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raphael-angele · 2 years

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Duke Thomas as Terry Jeffords cuz They're the Only Ones who Get Sh*t Done

At the dentist:

Dick: Hey hey. How'd it go? Is his voice all high pitched now?

Dentist: What? No, of course not.

Dick: Of course not.

Duke: DICK! The doctors turned me into a superhero. I am SO STRONG! *Sees hands* Gasp. And they made me black

Dentist: He's on a lot of medication. We had a problem with the anesthesia. Turns out, most of the ones we had were almost expired and we couldn't risk using it.

Duke: Psst, Psst, Dick.

Dick: Hm?

Duke: Sometimes I don't wanna go on patrol, so I just stay out and go where I can during the day and do nothing.

Dick: hahaha! *to the dentist* So he has no filter on, whatsoever?

Dentist: None

Dick: Aight. I'm gonna take you home now, Duke. Hey, what do you think about Bruce?

Duke: Oh, he needs to smoke some weed

Dick: YYYYEEEESSSS! Thank you, Mr. Dentist.

---

In a bar:

Tim: Can we order some food?

Bartender: Cook's gone. I sent him home

Duke, hungry: Do you have any more of these pretzels?

Bartender: Sure...

Duke: *grabs pretzel bottle and chugs it down*

Bartender: ...I'll call the cook

Tim: good call

---

Interrogation:

Duke: Is Jay-Z your favorite artist?

Dick: Yes

Damian: Lie

Dick: See? It's busted!

Duke: Really? Or is your favorite artist really Taylor Swift?

Dick: Psh, no.

Damian: Lie

Dick: Fine, she is. She makes me feel things

Duke: SHE MAKES ALL OF US FEEL THINGS!

---

Duke: Guess I really didn't think of you as that kind of friend.

Dick: Duke, I'm every kind of friend. I'm Rachel, I'm Chandler, I'm Phoebe, I'm...who's the dinosaur guy again?

Duke: Ross, bro. Ross!

Dick: Sorry, I forgot you were such a Ross-head

---

Duke: Maybe you should just call it a day, Bruce

Bruce: I can't. I've been asked to deliver a message of hope. This is what I have so far. *clears throat* Paiiiiinnnnn.

Duke:

Bruce: That's it

Duke: ...How about, you lose the word pain and go to bed and get some sleep?

---

Back from the Dentist (Part 2):

Duke, seeing Damian: You're head is so small!

Damian: Thomas, please let go

Duke: Like...REALLLYYYY SMALLLLL! WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR BRAIN?!

---

Duke: Okay. Personal photos are down, Kitchen is spotless, AND, I got that silver-painted break-dancer outside of that apartment to move his boom box, elsewhere

Jason: You beat him in a dance off?

Duke: Correction, I destroyed him.

---

Duke: Got a second, Bruce?

Bruce: Yeah, what is it?

Duke: I got these overtime forms for you to *Trying to stop a yawn*

Bruce: Are you stifling a yawn?

Duke: No, sir

Bruce: Go to bed.

Duke: I'm fine. I've filled this out, I just need you to *tries to stop yawn again*

Bruce:

Duke: ...permission to yawn, sir?

Bruce: Go. To. Bed. Duke.

Duke: Yes, sir

Bruce: We don't need you becoming another Tim

---

Duke: Hey. Sorry I let personal stuff affect the job.

Jason: It's okay

Duke: No, it's not. This morning, I did some real work and I tracked down a guy who was suspected of criminal activity. I think we got ourselves the supplier

Jason: Wow, nice work, Duke.

Duke: Welcome

Jason: And listen, you don't have to worry about the whole hero thing. From what I know, you're the only one around here that's actually normal, despite the fact that you're a meta. You're new to this whole hero thing and you'll get better. We all do. You'll be a great hero.

Duke: Thanks, Jay.

---

After being stopped by the police: Long story short, Bruce called the police on them intentionally to get them checked

Dick: Let me see your phone

Bruce: What are you implying, Dick? This is preposterous.

Dick: Lemme see it

Bruce: No.

*Fight*

Dick, with Bruce's phone: AHA! 25 minutes ago, a call to 911. YOU SABOTAGED US, BRUCE! YOU SABOTAGED US! Duke, will you do the honors.

Duke:

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yellodisney · 3 years

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Hayley i was abt to call u and u literally appeared back there

Battle of the dubplates now izi

Str8 assassin's fam gaf

Thats mr Ts daughter i dont want barrage of body shots and worl o BLOW!wzz to the head from a national treasure??

Hayley yea ....she bad az fuhh unruly azz

How random is that ...i dint know for yrs

Imagine holin bagga liks off the inlaws everytime u see them

Bwah! Getyoyellaazzoverhurr

I heard yu be talkin to a whole bunch o otha chicks not just mah hayley ... prediction? PAiiiiiNNNNN...WHAN! headbutt GANGGG!! uppercut etc

The West Palm Beach Incident rated R

U bad az fuhh aint u hayley u even look BAD azfUhH

U look a lil bit evil sometimes hayley

She wants me to show u her nowvbut ima save dat

I told u i aint looking thanksgiving beatings bro

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satan-in-a-tea-cup · 7 years

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john watson thoughts

I just discovered this amazing podcast called

three patch podcast (tpp)

[link to episode 56 on itunes|https://itunes.apple.com/se/podcast/the-three-patch-podcast/id592321052?mt=2&i=378478656]

because most newer episodes are reactions to s4 and *here be cloud of anxiety* s4 still sore to me so I chose the episode aired right before in december 2016

and it included a gem

Live from Sherlock Seattle:

Watson Isn’t Necessarily Nice (0:56:36)

really interesting panel

including a war veteran who played watson on a radio show for 18 years!

absolutely loved the whole panel but here post season 4 I gotta give the person who said /john is going to explode/ a special place in my heart valves

because that’s exactly what happened

it was written in his stars

he’s violent and repressed and that equals person that might explode and violently overreact

today also I saw the usual what happened to my Softee john :((( give me back the john watson i know. s4 john is imposter alien:(((

so it felt extra good today to have my reading of john confirmed by others

john watson was /never/ soft

hm well okay /maybe/ except when he hit on sherlock at angelo’s in asip yeah he was all big eyes hm wait no can a person really be really soft and smoll if you decide to shamelessly hit on someone and someone is sherlock bloody holmes

I tried okay. okay waiT the drunken game! am I pretty lady and soft eyes. that. okay. /that/

the rest of the show is steel and explosives hidden in a cozy jumper yes in fact the only soft about john ever are the jumpers

explosives nonetheless

that was something in s4 that actually made sense

tho it hurt like hell and don’t get me wrong I would have been much happier if moftiss let that particular character arch build up go unexplored to die silently in their graveyard of loose ends

but no

painnnn

that was all moftiss chanted in their sleep writing s4 -paiiiiinnnnn

lots and lots of

painnnn

#tpp #three patch podcast #john #John Watson #bbc sherlock s4 #bbc sherlock

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