#And like. I get it? No one wants to have their stuff being used without their consent

[redr0sewrites]

Could you please do fluffy Lucifer head cannons! (I love your Hazbin hotel hcs💗)

🥀A/n: YESSSS OFC!! i love luciii hes so cute

🥀Cw: none, just fluff!!!

lucifer is a very touchy person in general, and when it comes to his partner, he just ADORES giving and receiving affection from you. he always wants to be touching you in one way or another, but he always makes sure to ask beforehand.

he rubs your thumb when you both hold hands!!!! he also seems like the type to gently swing his arm when you both are holding hands and walking side by side, he's just giddy about getting to spend time with you!!!

lucifer loves showing you off. he's definitely bringing you to every event that he attends, and is proudly stating that you're his partner at any given opportunity

MATCHING COUPLES ITEMS!!!! ive said it before and i'll say it again, lucifer is the type to ADORE matching couples outfits, jewelry, mugs, literally anything! u guys have SOOO much matching stuff simply because he adores it

loves sitting in your lap. there is no place in the world more comfortable for lucifer than in your arms, and he just loves being able to cuddle with you in your lap. he MELTS whenever you touch his hair, and is overall very touchy

if your taller than him, he ADORES hugs from behind!!! he loves when you rest your chin atop his head, and won't even mind some light teasing about his height.

loves tickles!!!! sometimes he'll wake you up with tickles or kisses across your face, just so he can hear your laughter

lucifer can't fall asleep without touching you in some way! if you aren't a very cuddly person while you sleep, that's ok, but he still asks to link pinkies while sleeping just so he knows you're there. if you are a fan of cuddles, prepare to be clung to!!

he would adore it if you got along with charlie, and definitely persists at trying to get you two to hangout. he loves the idea of the three of you being a family and doing family things together, and charlie is just happy to finally see him happy, so she's very grateful towards you

lucifer is a RAMBLER, he loves talking about his special interests and cares a lot if you listen to him and act interested too! you definitely learn a lot of duck facts from him, along with anything else that's interesting that he's picked up over the years

FLIRTY!!!!!!! he's sooooo cheesy, and definitely uses the cringiest pickup lines. sometimes he does it to be funny, and sometimes he does it to be serious. he also has a BUNCH of nicknames and petnames for you, and some are satire while others are more genuine

to name a few of the satire one, he'd probably say duckie, pookie, and prince/princess (ironically tho). unironically i think he'd call you dear or "my dearest", darling, and honey as well. he isn't afraid to call you pet names in public, he honestly refers to you more as "dear" than your actual name! i also think lucifer would make up nicknames based on your name specifically. you could have a 3 letter name and he'd still somehow shorten it. definitely gives you nicknames related to your name, say for example your name is rose, he's absolutely the type to call you "rosie posie" instead of just rose

writes you little notes throughout the day and sends them to you magically :) he also buys you practically anything you want, he is rich after all

overall he's very affectionate, and he could never pick a love language when it comes to giving. he just has so much love to give, and he makes sure you're spoiled with affection!!!!!!!!

ack sorry this is so short i promise im still trying 😭 school and family *cough* mom *cough* stuff has been lowkey kicking my ass but ive been SO motivated to write it's actually insane so im trying to power through my 100+ hazbin hotel requests even though ive lowkey moved on- i still enjoy the fandom, but i just need a break yk? ANYWAYS!!!! FEEL FREE TO SEND IN REQUESTS, ESPECIALLYYYYYY ARCANE, TDP, OR ACOTAR REQUESTS!!!!!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x oc #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer imagine #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel x female reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #hasbin hotel #hasbin lucifer #hazbin hotel fandom #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar fanfic #lucifer morningstar x you #lucifer morningstar fanart #lucifer morningstar hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar imagine #lucifer morningstar fluff #hasbin hotel fluff #hazbin hotel fluff

[rafesslxt]

✧.* 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑬𝑵𝒁𝑶 𝑩𝑬𝑹𝑲𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑹𝑬 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵

[ aftercare ] ― oh he would be the sweetest boy after sex – running you a bath after a long and intense session, using your favorite bathing stuff so you can relax in it

[ body part ] ― he loves everything on your body but especially your neck, hips, stomach and ass. All soft skin for him to taste. On his own body he likes his stomach, trained abs and v lines

[ cum ] ― also would go feral seeing his cum on you - loves it when you swallow

[ desires ] ― He‘s a switch so when he‘s in control he gets turned on by seeing you tembling under his touch

When he‘s sub oh boy – he‘s a moaning mess as soon as you start whispering dirty things into his ear and how you wanna ride his cock. "Shit baby, please.. let‘s go to my dorm, need you."

[ experience ] ― he would be quiete experienced even tho he seems shy to many he just knows how to seduce the girls and lure them in. He has a lot one night stands but always makes it clear from the start that this is a one time thing

[ first time ] ― he was quiete a mess with all these new feelings and sensations on his body

[ grooming ] ― completly shaved - i can‘t explain why

[ horny ] ― oh sex is defined important to him and he would be horny all the time especially with you as his girlfriend by his side. Just a look at your skirt would be enough to have him turned on in his seat. Just 2 days without sex and he would have blue balls already

[ intimacy ] ― he can do both – romantic and casual. Depends on his partner and his relationship with them. If it‘s just a fling he would be more casual but If he‘s with his gf then he would do romantic stuff like candles and rose petals all over to floor

[ joker ] ― he would be clumsy sometimes and is able to laugh with you while having sex

[ kinks ] ― he has so many and is open to experimenting with you from all possible positions to any kind of kink. He would love being a sub from time to time, has a classic daddy kink, breeding kink, orgasm control, edging, tying yours or his hands up to the bed and so on – kinky little baby

[ locations ] ― he loves to do it in front of people but in a way no one notices. He would make you cockwarming him under a blanket while you‘re in the common room with the rest of the gang, slowly circling your hips. He would whisper in your ear. "Hmm If you continue moving I‘m gonna drag you to your dorm or fuck you over the desk in front of us, you want that, doll?"

[ masturbation ] ― he loves to do it with you together or when he knows he‘s not allowed to and lets himself get caught just so you punish him. But sometimes he would be a good boy and not touch himself, begging under you. "hmm baby please I‘ve been such a good boy. I didn‘t even touch myself!“

[ no go ] ― knife play. He likes slapping you or grabbing you harshly If you like it too but knife play would be a no go. Not because of the blood but because of the pain and knowing he could leave scars

[ oral ] ― a munch like Mattheo. He would beg you to eat you out, begging for your pussy to ride his face but he also enjoys getting a blowjob

[ positions ] ― 69 for sure so he can pleasure you while you suck his cock, also you riding him while he sucks on your nipples and watching you bounce up and down on him

[ quickies ] ― he would use every chance to do them between classes, in the bathroom in the broomsticks, before quidditch practice, before a quidditch game, while throwing a party in the common room so no one notices you‘re gone for too long

[ rounds ] ― high stanima since he‘s playing sports. He would go round for round until you‘re all sensetive and he would make you come over and over again until you‘re a whimpering mess beneath him. "Just one more baby, I promise.. just one more time, for me.“

[ secrets ] ― panty thief for sure. When you two are just friends and he has a crush on you, he would steal them when you‘re not looking or falling asleep while doing a movie marathon with him

[ toys ] ―he would love teasing your pulsating clit with your vibrator. "oh baby what was that? Can‘t hear you over all these pretty little noises."

But also when you use a cockrimg on him so he couldn‘t come "oh fuck please baby let me come. I need to come so fucking bad, oh shit –" he would be a whimpering mess when you start the vibrating mode.

[ underwear ] ― black is simple but would make him go crazy

[ volume ] ― let‘s be honest – he‘s definitely vocal doesn‘t matter If he‘s dom or sub in that moment. "God your pussy is so fucking tight baby, feel you milking my cock – merlin"

[ watch ] ― he would share you but only with his closest friends and when you really want to. He also enjoys watching you touching yourself – sometimes it‘s a punishment for him when he‘s a bad boy

[ xxx ] ― barely - cause of all the quickies you two have

[ yearning ] ― i feel like he would be a tease and try to get a reaction out of you until you can‘t tale it anymore

[ zzz ] ― he would cuddle with you and then drifting of to sleep with you together

[ this is how I see Enzo, you don‘t have to like or agree 🤍 ]

thank you for reading and supporting 🫶🏻 heres my masterlist

taglist: @little-miss-naill @itsarajr @hisparentsgallerryy @littlemadamred @ummmmmmm-username @jeannie-beannie @belle-blue @sagetakami @simp-for-fantasy [send me a message If you wanna get removed from taglist]

xoxo sarah <3

#slytherin boys #slytherin imagine #slytherin smut #slytherin boys drabble #slytherin boys fluff #slytherin boys smut #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys imagine #slytherin boys headcanons #lorenzo berkshire one shot #lorenzo berkshire drabble #lorenzo berkshire smut #lorenzo berkshire x you #lorenzo berkshire headcanon #lorenzo berkshire fluff #lorenzo berkshire imagine #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire fanfic

[chongoblog]

Weird question, I know, but do you have any recommendations for getting into roguelikes? Or at least roguelites?

Great question! As far as the genre of roguelike/lite goes, there’s a pretty wide berth. I think it depends on what kind of experience you’re looking for.

I was gonna give a breakdown of lite vs like, but honestly I’m just gonna go down the list

Hades/Hades 2: Very good if you want to experience a story, tight gameplay, and be pretty sure that you’ll make your way to the end eventually without ragequitting. A lot of its charm comes in it being easier and focusing more on progressing story than Just Being A Wall like some of the other games on this list. Probably the best entry point to roguelikes in this whole list.

Spelunky/Spelunky 2: Remember when I mentioned a wall to throw yourself at? I haven’t played nearly as much Spelunky 2, but I can tell you that I have SOOOOO much time in the first Spelunky (hell I had a lot of time in it back when it was freeware. Now THAT was an exciting time). It’s very very difficult and unforgiving. But it’s a blast once you figure out the tricks.

Slay the Spire: THE deckbuilder roguelike. A ton of roguelikes nowadays have deckbuilder elements and I feel like a lot of it comes from this game. Can’t recommend it enough. If you’re looking for other deckbuilder roguelikes, you can try Monster Train or Balatro (warning this one is crack if you like Number Go Up)

FTL Faster Than Light: You know Star Trek? Imagine if you were a ship captain and you were in control of all the ship functions and crew members. And also everything wanted you dead. And uh oh half your crew is dead. Oh god the O2 chamber is on fire. Another one of those “Throw Yourself At A Wall” type games. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever completed a run myself, but it’s a wonderful experience every time I pick it up

Skul: Definitely one of my favorites in recent memory. A fun action platformer where you get to be a lil skeleton dude, what more could you ask for? Very similar to Dead Cells, which I’ve also played, but I think I like Skul a good bit better (DC is very good though!!!)

Dicey Dungeons: Made by the same guy who did VVVVVV, Dicey Dungeons is a very fun take on the genre, basing it around dice, and allowing for a lot of creative playstyles around the mechanic.

Binding of Isaac: I feel like this one needs no introduction, but in case it does, BoI takes most of its inspiration from the original Legend of Zelda. I have a few issues with it myself which is why I don’t play it nearly as much as I used to (mostly due to it having soooooooo much stuff that trying to remember everything is a hassle, kinda like my issue with TF2 unfortunately) but it’s beloved for a reason so it might just end up being up your alley

Other games I know about but haven’t played much of, so I can’t say much are Streets of Rogue, Risk of Rain 2, Rogue Legacy (I did play a lot back in the day but never got far), Noita, Into the Breach, Darkest Dungeon, and Crypt of the Necrodancer

If anyone else has any recommendations or if you second any of these recs, feel free to put em in the replies

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Quick world lore question; does the game ever specify what kind of potions/poisons exist in twst? Like, since it's technically a fantasy world, would things like health/stamina potions like you'd see in rpg's exist? Or would it be closer to reality, like home remedies and basic pharmaceutical stuff?

I'm only an EN player and I havent read all the pomfiore student's vignette's so if they answer this there then im sorry for the bother ; ;

Potions aren't talked about in the only Pomefiore students' vignettes! (In fact, if we're talking just strictly Labwear vignettes... Vil and Rook's don't really focus on potions at all; only Epel's sort of does.) There isn't actually a ton of lore about potions, and in the times when they do become relevant, the writing tends to focus more on the ingredients and/or the preparation process rather than what kind of potion would be produced. For example, the entire Labwear series of vignettes frequently brings up rare or dangerous plants that require the application of magic in order to safely harvest, such as the mandrake and the lantern blossom.

I wasn't able to check all vignettes (since that would be like... what, probably a few hundred at this point? If not that, then at least over 100.), but there's definitely mentions of potions with various effects. From all lab vignettes alone and combing through the main story, here's what I could glean:

transformation/transmutation potions (prologue, book 2, Beans Day, book 6, etc; this is probably the most often mentioned type of potion)

voice-changing potions (Leona Labwear vignette)

color-changing potions (Epel Labwear voice line)

plant growth potions (Epel Labwear voice line)

sleeping potions (Silver Labwear vignette)

awakening potions (Silver Labwear vignette)

magic enhancing potions (book 2)

a potion that changes one part of your body to that of an animal's (book 3)

On the subject of poisons, no specific kinds are mentioned as far as I'm aware. There's a Poison Refining class (Cater Labwear vignettes), but we don't really get specifics. When poisons are talked about, it's usually in reference to the Fairest Queen or the Pomefiore dorm leader being skilled in making potent poisons, or it's Kalim talking about the many attempts on his life and unnamed poison antidotes. There may be more mentioned in other places, but at this time I don't have the capacity to check every single event and vignette. If you know of any more that aren’t listed here, please let me know and I can update the list!!

It should also be noted that "potions" can also be used for other purposes. This includes creating special effects for movies (mentioned in Vil's Labwear vignettes) and enhancing the effects of skincare (book 6, Azul Ceremonial Robes, etc.).

You'll notice that the effects of these potions can also be achieved via regular spellcasting. (In fact, we see Adeuce practicing color changing magic in Floyd's Labwear vignettes + Vil using color changing magic to help himself hide from paparazzi, etc., Jack's/Malleus's/Azul's UMs also allow them to do things without the help of potions.) Because of this, I believe that potions are meant to be an alternative way of spellcasting without actually needing to use magic. This makes already prepared potions usable by mages who don't want to expend energy/build blot as well as by NON-MAGES.

Within the world of TWST, there is an occupation known as the “medical mage”, who appear to combine magic and medicine into their practice. Furthermore, what is called “Potionology” in EN is written as 魔法薬学 (literally, "magic pharmaceuticals") in JP, implying that there is, in fact, an intersection between magic and medicine. This is similar to how "technomancy" is described to be the cross between magic and technology.

In terms of a "healing potion", there are instances which show that a magic potion may heal or at least speed up the body's natural healing process. For example, in 7-68 of the main story, Baur gives Lilia something to drink to help him with the dire blow he just took. It doesn't appear to restore him to full health though, as Lilia states he still needs rest afterward. In EN, they use the term "potion" but in JP they use "薬" (kusuri), which is "medicine". Baur qualifies the character with "魔法" (maho), which is "magic", so the term he's using is "magic medicine". This is probably the closest thing to a "healing" potion that we know of in the TWST lore.

So technically, yes, TWST has "healing potions". I wouldn’t say there is one blanket cure-all potion though; based on what we know of potionology and how it’s very similar to irl chemistry classes, we can assume that there are generalized “healing potions” but that there must also be far more specialized and targeted ones, similar to medicine irl or non-enchanted or non-magic infused medicine. I would imagine that, like transformation potions, “healing potions” would have to be highly regulated since they’re basically a drug 💀 (There would probably be OTC types too, given proper governmental approval!)

#twst #twisted wonderland #Vil Schoenheit #Epel Felmier #Rook Hunt #Pomefiore #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #notes from the writing raven #question #jp spoilers #book 2 spoilers #Ace Trappola #Deuce Spade #Jack Howl #Azul Ashengrotto #Malleus Draconia #twst theory #twst theories #twisted wonderland theories #twisted wonderland theory #twst resource #twisted wonderland resource #Evil Queen #Kalim Al-Asim #twst en #twisted wodnerland en #book 7 spoilers #Baur Zigvolt #Baal Zigvolt

[writingroom21]

The Nanny

Pairing: Rafe x Nanny Reader

Summary: Being Wheezie's nanny was great. The only downside was dealing with the oldest Cameron, Rafe. What happens when his fascination with the nanny becomes a reality?

Warnings: Angst, mention of drugs, (Let me know if I missed any)

Wc: 4.8K

A/N: Sorry for the shorter chapter. I got a stomach bug and it's been kicking my ass

Chapter 7: Will we ever be enough?

A thumping noise stirred you from your sleep. Footsteps make their way closer to the bed, quick steps slightly muffled. Crap did you not lock the door last night? The bed shifts right next to you, the person resting their weight there. Your eyes are screwed shut hoping that Rafe will go away and not bother you right now. “Hey get up.” The voice is feminine definitely not Rafe. Peaking one eye open you see Wheezie sitting in front of you. Jumping up, you give her a big hug, pulling her super close. “Jesus you’re going to squeeze me to death.”Even though she protests, her arms are squeezing you just as tight. 

“Sorry I just missed you.” You say as you pull back. Looking at the alarm clock you see that it is nine in the morning.  “What happened while I was gone?” Wheezie’s words cause you to freeze, shoulders tensing at the thought of the past week. “Why would you think that something happened?” Your words spew out more than coming out calmly like you intended. She just gives you a strange look, her eyes glint behind her glasses. Her stare is making you squirm in your spot, it’s like she was deciphering what was plaguing your mind.

“Well I have been gone a whole week so wanted to see what you were up to. But now I’m thinking something actually did happen.” Her look is questioning, wanting you to tell her what happened but mostly to see if she was right in her thoughts. One of her friends had texted her saying she saw you and Rafe together in his truck. She didn’t believe them at first, I mean come one there’s no way. Everything Rafe did seemed to annoy you, to be fair he had that effect on everyone. But to think that of you two together was weird, Wheezie wouldn’t mind it would just take some time to get used to.

“Nothing happened. It was a boring week without everyone.” You nonchalantly say, shrugging it off and getting up from the bed. Since everyone was back it’s best if you got ready and did something today. “So nothing made Rafe destroy part of the living room last night? Dad was pretty mad when he saw what Rafe did.” Your actions hault, the shirt in your hands slipping back to the drawer it came from. “Rafe did what?” You practically shout as you turn to her. “When we got home today dad found Rafe in the living room. It looked like he was throwing some stuff around last night. I’m surprised that his yelling didn’t wake you up.” She watches you as you gather your clothes, not really saying anything.

“It’s okay if something did happen, I wouldn’t be upset.” Wheezie is being honest. The more she thought about it the more she realized it would be nice. You are already part of the family and she loves you. Not to mention Rafe seems happier around you, she noticed that he isn’t as rude or violent when you are around. It made her happy to see him like that. It brought her back to when she was really young and Rafe cared about her before he changed. It was comforting for her to know that even in all that hate, her brother was still deep down there just waiting to come out.

She just watches as you keep your back turned to her, walking to the bathroom. Right before you walked in you looked over your shoulder at her. “Nothing happened Wheeze.” With that you went in, getting ready for the day. Letting the hot water melt away the tension in your body. When you got back into your room Wheezie was laying on your bed scrolling through tiktoks. “Can I just say I missed the internet while I was gone. Getting up to date on everything in one morning is very tiring.” She exaggerates flopping her body around once she hears you enter. “You were only gone for a week. How much could you have possibly missed?” You detangle your hair as she keeps talking. 

“You don’t get it. All of my friends have been going to the parties now, things happen at those. Like this one guy was caught making out with another girl besides his girlfriend at the bonfire the other day. Can you imagine that? What a dick to even hookup with someone when you are seeing someone else.” By the look on your face she can tell that she messed up. That the fun story she thought would lift your moods actually seemed to make it worse. Her eyes widened when she realized that you were the girlfriend and Rafe was the dick that two timed you. Can’t really say girlfriend but the notion still stands, he was seeing you and then did that.

“Oh my go-” “Why don’t we go off the island and do something fun today? It's not even elven yet so we can catch the ferry and go shopping or something.” Your words are rushed, kinda mumbling together from how fast they came out. It’s one thing for Wheezie to be prying into what happened over this week. Now it's another thing for her to be connecting the dots just by telling one story. You know she can tell you were a part of it, the look of sorrow has infiltrated her face. She just doesn’t have to know that Rafe was the guy that hurt you like that. She says your name.

“Wheeze drop it.” If only your words were that simple or that Wheezie actually listened. “I’m sorry I didn’t kno-” 

“Wheeze it’s okay. I was seeing some guy and he was apparently seeing other people as well. It sucks but it happened. All I can do is move on and not let it get to me. Now get up and let’s go. We have the day ahead of us.” Reluctantly Wheezie gets up and follows you out of the room. Just as you were about to get to the stairs the door to Rafe’s room opened, causing the two of you to meet face to face again. His eyes are red, you can’t tell if it’s from crying or being high out of his mind. Rafe’s eyes flicker around your face and catch the glimpse of Wheezie behind you.

All he wants is to grab you by the arm and drag you into his room. That way you would be forced to talk to him. Let him explain how he doesn’t want to hurt you, how he doesn;t want to be the person you are afraid of. He can handle the frightened looks from others, the ones that scream he’s a psycho but he can’t handle it from you. He doesn’t want to be like your dad, he doesn’t want to make you feel small. Rafe just wants you to smile again, to hear your laugh even just for a moment. Then he remembers the look on your face last night. The disgust as he tried to explain himself. Just that reminder was enough for the steel walls to come back up and for him to brush past you like nothing.

“What no comment today?” Wheezie jests at her brother, testing out the waters. If she’s right she has to know. “Nothing to comment about. Stop being a little shit.” Rafe snaps back, continuing his trek down the stairs. It shouldn’t sting this much knowing he has nothing to say to you. It still does, a sharp pain radiating in your chest, constricting and then relaxing before repeating the cycle. Once you get by the front door you realize that your car is still broken down at John B’s. “You have got to be kidding me.” You whisper

“What’s up?” Wheezie asks. “I totally forgot that my car broke down yesterday and we now have no way to the main island.” Just before the other girl can answer, Rafe interrupts. “I can take you, Just get in the truck.” His keys jiggle in his hands as he walks to the door. “NO!” Wheezie yells making the both of you look at her. Rafe gives her a look, to anyone else they would be scared but she just rolls her eyes at him. “It’s supposed to be a girls day hence no boys allowed. I see Sarah pulling in anyway, we’ll just ask her if she wants to tag along.” She explains as she drags you out the house and into Sarah’s car without any warning.

“Wheeze what the hell?” Sarah exclaims, staring at the youngest sibling for answers. “Drive Rafe is trying to take us to the mainland because someone's car is broken.” The explanation was all she needed to put the car in drive and speed off. “You told her about Rafe? I knew you were close but I thought you would keep that one to yourself.” Wheezie shrieks. “It was Rafe! I knew it.” Her words die down as you disconnect from the conversation. You look at the back window to catch as Rafe walks out locking eyes with yours as you leave.

✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶

“What do you think about this one?” You ask, holding up a top to your chest. “I like that color on you.” Sarah points out, grabbing a few tops to try on. “Yeah maybe Rafe will get jealous when he sees how many people hit on you.” This is the third time Wheezie has mentioned him since Sarah accidently spilled the beans.The first was in the car directly after. “When did it start? Like where you and Rafe always a thing or did this just happen? I’m just confused by this.” Sarah had shot her a death glare and told her to cut it out.

The second time happened two stores in on your shopping spree. Well more like taking them shopping as you get a few things for yourself. “I’m sorry Rafe did that to you. I stand by what I said earlier he’s a dick.” You just sighed, pushing some jeans around to find your size. “Don’t say that he’s your brother. He messed up but that’s a part of being human. I can be upset because he hurt me but you can’t fault him for making a mistake.” You eye her by peripheral vision.

“He hurt you and you’re upset about it. I’m upset he hurt you.” She huffs. “Exactly Wheeze he hurt me. I have a right to be upset with him. He didn’t hurt you, it’s sweet that you care about mt. He’s still your brother and making mistakes is a part of life, don't be too hard on him, okay.” You place a hand on her shoulder rubbing a small circle. “Fine but I still think he’s dumb.” You chuckle as Sarah walks over. “What do you think?”

Which brings you back to third, now. “I don’t need him to be jealous. It doesn't matter.” You put the top back and dig around for more. “So you wouldn’t care if you saw Rafe with someone else?” Bile tries to crawl it way up and you have to try hard to keep it down. The thought  alone was awful enough to make you feel like crying. “Wheeze leave her alone.” Sarah scolds her younger sister. Trying to convey that this is not the time to be talking like that. “No it’s okay. I wouldn’t care, he can do whatever he wants.” Lie.

It would crush you, physically break you. You’ve always been a second choice your whole life. Parents always loved each other more than you. Most of your friends from school don’t even talk to you, deciding it was better to cut you out and all stay friends. Second in your family, second in social life, and now second in love life. Seeing him happy with another person would hurt the most. 

Rafe was one of the only people who seemed to actually pay attention to you. Sure at first it bugged the shit out of you due to all the flirting. But you could see the way he noticed the small details about you. Asking about the current tv show you are watching even though you never mentioned it to him. Or when he gets Wheezie a treat and happens to get your favorite as well. Nothing with him felt like you were second best. Yeah you knew about his reputation with girls yet it didn’t matter because he never treated them like that. Now all you can see is how he did all of it just to sleep with you. It was never genuine and he never wanted something deeper. 

Giving up on finding any other clothes, you just watch as the girls shop. Giving input on which items they should get or what they should pair it with. It goes like that for a couple more stories until you all decide to go get an early dinner and head back to the island. Missing the Ferry would be a big inconvenience so it’s better to be early. 

“You know there’s this party going on tomorrow night. We should all go.” You and Sarah stare at Wheezie. Did she just really suggest going to a party together? “Wheeze I literally nanny you. Taking you to a party would probably get me fired.” You laugh while taking a bite of your chicken alfredo. “You’re practically Sarah’s nanny too and you go to parties with her.” She argues. “One Sarah is older than you and I am not her nanny. Two, you are just going into highschool. It would be weird if I was bringing you to parties or even encouraging that.” You argue back.

Truth be told you actually don’t want to go at all. If there’s a party then Rafe will be there, he always is. It’s bad enough you have to deal with him now at the house, seeing him outside would just be torture. “How about we stay in and watch movies?” You suggest, mostly hoping that she will take the bait. “Come on please can we just go? All of my friends are going to be there, I can’t be the only one not going.” Just as you were about to speak Sarah cuts in. “Wheeze she’s right. If dad found out you went to a party and she as so much even knew, he would fire her. Your friends shouldn’t even be going to those parties to begin with.” Who knew Sarah could be the word of wisdom.

Sighing, Wheezie gives up trying, rather choosing to finish her food. “You should at least go and have fun. Show Rafe what he’s missing.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you. You just look down at your plate, avoiding eye contact so you don’t have to answer her. “We should finish so we can head out before it’s too late.” The two other girls nod their heads. The rest of the dinner had awkward silence. No one knew what to say, you didn’t want to keep talking about Rafe but Wheezie had so many questions. Poor Sarah wanted to help you out but she also had questions.

The middle Cameron knew when she should leave topics to rest, knowing that pushing you too much would cause issues. From experience she knows you don’t like to share things, she only really knows basic things. Maybe a few more personal information but nothing too crazy. It never bothered Sarah because no matter what you are still a great friend. On the other hand it bothers Wheezie how closed off you can be. She has questions and she wants answers to them.

She’s curious on how this even started, was it you or was it Rafe? Had to be Rafe she thought. Did you want the two of you to be together? Duh or you wouldn’t be so heartbroken. But mostly she wants to know what Rafe could do to make everything okay. What he did still makes her upset but she believes that he’s better with you. The car and Ferry ride back home was just Wheezie thinking. She just had to get the two of you to see eye to eye. If she could do that then everything will be okay even better than okay.

“Hey John B just texted me to say that he and JJ fixed up your car.” Sarah looks over at you. The view from the Ferry turns into Sarah’s face as you pan over to her. “Really?” You shift in your seat, sitting up a little straighter. “Yeah I can take you once we get back. That way you can have your car.” You smile at the blonde girl thanking her. You just want to get home now, tired from the day.

✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶

“Well hello there gorgeous.” JJ shouts from the dock next to John B’s House. Sarah had just dropped you off, taking Wheezie back home so she can be free for the night. “Hey Jayj! Heard you boys fixed up my car.” You smile at the boys making their way over to you. “That we did. Had a leak in your exhaust it caused the engine to stop running.” JJ slaps a hand on John B’s shoulder after the boy just explained the problem. “Don’t worry we fixed her up nice. It will getcha from point A to B in one piece. Hopefully.” JJ jokes thinking he’s funny like usual.

You roll your eyes at the blonde. “Haha, so funny. Can I get my keys now so I can leave? Wouldn’t want to intrude on your make out session.” You tease the boys. It’s been an ongoing joke since you had to watch them one time. They were in middle school then. You weren’t that much older but Luke didn’t like the thought of his son and no good friend alone. It was one of the very few times Luke spent money on his Boy. 

Them being young teen boys started hitting on you and you told them to go make out in the corner. From then on the joke took a life of its own. Anytime they annoyed you the joke always came flying out. “And I thought I was a comedian.” JJ huffs throwing the keys at you to catch them. “Now if you could leave we have some important business to attend to.” John B shoves him off pulling a face of disgust to the other boy. “Take him with you please he won’t leave me alone.”

You laugh as you walk to the car, unlocking the door and opening in. “If I wanted to take Jayj I would have just asked him to come along. It wouldn’t be fair to separate such a happy family.” You say as you get in and start the car. “Fuck you” They yell and flip you off, watching as you back out to the dirt road. 

It seems like when they fixed your exhaust they also put AC fluid in your car. The vents are now blowing cold air instead of hot like it's done for the last two summers. It makes the drive back more enjoyable. Not having to stick with the windows down that just blow hot air at you is life changing. No more muggy car rides that make your clothes stick to your skin. A new car, well slightly new, for a new start. Everything is going to work out.

That mindset was put to rest as soon as you stepped foot into the house. Yelling can be heard from down the hall. “What is so wrong with you that you can’t seem to stop yourself from fucking up?” Ward's voice echoes down the hall. “You can’t do anything right can you? I swear Rafe I wonder if you even are my kid. How could you when all you do is cause me headaches. Sarah isn’t like this, why can’t you be more like her?” Footsteps get close to you, panicking you try to leave but run into Wheezie. “I’m sorry I was just trying to ask him questions and dad overheard. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

She’s crying into your arms, her grip tight. “Wheeze what did you do?” Her glossy eyes look up at you. “I was asking him how he could mess up what you had. Dad overheard and then started yelling at him. I don’t know what to do.” You brush her hair to sooth her, feeling bad for the crying girl. “Where are they?”

“Dad’s study.” she squeaks out. “Okay. Go to your room, I'll find you after.” Your feet carry you closer to the room. Listening closely you can hear Rafe’s voice now. “Sarah? Are you fucking kidding me? Sarah has run off time after time with John B and the rest of them. She has left you more times than I can count and she’s still your favorite?” You can tell he’s hurt, you can hear it in his voice. This conversation is an exact replica to the others you have heard. 

“Don’t start this again. Just because you keep screwing up doesn’t mean you can bring Sarah down. She’s a kid, she’s still learning.” Ward yells back. “What about me?” Rafe yells. “I’m your kid too. I have done everything to make you see that I care. I’m the only one who actually wants to continue the family business. I’m the one who has had your back this whole time. Sarah doesn’t care about you, why can’t you get that.”

You are right outside the door now. Rafe and Ward are standing in the middle of the room staring at each other. “If you think I’m letting you anywhere near the account now then you’re just as stupid as I think you are.” You gasp but thankfully it wasn’t heard. “What?” Rafe’s confused, he was promised this account before his dad left for the trip. “You heard me. I left you for a week and you screwed the nanny. On top of that you cheat on her and trash the house up. I don’t know how many times I have given you a chance and you never change.”

“Nah you gave me that account before you left. I fucked up I know but you can’t just take that from me. I’ve worked hard for it and you can’t deny that. You can’t just take this from me for a mistake.” Were you the mistake or making out with Sofia? You shake the thought out of your head, it doesn’t matter. “No Rafe, a mistake is forgetting to buy something at the store you need. You took something good and fucked it up like you always do. That girl is better off without you anyway.” Rafe’s shoulders deflate at his fathers words. “Yes I can take this account and I will. Clearly you can not be trusted for anything.” You see Ward move around the room, scared he will catch you, you try to back away. The only issue was the floorboard squeaking and giving you away.

Both men look toward the door seeing half of you standing there, the other half blocked by the door. Ward calls your name out. “Can you come in here please?” Reluctantly you make your way into the room, eyes trained to the floor. “How much of that did you hear?” Ward asks. You look up making eye contact with Rafe before looking at the older Cameron. “Practically all of it.” You answer.

“You’re wrong by the way. Rafe didn’t do anything wrong, we weren’t together. He’s free to do whatever he pleases. Wheezie caught on to what happened and took it too far because she thought she was helping me. I honestly don’t care that it happened.” Rafe’s eyes are burning into your face. “He shouldn’t be punished for living his life. I know I may be over stepping here and you might want to let me go. But it wouldn’t be right if I stood here and watched him get in trouble for something that isn’t a big deal.”

Your eyes meet Rafe’s again after you finish. The blues in his seem so dull, almost lifeless. “No one is going to fire you. You’ve been good to us, I'm not letting that go. I appreciate you defending him but he needs to learn to fight his own battles.” Rafe shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m not defending him, ‘m telling the truth.” They open again watching you closely. “Then I guess everything is fine. You can keep the account.” Wards simply states and walks out the room. 

Heavy breathing is the only thing heard in the room for a moment. “I don’t need your help. Save it for someone else.” Rafe tries to brush past you, your hand stops him from getting far. “Are you kidding me right now?” He just stares at you, blank stare meeting your angry gaze. “You shouldn’t have done that. I don’t need you to help me. I could have handled that myself.” A scoff leaves your lips, hand falling from his arm.

“I did it to be nice because no one deserves to be yelled at like that. If your head is too stuck up your ass to see that you shouldn’t be treated like that then I’ll see myself out. I don’t need you to yell at me for doing something nice for you.” You try to walk around him but he steps in front of you. “Exactly I don’t need you to do something nice after I hurt you. Oh sorry I forgot that it meant nothing so I shouldn’t feel bad. Should’ve known this was some sick ploy for you to be the better person.” His words strike you, their venom flooding your system.

“Is that what you really think about me? That I would go so low to make you feel shitty. News flash Rafe the world doesn’t revolve around you. I don’t spend my days planning ways to destroy your life. I hate the way he talks to you, always have and I won’t be the reason why. I meant everything I said when we were together. It’s okay that you didn’t but don’t make me feel bad for something I didn’t do.”

You walk past him, reaching the door when he speaks again. “I freaked out. Kelce was saying dumb shit and I freaked out. I didn’t think you wanted more so I just…” His sentences fall short, Rafe trying to tie the words together in his brain. “So you just decided to be with someone else?” You bite back, wanting him to feel the pain you are. He exhales, his walls building back up, blocking off the confession on the tip of his tongue. The hope you gave him when you said you hated how his dad treats him dies. She will never trust you. “Yeah, I just decided that.” It’s better to just agree with you. Arguing has gotten nowhere and the truth falls onto deaf ears. 

You may have confessed that you meant what you had said, yet it didn’t matter to him. The key word being meant in your sentence. It doesn’t matter if he wants to say how much he cares about you, that the thought of not having you physically pains him, or how these past two days he can’t do anything but take bumps of coke. None of it matters because however you felt was clearly long gone. It was time for him to do the same, he needed to move on from you. The way your eyes shine at him tell him how much you don’t care, how little he means to you.

The urge to be high is scratching Rafe’s insides as he just looks at you. The pain slowly fades to numbness as he looks at the hate in your eyes. The clear baggy full of white powder burns a hole in his pocket, begging him to take a hit. “I didn’t want to hurt you. You won’t have to worry about me again. I’m sorry.” This time it’s Rafe who is leaving you, walking into the hall and past you like nothing. 

“What do you mean I don’t have to worry about you?” Your voice wavers, worried about what he means. He just keeps walking, not paying attention to you. “Rafe.” He looks at you, eyes scanning your face. “I mean I won’t be in your way. I’ll stay as far away from you as I can. You’ll be happier that way.” With that he just leaves. He knew Ward was right, you are better off without him. He’s seen it first hand how happy you can be when he isn’t there to bring down the mood. 

Even if he did love you, he was too damaged to deserve you.

#rafe x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe obx #rafe smut #drew starkey smut #obx #outer banks smut #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x nannyreader #rafe x you #rafe outer banks

[petew21-blog]

Teen wolf - Alpha needs his pack Part 2.

Hey, y'all already know who we are right? We're like two of the most popular guys at school. Or maybe the coolest. Or... ok forget I said that. We are just bestfriends, by day we do normal shirt together by some nights Scott is doing his wolf stuff and I try to help out as much as I can.

But recently sometihng has changed. Scott started to act more dominant. We spoke less and less. He is so focused on the pack and the dangers that might come, but that's not how Scott usually is. Also, what happened to Theo? He is always ten steps behind Scott like some sort of a servant and he even keeps looking at me. But not with his self-centered I AM BETTER THAN YOU look, but now he looks like he wants to tell me sometihng, like he is being punished. I'll try to talk to him, since Scott is distancing himself from me now. HE EVEN GOT A TATTOO. Without me! We were talking getting one and he didn't wait for me. Ok, maybe my dad would be against it, but I would resist. Maybe, for a while. Ok, I wouldn't dare, but you know. He could have said something.

I think I was getting really desperate. My best friend is not talking to me, everyone else would think the way that I do. I knew If I were in his pack he couldn't ignore me. But if my dad found out I was bitten someday, he would flip. Or maybe I would too. The first transformation must be horrible. Which is why I contacted one witch. She is not evil, but doesn't work for free. And I still didn't have an idea how to get Scott to talk to me, but she would know what to do. Wouldn't she?

We met up in the forest. She brough a box with her with all sorts of potions and equipment. She was a middle aged, very beautiful woman, nice hair, leather jacket.

"Hey. You're not the witch from Snow White I was expecting."

"Money" she said annoyed after my joke

I handed her the money. And started nervously: "Haha, sorry about that. I just get nervous handling illegal stuff in the dark with strangers. Not like I would do that, like ever. Not like drugs or anything. I don't do drugs..."

"You talk too much." She handed me a small vial of liquid. As I observed the vial, she touched my hand. "Do you even know, there's some magic in you? Are you so blind to everything around you, you don't even see whats in you?"

"I am a wizard?"

"No. You have some magic, but you're weak." she started packing her things and getting ready to leave.

"Wait, you didn't tell me what to do."

"Drink it to get close to who you want." she said mysteriously.

What does that even mean? I drank the whole vial and she just smiled at me. I hope that's a good sign. A smile from a witch. Sure

Suddenly a noise echoed through the forrest. That sounded like a howl. The witch was already running away from me.

In a minute Derek appeared behind me. "What the hell are you doing here?"

I was really surprised to see him, but also not. The wolves always protect the Beacon Hills so if there was a creature tresspassing, they would know. I tried to sound confident. "Well I could be asking you the same thing"

"Do you even know that the Dread doctors are in Beacon Hills?! Has no one told you they pose a threat, Stiles?!? They want to get to Scott and you are parading in a forrest doing god knows what."

"I was just... on a midnight walk. It's very healthy actually. You should try sometimes. But I guess you run a lot around the town during the night. Right. Anyway..."

"Stiles, shut the fuck up and let's go."

He touched my arm and then my whole world flipped. It must have happened really fast, but for us it felt like ages. I even think I saw Derek's aura? soul? I don't know. But those things switched places in our bodies. They positioned themself and after that I opened my eyes again.

I saw myself. Myself from Derek's eyes. As I looked down I saw Derek's muscles. Oh man, he's gonna kill me now.

"Stiles?!?" the expression of my face changed from my usual friendly approach to the one I might have had maybe the last time playing a video game. I didn't even know my face could do this.

"Yesss?" whoa. Did that vibrating manly voice just come out of me? That's so hot. I have to calm down before Derek notices I am not that mad about the situation as he is.

"What exactly have you been doing here? And I need you to tell me everything." haha. My body looks so funny when he's trying to look angry.

I told him how I felt about Scott, how the witch took the money and gave me the vial and how I drank it.

He laughed of frustration. "You fuckin' idiot. Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"The Dread Doctors were planning to swap you and Scott. You were suppose to go meet him after this, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Well of course. Our little stiles feels intimidated by Scott new ball drop and wants to be close, just to endanger the whole town in doing so. What would you do if you swapped with him? Would you manage being the Alpha? HUH? No, right. Didn't think so."

"Sorry, this wasn't the plan."

"Oh I know it wasn't. And it sure wasn't my plan to spend the evening fucking myself."

"WHAT?! WHAT do you mean?! Why should I.... YOU...WHAT?"

"Every magical thing has a twist. And maybe from every cheesy freaky friday movie you watch, you might understand, that the people that swap have to get close somehow, make up. They always have to 'learn a lesson', 'try to walk in each others shoes', but they all take the long way. The fastest way to swap is to know how the other one FEELS."

"Derek, I... I don't know if I want this."

"Well I sure as don't want this kid, but we don't have a choice now, do we? Now, get on your knees. I got places to be."

He came close to me and started unzipping my jeans.

"Hey that's my dick!"

"No, it's mine now. And if you don't want it to be like this forever, which I really don't, then SUCK IT!"

I have to say, that seeing my own body being so dominant was in some ways really hot. I lowered myself.

"I have never seen it from this angle. It looks really nice."

"Stiles. SUCK IT!"

I didn't want to bee yelled at anymore, but Derek's body seemed to react to it slightly. I liked the shaft first, grabbing the lower part of my dick and positioned my mouth over it. My beard over my lips slightly scratching the head of my dick seemed to cause sensation to him. I pushed the dick more and more. Damn, almost no gag reflex. Convenient. My dick is real nice I gotta say. Striaght, slightly hairy, nice balls. It's not one of the biggest out there, but it's not bad in the mouth.

I accelerated. He started moaning. I used my right hand to jerk the lower half and blow the top. I think I'm getting good at this. Maybe cause Derek now put his hand in my hair to hold onto something.

"So you like it huh?"

"DON'T STOP!"

I got back to it, accelerating even more until streams of cum released into my mouth. I swallowed.

"So? When do you think we're gonna swap?" I asked him

He hyperventilated from the orgasm. "I... I thought this would work actually."

"Well maybe we gotta fuck for real. Let's go to my place. My dad's on duty now.

We entered my room. I could see the post nut clarity in his eyes. Post nut clarity and desperation. Nothing I haven't seen before on my own face.

"Ok, Derek. The lube is in the drawers. There is a completely new one. I haven't had a chance to use it. Guess I still won't be the first one using it. Hahah."

"What do you mean?"

"You just came. My body isn't used to cum two times a in an hour, So if you can't do the math, I'll do it for you."

"We'll wait until your body's dick gets hard." he said indifferently

A wave of anger swept over me

"Listen here, Derek. You suggested this and I followed. Now it's your turn to obey and do what I tell you. You don't want to be stuck like this and these are your methods. So we're gonna fuck. And I will be on top. Understand?"

He just nodded. I could see the fear in his eyes. But also excitement. And what I really didn't expect a tent formed in his jeans. That little fucker likes to be dominated. He's just hiding it behind this facade.

I was horny, hell yeah I was. And I also wanted to enjoy being this buff for just a few minutes. I did some pull ups. It went so easily. His body is so amazing. Maybe I should hit the gym after we go back.

Derek just sat shirtless on the bed, watching me lift myself up and down.

I got near him. The sweat drops rolling over my muscles. I took his hand and positioned it on my belt. He unbuckled it. SHIIIT this dick is huge. No wonder when Derek is such a masculine man.

"SUCK IT!" I said just as he said before. Only now, my voice was more manlier than his. He obeyed me, he wanted me to feel good and ge was doing such a great job. I thrusted my hips into his mouth as he was sucking. He choked many time. My body's gag reflex made it worse for him. Take that, that's for before

I took off my pants and he took off his. He turned around and got in position for me to enter him. I took the lube, put some on my hand, then his ass. Then on my new dick. Fuck, it's my first time jerking his dick. And it feels so good. I don't think I want to swap. But if I get my hands on the vial, I could swap with anyone. It would be cool to know what it's like to be Theo. He has a beautiful body.

My mind got back from daydreaming to fucking again. My hard pulsating dick in my hand ready over my hairy ass. I pushed, slowly, gently. I waited for him to get used to it. He moaned like a little bitch. While I waited for him to enjoy the pain I grabbed his dick. He was just as hard as I was. I took my other hand and grabbed him under his neck and took him close to me. My other hand still on his dick, jerking him, my own dick thrusting into him. He moaned. I kissed his neck and bit him a bit. I could feel my wolf teeth come out. But no, not the time

I accelerated. Thrusting more into him and jerking him twice as before. He wasn't moaninf, he was screaming out of pleasure now. And then it hit. Both of us. Be came at the same time. I came into him and ha came all over my bed. We panted, my dick still inside of him slowly getting flacid.

I pulled out. Laying myself down and he did so next to me on the bed.

"Well, that didn't work."

We just looked at each other, both wondering what we were gonna do.

But hey, atleast I get to be part of the pack with Scott now.

A story from inbox that skipped a few others: Maybe a second part of the new alpha where stiles hires some witch to make him and derek swap bodies in order to improve the pack. Maybe even derek had a kink with being smaller and loves the new reality.

Sorry for taking so long, but don't worry. Your story is coming

Part 1:

#body swap #male body swap #body switch #teen wolf body swap

[alphajocklover]

I'm 23 and have been obsessed with body-building for years. I'm nowhere near big though. I'd love to be blown up into an absolutely massive freak. I wanna struggle to fit through door ways, I want furniture to bend under me. I want most guys I hit on to think I'm too big.

Please can you blow me up and grow me into the biggest bodybuilder possible.

It’s finally time for another one of my personal transformations. It’s been a little bit since I helped turn that guy into a bodybuilder jock with a supernova charged battery, but last time was so much fun I knew I had to do it again when the chance came up. I guess the only real question is what transformation method is right for you. I could always use the supernova battery again, or one of the other transformation methods I mentioned in my first personal transformation, but if I’m being honest part of the fun last time was sharing all the ways I could transform people. So how about we take a look at some of my newer transformation methods.

Your first choice is a CD. It’s a special video made for me by a local football coach who has recently introduced the Jock Studies program to his school. I reached out in the hope of getting an interview with him, and just got this in return. Not even a proper response. It’s… kind of an obvious trap too. I mean, I ask a bunch of people who are famous for turning people into submissive jocks to give me an interview, and they send me an unmarked CD? I mean, you can’t report on this kind of stuff like I do without someone trying to transform you eventually. I was actually kind of honored that they considered me enough trouble to target me… but not enough to actually watch the video. You can have the CD if you want. I’m absolutely certain you’d turn into a massive jock. Although you’d also be incredibly submissive to the coaches who made this, which might not be your jam. Let’s look at the others before you decide at least.

Your next option is a bit complicated. It’s a time machine, recently stolen from a group named the SAD (society against douchebags) by the Douchebag Revolution. I did a favor for them recently so they gave me this. Said they could trust me to use it responsibly. Well, sort of. The way they said it included a lot more ‘bros’ and ‘fuck yeahs’ but that was basically the gist. Anyways, we could use it to change you by changing your past. A little manipulation of your life and you could end up a bodybuilder. The thing is that time travel is… risky. Ever heard of the butterfly effect? That’s why I try to avoid time travel as much as possible. Too much can go wrong. Let’s move onto something else, since this one is so… unpredictable.

How about this one? It’s water from a familiar little town called Maxford, the one that turns anyone who enters it into a straight, conservative jock or bimbo. Turns out drinking water that’s bottled inside the town has similar effects. Turns you into your Maxford self for 24 hours. You wouldn’t believe what I had to go through to get this. Entering Maxford was an… interesting experience. Um, anyways, it might not be the best choice for you. It’s temporary, and it will turn you straight the entire time you’re a hunk. That can be fun to try, but I get the feeling you want something more permanent. Let’s look at something else

Finally is a specially made necklace, a gold chain with a miniature dumbbell pendant. It’s made by a jewelry store chain that might sound familiar to you if you’ve read some of my earlier stories: EB Jewelry. Normally these are pretty expensive, and you’d have to buy them directly from EB Jewelry, but there was a mistake with manufacturing and they ended up with a surplus of these things. I bought a ton of them and wouldn’t mind parting with one. Put it on and you’ll transform into a total bodybuilder jock. More than that, I can give you more than one. You can share them with your friends, make an entire group of bodybuilder jocks that barely fit through doors. Yeah, that one is definitely the best choice. Go ahead, try it on.

Fuck you look good. You seem quite a bit dimmer now, which is to be expected, but god you look like walking sex. Make sure to share those necklaces with your friends. Using more than one might have… side effects. Plus, the more huge jocks, the better.

#muscle growth tf #muscle tf #jock tf #jock transformation #jockification #nerd to jock #personal tf

[ghostbite0]

How do each of the Hashira react to one the 21 trio bawling their eyes out and inevitably making the other two cry, and who usually starts the crying chain reaction 😭

omg i love this ask. let me cook

they all kinda do the crying chain reaction, it really just depends on who is in baby mode at the time. obanai gets frightened, sanemi gets frustrated, and giyuu gets scared!

how they react…

gyomei: he tears up with them, but is always the one who can get them to calm down right away. he basically just scoops them up and cradles and hums a lullaby until the three settle down, and then he gives them lots of kisses and just sits with them for a while. hes very dad

tengen: five times out of ten he doesnt really know what to do aside from try to make them laugh. this always works for sanemi but its a pain trying to cheer obanai up without accidentally scaring him even more. he eventually learned he can distract them with the jewels on his headband or the paint on his nails. he will talk to them all the while and say stuff like “uncle tengen’s got you, so you have nothing to worry about!”

rengoku: insert several games of peekaboo and lots of hugs and kisses and tickles. each baby is different so he figures out different techniques for them. he loves the hug technique the most though!

he likes to ask what’s upsetting them; even if they cant exactly respond, he wants to show that he cares! he can usually decipher the baby babble and help them accordingly

mitsuri: LOTS OF KISSES. lots of coddling and cooing. “awwwh sweet babies its ok…!” she just bounces them and sings to them and gives them lots and lots of love. she showers them in compliments like “who’s the cutest baby! you are! yes you are!” sometimes her coddling just make giyuu and sanemi more hysterical. obanai likes the snuggles and how mitsuri talks

shinobu: she is a lot like gyomei in that she will just hum to them and rock them. she usually promises to do xyz for them if they settle down. she mainly focuses on getting them to breathe and settle down; she doesn’t want them getting sick… if she’s outside she’ll show them the pretty flowers and butterflies. if inside she grabs their stuffed animals and has them talk to the babies and dance for them

muichiro: “why are you crying” “what are you doing” “tomioka don’t join him” “okay well now you’re just being inconsiderate” … he’s super blunt while trying to cheer them up. “if you keep crying like that you will pass out” and etc . usually he looks for help because three crying babies is a lot

once hes more used to them and mellows out a bit he will do simple “shhh’s” and rock them, just like how gyomei taught him! obanai gets special treatment because he’s the favorite and most of the time he’s just scared, so muichiro understands (he was the same way when he was little) and he just holds him close and shields him

i saved this ask bc i wanted to draw it but i just dont have the time rn :( maybe in the future

#askbites #not artbites #demon slayer #tiny 21 trio au #deaging #demon slayer au #kny #kny au

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝟑: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏.

feel free to change pronouns / wording! potential spoilers!

" we have been apart for far too long. "

" seems as though your business is thriving. "

" there's no need to shout. "

" you've gotten rather good. "

" do you not wish to greet me? "

" i was nowhere and everywhere. "

" the lack of interest here today shall usher me to an early grave at any moment. "

" i simply could use some peace. "

" the truth has a way of rearing its ugly head. "

" i take it you are finally done with daydreaming? "

" do you find yourself back in town for any particular reason? in search of something or... someone? "

" i do not wish to see a citrus colour, ever again. "

" you have never been one for silly romances. "

" a man cannot tell his secrets. "

" i have kept your secret exactly because i do not wish to keep revisiting the past. "

" i must make a good impression. "

" i wonder what whistledown will write about next issue. "

" what a striking gown you have on. "

" i should like a moment alone. "

" once one finds oneself on the wall, it is difficult to come off it. "

" you do not much like attracting notice, do you? "

" it is a pity you did not choose something sturdier. "

" if you are going to make me say it out loud, i miss you. "

" what you did was cruel, and unnecessary. "

" i'm sorry for intruding. "

" it pains me to see you upset. "

" if a husband is what you seek, then... let me help you. "

" what i have learned is that charm can be taught. "

" i do love a game, especially when i am so often the victor. "

" i do not fear change, i embrace it. "

" i do not care what lady whistledown writes about me. "

" i should like to see your skills as they are, first. "

" i suggest you make good use of it. "

" you agree, i am unteachable. "

" you already know how to do this. "

" it is impossible to be in society and not care what others think. "

" do you think me a magician? "

" we needed a place to be alone. "

" you don't have to be embarrassed, you know me. "

" that's exactly why i will feel even more embarrassed, because i know you. "

" somehow my character gets lost between my heart and my mouth, and i find myself saying the wrong thing or more likely nothing at all. "

" your eyes are the most remarkable shade of blue. yet, somehow, they shine even brighter when you are kind. "

" your writing... it is very good. "

" they've taken to hunting in packs. "

" you know, whenever i have a disagreement with an acquaintance, i find the best course of action is simply to pretend they are dead. "

" talents? no. unless you consider a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time a talent. "

" now i can stuff my mouth with chocolates without fear of appearing impolite. "

" i do not much care for idle gossip. "

" i think i am somehow afraid i will do something wrong. "

" despite the cover of night, there are still eyes upon us all at all times. "

" what is foolish is being unreasonable about what you can achieve. "

" men can often cause much more trouble than they are worth. "

" i bribed her to give us a minute alone. "

" a small taste of the light can lead to that most dangerous of emotions: hope. "

" once hope is lost, a lady may become reckless. "

" would you kiss me? "

" i do not wish to die without ever having been kissed. "

" i apologise for the late hour, but i had to see you, immediately. "

" you occupy my every thought. "

" you slept late. "

" i slept peacefully. "

" a week sequestered in your room, and you come down and you say this to me? "

" i noticed you have not been seen in society for some time. "

" i would certainly rather be predator than prey. "

" i think i see a corner in which to hide myself. "

" you must simply follow your heart. "

" it is the mark of a good man, to help a friend in need. "

" unfortunately, i require all pity for myself. "

" i find your frankness immensely refreshing. "

" is there some reason you are trying to escape civilisation? "

" we can do whatever we want. "

" i have heard a great deal about you. "

" that was a thrilling distraction, was it not? "

" it was a good thing no one was injured. "

" a man can be pensive, can he not? "

" i am in awe of your heroism. "

" some cannot help being heroes. "

" in need of some quiet? i have been in search of it all night. "

" perhaps we can enjoy the silence together. "

" well, then you have misjudged me. "

" i am not afraid of you. "

" courage is within us all. "

" as long as we are honest with ourselves and about our feelings, it is possible to do anything. "

" the person i was earlier today... i was pretending to be someone i am not. "

" how many yous are there, exactly? and where do you hide them all? "

" i have come to call on you. "

" i do not wish to be called on. "

" step another pace backwards, you read me too well. "

" i do not wish to interfere. "

" i cannot have you growing distracted. "

" i do not mind a stirring tale or a book of fact but, in truth i find myself drawn back time and time again to stories of... love. "

" i do not believe i have ever had a friend call to the house before. "

" a gentleman must keep some things to himself. "

" do not tell me you are holding out for love. "

" love is make-believe. "

" do you know what is romantic? security. "

" i am grateful to you, for keeping me company. "

" past lives are dangerous places to revisit. "

" if you need to keep your distance from me a while, i understand. "

" you are unlike many people. "

" i do not feel much like talking. "

" i am not a man of many words. "

" my work has such a large portion of my heart it may be difficult to make more space. "

" i cannot stand by and watch you make a mistake. "

" the only mistake was me ever asking for your help in the first place. "

" it is said that the heart is forever making the head its fool. "

" will you please let us ride home in silence and leave me alone. "

" what if i did have feelings for you? "

" i have spent so long trying to feel less. "

" these past few weeks have been full of confounding feelings, feelings like a total inability to stop thinking about you. "

" do not say things you do not mean. "

" do you think anyone saw us? "

" are you going to marry me or not? "

#( sentence. ) #bridgerton rp #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #sentence starters #sentence meme #rp meme #rp starters #tv series #romance #drama

[thelaurenshippen]

open ai made a little post about how they chose their chatbot voices and two things stood out to me:

a) I am genuinely pleased and surprised that the voices come from specific real people that they hired and paid, rather than being built off of all of the data open ai has scraped. the voice for siri did one job for one company 20 years ago and now she is literally everywhere without ever being compensated by apple or even acknowledged as the voice. there's simply no way she was paid enough in that original job. whereas, open ai says "each actor receives compensation above top-of-market rates, and this will continue for as long as their voices are used in our products." this could mean literally anything (what market rate are we going above? does continue mean they get residuals or get paid for doing more sessions?) but, christ, at least the actors are doing it with full knowledge of what their voices are being used for and can decide for themselves if the compensation is enough

b) the post talks about working with "award-winning casting directors" to get the voices. first of all, yay for paying casting directors! we love to see it. but they also say the CDs received over 400 submissions in a week and they state that like a big number and it's just...not at all. and look, without knowing the intricacies of the casting process, it's hard to know what approach the CDs took - it's very possible they were selective from the jump and 400 is a lot from the pool they were tapping. 400 would be a lot if you were going to the agencies directly and asking for names, but there's just no way in hell open ai went after big stars for this. so it would've been a pool of unknowns. in which case, 400 is laughably small. even if you're not using the big casting sites like actorsaccess, I've worked on projects with CDs and their own internal systems where we've gotten over 100 submissions for a single role. I've posted roles on casting sites and received literally thousands of submissions in just a few days

look, I have a very limited perspective on this - I am not a casting director (imo, one of the most important and undervalued jobs in hollywood) and I, in fact, hate the process of casting with a passion. but 400 just seemed like such a tiny pool to pull from and, idk, it heartens me! it's heartening to think that there's very little interest from actors and agents to be doing this kind of stuff. and absolutely no shade to the actors who did--I want actors to get their bag however they want as long as it's, like, safe sane and consensual, you know? but there's something encouraging about thinking that open ai hired some big casting agency to get their foot into the voice acting door and people didn't come running

#ai #entertainment industry #lauren takes too long to say things #I am not anti-AI #mostly because I can tell when I've lost a war and need to figure out how to live with my new overlords lol #but also bc chat has genuinely been helpful for writing research! #(more in the sense that it helps me narrow down what I need to do real research on) #(bc the information it gives is often wrong) #but I am of COURSE concerned about how it's going to affect my industry #and if you've been following me for a while you probably saw my sag posting last summer during the strike #and given the contract sag got around AI #actors disinterest is THEE cudgel with which we will beat this stuff down #so the fact that the most popular AI company in the world had 400 people to choose from #is nice to my ears!!!! #(assuming of course that I'm correct about their process) #plus I'm just so RELIEVED that they actually hired people to do this #that's all that really matters - consent #if you're an actor and you give your voice to an AI company that will use it forever #as long as you KNOW that #and you have someone looking over a contract for you #more power to you!

[ganondoodle]

(new totk rewritten)

some a bit less structured ideas/current plans

im reusing the forgotten plateau as the tutorial area for the totk rewrite .... but its INSIDE; you get put there after the start by rauru and have to rebuild the bracelet thingy around his arm bc it got destroyed/damaged in the struggle with ganondorf and the bracelet thing is what has the abilities instead of just .. him? having it somehow? but also not for some reason? bc i find that more believable and lends itself well to gaining one after the other by putting its parts back together (it also feels a bit more controlled in a way, not everyone would have been allowed to have them back in his days)

consider it like .. raurus secret basement, as his castle was also put on the forgotten plateau (but not in the spot of the citadel of time bc wtf, and by now its gone like most else he built), with it being all underground and without a map you wouldnt even know where you are (also i find it to be in character; id imagine it was still called the cradle of hyrule even without the kingdom being there- and thats where he got the idea from to name his "new" kingdom 'hyrule'- not knowing that was its name before)

(as of now the addmittedly cool moment of first jumping down from the canon totk tutorial isnt included but that can still change also i personally think its pretty cool to have to climb all the way up to the sky before getting to explore it- plus the sky is mainly for shiekah stuff since they are so .. having to do with celestial stuff and the sonau in the rewrite are from the underground- though theres little actual sonau stuff left and the shiekah were there too bc its been a long ass time after all)

its not in great shape overall and some rooms have been discovered by the ancient shiekah in the past who studied the bracelet parts they found and use that research to make the stasis and bomb runes (at least), since im bringing back the bombs and the time reversal is what the stasis rune was based on- at the end of which you have to fight a miniboss monster sent after you by gan (bc he damn well knows where rauru would flee to) get your first heart container and are let go into the world

i know its way more strict and less free but it could be a big basement and honestly i dont think trying to copy the fantastic tutorial that is the forgotten plateau in botw is the best idea bc it will almost certainly feel like a worse copy, so id just go for something that doesnt chain itself to attempting to imitate it

(the final battle will also take place on the forgotten plateu, but after the switch and rauru starting to changing hyrule to what he wants it to be its lifted up and he brings his castle back on it- which will be a dungeon on its own)

(another more random thought, i do want the aesthetic of the sonau to be more like they were in botw, the ruins you can find in it are the ones from other sonau that survived on the surface without tech past rauru doing the whole thing with ganondorf and everthing but their numbers having been rather low and dwindling over time anyway- but perhaps rauru has a bit of a different idea, in part bc he is older and still attached to their older style that didnt evolve any further and ... it might just be his personal taste to some degree xD

which ALSO makes sense bc if there were other sonau still alive even after rauru did his thing, it would be logical that the remains of their ruins were in better shape (in the rewrite theres barely anything of sonau architecture left until the switch and rauru bringing it back)- they still lived there for quite some time after all- while the ones from rauru largely fell victim to time or to people intentionally getting rid of it bc surely not everyone was loyal to him)

(also an idea for the gerudo sage, there was one loyal to rauru who did do his bidding but in the temple thing she was supposed to wait for rauru was hunted down by 'koume and kotake' -which im not sure if i want them to be gans moms or his daughters bc i also like that idea, im still working with the totk canon thing of it being a new ganondorf btw bc it just works better for this scenario im working with atm- and they took her place guarding the stone hoping that gan would first return there -perhaps its like extra difficult and rather intentionally structured to be anti rauru in way, and less like gan having overtaken it- .. plus i like the idea of you being able to return there after the switch bc you could get a bit extra lore and story for gans background bc he surely wouldnt have wanted to find them there- he might not even have known they were there bc he never managed to break into this temple so the things that stop you in it when you first do it alongside rauru were all placed there by the two and not gan)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rewrites totk #tloz #loz #trying to get out of the art not working corner #so im working on the abilities #tho i had the idea with having the great plateau being the tutorial again but on the inside before #just didnt write it out i think #some people said they like reading these text posts even with no art for it yet so

[vaspider]

Hey, sending this off anon so you can answer privately if you wish. I'm really confused about the difference between being anti-Zionist and pro-Palestine. I've been using both interchangeably for myself, but apparently that's incorrect? I don't know who else to ask.

So... I haven't had anon on in like 12 years, I don't do private answers, and I don't talk about I/P online.

But let's talk about a different issue instead. Let's talk about reproductive rights instead, as a means of just talking about why being anti-Thing1 doesn't mean you're pro-Thing2.

(I swear to fuck if anyone comes onto this post and tries to say I made some sort of direct weird parallel between Israel and either of the examples below to try to 'prove' something about me or drag me into stuff I have said I don't talk about, I will yeet them into the fucking sun. The purpose of these examples is solely to use easily-understood references to explain how you can be anti-Thing1 without being pro-Thing2.)

If someone is anti-abortion, that doesn't mean they're pro-parenting or pro-baby. It's about where their focus is, right? Lots of people are just like 'well, we don't think abortions should exist. There should be no abortions.' Well, great. But what's your plan for the people who are pregnant and don't want to be? They're not going to stop existing just because you think abortions shouldn't exist.

But a lot of people who are anti-abortion don't have plans for that. All they have is a firm belief that abortions shouldn't exist. No one should need them, no one should want them, no one has a right to them. All other concerns go by the wayside.

Or the people who live around me who want homeless people off the streets, but have no plan for how to get people off the streets. They just say 'well, there shouldn't be any homeless people on the streets of Portland,' but their answer is fines and jail time. (This is a real thing happening where I live, btw. Fines for daytime camping, as if that's going to help people get off the streets. Now they have a fine they also can't pay with all of the money they don't have.) These people have no plans for affordable housing, they feel like it's perfectly acceptable to define someone as 'turning down' shelter even if that shelter requires you to be inside by 9 PM and the unhoused person doesn't don't get out of work until 11 PM. Their focus isn't on the positive thing -- people obtaining housing security -- it's on the thing they think shouldn't be happening: unhoused people where they have to see them/be inconvenienced by them.

You can be anti-abortion without being even remotely pro-parent or pro-baby. You can be anti-homelessness without being pro-housing security. It's all about what your actual focus is.

In this case, the question you have to ask yourself is: is it more important to me that to be anti-Zionist or to be pro-Palestine? I can't answer that question for you, because, like I said, I don't talk about I/P at all online, and -- more importantly -- it's going to completely depend on how you, personally, define Zionism, let alone anti-Zionism, and how you, personally, define being pro-Palestine.

You're gonna have to wrestle that one out on your own.

#non-rebloggable on purpose

[angelasscribbles]

All That She Wants Chapter 7: Now What?

Series: All That She Wants

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for this chapter: Liam x Olivia

Word Count:

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: faintest whiff of lemons

My other stuff: Master List.

Chapter is under the cut.

"Damn, that was good.” Olivia was still pinned against the shower wall, water cascading down her naked body as Liam pulsed inside her. Her nails raked across his shoulders. “But this isn’t what you summoned me to the palace for.”

“No, it isn’t. But it is a nice fringe benefit.” He smirked as he pulled out of her and lowered her to the ground.

Olivia made a noncommittal noise as she turned the water off and stepped out of the walk-in shower. She grabbed two towels from the warmer and tossed one at Liam before drying herself off. Wrapping herself in the plush robe hanging on the back of the door, she turned to face her lover expectantly. “Are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?”

“I thought we could discuss things over dinner. It should be here soon.” He opened the door and exited the bathroom.

The bedroom in the suite that was always reserved for House Nevrakis contained a dresser stocked with men’s clothing in the king’s size. He began dressing, humming happily to himself.

Olivia followed him. “I would prefer if you just tell me whatever it is. Is it about the annual budget for Lythikos? Because—”

“No, no, nothing like that!” He assured her as he pulled on a pair of pants. Noting her serious expression, he huffed out, “Fine. I’ll tell you now.”

“Please do.”

“Riley has given me two days to decide to either give her a baby or a divorce. I have a day left to decide.”

“Okay…” Olivia said carefully. “What does that have to do with me? If you want to keep your wife, give her a baby. If you don’t, then what’s the problem?”

Olivia’s face bore a mixture of horror, disbelief, and amusement. “Liam, you know all the reasons I said no to your proposal the first time.”

Liam gaped at her. How could she not see the obvious? “It has everything to do with you, with us! This is our chance to be together, Liv. For real this time! I’ll give her the divorce and then you and I can get married. No more hiding, no more pretending!”

“But this is different, Liv! I know you never wanted children, but I’ve already had them! You won’t have to—”

“I have nannies, Liv. And they have a mother. Riley won’t stop being their mom.”

She drew back as he stepped toward her. “You expect me to be a stepmother?”

Olivia shook her head vigorously back and forth. “I hope you didn’t call me here to make some sort of proposal. If you want to divorce your wife, be my guest. But I’m not replacing her.”

Olivia snorted with exasperation. “We’ve been over this. Your world comes with too many strings and obligations, for starters.”

“Why not?”

“You don’t want to be queen.”

“No. You know this.”

Liam sighed in frustration, but he wasn’t giving up. “There is a third option.”

“What is it?”

“Let someone else give her a baby.”

Olivia’s eyebrows shot up. “Would you even agree to that?”

“If I agree to it, we would go public with the Cordonian Arrangement. There’s no way around that. The mandatory paternity test would out us.”

Her eyebrows shot even higher. “That is not something I would expect you to do. You’re too conscious of your public image, decorum, tradition—”

“Generally, yes, but there is an upside here.”

“I’m listening.”

“If it’s public knowledge, then that frees me up to do what I want without the hiding and sneaking around. You and I can still be together publicly, Liv, even if you don’t want to marry me.”

She watched him warily. “Together how?”

“I could make you the official royal mistress.” He offered, his tone, facial expression, and body language implying that he believed this to be a boon.

She stifled a laugh. “Liam, that title comes with almost as much baggage as being queen.”

It also would require her to remain faithful to the king, giving up all other lovers, something she was not prepared to do.

His face fell. The romantic dinner he had planned was going completely sidewise, and the food hadn’t even arrived yet.

Olivia tried to disarm the situation. “I’m sure she’s bluffing, anyway. Riley is in love with you, Liam. She’s not going to get pregnant by someone else.”

He laughed humorlessly. “She’s already sleeping with Drake.”

“With Drake?” Olivia focused on him with an intensity he found a little uncomfortable. “He had a vasectomy. When he and I were an item. We both agreed—”

“He offered to reverse it for her.”

Anger rose like the tide inside him as he clocked her reaction. “He offered to reverse it for her. Why are you so upset? Do you still have feelings for him?”

Olivia felt like the floor had fallen out from under her. “He what?”

“What? No!” she scoffed, but her inability to look him directly in the eye told him everything he needed to know.

He tamped down his rage as best he could. He needed things clarified for him. “So, you won’t marry me if I get divorced, and you won’t be my official mistress if I don’t. Do you actually want any type of relationship with me at all, or have I been wasting my time all these years?”

She threw her hands up in the air as she stalked away from him. “Don’t be so fucking dramatic. I have always been crystal clear that our relationship is purely sexual. You know I have other lovers and I like it that way. I need my space and freedom, Liam. I don’t want to be tied down to any one person.”

“Unless it’s Drake, you mean.”

“Oh, for the love of God, stop it. I am not in love with Drake.”

Liam felt like he’d just been slapped. “Who said anything about love? I didn’t use that word, you did!”

“Stop trying to make this about me! This is about you and Riley! Why do you need my input to make this decision?”

“Because I love you and I thought you loved me back!” White hot fury mingled with wretched despair.

He had convinced himself they were star-crossed lovers, kept apart by circumstance. He had believed that if the universe aligned so that they could be together, then they would be together.

Olivia Nevrakis had just ripped his heart out for the second time in their lives.

He had been willing to throw his reputation to the wind for her. Willing to disregard public opinion and be the first monarch in Cordonian history to get a divorce. He had frozen out his wife, the woman that did love him, for a lie. A lie he’d told himself.

“I’m sorry, Liam. Maybe you should go.”

He gathered his things and left without another word. The walk back to the royal wing felt like a million miles as he contemplated the fact that Olivia was still in love with Drake.

He hated him for it.

Exacting any type of revenge seemed pointless. Drake hadn’t done it on purpose. He had, in fact, backed all the way off when Liam had asked him to.

He knew it wasn’t fair. Drake didn’t seem to return Olivia’s feelings, nor did he seem to be encouraging or leading her on in any way.

Still.

It rankled that the only reason the woman he loved didn’t love him back was because Drake Walker existed.

Olivia wasn’t aware of it, but Liam was the reason Drake had broken things off with her.

Maybe it was time to reconnect with his wife.

That fact didn't make him feel any better about the situation.

An emotion he wasn't proud of stirred in his chest.

If Liam couldn’t have the woman he wanted, why should Drake get the one he wanted?

#the royal romance #trr #the royal romance fanfic #angelasscribbles #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #choices stories you play #liam rys #olivia nevrakis

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi there!

I had some questions (or statements I wanted to discuss I’m not sure what to call them) because I genuinely don’t know much about the subject. I’m on anon right now but I may comment on my own account later. Also don’t feel obligated to answer if this makes you uncomfortable.

So I was wondering if you could articulate any thoughts on proshipping in the kotlc fandom? I wanted to know your thoughts as from my understanding (and please correct me if I’m wrong) you see it pretty positively, and I wanted to better understand the ‘issue’ (idk what to call it)

Anyways I thought I should include what I already know.

So I understand that when people participate in proshipping it does not reflect their actual worldview.

I understand that it is fictional and really doesn’t affect real life.

I think my issue with proshipping has to do specifically with it happening in the kotlc fandom, and this has to do with Keeper of the Lost Cities being a kids series. My problem isn’t specifically with that, but mostly with the amount of “kids” participating in our fandom space (not actual kids like ten year olds but from my understanding we have an array of people from ages 13-16 who I would consider pretty young)

I just worry about when people make posts about, for example, one of the main cast and an adult in the series, because the Keeper casts ages may closely reflect the actual ages of people in the fandom, we’re creating an unsafe environment and these posts may affect what these ‘kids’ think is okay in real life or for themselves.

Anyways, I wanted to share my thoughts but I really mean it when I say I want to hear your thoughts, I don’t think I know enough about the ‘issue’, especially from the other perspective.

(Also, this isn’t really about your call out post about call out posts, I’ve just seen you liking some pro shipper stuff so I thought you might be interested in that sort of thing)

Hi! Thank you for being respectful about this. First, I avoid labels like "anti" or "proship," as they tend to create an unhelpful us vs. them dichotomy. Especially when, like these terms, they have strong associations and generate strong reactions upfront. It's not, in my opinion, conducive to productive conversation

I believe that all fiction, including disgusting, depraved, uncomfortable fiction, should be allowed to exist without restriction. Whether that's incestuous, predatory, or otherwise.

We don't have to read/watch it. We don't have to like it. Or be comfortable with it. But it needs to be allowed to exist.

It's existence does not harm us (the most that happens is we realize, we are uncomfortable, and then we stop watching/reading/etc. and move on), and there is no way to reliably moderate fiction. It will always be arbitrary, and those arbitrary distinctions will always be enforced by the privileged with power, who will use it to create their narrative and silence others.

The issue many people get stuck on, like you, is about children. Now I'm not saying this is what you're doing, but I'd like to bring up the Think Of The Children logical fallacy. It's a more recent one, so it's less known, and I'm just linking the wikipedia.

What it does is switch to emotional thinking, creating this idea of these helpless little things in danger we need to protect. It creates moral panic, because what are you gonna do? Argue against the children? You monster! It can shut things down.

And while children are young and still learning and need guidance, they're also people. They have their own thoughts, reactions, and choices. They use their childhood to practice that, which is aided by fiction. Fiction is a practice run for the real thing; it can be that learning and guidance

Children take what they see in fiction, where no real people are hurt or in these scary situations, and react. They form opinions, determine what they think is right or wrong, and they have more room for error. For example, it is safer for them to misjudge an actually malicious adult in a story, learn what the warning signs were, and be more cautious going forward with no real life consequence than to make that mistake for the first time with a real person.

This is just a general overview. To specifically address this fandom and its ships, I'm going to start with this: when you were 14, did you think it was okay to date an adult? Did you ever see incestuous art/fic and start wondering if it was okay to date your sister?

Yes, consistent, repeated exposure of concepts from influential places can normalize them. Is that a genuine risk here, or what is happening? Have you seen it happen before on a wide enough scale to be generally applicable? I, of course, cannot speak for everyone, but I already knew those weren't okay by the time I joined the fandom at 13. Yes, 13 is young, but 13 year olds are capable of complex thought and reasoning. Their minds aren't going to be changed that easily, and a lot of them would probably resent the implication (even if unintentional, this is nothing against you) they couldn't figure it out for themselves. At least I would've

And more specific to keeper again: we have maybe a handful of these "weird" and "gross" ships/aus/etc. Posted by a number of people I could likely count on one hand, incredibly infrequently. This is a genuine invitation to think it through: what is that going to do?

Is that from enough places with enough power to normalize these ideas? Who is seeing it? How impressionable are they? Have they already formed ideas of right and wrong? Will this change that?

The conclusion I've come to is: 13 years old is young in the grand scheme of things, but at 13 years old you are capable of complex thought. I don't think the limited number of these "objectionable" topics and posters, which/who can be easily avoided, is going to normalize or make people think it's okay irl. It didn't happen with us, did it?

And I think, to some extent, limiting exposure or controlling media access takes away agency and choice, and that young people being able to experience difficult concepts in fiction before seeing them in real life is beneficial. This often then leads to "but what if they read something really icky they hate!" to which I say, kids aren't going to do things they don't want to. They won't watch movies, shows, or read books about things they're uncomfortable with or disinterested in. I simply put the book down and read something else.

And if they're being forced to, that's a different problem, and the solution is not to make sure the media doesn't exist or they can't access it.

This has been long, broad, sometimes specific, and more all in the attempt to be thorough. What it boils down to is: I don't think what you're worried about is going to happen, or is even slightly likely enough to genuinely plan for or worry about (not that you're unreasonable for worrying, though), and I don't think there's any trustworthy course of action that would separate the "good" from the "bad" and reliably, fairly decide who can see it and when.

I hope this helps answer your questions :). I'm happy to talk about it more, though I don't want to devolve into arguing, so if that starts to happen (with you or anyone else), I will likely end the conversation.

#kotlc #kotlc discourse #quil's queries #nonsie #also I hope it was clear none of this is intending to make it out like you're wrong or ridiculous #I think you have valid fears and concern for others #i just also think that in this instance. what you're worried about is very very unlikely. and as such #should not be used as a reference for how to act #among other things #i'm just trying to be very clear I mean this all incredibly polite and civilly

[itsgrimeytime]

he's such a pretty liar || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz @deadgirlrin

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Dialogue Prompts: 8 + 2

Inspiration: my boy by Billie Eilish

Summary: You and Rick had gotten along at some point, at the farm and prison. You were friends even. Until the Governor killed Hershel, which you believed to be perfectly preventable. Because of his inaction then, you'd gotten a bitter taste in your mouth at the thought of him and eventually, he started to reciprocate the behavior. But as time passes, and you experience more and more with him, is it really hate that you feel?

TWs: enemies to lovers (like fr though), yelling, mentions of death (Shane, Lori, Beth, and Hershel), mention of the Claimers scene, cursing, anger, nosebleed, bruising, love confessions, injuries, blood, and all things TWD.

[[A/N: This is based on Carl being mad at Rick after the prison. Rick do be stressed out, and he do be saying some terrible stuff, but like so are you. This gif is so 🫣💞🤭💞🤪. Anyway, enjoy :))) ]]

You weren't a bad person, and in that regard, you wouldn't say Rick was either. Honestly, you respected him as a leader -you just didn't agree with all his choices. That's where it all started, after all, isn't it?

You'd seen what a wrong choice could do, you'd watched Hershel die right in front of your eyes. You'd seen it all.

And, sure, maybe you were grieving a little but you still largely disagreed with Rick's actions on the matter. It was preventable.

It started there, and only really got worse. It was like once you identified one flaw, suddenly you were second-guessing his every move. The two of you couldn't be in a room without arguing, couldn't be put on shifts together, nothing. Daryl, for one, wouldn't let you be alone together at all. And if it wasn't him, it was someone else.

"Rick, seriously," you spoke once, almost sternly, "-that can't be your decision."

"Why?" he responded -pointed and short, "-Ya got a better idea? Go right fuckin' ahead."

You knew that since the prison, Rick had been strung thin. You knew that he had been harder on himself than you could ever be about Hershel. But, you still were angry. Sometimes, sometimes it felt like maybe he was just a target for everything that you'd been through. And you were trying to change your behavior, change your ways.

You'd known him for so long, and you were going to be stuck with him. The group, even though the two of you weren't on the best terms, was like family to you.

And then, it started getting personal.

This argument stemmed from something small, trivial, you can't even remember it now. Maybe a decision on a run? You can't-

"Ya act like ya ain't made mistakes of your own," he added, "-all high and damn mighty-"

"When did I say that?" You interrupted, more cold than anything, "-You're putting words in my mouth, Grimes."

"-Because I seem to remember ya tellin' me about your family," he continued, not even pausing to listen to you.

You stilled in place.

"Rick," you warned (voice slightly shaking), "-don't... don't go there."

Your family. At the beginning of all this, you'd froze -scared. Watched one of them get bitten, and then everyone just followed after -not willing to grieve. You regretted not being quicker, not being more aware, but you weren't used to it. You weren't-

"Ya fucked up," Rick continued, as if he wasn't bringing up what he was, "-We all do, why do you-"

"No, no," you shook your head, voice shaking, "-Rick, that is not fair. You can't bring up my family-"

You had hated yourself for that, hated yourself. Still did. You would never forgive yourself for not saving them, even though you really didn't have an idea how to then, you should have-

God, he was bringing this up? Really?

"-over a goddamn run strategy."

"Well, you pick apart every damn thing I do," he retorted, "-'Thought I'd do the same for once."

"Oh, fuck you, Rick," you seethed, tears burning the backs of your eyes, "-you want me to poke at your wounds? Talk about who you could've saved?"

He pursed his lips, and you saw something flash through his eyes (they were trailing the now shake of your hands) that looked a little like regret. Like maybe he was understanding what he said. You felt like your skin was on fire.

"Do you want me to start from the beginning?" You tsked, a fire burning in your chest, "-Shane? Or maybe Lori? Beth? Hershel-"

"Stop," he stated, quieter than before.

"-Why, Rick?" you hissed, and you felt the tears now, "-Is this not what we're talking about? Oh, do you not want me to bring that up? Over a run?"

"I get it," he spoke, softer, and something in you sharpened, "-I get it, Y/N."

"Do you?" you responded, frustrated and just... angry, "-Do you, Rick?"

"I shouldn't 'ave-"

"Can it," you interrupted -short, "-Let's just get the fucking supplies and go."

Rick frowned, blue eyes far more emotive (all you could see was regret and pity), "Y/N, I didn't-"

"You didn't what?" You countered, and your voice was cracking, "-You didn't mean to bring up the fact that I watched my family die, right in front of me? Do you think that I don't hate myself every day for not doing anything then?"

Rick didn't say a word.

"-Hate to break it to you, sheriff, but I fucking do."

"Y/N..." he trailed off, blue eyes much calmer, the rage from before dissipating out of his voice.

"No, just-" you cleared your throat, wiping mindlessly at your frustratingly red eyes, "-Let's get this shit done and leave."

From then on, it had been much deeper.

You couldn't stand him, you hadn't been alone with him since. He made your skin crawl and your mind flare up in anger, and sometimes, just sometimes, it would shake your respect for him. Because you did have some, you probably wouldn't even be here, if you didn't.

The funny thing about it all was that you were close to Carl, very close to him. At the prison, after Lori's death, you'd nearly been inseparable. It was kind of like a parent relationship, but at the same time a little like a friend. It made you want to reconcile sometimes, but all you and Rick did was clash.

So much that you started to wonder what a normal conversation was like with him.

And then, you had the run-in with the Claimers.

God, what they'd threatened to do to Carl? You personally would've snapped their spine yourself if you had the chance. But what Rick had done? You couldn't imagine it yourself.

But you knew that he did what he had to. And some part of you wanted to tell him that, despite... despite all of your problems, you knew he needed it.

It was late that night when you decided to talk to him. It was just the two of you awake. You, on purpose, and you just knew Rick would be. Doing that was probably still rattling through his skull, he probably couldn't even close his eyes without-

Your steps were slow and careful, trying not to startle him -he just seemed to be staring. Endlessly staring, and just pacing. Despite it all, you felt something in your chest swirl with worry.

"Rick?" you spoke, gently. Even still, you saw his whole body tense up.

"Please," he muttered, voice low and gravelly -blue eyes heavy on you, "-I don't need your shit right now. I kno' 'at I did somethin' bad, really damn bad. But I just can't deal wit' ya-"

"No, Rick," you interrupted, "-that's not why I'm... That's not what I want to say."

"What do ya want to say, then?"

"You made the right decision," you responded, tone sturdy and unmoving, "-you... you did what you had to."

Rick stilled, something flickering through his face -a flutter of emotions.

"I know, we aren't on the best terms, but-" you rolled your lip around your teeth, "-you're not a monster, Rick."

The silence was loud then, as his blue eyes skimmed over you -carefully. Maybe like he was seeing a new you, or maybe an old one he'd forgotten about. One you'd forgotten about.

"Trust me, I know it feels like it," you added (mind flashing with what you'd done over the years), "-but you did what you had to. You saved your son, and that's all that matters."

He didn't say anything for a moment, trying to process your words. And if you really looked, you might've seen his eyes fogging up a little and the slight drop of tension in his shoulders. A little like he was waiting for someone to tell him that.

And then, he replied, "Thank ya."

You pursed your lips a moment, fidgeting with your hands. You weren't sure what else to say. This was all so new. With a succinct nod, you moved to spin on your heel and lay down for the night.

"Wait," he called, and you turned back to him -eyes inquisitive.

There was a beat.

"-'At day, on the run," he continued, slow and regretful, "-I'm... I'm sorry. I never should 'ave said somethin' like 'at. I never should 'ave brought it up at all. 'Wasn't right of me to."

"Thanks, Rick," you responded, brief but genuine, grateful. You could tell he understood.

Before you could fully turn around though, he added -softer, with something you couldn't quite name, "Goodnight, Y/N."

There was a pleasant hum in your mind at the way he said your name, but you shoved it away. You'd locked all of that far away, a long time ago.

"Night, Grimes," you chimed back, lighter in tone.

He smiled at you then, and something in you gleamed a little from it. Not that you would ever say it out loud.

There was something different after that, a sort of trust or respect. Or maybe something else, you didn't really know. It was there, though.

When you found Alexandria, things shifted a little. Mostly because it was your group against another one, you and Rick were profoundly on the same side. That being said, you still clashed. You weren't sure if it was just the authority of it all, or what? (It might've had a little to do with a blonde wife that he was spending some time with, but you'd never say that out loud.)

"You're seriously not going to let me lead the run?"

"I got Daryl on it," he responded, eyes solely sat on you.

"He's been on all the runs lately," you continued, trying to explain your case, "-Shouldn't this shit be evenly distributed? Have you even talked to Daryl about what he wants? Or are you just assigning us like it's some dictatorship-"

"'Course I damn talked to 'im," he snapped back, and you could see something tired in his eyes, "-everybody gets a say in what 'ey're doin', ya know 'at."

"Except for me," you contradicted, "-you keep giving me the same fucking chores, when I'm useful in other places-"

And he was, he kept you in Alexandria -washing clothes, making dinner, keeping an eye on the people. He made you some kind of mediator between Deanna's people and your own. But you were useful, you shouldn't be locked inside like you couldn't handle yourself. Because you could, and you had before.

"-You know, I scavenged for months before I met you, right? I was alone, and I figured it out."

"I know 'at," he confirmed, pinching the bridge of his nose. You could nearly see the stress radiating off him, but you couldn't stop, not then.

"So, so what-" you asked, "-you don't trust me? You don't think I can do it?"

Rick sighed, big and loud -fully facing you, "It ain't 'at, Y/N. I know ya can handle yourself, I've seen it."

"Then, what is the problem, Grimes? I don't get it-"

"Just take the goddamn next run," he groaned, something in his tone broken (and something a little like guilt curled up in your stomach), "-I'll tell Daryl he's switchin'."

You stopped in place, words faltering off your lips. Your will and the fire in your gut extinguished, you suddenly felt very out of place, and a little like the bad guy. You knew you weren't though, but he just looked so tired-

"Okay," you finally responded, a little dumbfounded, "-thanks."

He nodded in your direction and didn't say a word. You took it as a motion to move along, so you did.

Apparently, he might've had a good reason to worry.

It wasn't that first run, or even the second or third, it was the fourth after that conversation that you were stupid. Well, it really wasn't your fault. You thought someone had your back, and they didn't; so, one of the walkers had clawed pretty deep into your arm.

It was bleeding a lot (maybe too much) and probably needed stitches, but you didn't worry about it. Denise could handle it, and you, as a community, were pretty good on medical supplies at this point.

What you didn't expect, was after Denise patched you up for one Rick Grimes to be on your ass.

You were still sitting in her doctor's space (you had no idea what to call it) then, silently trailing your fingers over the bandaging. You could already see some of the blood through the white of it. It made you a little nervous, you won't lie.

And then, the door swung open.

At first, you nearly grabbed for the knife you hid on you -alarmed, assuming it was someone coming to hurt you. Instead, you were met with one Rick Grimes -his face was all scrunched up in that way he always got when he was frustrated.

If there was one thing you could recognize, it was that.

"Rick?" you questioned -carefully, a little shocked by him bursting into the room. Did you do something to him recently?

"'At's why ya can't go on fuckin' runs," he grumbled out -suddenly so angry, it made your head spin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "What?"

"You're always makin' damn bad decisions," he continued, and something in you bristled. Your defenses were up in an instant.

"What the fuck, Rick?" you countered, "-You don't even know what happened, how the hell do you know it's on me?"

"You're injured," he clarified, a little like he was talking to himself, "-ya made a stupid mistake-"

"How the hell do you know that?" you hissed, "-Do you just think everything that goes wrong has to be my fucking fault, Grimes?"

"-and you're damn hurt."

There was something there in his tone, something different. Your frustration twisted into a little bit of curiosity. What was that?

"I can’t leave ya alone for one second without ya hurting yourself, can I?" He started up again, and it was there again, angry but also... but also-

Your eyes swam over him, and you recognized it then, worry. He was worried about you, you felt something in you stall. It was so different from what you knew from him-

"I mean," you responded, a little awkwardly -unsure (since when did he care so much?), "-I’m fine so it’s okay-"

"No, it’s not okay," he suddenly shot his eyes to you, blue eyes heavy with worry (so much, it shot to your core), "-Not when I feel like I’m goin' to go batshit fuckin' crazy, thinkin' you’ve hurt yourself."

It was silent for a moment, as your mind processed the words. Skimming along his face, as he seemed to do the same -frustration dissipating along his features.

That... That was new.

"It's just some scratches," you spoke -a little lost, you weren't sure exactly what to say. He cared about you that much? Thought about you that much?

Rick's eyes darted to the bandages, which were just about as dark as before -which was just a little, the stitches seemed to stop it mostly. Something in him relaxed, you could tell in his shoulders -the drop of the tension. You couldn't believe that was because of you. When-

"Ya had to get stitches, yeah?" He spoke, suddenly and a bit awkwardly too (like he wasn't sure what to do).

"I did," you confirmed, just looking and something in you felt like you needed to tell him more, so you did, "-Uh, five in one, and three in the other."

He pursed his lips (like he was debating something), before shattering out a breath, "Can I see it?"

"It's already wrapped up," you responded, blankly -you were running a little on autopilot, "-She already-"

"Denise can rewrap it," he offered, stepping closer. Something in your stomach stirred.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "You want to waste medical supplies, just so you can see my wound?"

Rick's lips pressed into a thin line, something in him firing back up, "I'll replace the supplies my damn self, if I 'ave to, just let me see."

You couldn't really say anything, it felt like all the words had washed from your head. Like you couldn't speak if your life was on the line.

He faltered a second, sighing, and his eyes shifted to something softer (a little like pleading), "I... I need to see if ya are alright."

You felt like you were stone -frozen.

"Please."

Your heart lept into your throat (and you let your mind drift somewhere you'd never let it before), "Yeah, okay."

That started the shift.

And he started checking over you after every run, you thought it would've been annoying but... you got used to it. And something in you liked helping him calm down, although you'd never say it out loud.

Things were a little different. You clashed but it wasn't as fiery anymore. Because you knew he cared about you, and somewhere you could acknowledge you cared about him. (More than you'd ever admit.)

This time it wasn't even Rick you were arguing with. It was someone originally from Alexandria. You couldn't even remember their name, but they'd said something about you and you let it slide. But then, they kept going.

"You made a shit call," the guy remarked, sauntering up to your side.

You were a little startled, but you stayed composed, "What are you talking about?"

"We could've gotten more supplies," he continued, "-that gun store was right there, and you called the whole fucking thing off."

You soured -something steeling in your gut, "You mean the one that was swarmed? Hate to break it to you, but we were outnumbered."

"We could've done it," he added -persistent, something frustrated in his tone, "-we had the manpower."

"Are you serious?" you laughed a little incredulously, "-There were three of us, and about 30, 40 maybe, walkers. That is-"

"Maybe you couldn't have done it," he tsked, lips falling in a flat line.

You flexed your jaw, trying to stay composed, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You're a sorry fucking excuse for a lead," he gritted through his teeth, "-You don't know shit about-"

"Next time, just go right ahead and do it yourself then," you shot back but stayed still in your space (composed, composed, composed), "-and I don't know about you, but I value life more than something we already fucking have-"

"It's ammunition," he seethed, stepping much closer to you -something sparking behind his eyes, "-Don't know if you fucking know this, but it's pretty damn important to survival-"

"No," you disagreed, voice calm and collected, "-it's not. You don't need to walk into a situation that you can't handle-"

Without warning, a fist flew at your face -right at the nose.

"Shit," you hissed, and you felt the thrum of pain under your skin and could almost immediately taste the coppery taste of blood, "-What the fuck? Why did you-"

"What the hell is goin' on 'ere?"

It was Rick, and his tone was something you'd only heard a few times -blue eyes flickering over you. They held onto your, now bleeding, nose which you were now trying to soothe, and something in his jaw tightened.

The guy was the first one to speak, mostly because you were trying to stop the bleeding. Luckily, Maggie rushed up to your side with paper towels -doing her best to help too.

"They made a mistake on the run-"

Rick didn't let him get far, "So, you punched 'em in the damn face?"

"Well," the guy fell quieter, "-we were arguing-"

Maggie snapped back, shifting her focus for a moment, "You were arguin'."

"No-"

"They were just trying to talk some sense into ya," she continued, tone cold, "-You were the one who took it personally-"

Rick put a hand on her shoulder, eyes flickering toward you -something swimming through them that you recognized from a different day, and Maggie took the notion to stop talking. She turned back to you, and gently guided you to tilt your head forward. On instinct, you pinched your nostrils shut -breathing out of your mouth.

"Even if it was a fuckin' argument," Rick tsked, something cold in his tone, "-there's no damn reason to do 'at. They weren't gettin' violent with ya-"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I kno' 'em," he retorted, "-an' if 'ey got their hands on ya, you wouldn't be standin' in front of me."

You laughed a little and could feel his eyes shoot to you for a second. It made something in your chest flutter, something you were trying desperately to ignore.

"We need to get ya some ice," Maggie spoke, mostly to herself, "-It's already bruisin' up pretty bad."

"'S leave 'is for another day," Rick seemed to exit the conversation with the man, tone unshakable, "-but if I 'ear anythin' else from ya, 'ere's gonna be a problem. Ya got 'at?"

You could almost visually see the way Rick shifted as he made his way over to you. Composure slipping into something more worried, eyebrows furrowing and eyes shining in an entirely different way. Like he couldn't help it, his hands frantically found themselves along your shoulders. It made your skin buzz a little, and made you feel a little woozy. Well, you guessed there could be more than one reason for that.

On that note, you stumbled in place a little, and Rick's hands immediately slid to your sides -stabilizing you. Your heart skipped a beat, stupid fucking handsome men with big fucking hands.

"'Ey, can ya bring a chair over 'ere, please?"

Before you could so much as blink, he was pushing you into it -gently, mind you. Ever-so-gently. And almost on instinct, he fell onto one knee in front of you, trying to hold your eye contact with your head slightly forward, you guessed. His eyes were the same as that day, but there was something else there too, something fuzzier.

"Maggie, ya go get the ice," he turned to her, "-I'll stay with 'em."

She seemed to scamper off because you could tell it was just the two of you. Maybe he'd warded off everyone else, Rick had this... aura to him when he wanted to -a dangerous one. Sometimes you thought it was to balance out his natural nature as a leader.

Quietly, you heard Rick tear off another paper towel and gently wipe at your mouth (where you imagined blood was staining at this point). It was strangely intimate, as you just skimmed over his face.

He was entirely focused on the task, so your eyes roamed along the creases along his face, the blue of his eyes, the sharp line of his nose, the little curls that peeked behind his ears-

You blinked, clearing your thoughts. He was always handsome, you knew that.

"What even is that dick's name?" you questioned, testing to see if your nose had stopped bleeding as much. It had.

Rick smiled a little, looking up at your eyes from where he was focused before (he seemed to be done), "I 'ave no fuckin' clue."

You laughed at that, and if you were honest with yourself thought you saw something shoot through his eyes. Something warm. You ignored it.

"'S hurt?" he spoke, softer.

You responded, simply, "I've had worse."

Rick smiled a little at that, but fell into something more serious, "So, yeah?"

"Like a bitch," you admitted, and he let out a low sort of chuckle.

It made something in you relax, something warm lighting up in your chest. You let yourself feel it this time, just once.

"Just so ya know," he interrupted your thought process, "-'at ain't happenin' again."

You frowned, furrowing your eyebrows -warmth dissipating, "Are you- Are you chastising me right now?"

"No," he quickly responded, but didn't explain further, "-'M just tellin' ya I ain't lettin' it happen again."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Rick paused a second, ripping another paper towel off and dabbing at your nose. It was probably still bleeding a little bit.

You just watched him, waiting for an explanation. Even though, you weren't entirely sure he was going to give you one.

"Anyone touches ya, says anythin' to ya, so much as looks at ya the wrong way-" he listed, tone deadly serious (it shook through your skull), "-ya come get me, and I’ll set 'em straight. Understand?"

Your mouth moved before you could stop it, "What?"

"I'll handle it," he repeated, pulling away the paper towel and locking eyes with yours, "-It ain't happenin' again."

"Rick," you laughed -incredulously, and maybe a little defensive, "-I don't need a fucking guard dog. I can handle myself."

"'Didn’t say 'at," he hummed, carefully, eyes skimming along your face -a little like he was in wonder (it made your head spin a second), "-'S for me, not ya."

"How does that-"

"If 'ey're fuckin' with ya, 'ey're fuckin' with me," he interrupted, eyes so solid that you couldn't really look away, "-you can handle it how ya want, but Imma 'ave some choice words of my own. So, send 'em my way too."

The words faltered in your throat, something swirling around your heart. He was just so-

The coppery taste again.

You shriveled up your nose in disgust, and Rick laughed at it (something gleaming in his eye), as you reacted -spitting the taste out into the dirt.

"Yeah, keep laughing, Grimes," you tsked, but there was no bite, not really. Not like there used to be, "-I'll beat the shit out of you."

"'Ere's no doubt in my mind," he retorted back, smiling in a way that crinkled at the eyes. You thought for a spare second it was a beautiful one, that maybe he was beautiful.

After that day, you'd say that everything was a little confusing.

These feelings towards Rick were far from new, very far. They'd always kind of been in the very back of your mind. Part of you was actually pretty sure that hating him had in some way distanced you from what you felt otherwise. Now, that is to say, you had definitely hated him at one point. That just didn't mean that it erased the... other thing.

You and Rick were off-kilter. Or at least you were. You guessed you couldn't say anything about him, he was very much a mystery to you at this point.

He just kept doing things. Like the scratch and nosebleed. And every time he'd smile at you a bit warmer, say something you couldn't really avoid. Not anymore. (And you weren't sure you wanted to avoid, honestly.)

And he'd looked at you a lot more, searched you out (when before you used to shun each other, avoid each other), and just smiled at you sometimes for no reason. The thing was you didn't mind it. You wanted him to. Because you... because it was all different.

You were confused, but you weren't going to be the one to encroach on it. It all felt so surreal, that one day something would happen and you'd just snap right back into place -just like before. To be fair, you still argued. But, it was moreso bickering now. And even if it wasn't, before you could get as heated as you used to, you compromised -easily.

You slotted together perfectly and bounced off each other with ease. Hell, he started coming to you about running Alexandria, about problems he couldn't quite get. And the two of you would talk until you worked out a solution. Because you always did.

It made no sense why you'd even clashed in the first place.

You were confused, beyond confused. And you wanted things, wanted to ask things, but they seemed dangerous. Far away-

That brought you here, on a night when you couldn't sleep. Which were more frequent nowadays, if you were completely honest. This whole situation made your mind run for a lot of different reasons, and when it wasn't that, it was nightmares. Alexandria was safe, you knew that, but it didn't necessarily stop your fight or flight -the urge to constantly be on edge, protect.

So, sometimes you sat here on the steps of your porch in the night -the chill and silence of it soothed you. It wouldn't always get you back to sleep, but it would make you feel better. Remind yourself that you're breathing. That you're alive.

You exhaled, trailing your finger along the wood of the railing beside you -absorbing the low buzz of bugs in the air and the strangely familiar groans of walkers outside the walls. It was kinda fucked up that it calmed you down, but you gave yourself a pass.

"Funny seein' ya 'ere."

Your eyes shot up and latched onto his.

The Grimes house was just a couple of houses down, diagonal to yours. So, you could see him, but not entirely clearly.

He was leaning on the porch railing, you could see the sleeves of his jacket against the starch white, and his hair seemed a little messy -your eyes trailed over a particular curl. It was hanging slightly down in front of his face. (You got the urge to fix it, comb it back into place.)

"'Could say the same to you, Grimes," you replied.

You saw him smile, dropping his head to look at the ground. It made something in your chest flutter. But, before you could say anything else, he was stepping down from his porch and making his way to you.

As he got closer you recognized that he was in pajamas with just a jacket thrown over.

He stood just at the bottom of the stairs, leaning onto the railing slightly and just looking at you. Like he always did these days. With worry and... something else.

"Nightmare?" he questioned, genuinely.

You rolled your lip around your teeth, deciding to say, "Kind of."

Rick's lips pressed into a frown, eyes glazing along your face (you didn't look back at him), "Can I sit?"

You were wordless, but moved slightly to the left (despite not really needing to) as unspoken acceptance. He stared at you for a second longer, before slowly but surely making his way to the steps. He sat closer to you than you thought he would've, but it was almost in character of him to do something that surprises you so.

"Ya cold?"

On cue, you shivered slightly, "I've had worse."

Rick let out a low sigh (he knew you well now), nudging off his jacket and hanging it squarely on your shoulders without hesitation. His eyes trailed over you wearing it for a moment, a small look in his eyes that you couldn't name. All shiny as his lips quirked up just a smidgen.

"You don't have to do that," you objected, but it was quiet and weak.

"I want to," he replied, simply.

You couldn't argue with that. Hell, you didn't think you could argue with him anymore-

Rick interrupted the thought, eyebrows furrowed in that kind of way you knew to be worried, "What do ya mean 'kinda'?"

You took a second, staring out into the night -listening to the silence.

"My mind won't stop," you clarified, "-sometimes it's... things I've done, and other times it's... things that I just can't seem to figure out."

"What's it today?"

You pursed your lips a minute, before answering, "Something I can't figure out."

He stared at you, blue eyes flickering along your face in a hazy sort of way. It made something unfurl in your chest that you'd tried to keep shoved down, "Is 'ere anythin' I can do to help?"

You ran the idea through your head a few times, and let your eyes match him a few more. You aren't entirely sure why, but talking to Rick fel a little like he'd never judge you. Even though he had before, it was... it was now. Things were very different.

"Can I ask you a question?" you spoke, then, deflecting a little.

"Shoot," he responded, almost instantly. ( A little like he'd do anything you'd ask.)

"What happened to us?"

Rick's eyebrows furrowed, and you took it as a motion to keep talking, to explain. So, you did.

"We used to-" you dropped your hands on your lap, and stared out into the Alexandrian streets, "-We used to scream at each other until our faces turned red. We couldn't stand each other, and now..."

"'At ain't a good thing?" he questioned, something in his tone a little disappointed (it made your head swirl a little), "-'At it changed, I mean."

"It is," you reassured, facing him a second, "-but I just... Isn't it confusing?"

Rick stayed silent a second, eyes smoothing along your face. Just looking, like maybe he thought you were beautiful (just like you did on that day), or maybe like he never wanted to forget what you looked like.

"No."

You pressed your lips together.

"Don't get me wrong," he clarified with a smile, "-I hated ya once, a long time ago. But 'is? Now? It makes sense."

You asked before you could think about it, "What is 'this'?"

He just stared at you a second, something flickering through his eyes, careful and considerate. Something warm. The warmth you kept seeing now, the one you tried to avoid.

"You," he answered, vaguely, "-Us."

"What does that mean?" you asked, your confusion was ever-so-clear. This was all things you didn't understand.

He didn't say anything, as you stared out into the streets -watching some of the porch lights flicker. The night sky was still dark, so you weren't really worried about the hour.

And then, you felt calloused fingers on your chin -guiding you back to his eyes. The thoughts cleared out of your head.

"Y/N, you drive me fuckin' crazy," he laughed a little, and you felt your eyebrows furrow, "-not just in a frustratin' sorta way. You... I worry about ya like crazy, I think of ya like crazy... I care 'bout ya like crazy-"

Your heart skipped a beat.

"-an' I... I love ya like crazy."

Your lips felt stitched shut, as he just smiled at you -something in his eyes that you could see now. You could identify.

"Ya poke and prod at me until I'm reelin', yeah, but-" he pressed his lips together, eyes shimmering across your face, "-I wouldn't 'ave it any other fuckin' way. An' I mean 'at. I just... I'm not me without ya annoyin' the shit out of me. Without ya callin' me out on my shit."

You laughed, something burning the backs of your eyes, "I am the only one who would do that, huh?"

"Ya are," he grinned at you, and you felt something in your chest squeeze tight.

It felt clear then, abundantly clear.

"I love you too, Grimes."

He grinned, the big kind that crinkled at the eyes, "Thought so."

You rolled your eyes, with no bite, "Oh shut up, sheriff. I could still kick your ass, and you would deserve it."

He laughed, the genuine kind -hand coming to cradle your cheek, "Still, don't doubt it, sweetheart."

You smiled, and noticed just how close the two of you were. He only seemed to be roaming closer, and it made your heartbeat pick up in your chest a little. Before you could stop it, your eyes dipped down to his lips.

He grinned again, the kind that rattle down to your core, all handsome and shiny white teeth. And then, he started moving closer, his own eyes dipping to your lips.

"Ya kno', I can think of a way to get me to shut up."

"Can you?" you teased, quiet between the two of you.

He just hummed, distracted. It made something in your stomach stir.

"I am pretty desperate for you to," you remarked -playfully.

Rick busted into laughter, a loud kind that you barely ever heard from him. It made something in your chest shimmer, proud. You kind of wanted to hear that forever. And now, maybe you could.

The thought made you grin, as you leaned forward, impatiently, and connected your lips to his. It was just a press of lips, but you did feel him lean into it. Before you could get far, he laughed even more, breaking off the kiss, and it made you laugh.

"'Course ya can't wait for one second," he chuckled -playfully, "-You've always been so damn impatient."

"Oh, fuck you, Grimes," you laughed into the night, "-You're lucky I don't-"

And this time, he shut you up.

#its griming time #rick grimes #stuff n' thangs #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x y/n fanfiction #twd #twd rick grimes #rick grimes fanfiction #he's such a pretty liar

[subsystems]

Do you have any tips for system mapping as a polyfragmented system? Every time we've tried to make one we've just gotten overwhelmed by how many parts there are and how much we don't know

Hi anon! I have some advice based off of my own experience. I hope it will work for you (I'm sorry if it doesn't, though). First, I want to stress that it's okay if you can't create a perfect system map. I've never been able to make one that felt 100% correct, and I've tried many times!

Being dissociative can make it quite difficult to understand what's going on internally. You might have a hard time understanding yourself as an individual part, let alone understanding the other parts in your system. On top of that, your system might have some complex inner organization, like subsystems or parts-within-parts. Don't even get me started on how amnesia can make this all even more confusing, too!

So, remember to cut yourself some slack when it comes to system mapping. Your struggles with it are completely understandable!

Tips for System Mapping When Your System is Confusing as Hell

Make your own template.

A lot of pre-made system mapping templates contain things that don't apply to everyone, aren't important to everyone, or not everyone knows enough about their parts to answer. Some designs might not fit how your system functions. So, if pre-made templates don't work for you...don't use them! Try making your own!

When it comes to your own template, I think it's important to be mindful of your current stage of recovery. If you don't know a lot of things about your parts, that's okay -- that's where you're at in your recovery right now. In that case, you probably shouldn't create a template that requires you to write down a ton of information. Allow yourself to include your confusion and questions into your system map!

Think about what you want to keep track of when it comes to your parts. What would be the most useful things for you and your therapist to know? Yours will probably look different but here was the template that I settled on:

Does the part have a name?

Do they feel younger or older than the body?

What are they associated with?

Anything else?

And here's an example of how I would fill this out:

Does the part have a name? I don't think so

Do they feel younger or older than the body? Much younger

What are they associated with? The color yellow, puppies, childhood, abandonment, crying

Anything else? Likes puppies and drawing, sometimes buys candy without our knowing, unsure if this is one part or actually several

Get messy with it.

I understand the desire to have a neat system map. I've always wanted to have a perfect list of all my parts, all the important details about them, maybe organized into some sort of chart too. But these things doesn't always capture the complexities of being dissociative and having parts. Sometimes, you got to get messy.

I feel like the closest I ever came to a system map that felt the most "right" was in my therapist's sand tray. I picked out different figurines to represent my parts, placing some closer together than others. I would also move the sand, making big and low hills beneath and between parts, burying some things, cutting lines around other things. Something like this picture, but way more chaotic:

You can do this at home. You don't even need sand or figurines. You could grab some objects from around the house or outside, print or cut out pictures, grab some paints, scribble on paper, sculpt something out of clay, etc. Pick out something to represent certain parts or feelings or situations. Place them wherever, move them however, just let it kind of unfold naturally. Then take a picture of it and/or write about it (so you don't forget)!

Maybe put the trauma stuff somewhere else.

You'll probably feel tempted to record trauma memories and triggers associated with parts -- but it's probably best to write that stuff down somewhere else! You want your system map to be something that all parts can look at. Try not to jump-scare them with trauma that they may or may not know about yet.

This won't apply to everyone but, in my own experience, including stuff like this in our system map triggered our avoidance. Not only did it make creating the system map harder, it also resulted in some parts destroying/hiding what we wrote as a way to protect themselves and other vulnerable parts.

Aaand that's all I have to say, I think. Good luck with your system mapping, anon! - Sunflower

#actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #actuallypolyfragmented #actuallytraumagenic #actuallydissociative #actuallycdd #complex dissociative disorder #system mapping #did support #sunflower posts