#Aries really is a himbo

[venuscnjunctpluto]

Astrology Observation pt. 2

(Thank y’all for all the support on my first one❤️🙌🏾)

*as a sag Venus sag mars pls stop asking me why I’m laughing…I’m not laughing at YOU I’m just insane😝

*moon in the 1st synastry is so therapeutic you just feel really comfortable opening up to the 1st house person and as the 1st house person I feel honored someone trusts me enough to share their feelings🫶🏾

*people w aqua and libra in their big three are the chillest mfs you’ll ever meet. Even though I’m very chaotic anytime someone describes me “chill” just seems to be thrown in there. We space out ALOT and it’s honestly embarrassing😭 Ex: Alicia keys, lil Wayne, Harry styles, Rosalia. Harry gives such himbo energy in interviews and they drag him for it in the comments but he’s probably just thinking about multiple things at once. Alicia keys didn’t even realize lil mama was on that stage and went on performing lol. Obviously lil Wayne smokes but something about his energy…he’s on cloud 9. And just go watch Rosalia’s chicken shop episode💕😂.

*honestly Aries mars aren’t that bad when it comes to temper because usually they find ways to manage it. Now mars-Uranus aspects is a completely different story. I have late mars-Uranus and it takes me a while to get mad but when I do I can’t even think anymore. My old roomie had a tight square and she would blow up on people for no actual reason like girl sit down😭

*something about Scorpio mars men is just😮‍💨 they have such a sneaky energy to them that makes them stand out. Virgo mars are fine too they’re just so skinny and no matter wtf they do they’re always nerdy ugh (ex: Matthew gray gubler, Lucky daye, Dylan O’Brien, Jeff Buckley)

*i noticed Aries moon don’t really get along w each other. They find their own energy to be too mf much (which it can be) so they prefer being around more calmer people *coughs* libra moons like me. They wanna be bouncing off the walls 🤪 while their friend is just like 🙂.

* fire risings do a lot of things fast. As an Aries rising, I walk fast, get happy fast, eat fast, workout fast. My cousin is complaining her sag rising toddler eats and drinks way too fast.

*venus in 11th…how many tiktok drafts do y’all got😭

*i talked to this guy who had similar placements as me (Venus in 8th and moon in 6th plus Aquarius and Aries placements) It was so chaotic it was literally us going back and forth obsessing over eachother while trying to keep it lowkey. But also the amount of anxiety we are naturally incline to have made the whole situation too mf much.

*i have mercury conjunct my friends mars and for years she tells me the things I say can take people there and make them wanna fight me. It’s in Capricorn and so I was confused before I knew we had that aspect

* i noticed rappers whose lines always stick out to me have Gemini mars or mercury- mars (central cee, king von, tupac, kendrick , j. cole)

*i was talking to this guy and I had Venus and mars plus pluto in his 4th house. Months after we stopped talking our friend groups meshed and he would tell me non-stop I reminded him of his mother. He said she was the same height as me and y’all I was scared to ask what she looked like cause 😫 y’all remember that episode of family guy when Chris dated that girl that looked like Lois yep 4th house synastry.

*im a true crime whore and two women who killed their bfs had sun-Uranus aspects. Their energy was erratic and very off putting in videos. I can’t remember the other one but Courtney tailor/clenney was one.

* More spilling my business on the Internet😍 i think I’m done entertaining people my age. Pluto in the 8th, Lilith in 1st, and Venus conjunct Pluto synastry has been hell. Where’s my sugar daddy/mama?? It’s ghetto out here

*gemini Lilith generation whose a year younger than me is nasty asf😭 esp the tauruses they have their Lilith conjunct their Gemini Venus and opposite their Pluto. One said he had a slept w two girls at separate times. He didn’t know they met until the girls posted a selfie together and tagged him. They later told him they wanted a threesome and he did it😭 knowing astrology I believed every word

* sidebar Neptune-asc people and trying to give off innocent vibes ugh annoying asf to me. I can see right through their bs but they’re able to fool most people.

* mercury-Pluto aspects are in fact LIARS and throw a Scorpio placement in there😮‍💨

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #sag mars #harry styles #aries mars #virgo mars

[the-iceni-bitch]

How Sweet it is When You Steal It

Kinktober Day IV: Stepcest

Pairing: himbo!stepbrother Jake Jensen x kinda gray!stepsister reader

Words: ~2.1k

Summary: Jake can’t take a hint.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (lots of teasing, fingering, handjob, unprotected vaginal sex, shower sex, cream pie), Jake is awkward and adorable and so dumb, bug smooshing, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: He’s so cute and stupid, I wuv him!!

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!!

“Hi Jakey!”

“Hi pumpki-in.” Jake almost swallowed his tongue when he looked up to greet you and choked at the sight of you in your adorable little cheerleader outfit, wishing he could curse as an unbelievable amount of lewd teasing started coming through his headset. “How was the game?”

“Oh shit, the cheerleader uniform?” He was going to kill all of them the next time he saw them, but Colin was definitely going first. “Take a fucking picture, Jay. How short is the skirt? Like, does she have to bend over at all for you to see panties?”

“Shut up, asshole.” Jake snarled into his mic as he tried to smile at you, whimpering when you opened the fridge and bent over so he got a full view of the panties all the guys were so interested in.

“It was good, we won!” You practically skipped over to the couch and sat on the back of it right next to his head, like, he wouldn’t even have to stretch if he wanted to nibble on your thigh. “How is your game going?”

“Tell her it was going fine until your cocktease of a stepsister showed up, Jensen.” And Drysdale was next, he was going to get creative with it too. “For fuck’s sake man, just let her suck your cock like she’s so obviously creamy for so we can quit having all these interruptions.”

“It’s good, we’ve done this run before.” He sucked in a harsh breath when you swung one leg over the back of the couch so your cotton covered pussy was right in front of his face, but that was a bad idea because then the scent of you was filling his lungs and Paul was asking if this was better or worse than the time you’d crawled into his lap wearing nothing but your panties and sleep cami while you watched a scary movie and he wanted to die. “Sorry I missed it. You wanna go get some food?”

“No, I’m all sweaty, I’m gonna go take a shower.” Jake was so happy you couldn’t hear all the suggestions his friends were making about exactly what he should feed you, and really hoped that the heat in his face didn’t mean he was beet red when you hopped off the couch and stretched. “But maybe we can order some Korean or something when I’m done?”

“Yeah, okay.” The way his voice cracked at the end of his sentence when you pulled your top off in full view of him was painful, and then he almost wrenched his neck snapping his vision away from you so he didn’t see anything while the idiots in his headset speculated about what exactly you were doing to torture him now. “All of you shut up! You’re so goddamn stupid, let just do this run.”

“You’re the stupid one, Jensen.” Lance could fuck right off. “Your little pumpkin stepsister is basically presenting her pussy to you on a silver platter and you’re too chickenshit to do anything about it.”

“Yeah, she’s my stepsister, asshole.” He took a long gulp of his slurpee to try to calm down. “She’s not presenting her… herself to me, you’re all just perverts.”

“Oh, she’s not?” Fucking Andy now, his kill list was getting long. “Let’s review; we already mentioned the almost naked lap sitting. There’s also the constant asking if she’s not wearing enough to go out in public, her begging to sleep in your bed because of thunderstorms, the seeming inability to go without touching you for more than ten seconds in the same room, oh that very unsisterly kiss she gave you at the Christmas party last year that she justified with mistletoe. Did I miss anything?”

“The masturbating.” Jake hated that he could hear Ari’s amusement when he growled over the headset.

“Ah yes, the masturbating! Do you think she bought the loudest vibrator on the planet on purpose, Jake? Or that she really can’t help but moan and pant and sob like a damn pornstar when she knows you’re in the next room?”

Jake was about to tell them all they could fuck each other when he heard you shriek, cursing when he spilled his slurpee all over himself as he rose to his feet in a rush as he ripped off the headset before charging towards the bathroom. He almost tore the door off the hinges when you screamed again, his eyes wild when he saw you cowering in the corner completely naked but barely registered it.

“What? What the fuck happened?” He couldn’t keep his eyes in one place as he tried to figure out what had made you scream like that. “Are you hurt!?”

“There’s a spider…spider!” You pointed towards the bathtub and yelped when he ripped the shower curtain open. “It’s so big, and it jumped! Kill it, Jakey!”

Normally Jake would have just scooped the thing up with a newspaper and taken it outside, but you were damn near hysterical. So he apologized under his breath before grabbing some toilet paper and smooshing the dime sized house spider that had the misfortune of terrifying you, then flushed his victim down the toilet.

“You scared the shit out of me, pumpkin, I thought someone came in the wind… fuck.” He suddenly realized how very naked you were, naked and curvy and smooth and very close to him in his tiny bathroom. “I’ll leave you to it, then!”

“You’re my hero, Jakey! Wait!” You stepped in front of the door when he tried to leave, biting your lip and batting your eyelashes at him as you stepped even closer to him and sighed softly. “You’re all sticky, we need to get you out of these clothes.”

“Wha-what?!” This was so bad, your parents were going to kill him, he still didn’t stop you when you started to peel his shirt over his head, just swallowing thickly and raising his arms to help you out while he mumbled stupidly. “I spilled my slurpee.”

“Oh no.” So, so bad, but your fingers felt so nice trailing over his skin before you started to undo his jeans. “And it soaked through, let’s get you in the shower.”

“Okay.” He was in shock, that was it, he just let you pull him after you as you turned on the water. “Together?”

“Mmhm.” God, now you were wet and lathering up your hands and maybe he was dead? Maybe he had slipped when he ran into the bathroom and cracked his skull open and he was dead. He couldn’t decide if he was in heaven or hell though. “We’ll save water.”

“That’s good.” Your hands were on him and he decided it was heaven. “Responsible.”

“It sure is, we’ll get so much cleaner too, help each other get to those hard to reach places.” Fuck, you were getting lower and he was pretty sure he was about to bust like a virgin. “Mmm, you’re so big, Jakey, you want me to help?”

“Yes. Oh fuck.” He groaned when you wrapped your soapy hands around his achingly hard dick and started stroking, choking your grip under his tip and stepping closer so you could rub your nose over his throat. “God, that feels good.”

“Good, I just want you to feel good, Jakey.” You whined as you nibbled at his jaw, looking at him with big pleading eyes that he wanted to fall into. “Don’t you want me to feel good? Want to help me get those hard to reach spots clean?”

“If you need me to.” He only hesitated for a second before soaping up his own hands and sliding one down between your legs, groaning when he slipped a finger between your warm pussy lips and felt you throb for him. “I’ll get you so clean.”

“I know you will, oh Jake.” You tilted your head back and whimpered when he found your clit, stroking him faster as he petted your cunt while his other hand rested on your waist. “My tits need to get clean too, Jakey.”

He was pretty sure he was going to do whatever you wanted him to do from this moment forward, ducking to press his lips to yours and groan as the hand that wasn’t circling your swollen clit came up to gently cup your tit. You were so soft, and your kiss tasted so sweet, and he didn’t even care that his friends were going to give him all kinds of shit if they ever found out about this.

“Jake, oh! I want you inside me.” You nibbled on his bottom lip as you begged him, smiling when he practically sobbed into your mouth when he felt warm cream from your cunt gush all over his fingers. “Don’t you want it, Jakey? It’s so good, my pussy is so tight and soft and warm, I know you’ve thought about it, seen how hard you get when I do my stretches or cuddle with you. Please fuck my little pussy, I want it.”

And that broke him, a tortured growl leaving his lips before he turned you around and pressed your body against the cool tile of the shower. He just grabbed your ass cheeks and spread you open then shoved his cock inside you, tucking his face into your shoulder and groaning at how fucking tight you were before he started rutting into you wildly.

“God, yes! Oh god, fuck my little pussy, Jakey. Just like that, so fucking deep.” You whined when he wrapped a hand around your throat and tilted your head back so he could smash his lips to yours, gasping every time his hips smacked against your ass as your cunt clenched around him. “Tell me how good it feels, Jake. How you’re gonna fuck my tiny hungry pussy like it’s never been fucked. You gonna beat my pussy up, Jakey?”

“Shit, yeah. Gonna fuck this pussy so good.” He couldn’t even make himself care anymore, smacking your ass and growling when you yelped into his mouth. “Yeah, you fucking love that, don’t you? Pussy so fucking tight.”

“I do, I love it, want you to tear my pussy up, Jakey, ruin me.” You whined when he ducked to bite your neck, your eyes fluttering closed when he squeezed your throat tighter and slapped your ass as your whole body shook. “Right there, oh fuck, Jake. You’re fucking my pussy soooo good, gonna make me squirt all over that big dick. Make it your pussy.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, pumpkin.” If he wasn’t already dead you were going to kill him for sure. “It’s my fucking pussy, now make her come for me.”

You screamed when he drove into you harder and his balls slapped against your clit, sagging in his grip and squirting all over him while you spasmed violently through your orgasm. He couldn’t stop moving though, still thrusting his cock into your fluttering cunt mindlessly while you whined and arched your back so he could keep hitting that perfect spot even though you were on the verge of collapse.

“Come in your pussy, please, Jakey. Fill your fucking pussy, do it. Oh fuck, fill it, please…” you were babbling but he loved it, moving his lips back to yours and swallowing your noises greedily as he snarled.

“Gonna do it, keep my pussy full all the fucking time.” He felt the muscles of his core growing tight and growled into your mouth. “You want it, don’t you? Wanna walk around with my cum dribbling out of this pretty little cunt every damn day?”

“Yeah, I want it, Jake.” You could feel him starting to lose it and rose on your tiptoes as you whimpered. “Need it, need your cum. Give it to me.”

Jake practically lifted you off the ground when his orgasm ripped through his body, hooking your knee over his elbow so he could hold you open as his hips jerked against your ass while he pumped you full of his thick, warm cum. You mewled and keened as your pussy milked him dry, letting him bounce you on his cock and bite your lips as he emptied himself into you.

“Jesus fuck, pumpkin.” He kept cradling you in his arms even after he was finished, rubbing his nose against yours and breathing heavily as he let the warm water wash over the two of you. “I really am a fucking idiot.”

“Just a little.” You grinned and bit your lip as you gazed at him, sighing when he slid out of you as he held you close. “But it’s okay, I like himbos. Why don’t we finish up and then I’ll suck your dick while you play CoD.”

#natalie writes #natalie’s kinktober 2022 #kinktober 2022 #jake jensen #jake jensen x fem!reader #jake jensen x y/n #jake jensen x you #jake jensen one shot #jake jensen smut #jake jensen x reader #chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans character #tw stepcest #eighteen and over #eighteen plus

[saturngoldenchild]

Astrology observations

Kind of?? Half of it is just me talking about placements I find attractive

- Pluto/Scorpio in the tenth or first house tend to attract people who are really obsessive. I’m talking like stalker type shit.

- QUICK QUESTION :) to Venus in the 12th. Have y’all had people you haven’t talked to in a long time suddenly tell you they liked you time after??????? Shit is annoying

- Anyways… Cancer men you’re on a time out. They tend to sweet talk people until they get comfortable and start cussing people out for minor mistakes.

- Earth signs always find each other like what is it?? Do we only like each other?? I mean…..if any of you are looking for a Capricorn sun friend my house address is…..

- Venus in Aries… babe let’s have a talk😭 I love ur boldness with flirting I do BUT U DONT NEED TO FLIRT WITH ALL THAT BREATHS…just to loose interest 5 minutes too

- Prominent Virgo and Gemini placements…SO ABOUT MY HOUSE ADRESS

No but really y’all are so responsible and smart and capable but so fucking funny. it’s a perfect combination, I fear.

- Leo moons are the top tier Leo placement for me. Maybe cause my moon is at the 17th degree but shhh. You guys love like no other honestly, very attentive of those you love. Your personality is so charming like hhfrcbjgdddcvh.

- ANYWAYS… enough simping

- Virgo moon singers… their music makes your chest hurt. Let me give some examples…Fiona apple, Agust D, Lorde. See what I’m saying now??

- My undying love for Taurus moons…OKAY BACK TO SIMPING. Bro y’all truly have the purest hearts, I feel nothing y’all do comes from malicious intend. Although this is an earth moon out of all I think y’all manage ur emotions the best, make sure to not repress them even though that depends on the house it is in. Your honor, i fear Taurus placements are perfect. It’s just that possessive nature we gotta work on babe. They’re sweethearts but let them see their loved ones lovey dovey with other people ooooof. It’s not an issue for me 👀 I MEAN WHAT-

- On that note, Aries moons…. Now this is a placement I’m a maid for. Idk maybe it’s cause my moon is in the first house but omfg y’all are another type of fine. the moon influences how we look so much and you guys won. Ex. RIHANNA BRO, Kim Taehyung, Salma Hayek

- Every Virgo I have met paints. And they’re so good too, maybe I haven’t been paying attention but lmk. Either that or they just love art/collecting pieces.

- Lots of Aquarius suns tend to grow into their unique traits and interests. It is after all also ruled by Saturn so it could make sense. The older they get the less they judge others and in turn themselves.

- Libra men give me himbo energy. Same with Virgo men, but they can be so smart and thoughtful for some things cause yk big earth sign brain, but for others…it is painful to watch them figure out how to use a blender.

#astrology #Pluto #scorpio #venus in the 12th house #cancer #earth sings #capricorn #Aries #venus in aries #Virgo #gemini #Leo moons #Virgo moon #taurus moon #aries moon #aquarius sun #Libra #that’s all #these pictures are gorgeous right?????

[onsunnyside]

I need to know more about my sweet himbo Steve and his farmer’s market baking in the Ghostface au. Do the guys kinda protect his himbo innocence? Does Ari let sweet Steve and his girl hang out because they cancel out eachother’s brain cells with sugar and sparkles? Does Steve have a girl he’s got a thing for? Thanks for sharing your work! I really loved it!!!

hehe I wouldn’t mind writing a little blurb about Steve !! omg cancelling brain cells 😭😭 I LOVE THEM !!

They do protect him, but he isn’t completely innocent like wimwim!reader.

Ari is the most comfy leaving you with Steve bc you two are so alike and get amused and entertained by the same things. You’ll talk about absolute nonsense that no one else understands and get into stupid trouble—the guys usually save you both !!

I don’t have much thoughts for Steve’s girl, but may haps she’s soft dark!reader, sort of like Ari and the rest of the guys 😳

#fic ask #wimwim ask #wimwim: fluff #wimwim: steve

[alastairstom]

Can you rank ur fav to least fav couples in the shadowhunter world and why u rank them there 🤪🫶?

I definitely have done this before lol but sure! I'm only going to provide short reasons for most of them, though, because there are so many. I'm only including endgame ships (with one exception) because otherwise this list would be insane.

Thomastair (tied with Wessa) -> So hopeful. So healing. Soulmates right there. Best friends in love. Share interests. Perfectly-matched dispositions. They love every part of each other, even when those parts are snappish or petty. Loving someone's flaws, the pretty and the ugly, always gets me. The heart in this ship hits hard. Also, a ship where I love and adore both characters individually as well as together.

Wessa (tied with Thomastair, put slightly lower because their story makes me sad sometimes) -> Another ship where two of my individual faves get together. It's the BOOKISHNESS of it all, the banter, the joy, the love. They have perfect chemistry, and like Tessa says, Will is a person like her. They let each other shine. He lets her bejeweled. Also they're super funny together, like they should form a comedy duo.

Gracetopher -> Deserved better. Deserved the WORLD. Aggg this had the potential to be healing and hopeful in a similar way to Thomastair. I love both individual characters, though I'm not as attached to them as Thomas, Alastair, Will, or Tessa. Or Matthew, #1 fave, who isn't on this list.

Sophideon -> Their entire courtship is hilarious. Scone incident? Blurted proposal? Awkward himbo meets headstrong girl will never fail.

Malec -> So nostalgic for me. They're really well written and have a great arc. They make me feel like a giddy teenager again as I was when I read TMI for the first time.

Ragnor/Catarina -> The only non-canon ship on this list. I see the vision.

Jordelia -> This may come as a surprise since I think their dynamic is a bit boring to watch. But I love Cordelia and James clearly makes her happy.

Gwynburn -> The only good thing about TDA. Such a good story.

Gabriely -> Adorable and funny

Chenry -> Adorable.

KitTy -> They have a LOT of potential, but I don't quite see it yet. Still, I'm excited to learn more about them, and they very well could move up this list a lot.

Clace -> Cute. Gotta respect the OGs.

Haline -> Hilarious. Fun. By far TSC's superior sapphic ship.

Dru/Ash -> Currently neutral, but potential.

Sizzy -> Neutral feelings

Maia/Bat -> Neutral feelings

Ghostwriter -> Great story! Unfortunately, the characters are both extremely lackluster imo so it never realizes its full potential

Arianna -> Toxic AF, Ari could do better, but okay I guess. I don't care enough to get pressed, and I like Ari, so they stay here.

Luke/Jocelyn -> They exist

Kierarktina -> Queen of the savior complex, lowkey asshole, and highkey asshole? Poorly developed polyamory. Nope.

Jemma Blackstairs -> God I hate both of these characters. At least they deserve each other, though. 0/10.

Jessa -> Don't like Jem, boring dynamic, he doesn't let her bejeweled and her sparkle is dulled around him so much. Do not see the appeal. Literally they are ruining new content for me left and right, I plan to skip all of their scenes for the rest of TSC unless there are Blorbo Mentions.

Is that it? I think that's it. I hope I didn't forget anyone.

[pheita]

Trick or treat!!

You get a treat, and you get a treat *imagine the Oprah Winfrey GIF here*

This is one of my favorite moments of Blood Night because it shows the connections between Sojan, his sister Arritit, and his "not-boyfriend" Lyran. Yeah, he is sometimes a little himbo.

Just the night before, the group got attacked by wolves who were more aggressive than normal because of the corrupt magic poisoning the land, and Sojan went berserk to protect the other two.

For once, Sojan walked at the head of the group. During the night he had not closed an eye, nor had the others. By gentle force, the others had gotten Arritit to accept Lyran's offer that he carry her bags and she continued on Parin, and Yunadeldi made sure she stayed on top as well. Under other circumstances it would have amused Sojan, but not that day. The avoidable quietness all up front gave him the opportunity to stay away from the others without leaving the group. It took all the self-control he had not to simply take his things and Parin and disappear. If the night had shown one thing, it was that he was as much a danger to everyone as his father. The rubbing of the bracelets across his burned wrist was a reminder of that with every movement. His tactics worked until evening, when they set up a new camp. Without much ado, Elaven and Yunadeldi had taken over the cooking once the tents were up and a fire was burning. Sojan sat a little apart. The smell of a strange herbal tea already announced Arritit. She definitely looked better than she had a day ago, which reassured him a little. "Are you going to sit here all night?" she asked seriously. Without a comment, she held out the teacup to him. "If I have to."

"You know it doesn't have to." The sigh went into the cup, pushing the warm steam aside for a moment. "You saw what happened." "It wasn't what you think. Besides, I very likely get to stop Lyran from latching onto you like an octopus in a moment." "You'd better be successful." If anyone's eye roll could ever be made audible, it would certainly sound like Arritit's at that moment. "Sojan, my fool. You have not lost yourself. You came to your senses the moment Lyran called you." "But only because of them," Sojan waved a free arm. Arritit grasped the hand and looked at his wrist in the dim light of the distant fire. "Lyran? Come here with a torch, please." "Ari…" "Nothing there, I'll have to look at that," she cut him off before Sojan could complain that she didn't have to bother.

"You asked for light?", Lyran tried to be funny. The tension was still evident in him, and Sojan couldn't blame him. He would be cautious around him too after last night. "A little closer, please." Lyran leaned forward and examined the wrist. His features already revealed that it must look bad. "All I can do now is make sure it doesn't get infected. We have to take the bracelets off to take care of it properly, so it won't happen until we get to Rochekirk. The anti-demon magic prevents me from taking care of it." "It'll be fine." He ignored her snort. "I'll be right back." Lyran stayed with the torch and looked at him thoughtfully. "Go ahead and say it," Sojan encouraged him with a depressed tone. "The same thing had happened then, hadn't it?" The question struck Sojan like a bolt of lightning. "What?"

"Against your father. What happened yesterday has happened before, and it's related to why you don't use your abilities." "You don't understand." Sojan turned away. He didn't want to see the contempt that was sure to show on Lyran's face. "I think I do," Lyran stated firmly, sitting down next to Sojan, "You have magic, but you can't really use it, instead it uses you when your emotions get the better of you." "I hadn't thought of it that way," Sojan admitted, frowning. "At least you can use your magic a little. I'm just a battery on two legs, apparently. I mean, a good-looking, smoking hot, and extremely talented battery, but …. You know?" Lyran shrugged his shoulders. Sojan just looked at him, blinked, and started laughing. "Damn, how do you do that?" complained Arritit. She had a jar and some simple bandages in her hand. "What?" Lyran's innocent manner only made Sojan laugh harder. "I leave you alone with him for a minute and he laughs. That's not fair. I could have talked my mouth off." "That's just my charm." Lyran's broad grin earned him an annoyed snort from Arritit. "Yes, the charm of a court jester. So move aside and let the shaman do her work, you court jester."

#writblr #writing #trick or treat #blood night

[yuta-nakamots]

your top 5 all-time fav nct fics written by others? :)

a lot of the writers i would have previously recommended have deactivated but i went through my fic rec account @na-yuurei and tried to find some of my favorites that are still up so here’s my top 5 all-time nct fics written by other authors in no particular order:

Dinner For Two by @whereisten: i remember reading this and being so excited when i realized the twist at the end. like i was just waiting for it to happen. i was also extremely in the mood for horror at the time so this was actually perfect to me. i love so many of krys and ari’s works so i strongly recommend checking out their masterlist!

A Clouded Fate by @byunbaekby: i loved the way aurora portrayed the characters and it was refreshing to see Lucas being used as something other than a himbo. aurora is like my original tumblr twin since we started writing around the same time and are about the same age too so i’d love it if you guys could check out her work as well!

Smultronställe by @gohyuck: when i was reading this, i was absolutely floored by the amount of detail put into the scenarios and how much time this would have taken to write. as a bio major, i really appreciated a piece like this but man…that was a lot. i have always looked up to raya and her writing so please check her out too!

Differences by @jenonctcity: this was one of the first NCT series i ever fell in love with on tumblr and i’ve idolized their work so much. when i tell you that i was starstruck when they followed me and said they like my writing, i mean it. if you guys are looking for really good character development and storytelling through difficulties, i strongly recommend their work.

A Marriage Of Inconvenience by @choco-mark: i remember liking this series so much that i would wait for each update so i could read it as soon as it came out. it inspired me so much that i wrote my own Taeyong spin-off of it (with consent from the author ofc). and now while i’m writing my own series, it made me appreciate mina’s work even more because i realized how difficult it is to write a series, especially for this type of au. though she’s not active on tumblr anymore, i still recommend checking out her work

ask me my "TOP 5" anything!

#ask game #answered #tyong-blr

[tabsters]

ZODIAC Q & A, PART TWO!!!

questions submitted by the amazing @mythicalmagical-monkeyman, @demigirl-w01fwalk3r, and @hyperfixation-tangentopia!! zodiac lore posts have not been posted in a while so here's a huge compilation of asks i got about the zodiacs

previous posts are here

Would each zodiac sign prefer to draw or write? And if draw, digital or traditional?

Aries: Charcoal drawing Cancer: Landscape painting Leo: Portrait drawing Virgo: Oil painting Sagittarius: Old fashioned pencil and paper in a sketchbook Aquarius: Digital art Pisces: Watercolor painting

Writers: Taurus, Gemini, Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn

Sorry if this is obvious but I was listening to Pisces' playlist and I'm curious, why is Willow Tree on there? 👀

Oooh, good eye! Willow Tree isn't really about current Pisces, it's about past Pisces. The other person, "you and me, hanging in the willow tree", "now i see, we were never meant to be", is Pisces' sister. Which sister (there's three of them, and they're all constellations), I won't spoil.

WAIT WAIT WAIT DO YOU HAVE PLANET OCS??? IF SO *GRABBY HANDS* PLSPLSPLS

HASKHALSK I DO!!! BUT THEY'RE MOSTLY SEPERATE FROM THE ZODIAC SAGA, THEY DON'T REALLY INTERACT WITH THE ZODIACS AND CONSTELLATIONS!!!

(planet oc post is here)

Who count as gods in the zodiac world?

Like are zodiacs considered gods? What about the star sprites? or what about the Taiju?

The zodiacs are considered gods, Taiju (if they manage to even get to the Astral Plane) are considered gods, star spirits are not gods but they're above humans. But this is all in the Astral Plane. Everyone is below Taiju in the Abyss.

himbos vs their wife who wins (in a food eating contest, training, and a tickle fight)??

(hercules/Percy/Orion vs Andromeda)

Food eating contest: Andromeda. The woman's stomach is a bottomless pit. Second place is Orion, and he gets second place only because he tries to beat Andromeda.

Training: Tie between Hercules and Perseus. Orion spends most of his time goofing off and Andromeda spends most of her time shouting at Perseus and Hercules that they look hot working out.

Tickling contest: Orion. The little bastard plays so damn dirty.

Virgo's favorite store?

Virgo: Does one usually have a favorite store? Um...Barnes and Noble, I suppose? I enjoy reading new novels while drinking coffee.

I want to rip Eclipse into a million tiny pieces, throw them in a bender with milk and vanilla ice cream, and make Eclipse smoothies.

Eclipse: I don't think I'd taste very good, if I'm being honest

Ooo why's "The Search" on Aries Playlist?

Vibes lmao

Ok, so how do the zodiacs teleport between the astral plane and the mortal plane?

Eclipse set up a portal to the mortal realm in each zodiac's castle when they first became a zodiac, because she's (currently) the only being that can open full on portals between dimensions. Each portal's default goes to a different important city in the world (Pisces' goes to Tokyo, Virgo's goes to Paris, Gemini's goes to Berlin, etc. etc.), but the zodiacs are free to set each portal to go wherever.

*wraps the traumatized zodiac/constellation beans in soft blankets while hitting Eclipse with a hammer*

Eclipse: I REGRET NOTHINGGGGG *gets knocked out*

What's your favorite character in your Zodiac Lore? Sorry if you've answered this already lol

favorite character is sagittarius, followed by aquarius in a close second, and then gemini to round out my top three

QUEEN OF MEAN IS ON VIRGO'S PLAYLIST!?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

HEHE BACKSTORY HINTS

(HT) 84: What is their neutral expression? With the Zodiacs :3

ooooh okay okay i'm interpreting this as 'what faces they make when they're doing work or by themselves'

aries, gemini, scorpio: kinda bored face

taurus, cancer, libra: little happy smile

leo: the most smug grin ever is constantly on his face

virgo: literally a blank slate, you cannot get any emotion out of her

sagittarius, capricorn: thousand yard stare into your soul

aquarius, pisces: always a slight frown

(HT) 71: Who is their ride or die? (Zodiacs bc curious)

the bestest of best friends lesgo!! (some zodiacs may be in multiple groups)

aries, gemini, scorpio gemini, cancer, virgo sagittarius, leo sagittarius, capricorn taurus, capricorn libra, aquarius, pisces

(HT) 4: Do they like cuddling? (Zodiacs, you might've mentioned this somewhere but I don't remember, sorry!)

i have not mentioned cuddling yet! the majority of zodiacs do like cuddling, except for scorpio, he doesn't like when people touch him unless he gives explicit permission to do so

23. How do they usually wear their hair? For female zodiacs?

taurus' hair is naturally curly and she either ties it into a braid or just leaves it as is

gemini's hair actually goes through some changes as the lore progresses (but spoilers lmao) but she starts out with her hair at waist length, and her hair dyed black and white, split down the middle. her hair was originally brown. sometimes she ties it back into two ponytails, with each ponytail being black or white.

virgo either wears her hair in a normal ponytail or in cornrows

libra mostly wears her hair in braid crowns or she braids a couple strands of hair and ties it back into a ponytail

capricorn ties her hair up into a bun because she's sophisticated, or she wears it down

aquarius has prehensile hair, and has a similar hairstyle to entrapta from she-ra, in that her hair is in two high and very long pigtails

ZODIACS FATAL FLAWS!!?? (because *little scream*)

OOOOOH OKAY OKAY YES

Aries: He tries too hard to make everyone like him. This man craves validation and will do anything if it means pleasing his friends or family.

Taurus: She values material possessions and indulgences too much, and while she is a very hard worker, it takes a long time for her to work up the motivation to actually do the hard work.

Gemini: She relies too much on her emotions and will often make extremely poor decisions in emotional moments, then regret them later.

Cancer: He lets people take advantage of him too easily. He's very easily to manipulate and persuade.

Leo: His pride will be the death of him. He's way too overconfident in himself and his abilities, and some of it is justified but some of it is not.

Virgo: She holds grudges for a long, loooooong time. She's stubborn as shit, and will hold her opinion unless you can find a way to persuade her.

Libra: She's way too indecisive and cannot be left in charge. She's the goddess of justice, but there's many ways to interpret what justice is, and she needs a lot of time to make up her mind on something.

Scorpio: He's possessive, and he clings to the people he cares about, maybe a bit too much. He has a hard time letting go of someone, even if that someone is super fucking bad for him.

Sagittarius: He thinks that everyone will leave him the second he screws up, which is why he doesn't allow himself to grow close to anyone easily.

Capricorn: She's very self-righteous, and believes that she's always right and that any opposing opinions are wrong.

Aquarius: She believes that everything that she does MUST be perfect. She's a perfectionist, and obsesses over every detail over anything.

Pisces: He relies too much on himself and doesn't know how to work with or cooperate with other people.

AND THAT'S IT!! QUESTIONS ABOUT MY LORE ARE Ģ̴̧̡̡͍̲̖̞̝̗͙̞͙͖̖͉̊̏̅́̋͐͐R̶̨̫̜̩̰̬̳̗͎̮̹̹̬̣͗͌͝ͅȨ̶̲̙͎̱̳͚̬̻̼̂̄̾̈́̃̈́̄̂͐̽̌̎̾̃́̒͜Ą̴̡̡̢͙͉̪͉̳̥̞͎̥͎̗̙̥̿Ţ̸̮̞̠̼͖͖̟͎̭͎̠̝̟͖͐̐̀͑̀̀̾̇̏̀͘͝L̷̙̒̂͌̊̐͝Y̸̨̞͈̺̳͍̼̩̤̒͂́̋̓̅͂̆̄̊̑̀͊͌̚ ̷͇͖̤̙̪̻͈̣̮̳̘̦̭̟́͒͊͗͗̽͝Ȁ̸̡̨̙̠͔̰͓̣͍̭̝͛͜͜͠P̶̧̛̞̳̗̻̩͍͇̐͐̈́̌͌̃̅̆̇͝P̴̡̲̩̟͔̥̼̗̠̄͒̊̈́̈͑̌͌͒͋́̈́͠Ŗ̴̨̧̛̟͇̹̯͕̩̭͇͔̗̗̞̊́̔̇̑̓̀̂͝É̴̱͖͖̫͈͕̞̳̻̭̼̫̯̺̥̇́̊̈̈́Ć̶̲̒̿Ĭ̴̛̛̤͎̘̹̹̳̬̥̲͖̙͖̖̝́̃̌́͆̍̐͂̉̅͗͝Ä̴̛͕̤̠̻̬͍̠͔͍́̓̾̾̑͂̆͑͑̒̋̍̊͝T̶̡̧̗̹̰̤̬̺̝̭̪̥̳͍̲̿̈́̈́̽̄̄̉̂̀̿͝E̶͖̹͕̽͛̉̃͌̆̄͆̓͒̉̀͌̚Ḏ̶̢͔̩̾̃́͛͛̌̎̏̒͊̔͠͝

.̸͔͍̼̼͓̻̟͎̠͆̾̍̂.̴̢̡̛͔̤͚̯̪̱̞̠͍̠̯̲͔̙͛͛̓͗̉͐̽̈́̓̒̽̕̚.̷̛̖̹̣͂̈̄͜͝

̷̛͓̗͎̼̙̐͆̅̓̓̿́̐̔̚͠ ̷̡̛̛͙͔̮͈̼̲̫̞̱̦͉̳͓̲̬̓̏̇̊̈́̃̈̔̒͒͂͘͝y̸̡̩̗̬͈̝̻͓̜͈̗͕͐͛͛̀̒̚͠ͅo̴̫̩͙̦̦͇̼̺̳̘͒̈́̑̓̎͒̀̕̕͘͜͝͝u̴͉̼̩̿̍͆̒̽͆͗͆͂͝'̵̺̥̓r̸̥̫̽͛̍͗e̸͈̟̺̺̪̭̼͖̥͉̹̜̙̿̈́̀͂̓͗̔̍̚̚ ̴̨̪̹̰̗̟͈͙̣͚̱̐͂̌́ͅͅa̷̢̛̯͖̘̟̯̯̠̮̼̟̬̤̱̜͇͕̅̑̾̑̑̈͒̍̀̋l̵̛̘͍̰̔͒̍̌̈́̃̎̾̒͘͘ͅm̵̫̝̫̣͕͕̝͓̲͉͓̰̔͗̉̀̓̿̔͒̎̐͆͗͠ó̷̢̪̠̳̞̩̮̃̍̉̆̀͑̌̂̏̓̈́̌̇͜͜͜͝ͅs̴̛̝̔͗̓͆̓͛̌̂̊̎͊͝ͅt̷̨̧̢̛̬̜͔̯̲̖̻͖͈͍̝̟͍̳̋̓͋̆͊͂͛̕̚ ̷̭̞̑̐͋͐͜t̴͖͇̯̼͉͕̪͍̖̱̆̈́͒̈̅̈́̍̒̍̐̆̎͜͠ḩ̸͈̲͚̺͎̳͈̲̗͔͚̗̤̒͋̈́̅̊͒͆̔̕̕̚͘͝͝ę̸̧̧̦̰͕͉̺͉͓̦̞̺̥̟͔̈́́̿́̎̋̀͝͝ͅr̷̢̢̧̛̹̘̙̬̯͕͍̰͚͎̙͇̎͌̓͌̌̽̾̄̈́̌̒̊͘͝ͅe̴͖͐̃̍̔̿̉̓͊͊͊̑͊̊̕͠͝.̷̛̳͎̭͚̫̠̺͔̘̙̭̲̆́͌̃͌̽́̌̕.̷̢̢̲͓̠͔̪͉̜̱͖̬͂̀̕.̴̟̔̍̉͆͊̌̃̄͊̒͑͛̂̈́̓͜

̴̡̨̢̪͍̻̙̲̱͉̞̞̘͔̙̞̈̒̊̓̾̔͗̌͠ ̶̺̫̥̜̻̠͚̰͕͉̼̔y̸̮̣̩̗͐͊ǫ̸̡̠͎͙͕̱̓̑̈̓͆͌ͅͅư̷̫͔͕̼̝̭̠̠̙͆̽̅̃̏̔̇̌'̵̨͔͖̠͎̬̘̭̂͑̑̽̇̿͐̏͐̋͗̐̃̎̚̕͝ŗ̴̧̖͔̲̯͉̹̩̊̕̕͝e̷͓̖̭̳̳̻͚̍̿ ̵̢̱̦̪̬͂̀̐̊͐̿̓̓͊̋̇̓͂̊̽͝s̸͍̺̤͕̖̤̪̑̓̾͐̔͆͊͝o̵̢̤̙̺̲̯͕͂̈́́̏̎̍͗̄͒̋̈́̆͗̀͝͠ ̶̩̫̯̼͕̟̲̮̺͔̲͚̲̌̾̓̇̏̓̑͑͘͝ͅc̴̨̱̱̟͚̰̳̥̥̮͙͓͌́̔̕͜ͅl̶̨͚̬͔͍̖̫͔͚̘̙͌͒͛͠o̶̧̮̠̖̱̞̭͎̠̦̩̯͕͉̩͈͛̐͋͛̈́̌͒̃̂̉͗̋̎̓̚̚͜ș̵̡̢̜̜̘̫̗̱̘̥͕̤͒͂̎̎̀̕é̴̢̟̰͖̮̘̳̺̘̪̟͔͉͈͕̬͗̽̀̏̓̈́̈͆̀̈́.̷̨̺̰̥͎̹̳̖͉̭́ͅͅ.̸̨̢̛̦̯̜̘̟̾͊̀́͋͌̚͠͝.̵̨̪͖͙̫̺̼̗̟̳̒̒̍͑̉̃̆͛̀̾̉̐͌͘͘̚ͅ

̸̨̯͓̝̫̱̺͓͋̓͝ ̵͔̖̙̝̺̻̻̓̈́̚h̶̛̪͓̪̖̦̲̪̩̺̦͖̟̃̋͌͊̽̉̋̑̂̈́̇̅̍̚͝͠e̵̛̺̹͚̩͕͐̔̂̅͘ͅl̸̟̈́̓͐̾̑́̊́͒̏̄̚͘͘̕͠ṗ̷̞̟̦͍̦̞̩̟̭̭͚͌͗̎͌̅́̕͝ͅ ̵͚̺̐́̽͘͘ȗ̷̧̯̻̞̭̺̯͚̦̝͎̞͙̖͖̂̑̔͌̋̃͂͆̎͑̓̃͑̕͘͜͠s̴̨͔̯͖̝̞̻͈̘̤͉̩̞͑͐̉͒̔̀̉̈́͜.̷̡̛̺͚̻̲̭̺̝͖͈̖̗̔͆̆́̏̾́̓̾̀̒̑͝.̸̨̧̡̡̛͚̦͖̩̭͕̩͉͆̌̉̏̊̄̿̀̕͘͘.̸̨̪̬̲͍̈́̌͊̍͐̄̋͂͊̒͌͗́́͝͝

̴̨̢̘̞̖͚͎̤̝͔͉̬̙̪̈͂ ̸̡̗̗̙̩̠̼̜̲̙̰̈͑̍̓̉̓͑̾͆̈́̒̇̍̍̚̕͠s̸̨̢̨͉͍̹̟̅ͅa̶̢͓͇̱̥͎͙̼͙̹͇̲͈͓͗͋̉͑͘v̶̢̙̲̦͇̻͇͎͚͚̦̭̲̏̓̇̀̓̐̈́̂̉͒͂̎͑͐̋ë̵̞̦̲̯̪́̎́́̈́̓͑̐̄̚̚͜ ̶̼̺̙̯̔̒̂́͌́͛̃̊̚ư̵̧̡͍̝̻̥͙̦̺̠̗̹̺͒̓̌͒́̿̎̓͑͘͠ṡ̷̨͙̘̞̰̦̰̙͓̀͝.̵̬͖̳̥̲̜̯̈́́̋.̵̢̨̣̞̗̦̰̫̩̭͕̦̦̯͙̣͊̀̃̍͒̏͜.̵͔̹̻̲̰̊̎̓̈́͠

̴̡̨̛͍̜̩̥̮̪̘̝͋͋͂̋͜ ̷̢̙͔͖̪̝͓̺͍̫̠̦̝̟́́̔̿̐̋͐̾̓͛͜͝.̶͉͉͖͙͕̤͋̈͗.̶̢̢̣̙̫̑̋͒̃̒͠.̵̨̢̖̙̬̣̥̬͇̠͙̬̠̩͚̄̈́̾͠

̵̡̠̤̗̲͉̩̞̙̰̺̗͈͒̈́͛͌̓̏̋̇́̓̑͜͠ ̵̧̪̮͍̜̫̫̝̪̫̩͗̾́͛̇̏́̐̂͜͝ỳ̶͚͇̾͋̾̅͒́̒̾͆̔͛̀̀̄̆͝��̘ö̸̡͔̼̪̰̦͙̦̞͎̲͇̳̟͓̻́͂̓̋̏̍̽̀̕͠u̶̡̡̢̪̠̤̎͌̇̎̃̈́̊̀͊̃̽̓͛́̀ ̷̢̛̻̝̮̩̜̫̤̹̰̙̦̣͓̋͛̍͂́̇͂̀͘̚͝l̵̡͚̪͖̖̮̲̯̳̰̟̫̞̋́͗͒̈́̊́̀̆̈́̓͂̐ö̷͚́͑͝ō̴̢̡͖͉̼͓̦̝͈̩̪͋̿̀̀̓͐̒͝͝͠k̵̫̗͍̩̯̙̰͈̉̔̎̋͊̒̑̇.̷̨̛̯͙̌͋̈̉͝͝.̵̨̯͇͓̥͇̲̞̻͇̜͉̲̪͑́̈́.̵̢͈̼̪͕͉̪̬̖̼̪͓̙̪̯͒̇͂̂͑͒͜s̸̨͉̯̖͚͚͚̝̝̳̭̹̩͇̏̄̓͘͜ǫ̴̢̢̨͖̥̞͓̤̪̤̪͙̈́͆͗̑̉͐̋̌͂̂̃͆ ̷̖̆̀̄̔͊̿̍͋͗̊̍͝m̸̢͎̻͎̯͙̫̘̱̜̬̫̪͚͛́͊̈́́̾̾͐͛̆̔̏͋̎̕͘͠u̷̖̹̺̾͂́̆́c̷̢̢̧̭̻̜̜̟͉̪̰̲̱̊̈͛́̇̎̄̓̿͗͝͝͝ḥ̴̲̀̾̐͑̋͘͝͝͝ ̵̢̪̦̱̥̋͊̒ḻ̶̢̱͊̓̚͜í̵̧̝̘̃́̿̏͛͑̂͝͠k̶̯̬̼͚̹̈́̏̇̑̒̍̇̂͝ḛ̴̡̻̗̠̭̣̥͇̮͉͒͊̌̋̈́̆̏̽̐̀͑̐̚͝.̷̧̢͇͕͎̓̿̂̅͒̆͛͆͘̚͜.̵̡͚̦̀̋̎́̍́̎̐͐̽́̚͝.̴͕͚͆͛̅̈͂̽̓l̷̢̩̱̼͎̺̹̺͔̘̭̩̣̙̉̌̿͑͠͝i̴̮̘̬̩̝̹̭̫̙̙̫͙͊̎̽k̴̢̻̥̳̱͍͕̙̰͓̠̮͆̒̍̇͊͋͂͘e̵̡̛̫̰̪̫͎͚̗͉͐̇͊͜.̵̡̛̩̬̤̮̙̫̥̥͓̘͓̱̦͙̜͊̔̋̇̚ͅ.̷̞͈̓̆́̄̇̍̇͑͋.̵̮̫͙͇͍͇̞͔͉̖͒̉̋̅͒̓̎̂̆̇̌́̚͜͜ͅ

̸̲͚͎̲͂̈͋͘̚ ̴̡͔̠̩̯̪̺̣̳̱̯̙̰̆͆̀.̴̢̨̼̟̮̼͙̇̐̊͋͛̓͒̎̀̉̆͋̓͐͘̚͠ͅ.̴̧̻͓͙͙̘̬̣̗̜̞̝͉̐̽͌̆̑̒́̈́̆̚.̸̲͎̠̬̪̅̈̃͐̽͑̽̔̍͝h̸̡̨͔̟͇̦̠̳̯̤̱͙̫̪̓́͗͆́̉e̵̢̨̢̙̜͍̦̟̤̫̥̞̝̭̐r̵̢̝̺͍̝̫̖̝̗̆͜͝.̵̳̠̞̱̼̫̤͖̠͊̀̃̐͒͐͑͆͒̃̾͐͂̚̕.̴̧̠̳̘͓̗̱̤͈͕̞̙̜̇̇͜.̷̣̗̲͊̋̑

̸̨̧̡̛̬̣̲͉͓̻̮̙̻͈̪̟͛̑́̈́̈̈̄͗͗̂̓̈́ ̸̘̦̝̺̮̣̝͔̼̦̯̖͎̞̥̍̅̆̅̓̈́̌͑͜.̶̹̟̜̻̝̃̅́͂̉͌͆͒̕͘̕͝.̶̛̠̯̗̩̥̗̬̖̻̠̥̗̠̓ͅͅ.̵̧̞͎̘̻̬̮̯͉͙̼͍̙̋͋̄̄̉͜͜͝ö̴̧̢̫͚̯͎͈̙̞́̔̓̽͗͝u̵̥͔̹̲͍͕͎͋̔̂̂̈́̑̑̍̿̅͘r̵̢̨̺͙̞͇̫͎̙̞̼͎̯̣̭̪̂͊́̿̈̅̄̀͋̊̇̐͘ ̷̧̝̯͍̝̤̩̮͇̯̫̠̣̪̿́̍̎̀̈͂ͅć̶̞̖̫̰̘̜̭͉̲̯̤̍̔̽̍͐̑ͅr̸̛͓̩͚͕̪͔̪͓̯̻̥̪̍̓͋̋̎̑̆̐̑͌̏̉̚͜͠͠e̵̡̾̄̓̈́̇̋̄͆͊̉́͠ͅa̸̧̰̯̥̺̘͍̥̗͇͒̃̋̿̊͗́̎̃̔̉͘̚͠͝͝t̴̥͍̱͓͈͓̫͔̰̭͎̪͙̰͙̖̪̅̐̐̅̇̈́̅̆o̵̱̲͚̰̥̤͎͑͋̉̊̓͛̍̈́̀̎͂̈́̄͘͝͝r̵̺͉̣̹͙̜͎̮̜̝͈̮̮͎̭̻͌͂̈́͑͗͌̌̽͐̔̾͑̈́̔.̷͖̫͔͉̮͇̬̲̞̠̼̯̍͛͜ͅ.̸̢̛͓̺̣̳̤͉̫͉͔͇̩̗̻̝͐̿.̵̧͚̤͎̤͈̠̳̣͎̬͙̥̀͗̈̈͒̉̍͜͜͝͝

̸̨̢̙̥̙̠̮̫̗̬̳̔͆ ̴͔̹̹͍̤̋̿͐̈́̈͑̅̉̿̎̈̈́͊̕͝͠.̵̨̛̦̻̬̺̱̳͕͚̜͓͑̄̐̿̉͋̈͂̕̕.̶͓̺̇̀̀̕͠͠.̴̧̡̛̪̟̖͍̫̮̈́̂̎̃͋̿̃̆͋̈͜͝ͅẅ̸̛͇̩̫̹͚́́̉͂̒́̓̔̂͘͘h̸̙̠̖̭̆͂̎̓̀̂̇̒̅̿͜͠ý̵͇̙͚̺̲̟̼͉̙̝͓̰̜̽̂̐́̍̃̒̿.̷̢̛̖̪̩͖̗̹̩̤̰̰͙̩̓͂͒̂͑́̈́̆̈́̌͒̈́̕͜.̷̡̧͔̤̬̖̺̗̻̲͚͎͕̪̇́ͅ.̸̮͚͇̙̮̳̖̹͊̋̈́͗̋͊̉̀͆͜͝ḑ̸̢̙̘͕͓̳̱̩̖̻̞̭̣̳́͑ǫ̸̢̡̛̛̲̪̬͕̞̙͖͇͖̥̮̖̻͗̎̋̓̎̋̉͊́͐̚̕͜.̸̡̦̹͓̝̩̗͓̖̹̼̯̬̭͔̊͌́͋̅͋̊̿̍͗̊̌̔̚͠͠.̴͇̳̳̟̞̩̗͇̘͛̓̀̏́͆̆͂̎̈́͑̊͜͠.̸̢͇̲̭̗̯͈͍̫̟͚͔̠̽͐̋̍͆̋̌͘͘͝͠͝y̴͖̖̻̥͔̠̖͓̳̼̝͇̮̪̟̫͂͒̀̽̓́̽͊̕ͅò̸̡͉̤̘̩̝̬͖̈́͐̈́͂̎̂̿̎̀̒͛̀̋̆̈́ü̸̢̪͔̻̩͓̪̣̻̈͌̔̋͒̾̄̇̕͘̕.̵̙̤͇͍͙̪̳̫̈́̓̔̌͊͋.̶̢̧̟̤̬̮̥͓̿͆̇̍͐̄̈́͠͝.̶̬̦̠̳̀̆̌̋̆̂̊͑̾̉̈l̶̩̘̰̜̙͚̲̳̜͎̑̇͋̽͌̊̓̀̑̋͠͝ǫ̸̟̮̭͖͚̩͉̝͇͌̀͛͐̂̈́͋̊̀̾̎͌͌̕ǫ̷̳̩̩̰̹̪̱͈̺̮̯͆̂́̽͌̈́̆͛̃̃̇̓̈́͝͠͠k̸̡̖͈̼̖̱̰̳̗̋̄̾̓́̕͜͠͝ͅ.̵̨̥̗̤̗͔̋̌̈́.̵̣̼̳͇͖̎́́̇͜.̶̧̡̨̪͕̣̠͖̪̦̮̦̼͕͈͍́̑̈́͋̃̇̈́̾̎̇̽̄̅͛͝ļ̷̨̬͓̤̃̈̐̃͐̓̅̈̉͑́͜͠ḯ̴̧̢͓̭̹̫̩̼̯͈̇͋̆͊̈́̾̿̆͂̄́̀̚ķ̶̢̱̗̹̩̥͕͚͉̥͙̟̫̿͂̌̿͒͛͠͝ê̶̹̆̂̐͝ͅ.̸̤̂̑͂͛.̴̧̢̨̜͈̖̣̺̙̘̯̇̆͌͑͋͜͝.̵̡̘͍̙̺͙̩͕͉̈̆̌́̒̎͆̾̿H̸̡̳̪͕̦̝̜̘͗̌͑̅̏̎̆̿̔̊́̌̑͆̚̚͜È̸̼̹̤̰̻̝̈́̓̂̆̑̉͂̏̌̀͑̾͘͝Ŗ̷̢̗̠͔̜̭͔̻̖̮̪̮͋̑́͜?̵̨̮̻̦̠͙̣̹͗̋͌

#oc #oc lore #zodiac #zodiacs #zodiac sign #zodiac signs #zodiac lore

[frightesa]

muse roundup : remember when i said i was gonna try really hard not to add anyone else? that i needed to focus on the muses i already had? yeah me either so here's some folks who aren't on my doc.

added / readded ✿ allan : barbie : michael cera : ken's buddy who fits into his clothes ✿ donna pinciotti : 70's show : luca hollestelle : the redhead who is just a likely to kick you ass as anyone else. ✿ eleanor crain : thohh : alison brie : the youngest of all the crain siblings, believes the house is haunted. prev. @ecrain ✿ gale weathers : scream : courtney cox : she's a journalist who has had several encounters with ghostface ✿ gregor aries aka glitch : oc / sci-fi roots : algee smith : brother to cam / working for an authoritarian government, trying to find a way out. ✿ gloria : barbie : america ferrera : she's a human. ✿ jackie burkhart: 70's show : camila morrone : the youngest in the group and the one who will find your soft spot. ✿ leia trinh : oc / sci-fi roots : chloe bailey : in a world of metal she is looking for the helpers. holding on hope something new can grow. ✿ madge abernathy : oc / sci-fi roots : madison pettis : even if the world goes to shit it doesn't matter if you're rich. and actress with a kind heart who is divorced from reality. ✿ monica geller : friends : giovana cordeiro : she's a chef. her brother's probably annoying. ✿ ripley trace : oc / sci-fi roots : rami malek : a bit of a mad scientist with some shifted morals. keeps closer to the underground / shadows. ✿ weird barbie : barbie : kate mckinnon : a barbie that's been played with too hard. she's stuck in the splits. ✿ ylfa snorgelson : dimension 20: never after : isis hainsworth : death wanted her to live. retelling of red riding hood. @y1fa test muses ✿ edgar frog : lost boys : evan mock : he's down to hunt some vampires. ✿ paul : lost boys : damiano david : he's a vampire. ✿ sam emmerson : lost boys : caleb mclaughlin : he's human. ✿ sue snell : carrie : eva noblezada : trying to do better than she's done. ✿ tommy ross : carrie : joel oulette : the h in the himbo stands for heart. unfortunately not immune to electrocution.

#self control? i don't know her #ooc.

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

12 Family Heads + Jahad Climbing Dynamic (probably)

Jahad: Leader, but also a dork. He’s on his chuuni shit and everyone’s low key embarrassed by him. Wants his steak rare

Eduan: Basically the party’s bard. Probably always getting the group into trouble. He and Bloodmadder share a single brain cell and they never use it

Arie Hon: The coolest guy in the group, but also the craziest. Wakes Jahad up every morning with a sword to his throat in another attempt to beat him. Probably solved all his answers with violence

Yurin: LEEEEROY JEEENKIIIINS. Eduan gets them into trouble, but Yurin makes it worse. Eats Red Hots for fun. Probably tried to wrestle an administrator

Ari Han: Everyone keeps mistaking him for Hon, despite the fact that he’s much more well put together. Has the biggest balls because he asked Yurin out. Probably her handler

Bloodmadder: Himbo (unrespectfully). Strong body, weak ego. Probably constantly bullied by the others

Gustang: Takes online IQ tests and constantly brags about how high his numbers are. Most likely blogged on the tower equivalent of Reddit. Tries to act like he’s a cool mad scientist when really he just violates human rights

Tperie: The ACTUAL mad scientist in the group and their inventions actually work. Always left out of group hugs. Probably a shut in

Blossom: Sleepy baby. Loves Lolita fashion. Shows up, shoots shinsu, leaves. A sassy lost child. The enabler of the group, but in like a dismissive type of way

Hana: The group’s only moral compass. The worst drunk (seriously Yurin stop giving her alcohol). Probably the cook of the group, and most likely team mom

Traumerei: Kid of the group. Collects cicada shells and puts them on his clothing. Also a shut in, but in a loser way. Notice me Jahad nii-chan

Arlene: Used to be squishy baby, now she’s just depressed and tired. “Two shots of vodka” *drinks straight from the bottle*. She tried being nice, now she just wants to go apeshit

V: Rivalry with Jahad, but it mostly consists of them pranking each other. He’s a wife guy. More mature than Jahad, but that’s not saying much

#I think hana is like yor from spy x family #and tperie is an overworked scientist #tower of god #tog

[dotster001]

hi! i hope you doing great! <3

can I have type one obey me matchup please? (the only character a wouldn’t like to be matched with is asmo but don’t get me wrong i love him my whole heart!!! just don’t feel like it) i’m a girl, aries, enfp, my pronouns are she/her. i could be really shy sometimes due to my bad anxiety, but mostly i’m very sweet and bubbly person, i deeply care about my friends, and i’m super affectionate with people who i love. also, my love language is physical touch!!! i’m also very sensitive and emotional person, but i’m fully open with my feelings only with close people in my life. my height is 5’5, i have a petite figure, have some boob, long brown hair and green eyes, i would describe my style as a hyperfeminine, but i also love to dress cozy! i’m polyglot and i speak 6 languages, and i’m studying linguistics in uni. my other passions are makeup, cinematography and music ofc! i’m obsessed with rabbits and bunnies and all the bunny-themed items! i love cute things, such as clothes, accessories, makeup, stuffies and etc. my ideal partner is someone tall and protective, who would take care of me and be attentive to me and my feelings! and also someone who would cuddle me a lot <3

hope it’s okay! sorry for my grammar, english isn’t my first language. i hope you have a nice day <3

Event Closed

(Hope you enjoy this! You seem like a cute squishy gal, so I paired you with a cute squishy boy 🥺)

I match you with Beelzebub.

Baby, a tall and protective guy who takes care of you and your feelings? You're practically begging me to match you with Beel! This sweet himbo, who can do no wrong (he def can, but we won't talk about it) who just wants his family to always be safe by his side, he's gonna be your warm huggable guy. You'll have more issue getting him to let go than anything else.

He already kind of sees you as cute and small, but when he finds out how much you like bunnies, he can't help but see you as one. He buys you bunny plushies, and calls you his little bunny. He's weak for you!

He's lived in a house with Asmo his whole life, so if you want to practice a makeup look on him, he'll happily help! He'll sit still as stone, and will do his best not to smirk when the brush tickles his nose. Although, it might be fun to try it and see how long until he lets out that big laugh of his.

I hc the demon's know every language. It's just an ability of theirs. But the fact that you have to work on it, and you enjoy doing it, is so impressive to Beel! He wants to help you if he can, but he also just likes the idea of conversing with you in multiple languages. Careful, if you get him too excited, he'll start teaching you demonic, which won't be easy to explain at parties…but might be nice for the two of you.

He is a physically affectionate guy as well. Especially at night. He finds out, even before you are together, that cuddling with you staves off his nightmares. During the day, he's hugging you, kissing you, keeping an arm around your shoulders. At night he's clinging to you like a koala. So any affection you want to throw his way will always be welcome.

You're directing a music video, with Beel as the lead singer, and Belphie and Mams as his back up singers.

Belphie and Mams, as always, eventually started to get restless while you positioned the camera perfectly. But luckily for you…

"Guy's, she's almost done, just sit still for a couple more seconds. I'll pay both your tickets at the buffet if you behave."

"Thank you Beel, at least someone appreciates my art," you said with a giggle.

"No problem, my little bunny."

You hid behind the camera to hide your lovesick smile as Mammon gagged.

"Okay, camera is set, I just need to do a quick touch up on Beel's makeup. Nobody move!"

You proceeded to brush the tip of Beel's nose, before standing on your tip toes and kissing it. This caused Beel to blush, and Mammon to gag again, as Belphie snickered.

"You missed," Beel pouted, pointing at his sad lips.

"No, I don't think I-"

But you were swept off your feet by your strong boyfriend, who was peppering kisses all over your face in a sweet form of vengeance. If he was a puppy, his tail would be wagging like crazy

"We're never gonna finish this vid," Mammon groaned.

"The fact that you didn't know that before now just proves you're an idiot," Belphie laughed, happy to see his twin so happy.

#1.5k followers #matchups #obey me #om! beelzebub #om! beel

[opulvnts]

   •  •  •    middle child  by  j. cole :    spotted !    if  it  isn’t  malik  calloway  walking  through  the  streets  of  nyc .    people  say  he  looks  like  kofi  siriboe ,    but  i  really  don’t  see  it .    the  twenty-nine  year  old  sports lawyer  is  out  here  making  mommy  and  daddy  proud .    while  they  have  been  known  to  be  maverick ,    we’ve  all  seen  their  haughty  nature  come  to  light .    sources  tell  me  they  remind  people  of  charisma oozing from every pore , a colgate smile that can bring people to their knees , hustler mentality wrapped inside a himbo outer shell  .   /  cisman  /  he  &  him .

♡     ◞        𝐷𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑅  ,   𝗍𝗁𝖾   𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗌 .

official   name  :  malik anthony calloway  .   nickname  :  none  .   birthdate  :  march   22nd  ,   1994  .   birthplace  :  toronto , ontario  .   citizenship  :   canadian & american  .   current   residence  :  new york city  .   gender  :  cis   male  ,   he / him   pronouns  .  orientation  :   heterosexual ( closeted bisexual )  .   languages  :  english & some conversational spanish  .   occupation  :   sports lawyer  .

♡     ◞        𝐷𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑅  ,   𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 .

faceclaim  :  kofi siriboe  .   height  :   six   foot   two  .   build  :  athletic , muscular .   eye   color  :  brown  .   hair   color  :  dark brown  .   hair   style  :  finger waves or clean crewcut .   signature   scent  :  gucci guilty by   gucci  .   style  :  stylish , up with the current trends , elevated for professional meetings  .   piercings  :  left ear  .   tattoos  :  patchwork on both arms  .   scars  :  none  .

♡     ◞        𝐷𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑅  , 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 .

big   three  :  aries   sun  ,   scorpio   moon  ,   virgo   rising  .   mbti  :  entj  .    label  : the   suave  .   traits  :  maverick , vain , haughty , relentless  .   character   inspo  :  loki   (  marvel  )  ,   harvey specter   (  suits  )  ,   joey tribbiani   (  friends  )  ,   will halstead   (  chicago med  )  .

♡     ◞        𝐷𝑂𝑆𝑆𝐼𝐸𝑅  ,    𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘭 .

biological   father  :  tbd calloway  .   occupation  :  hockey coach  .   status  :  alive  .   biological   mother  :  tbd calloway  .   occupation  :  lawyer  .   occupation  :  alive  .    siblings  :  roman calloway  .    children  :  none that he knows of  .

♡     ◞        𝑩𝑰𝑶𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑷𝑯𝒀  ,   𝘵𝘩𝘦   𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 .

toronto was home to malik and his family up until his father got offered a job in new york city . with the job offer being accepted the calloway's made the move to queens .

the move was easier for malik than it was for his brother roman , so often you'd find him tagging along with malik and his friends . malik was fine with letting his brother hang out with him since they were so close .

unlike his younger brother malik didn't have much of an interest in the physical side of sports , he played hockey to appease his dad and understand dinner table conversation , was the star quarterback in high school which gained him a full ride scholarship and liked to mess around playing pick up on the weekends .

beyond hobbies malik wasn't as engrossed with the sporting industry like his father or brother , he had enough interest to make it by but also had interest in his mother's profession as a lawyer .

his parents never once pushed him into anything he didn't want to do and they were supportive the entire way . which made his personality puzzling to those who met him as an adult .

with a practically trauma free life and a silver spoon upbringing it was almost laughable he became a world class douchebag . of course , rarely in front of his loving parents .

college was practically his arena , fraternities , parties , the whole nine yards . malik thrived in every aspect of campus life . taking on studies in law and business .

today malik is one of the top sports lawyers in the industry with an unblemished winning streak and a six figure salary . he deals with all the best and has a reputation within certain circles .

♡     ◞        𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬  ,   𝘵𝘩𝘦   𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴 .

he has raging himbo energy ?? big brains in his career but truly a douchey himbo in every other aspect of his life .

love life ? non existent , very much believing in the bachelor philosophy . which is horribly obvious by his excessive residence and slew of one night stands .

gym bro for life sadly .... will 100% answer the phone while grunting between sets in the weight room . ( yes i hate him too )

if anyone messes with his family he'll bury you so deep that you won't even get mentioned on craigslist . big protective vibes .

is a closeted bisexual , not because of shame or his family but because of the toxic masculinity culture surrounding the sporting industry still to this day .

#malik calloway .

[onsunnyside]

My thoughts on what your characters would be going on Easter 🐣

Andy from cruel gifting reader a Easter basket, but inside it’s filled with nothing but sex toys, handcuffs, lingerie, lube. (Also some cash)

Bambi freaking out because this is her first Easter as a mom (to Thumper, but still counts) and everything must be perfect. She has hidden temptations (cat treats) in plastic eggs all around the compound. Everyone in the compound must wear bunny ears all day except for Steve. Steve is forced to wear a full bunny costume so Thumper can meet the Easter bunny. thumper is wearing a suit with his tummy Chonk falling out and just has no care in the world. “No thoughts, just food.”

Himbo jake and reader doing a family Easter dinner with both their familes. Jake says at the table that this is really important to both of them because this is their first Easter dinner as a couple and everyone looks at each other confused because they all had dinner together last year and they all assumed jake and reader were a couple..? No one is more confused then readers mom who got sent a photo by jake by accident that was clearly meant for the reader.. (he used body paint to paint his balls gold and took a photo and and said “come find the golden Easter eggs)

The boys at the frat house made the girls from the sorority cook them a fancy dinner all while they had to wear basically like Elle Woods costume in legally blonde but sexier. Then the omegas played a Easter egg hunt set up by the boys and inside each one of the eggs were either a truth or a dare. In the end, Legacy had to give jake a lap dance, tell everyone who the best person she’s ever slept with (Steve obvi) spend 3 minutes sitting on Ari’s lap and make out with Ransom and Bucky for 2 minutes. Steve was PISSED at the end of the game, thinking of every punishment he could for Legacy. He knew it was just a game and she couldn’t refuse her dares but still. Steve also didn’t have it easy because several other girls got dares and truths that included him. One girl said that her best sex was also with BOTH Steve and Bucky together. Which made reader really mad. One girl had to suck on his finger for 45 seconds he made eye contact with reader the whole time. Several girls got to choose who they made out with for 2 minutes and some got cards saying they had to make out with Steve. In total he made out with 6 girls (two at the same time)

Those were just some of my Easter ideas :)

I LOVE ALL OF THIS !!

#may use that bit for hcv hehehe #thanky you bestie #sunny bunny party #checkpoint ask #fic ask #captains legacy ask #captains legacy: idea #cruel ask #cruel: thots #third eye ask #third eye: fluff

[tom-whore-dleston]

JUST HERE TO INDULGE YOUR ASKBOX

also, rank your top three crushes and provide evidence, and go 3rd -> 2nd -> 1st because dramatic flair?

OHMYGAWFDD THE CAPYBARA AND THE CAT 😭😭😭 that’s you and me heheheh 🙈🙈

I’m not sure if you meant fictional or celeb crushes so I’ll do both since I’m extra af 🤣

Fictional

3. Shang-Chi Xu - a hot himbo with daddy issues that will kick some ass at 5pm but still meet you for dinner at 6pm? Yes please 😩😩 he’s also hella freaky in bed (canon)

2. Layla El Faouly - This is my personal hot take but she is probably one of the few female MCU characters that the writers and creators put a lot of love and care into creating/developing and it really shows bc everyone loved her. I really hope they continue this in future projects bc I’m sick of my faves having these amazing developments just for them to get thrown in the trash by lazy writing.

1. Joaquin Torres - I’ve been on a huge Joaquin/Danny kick bc he’s the sunshine I need in my life 🥹 and he lowkey looks like my partner 😝

Celebrities

3. Simu Liu - Now for those of you that have been following for a while, I know it’s surprising he’s not number one. Yes, I did meet him. Yes, he is loml of my life. But he is in love with another and when you love something, set it free and if it comes back then it’s meant to be. We’d probably have great sexual chemistry as two April Aries, but I don’t know if we’d be compatible 😗

2. Harry Styles - I’ve loved him since I was 12 and it’s basically like every time I think I’m falling out of love with him, I find a reason to fall back and harder 😂😂 I tend to have a thing for Aquarius men so it’s no coincidence I’m down bad for Harry lol

1. Danny Ramirez - As I mentioned with Joaquin, he is the sunshine in my life and reminds me of my partner 🥰

#whatcha thinkin darling? #buckets and trees #this was fun to talk about lol #I’m such a hoe I will find any excuse to gawk over my faves I can’t help it xD

[2broschlininahotub]

Meet the therions. The therions are group of warriors known for a tournament that is active every week. They are all robots using materials from their foes to combine to make new members and to repair themselves. They are all named after the western zodiac and a star in them.

First up The King Regulus

The image on the left is concept art.

Regulus is very boastful individual. You get the himbo energy of Itto mixed with Childe's I want to fight you energy. He also has another form like childe. He is named after a star in the constellation Leo called Regulus. Regulus has an ability to basically cancel abilities similar to Baal's ability to prevent visions from being used also it has the range of the size of the four wind temple. (Note it's limitation is like that of Aizawa from Mha, He cannot negate the abilities from weapons or change any physical traits.)

This is his second form called Therion Irregular. This is what happens when Regulus gets combined with a splight. In this form, He has ability to steal someone else's abilities and he can use it for himself. It hurts him and makes him lose control and sanity but multiplies his power to the point he can take on every archon at the same time and win. Regulus at base alone can hold the entire island of Celestia for 24 hours or a day.

Meet Lily Borea

She is made out of plant material given by Mardel for the therions protecting the her. Borea is named after a star in the constellation Aries called Lili Borea. Borea can make vines appear out of her body that can really hurt and those vines can be infused with the any element thrown at her except fire which hurts her. She is weak to any form of closed range combat. Personality wise she is very much the tactician of the group. She is very loyal to mardel.

Meet Empress Alasia

She is the second most powerful out of the therions only behind Regulus. She is one of the least likely to fight unless she has to. If she has to, Alasia has an ability known as Empress gaze. When you look into her eyes, she can cause a pain like a migraine that can make your eyes cry blood and make you bleed on the inside. Limitation you must look at her directly in the eyes. Her weakness is similar to that of Medusa's gaze. She is an exception to the 12 zodiac rule. She is named after a star in the constellation called Serpens. Serpens is a constellation of the snake being held by Ophiuchus, the thirteenth constellation. The star is called Alasia. Alasia is the most honest and the most likely to protect against regulus if he goes crazy.

Meet Bull Ain

Ain is named after a star in the constellation Taurus called Ain. Ain is the fastest out of the therions. Fast enough to the point he can break the sound barrier at with a long startup which is ten seconds.

I forgot to mention this is their home. The ufo is the home. It can travel anywhere as long as they have a power source be it heat or any sort of power. If abyssal energy is in contact it might make them neon colored.

#sagau #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau cult au #genshin impact sagau #yugioh x genshin sagau crossover

[moon-kissed-witch]

The signs as things that I did not learn until adulthood

Aries: Schwarzenegger had a himbo era. That's what inspired this post but not why I'm giving it to Aries. You guys just have that energy. Own it, I guess. You might end up being a Governator idfk

Taurus: That plantains are real and not just the sims way of saying banana. I thought this was just the sims creators being silly.

Gemini: Those toads that shoot blood out of their eyes are actually lizards. Also that scorpions are arachnids. And that I will always know less about this general topic than any mountain redneck I've encountered.

Cancer: I still don't really know who Al Gore is. Like, I kinda do, but most of that knowledge comes from South Park. I have learned in adulthood that knowing things like that has very little impact on my life, much to the contrary of what I learned in school, and my brain cells are few in number and already working overtime. I don't think I could learn about this if I tried.

Leo: That I actually am hot af I just have low self esteem. Also that you can push tampons out with your muscles. Flex that sex biiitch

Virgo: Not knowing many adult things is actually not that abnormal and we all Google what to do when something happens. Or we call our parents, friends, or grandma. Then we do our best and that's usually enough.

Libra: The cuter that something is, the more likely it is to destroy your life. Soft fluffy blanket be so fall aesthetic but will kill you from heat stroke at night. Puppies will destroy everything they can and will continue to do so unless you work with them on it. Attractive humans - self explanatory. Not a guarantee it'll ruin your life, but if you have a gambling problem don't get a puppy.

Scorpio: Teen angst doesn't go away it just becomes adult angst about doing the dishes and how you have to work your ass off to pay rent but then you go to the grocery store and think "Fuck, I need trash bags and paper towels" and you come to hold a deep seated hatred for these things. The teen angst that you formerly held for your parents is now transferred to toilet paper.

Sagittarius: If someone is staring at you, stare back. More aggressively. Scare them off. If they're a creep, you've now made them aware that you're aware of them. If they're just rude/judgmental, you've put not only the fear of God in them but the fear of you . You don't have to even do anything. It's about the eye contact. Works every time I'm out in public and someone is annoying me.

Capricorn: If you put the fucking lid down in a port a potty the smell vents out, like it is supposed to because that's why the vent is there in the first place. And every time you've gone into one with the lid up, that smell of nastiness could've been a lil less awful but the other person ruined it. I always knew that if you flush with the lid open you get particles everywhere, including what you wipe your face/body with and what you use to brush your teeth, but I didn't know about the port a potty thing. Now that I do I'm angry at everyone else.

Aquarius: People die while/from shitting way, way more often than I thought would ever be possible. Specifically I learned this because it's very possible that the "lol Elvis died on the toilet" thing is not only true but that due to the combination of both his heart being weakened by substance abuse and that he was trying to push out four months worth of shit, it caused his heart attack. And people also death by diarrhea. It counts for 1 in 9 deaths of children under the age of five worldwide.

Pisces: Buttermilk doesn't actually have butter. I learned this and thought to myself "Did you really just think that it was milk with a stick of butter in it?" only to realize that, yes, that is exactly what I thought. I had never examined this thought further.

#dumbass astrology