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amsgrey · 1 year

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Can you do a story of the Halstead siblings with their younger sister (14 or 15). They all have a family dinner (Will, Jay, and Y/n) together and movie night and Y/n starts choking and Will has to save her but they comfort her and they get all scared and protective and have to take her into the hospital to get checked

Deja Vu

Warnings: Hospital stay, mention of seizures and vague insinuations of epilepsy, terrible writing, not proofread and general bad understanding of medical conditions and procedures lol

read part II here.

Sunday night dinners were Halstead tradition and you liked to think there was nothing that would stop it. That was until one of your brothers had a work emergency and was called in. For the last two weeks, one of your brothers couldn't make it, so as a way of making up for it, they both made sure to be there this Sunday.

As a way of making up got it, Will promised to make mac and cheese and garlic bread. You grinned and claimed it was the best winter comfort food. Jay rolled his eyes, for reasons beyond you he wasn't the biggest fan of Mac and Cheese. He claimed it was because it was all you ate when you were younger and he got sick of only eating it for days on end.

You rolled your eyes, "You can't be related to me."

You were sandwiched between both of your brothers on the couch, watching the game with dinner on your lap. You were tucked under a blanket with fluffy socks and comfy PJ pants on. Jay and Will were focused entirely on the hockey game on the TV. You were chewing on a piece of garlic bread when Jay and Will started cheering at the screen.

You felt like your soul left your body from the fright. You should have been expecting them to start cheering, but you were too engrossed in your garlic bread to realize. You started to chuckle, trying to clear your throat of the garlic bread that had lodged there when you had gasped from the shock.

Will and Jay didn't seem to notice, you were always kind of jumpy. Especially when they started cheering loudly for their team. You coughed a few more times, only succeeding in getting the bread stuck in your throat more. You started to panic, now the bread was choking you fully, blocking the air you kept gasping for.

You coughed a few more times, grabbing Wills forearm and clenching tightly.

"You okay?" Will asked, giving you a few hard pats on the back.

You shook your head, grabbing your chest as your throat started to burn.

"Y/N?" Jay asked, turning his full attention to you and trying to sooth you with a hand on your back.

You were sure the world was moving slowly, the last few seconds were dragging so excruciating slow. Will started to get more worried when you stopped coughing, not gasping at all. He quickly got to his feet, pulling you up off the couch and trying to dislodge the bread with the heimlich. In the process you were sure he moved all of your organs but it was a fleeting thought that flashed through your oxygen deprived mind.

"Will, it's not working," Jay said, standing in front of you with a terrified look.

"I know, Jay," Will said back, just as panicked, "I know."

By now, you were sure thing were slowing down. In the corner of your eyes you could see the hockey game continuing, but it was like the the player were moving at half the speed they normally did. The sounds of the room started the echo and distort, your brain fighting your lungs for oxygen and not able to win.

Eventually, Wil gave up on the heimlich. Feeling you grow more and more limp in his arms. His brain was clouded with his own panic, he had to fight himself to help you and not freeze in terror. He lay you down on the ground, watching your face that was filled with panic.

He pressed two fingers to your neck, feeling your racing pulse beneath his fingertips.

"Jay," Will called, "I need you to get me a knife and a pen."

Jay hesitated, "A pen-?"

"Yes!" Will shouted back, "Just do it!"

Jay rushed out of the room. WIll could hear him frantically opening drawers and rummaging through them. Moments later he came back with the knife and pen, shoving the knife towards Will and waiting for his further instructions.

Jay had seen enough things on the job to know what was coming next. He watched you pass out, completely limp on the floor at his knees. Will ordered him to unscrew the pen, then get on the phone with 911 and get an ambulance there straight away.

Jay did what he was told, watching as Will cranked his little sister with the little supplies he had on hand. When Will had finished his makeshift crank, he breathed a few breathes into the pen to try prompt your body to breathe for itself.

What felt like an entirenity later there was a loud knock on the door. Jay raced to the door to let the two paramedics in.

"Dr Halstead?" Brett asked, shocked to see him hovering over his little sisters limp body.

Will started to rattle off what had happened, but he stumbled over his words unable to fully explain. He worked in a high pressure environment every day but now he was struggling to get the words out to help his own sister. Brett and Violet weren't at all fazed, just immediately started working. Jay and Will helped them transfer you to the stretcher then the ambulance.

Will climbed into the back, vaguely registering Jay say he would follow in his truck. Will's mind was racing, he wasn't sure exactly how long it took before he could get you oxygen again. It felt like forever, but it couldn't have been more than 4 minutes. What if it was 5? Will knew the likelihood of a hypoxic brain injury increased significantly after 3 minutes, he had no idea how this would turn out.

The drive to Med felt even slower, Will fumbled with his phone to call ahead to Maggie, knowing she would have things prepared.

"Hey Will," Maggie answered, the sounds of the ED almost overpowering her voice.

"Maggie," Will's voice broke, "i- uh"

Will had to pause, compose himself.

"I'm on the way with Y/n, she- uh, she choked. I need abrams," Will stuttered.

Maggie was silent on the other end for a few seconds, "How far out are you?"

Will relayed the question to Brett in the front, who called back, "4 minutes!"

"We'll be ready, Will," Maggie said.

Jay hadn't left your bedside the whole night. After getting you to med, Dr Abrams had completed a neurological exam that had given Jay a sickening sense of Deja Vu. It felt so much like what they had gone through with your dad. You had only been 6 when he had died, you knew nothing about what was happening. Jay and Will had to try and shelter you from it all. But now Jay had the same sinking feeling.

The only thing that was keeping him sane was the way Dr Abrams had said your results were promising.

Will came and stayed for a few hours, before an emergency had Ms Goodwin asking for his help in the ED. It didn't bother Jay, he knew Will was just outside the doors should he need him.

It was almost 3 in the morning when the monitors started beeping in a strange symphony. Jay looked over at the array of screens, but he knew nothing about what was going on. He got up quickly, pulling open the door and calling for Maggie.

Maggie took one look and sent over Dr Archer, ordering himaroudn while she paged Abrams.

Dr Archer took one look at the screens and declared, "She's overbreathing the vent."

He headed to the screen nearby, punching in some numbers or whatever he needed to do. Jay was more focused on you and how you were. He only looked up when Will came bounding into the room followed by Dr Abrams.

They conversed and decided on trialing taking you off the ventilator, knowing there would be a risk but ultimately it was worth it. Extubation went well, Dr Archer sutured the hastily cut crank and promised to check in later. Abrams had hovered as well, he mentioned something about a test but that he would have to transfer you to the neuro floor to run it.

Jay nodded along but understood little of what was being said. Will handled the doctor talk, just gently guiding Jay about what was happening once everyone had left the room.

Will stood at the end of the bed, "Doesn't this give you Deja Vu?"

Jay looked from your peaceful face and then to Will, "I can't do this again, Will. I can't."

Will nodded, he walked around the bed and pressed a hand to your forehead, smoothing back your hair from your face, "I won't let it."

When you finally came round your brothers had to use every ounce self control not to pull you into the tightest hug.

You smiled and gave a little finger wave, but were too exhausted to do much else. Jay pressed a kiss to your forehead, muttering about being relieved that you were okay. You let out a quiet reply but couldn't muster much of an answer.

Will did pull you into a gentle hug, holding you close but being careful not to squash you. He pulled away with a big grin, you could see the relief in his eyes.

Will relayed information to you about how Dr Abrams wanted to observe you overnight on the Neuro floor but that hopefully you would be able to. gohome soon after. You were much too exhausted to complain or argue, just nodding along and letting them transfer you upstairs.

Jay refused to leave your side, he stayed right beside you for as long as he could. You had gone back to sleep after being transferred and Jay hovered the whole time holding your hand or stroking your hair off your face.

Will came in at 5 am with coffees, dressed for his upcoming shift.

"How is she?" He asked, handing his brother the coffee.

Jay sighed, "Tired but okay I think."

Will nodded, taking a seat opposite Jay and looking over you, "She'll be okay."

Jay could only nod.

Your brothers watched you sleep for a few more moments before Dr Abrams came in and interrupted the peace.

"Dr Halstead," Dr Abrams started. It woke you up with a fright, the sudden noise clearing the drowsiness from your brain.

"Hey, hey," Will grabbed your hand and cradled your cheek with his other hand, "It's okay. Take it easy."

Will smiled as you relaxed again, sucking in a deep breath.

You let out a small yawn, "Sorry, i just... got..."

Will frowned as you paused in the middle of your sentence, staring off into space instead of looking at him like you were before.

"Y/N?" he said, trying to draw your attention back to him.

After a few seconds you blinked a few times, looking back at your brother and frowning, "What?"

Will looked startled, he looked from you to Dr Abrams, who looked just as surprised as Will.

Abrams came around the bed and stood at your side, "Y/N, can you tell me what just happened?"

You just looked at him with a frown.

Abrams gestured for Will to follow him out of the room, "I think what we just witnessed was an absence seizure."

Will scrubbed a hand down his face, "So what do we do?"

"We do an EEG, hope that it's a temporary symptom of the Anoxic Injury."

"But you don't think it's temporary do you," Will pressed. He worked with Abrams enough to know his bad news face.

"I don't," Abrams confirmed, "I've had patients who have TBI's have epileptic seizures."

Will couldn't form words, unable to even respond to Dr Abrams.

"Will," Jay stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him and crossing his arms sternly. "What's going on?"

#will halstead x reader #will halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #halstead brothers #halstead!reader #halstead sister #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x sister!reader #one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #chicago med x reader #chicago med imagine #chicago med #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd imagine

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quitealotofsodapop · 4 months

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Wukong, sitting on Nez Ha's shoulders as he screams in General Li Jing's face: YOU DAMN WELL BETTER FIND A DIFFERENT SOLUTION FOR THIS SHIT, GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, AND ACT LIKE THE GENERLA YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AND NOT THE FUCKING COWARD YOU'RE ACTING LIKE NOW BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THAT STUPID RHINO PIECE IF SHIT IN SINGLE COMBAT IM COMING AFTER YOUR ASS!

General Ji Ling: Don't you dare call me a coward! Especially when you are the cowardly one in this situation to deny an honorable duel!

Wukong, even louder and more pissed off: IN WHAT WAY IS A HEAVILY PREGNANT PERSON NOT WANTING TO RISK THEIR GODDAMN BABY BY FIGHTING A GIANT RHINO DEMON A COWARDLY THING TO DO!? GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING YOU SON OF A *INSERT BAD WORD*, BEFOFE I SHOW YOU HOW 'COWARDLY' THIS EXPECTANT MOTHER REALLY IS!!!

Needless to say, General Li Jing gets his shit together, and there's a new joke amongst the barracks

referencing this post.

I just love the imagery of Nezha holding Sun Wukong like that since, in Wukong's mind, Nezha's still a kid and it's reasonable that he's freaking out after getting his weapons taken away - he's a cub after all, no reason to yell at him for getting scared.

In the "open" Jttw Stone Egged au; Mac's just standing next to his mate with a proud shit-eating grin. Like "Heck yeah! My mate is so fierce and wise! Y'all can't measure up to him in a fist fight." He loves it when his mate goes off on celestials. <3

Mac eventually just sneaks in via the shadow under the cave door and kills the Rhino King in his sleep. Lao Tzu was disappointed/upset, Mac didn't care - hows it feel to have the fate of someone you care about in the hands of another, jerk?

It becomes a joke amongst the celestials that General Li Jing was shown up by a pair of mated monkeys (one pregnant) while unarmed. He glares at any soldier that dares make a comment about it.

Celestial Soldier: "So... arm wrestling competition. The General or the King?" Thunder Spirit: "The King definently. You saw how close he was to crapping himself when he got the pagoda taken away. Even in his current state, I bet Sun Wukong could fold him like origami." Fire Dragon: "Absolutely. Whilst me and my fellow dragons were captured by the Ring, the monkey was willing to confront the Rhino demon head on in battle whilst General Li coward." Macaque, on the ground miles below: *smiling and tail swishing proudly for his King*

Mac doesn't even bother rubbing it in that he succeeded where the armies of heaven failed. He's too happy that Wukong finally give the general a piece of his mind.

#jttw stone egged au #stone egg talk #sun wukong #pregnancy tw #lmk nezha #lmk li jing #shadowpeach #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk aus #jttw #jttw aus #journey the west

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itsclydebitches · 1 year

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Jonelias thought of the day is that Elias must come across as so stuffy and boring to those at the Institute - which, you know, very much helps hide his true nature - but as an avatar of the Eye and a man determined to avoid the End, Elias is someone whose entire being revolves around the interplay of knowledge and experiences. He's compelled to Know it all and his efforts to avoid death invite him to Experience it all too, a fascinating combination of passive observer and, by virtue of being a 200+ year-old in search of true immortality, an active participant too. This is a man whose longevity and thirst for knowledge invites an obsession with life that contradicts the 'Sits in his office doing nothing but spreadsheets all day' image he's learned to cultivate. (Though, to be clear, he does love the spreadsheets.) And I don't just mean "obsession with life" in the sense of him avoiding the finality of death, but actually loving the act of being alive.

I think a lot of what the fandom (rightly) jokes about in regards to his characterization is a reflection of that obsession. Elias has a relationship with Peter Lukas that goes far beyond the cold practicality of an alliance, hinting at a romance (if you steer towards a LonelyEyes reading), or just Elias' desire to still be able to place bets with someone while he's trying to end the world. Similarly, his powers ensure that he's never truly alone - if he dies, he takes the rest of the Archive with him - forever supplying him with a warped companionship that doesn't threaten him like he perceives he was threatened as Jonah Magnus, with his acquaintances working to complete their own rituals. In true Beholding style, he's got the heart of a fucked-up scientist who's endlessly curious about the world around him: 'Oooh what happens if I let my friend waste away in the Lonely?' He shows up at Jon's birthday party not just to secretly gloat and keep an eye on things (ha), but because he legitimately wants cake. Who wouldn't want cake? What's the point of living forever if you can't have cake?? Well, for an avatar the exquisite sweetness of fear is just as good, but my point stands. Beyond his fear of death, that enjoyment is at the heart of Elias' goal, with Jon describing his experience as the Pupil as a kind of agonized bliss and Elias confirming this by saying he was having the most wonderful dream. Morality aside, he likes interacting with the horror of the Entities, something we saw all the way back during the "[PLEASURED EXHALATION]" scene. Learning new things feels good. Experiencing news things is enjoyable. Learning and experiencing Bad Things is especially nice given his patron. Consistently, Elias' setbacks are met with interest, or a mild annoyance that then eventually settles into satisfaction because they are also new experiences for him and the Eye: going to jail, getting to psychologically torture Martin, having his own secrets exposed. There's a lot throughout the series to imply that Elias enjoys watching Jon become the Key, not just because it means he's succeeding in his goals, but because there's genuine interest and pride in seeing him "grow" by Elias' standards. The repetition of "our world," "our patron," etc. implies a connection; the intention to experience this new world with another, to enjoy it rather than simply exist in it for the mere sake of existence. Elias is a man whose entire essence boils down to, "I NEED TO KNOW ALL THE THINGS, EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING, AND LIVE FOREVER WHILE ACHIEVING THAT, TO UNDERSTAND IT ALL SO I CAN CONTROL IT ALL AND HAVE A DAMN GOOD TIME IN THE PROCESS, EVEN WHILE I SUCCUMB TO THE PRIMAL FEAR THAT DRIVES ME I WILL PARADOXICALLY EMBRACE IT, AND YEAH THAT'S LARGELY BECAUSE I SERVE THE LITERAL GOD OF JUDGY SURVEILLANCE BUT ALSO THAT'S JUST ME."

So anyway, I keep thinking about how this characterization could intersect with S1-2 Jon: prickly, awkward, semi-isolated, desperate to be recognized by someone whose authority he believes in. AKA the boss who, at an unprecedented young age, rose to the top of the Institute they both work at, perceived by those around him as far less interesting than he actually is. Parallels, anyone? Imagine Jon getting to really talk to Elias, realizing how much he has to offer after 200 years of life (though of course he doesn't know that), and just constantly being blindsided by not just the knowledge, but the enthusiasm for everything he's learned and been through - the good and the horrifyingly awful that, despite himself, Jon is equally drawn to. Elias recognizes every quote Jon drops into a conversation and has another witty line to pair it with. He doesn't just indulge his nerdy rambles, but participates in them. He's refined in all the ways that Jon expects - books, opera, music, etc. - and also casually drops in references to acid trips and fucking orgies. Imagine an early series Jon who forms a strong bond with Elias outside of the web (ha x2) he's been weaving, becoming dependent on his friendship and just a little bit completely in love. Elias is inherently fascinating, but he's also just Some Guy, and the combination of that is just perfect for a necrotic Archivist who simultaneously wants to be guided by his 'betters' and prove that he's an equal. Why Elias would be interested in turn barely needs stating: Jon is literally Elias' everything, in a horrifyingly tragic and like, Gothic Romance sense? What would that kind of relationship have changed? It would have likely made Elias' job even easier, but what about Jon?

...I'm not saying that Jon's drive to protect humanity would have been warped into something tragically dangerous if he'd first come to see his intelligent, complex, shockingly kind (from his nonexistent self-esteem POV), secretly-an-eldritch-monster boss as the epitome of humanity... but I'm also not saying it couldn't have!

#TMA #The Magnus Archives #Jonelias #this is so rambly I'm sorry #I'm just having a lot of feelings about these two #Jon deserves a corruption arc that he's convinced himself is a hero's journey #as a treat #also I keep thinking about Elias' refusal to define a human #and the Witcher line about Regis - a vampire - being the best of humanity #can a monster be human?#sure why not #especially when so many humans are already monstrous #I just want Jon to rule under a horrifically misguided idea of which humans are worth protecting #his wonderful desire to protect molded into not just the key that will end the world #but the thing that perpetuates its torment #as! a! treat!

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recurring-polynya · 6 months

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My Top 5 Bleach Filler Characters, Appropos of Nothing

5. Inaba Kagerouza, Reigai Arc

Inaba is, simply put, the pinnacle of Soul Society worldbuilding. He's got this long dramatic backstory and a bunch of rage bottled up in his chest, but also a guy needs a paycheck, so he's just been doing the R&D grind for a hundred years. He knows a shit-ton about the Dangai, which is relevant to his evil scheme, but it's also just his day job (also the Dangai owns, I want a PhD in "the Dangai"). No one else in Squad 12 seems to have the least bit of beef with him, even after he builds an evil duplicate of every person in the Gotei. Unlike a lot of mad scientist characters, he's good with his weapon. Maybe he's weirdly jacked under his villainous smock?? Also, his evil scheme was generally well thought out, and took into account the fact that the Gotei is a bunch of buffoons. ngl, I kinda wish his plan had succeeded, if only for the fact that it would probably really piss Aizen off.

4. Ran'Tao, Bount Arc

Everything about Ran'Tao owns, including:

Sexy glasses

Condemned so hard by the Central 46 that they gave her a kidou seal back tattoo

KIDOU. SHOTGUN.

Stabbed Kariya in the gut

Noped out at the end of the arc because Who Needs the Gotei's Shit?

3. Kuchiki Kouga, Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc I think that when you hear the story about how Byakuya was forbidden from marrying Hisana because she was a commoner, you're supposed to feel this great sense of injustice, like wow! Byakuya actually showed character by standing up for his love! And that's great and all, and then you get the Zanpakutou Rebellion Vintage Kuchiki Bullshit Flashbacks and it's like, oh, the last guy they married into the clan mass murdered a bunch of people and then they had to seal him up in a cave and I feel like that's an important piece of context in the entire Kuchiki Family-Being-a-Bitch-About-Who-Byakuya-Marries debacle.

Which isn't to exonerate the Kuchiki, here! It's very clear that Kouga wasn't that bad before he got pushed over the brink by Kuchiki family machinations. I mean, this is very much an Everyone's The Asshole situation.

I love the fact that they never come out and say that Kouga is Byakuya's uncle, but he's very obviously Byakuya's uncle.

I love the fact that he dramatically cut his kenseikan off with his sword and threw them at Ginrei and they made a gree card of it.

I love that he appears to be exactly Renji's height and has one chunk of hair that is the same color as Renji's and he over-accessorizes horrifically, and at best the Squad Six old-timer's had to be like "Byakuya don't do this to us again" when he hired Renji, and at worst there's a chance that Renji the secret baby that was born after Kouga was banished and he was hidden away in the Rukon so he didn't screw up the succession line but he's actually the true Heir to the Kuchiki.

2. Harugasaki Seizo, standalone episode 313 This dude had a homoerotic rivalry with Ikkaku (doomed, of course, because who could compete with Yumichika?), lost his shinigami powers when he took a blow meant for Ikkaku, and then spent the next hundred years putting his entire pussy into doing laundry for Squad 11. This man invented yearning, even if he did choose the worst possible person in the history of ever as the target of his affection.

1. Amagai Shuusuke, New Captain Shuusuke Amagai Arc He looks like Ross Poldark. He can't hold his liquor. No one knows who witnessed his Captain's Exam. Ukitake and Kyouraku tried to talk him into a threesome. He was nice to Kira. His bankai was a tuba that made a foghorn noise when it belched out fire. His dad was the shinigami equivalent of a narc, who got done dirty by the Captain-Commander. He fought the Dangai Cleaner and won. I love him more than anything.

Honorable Mention: Kenryuu and Enryuu, New Captain Shuusuke Amagai Arc Because they are an important reminder that for all the shinigami buffoonery I am forced to witness, day in and day out, some people graduate from Shin'ou, get shikai even, and still can't get hired by the Gotei.

#bleach filler #these are just my own cursed opinions you're under no obligation to share them #kenryuu and enryuu are also here because my husband loves them for absolutely no reason #i was trying to do this post out loud for him and i got to about no 3 and he was like 'kenryuu and enryuu right???' and i was like 'no dear #he also says they are married and will not hear arguments on this topic #i found (1) person on tumblr drawing seizo fanart and i respect that person to the bottom of my heart #i knew renji barely remembered seizo but imma write him into my squad 11 fanfic that i'm never going to finish see if i don't #procrastinating from my fanfic in some really epic ways today lads

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deardoomedworld · 4 months

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Talking about how affable yet ruthless Inayat "tyrant of love" Khan is has made me start thinking about Jesper and how prickly he is. He's so mean, even purposefully vicious - think of how he talks to Anita when he leaves, and how after that harrowing conversation, he's literally fantasising about how he could've been even meaner - he seems to find some sort of satisfaction/relief in being mean, in the little bit of power and control it temporarily gives him (over someone else's emotions, which is better than nothing when you feel powerless).

When we first meet them as adults, Jesper seems more detached from the other two (or alternatively, Khan and Tereesz seem closer), not just because of an earlier falling out with Khan but because he seems more put together. Tereesz' and Khan's careers/lives are more obviously shaped by their childhood trauma, while Jesper is succesful, rich, and famous. He seems better adjusted and perhaps like he moved on more than the others. Jesper's jabs towards Tereesz and Khan (think of how he tells them that them visiting the Lund girls' mother is sad/pathetic while he did the same thing; or the "those of us whose profession does not include ditches and missing children" comment) seem specifically meant to make himself look more normal. He's wearing white. He's not sullied.

This is of course just a facade. Later on in the book, it becomes clear (at least that's my interpretation) that Jesper is just as, if perhaps not more fucked up than the others, and keeps them at arms length because he's trying to hide this. His privilege - his wealth and his looks (as a blonde, blue-eyed Vaasan) - plays a big role in him succeeding in this. The other two are constantly reminded that they're immigrants, and already have to put in more effort than Jesper just to be treated normally (Tereesz is very good at this when he's not inebriated, as he seems to have dumped a bunch of skill points in composure & authority. Khan not so much), let aside when they're unraveling.

But back to his prickly exterior, his meanness. I find it interesting that as unlikeable as he is, he also seems to completely break down once Tereesz gets shot. He builts a little tomb for Tereesz' gun and then sets off to, apparently, do coke for two months and then disappear himself (we get a nice close-up of his passport, his identity, burning up before he enters the Lungs of Graad). As much as he mocked Tereesz and Khan, he seemed completely on board to leave his life behind and go with Khan's plan, but then he just abandons that after the events or chapter 18. Because... "It's become too morbid for Jesper."

Behind his likeability, Khan is revealed to be somewhat ruthless- there's nothing he won't do for this cause, nothing that can stand in his way. Jesper, vicious as he was, breaks down quickly, because his meanness was for hiding vulnerability. He was trying so hard to be normal. ("This is sad? It's all totally great!") The Ibex English translation uses the word morbid a few times, and it's often in relation to Jesper. ("I don't collect anything, you morbos.") So, behind his prickliness, is Jesper the one made of mushier stuff, who can't handle the bad stuff well? The soft one who just breaks, in the end? The sentimental one, holding onto scrunchies and service weapons.

It's counterintuitive because he's so mean, but maybe Jesper is in white because he's more innocent, more childlike? ("To this day, he hates adult sexuality. (...) Realistically, and in a paradoxical way, this makes him a p*dophile.") After all, if you search the word white through the Ibex translation, almost all instances of its use are used to refer to a Lund girl, or Jesper.

Is. Is this anything.

#sacred and terrible air #püha ja õudne lõhn #jesper de la guardie #pjol theories #oh my god a Jesper post from the Tereesz apologist???#it's more likely than you think!#the sofa where Khan and Machejek felt uncomfortable is white #I think there's also a connection between Jesper in white and his nihilism #similar to Zigi's white stripes #but I really wanted to talk about this instead #maybe someone else can explore his nihilism #also thinking of Khan as the nice one Jesper the mean one #and Tereesz whatever the situation demands bc he sees himself as a tool not a person

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sflow-er · 3 months

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Regarding your August and justice reply, I don't think you take in consideration what August wants when you say you hope he gets helps and realises he's been damaging others. Especially because he is well aware of the long lasting damages he has caused and other than being scared of being found and facing consequences, he hasn't shown to regret or be sorry for the pain and suffering he's responsible of. He's sorry his wrongdoings could cause him problems if found out.

I don't think he'll get any kind of judicial nor poetic justice. I think he'll be shown to kept in his way for the rest of his life, maybe not protected by the crown, but he won't let go of his habits not because he can't be rehabilitated. But because he doesn't want rehabilitatio. And you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

That's my favourite thing about August, actually: he is conscious of who he is and I don't believe anything can change his ways. Not even love. Opposite to Wille's journey where love changed it all.

About sullying wilmon's eventual happy ending? I think they deserve to be happy away from August's perceived toxicity but also, being away from him would be the only justice they could get.

TL;DR: I think August represents traditions and the nobility and that cannot be changed. Because they don't want to be changed. Just as August who enjoys his 'bad ways' and which make him such a compelling character to other too good characters like Simon or Wille.

I assume you're the original anon - thank you for getting back to me! EDIT: I stand corrected! Thanks for chiming in, August anon 2!

I understand your position, and I agree with parts of it. I'm going to put a cut here in case someone sees this who doesn't want to read any speculation on S3 - I wouldn't say there are any spoilers below, but I don't want to ruin anything for anyone.

The start of your text actually aligns with what I mean when I say August doesn't fully understand the gravity of his actions or regret the harm he caused to Simon. I just don't believe he understands the long-lasting damage he caused. I think August's demeanour when the damage to Simon comes up and sometimes even when talking to Wille suggests that he doesn't truly get why people are making such a big deal out of the video. He wanted to hurt Wille and Simon, he understands that he succeeded, and he understands that he betrayed Wille. However, I think there are many aspects to it that he, as an incredibly privileged and emotionally immature straight man, simply cannot understand. Such as the fact that the video will come up for the rest of Simon's life when applying to jobs and such, or that outing Wille to the world and subjecting him to homophobic hate etc. was nowhere near proportionate to Wille's humiliation of him in front of their peers. We agree that August hasn't shown much remorse. I do think it's possible he feels some genuine regret for the pain he caused Wille, who is a member of his family and someone he was meant to be loyal to, because that's the kind of damage he's been taught to consider. But he doesn't feel as much regret on a more general human decency level, especially for Simon. You are right that most of his regret is purely based on his fear of punishment, and that isn't the kind of regret that can lead to emotional growth. As to your points about August not wanting to change his ways... It's true that he hasn't wanted to so far, but I reject the idea that he couldn't still realise he needs to. The fact is that August already voiced to Sara in S2 that he felt like there was "something wrong inside his head" and that he felt like "the worst person in the world", and he clearly wasn't doing well in between Lucia and the start of their relationship. If he ends up back in that headspace in S3, after the experience of having been expected to take responsibility for the first time in his life and without the miracle solution of the crown being dangled in front of him... I do think it's still possible for him to reach a point where he finally chooses differently. Whether that's him hitting rock bottom, being forced to talk to a counsellor as part of a legal punishment, realising that the breathing exercise Sara taught him and potentially having to care for Rousseau helps him, or something else. On that note, I would also like to push back just a tiny bit on what you said about love changing everything for Wille and nothing for August. Simon's love acted as the catalyst for Wille's change, but the change only happened when the internal processes sparked by that love and his own betrayal of it had run their course. He also needed counselling to get there.

We don't know yet if Sara's love or August's betrayal of that love ends up catalysing anything in him. Not in terms of winning her back, but in terms of highlighting the contrast between her kindness and desire to hold him accountable for his failings vs. his own and his family's unkindness and lack of accountability. That remains to be seen in S3.

As you said, the alternative is for August to stick to his bad ways for the rest of his life - and as I tried to say without saying it directly, I fear his life may not be very long if he does. We've already seen him physically punishing himself for his failings, both with overexertion and not eating, so we know he is prone to self-harm. He's also addicted to the ADHD meds, just like his father was addicted to whatever it was. We know Carl Johan chose to take his own life in the face of ruin, and that August idolises him and must've been brought up with the same kind of worldview.

So, August is displaying some serious warning signs of going down the same path as his father, and unless we get at least some signs to the contrary before the credits roll on the finale, I don't think I personally can find any joy in his defeat/fall from grace. Again, I don't mean we need to see his growth in the show or that I want to see him forgiven by his victims in S3. They certainly deserve to be rid of his toxicity, and even if he does decide to change his ways, he's got a very long road ahead.

But I understand that you feel differently and place more weight on August not wanting to change! It's a very good point that he represents harmful traditions and the nobility, and any change he undergoes would also represent some kind of change to those institutions. Liking his character as the toxic relic that he's been thus far is extremely valid.

Personally, I think August realising that he needs to break free of the toxicity would be a way of 'breaking the wheel.' Either showing that these institutions can be changed after all, similar to how Wille started enacting change at Hillerska in S2 when he encouraged the first-years to rebel...or simply showing again that these institutions hurt even the people who seemingly benefit from them, and when freed, even they can grow and heal.

Please know I don't mean to invalidate your stance in any way! I think it just comes down to the types of conclusions that the show wants to leave us with.

[As a final sidebar, I have to say that I respectfully disagree about Simon and Wille being "too good characters" as you put it. I think they have some morally grey sides as well, the same as most other characters in the show, which is what makes them so very human. But that's a whole other discussion!]

Phew, this got really long... I'm not even going to attempt to summarise it but I hope it made sense. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

#young royals #yr s3 speculation #young royals speculation #august horn #august horn of årnäs #young royals analysis #cw self harm #cw suicide #august anon discourse

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seospicybin · 1 year

Text

ONE SUMMER NIGHT.

A chapter of Pied Piper.

Changbin x reader. (s,f)

Synopsis: The heat of the summer gets to you and your boyfriend, Changbin in both good and bad ways. (5,5k words)

Author's note: This is a part of Pied Piper that didn't make it on the fic and I love writing this couple so much, I think I'll write another chapter of them :)

Changbin has no problem seeing you in that short skirt and a white t-shirt.

The more skin he can see, the more delighted he is, especially knowing that he is your boyfriend, there's a sense of pride in letting people know that.

Heck! He wishes the whole world knows that he is your boyfriend.

That's how much he likes being your boyfriend. Something about you that makes him feel fulfilled and contented that he doesn't need anything else but you, just you.

"It's so hot tonight!"

You keep complaining about the heat of the summer the whole night and hate the idea of sleeping over at his place.

Thanks to his charms, he succeeded in persuading you to stay the night with him with the promise that he'll drive you to the studio in the morning to finish your paintings.

Changbin gets out of the bathroom to see you standing only in your underwear and taking out one of his t-shirts from the closet.

He whistles at the sight he sees, "if it's too hot maybe we should sleep naked tonight," he teases, teeth faintly biting his lower lip.

You ignore his remark and put on a sleeveless white t-shirt of his, the piece of clothing hangs loosely on you with holes on the side showing glimpses of your breasts.

"You wish!" You finally respond as you close the door to his closet.

Even with the air conditioner blasting cool air into the room, you still find it uncomfortable sleeping so close to each other and Changbin just can't keep his hands off of you even for a mere second.

There's adequate space as he hovers above you but as he keeps kissing you, his weight starts to press on you.

"It's hot," you say against his lips.

He smirks, "you are hot."

You lowly chuckle and slowly push him away, "I don't think I can sleep in this heat," you complain again.

Changbin reluctantly lets go and lies next to you, despite the urge to continue kissing you is too hard to resist.

"Then we should sleep without the blanket," he suggests.

"But I can't sleep without a blanket," you grumble and hold on to the blanket afraid that he would take it away from you.

He then thinks of another way to cool you down because it seems that the heat affects your mood as well, "should we have ice cream? I think we have a pint in the fridge," he offers another idea.

A smile rises on your face and you eagerly nod.

Changbin makes a quick trip downstairs and rummages through the freezer for ice cream that he swears he saw when he looked for his frozen chicken breast this morning. He can't find the pint of ice cream but found a popsicle, it's better than nothing he thinks.

He rushes back upstairs and finds you sitting on the bed waiting for him. He watches you eating the popsicle with a smile on his face, he refuses when you offer him a bite, "No, you can have it!"

"Just take a bite!" You insist and feed it to him, grinning as he obeys you.

He helps you wipe the mess on your face and put the trash away before coming back to bed, "how do we feel?"

You nod, "much, much better!"

"Can I cuddle you now?"

“Okay.”

You let him wrap his hands around you as you nuzzle your head into his chest, in his warm embrace. You look up and pull his chin down to kiss him, "Goodnight!"

He gives you a long, lingering kiss in return, "Goodnight!"

Changbin wakes up to the rustling sounds of someone going through his things in his bedroom.

Feeling alert, his eyes snap awake to find his housemate looking for something in his drawer and he notices that Changbin has waking up.

"Can I borrow your charger cable? I broke mine again!" He says, closing the drawer and searching for it in the lower drawer.

Changbin scrambles getting up from his bed and pulls the blanket to cover... wait, you're not there on the bed.

"My girlfriend..."

"Your girlfriend left early in the morning saying she was late for something and told me to tell you to pick her up later," his housemate informs him.

He reaches for his phone and checks the time, it's quarter past ten in the morning when he's supposed to drive you to the studio at 8. He slaps his forehead and groans, "I screwed up! I was supposed to drive her..." he trails his words and collapses back onto the bed.

"She didn't seem mad though," his housemate says.

"Yeah?"

"But she looked rather furious!" His housemate replies with a laugh.

Changbin throws a pillow at him, sending him reeling to the side, "buy a new charger cable!" He shouts at him.

He doesn't want to be late to pick you up, he knows you'll be out at 4 from your extra class, you've been busy finishing your series of paintings for your final project. He waits outside by his car, it baffles him how some people are still checking him out when the whole campus knows he stops being the playboy slash heartbreaker since he started dating you.

He stops seeing the others ever since, he doesn't feel the need to so why should he?

The sun is ready to set when you finally come out of the class, walking toward him while hoisting the strap of your bag on one shoulder.

He walks up to meet you in the middle and hugs you, "I'm sorry I didn't drive you this morning," he sincerely apologizes.

You briefly kiss him on the cheek and smile, "that's okay."

He knows you've been cutting him a lot of slacks, it's not the first time he made blunders like this, he had done few and you let him off easily. He guesses you know that he's still learning to do boyfriend things properly.

He unlocks the car and you get into the passenger's side, turning your body to his side to put your bag on the backseat of the car.

That's when he sees it, you're wearing nothing under your white t-shirt that he can see your nipples poking through the fabric.

He holds you by the shoulder and takes a clearer look, he slides his hand down your chest to feel your soft mound.

You laugh at what he just did and how he just went for it, "there's a time and place for that!" You say, then put his hand away.

"You're not wearing a bra!" He innocently says like he hasn't seen you naked before.

"I was in a rush this morning. I think I left it in your room," you answer and hold his hand on your lap.

It confuses him a lot, how can someone forget to put on an undergarment? That doesn't make sense to him.

"You forgot? To put it on?"

You stifle a nod, confused by how confused he sounded.

"How?"

You shrug, "I don't know. I just did."

"You went to class like this?"

You nod again and crack a laugh, "why this is confuses you so much?"

"How can you forget to put on your bra?" He asks with pure confusion drawn on his face.

"Why? You never forgot to put on something when you're in a hurry?"

"Well, I did forget to put on something but never forgot to put on my underwear," he answers rather too aggressively.

You snort because why this has to be an issue, putting your safety belt on instead and let the argument slide, "let's just go!”

Changbin has been excited to meet his old friend, knowing that his friend also has a girlfriend, they decide to do a double date and have dinner together tonight.

He has no problem with your appearance but he's not going to let you meet him like this, with all of your tits hanging out for his friend to see. He's a man after all, even though he has a girlfriend something like this is just irresistible.

He parks the car and takes his leather jacket from the backseat, he hands it to you.

"Here, put it on!" He orders.

You heavily sigh with your shoulders slumped, "but it's hot," you whine.

He drops the leather jacket onto your lap, "Just put it on, please?"

You sigh again but recognizing his displeasure, you decide to give in to him, putting the leather jacket on before getting out of the car.

You're warm even from walking across the parking lot, but Changbin has been talking about meeting this friend of his for days. You convince yourself that you can hold out the heat for a few hours, for the sake of his and everyone's convenience.

The dinner went well and Changbin's friend is so friendly and delightful, they insist on paying the bill even though Changbin offered to pay for it first. He lost the chance after settling the matter in the most mature way that is with a round of rock-paper-scissor.

You are thankful that the night ends after the dinner and there's no second round because the boyfriends have to drive their girlfriend home safely.

You immediately shrug the leather jacket off once you get in the car and throw it to the backseat with a slight annoyance, you blast the AC on, sighing in relief as the cool air blows your moist skin from the sweat.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" Changbin asks.

The night is still young but going somewhere else means you have to put the leather jacket on again, "I'm tired, just take me home," you say.

You didn't mean to make it sound harsh, but you are slightly annoyed and if this keeps going, it would only do both of you no good.

Changbin knows that your mood turns a little sour since that little argument happened back at the campus parking lot. He knows that forcing you to put on his leather jacket only worsens your mood, he knows you well enough to know that you hate being forced to do something.

Is it wrong for him to want to protect you? You're so attractive and people can't help staring at you but it's not you that he has a problem with, it's the other people.

A part of him likes showing you off while the other part of him wants you selfishly just for himself.

Will you let him off easily too this time? That's what he's been thinking of the whole ride to your apartment.

You've been quiet from the moment you got out of his car, you ditch the elevator and take the emergency stairs instead as if you can't stand waiting for it to arrive with him.

He also doesn't why he acts this childishly. Truthfully, he has been aware of all the subtle changes in him ever since he's dating you, for better or worse, he can't tell which.

He follows you climbing up the stairs, looking at your short skirt swinging. If he didn't think of the possibility that what he did is unforgivable, he would be enjoying this view with pleasure.

He just can't, his heart is not at ease.

"Hey, should we order some shaved ice? You know, the strawberry one you like so much," he offers because food is always a good idea to win you over.

You don't answer but keep climbing the stair while dragging your bag with you.

He takes the bag from you and he sees the wet patch on your t-shirt right there on your chest, you've been sweating and he feels bad for it, "I'll carry it for you."

You let him take it from you without saying anything and continue walking up the stairs as he walks by your side.

The silence starts to irritate him so much that he finally asks, "Are you mad?"

It takes you a few seconds to answer, "No."

"Then why are you so quiet?"

"I'm just tired," you weakly answer.

He grabs your hand and stops you there, on the base of the stairs between the third and the fourth floor.

"I know you're mad, it's okay," he says to you with an apologetic look on his face.

You take a breath before answering him, "I just don't get why you're so angry just because I forgot to put on a bra."

Maybe he should have explained it earlier before you take it the wrong way, "It's not about that, I know you forgot to put it on. I only have problems with people who stare at you, you know I don't like it when they do" He explains as calmly as possible.

"You know I wouldn't forget to put it on if I didn't get up late for class and you drive me there," you say to him, you don't raise your voice but it did echo in there.

"You should have woken me up and I would have driven you there!" He doesn't mean to raise his voice, it's a part of him that hates being blamed for something.

You turn to face him this time and say, "I told you I didn't want to stay over because I should get up early the next day but you insist!"

You take a step closer to him, "and you promised! You promised to wake up early and drive me there!"

"I know that's my mistake and I apologized. But you shouldn't have left without telling me!" Changbin gives a counterargument and he's aware of how irrational he becomes.

You turn to leave and start walking up the stairs again, stomping your foot a little too hard the sounds echoing in the chamber.

How did the two of you end up arguing about petty things like this? He catches up to you and stops you again, this time between the fourth and fifth floors.

"Let's start again, mmh?"

He turns you over to face him and tilts your chin to make you look at him, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you late to class and not driving you there. I'm sorry for forcing you to stay over. I'm sorry that I forced you to put on the leather jacket and made you sweating," he stares deeply into your eyes.

Your face gradually softens with every apology he delivers to you.

"I'm sorry for being selfish of you. I know that's not okay but... I just like you so much," He says and again, he's aware of how immature he sounds when he said those things.

He drops your bag to the floor so he can hold you, wrapping his hands around your waist, "I'm still learning this boyfriend thing, you know," he sheepishly says, there's no use being ashamed of it, he knows that you know.

You lift your hands and put them around his shoulders, "I don't need a good boyfriend, I just need you," you say as you melt in his embrace.

He sighs in relief as if his life just got charged up to full, holding you so tight and close to him with a smile on his face.

"You want me to be a bad boyfriend then?" He teases.

You pull away just enough to look at his face, "I just need my Changbin," you reply with a sly smile.

He grabs you by the side of your waist and slowly pushes you until your back hits the wall, pinning you there.

"This Changbin?" He asks with his forehead pressed against yours.

You seductively laugh at him, "maybe..."

Gosh, you always know how to pull him in, it's either your eyes, your body, the way you speak, or the words that come out of your pretty, smart mouth.

Without thinking, he crashes his lips with yours and kisses you so hard he's losing a shred of sanity with it. He is so needy for you, he wants you so bad that it takes everything in him not to lose it right there.

His hand moves up to your chest and kneads on your breast through your t-shirt, fingers circling your hardening bud.

He likes how you are so sensitive to his touch, like a beautiful flower who knows its owner.

He draws back to put a little space between your body, he looks at you and down at your chest, and his hands hold the hem of your t-shirt to lift it, exposing your bare chest to him.

He doesn't waste a second to bury his face between your beautiful mounds, filling his mouth with your soft flesh and teasing your skin with his tongue.

Your hands tangle in his hair, moaning into it while his mouth is busy making your nipples wet with his saliva.

"Bin, maybe not here," you remind him.

That's enough to make him stop but his hand lowers to your thigh, hooking your leg around him, and he starts to put his weight against you, making you feel the growing bulge inside his jeans.

"Why not?" He asks you as he dry humping you.

"You said you hate when people stare at me," you poke fun at him and lowly moan as he humps you again a little harder this time.

"Good point!" He agrees, then slowly lets go of you.

Changbin gets more impatient with every second that passed, he hugs you from the back with his hands slipped under your t-shirt, fondling your breasts as you unlock the door to your apartment.

He humps you from the back like it's not already hard enough for you to try to unlock the door with him clinging onto you.

"Changbin..." you whine in complaint.

You both stumble inside the second the door is open, Changbin drops your bag and hurriedly takes off his shoes, clinging onto you again to bury his head in your neck. You guide him further inside and lean forward with your hands on top of the mini bookshelf you put next to the window.

His hands trace the curve of your rear before snaking down your legs and going under your skirt, palming your sex in his hand which makes him even more impatient.

He hastily takes your skirt off along with your underwear, leaving you only in your t-shirt, he looks through the window and sees how people out there are oblivious about the lewd thing he's doing with you.

Inexplicably, it arouses him more.

He kisses your neck before making his way to kiss you on the mouth while rubbing his bulge over your ass repeatedly.

You turn around and sit on top of the shelf, reaching for him to start undressing him. He takes his shirt off himself while you unbuckle his belt, pulling his jeans off along with his underwear to make it quick.

He kisses you again while you're pumping his stiff member in your hand, spreading your legs open for him as he gets closer, closing the gap between your bodies.

"I can't wait to be inside you," he says with so much frustration that he can't contain the raging desire in him anymore.

"Get inside me then!" You boldly say with a low giggle.

"Let's take this off first," he says, taking your t-shirt over your head and putting it away.

You place your hands on each side of his waist as he puts all of his concentration on entering you, slowly since you're still having a hard time adjusting to his size.

While you keep tilting your head up and looking at his face, contorted in pleasure and he looks so overwhelmed by it. He notices that you're watching, and he gets flustered that he kisses you again to shift your attention elsewhere.

He continues pushing the remaining length with a gentle thrust that elicits a loud moan from you, putting his hands under the joint of your knees, he puts your legs around his waist.

"You always feel so good around me," he whispers with his breath tickling your ear.

Your eyes meet and it sets everything in motion, you hold on to his shoulders as he pounds into you, and he does it with such intensity that it reverberates throughout your body.

A sheen of sweat coated your body from the summer heat, you lean back to put a space as you can feel Changbin's body heat in this proximity.

But Changbin doesn't get your intention, he takes your hands and put them around his neck, swiftly, lifts you off the top of the shelf, and have you clung to him without pulling out of him.

You gasp in surprise at how easily he can lift you like you're as light as a feather, "time for a new trick?"

Changbin responds with a lopsided grin and puts his hands on your ass, guiding your body to move against him.

"Today's workout is cardio, huh?" You poke fun at how he scheduled his workout routine for a week.

You clutch him by the shoulders and lock your lips with him, he groans against your lips as using your body as he pleases gives him a newfound pleasure.

He starts to sweat as well as he uses his strength to keep guiding you and he starts to lose his footing, afraid that it may get risky, he decides to slowly sit on the couch along with you.

You sit on his lap, straddling him and taking a break by kissing him, placing kisses on his neck and chest.

Changbin spread his arms out along the headrest of the couch and sits back, "bounce those beautiful mounds for me," he demands.

You burst out laughing and feeling challenged at once, putting all of your hair to the back and your hands on his shoulders, you start to roll your hips around, feeling his cock inside you to give you the drive.

He seems to enjoy it too, his mouth slacks open and eyes looking at you so full of lust.

Then you start bouncing on him with your breasts bouncing along to your movements just like he asked you to. His hands can't stay still for long, he starts touching you, cupping your breasts and pinching the nipples as you keep moving, chasing your high.

The layer of sweat on both of your bodies glistens under the lights but that doesn't stop you from getting your high together.

He probably senses that you're getting close yet you're getting drained from both the heat and the sex, he holds you close as he lays you down on the couch while he hovers above you.

He kneels on the couch with his hands gripping your waist, thrusting into you again with his eyes intensely looking into yours.

His jaws clenched as he put all of his focus to please you and at the same time, pleasing himself in the process. He doesn't find it hard to do so, he likes you so much that just the thought of being inside you is enough to make him burst.

He holds it in so you can finish first, he's the one who tries to make amend here and it's only right if you cum before him.

The way you squirm underneath him and your legs slightly shaking around his waist, he knows you're so close to climax.

He slows down but puts more intensity into his thrust, hitting you right on the spot that gives you the most pleasure.

"Like that?" He asks through his gritted teeth.

"Mmh, yeah," you answer with your eyes screwed shut, overwhelmed.

Changbin keeps moving and inserts sloppy kisses in between, catching your moans in his mouth.

You softly mewl like a little kitten and claw at his arms when you finally cum.

He would like to correct himself, he finds you the sexiest when you're high in pleasure, especially when he's the one who caused it.

He unconsciously picks up his speed, thrusting into you past your climax to earn his high, closer and closer...

He stifles a thrust into you that makes you moan in unison with him, the second your eyes meet, you both smile at each other.

"Fuck, I like you so much," he says with a hint of frustration at how it is possible for him to like someone that much. He believes it's the first time in his life he experienced this kind of feeling.

You welcome him into your embrace as he collapses on top of you, kissing the side of his face and around his face until the weight of his body starts pressing on you, "baby, you're getting heavy," you say while laughing.

"Wait for a second!" He breathlessly says before waking up, putting your arms around his neck then he scoops your body to flip you over.

You lay on top of him now with him under you, resting your head on his chest while catching your breath, synching your breathing with him.

You stack your hands on his chest and put your chin on top, looking at him while his hands caress your back with his fingertips.

"I must admit that's one nice trick, mister magician," you praise with a sweet smile.

"That's because you make one good assistant," he praises back.

You climb higher on his body and caging his head between your hands, your breasts hang just inches away from his mouth.

"It's time for my trick now," you tell him.

That takes him aback, he thought that you were just as exhausted as him but now that you said that implying that you want to continue.

You suddenly burst into laughter, "why are you so surprised?"

He doesn't want to seem like he can't go for another round, "I just need a moment!"

You place a quick peck on his lips and smile, "it's the perfect time for my new trick," you say.

Changbin raises an eyebrow at you, intrigued.

"Isn't it nice?"

You look up at him as he shields you from the running shower, the cold water helps cool you down and washes the sweat away.

"Very cool trick!" He comments, one hand grabbing you to come closer so he can hold you.

He slowly brings his mouth on you and kisses you slowly, tasting your warm lips against the cold water hitting on both of you.

"Can we do that?" You suddenly ask.

"Do what?"

"What you said earlier," you reply, looping your hands around his neck.

He has no recollection of what he said earlier, he probably does but he said so many things tonight, he doesn't know which one you mean by that.

He still has no idea until both of you finished showering and you come up to him, "come on, let's do that!" You sweetly say to him.

Are you really asking for another round or he takes the signal wrong? But he can't seem to find any other thing you want him to do but that.

"Aren't you tired?" He asks with a perplexed look on his face.

You snort and let go of him, "I'll just do it myself," you say, walking to the bed still in your bathrobe.

Are you going to touch yourself just because he has just refused your invitation?

You sit on the edge of your bed and take your phone, "I'll order it myself," you say.

You type something on your phone, "one strawberry shaved ice just for me," you glare at him with a pout.

Oh, it just hits him now that he offered to order it for you before you got into a little argument earlier. He clearly misunderstood the whole thing and feels so stupid for it.

He rushes to you and snatches your phone away, "I'll do it!"

Going to the living room and searching for his phone, "how many servings do you want? I'll buy as much as you want," he asks from the doorway.

You laugh while lying face down on the bed with your hands propping your face, "well, you kind of owe me a lot," you joke.

"Okay, we'll order 10 servings then!" He says as he types onto his phone.

You're going on another wave of laughter with your legs kicking the air.

At the end of the night, you both sleep close to each other on your small bed with your hands clasped together in the space between your bodies.

"You don't have to learn to be a boyfriend," you say out of the blue.

"We can take things slowly," you add.

Your fingers slip into his soft, dark curls and gently scratch the back of his head with your fingertips.

He softly lands a kiss on your forehead, "I know," he pauses to kiss your temple and continues, "but I like you so much, I want to do my best for you."

You roll your eyes as you try to digest his sweet words but can't help but smile either, "you like me that much?"

He flashes you that smirk of his in which one side of his mouth lifts higher than the other, "you don't believe me?"

You reply with a subtle shrug.

"You're the first girl whose heart I don't want to break," he mutters with unwavering eyes.

"Changbin the heartbreaker no more?"

He sucks air through his teeth, "I think it's time for boyfriend Changbin to rise," he remarks.

"I like that," you say with a giggle.

He squeezes your hand in his, "be honest with me, how is it having me as your boyfriend?"

You stop playing with his hair and rest your hand on his neck, "I like it," you shortly reply.

"And that's it?" He asks in disbelief, he was hoping to hear more from you.

You nod.

"Thank you so much for the feedback!" He sneers.

You get closer to him and hold him close, laughing into his chest before speaking, "you know you keep making mistakes as a boyfriend,"

He frowns at your words.

"But," you glare at him and force him to listen to the rest of the sentence.

"That means you did try your best to be a boyfriend and I like a man who's true to his words, a man of action, a man of..." you look at him with a sly smile before continuing your words, "principles!"

You caress his cheek and cup his jaw, "I like a man who knows his mistakes and owns up to them," you conclude.

That's true, men usually apologize for everything but never acknowledge the mistakes they did, and what they apologized for. Earlier, when he apologized to you, he listed the mistakes he did and you can't be more proud of him.

"Ultimately, I like a man who's not going to break my heart," you finish with a bright smile at him.

He gets flustered by your words that the foolish grin on his face doesn't wear off even for a second, "Is that me?"

You shrug again, "maybe."

He gets on top of you, leaning in so slowly making you giggle under him, when he finally captures your lips in his, you return the kiss with the same eagerness.

"Okay, that's enough, it's getting hot," you say, gently pushing him away and sending him back to lay on your side.

"I told you, if it's hot then we should sleep naked," he suggests with a sneaky smile, so full of mischief and so darn sexy.

You sigh and sit up on the bed, looking over your shoulder at him, and say, "I think that's a good idea!"

Changbin wasn't serious when he said that but when he sees you taking off your night dress and leaving only your underwear on, the heat starts getting to him as well.

You lay back down and snug into him, "you're right, it's comfortable sleeping naked," you say then close your eyes.

He takes it that you're trying to tease him, he keeps his hands away from you and is unable to think for a second, should he give in to the temptation?

"I don't know if I like a girl who keeps tempting me, you know?" He tells you.

You giggle and pull him close by the front of his t-shirt, "just give in already, boyfriend," you dare him.

Maybe it's not the summer, maybe the heat is coming from his love that burns and keeps burning the further the relationship goes.

Support my blog by kindly reblog, comment or tip me on my ko-fi!

taglist: @abiaswreck @septicrebel @cursed-mars-bars @ppiri-bahng @drhsthl @a-katsukitty @tangylemonade @bluenights1899 @thisisnotstraight88 @raspbinniecreme @elizalabs3 @avyskai @lachinitaaaaa @is2cb97 @simeonswhore

#stray kids smut #skz smut #changbin smut #skz changbin smut #skz x reader #changbin x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #skz fics #skz fanfics #kpop smut #kpop fics #kpop fanfics #seospicy smut

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happypolicecherry · 1 year

Text

Alhaitham x reader. Read to find out

I'm not sure where this whole story was going but I tried my best to wrap things up nicely. I do apologise for any grammatical error or bad narration that makes anyone experience displeasure with my writing.

Writing has never been my area of expertise but I am trying my best with everything I have tried to write.

in the middle of the night and you are trying to convince Alhaitham to let you join a dangerous mission newer scholars has to participate in order to gain experience.

"As I've said before, no." Alhaitham stood firm in front of you, Arm crossed across his chest. His unwavering confidence nips at your patience the longer you spend trying to force your reasoning into his thick head as to why you must personally attend to the commission the Akademiya had tasked to the newer scholar in your team.

"Alhaitham, listen. I know that other senior scholars have way too much free time on their hands and that they should be the ones to watch over newer ones but I am also capable-" He sighs, eyes closing. Alhaitham begins to walk away from you, tinkering with books and the historic decor he has. With the sudden movement he made, you find yourself pacing after him like a child.

Or to be more accurate, like a young scholar chasing after her mentor, listening to his speeches while he stacks book after book onto her. God, what a nightmare. A sense of Deja Vu that makes the hair on your skin crawls. And it did.

"Why can't you just listen? It'd make a good opportunity for me too. I get to practice my knowledge in the real world instead of in some old boring office." Frustration grew inside of you. You already knew Alhaitham wouldn't willingly agree to something that could potentially risk your life but the fact that he flatly refuse your idea as if it doesn't worth being pondered over? unbelievable.

"I am listening. Although applying your knowledge in the outside world is far more preferred for many scholars as it does help with developing your skills faster,"

"Then I can go?!" You beamed. Accidentally cutting him off. You truly believe you had finally succeeded in convincing him.

"... I'm not finished. It doesn't mean you have to put yourself on the bridge between life and death. So my answer's still the same." He continued. As soon as he finished your expression slowly turn glum.

Just before you could feel the rejection setting in for the second time, a bright idea popped into your head. ".. why don't you follow me then?"

"I told you, I can't. As the acting grand sage I have multiples matters to attend to at the Akademiya. If I had known you'd insist as volunteering for the mission, I wouldn't have granted it approval in the first place." Alhaitham raises his hand.

Doing his usual gesture where he's staring right into your eyes and swing one hand out while the other stay crossed across his chest. It took every ounce of willpower in you to not roll your eyes over how annoying he looks with his as-matter-of-factly expression.

"If the mission is so dangerous why are you leaving it in the hands of the newer schoolars.." You mumbled your words but it proves that nothing goes unnoticed to Alhaitham especially when it's you he's facing.

"Because I like to see the world burn." his nonchalant-ness had you worried. You slowly backs away from him, opting to drop the topic. Maybe you had been too pushy with him earlier. ".. don't..?" until now you've never understood why people always complains over how hard it is to tell whether Alhaitham is being serious or not.

Over the time you've spent with him, he had always been somewhat of an easy-to-read man. Straightforward and honest to you. Oh but now? now you're sweating because his comment relating to arsonist paired with his serious expression makes you wonder if you should prepare for the day when an unknown fire broke out somewhere in the Akademiya thus burning the entirety of Sumeru city down.

Maybe you'd find your boyfriend standing on top of it all with an unhinged smile and maniac laughter coming from him screaming burn burn burn!

But ofcourse, all your fantasies were interrupted by the very same man. "I'm joking, Y/n." your expression must've told him everything you were thinking about seeing how he's quick to admit he wasn't serious.

"so then.. can I go?" you repeat your question. Continuously asking him until you finally get him to say yes. Alhaitham sighs in pure defeat. It's starting to look like you are not the only frustrated one here.

"Y/n.. Let's just sleep for now." he grabs your forearm gently, pulling you to your shared bedroom after having had enough of your persistent attempt on changing his mind regarding the matter that was so important to you. He still doesn't see the importance of you joining them if you can just stay at the Akademiya and learn with him instead.

But eventually, he'll give it some thought and try to view things from the eyes of a scholar and not the eyes of an overprotective lover. Just keep pestering him so he won't think you've given up the idea of going.

#alhaitham #genshin fluff #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham fluff

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margridarnauds · 1 month

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Do you want to talk about what's happening at the job? And/or, ramble about a WIP you're excited about?

I wish I could, believe me.

Suffice it to say, the outside view of academia is very much focused on the academic side of things. Which makes sense, but in reality, it's a much smaller part of what we do than people think (one thing I WILL, grudgingly, give the Dark Academia genre is that it's aware of this...even though, frankly, it is so much less sexy in real life) -- there are a lot of "soft" skills that go into it, like networking, diplomacy, self-promotion, even social media work, that all builds up to a lot of politicking. You have to constantly be aware of how things stand in the field and to be aware of how you are going to react to them (even if you choose not to react, that is a reaction), who you trust with what information, etc. It can feel, at times, like a constant battle to keep your soul. (I'm not certain, in general, if I've succeeded, but I can say that I've tried to act with a clear head according to my conscience as best as possible and I hope, if I'm ever judged negatively for decisions I've made, that that's taken into account.) And the last week has involved a lot more of that than I'm accustomed to, in a way that knocked me massively off-kilter and brought back a lot of bad memories that I thought I'd dealt with that are unrelated to my job and in a way that I know hurt people who are near and dear to me. (And since even this account has been discovered by people in the field in the past who have not always, I think, had my best intentions at heart, I am very cognizant of even how I talk about these things on here, because there is truly no sense of anonymity.)

I can't give further details, but I'm in a state of relative peace over it now, I've come to terms with things, and I believe that we are in a good place. It was just a very tricky thing to navigate.

The good news (it's a small drop of good news in a very unpleasant affair) is that it has crystallized a lot of the themes that I want to explore with one of my WIPs -- notions on morality, loyalty, trust, what does it mean to be "good" vs "evil", is "good" something that you naturally are, a general state of being, or is it a series of decisions that you have to make every day, how do you work with that in a DnD setting VS real life, etc. Which is all terribly vague, I know, but it's given me the chance for a lot of introspection.

#thank you for the ask!

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evelina18-6-blog · 14 days

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(this is so long, i am so sorry)

i understand why the artist was offended because your post made some pretty strong if not aggressive arguments, and i'm sure some assholes took the opportunity to send that person anon hate which probably made it feel more like a personal attack than it actually was, but i am honestly so sick and tired of people using their real life trauma as an excuse for every single thing. i may not have some deep, life altering trauma but i have my own issues and experiences and i too use fiction and art to cope but here we're not just talking about fiction and art, hell we're not talking about fiction at all. the ethics of shipping real life people are already questionable enough and i don't think there's a clear cut and dry answer but taking someone so repulsive, so downright dangerous, as Vargs and not only making cute artworks of him a if he's your casual anime boy, but also shipping him with a person who hated him, is inexcusable. just saying that you don't like or support Vargs is not enough when you have practically dedicated an entire account to making fanart of him. the Mayhem community is already messy enough and by doing that, they downplay what a piece of shit Vargs is and the pain he caused. (no matter how unintentional). also can we talk about Pelle for a moment? claiming to like him and pair him with such a horrible person? using him as a prop and completely ignoring his real life relationships and beliefs? how is that fair? people are already infantalizing him enough because of his mental illness and possible autism. how about realizing that Pelle is not a prop? that he was a person who deserves respect and that drawing him in the embrace of his friends murderer, is not being respectful to say the least? what about Oystein? no one seems to want to address were Olystein fits in this situation at all, why? was he not the person affected the most by Vargs? was he not his victim? putting his friend with his murderer feels like a huge fuck you to him. overall, painting someone in a positive light and later going 'lol im just kidding' is not good enough. Vargs (amongst others..) has spend the majority of his time insulting, belittling, even sexualizing Oystein, in an attempt to ruin his legacy and he has mostly succeeded because he's surrounded by cowards like himself who don't have the balls to stand up and speak the truth. the first thing people come across when researching Mayhem is the same bullshit about what a ''terrible'' person Oystein was and how he ''needed to be stopped''. this is the narrative Vargs has created and if you don't care enough to look deeper, you'll end up believing his lies and blaming a dead person. therefore such artwork, that completely rewrites the history and relationships of these people, can be very dangerous because it can actualy help Vargs into better selling his stupid narrative. i'm not saying that this particular artist is a bad person or that they're lying about their trauma or any bullshit like that, but art affects real life and the moment you post sth online you've opened yourself to criticism. do these Vargs/Pelle fics have more depth than initially presented? maybe. maybe they truly are a great psychological analysis of Vargs (although i don't understand why the hell you'd want to touch that with a ten-foot pole) but you can't blame people for not seeing that. whenever i see fanart of a ship, i don't sit wondering what the artist wants to say with their piece, i either like it bc i like the ship or i don't. if this is your copying mechanism, fine. can't criticize someone's copying mechanisms without sounding like an asshole i guess. but my advice is that maybe people need to take a better look at themselves and see how their interests affect others as well. you can do whatever in your own time but when you post it online it contributes to sth bigger whether you like it or not.

Don't worry about the length of your messages. I like that you elaborate. I agree with everything and thank you for your message. I honestly don't understand when this person says that she is NOT a fan of Varg, or that she doesn't like him and makes fun of him. I haven't seen anything mocking. I've only seen a great idealization of the young Varg, who was a horrible person, more violent than the current Varg. And a certain idealization of the "wonderful" intellect of the current Varg. I'm sorry to say that "the mockery" is poorly done. Like when you have to explain a joke, if no one understand it, it's because it's done poorly. About Pelle, I liked this: "claiming to like him and pair him with such a horrible person? using him as a prop and completely ignoring his real life relationships and beliefs?" Yes, that's why I said Pelle is not a ball that goes from here to there. I also agree that no one seems to think what's going on with Euro in this situation. In my case, it is almost the first thing that shocks me, it is a double offense towards him. That's why I wonder if there is something, deep down, against the Euro. Because romanticizing Varg SO MUCH, yes or yes, for me, brings with it some kind of sympathy for his ideologies, therefore, some kind of resentment towards Euro. When people attack Euro, they generally resort to two things: lies about the mistreatment of Pelle, and his political inclinations, painting him as an authoritarian extremist fanatic. And therefore, Varg as a person who was encouraged to go further and do "something that many would want to do." Varg is a failure who does not know how to value the only good thing in him, his musical talent. He did not know how to value the influence of Euro and the environment in which he found himself. Now he is a clown who needs to resort to ridiculing himself on the internet to stay current, so that his morbid followers consume him "as ironic consumption." It's an internet phenomenon. And he is free only because the Norwegian prison regime is very soft. I think he should be under psychiatric treatment because he can't stop being a bad influence, even on his children, or they should send him to hard labor, so that he can channel his anger through physical labor instead of the internet. Perhaps the girls who draw Varg romantically and the people who are big fans of him beyond his music do not specifically have his same ideologies, but they admire him in some way, and it is clear that his systematically offensive attitudes are not enough to stop them and scare them away I sincerely feel that they see him as a master. I see Varg as the typical cult leader, and I feel cringe at the adoration they profess of him. "i'm not saying that this particular artist is a bad person or that they're lying about their trauma or any bullshit like that, but art affects real life and the moment you post sth online you've opened yourself to criticism." What you said sums it up. I don't doubt that this girl could be harmless in real life, and that she has traumas and that her art and fanfics help her in her introspection. I fully believe her when she says it, but the debate does not end with whether something is therapeutic or not. It is up to her to choose what things to express her art on. She don't lack talent, why do you choose Varg? That's what's shocking, I mean, it's shocking that she brings Pelle into this and twists history to support her capricious ship and celebrate that more and more people join her ship. There you can see that she doesn't do it for herself, she wants more people to romanticize Varg and have the vision of Pelle that she has, which, in my opinion, is a bit humiliating and objectifying.

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bonefall · 1 year

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!! Please tell us about BB cats and songs you associate with them!!

Ok! Including YouTube links too, just so.

Darkstar: Little Dark Age - MGMT

I like how the song feels... hazy and confusing. It feels like a lull in a person's life from which they emerge better, stronger. Especially the bridge,

"I grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange I know that if you hide, it doesn't go away If you get out of bed and find me standing All alone, open-eyed Burn the page, my little dark age"

It makes me think a lot of what Darkstar was faced with. A bleak future from a pointless tragedy, the knowledge that SOMETHING has to change now else it will never get better, how the knowledge of StarClan's pending punishment sort of isolates her from the feelings of her Clanmates.

She has allies, like Volepelt, who she can't understand. She has supporters who still don't 'get it' like Spiketail who she can't empathize with. Both all alone AND open-eyed, if that makes sense

Cloudtail, Ferncloud, Ashfur: To The Blade - Everything Everything

This song means EVERYTHING to me when it comes to them, dude.

That gentle opening teleports me to the exact moment in BB!Cruel Season where Ferncloud is told that Ashfur tried to kill the Three, the way her mind is certainly racing, scrambling to comb through every interaction she's had with him, trying to piece it together so it makes sense, and then that HARD DROP

It sends me back to TNP, the death of Brindleface, little baby Ashkit, how she had to do the relay race with Elderberry, raising him and seeing him grow up into a loyal warrior

And Cloudtail too, thinking about Ashpaw's adolescence, wondering where it came from, if he failed him, if he didn't properly raise his best friend's little brother properly.

The growing possessiveness in Ashfur and the commitment to the Code that eventually makes him the impostor

To The Blade was written by EE to be a song about a person whose semi-distant relative (cousin, uncle, estranged brother) joined some kind of radical group, terrorists, alt-righters, incels, etc, and finds out about it through some kind of violent attack. A bombing or a murder, y'know.

It's about how you can never really get closure, and how attempting to understand it will only make it all more painful. It's about the vague feeling that if someone so close to you DID such horrible things, then, what stopped you? What was different about you and them? Could you have saved them?

"There's a thing that you always said and it is no words"

It's their song to me. It's the song about this little unit of cats.

Lizardstripe, Bluestar, Oakheart: We Both Reached For The Gun - Chicago

There's a full amv in my head to this one for Bluestar's trial scene. Billy Flinn (Lawyer) is Lizard, Roxy (Defendant) is Blue, the reporter woman is Oakheart in a fake mustache. The narrator in the opening is Oakheart WITHOUT the fake 'stache. The other reporters alternate between legitimately curious StarClan Jury and Thistle Law supporters.

The first bridge ("Oh yes oh yes oh yes we both--") is Bluestar awkwardly doing a complicated little dance (implied that Lizard taught it to her) that the jury fumbles repeating the first time, but by the end of the song they PERFECTLY repeat the dance.

The final "Both Reached For theeeee guuuun" is sung by Thunderstar, a massive godlike-figure who was just hanging out observing in the background for most of the song. He is a patron of Justice and Judgement, so him repeating this line is symbolizing that they successfully convinced the majority of the jury.

All that's left is for Lizard to paint the Thistle Law supporters in a bad light in another song lmao

Runningnose: Snuff Out The Light - Emperor's New Groove

Another one I've got a whole AMV in my head about. I can imagine the whole story of Brokenstar's Cataclysm to this song, and honestly I listen to it on basically every bus ride because of that lmao

The song escalating is his schemes succeeding. First, convincing Brokenpaw to leverage Raggedstar to install him as Cleric ("Studied well, I learned the trade"), helping Brokentail hide his murder ("Every wrinkle soon be gone"), coming up with new and ghastly ways to win fights ("I've really stopped at nothing"), and the musical interlude just before the climax is him poisoning Marigoldkit and chuckling triumphantly as they have a good excuse to exile Yellowfang for getting in their way.

The final part is the WindClan Massacre as they stream into camp. In particular "CROCODILES AND CARRION BEASTS" is Blackfoot about to bite Deadfoot and breaking his fang on the gauntlet, and "JOIN US IN THE COMING FEAST" is Tangleburr blocking the exit with a mauled Stoneclaw under her claws.

Hollyleaf: Fishies - The Cat Empire

Something about the mythological references, the way it seems like the singer is trapped somehow, the way it feels excited and desperate. I don't have citations for this one but something here clicks for me.

AND LASTLY here's some I have no thoughts on, I just associate them

Featherwhisker: Clumsy - Fergie

Tawnypelt @ Tigerstar: Telephone - Lady Gaga

Blackstar: Losing My Religion - Rem. Of course. Come on. This is HIS song.

Blackstar again because I think about this man too much: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon. I think it is my sacred duty to reinterpret songs about breakups as being about Blackstar being forced to live without Russetfur

Thunder Storm: Mama - MCR

Squilf and Bramblestar: Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars

Hawkfrost and Ivypool: Say My Name - Beetlejuice

Spottedleaf and Tigerclaw at the end of Spottedleaf's Plague: Memento Mori - Will Wood

Mistyfoot at the end of TNP towards literally everything: No Children - Mountain Goats. Ok like I love this song and how people use it but what if it was about the whole Clan and not just a breakup... Misty smashing Leopard's head against a rock... mourning Hawkfrost even though he did all that to her... thinking about all the goddamn work she has to do... man

#bone babble

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mi-rae07 · 7 months

Text

Kang Yeosang : Prince Of Hearts (Part 6/9)

Pairing : Kang Yeosang (Ateez) and named character (Moon Yena)

----------------------------

Yena had never been happier, and to be honest, neither had yeosang. Yena fooled around with yeosang the entire day, visiting places she never knew existed and having food she would've once been disgusted to even look at. Her face glowed, and yeosang's face didn't cease having that smile on his face. Slowly but steadily they were both starting to fall in love with each other, and yena couldn't think about the war that was coming and yeosang couldn't care about the fact that if yena succeeded, he would have to face a world he had always been afraid of.

Yena was eating a mango that yeosang had plucked from a tree right outside the palace the night before when the door to her chambers burst open, revealing a panting yeosang with a letter held tight in his hand.

Yena : oh? You have a letter? Who is it from, your secret muse-

Yeosang : did you come here to destroy my family?

Yena blinked her eyes in pure confusion, standing up from her bed as she said

Yena : what?

Yeosang threw the letter at yena, causing it to hit her as it fell right into her hands. Yena unfolded it and read through, realizing it was a letter from her vice commander in chief, writing to ask about her process in having weakened the nation of Malaya. Fuck it, she had forgotten to tell him about the change of plans.

Yena : you read through my personal letter.

Yeosang scoffed, feeling anger rise up in his body

Yeosang : is that what matters more here? You fucking betrayed me, moon yena.

Yena : yeosang, listen-

Yeosang : after everything we did together, after everything I told you, is this what I get? A stab in the back?

Yena : you don't even trust me.

Yena watched in part shock as yeosang pulled a dagger out of his vest, banging yena against a wall as he held it against the side of her neck, the sharp end of the blade pressing hard against her throat as yeosang whispered

Yeosang : am I supposed to?

Yena : do you think I could do that to you? Do you think I am capable of taking away the place and people you love the most, from you?

Yeosang : you are capable of anything, yena. If you can kill the ruling dynasty of 3 powerful nations within the span of 3 years and turn them into an empire, you can do this as well.

Yena : except I didn't fucking care about them, kang yeosang. Not the way I care about you.

Yeosang paused, not saying anything. He didn't know what to say, the tears of betrayal still stung his eyes.

Yeosang : I thought you were a good person.

Yena : I am not a good person, I never was and never will be. But I am not a bad person either, yeosang.

Yeosang : and I'm supposed to trust you? After everything I just read-

Yena : then kill me.

Yeosang : what?

Yena : you're holding a knife against me anyway, so kill me.

Yeosang : yena.

Yena : you think I'm not capable of defending against this? You think I can't reverse this knife back at you even in this position and kill you off instead?

Yeosang pressed his lips together, the knife held tight in his hand.

Yena : but I won't. I am not capable of doing anything that could hurt you anymore, yeosang. But all you have against written proof is my word. So kill me, then. Do it if you can.

Yeosang stared at yena, his eyes unreadable to her. But what he felt inside was different, what he felt inside was a thousand different emotions. His mind played the scenes of yena laughing with him, that laugh couldn't be fake, could it? It sounded so genuine, so happy. Surely she felt all that?

But this? What he read, what was he to make of it? This was a matter of his entire nation, his father and his future, past and present. Anyone in his position would have killed yena off, because if yeosang did that, he would not only be saving his nation from ruin, but he would also be sole emperor of three powerful nations.

One hard thrust and yeosang could be on top of the world. But yeosang wouldn't do it, not if it meant killing moon yena.

Yeosang stepped away from yena, the knife still held hard against his hands as he said

Yeosang : leave.

Yena : yeosang-

Yeosang : leave my nation and do not return. I don't care about the minerals you need, fucking take it if that's what you want. But leave, leave by next week.

Yena shook her head as yeosang turned around, wanting to go away. But before he could, yena quickly held his arm as she said

Yena : no. no don't send me away.

Yeosang did not say anything, he only started walking towards the door.

Yena : yeosang, please!

Yeosang still did not say anything. And at that yena blocked his path, taking hold of his hand that still held the knife before holding it right against her chest, the tip pointing at her bare skin. Yeosang's eyes widened, his body freezing at the sight.

Yena : you cannot ask me to leave.

Yeosang : yena what the hell, let go!

Yena : I don’t want the minerals anymore, I want you. I'm not leaving here without you.

Yeosang : I can't be with you yena! Not when I don't trust you anymore!

Yena let out a breath and pushed the knife harder against her chest, yeosang letting out a gasp as he tried pulling the knife away. But it didn't work, because yena kept forcing yeosang's hand to move further, her eyes trained only on his.

Yeosang : y-yena-

Yeosang cut himself off with a whimper as a squelch sound was heard before the tip of the knife cut through yena's skin, blood pouring down the knife and onto both their hands as yena whispered

Yena : do you trust me now?

Yeosang looked up with yena with eyes filled with tears, his hand shaking in her grip as the knife still continued to draw blood from her skin. Yeosang couldn't imagine the pain she must be feeling right now, but even then yena's face remained blank, as if it was someone else's blood that was falling on the floor.

Yeosang : please! You're hurting yourself!

Yena : then let me!

Yeosang cursed under his breath before using sudden force, finally pulling the knife away from yena's grip as he threw it away from them. Yeosang fell on the ground, tears streaming down his eyes as he looked at the blood on his hand, yena's blood.

Yeosang : and if you died? WHAT IF YOU HAD DIED MOON YENA!

Yena : then I would just die.

Yeosang scoffed, looking up at yena as he asked

Yeosang : and then what, I would have to be emperor of your nations?

Yena froze, her eyes filling with shock.

Yena : is that…is that why you didn't kill me? Because you didn't want to be emperor?

No, it was not. But yeosang didn't know if he wanted to say that to someone who betrayed him.

Yeosang : I told you I already didn't want to be king-

Yeosang cut himself off as yena let out a scoff, looking away.

Yeosang : yena-

Yena : you feel nothing for me.

Yeosang : that-

Yena : you wanted me to leave by the end of this week? I will, I will leave and never come back.

Yeosang quickly stood up as yena walked past him towards the door, wanting to stop her.

Yeosang : yena, just-

Yena : I felt something for you, prince kang. But I had been stupid to think you were happy as well, utterly stupid.

Yeosang paused on his tracks, his eyes widening at those words

Yeosang : you…you love me?

Yena turned around before taking yeosang's hand in hers, placing it right against her fresh wound as yeosang flinched at the wetness.

Yena : you're asking, yeosang? Are you that clueless?

Yena stepped back, her hands clenched as she said

Yena : you are cruel, prince, maybe even as cruel as I am.

Yeosang looked on the ground, not having words to say.

Yena : I will leave, leave by the end of this week just as you had asked me to. And the minerals? Damn them. If I am going to lose this war because of it, then so be it but I will not take them anymore. Not after…not after this.

__________________________

Yeosang : appa, where's yena?

Han looked up from his breakfast plate, a frown on his face as he looked at his son who seemed to have jumped right out of bed.

Han : she…finished her breakfast before I was even awake, apparently.

Yeosang nodded as he turned around, not waiting to hear anything more as he rushed towards yena's temporary study. Yeosang opened the door as he looked at the few ministers that were seated in front of yena's desk, all their eyes on him as yeosang entered the room and said

Yeosang : leave, I need to talk with the empress in private.

The ministers nodded, standing up.

Yena : no sit back down, he does not command you.

Yeosang : this is my nation, I can command anyone, empress.

Yena shot a glare at yeosang, him nodding towards the ministers before saying

Yeosang : it is an order, ministers. Leave and close the door behind you.

The ministers gave both yena and yeosang a small bow before leaving, yena still glaring at yeosang as he said

Yeosang : I want to know the truth.

Yena rolled her eyes as she said

Yena : it's too early in the morning for this.

Yeosang : yena! You are a security threat to my nation right now, and unless you tell me the truth I will be forced to treat you as one.

Yena : then treat me as one, I couldn't care less.

Yeosang : please, please yena don’t do this to us.

Yena : us? Yeosang, you don’t feel shit about us. To you we're, what, acquaintances?

Yeosang : friends.

Yena scoffed as she looked back at the papers and muttered under her breath

Yena : friends.

Yeosang : look, you do not have the right to be angry at me. Not after what you did, alright?

Yena : I didn't do shit, kang yeosang. That letter you read? It was from my vice-commander who was unaware of my actual plans. Okay, yes, we had considered using manupulation on you in order to overthrow both you and your father but I told him I wouldn't do that once I reached here and saw how things actually were. I'm supposing the letter didn't go through.

Yeosang : so you came here planning to end my dynasty?

Yena : I'm an empress, yeosang. What, was I supposed to just love you before I even talked to you?

Yeosang : it is not about love, it is about basic nobility, moon yena! You were going to cheat us off of our throne!

Yena : there is no noble way to acquiring a throne, yeosang, none. I would know.

Yeosang scoffed, looking away as he said

Yeosang : you're exactly how I had once thought you to be, yena.

Yena : and how was that?

Yeosang : ruthless. A heartless being who lacks human moral.

Yena chuckled, leaning back against her chair as she looked at yeosang with an amused look

Yena : and you're just as I thought you would be, a weak prince who has a heart that is made of glass. Unable to face the real world, and unable to understand how kingdoms are ruled. Always in your little bubble of fairytale fantasy.

Yeosang felt tears in his eyes at her harsh words, glaring right into yena's eyes as he whispered

Yeosang : damn you.

Yeosang turned around and left, realizing yena was probably right.

_______________________________

4 days later :

Yeosang and yena hadn't uttered a word to each other after that, it was as if they hadn't existed to each other. Even during dinners yena would keep her eyes on the plate, talking about only state matters to yeosang's father before she retired for the night. And in the morning yena would be in her temporarily given office room, going through state matters and letters from various people.

Yena had asked for her ship to be ready, in order to voyage back to her land. But it would take time to be completely ready, almost a week. So 6 days from now, yena would be gone. And yeosang would never see her again.

Today something was different, because yeosang had been awoken at just before dawn by the guards, telling him that his father had suddenly been taken seriously ill. And that had flipped a switch in yeosang. In between his problems with yena, yeosang had forgotten about his aged father, and his own fears.

Yeosang rushed towards han's chambers after that, a few different doctors checking the nation's king coming into yeosang's view.

Yeosang : what's wrong with him?

The doctors turned around and bowed before one of them said

??? : his majesty seems to be quite ill, lord prince. It probably has something to do with his smoking, as his lungs seems to have lost some of it's capacities.

Yeosang : appa! You told me you quit smoking!

Han sighed, shaking his head before saying in a weak tone

Han : I was just stressed, son.

Yeosang let out a breath as he asked the doctor

Yeosang : will he be okay, doctor?

??? : as of right now he is alright, although he will be weak for a few days. But the continuous smoking has degraded his lungs a lot, lord prince. Hence I'm afraid-

Han : I don't have much time left.

Yeosang felt his heart drop, this could only mean one thing.

Han : son, we must start with the preparations for the coronation of a new king.

Yeosang : no.

Han : yeosang-

Yeosang : no no, no I cannot be king.

Han : yeosang, you are crown prince. And I am already 70 years of age. This had to come someday-

Han cut himself off as yeosang stepped back, tears falling down his eyes. And before han could say anything more, yeosang ran to the only place he knew no one could find him.

___________________________________

Yena : what? Yeosang's gone where?

Han : that I am not aware of, empress. But I know that you will be able to find my son, and bring him back to me.

Yena : why do you think I'm capable of doing that, your highness?

Han : because I've seen my son with you, I've seen the way he smiles and the way he looks at you. It is the way a man looks at the woman he loves, empress.

Yena : you do not know that.

Han : I had a wife once, I would know. So find him, please.

Yena let out a breath, realizing there was no way out of this.

Yena : fine, but I will go alone.

____________________________________

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