#Dimi Writes

[dimigex]

hey just wondering if there’s a rough idea on the next instalment of healing hands 😍

Precious Anon, I was literally working on it when I got this message. I feel all the guilt that the new chapter isn't out because it's been ages. I will say that it started around a few thousand words and it's almost 14K now (oops). Since the wait has been so long, there's a sneak peak under the cut! <3 <3 <3

Ignoring the question, Sakura crossed her arms over her chest. “Tell me about the mission.” 

Kakashi raised one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s an S-ranked Anbu mission. You know I can’t give you the details.” 

“Well then, you also know I can’t clear him.” Sakura raised her chin to meet Kakashi’s dark, guarded gaze. As much as their friendship had developed over the past few months, he still managed to needle under her skin with little effort. Huffing out a frustrated breath, she continued. “How can you give me mission details when you send me the broken shinobi afterward, but not let me know what to expect? How does that make any sense?” 

The tense silence between them stretched for a moment as Kakashi formulated his response. Then, he sighed. “We have intel that a hideout belonging to Orochimaru is showing—” 

“You want to send him back to Orochimaru,” Sakura burst out, unable to contain her incredulity. “After everything he’s been through? How could you possibly think that’s a good idea?”

The lines across Kakashi’s forehead deepened, and Sakura realized that she might have revealed more about her relationship with Tenzo than she meant to. They wouldn’t have had much reason to talk about his past, especially since she had him on leave for medical reasons. But, as the Anbu medic, she had access to his file. Tenzo had admitted that much of what he’d told her was recorded inside. It wouldn’t have been unlikely that Sakura read it. 

Whatever conclusion Kakashi came to about the information, he kept his opinion to himself. “An abandoned research laboratory on the outskirts of the Land of Fire has been showing activity: disappearances, strange noises, and smoke. I need someone to secure the facility.” 

Refusing to be swayed, Sakura inclined her head. “And, you have dozens of Anbu who aren’t currently on leave. Send one of them.” 

The idea of sending Tenzo back to one of the facilities that he’d been trapped in as a child soured Sakura’s stomach. He would understandably be on edge and if something went wrong, it would set back weeks worth of hard work. Considering his slip with alcohol the night before, and the night terrors that came with it, Sakura couldn’t risk returning him to the field, not yet. He wasn’t ready. She had to find a way to protect him without damaging his trust again. 

“Sakura,” Kakashi chided, voice taking on the tone he’d used when trying to make her see reason as a genin. It hadn’t worked then either. “There are people disappearing, a couple of them were kids. If anyone knows how Orochimaru operates and how to capture him, it’s Yamato.” 

The plea tugged at Sakura’s heartstrings, but Tenzo needed just as much protection as those missing children did. If something went wrong, as it so often did on missions, she wasn’t sure how he’d react. His battered body in the hospital bed after his previous two missions flashed through Sakura’s mind. But, it gave her an idea. “I’ll grant his medical clearance on one condition.” 

The soft snort of disbelief from Kakashi didn’t match the ice in his gaze. “You do understand your input is a recommendation, right? I don’t have to follow your advice.”

“Yet, you keep asking for it,” Sakura countered, meeting Kakashi’s stare without flinching. There were only a few things that would make her stand up to her former sensei, and patient care was one of them. 

“What is your condition?” Kakashi shifted on the couch, a clear mark of discomfort. At least he was willing to entertain the idea. 

Sakura let out a measured breath to gather her courage. There was only way that she’d feel comfortable with Tenzo being back in the field. “Assign me to his team.” 

“Absolutely not.” Kakashi’s answer came almost as soon as the words left Sakura’s lips. “This mission has a high probability of failure, and you are not trained to handle these types of situations.”

Whose fault is that? Sakura managed to keep the question from leaving her lips, but only barely. Anger flooded her system at the implication that she was somehow less because she hadn’t received Anbu training. She had completed S-rank missions before, and her medical ninjutsu rivaled if not surpassed Tsunade’s. “If you’re worried about failure, I’m the best option to get your team out without casualties.” 

“This isn’t a game,” Kakashi growled, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I know you’re a good medic, the best even, but Yamato’s team won’t cater to you if you can’t keep up.” 

“I don’t need anyone to cater to me.” Sakura gestured at her dirty clothes with one hand as if they explained everything. “This may come as a surprise to you, but I'm in the best physical shape that I’ve ever been.” 

Kakashi shook his head like the fact was of little consequence. “That may be so, but you aren’t Anbu. There won’t be an extraction team if something goes wrong.” 

“You think I don’t know that?” Sakura recalled the harsh reality that she’d witnessed at the hospital and Tenzo’s apartment since returning to the village. “I’m not a scared, untrained genin any longer, Kakashi-sensei.” 

The title melted the ice in Kakashi’s eyes, transforming it into something like pride. “I know, but that doesn’t make you ready for this type of situation.” 

Sakura blew out a tired breath, wondering how many times she’d need to prove herself before someone believed in her. “Because you don’t think I can do it?”  “Because I don’t want you to do it,” Kakashi corrected, leaning close enough for Sakura to see the pale flecks of silver in his eyes. It underscored the sincerity in his voice.

#Dimi Answers #Healing Hands #YamaSaku #Yamato #Tenzo #Tenzo/Sakura #Sakura #Dimi writes #my writing #sneak peak #wip #unbeta'd #all mistakes are my own #because I'm too tired to edit this again before posting this part

[dimigexwrites]

How Can I Fight Someone Who Isn't Even There? (All or Nothing, chapter two)

Fanfiction, A03

The second chapter of All or Nothing is available below the cut or at the websites above! This story is an emotional mess, you have been forewarned! It deals with the fallout of Kakashi and Sakura having an affair while she's married to Sasuke.

If you like what I do, feel free to support me on ko-fi!

Sarada spent fifteen minutes rearranging her room to include her gifts, laying the weapons on the small table beside her bed while Sakura hung her clothing up. Kakashi watched from the doorway, feeling like an intruder in a private, family moment. Sakura glanced in his direction from time to time, but she didn't speak or invite him closer. For her part, Sarada ignored Kakashi entirely as she skipped around in an attempt to put off bedtime for as long as possible.

"Come on, let's get changed for bed time," Sakura called, pulling a pair of red pajamas from a drawer. "Teeth, story, then bed."

"But mom," Sarada began, voice edging toward a high pitched whine.

Sakura playfully swatted at the girl's bottom with the pajamas. "You're already up later than you normally are. Come on."

Sarada scooted away from her mother, pausing in front of Kakashi. Her dark eyes slid over him with far more appraisal than they should have. "Are you spending the night?"

Kakashi coughed, warmth flooding into his cheeks, as Sakura growled her daughter's name. "Sarada-chan," she warned, looking exasperated. "Kakashi and Mama need to have a talk after you go to sleep, then he's going home."

"But it's already bedtime time," Sarada chirped, pointing toward her darkened window. "Why didn't you talk during the day?"

"Because someone had a birthday party," Kakashi answered, forcing his tone to false playfulness. "And, we were busy with that."

Sakura put a hand on Sarada's head and turned it toward the bathroom. She pressed the pajamas into the girl's hands. "Go, brush your teeth and get changed."

Kakashi scrubbed a hand through his hair the way he did when he was nervous as Sarada moved down the hallway. Sakura leaned one shoulder against the wall, watching the girl before turning back to Kakashi. "She didn't mean anything by it."

"Does that make you feel better about it," Kakashi asked, voice pitched to a low whisper. Sakura's lips compressed into a thin line, but he shook his head before she could speak. "She's right. I should have gone home at the same time as Naruto and Hinata."

"But you stayed," Sakura pointed out, turning to glance toward the bathroom as water splashed into the sink. "Why?"

Kakashi chuckled and shook his head. Because I'm an idiot, he thought, though he held the words close to his chest, offering a shrug instead. "Because you asked me to."

The water turned off and Sarada padded down the hallway in her pajamas. Kakashi offered a tight eye smile. "Goodnight, Sarada-chan."

The girl dipped into a quick bow without looking at Sakura to see what she was supposed to do. "Goodnight, Kakashi-san."

"Let me get her to sleep, then we can continue this conversation." Sakura met Kakashi's gaze over Sarada's head, warning him to stay put.

Humming in agreement, Kakashi dipped his chin and wandered back downstairs so that he wouldn't intrude on their privacy. The sound of Sakura's voice drifted down the hallway, regaling Sarada with some kind of fairy tale with talking mice. Kakashi shook his head and walked toward the entrance, wondering if he'd be better off to pull on his sandals and leave. He'd run away the last time, and it had been better for both of them.

Kakashi paused by the empty space where the photograph of Sakura and Sasuke had hung. He wondered why Sakura hadn't replaced it. Peeking back at the stairs to make certain the woman wasn't coming, Kakashi slid open a drawer in the small table near the door. It was the most obvious place to put the photo, and he wasn't surprised to find it there.

Running his fingers across the image, Kakashi remembered the day with a bittersweetness that left him sick to his stomach. Sakura looked beautiful with the pale pink kimono and white flowers dotting her hair. Sasuke looked much as he always did, a shadow against Sakura's brilliance. Kakashi studied the boy's face, looking for the happiness that should have been there.

"I always loved him more than he loved me." Sakura's soft whisper came from behind Kakashi. He spun to find the woman standing at the base of the stairs with a sad smile on her face.

Kakashi closed the drawer with his hip, flushing at being caught. "I'm sure that's not true."

Sakura crossed the space between them and rested her hand on Kakashi's arm for a moment, then leaned past him to turn off the light in the hallway. He frowned as she moved toward the door, locking and bolting it. When she turned back to Kakashi, the shadows did something that made her eyes look haunted. "Sasuke never," the woman paused, searching for the right word, then shrugged. "He never knew how to show emotion. Honestly, I'm not convinced he feels them in the same way other people do. They're concepts for him, ideas rather than realities."

And that's what you chose to spend your entire life chasing? Was he worth the effort once you finally caught him? Kakashi wanted to ask, but he was afraid of the answer. Sakura had loved Sasuke for as long as Kakashi had known her. It had been a simple crush when they first met, then it turned into more. Kakashi wondered if Sakura understood love any better than Sasuke did. It wasn't the obsessive desire to win someone or the insatiable urge to hold them. Sometimes, love was letting go.

Kakashi knew that he should say something in response, or offer solace in the face of Sakura's pain, but he couldn't think of anything. Sakura moved past him without waiting for an answer, catching Kakashi's hand in hers like it was the most natural thing in the world. Her gentle pressure nearly pulled him from his feet as she walked back to the kitchen with a determined step.

Sakura released Kakashi's hand and pulled two glasses from a cabinet. She filled them both with the sugary concoction from Sarada's party, then, without asking, she pulled out a bottle of clear liquid from the freezer and added a healthy splash in each cup. Kakashi marveled at how easily Sakura moved around him; tension squeezed his chest, but the woman didn't seem to notice or care. Kakashi envied her ability to change so easily between one person and the next. He'd never had that skill.

Holding the electric blue drinks, Sakura came around the counter and set them next to Kakashi. She took a long sip from one of the glasses, then gave her head a small shake. He didn't move toward his cup, well aware that that drinking would lead to something that he couldn't take back. It already had, multiple times.

Sakura tipped her head to the side, studying Kakashi as her tongue collected the sticky moisture from her lips. Then, she leaned forward and hooked a finger in the top of his mask, dragging it lower. Kakashi captured her wrist, but he couldn't bring himself to stop her. The fabric slid down his nose, across his lips, and puddled against his chest. Kakashi expected Sakura to hold the drink up to offer him a sip. Instead, the sudden fullness of her mouth stole his breath. His hand fell away, dropping to his side as he sagged backward onto the stool behind him. Hard stone met Kakashi's back when Sakura took another step toward him without breaking the contact.

Tipping his head up and away, Kakashi murmured Sakura's name in a warning that sounded breathless even to his ears. His pulse pounded through his temple, erratic as he blew out a breath. Sakura exhaled with a slight smile. "It's good, right?"

It took Kakashi several moments to realize that Sakura meant the alcohol, not the kiss. He managed a weak laugh, shaking his head. "I'm not sure that's the most effective way to taste it."

Sakura reached for her glass, taking another long pull of the liquid. Before the woman could seal their lips together a second time, Kakashi brought the other to his lips. The sugary sweetness flooded his tongue, cut by the burn of alcohol. It left Kakashi's head spinning as he mumbled some kind of agreement. Sakura stood between his knees, her body the closest that it had been in months, trapping him on the stool.

Humming under her breath, Sakura looked up at Kakashi through her lashes. Every instinct in Kakashi's body told him to pull her closer and kiss the delicate pout on her lips. He could lift her and switch their positions, fitting their bodies close enough that not even air could interfere. Nearly a month of pent up desire clamored at the back of his mind, memories overlapping fantasies that left him dizzier than the alcohol.

Sakura rested her hands on Kakashi's thighs, leaning in a second time. Shuddering, Kakashi raised his chin just out of the woman's reach. He lost his breath in a whoosh when Sakura planted light kisses on his neck instead. His entire body responded, humming and twitching like an electrical current coursed through it. "Stop," he panted, resting his hands on her shoulders. "I don't—this isn't why I came today."

"No," Sakura asked, voice heavy with desire despite Kakashi's words. "That doesn't mean we can't enjoy being together again."

Kakashi blew out another breath, able to think more coherently now that Sakura had moved back half a step. He shook his head. "I meant what I said the last time we were together. This isn't what I want."

Sakura's eyes dipped down for a moment, a careful smile decorating her lips. "Are you sure?"

Heat flamed in Kakashi's cheek as he pushed Sakura back another step, just enough to get his feet beneath him. "Yes," he managed, though the word sounded strangled. Kakashi tugged at his pants to adjust the fabric, then gave it up as pointless.

To Kakashi's surprise, Sakura turned to take his seat instead of following him around the counter. Brilliant green eyes studied him, though. "You still want me though," she observed after a tense moment.

Kakashi chuckled and tightened his hand around his drink, tempted to down the sugary alcohol and throw caution to the wind. He ran his tongue over his lips instead, savoring the aftertaste of Sakura's mouth on his. "I want more than just that part of you."

Sakura didn't answer, taking another drink of her alcohol in the space between them. The nearly empty glass left a shimmer in Sakura's eyes and a soft flush on her cheeks as she considered the words. "Why can't you just be satisfied with what I can offer? You have to miss it."

"Because I'm selfish," Kakashi admitted, resting his palms on the cool stone of the counter as if it could keep him grounded in reality. "Because as much as I enjoy the sex, there's more to you than that."

"You're asking me to give up everything," Sakura began, shaking her head as she hopped off the stool to make herself a second drink.

Disbelieving laughter rumbled in Kakashi's chest. "This is everything? An empty house and a birthday party you have to pretend not to feel sad during? Being alone every night while you wait for someone who could be here if they wanted to be? He doesn't have to take these missions all the time, he could—"

The angry words poured out, dousing the desire Kakashi felt moments before as he struggled to hold back his bitterness. Sakura's eyes never left Kakashi's as he spoke, hardly reacting to the accusations until they slowed. Then, a cruel smile crossed her lips. "Who said I'm alone every night?"

Kakashi's heart did a painful double beat, then stopped. The idea that there could be someone else had never crossed his mind. He stared at Sakura like he'd never seen her before, but before he could formulate the question, she sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

The sentiment couldn't be recalled, however. Kakashi felt sick with the realization that what he and Sakura had shared could simply be a dot in a string of dalliances while Sasuke was away. He'd never considered that he wasn't the first and only man she entertained outside of her husband. How many others were there? Who were they? Jealousy, despair, and anger rippled through Kakashi.

A soft touch drew Kakashi away from the darkness in his mind, and he realized that Sakura held his hand. "It's only ever been you," she murmured, eyes flashing up to meet his gaze. There was no guilt or deception there, but Kakashi still felt as if the woman had pulled the rug out from under him. Warm fingers caressed Kakashi's cheek. "Even if I wanted someone else, it wouldn't be the same."

Catching Sakura's hand, Kakashi lowered it. "Thanks, I guess."

"It's so easy for you," Sakura accused, shaking her head. "You have nothing to lose if we don't work out. You just go back to your life like it never happened. I have to think about Sarada, about the appearance of us together, about my job."

Sakura ticked off the reasons, one after the other, a litany of why they couldn't be together. Kakashi nodded with each of them, having told himself the same things dozens of times. When she'd finished, he shook his head. "This isn't easy for me. Do you know how hard it is to watch the person you love throw themselves away for someone who never deserved them? To cling to something because it's the safest option?"

The question hung in the air, but Kakashi didn't need Sakura's answer. It had always been Sasuke for her, and it would always be. The idea that she was in love with Sasuke had been ingrained in Sakura too long ago for Kakashi to wash it away, no matter how ridiculous it was.

"The person you love." Sakura repeated each word as if she was enjoying the taste on her tongue.

Kakashi sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. "Yes," he answered, refusing to defend the statement further. Sakura knew how he felt, though he'd never said it outright. She had all but accused him of being in love with her the last time they were together.

"Do you think I have anything less to lose?" Kakashi scoffed, shaking his head. "Even if we work out, I'll always be seen as the man who ruined your marriage. As the creep dating a former student, a woman young enough to be his daughter. Hell, that alone is enough for the elders to question my suitability as the hokage."

Sakura hummed as if she'd thought the same things. "But?"

"But," Kakashi repeated with a humorless chuckle. "But, I'd endure all of that in a heartbeat if it changed the way things are."

Exquisite pain shattered through Kakashi's chest at the admission, sharper than the ribs he'd broken so many times before. He gestured around the house, refusing to meet Sakura's gaze. "This is the life you chose for yourself. I can accept that, I have to accept it, but don't expect me to agree. You deserve better."

Kakashi started to turn away, but unspoken words weighed his lungs like lead. He exhaled in a ragged burst. "I don't know if what we could have would be any easier, but at least you'd never doubt that I loved you."

"Don't," Sakura growled, hand slapping hard enough on the counter to crack stone. "Don't ask me to choose."

A sad smile crossed Kakashi's lips. "You already did."

-----------------------------------------------

Kakashi calculated his words to hurt, and they shot through Sakura like a kunai. She huffed out a breath, determined to defend her choice of Sasuke. Kakashi had never looked at her until she'd been married; they'd hardly been friends until the past couple of years. He'd never said anything about caring for her as more than that, and he'd never offered her anything beyond the same casual acknowledgement that he gave Naruto. There hadn't been a choice when it mattered.

That's not what he meant, and you know it, a small voice whispered in the back of Sakura's mind. Guilt swam through her stomach as she looked up at the man across from her. Pain filled Kakashi's dark eyes, even as he offered a smile to soften the blow of his rejection. Every inch of his face screamed heartache and the longing for something he couldn't have. Sakura knew it well; she'd felt about Sasuke for years.

"That isn't fair," Sakura managed after a couple of pain laced seconds. "I didn't know how you felt when I married Sasuke. Hell, you probably didn't know how you felt."

Kakashi tipped his head in acknowledgement. "You're right, but we know what we feel now. Or at least, what we felt. This was never just a casual friend with benefits fling, not for me."

Sakura knew that. She'd known since the first morning that she woke up in Kakashi's arms. Half hungover and dizzy with guilt, she'd waited for the man to apologize for letting their flirting get that far. Except, Kakashi hadn't. He'd trailed his fingers over her arm, across her hip, and down her leg. He'd looked at her like he was memorizing every inch of the skin that she'd bared to him the night before.

Then, Kakashi kissed Sakura again and made her body do things she'd only read about in the trashy romance novels that Ino liked so much. Fully sober, Kakashi had chosen Sakura again and left her breathless and desperate for more. He'd been an addiction that she couldn't see herself stopping. Kakashi was the type of lover that blocked out every question, every doubt, and every insecurity. He looked at Sakura like some goddess, worshiping her body in ways that left her aching for more. At least, he had, until he put a sudden end to their relationship a month ago.

"You were never a fling for me either," Sakura whispered, though she tasted the beginnings of a lie in her words. She'd used Kakashi at least as much as she'd helped him over the course of their relationship. "Besides, you're the one who ended things between us."

Kakashi laughed in disbelief. "I was tearing myself apart for you, and you didn't notice. Or, if you did, you never cared."

"Are you happier now," Sakura shot back, surprised at the venom in her voice. "Is this what you wanted? Our relationship might not have been perfect before, but it was better than this."

Some emotion crossed Kakashi's features, but Sakura couldn't pick up what it was. He exhaled in a steady stream and reached for the drink she'd made him what seemed like an hour earlier. Holding the glass in one hand, Kakashi shook his head and downed the entire thing like a shot. He closed his eyes against the burn of alcohol, and Sakura couldn't help but think how easy it would have been to step into his space and plant kisses along his jaw. He wanted her enough that his body responded, even if he fought off that attraction. Sakura remained where she was.

"That was the mistake," Kakashi said, thumping the glass onto the counter. A soft laugh rumbled in his throat. "You're so young that you can't tell the difference between love and obsession."

Sakura wasn't conscious of moving until her palm connected with Kakashi's cheek. His head snapped to the side. "Don't you dare blame this on me," she growled. "Don't speak down to me like I'm a child who doesn't understand how life works. I've seen more life and death than most people two and three times my age."

Kakashi opened and closed his mouth as if testing that his jaw still worked before responding. "It was my fault. I knew better; I knew that this was a mistake, and I did it anyway. I'll never be satisfied with having one part of you, but that's all you have left to give."

"Why did you come today," Sakura half shouted, trying hard to moderate her tone so she wouldn't wake Sarada. The girl should have been exhausted from her party and playing all day, but kids were tricky. "Why are you here if you don't want to fix things between us?"

"I didn't come for you." Kakashi's mouth tightened, the pink outline of Sakura's handprint starting to show on his cheek. "I knew we'd probably have this conversation, but today wasn't about you."

Sakura blinked, pieces tumbling into place with a clarity that left her breathless. Nausea nearly dropped her to her knees. "That present wasn't from Sasuke. You bought it and put his name on the tag. Why?"

"Because I've fought my whole life to make Konoha a place where kids can have both their parents in their lives," Kakashi shook his head. "We bled for the idea of peace and hope for a better future, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let him ruin that for her. Not yet."

The words hung in the air like the smoke after a paper bomb. Sakura stared at Kakashi as if he was a stranger. Her voice failed when she tried to ask why, replaying the joy on Sarada's face when she opened the gift she thought was from her father. Sakura should have thought to do what Kakashi had done. She should have been the one protecting her daughter from the cruelty of the truth, but she'd been too wrapped up with the million things that needed to be done.

Sakura tried to speak a second time but only managed a weak croak of Kakashi's name. Then an uncomfortable realization settled in her gut . She studied the hardness of the man's features and shame roiled through her like a thundercloud. "You've never talked about your parents," she realized, whispering the words aloud.

"You never asked," Kakashi shot back in an uncharacteristic show of temper. He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

Stepping closer, Sakura rested a hand on Kakashi's forearm. "I'm asking now."

Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut as if the question was too heavy to bear, and Sakura saw the same flash of humanity in him that she'd seen so long ago. He wasn't a superhuman, above emotion and feeling, he'd just learned to bury those parts of himself. Sakura knew that, she'd seen it when they were together, but to see it brought out again made her sad in a way she couldn't explain. She realized how little she knew about Kakashi's past despite the years they'd spent together as friends, then the months as lovers.

Sakura tightened her fingers against Kakashi's arm. "Tell me about them."

"I don't want to do this," Kakashi breathed, voice tight with pain. He exhaled hard like they'd been training for an hour and shook his head. "I can't have the thing I want, and the rest of it doesn't matter."

"I want to understand." Sakura rose with Kakashi, following him as he walked toward the door. He put his shoes on in silence, and she felt an overwhelming sense of loss at the idea of things going back to the way they had been. "Please, I can't go back to how we've been treating each other."

Kakashi's shoulders sank, and he paused with one hand on the door. For a minute, Sakura didn't think he would answer. Then, a sigh rumbled in his chest as he turned. "And, I won't be your secret any longer."

Sakura opened her mouth to say that Kakashi had all of her, that she wanted to give him everything, or that it was more complicated than he realized, but the admissions clung to her throat. He offered another smile. "Goodnight, Sakura."

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The room spun, tipping and turning around Kakashi as he fumbled a bottle back onto his nightstand. If he closed his eyes, he became less aware of the spinning. His stomach heaved, unhappy at the amount of alcohol that he'd dumped into it without food or water to cushion the blow. Tired and angry as he was, Kakashi couldn't bring himself to care. Each breath was a physical pain that seared through his chest like a knife.

Kakashi had gone to Sarada's party knowing that it was a mistake. He'd waited as long as possible, hoping against hope that Sasuke would wrap up his mission in time to be home. Kakashi convinced himself that he could leave Sakura and Sarada behind if Sasuke was there to take care of them. But, he never was. It had been four weeks of empty days and long nights. Weeks of staring at his phone, wondering if he'd made the right decision when he left Sakura.

The pain hadn't dulled with the passage of time. If anything, it had grown sharper. Kakashi and Sakura had gone for weeks without talking before. He understood that her life was busy with a young child, a blossoming career, and a sometimes husband. The fact that the latter hadn't been an issue didn't make things better. Kakashi knew that he'd hurt Sakura when he left, knew that she wanted to go back to the way things were, but he couldn't. Now that he'd faced that demon, he knew the truth. He loved Sakura too much to be happy with just half of her, no matter how amazing that half was.

Is this what you wanted? Kakashi had waited for those words a month, but Sakura didn't follow them up with anything that meant they had a future. She wanted Kakashi to be a convenient friend who made her feel the things that her husband didn't. But, she wouldn't risk her image or marriage to make it permanent. Kakashi would always be the shadow behind Sasuke.

Taking another swig of whiskey, Kakashi allowed himself to wonder about Sasuke and Sakura's marriage. He knew that she felt abandoned and disappointed more often than she felt cherished. If not, she wouldn't have come alive under his touch. She'd gone from throwing herself into dangerous behavior in Kiri because she was hurt to flourishing. The haunted expression left Sakura's eyes and her smile came more often. She laughed the way she once had, without a shadow of sadness in every movement. Or, maybe that's just how she'd been around Kakashi.

The memory welled in Kakashi's throat, and he wondered if he'd left Sakura better than he'd found her. The idea that he'd made things worse for the woman left a sick taste in the back of his throat. He had ended things for the right reasons, for the same ones that should have stopped her from entering his hotel room all those months ago. But, being right didn't seem to matter as much as it once had. The ache didn't care whether it was right or wrong; Kakashi missed and wanted her despite the sacrifices that he'd have to make.

Kakashi fumbled his phone off the nightstand and opened the messages, skimming over the past two texts that Sakura had sent. Even if someone had seen them, they were innocuous, carefully crafted to show nothing. She'd apologized and asked if they could talk about things, but she could have just as easily been talking about a disagreement over patient assessment as the end of their relationship. Even the text about missing him was veiled in friendship, suggesting it had been a while since they'd seen each other and they should catch up soon.

"Then, I had to go to the party," Kakashi slurred to the darkness of his bedroom. He'd wanted to get Sarada a gift from Sasuke, not because he cared what the girl thought about her dad in specifics so much as generalities. He could have offloaded it on Shikamaru and asked the man to take the package with no questions asked. It would have made sense, having the Hokage's office looking after the children of shinobi currently out of the village, especially a former student. He supposed that they'd both gotten good at hiding things in plain sight.

Kakashi had wanted to see Sakura though, no matter what reasons he came up with for attending the party. He'd wanted to see how she was doing, and how she'd fared after the split between them. The woman had been worn down, exhausted and overspent with the party. Kakashi saw the tension of her shoulders, the breathy, sharp quality of her words, and the way her eyes pinched in exhaustion. The past few weeks hadn't been easy on her, but she'd soldiered on as she always did. Without either Kakashi or Sasuke, Sakura kept going, and she always would. The woman's resilience was one of her most attractive features.

If Kakashi had been stupid to go to the party, he'd been stupider to stay afterwards. When he closed his eyes, he could feel the sticky warmth of Sakura's lips against his. The contact alone had been almost enough for Kakashi to ignore every reason not to sleep with her. He had wanted to pull Sakura against his body, spin their positions and settle her on the counter he'd been leaning against. His body ached for the contact, even now with the memory brighter than the reality had been. Sakura would have surrendered to him without question. The sex had always been the easiest part of their relationship.

Even now, the buzz of desire left Kakashi dizzy under the alcohol's influence. He checked his silent phone once more and considered typing out how much he missed and wanted Sakura. Kakashi was too drunk to go back to her apartment tonight, and she needed to stay with Sarada anyway. Kakashi could call her, he supposed. They'd done that once when she'd been away for work and he'd stayed in the village because there was no reason to follow her. Sasuke had been out of town then, as well.

Kakashi's body gave a soft twitch at the memory of Sakura's voice over the line, full of heat and desire as she described what she'd been doing, and what she would have done to him if they'd been together. Exhaling through his nose, Kakashi stared down at his phone. It would be easy, and it wouldn't cross as many lines as actually sleeping with her. Steadying his breath, Kakashi let his hand slide lower, imagining the ways Sakura had touched him so many times before.

Closing callused fingers around himself, Kakashi used the other hand to swipe to Sakura's contact information. He shuddered, body oversensitive after so long without any contact. Kakashi's left thumb hovered over the call button, then raised to brush over her picture. The screen lit up, enlarging the small icon to the full image. Kakashi stared into those sparkling green eyes that had captivated him for months, maybe even years.

Kakashi's hand moved of its own accord, body responding without waiting for his permission or conscious thought. It would be as easy as dialing the number, his mind suggested, through its alcohol induced haze. She'll answer and you can remember what it felt like again. The way she felt on your body, her mouth around you—groaning against the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears, Kakashi dropped the phone face down on the bed beside him and jerked his shirt toward his chest with his free hand. Warmth splattered across his stomach as his hips jumped in his hand.

The high wore off almost instantly, washed away by a tide of frustration and emptiness. Kakashi opened his eyes to the loneliness of his bedroom, and the fantasy that he'd created scattered in the darkness. A sob caught in his throat as he reached for his phone and threw it across the room.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Thick clouds cloaked the village of Konoha, the deepest hours of night providing the darkness that Sasuke preferred to move in. His chakra brushed against the invisible barrier that protected the village only because he allowed it to be picked up. There was no reason to hide his return, at least not this time, but he still moved in the shadows of the silent streets. Midnight had come and gone, a distant memory that left him closer to dawn than dusk. Sasuke hardly noticed; a sleep schedule wasn't something that he cared to keep up with.

Only a handful of lights filled the windows at this hour, but it wasn't unusual in a shinobi village. Much like Sasuke, shinobi had missions and tasks at all hours of the night. But, the single light glowing from the home that Sakura had chosen for them was strange. Sasuke stared at it for a moment, wondering if something was wrong, but he didn't sense any danger.

Sasuke unlocked the door and slipped inside, removing his sandals at the threshold. There were no voices in the house, so Sakura had probably left the light on by accident. She was likely asleep in their bed—the sound of glass clinking against stone brought Sasuke up short. He padded through the entry, wondering what made the noise. He couldn't imagine any scenario where Sakura would be out of bed at this hour unless something was terribly wrong.

When Sasuke rounded the corner, Sakura sat at one of the hgh stools beside the island counter. She leaned heavily against the surface, a glass held in one hand. An open bottle of vodka waited beside her. The sight made Sasuke's eyes widen; it was an expensive brand, not the swill that she and Ino mixed into fruity cocktails. A clear, sticky patina shone on the side of the cup; she'd been drinking the alcohol straight.

Sakura pushed into a sitting position, staring at Sasuke through red, puffy eyes. He frowned, wondering how much she'd been drinking to look as disheveled as she did. "You're home," she mumbled after a couple of awkward seconds.

"Yes." Sasuke nodded, closing the distance between then in three easy strides. "What's this about, then?"

"Could you have been here," Sakura ignored the question without seeming to hear it. An undercurrent of anger heated her voice, bright and deadly. "Did you miss it intentionally?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, then stopped and considered . It? What was it supposed to mean? He wasn't the best at keeping up with dates when on mission, usually because he was so far from civilization where things like that mattered. He stared at his wife with a blank expression until a bitter laugh spilled out of her. "You don't fucking remember, do you?"

Sakura dropped her feet to the polished tiles of their kitchen floor and made a move to storm past Sasuke. The alcohol left her off balance, and she stumbled. He caught his wife with one hand on her shoulder. Growling, Sakura ripped away from him. Sasuke stepped back, giving her the space she so clearly wanted.

As he did so, the man's eyes scanned the house with a critical eye. It was almost perfectly in order, but a pile of unused paper plates rested on the table next to matching napkins. A stray balloon, bright pink, clung to the ceiling in the corner of the room along with a curled spray of ribbon. The type you'd use for a birthday. Shit. Sasuke felt the air leave his lungs in a soft whoosh of disappointment.

"I missed your birthday," Sasuke reasoned aloud, starting to reach for Sakura. If he could take her in his arms, he might be able to make her forget the annoyance. Though, he wasn't good with that part of their relationship either. Sasuke usually just let Sakura work out her anger whenever she was ready rather than trying to fix it himself. "I'm sorry."

Sakura stood with her back to Sasuke, not speaking. A fine tremble of emotion worked through her body, strong enough to feel without chakra or touch. Sasuke had missed birthdays before, and she'd always been reasonable about it. Of everyone in Konoha, Sakura understood that he had to sacrifice some things for the good of others. She'd never been angry about it before, never. . . Sasuke's stomach tightened with realization. "Sarada."

For a second, the word hung in the air between them. Then, Sakura scoffed. "I'm surprised you know her name."

Sasuke had taken more wounds than most men over his lifetime, but the accusation in Sakura's voice cut deeper than any of them. He reached for his wife's arm, half to apologize and half to pull her against him, as if their bodies could smother out the pain. But, his hand never completed the journey. "That isn't fair," he whispered.

Sakura wobbled when she spun to face Sasuke, nearly falling when her feet tangled. "No," she growled, voice sharp enough to draw blood. "You do not get to say that. Don't talk to me about fucking fair. I have sacrificed everything for this family, for you. And, for what?"

The woman gestured around their meticulously groomed home, taking in the perfect photos on the wall and the shiny white cabinets in the kitchen. She scoffed at the back of her throat. "You know what isn't fair? Someone else bought your daughter a birthday present, pretending it was from you. Everyone else came to her party to celebrate. I cooked and bought and planned and decorated and cleaned and everything else it took."

"And you, you couldn't even remember the day," Sakura's fury built to a fever pitch that almost reached a shout. "It isn't fair that you tout this line about saving everyone else while you ignore the cost to our daughter."

It's not a line, it's the truth, Sasuke thought, but he pulled the words inside and held them there. Sakura wouldn't appreciate the realization or the cool indifference with which he delivered it. He exhaled. "I'm making the village safe for her too," he offered instead.

Angry tears filled Sakura's eyes, clinging to her lashes and spilling black streaks down her already darkened cheeks. "And, it's still not enough."

A sob rose in Sakura's throat as she stumbled from the kitchen, navigating the steps to their bedroom by muscle memory more than anything else in her inebriated state. Sasuke watched her go, wondering if he should go after her. He suspected that she wouldn't welcome his presence, much less his touch at the moment. He'd failed, again.

Sighing, Sasuke turned back to the counter and picked up the cap for the vodka and spun it on the top. He wasn't concerned about Sakura drinking, not really, though this had been more than a little. The woman's medical ninjutsu and seal helped her metabolize the alcohol more quickly than most people, much like Tsunade. But, he wondered at the timing. Had she been that upset about him not being here for the party, or was there something else?

Sasuke recalled Sakura's bloodshot eyes when he'd first walked into the room. She'd been crying before he got home, not because she was angry at him. At least, not from the fight that left her presumably sobbing on their bed upstairs. Something else had upset her, or she'd been already upset over the accusations that she'd lobbed at him when he got home. Sasuke wasn't sure that he wanted to know which.

Carrying the vodka across the kitchen, Sasuke put it away without taking a drink. He had no desire to lose himself in the heat, everything hurt enough already. Sakura's glass had thumped to the counter when she spun away in fury, lying on its side on the granite surface. When he reached for it, Sasuke noticed the second glass. He frowned and picked it up, inspecting the drink like it might reveal some answer.

Sasuke decided that was a question for another day. He ran both glasses beneath a stream of warm water and left them in the sink. Drying his hands on a towel on the counter, Sasuke glanced toward the stairs. He wished that he could erase the distance between himself and Sakura with a few easy words, but it had never been that simple.

Walking to the front of the house, Sasuke slipped his feet back into his sandals. Naruto had an open couch policy as long as Sasuke was willing to talk about what led him to the man's door. The blonde had an unshakable belief that Sasuke and Sakura would make their relationship work out in the end. Sometimes, Sasuke thought the blond's faith was the only thing that kept him believing in his marriage.

Sighing, Sasuke stepped back into the night.

#Dimi Writes #My writing #KakaSaku #Cheating Fic #Complicated emotions #SasuSaku too kind-of #This is a complicated exploration of what cheating does I think #Emotions are all over the place #Sakura #Kakashi #Sasuke #This triangle is a disaster

[holy-megs]

CAMPUS LIFE WITH BSD GUYS + NSFW TROPES

content + warnings: fem!reader, characters are all aged up [18+]

notes: just some hcs to make up for the lack of content <3

characters included: nakajima atsushi, ryuunosuke akutagawa, dazai osamu, chuuya nakahara

✰ 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐀 𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈 is the sweet and friendly guy around campus who helps anyone with anything they need him with. He is supposed to be your guy best friend, but things eventually start to get heated one evening when you two study at his place. You’ve been quite wary of the way his pretty eyes were staring at you so hungrily yet so innocently. You made the decision to initiate contact by settling into his lap and starting to make out with him passionately. At first he was shocked, but then he gave in to his desires as you both ended up lovingly fucking in his mattress.

✰ 𝐑𝐘𝐔𝐔𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀 is the intimidating and mean guy who you actually can’t stand. Although you hate him terribly, you can’t avoid being in his presence because you are his sister’s best friend. You both always argue for the stupidest reasons, and one day he just randomly grabs the back of your neck while kissing you roughly on the lips. You catch yourself being pushed into a wall when he starts thrusting his hips into your wet hole. You two try to be quiet just so Gin won’t hear you, and he also hushes your moans down by placing his hand over your mouth. Hate sex with him is always amazing, and from now on, you two fuck on a daily basis.

✰ 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔 is the guy who does every kind of random and dumb thing around there and is definitely the one you shouldn’t be lusting for. You two sleep together and literally never talk—just tease each other or pretend like nothing happens between you two. His commitment issues are so bad that you may accidentally get your heart broken by him the day after the mind-blowing sex you two had last night, as you caught him flirting with and kissing another bimbo. This is a never-ending cycle that one just needs to get used to, to be honest.

✰ 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀 is the cocky frat boy who fucks around too much for his own good, but that changes when he lands his eyes on you. He ends up fucking you rough at a frat party while you give him the best sloppy blowjob his dick has ever gotten, and from then on you two became fuck buddies who eventually caught feelings for each other but you two didn’t say anything—afraid of ruining the contrast. He is the jealous one—always putting way too much effort into your arrangement as you try not to fall for him even harder than you should.

© 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐲-𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐬, 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤. 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.

#nakajima atsushi x reader #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa smut #dazai x reader #chuuya x fem!reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #atsushi headcanons #dazai smut #chuuya smut #☾ — dimi writes. #☾ — dimi writes hcs.

[throwaway-yandere]

Everyday I feel like an idiot cuz I'd look up the yandere dimitri tag to see if there are new fics and become a sad puddle when there's nothing when I can just. Write. It. Myself? I can. I can write. Somewhat decently. The frick is stopping me.

And then I remember I have real world responsibilities and the cycle repeats for the next day hAHAHAHHAHA. Aight, going to sleep. It's time for that new samsara.

#the super secret other reason for not actually writing a yan!dimi fic is cuz I know #i can't exactly share it to my friends cuz they haven't played the game 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #and I'm mostly a genshin blog— i feel absolutely sad abt how when I do non-genshin ones it doesn't perform well #when will i find a fire emblem three houses moot shbfjajdisjisjsks where is this soulmate #if i ever find that person I fricking guarantee you I will absolutely reset my whole tumblr lore. #dain? who??? there's only ever been dimitri. ayato? HAHHAAHA who?— #my lore would be just an officer's academy alumni who writes in their spare time and I'd go on pretending #genshin is like the fricking Iliad and Homer— “heard they're written by the author Hoyo but I'm pretttyyy sure that's a collection of #authors and not just one person” #and then I'll be like one of the dante alighieris of “Genshin Impact”. boom. mic drop. war starts. /j #lord knows id be a very different person if i had a yan!fe:th content creator moot. lord knows it takes one “bad day” for me to #become the joker /jjjjjjj #ansy-stalks #yknow what. #i bet 500 mora that if i look up the ansy-stalks tag 90% of them has longer tags than the post itself hAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

the idea of three hopes dimivain is also so funny to me tho bc dimitri goes and recruits miklan and then miklan just gets back only to find out his brother and king are Very Close and he's just like "oh god. oh no". he knows exactly what he is going to be subjected to for the rest of his life.

#DCB Comments #your king is in a relationship with your brother what do you do. nothing exactly bc u can't; ur on faerghus probation #there is nothing you can do when they start kissing on the couch in front of u #u just have to accept that the king who gave u a new life is also kissing ur brother #bUT ALSO. all the happy family stuff THINK OF ALL THE HAPPY FAMILY STUFF #miklan saved by his eventual brother in law and being able to call the literal king his brother in law #and ALSO you have all the routes to consider. sb where miklan is left with his brother in law but his brother died #gw where miklan is alive and sylvain and dimitri are together #ag where sylvain and dimitri mourn losing him together #best option: ag au where he didn't fucking die #bc even if u consider gw well matthias died so here in this house we just consider the happiest option #which is AG: He Didn't Fucking Die #miklan going into dimi's office to report smth and he just stands there dead inside when he walks in on sylvain flirting with dimi #tell me there isn't room for shenanigans with this family TELL ME THERE ISN'T #you CAN'T because there is SO MUCH ROOM. it will be HEARTWARMING and it will be FUNNY #and ONE DAY matthias will go to dimitri and be like ''thank u for helping this family recover'' #AND miklan is going to be sylvain's best man at the wedding shut UP it's exactly what happens #dimivain in three hopes is absolute perfection for a lot of reasons but when u have to have miklan involved it's extra perfection #listen i warned y'all i woke up on the dimivain side of the bed (my cat was next to me maybe she woke up on the dimiclaude side) #this had nothing to do with the fic i was thinking of writing for months btw BUT that doesn't stop me from adding to my list of fics #also yes i am on the EDGE right now like i can tell i am going to sell my soul to gautier dimivain fam within the next few minutes #DCB Three Hopes Stuff

[hifrifrimetime]

In the process of coming up with a new idea for my tommy england/sixpack/dimi fic, I've realized there's some bits I'm going to have to rewrite. so here are some snippets that'll get changed but I still like a lot! Under the cut because it gets a bit long

.......

When the Fridays are incinerated, Thomas spends the day crying. It reminds him of the time he almost drowned when he was a little kid and got caught in a rip tide just off the Oregon coast. (Or the day of the Waveback). The taste of salt is overwhelming. Salt and snot. He wishes he could hear the pitched howls of a friend.

Then, it's the taste of blood. Bitter iron so consuming he's nauseous. The anger he tells himself he made peace with long ago surges in him. It's not fair. Not them.

Then it's just ash. Soot caking his mouth, dry as a desert. Days.

He's cleansed by the jailbreak. Fresh. Thomas screams and screams and screams his throat raw. He almost smashed his skateboard caught up in the waves emanating from him. It's the happiest he's been in a long, long time.

And then everything is weightless and the world goes black.

-------

The first thing he manages to feel again is the sensation of losing his breath. He's falling. Fuck he's falling fast and long. But it's not him. He experiences it like a dream; it's happening to him, but he's just an actor in a role.

Then everything tingles. It starts soft, barely a shiver, growing exponentially more, like his leg has fallen asleep but it's his whole body, and then more and more until it becomes painful to even twitch and everything is tv static.

And then he wakes up. Or returns. Or is simply conscious again. Thomas could never quite figure out what terms to use to accurately describe his retroactive non-existence existence.

Regardless. He's back in apartment 9C263, in his bed, blinking away the residuals of vertigo as he sits up. His room looks different. It's the same it's always been... but also not.

But it doesn't matter. Because as soon as he's remembering setting up his desk in this corner but somehow also that one, a mass of fluff and slobber and love comes bounding through the door and launches herself at Thomas without hesitation. They topple to the floor, and he bangs his head on the corner of his bedframe, but Thomas couldn't care less.

He's finally back with his girl.

......

It was different with Dimi. Whereas he and Sixpack had this special connection, there was something blocking them off from Dimi. Thomas could never catch him in the same room. Like a ghost in the corner of his eye. He was always on the periphery- or maybe it was Thomas who was.

At least, he and Sixpack were together again. Sometimes she would wander into his room at night and curl up in the bed next to him.

God, he had missed those walks. Sixpack had too. They go grocery shopping together and try unsuccessfully to make new recipes. Mostly they just saw each other.

#blaseball #thomas england #sixpack dogwalker #dimi wobbler #hawai'i fridays #fanfic #writing

[rowanthestrange]

Also the silent movie Dhawan!Master interplay with mute/nonverbal Timeless Child headcanons tho…

#hate how this idea is too visual to even try to functionally write #(the sound of gears turning in dimi’s head as we speak)

[valleynix]

OMG ANGST

what if Cassandra killed reader before she realized that reader was reader again in chapter 18?

And then finding out that Bela was alive and well all along?

STOP THIS HURTS

i'm gonna write something on it though EHEHEHEHEHE

It's over so quickly that she almost doesn't realize what's happened. Her human had been forced to mutate, all bloody and wrong, and while she knows it's not them, she has no other choice.

They would want her to grant them this mercy. She knows that.

It doesn't make the act any easier.

Her blade slices clean through the back of their neck, right where they always tell her to sever as they try to get away. That freak possessing their body had already killed Bela, and she wouldn't let them kill Daniela, too. She couldn't.

Her bird takes only a few stumbled steps forward, pausing and swaying as Daniela hesitantly reaches a hand up toward them. She stands in front of them, her brows pinched together as her eyes widen.

They lift their head, their arms dangling uselessly at their sides. She almost thinks she didn't succeed, and part of her wishes she hadn't when she sees them turn around to look at her.

They stumble back, their golden eye dulling as they stare straight at her.

It lasts only a moment, but her entire world has stopped when their eyes meet her own. She sees them; her idiot bird back in their body, that bit of recognition in their eye as they weakly lift their hand, claws reaching for her.

They fall back, their knees giving out beneath them, and she panics as she darts forward, trying and failing to catch their hand. Blood leaks out from behind their head as they stare blankly at the ceiling, and she doesn't know what to do.

Daniela wails and falls to her knees beside them, her hands shaking as she tries to wake them, and all Cassandra can do is let her sickle drop to the floor as she continues to stare after them.

She killed them. She killed them.

Not their copy; not this time. She's killed the only person she thought she could trust and love-

She doesn't know what to do. She thinks tears well in her eyes as she watches her sister try and try to shake them awake, but they remain limp in her grasp, their blood staining her knees where she kneels.

Is she saying something? She isn't sure if she's doing anything or if she's just watching their body become grey-ish and turn to ash.

She tries to tell herself it was for the better as she falls to her knees, her own hands shaking violently when she raises them to grasp their clawed hand. It crumbles in hers, and she stares in shock.

She knows what this is, what she's feeling, but the knowledge doesn't help her fight it any. She's stuck with the heavy feeling in her chest and shoulders, stuck staring at the way their body crumbles beneath her.

To be honest, she isn't sure how much time has passed. Throughout it all, Cassandra has tried to convince herself that she did the right thing. Her oldest sister was gone, and she couldn't allow them to keep living after they - intentionally or not - killed a member of their family.

She wishes they hadn't told her. Would it have made this easier?

There comes a time, eventually, that she grabs onto Daniela and tugs her away, murmuring an apology as she does. She's a lot stronger than her little sister, so she drags her away from their bird's crumbling body easily, but hearing her wails and yells as she tries to fight and go back to them hurts. It's a pain she's never felt before, and she doesn't want to feel it again.

It's why she pushes everyone away and keeps most out of her heart. They only end up damaging it and hurting her-

She turns down a hallway with Daniela held tightly in her arms, her hands clenched so tightly that her knuckles ache. She isn't sure where she's going, but she has to get away. Perhaps to her mother or her aunt?

It's when she sees Bela staggering down the far end of the hallway, a hand pressed against her head. She sees her younger sisters almost immediately, relaxing as she focuses on them, and Cassandra can feel herself break.

Her sister is alive. She's fine and she's here and they're not-

She has never considered herself a lovey person when it came to Bela. They'd always had that bit of sibling rivalry that she could never remember how it even started, and she pretended not to care that her sister was gone in the first place.

Seeing her here, after what she had done...

She's never embraced Bela before, she realizes. It must come as quite the shock to her when she erupts into a cloud of flies and slams into her older sister, her tears already leaking down her cheeks as she sobs into her shoulder.

She's held as tightly as possible, fingers digging into her back as a kiss is planted to the side of her head. She doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know what to do-

Daniela joins them, incoherently trying to explain what's happened, where their bird is, what they became-

Cassandra does not listen. She clings to her older sister as tightly as she can, and all she can see is them.

She failed them. If she had waited, if she had tried to help-

She does not go back to their body, even when her sisters do. She refuses to look at it, instead choosing to keep watch at the end of the corridor as her siblings have their own moment about it.

It's weeks later that Cassandra breaks down in front of her mother after she made a comment about their bird's untimely demise by her hands. She's held throughout the night, her sobs echoing throughout her mother's bedroom, ringing in her ears.

She could swear she sees them, sometimes, in the maids. She is losing her mind, she knows, but perhaps that is the price to pay for what she has done.

There comes a time, months later, that she finds herself struggling to picture what they looked like. Rough sketches with scribbled out faces line her sketchbook, and after a time, she does not remember them.

#asks #this was not proofread btw #i dont have the brain power for that #but here it is :3 #heart ripping posts #i'm gonna get to the drunk dimis ask probably tomorrow #i lost all my brain cells trying to write this out #idek if it makes sense #but it upset me so here

[dmclemblems]

dimitri literally is completely suicidal in this game right to the end

is nobody going to actually help this man i mean he literally just said there is nobody he more desires to end than himself and then says he must thank their adversary for letting him kill a phantom of himself

like

is nobody going to help him

not even after this being one of many instances of him being utterly suicidal

i mean he’s very vocal about it

is nobody... gonna... help him...

#Three Hopes #Dimitri #literally like ??? i get that there's only so much time for writing and stuff #but with the amount of times he says suicidal things you'd think they'd have room to like #stick something in there where someone gets super worried #especially after chapter eight I mean you'd think with how strong his support system is #that ppl would be like whoaaaaaaaaaa back up what did you say #BUT NO NOPE NOBODY EVEN SITS HIM DOWN AND TALKS TO HIM and I don't even blame the characters #I blame it on being a poor writing choice bc the characters SHOULD and ABSOLUTELY WOULD #but the writers for some reason just decided not to include it which is kinda lame #he obviously needs a lot more than just a support system alone #as someone who has been in the same mental place and said the same kind of shit just as often #he needs a lot more than just good friends bc good friends are great but that alone doesn't cure the problem #ngl he's the most openly suicidal character probably in the FE franchise and it's a huge shame that #they didn't bother writing in people actually trying to do something about it bc when it comes to #how severe Dimi's mental illness is they did a good job with that esp in AM #but they don't rly have ppl properly helping him through it and you can do that without needing modern therapy #I mean if Rodrigue heard him talking like this you better BELIEVE he would not let it go and would talk to Dimi #it's a shame they basically just left out all the blatant worry and care that everyone would have had

[shywitchyfangirl]

A Sibling Heart-to-Heart: Dimentio x Reader

My entry for @thereaderinsertlady‘s Underrated Character Event. This is my first ever real published fanfic. Feedback is appreciated but please have mercy. Also please know that this is less of a traditional X Reader and more of a “How would Dimentio and Shadoo cope after the reader saved them?” I’m a sucker for hurt-comfort and I will not apologize.

“You shall return to me, accursed Shayde. There is no escape. You shall pay for your actions. And they shall pay with you…”

Dimentio awoke with a gasp as he’d grown well accustomed to in the past few months. As the horrific image of the Underwhere retreated once more from his waking mind, he yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Once upon a time, even this relatively tame nightmare would have him screaming and sobbing until Shadoo and/or [Y/N] came to console him from his hysterics, but he was pleased to find that, as with all things in his long, long life, he’d gradually grown desensitized to even these nightly trips back down to the depths. At least, his waking self had. If only his dream self would grow bored of his futile pleas for mercy then the whole matter would be settled. But then again, it isn’t like his real self had ever grown numb to what he’d suffered down there…

Brushing that unpleasant thought away before it could take root, Dimentio shuffled out of bed and began preparing for the day. No point in trying to sleep more, he’d just see her again, and the later he slept in and the more night terrors he had, the greater the odds of Shadoo sensing one. Then it’d be all “Dimi, why didn’t you tell me the nightmare wards aren’t working?” and when he explained that they actually are working because usually his dreams were much worse, she’d just give him that horrified look that had sadly stopped being hilarious after the fiftieth time. Alas, why must even the most lustrous of gems lose their shine with time?

Of course, what he really wanted to avoid was [Y/N] finding out. They never took well to hearing about any slight misfortune he suffered. Their heart was soft like gourmet butter spread upon a warm English muffin, and they never seemed to understand that, compared to what he’d suffered in the Underwhere, even the most disastrous of events was as pleasant as a free trip to a luxury spa. But then, what did he expect? This was the magician who had seen the would-be destroyer of reality serving his just sentence in the Underwhere and been mortified by what they saw. The one who had offered their own soul as collateral in exchange for his freedom. The one who would be dragged down to the depths along with him if he ever set a toe out of line again.

They hadn’t been lovers then. He’d have understood if they were. Knowing [Y/N], he’d have even understood if they were complete strangers. But they knew who he was. The whole multiverse did. And yet, they’d rescued him, taken him in, and nursed him back to health and sanity despite his constant protests. They’d even tracked down the sister he’d long thought game-overed. They truly believed that, given the chance, he could do better. He could be better.

So, naturally, he’d fallen madly in love with them.

Dimentio had such mixed feelings about his new lover’s sweet and gentle nature. On one hand, he could think of no one better suited to lead his literally damned soul to redemption than someone who was nothing less than a Nimbi themself. The thought that they might be his new destiny, fate’s way of amending the damage inflicted upon his mind by that accursed book, comforted him more than he dared to speak aloud.

And yet…

Dimentio wasn’t blind to his sins. He held no delusions that his actions, no matter how necessary and justified, were anything less than vile, despicable, sadistic, and unforgivable in the eyes of all who saw him. He knew perfectly well that his soft-hearted darling would never look him in the eyes again if they knew the true depths of his villainy. His mere presence defiled their purity. He had no more business by their side than he had in the Overthere itself. He was their antithesis in every conceivable way.

They wanted to save worlds, he wanted to destroy them.

They were a Nimbi.

And he was a Shayde.

Dimentio glared at his reflection in the mirror. As charming and handsome as ever, but of course it was a lie. This body he now resided in was nothing but an artificial shell, created by [Y/N]’s magic in the image of how he’d looked in life. It changed nothing of what was inside. His soul was still cursed, its fate sealed not by Queen Jaydes’ judgement, but 3,000 years ago by destiny itself and the book that had dubbed him the Dark One. No amount of magical makeovers could change the fact that he was a game-overed man walking. And it certainly couldn’t change how eager Queen Jaydes was to bring him back under her nonexistent mercy, and drag the savior who’d dared to steal him from her right down with him.

With a bitter scowl, Dimentio slammed a fist into the mirror… only to yelp and cuss as he shook out his now throbbing hand. The mirror, of course, was completely unharmed. Artificial as his new form may be, it was still just as physically weak and frail as the rest of his former tribe. Now feeling embarrassed on top of everything else, Dimentio stomped down the stairs, muttering things that brought new meaning to the phrase “pardon my French.”

“You really need to stop this daily brooding, it’s making you grumpy,” commented a voice in his head that was definitely NOT his own.

“Get out of my head, Shadoo,” Dimentio snapped, doing his absolute best to give the mental impression of a death glare in his sister’s general direction.

Dimentio somehow felt his sister mentally rolling her eyes at him. “Well don’t brood so loud then. I can’t hear my own thoughts over yours.”

Dimentio was not in the mood for this. Time to take things out of her domain and into his own. With a wave of his hand, Dimentio tore open a cubic portal in space, on the other side of which the entire rest of his tribe was sitting at a table eating cereal. Shadoo shot him a deadpan look. “Dimi, the dining room is 5 feet away from you.”

“Well then come out here and roll your eyes at me in person instead invading my brain like a catchy advertising jingle for cheap bubblegum,” Dimentio huffed, stepping through the portal and grabbing the box of cereal with indignity.

If there was one singular thing Dimentio could thank the Pure Hearts for, it was restoring his sister to her true form. The teenager was back to how she was in life, as though the past 3,000 years had never happened. Dimentio didn’t know why or how the Pure Hearts had restored her, but apparently they’d also somehow restored the lost Nimbi princess, as Queen Jaydes had taken great joy in rubbing in his face. No doubt they’d also whisked the count and his fiancée away to the safety of some far off world and even restored her to her human form for good measure. Miracles abound, happy endings for everyone. Whoopdie-tap-dancing-doo.

“So…. what’s wrong?” Shadoo asked, watching Dimentio pour entirely too much cereal into the bowl she’d set out for him.

Dimentio glared back at her, taking care to completely empty his mind. The question was a trap, she obviously didn’t expect him to answer. However, she would be quick to snap up any thought that flickered through his mind as a result. “Nothing you need to worry about, Shady.”

“Of course,” Shadoo deadpanned, raising an eyebrow. “That’s why you won’t let me see any of your thoughts. Because nothing’s wrong.”

“Or perhaps I simply don’t want my nosey little sister digging around in my brain like a shopper searching for something watchable at the bottom of the discount movie bin,” Dimentio snapped, teleporting a milk jug from the fridge.

“I only read your mind because you read my diary,” Shadoo chided with a sassy wave of her spoon.

“I only read your diary because you read my mind,”  Dimentio countered. “How else could I level this horrendously uneven playing field between us?”

“Level the playing field?” Shadoo frowned, tilting her head in confusion. “I can read minds and create illusions. You have a whole private dimension full of things I can’t reach even if I know about them. How do you think I have the advantage?”

Dimentio smirked, resting his head on a floating fist as he took up a spoonful of cereal. “My dear sister, on the battlefield of sibling rivalry,  do you really think my little secret hideaway trumps your ability to know my every embarrassing thought?”

Shadoo thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Touché,” she conceded, before taking a bite of her cereal.

For a few moments, the two ate in companionable silence. Then, Shadoo ruined it. “It’s about [Y/N], isn’t it?”

“Could I have my thoughts to myself for five minutes?!” Dimentio shouted, nearly spilling his cereal.

Shadoo smirked. “I wasn’t reading your mind. It was obvious. But thank you for confirming.”

Dimentio growled at Shadoo, filling every ounce of his mental capacity with a vivid image of an obscene gesture. Unfortunately this only seemed to make Shadoo even more smug, and she grinned wickedly at him as she stood to take her now empty bowl to the sink. “You really like them, don’t you brother dear?”

“Shadoo, we are both over 3,000 years old. Don’t you have anything better to do than to gossip about who I ‘like?’” Dimentio sneered.

“If we’re so very old, then why are you moping around your room like an angsty teenager?” Shadoo countered, radiating victory as she rinsed her bowl.

Dimentio allowed the smallest mental space for him to be annoyed with himself. She was right. She was right and he hated it. This wasn’t him. The brother she grew up with was suave, collected, and always in control. Time had only heightened that trait, as even the most shocking of events lost its edge in the grand scheme of all he’d been through. He’d even faced the agony of game-overing with a spiteful grin, and now here he was, as emotional as a high school girl sobbing on the school staircase after catching her prom date making out with her best friend. Stars above, when did he become so weak?

Oh right. When he had them, of course. [Y/N] and Shadoo. It had been 3,000 years since he’d last cared about literally anything, and now he had two. His mask was getting ripped off, and he no longer recognized the person underneath it.

“Dimi…” Shadoo cooed soothingly, no doubt sensing his frustration as she approached him and gently rubbed his back. “You know you can tell me anything. I understand what you’re going through.”

Whoops.

Before either sibling could process what happened, Shadoo was knocked to the floor, with Dimentio standing over her. Shadoo stared up at him with a mixture of shock, indignation, and caution in her mismatched eyes. Dimentio in turn stared back down at her, his signature grin slowly returning to its rightful place on his face as something began to unravel deep inside him. Something that he’d kept tightly wrapped for months. It almost felt good to let loose again.

“Dim-” Shadoo started, only to be interrupted by a low chuckle from her brother. A chuckle that grew and grew into a mad, uncontrolled cackle. Shadoo’s eyes widened and she shuffled back slightly as her stomach dropped.

“Oh, so you understand me, do you, Your Highness?” Dimentio sneered.

Shadoo winced, then scrambled to her feet, a bubbling fury beginning to fight back her unease. “Wha- How dare you!” she snapped back. “Don’t you dare call me that!”

“Aww, what’s wrong?” Dimentio cooed, a sadistic glint in his eyes. Some last screaming fragment of his rapidly drowning sanity told him he had no reason to antagonize his own sister like this. However, at the moment, he couldn’t help feeling a lot like how he had when he’d stood at the precipice of game-over and decided on a whim that all of reality should plummet with him. “Did I hit a sore spot? My, it must be oh-so-very hard being you, carrying the burden of a traumatic past that almost no one knows about or could ever hope to connect you to. Honestly, it’s a wonder you get out of bed every day, having to face a world that sees you as an ordinary teenage girl and nothing more. My poor, poor sister.”

Dimentio had barely finished his cruel taunt when he found himself now shoved to the ground in Shadoo’s place, his sister trembling above him as she struggled not to ruin her hateful glare by crying. Somehow, this only served to renew Dimentio’s crazed laughter. “I-i-is th-that what you think?!” Shadoo sputtered. “That this has been easy for me? I... D-do you think it’s easy knowing that I destroyed our tribe? I still have nightmares, same as you!”

“Oh PLEASE,” Dimentio huffed as he floated up off the floor. “That thing wasn’t even you. Your hands remain as clean as a collectable figurine saved unopened in its box and stored away forgotten in a dusty attic.” Dimentio narrowed his eyes, his grin suddenly slipping from his masklike face. “You couldn’t begin to understand.”

“Dimen-”

“Shut up.”

“No, I-”

“Shut up!”

“You shut up!”

“No, you!”

“Shut up, you stupid jerkwad!”

“Get out of my face, you obnoxious brat!”

“Self-absorbed buttface!”

“Go play with your imaginary shadow friends, you pest!”

“I’m telling father!”

“You’ve got nothing on me, you glorified goth wannabe!”

“FAAAAAAAAATHEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!”

Silence.

For what could have been two seconds or two years, the siblings merely stared at each other in increasing horror. Eventually, Dimentio took the lead, awkwardly clearing his throat as he dropped back from the air to his feet. ”A-anyway...”

Shadoo, still stunned in place, watched silently as her shaken brother returned to his seat and resumed blankly shoving soggy cereal into his mouth. Finally she shook her head, clearing her thoughts as she reclaimed her seat across from him. Shadoo stared directly into Dimentio’s eyes, fiery determination flashing in her own. “What don’t I understand?”

“Shubbub” Dimentio mumbled through a mouthful of cereal.

“Tell me, Dimi.”

“Mmmrrph!”

“Tell me!”

“For flip’s sake, Shadoo!” Dimentio slapped the table hard in frustration, once again yelping as his hand took far more abuse than the wood. He took a few seconds to scowl at Shadoo as though she were somehow responsible for his hand’s continued abuse. Shadoo, in turn, made no effort to hide her smirk.

“Despite your impressive efforts to convince me otherwise, I know you’re not stupid, Shady. It shouldn’t need to be said that your distant past sins pale before my present ones like a flickering candle held before an actively erupting volcano. One of us cannot leave this pocket dimension for fear of being brutally murdered by every sapient being in the entire multiverse, and the other one went shopping for cute dresses yesterday. We are not the same.”

Shadoo narrowed her eyes at Dimentio, and he could almost sense the indignation radiating off of her, as though she were offended he’d even think about downplaying his emotions around her. Mistress of Minds, indeed.

“That’s not what you’re upset about,” Shadoo stated plainly.

“Oh? It seems like perfectly valid reason to be upset to me,” Dimentio deadpanned in return.

“It would be, for most people. But you’re not most people.”

“I’m flattered.”

“You’re too stupid to be upset about that.”

“Well screw you too, dear sister.”

“I know you too well, Dimi. You’re a smug, over-confident, self-absorbed asshole. And the most powerful dimensional magician to ever live. You’re not upset about the angry mobs because you’ve probably already snuck out 12 times.”

“15 actually.”

“And I know it’s not just guilt because some part of you still thinks you were justified in everything.”

“I still don’t see how I landed in the Underwhere while that so-called count got to live happily ever after. I wasn’t the one who tried to trick a group of trauma victims into mass-murder-suicide by promising them their wildest dreams. I was at least going to give everyone what they wanted. And frankly with me controlling the Chaos Heart the-”

“Dimi.”

Dimentio blinked, then shoved the last of the soggy cereal in his mouth, making a point to casually stare at nothing off to the right so as to hide the blush rising on the pale side of his face.

“So what is it.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Dimi.”

“It’s none of your business!”

“I know it’s about [Y/N]!”

“YES IT’S ABOUT [Y/N]!” Dimentio snapped. “It’s about them and it’s about you!”

Shadoo winced slightly at the sudden outburst, but did not retreat, silently bidding him to continue as she watched him with sympathetic eyes.

“I don’t care what happens to me,” Dimentio sighed, teleporting his bowl to the sink with a snap of his fingers. “I’ve had 3,000 years to master the art of watching my own back, and if I do get recaptured then so be it. I’m not blind to what I am or what I’ve done, and I’m prepared to sleep in the bed I made no matter how many nails Queen Jaydes filled it with. I don’t regret my choices. I knew what the consequences would be when I made them.”

Shadoo nodded, hoping her brother couldn’t see the pain in her eyes. As much as she begged him to be more open with her, it always stung hearing him say such things when he was. Which sadly was probably why he usually wasn’t.

“But you two...” Dimentio finally returned his sister’s gaze. “You were not part of that decision. I had nothing to lose when I gambled my game to attain godhood. But now that I’ve already lost, I have two things. Two people at risk of paying my debt.”

Shadoo felt the table vibrating beneath her hands, and noticed that her brother had started trembling. His apathetic façade was rapidly falling apart, replaced by an expression of fear and despair she hadn’t seen since they’d put up that nightmare ward.

“Do you have any idea how scared I am every time you leave Dimension D? I can protect myself, but what about you? What about [Y/N]? What if someone figures out that you’re my sister, or that [Y/N] is my lover who dragged me from the Underwhere where everyone agrees I belong? What if an angry mob ends [Y/N]’s game and they get sent to the Underwhere in my place because rescuing me is the second worst sin imaginable, second only to being me?” 

Dimentio’s eyes widened in growing hysteria.

“What if- What if I do something? Something bad? Bad enough to ruin that deal they made with Queen Jaydes? I’ve been the Dark One for 3,000 years, Shady, I don’t know how to be anything else! It would only take one second, one wrong move, one stupid thought and we’d both be screaming at the bottom of the River Twygz for all eternity. They don’t deserve it. I do but they don’t! And neither do you! You shouldn’t be in danger because of me! I’m just a walking timebomb ready to blow up everything I love and-”

Dimentio snapped out of his crazed ranting as he felt something press against him, and realized his sister was hugging him. Or... no, not Shadoo. She was still sitting across from him, giving him that smug grin she always wore when she tricked someone into confessing thoughts she already knew they had. So then who...?

“Dimentio...”

[Y/N].

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how scared you were. If you want we could discuss protective spells or regular check-ins or whatever will make you feel better. But I’m not worried about you, okay? I trust you. You’ve already come so far, and I’m so proud of you. You should be too.”

It was too much. How did they always know just what to say to break him? He was already exhausted from his outburst at Shadoo, and now this. Defeated, Dimentio buried his face against [Y/N] and quietly sobbed. He was just too tired to rebuild his shattered mask today.

“Thanks for calling me over.” [Y/N] shot Shadoo a conspiratorial smile.

Shadoo winked. “Thank you for taking care of my idiot brother. Perhaps we’ll make a functional adult of him yet.”

#baby's first fanfic #dimi's probably so out of character good god #dimentio is an angsty teenager #shadoo is a good sister #but also annoying #Underrated Character Event #ask to tag #seriously i have no idea what trigger warnings to add for this #but it probably needs some #angst #so much angst #dimentio x reader #fanfic #super paper mario #spm dimentio #spm shadoo #y/n #reader insert #my writing #tw angst #tw trauma #tw implied torture #i'd tag the murder-suicide thing #but that's just the plot of spm #post-game events #tw self deprecation

[endlesscacophony]

Let it be known - I intend to be more active, if possible life has been insane recently lol, but that I STILL LOVE DIMITRI FIRE EMBLEM.

#i had to go back to my dimi graphics bc The Boy:tm: #and i love him #ALSO IM ALWAYS AROUND ON DISO #writing has just been insane and incredibly hard since i broke my ankle lol #you'd think that would give me more time? but no alas the world is out to get me lol #anyway #I've also been mostly active on my Kaveh blog as well so whoops #i have a thing for tragic blondes what can I say #◣ 𝘗𝘈𝘜𝘚𝘌𝘋 (𝘰𝘰𝘤)

[dimigex]

All or Nothing - You Know I'd Fight For You (KakaSaku)

A03, Fanfiction, Ko-fi

This is the newest installment of the mess I started with I'll be the Moon. It's not going to be for everyone. Make sure you check the tags before you read! I'm going to tag @birkastan2018 simply because I've been teasing this mess for a while.

Full chapter below the cut!

Huffing out a breath, Sakura pushed a strand of hair behind her ear for the fifth time. She frowned at the banner on the wall in front of her, then growled when she realized that it was crooked, again. Tearing the tape loose, Sakura tugged the flimsy material a couple of inches higher and checked again. “Fourth time’s the charm,” she grumbled under her breath. The bright pink letters stood out in stark contrast with the white background: H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y S-A-R-D-A-!-!

Sakura stared at the letters for several seconds, then hissed in annoyance. She should have checked the banner more closely before putting it up, but she’d been in a hurry when she stopped by the printer. Glancing at her watch, Sakura’s complaint deepened into a resigned sigh. She needed to finish decorating, pick up the cake from the bakery, retrieve the balloons, and cook before the guests started to arrive.  

Before having a child, Sakura hadn’t realized how much work went into planning a birthday party. That’s why there’s usually two people for it, a traitorous voice whispered in the back of her mind. Out of habit, Sakura’s gaze turned toward the place on the wall where the picture of her and Sasuke usually hung. She’d meant to pick up a new frame for the one that she and Kakashi had broken, but she hadn’t gotten around to it. It was somewhere on her list of impossible things to accomplish each day after work. 

“Mama?” The small voice drew Sakura from her multitude of worries, and she turned to find Sarada walking down the hall with a beaming face. Streaks of blue, red, and yellow marred the girl’s cheeks and arms, smeared into her clothes, and clung to her hair in sticky, colorful strands. 

“Sarada!” Sakura’s tone brought the girl up short. Her lower lip puckered out, and tears filled her dark eyes. Sakura tried counting to ten under her breath the way she’d read about, but she only made it to four. “What did you do?” 

Liquid trickled from the corner of one eye, threatening to become a deluge. “I painted a picture, mama.” 

In her horror at the paint marring her daughter’s face, Sakura hadn’t noticed the paper that Sarada held. There were two vaguely humanoid shapes on the page, comical smiles painted on their faces as they stood in front of a rudimentary house. A thick streak of blue dripped along the edge of the page, threatening to fall to the floor. Moving on instinct, Sakura scooped the paper and Sarada up in one effortless movement. It was only when she felt the dampness soaking through her shirt that she thought about the mess it would make. Ignoring that, she carried them both to the bathroom. 

“You like it?” Guiltless black eyes stared up at Sakara as she settled Sarada on the counter, tears still threatening to reappear at any moment. 

Sakura forced herself to take another breath as she took the picture away from her daughter and laid it beside them. She smiled through the stress that had built up at the back of her neck and nodded. “I do, but are you supposed to use the finger paints without mama?” 

Sarada considered for a moment, then shook her head. “No.” 

“Then, why did you?” Sakura continued, wondering if trying to teach a child logic grew easier or more difficult as they aged. Five years into it, and she was starting to think that she’d be repeating herself forever. 

The impish grin that split Sarada’s face would have normally melted Sakura’s annoyance. “ I wanted to surprise you.” 

Sakura managed to count all the way to ten before nodding. Being angry wouldn’t solve anything, and she knew that her annoyance was largely from the stress of the party rather than the painting. She should have gone to check on why Sarada was being so quiet, but she’d thought the girl was playing with her dolls, blocks, or one of the other toys that littered the floor most of the time. She peeked her head back into the hallway where she could see the shelf that held the art supplies and noted the chair that Sarada had used to reach them. Sakura would need to move them higher still, right after she cleaned up the mess. 

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” Sakura stripped the paint-smeared clothing off of Sarada and tossed it into the hamper. Warm water would remove the rest of the mess, but it wouldn’t leave them much time to get ready for the party. Sighing, Sakura pulled her cell phone from the pocket of her pants. For the briefest moment, she considered texting Kakashi. He’d been there for her in the past when she needed help in a pinch, but they hadn’t spoken since their fight. 

Pushing the thought away, Sakura selected Naruto’s number instead. The phone rang twice before the man’s familiar voice filled her ear. “Hey, Sakura. Are we late already,” he asked as soon as the line connected. 

Sakura managed a chuckle as she turned on the bathtub. “No, the party isn’t til four, but I was hoping you or Hinata could do me a huge favor.” 

“Sure, what’s up?” Naruto rarely asked what Sakura needed before offering to help; he simply jumped in where he could. Though the years had morphed them into adults with a myriad of new responsibilities and worries, some things would never change. 

A wash of nostalgia stole Sakura’s breath. She gave herself a few heartbeats to wonder what life might have been like if things were different, but she couldn’t follow that path. Shaking her head, Sakura returned her attention to the girl in the bathtub while simultaneously focusing on the man on the phone. That was her life now. 

“I was hoping you guys might be able to come over early and help me decorate. Or, maybe play with Sarada so I can finish cooking? I have so much to get done, but it’s impossible to do it all by myself.” Turning off the water, Sakura pulled a fluffy, pink towel from the closet, balancing the phone between her shoulder and ear. 

For a moment, silence answered the request. Then, Naruto’s voice returned, gentler than before. “Isn’t Sasuke home?” 

“He has a mission,” Sakura responded, refusing to question why she protected her husband from their former teammate’s scrutiny. It wasn’t like Naruto didn’t know how long the man was away. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t see that Sasuke wasn’t home. Still, Sakura put on the best face over the absence. “Sasuke wasn’t able to complete it before the party, but he’ll be home as soon as he can.” 

Naruto started to say something, then cut himself off with a sigh. “Let me make sure that Hinata can have Boruto ready, then we’ll be there. Give me just a sec.” 

Sakura listened as Naruto called out for Hinata. They talked in muffled tones on the other end of the phone as she turned her attention back to Sarada. The girl stared up at her with a far too calculating expression. Sarada had Sasuke’s coloring, all dark hair and unreadable, black eyes. Her gaze was sharp as her father’s sometimes. 

Before Sakura could dwell on it, Naruto returned to the phone. “Yeah, we’ll be over in a little bit. Give us like twenty minutes?” 

“You’re a lifesaver,” Sakura breathed, feeling some of the tension ease out of her shoulders at the idea of finally having help with everything that needed done. “I’ll see you soon.” 

After disconnecting the call, Sakura smoothed a hand over Sarada’s soft hair. “You’ve got five minutes, then you’re getting out.” 

When the girl returned to playing with the toys she’d left in the tub the previous night, Sakura glanced back at her phone. She still needed someone to pick up the balloons and the cake. A part of Sakura knew that if she asked Kakashi, he would do it. They hadn’t seen each other since that terrible night a month ago. His voice echoed in the silent place of Sakura’s heart, sharp and jagged as broken glass. 

Sakura had texted Kakashi twice since their fight, break-up, or whatever it had been. She apologized once, then told him that she missed him and wanted to fix things between them. Both of the messages had gone unanswered, which Sakura knew was an answer in itself, much as the empty room had been. Kakashi had broken off their relationship, then left it behind without a backward glance. She did her best to accept the man’s decision while pretending that she didn’t feel like she’d lost a piece of herself in the process. He’d decided the course of their relationship, and as much as Sakura wanted something else, she had to accept it. 

Despite those thoughts, Sakura pulled up Kakashi’s contact information in her phone. At a glance, the photo could have been taken anywhere. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but Sakura knew better. Her fingers had created the haphazard way that Kakashi’s hair fell, cascading toward his right eye. His headband was gone, somewhere under his couch if she remembered the day correctly, and his mask rested lower on his face than usual. Kakashi’s cheeks held a healthy shade of crimson under the fabric, but his eyes were bright and open, staring at the camera, at Sakura, with a tenderness she didn’t deserve. 

Sakura closed the door on the pain that swelled in her chest and swiped away from Kakashi’s photograph. She dialed Ino’s number instead. 

-------------------------------------------

Two hours later, the party was in full swing with children stampeding through the house and adults mingling on the edges of the room. Most of Sakura’s friends made it to the event despite their busy schedules. Naruto and Hinata had come early enough to hang streamers, set out party favors, and help cook the finger foods that Sakura was serving. At least, Hinata and one of Naruto’s clones had. The real Naruto had taken Boruto and Sarada outside to play hide and seek, judging from the sounds that floated in through the open windows. 

Sai and Ino arrived not long after, balloons and cake in hand. Inojin and Sai had joined the games in the backyard, along with Naruto’s clone now that Sakura no longer needed help, while the women completed the last few things that needed to be finished before the party. Somehow, by the time the other guests arrived, the living room and kitchen were fully decorated, all the food was finished, and nobody had lost their tempers.

After putting paper plates down on the long table that she’d set up in the living room, Sakura let everyone know it was time to eat. In short order, the kids were happily picking at the finger foods she’d offered while their parents ate at the dining room table or stood around the room chatting. Despite the noise and chaos around her, the tension that Sakura had been carrying in her chest loosened further. The day hadn’t been the disaster that she’d feared. 

Sakura’s parents and colleagues were mingling with her shinobi friends, integrating the various aspects of her life the way that she’d done over the past few years. Sai and Ino were chatting with a doctor that she worked with at the hospital, while her father was discussing something with Temati that involved an excessive amount of hand gestures. The only thing missing from making the picture perfect day was Sasuke. The loss wasn’t as keen as it had once been, Sakura had made her life without him, but she felt the ache of Kakashi’s absence keenly. 

Raised voices at the kids table drew Sakura from her thoughts. The personalities of the younger generation were interesting to watch. She kept a sharp eye on Sarada and Boruto. The pair had been around each other so much that they acted more like brother and sister than friends. They were currently arguing over the last blue juice box on the table. Sakura intervened by adding another six, two of each color, to the center. Boruto and Sarada separated with a huff, each clutching their prizes in small hands. 

Sakura shook her head as she watched the display, recalling what Naruto and Sasuke had been like when they were genin. Though the children were years from that, she saw the same combative, competitive nature of their fathers. She hoped they would use it to hone their skills instead of growing bitter and angry at each other. Living in a time of peace meant that they would be older by the time they finished their shinobi training, assuming both of them went to the academy. The idea of anything else was unimaginable. 

Catastrophe averted, Sakura returned to the kitchen for the cake. The sugar high would undoubtedly make the kids hyper, but she planned to let them run it off in the backyard. She was making her way back to the table with a knife when the doorbell rang. 

“I’ll get it,” Naruto called over the chaos of children cheering the cake’s arrival. Sakura flashed the blonde a grateful smile as she cut the first piece and plopped it onto a plate. She had her hands full without trying to keep up with someone who was late to the party. Naruto’s laughter carried to the dining room, but his words were lost in the babble of voices as Sakura filled the disposable plates with sugary confection. 

Naruto stepped through the doorway a few seconds later, dragging a sheepish shadow behind him. Sakura’s heart missed several important beats when she raised her head. Kakashi offered an eye smile and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, clearly uncomfortable at her scrutiny. Naruto didn’t appear to notice as he pulled the man toward the center of the room. 

“Late as usual,” Naruto teased, clapping Kakashi on the back. He reached for the present in the man’s hands. “Here, I’ll take that.”

Kakashi relinquished the package to Naruto who carried it toward the table already crowded with gifts. As Sakura met Kakashi’s gaze, she tried to think of something to say, but the words wouldn’t connect to her thoughts. It had been a month since she’d seen Kakashi, four weeks of waiting for him to admit that leaving her had been a mistake. Except, he hadn’t. He’d walked out of Sakura’s life and never looked back. 

As her eyes swept over Kakashi, Sakura looked for any indication that the man noticed her loss as poignantly as she felt his. Had those lines always spidered away from the corners of his eyes? Had the bruise purple circles been so obvious beneath them? Did the tension in his shoulders suggest that he wanted things to be different, or did he wish that he wasn’t standing in the house where they’d—Sakura stopped that thought before it could color her cheeks. She tipped her head in a carefully deferential bow. “Hokage-sama.” 

Kakashi’s hidden smile slid a fraction as he returned the gesture. “Uchiha-san.” 

The formality between them made Sakura’s stomach ache, but she understood it. Inojin and Boruto made for a good distraction as they  argued over a second piece of cake while Sarada looked on with ever watchful dark eyes. The last thing that Sakura needed to do was worry about the complicated feelings that were swirling in the middle of her chest. 

“Excuse me,” Sakura murmured, slipping away from Kakashi. She ran a hand over Sarada’s hair and cut the cake into two smaller pieces for the boys before fists could settle the argument. She kept her attention on the kids for as long as she could. When Sakura couldn’t resist the gravitational pull that was Kakashi, she glanced up and found him gone. She caught a glimpse of his back on the opposite side of the room, deep in discussion with Hinata. 

Sakura allowed herself one longing glance in the man’s direction, then turned back to the kitchen and her responsibilities.  

-------------------------------------------------

As Kakashi watched over half a dozen kids careen around the living room on a sugar high, he wondered if he’d spent enough time at the party to escape without seeming rude. A splash of vibrant pink caught his eye as Sakura moved through the crowd. His chest ached as he watched her pull the strands away from her face. Several tendrils slipped free from the bun at the base of the woman’s neck to dance around her face. He concentrated on not thinking about the feel of them sliding over his fingers as he tipped her chin to the side to kiss her neck. 

Their relationship was over, and had been for almost a month, but the proximity of Sakura made it difficult to remember why. Kakashi had avoided her since they broke things off, saving them both from longing for an impossible future. He knew that he’d made the right decision to walk away, but it was difficult to keep himself from wishing for something different. Kakashi had sacrificed so many things for Konoha over the years; he hadn’t anticipated his happiness being one of them. 

Coming to Sarada’s party had been a private penance of sorts. Kakashi wanted to see Sakura, wanted to make sure that she was okay with the way that he’d left things. Of course, his feelings hadn’t changed during the intervening weeks, so it hurt to see her moving on with her life. Kakashi told himself that seeing Sakura at home would prevent him from doing something that he might regret. It wasn’t neutral ground after their previous encounter, but it was better than his apartment or her office, especially with so many people around. 

As Kakashi watched Sakura float around the party, diffusing tantrums and catering to each guest, he knew that he’d made a mistake. Every movement reminded him of the way that her legs had wrapped around him as they stumbled into the wall. Kakashi noticed the empty space where the portrait of Sakura and Sasuke had hung until her shoulder knocked it loose in a moment of passion. Nearly a month later, Kakashi remembered every brush of Sakura’s hand. 

Coughing, Kakashi took a drink and grimaced at the sticky sweetness of the liquid. He’d intentionally arrived late, but the desire to leave pulled him toward the door. He felt out of place among the parents and children, not to mention Sakura’s family. Shikamaru stood in one corner of the room, weighing Kakashi with a not so subtle stare. The man had noticed Kakashi’s distraction the past few weeks, though he hadn’t commented on it. Kakashi hadn’t volunteered any information, but it was impossible to tell how much the man had guessed. 

“Okay. It’s time for presents,” Sakura called out. Her voice was drowned out by excited squeals from the kids. Kakashi pressed against the wall as the tiny bodies rushed past him. The air left his lungs in a soft whoosh when Sakura’s fingers brushed his hip as she herded the children to the living room. The movement could have been the accidental bump of another adult avoiding the stampede, but that didn’t stop the electric jolt that shuddered through Kakashi. The subtle curl at the corner of Sakira’s lips told him it wasn’t a mistake.

Kakashi tightened his hand, then released the fist with a soft exhale as he followed the others. Sarada worked through her gifts at a prodigious rate, paper and ribbon flying through the air as she tore them open. A pile of toys and clothing grew on the table as Sakura reminded the girl to thank each person for their presents. A new dress with matching hair ribbon came from Ino and Sai, while Sarada received a make-believe doctor set from one of Sakura’s colleagues. She opened a stuffed fox from Naruto and Hinata, then reached for another present. 

“Mama! Look!” Sarada brandished small, foam kunai and shuriken that were modeled and weighted to match the real thing, though designed for a child’s hand. “They’re from daddy!” 

Sakura’s brow furrowed as she lifted the paper that the gift had been wrapped in, searching for the tag. Her frown deepened. “So they are,” she responded, watching her daughter heft the weapon in one hand. 

Sarada pulled her arm back and tossed the kunai across the room. A stack of paper cups clattered to the kitchen floor as Sakura plucked the remainder of the items from the girl’s lap. “These are only for outside,” she admonished with a huff. 

“Can we go play with them, please.” Sarada dragged out the last word in a pleading tone, hands clasped together in front of her. 

Boruto bounced on the balls of his feet, eyeing the gift with intent. “Yeah, can we? We’ll be careful.” 

Sakura sighed and looked down at the eager faces before relinquishing her hold. “Don’t throw them at each other, okay?” A chorus of agreement rang through the kids as they grabbed the weapons and darted for the door. Sakura’s voice trailed after them. “If anyone gets hurt, I’m taking them away.” 

Awkward silence hung over the room as the noise of the children disappeared. Naruto and Sai offered to go supervise, following almost on the younger generations heels, probably to do more damage than the kids did. Sakura began cleaning up the paper and presents, and Ino moved to help her. Most of the other adults returned to conversation, but Kakashi watched Ino rest a consoling hand on Sakura’s shoulder. “It was nice of him to make sure she had a present,” the blond observed, folding several pieces of clothing that Sarada had opened. “I’m sorry that he couldn’t be here in person.” 

Kakashi tried not to eavesdrop on the exchange, but he couldn’t help himself. Sakura’s shoulders rose in a shrug, quick and sharp as she inhaled. “He had a mission, and Sarada is still little. She probably doesn’t know that anything is strange about it.” 

“Yeah,” Ino agreed, collecting empty cups and half filled plates from the table. “I’m sure you’re right.” 

Not wanting to intrude on the conversation, Kakashi turned his attention back to the yard. Naruto had hung a target on one of the trees, and the kids were taking turns throwing weapons at the painted circle. Boruto and Sarada were squared up against each other, holding shuriken and presumably arguing over who got to take the next turn. As he watched, a silent presence appeared beside him. Kakashi didn’t turn. 

After a moment, Shikamaru cleared his throat. “I didn’t expect to see you here today, Hokage-sama.” 

“No,” Kakashi asked, keeping his voice light and amused. He rested one shoulder against the wall and tore his eyes away from the backyard. “Why not?” 

“This isn’t your usual scene.” Shikamaru turned to rest his back against the wall on the opposite side of the window. His dark eyes roved over the room while taking in Kakashi’s expression. “I figured you’d skip it, if you could.” 

Kakashi slid his hands into his pockets, continuing to feign disinterest. “I assume there’s a point to this?” 

Shikamaru chuckled, his lips pulling into a half smile. “You were never one for small talk.” 

Rather than acknowledging the comment, Kakashi dipped his head. Shikamaru’s gaze slid across the room to the kitchen. Sakura stood on the opposite side of the counter, wiping it with a rag. “It was nice of Sasuke to make sure his daughter had a present on her birthday,” Shikamaru ventured, voice pitched low. 

“It was, wasn’t it?” Kakashi allowed himself one second to take in the knowing expression on Shikamaru’s face before tearing his gaze away. “Sarada will remember that he cared.” 

Shikamaru sighed and raised his drink to his lips, taking a long pull as if the silence would work on Kakashi. It didn’t, so the younger man continued. “Look, I know it’s not my place to say this, but for the record, I think you’re a much better—” 

“Some things are better left unsaid,” Kakashi interrupted with an eye smile, convinced that the next words from Shikmaru’s mouth was something he didn’t want to hear, couldn’t stand to have acknowledged by someone else. He couldn’t go down that path a second time. 

"And sometimes, being stubborn hurts everyone—," Shikamaru offered. 

Kakashi raised a hand, cutting off the rest of the words. "You're right. It isn't your place." 

Shikamaru dipped his head with a sigh, mouth pulling into a frown. Kakashi knew that the man had more to say on this subject, but now wasn’t the time. In fact, he wasn’t sure that he would ever be ready to hear the rest of Shikamaru’s advice. Some thoughts were best kept hidden. 

Still, Shikamaru’s observation stirred a battered vestige of hope in the center of Kakashi’s chest, and he couldn’t put himself through that again. He squashed the feeling down as Temari cast her husband a pointed look. With a mumbled apology, the Nara departed toward the back yard with his wife to supervise the kids. 

Kakashi glanced at the rapidly approaching dusk and decided that he’d stayed far longer than he should have. It was more than enough to put in an appearance and prove to himself that he could be around Sakura without doing something that he would regret. Pushing away from the wall, he carried his mostly full drink back to the kitchen. 

As Kakashi approached the sink to dump the offending blue liquid into the basin, something brushed across his back. Electricity jolted through his body again at the familiar form beside him. The armor that Kakashi had consciously worn to the party only partially absorbed the shock of Sakura’s fingers on him. “You didn’t like your drink,” the woman asked, voice deceptively light. 

Hand hovering over the sink, Kakashi turned and swept his eyes across the room before settling on Sakura’s face. “I’m pretty sure it’s ninety-five percent sugar,” he countered, reaching for the lazy, unaffected drawl he’d used so often in the past to distance himself from situations that he didn’t want to be in. 

Sakura smiled, and some of the exhaustion disappeared from her eyes. Kakashi’s heart did an uncomfortable throb against his ribs before settling into a normal pattern, albeit faster than he liked. She moved closer, dropping her voice to a playful lilt that made the room spin. "Mixed with a bit of vodka, these are the best drinks you've ever had." 

For several seconds, Kakashi didn't speak. The words were so far from what he’d expected that it took his mind time to catch up with them. When it did, he laughed. "I always thought you were the responsible one. Don’t ruin my pristine image of you."

"You never thought that,” Sakura laughed, placing her hand over Kakashi’s to keep him from pouring out the drink. 

The plastic cup bobbled in Kakashi’s grip when Sakura touched him. His breath caught as she looked up at him through a curtain of pink hair. Kakashi remembered tucking those same strands behind her ears dozens of times; he remembered his lips trailing down the ivory column of her neck. His body twitched with the memory, and heat rushed into his cheeks. Instead of pulling away, he managed a weak laugh. “Are you suggesting I spike the drinks at your daughter’s party?”

“I’m suggesting you stay after, and I’ll spike them.” Sakura’s voice dropped to a whisper that made Kakashi’s face warm. He couldn’t think beyond the immediate need to escape before he did something that he’d regret. Everything inside of him screamed that this was a bad idea, the thing he’d wanted to avoid all along. 

Sakura glanced over her shoulder at the room, checking for unwanted stares before turning back. “Please?” 

It had always been a struggle to deny Sakura, that was what had got Kakashi into this mess in the first place. He blew out a breath and set his drink beside the sink. He watched the back doors open, spilling kids and parents back into the living room. No one so much as looked in their direction, attending to their own families. “I can’t do that,” Kakashi breathed.  

“We’re still friends, right?” Sakura’s voice reached a pained quality that made Kakashi sick to his stomach. “There’s nothing wrong with two friends hanging out together. It’s been a long day, and I could use some adult company.” 

Kakashi jutted his chin toward the living room where at least a dozen men and women stood. “You have a lot of choices for that.” 

“But, you’re the one I want.” Sakura reached past Kakashi for the damp rag that she’d been using to wipe the counter as she spoke, disguising her words in the movement. 

Kakashi didn’t let the choice of phrasing affect him too deeply. Sakura meant that she wanted him to stay and talk, nothing else. He would have known if she’d ended things with Sasuke, and she knew that he couldn’t be with her unless that happened. There was nothing wrong with them spending time together, but that could change in a heartbeat. How well he knew that. 

Before Kakashi could come up with a coherent answer, Sakura turned away and walked back toward the living room. Sarada stood amongst her peers, dirt smudging one cheek and cake evident at the corners of her mouth. Sakura set about wiping the girl’s face and hands with an abundance of complaining and whining from her daughter. He watched the pair without moving from the kitchen. It felt like time stopped, balancing on the precipice of his decision. 

The arrival of dusk acted like an unspoken signal for the end of the party. Parents began gathering up their children and saying their goodbyes. Kakashi slid into the background of the noise, marveling at the ease with which Sakura moved through the different circles of her life, making everyone feel welcome. Clusters of three and four people left the party until only Naruto’s family and Kakashi remained. Sarada and Boruto were arguing over something on the television while Hinata and Naruto gathered up the boy’s belongings, which somehow had been scattered all across the room. 

“Can we help you with anything before we go,” Hinata asked, voice soft and gentle as always. Kakashi felt a smile tug at his lips, thankful that Naruto had found someone that suited him so well. The realization soured when he looked back at Sakura. Did she wish that she had the same? Did she notice the difference? 

As Kakashi helped the three take down decorations and clean up the clutter after the party, he wondered what the pinkette thought of them. Not of Naruto and Hinata as a couple, because he already knew that she approved of the pairing a million times over. No, Kakashi wondered if she watched the way they worked as a team to wrangle their son, to be a family, even when Naruto was taking missions left and right in preparation to become Hokage. The blonde never shunned his family the way Sasuke did. He chose his missions with care and stayed with them whenever possible. Sasuke prefered missions outside of Konoha, jumping at every opportunity to leave the village— 

“Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto’s voice broke through Kakashi’s thoughts and he realized that the man had addressed him at least once already without answer. He tipped his head to the side and Naruto flashed a grin, an easy mixture of Kushina and Minato that made Kakashi’s heart ache. “I was just wondering if you wanted to walk home with us.” 

Boruto stared up at Kakashi with the curious blue eyes and faintly whiskered cheeks of his father, studying Kakashi with a keenness that Naruto never had. Kakashi shook his head. “Thank you, but I promised Sakura that I’d help her with a couple of things after the party.” 

“I can do that.” Naruto offered with a shrug. “You’ve been working all day.” 

Hinata laid a hand on Naruto, fingers curling around the muscle in his forearm. “You should let him keep his promises,” she murmured. Kakashi had the dizzying realization that Hinata knew or suspected the reason that he was staying later than everyone else. The woman bowed her head toward him. “It was a pleasure to see you, Hokage-sama.” 

The well trained part of Kakashi’s mind responded with proper pleasantries, but Hinata’s defense left him stunned. Shikamaru and Hinata both suspected about his relationship with Sakura. How many others had? 

Kakashi had always taken for granted that he and Sakura had been careful. He hadn’t shown any favoritism toward her since things changed between them. At least, he didn’t think he had. Could the two conversations have been coincidental? Shikamaru’s words were too pointed to be mistaken, but surely no one else. 

Kakashi navigated the rest of his salutations automatically while his mind reeled from the knowledge that he might not be as clever as he thought. Hinata finally managed to usher Naruto and Boruto toward the door. As it closed behind them, Kakashi realized he was well and truly alone with Sakura and Sarada, for better or worse. 

The girl sat on the floor in the living room, sorting through the pile of toys and gifts that she’d received. “Alright, time to get all of this stuff up to your room and put it away.” Sakura ruffled Sarada’s dark hair. “It’s almost bedtime.” 

Sarada started to make a whining noise, but a sharp glance from Sakura silenced it. “I only have two hands,” the girl tried instead, holding the stuffed fox in one and a foam kunai in the other. 

“I can help.” Kakashi pushed himself forward to gather toys and clothes from the floor. “I only have two hands too, but they’re quite a bit bigger than yours.” 

“Lemme see,” Sarada demanded, tossing her treasures aside like garbage. Both of her small hands grabbed one of Kakashi’s, then she frowned and poked at the center of his palm. “Take this off.” 

Sakura appeared in the doorway, and made a scolding sound under her breath. “Those are his gloves, Sarada-chan. You can’t just demand—” 

Waving one hand to silence the chastisement, Kakashi removed the fingerless gloves that he wore almost constantly. Sarada frowned at the scraps of fabric for a long moment, then gripped Kakashi’s hand between hers. She pressed her small palm against his then giggled. “It’s warm,” she observed. Then, to Kakashi’s horror, she pulled his hand close and rested her cheek against it instead. 

Laughing nervously, Kakashi pulled away. “Yeah, the gloves keep them warm.”

“Why do you wear them?” Sarada concentrated on each word, clearly trying to sort something out in her head before she spoke. 

Sakura swooped in, resting her fingers on Sarada’s head and gently turning her. “Come on, Kakashi didn’t come to give you an explanation for everything. I’ll race you to your room.” 

Sarada’s squeal of delight filled the room as she sped toward the stairs with Sakura just behind her. Kakashi sighed and watched the pair go, wondering what he’d gotten himself into, again. 

#Dimi Writes #My Writing #I'll be the Moon Sequel #Kakashi/Sakura #KakaSaku #TW: Cheating #TW: Complicated relationships #This story is an unabashed disaster and I apologize for nothing

[holy-megs]

. ➵ ⁺ tokyo revengers guys + their favourite piercing preferences on their s/o

. ➵ ⁺ characters: ken ryuguji, kazutora hanemiya, baji keisuke, hakkai shiba, hanma shuji

. ➵ ⁺ cw + tw: fem!reader, characters are aged up, suggestive content, fluffy moments, mentions of piercings, hanma’s + draken’s parts may be a lil too spicy so watch out ¡!

KEN RYUGUJI [DRAKEN] — belly button piercing

Draken is a fan of piercings since he also has one on his left ear, so he will definitely be in awe once he notices that you got one for yourself at your belly button. He will be so proud since he knows that you were scared of doing it yet stunned at the sight. Whenever he sees you wearing a bikini or a crop top that makes the piercing visible, he will get so turned on that he will just want to fuck you at the nearest wall without caring if anyone cathes you both. "Fuck! do you know how hot that piercing makes you look?" Draken will groan against your neck. He may sometimes get jealous and act all overprotective, but he will grab you by the waist and hold you tightly if he ever suspects one of the gang members or even a stranger staring hungrily at you. "Babe, you’re hurting my piercing like that." You will get mad at him since his tough fingers and hands are so veiny and wide that they cover your entire belly and hurt your piercing.

KAZUTORA HANEMIYA — helix, daith, tragus

Kazutora is all about aesthetics. That’s why he adores your ear piercings, mainly the ones that stand out the most and are considered more eccentric and unusual by others. Not to himself, though. Kazu is a man who likes when you do things out of the ordinary and outside your comfort zone. That’s why he likes teasing you about it, and whenever you two make out, he always gets a strand of your hair and gently places it behind your ears just so he can peer at your ear piercings. “You’re so pretty like this you know?” His words and eyes will reflect a sense of devotion and compassion. He is awestruck about how much he adores your stunning beauty, including your piercings. Kazu is your number one supporter and fan. Let me tell you, when the two of you get matching piercings, he melts right on the spot. He will be acting like a child, and when you catch him blushing too, the teasing begins. “Awww my baby is a hot mess.” You casually make fun of him while Kazutora tries to cover his face.

BAJI KEISUKE — nose piercing [nostril] + nose hoop + nose bone stud

Baji is no exception to the other two boys since he also loves observing your every move and, of course, more than anything, your nose piercing too. Baji is a guy who likes piercings in general, and he is very tolerant of what you do to your body. He doesn’t like you having a bunch of piercings on you and especially your body, be it on your belly or nipples. He just doesn’t like it. However he is a sucker for nose piercings. Once he notices that you've got a nose piercing and you remove any other unnecessary piercings he advised you about, his smirk will be so evident that you will be able to see his broad teeth. “Suits you well babe.” His eyes will gaze at you softly. Now let me tell you, Baji is a guy who loves you despite what you do to your body and face. This is your life, and he is not some kind of controlling freak telling you what to do. However, since you asked for his opinion, he must be honest. “Suke, your nose—” You will always say this to him in cute annoyance. Baji typically enjoys pressing your noses together and giving you eskimo kisses just so he can admire how cool your piercing is.

HAKKAI SHIBA — lobe, upper lobe

Hakkai, meanwhile, encourages you to have an appearance that is less flashy. He is the type of guy who prefers one exceptional earring on your lobe or upper lobe over many of them, just as he does. Hakkai might be unable to express these desired thoughts to you because, as we all know, he can be awkward and shy when it comes to interacting with women. However, you shouldn't worry because, as you two grow closer, he will learn to be more confident and tell you that you are beautiful even without any piercings. But don't get him wrong. He won't mind if you want more piercings. The poor guy is just too afraid and embarrassed to let you know that he wants to get matching earrings with you.“Shiba-kun, you seem pale, what’s wrong?” You'll start to worry about your boyfriend's attitude out of concern. Hakkai doesn't want you to worry about him, so he will act as if everything is fine while secretly fantasising about how pretty you'll look wearing that earring of his. “y/n, how a-about I lend you my earring instead?” After that, Hakkai's flushed face won't be able to feel justice.

HANMA SHUJI — nipple piercings

As we all know, Hanma changes women faster than he can light up another cigarette. He is very keen on trying new things and experimenting, so it is no wonder he likes nipple piercings. He is a very nasty man who prefers to see your nipples filled with an accessory instead of nothing at all, especially when you have small boobies. Once you show Hanma that you have pierced your titties, he will be so eager to please you. Hanma goes crazy at the sight of his sin and punishment tattooed hands worshipping and touching your boobies like that. He will cup and suck your nipples really hard that you’ll have the best nipple orgasm ever. “Oh? Pretty girl’s getting shy all of a sudden?” His smirk will carelessly widen, and his ego will increase as his sayings make you blush even more. Since you pierced your nipples, Hanma hasn't let you rest and wants to touch your titties every second just to admire your piercings. “You’re noisy today.” You pout at your fuck buddy's teasing behavior while he continues annoying you.

© holy-megs, do not copy or translate my work. reblogs are appreciated.

#dimi writes! ✎ #lovely hours ♡ #tokyo rev headcanons #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #draken x reader #draken x y/n #tokyo revengers kazutora #kazutora x reader #kazutora x you #baji x y/n #baji keisuke x reader #tokyo revengers hakkai #hakkai x you #hakkai shiba x reader #shuji hanma x reader #hanma x y/n #tokrev hanma #hanma shuuji x you #dimi writes!headcanons

[blaiddydbrokeit]

7, 16, 35 for the ask game!

7: What color dominates your closet?

My closet is a pretty even mix of blue, black and white. Blue for both pants and shirts, but black is mostly pants and white is mostly shirts. Blue also includes some iconic pieces like my waistcoat.

16: Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?

Not a hoodie, but a cardigan, since I rarely wear hoodies these days. It's my War Phase Dimitri cardigan and I've had it for... hm... 8 months? It's special because it's my comfort cardigan that I sometimes put on when I need to let myself sulk in a dark corner staring at dust. But also because I wear it near daily and (lowers voice) didn't wash it for 6 months because I was angsting too hard to willingly separate from it. My Blue Lions sweater is a close second though.

35: Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.

I think we all know what my favorite one is.

This is Felinyan. It's Felix but as a pouty cat, and he's very smoochable. It's also very special to me because he was a gift from my beloved @officialfelixfraldarius (yes, dmlx real 2023) and is the perfect size for cuddling in bed with.

Bonus points for this photo with my boar pillow roll.

#thank you for the ask onyx! i hope you find the answers amusing #they certainly amused me while I was writing #ask #dimi breaks the silence

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

that post got so long my computer was starting to lag

#DCB Comments #but I powered through bc I don't know if that anon is just like... legit misguided in realizing that stuff abt Claude? #or if it's like... an Edelgard fan who just wants Claude to be on her side and doesn't care if it makes sense #funny enough it's always those kind of people who WANT him siding with her who say shit like #''he's his own self and doing what he wants!'' but they don't say that abt him when he does exactly that #but sides with anyone but Edelgard. if it made sense that he sided with her I'd deal with that #but it doesn't make sense and people are trying to explain that and other people refuse to see our points #you can't say we're mad that Claude didn't side with Dimitri then go and say we're just mad that #he's not Dimitri's side piece when that's explicitly what he turned into with Hopes :/ #in Houses he at least had a personality and character. he made decisions around logic #in Hopes he just makes decisions to fit the narrative of Edelgard even when he admits it's not smart to do #the point is that Claude's story is not HIS story in Hopes. he's just there to prop someone else up #he makes decisions to follow the narrative. the narrative does not follow him/his story as it should #I've said it before but AG follows Dimitri - not Dimitri following AG #but Claude didn't get that for his route. he's just running around at Edelgard's whims #he didn't just run around at Dimitri's whims in any route. that's not something he would do #so why should he do it now for her instead? that on top of... well... that entire post is why we don't like the #writing for GW Claude/SB Claude. even AG tried to shoehorn in that he's not trustworthy #by having literally everyone doubt Claude's intentions except Dimitri. poor Dimi had his friends like #bombarding him in his decision to ally with Claude which is also a huge poor Claude #bc he did literally nothing in AG to be distrusted but we got that conv anyway

[dimiesti]

i should probably post Something on here so i don’t look like a bot. hi! i’m dimi, haven’t used tumblr since like. 2016 i think. whenever the great exodus was. it was a dark time. my old acc was both cringe and i forgor the email, so fresh start it is.  havent decided if i want to be an art only blog or also reblog memes yet, or. what. im a hazed peepaw from twitter where reblogging things on art blog = bad. so im just gonna vibe i guess. expect a lot of estinien/ffxiv reblogs 🤙

#i certainly remember writing my life story in the tags at least #also gotta get a theme again and idr how that shit works #dimi rambles