#FUNNIEST FUCKING POST ON THIS PLANET

[bramblebee]

sleepover games

#in stars and time #isat #isat spoilers #long post #my art #siffrin isat #isabeau isat #mirabelle isat #bonnie isat #odile and loop relegated to the peanut gallery offscreen #do i tag this as ship content -- i -- #? #anyway. #it was fun to plan out a little meme comic again #sifloop is the funniest shit on the fucking planet. yeah yeah self love whatever but mostly i want them to . eat each other.

[rhinocio]

who the heck learned you

--

何が起こっている?! (nani ga okotte iru) - What is happening?! / What's going on?!

それはスコルピオントレッドミル!! (sore wa sokorupion toreddomiru) - It's the Scorpion Treadmill!!

この二人に乗せてのトレッドミルです. (kono futari ni nosete no toreddomiru desu) - It's the treadmill for these two (people). / Put these two (people) on the treadmill. "The boys' accents suggest that they probably learned English first and speak it best, and Splints has been pretty clear that he doesn't really want anything to do with his roots as a Hamato, so I don't imagine he spoke to them in Japanese very much as a way of distancing them from all that. But the reality shows seem to always be on--I wonder how much of the language the boys picked up just because of the background ambience? Like, maybe they can understand Japanese better than they can speak it, and their lexicon is just… the weirdest friggin' shit, because of all that reality TV. They don't know how to ask "where's the bathroom?" they know how to say "I can't believe that man on the treadmill got eaten to death by scorpions""

#itoko apocalypse au #thank you to my wife for being the funniest fucking woman on the planet #every time I go to post these I realize errors I've made in the japanese whoops #2012's serious actual training vs rise's fuck it we ball methods FIGHT #ROTTMNT #TMNT #leonardo #donatello #michelangelo #raphael #trans leo #TMNT 2012 #TMNT crossover #turtle cousins au #rhinociart #save ROTTMNT #unpause ROTTMNT #peepaw multiverse #as per always please lemme know where the japanese can be improved; I'm very new to this

[martyrbat]

my turn to be scary — dcu halloween special (2009)

(ID in alt!)

#‘The Daily Planet's history is rife with stories of how it's haunted by past editors and writers who worked themselves to death’ #WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE !!!! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS !!!!! #the daily planet BETTER have a fucking union.... #also yeah haha cute ‘bruce gets to be scary all year but halloween is my turn’ like okay bruclois moment whatever #BUT the real takeaway of this is daily planets working conditions..... #anyways. this is cute besides that. i love them being the funniest couple alive and clark using his powers just to fuck with people #c: dcu halloween special (2009) #crypt's panels #posts from the crypt #transcrypts #clark kent #lois lane #clois #(id in alt!)

[snixx]

my sister's boyfriend is the music president of the school and every time she starts telling me about their silly little music club drama I get so many glee club flashbacks. I've said it before and I'll say it again bro is literally living in high school musical jesus

#THEY'RE ALL SO DRAMATIC AND EGOISTIC LMFAOOO #and they're all always fighting over getting a solo it's so funny #unfortunately my sister has zero interest in their bullshit and knows everything she does about them against her will #so she told me the story until the climax and i was like. wait. THEN WHAT HAPPENED #and she was like dude idfc im so tired of all of them they keep acting like five year olds #._. #and she's house captain so she has to approve all the performers from her house or smth #but it's so fucking funny her boyfriend is the funniest mf on the planet istg they're sooooooo benvi coded #this was what my musicians (derogatory) post was about yesterday btw. #NOT about my ex best friend the most Evil musician in the world for once crazy i know #although i did keep getting war flashbacks #girlblogging.pdf

[ectofool]

old wip

#illbleed #only posting this because i feel like theres only 6 illbleed fans on the planet and out of those 6 people 1 fan of jorg so here’s a wip #the file didnt save and i lost it. sad. #body horror #btw jorg is the fucking funniest character in anything. i wish more people understood this. #this is from september last year i can draw better now

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I don’t know if I’m terminally online (I haven’t gotten out much all winter tbh) or if I just get stressed about online “debates”, but whoever said that “phones never appear in our dreams” is wrong. I woke up twice thinking someone replied to a comment I made yesterday with something weird, only to realize that I had not actually grabbed my phone off my nightstand, checked it, and then fallen asleep again

#emma posts #the funniest part is that I don’t even have YouTube notifications on. dream me just was cool with people starting shit every day #it hasn’t only been YouTube. but last night it was #and you wake up because the reply is so infuriatingly stupid that you can’t sleep I guess #‘you said that species went extinct relatively recently but they went extinct 10000 years ago’ you fucking idiot! do you know how long life #has existed on this planet? end of ice age megafauna extinctions were recent! so recent that some plant species have made combacks after a #similar enough animal became introduced into the ecosystem again #or even other animal species #do you know how amazing that is and how recently the neich had been abandoned? DO YOU?! #life has been on this planet for. quite possibly. 1billion years if the oldest evidence is accurate #that is 1/4th of earths history! possibly less. still unfathomably long #now to the ice age extinctions is practically NOTHING #and I was so aghast at the concept that the commenter would reply with that. that I woke myself up #the next time I woke up it was because my brothers cat got sick on the floor #once you’ve had cats living with you for a daceade the sound WILL wake you up #other people online: you never use your phone in your dreams #me. who has been on this hell site and another before it for over a decade: awakens from a nightmare where I can’t escape terrible online #debates or harassment because for some reason I can’t look away from my phone or block people. #I wish i didn’t have dreams with my phone in them #wakes up from a nightmare where I’m being cyber bullied for something stupid af #wishes i could sleep without my phone showing up in my dreams #this isn’t a tumblr thing exclusively. this has to do with rsd and people telling kid me to kms the first time I got a deviantart account #‘omfg. you’re so stupid’ wakes up

[burymeinblack2022]

Karma's a relaxing thought

... Aren't you envious that for you it's not?

#Karma is a cat purring in my lap cause it loves me !! :3 #FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT ‼️‼️😩💅 #Asuka has been avenged <3 <3 AND A FELIZ JUEVES TO ALL :3 #Hehehehehe mischief and pettiness on planet earth nature is healing #Goofin hours at the function #Like I voted for the creatures but this is the funniest outcome possible #Wow anna said something #Anna's shitposts #You've seen the og post... Now I bring you... The sequel #Welcome to the circus

[manime-morninghair]

The following just occured:

I walk out on the patio at the end of my shift as I have done many times before. Dressed in all black I walk out, and this night I treat myself to a Jay. I'm pacing myself I really dont want to do it too often. So I stand and relax and exhale. I let myself fully listen. To my youtuber and let go of my surroundings.

Eventually I snap to as I turn suddenly and hear something scutter, clearly in response. I look down to see: a neighbor's cat? No I've never seen a cat that looks like this, but I know his fuckin name: Pepe Le "fucking" Pew.

A young buck skunk SMelled my WEED and approached the smell. He got so close because I was dressed head to toe in black like a backed "fucking, also" shinobi.

L

M

A

O

#cannon #drug use #house of leaves #me #fucking a third time #boom comedy comes in threes bitch and also call back. this is it folks. the funniest post on the fuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkiiiiinnnggg planet?! #and so the other joke here is that this ends as a punctuation where the expected boundries of the expected of the post. char limit

[phantomrose96]

I’ve not finished the game yet but making Louie the absolutely OP antagonist of the post-game was the funniest thing they could have done, I’ve decided.

First off we’re not even sure why he’s here. Presumably he was sent to rescue Olimar by their boss and then crash-landed himself. And instead of being turned into a helpless castaway like literally everyone else including people whose very profession is rescue crew, this galactic truck driver carved out his own survival through sheer unrestrained violence and voracious predation of literally all the wildlife 100s of times his size and eager to kill him.

And also presumably he realized he liked this way way better and that if he continued to play dead he’d never have to go back to work and can live out his days causing mass extinctions in the name of eating everything that dares to be organic. This decision came with saying “fuck Olimar, I guess.”

Did Louie even HAVE pikmin before running into Moss in the post-game? Was he just ripping and tearing things apart with his ant-sized appendages? Killing bulblaxes with teeth and finger nails? He must have run into Dandori Olimar along the way. Did he just look at the undead monstrosity of his former coworker he was sent here to save and go “bro seems fine. Peace.” Theyre truck drivers your honor.

And then in the post-game Olimar is like “hey Louie it’s me! I’m alive!” and Louie fucking high tails it out of there. WITH A HOSTAGE. Because ???????

Is he afraid if Olimar gets home he’s gonna tell their boss on him and Louie’s gonna be dragged back to Hocotate? I don’t think that’s what’s happening because it requires too much foresight and planning from Louie. This man does not think. This man only knows bastardry and violence. I think he ignores Olimar over the intercom because even he doesn’t know what’s happening. This leads me to believe he takes hostages just because. And steals from them just because. He’s discovered a planet where being an absolute bastard is its own reward, and in the place where dozens of others greater than him have crashed and fallen weak and fallen stranded and even died, Louie thrives. Louie becomes your biggest nightmare.

This man eats bugs.

#pikmin #pikmin 4 #pikmin 4 spoilers #chrissy plays pikmin 4 #chrissy talks pikmin

[604to647]

Safest with You (Ch. 11 - The Poker Game)

5.9K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: Din hosts a poker game and invites you and your friends; the meeting of friends prompts a discussion about the status of your relationship.

Warnings: 18+ content (MDNI please), new-ish established relationship, dirty talk and teasing, mentions of infidelity (not Din), reader gets in her own head a bit (some anxiety), pet names as usual (Pretty bird, pretty girl, baby, sweetheart, etc.), reader is described as shorter than Din and Din can pick her up.

A/N: Please kindly suspend your disbelief and allow me to write Poe Dameron as Boba Fett’s son 😂😂😂 Like, when I thought of a roguish, charming, sh*t disturber son of a mob boss, Oscar Isaac’s delicious face just came to mind 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm going to level with you, I wasn't a big fan of Poe in the Sequel trilogy - too much fly boy/fuck boi energy for me, and that's kind of how I'm writing him here. I'm sorry, Poe-lovers, please don't come after me! (For the record, I *am* a big fan of OI!)

I ran a poll on WIP Wednesday asking asking if there was a preference to separate the smut at the end this chapter into its own post. I told myself that if even one person answered that they wanted it separate, then I would do that; it's easy enough to click on the link at the end of the chapter to take you to the smut if you so choose! I hope no one is disappointed that the storyline is moving in the direction where smut will be a regular addition to the chapters - but if that's not your bag, I totally understand! I'm sorry if you need to go and am so thankful that you've read along to this point 😘😘😘

Series Masterlist

In the following weeks, you and Din fall into a comfortable rhythm and easily slot each other into your busy lives.

Your nightly dog walks resume and on most week nights Din tries to stay at your apartment, with you working late more often than not and it being closer to your office.  He’s becoming a familiar face to your work colleagues, bringing you (and often them as well) dinner as an easy and welcomed excuse to see you.  Some days he’ll just join you for a lunch trip to your favourite sandwich shop and the two of you will have a quick picnic outside your office building if the weather is warm enough.  Weekends are for long, lazy dates that span the entire day, rolling into romantic dinners that have you and Din eating your way across the city.  It’s so easy being with Din; the conversation never stops, the sex is brain meltingly good, and he never ceases to make you feel adored.  If anyone were to ask, you were the smartest, funniest, most beautiful woman on this planet and Din would readily unretire his boxing gloves if anyone dared to disagree.  Every moment with Din makes you giddy; not only is this bear of a man actually a secret softie, he’s also goofy and funny, and lucky for you, his new favourite pastime is to make you laugh.  

One night over dinner, you mention in passing that you love the arm waving tube men outside of used car dealerships (actually, you don’t know what they’re called, so you did a sort of arm flail with both your arms above your head and Din almost died laughing).  The following Saturday, you arrive at the gym in the afternoon to find that Din has rented two tube men and they’re bending, blowing this way and that, arms flying and rippling from the force of the air being blown from the fan units in their base.  You join a large group of onlookers in front of the gym, mostly children, laughing and watching with amusement as the silly attention-grabbing gimmick brings you pure unadulterated joy for a good 10 minutes.  After going in, you find Din folding some towels next to the boxing ring and you launch yourself at him directly, too full of laughter and delight to care who sees.  “Thank you thank you thank you thank you,” you murmur against his lips, unable to stop smiling.  Din picks you up so you can wrap your legs around him, not caring who sees either; he wants everyone at the gym to know whose girl you are.  Feeling your big smile against his mouth before seeing it, he grins, “You’re welcome, pretty bird.” 

“Are they a permanent feature?”

“Unfortunately, no.  Just for the weekend, then I have to give them back to the used car lot down the street, Watto’s.  Plus, people keep coming in asking if we’re having a special on memberships today,” he says with a groan.

Giggling, you slide down Din’s body and give him a long, deep kiss, one that will guarantee a fair bit of ribbing from the guys, before heading up to Din’s apartment via the gym’s second floor entrance.  Most of these indulgent weekends start at Din’s so he can stay close to work – you take to baking in Din’s apartment and bringing down treats for the patrons, which are generally very well received.  When you brought down ginger molasses cookies, Greef had jokingly scolded you saying his boxers shouldn’t have too many sweet treats as part of their training, before scarfing down two cookies, then swatting Jimmy’s hand away from the plate and pocketing three more.  You’re sure your offering the following weekend of high fibre raisin bran muffins were better for training regimens, but the enthusiasm for them seemed lower. 

Din’s place, the apartment and the gym as an extension, starts to feel more and more comfortable; a small collection of your things (books, toiletries) have migrated to his apartment, and you love that the familiar faces at Mando’s are starting to fold into your life as well.

The only small twinge of regret you have is that with all the time you're spending with Din, especially the time spent at his place, you’re not spending as much time with Al.  He’s more than welcomed at Din’s but you hadn’t wanted to uproot him too much, or impose too much on Din too quickly, so on the weekends Bea’s been coming by to walk Al and take care of him.  You miss your special guy, your long weekend walks and dog park events; as you cut the butter into your shortbread cookie dough in Din’s kitchen, you decide that you have to make more of an effort to make sure Al isn’t left out.

“Can you do me a favour?”

“Anything, pretty bird.”

“Do you think you might be able to hang out with Al tomorrow night?  I feel like he’s feeling a little neglected, and I don’t want to leave him alone.  I’d take him to Rory’s but her building has a weird no pets rule,” you pout a little as you scratch Al’s head with one hand while holding the phone to your ear with your other.

Without hesitation, Din agrees, “Sure, baby.  I’d love to have him over during poker night.  Guarantee he won’t feel lonely.”

“I’ll make some food for your poker night as a thank you!  And I’ll bring a dog bed too.  God knows I have a few to spare,” you chuckle as you scan your apartment to pick a bed to bring.

“No need, pretty bird.  I bought Al a dog bed for here already.”

“Of course you did,” you smile to yourself.  Thoughtful, thoughtful man.

And that’s how you find yourself with two big bags of food, an overnight bag each for yourself and a dog, and said dog in tow, looking up at the long flight of stairs leading up to Din’s apartment.  Luckily, you don’t have to wait very long before his thundering steps are heard and he comes to help you carry everything.  Once on the top landing, Din gingerly places everything on the ground before pulling you in close for the greeting you deserve.

“So… I’ve been thinking…” Din starts, almost shy, “Do you think your friends might like to come over and hang out here?  It won’t be a ‘girls’ night’ but there’s food and drinks and it might be fun for our friends to meet? …I mean, if you think it’s a good idea?”

Grinning at Din’s suggestion, you think outloud, “I mean, it’s not a bad idea… I’ll check with Rory and Bea, but what brought this on?”

Din answers by burying his face into your neck and nibbling on your earlobe, “Just like being with you, pretty bird.”

You relent easily, “Ok, but I’m warning you right now about playing with Rory, she’s going to take you all to the cleaner’s.”

“Good.  It’s been boring being the only one who wins money,” laughs Paz, who has suddenly appeared.  Giving Din a pointed look, “Hey, you know, the gentlemanly thing is to help the lady carry her bags inside,” before giving you a big bear side hug and greeting you with his new nickname for you (“Hey, Lil’ Lady.”) He picks up the food bags and heads in, passing Bo who’s on her way onto the landing to say hi.  For one reason or another, you haven’t seen her since Jimmy’s fight night; after a big hug, she looks at you with seriousness, “Thank god you’re back.  This one,” she jabs a thumb at Din, “was an unbearable grump while you were apart.  Please never leave us again.” She takes Al’s leash from you, and leads him inside the apartment; a second later you hear a raucous cheer of “Alfredo!!” followed by Al’s happy barks.

After setting out the food you brought (caprese sandwiches, sugar dusted mascarpone-blueberry turnovers, bruschetta) and putting what needs to be warmed in the oven (garlic knots, salmon-onion dip, turkey meatball pops), you text the girls and receive an enthusiastic response to the suggested change of plans.

Sitting on Din’s lap to give him the good news, you pass around the sandwiches to the delight of the players already seated at the big card table Din set out for the occasion.  You’re excited that the Mandos that are here tonight will get to meet some of your friends and you tell them so.

“Looking forward to it!  And… you get to meet Poe tonight,” says Koska, with an almost apologetic look.

“Who’s Poe?” you ask, curiously looking around at the facial expressions of the Mandos, ranging from eye rolling to what can only be described as shit eating grins.

Din explains, “He’s Boba’s son.”

“And you guys… like him?”

“We have to,” quips Paz, which is met with laughter from the group, “but we also do for real.  He’s just… a lot.”

Mayfeld chimes in, “He’s all about having good time; always trying to up the ante cause he’s got ‘My dad’s a big deal’ energy and always has.  Used to start shit for fun when we were in school cause he knew no one could do anything to him.”

“I remember it more like he would start trouble with that smart mouth of his, then one of us would have to finish it.”  Paz looks at you, “Used to be me and Din standing between him and a bloody nose, every damn time.”

Din appears to be a bit more forgiving of the past, “He’s calmed down a bit now… still has the smart mouth and a lot of energy, but blows off steam in more constructive ways… like poker instead of all night partying.  Which is like the rest of us, really…”

Jimmy reaches past you to grab a sandwich, “Yeah, the rest of you old timers…”

“What was that?”, Bo cocks an eye brow at the young boxer, who smartly pretends to be incredibly invested in selecting the right sandwich.

Wrapping his arms a little more tightly around your waist, Din draws soothing circles on your thigh with his fingers, “Don’t let Paz give you the wrong impression of Poe; he’s just bitter because he was always the one who ended up getting in trouble when someone wanted to kick Poe’s ass.”

Paz huffs, “Yeah, getting in trouble for defending him when he probably should have taken a pounding; kissing someone else’s girlfriend half the time.”

“Omigod” you giggle, as Paz puts Jimmy in a loose headlock; revenge for the “old timers” comment.

Woves pipes up, “Oh yeah, he’s still a shameless flirt.  Warn your friends.”

“Warn her friends?! Warn herself!” exclaims Koska.

“He’s mainly all talk though.  Lisa would slit him from balls to throat if she ever caught him cheating,” Woves explains, seemingly to you.

“Caught him again, you mean,” Koska grimaces.

“Oh shoot.  I forgot about that girl on the yacht.”

“I wasn’t even thinking about Fennec’s birthday party, but yeah she was pissed.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“Donut shop,” chime in Bo, Mayfeld, Din and Paz in unison.

“Lisa is his girlfriend?” you ask, unsure.

“His wife.  And the mother of his two beautiful kids.  They’ve been together since high school.  On and off, if you haven’t guessed already,” Bo looks embarrassed, even though she has no reason to.

Din hooks his chin over your shoulder and says gently, “That was in the past, though.  They’ve worked through it and he’s been good.”

“Nah.  I bet he just got good at not getting caught.  Always assume cheating until proven otherwise, is what I say,” pontificates Mayfield.

“And that, Mayfeld, is why you’re single,” snickers Woves.

“Right, and you’re beating them off with a stick,” counters Mayfield.  The group laughs, but you find yourself quiet.  You know the Mandos are just joking around and that they’ve all known eachother forever, but you can’t help but bristle a little at the casual way they talk about Poe’s past (and potential?) infidelity.  If the rest of the Mandos are anything like Din, you know they value loyalty and fealty, but did their sense of unwavering commitment not extend to partners?  You and Din haven’t officially discussed exclusivity; you had assumed that like you, Din wasn’t seeing anyone else – but maybe that wasn’t the case. 

You can feel yourself getting in your own head and before you can help yourself, an image of Din kissing someone else flashes before your eyes and your heart constricts painfully.  Sliding off of Din’s lap, you excuse yourself to go check on the food in the oven; you make to busy yourself with taking out and plating the food, but you can’t help it, the heart-breaking image has taken root in your mind.  You’re mad at yourself for spiraling so quickly over something created entirely by your own overactive imagination.  Yes, you haven’t confirmed your relationship status with Din, but he hasn’t given you any reason to give any weight to your sudden anxiety.   This stabbing pain in your chest is entirely of your own making and you feel so much embarrassment that you start to tear up a little bit, which makes it even worse.

You’re not sure how long you’re in the kitchen wallowing, but it must be a while because Din comes in looking for you, “Need any help, pretty bird?”

Turning away from him, you say quietly, “No, thank you though.  I should have everything out in a minute.”

And just like that, Din knows something is wrong; he makes sure you don’t have anything in your hands before wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his nose right behind your ear and kissing your neck lovingly, “I’m here, baby.”

He doesn’t ask you what’s wrong, even though he wants to know.  He doesn’t ask how he can help, even though he would do anything to make it better; he just wants you to know he’s there and that you can come to him on your terms.  You turn in his arms and bury your face into him, breathing in his soothing scent and instantly feeling calmer.  Face smooshed into his chest, you mumble, “Dhnn, dyoothkchhhteenisohhhk?”

Din chuckles, “Sorry, pretty bird, I don’t think I caught that.”

Leaning away slightly, but not making eye contact, you re-ask your somewhat loaded question in a quiet voice, “Din, do you think cheating is ok?”

Cupping your jaw and tilting your head up to meet his concerned eyes, Din says gently, “No, no, I don’t, sweetheart.  What brought this on?  Is it because we were talking about Poe?”

You sigh a small sigh, “I guess so.  You just seem to all be so… okay with his cheating history?  At least everyone talks about it so casually.  And I’m guessing you all know Lisa too… I feel so bad for her if everyone is talking about how her husband cheats like it’s so normal or something…”  You collect yourself and take a deep breath, “Din, actually, no, I’m sorry.  That’s being presumptuous.  You’ve all been friends forever and have so much shared history… I don’t mean to assume anything about your friendships.  I just… I didn’t know if the way Poe’s cheating seems to be no big deal… means that all cheating is no big deal.”

“I see,” considers Din.  He knows this is a serious topic and it obviously means a lot to you, but he can’t help but find your anxious state somewhat endearing, you aren’t usually so flustered and it makes him desperately want to scoop you up in his arms and soothe away your worries.    He bends down to give you a little peck on your lips before picking you up by your waist and placing you on a free space on the counter.  He doesn’t want you to be able to avoid eye contact with him when he answers, “Pretty bird, I don’t blame you for getting the wrong idea.  You’re right, we probably are too casual when we talk about Poe’s exploits.  It’s been going on forever, and he’s kind of like… a show that we get front row seats for?  Like a celebrity kind of?  We love him, and he give us something to talk about, but the way he lives is not the way we live.  He lives in a totally different world than the Mandos; when you’re the boss’ son, you play by different rules.”

You gaze reverently at Din as he so patiently and lovingly talks you down from your self created ledge and can’t help but let a little smile crack.

“Poe… well, you’ll see.  Poe is Poe.  Can’t be mad at him.  And sometimes that makes it seem like the shit he pulls isn’t that bad.  But, baby, for ourselves?  I promise you, no Mando has ever been a cheat.  It goes against everything we stand for; we don’t cheat each other, we don’t cheat the family, and we definitely don’t cheat in our relationships.  And I swear to you, baby – I never have and would never cheat.  Not on anyone, but definitely not you.”  Leaning in to alternate soft kisses to your lips, your neck, the corners of your mouth and your nose, Din’s voice gets low and husky, “Why would I want anyone else?  You’re my dream girl.  You make me laugh and smile.  You’re so sweet.  And the smartest.  You know how smart you are?  I’m obsessed with everything that comes out of that mouth.  I could listen to you talk about anything for hours.  Days.  And you’re beautiful, and kind, and you take care of me, and my friends.  Just look at how much effort you put in to the food for tonight when you didn’t have to even bring anything at all.  I’m so lucky.  Why would I ever want anyone else?”

“Oh Din,” you whisper, marveling at Din’s talent for saying all the perfect things; you had wound yourself up inexplicably tight, but he knew exactly how to calm you and pull you out of your dark place, “How do you always know what I need to hear to feel better?”

“It’s actually very easy, sweetheart.  All I need to do is tell you the truth,” murmurs Din, as he starts to deepen the kisses, “Actually, scratch that.  I lied a bit, I’m just obsessed with this mouth, period.  Love kissing this mouth.  Love when this mouth opens up for me.  How it feels pressed on my skin.  The way it takes my cock…”

“Oh fuck, Din-“

“…but the thing I love the most about this mouth is the sounds it makes when you come,” Din buries his face into your neck, nipping at your sensitive spots as you cross your ankles behind his back and pull him closer.

A round of raucous laughter from the poker table pulls you out of your arousal laden haze and away from Din, both of you panting lightly.  Looking in Din’s eyes and finding nothing but sincerity, you feel comfortable enough to broach the last of your overblown concerns, “Din, if you were seeing other people though, I couldn’t be mad, I guess.  It’s not like we’ve had any talks about exclusivity.”

At first, Din isn’t sure if you’re being serious, the idea so absurd to him.  But when he sees you start to chew your bottom lip nervously, he placates you, “Oh, pretty bird, I didn’t think we needed to have a talk about it.  I’ve been exclusively yours since I met you in the coffeeshop.  I was yours and only yours before I even knew your name, before I knew if I would ever see you again,” Din leans his forehead against yours and you can barely breathe from his romantic words.

When you sigh, relaxed, Din grins, “Feeling better, sweetheart?”  Looking up at him, your eyes bright, you smile and nod happily.  As he helps you hop down from the counter, you cheekily ask, “Don’t you want to ask if I’m seeing anyone else?”

Din stills, hands frozen where they were holding your waist not a moment ago, “Are you?”

Now you can’t help but be mischievous, “And if I were?”

Eyes darkening, Din reaches for you, “Baby, I-”

At that moment, your phone buzzes and you’re saved, “Oh!  Bea and Rory are downstairs!  I’m going to let them in!”  You grab a plate of garlic knots and practically flounce out of the kitchen, depositing the plate at the poker table before exiting the apartment.  You’re about halfway down the stairs when you hear the outside door being buzzed open, and see the smiling faces of your friends along with a the attractive face of a dark haired man you don’t recognize.

The man is chatting animatedly with Bea, his smile lighting up his whole face.  He is quite handsome, you admit – soft longish curls frame his face and he’s mainly clean cut with just a hint of a shadow, giving you a clear view of his chiseled jaw.  His lightly hooded eyes are bright and full of mirth, and his expression is currently so energetic he has a charming, almost boyish look about him. 

You wait for the trio on the second-floor landing; Rory spots you first (“Babe!!”) and rushes up the last few steps before enveloping you in a big hug, the bags in her hands full of clinking wine bottles.  You giggle and give her a big kiss on the cheek, “Is this overkill?” as you peek in her bags and find 7 bottles (2 Cabernet Sauvignons, 2 Sauvignon Blancs, 2 Beaujolais [that’s for you], and one bottle of Rosé).

Rory shrugs, “Didn’t know what everyone would like?”

“That’s why I brought tequila!  Everyone hates tequila!” quips the stranger, beaming widely.

“…and tequila hates everyone,” you smile and introduce yourself while pulling Bea in for a hug.

“Poe!  Poe Dameron!  You must be Din’s girl.  Must say, I can see what the fuss is all about,” he winks, “Guess it’s true what they say, beautiful girls only hang out with other beautiful girls.”

You’re so confused.  The line is so cheesy.  And you know about his flirting from the Mandos… but you’re not creeped out?  Apparently you and your friends are not immune to Poe’s famous charm and earnest brown eyes and you suddenly understand what Din meant when he said you just can’t be mad at Poe.

“Dameron!” comes a shout at the top of the stairs; it’s Paz, with a look of impatience on his face. Unless you’re Paz, you chuckle to yourself.

“Sorry, Heavy P! Got distracted, I mean, even you can’t blame me,” Poe flashes his winning smile again before angling out his elbows and offering up his arms for any willing woman to take.  Letting your friends have at it, you walk ahead and mouth to Paz as you get to the top, “Omigod.  Heavy P?!?”

Paz rolls his eyes and shakes his head (“Lil’ Lady, don’t.”) before muttering, “I swear to god,” and holding out his hands to take the wine from Rory and the bags of food from Bea (which you now realize that Poe notably did not offer to help carry).

You enter the apartment as a comical looking group: Paz laden down with bags that he carries directly to the kitchen (scowling), you looking amused (eyes wide with a kind of astonishment at the scene that just played out), then Poe bringing up the rear, making a grand entrance with a beautiful woman on each arm, grandstanding like a debutant making her entrance at the cotillion.  Al makes a beeline for Rory and Bea when he spots them, and they readily abandon Poe to greet the pup; you have to stifle a snicker when you see Poe’s look of disappointment at having been upstaged by a dog.

“Told you he’s a lot,” a voice whispers in your ear; you turn to find Din grinning at you.  He gives you a little kiss on top of your head before going to greet and welcome your friends.  Introductions are made and everyone gathers around the card table so that those who are playing can play, and everyone can chat, drink and eat.  The Mandos are incredibly hospitable and warm towards your friends; you don’t know if it’s out of kindness to you and Din or just because they really are a friendly bunch, but it fills you with joy to see your friends so well taken care of.  To no one’s surprise (not even Bea or Rory’s), Poe insists on pouring everyone a shot of the tequila he brought and plays deaf to people’s protests.  Rory downs hers without complaint before going back to her cards; you wrinkle your nose in disgust at your shot and when Poe isn’t looking, Din drinks yours, and you see Mayfeld nonchalantly do the same for Bea.  Poe just goes about his business, pouring himself more shots and chaotically raising bets while telling wild story after story about the people in the room (usually targeting the last person who called his hand).  He’s entertaining for sure, and he's seems less interested in winning at poker than he is getting everyone to have a good time.  It’s working.  Poe’s energy is infectious and the tequila is effective - the party gets livelier and livelier as the evening goes on. 

At a certain point, Woves and Paz nearly get into it after Poe (deliberately?) exposes his hand and everyone decides it’s a good time for a break so people can stretch and get more food.  You and Bea flop down on the couch with your wine, and a few people, including Poe, come over to join you, “So, when are you going to come and meet my dad?”

“Why would she meet your dad?” Bea asks curiously.

You look at Poe, your eyes widening just a little, mouth open to interject but having no response ready.  Without missing a beat, Poe says smoothly, “Oh, my dad and Din’s dad were best friends.  Din’s basically family.  My father’s favourite son.”

Bea laughs and you shoot Poe a grateful look, which he acknowledges only with the quickest of winks.  Din comes over, catching the tail end of this exchange; he claps Poe on the back appreciatively before sitting down and throwing his arm around you, “I think I’m done for the night, pretty bird.  Don’t have any more money for Rory to take.”

“Told you she’d clean you all out,” you giggle.

“I think both Bo and Paz are in love with her, too.  I’m not getting in the middle of that, so I’m just going to hang out here with you for the rest of the night, if you don’t mind.”

You shake your head, “Of course not, but are you sure?  I don’t want your friends to think that when I’m around, your attention is divided.”

“Oh, it’s not divided, sweetheart.” Smooth talker.  But you can’t help but feel flushed at Din’s words.

“Ok, ew.  Yeah, Dad is going to love you.  He’s been wanting Din to settle down for forever and he deep down he loves this gooey stuff,” bemoans Poe, and the group cracks up.

When the card game looks like it’s going to start up again, Bea yawns a bit and announces she’s going to go hover over Rory to gently encourage her to cash out her winnings so they can head out soon.  This reminds you that you have something for her, and you excuse yourself saying you’ll be right back.

When you emerge from the bedroom with the book you brought for Bea, you run into Din in the hallway; he’s leaning up against the wall, as if waiting for you.

“Hey you,” your smile easy and wide, reflective of how content you are with how this evening has gone.

Din moves towards you and using only his size advantage, crowds you against the wall he was just leaning against, then braces his forearm above you and peers down at you, “Hey pretty bird.”

You can’t help but let out a school girl giggle at this move.

Still holding your gaze, Din says in a low voice, “Don’t think I forgot what we were talking about in the kitchen before.”

Oh. So that’s what this little display is about; you’ve had a little time to think about it and you smile sheepishly, “Oh Din, I have to apologize for that.  Like, the image of you kissing someone else only flashed across my mind for a second and it upset me so much!  I shouldn’t have teased you with the same thing.  I’m sorry.”  You look up at Din with your most innocent, forgive-me eyes.

Din softens internally; he had been prepared to tease you mercilessly, but now looking down at you and feeling a little bad that you had been upset earlier, he’s tempted to let you off the hook.  Maybe.  

“Pretty bird, I’m sorry you had even a moment’s doubt and that it upset you; in case it’s not clear, I’m yours and yours only.  There isn’t anyone else, baby.  Couldn’t be anyone else.”

You melt under Din’s words and you want to make sure he knows how you feel too, “I feel the same way.  You’re so sweet, and kind, and caring, I can’t believe you’re real sometimes.  You make me so happy.  There’s no one else for me but you, Din.”

“But,” Din leans in to whisper darkly in your ear, “if you were seeing other people…”

You gasp a little at the low edge to his voice. “…I would want to know who they were.”  Din places a light kiss on your jaw before pulling back to move to the other side of your face and when he does, the expression you see on his face makes you shiver.  “I’d want to make sure they were treating you right.”  Another light kiss on your jaw.  Switching back again to the other side to nuzzle just below your ear, he continues in his deep, sultry drawl, “But when it’s my time with you… I’d remind you of who you really belong to.”

Afraid of letting out a whimper, you bite down on your lower lip, eyes open wide while you take in Din’s words.  “The things I would do to you would make you scream out my name until you couldn't speak, until you forget every other name but mine.  And when I’m done, there wouldn’t be any doubt in that pretty head of yours that you belong to me, sweetheart.”

This time you do whimper out loud and you’re sure everyone on the other side of the wall can hear; at this, Din dips to kiss his way to your other ear and growls, “Mine.”  You feel your panties dampen at his possessive words, the low timber of his voice making your knees buckle; Din catches you by wedging his thigh between your legs and you curl your arms under his to steady yourself.  “Yours,” you whisper, “all yours, daddy.”

Din’s mouth is on yours in a flash, tongue gaining quick entrance as your soft moans escape without your permission.  He drinks you in like a man parched, chasing your taste, unable to get enough.  You match the pressing brush of his lips and the movement of his tongue, stroke for stroke; his possessive manner and almost jealous sounding tone unlocking a deep desire within you.  It’s the same part of you that loves to be marked by his mouth, his hands, his cum; that part of your being that wants Din to claim you.  You’re getting all the way lost in Din and the way he surrounds you when you drop the book you’re still holding for Bea and it makes a loud thud that silences the chattering voices on the other side of the wall. 

“Hey, lovebirds!  We can fucking hear you!” booms Paz.

“Looks like I’m not the horniest one for once!”

“Shut up, Dameron!” Din yells, but with a grin only for you, “Yeah, I’m kicking them all out now, pretty bird.”

Chuckling, you give Din a sweet kiss before picking up the book that gave you both away, “Don’t do that.  We need to give Rory time to take all of Poe’s money.”  Winking, you turn to blow Din a kiss before rounding the corner to a chorus of hoots and hollers.

---

Poker night has been so much fun, you’re almost sad it’s over.  Everyone ate and loved the food you and the girls brought over; Mayfeld quietly apologizes for eating over 70% of the garlic knots and on behalf of everyone else who plan to politely demand that you supply the food for all future poker games.  To no one’s surprise, Rory leaves the poker game the big winner, having taken nearly everyone’s money and also the hearts of both Paz and Bo.  Jimmy and Brian encourage you to invite your friends to the next big fight, making sure to do so in Bea’s earshot.  Woves and Koska, both wine drunk, fight over who gets to take Al out for his nighttime walk; a fight they both lose when Din steps in and declares clearly that Al’s late-night walks are spoken for.  Poe, to (poorly) quote Pride and Prejudice, simpered and smirked all evening and made love to them all – you concede that the Mandos were right, he really is the life of the party. 

After everyone leaves and you put your girls in a cab, you and Din set out on your nightly walk with Al.  As you stroll through the neighbourhood, still bustling despite the late hour, you feel Din pull you closer into his side and you respond by hugging his waist and looking up adoringly at him, “I think Al had such a good time tonight, Din.  Thank you for letting me bring him.”

“Of course.  Al’s my boy.  What about you, pretty bird?  Did you have a good time?”

You nod truthfully, “I really did.  I think everyone had such a good time and your friends were so, so nice to my friends.”

“Even Poe?”

“Especially Poe.”  You both chuckle and continue the walk in comfortable silence for a bit.  Deep in thought about the serious discussion the two of you had in the midst of all the fun tonight, Din wants to make sure you’re feeling okay, “How are you feeling about what we talked about?  I know some of the stuff with Poe made you a bit uneasy.”

“Mmmhmm, I went to a bad head space for a bit, but you pulled me out.  Thank you, Din,” you say, lightheartedly, your easy tone suggestive of having moved past it.

“I’m always here for you, pretty bird.”

“And I’m more than okay with what we talked about,” you add; it’s an innocent enough response, but now you’re thinking about how hot your conversation in the hallway was.  Recalling Din’s dark expression as he talked about making you his has you squirming and you feel the warmth of your arousal start to seep through your panties.  When you finally make it to the sidewalk outside of the gym, you decide to broach the topic again.

“Din?”

“Yes, baby?”

You consider how to ask for what you want, “When we get home, do you think you can.. I want you to… do what you said in the hallway?”

Din tilts his head slightly to convey he’s not sure what you mean.

Suddenly shy, the words spill out in a hurry, “I want you act like I’m seeing other people, and then I want you to fuck me hard until I forget that anyone exists but you.”

Realization hits Din like a freight train and he’s overcome by his need to have you right now, “Is that what you want, pretty bird?  You want me to make you scream my name so many times you don’t need to know any one else’s?”

You nod, biting your bottom lip, “Fuck me and claim me, daddy.”

“Holy fu-, I can do that.  But tonight, I’m not your daddy.  You only call me by my name.  Got it, pretty bird?”

Wordlessly, you nod again.

“Good girl.  Now get upstairs.”

Go to: Ch. 11 Addendum - After The Poker Game

#din djarin #din djarin fic #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x reader #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #modern!din djarin #modern au #din djarin fluff

[asha-mage]

DELICIOUS LEWS THERIN AND ISHY SCENE

"I know how much you hate being alive. But I don't want to do this again." WOOF

Fascinating that this was apparently a targeted strike at the different Forsaken, probably picking them off before the strike against The Pit of Doom.

INTRO RETURNS AW YEAH

A part of me was kinda hoping for a new season 2 one with the Heroes of the Horn, but Spoilers probably meant it couldn;t be. Maybe next time. (Also the Aes Sedai one slaps anyways)

I will NEVER be able to forgive them for making so many hateable men so god damn hot, Bornhold topping the list. And by 'never be able to forgive' I mean 'never be able to thank enough'. (see also: Masema)

28 feels like to small a number of damane for the Seanchan to have in Falme, but I suppose it's a rough estimate and also not including those still in 'training'

The Watches Over the Waves have always been one of those loose threads that never really got touched on. Glad their getting a glancing shot here.

"Prophecies are just the lies of long dead witches" intereeeesting. Not a shocking take for the Whitecloaks to have.

AW YEAH THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE ROAD TRIP EVER

Dang Lanfear cold blooded still.

Perrin and Avi! Aw yeah again!

......Interesting. What is that mist I wonder?

I continue to be so happy they nailed the Aiel so right.

Man Lanfear and Ishamael really sound like they ARE trying to seduce Rand to be their third.

FUCK that's clever (re: The Whitecloak smoke trick)

Their changing the framing of the Egwene rescue a bit, but their keeping Nynaeve's half of it pretty the same, so I'm hoping it will play out like in the books. Still one of my favorite scenes in the series.

Of course Ishamael steps out of that room and IMMEDIATELY knows that Lanfear is trying to play him

Mat! And Padan Fain! Surprised we aren't getting more of a reaction to Padan Fain is A Darkfriend from Mat, but that is a reveal that's pretty old to the audience at this point.

Moiraine and Lan! Platonic marriage re-established!

I like that they gave this speech to Loial re: heroes of a new age. It's very fitting for his character.

Offff. At least it's white cloaks so Egwene isn't going to have nearly as much guilt for slaughtering them.

FUCK

RANDA AL'THOR YOU ARE THE FUNnIEST PERSON ON THE PLANET

on the one hand i've always loved the Turak vs Rand duel, on the other....yeah probably does not have the sword trainining needed to do that this time round.

By Turak! At least you got to take Suroth down a peg this time!

Glad they kept the ritual suicide of the So'jhin re: Turak's death. It's one of those moments for hitting home just how fucked the Seanchan culture is.

.....Interesting choice to cut Ingtar's confession, especially after making a point to show the Shienar falcon early in the season. By Ingtar!

Oh hey Domon! You took Moiraine's advice I see.

'Take them to the deepest part of the ocean and dump them' Pffffffft. Peak Lanfear

MAY MAKING A NAGINTA WITH THE DAGGER IS SO A?UAHGAUSDUGHASUDGHASDGAUHSDGASUHFADSUHFASDFUH?ASDFASDFASDFAS

[It was at this point that I lost all coherence and stopped being able to liveblog effectively so here are some of my assorted post credits thoughts]

MOIRAINE AND LAN KILLING IT ONCE MORE

I have conflicted feelings about Egwene actually killing Renna, related mostly to the scene from the books being so important to the under laying themes of justice and fate, but I also can't deny that with it's shifted framing, it makes complete sense for the characters, and it heightens the ongoing theme of 'The Forsaken where to Lews what the EF5 where to Rand'.

I also have conflicted feelings about Nynaeve not being the one to heal Rand's wound, but I understand the logic of the choice, even if I don't agree with it.

On the other hand it is BRILLIANT AND INCREDIBLY SMART CHOICE to have Bornhold Senior be the one to kill Hopper, and Perrin to kill him in revenge. It's going to make the Two Rivers stuff A Lot More. It will also make Perrin's conviction to give himself up to the Whitecloaks make a lot more sense.

MAT BEING A HERO OF THE HORN IS INTERESTING BECAUSE MAT SPECIFICALLY WASN'T IN THE BOOKS- HE REFUSED REPEATEDLY THROUGH MANY LIVES. This lends credence to the 'future turning of the wheel' credence of the show which I've always favored anyways.

The scene where all these pivotal character moments are happening while Mat blows the horn, all these different arcs turning on their head, is SO FUCKING BRILLIANT

ALSO CONGRATS ON THE PROMOTION TO HERO OF THE HORN UNO

They don't specifically name drop any heroes in the scene, and I'll have to go back with X Ray to see if any are named, but THEIR SURE IS A BLONDE ARCHER LADY IN THAT SHOW SO FOR NOW HIGH BIRGITTE

ALSO HIGH ARTUR HAWKWING I ASSUME on the one hand it feels weird for your line to be directed at Mat instead of Rand. On the other your part in this scene originally was really just to drive home beyond any shadow of doubt, any ability of Rand to deny it to himself for a reason beyond stubbornness, that he was the Dragon. Rand's already accepted that here so you're not strictly speaking necessary for that, but still.

The shot where everyone is standing united against Ishamael is SO FUCKING GOOD.

Also by Ishamael! We'll see you in a few seasons in your newer, hotter, twinkier body!

(I don't envy the actor that has to live up to Fares Fares, it's going to be no easy task).

ALSO ENTER: THE OTHER FORSAKEN, dun dun dun!

Moggy fucking with Lanfear is so fucking good. FEED IT TO ME SLOWLY WITH GRAPES

GIRL SET HER TRAP AND WAITED FOR LANFEAR TO WALK INTO IT JUST SO SHE COULD GET THE UPPER HAND AND GLOAT IN AN OVERWHELMINGLY LESBIAN WAY WHAT AN ICON

Oh man I am going to rewatch and binge this entire season like FORTY TIMES.

#WoT #WoT on PRime #Wheel of Time #Wheel of Time On Prime #WoT Book Spoilers #ACOS Spoilers #*deep breath* #rand al'thor #ishamael #perrin aybara #loial #Mat cauthon #Egwene al'vere #moiraine damodred #nynaeve al'meara #lan mandragoran #elayne trakand #lanfear #turak aladon #Ingtar #Padan Fain #Suroth Sabelle Meldarath #Renna emain #still surprised she eventually got a last name in World Of #dain bornhald #masema dagar #this probably as good as it's gonna get for right now #more thoughts to come as I managed to form them out of the mass of BRAIN JUICE #WoT S2 e8 #almost forgot that one

[cupiidzbow]

i’ve been using twitter a lot more for my self ship stuff too and i drew funky and my friend sent me the post in dms and this is genuinely the funniest fucking thing on the planet

#LIKE SHE WAS WAS LIKE…. u drawing big men is like ur superpower and I want like 😙✌🏽 #*was #I LOVEEEE Making people want my favs it’s so fun #🫲🏽 let’s like big pretty men …. together … 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 #I’ve been so embarrassing abt him on that twt i jusy think he’s prettay…. hansome……. #🥹🥹🥹 #txt #🦍🏄‍♂️🌊

[fenrhi]

I am now FREE to ramble on and on about the newest episode, so without further ado.....

-Ok so obviously Akutarou is a horrible person and all, but I did feel a little pity for him in this episode, because his anguish at having lost his connection with Ichiya was very well portrayed. Later in the episode, he's even wandering in the streets like a hobo, having also lost his authority as "Emperor" so we can say karma hit him good

The desperation with which he pulled the trigger really got to me....

-Amidst this breakup arc, there was one unintentionally funny moment:

You're telling me Ichiya thinks Matakara has MORE darkness in his heart than *gestures at whatever the fuck is going with Akutarou*? He could have just said "Yeah sorry I prefer cheerful puppybois"....

-Really concerned about this line adsdghkllj like just how many dudes did Ichiya make a contract with

-No no Senya you don't understand, this is probably one of the best things Arajin has done so far. And it does take courage to tell a friend as delusional as Matakara "Stop worshipping the ground I walk on! I'm a piece of shit!"

-Zabu and Komao are the best friends Matakara could ask for.... searching everywhere for him....always worried about him (;--;)

-Funniest duo in this show

-Boys will be boys

-When I saw this weirdass Ken Doll version of Marito, I thought "you know, this show is already so goddamn weird, this might as well happen"

-I REFUSE TO BELIEVE HES DEAD I AM LOOKING AWAY

- I'm aware that the "shadow" is metaphorical, a symbol of Matakara's fear and weakness, but my monkey brain is always like "if a creepy shadow monster started following me I too would like to throw hands"

"The girl you are romantically pursuing doesn't want a carved stone (symbol of love) but your male childhood friend would love to receive one" subtext is dead part 2

-YAAAS QUEEN GO STRAIGHT FOR THE JUGULAR

-Babies IchiSen..... Peace And Love On Planet Earth

-Why couldn't you break up like normal people why did you have to get everyone else involved

-No more pics coz of Tunglr Limit, so I'm ending this post by saying I'm very excited to see the chaos Akutarou's actions will unleash next week

#bucchigiri?! #this is so long asdfghjkljl

[dadr0ckmusic]

stranger things headcanons because i said so (fruity four + billy)

basically them in my dr

steve harrington

does restaurant challenges unironically. like he has to eat a big wet daddy burger in an hour just for a plaque on the wall and a pic with the owner smh

calls his car babygirl

modern au where he texts the girl he likes at 1:11, 2:22, etc just to get her hopes up

loves madonna. you can't tell me otherwise

he does yoga. and if you catch him he'll threaten your life

calls his house 'the love shack'

if you were just becoming friends with him he would listen to your music or do your hobbies with you just to make you happy

would totally rock out to stacy's mom

he gives off lactose intolerant vibes. i do not make the rules.

would definitely have playlists called "alt songs that make you drink monster" or "sad vibes" or "coronavirus got me like"

would've fucking KILLED on grindr

would love twilight. he's on team jacob

laughs at minion memes

robin buckley

the literal queen of your mom jokes

she would totally say "who up wonking they willy rn"

would work at spencer's

she had a ton of hamsters that died the most traumatic deaths when she was a kid and they're all buried in her backyard

loooves poop and fart jokes

she still sleeps with the same stuffed bear she had when she was little (and we are NOT judging)

says "oh my goodness gracious" at the funniest possible times

would literally FUCK at rainbow loom

her childhood room was purple and steve picks on her for it

cannot use chopsticks to save her life

one time steve made her mad so she literally WENT OFF THE GRID and he didn't see her for a whole week and he was freaking the fuck out

was a bug girl. worms? fuck yeah. roly polys? best buds. what the fuck is that thing? it has a terrarium now.

literally is the most caring person on the planet. she's always worrying about you and what you're feeling and what you're doing

only eats the marshmallows out of lucky charms

is scared of bees

billy hargrove

he bakes. he bakes cookies, cupcakes, you name it. if you ever catch him he's FORCING you to taste whatever he's making

an AVID reader. he's got books all over his room, stolen library books in the glove box of his car, and he's reading the hawkins post every morning no matter what

his mom taught him how to sew. lets say after a mishap with the whole 'different dimension' thing, you're bummed cause you got a hole in your favorite shirt. billy would be like "i can fix it for you" and you're like "what??" but he just gets mad and goes "just give me the fucking shirt" and then the next day he's bringing it to you good as new

hates cooked carrots

can fall asleep anywhere. couch, car, at a party, you name it. he will find a spot to fall asleep

he was actually very interested in supernatural stuff when he was younger. and then when max started telling him about everything billy was like "wait. i read this about... blah blah blah" and max is just so surprised

he can totally make a mean cocktail. you want a pina colada? whipped up in seconds. craving a margarita? he's got the salt ready. feeling like an old fashioned? liquor's already in front of him.

he never wears sunscreen. not a single spf anywhere on his body.

calls girls broads and you can NOT tell me otherwise

totally thinks metallica was at its best in their thrash era. sorry bud i'd hate to break it to you

hates the fourth of july cause of y'know.

i feel like he would totally get into dog rescue after he leaves hawkins.

would totally kick ass at mario kart. like he's THE BEST and he always chooses bowser

would totally bash you for your music taste if it was different than his. "what the hell is a beatle?" "mick jagger is not hot." "queen? aren't they gay?" "zeppelin? who taught you that?"

a literal GOD at making mac n' cheese

nancy wheeler

so so so stubborn it's actually annoying.

call her 'einstein' and you're six feet under the floorboards

the tom cruise poster in her room has stared her in the face ever since robin commented on it

nancy's actually amazing at rollerskating. like even mike was surprised because when did she get good at that?

she has nightmares about what happened to barb multiple times a week :(

please know that if you're really close to her she would kill someone for you. no hesitation.

she's super literal? like when someone asks a hypothetical question she's like "when would this happen? why w-" and then immediately get cut off

has a tonnn of notebooks/journals just filled with random stuff like doodles, school notes, reminders, and little ramblings

has plants named after each of her friends and when something's wrong with one of the plants, there's always something wrong with the friend.

is a feminist (slay)

she saves every birthday card given to her and keeps them in a box in her closet

she's a morning person. up and at 'em before 9 every morning and it pisses the gang off when they all sleep in the wheeler's basement. "nancyyyyy..... close the curtains i beg of you..." "it's such a beautiful day, don't you think?"

she's actually amazing at shoplifting.

eddie munson

is allergic to peanuts

when i tell you this man is spontaneous... think 100x more. he'll pull up to your house at 11pm and declare that he planned a road trip while sitting in detention earlier that day and that you're going with him. "eddie what are you doing here? it's so late." "we're going to ohio. we're gonna stop in columbus for like five minutes and drive back." "what the hell."

has cried to sweet child o' mine and will keep that fact to his grave

owns multiple pairs of boxers with superhero logos on them.

definitely has 10 in 1 shampoo that he uses for everything.

ate dirt as a child

if you ever smoke pot with him, just expect him to say the weirdest shit while he's doing whatever. "do you think steve is thinking about me right now?" "yoooooo...... uh.... yo..... um...... i forgot....." "i want to get a cat." "shut up eddie."

he's just,,,, so oblivious,,,,, to sarcasm, flirting, jokes, etc

has ADHD, no doubt about it.

just like billy, he'll bash you on your music taste no matter what. even if you like the same music as him. "that's your favorite tool song? god, you could do way better than that." "c'mon, you know that dio sang better than ozzy." "munson, you're lying straight through your teeth and you know it."

will make you friendship bracelets and you KNOW you're wearing them till you die.

modern au where you're facetiming him and he takes SO MANY facetime pics of you and sometimes makes them his lockscreen. he thinks he's THE SHIT for that.

he giggles. a total giggler.

he flicks dustin in the head all the time.

#can you tell billys my fav #stranger things imagine #stranger things hc #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #fruity four #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things season four #stranger things #steve harrington hc #robin buckley hc #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler x reader #nancy wheeler headcanons #billy hargrove hc #eddie munson hc

[helyiios]

I had a dream once that the IMF boys had a tiktok and did the classic tiktok things mid-missions and stuff and I NEED to know you opinion on what their account would be like

Ok so replying to this again. I think Benji Jane and Will are the most online (and let’s indulge and say that it doesn’t cause conflit of interest with the fact they’re secret agents lol)

Benji’s the most popular (2.3M followers) and he posts the randomest most funniest shit on the PLANET. He hardlaunches Ethan with the out of my league trend (13M) despite NEVER mentioning being in a relationship before. He regularly forces Luther and Ethan to do trends w the rest of Hunt’s team, like I can’t find ayesha cuz she’s probably sucking dick/bitch pick up your goddamn phone you’re gonna make me sick where they all are on it w really cool transitions. He likes to talk abt SW or ST or DW a lot and one of his most liked videos (and how some people discovered him) is him replying to a comment that’s like “what’s knotting” and he just stares into the cam while putting one a red nose to a circus music. He posts himself and Ilsa while they’re dressed up for the opera on a mission with like the song fashion in the background and everyone goes crazy. He posts a vid where it’s him and Ethan looking at each other with the baby I’m yours song and it gets like 20M views. He does a transition from him at the gym to him in evening clothes he had to wear for a mission to everyday I spend my time drinking wine feeling fine and he doesn’t EVEN mean to do it as a thirst trap but that’s how it’s received and people are like oh my god…benji. Similarly he makes a post where he details his tattoos (after being asked a buncha times) and he’s shirtless, and everyone’s losing their minds because they’re like YOU HAVE A SIX PACKS? He and Jane post a short dancing vid to cmon let’s get it started lemme see you move your body and it goes goes viral bcs that’s when their respective followers find out they’re friends. He makes a photo post that’s like we’ll be a fine line we’ll be alright with a pic of the first hunts team mission w their latest one, and people ask him if he likes Harry styles and he just goes “who❤️” He does the pabrobui mwah mwah trend w Ilsa while they’re ALSO in a mission in Poland and they’re dressed in very warm clothes and everyone’s like oh my god…I’ve seen two pretty best friends. I genuinely think he’s got a few moves in him so there’s one of his most liked vids where he’s filming himself cooking in his kitchen where he’s barely dancing to busy earnin’ and the vibes are IMMACULATE. He 100% did the ceilings and you with the dark curls you with the watercolour eyes trends. He ALSO forced the entire team to do the benjamin’s deli trend (dancing slowly in the light vs throwing moves in the dark while people put on their phones’ light). He also posts himself during a training sesh to bts’ steve aoki remix mic drop and people are like YOU FUCKING KNOW BTS? and he just goes stan jin👍 he’s also a skilled violin and piano player so sometimes he posts himself playing.

Jane’s account is at 700k and one of her most liked vids is with Ilsa where they’re lipsynching the pam and i feed off each other’s energy. I tease her, she teases me (…) and that’s when people start to get that they’re all mates. She does the bitch you know I’m sexy trend with Will and Benji. She forces Ethan (he lost a dare) to do the you carry yourself with the confidence of a…much taller man trend. She soft launches Ilsa w a video of “24H in my life” (while she’s on break) where you can see glimpse of her gf and her followers go insane trying to figure out who it is. She posts herself and benji where benji’s tied to a repelling cable on a high building and she’s zooming in on him w the never back down never what/never give up audio in the background and people are like what the fuck r y’all doing??? She also is a great dancer so she regularly posts herself to the latest dance trend (she KILLED Angel in Tibet and Back on 74.) Both she and Benji did the okokokok lalala trend w their respective partners. (ilsa’s ok janes lala and ethans lala while benjis okokok)

Brandt (560k) is fucking hysterical bcs you’d think he doesn’t know what fun is and is so serious about literally everything and well. you’d be kind of right. He mostly post himself at the gym and people ask him a lot abt his supplements and his program, things to which is gracefully replies. His most liked video is SO Brandt coded because it’s just him crossed armed at his desk looking into the cam with like, company in the background, which technically qualifies as a thirst trap and everyone’s so confused because they’re like oh my god…I think I’m attracted to office workers. He also posts a lot of him sparring, sometimes w Benji or Jane or Ethan or Ilsa and people go kind of insane about those. He never gets Hunley on cam but once he replies to a comment that’s like “are you free tonight” and he just stares into the cam and pulls hunley’s left hand w the wedding band on it with the audio IM MARRIED in the background. THATS where his followers find out he’s gay and they’re like A WIN FOR THE COMMUNITY. Just like benji he can play the guitar, so sometimes he posts vids of himself playing, either of requested songs or some he likes.

#yvaintive #ask #anon #mission impossible #ethan hunt #ilsa faust #benji dunn #jane carter #william brandt

[jinx-blackout-84]

I may have a history of regrettable decisions

Hi! My name is Jinx!

Use whatever pronouns you use for yourself for me

And hey! If you're having a bad day, here's a masterpost of some links to cheer you up

Your residents tide pods georg, doorframe eating, vice president of the sad blonde boys club, thundercubed fanboy.

and a part of the mutuals cinematic universe (gay roleplay gang) with my husbands @glo-katt84 @felixisfruity and @swagaythor

My spotify

CWs for this blog: I talk about sex, I discuss racism and homphobia and abelism, I do not support any discrimination. I talk about mcyts, I curse, and I have a very weird posting schedule.

My goodnight posts:

#goodnight post

Any discourse:

#discourse

Me just talking:

#jinx screams into the void

Talking to my friends:

#and the void screams back

Reblogs:

#Foraged from the void

Anytime I talk about fics I am writing:

#Fic stuff

Real life stories:

#real life stories

Or

#jinx exists in real life D:

Song posting:

#Jinx lyricposts

#Jinx songposts

Talking to Katt:

#Katt my beloved husband

Speaking of which, DON'T go check out my Cannon CHEATING EX-husband, @glokatt

Roleplaying with the nutuals:

#mcu (mutual cinematic universe)

The husband War (first mcu story):

#the husband war saga

Katt's secret (second mcu story):

#katt's secret saga

DNI----

Usual DNIs, DREAM STANS GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG

I will use tone indicators if requested!

I am a minor so please don't send me sex things!

Check this out

Signed, ꧁༒☬𝙹 𝚒 𝚗 𝚡☬༒꧂

Whoah cool font

Thank you for reading <3

Time for my 50 billion userboxes and fanart

Flash warning below the cut

FANART TIME

⬆️ This beautiful art from the wonderful, lovely, talented, kind, and amazing @glokatt

⬆️This amazing art from my beloved friend @felixisfruity, who is so amazing and talented and I AGAHAGGAGA.

⬆️ this AMAZING fanart is also by @glokatt, who is perhaps the kindest, funniest, most chaotic person on this planet. They are so awesome and you should go check out his blog because they are the absolute coolest.

⬆️ this amazing fanart by amazing and wonderful and funny and super cool mutual @dumbartist101 whom I adore! Go check them put because they are amazing and wonderful and so cool aghggagagagag.

Sorry for being a userbox whore

#intro post #Fic stuff #Goodnight post #Jinx screams at the void #And the void screams back #Foraged from the void