#HEY THESE FISH ARE GAY AND YOU CANT STOP THEM
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live slug reaction (aka naina watches the cm movie after midnight and provides long and dumb and unnecessary commentary) (there be spoilers inside. tread w caution and all that jazz)
THE BOOOKK i wonder if we'll get to see the pages eventually.
also remembered my au i based off it...... i gotta dig it up
the recap aka watch how hard can i cry abt krdcs story despite having it seen it like 50 times already
adachi cringefail compilation in reverse so true
HELP ME WHYARE THEY SITTING LIKE THATSHHDHD. they are just sitting . five feet apart cause theyre not gay
ROKKAKU. I LOVE YOU BUT WHY ..... who was he trying to call anyway .....
their fucking faces i cant do thsidjbfjsjd those shifty ass side glances im losing it theyre so NERVOUS IM YELLING
ADACHI MY BELOVED AUGH HE DIDNT EAT ...... and them both laughing AUGHHH theyre my everythingggGGGG
HAHAHAHAHAHA HE REALLY WAS JEALOUS OF THE CHICKEN NOODLES i thought ppl were kidding but no . oh my god
ALSO.! KUROSAWAS ROOM IN DETAIL FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! taking notes for No reasons
obsessed w how adachi so Obviously checks to see if their feet are touching and kurosawa, Aware of the powers, just does not see it
theyre so cute fucking hell.....
OHHH GIMME GIMME TIME LETS GOOOO
oh the camping trip ough. . .. would pay to be the fish just to watch this sappy ass shit irl
theyre both so dumb theyre literally made for each other i swear
Kurosawa. What Is Wrong With You. Stop Thinking Things Ur Scaring The Little Man
unrelated but omg the shots are sooo pretty i love the waterfall one....
NOT THE 'LOOKING AT THE PERSON WHILE SAYING "ITS BEAUTIFUL"' TROPE NOOOOO IM WEAK
hh.. h h n . h . . hands.. Hands
THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: 2)
OFFICE GANG IS BACKKK i missed them...... ms fujisaki my queen most of all
WHAT IS W THAT GAY ASS STARE ACROSS THE OFFICE U GUYS HELLO
ADACHIS ROOM !!!!!! sorry i like it a lot seeing it again is like seeing an old friend.......
"for us to be together forever" WHAT IF I THREW MYSELF OFF MY BED !!!!!!!!!!!!
"i wished for our happy days to last forever" AND WHAT IF I PARACHUTE JUMPED OFF A PLANE!!!!!!!!!!
also dear god knowing what happens next as they say this is . it Is.
ah . its them. tsugemina.... ha ha one part of the show i didnt rlly miss
my 'kurosawa actually cares a lot abt rokkaku when hes not busy being jealous of him' agenda REAL and CANON
THE BESTIES ok i did miss adachi and tsuges bestie-isms . they are so funny
MINATO? THEY WERE TALKING ABT DRINKS MY DUDE .......
the og soundtrack in the bg ......... Yeah
ADACHI LOOKING AT KUROSAWA LIKE THAT GUYS I CANT DO THIS I CANNOTTTT
THEYRE SO CUTE FUCK OFF (counter: 3)
comedic genius w that cut from adachi hoping for them to be together all to finding out abt the transfer
rokkaku... i am looking at him .....
ADACHI BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB SOOOO TRUE
noooo noooooooo noooOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THE FLASHBACKS NOOOOOOOOOO MY POOR HEART
seeing all the times kurosawa sacrificed what he wants for adachis sake ....... girlie who allowed this im so
Ah. Kurosawas Face..... Bros I Cant Do This....
THE BRIDGE !!!!!!!!!! THE™ BRIDGE™!!!!!!!!!!!!
KUROSAWA STOP FAKING STOP IT IM SHAKING YOU STOP ITTTT
SONS OF BITCHES FUCKING HELL THIS ANGST AAAAJAJJHDHBD. .JDJJE. DYING
KUROSAWAAAAAAAA
ep 1 parallel..... eats it up. definitely giffing this later Yeah
OUGH THE DISTANCE THE SLIDING SHOT THING (???? IDK I DONT KNOW FILM THINGS) THE DISCONNECT BETWEEN THEIR WORDS AND EXPRESSION OUGH OUGHHHH
A. AAA .A A.A..A. THIS IS JUST BEGINNING OF EP12 AGAIN WHY
hey that reminds me of the evil fic idea i was gonna write after watching the movie :)
Also. just noticed i have been talking in caps too much. sorry but 1) its late my brain isnt working 2) i gotta yell man
NEW FRIENDS who is He ........ who are all of they i need to know for fic purposes
THE PEN FUCK OFF NOOOOO . HE LOOKS SO SAD I . . .... . .. .. .HUGS HIM
adachi my talented brilliant genius amazing son . thats it thats the point
adachi my son hey hello. i understand jps toxic work culture but please. dont do that
so many pretty shots of kurosawa but he looks so sad in them..... this is his burden
adachi, alone, walking past couples/ppl in pairs..... poetic cinema
O NAGASAKI APARTMENT i am Perceiving 👁️👄👁️
kurosawa running to get his phone...... someone fly this man to kyushu Right Now
ough kurosawa pov. . always promising w angst as always
HE WAS LYING........ MY GUYS U GOTTA COMMUNICATE
THE BGM IS SOO GOOD BTW HITS SO HARD i think this is a leitmotif but brains too wack rn to recognise which piece its from
FUCK. THE PEN FUCK EVERYTHING AAAAAA WHY DO THEY DO THIS S
Looking. At the Apartment. Tidbits and Things and Blue Theme (very good and perhaps meant to match kurosawas place) but also adachi why is it . like this
47k yen flight bro............ call me unromantic bc i would not unless Absolutely Necessary
aha. foreshadowing.
oh my god okay its happening . gif
adachi jesus okay no stop stoppp go sit down please im begging you
Ah.
yuta 'jumping to grave conclusions' rokkaku strikes again . in his defense he probably didnt know anything but man
AGH. G GHH J N .. J N J JJ KDJDJD . GOOD GOD
A. . OOF . OKAY i fucking forgot abt that dream oh goodness . adachi i am psychoanalysing ur brain now
not remembering phone numbers he just like me fr
WAIT SHIT FUCJ OH . OH
SAYING THIS AGAIN. THE FUCKING RELIEF ON HIS FAAACEEEEEE IM UNWELLLLL
they hugged there btw im declaring this canon rn
fucking Finalllyyyy they Talk
"i nearly lost it" imagining his perspective and. H. . . ... hsj.. kj. ikk.w..d..
"i thought id never see you again" Who ...... why ................ to hurt me ...????? personally??????????
smashing a rock over my head during adachis lines
JESUS. CHRIST. KUROSAWA .......
OH MY GOD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (REMIX)
HANDS. PASSING AWAY NOW THANK YOU.
guys . what the fuck (<- rendered speechless)
parallel 2 !!!!!!! lets go!!!!
AH I SEE NOW. THE CARESSING. WOW......
ok a complaint here. honestly there wasnt enough use of the magic to even feel like it was missing tbh ? like it got mentioned and plot device-d but we barely heard any actual thoughts so the lack of it felt exaggerated imo
ITS THE SCENE ITS THE EDJDJJ JJHDJE BACK HUG WAUGH
aaaaand we're back to the THEYRE SO CUTE'S (counter: 4)
unrelated but how did the carpet not stain
PULLING MY HAIR OUT. THEIR PROMISE. SCREAMING
omg the besties <3 ignoring the tsugemina tho lol
HEEEEEEE omg he looks adorable..... also wow damn that was a fast time skip for 8 whole months lmao
THE FRIENDSHIPS. ACTUALLY LOVE THEM SO MUCH....
ROKKAKU I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU HES SOOO SWEET
the student becomes the teacher.....
haha . foreshadowing :D
THEY ARE. SO FUCKING CUTE (counter: 5? i think? slowly losing count)
also complaint 2 a bit suddenly but arent the subs a bit off...... not that i know any jp but i feel like they arent exactly right at times
THE ICONIC PYJAMAS RETURN also omg kurosawa avoiding the topic ohhh i wanna squish his cheeks so bad
THE SWEET LIFE DAYDREAM OUTFITS RETURN....... also the fucking choir playing every time kurosawa goes into his. . Adachi Mode. so good
PICTURES TIMEEEE PARALLEL 3
kurosawa meets the in-law (food truck guy)
OH THE MAIL SCENE AAAWWWWWWWW STOPPPPPPPPPP
guys i cannot. the matching everything. chores list . fucks sake. this is a scene from a fic i swear
my 'kurosawa is Not a morning person' agenda. real and canon
kurosawa scrunkly of all fucking time like there is not a more scrunkly chara ive seen in my life i love him so much oh my god
hey have i mentioned how cute they are yet . no? ok here it is. They Are So Cute (counter: 6 or something)
KUROSAWA CARES ROKKAKU IM TELLING YOUUUUU
oh what does that say on urabes laptop
(unrelated. had to pause here bc i felt a tiny earthquake and that scared the fuck out of me oof,, anyways back to the brain rot)
rokkaku and fujisaku u both are So real
ah them again.... looking at the besties Only
Hehehehehehe Adachi Got Plans
closing my eyes sorry i dont care abt these two at all ,,......
oh my god tsuge cursed...... king shit
ADACHI UR BRAINNN MASSIVE HUGE MY GENIUS SON..... HES PLANNING FAR AHEAD ALREADY SOBBSS
"i want to have a life with you forever and for always" this. .this. the. Head in my Hands. how am i supposed to cope with this . Hello
AAGHHGGH HUG !!!!!!!!!!
i heard the legends of the resume. i did not know it was this intricate. kurosawa my guy what the fuck
taking notes tho. hm yes birthday same as manga kurosawa..... hmmmm yes mari Is his sisters name...... hmmm past jobs (?). hope someone translates the whole thing
boy abt to pitch himself as adachis boyfriend like a stationary product. u know what? unique. points for creativity
WAIT THE REASON FOR APPLY HELP ME DNDJEJDJD THIS MAN someone please please translate this oh my god
KUROSAWA LORE!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god mari got lore too yesssss good for her
why did they reduce kazuyas number of kids.... was it an actor casting thing
OH ADACHI FAMILY !!!!!! LOOKING INTENSELY
kurosawa.......... hes so determined....
AWWWWW IM SO HAPPY FOR THEMMM best family i care them 🥺🥺🥺🥺
"welcome to our family" SOBBING SO LOUD
omg the shogi scene....... that indirect asian family brand of acceptance....... love to see it
YEAHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHH THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE !!!!!!! (refusing to think abt the next part)
chuckles. uh oh.
HEY ITS THAT SCENE . i didnt know it happened here oh
mont blanc again hehe
kurosawa did we not learn. did we not learn from the nagasaki part. my man
PARK!!! PARK™!!!!!! PARK PARK ITS THE OUUHHHHGHHGFFD [passes out]
somehow every speech adachi has given this movie has felt like a goddam punch to the stomach . Pain
losing count of the parallels there are so many Sooo Many
THE BGMMMMMMM ITS THAT ONE SONG
WAIT SURPRISE HUG OH THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. FUCK THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: i dont know anymore)
preparing my hands to be thrown later
the contrast of their houses is soo interesting me like adachis parents house being small and traditional vs kurosawas parents house being bigger and modern
and smth smth yet adachis family being more accepting of them despite that ....... Looking
saw ppl being like 'why did they bring irl problems into silly gay show' and yes i understand but also 1) this happened in the manga 2) i feel like this is kind of necessary ? not just from a realism perspective but for the storytelling??? like the point is to show adachis growth using hurdles and to show how he gets over them so without a serious scene like this i dont think his chara development would hit as hard
YEAH LIKE THAT. JUST LIKE THAT. HOW BEING W KUROSAWA MADE HIM BRAVER TO TAKE ON CHALLENGES
oh. he said it. well guys it was a good run for my online presence im going to go lock myself in my bathroom for the rest of my life now adios
OK GOOD THEY BROUGHT UP HIS SELF IMAGE AND PERFECTIONISM ISSUES . ITS IMPORTANT TO ME
"but then i met adachi. he accepted me as i am" bro i cannot. ep 7 abt to kill me next time i watch it on god
THEY DONT REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HER
adachis chara dev actually my fav thing on my planet for reallllll its insane how far hes come its incredible to see. and honestly for all that i relate to him it really makes me feel hopeful tbh...
HES CHANGED!!!!!!!!!! just repeating lines atp bc i have nothing to add but i must emphasize. Very Important
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO mama kurosawa i hope u get over ur fears entirely and then u and adachi can bond for the rest of time
"i believe your lives are yours to live" Yeah. Yeahhhhh yeah
OH MY GOODDD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (THE THIRD) (GONE RIGHT)
the growth from magic-dependent adachi in ep11....... Cries
this scene i saw already and yet. yet. . . Oh............... Wow.........
Hands.
The Bgm. normal about this . very
HANDS.
WHY WOULD THEY MUTE IT EVIL FUCKERS LET HIM SAY I LOVE YOU I NEED TO HEAR IT FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH
HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEARS IN MY EYES KUROSAWA TAKING THE FALL THSISI ISSO .. ..... GUYS
THEYRE SO HAPPY I CANT I LOVE THEMMM
intro parallel .....................
DORKS. WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE (counter: ???? still not enough times)
OH FUCK OH JESUS OH MU GDIIDJDJD
YES IVE SEEN THIS ALREADY. SEVERAL TIMES. YES IM STILL LOSING IT IMMENSELY . THANKS FOR ASKING!
complaint 3: why is adachis fucking wedding suit not fitting him right. huh
AGH. AGH. AAUAUSHHSJJJVJJKKE [taking emotional damage] HHRAAAHHAGGGFGHH
THE MUSICCCCC THE MUSIIIICCCCCCC THIS ISNT ALLLOWWEDDDDD
. BESTIES IM . ... ... ... OH MY GOD.................. I DONT HAVE WORDS ANYMORE. THATS IT.. ......
THE BOOK NO STOPPPPP DONT DO THIS TO ME IM SO WEAK
(i want that drawing by the way. as a painting. framed on my wall. for art purpose)
where is this location btw i would like to know of anyone has an idea
HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWINGING HANDS
well. ... .. .. im super normal after this. i swear (biggest lie told)
SHINOOONNNNNNNNN YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
if u guys havent read the lyrics to it yet please. please. they are insane.
its 3 am. no thoughts brain kurodachi. this was so worth the 7 months wait. i am filled with serotonin
i did not say anything coherent or deep at all but maybe ill make a discussion post later if i can get my thoughts in order
but first. when i get my hands on that hd rip i am going to make So many gifs u guys are gonna be sick of me i promise
anyways yeah um . .. ....... krdc will continue to be my personality for the rest of the year please look forward to it <3
ALSO . IF OTHER PPL HAVE ANY THOUGHTS THEY WANNA SHARE W ME PLS FEEL FREE id love to discuss (and/or scream in all AAAAAAs) the movie too :D
ok im going to sleep now good night
#cherry magic#cherry magic spoilers#my post#sorry. in my defense i warned u guys several times in advance#chuckles nervously. ha ha good thing for tumblrs read more function huh...............#ough ok i really need to sleep now but definitely rewatching soon. like in a couple hours after i wake up again probably#praying for hd rip by then perhaps
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s2 finale liveblog
good morning sluts i am so fucking scared
hes in his meditation era
"idk a wave or something" babygirl i love you
OH THE DADDY ISSUES
STOP SAYING SIMPLE
SSHSHSKSHDJS POOR BABYGIRL HE WANTS TO BE ADOPTED SO BAD
SWEETHEART WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IS HE BEING MUTINIED FROM FISHING 😭😭😭
YEAH THEY ARE DICKS TELL EM BB
ZHENG IS FINE SHES IN THE TRAILER FUCK YOU
"britain never shall be slaves" 🫤 interesting choice of words
PETES POOR BALD HEAD 😭
JACKIE LOOKS SO SAD 😭😭
RICKY YOU BITCH MY ENEMY FUCK YOU
YOUR NOSE?? YOU FREAK
EWW YOU BITCH I HATE YOU
ZHENG!!!!!
OH GOD SHES HAVING FLASHBACKS
OH THIS IS WHERE THAT SCENE IS FROM
AUNTIE CANT BE DEAD NOO 😭😭😭
ZHENG BB GET UP PLS
STEDE!!!!
"or is it?" loser i love you
ZHENG HELL YEAH!!!!!
her fixing her pigtails 😭 shes so cute
ED POOR SWEETIE
OH. OK.
hes already added a third daddy to have issues about what an icon
YEAHHHHHHHH LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO
SHUT UP RICKY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
lmaooo izzy coming into "well actually 🤓☝️"
PINOCCHIO 😭😭 WE LOVE A CALLBACK
IZZY STOP WITH THE CANDLES
"the brains of this operation" 🤮🤮🤮 U RACIST BITCH
IZZY LORE???
HEY JACKIE. WHATS THAT. JACKIE
THE SOLDIERS READING THE LETTER NO NO NO NO
SOOOOOOOBS
ED READING THE ROMANTIC LETTER WHILE MURDERING THESE BITCHES 😭😭 I LOVE YOU
GNOSSIENE REMIX???
"WE WROTE OUR NAMES ON EACH OTHER" SHUT UPPPPPP
SWEET BABY
"you wrote me a lovely letter!!! 😡" why is he mad now shskdhskd
stede practically tripping over his own feet is so funny
NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR OUR BEAUTIFUL ROMANTIC HERO TO STEP IN
YEAHHHHH
THE MUSICAL CALLBACK 😭😭😭😭
OH MY GOD ITS JUST LIKE HIS DREAM THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HEARTBREAKING AND STUPID AND LIFE SHATTERING
zheng being like "ok we need to hurry this up so you bitches can be gay" queen
THE LONG AWAITED FIGHTING TOWARDS EACH OTHER SCENE!!!!!!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAA
SWEETHEARTS 💕💕💕💕💕
KISSY!!!!!!!
"lifes a dick" real 😭
KISSY!!!!! THATS KISSY NUMBER FIVE NUMBER SIX IF YOU COUNT THE SECRET ONE
HE SAID IT!!!!!! HE SAID IT!!!!!!
bro hit him with the star wars reference 🫤
ZHENG 😭😭
wait has ed not met zheng??? i completely forgot
"shes super tough" "GUYSSSSS FUUUUUUUCK" i love her so much she is everything to me
"FOR LOOOOOVE" HAHAHAHA
"we need someone to pee on the shirt" hey im sorry what did i just walk into
AUNTIE!!!!!!!
"ive got plenty of blood" yeah i can see that
LMAOO THEM JUST CHILLING NEXT TO THE BODIES OF THE DEAD SOLDIERS
"oh you saw the flip ☺️" lmaooo
"i caught it 🥰" cuteeee
BABE!!!!!
"men have cost her too much" lore??? also me too bitch the fuck
"ur not a man" oh transgender? "ur soft" 🫤
"you dont do soft?? 😫" olu baby ily
izzy im scared for u pls stop taunting him
"because....." we're gay? "we're good" ok that works too
"you are a rancid syphilitic cunt 💅" iconic
"ooh theres a lot of them 🫤" stede saw his bf and forgot about strategy
OH SHIT SHE DID POISON THEM. WAIT FUCK WHO ELSE IS POISONED.
"is that us doing that" STEDE YOU DUMBASS 😭😭😭😭
wait theyre poison trained??? wtf 😭
"no!!!!! let me kill him 🥰" beautiful
bruh olu having to remind her to be nice 😭
"i am. proud. of you. 😐" so genuine 💞
ZHENG MY SWEETHEART MY SWEET GIRL
ASS SHOT?????? HELLO?????????
ok ur taking the outfits but who took the underwear too 😭😭
zheng lookin kinda 🥵🥵🥵
how are they all rocking this its a navy uniform its not supposed to look good
is frenchie wearing eyeliner hell yeah
ok yeah why did you trust ricky with that
DID. DID IZZY JUST GET SHOT. HELLO
why did olu grab that guy so intimately it looked like he was about to kiss him 😭
JIM IS JIM OK
OH GOD IZZYS ABOUT TO DIE ISNT HE. HES ABOUT TO BE WUZZY
OK AT LEAST JIM SEEMS FINE
OLU I LOVE YOU SILLY BOY
AUNTIE??????? NO NO NO
WHY IS LUCIUS RUNNING SO GAYLY 😭😭😭
izzys makeup he looks so close to death oh god
"SIT WITH ME EDDIE" FUUUUUUCK
"IM SORRY" GOD FINALLY
GOD HES FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGING IT. I CAN DIE IN PEACE. HOPEFULLY IZZY CAN TOO I GUESS
"it was us" FUCK FUXK FUCK FUXK FUCK FUUUUUCK
"i wanna go" OH MY GODDDDD
"youre my only family" "oh fuck off you twat" yeah thats the proper response 😭
"JUST BE ED" FUCKU FUXK FUCK FUXK
OH MY GOD. THE "THERE HE IS" PARALLEL. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.
OH MY FUCKING GOD HE FUCKIN DEAD
congratulations to con o neill for doing the most convincing dead eyes ive ever seen thats a bit terrifying
STEDE PLEEEEASE GO GET YOUR MAN DONT JUST STAND THERE
OH THEYRE BURYING HIM HES LIKE DEAD DEAD NO RISING FROM THE GRAVE FOR HIM
ROACH GIVING THE MIDDLE FINGER SHSKDHSKF
"he was a fucking nightmare what a guy" spitting straight facts
"i think wed be good together. kick a lotta ass" hell yeah wlw mlm solidarity
oh shit rickys still alive i forgot 😭
"shes said enough" HAHAHAHAHA
WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING WEDING YES YES YES YES
fang are u ok
ED........ THOSE EYES........
MATEYS!!!!!!!!!!
ok fang is not ok pls get this boy some therapy
"or kiss or something" 😭
CUTIES!!!!!!!! HUSBANDS!!!!!! MATEYS!!!!!!! CUTIES!!!!!!!!!
NINA SIMONE HELL YEA
WAIT IS FRENCHIE FIRST MATE FOR REAL NOW
OH SHIT JACKIES HERE TOO. FOUND FAMILY UNION!!!!
sugarballs????? 😭😭😭
WAIT ED AND STEDE STAYED BEHIND OH FUCK
INNKEEPERS!!!!!!!
OH MY GODDDDDDD
BUTTONS??????
frenchie skinny legend
wait who pissed on the towel
WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO FOR S3 IF THEYRE BEHIND THO. LIKE IM HAPPY FOR THEM BUT WHAT ABOUT S3
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Hello it’s selkie!janus anon.... ur tags made me think about things..,
Pls consider: Janus knew about virgil’s habit of leaving the ocean and just kinda silently disapproved. After Virgil disappears Janus becomes convinced he died (maybe he was following Virgil to make sure he was safe but saw him get attacked and was too far to help??? Or smthn idk). Janus blames himself for Virgil’s “death”, bc he couldn’t protect him/didn’t make him stop going to the surface/etc etc
On the one year anniversary of Virgil losing his skin both he and Janus go to the beach. Both bc they’re missing the other.
Virgil is walking with the other light sides, watching the ocean longingly. When he notices someone. A man, standing alone on the beach
The man looks up, and his yellow eyes meet Virgil’s. Virgil had never seen Janus in his human form, but he just /knows/ it’s him.
Virgil runs across the beach into Janus’s arms. Janus spins him around, elated and confused and maybe crying a little bit because this can’t be real
And then the other sides run up bc they’re confused why Virgil ran off to this random guy. Janus immediately goes into defensive mode, hiding Virgil behind him and not letting Virgil say anything bc he thinks Virgil is too naive and would say smthn that would put them in danger
Ofc without Virgil to explain that these are all his friends they end up having a very confusing and accusatory conversation. To the sides it looks like this random dude is lowkey kidnapping one of them, and Janus is just mega sus of everyone
Roman (kinda stupidly) refers to Virgil as “their selkie.” Generally they all kinda do that (like also calling Patton their djinn, etc) as a term of endearment and Roman is a little bit panicking that this random dude is going to just lowkey steal Virgil??? So he’s just like “hey get ur hands off our selkie”
Janus immediately goes ridged. He’s like “oh, so that’s how this is? Well how ‘bought this. I’ll give you my skin if you let him go free”
Obviously the other three are horrified (or deeply offended in Roman’s case). Virgil finally gets to cut in and explain like the actual situation
Cue adventure of them working to get Virgil’s skin back (though I have no clue how it’d work w/o fairy Janus) and the other sides trying to get along with Janus while still kinda resenting him since they don’t want him to take Virgil away forever
(Bonus: in the year before reuniting with Virgil Janus would randomly go to the surface bc it made him feel more connected to Virgil, even if he was “gone”. He’d never go anywhere near land, but he would go look at the stars in just like the middle of the ocean.
Remus has a boat and a tendency to go out in the middle of the water in the middle of the night bc he’s just like that and accidentally develops a friendship with Janus. (Well it’s more accidental on Janus’s part than Remus��s).
Asp in their journey to find Virgil’s skin Roman calls on his brother for help. Remus walks in and he and Janus basically do the Spider-Man meme like “ITS YOU”)
You anon just showed up with a bag of free serotonin right on my door step. I love that whole heartedly. Janus dragging Virgil behind him and then offering his own skin in exchange for Virgil’s? wonderful.
Also that bonus of Janus accidentally befriending some random guy-- remus-- but like HELL YEAH GIVE THAT FISH A FRIEND! And Then Janus and Remus doing the spiderman meme despite Janus having lived underwater his whole like-- thats funny. I’m cackling.
(Check out the og ending of Weightless here!)
[check out actual Weightless here!]
#greengabs#monster AU#weightless au#selkie janus#HEY THESE FISH ARE GAY AND YOU CANT STOP THEM#I say once again#making Janus a self sacrificing character#boy for the embodiment of self preservation#Janus tends to throw himself into the line of fire an awful lot in my fics
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Every single odd number has an “e” in it.
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boys keep swinging (request)
AN: This was a request from my Archive account! Thank you so much @ bambi steve who requested “Drarry AU where Harry is a rock star and Draco is an instagram model.
I decided to post it on here, since a lot of people seem to love Drarry. This is my first time writing for this ship so forgive me if they seem OOC or weird.
Title is reference to a David Bowie song.
Word Count: 935
"Great show, guys!" Harry grinned at his band, cheeks flushed from adrenaline. Backstage, they were all sweaty from the performance, makeup completely wiped off during the run. But they were pleased, still hearing their crowds of fans screaming from behind the curtains. It was a joy performing, hearing their names being cheered on by thousands of adoring- mostly teenagers but some young adults.
Harry's wild black hair was tied up in an electric blue bandanna and his outfit was casual ripped trousers and a tank top. His other band members had similar attire.
The Golden Trio was an indie group, a band that everyone seemed to have heard of, since their music was played constantly. Harry was lead singer and played bass, Hermione sang backup and played electric guitar, and Ron was the drummer.
"It wasn't bad, eh?" Ron smirked proudly. His flaming red hair was soaked with sweat, exhausted but happy.
"You were significantly off beat during the final chorus." Hermione said, removing her electric guitar and placing it snug in its case.
"Well you were a bit pitchy!" Ron retorted.
She scoffed. "You know I wasn't."
Ron and Hermione had an odd relationship. Rivals but also best friends. Constantly at each other's throats but still hugging after every show- while Harry just watched awkwardly.
"Guys," Harry stopped their bickering, already irritated. "Cut it out."
Ron shot Hermione one last glare which she promptly replied with a silent scowl.
"All right Harry?" Luna, their manager greeted as she opened the door. She smiled dreamily. "There are screaming fans outside. Something about a meet n' greet with you all. "
"Ah yes, my adoring fans." Ron joked, nudging Harry with his elbow. Hermione simply rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, piss off." Harry chuckled. "C'mon, you lot."
They cheerfully exited the stage door. As Luna had said, there was a large clump of fans behind a rope, chattering amongst themselves and then shrieking as Harry, Ron and Hermione entered.
They were used to this of course, so each of them broke off and started to sign posters, cards, artwork, and in Ron's case an old fish and chips bag. (The girl in question apparently forgot to bring her poster.)
Harry signed a few posters, taking time to speak with as many individuals as possible. He loved his fame, loved his fans and the glory that came with it but he also loved connecting with people. He stopped for the next fan, a young man who was significantly taller than he was.
"Hi there!" He said, not really paying attention. "What can I sign for..." He paused, eyes focusing on the man in question. "...you...?" A light bulb went off in his head, at last registering who he was.
He was tall and slender, with a pointed face and pronounced cheek bones. He was ghostly pale, but his cheeks were rosy and flushed, no doubt from the crowds of people. His hair was unbelievably blonde, nearly white as snow.
Dear God. He knew this man.
Harry's voice caught in his throat. Draco Fucking Malfoy. Only the fittest bloke on Instagram. Memories flashed of mindlessly scrolling, liking a particularly attractive picture of the model posing in a tight swimsuit, golden hair slicked back, his well defined muscles exposed as he had a serene, flirtatious expression.
And now he's standing right in front of him.
Gay thoughts off, Potter. He's wearing clothes now at least. So what if he's a fan? Pretend you don't know him.
"Hey! Hi..." Draco said easily. "This poster, if you could? I'm a huge fan."
"Yeah...me too." Harry uttered, eyes locked on Draco's silver eyes. "I mean not a fan of me, obviously. That would be really narcissistic." He chuckled awkwardly. "No I meant...well..."
Draco laughed. "Tongue twisted a bit there, Potter?" He handed the poster towards him. Their fingertips brushed together briefly.
He blushed, mortified. "No, erm, um I think I've seen your instagram. You're Draco Malfoy, right?"
Stunned, Draco's eyebrows raised up. "Yes, I am. You've...seen my instagram? Are you serious?"
Harry nodded quickly. "I absolutely love it!"
"You're kidding. That's ...mental. That's amazing. Thank you." His eyes were twinkling.
"No problem." Harry said lamely, handing back the poster. "Thanks for coming!"
He ducked away, signing the next few posters and hoping Draco wouldn't notice him scurry off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's now or never.
His thumb was hovering over Draco's profile, debating on hitting the message icon. Would that be too odd? Most likely.
He stared at the bright screen, nibbling at his lip. If he didn't do it, he would surely regret it. So he tapped it twice.
[Hey! Thanks for coming to the show tonight, loved meeting you.]
And sent.
He put his phone down, waiting. A few minutes passed.
Seen 12:32am.
Damn. Maybe it was weird. He'd be surprised if Draco hadn't replied. Maybe the orange heart emoji was too forward.
Bzzzt!
He jolted awake with a loud snort, not recalling when he dozed off. His phone had buzzed. He picked it up, placed his glasses on and opened the message.
[Sorry I didn't respond I was freaking out in my flat and annoying my roommate with my shouting. Hi! Omg! I cant believe ur texting me rn!!!]
Harry smiled softly.
Another message from Draco. [I lvoed it so much, I cant belive im met uou!!]
[I'm so happy to hear that! I really enjoyed meeting you and I was wondering if we could perhaps meet for coffee?]
[ongjfjdjdjdjs YES!!! I mean yeah that sounds fantastic!]
Harry grinned, thinking of Draco as he drifted back to sleep.
#drarry#draco malfoy#harry potter#fluff#rockstar au#instagram star au#muggle au#hermione granger#ron weasley#luna lovegood#first time writing drarry#char writing requests#writing request
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Control and Release - 25
Series Masterlist
TEDTalk!Sam x Reader
Summary: After the rest of the staff is caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester. As the arrangement becomes more defined, you and Sam begin a sexual adventure with dangerous consequences.
Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, nipple clamps, dub-con, breath play.
Beta: @ilikaicalie
Words: 3.3k
Parts 26, 27, 28 & 29 are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories, including the ABO series Gods of Twilight and Patreon exclusive content. >> CLICK HERE <<
-
“Ready?” Lexi waits for confirmation before picking up a shot of tequila and tipping it back. You both gulp down your respective drinks and suck on limes in tandem as Tim pounds on the bar enthusiastically. You shake your head, puckering at the after taste and shouting a little hoot.
“Fuck, I’m too Goddamn old for tequila shots,” you laugh.
“Come on, meemaw.” Lexi laughs throwing an arm over your shoulders. “You gotta live a little.”
“She’s right.” Leaning in, Tim tips back a swig of cognac. “Life is short, we all need to let go a lot more.”
“Yes, yes we do,” Millie chimes in, throwing back her chardonnay.
“I’m trying.” You watch them, the crowd milling around the bar on a weeknight.
This started out as a Tuesday night survivor support group, but over several months it’s evolved into a much-needed space to blow off steam. Last week it was an evening at the arboretum at Harvard University, tonight it’s shots and gossip at a local dive bar.
“Are you coming back to work?” you ask Tim.
“Yeah. Soon I think, Winchester said I could take another six months if I wanted, but my therapist thinks I’m ready. Who am I to argue with a trained professional.” He taps the rim of his glass and the bartender refills it.
“Hey, as long as you’re ready we’re happy to have you back.” Millie smiles, inching a little closer. You suspect she likes Tim, she won’t come out and admit it but she finds a way to bring him up in nearly every conversation.
If it wasn’t for a limp on his right side, no one would ever know he’d been shot. But there was nerve damage that will most likely never be corrected so he’s stuck with a permanent reminder.
“I don’t think I can spend any more time in my apartment without going crazy. Trauma or not, all this paid time off has been incredible.” Tim’s forever positive. He can see the bright side of anything.
“Me too,” Millie throws up a fist in solidarity. “I can’t believe you went back so soon.” She looks at you.
“Working helps me keep my mind off things. I was glad to go back. And I like the new building.”
“And the new office,” Millie grins, elbowing you. “She’s a hotshot now.”
“I’ll have to go check it out,” Tim confirms. “And the new boss, how’s he?”
“Honestly? A dream,” you gush, always happy to talk about your new position. “After working for Pepper I had this distorted image of a healthy work-life balance, but Cole is awesome.”
“He’s not bad to look at either,” Lexi pipes up, fishing a cherry from the bottom of her empty glass.
“He’s all yours.” You wiggle your eyebrows at her. “I’m just happy he’s not a psychopath. Speaking of which, any idea when Pepper is coming back?”
“No, and we’re not in a hurry,” Lexi snorts, rolling her eyes. “Life is so much easier without her.”
“Easier but painfully unorganized,” Millie explains. “She’s a bitch but I don’t think we realized how much she truly did until she was gone. To be honest, the whole department is a hot mess right now. We’ve got associates with three assistants assigned to them and associates without anyone.”
“Give and take with everything, I suppose.” Checking your watch you frown when you realize it’s nearly ten. You have to work early tomorrow and time flies whenever you’re with these three.
“Did you read about Winchester?” Tim sing-songs like he’s about to dish out a juicy piece of gossip. “Any idea who the mystery girlfriend is?”
Your cheeks bloom bright red, trying to act natural.
“Please,” Lexi looks disgusted, still raw that he turned her down. Not that it’s stopped her from hinting at the fact that they had some sort of tawdry affair. “I feel bad for whoever it is.”
“Why?” Millie scoffs. “He’s super-rich, he can get whatever he wants. I know women who put up with a lot more for a lot less. And we don’t even know that it’s a woman. Maybe he’s gay. You never know.”
“No way,” Tim shakes his head no. “I guarantee you it’s some model or actress. The guy has Leonardo DiCaprio syndrome.”
“What does that mean?” you ask.
“You know, only dates women fifteen years younger than him that look good in bikinis.”
“Don’t you think,” you start, turning your chair to face him. “That if he was really that much a playboy someone would have found out by now?”
“He came on to me,” Lexi inserts her made-up encounter.
“See,” Tim gestures toward her.
You sigh, trying to contain your amusement at the speculation. Lexi’s wild tales don’t even bother you anymore, you see her for what she is. Mindless and starving for attention.
“I think it’s someone at W & S.” Millie finishes her drink. “The guy works all the time, when would he even have time to meet someone? Watch, one day we’ll find it’s Pepper or that redhead from human resources that looks like a Victoria Secret model.”
“Maybe we’ll find out someday, maybe not.” You tip back the rest of your vodka and cranberry and dig through your purse for cash. “I gotta go to bed.”
“Me too,” Millie pats your shoulder “We can share an Uber.”
“I got you.” Tim lays a hundred on the counter. “I’m happy to pick up the tab for tonight. I look forward to Tuesday’s all week. You guys keep me sane.”
“You are seriously the best,” you give him a quick hug and turn to Lexi, kissing her on the cheek. “See you later.”
-
You’re completely lost in a YouTube video about the migratory patterns of whales when there’s a knock at your office door. Before you have the chance to shut down the browser the door opens and Sam slips inside.
“Hey,” you light up. “What are you doing here?”
“You weren’t answering your phone, which usually means you’re working.” He points toward the computer screen. “Or not.”
“I went down the youtube rabbit hole.” You laugh, shaking your head. “I swear, this whole thing started with five tips on how to work with difficult people and…” you glance at the clock, shocked that it’s nearly midnight. “And three hours later I’m here, learning about baleen whales and infrasound.”
“Is that really why you’re here so late?” He perches on the edge of your desk, fingering a pen.
“Honestly, I didn’t realize it was this late. Time got away from me.” You watch him examine your office, taking in all the details before refocusing on you. “Did we have plans tonight?”
“No,” he rests a hand on his thigh. “But I was thinking about dropping by your place. Taking you up on that offer for frozen pizza.”
Checking your phone you find a missed text and phone call. “Shit, I would really have enjoyed that. It’s too late now, huh?”
“Probably.” He tilts his head, eyes dropping from your mouth to your neck, then lower. “I’ll take a raincheck.”
“You know,” rocking back the chair, you bite your bottom lip playfully. “This look you’re giving me right now is exactly what Cole was talking about.”
“What look is that?” There’s a trace of a smile, his eyes narrowing at the suggestion of impropriety.
“Like I’m little red riding hood and you’re the wolf.” You toe off one shoe, then the other before standing, and sauntering closer to him. “Should we be alone together? I’m not sure I can trust you.”
“That’s a good point,” he grins, standing up himself and placing both hands on your hips. “I came to your office late at night when no one else is around. I closed the door. Predatory behavior.”
Sam pushes you backward until your butt is against the edge of the desk and he’s looming above you.
You blink twice, eyes going wide in mock innocence. “Is there something I can help you with Mr. Winchester?”
He’s not always in a playful mood, but tonight finds you both in exactly the right time and place to have a bit of fun. Sam’s fingers squeeze tighter, curling into the flesh of your side and then releases his hold, standing close enough you can practically feel his body heat.
“I’m not entirely convinced this is the job for you,” he sighs, giving you a dismissive shake of his head. “Not sure you really want this position.”
“Oh, I want it,” you whisper chin tipped upward as you stare at him dewy-eyed. “What can I do to show you how serious I am?”
“I have a few ideas,” he offers, honing in on your parted lips as he licks his own. “You may have to work for it.”
“I’d do anything. Please, give me a chance.” You’re already breathless as his fingers caress the skin on the outside of your thigh, just above your knee. “Tell me what I need to do?”
“Spread your legs for me.” He tips his head to the side, watching your carefully curated shocked expression.
“Mr. Winchester,” you gasp, mouth falling open in faux horror as your knees open wide, skirt riding up your thighs. “We can’t…”
“Then tell me to stop,” he raises one eyebrow, hand sliding up the side of your leg and disappearing under your skirt. You lock eyes as he swirls the pads of his finger at tender flesh near your heat, so teasingly close that a moan falls out of your mouth before he ever really touches you.
“You have to stop,” you whimper, looking him dead in the eyes, spreading your thighs further and canting your hips toward his hand. “This is wrong.” You wiggle closer to his elusive touch. “I’ll tell someone, I’ll turn you in.”
“You think anyone would believe you?” He taunts while his thumb grazes downward, just the tip slipping between the lips of your bare cunt. He sinks an inch into your slick before sliding upward to find the throbbing bud. “What would you tell them? You were this wet but you didn’t want it?”
“Fuck,” you hiss, long and low. Your eyes screw shut as he flicks up and down over your clit, two fingers stroking into trembling flesh. He plays with soft, long strokes before finally sinking his fingers into your pussy, twisting them all the way in up to his knuckles. “Oh, God.”
Your head falls lax, hands reaching backward for anything to grab onto as a framed photo of your parents tumbles to the floor.
“You said you’d do anything to keep your job,” he leans over you, whispering hot breath at the shell of your ear. “Did you mean it?”
“Yes,” you whine, nodding emphatically as his fingers thrust in and out of your cunt, the wet, squelching sound bouncing off the walls. “Anything.”
“Will you take my cock...here?” He grunts, hooking his fingers inside and you see stars, legs trembling at the overwhelming pleasure. “Let me cum inside you?”
“Yes!” This confirmation is met with the withdrawal of his hand from between your legs. The disappointment is short-lived as he spins you around, bending you over the desk and hiking your skirt up over your ass.
“Say please,” he insists, his hand coming down on your right cheek with a smack.
“Please, I’ll do anything!” Wiggling your stinging backside there's the zip of his pants and the rustle of clothes before the head of his cock is at your entrance. Looking forward you can see the garbled reflection of the two of you in the glass of a painting on your wall. While you haven’t exactly pre-planned this little escapade, your fantasies are generally in line with each other, so you add in a few elements that really get you worked up. “You’re not going to put on a condom?”
The question gives him pause, the suggestion settling in as he notches the head into your throbbing channel. The idea of being forced, or in this case coerced, into a man cumming inside you is something you’ve shared with him but it’s not yet worked its way into the bedroom.
“If you want to keep your job, you’ll shut up and open this sweet little cunt.” His hand twists into your hair as he slides deep, not stopping until you feel his hips at your backside. “There you go, just like that. You like the way my cock feels, don’t you?”
“It’s so deep,” you pant, the side of your face pressed into some report from earlier in the afternoon.
“Now,” he slaps your ass as he pulls out and thrusts back inside. He repeats the motion with another whack that pulls a moan out of your throat. “I want you to tell me how much you want it. Say please Mr. Winchester, cum in my pussy.”
“I can’t,” you put up a show. “You can’t-”
He yanks your hair back, pulling your face off the desk as he drills into your cunt. “Say it.”
“Please!” you cry out, hands digging into the hardwood of the desk. “Please Mr. Winchester, please cum in my pussy.”
“Again,” he grits, fucking you hard and fast.
“Please cum in my pussy. Please, I want it so bad.”
“I know you do.” He purrs, using his free hand to press down on your lower back, keeping you in place as his pace grows faster still, hammering into you.
You're close to orgasm, the way he has you bent over the desk means your clit is rubbing over the surface, creating perfect friction. You pant and moan, body winding up for the release as the fantasy culminates in his cock stroking hard and deep with every thrust of his hips.
“Can I cum, Mr. Wincester!” You hold back waiting for permission.
“No,” he spits out, the hand on your back wrapping around your throat. “Don’t you dare, don’t you dare even think about it.”
“Shit,” you sputter, sending your mind somewhere else. It’s the only way to hold back when you're teetering on the edge. You hope he’ll cum soon because you can’t hold out much longer and right on cue he grinds forward, pressing into your thighs with all his weight as he cums. Breathing hot and heavy, he slowly pulls out, sending a gush of his wet and warm release down your thighs.
But Sam’s not done yet.
“Turn around,” he commands.
Standing on shaking legs you turn to face him. He tucks his shiny dick back into his underwear and gets his clothes back in place as you stand there with his seed dripping from your sex.
“You almost came, didn’t you?” He snakes closer, a hand threading back into your hair to hold you in place. “I could feel it, feel how tight your pussy got at the end.”
“Yes,” you nod, looking up at him as his hand snakes back between your legs.
“I guess I’ll let you keep your job.” A villainous grin tugs at the corners of his mouth and your entire body responds, shaking with desire. “But I have to be sure you’ll never tell anyone.”
“I won’t,” you promise.
“I have to be sure. And do you know how I do that?” He asks and you shake your head, no. “I’m sure you wouldn’t want to recount how wet you were. How you asked me to cum inside you. Only someone who was willing would ask for that. But you’re going to ask me something else, too.”
“What?” You’re practically vibrating with anticipation.
“Say, I want to taste you.”
You blink, getting a vague idea of where this is going.
“I want to taste you,” you repeat quietly.
“Please stick your fingers in my pussy.”
Oh fuck.
“Please stick your fingers in my pussy...so I can have them in my mouth.” You add the last part and before it even leaves your mouth Sam is nodding in approval.
“Good girl,” he praises. His index and middle finger slip easily into your used cunt, twirling and bending until he’s coated in a mix of your arousal and his seed. “Open up.”
You dutifully let your mouth fall open as he slides his finger over your tongue.
“Open your eyes and look at me.” He instructs. You look up, watching as he moves his fingers back and forth over your tongue. “Now suck.”
You whimper, empty pussy clenching around nothing as you suck the spiced taste of your sex off him. After a few minutes of massaging your tongue, he removes his hand only to have his fingers wiggle back into your pussy, pressing inside as far as he can get.
“Now, you’re going to show me just how much of a whore you really are,” he explains calmly, pumping in and out of your slit. “Open your mouth again.”
You open up and this time his wet, warm fingers stroke over your tongue a couple of times before wiggling further, toward the back of your throat. You gag and he tsks, stilling his hand until you compose yourself and then pressing further and further until you’re practically choking on his knuckles.
Out of nowhere, his other hand is between your legs, finding your clit and pinching the delicate nub with enough force to make you gasp, his finger sliding even deeper. He rubs your clit a few times before you cum, gargling and moaning around his fingers and fighting to stay upright. Your cunt clenches, eyes watering, entire body experiencing the incredible pleasure, wave after wave of sweet relief.
“Fuck,” Sam whispers, slowly withdrawing his hand from your mouth. He wipes off his fingers on your cheek as you gasp for a full breath, still twitching from the release. He watches you trembling, letting out a little chuckle designed to stoke all levels of sexual humiliation that you know and love so well. “You just came gagging on the taste of your own cunt. No one would ever believe you didn’t want this.”
You’re breathless, entire body flushed from the power of the orgasm and now his taunting little speech. God, you wish it was a weekend so you could go home and ride him into the mattress.
“Thank you,” your voice wavers. “Thank you for allowing me the chance to show you how grateful I am for this job...Mr. Winchester.”
“I have a feeling you’ll continue to work hard for me.” He smiles, leaning down to kiss your lips.
“Really, thank you. This was incredible.” You grin against his mouth. “This could become a whole fantasy for me.”
“Me too.”
He watches you clean yourself up, throwing used Kleenex into the trash before pulling yourself together enough to make the walk out of the building.
“I’ll drop you off,” he offers as you gather up your laptop and bag. “Or you could just come over. It’s late, that might make the most sense.”
“I’d love a ride but I can’t come over. I do need to go home tonight,” you explain. “I have a new dress I want to wear for the presentation tomorrow and I need to clean my kitchen. Maybe you could come over tomorrow? I’d like you to see my place.”
“I’d like that.”
Sam waits as you turn off the lights and lock up, then escorts you toward the elevators, both of you blissfully unaware of Cole watching through the cracked door of his darkened office.
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my favourite things kpop boys have said:
eric: a long time ago i dressed up as a princess but now i want to dress up as-
kevin: a prince?
eric: no, geodude from pokémon
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kevin: i don’t know what a het is
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20 seconds of silence
jisung (skz): gay!
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kevin: van gogh was found wigless and shook in his grave, thank you for that narrative.
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mark lee: i feel like the possibility of those possibilities being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen
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johnny: i was thinking we could also go for like frozen yogurt
mark completely changing the tone straight faced: oh i’m not a yogurt fan, i can’t eat yogurt
johnny: no it’s like ICEcream
mark: i know
johnny: ok nevermind
-
mark lee to a random person : excuse me do you know this song “party on the city where the heat is on all night in the beach where the beat is on, welcome to miami”
the person:
mark lee: i’m sorry ok
*later*
mark lee: hey do you guys know this song-
-
mark lee: wow this country music is making this texas feel more like texas, even more like texas
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mark lee: my fingers aren’t mine
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jaemin: then i’m jin ramyum
dream: oiiiiii
renjun: i feel like dying
dream:
renjun: what’s wrong?
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mark lee to a squirrel: check this out hey buddy aw come on man waaeyay
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mark: woah it’s actually different from santa monica beach because i always thought that all beaches were the same and it actually isn’t
johnny: that’s horrible how you think that
mark: i mean like in a way you know it’s just like water and a shore and then sand but now it’s different
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renjun: in the case that this works out for me, i am going to go to the moon. i don’t want to live on this earth.
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ten: *does a cute thing then looks at renjun* why are you looking at your hyung like that?
renjun: i’m scared
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doni: can you do something like jeno did?
renjun: i don’t really understand korean that well
doni: suddenly? chenle, is there anything you can do?
chenle: i don’t understand...
*renjun and chenle high five*
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renjun: i have an animal that i’m afraid of and i don’t have plans on revealing what it is
johnny: why? what animal is it
jeno: tell us!
renjun: it’s humans
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renjun on weekly idol: i’m confident in korean
renjun anytime he doesn’t want to answer something: i’m not good at korean
renjun fluent in korean: korean is hard for me! :)
mr fluent in korean speaking in korean: i can’t speak korean though?
renjun to dream who know he’s fluent: i’m bad a korean you know
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mark: we gathered up together in the early morning it’s nice
renjun: as we’ve been together since early in the morning, i’m tired of being together now
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renjun: emergency exits remind me of nctzens
jeno: *spitting out his water*
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renjun: today though such a fun program like idol room, i learned that the world is a cold and unfair place
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mark: there’s so much generation difference between us
renjun pushing mark away: let’s keep our distance then
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renjun: i wonder what it’ll be like when i become an adult, im worried i feel like i’ll have to be more responsible, but seeing mark.. there isn’t much to it, i mean he can drink now but that’s about it
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yukhei: you see i’m born in the 80s so i don’t know about slang
renjun pointing to kun: what about that guy over there?
kun: *ready to murder*
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sicheng: the scene where i appear-
renjun: YOU IMMEDIATELY DISAPPEAR
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renjun to jeno: because you are even less fun than usual i am giving you this award
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renjun: we’re so boring so fans must be pressing all the hearts out of boredom
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renjun: so if i don’t win i have to pair up with the mc?
mc: yes
renjun: i should pull myself together then
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mc: why are you so good at korean?
renjun: i’m not good at korean
doni: *grabs renjun because he’s a lying brat*
renjun: *happily showing the camera he is being attacked* why aren’t you fixing my clothes?
doni: *fixing renjuns shirt because he’s a king and it’s what he deserves*
-
renjun after losing every game: this is like we’re in a movie maybe there will be a big plot twist at the end
doni: there won’t
renjun: as expected from a biased pair of people
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renjun and chenle talking
jisung: what are you guys saying?
renjun: if you want to know learn the language
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mark: do we get a prize?
mc: we have an expensive gift prepared
renjun: now it’s worth doing!
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chenle: wow my chinese is so good
renjun: nice! did you forget you’re chinese?
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i cant remember who said this probably renjun: i think nct dream, you can say we are kind of a fun team, but when i look at the hyung team i feel frustrated, please gain strength hyungs
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mark: ive been wearing the shoes renjun made, they’re very comfortable
renjun: i didnt make them comfortable i just drew on them
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renjun: a spoiler? what if i get fired from the company?
donghyuck: get fired? us? get fired? lmao
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kevin: jacob i’ve been waiting forever for this moment
jacob: waiting for what? waiting for me?
kevin: honey i see you everyday
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jacob: the scent of autumn, the scent of leaves
kevin: we’re indoors but okay
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kevin: kid, mama’s gotta dance
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renjun: *speaks in chinese*
jeno: wow you are so good at chinese, did u study it a lot?
renjun: yes
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ten: oh this is not icecream this is butter
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johnny: there’s this thing too where girls call guys as “oh daddy” but not like a real dad
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tens birthday note to johnny: i wanna have xxxx with you fatass! love you forever darling
mark: i don’t think we should read that
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donghyuck: a six-pack is too heavy for me, so now i only walk around with a one-pack. i leave the other five behind.
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nct: goodnight
mark: don’t let the bed bugs bite
ten: open your eyes
nct: NO CLOSE YOUR EYES! CLOSE YOUR EYES!
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johnny: my dad knew i likes beans so like he was playing with beans, and he dropped it and then he dropped it on a rock and it slid and then hot water started falling, and then coffee
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host: wow your english is really good
johnny: i’m from chicago
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johnny: i chose fried mackerel, mackarol, mackarel, the fish, mackerol, mackerel, mackarel *cute shrug*
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jungwoo: trip to space
johnny: you wanna go home?
mark: that’s where he came from
jungwoo: my friends are there
mark: that’s his home town
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jacob: i cant compare to him so-
kevin: it’s okay jacob everyone’s an artist in their own way
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kevin: fun fact i used to do gymnastics
jacob: SAME
kevin: oh really!!
jacob: and then i quit :)
-
chenle: talking to reporters-
jisung: harry potter
jisung in excitement: ha-REPORTER
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kevin in distress: jacob you have no beyoncé in your library, what is this? WHAT IS THIS!?
jacob: no i respect her i love her music
kevin making a scissor motion with his hands: you know what this is? scissors. to cut our friendship.
jacob: why are you exposing me like that
kevin: i’m just kidding, if beyoncé can forgive jayz i can forgive you jacob”
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kevin: jacob came back from canada with a suitcase full of cereal
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donghyuck: oh canada, this is korea man don’t forget okay.
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mark lee: wait chips means fries right?
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kevin: sam if you’re out there i’m still waiting for you to *cough* TEXT ME BACK
-
jacob: and jeff i love you
tbz: awww
kevin: mY nAmE jEfF
-
chenle pointing at a roller coaster: do you wanna ride?
jisung: hell no i’ll die
-
chenle: jisung which sunglasses are better these or the other ones
jisung: both are mediocre
-
doyoung: that’s a difficult question because i don’t read
-
fan: comments something about renjun stealing their heart
renjun: i don’t know how to react to these types of comments... why are you all like this? everyone let’s self reflect...
-
renjun: pretend we’re close in front of the camera
donghyuck: we’re supposed to be close friends right? this is going to be hard 
-
ten: xiaojun stop being dramatic challenge
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taemin from shinee: *singing replay by shinee*
yukhei: that’s not it
yukhei *showing taemin from shinee how to sing a shinee song*
mark: *dying in the background*
-
bambam talking about got7’s first album: you know the time we thought we was so cool, we was so good, but then we look back and it’s like what the hell
-
jae: would you rather wake up in someone’s body or wake up without being able to communicate?
brian: i’d rather not communicate
jae: then you can’t sing
brian: i’m fine with that, my parents gifted me this body
day6: ??? the fuck ???
sungjin: what if you wake up in JYPs body one day?
day6:
day6: what about it. i love it. that’s would be lovely
jae: we love you boss 👍
-
jae: what would you forget?
dowoon: i ate some ants as a kid
wonpil: i ate pill bugs
sungjin: i ate soap
wonpil: everyone’s eaten soap, what about crayons?
jae: crayons???
wonpil: they looked delicious when i was a kid
brian: i’ve eaten them
sungjin: they must’ve tasted good
-
dowoon: *stuffing marshmallows in his mouth*
brian: no you can do more STOP CHEWING PUT IT IN
dowoon muffled: i think i’m going to die
brian: you think you’re going to die??
brian smiling: sorry he might die , he might choke to death
jae: *reaching over to stuff more marshmallows in dowoons mouth*
-
brian gets a dare to sing everything he says: dare or dare~
dowoon: oooowwooo~
brian: this is my dare don’t take it from me~
-
q: can you name my bird
renjun: ...if i say to name it “bird” will u want to hit me
#this was not meant to post#im screaming#i hate tumblr sm#if im editing something in my drafts shouldnt the button say save to draft not post?#it always had before#@ tumblr stop updating to make your app worse#im tired#and i hate it here#im deleting this app#i cant take it anymore
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hey guys sorry about the couple of days i wasn’t posting!! this thing took a little longer than i thought--
but yeah! i’ve seen other artists draw their own interpretations of all the incarnations of Links, and i finally decided to draw the versions i’ve made up together with a friend of mine all in one place! get a load of these fools
tumblr wouldn’t let me post these in rows without them getting super blurry so there’s gonna be closeups, headcanons, etc under the cut
Time (Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask):
- post-majora’s mask but he still has the scars from oot(dont ask me how idk either)
- Really Fucked up. Very Strange Grandpa
- despite actually having had the years to grow up this time he still acts like a kid
- idk i can’t really describe him but he’s just been through so much stress his only remaining emotion is essentially just “:)”
- he’s gone back to hyrule and is just kinda wandering around he got those two shoulder pads as a gift and they’re based off of the ones he has as a ghost
- the gauntlets are redesigned golden gauntlets only because i forgot what they looked like
- he’s missing his right eye from a wolfos and lost his finger when Ganon slapped his sword out of his hand also he has goron tattoos on his shoulders
- headcanon that he’s Zelda’s twin brother but they just never were told about it
Sky (Skyward Sword):
- he’s got Sleepy Bitch Disease
- just wants to rest...... please let him Sleep For Once
- he gets very snappy and Rude, especially when he’s tired but he’s pretty patient and sweet around people he’s fond of
- headcanon that he has some form of asthma(because in game hes like constantly gasping for air)
- after the events of his game hes just Tuckered Out and just wants to sleep for the rest of his life
- i didn’t really give him any redesigns, just let him keep his skyloft outfit
- his scars are from demise and ghirahim(jerks)
Twi (Twilight Princess):
- COUNTRY BOYYYY I LOVE YOUU
- furry boy go awooo
- amazing with animals and kids but doesn’t really cope too well in social situations because he gets Nervous
- GAY. I WONT ACCEPT ANY OTHER ANSWER
- headcanon that he’s the direct descendant of Time
- goes back to his Farming Ways after the War and just chills with the rest of Ordon village
- most of his scars are from those stupid Ghost Rats but he also has some others from Ganondorf
Wild (Breath of the Wild):
- ‘scuse me everyone certified ROWDY BOY comin through
- he seems very normal from a distance but as soon as you get close to him you will realize that you just found a Raccoon
- *sees anything* oh! yum!
- really, really loves cooking and is actually really good at it even if his ingredients come from questionable locations
- headcanon that along with every other memory he lost, he also forgot most of what was pressuring him before his Death and is now completely unhinged and will not stop for anyones social standards
- he has a couple scars from being blasted by guardians but honestly most of his other ones are because he just really loves rolling down mountainsides
Warrior (Hyrule Warriors):
- hh,,, Anxious boy :(
- he just really wants approval and he damn well deserves it
- when he first got appointed as the hero of whatever and got the master sword he was honestly starting to get a bit cocky
- but then Cia Promptly ripped all of that confidence and Rude Boy Behaviour out of him and he became :( again
- he could speak beforehand but he got an injury during the battles and is now rendered practically mute
- has a couple major scars underneath his scarf/tunic but he managed to keep his face mostly unscathed somehow
Albi (A Link Between Worlds/Tri Force Heroes):
- Shy,,,, doesnt like Attention
- honestly just wants to be left alone but since he’ss the hero of whatever people just Gave Him Too Much Love
- broke down and is now Fashionable
- sometimes likes to sew or paint
- headcanon that he’s colourblind(tritanopia)
- those little marks on his skin are little “wall cracks” from merging too often
- has a few scars but no important ones tbh
Minish (The Minish Cap):
- small and Super Mad About It
- he’s extremely quiet and only really ever talks if he’s mad or asked a question
- and even then he says as few words as he can possibly muster
- really dedicated blacksmith and is pretty good at his job despite his age
- still hangs out with Zelda a whole lot theyre still Best Friends
- the scar is from his fight with Vaati and he got an undershirt with a collar to hide it a bit because he feels a bit self conscious about it :(
Engi (Spirit Tracks):
- BABY BOY. BABY
- fuckin LOVES trains. he would Probably Die without them. still an engineer
- completely polite and sweet, calls you sir and stutters a whole lot
- also likes to fidget when he doesn’t have anything to do with his hands
- secretly completely RIPPED and could probably break you in half if he just weren’t such a sweetheart
- missing tooth from Byrne smacking him in the face with his Metal Hand and constantly has scratches but thats just cuz hes clumsy
- headcanon that he’s the grandson of Wind
- another headcanon that he can see ghosts since he was the only one who could see Zelda when she got absolutely annihilated
Wind (The Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass):
- SHIP AHOY BITCHES
- absolutely Stupid. goddamn Fool, complete and utter buffoon
- tends to be a bit direct and a little too honest but as i said before. complete Dumbass
- ADORES to tease and poke fun as long as no one gets hurt
- swears like a sailor and IS a sailor. Its All Connected
- has a crooked nose because SOMEONE launched him at a wall that one time. Also from that explosion that launched him into that other wall that other time
- all his little jewelry things are treasures he found along the way
Alti (A Link To The Past/Oracle of Seasons/Ages/Link’s Awakening):
- oof this boi has been through So Much
- just so tired of this shit.......... wants a break already
- has pink hair because nintendo cant convince me otherwise and also has black roots because that’s his hair colour in the gameboy games
- still misses everyone from the wind fish’s dream :( also idk know if he ever came back from the ocean tbh
- honestly i know jack shit about any of his games so,,, sorry my boy
Classic (The Legend of Zelda/The Adventure of Link):
- the boy who started it all!!! god i love him so
- honestly don’t really know much about him either,,, and honestly i dont think there is a lot to know the classic games are pretty plotless
- but i like to imagine he’s like every Good Protagonist trope but none of the other links appreciate it a whole lot
- “dont worry guys i believe we can do this! :)” cut to the whole group throwing trash at him
- also gave him sectoral heterochromia to match the way his eyes look in the first game’s sprites
#oh boy tagging time#link#the legend of zelda#tloz#loz#ocarina of time#skyward sword#twilight princess#breath of the wild#botw#hyrule warriors#a link between worlds#minish cap#the minish cap#spirit tracks#the wind waker#wind waker#a link to the past#links awakening#tri force heroes
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I Am A Shill For The Manga Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun
Hello! Dr. Shojo here! It has been a long time since I've posted anything!
Is it because I stopped reading manga? Haha nope it's because I have carpel tunnel AND tendonitis. You should see my physiotherapy bill! It's depressing! But you know what cheers me up? All the love you guys showed my Katarina Class post!
In thanks for the love you’ve shown I’m back! And today were talking about one of my favorite manga's of all time – Short Cake Cake! Oh, wait we already covered that! Change of plans! Time to cover my OTHER favorite manga of all time!
That’s right! Today we are taking a look at the supernatural shojo TOILET BOUND HANAKO KUN!!
First of all, can we talk about these colors?! I would sell my right lung for these colors. The gorgeous character designs combined with these washed out neon is what got me to check out the series. It's just incredibly appealing. Also, the fact that Hanako looks like a sassy ass trouble maker.
mean look at this kid. I'm weak to sass. Don’t ask me how many doodles I have of Kokichi Ouma in my sketchbook ok? It’s embarrassing.
Now Toilet Bound Hanako Kun is super easy to get into because the first chapter reads like a one shot. You can read it and be satisfied in only 60 pages. What are you waiting for? GO! READ IT NOW!
IF YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTERS AND ART LIKE ME THERE ARE 9 MORE VOLUMES BUT IF YOU DON’T YOU CAN BE DONE AFTER 60 PAGES.
*cough* I'm calm I swear.
Now let's delve into it shall we?
The story starts out with our adorable Protagonist Nene. She's our typical heroine. Adorable, Dense and hopelessly in love with some boy! The twist this time is that she has the bright idea to use the local school ghost Hanako of the Toilet to try and get said man.
Hoh boy. This sounds like a poorly thought out plan.
Thankfully Hanako is like GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING USING THE SUPERNATURAL FOR THIS EVERYDAY SHIZ. DID YOU NOT SEE HOW THIS WORKED OUT IN SABRINA?
Ok so Ima level with you, this premise instantly won me over to Hanako. He’s a nice kid! He really wants Nene to be ok! He warns her totally un cryptically that she's making bad life decisions! Hey Nene, Maybe date this dead kid! I know it sounds weird but this is manga so your probably fine!
Anyways after these cute hijinks ensue with Nene trying to win over her love with Hanako’s help.
What sets this story apart is the writing of the characters. Hanako and Nene seem really genuine when they are trying to figure out the best way to win over someone's heart. What makes someone appealing? Do you really know what love is when you're that young? Never trust a love self-help book!
Anyways I really recommend reading the first chapter to get the whole story, the art is super cute. Did you see Nenes uniform?! To die for! This manga is low key less horny soul eater and Its fun!
But for those that want to know more about where the story is going, spoiler alert!
Predictably Nene eventually tries to use the magic route out of desperation and winds up cursed to turn into a fish/mermaid and the only to be human again is to be bound together with Hanako instead of her true love. Yup it’s a life of cleaning toilets for Nene.
And so our story begins!
This is also the part where we find out that Hanako is way more of a little shit then we thought.
Nene isn't a pushover though so were going to get some really cute back and forth for the rest of the series. Hanako’s obvious crush on Nene is going to be a slow burn. Ganbatte Hanako Kun!
So, if you're wondering where the series goes from here, Hanako and Nene investigate the 7 supernatural school mysteries as they pop up and start to cause trouble in the school. We slowly learn more about Hanako and his past, Nene has more misadventures in love, and because this is a shojo we get our LOVE TRIANGLE!
Now let us pause so I can gush about this love triangle.
IT’S A LITTLE GAY YOU GUYS. ITS GOT THAT SHORT CAKE CAKE VIBE OF BEING A LITTLE BIT GAY. I’M WEAK
OK. This time our light-haired Boy B is Kou, And he is an exorcist! What a perfect rival for Hanako!
Hanas like bitch Nene is mine tho. What a little sh*t.
Don’t let their first meeting fool you though. Kou and Hana get their own friendship arc in the series and soon Kou is saying misleading things like KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN!
He like also stresses out that Hanako is falling out of a building this one time but like, Hanas a ghost so calm down?
look out Nene, Kou is being a real stud around Hana. He might steal his heart!
Anyways I don’t want to spoil to much so I'll just wrap this up now. But I'm not going to lie if I didn’t ship HanaNene so much I would ship Hanakou in a hot second.
HANA GETS SO MANY TENDER MOMENTS WITH NENE IN BETWEEN HIS TROLLING THOUGH I CANT NOT ROOT FOR THEM OK
Jokes aside the three form a mystery hunting trio so adorable I had to spend 120$ of fillings for the cavity's i just got.
My only complaint about this series.......is that the only way to buy Toilet bound hanako kun...... is via EBOOK. There is NO PHYSICAL ENGLISH RELEASE. So, if it is in your means PLEASE CONSIDER BUYING THE EBOOK SO WE MIGHT ONE DAY GET A PHYSICAL COPY. HECK IF I GO TO JAPAN IM TRAKING THESE DOWN I NEED TO HOLD THEM IN MY HANDS.
*cough* I'm calm I swear.
Honestly, I love Hanako, Kou and Nene with all of my otaku heart. The art is gorgeous and detailed, the water color title pages are to die for, and the story has that supernatural vibe I've been missing from gravity falls.
READ IT READ IT READ IT LOOK HOW MUCH LOVE WENT IN TO INKING HANAKOS BLACK HAIR AND UNIFORM. MY POOR WRISTS HURT THINKING ABOUT IT! SUPPORT THIS EFFORT!
Xoxo
Ciao!
Dr. Shojo
#jibaku shounen hanako kun#toilet bound hanako kun#Hanako#nene#kou#Iro Aida#Dr Shojo#Shojo#supernatural#gravity falls#kokichi ouma#my ot3
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Are they, are they not?
„GoodOmens“ content was flooding my dash for a while now.
At first I ignored it, but I grew more curious with every post about the show, cute fanart does that to you.
So i made an amazon prime account (thankfully there is a free month option) to check out for myself what that hype was all about:
Aka the two cents noone asked for.
I like bible story adaptations. Though I myself am not a believer, I love the concept of angels, demons, gods, mythical creatures, all that good stuff. Makes sweet fuel for the creativity engine.
I did enjoy the story, the story telling. I liked quite a lot of the characters. The humor. Cringed at some scenes and lines.
All in all the series was a solid 4,5 out of 5.
The big questionis: Are the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley a thing?
((Now I only watched the TV Series, never read the book. But as far as I am aware, what I could gather from tumblr posts anyway, there are quite a lot of differences, so they should be treated seperately.
What I could gather, in the book they held hands facing the Apocalypse, and at the end moved into a cottage together.
What I do know, is that in the series one of the angels that cornered Aziraphale to question him, called Crowley something along the lines of „your boyfriend with the sunglasses“.
If they arnt canon, why put a line like this in there. I mean yeah I guess its meant as harmless joke but did they really have to include that?))
- I have seen many opinions on this:
Some claim it is absolutely canon, refering to the creators confirming it in an interview.
- Others say they are just (best) friends.
- My friend told me she read an article where the creators (or one of them anyway) said that they cant be in a love relationship because celestial beings apparently dont have a concept of that kind of love. To which I call bullshit, because not only do they experience love for things like food or a bentley to the point they are „having a moment here“ when it burns down, to crying over the loss of a best friend.
Its not a huge leap from best friends to Significant others, rather its a pretty small step.
And before anyone says something along the lines „Just because they dont have sex on screen...“ yada yada. Of course they dont have to fuck to be a valid couple. I myself wish nothing more than relationship stories that dont revolve around sex in this over sexualised world. Id love to see more Asexual rep.
I love their relationship: being fond of each others company, wanting to run off together, worrying for eachother, caring for eachother, having fun together...but how hard would it be to say „I love you“ or hold hands while smiling lovingly at eachother. Because as cute as their interactions are, you COULD interpret it as just really close friends.
Hell, there are still a lot of people denying Korrasami (the lesbian couple from the show „the legend of Korra“), calling them gal pals and seeing their handholding and them longingly gazing at eachother as being really close friends. (disclaimer, Im not saying their relationship has been established in a perfect way with all the love triangle going on etc.)
- I read an article, where N.G said that it IS a love story, which kind of love, though, is up to the viewers interpretation. Which, to me, is one of the rudest things to say, especially as an supposed ally. What does he think have we been doing all these years? Starving for representation, the lgbt-etc community kept grasping at any ever so small hint, clinging to any for two same gendered individuals atypical interaction they could find, just to be shown the middle finger in the end.
Is it queerbaiting?
((If Im not mistaken the book and the series was written by two authors, and I dont know, to me, if its not both parties agreeing on them being gay, and only one pushing this narrative, then I wouldnt count it.
Also im not sure why he is practically begging for fanfictions. If your show is good and you have nice character you dont even have to say a thing and there are thousand fanfictions appearing every second. Mostly fetish/kink based porn fanfictions, but yeah.))
((Disclaimer: Before I get jumped, yes I know angels and demons have no gender, I am aware of that.
But they present themselves mostly as men. Sometimes as women.
So lets just say it would be a win for nonebinaries and homosexuals alike.))
Many shows like using queerbaiting to boost their views. Using interactions between two same gendered people, including romantice cues, to wake the illusion of a possible homosexual relationship, but keep it vague enough not to throw off the straight viewership.
And boy do the fish bite, just to be tossed into the grinder when the show is done and it turns out, hey those two characters were straight all along. Silly fish.
I mean, are straight people not tired of the „will they wont they trope“?
Also it bothers me how we have two celestial beings knowing eachother for thousands of years with the potential of an enemies, to friends, to best friends, to significant others love story and get nothing (?).
But then we have two characters that literally just met, and they fuck in a storm because of a prophecy.
That scene threw me off. Did I miss something? Did they stop the storm by fucking? Also haha hes a virgin. And after that they are together.
That being said, in no way do I want to force the creators to change their characters into something they didnt envision them to be. But if you didnt plan it then stick to your actual plan and dont give people, who are starved for this kind of content, false hope so you can collect browny points and/or gain more viewers. And Im pretty sure making their interactions as gay as they are is a huge part why this show exploded so hard.
Also we should stop praising „browny point fishing creators“. (of any media)
In this case its absolutely valid to praise the creators of Good Omens for a good show, I liked the series too.
But dont put them on the throne as saviors of the lgbt community.
((As I already mentioned, I liked the show, it was a cute little story with nice characters.
But I dont really want to invest my time and energy into supporting a noncanon pairing like I used to.
Its tiring and draining and ends in sadness. Id rather move on.))
This is a written mess and all over the place, so please do correct me on anything that I got wrong.
All I want to know is the truth.
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OC Interview ⭐
1. Choose an OC. (Isaac)
2. Answer them as that OC. (Sure but for the sake of Danse, I’ll tone done his potty mouth xD)
3. Tag 5 people to do the same! ( @adhdnightmare @catastrotaffy @life-is-no-sugarlicking @wailful-waffle @eisenhexa)
Tagged by @val-rampage 🤘
⭐⭐⭐
1. What is your name?
"Isaac.. why the feck you askin"
2. Do you know why are you named that?
"I don’t know where I am,or what I did this morning... you think I’d know that?"
3. Are you single or taken?
"taken where? " (single)
4. Have any abilities or powers?
"yeah I eat fire and shit bottlecaps. its a real problem in the bathroom"
5. Stop being a Mary Sue.
"who the feck is mary sue and why would I want to be her??"
6. What’s your eye color?
"I cant see my own face let alone my eye color. so you tell me"
7. How about your hair color?
"what? am I invisible? you’re looking right at me.. I think.. its obviously blue and brown."
8. Have any family members?
"Yeah, the people over there are.. probably.. I think ... They hanging around and I just ate dinner with em so that means yes and I stand by that"
9. Oh? How about pets?
"this coyote cub I found somewhere , named him carrots and my other dog Rex! he’s really cool. he’s got robo parts and his brain is like.. from a completely different thing! he knows tons of tricks too-" *proceeds to go on a passionate rant about Rex and what a good and talented boi he and his recused coyote pup are*
10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?
"for one, this damn interview, hate talkin to people. know what its like to have to talk to someone when you can’t see faces? you just got a humanoid flappin a black blurry maw at you making words.
second, when my sis uses my cookin shit. did you know she once burned water? WATER! how do you even do that?? and of course centaurs.. the feck came up with that thing?? who looked at a bunch of humans and was like ... you know what would be really neat? LIKE THEY HAVE TENTACLE MOUTHS AND HAND FEET!! HAND FEET!! AND FECK IT! MAKE EM SPIT VOM POISON!" *goes off on another passionate rant about all the things fecked up about centaurs*
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
"Yeah, cookin and buildin shit, why? well building mods and weapons..I found some scrap yesterday and thought, you know what my powerfist is missing? a retractable blalde so I-" *sits up on chair and leans forward to start gesturing while pulling out one of many journals containing both blueprints for weapons and starts up on another tangent*
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
"probably but I don’t remember and as far as I know, no one said I did"
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
.. -deadpan tone- “we’re in the gatdamn apocalypse, what do you think? "
14. What kind of animal are you?
"what in the gatdamn kind of question is that it?? Do I look like an animal to you? Maybe you're the one who can't see shit"
15. Name your worst habits?
"Nothing, I'm a gatdamn delight.. Though Ive been reminded that swearing; breaking and entering, shoplifting, pickpocketing, putting people in mailboxes and beating up buster when he cheats at caravan, is infact frowned on"
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
"my brother shark, (@eisenhexa ) he's got these really cool tattoos and sharp teeth and I'm pretty sure he's a lizard person.. You can also stick shit in his giant earlobes. The best thing is rubber chickens. He loves that and he's the best brother ever.. Him and follows-chalk who is pretty great too .. and my sisters: smol-fry and Burns-water (@val-rampage &@adhdnightmare )
They are pretty tough and know a bunch of stuff and really good in fights n'shit. They loud and get mad really quick but they punched this guy who was making fun of my missing fingers..They both cant cook for shit tho"
17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?
"No"
18. Do you go to school?
"... The frick is school"
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
".. I'm like ..17 or something and I can barely take care of myself let alone a kid"
20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?
".. Why would I?? Who looks at a teenage mailman delivering gatdamn packages in the gatdam desert and goes "ah yes, big fan..feckin mood.." ??"
21. What are you most afraid of?
"… I don't want to talk about it "-shifts uneasily in chair-
22. What do you usually wear?
"Clothes. Thought about trying cacti once but then thought..ah better not."
23. What’s one food that tempts you?
"Tempts me? What do you mean tempts me? Like what kind of food is standing in a back alley, wearing a trench coat going "hey kid, wanna buy some fruit?" "
24. Am I annoying to you?
"Feckin obviously .."
25. Well, it’s still not over!
"It is if I punch you in the mouth"
26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?
"I don't understand feck all you're talking about.. Class? Class me"
27. How many friends do you have?
"sure"
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
"what kind of pie we talking? Fruit or meat filled? Cause I got some recipes that are pretty good.." -starts digging through his bag-
29. Favorite drink?
"Sarsaparilla."
30. What’s your favorite place?
"I vaguely remember this one place.. It was in a canyon I think, had fresh water.. Like.. Huge lakes of it and it nothing was radiated! There were even fish!! I think it was like.... It started with an s.. or a z?.. anyway that feckin place was great. But I'm pretty sure there was a gang of ghost bears or something, which I had to drink poison to fight em and got fecked up bad.. Anyway, 10/10 would go again"
31. Are you interested in anyone?
"you're real gatdamn nosy aren't you? No I ain't interested in creepy ass faceless humanoids"
32. That was a stupid question…
"you think?"
33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
"if it's water and I can swim in it, I don't give a feck what you call it"
34. What’s your type?
".. My.. Type???? The feck? Type of what? Ammo? Food? You have to be more specific"
35. Any fetishes?
"... What's a fetishes? Fet-ishes .. is it like..a ....a brand of fish? Like..a salmon or something? Salmons good."
36. Camping or outdoors?
"... Camping is outdoors so... you're asking me outdoors... Or outdoors. Not much of a choice is it... And with that, I'm feckin done cause I got shit to do.. Like nap n' take a shit n'.. Really just anything that isn't talking to you."
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Hey you. How have you been?
Heya love, i hope you’re ok with long answear because i am unable to keep thing short (soooorryyy)
I am doing ok! i thinki found job in movie theatre (i cant watch movies now because i know all the plot twist). And i need to tell you one thing about movie theatres or at least one in my city. It’s full of gays, like every gay from my city under 30 decided to work there.
I love all my gay dumbass coworkers,(they are dumb, oh the stories i can tell you) all of them (rest of the coworkers - you’re on the thin ice) but work itself? Meh.Could be better.
That’s why two weeks ago i started working for my parents in newsstand they bought. I am not keen on working with family, i know how things could ended or rather will end. With my studies i cant work two jobs so i was like.
... you can guess what i choose.
Tomorrow i will be submitting my resignation to the movie theatre. I will miss my weird coworkers but i cant stay there just because of them.
On other note:
-i dyed hair half red - it looks great! i absolutely love it!
-i have an aquarium now! i havent gave all fishes names so for now we have: kermit stinky bastard murderous boi (a frog),Mr FrownFace angery and fancy boi, that one fish that always look shooked (what things have you seen my son), chunky absolutely unit boi, big rainbow swimming babies and the rest that are called “what are you all even” oh and i have some shrimps!
i love it so much i am considering to buy a second tank just so i can buy a second betta fish (they are my fav
i am considering my very first tattoo, i have even solid idea but somehow i cant get enough money, every month something suddenly happens and i have to postpone it
I am so so HAPPY! You send me a message i was actually thinking non stop about talking to you, i dont wanna lose contact, you’re the coolest! But you see i am the worst
But please tell me what you have been up to! i am really really curious!
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taz/cr crossover where the m9 are the ipre
(not: i am like an hour into episode 26 of cr. i am absolutely writing this post to put off listening to it and the inevitable breakdown that comes with that SO no spoilers please)
there are no real one to one swaps. as in no “caleb fills taako’s role” or whatever. some get close but none exact
thats a lie kiri is angus mcdonald. ANYWAY
the relics go as follows!
fjord - phoenix fire gauntlet
jester - oculus
yasha - gaia sash
nott - philosopher’s stone
caleb - temporal chalice
molly - animus bell
beau - bulwark staff
its beau and yasha who have the profound, half-century of pining romance that culminates in a beautiful duet. yasha nearly breaks the piano but its fine cause shes gay
however, its fjord and caleb who become liches.
the relics are beau and fjord’s idea!
i dont have any particular ideas about what happens during the stolen century yet...more on that later
except the voidfish bonds with yasha and jester the most. strong lesbian/bi girl solidarity
ANYWAY after they release the relics stuff starts sucking, and its caleb who ends up leaving “back soon” style. he goes after fjord’s glove cause its...the easiest to track. cause big booms and stuff, you know?
jester then fishes the whole journey. she tries to do so much for them but she cant keep beau and yasha together cause their relationship is so contextualized by the mission, nott doesnt have anyone at all because caleb never came back, fjord was there before she fed the fish and gone by the time she went out to collect everyone, molly wakes up almost right away but he just has nothing, barely kept his name
but you know, it works out and stuff.
thb ends up being nott, beau, and yasha
when they first find a decrepit, robed skeleton with a stick in a cave, beau says “hey i could whack people with this” and as soon as she picks it up her sleeve catches fire
nott thinks it really funny. really, really funny and she cant quite place why.
one big canon divergence is that thb becomes...qhb? molly is with them on most of their missions. he squabbles with beau, jabs at her about stuff she’s never told him. he finds it so easy to talk to yasha, even more easy than the director (jester) who saved his life and is the first person he remembers. sometimes, he talks to nott’s weird stick like its a person.
beau and yasha still take a long ass time to get together the second time. but its, again, so easy for them to do it. kinda scary.
sometimes during fights, nott will just. shout random phrases into the air. later she will have no recollection of doing so.
this is turning a bit into a word vomit so we r gonna stop right here! im obsessed with this so theres gonna be more
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QUOTES (as in things i’ve said, not necessarily original things but things ive said.) FROM MUN HIKARY,HER DAD AND CLASSMATES AS RP STARTERS:
"get your fuck boy out of my house"
"Listen here you fuck nugget"
"don't touch me you bafoon"
"leave the soul alone"
"WHERE IS SPACE DAD"
"i got some shoes from my drug dealer, i dont know what he laced them with but i've been tripping all day...."
"Sure thing Chew-Brocka"
"the beatings will continue until morale improves."
"looking to protect yourself or deal some damage?"
"The egg-salts?"
"much cheese cake"
"FIGHT ME"
"DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE!"
"baby,princess, dear,dearest. Do me a favorite and get your head out of my ass"
"Whats up gays!"
"Its 1 get the fuck up you lil shit"
"its a porch...not a deck....."
"when one plays the earth game twister one finds out more about the other's than they wanted"
"pain is your reward for being near me."
"oh it's the nasty crime boi"
"follow the yellow-dick road"
"these jokes arent the only thing that suck"
"stupid controls! I said walk to the side not jump off the cliff"
"_GET YOUR DICK OUT OF MY GODDESS!"
"Zarkon unhand my space father"
"sadness is merely a part of life."
"BON BON YOU WANT SUM FUC"
"they're gonna play Mario cart"
"that's how friendship dies"
"ID BE THE TINY ANGRY GUY, I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME"
"Space Dad jokes are out of this world"
"space dad part of a balanced breakfast"
" i wonder whats over here, oh its plot"
"not all wood resists magic damage"
"destroy us all!"
"i could pee in a bucket and tell him it's beer."
"i would fuck lance because who wouldn't"
"ITS BECAUSE IM A DEMON ISINT IT? THATS RACIST!"
" IF YOU LOVED ME YOUD KILL THE SPIDERS"
"Fite me!"
"fuck Shiro because, just look at him. Who wouldn’t?"
"I am tumblr senpai"
"Why is he grinding?!"
"They bonded by beating the shit out of eachother."
"ah ah put those grabby hands away." (wow without context that sounds really dirty)
"if I have social anxiety and YOU have social anxiety then who's going to order the food?"
"now if they made space dad shaped mac and cheese i wouldnt mind so much"
"it could be 1 of 2 things metal leg or morning wood"
"i like chicks not dicks"
"why cant you just say vagina?"
"Ok so if you ever need a break from your mech with a watersport kink let me know."
"I love you" "dude thats gay..." "we are litterly having sex"
"watch your mouth you little shit"
"yes daddy dearest"
"COME HERE MY SPACE CHILD"
"Let me hug you space child"
"i must adopt this lost space child"
"soft and warm space dad"
"omg your so extra"
"hgn those claws he could just rip me apart"
"we can go inside"
"i wouldn't want to expose you"
"he's see more of your girlfriend than you have"
"we had a bonding moment i punched you in the face!"
"I ate my school"
"this limp noodle"
"PRAISE MUNWAY"
"You wanna ride my huge dragon"
"and i don't know....somethin' bout friendship..."
"Tid be a pitty if i killed him off"
"you've been shanked" "..with a ruler..."
"did you just giggle your boobs at me?"
"It was an earth shattering shit"
"I am the pumpkin gardian"
"Hold my beer and watch this mother fucker
"Careful nuts make you swell, just ask your sister"
"My dad the crack dealer"
"balls deep in an au"
"Don't fuck on my expensive leather couch you cunts"
"He's a perceptive hoe"
"blubbering balls of teenage awkwardness"
"What can I say except~ FUCK OFF"
"I am the alpha dad"
"thats a kick in the danger clam"
"your gonna get your weiner stuck in the baby gate"
"I'm taking you back to the pound"
"I'm so sorry the princess had his feelings hurt"
“Hey demons, it’s ya boi, Satan. Give me the homie back”
"my name is stan, im satan"
"I Came Here For A Good Time And All I Got Was Porn"
"it went from warm to freezing because snow miser is shitting on us"
"Near death can be fixed with ducktap"
"I don't remember what I did with my pants"
"It smells" "You smell" "Your face smells" "You almost got punched I'm the face"
"Bueno bear"
"MAKE THAT ANGST YOUR BITCH"
“Gently bullied him into submission”
*Holds up fishing pole and bubbles* hookers and blow.
"To hard, to thick. I'd get hair stuck in my teeth" "...don't ever say that in public."
"Even lesbians like babies"
"My dad is like a fun vampire"
You are a steampunk blood warrior with a plan"
"You are a steampunk blood warrior with a flan"
"You've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth lesbian"
"You just made the inquisitior gay" "Yes" 5 minutes later "So what else us on the table" "The inquisitior"
"Did...did you just call the Cat a butt plug?"
"not like that you kinky fuck"
"kinky princess Matthew holt and his fluffy sidekick Mr whiskers."
"DONT MAKE ME KINKSHAME YOU AGAIN" "MAYBE YOU'LL KINKSHAME ME HARD THIS TIME"
"I'm gay and I'm ready to party"
"You founded a country on cocaine and prostitution?"
"You know what looks delicious" "What" "Your tight ass" "Your a hoe, like ben" "_ lemme smash"
"Human Sacrifice is always an option if you aren't a weak little bitch."
"Last time you had an imaginary friend I'm pretty sure it was a demon"
" I don't want to be propositioned by you in private!"
"Don't vore the dogs"
"Surely not everyone was kung-fu fighting" "They were" "..we're they fast as lightning?" "No they were slow, Tai Chi mother fucker"
"There’s a train of thought but it’s been de railed and Billy the kid robbed it."
"Shes just where burgers go to die"
"Im a priest to our lady of sin and this is my seeing eye dragon"
"Hello nightmares my old freind"
"they took some scaly lizard dick"
"I would go to Satan jazz club"
"Gandalf the off white"
"Stop kicking my puppy"
"You sleep darted that man in the dick"
"i didn't hit puberty...i just kinda shook it's hand"
"Tall, dark, warm and edgy. The perfect dad"
"Cerberus thinks he's a lap dog"
"thank god for incredible upper body strength"
"No ship wars. I multi ship like an adult" "Am I an adult I poly ship?" "Yes"
" my flaccid dagger"
"He's running around like a squirrel on crack"
"Could you please acidenly flex somewhere else your distracting me"
"It is the first day of Christmas fucker"
"Don't make me beat ypu with egg nog"
"Why did it suddenly become British?"
"You've been BLUNDERSTRUCK"
"Slav tellaported from another dimension to punch you in the arm"
"Floating kingdom of dabalon"
"I like my nightshade pomegranate flavored"
"dont dab on my boobs"
"The first vampire ran into the sun"
"I need a pocket sendak"
"Four score and 7 years ago our founding pirates"
"Been fueling up on....."
"Life is a highway?"
"the lyrics are coke and whiskey dumb ass"
"all i want for Christmas is the dreamiest daddy."
"HAIL KURO"
"patience yields fucking"
"Gray haired man on a house coming through" "I tottally thought you said gay haired man"
"Oh... mood"
"You wrap presents like a blind t rex"
"i take a look at me enormous-"
"white privilege."
"I swear to all of the gods I'm going to climb you like a fucking vine"
"The pellar, he uh.... loves his goat"
"whispers goat fuckerrrr"
"sleeping with slytherins" "dont you mean sirens?" "same fucking thing"
"No one told you life was gonna be this-" "Gay?"
"I am truly the hobo on top of the polar express" "No your the homo ontop of the polar express" "Can't she be a homo hobo?"
"Kinkshame me harder"
“Kinkshame me harder spicy papa”
"Male griffin returns and is like what the fuck did you do to my wife"
"WITH YOUR SHAG CARPET ID BE GETTING HAIR BALLS"
"Drug cloud please disperse"
"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"
"BITCH I OUTRANK YOU"
"Just cause I'm gay dosent mean the cake needs to be"
"Right in the paw patroler"
"Stuffed em up Mr patato head's butt"
"feed me"
"i swear if you start singing-"
"must be blood"
"here she gose again"
"must be fresh"
"i dont wanna hear this"
"FEED ME, FEED ME SEYMORE~"
"Get on the fucking dragon or I will leave you in this tower"
"Vivia le roi" "LONG LIVE THE REVALUATION" "No.... long live the king"
"I'm a senior my vote counts more"
"I am gentle snek"
"The boner wizzard is a girl" "That's a dragon" "Girl dragon"
"my father the actual 5 year old" "thats right 5 times a whole bunch"
"why..... is your icon a crotch buldge?"
"Layers" "Like an oinion" "Yes and their all gonna make you cry"
"You blushing" "I'm pasty and I burn in the sun anytime I go out." "So your burned..?" "Yes fucker"
"You should be careful dancing around with those daggers when I'm throwing fire" "It won't hurt me. It's friendly fire"
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hello it is once again time for my end of the year wrap up. this should be... interesting
january
finally finally got to have a happy apartment experience!!!!! tried out tea drops which are dope. there was a fair amount of stress revolving around APO induction and the musical rehearsal, but we made it!!! partied hardy (the infamous tess in the washing machine incident) kelli was watching always sunny more often than not. i wore some arguably bad clothing but ya know. gays. we tried to take off my closet door (it did NOT work). the beginning of the goose saga! there was a sleet storm so kelli and i made some popcorn and watched mike birbiglia’s new special. darci, kelli and i went out to eat and then ended up in babcock playing air hockey before watching videos with kai who was on duty. PEP BAND???? some good memories formed there. dogs in the library! got bullied by my library boss to put gas in my car and i sent her a video of proof that i did it “daddy long legs” “stop. what?” “the musical” (i do love timothy) i actually practiced my instrument lol wild. WE (becky, celeste, timothy and i) WATCHED SPIRIT and got wildly drunk -- the origin of “[redacted] [redacted] who???” which is my favorite joke.
february
MORE PEP BAND im actually really glad i spent my last few college months dicking around with the band. one man drumline!!! kai made some good tiktoks in our apartment! miss hanging with them it was really fun. oh i hung out with sam and celeste watching movies “he was a boy, she was a dolphin, can i make it anymore [strangled dolphin noises]” OUR MICROWAVE HANDLE BROKE OFF while kelli was gone man that entire apartment was falling apart (hey dumbass grab from top) -- a list of things that were broken in our apartment: fridge light, front entry light, showerhead, phone. the birth of the beans insta!!!! got hit on when i was at taco bell with timothy by being accused of being trans (taco bell guy was not far off to be fair). oh the improv posters as compared to the posters i built for an organization fair. went out and got daRUNK at what appears to be wandas. really struggled with my period. cut hair with kelli n darci. MOZZ STICKS. “you still a lil bitch???” oh we did kpy pal-entines!!! where we ate good food and watched the princess bride!!! i received the plush goose. there was a possible bombing at the bank next door to where we rehearsed for band. aw i went on a tommy’s date with becky that was cute. they tried to STEAL the QUESO. disagreed with a curb and still have those scars. worked a horrible gig at the theatre. closing shifts at the library baby! middle school tours EW more library dogs! fish hooks song oh my god. drunk mash nights!!! i rewatched HAVEN and had lots of feelings. actually got drunk alone a lot which was Bad. however michael malloys birthday! watched choir concert at work lol. stats final whilst drunk!!!! becky got a piercing
march
here things go downhill rapidly. hit up the trains at least once. oh late library nights with timothy!!!! the best nights i miss hanging with him while at work. struggled with my car. went on a college sponsored adventure to a back alley farm. SCURVY FEARS. opening shifts that were lonely. oh celeste played plague and named it covid and won lol yikes. the infamous apartment cone. we stayed up long enough to see the sunrise on literally the last day in college I would ever have. that was good. I FOUND OUT KELLI HAD GLASSES im still pissed. came home indefinitely. went to st patty’s day at brookes with karrigan and that was SO much fun (this was before things seemed real) the best part of that was the irish pub owner who happened to have a son that went to my college. got my mom onto tik tok. took a gay lit class. can’t believe i took daily fckn walks around the pasture who was i. hosted virtual meetings for apo and played around with the closed captioning. that was fun. shaved my moms head lmaooo. worked on my capstone which im like super proud of? i wish i could have directed it but say law vee.
april
BAGPIPE CORPS INTERNATIONAL. virtual band wreaked havoc on my animals mental health. my grandmother would always bug me while i was working which i understand now was misplaced love but it was so irritating at the time. we had library meetings once a week or so that was vital to mental health. hosted a really fun “panel” about queer identity for my queer lit class that was able to educate a lot of people. having a capstone class with am*lia was a nightmare. watched a cirque du soleil show for free and lost my mind. wrote a comedic monologue that i suffered through. suffered through papers and projects. worked on a project with celeste and kelli and we had SUCH a good time. i hosted several jackbox nights for both apo and kpy. that was SUCH an exhausting experience. also uno and drawful with the uno group (kelli would win 100% of the time). ranted about group projects lol i struggled. OH THE MOVE OUT DEBACLE i really went off the deep end. kelli’s virtual birthday!!!!
may
we had so many good jackbox nights. academic showcase and honors convocation happened wherein i was name bronco award winner and that really wrecked me too lol. we had a sunday crew hang out for library workers. clarinet game night too! i tried so hard to build community during covid and im not altogether sure i accomplished it but ya know whatever. watsky broke the record! made my “aced it” grad cap which was so FUNNY and still is tbh. becky taught me how to do makeup. took grad pictures at an abandoned farmhouse lol OH MY GOSH BEAUX ARTS AND APO SKIT i was so proud of that night and annette said it was the best one we’d ever had. wish i had done more but we did it boys. also got VERY drunk for it lol completely redid my room. bc it was NASTY. the way i write papers is so SO funny to me. had our last capstones class and then dressed in grad outfits for our last lit meeting . graduated and got all my stuff from college finally. went shopping with timothy, had el puerto with becky (i think?). oh the infamous miller moths UGH shit is nasty. THE FORMING OF BANJO SHRIMPS occurred on may 24 2020 and that was the absolute best thing to come out of this year. started working at my dads agency which was the absolute worst thing to come out of this year. attended my first protest in cos which was good and healthy. started protesting regularly after that. my most poignant memory was laying down in front of city hall and chanting “i cant breathe” for 8 minutes.
june
it snowed???? i was angry. part of my job was reading my dad’s email and there was some WACKO shit in there. went to brookes for pride as a surprise which was cute n fun. had a horrible interaction with a client. the appearance of the bigfoot statue!!!! we had a vanilla beans hang out. there was a WILD storm that literally made my hide out in the office.
july
went on a bonkers rant about america bc fuck this place. helped mom out with homework. we had several clients get divorces which was messy. went to a Bad party where i was angry the whole time. went to the top of pikes peak with my grandma and saw many much bigfoot things. we got a GOOSE he hated us so much. oh there was a night where darci and kai came over and we hijacked kelli’s spotify and communicated that way it was SO funny. took a video of the dichotomy of man bc of my long ass leg hair and short ass head hair. shaved my head to the BONE and tried dragon fruit. GOT NIKO ON JULY 24 my sweet sweet boy lil bat looking motherfucker. got denied for life insurance for mental health reasons.
august
went back to hc for a birthday “party” and to see the band. did a lot in that weekend (stayed with timothy’s family, helped becky move, met kelli’s look-alike, saw timothy and karlie’s new house!!! had lunch with kellis family which is closest to “meet my parents” i think i’ll ever get lmao). got my prof headshots and hate every single one of them but more for self esteem reasons lol. neighbors got goats and my mom lost her marbles. got trapped in traffic on the way back from hc. niko had crackhead energy. oooooooh documented gender crisis. ma got more chickens. went to a birthday party for a high school friend and was just... so out of my element. its weird. took off my grandma’s bathroom door bc she had knee surgery. started a full time job as my grandmother’s caretaker (love working for the family business lol).
september
went to breckenridge with a friend!!!!!! spicy times lol. cleaned the cupboard. had a birf. turned 22. cas finished her drugs!!!! and felt much better. we did a charcuterie board for my birthday which was very fun. Got a mixer set!!! went to hc for homecoming and graduated!!!!! surprised celeste and hannah with a celebration party for them (it was a lot of fun). came up with my BEST joke (summa cum laude). got called tf out for my gender crisis via tarot. got the goose game!!!! played the goose game!!!!
october
applied to chicago center!!!! will now be working there for a year!!!! this was the first documentation of banjo shrimp nights. surprised my dad for boss day by working with the team to fill his office with balloons. house sat for dad’s friends. started taking showers in the dark. went to celestes and made PASTA wow got very drunk and while she slept i just explored a strangers house. voted!!!!! wow. finally (finally) started to accept that i was maybe agender. had a snow day but i couldn’t work so that was fun. had halloween with banjo shrimps where i dressed up as david rose. that was SUCH a good night. participated in ace week!!! then, dressed as radar for actual halloween and had monumental. worked a volunteer haunted house and like... actually did pretty good?? felt like a real adult!!!!
november
so many things happened in november. i finished miraculous ladybug on netflix. had another bad interaction with a client bc the customer is always wrong. shaved my head. PRESENTATION NIGHT to distract from the election lmao what a good time. had so many emotions about the election. then biden won and we lost our damn minds -- video called with celeste and becky to celebrate (with the reminder that we know that this doesn’t solve everything but it was such a huge sigh of relief). started watching the last kids on earth. made more PASTA and soup! got my GHOSTY TATTOO. kahoot night with the banjo shrimps lol. watched the supernatural finale with kelli (what good memories) rewatched 3below good shit. got the chicago job so i quit being an insurance person!!!! brooke came for thanksgiving!!!
december
i dont wanna talk about it but i finally started watching unus annus (theres an archive its not the same but it provided me wild amounts of serotonin). “call that invisible split dye”. crimmus. had a video call with people from high school i rarely if ever see. this entire month has been a fuckin blur my guys but i’m so excited for what’s next. in two days i will be in an apartment in chicago. i will be reunited with my best friend in a little under two weeks. i cannot emphasize enough how excited i am for this next chapter. so yeah. that was my year. im sure there was more memories but that’s what the sideblog is for lol
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A list of random crackheadery from high school cause I low key miss it
“I’m gonna yeet myself into the afterlife”
“I’m gonna rotisserie cook your future children and eat them”
“KARMA’S A B*TCH!” Yelled while playing a game of uno in homeroom very loudly
a kid walked around our lunchroom with a fake blue bird pinned in his hair which was life size and honestly the weirdest part of lunch
“What should i put on my shirt for (x club)? It’s between uwu, Space Boi uwu, and rawr XD. My goal is to be as cringey as possible.”
*crying* “Well you just threw off my groove and i-“
(To the tune of G-6) “I’m a dumb bish, I’m a dumb bish”
“(X name)! How far would you have been if i didn’t stop you to tell you you’re a thot”. “Probably yeeted off a bridge by now”
“He just looks like a sad pigeon with a boss hat”
(To the tune of celebrate good times) “end my suffering, come on!”
“My hands are white!” “YOU’RE WHITE!”
“I’m a firm believer in don’t judge something unless you try it, unless it’s illegal or drugs; don’t do drugs kids”
“.....but not all dogs can fit on skateboards!”
“Can we just cut my legs off and sell them”
“Invade my body, daddy bacteria”
“That’s what I imagine it would sound like if a spider ran in tap shoes”
“My church had an average attendance of 421 this year, we were so freaking close”
“Did you know that Waluigi has the same number of syllables as hallelujah, so if you think of any song with hallelujah in it you can replace it with Waluigi and it’ll fit”
“Anyone wanna feel my swollen gland”
“Your gay is like your mother’s tendency to sleep with men: plentiful”
“If being gay is a sin is satan the gay fairy”
“Vines are like actual vines: you get stuck and you never get out” “vines can choke you though” “Yes choke me daddy vine”
“You are each gonna have a burger component on your back” “I wanna be the meat ;)”
“Grab me however you want daddy hamburger”
*showing a paper with a picture of a bottom bun* “I guess you could say I’m a.... bottom”
“STOP EATING THE DUCT TAPE!”
“Shut up, don’t talk about my potatoes like that”
“Can you snort tide pods”
*whisper screaming and hitting a chair* “WHY IS COTTON EYED JOE BACK”
“But if two furries screw, is god cool with that?”
“PHD- pretty high dolphins”
“Do crocs have memory foam? i think not”
“I’ve run out of creative ways to whip”
“This is why we shouldn’t legalize weed, because we’re having this conversation sober”
“Don’t you just get sad every time a chair dies”
“Praise our lord and savior, Magic Mike”
“I’ll give you fifty bucks if you can guess what’s in my thermos.” “Coffee.” “No. It’s chicken noodle soup”
“I’m gonna eat your fingernails” “did you say EAT” “yeah, I’m gonna chew his fingernails off”
“I already went back to Mexico”
“You’re the BFG” “How so” “Big Frickin Gay”
“But since you’re gay, would you date me if i was” “the only way I’d date you is if you were an online catfish”
“We have a speaker with fake arms today” “he cant bring those in the school those are weapons” “how is he gonna throw them?” “With his feet”
“did you say the THOT police?” “no you idiot the THOUGHT police”
“I’m not scared of Russia. Like honestly i can beat them”
“I share a brian with satan and it smells shirty” (not a typo. Those exact words. I think it was making fun of a typo)
“I look like I’m about to go repaint all my mugs with lead paint”
“And today on the game show of sentences i never thought I’d have to say: it’s not a necklace if you buy it in the pet aisle of walmart”
“You look like the kind of person who would cut spaghetti with dull scissors”
“Hey, hey, hey, not in my f***ing Christian Minecraft server”
“We’re all going to hell” “Not me” “listen we’re in a school we’re already there” “True”
*to the tune of “what is love? Baby don’t hurt me”* “POKÉMON! BABY DON’T HURT ME, DON’T HURT ME, NO MORE”
“YO! PITBULL JUST CAME IN AND OFFERED DONUTS!”
“I’m gonna suck your eyeballs”
“Are we not allowed to have our nails painted since we’re guys” -a definite female, to another definite female
“Ok, so here’s the deal: straight people are uncooked spaghetti. Gay people are cooked rotini. I’m kinda like a cooked spaghetti. I’m not straight, I’m in between.” “The Italian is now interested I’m here what’s up with pasta”
“This song reminds me of Mexican food” “How does this remind you of Mexican food it’s jazz?”
“You’re not allowed to switch schools, I need my twin cop”
“You guys are the reason I wanna die” “you guys are the reason I drink”
*taking a huge drink of peanut butter hot chocolate* “I’m allergic to peanut butter” “THEN WHY DID YOU DRINK IT????” “Because i wanna die”
“so there’s two kinds of country hicks: the yee haws and the haw yees. Now the yee haws are the ones in country songs, they’re vaguely normal and drink and do horse riding stuff. The haw yees are the ones who fish with their hands and then f*** their cousins afterwards”
“Pop is just spicy water”
“I’m sorry, it’s not pizza Steve anymore” “Who is it” “the fresh prince of bel air”
A kid took his phone out of the microwave like that was a normal thing that humans do
“BUT IS HE DATING THE DEER?!”
“Chinese people eat cats, why not lesbians?” *teacher looks up* “saying Chinese people eat cats is too far”
“A gryffindor and a ravenclaw ooh this is good”
Two girls at the exact same time: *Gasp* TEA!
*girl leans back and cracks her head on a counter kind of thing* a friend:”that’s the third f***ing time!”
“SUCK MY WEENIS!”
“If you ever need a professional con artist I’m here” *teacher looks up* “you didn’t hear that” teacher:”hear what”
“Guys I’m stupid. You know when there’s a big number and then a lil number what’s the lil one called” “exponent?” “Yeah!”
*impersonating yoda screaming*
*chugging coffee* “well, I’m still just as tired, but now my atoms are just jazzed.”
“Not to quote Frozen, but you can’t marry a man you just met!”
“Not knowing what kind of exorcise people are talking about is always interesting, because I don’t know if we’re talking about working out or satan”
“If we actually die in the scene where they kill themselves, do we get bonus?” Teacher: *sighs* “sure.”
“Physically you have hair but spiritually you’re bald.”
*Singing boyfriend by BTR for about an hour straight*
“Stop saying teehee you sound like off brand Michael Jackson”
“He smells dead mice for a living!”
*kicking someone’s foot off a ledge* “long live the king!”
*holding a banana like a weapon* “give me all your debt!”
“I want my fingers to be four inches long”
“Let me read your head for a second”
“Oh no you’re white out now”
“This is what happens when your insides are cold”
“Did you just call me a dumb banana?”
“So Kelvin is Fahrenheit...”
“Let me add another fat roll to your arm”
“You wanna see a cute pic of my baby nephew?” “Sure but I might cry”
“Listen I need these pictures to load so I can see if my goats are being little crackheads”
“I keep trying to see if you’re a VSCO girl but you’re holding out on us”
“Pumpkin. Spice. Bleach.”
“I’m already a mother and I don’t like it.”
“This is a vegan cult, Jessica”
“Did you just say you started a religion?” “Yeah, I think I’ll call it the Fedoras”
“Isn’t a fedora just like... a cowboy hat but formal”
“Yes choke me daddy panic”
“I’m your emotional support crackhead deal with it”
“She got possessed by country satan”
“If you think about it toes are just little feet”
“Oh my god imagine if you pronounced Roosevelt like goose”
“Roosevelt got really sad when i broke up with him.”
“I love how I just classified reaper as its own state of being”
“So Santa’s not a cryptid”
“We’re not meat creatures like crabs”
“Do you want to be a famous writing?”
“Self care is becoming a breaded chicken tender on the weekends”
“You are a little yellow boy”
“I gotta look up how to have a stroke”
“At least you still have straight privilege”
“You piece of b*tch”
“Children having skulls is scary”
“You wanna crochet my friend a rat”
“If you kill yourself and you have a life insurance policy that your family then collects, is that insurance fraud?”
“Spaghetti man is talking about pregnancy and I’m scared”
“You’re the cutest trash I’ve ever seen”
“Poetry? Lame. DriversEd? Lame. Dousing myself in butter and becoming a dinner roll? F*ckin’ MINT”
“Finally, an invention to get rid of me” *zooms in on words garbage disposal*
“Is Swiper from Dora a furry or an actual fox?”
“I’m laughing because I just realized the word identity has t*tty in it”
“Oh my god I thought Paris was a country”
“Girl if you are having a baby this month the only thing you are birthing is FLAT Stanley”
“My eyes really said gardening”
“I snorted soapy water this morning”
“Intestines: do you really need them or are they a social construct?”
“I watched the first episode of that show illegally, and it was great”
“How much does a hit man cost in this economy?”
“Is santa wearing stripper heels?”
“No, I didn’t give birth to a baby cow”
“I am a whole grape not a raisin”
“I’ve decided on my career. I’m becoming a hit man for cheap”
“And you fought the tomato”
“You can be gay with the homeless”
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