Thick Thighs Save Lives
Synopsis: Alfred has two tattoos on his inner thighs. One side says "Thick thighs" and the other says "save lives." Arthur sees one of them...
Notes: I think Arthur would have different reactions based on which side he saw first. Also this was inspired by a chat I had with my friend on Discord. 💀
Tw: Cursing, stupidity, British people
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It was a hot day out, so Alfred was wearing a pair of those red basketball shorts that American guys love to wear for whatever reason.
He and Arthur were hanging out at the moment. Why? For plot convenience.
Alfred shifted a bit in his chair and his shorts rode up a little on one side. Arthur noticed a tattoo on Alfreds inner thigh, and read it.
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"Thick Thighs" side:
"...Alfred, what the actual fuck."
Alfred looked up from his phone, a bit confused. He knew that tone of voice. Arthur reserved it specifically for when he was disappointed in Alfred's dumb choices. (Which was often but shhhh).
Anyways, as far as Alfred was concerned, he hadn't done anything at that particular moment.
"What's wrong bro?"
"What in the bloody hell is that abomination of a tattoo on your thigh."
Alfred looked down for a moment, then back up at Arthur, a shit eating grin on his face.
"Why were you looking there, hm?"
Arthur looked a bit embarrassed.
"I simply noticed the writing is all. Now why the hell would you put that on your body permanently??"
"Eh, I was drunk as hell and did it on a whim."
Alfred decides not to show him the other thigh, which would make the message "Thick thighs save lives" instead of just "Thick thighs." He figures the latter would fuck with Arthur's head more.
"...Excuse me?"
Arthur has never looked more disappointed in his life. He fr looks like a tired mom. Somebody get him some alcohol, tea isn't cutting it anymore.
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"Save Lives" side:
"That's a nice tattoo, Alfred."
"Huh?"
Alfred follows Arthur's gaze and notices that his tattoo is visible.
"It's a rather nice message. And quite on point for someone obsessed with being a hero. Perhaps I should get something like that."
You know that face middle schoolers make when they succeed in making their friend say "what's ligma?" The smug, satisfied look they make before they shout out "LIGMA BALLS!" Yeah, that's exactly what Alfred's face looks like.
"Oh, that's not the whole tattoo."
Arthur looks rather curious. He honestly didn't even know Alfred had any tattoos until now, but he can't say he's all that surprised.
"May I see the rest of it?"
"Well, since you asked..."
He pulls aside the shorts on his other thigh to reveal to Arthur that it says "Thick Thighs." It takes him a moment to realize what the tattoos are saying, but once his tiny English brains works it out he looks absolutely done with Alfred's bullshit.
"You're a fucking twat."
Arthur is done with life. Finished. He craves d e a t h.
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I didn't write this with the intention of it being an AmericaxEngland, but it can be read as platonic or romantic.
No I absolutely did not put any real effort into making this good 💀
I take requests!! I typically write for Twisted Wonderland, but I'll gladly write for other fandoms.
Have a nice day my dears!!
The inspiration:
(I'm Duskymrel)
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How do countries call each other?
Like imagine Alfred calls Arthur and like calls Arthur's phone no with a +1 (coz that's America's phone number code) and like Arthur calls Alfred's no with +44(UK's phone no. Code)
I mean, it's alright for Mattie to call Alfred because both of their phone code is +1
But imagine like, other countries with the same phone code but different number of numbers in their phone numbers
Any thoughts on this?
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