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spacelazarwolf · 2 years

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actually yeah i would like to talk about how other queer people specifically were the reason it took me so long to come out as a gay trans man

(this is really fucking long, but especially if you’re not a trans man or trans masc, i’d like you to read it all the way through.)

as a preface, i’m not a kid. i’m a fully fledged adult who has been in the queer community for about ten years now, both online and offline. most of the queer people i know irl are my age or older. i turn 30 next year. also before you use the words ‘chronically online’, consider the fact that the things people say online are what they actually believe and will take out into the world with them.

anyway.

when i try to talk about transphobia directed at trans men and mascs from within the queer community, or lateral aggression from trans people who are not trans men or trans mascs (this is not just trans women and femmes, this includes any trans people who aren’t trans men or mascs. i have heard some vile shit out of the mouths of other ‘afab’* trans people), people often respond with “but cishets are the real enemy!!! they’re the ones causing all the actual damage and oppression!!!!!” and while i get the sentiment, that is where you’re wrong my friend. the thing causing my oppression isn’t cishets, it’s the cisheteropatriarchy. cishets tend to be the ones that chug that koolaid most readily, but queer people, even other trans people, have gleefully gulped down gallons of the stuff, and that specifically is what made it so difficult for me to accept myself and come out.

*i fucking hate the term ‘afab’ but this post is already so goddamn long

when i first entered the lgbtq community, it was on facebook in the early 2010′s. before that, i’d been stuck in a conservative small town and didn’t even know that not being a girl was an option. so obviously when i encountered a bunch of people that were like me, i was ecstatic and wanted to be a part of their community. because i still thought i was a girl at the time, i was immediately funneled into sapphic spaces. for the most part, they were great and lovely, i just felt left out because i couldn’t relate to the way they talked about their love of women. but i knew i was some sort of fruity, which meant clearly i was just repressing my attraction to women, so i needed to try harder to like women. some of this came from the things i’d heard in those groups, but a lot of it was just pressure from myself to deal with a reality that didn’t make sense.

the longer i spent in those groups, though, the more i ran into rhetoric like ‘men are inherently incapable of love and respect, it is impossible to be in a truly fulfilling relationship with a man’ and ‘masculinity is inherently evil and femininity is inherently good.’ some people tried to have nuance, but a lot, especially cis women, didn’t. in those groups, people were mocked for being in relationships with men, they were told that if they had a boyfriend they weren’t even allowed to mention it in the group because the group needed to be a ‘space completely free of men’, people were told that if they were being abused by a man then it was their fault because they should have been dating a woman instead, they should have known better. i was one of those people who was blamed for my own abuse.

as i started to realize that shit maybe i’m not a girl, there was a lot of pressure for me to make sure that i always stayed within the confines of ‘non man.’ because the second i slid over that line, it was over. i was lost. does that rhetoric sound familiar? it’s terf rhetoric, and the irony is that all of these spaces explicitly condemned terfs.

i was in a group for ‘non men’ and when people in the group came out as trans men, they were asked to leave. the network of groups that this one was connected to was of the mindset that trans men oppressed all nonmen, including cis women. the reasoning given was ‘it would be misgendering!!!!!!!’ but behind closed internet doors, the actual reasons were very clear. on a scale of ‘oppressed’ to ‘privileged’ it went trans women -> cis women -> trans men -> cis men, with nonbinary people being inserted into whatever category was most convenient for argument’s sake.

after that, i stuffed my doubts down for years, terrified of crossing that horrible threshold from ‘nonman’ to ‘man.’ even now, i still cling to the term ‘nonbinary’ because it makes other queer people view me as a more complex person. as soon as i started tentatively using the word ‘man’ to describe myself without all the disclaimers of ‘but don’t worry i’m not actually a man!!!!! i’m still a person!!!!!!!’, the way people interacted with me changed drastically.

i was the exact same person, still non-passing, still gender noncomforming, still someone with a very complex relationship to gender because of my sexuality and being autistic, but because that word ‘man’ was there, suddenly people felt they had the right to silence me and speak over me. cis women who were being blatantly transphobic dismissed me saying ‘i don’t argue with men’, queer people dismissed me saying ‘stop mansplaining’ and telling me that regardless of my presentation, regardless of how i was treated out in the world, i was still privileged because i identified with the label of ‘man.’

i made a video on tik tok about how traumatic it was to come to terms with being a man as someone who has been hurt by cis men, and an old mutual of mine started tagging me in cis men’s videos about unlearning toxic masculinity, telling me i needed to watch myself if i was going to be a man. another mutual also shared in that trauma, and theirs was exacerbated by a racial element. i tried to make more videos about my experiences, documented by journey with top surgery, but as soon as i started speaking loudly about including trans men and mascs in the fight for abortion rights, everything went downhill.

terfs started to find my account and get my videos taken down. queer cis women claimed i was ‘silencing women’ and used the ‘trans man’ in my bio to claim ‘mansplaining’ despite the fact i am nonpassing and the world sees me as a woman. a trans femme stitched one of my videos to chide me for saying that repealing roe v wade affected trans men and mascs, because i should have been talking about how it affected trans women and femmes and the rest of the queer community, not ‘centering men.’ a trans woman commented on their post in my defense, and they deleted her comment. after that, cis women reported by account by the dozens and i was eventually banned.

that’s when i realized, men hadn’t caused me trauma. the cisheteropatriarchy had caused me trauma. the system that had allowed my abusive ex to treat me the way he did, that allowed my friends to watch and say nothing, that allowed a woman who was a bystander in a public domestic violence incident to complain to us that we were ruining her day at the mall and threatening to call the police on both of us rather than standing up for someone who was literally publicly being physically attacked. the system that allowed cis women to say, quite literally, that because trans men and mascs were a numerical minority of the people who would be affected by the repealing of roe v wade that we shouldn’t be in the spotlight, that cis women should be centered, that it was somehow ‘misogyny’ to point out that anti-abortion laws quite literally would affect trans men and mascs more severely and in more ways than cis women.

women and other queer people may not have been the ones hitting me or writing these bills, but for years they were the ones telling me my abuse was my fault, that i was morally incorrect for being a man, that i could never love or be loved if i was a man, that i should sit down and shut up, regardless of how much my community was hurting and dying. that i would always be an afterthought, if even.

i think very often about two tik toks i saw of a trans masc person talking about transition, and one said “you spend the first half of your life being subjugated by the sins of men, then you transition and you spend the rest of your life paying for the sins of men” and the other commented about another user’s video saying “a beard, facial hair, stands in the way of this person being perceived as innocent and being perceived as capable of roofieing your drink.”

and i realized that’s part of why i’m terrified to go on t. completely separate from the fact that i have a career which relies on my voice so going on t would absolutely nuke that, i have already experienced so much aggression and isolation based on just identifying as a man. i cannot even begin to imagine how much worse it would get if i started to look ‘like a man.’ i have lamented the fact that i’m forced to lose my softness, whether i want to or not, that the very community that wants to break down barriers and liberate people are the ones who are forcing me into a box for the sake of convenience in online arguments.

and people can mock me and go on about ‘toxic masculinity’ all they want, but this is a hard truth about the community that we really need to start talking about, because i have absolutely no doubt that experiences like mine are what contributes to trans men and masc’s astronomically high rates of suicide, self harm, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.

i feel more like myself than i ever have in my life. and i also feel more isolated than i ever have in my life. there was a moment where things finally clicked for me, and for a fraction of a second i was so excited. i wanted to share my revelation with my community and be celebrated. but then i thought back about the way people had talked about men, trans men, masculinity, loving men, and that little tiny moment of celebration was brought to a screeching halt. i realized that every other time i’d seen a gay trans man or masc come out and talk about their gender and sexuality, the responses had been peppered with ‘sorry for ur loss’, ‘ew lol’, ‘so u chose to become a man?????’, ‘omg u have to date men and be a man????? i feel sorry for u lmao.’

and now as i delve into the dating pool as a gay trans man, i see that all this online bullshit isn’t just ‘chronically online,’ it’s manifested in real life too. the way queer trans men and mascs are treated as entitled for wanting to date cis queer men, the way people respond if we say we’re unhappy with just being a hookup or a fling because we should be happy anyone wanted us in the first place. the way we’re treated as fetishizers and freaks, the way people specifically search through the ‘ftm’ tag on grindr looking for ‘sissy boys/femme bottoms/etc’ then get angry when you don’t respond to them. the way other queer people respond to you when you try to talk about this. the way trans men and mascs who can’t go on t are treated as less than men but also aren’t allowed to talk about their experience of someone perceived as ‘less than men’, the way testosterone is spoken about in queer communities as a poison, as something that makes you ugly and disfigured and gross and dirty when for so many of us it’s literally lifesaving medical treatment. the way we can’t talk about the things we go through without random cis people dragging trans women and femmes into it when, even though there are some concerning trends of lateral violence that need to be discussed, most of the aggression comes from cis queer women.

so when trans men make posts or host events or just do anything to celebrate trans manhood and masculinity, and your first reaction is to make fun of us, project your frustration with the cisheteropatriarchy, or respond with “we don’t need positivity for men”, i want you to think about the number of trans men and mascs who kill ourselves, and i want you to think “maybe i should not say this, maybe i should just do this one thing to make life a little easier for them, even if i don’t get it.”

#trans #transgender #trans man #trans masc #queer #trans community #queer community #lgbtq #transphobia #transandrophobia #transmisandry #antimasculism #it does not fucking matter what we call it #what matters is that it's killing us and y'all don't want to acknowledge it

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charlywrites · 2 years

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Requested by anon

Request; Hi love! Can you please make some angst with Lewis, like he’s super stressed and you got into a terrible fight during race weekend because he says he can defend himself, but he ending in a podium makes him realised he was wrong and apologise to you? 🙏🏼

Warnings; mention of stress and pressure, a bit of swearing, a fight but not terrible because I can’t see Lewis being mean 😭

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

This season was tougher than the preceding ones, not only your boyfriend had his eighth championship- and absolute record, stolen from him, but this season’s car was a struggle.

She wasn’t living up to the expectations to say the least, and Lewis being himself, had suggested to the team to use his cars for the experiments instead of George’s.

It made the races even tougher as your boyfriend didn’t get a single win yet, of course, it would come at some point, after all, Lewis wasn’t the best for nothing.

But as if having a bad car wasn’t enough, added to the ending of the last season, Lewis was still receiving hate from rival team’s supporters claiming that he had never been that good, that he had only been lucky to have a fast car, or sometimes they would say that his career was over.

It disgusted you to see how even after everything he had done for this sport, every records he had broken and how many titles he had won over the years- he still wasn’t respected by a lot of people.

You knew the hate was just adding on the already present pressure, that it hurt him even if he wouldn’t speak about it too much. Ever since you started dating, Lewis had tried his best to shield you from the negativity towards you or him- and while he was doing a great job at that, you weren’t blind.

Usually, you wouldn’t intervene as you tried to avoid doing interviews and all that jazz, it felt more important to be by Lewis’ sides and tell him how he didn’t deserve any of the hate he was getting and how proud you were of him aswell as how much you loved him.

That being said, you had always felt like it wasn’t enough, even if he told you he didn’t need you to do more, that you being by his sides was all he needed- it wasn’t helping you feeling any better about the situation.

Lewis couldn’t always be the one to protect you, you wanted to do the same for him. Even if it meant that you’d be more exposed to the famous side of his life. You weren’t a celebrity, you’d never consider yourself as one- you were a random person who happened to date the best Formula One driver in the history.

———

It was only friday and it had been quite a rough week for Lewis, a new wave of hate had happened earlier this week and you had seen how down he had been feeling ever since- even if he had tried to hide it.

For the past two weeks, Mercedes had brought new upgrades to the cars and it was starting to improve the results- it had been enough for some idiots to start posting hate against Lewis on social medias.

Of course, you were here to try to cheer him up like you always would but this time, it didn’t seem to work out very well- you couldn’t blame him for that, it wasn’t an easy task to ignore hateful comments.

So, when you were heading to the Mercedes’ garage after you went to say hi to some of the drivers’ girlfriend who became your friends, you were stopped by a journalist, “ hello y/n, we know that you don’t like interviews but we still wanted to give it a shot- what do you have to say about the recent comments Lewis received?”

Usually, you would excuse yourself and say you had nothing to tell them, that you didn’t want your face to be shown on tv but it was also your chance to say what you had on your heart, “ we all know why it happened again- they’re scared that Mercedes is improving on their cars, they’re scared that they’ll soon have to watch their teams compete for the podiums against Mercedes.”

As soon as your little monologue was over, you excused yourself with a polite smile and left right away. Heading straight to the Mercedes’ garage, you met right away with your boyfriend who definitely looked upset.

Frowning, you wondered what was going on, maybe something was wrong with his car you thought, that’s why you questioned him, “ what’s wrong?”

“ I heard what you said to that journalist.”

“ Already? It was live?”

By now, you had followed your boyfriend to a calmer side of the garage to have some kind of privacy, “ it was- why did you say that?”

“ I just wanted to defend you?”

“ I can defend myself, I don’t need you to do it for me.”

“ I know you can defend yourself babe, I’m not saying otherwise. You’re always trying to protect me from the hate and all that, I don’t see why I can’t do the same for you?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lewis sighed loudly- a clear sign that he was more than annoyed with the situation and conversation, “ this season has been so bad, I don’t need people to think that I need my girlfriend to talk for me.”

“ What does that even mean?”

“ Just don’t do it again, okay? I don’t want you to defend me, I can have my own back.”

It was your turn to become annoyed at the conversation- you had done nothing wrong, you didn’t even understand why he was upset with you to begin with, “ don’t worry about that, I’ll never defend you again- oh and honestly? Fuck you.”

And with that, you left him there, you were fuming and in no way you would stay in the garage to watch the practices, instead you headed directly to the paddock where you’d be watching the two practices from.

———

As the weekend went by, you stayed upset at your boyfriend, avoid any form of contact or interaction with him- it was petty but you didn’t care, and it wasn’t like he was trying to make it better in any way, he was ignoring you half of the time.

You had no idea for how long this situation would keep going, you could understand he needed to cool down and during a race weekend it wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do.

Even mad at him, you still understood that he needed time and were willing to give it to him- and you weren’t the one in the wrong here. The pressure and stress were hard to handle and maybe he needed to let everything out for once.

That’s what you were telling yourself at least. No matter what was going on, as it was now sunday, you were supporting your boyfriend at a hundred percent. You believed in him and knew he could get back at the top, where he belonged.

By the end of the Grand Prix, Lewis had done it- he was back on the podium after a couple of races without being on it. Today wasn’t a win, only a third place, but in that car, it was an achievement. It was only a matter of weeks until Lewis would win again.

Throughout the whole weekend, you kept watching the practices and races in the paddock, thinking it was for the best after the fight Lewis and you had on friday. But still, you couldn’t not attend the podium.

Usually, you would be in the front line, proudly cheering for the love of your life, but this time, you would blend in the group, hoping that Lewis wasn’t going to see you- you didn’t want to ruin his podium if he didn’t want you around for now.

You couldn’t help but smile during the whole podium celebration- you knew how much Lewis and Mercedes needed this podium after those hard weeks, how hard they had worked on the cars to be able to compete with the top two teams again.

Once the celebration was over, each driver went back to their team to enjoy the moment a little longer. You tried to make yourself as small as possible, but it seemed like Lewis had spotted you from the podium as he directly made his way to you, “ I wasn’t sure you’d come to the podium.”

You shrugged at his comment, unsure of how to react, “ I didn’t know if you wanted me to or not.”

“ Of course, I wanted you there with the team, that’ll never change.”

“ Are you sure? I was afraid that it was going to ruin your podium.”

Lewis’ face dropped at your words, becoming way more serious all of a sudden, he took a step closer as he apologized, “ when I was on the podium and saw you there, I realized how much I fucked up. It’s not an excuse, but all the pressure of not being in the title fight, to not live up to the expectations this season- it was unfair to get angry at you when all you did was trying to protect me.”

“ It hurt me to hear you didn’t want me to defend you, you know? I’m your girlfriend, it’s literally part of my job to have your back, and even if you don’t like it- I won’t stop.”

Your boyfriend cracked a smile at your answer, relieved to learn that you weren’t too mad at him anymore, “ I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you. I really didn’t want that.”

“ Just talk to me next time instead of being an ass, yeah?”

“ I will, I promise. Can I get my podium kiss and hug now?”

You laughed at his demand, he almost sounded like a child, making you his puppy eyes so you wouldn’t say no- how could you even think of say no to this face anyways.

Usually, Lewis would have gotten his hug and kiss for making it to the podium already, but due to the situation, it was way later this time- but still, it felt just as enjoyable, maybe even more now that everything had been sorted out.

#lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #x reader #mercedes amg f1 #request

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the-gentleman-pining · 7 months

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Decided to rewatch OFMD S2 eps 1-3 and actually jot down my thoughts as I go! Oh what fun! Ngl this is mostly for me babes but if you enjoy it that's neat ❤️

Episode 1: Impossible Birds

Stede bearded in his dream could just be playing to swashbuckling archetypes for funsies, but is it some lingering wish that he was more masculine?

Con O'Neil truly graceful about it with the sword huh

"WHERE IS HE. WHERE'S ED?" Stede seeing Izzy as the thing that is keeping Ed from him when he's the one that left lol ok

His idealised version of Ed doesn't hold him accountable either. My mans doesn't want to face what he did at all!!

His first words to Ed in his letter are reassuring him that the crew are safe, as if he doesn't remember that Ed marooned them and left them for dead on purpose??

I know it's meant to be funny but Jackie was a bit of a sex pest toward Swede at first and the power dynamic was a bit 🫤 Glad he was into it in the end!

WHY DOES WEE JOHN SLAM THE HEAD OF THE ONE WHO GOT STABBED INTO THE TABLE INSTEAD OF THE ONE WHO STABBED THEM?? 😂

Stede truly is unphased by people being assholes to him and I just,,, respect it.

Ricky your vibes are strange and unsettling

Who in their right mind would have an ocean wedding in the golden age of piracy?? I know they probs didn't know it was the golden age of piracy while they were in it but STILL

Ed looks so dead behind the eyes 😭 Just going through the motions eh buddy?

Dressed up like the book Blackbeard I see. God he's trying so hard to inhabit this character.

I would die for Archie. Truly the himbo we need in these depressing angst riddled times.

Jim asking someone else how they're bottling things up?? Hello?? Who are you and what have you done with Jim?? Aren't you the bottling up Master? Olu bewitched you too good and now you've unlocked Feelings 😔

"He's actually a good guy" Stede babygirl did we actually forget the marooning???

I have so much I could say about how Izzy and Blackbeard's relationship has deteriorated hhhhh,,,, Izzy is a problem child but I'm so glad the story is crashing towards his character actually growing and changing. In season 1 he at least got the crumbs Ed would throw him like "I need you here", now he's only getting abuse and maybe he's throwing himself at it because he recognises he had a part to play in reaching this point and believes he deserves it.

Fang's delivery on "how you doing Izzy" will keep me warm and fed all winter. Masterclass in approaching someone, truly tender and genuine but not too pressuring. God.

That second "unhand me" hhh the panic of realising you're going to start crying if the situation continues

Con is gonna rip my heart out and eat it this season if I'm not careful

Labour exploitation Jackie what a girlboss x

Why does "you'll be having a lot of breakfastseses together" sound so ominous though 😭 Smeagol Jackie my worstie...

Stede doing Blackbeard Voice is adorable but damn he really doesn't believe that he made Ed's life better. Like how??? Why doesn't Stede equate happiness with better? Ed was explicitly happier around you ya dingus!

Swede deserves his married bliss so much. The crew can be so mean to him!!

"What am I to you" and "I have... love for you" are said so softly I'm gonna be sick,, Izzy you fucked it by wrestling this man into this particular coping mechanism and your tenderness is coming wayyyy too late. Heartbreaking tbh cause the guy didn't know how else to help Ed and now he's realising it could have been different. Sick and twisted little dynamic I'm eating it like good soup.

Definitely supposed to be taken that Izzy didn't realise "talk it through" was a Stedeism as he said it but godddd you idiot dude

Once again god bless you Archie I'd die for you

Fang I want to rescue you hhhhhh my hot topic fashionista must be so dehydrated from all these tears!!!

No way in hell Ed expected anything else out of Izzy's mouth than something about Stede, but god I wish the guy had just payed attention to Frenchie shaking his head. The catharsis of saying the quiet part out loud wasn't worth your leg, man.

"Start by cleaning up that mess"... yeah we def see Ed is killing people himself again but outsourcing the Big Job on Izzy makes sense. He's also exactly the kind of self sabotager atm that would know Frenchie won't do it, and he's looking for reasons to Be Worse.

Indigo heist my beloved. Fuck those hammies up!! I love how loud Black Pete was omg 😂

Oh fuck off Ricky I know you're a S1 Stede mirror but you're doing it detestably

Roach why is your instinct to immediately put the blue dirt on your face darling

Zheng Yi Sao completely unphased by Jackie is giving me so much delight

Sexy Dutchman 😭😂 Jackie never change

I love that Zheng Yi Sao is taking the whole crew on just to have her lil Olu moment, get it girl

TENDER JIM IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM THEY'VE COME SO FAR. I LOVE THEIR BIG SMILE 😭 (also Archie is so wholesome what is she DOING here???)

Ed oh my god you're not alright at ALL

Frenchie's quiet "sounds like a plan" is just so... painful. The acting this season is off the charts.

When Roach asked if they were in soup now I thought he was referring to the ocean as soup I'm an idiot 😭

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #stede bonnet #edward teach

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alkalineleak · 1 year

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when i think of gillion and caspian, one of the first things to IMMEDIATELY pop into my mind is their relationship regarding the undersea, specifically leaving. be warned, this is a bit of a LONG ramble:) for the sake of time, ill only be focusing on gillions side of things

leaving home is one of the biggest things you can do because then you either learn to govern yourself or be controlled by what was taught by you.

its a very strict binary that tears you up from the inside out as you switch sides, for the better or for the worst. i look at this and i look between those two it is immediately so FUCKING apparent how the cycle of learning and restructuring your thinking process is stored between them. thats how they live, thats how they dance around each other in each others head

gillion is pretty obvious. when he was a child he was cold.

the thousands of pounds of pressure did not make up for a lack of warmth that was offered and redirected into an inhumane idol to be looked and wished upon like a shooting star. in the same way i think he learned that he will not last forever, and so the moments he have have to hold some merit, some sort of worth. now imagine him, kicked out of a home he didnt want to miss, a family who was kept in the dark and left to the fate of the seas. and the seas decided he would live. So it had to be for a purpose, correct? thats how the ocean works, it kills it births and then it repurposes whatever is left as food for whatever is lucky enough to make it out alive. hes been repurposed from whatever failure he was in that damned city to be something greater, something new.

Then comes along Caspian, right? And he wrecks all the things gillion thought he knew.

He values leisure, the small simple things. hes a man who could run his hands across anything just to feel the textures YET, he knows how to fight. fight better than how gillion does, though not surprising. he was always told he was subpar for a hero handpicked by gods and a cannibilistic sea This brings him to a crossroad. he has his goals - live comfortably, enjoy things while you can, hes one of the biggest epicurists he could think of, and gill shares a ship with chip whos impulse drives mistakes and successes alike. and there, he finds the difference between the different flavors of hedonism: calculation.

Caspian is fucking smart.

gillion can see it in how he weaves between people and shops respectively, in how he can change his demeanor to achieve a goal. his charisma has a motive every time he uses it, it has a purpose every damn time he employs a joking manner or a flirtatious tone. its all calculated to hell and back, and it entices him because THAT is what he was meant to do and learn. he follows him helplessly because he has parts of his home with him, both negative and positive he NEEDS to see how to do it all, what it all fucking meant (maybe along the way hed find what he was missing all these years). but every time he tries he hits a roadblock because caspian, free and live, contradicts EVERYTHING the elders taught him. hes impossible to exist as a paragon.

And then without having the chance to ask himself, caspian offers out his hand, and offers to teach him.

ANOTHER time he got chosen, he dreaded it when it happened. hes nothing but a follower. from the prophecy to Careless elders to Awful teachers, its what he does worst. He accepted regardless. he was impulsive like that. a decision like that could get him killed one day. hed get scolded for acting so quickly on something he barely knew, but its just a wound to post pone treating. just like every other one hes ever had

he tries to bring his familiarity with harsh treatment and punishment, but instead every time hes prepared to learn something, he gets something to heal instead

Its fucking frustrating, to be completely honest. FIRST, it is a gentle fixing of his mistakes as if this happening in the real world could cost him his home and people. he has more targets than ever, yknow. from chip and jay, to ollie and wherever he came from, to every person hes protected and saved in every individual island, as well as the sea and everyone on it. every single person the moon protects with her waves and every person the sun scorches too harshly. its all up to him hes tried to bring it up, but caspian just tugged at his determination to learn and improve, and gillions a follower before anything. he follows a prophecy, he follows chip and jay over an unfamiliar world, he follows wherever his blade lands to avoid a hit.

Gillion started noticing how smoothly he started moving

it was terrifying, despite being his active goal. It got less scary when he started hearing caspians smile creep over from the caunch shell after what had to be a hundred hours of calling and training

its different from jay or chip teaching him the world, because if it truely disturbed gillion to stop the stagnation carved into him he could just chalk it up into a cultural difference.

in cases where he clung on desperately to what he built himself around, he could go as far as to simplify it all into a moral inferiority, something he needs to teach instead because hes a hero. he must spread good and purge evil. unfortunately those sometimes meant damaging his fucked up sense of honor and pride for something he wasnt even familiar with beyond scrolls that keep getting manipulated in translations and a sword thats awkwardly weighted when he held it.

gillion would say its alien, but he keeps catching details of his home

he sees it in the 23 pieces of jewelry across caspians face. he sees it in the way he dances, always caught slightly offguard that he isnt in the air as long as he wanted to be. he sees it in the small amount of times gravity caught his friend by surprise, even if a change in which foot caspian placed all his weight hid it to everyone else. he sees it in how caspian taught him the dances for songs he could only ever hear behind closed doors.

He keeps seeing suggestions that maybe his home was harmful in general, but thats bullshit. Could a purely cruel place make his sister? his mother who fought to keep him? his grandfather who was the only one who knew how to properly teach him his own history? No.

And Caspian all but confirms it. the ocean is not inherently harmful, it just wants to live in the same way he keeps repressing.

He builds a new home for himself above water, but not absent of it.

#gillion tidestrider #jrwi caspian #jrwi swordfish #jrwi riptide #thoughts leaking out #Oh yeah baby lets go #do you GET IT #do you UNDERSTAND ME #im INSANE i feel fucking SICK !!!!!!!

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only-mostlydead · 4 months

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Hello. Today is my 30th birthday, and I am in bed recovering from surgery. To entertain myself, I wrote up a list of 30 things I'm glad I learned before I turned 30, and now I'm sharing it with you. Take what resonates, leave what doesn't.

30 Things I'm Glad I Learned Before I Turned 30

You can decline to be weighed at the doctor's office. Seriously. Unless they're dosing meds or need to report it to your insurance for something, you can say no thanks. And if they have to weigh you, you can request that they don't tell you the number.

Fed is better than not fed. There are days when my stomach won't tolerate anything except cheese puffs, so I eat the damn cheese puffs, without judgment. Feed yourself the best you can, and know that this will look different every day

Eventually, people will always tell you who they really are. Believe them the first time (this one comes from my mom).

Not living up to family expectations is very often a good thing. Your life needs to make you happy. You are your own person with no obligation to be what they want you to be.

Having a creative hobby that you're not "good" at is important. For me, it's watercolors. I do them because they bring me joy, not because I'm trying to be good at them. That's not to say that I don't love what I paint - I do. But there's no pressure for it to be anything other than fun.

Your job doesn't have to be fulfilling - it can just be a fundraiser for the things in your life that do bring you fulfillment.

Mental health is every bit as important as physical health. Don't neglect either.

When you have nothing to be sorry for, say thank you instead. Thank you for listening instead of sorry I bothered you, thank you for helping me instead of sorry I needed help. I'm not always good at this one.

Throw away the clothing with holes. You deserve clothing that doesn't have holes.

Your clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around. Your body is the thing that carries you through your life. Clothes that don't fit are just scraps of fabric who aren't meeting their performance goals.

Everything is figure out-able. This one also comes from my mom.

Laziness doesn't really exist; it's almost always a response to something else (burnout, low self-esteem, etc).

Being your most authentic self is scary. It's also 100% worth it. Life has gotten better every time I've been even a tiny bit more myself.

There is no timetable for when you should hit certain milestones. You are not behind. You are on your own time.

Femininity means whatever I want it to mean, not what society tells me it means. Everything I do is feminine because I say it is, and no one can tell me otherwise.

Your job doesn't care about you. If you disappeared from the face of the earth, they would replace you immediately. You should bring them the same energy. You're the only one who will look out for you.

Use your PTO. Every damn second of it. When I started my current job, I was told that no one used all of their time off. I do. Every year.

Dieting literally does not work. Scientifically. Reading up on the Minnesota Starvation Experiment, Famine Response, and why BMI is literally sexist, racist bullshit changed my life.

Doctors might be experts in their respective fields, but they are not experts in what it's like to live in your body. Whenever possible, find one who makes you an active participant in your care plan.

Wear whatever the hell you want. Life is too short to worry what other people will think.

Live theatre, good meals, and beautiful tattoos are always worth the money.

Anger isn't inherently bad. Most of the time, it's your signal that something is wrong. This is the most impactful thing my therapist ever taught me as an ex-vangelical who grew up hearing that anger was a sin.

Don't put down the things that bring others joy. If they're not hurting you, themself, or anyone else, why waste your energy?

You cannot miss out on the things that are meant for you. If you miss it, it wasn't meant for you, and you should probably be grateful you missed it.

If I'm too much, go find less.

You are always responsible for your actions. Diagnoses, negative life experiences, and the like might explain bad behavior, but it doesn't excuse it. You are responsible for you.

Your feelings are always valid, but they are not always correct.

Go outside. Every day if you can. Even if it's for 30 seconds. Go get some fresh air on your face and look at a tree. If you can't make it outside, open a window, even just for a minute. Your brain will thank you.

You can leave. Hate the fitness class? Leave. Party too loud? Leave. Doctor not listening? L e a v e. As the famous tumblr post goes, if it sucks, hit da bricks!

You need nothing days. Days where you intentionally do absolutely nothing and feel zero guilt for that. Sit in bed, binge a Netflix show, eat some snacks, and don't think about all the things you're not doing. Let yourself rest, dammit.

#30th post

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shion-yu · 3 months

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Wait for Tomorrow

My entry for the spot “Hospital” for @hurtcomfort-bingo. 2,271 words, TW for hospital, chronic illness, discussion about potential death of a parent. Ft. OCs Cliff (toyhouse) and Al (toyhouse), plus their respective partners Elliot and Theo.

The organ transplant unit reeks of hope and loss. There’s always someone who has just received something new and life changing, a very tangible second chance which is only thanks to someone else’s great sacrifice. There’s a little room that always has coffee and snacks, a room for meditating, a little gym, and a room that’s just for crying in. A huge window stretches across the entire end of the unit looking over the city providing sprawling views of the outside world: a world that people like Cliff needs to stay away from because it’s full of germs that could kill him.

Cliff’s thirty-one. He hoped he’d have more time to delay this, but he’d contracted aspergillosis at Christmas, right before Mia’s third birthday. Instead of celebrating his happy and healthy little girl on her special day, Cliff had been unconscious in the ICU, intubated. He’s only gotten to see her in person twice since waking up and it’s March now. Kids aren’t usually allowed on the unit because of the risk of infection. The doctor had let them break that rule twice, and Cliff knows he should be more grateful for it but he isn’t. He wants more, always more.

He misses his daughter more than he can stand. Elliot visits nearly every day and calls at least twice per day. He sends Cliff plenty of videos but it isn’t the same as being there. He watches Mia say new words only second hand through recordings and he’s not there to clap for her as soon as it happens. He’s not there to read to her and kiss her pudgy little cheeks goodnight. He wants to be there for everything, but instead he’s stuck here in this negative-pressure hallway. It’s a beautiful new unit, nicer and sunnier than any Cliff's ever been on before, and yet it feels like a prison.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels the couch he’s sitting on dip and Al silently hands him a tissue. Cliff mumbles a thank you and removes his oxygen to blow his nose, coughing into the tissue afterwards.

“Ugh. I hate crying,” he sniffles to Al. Al pats his back to try and comfort him, but doesn’t tell him it will all be okay. They’re both realistic enough to know that’s not always the case.

“Me too,” Al says. “Hate getting snot in my oxygen.” He smiles knowingly with a humor that only someone experiencing the same thing as Cliff could really muster. Cliff laughs wetly, dries his eyes and puts his nasal cannula back in. He clears his throat and tries to remind himself that things could always be worse.

Al is waiting for his second set of lungs while Cliff waits for his first. Al got new lungs fifteen years ago, he says, which was a pretty good run of it. They’re not doing so well anymore, but he tells Cliff that he believes the medications are so much better these days. Al never had any kids, but Cliff can see that Al’s wistful about that fact. He acts almost like a father figure to Cliff while they’re stuck on this ward together, although age wise he’d be more like Cliff’s older brother. Cliff thinks it’s funny - when he was nineteen he did a summer internship with Al’s partner, Theo, at Theo’s law firm. He vaguely remembers seeing pictures of Al back then and Theo mentioning his partner was on the transplant list, but it hadn’t really meant anything to him at the time. He’d just said sorry and never thought about it again. He hadn’t known back then how privileged he was to have that mean nothing to him.

Theo recognized him when he came to visit Al, shortly after Cliff had left the ICU and was moved to this floor. Cliff was being pushed down the hall by Elliot when they heard a voice say, “Cliff Barrows?!” It was then that they made the connection that the new patient Al had made friends with was the same person Theo had once been a mentor to. Cliff mostly remembers Theo as unabashedly gay, something he didn’t think was possible for a lawyer at that time. He looks the same now, Cliff thinks, just a bit older and his hair’s starting to go gray.

Theo asked Cliff if he ever became a lawyer. Cliff laughed and said, “No, I got sick and became a stay at home dad instead.”

Theo grinned at him the same way he had back when he was a teenager. “A dad!” He exclaimed. “Even better than a lawyer.”

Being a dad was better than being a lawyer, Cliff thought to himself. Being a lawyer was his dream and losing it had been incredibly painful at the time. Now, though, he can see it made way for other things in his life. He got back together with Elliot, they got married, and they had their beautiful daughter. Cliff wouldn’t have it any other way - except for the part where he’s stuck here, now. There’s no silver lining to this part, he thinks.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Al asks him gently. He has a way of saying this that makes it easy to confess everything, but also easy to say no if Cliff wanted to. He’s so calming and impartial. Cliff thinks he feels far better after his chats with Al than he ever did after therapy.

“Mia is going to pre-school in the fall. Elliot’s out visiting a few right now to see which one fits her. Both of us should be there, but it’s only him.” Cliff’s voice breaks sadly at the end of the sentence and he can’t say anything more.

Al nods. “That must be really hard,” he says gently. “I’m sorry you can’t be there too. I’m sure Elliot will make a great choice though.”

“Oh, definitely,” Cliff says. “I know that. But it’s not fair that he has to do it alone.”

“I understand,” Al says. He doesn’t have kids, but Cliff thinks he’s probably the closest person to actually understanding so he nods.

They stay there a bit longer just watching the sunset until they know they have to be back in their rooms at 7pm-8pm for shift change. Cliff doesn’t see the point, because every nurse on the unit already knows them and their details intimately, but nevertheless they insist on bedside report every twelve hours. Sometimes Cliff pretends he’s sleeping just so they’ll do it in the hallway so he doesn't have to hear all the depressing details one more time. He feels like nothing ever really happens, anyways. Sometimes he has good days, sometimes bad. He doesn’t feel the need to summarize further. Either way, he’s been here for months and won’t be going anywhere until they find him a pair of new lungs.

The idea that some poor stranger has to die for him to live bothers Cliff immensely, but since he’s had Mia he no longer questions if it’s the right thing to do. It’s not that he’s no longer morally confused, he is. But he’ll do anything to see his little girl grow up now, his role as a husband and a father the most important things to him in the world.

When Mia was born, that was the first time Cliff was actually happy to be in the hospital. She was so tiny, Cliff asked if something was wrong with her. No, they told him, she was perfect. He agreed. She was absolutely perfect.

Fatherhood suited Cliff far more than he had expected it would, considering his own parents had never been good examples. But as the stay-at-home parent and a perfectionist, Cliff naturally made it his job to do everything right. And in the process, he found he loved every moment with Mia, even the difficult ones. He kept her close to him and was always hyper vigilant about her wellbeing. He read many, many books. And every afternoon he’d tie up Rosie, their rescue dog, to the stroller and take a slow walk down the street. While their home was located in a nice neighborhood in Brooklyn, Cliff didn’t think New York City pollution was very good for either his own or his child’s lungs. However the socialization was important (for both of them) and more importantly, he wanted Mia to grow up to love people. He never wanted her to hide away from society like he had. And he never wanted her to doubt that her fathers didn’t love her and wanted to spend time with her.

He’s nursing a bad headache in bed when Elliot calls him to say goodnight. Cliff answers because he always answers Elliot no matter what. Back when they were younger Elliot barely left Cliff’s side when he had to spend long stretches in the hospital, but with their daughter it had to be different. She’s their priority, not Cliff, and they had promised to give her as normal of an upbringing as possible. Even with a chronically ill dad and famous papa. They had been doing a pretty good job of it, Cliff thinks. Sure she’d spent a lot of her early childhood in recording studios and doctors offices thanks to her dads, but she was happy and loved. That’s what mattered. It’s still what matters, but it’s so much harder when she doesn’t understand why one of them is suddenly nearly missing from their home, only available through video calls each night.

Elliot’s face pops onto the screen of Cliff’s phone. His black curly hair looks long and messy. He has dark circles under his eyes and Cliff’s heart aches knowing it’s his fault that he has to be a single parent right now. Still, his tone is cheerful and he smiles when Cliff answers. Mia is sitting in her chair at the dinner table behind him. “Hey babe,” he says. “It’s all dark, do you have the lights off?”

“Yeah, hang on,” Cliff says. He reaches over to turn on the lights even though they’re way too bright for his aching head. He squints at his family and puts on his reading glasses.

“Headache?” Elliot asks automatically. They’ve been married - been dealing with Cliff’s illness - for way too long for him not to know exactly what to expect. Cliff nods. “Aww, that sucks,” Elliot says. “Here, Mia will make you feel better.”

Elliot moves around so that Mia is in full view and can see Cliff on the camera. Her face is messy with grains of rice stuck to her cheeks. Cliff chuckles. “Hi baby girl. Dinner’s kind of late, isn’t it?”

“Daddy!” Mia squeals happily. “Rice and chicken and peas.” Cliff assumes that’s what was on the menu for tonight. It’s what looks like is stuck to her hands, anyways.

“I got home late,” Elliot explains, “Haven’t even showered yet. God bless Paula.” Their nanny, always willing to stay later than planned when she needed to. She was brilliant, but Cliff felt sad every time he remembered she was doing the job he was supposed to be doing.

“Lion!”

“Yes, Mia, good girl,” Elliot says, poking the lion on her bib that she was wearing. She laughs. God Cliff misses that laugh. It sounds entirely different in person - in person it’s like he can feel it with his whole body. “Cliff? Hello? Anything new?”

Cliff realizes he’s been zoning out for several seconds and shakes his head. “No. Nothing new. Same old boring hospital.”

“Boring’s not a bad thing,” Elliot reminds him. Yeah, Cliff thinks. He could be in a coma still, that’s true. But he’d rather be at home fostering Mia’s newfound love for lions this week. They talk for a few more minutes but Cliff’s head hurts a lot and Elliot can tell, even though Cliff doesn’t say anything. He and Mia blow kisses to Cliff through the screen. Cliff closes his eyes and pretends he can feel them hugging him.

Elliot moves to the living room for a moment to ask Cliff privately, “Are you okay?”

“I just really miss you guys,” Cliff said. He takes a shaky breath. He doesn’t want to cry again.

“I know,” Elliot says. “We really miss you too. But we never know what might happen tomorrow! Or the next day.”

Cliff nods. He’s not an optimist like Elliot is, but he listens to his husband. It’s the only way he can continue on here when there’s so much waiting for him at home. “I love you,” Cliff says. “Thank you for everything.”

Elliot’s brow furrows in concern. “Are you sure you’re okay? Why are you thanking me?”

“No special reason,” Cliff says, forcing a tired smile. “I just want you to know it.”

“Okay,” Elliot says slowly, a bit puzzled. “Well... thanks.”

“Don’t thank me for thanking you. Then I have to double thank you.”

Elliot laughs. Cliff’s relieved he took that worried expression off Elliot’s face. He doesn’t want to make Elliot worry about him more just because Cliff’s missing home while Elliot is working so hard to hold everything in their family together. “Goodnight, Cliffy. Go to sleep. I love you and so does Mia. Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Love you too.” Cliff hangs up and he thinks about tomorrow. Another day of phone calls and the hospital and being far away from his family. He doesn’t know how long he can keep doing this, but he has no other choice. He’s never been so determined to stay alive. Mia’s growing up with two dads, not one, he tells himself. So he’ll keep waiting, forever if he has to.

#shionwrites #hurtcomfortbingo #oc: cliff #oc: elliot #oc: albert #oc: theo #hurt comfort #angst #hospital setting #whump #male whump #chronic illness whump #hospital whump #medical whump

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wallflowerimagines · 11 months

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YOU WRITE FOR BIOSHOCK??? PLS CAN WE GET DATE HEADCANONS FOR DIANE MCCLINTOCK I CAN TREAT HER SO MUCH BETTER THAN RYAN

GOOD!!!! YOU HAVE MY BLESSING!!!!

Warnings: 18+ suggestive implications, borderline cheating? I mean it's implied cucking of Andrew Ryan as he simultaneously gets dumped over the phone because I think it's funny 🤷

Diane McClintock First Date Headcannons

First things first: Andrew Ryan is a sonofabitch

Unfortunately, he is the exact type of sonofabitch that could prey on someone like Diane McClintock.

Diane has been raised a certain way that primed her for this Trainwreck of a relationship. Women are to be seen and not heard, and to be loved is the same thing as being taken care of. Andrew Ryan, despite his emotional distance, did take care of her.

The Bastard Founder of Rapture kept her at his beck and call for physical needs, and occasionally called her so that he could rant about his problems, but their relationship was never equal. Ryan wouldn't have wanted that, but the real tragedy is that Diane didn't think she needed it.

After all, Ryan was a visionary. A great man! He was fascinating, passionate and driven, and let Diane of all people witness his thought process and listen to him. When he wasn't thinking about Rapture, he might even take her out to dinner, at at that dinner give her a full set of diamond jewelry -- tennis bracelet included, of course! -- just because it would make her eyes sparkle. Wasn't that respect? Wasn't that love?

And he was so stressed all the time, so worried about the success and the future of Rapture... All Diane had to do was be supportive. She felt silly asking for more.

(No matter how empty she felt.)

So when you come along and actually engage with her intellectually? Oh, Diane is already halfway in love with you.

She's a smart cookie, and you actually acknowledge that. When you first met her, she was busy drinking her sorrows away at some high society party. And instead of using a sleazy pick up line, or offering to get her drunker, you recognize her as Ryan's partner and start to engage with her ABOUT RAPTURE.

Not just planning and infrastructure, but the philosophy behind the city. Did she come to the city for it's libertarian ideals? What are her thoughts on objectivism? Did she think it was even reasonable to build a city under the sea?

She can't remember the last time someone engaged with her so authentically. And you're not mindlessly agreeing with every point she makes either! You actually argue with Diane if you disagree with anything she says.

AND YOU LET HER DISAGREE WITH YOU. Diane is floored. She can't remember a time when she hasn't been pressured to agree with whomever she's speaking with, even simple acquaintances. (Again FUCK ANDREW RYAN)

The more you speak with her, the more you're drawn in, and the feeling is very much mutual. You ask for her opinion on everything, and you actually take her thoughts into account.

Your motivations are your own but they all boiled down to a simple truth--Diane is a gorgeous woman and you wanted to engage with her. She was fascinating, an everyman's intellectual (meant in the most flattering way possible). She's the sort of star worth approaching.

Diane can easily pick up on your genuine interest. The best part is that not only do you see HER as a whole person, but you're also great to talk to. You're funny! Interesting! Engaging! ....And very, very cute.

By the end of the night, you've burrowed into her brain. Diane is determined to see you again.

Despite the looming specter of Andrew Ryan hovering over you both, she asks you to dinner. Not a Date but... A "Talk".

A talk is innocent enough! Why not?

Your "Talk" is quite simple: a few days later, in a small booth at the back of a mid-tier restaurant where the two of you have enough privacy to speak about whatever crosses your mind.

However, when you show up, Diane is already there... Absolutely Dressed. To. Kill.

Something makes her want to really impress you, and not JUST with what she has to say. So when she tugs you down into the booth and starts chatting with you excitedly, she's also trying to get your every aspect of your focus.

Diane knows how to look her best, what angles of light flatter her features the most, and just the right movements that draw attention to just the right places.

When you look down, she crosses and uncrosses her legs, the slit of her dress separating in the most tantalizing way. She draws your attention to her lips, tilts her head to expose the column of her throat, gestures her fingers in such a way that forces your gaze to follow her neckline and keep going...

And as intellectual as you are, and as much as you might have been drawn in by her opinions... it's, uh, REALLY hard to be immune to that kind of attention.

(To a woman who wants to be heard just as much as she wants to be wanted, your flustered gaze and distracted rambling is everything she hoped it would be ❤️)

At the end of the night, Diane's heartbeat is loud enough that she can hear it in her ears. She's not a love at first sight kind of gal, but she is a big believer in The Spark of Chemistry going on between you both.

It's already a better start than any relationship she's ever had before.

It's not that hard for her to convince you to head back to her penthouse for a nightcap, and from there the conversation continues, toeing the line into addressing the palpable tension between you.

With you beside her on her settee, Diane talks to you honestly about her present and future, about giving up a life of comfort, about how Andrew defined freedom and how trapped she felt within that narrative... and she wonders at the stab of pain in her chest at the understanding smile on your face as you get up and offer to leave.

Diane pulls you back down into a searing kiss that has you borderline delirious. Her choice is obvious. You are NOT complaining. 💖

...And then her private phone rings. The exclusive line. Ryan.

Unhooking the phone, Diane puts a finger to her lips with a grin, and you match her mischief immediately, moving your attention elsewhere.

You're pressing kisses into her neck, marking up her skin with teeth and tongue and moving down, down, down as Diane breathlessly twirls the phone cord in her free hand.

"Andrew? What a coincidence, I was just about to ring you," She lets out a giggling sigh as your hand slides up her thigh, bunching her dress just above her waist, "We need to talk..."

#first date Headcannons #first date #bioshock #BioShock Diane McClintock #diane mcclintock #diane mcclintock x reader #bioshock x reader #bioshock headcannons #Ryan getting dumped by Diane while she gets pampered might be my new kink #he absolutely ends the call rock hard and questioning a lot of things #someone dom him back to sanity #not me #but someone has to do it #also got a little flowery in the middle but whatcha gonna do

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ggreactionsandscenarios · 2 years

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hey! hope you're well :)

I would like to ask dreamcatcher's reaction to seeing his girlfriend (who is also the 8th member) choosing another idol to make a unit instead of her

Dreamcatcher Reactions

Their gf choosing someone else to make a unit

Jiu

Jiu would pretend to understand, saying it was to discover someone else's style but deep down she's hurt that her style isn't enough for you. She thought she had it, especially since you always seem to be impressed by her performances. She'll be pressuring herself to do better starting from now.

Sua

Sua was having none of it ! There was no way you were choosing anyone else but her, let alone Yoohyeon ! She'll turn red from how angry she is, getting actually pissed about it. She'll try to talk to the manager, asking or more like menacing him to change the units. Hell she'll even go to the big boss if it was needed. Luckily Jiu and Siyeon got a hold on her and calmed her down, not without having to push her to make it a competition sadly. It put her partner in a terribly stressful situation. Bora would overwork herself just to make you 'lose' and regret your betrayal.

Siyeon

Siyeon understood your choice, she herself had other options in mind, not because she dislikes your abilities. She just took into consideration what voices would match the best with each others. It was work nothing else and Siyeon knew that if she was to consider every pairing chosen or not by anything but work matter she'll turn paranoid really quick. There was no overthinking it she'll cheer for you as the supportive girlfriend she has always been.

Handong

Dongie took it as a challenge, not one about skills but rather about which one of you could make the other more jealous. It would be her. You thought taking Sua as your partner would assure you victory but you underestimated how far Handong and Siyeon could go when they are together. They literally ended up grinding on each other in the practice room and yes it made you incredibly jealous. As the respectful girlfriend she is Handong change the choreo for the real stage, she would tease you but never hurt you.

Yoohyeon

Yoohyeon pretended to be hurt getting over dramatic only to hide the fact that she actually was better. If the seemingly overly confident Yoohyeon was easy to see it didn't mean she always was. She'd get a little bit insecure because of this choice. She wouldn't say anything, knowing deep down that it was only her mind messing with her. However she got reassured by the fact that your interactions stayed the same, seeing you were still coming to her for attention meant a lot to her.

Dami

Dami shrugged, she wasn't jealous at all. She believes in trust in relationships, there's no such things as getting angry for work matters. She'll have plenty of occasions to be your partner and for all she cared as long as she gets to be your partner in life she couldn't care less about the rest. She'll tease you about it though, saying you two made the perfect couple on stage. She'll even read you the fanfiction people wrote about the interaction.

Gahyeon

Gahyeon straight up cried when you paired up with someone else, actually she didn't just cried she threw a tantrum. And she was rapidly back up by her two scary moms that happen to be your members. Sua was fast to give you a terrifying look which made you shiver. You immediately took your girlfriend in your arms telling her you'll pair up with her but that she needs to stop crying.

Hey, here is your request enjoy ! -Ael

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fctedivided · 16 days

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send me a 🚩 and i'll share my unpopular rpc opinions and hot takes. - Not accepting.

@kitxkatrp / @momigeddon / @caruwu / @alchemistdetective / @artexsoul /

@mercs-and-heroesx sent: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

That's honestly quite a lot than I have expected, so I decided to condense all of them in one single post. So here is my small takes about certain subjects:

Roleplaying is a hobby. Of course, it is obvious, but it needs to be constantly reminded that people may not have much free time because of their jobs, priorities in their lives, lack of motivation, etc. Things like these should be respected, for anyone.

Dropping threads and asks. I also get this situation myself quite often, especially if you have threads and asks that are like weeks, or even months old because you aren't sure how to reply or having the lack of motivation. If it's to a point that you force yourself to do it, perhaps it's for the better to drop them, and instead make a new one. So keep the interaction going without the pressure you're having, is what I meant to say.

Communication. For me, this is something I truly value for a proper relationship between friends and mutuals. Even if it's something minor and insignificant, it never hurts to reach out, or at least try to. This also could prevent misunderstanding among each other.

Judging others for their muse. I've seen this a couple of times when a blog received 'criticism' or even anon hate because they didn't like or hate the muse they're portraying. To the people who would even practice this, would it be fair if this happens to you? No, I don't think so. If it's really bothering you, just leave them alone or do anything else than bringing negative influences towards others.

Trimming posts. In my opinion, it is recommend that everyone would make a habit of it. Scrolling through one long post in anyone's dash isn't quite fun to do so. Doing this, I do think you'll do a huge favor for your mutuals and also it's more pleasing for everyone.

Reblog karma. When you reblog an askmeme, to me, it would make more sense to do it from a meme source blog rather than a mutual unless you would send one to them afterwards. I do get it that people would feel a bit bum out when people got a notification, thinking that someone sent an ask but instead they just reblogged an askmeme from your post. That's the main reason for me to do it.

Anonymous. It is quite disheartening that the anonymous used to be a fun feature to do between mutuals, but nowadays some people also use it to send hate and insults for even the pettiest reasons. I do completely understand why some disabled this feature off.

#sorry for taking so long #i was struggling quite a bit what to write #:: writer from afar. | ooc. ::#kitxkatrp #momigeddon #caruwu #alchemistdetective #artexsoul #mercs and heroesx #mercsandheroesx #:: answering the stars. || answered. ::#long post tw

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redtail-lol · 7 months

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"Critinclus accepts x and y" no it doesn't ur fundamentally misunderstanding the term critinclus

Critinclus doesn't have a strict set of beliefs. It doesn't have any set of identities that it does and doesn't accept. Critinclus people define their own level of inclusion.

Critinclus simply means that you accept people, regardless of how they identify, but you wish to understand why they identify that way before fully accepting them. This is different from an exclusionist, because exclusionists are reactionary. If they don't understand from just the name, they would rather go "wow that's fake" than bother asking. Critinclus assumes the people mean to use their labels in good faith and seeks understanding to determine if an identity really is in good faith. Exclusionists also believe all queer identities have strict rules, or queerness itself has strict rules, while a critinclus accepts and acknowledges that the "rules" are very flexible and that definitions are moreso guides, with outliers in every label, and they simply want to understand the outliers they encounter and know what makes them feel compelled to identify with something they don't "technically" fit under. It is also different from radinclus because radinclus often implies "you're valid because everyone has a right to self identify however they wish!" Which is a good sentiment, and I could see myself being fully radinclus, but to a degree I want to understand why you might feel like a lesbian as a binary monogender trans men (note, I already had my own epiphany about this and don't need it explained, I know now, it's just an example) or why someone would identify their gender as being related closer to animals than femininity or masculinity (I also already learned about this it's just an example) but unlike an exclusionist I wouldn't be reactionary and simply call them invalid because it doesn't make sense on the surface. Instead I would ask, "I don't think I understand, could you please explain it to me?" If they didn't want to explain, I would respect that and respect their identity, but I'd still try and ask similar people why they identify that way to try and understand the first person better.

Warning. This next section starts relevant then I go on a tangent and lose my train of thought. You might waste your time.

Also, when it comes to asking questions, exclus can also ask questions but they're done differently than critinclus. When it comes to good vs bad faith, critinclus ask good faith questions, and exclus ask them in bad faith. Since it's something my sister constantly brings up, let's say there's a critinclus who doesn't understand non-binary people vs an exclus who doesn't get it. The critinclus would ask, "I have heard a lot about nonbinary people, but I'm not quite sure I understand it. Do you think you could explain to me what it means to be neither a man nor a woman? How do you know if you're nonbinary?" The exclus would ask, "I have heard a lot about nonbinary people but I don't think it makes any sense. I don't understand any of it. You can't be- how can you not be a man or a woman? That's not real!" Exclus don't really want to understand, they just ask questions for rhetorical reasons and are meant to make you feel interrogated, under pressure, and leave you unable or unwilling to answer their questions. Critinclus make it clear they want to learn and are willing to accept any answers. Exclus also tend to make it clear what their stance is when they ask, and won't actually care what you say. If a critinclus asked me about my enby identity, I'd say "well, ever since I knew about nonbinary people and the possibility to be something other than a man or a woman, I always felt some connection to the concept. It was always something that resonated with me. But I didn't identify with it for a really long time because I was still a girl and didn't want to give up being a girl. I did know about multigender people but because I'm bigendermeld, I didn't think I was multigender. I briefly identified as a demigirl because of the connection but I am actually a hypergirl and stopped identifying with it when I argued with a gender abolitionist and felt such a strong connection to my girlhood. When I realized I could be nonbinary and still be a girl, I finally felt like I had figured everything out. It resonated with me so much and I'm so happy to know. My gender in particular feels like it's not masculine nor is it feminine, it's completely disconnected, but yet it's not nothing. It's a gender of it's own right. That's why I personally identify as aporagender or aporine, with nonbinary as an umbrella term. Thanks for asking." However, I don't really answer my sister because I know she doesn't want to understand. She wants to lecture me, argue, and convince me nonbinary people aren't real.

I feel like I've gone off topic by now ok bye bye

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adriensaltprompts · 2 years

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Submitted prompt: Superbug aka Clarinette

(Edited quite a bit for clarity/so it doesn't break the rules, and some more details added. IDK if Clark can speak French, since I don’t know anything about the DC universe, but for the sake of this I’m just gonna pretend he can.)

Young Superman crossover.

A teenage Clark Kent is in NYC on a class trip, and he's running around with his camera, as he's an aspiring reporter, and comes across Ladybug doing her thing.

He really admires the French-Chinese superhero who's been trying to help protect people despite the language barrier preventing her from speaking with most civilians and many of the other heroes, who's younger than any of the American superheroes Clark has ever seen or really heard of fighting seriously, someone actually around his age.

As this is a young Clark who's not yet a superhero, he sees Ladybug as aspirational, and so when she needs help in a fight and Chat Noir is yet again goofing off, he charges in despite not having any kind of disguise, because it's the right thing to do and she needs a partner. Nobody can do it all alone.

Marinette has already met Clark Kent, several times in passing, since he was one of the translators who were helping the senior reporters ask her and Chat Noir questions at the ends of fights. His French is far from perfect, since he’s still learning, but it’s better than nothing.

When she finds out he has superpowers and is willing to risk his secret being exposed to help her, she gets a bit of a crush on him.

He's a nice country boy with good manners who calls her ma'am, just wants to help, and is in a lot of ways just as under pressure as she is during the fight, since unlike Chat Noir, he actually cares about protecting people.

Better yet, he respects her boundaries and doesn't flirt with her on the job. Which isn't a high bar, but she's never gotten through a single fight with Chat Noir without him hitting on her at least twice, despite all her protests.

Clark is tall, handsome, humble, down-to-Earth, compassionate, brave, and a person of integrity. She crushes hard and fast and is very thankful he's oblivious to it.

And it's a different kind of crush to the one she has on Adrien, one where she's not anxious or uncomfortable, but instead can still be herself, which she's never quite able to do around Adrien. It's better.

Granted, when she finds out later that his X-ray vision lets him look through her mask and see who she is isn't something she's thrilled with, but she can tell from his subsequent panicked apology that it was an accident and his powers aren't always under his control.

And that drives Chat Noir up the wall, when he deigns to show himself, because "Why is it okay if he knows?!"

"It’s not, but he didn't want to, didn’t do it on purpose, won’t tell anyone, and Hawkmoth doesn't know he exists!" is the reply, reasonably.

(It doesn’t even occur to Marinette until much much later that if Clark can see through her mask as Ladybug, that also meant he could see through her clothes as Marinette. That was not a realization she needed to have at four in the morning while she was half asleep. She spends a few days panicked and horrified by the realization, but eventually managed to calm down by reminding herself that Clark isn’t like Chat Noir－he’s never done anything to make her uncomfortable, never hit on her, never tried to grab her or touch her or kiss her in a romantic way. And...besides. If he can see through her clothes, that means he can see through everyone’s clothes, so he’s probably completely desensitized to seeing naked people, right?

Chat Noir does not like Clark and Clark tries to put on a polite face and not get into any kind of dispute with him, to cause Marinette the least amount of stress as possible.

Marinette forgiving Clark for his powers misfiring means a lot to him, as someone who worries about being rejected if his powers were known, and the crush starts to become mutual.

Post NYC special, after Clark has accessed the space pod that brought him to Earth and acquired his superhero outfit from it, he starts being a superhero in the United States, and continues to be Marinette's friend. They text, they video call each other, play online games together, he gives her praise, encouragement and respect and asks her for superhero tips, though she quickly reminds him that tips for fighting Hawkmoth won’t really apply to fighting anyone else, since she has the ability to magically erase any collateral damage, and he doesn’t. She’s also lucky enough to be supported by her city of residence, and most civilians trust her and her judgment, and don’t try to get in her way.

They talk about baking (Ma Kent's cupcakes are divine, and they’re constantly swapping recipes, with Marinette’s parents becoming fast friends with Clark’s) and school (both are struggling to balance homework and heroism). And when things really hit the fan and she needs it, he can zip over across the ocean to provide backup.

Sometimes, she doesn't even need Chat Noir if Superman has her back. ("That's because the real power here is all yours," Clark assures her. "You're the team leader and the one with the most experience. You could probably do it all without me, too - but I'm glad you're letting me help out sometimes anyway.")

The Season Four finale hits and, not wanting him to see her having a panic attack or breakdown, she doesn't call him until things have gone so wrong Hawkmoth has the Miraculouses (Miraculi? whatever the plural is). But after Chat Noir has been such a non-help, a burden and a serial harasser, she knows who she wants to rely on in this dark moment. His name is Clark and he's from Kansas. He once brought her muffins when she was sad and has never touched her without her consent, and even when they were total strangers to each other, he was willing to help her before. He is now, too.

=====

I'm not saying Clark and Marinette wouldn't have any flaws or issues to overcome but Marinette deserves to date a hero, and if canon won't let her, we'll write it ourselves instead.

#DC ML crossover #ML DC crossover #Marinette x Clark #Marinette Dupain-Cheng x Clark Kent #Ladybug x Superman #Miraculous Ladybug #ML writing prompts #ML crossover prompts #Show!Miraculous #Show!Marinette #Show!Adrien

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onlyoneofyouu · 7 months

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Ah Jo, I just read the post about Freefall (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

You deserve kudos and all the love for speaking about what you went through this year. I wouldn't be able to do this and I'm glad TxT are helping you a lot rn (⁠o⁠´⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠)⁠っ

And overall, I just agree about everything you said. Lore aside, it's clear that they had fun while recording and working on the album. They found the genres where they're currently more comfortable and they're going to use them.

And also OOOOOH you liked Growing Pain too?! Yeeeees 😭

My rock/metal fan inside me screamed, cried and went "YES, THAT'S MY BOYS. THEY DID IT FOR MEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

And then I claimed the song as my fave, as my precious thing that no one should talk badly about or I'll go full rage mode (for legal reasons, this last part is a joke. Taste is subjective, yadda yadda).

Even tho I confess that a little tear came from my face after listening to the song for the, like, fifth time. I thought "Damn, Chester would have loved covering it (you know, Chester Bennington from Linkin Park)...And now I'm here, being a little emotional and teary about it 🥲😭

And I'm also projecting what would ever happen if TxT will ever go full rap/nu metal one day. I don't think it can happen because they need to find a vocal coach for teaching them how to growl or scream without losing their vocal chords five minutes later and also because they seem to not be into metal in general 🤣

Unless they'll do a collab with my girls Babymetal...ACH I shouldn't think about it or I'll project too much. But maybe a Japanese single...AAAAAAAAAAAAAH 😭

Better if they stick in the normal rock.

Also, idk you but I highly, HIGHLY, prefer Blue Spring live instead of the studio version 🥲

It seems the studio version is missing something 🤨🤔

Which is a bummer, the song is good 🥲

Teresaa thank you so much for your words 🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 i'm also really glad i have txt to give me joy, support and relief 🥲 as always i don't want to rely on it too much because it puts pressure on artists that are human too and can't solve all of our problems, but music itself keeps being there for me and i'm always going to rely on that ❤

With lore involved it can become even more tricky for groups to express themselves through the music, so i'm really glad txt are given the opportunity to do that anyway!! (it certainly helps that the lore itself was built to fit the experiences of young people, but you know, as taehyun said on his last live, gbgb for example felt more forced for him because he wasn't really feeling what they were supposed to portray) for as much as i'm a lore enthusiast, if leaving it behind meant having more creative freedom for a group i'd support it 100% *coff coff ateez coff coff*

i'm also glad the company keeps overall acknowledging and respecting that txt shine and are more comfortable with certain genres yup yup!

i'm usually not an hard rock and metal enthusiast, it depends on the song, and Growing Pains is one of those for me 🥰 you claiming and defending it is like me with Dreamer sksgskhsks

... 🥺🫂 i'm not fan of Linkin Park, more of a casual listener, but i also thought about them when i heard it... also and me and my brother yesterday night were listening to some music together and one of their songs came up and i was like "full circle!"

i love how one way or another txt found a way to make us all shed at least a few tears :")

the vocal coach part made me crackle 😭😭😭 anyway bestie, delulu is the solulu 🤝 maybe they'll never go full metal but i hope they give us more hard rock and metal inspired in the future yes 🙏 let's manifest 🕯

so i'm not the only one part 2!! i feel the same way 🤝 i also prefer Blue Spring live version! its rawness just perfectly delivers the feelings, the studio version doesn't sound as good for some reason, so i'm keeping my dear blue spring live concert ver mp3 file in my playlist 👍

#teresa 🎨 ☁️#joanswers

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aplateoflasagna · 1 year

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When I heard Mashidam went on hiatus all those months ago, I was devastated. I cried writing a tumblr post about what I was feeling at that moment. Seeing the news now about Mashidam leaving Treasure made me feel empty. it's wierd. Maybe it's because I was at my job and I coudn't really express how I felt and now that we're already 10 hours later and I've had to chance to think about it, rationalise it, and finally come to terms with it.

This is a much better reaction than I thought I would have btw. Like yeah, it hurts, but maybe, somehow, I already expected this news. Eventhough earlier this day, I was still thinking about the possibility of Mashiho and Yedam going on stage at the last day of Treasure's Japan tour and singing a duet together to announce their comeback haha... It feels silly now, but that's how I was coping I guess. I really believed they would come back, but knowing they won't maybe gave me some peace of mind. The uncertanty is gone, the waiting is over and now the healing process can begin.

We'll never know why exactly they left. We can only trust YGE's words that Mashiho decided to leave because of health issues and Yedam left because he wants to produce music instead of perform it. We'll never know what happened, so I'm choosing to believe Yedam and Mashiho shared their doubts with the company during Jikjin era and were put on haitus before they made their decision final. Mashi and Yedam had about 6 months to change their minds and they didn't.

The timing of the announcement is suspect ofcourse but I honestly think YGE made the best decision they could have to let fans get used to the idea of Treasure being a 10 member group. It worked for me. When their hiatus was announced I was so devastated + scared that Treasure wouldn't work as 10. Losing their main vocalist + main dancer/lead vocalist... I didn't think they could do it tbh... But now I've seen them perform their songs as 10 and they do it so well. They've had a successful comeback as OT10, they are still a unified group. And now I realise that's why i'll keep supporting them: They are still a group of people I fell in love with. I want to see them succeed and make more/new memories with them. I'll never forget them as 12 but I want to move forward with Treasure as they are now because I just don't have another choice. Not supporting them just isn't an option for me.

I'll miss Mashiho. I think he was born to be on stage. During Teuday and during Trace, I was in awe. He's so talented and passionate. He has all my respect and it breaks my heart that he has to say goodbye to his dream because of things that are out of his control. But his health should always be the number 1 priority and so I can only wish him the best and hope he's happy in Japan with his family.

I'll miss Yedam. I'll miss his silly personality. The fact that he was still a little kid underneath all those responsibilities. I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that I might never hear Yedam sing again. His voice is truly something meant to be heard. Knowing he'll never be a part of Treasure again hurts, but the possibility of never hearing his voice again hurts even more. I can only hope that Yedam returns to singing someday. Even if it's little snippets on soundcloud, or covers posted anonymously or an album 10, 20 years from now, I'll gladly take it. We'll never know the reason behind Yedams decision but I have always worried about the pressure that has been put on him since he was 11 years old. Hearing him perform his unreleased song during Trace only ampilfied my worry. I could never quite listen to it again, because it sounded to personal

Somebody need help, somebody need love

Just living in endless loop of pressure

Shouting for help, looking for love all along

Yes, he trained the longest, has spent almost 10 years in the industry, but maybe being an Idol is what everyone expected of him, not what he actually wanted for himself. Or maybe being an Idol isn't what he thought it would be. I keep thinking about that one Tmap episode where a Teume told Jaehyuk 'If you decide that being an Idol is not what you want to do with your life, I'll still support you' and I can't help but feel the same way about Yedam. It's his decision and eventhough I'm sad, I'm happy for him. If this is what he wants then I'm happy for him.

Treasure will be alright. Teumes will be alright. Yedam and Mashiho will be alright. We all just need a little time right now to adjust to the new status quo.

I'm looking forward to the Seoul concert and the Japan tour, but most of all I'm looking forward to making new memories with Treasure

#i'm going to stay away from stan twitter for a while #TREASURE #Bang Yedam #Takata Mashiho #I hope YG let's the members work on a new album after the Japan tour + a new Tmap season so that fans can make new memories with OT10 #and not stay stuck hoping for Mashidam to return because they won't #I don't want this to become an Ikon situation where the fans coudn't accept OT6 because there was just no content for IKON as OT6 #the only memories they had were as OT7 so they couldn't move on #please YG learn from your mistakes #so that the fandom can heal #i typed this in one go so there are probably so many spelling mistakes

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anotherbeastarsblog · 2 years

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For Bill and Juno, I think it was their two-facedness (is that even a word?) about it that made them minor antagonists in the first few arcs. Bill had a point about being discriminated against, but then he drinks rabbit blood to cover up his own nerves and insecurities, which would've lead to drama club being shut down if someone found out about. I agree with him that carnivores needed meat and that they had to go to the Black Market *someday*, but then he resorted to tricking them with the bad GPS thing and peer pressuring someone into eating a finger when there were cheap shish kebabs not 10 feet away, which roundaboutly lead to Kibi getting his arm torn off because he never knew or told Tao what happens to people when they eat meat. It's not a coincidence that all his best moments came from being honest with himself and supporting *everyone* around him instead of bring all macho.

As for Juno, she's my favorite character, so it legit pains me to say this, but she was low-key kind of a stealth alpha bitch in the first few seasons. HOWEVER, it wasn't because she was a bad person, she just wanted to stop being bullied. Louis only respected her when she "revealed her true self", not as a predator or saccharine person, but as a strong willed and ambitious social climber. Her whole arc turned into how she should be honest with herself and desires, up to and including stop pursuing her dream senpais when it was obvious they couldn't or wouldn't reciprocate.

There's not any two-facedness about Bill at all, he's pretty open about what he wants and believes. I don't think Bill tricked them to going to the BAM, I think they legitimately got lost, nor is there a direct connection between them going to the BAM and Kibi. Even if Tao never ate meat (we don't even know if he did that day) it's said accidents like that are common because the strength differential is already always there. The worst thing he did was the finger thing, for sure, but even that I think can just be chalked up to excitement, he sees it as a right of passage and as a first bite of meat ever it'd definitely be a hell of an experience. In total it does still make Bill the first antagonist but only because he had a different worldview and upbringing from our POV character, not because any of that is actually that, bad.

The big thematic denouement that Bill and Legoshi are fundamentally the same was probably *meant* to say Legoshi has that seed of evil inside him for being a carnivore, considering how consistently poorly carnivores are written in the series, but a more generous and tbh I think better supported reading is that they're both just people struggling in a society dealing with the shit thrown at them the only ways they know how. Getting over some of his chauvinism definitely shows growth in him but he wouldn't be a good character just for that if we hadn't seen how he was struggling with it before.

I have fewer opinions about Juno. I love her arc, she had a pretty big swing in motivations and you can follow her developing opinions on the world and it's problems but, again, I think a lot of that is in spite of the story. She exists as a foil for a lot of characters, and a lot of the changes she goes through are just what she needs to be to fill a niche in the story at any given point. If any of the best parts of Juno were intentional I have no doubt she'd have actually gotten some spotlight and exploration that wasn't just her as a prop in other characters stories, and yeah the longer I think about literally anything the more I think I'm of the opinion we should be giving as little credit as possible to the source text.

#Juno #Bill #ask #headcanons #original post #Analysis #Finally gotta start making that a tag #Not gonna scour my blog to back tag but if I see and old post that needs it I'll put it on

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artisticmenace · 4 months

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talking abt my characterrss!! read if you want im just letting it out. might be interesting yknow. if anyone really cares too much. spoilers for the comic im going to make if anyone was really wsnting to read that. probably not but just in case yk

Starting off with my two boys from Those Days(and other characters)

Scott: so he was supposed to look like this one guy i kept seeing on pinterest and also jareth the goblin king a little bit but because of the time its set in(and also the fact that his dad is initially thought to be a homophobe) he cant be as flashy. he ended up looking more like inigo montoya.... but i kept his purple crystal earing as a token of his gay witchy king design history. he himself is meant to act a little homophobic despite coming out as a bisexual late into the plot so his design fits. he does wear makeup though. smudgy eye makup done in dark eyeshadow in fact. after the gay subplot and main plot come to a collision he'll get witchier. post high-school i think he and rodney will end up getting fashionable. hes also meant to be a touch self centered. he idolizes his dad to the point he feels he cant be "soft" at all. his dad doesnt care though. he keeps this tough guy routine to the point of not being emotionally mature enough to comfort people that well. scotts fighting habits will kick him in the ass. design wise i need to change his style of clothing a little bit because i think i want this to take place in the 80s.

Rodney: rodney is based on this one guy i had a dream about, and probably all the fanart I've seen of martin from tma. he was originally going to have the same haircut as scott and be thinner, but neither of those design choices were fun, and i wanted to make a short chubby nervous guy instead. his internalized homophobic crime is "my mom is a dyke but because people think that will make me gay i cant possibly be gay because i want to be not like my mom because her gfs are all terrible and" well he might trauma dump a little after that. rodney never met his dad but because of that he had to endure lots of terrible 'stepmoms'(his mom never married them) and they would steal from her and he would get blamed and boom bam child abuse. a lot of people say he turned out better than expected, and he really hates thinking of what he could've done. despite being a great baseball player, he is relentlessly bullied for having a lesbian mom. no one knows exactly who found this out or how. he is equally as much muscle as he is fat, and he's quite strong. unfortunately, he'd rather take the hit than fight back for fear of punishment, not so much from the school but from his mom. scott eventually finds out about Rodney's constant mistreatment, and that's when he decides to let rodney stay with him a while(around their second year of knowing each other). Mr. Haverford just accepts that rodney lives there now as hes super respectful and doesnt say much.

Lucy Campbell: her design should really tell the reader where they are because shes 80s as hell. shes scotts ex. shes kind of a dumb person in general but she knows how to influence people. i dont know how or if ill ever introduce her but she does tattoos and piercings at her house which is by a convenience store named "Myrtle's". Scott goes there sometimes. he doesnt like her anymore and she doesnt like men anymore so they just sit around and smoke. sometimes they drink and talk about life.

Susie Marshall: shes a nice person. she tutors lots of kids including Scott. scott and rodney stop going to her house after scotts dad says susies dad is a really good aim and might shoot them even if they're just there to talk about school. shes pressured into a very isolated and tidy lifestyle by her parents and doesnt really enjoy living.

#artisticmenace #themenaceuseswords #those days #those days comic #rodney fletcher #scott haverford

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