#I am in shambles in a a nice kinda way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sungbeam · 2 years

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𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞

nonidol!chenle x fem!reader

premise. you and chenle fell hard and fast. but chenle's been hiding something from you, and he'll try his damnedest to keep it that way. but no matter how hard he may try, the truth always finds a way to be revealed. and that just may cost him everything.

genre. not exactly slow burn, fluff, angst!!, s2l, arranged marriage au later, college basketball star!chenle, richkid!chenle problems, college au, theaterkid!reader

warnings. ANGST, fluff, low-key cheating-ish?, chenle embodies down bad, reader tries and fails to resist, flirting and innuendos asf (it's chenle, cmon), kissing+making out (like one scene), cursing/swearing, chenle is kinda smooth asf, did I say ANGST yet?, angst, panic

word count. 24.2k (heh)

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @justanotherkpopstanlol @johlee @frickyratz @liamsholygrail @staysstrays @w3bqrl @y3jiishot

taglist: @j4eminie777 @jenosbliss @hibernatinghamster @user103843 @watermelonlee05

a/n: i speedran this fic and i am in shambles. i hope u all enjoy tho! pls pls pLs help a girl out and reblog, comment, or even send asks abt the fic! pls spread the word if u do enjoy reading this. it would mean the world to me <3

also huge thank you to @tayunji for being my sanity check and letting me live word count dump on her (and for always sending kind words, even if she angst cancels me 🤡)

You remembered the exact day you met Zhong Chenle.

It had been a long day. Actually, "long day" was an understatement. You'd been working at the café since opening until now, which was 4:32 in the afternoon, and for what reason? Absolutely none, other than the fact that you were dirt poor, and only the glimmer of false hope called overtime could grant you any reprieve. Ironically, you had little to no breaks today.

Funny, right? Always funny.

But it made for a sour mood as you took orders from people. You honestly tried your best to be nice and energetic and "happy to take your order!", even if that meant they wanted five more pumps of raspberry syrup, a dash of caramel sauce, and an extra pinch of turmeric. Turmeric, seriously?

You were just trading off places with one of your coworkers to take the register again when you heard the bell above the door jingle. Swiftly tightening the ponytail on your head, you adjusted the pencil seated in the little divot behind your ear. Your mouth widened in the perfect service smile, ready to spew out the same bullshit you always did.

The young man who sauntered through the door—yes, he sauntered—was lowering the Ray Bans from his eyes and hanging the leg from the collar of his black and white Balenciaga shirt. He had dark hair, the strands slightly wavy and curly atop his head; he reminded you of Ryan Gosling. At least, somewhat like Ryan Gosling.

But then that gut wrenching feeling came to you. Oh no, you knew exactly who this chad was.

And you saw the way his dark eyes looked you up and down, the same glimmer of recognition in them. You watched in slow motion as he approached the counter with a smirk curling at his lips, and you braced for goddamn impact.

Zhong Chenle smiled at you. "Hey."

If you hadn't known who Zhong Chenle was, then you would have been living under a rock—he was the boy who had everything. Basketball star, trust fund baby, academic genius—he was criminally famous around campus for not only being an all-rounder, but a total ladies' man. You were not oblivious to the rumors that circulated about him, but you had also never heard any solid evidence that he was dating anyone. He was an effortless flirt, and you had a feeling you might find out just how effortless he was.

Your smile tightened just slightly. Keep it up, Yn, he might tip well. And you need this new set of microphones for the stage crew. "Hi, what can I get started for you?"

"A tall, black coffee, please."

Easy enough. Your tense shoulders loosened as you reached up and took the pencil from your ear, the thin wooden stick twirling between your fingers mindlessly before the eraser came down on the screen to input the order into the system. "Cash or card?"

"Card."

And then you watched as he whipped out a slick, black credit card like it was the prophetic playing card you had pulled from his deck in a magic trick. You raised a brow, unimpressed, as he handed it over to you across the café counter for you to insert into the credit card reader. A black card for a four dollar cup of coffee?

Your friend Felix would be hounding for a good tip by now. You could imagine the dollar signs lighting up in his eyes.

"So uh, are you doing anything after your shift?" Chenle suddenly asked, leaning against the counter with one hip as he took back the card and tucked it into the inside pocket of his leather jacket. He brushed the dark hair from his forehead, glancing at you with cool nonchalance.

You were close to telling him that this was just a McDonald's drive-thru. Maybe if you weren't so tired from today's shift, you would have given him the reaction he wanted: shy giggling, tucking your hair behind your ear, smiling through soft blushes. It was the reaction he would probably expect. Instead, you could only give him a half-hearted smirk. "Probably take a nap."

"You could take a nap with me."

"Uh-huh." You finished off inputting his order into the system with the end of your pencil. You spun the pencil between your fingers, tucking it behind your ear once more, the feeling comfortable and familiar. Unlike the weight of his stare. You pretended you didn't see how Chenle's eyes bursted into hearts while he watched you do that particular move again. "Could I get you anything else?"

"Yeah, actually." He feigned confusion as he patted down his jacket and pants pockets. "I think I lost my number. Could I borrow yours?"

The feminine urge to—

"Ynie, what's taking so—oh hey, Chenle!" Thank the Lord for Felix Lee. The blondie appeared at your side, hand planted on your shoulder, as he greeted his friend with a bright smile. "Dark coffee again?"

Chenle nodded. "Yep. I was just introducing myself to your pretty friend over here." He winked at you, and you realized just how much confidence he must have had if he could wink at you in front of Felix.

Felix's head whipped over to you, eyes comically wide, and you sent him an earnest "don't you fucking dare, Lee Yongbok!" look, but alas… the man never did listen to you, did he? Felix smiled, slow and mischievous. "Oh? Well, I'm sure Yn would love to keep introducing herself to you while I go get your coffee ready, huh, Ynie?"

"Don't you 'Yn-ie' me, mister," you practically hissed. The cheeky bastard just threw you to the wolves!

Your friend patted you on the back and left soon after, swiftly stealing a cup from your side as he went. It was too late to haul him back without making a scene.

"He's gonna expect you to tip him for this, y'know?" You joked as a sorry attempt to make conversation. Or not be left in awkward silence. But you had an idea that Chenle was gifted at avoiding awkward silences.

Chenle bit his lip to suppress a smile. "Yeah, but I'd much rather tip you instead." The most magical thing he could have possibly done? He glanced around as if this were an illegal drug deal, and in a way this was, but he pulled a black, leather bifold from his jacket pocket and began counting out bills.

You slapped a hand over your mouth. "That," you said slowly before you could stop yourself, "is probably the sexiest thing you've done since you walked in here."

Aaaaaand there you go, Yn. Genius. Fantastic. If I could slap myself—

The man's eyebrows shot up and his hands stopped flicking through the bills. A grin crawled onto his sculpted face once more. "Ah, so you think I'm sexy? I knew you'd come around."

There was no doubt about it—your face was on fire. "No, that isn't what I said. I said that your action was sexy; not necessarily you."

But the damage had been done. You had inadvertently inflated Zhong Chenle's ego even more than it already was blown up to.

"That's cute," he said and folded a handful of bills in half. He gestured for you to stick your hand out, and he grabbed your wrist, placing the bills into your palm and curling your fingers around them.

After you had slipped the bills into the pocket of your waist apron, you saw Chenle lick his lips; there was a worrying sparkle in his eyes. "Hey, if you put your number on the cup, I'll give you more."

Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. How much money did this man have? "Dude, I think you've given me enough. I'm close to giving you this wad of cash back."

He shrugged. "Then your number, and a date and time."

"Date and time?"

He sighed, hand draping over his forehead. Chenle shook his head and clicked his tongue. "Tsk tsk, for such a pretty face, you sure—"

You glowered. "Finish that sentence, Zhong. I dare you."

Chenle let out a sharp laugh, but he raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, sure, baby. Whatever you want." He chuckled under his breath. "Damn, you're hot when you're feisty. I should rile you up more."

"Your presence is enough to do that."

"Ah, so I'm enough for you? I'd use the word perfect, but we can work on that." He opened his mouth, no doubt to say something to make you even more flustered, but Felix's squawk of distress pierced through the café's lo-fi music.

"Uhhhh, Yn? A little help, heh."

You pursed your lips. "Duty calls."

Chenle nodded in understanding. "'Course. Remember, Yn: number, date, and time." The image of his smirk was ingrained in your brain as you abandoned the counter to see whatever Felix had done to mess up his coffee. And you would end up scrawling all three of those things onto the side of Chenle's cup. For what reason? None at all, except for you trying to convince yourself it was because he practically paid you to do it, and not because you were the slightest bit interested.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐈—

It scared you, how quickly you and Chenle had fallen into a routine. After your first meeting at the café, you both had planned out an outing together—dinner and a movie. Simple, right?

Yeah. Except, dinner and a movie was in his penthouse with a private chef flown in from his home province of Shanghai, and the movie wasn't even out in theaters yet. Yeah, you tried to explain it to Felix the next day, but there were little to no words to describe everything you had experienced that night. The luxury, the awe—the guilt.

God, you couldn't stomach seeing yourself sometimes. Especially whenever he popped into the café calling you babe, slapping too much money on the counter for just a cup of plain old coffee, and hanging out on a stool to keep you company for the rest of your shift. Sometimes you had something planned at the theater that you had to go run and manage, but whether it was that or going straight home, Chenle was offering you a ride there.

You would be walking on campus and see him pass by with his group of wild friends. He would wink at you, blow you a kiss, shout your name; anything to get your attention. And it definitely caught people's attention.

You didn't have a shift at the café today, but you had been holed up in the backstage office all afternoon. The theater society at the university was going to be thrust into chaotic, hellish Tech Week, the week right before opening night of their most recent play, The Lucky Ones. It was actually a student-written and student-directed play, and you were so excited to see the finished product on opening night. You had already sent out advanced tickets to your friends and family, spread word to your theater friends at other schools, and most of all totally found a date.

It wasn't like Huang Renjun, the director, was forcing you to bring a date. It was just that you had never brought a date before. You never needed one. You always chose to enjoy the play on your own, or in the company of your closest friends, but with recent events? You had an idea.

A confident knock on the door broke you from your stupor, and you told them they could come in.

Speak of the Devil…

Chenle poked his head into the room, eyes already roaming about the small office space with curious eyes. He allowed himself in, easily finding a seat in the chair across from you. "Hi Yn-ie. Renjun said I could find you in here."

"Oh, right," you clicked your pen closed and tucked it behind your ear, "sorry, I forget how time passes when I'm alone in here. Did you call or text? I always keep my phone off." You dug around your desk drawer before finding the device deep in the mess of paper clips, random SD cards, bookmark stickies, and the like. It was like the aftermath of an explosion at an office supply store.

"Alone? You could always call me to come hang out; keep you company," he said, ignoring your previous statement. He twisted in his seat, draping his legs over the arm of the chair and resting sideways in it. "Unless this is your private space. Then I won't intrude."

You found yourself smiling. "Ah, no. Having someone in here will probably ground me to reality, actually."

"I do need something though."

You perked up. "Sure."

He grinned. "Don't sound too eager now."

"Zhong," you rolled your eyes.

"Okay, okay! God, you're kind of sexy when you're like that. Anyways!" He said loudly to prevent you from making yet another remark. He giggled. "You're cute. But yeah, I have court side tickets to our opening game of the season this Friday, and I would absolutely love to see your pretty face in the stands."

He added cheekily, "Screaming my name, of course."

Oh god. How did you not expect that? You sighed. "Yes, of course."

Chenle propped his chin in the palm of his hand, head tilted sideways as he looked at you. "That's a yes to the tickets and wearing my jersey then."

"Yes—wait, what?"

He clapped his hands together loudly. "Next topic! A little birdie also told me that baby needs a date for a certain opening night next week." He flipped his imaginary, long hair over his shoulder. "Just let me know when and what color your dress is."

You crossed your arms over your chest and you were scared at how fast it was pounding. "Bold of you to assume that I don't already have a date."

For a second, you swore you saw his confident facade falter. But it must have just been a glitch in the matrix, because there was no way, right? "Okay, and? I'm better."

"Uh huh," you hummed, unimpressed. "I'll need a better reason than that to ditch my prior commitment," you teased.

You knew he had caught on, tongue poking the inside of his cheek, corners of his mouth lifting. "Ah, I see. I don't think I'll buy myself into this one, will I? Well, what if I told you I'm an excellent play watcher? Probably the most well behaved person you'll find in the seats—"

You covered your laugh with a cough. "Chenle, you couldn't sit through one two-hour long movie. This play is at least three."

Chenle pouted, wrinkling his nose at you. "Why are you making this so difficult for me, Ynie? I just wanna return the favor, support your play, support your art!"

"Okay, okay, you big baby," you caved. "I'll let you know when I pick out a dress." But inwardly you were grateful. God, you were so grateful. There were so many rumors about this man, but he had yet to disappoint you. And even if you were nervous, you knew the butterflies in your stomach were from the things he was making you feel.

If he was as the rumors said he was, then why would he put so much effort into impressing you? Or, as he said himself, supporting you and your craft?

Chenle lifted his head, mouth falling open slightly. "You mean you haven't picked out a dress yet?"

"No, you are not buying me a dress or watching me choose a dress."

"You're literally no fun."

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈—

Karina, your roommate, was skeptical. You had to admit, however, that she had every right to be, given her last relationships and the fact that she knew every drop of gossip that landed at SMU's front door. She was fully immersed in campus news, especially since she ran the university's magazine and yearbook committees. So Zhong Chenle was a subject she heard about often, but she never thought she'd have to hear about him at home from you, too.

"Just think about it, 'kay? Don't make any hard decisions yet."

You waved him off, this being the seventh time since the theater that he was bugging you about the dress. Jesus, it was like this man was eager to waste his money somewhere. You already felt terrible as it was. "Chenle, I will. But absolutely no promises."

He gestured with his hand, his back leaning against the wall in the hallway right across from your door. "Sure, fine. Whatever you say."

"Zhong Chenle, you are not getting your way this time."

He smiled, like he knew that was a lie.

You shooed him off after that. Your pride needed a bit of restoration, as well as some reassurance that you would not let this man completely take down your defenses.

When you let yourself into the apartment, locking the door behind you, Karina was already on the couch with her laptop on her knees and the coffee table swarmed with spread upon spread. "Was that Chenle again?" She asked as you set your things down on the kitchen table noisily.

"Yeah," you said back. "Just came from the theater."

"He came by to see you?"

You threw open the fridge in search of a beverage. "Mhm. Asked me to go to his game on Friday. Court side tickets or whatever."

Karina nearly rocketed up from her seat. "Court—court side tickets?"

Your back was turned, so you hadn't seen her very physical reaction. You continued to scour the depths of the fridge before you settled on a can of iced tea. "Yeah." When you faced her, sipping on your tea, you lifted a brow in silent question at her widened eyes and now disturbed position.

Your roommate set her laptop aside so she could lean against the back of the couch. "Yn, sweetie, he asked you to sit court side. Did he happen to ask you to wear his jersey?"

At this, you snorted. "Pretty much told me to."

Karina puffed out her cheeks, and you recognized this particular quirk as something she did when she was trying not to spontaneously combust on the spot. "He's literally staking his claim on you. Like… ever read those Wattpad books where the guy is possessive and makes the girl wear his jacket or jersey or whatever?"

"You have?"

"That's not the point!" She stammered. "But that's what's happening right now, Yn! The basketball players hardly ever bring someone to sit court side, unless they're family or close friends. Honestly, I think only two or three players are thought to be bringing their significant others to the game this week."

You screwed the lid back onto your tea bottle and settled on the couch beside Karina. "Why is it such a big deal?" You could probably answer that question yourself, to be honest.

Karina still answered nonetheless, "Because Chenle's single. Well, until he met you. Have you guys talked about a label yet? I don't mean to pry or push."

Actually? No, you had no label for whatever was happening with Chenle. "No, you're good. But no, we haven't talked about it, but to be honest, there hasn't been a need for it. We went on, like, one official date and then had a couple of hangouts afterward. We're like… friends right now."

That was generously put. He was practically your—no, don't say it. Maybe you should have a conversation about your boundaries.

"Okay well, does he feel the same way? I don't even know, Yn-ie, but I feel like I should warn you to be careful."

That was reasonable. You could understand where Karina was coming from, and you really shouldn't be falling so quickly into this thing with him until you knew his intentions. You didn't want to be just temporary to someone. If you were going to put your all into a relationship, it should be for real, right?

Karina sighed, bracing her elbow against the back of the couch and looking at you with her head tilted to the side. "I don't want to dishearten you. You like him, don't you?"

Your eyes widened. "L-like him? Maybe as like a companion, but not—not like that! Pfft." Yeah, no. You liked him, or at least, you were beginning to like him. But this could just be an infatuation, you thought. Feelings were fickle things, and you wanted to get this right.

Karina deadpanned at you. With an exasperated shake of her head, she shifted to pick her laptop back up. "Sometimes I worry about you."

"Hey!" You squawked. "It's too early to determine that."

Her hum was disbelieving. "Yeah, sure. So how many tickets did Chenle give you? Just one? It'd be kinda cool to sit court side for once."

You shrugged. "Actually, no idea. But I don't really wanna be sitting there by myself. I haven't been to a basketball game in a while, so it'd be nice to bring a friend or two."

"Shoot him a text?"

You were already pulling your phone out of your pocket, thumbs flying over the keyboard.

you: quick question

His reply was instantaneous.

zhong: yes i can pick u up to go dress shopping

You rolled your eyes. He really was not going to give this up.

you: no not abt the dress

you: i was wondering if my friends could come w me to the game?

zhong: yeah ofc! lmk how many and i'll send the tix

"He just asked how many," you told Karina, who's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I'll just say you and Felix. I don't think I'd want to burden him with getting a hold of so many tickets."

As you typed out your response to Chenle, Karina voiced her agreement. "Yeah, that sounds good. Tell him thanks for me."

you: two + me pls

you: and karina says ty

you: ty again for doing this, u really didn't have to :(

zhong: i did it cuz i wanted to bby, so no need for all that

zhong: i'll get the tix and my jersey to u by tmr ;)

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐕—

The jersey was red with bold, white letters on the back spelling out ZHONG, and the number 30. It was made of really nice, breathable quality, and was definitely the product of the administration's budget toward the school basketball team. You knew this from Karina's constant research and digging and interviewing with her organizations, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the basketball team was good enough to get so much funding. Chenle, you knew, was one of the best. Even if he wasn't captain, he was still talented.

You had been sitting on the edge of your bed with the jersey in your lap for the past ten minutes, trying to sike yourself out of whatever funk you were in. It was just a shirt, right? It didn't mean anything. (Except, it totally did. A shirt with Chenle's name and number on the back was a statement.)

There was a knock on your apartment door, and Karina yelled that she would get it. You were still considering the jersey.

Felix's blond head appeared in your bedroom doorway, eyebrows furrowed at you. "How long have you been staring at that thing, Yn?"

"Only ten minutes," you said sheepishly, standing up and walking over to your wardrobe. You were still in loungewear after you had taken a quick shower post-lectures. You knew you probably should have been at the theater tonight, but Renjun and Doyoung had waved you out of the building, telling you they "had it covered". You still worried.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the doorknob. "Get dressed—it's just a shirt."

"It is not just a shirt, Lee."

He wagged his eyebrows, already closing the door. "You said it; not me…"

You glared at the closed door, but swallowed your fears, your nerves, your pride—and pulled the jersey over your head and over your tank top. Karina had suggested that you just wore shorts with the garment, but you realized now that the shirt fell to just about mid-thigh, basically hiding most of your shorts from view.

"Are you done? I want to see the floor from court side!"

Your eyes found the yellow cover of the book on your desk. Its cover read a pitiful Basketball for Dummies, and it was something you had bought on a whim at the bookstore yesterday in a sorry attempt to brush up on your basketball knowledge to ensure you didn't feel like a fool. You slung your small bag over your shoulder, leaving the book where it was, before you left the room. "You'll see plenty of the floor, alright!"

Felix was standing on the other side of the door, with Karina waiting by the couch. "Is that a threat, Ln?"

"Take it as you will."

The drive to the gymnasium was a brief one since yours and Karina's apartment wasn't far from campus. Finding parking? Now that was a whole different story.

Felix exhaled roughly as the three of you clambered out of his car, fresh night air rushing into your lungs after the stressful fifteen minutes of fighting for a parking space. It truly was war. All around you, car horns and squealing tires pierced through the night, only a taste of what you had just endured. Felix dragged a hand through his hair, huffing, "Christ, the people here are animals. Like seriously, it's like Black Friday!"

"I wouldn't compare it exactly to Black Friday," Karina mused. She adjusted the jacket on her shoulders to fit with the strap of her purse. Her eyes flickered to you. "Are you cold, Yn-ie? You can have my jacket?"

You dropped your hands from where they held your arms. It was a little chilly, but you should be able to manage until you got into the gym. You shook your head. "Nah, I'm okay. Just not used to…" You nodded to the jersey, your lack of pants. This was fine. Completely. You were practically swimming in the material.

Karina smiled at you and linked her arm with yours. "You look cute."

"You totes do!" Felix mocked a school girl squeal as he arrived on your other side, linking up with you. His asymmetrical silver earrings swung wildly from his earlobes as he began skipping through the tightly packed cars, dragging you and Karina behind him.

For a moment, you had allowed this to distract you from the whispers and glances you were getting from people. Once you reached the sidewalk to merge with the crowd of people headed for the gym, there was no way to hide the jersey now, except with a jacket. You held steady, kept your head level, and your eyes on the yawning doors to the gym.

"You think she made that herself?"

"It probably wouldn't cost a lot to make that. She must really want his attention."

You felt your friends' hold on you tighten, as if they were armoring up for something, but you wanted to tell them that you were fine. People could believe what they wanted to believe. By now, it was impossible not to draw attention to yourself.

The gym's bright fluorescent lights shone down on the court far below, and you and your friends showed your tickets to the nearest staff. He eagerly bounded down the stadium steps to show you your seats right where Chenle promised they would be—court side.

Felix could not get his mouth to close, or his eyes, as he gawked at the shiny floor under his soles. "Woah. This is so cool."

"I'm glad one of us is enjoying themselves," you chuckled, your hands finding your arms once more to hug yourself, maybe make yourself look smaller. From here, the big screens hanging above the court looked like the ones in Madison Square Garden, and everything just looked bigger, bolder. You had never watched a game from this angle, and you could only imagine how intense it got from here.

Once you were all settled, you felt a buzz from your back pocket.

zhong: hey u get here alright?

zhong: someone just told me they saw my jersey on u 👀

you: y r u acting surprised lol think I'd just leave it at home and say sike?

zhong: yeah kind of

you: zero faith

zhong: i'll make it up to u bby how does that sound?

you: and how exactly do u intend to do that?

zhong: win the game of course ;)

You shook your head, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. This man was making your head spin with his words.

you: so u didn't plan on winning otherwise?

zhong: well yeah, that too

zhong: i might hug u when we win, just so u know

zhong: unless

you: let's slow it down, buddy

you: we can start w hugging

Perhaps you could hear his breathy chuckle in your ears now. It wasn't the classic, high pitched one that exploded and brightened a room whenever it happened, but the one that made your stomach twist with butterflies and your heart leap into your throat.

zhong: okok

zhong: i'll c u in a bit then, coach is calling us in

zhong: enjoy the game :)

you: good luck chenle

zhong: thanks yn

Karina nudged you with her elbow to show you something on her phone, and you pocketed your own into your small bag. Felix had gone somewhere to chat with someone he recognized a few rows back, and probably to boast about the amazing view he was going to get right on court side. He wouldn't ever forget that he watched the opening game from this vantage point.

Soon, Felix rushed back into his seat, body buzzing like a three year old on candy. "It's starting! Oh my god, here they come!" He gestured to the far opening where you could already see a mass of bodies lining up.

The announcer came on overhead, loud and clear, ready to hype up the crowd. "Live! From the honorable and world renowned SM University Stadium is the opening game of the season between the SM Sentinels and the FNC Falcons! Sponsored by KakaoCorp—where people and the world get connected; and Naver—helping businesses stay connected."

You could feel the energy in the room increase as the announcer introduced the FNC team to the arena, the team dressed in yellow and white. But it wasn't until everyone waited in bated breath for your own team to appear that the tension was palpable. You could practically taste it on your tongue.

"And now… put your hands together and make some noise for your—very own—SENTINELS!" The buzzer screamed loud, but the crowd screamed louder.

You could barely hear your own thoughts as you screamed your own heart out for the swarm of red that flooded into the stadium. The pep band on the other side of the stadium was playing some hype song—you thought it was Lil Nas X's Industry Baby, but at this point, all the sounds were melting together.

You caught a flash of that dark hair and terribly bright beam in the blurred masses. There was a red and white sweatband holding his hair back, and he greeted the crowd so proudly as he jogged along the border of the court.

And then there was that heartstopping realization as the team was approaching where you and your friends were, aiming for the silver benches about a foot in front of you. And suddenly, the only thought in your mind was—

"Zhong Chenle, you son of a bitch," Felix giggled in pure giddiness.

You caught Chenle's eyes as he was coming closer, stopping directly in front of you on the bench. There was this distinct gleam of approval in his eyes when he saw the jersey. He winked at you, then turned around so he faced the court.

He had put you right behind them. Directly.

The game quickly began, jumping straight into the first half of the game. You could barely keep your head straight as you tried either focusing on Chenle or the basketball being passed, Chenle or the basketball. Both moved swiftly throughout the court, weaving through and from player to player.

You could feel the weight of tension, the energy thrumming throughout the stadium like a heartbeat.

The ball swooshed through the FNC hoop once, twice, several more times. Chenle was passing the ball, dribbling it up, jumping up, passing it again. Each member of his own team worked seamlessly, like they were gears in one well-oiled machine. Now you knew why SMU was so revered on the basketball stage.

Players were switched in and out, replacing each player at least once, but sparingly and strategically throughout. Chenle was pulled out at one point, sweat dripping from his face, his hair, and he guzzled down an entire bottle of water in less than five seconds. He was heaving for breath, and soon, he was thrown back into the frenzy.

And then the buzzer blared. The first half was over.

You, Felix, and Karina all collectively let out equally relieved sighs. One glance at the scoreboard had your heart bursting into an excited overdrive again. SMU was winning. By a lot.

For the halftime show, it was something you definitely hadn't expected—a rap contest.

"Each of our beloved contestants, who are all members of your SMU Sentinels, by the way," explained tonight's host and SMU alumni, Johnny Suh, "will compete in saying a small paragraph that will be displayed on the screen. Whoever does it the fastest will be crowned our winner for the night!"

You and the rest of the crowd watched as people quickly brought on a whiteboard with a large poster of words printed on it. Lined up horizontally on the court, there were a handful of players, including Chenle. He didn't look nervous, but you knew he was cracking jokes to his teammates up there.

Jung Sungchan went first, raising the bar up incredibly high. Then it was Park Jisung, then Han Jisung who basically knocked the bar out of the ballpark. Seo Changbin raised it a little more after that. Chenle tried his hardest, but you caught his fumbling on tape. Bang Chan, Osaki Shotaro, and Lee Jeno all followed shortly. In the end, it was Han Jisung who walked away with the bragging rights of being the fastest speaker on the team.

"There you have it, folks! Our certified Eminem of SMU!" Johnny charmed the crowd as the team players bowed. "How about a round of applause for our participating Sentinels tonight?"

The game resumed shortly, and everyone was thrusted back into the tension and thrill.

The second half was noticeably more tense, as FNC strived to regain their disadvantage and SMU strived to keep their advantage. The points kept shooting upwards, and you could barely stay in your seat, but you somehow kept yourself anchored down to it.

At this point, your throat was hoarse from screaming just as much as Felix and Karina were.

By the time the buzzer blared for the final time, there was no doubt about who won. Everyone shot up from their seats in screams of pride and happiness. It was a complete madhouse in the stands, but everyone allowed the players on opposite teams to have their moment congratulating each other respectfully and with good sportsmanship.

And then Chenle was jogging his way over to you, brushing his sweat-dampened hair back. There was a massive, ear to ear grin on his face, and it only widened as you stood up and offered him what he had prefaced you with earlier.

"Hi," he said simply, stepping into your embrace and wrapping his arms around you. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course. Thanks for inviting me." You stepped back from him. "Even if you're all sweaty and gross," you commented, dramatically scrunching your face up.

Chenle laughed loudly. "Okay, get back here!" He teased you, opening his arms as if he meant to cage you again in his embrace; only chuckled when you feigned disgust. He looked at Karina and Felix then, greeting the latter with a fistbump. "Thanks for coming, too, guys. Your support means a lot."

"You guys did fantastic out there," Karina complimented with an approving nod.

Felix jumped in. "Oh my god, yes! That was so amazing, dude! And dude, the view from court side?" His eyes rolled back as he ascended to nirvana.

Chenle shrugged his shoulders, smiling eyes meeting yours. "Well, I hope you continue to like it then."

Your blond friend froze. "What? Uh, I—does that mean…?"

A nod.

You were certain Felix might faint from excitement, or at least, go running around telling everyone he just scored however many seats at court side. Felix disappeared to exactly that, and Karina sighed.

"I should probably go keep an eye on him." She passed you a knowing look, hand brushing against your arm. "Meet me outside when you're ready to head out, 'kay?"

You nodded, and she was melting into the crowd.

"So how'd you like it?"

You whirled back to Chenle, who had his head slightly tilted and arms folded over his chest. There was that twinkle in his gaze as he looked at you, and you had a feeling yours mimicked that. "The game? It was a lot of fun. Your rapping skills, however?" You shook your head and ran your hand across your neck in a definitive no.

He chuckled, stepping closer to you and gently holding your arms. "Good thing you don't like me for my rap skills then."

"Who said I liked you, Zhong?" You teased.

"I did," he replied, effortlessly arrogant. "I mean, I like you, too, so."

There he went again, making your heart feel like it could unlock your ribcage and fly.

"God, you're stupid," was the only thing you could say in response. Your cheeks were definitely burning brighter than his jersey, and you had to avert your gaze for a few seconds.

"Stupidly handsome, sexy, talented." He adopted a mocking thoughtful expression. "The list goes on and on."

You laughed at that, voice trailing off. "Um, by the way, you really made Felix's night with that thing you said back there. So thanks for that."

Chenle licked his lips, nodding. "I'm glad, but did I make yours?"

"Hm?"

"I'm glad I made Felix's night," he repeated, just a tad slower this time and with a small tilt of the corners of his mouth, "but did I make your night? That's all I really wanted—to make your night."

There was no doubt about it. You could only answer one correct answer because it was completely and utterly true. "Yes," you told him. "You made my night." And you hoped this wouldn't be the last. No, you definitely knew this wouldn't be the last.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐕—

The Lucky Ones was written and directed by Huang Renjun, co-authored by his alumni friend Xiao Dejun, and sponsored by alumni and head of the SMU theater department Kim Doyoung. It was about this pair of teenagers who had fallen in love with each other, but realized later in life that their love had been quick to spark, and just as quick to sputter into ash and smoke. It was riveting, realistic, and alluring. The entire play was so well written and so well directed, and you wouldn't just say that because you were friends with the directors and playwrights.

As you strode through the bustling and chaos of backstage, you couldn't help the distinct feel of pride in your heart. All of this work to get everything to come together would be well worth it.

"Yn!" A familiar voice called to you from somewhere amongst the madness. Renjun was hustling over to you, the ends of his bow tie left undone, but his two-toned hair was styled to perfection. "What are you doing back here? You should be in the balcony already."

You rushed over to him and grabbed his tie, expertly and swiftly tying it into a bow. "I know, but Doyoung and Xiaojun needed me to smack some sense into you."

He scoffed. "Some sense? I'm completely fine. Not panicking, of course."

You gripped hard onto his shoulders and forced him to look at you. "Breathe, Jun. Just breathe. The show's gonna be perfect, okay? You've worked too damn hard for it not to be."

Renjun inhaled deeply, held it for a couple seconds, then exhaled slowly. He opened his eyes, nodding to you. "Okay. Yeah. I think I'm… calmer. Thank you, Yn."

"Good, okay." You smiled softly at him, his hand reaching to grab yours on his shoulder. "I'll see you in the balcony?"

"See you there. Say hi to Chenle for me?"

"Yeah, I'll let him know!"

In a few minutes, you had hustled your way out into the lobby and up the stairs to where the balcony for stage left was located. You knew that Chenle must already be waiting there for you, judging from the texts you saw light up your phone screen.

zhong: paging nurse to patient

zhong: i'm incredibly bored w/o my seatmate

zhong: nurse, i'm gonna need someone's hand to hold to get thru this

You snorted, covering your mouth sheepishly as you passed an older couple.

you: heels and velvet covered stairs do not go well

you: patience is a virtue

zhong: i just miss u 🤨 isn't that a virtue

You were already coming up on the doorway leading to the furthest balcony to the left. The usher at the door recognized you as the general stage manager, nodded and let you through. Even in your dark blue evening gown and fancy getup, you could still be recognized, which was reassuring. You definitely felt like you had overdone it.

The balcony was dark and relatively empty. There were a few couples scattered about the rows of seats, but you walked toward the lone form seated near the edge.

"You know, it was kind of embarrassing to walk in without a da—holy shit."

Chenle had twisted around in his seat only to find you making your way toward him in that dress. Well, to you, it was a dress. But to Chenle, it was the dress. The one he had subtly sent to Felix, who had sent it to Karina, who had sent it to you. It was quite the simple transaction, really, but god damn.

He thought you would look good, but he didn't think you would look this good. Like drop dead, fucking gorgeous. If he wasn't sitting, he might have dropped to his knees and prayed. Because what in the world had he done in his previous life to deserve meeting someone like you?

Of course, you were completely unaware of the purely simp thoughts running amuck in Chenle's head; you were only aware of the fact that he looked really handsome in his tux and that he was staring an awful lot.

"Hey," you said, settling in the seat next to him. "Is there, uh, something on my face?"

"Beauty," he said, almost in instinct, then cringed. "Sorry, that was the absolute worst."

You laughed, actually finding it funny. "No, that was good," you reassured with a very convincing nod of your head. "Renjun says hello. I had to go calm him before he started pacing. Hope you weren't waiting long."

Chenle nodded in understanding. "Ah, makes sense. No, I wasn't waiting long." He smiled at you. "Just couldn't wait to see you."

Flustered and flattered, you reached for his hand, lacing them over the arm rest between you. "Couldn't wait to see you, too. You clean up very nicely, Lele."

His lips parted, and you could've sworn his cheeks blushed a hard red. "Sorry, what?"

"Lele? You don't like the nickname—?"

"No, please—" he cleared his throat, hand squeezing yours lightly. "I—it's fine."

You grinned. You just made Zhong Chenle flustered. "Whatever you say, Lele. Anyway, thank you for coming tonight to see the show."

He regained composure quickly, to his credit. His thumb gently ran over your linked fingers. "Wouldn't miss it." For once, he couldn't choke out the words to tell you how beautiful you looked.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐕𝐈—

It was about a week later that you were groggily ruffling through your damp hair with a towel as you walked into your room. It had been an awfully long day at the café, and because Felix had a dance comp and because Chenle had an away game in another city, you were left by your lonesome, overworked and bored out of your mind. You were about to get Renjun or Karina to come keep you company, but then Chenle had actually called you at work.

For the remainder of your shift, you had one earbud in, listening to him talk about his day while he listened to you talk about yours. Since his first game, you tried to go to all of his home games, and if the away games weren't too far, you would try to make it to those as well. And after the opening night at the theater, the two of you had grown even closer. You were practically inseparable, so the hours-long phone call from today was well appreciated.

You kicked the door to your bedroom closed, aiming for your phone sitting on the nightstand connected to the charger. The screen had gone dark after you had taken a very indulgent hot shower. So much so that steam had trailed after you when you opened the door, and you were certain you would hear from the landlady about your hot water use again sometime this week. Or at least, you would hear from Karina.

"You took that long to shower and you didn't invite me over?"

You rolled your eyes and silently thanked god that Chenle wasn't here to see your smile. Yes, the call was still going. "In your wildest dreams, Zhong. And how would you have gotten here anyway? Cube is like at least a nine hour drive."

"Are you saying that if I was in town, you would have invited me to join you?" You could practically hear the smile in his words, the way his eyebrows would dance with intent.

"You're incorrigible." You hung your damp towel on the end of your bed and crawled under your covers. The phone screen lit up again as you tapped it awake to be met with Chenle's profile picture: him with his hair tied in a ponytail, like a little sprout. It had actually been lovingly sent to you by Chenle's best friend, Park Jisung, sometime last week after the two of you formally met. Chenle always teased you for admitting he was cute in the photo, but you knew that he had originally been so embarrassed when he found out, and even threatened to give Jisung the silent treatment for "betraying" him like that. That bit of intel was courtesy of some of Chenle's roommates, Jisung himself and Sungchan.

Speaking of…

"Is that Yn? Hi Yn-ieeeeeee!!!" Jisung and Sungchan choruses from somewhere in their shared hotel room.

You laughed warmly. "Hi guys! Lele, lemme talk to them."

A beat of silence passed, and the phone was handed over. Jisung's voice was a lot louder now. "Haha, Yn, Chenle-ssi's sulking now."

Sungchan chimed in, "Yeah, he glared at us just now."

"Ah well, I requested to speak with you both," you said. "I've been talking to him all evening. How are you both? How's Cube?"

"Oh," Jisung replied brightly, "it's so beautiful, actually! Their campus is really pretty."

"Yeah, I'm really glad we got to stay for a few days." This was Sungchan again. "Maybe next time you can tag along!"

You smiled, fidgeting with the hem of your blanket. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Okay, I think Chenle might beat our asses in the morning if he doesn't get the phone back this instant," Jisung laughed again.

The phone was passed for the second and last time tonight. There were sounds of shuffling again, then laughter from far off, and then a huff of annoyance. "Hi baby."

"Oh, stop sulking, Lele," you admonished playfully. "They only wanted to say hello."

"I know." You could hear him settle into his bed, or at least, sit down somewhere. "I like talking to you though."

"I know; I like talking to you, too." A thought suddenly occurred to you. "Don't you have practice tomorrow morning?" You asked him. You tucked yourself in, eyes pinned to his smiling face in the profile picture, suddenly wishing he was closer. "You should sleep."

Chenle's warm chuckle echoed through your phone. "You'll miss me too much, baby. But I'll let you fall asleep first, how does that sound?"

The corners of your mouth curled upward. "You're so stupid."

"Stupidly in love with you."

The words made your heart stop, and you swore you could hear a slap from the other side, as if he had slapped his hand over his mouth.

You sat up. You suddenly weren't too tired. "Lele… can we talk?" You asked quietly, sitting up against your headboard.

You heard shuffling and a curse from the other side, along with murmuring. After a door had closed in the background, he said, "Um yeah. Sorry, had to get out of the room. Uhm…" You would never know how fast his heart beat in that moment alone, the utter fear he held believing he might have just stepped over a line. "Sorry, was that too much?"

"Was it, like, a joke?" You bit your lip, then clarified, "Are you serious about that? Your feelings?"

A sigh. "Yn, I really like you. It scares me to bits how much I do."

Your nerves soothed at that. At least you were both feeling the same thing. "Okay, same," you murmured.

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm doing this over the goddamn phone!" He made a noise of anguish and you giggled. "I'm sorry, baby. No grand gesture," he groaned, "but we both feel the same way, right? Can I—can I be your boyfriend?"

Of course, he would give you the ultimate decision. And of course, there were no doubts in your mind.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐈—

You know those rumors you had been so worried about before? You couldn't give two shits about them now.

It was a Sunday, generally the only free day that you and Chenle shared consistently. Today, you were sitting in a window seat of a dim sum restaurant, gazing out at the duck pond just outside the window. The willow tree leaves drifted peacefully in the mid-spring breeze, flowers blooming in their wake. It was a beautiful scene to behold.

Arms came around from behind you, lips pressing to your temple. "Hi, baby. Sorry I'm late." Chenle slid into the seat across from you, freshly showered, and bright as usual. He wore a dark blue sweatshirt and dark jeans,with his Ray Bans hanging from his collar—just a casual look for a casual brunch date.

"It's okay; you had practice," you told him and brought your cup of tea to your lips. "How was it this morning?"

Chenle gave a half-hearted shrug. "Tiring, as usual, but good." The team had been practicing relentlessly this past week since finals were coming up soon. It was a miracle that the two of you even made time for each other since you and the theater company were gearing up for closing night of The Lucky Ones. Shows had been selling out just as fast as the seats in the stadium, and while you didn't watch every showing of the play like you did opening night, you were in the gym watching Chenle and his team beat every competitor who set foot in there.

This Friday would be finals between SMU and YGU, and when the Sentinels beat them too, Championships would be held next week. You were all hoping that Championships would be held at SMU instead of the other school. It wouldn't make a difference whether or not you would go, because you planned to definitely be there, but it would be great to have home court advantage.

As Chenle raised his hand and flagged down a nearing cart, your gaze wandered to the grassy pond area outside. It seemed to be a wonderland for all of the dogs whose owners were inside eating brunch without them, but they were all playing together.

The smell of fresh steamed buns and a whole smorgasbord of spices permeated your nose as BBQ pork buns, shrimp shumai, fried squid, and shrimp rice rolls drizzled with a sweet soy sauce were placed onto your table. Chenle was already whipping out his chopsticks and wiping them with a napkin. "Bon appetit." He followed where you had been looking briefly out the window. "So many cute dogs out there."

"I know," you cooed, reaching for a pork bun. "It'd be nice to have a dog. I think I've wanted one since I was a kid, actually, but owning a dog is like having a child."

"I have a dog," Chenle said offhandedly.

Your eyes positively lit up, and he chuckled at how cute you were. "You do? But I never see anyone else at your apartment."

"She's in Shanghai." He shoved the rest of the shumai into his mouth before reaching into his pocket and withdrawing his phone. "When I moved to Seoul," he said as he swiped through his phone with a furrowed brow, "I left her with my cousin, Ningning."

He then showed you his phone screen where a slightly younger version of Chenle was taking a selfie, but with a small, white ball of fur peeking over his shoulder.

The further he swiped, the more you just melted. "Aw, she's so cute. What's her name?"

Chenle smiled fondly at the photo he just pulled up. "Daegal. Yeah, I miss her a lot."

"Why didn't you bring her to college with you?" You asked and broke apart the bun, steam flowing up out of the yawning mouth of fluffy, white bread.

"Ah, I thought it would be too much of a hassle at the time, but I haven't been home for a while, so I haven't seen her in a long time." He suddenly frowned, and you figured it'd been awhile since he thought of going home. He must have been so immersed in his life here, and you wondered if he would have ever thought of going back.

"Have you ever thought about going home for a bit? Y'know, to take a break?"

His face shuttered, like he was thinking of something. "No, not for a long time." And by his clipped tone, you knew to not touch that subject. But he was back to his pleasant self in an instant, "So what's the plan for today? Go roller skating, go swimming—god, I haven't seen you in a bathing suit yet? What is this—"

You slapped a hand over his mouth, red seeping onto your cheeks. He only snickered under your palm, and you hoped that everyone around you either didn't hear that comment or was choosing to ignore it. Either way, you hoped it didn't draw too much attention. But then again, Chenle himself drew attention.

"Are you crazy?" You whisper-shouted at him after you removed your hand and sat back down in your seat. "Why'd you say that so loud?"

Chenle's eyebrows danced in amusement. "I'm very passionate about the subject."

You deadpanned. "Well, I don't think America heard you."

"America would be lucky to see you in a swimsuit," he shrugged and flagged down another cart, this time, with his eyes set on the Chinese broccoli in oyster sauce. His eyes twinkled. "As for me, I'd be very happy to see you in a swimsuit."

You tried to ignore the fact that your face was on fire. "You'll just have to wait then. I have a date."

Chenle wrinkled his nose at you sourly. "With who?"

"Felix and Karina—ooh, are those taro buns on that cart?"

Chenle was quick to flag down that cart, too, and got you a nice plate of four of them. He idly scratched his jaw, bottom lip pouting. "So I'm being cockblocked by your best friends?"

"Yah! Zhong Chenle!"

He bursted into laughter, the joyful sound drawing eyes, but making your fake anger melt away into fondness. "Sorry, baby, you're just so cute when you're flustered."

"That makes one of us," you muttered cheekily.

"Hey!"

You chuckled. "Deserved."

He made a face, cheeks puffed out as he scowled at the plates of food. "Remind me to not get you taro buns next time."

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈—

It was late when you finally made your way back in through the back door of the performing arts buildings, walking back to the theater through the back hallway. Tonight had been closing night of The Lucky Ones, and as usual, it had all gone incredibly well. Renjun, for the first time in the history of you knowing him, had bursted into tears as he bowed with his actors on the stage at curtain call. You had just walked the man to his car and now needed to hurry back to lock everything up for the night.

As you neared the backstage area, your footsteps faltered at the sound of music playing. Like from the grand piano backstage. You kept your footsteps light as you made your way toward the backstage door that was left open so the gentle serenade drifted out into the hall.

The stage lights had been turned off earlier to save energy, and the only light was from the little lightbulb hanging in the backstage area, above the piano.

You peered into the room, not wanting to interrupt the beautiful music being played, but knowing that no one else should be here. "Hello?"

The music stopped.

"I'm sorry," you said, stepping inside the doors, "but you're not supposed to… Lele?"

Even though he had a black hood thrown over his dark bangs, you still recognized his pretty eyes, rimmed in silver and red—like he'd been crying. He swiped at his damp cheeks, and you realized that, yes, he definitely had been.

"Oh, honey…" you murmured, rushing over to him and swallowing him in your embrace. Chenle wasted no time burying his face into the crook of your neck and hugging your waist tightly. Your hand gently rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe him. "Hey, are you okay, what's wrong?"

Last night was the game against YG, to which, of course, the Sentinels had won. Everyone had gone home jubilant and hyped for championships next week against HYBE U. Chenle had gone out to celebrate with his teammates last night, so you hadn't seen him since, only talked with him over call and text like usual. So maybe something had happened between that?

He sniffled. "You weren't answering your phone, so I came here, and you weren't in your office, so…" He half-heartedly gestured to the piano. "I thought I'd try to… distract myself a little."

You brushed your lips against his head. "I'm sorry, honey. I had my phone on silent for the show, and I was walking Renjun out to his car. I—do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "Just want you."

"Okay, that's okay." You patted his head gently. "I didn't know you played piano. You're really good." And that was the truth. The notes had flowed together as smoothly as a river, and it had almost lured you to dance on the stage—if you could dance. It was like his hands had been made to play.

"It's been awhile," he said as an explanation. "Did you like it?"

"I liked it a lot. It's so beautiful; just like you, you know that?"

Checked suddenly raised his head from your shoulder to look at you. You could see the glisten of unshed tears waiting to spill and follow their predecessors down the slopes of his cheeks. His bottom lip trembled. "Yn," he rasped, "be honest with me."

You prompted him to continue, worry plaguing your mind.

"Do you like me—just for my money? Are you with me because I pay for things and get you things and all that?"

So this was what this was about. You shook your head earnestly. "No. No, no, of course not, Chenle." You reached for his hands and laced your fingers together, both of you staring down at your hands. "Chenle, I like you because you're sweet and hilarious and brilliant. I like you because you make my days and you always care about how I am, that you're not afraid to be with me. You show me off, but you respect my boundaries; you support me like I want to support you all the time.

"Maybe the money is how you show your affection, and I appreciate it a lot, but it's not what I like about you," you told him. "Even if you were dirt poor, I wouldn't care. I would still feel the same about you." You saw the tears falling down his cheeks and reached up to brush them away. "Are you okay, Lele? Really?"

Chenle nodded, raising his head so you could see the trembling smile on his face. "You really mean all that?"

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't lie about something like that. And I hope I can show you just as much love as you deserve."

The flood would not stop; he swiped again at his tears. "Yn, I—" I love you. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for loving you, Chenle."

He lifted his hands up to cup your face in his hands, and he slowly brought your face to his. "Yn, can I kiss you?"

Your breath hitched in your throat. "Yeah," you nodded, "yeah, you can kiss me."

Chenle brought his mouth to yours, his salty tears on his lips and brushing against your cheeks. You slid closer to him on the piano stool and let him tilt your head back with one hand, the other sliding down your body to hold your waist. Everything about him overwhelmed your senses—the familiar scent of his expensive cologne, the feel of his hair between your fingers, his warm touch making butterflies soar in your stomach.

He slowly pulled away, forehead resting against yours as your breathing intermingled. Then he braced his hand against the stool right next to your leg and pushed himself closer to you, pressing his lips to yours once again.

Under the dull glow of the lightbulb, Chenle kissed you in the empty theater, the dead of night. His tears had dried up by now, no longer there, and he was hauling you onto his lap with your legs dangling off the side of the bench. His hands were everywhere, fingertips trailing fire through the fabric of your clothing. He was clinging onto dear life, memorizing your every curve and edge…

And you couldn't help but think of all the words he was trying to say through his actions.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐗—

Chenle did not wake up to the comfort of your weight on his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut from the light streaming through the bedroom window, and reached his arm over to the other side of the bed, only to meet cold sheets instead of your body that he could latch onto again. He groaned into the pillow and rolled over. When his eyes finally adjusted to the morning light, he sat up and let the sheets pool around his waist.

You had been sleeping over at his place for the past several nights, ever since he snuck into the theater at night to find you. You stayed here at his insistence, of course, but either he or you had to leave before the other woke up because of work, practice, or classes. Today, Friday, was Championship day.

He leaned over to his bedside table and grabbed his phone. A smile broke out onto his face at the sight of you as his lock screen. It was a picture from the opening night of The Lucky Ones, with you in that gorgeous blue gown. The two of you had taken a mirror selfie in the hallway of the theater, just before leaving for the night. His arm was settled comfortably on your waist, your body leaning into his. Your faces were hidden behind the phone, but it was enough to let anyone know that he was happily taken.

The inside home screen was just you, but much more recent. It was dinner right here in the penthouse, but caught candidly. You had been enraptured by the TV, mindlessly shoveling noodles into your mouth. He had caught the moment right before you were going to open your mouth again, with that innocent, cute dazed look in your eyes and the chopsticks of noodles held just below your chin.

He bit his lip with a smile and opened up your text chain. You had already left him a message.

bbygrl: good morning love <3 had to leave for my 8am

bbygrl: i'll c u later tonight for the game!! good luck and have a good day x

He was about to send you a message back when another notification appeared on his phone screen.

(鸡蛋 - egg ; 笨蛋 - stupid)

鸡蛋: chenle they're asking again, i can't keep stalling

笨蛋: u have to keep stalling

鸡蛋: idiot do u understand how difficult it is to withhold ur phone number from them??? AND maintain innocence???

鸡蛋: they're getting suspicious

笨蛋: uh get better at acting??? 🤨

鸡蛋: ur so fxking stupid.

Chenle exhaled sharply and swiped out of his cousin's direct texts and back to yours. Ningning was one of his closest cousins who still lived back in Shanghai. She not only took care of Daegal, but was also the person on the inside trying to stall to give him some more time. Time and freedom from what was a whole other can of worms.

lele: gm baby missed u this morning :(

bbygrl: you'll see me later

lele: ur texting in class? 🤭 bad, bad girl

lele: u should be punished

bbygrl: …if u shut up, i'll kiss u

lele: right now?? bEt

God, how did he go so long without kissing your face. He could feel the plushness of your lips on him right now, on his mouth, on his cheek, on his neck. He needed your lips stained red to stain his skin over and over again. He wanted you to scar him with your love.

bbygrl: sighs chenle go get ready for practice

lele: yes ma'am x love u

bbygrl: i love u too

And he giggled as he hopped out of bed and went to get ready for the day.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗—

Your heart was pounding as the timer on the scoreboard counted down. You were in the second half of the championship game against HYBE University, one of the up and comers lately who was just rising to popularity and in skill. They had a lot of new, talented players lately, but not enough to beat the Sentinels.

"—Choi passes to Lee! Ooh—blocked firmly by number 17, Bang Chan!"

Felix was gripping your hand tightly in his as the three of you—you, Karina, and Felix—all leaned forward in your seats to watch the game. You thought the tension was palpable during the first game of the season, but you clearly hadn't watched a championship game before. At this point, electricity buzzed through the air and the tension was so thick, you could probably cut it with a knife.

"Twenty seconds on the clock to break the tie! Number 30, Zhong, maneuvering his way through to get the ball to his teammates!"

You murmured under your breath like a prayer, "Come on, Lele. Come on, Chenle; you can do this."

Your eyes feverishly followed as Chenle dribbled the ball, only to get stopped by Lee Heeseung from Hybe U. Chenle made eye contact with Han Jisung and Park Jisung, both the only two the most open. He feigned left, then passed the ball between Heeseung and Choi Yeonjun.

In slow motion, you saw Huening Kai and Han Jisung go after the ball at the same time—then time returned to normal, fast paced vision, and Han Jisung swiped the ball and passed it to Sungchan. In a smooth alley oop, Sungchan caught the ball and dunked it into the basket.

"And the tie is broken with five seconds to spare!"

You saw the players converge on the ball under the net in an attempt to either get it to the other side in a miracle maneuver, or keep it closely guarded.

It was the latter, and victory rang through the gym with a loud air horn, along with showers of red and silver confetti.

After a brief exchange of sportsmanship from both teams, Chenle came barreling out of the crowd toward you like a bullet. Sweat glistened over the sharp planes of his grinning face, and he raked a hand through his dampened locks. You both collided together, you jumping up into his arms, him swinging you around, then kissing you firmly on the mouth. It said sincerely, earnestly, I love you.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐈—

"Hey, Chenle, how the hell did you get Yn to like you?"

Chenle lazily looked up from his phone to where Sungchan and Jisung were both gazing at him expectantly. They were all situated in Jisung and Sungchan's shared apartment at the moment, hanging out and watching the game. "It's called having a personality, Park."

Sungchan oohed at Chenle's burn, to which Jisung rolled his eyes.

Chenle laughed. "It's just one of those things, y'know? It happens if it should. If it's meant to be, it should." He shrugged, thinking about it for a moment more. "Guess I'm just really lucky."

"When did you get so sappy?" Sungchan teased as he shifted his position on the couch, smiling at his friend.

"He wasn't in love before," Jisung chimed in with a wagging finger in Chenle's direction. "So what? You're just gonna give all the credit to luck? You're one of the lucky ones?"

Chenle considered it. He picked up his can of sparkling water and dunked the rest of it down his throat. "Yeah. I mean, Yn's… Yn." He couldn't help the smile that crawled onto his face. "I got her attention at first, but I think I'm lucky she didn't just blow me off because I sounded like a douche."

Jisung snorted. "That you are."

Chenle rolled his eyes. "Shut up, singleton."

"Ugh, look what married life has done to you!" Sungchan groaned jokingly. "You gotta help me, dude. I wanna find true love."

"Only if you're serious."

Jisung wrinkled his nose and stood up to walk over to the kitchen and pour himself another glass of whatever he was drinking. "True love's dumb, but Yn's cool."

"Yn is cool," Sungchan agreed. "Chenle is not."

Chenle scowled, then rose from his seat. "I'm done being bullied by you two losers."

As he showed himself out of their cozy apartment, he heard Sungchan yell, "Say hi to Bestie Yn for me!" Chenle tsked under his breath and shook his head. But yes, going to see you would be a fantastic idea.

He quickly glanced at his phone for the time—4:59pm. He could probably swing by that chicken place you really liked and catch you for dinner. With a plan in his mind's eye, he hurried down to his car and sped off.

Chenle was coming out of the fried chicken eatery just a few blocks from your apartment when his phone lit up with an incoming call. He dumped the takeout bag into the front seat, but frowned down at the unknown number. He wasn't expecting a call, but he figured there was no harm in answering.

"Hello?"

"Son, it's been a while since I've heard your voice."

Chenle immediately hung up and blocked the number. He knew it was no use since they had his number now, but it made him feel slightly better as he took off toward your apartment. The whole way there, numbers continued to call his phone; he would probably have to power off his phone while he was up there with you, or just leave it here, in the car.

But when the stupid thing would not stop buzzing, he parked in your complex parking lot and picked up the call again.

"What do you want?"

A muscle feathered in his jaw as his father spoke on the other end. "That is a terrible way to greet your father, Chenle. We've been trying to reach you for several months now."

Chenle poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. He knew. "Yeah, and you have my number now." Unfortunately.

"You will be coming to the Spring Gala in May, won't you? I've already put you down as—"

"I'm not."

His father paused. "Excuse me?"

Chenle glared out the front windshield of his car. "I said I'm not. I don't have time to fly back and forth for that and school. And I don't want any part of whatever business scheme you and Mom want to drag me into."

There was a beat of silence on the other end, and Chenle was so close to calling it a victory. "You will fly back home and attend the gala, Zhong Chenle. You can make up for your schoolwork later. You have a future—a business to run."

"Against what will? My own." Chenle scoffed as he glanced at the car's clock on the console. He had to go now if he was gonna catch you before you actually started eating dinner. He grabbed the bag of chicken, squeezing his phone between his shoulder and ear, as he climbed out of the car. "I already know what's going to happen as soon as I get there. I refuse to acknowledge that I have a fiancée when I didn't even propose to her."

His father let out a disgruntled, irritated sigh. "Chenle—"

"No."

"Stop interrupting me—"

Chenle rolled his eyes as he pulled the phone away from his ear as his father lectured away on the other side of the phone. He silently counted to twenty in his head, kicking the lobby door of your apartment complex shut behind him, then trudged up the stairs with his other hand holding a bag of takeout. He pressed the phone to his ear. "Are you finished?"

"Zhong Chenle, have some manners and respect—"

Chenle nearly growled into the phone. "You want to talk manners and respect? How about not forcing me to marry a woman I'm not in love with? What is this? The 1800s?"

There was one more flight of stairs left and Chenle's voice echoed against the walls. He always complained about how your apartment complex lacked an elevator, and you would always reply with something sassy like "climb up the window then" or "buy them an elevator or something". The irony was that he could buy the landlord an elevator if he wanted to. But that would definitely be a bit of overkill.

And everything was perfect. Even without an elevator.

Well, so far. His father was threatening to screw everything up again, but Chenle liked to think he had everything under control.

"An alliance with Jin Tech is imperative."

"And marriage is the answer?" Chenle scoffed as he bursted onto your floor. He nodded and smiled a hello to one of your neighbors as he passed, before lowering his voice and hissing into the phone. "Nevermind. I don't have time for this now or ever. I'm not coming home so you and Mom can just ship me off to some woman I don't even know the name of!"

"Her name is Alice Jin—"

"I really don't care."

"I will disown you if you don't come home and meet your fiancée," his father's tone firm and stone cold serious. Chenle wasn't afraid of many things, but that tone made a shiver crawl down his back. "That's a promise."

He opened his mouth, ready to say something back so that his father didn't think those words affected him in any way—

"Lele?"

Chenle slammed his thumb against the end call button, slapping a smile onto his face. You were just unlocking your apartment with your hair falling in gentle waves down your shoulders and your small purse slung over your shoulder. "Baby!"

You smiled at him, unknowing and oblivious to the call he had just hung up on. You peered at him curiously. "Hi, honey, what're you doing here?"

"Eating dinner with you, silly," he chirped, breezing past you into your apartment. He set the bag on your kitchen table, already pulling containers out. "Thought I'd swing by 'cause I missed you at lunch, and I was on my way home and your favorite chicken place was just—well, there. So I obviously had to get some for you… what?"

You pursed your lips, an amused look settled on your pretty features. Jeez, you were so pretty. "Are you okay? You're a bit… frazzled right now."

Chenle's cheery expression dropped for a millisecond as his mind flashed back to the phone call. Come home for the spring gala. Meet your fiancée. But his grin was back in an instant. "Yeah, I'm good." He flicked his wrist, a brief dismissal of the subject, then suddenly pulled you into a hug. Shoving his face into the crook of your neck, he tried to suppress the wave of guilt and dread building up in his stomach. "Just missed you, baby."

Your warm arms came around him as you gently rubbed his back. "Oh, I missed you, too, Lele."

You won't when you find out, he thought to himself.

But for now, as you and him sat down together to have dinner, as he took in your laughter and smiling face, as he remembered all of the reasons why he fell in love with you… he could fool himself into thinking that this could be his forever.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐈𝐈—

Disownment. The word reverberated around in Chenle's skull as he sat in his desk chair at home, computer open. The screen displayed the Shanghai Airlines website page, his cursor primed over the "confirm" button. The page detailed a round-trip flight to Shanghai's Pudong International Airport, set for the Sunday night of spring break to the Saturday morning right before it ended. He didn't want to spend any more time than he needed to be.

This would be this upcoming weekend, which was happening far too soon, now that he thought about it. He couldn't… how was going to do this without the people he had around him now? He would have Ningning, and that was about it. Kun hardly went back home now, and you… oh god, what was he going to tell you?

Chenle buried his face in his hands, rubbed them over his eyes, wanted to wash everything away and to shut everything up. What was he going to do?

He reached over to the touchpad of his laptop and pressed the confirmation button. He might as well have signed away his freedom if he stepped foot back in Shanghai, but—that ten letter word haunted him to his core.

He couldn't breathe. Jesus Christ, he needed to breathe.

His phone buzzed from the table and sent his soul flying out of his body for a second. But then he saw your pretty face in the caller ID and knew the pounding of his heart wasn't just from anxiety, but from the pure feeling he had for you.

Without hesitation, he answered. "Hi baby. What's up?"

Your beautiful voice met his ears, like the voices of heaven. He stared at the confirmation for his flight on the laptop screen. "Hey honey, what're you up to?"

He swallowed, scratching the nape of his neck, then closed the lid of his laptop. "I'm, uhm, I actually just booked a flight back to Shanghai." He cleared his throat and walked away from the laptop, toward the window in the living room overlooking the city. "I'm going back for Spring Break."

"Oh, that's great! Sounds like so much fun, Lele."

If only you knew. "Yeah," he said half-heartedly.

You sensed his tone and told him gently, "Hey, are you getting enough sleep? I was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out at the office with me, but I'd rather you catch up on—"

"No, I'll be there." He was already halfway out the door, keys and jacket and wallet swiped on the way out. "I really need to get out of this apartment," he chuckled. "I'll meet you there? Or I can pick you up."

"I'm here already," you admitted cheekily. "I'll see you in five, love."

Chenle hummed. "See you then, baby. Love you."

"Love you, too. Drive safe."

When you hung up, he tucked his phone away to race off toward the university theater. On his way, however, he swung by the drive-thru Starbucks to grab you something to drink. Knowing you and the theater office, you would be there until you were literally drooling over manuscripts and bills. And knowing him, he would probably be knocked out as soon as he sat down.

He was striding in through the performer's entrance, passing by plenty of students and peers who he recognized ever since you and him became a "thing". But generally, as he greeted people he passed warmly and who greeted him the same way, he thought that he had been accepted here. His heart clenched at the thought. He had a basketball family, he had a community, he had his friends, he had you. What would happen in Shanghai? Would it change his entire life?

Knocking briefly on your closed door, he swiftly let himself into the room. Your head perked up at his entrance, and even more so at the cup of coffee in his hand.

"Oh my god, I love you!" You gasped, making grabby hands.

Chenle grinned, eyes smiling just like his mouth. You were so cute. He shook his head, pulling the coffee out of reach from you. "Nuh-uh, I want my compensation first."

You pouted, but you leaned up to press a kiss to his mouth. "Thank you, Lele. You're so thoughtful." You took the warm cup from him and took a careful sip.

He plopped into the seat across from you with a satisfied hum. "So what're you working overtime on today?"

"What do you mean overtime?" You asked innocently, your head already bowed over your documents.

"You know exactly what I mean." Chenle stood up and rounded the desk. Before you could object, he was lifting you off your chair. He sat himself in it, then placed you onto his lap. He peered over your shoulder. "Ew, why is that deadline so soon?"

You deadpanned. "That's exactly why I have to work overtime. The idiot at the office likes to give me this shit two weeks too late."

Chenle dug his nose into your neck to let the comforting smell of your perfume calm him down. Disownment. Shanghai. Fiancée. You. "Mm, the bastard. Want me to go talk to him?"

"No, it's okay. I'm good at making deadlines."

His mind wandered off to those skyscrapers across the Yellow Sea. Five days away from here. Things could change in five days. "Do you think you'd be done by dinner? We could go out to eat."

You made a noise of approval. "Yeah, I can be done by then. Any ideas?"

"You can choose. I just have an idea for afterwards. A moment of spontaneity, if you will."

You laughed. "We're planning it out beforehand, honey, that's not spontaneity."

Chenle pouted into your skin, wrapped his arms around you, and draped his body over your back. He watched your pen twirl and spin through your fingers. "Close enough."

"Well, what did you have in mind?"

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈—

The last thing you thought Chenle would do was drive you to some random neighborhood and to its sketchy basketball court, caged in the classic wire fencing and with amber street lights as its only light source. It was perhaps nine o'clock at night, and you had just finished eating dinner (finishing that document had taken a little longer than anticipated, but Chenle had seemed content to wait). The sky had darkened to a midnight cobalt, and you couldn't really see the stars, but it was a clear night out.

Chenle parked along the curb just across from the gate and was already tearing his seatbelt off.

You balked for just a moment. "Uhhhh, is this where I get murdered and dumped in an abandoned parking lot?"

He rolled his eyes. "Aish, you're so dramatic," he joked, tugging at your hand, "come on. I have a ball in the trunk."

The car door slammed shut on his side after he climbed out, and you were left in the silence of the empty car. Was that euphemism or…?

You slapped your hand to your forehead; you spent way too much time with Chenle. Not sparing another moment thinking about it, you followed Chenle out into the cool night. He was already hunched over the trunk of his car, digging through his basketball duffle bag.

"Jesus, you need to wash that thing," you grimaced, taking a step back.

He only laughed, pulling a basketball out of seemingly nowhere and slamming the trunk closed. He locked the car, offering his free hand to you. "I'm doing laundry before I leave," he reassured.

"I'd hope so," you muttered and faked a gag.

As Chenle pushed past the gate, you took a second to really look around at your surroundings. It was a classic neighborhood park with a playground over a little ways down the path, a grassy hill for kids and dogs to run around on, and of course, this court. There was a tennis court connected to it on one side of the fence, too.

Chenle released your hand and started to dribble as soon as his foot hit the faded lines outlining the basketball court on the grey cement. He dribbled the ball all the way to the three pointer line, stopped, then shot.

Nothing but net.

He grinned at you. "Easy enough. Your turn."

You sent him an incredulous look. "I don't think so."

He made a face, jogging over to get the ball back and to dribble it over toward you. He passed it, letting it bounce once before you caught it in your hands. It seemed like a very high quality (?) basketball, like it wouldn't deflate on you. To be honest, you probably hadn't touched a basketball since high school, and you told Chenle as much.

"Well, that's why I'm here, silly," he said and guided you over and across the court so you stood at midcourt. "Remember how to dribble?"

"I do." And you idly began dribbling the ball in place, using the pads of your fingers to push the ball down against the cement.

"Good," he praised. "Now dribble up to inner court."

"Say please," you stuck your tongue out at him over your shoulder, but walked and dribbled the ball all the way to the inner court. You figured you probably couldn't make a basket from the three pointer line anyway.

Once you were at inner court, you stopped the ball in your hands and made a sad attempt at shooting the ball into the net. It rebounded hard off the rim, and Chenle stopped it midair with one hand. He passed it to his other before returning it to the cement to be dribbled.

"That was cute."

You wrinkled your nose at him. "Oh, shut up."

He chuckled, placing the ball back into your hands. He stood behind you and guided your arms in the correct form. His voice was seated right by your ear, the warmth of his breath sending zaps of energy down your spine and to your curling toes. "You just need to follow through. Like this."

His hands moved yours to mimic correct shooting technique. Then he added, "You want to make sure when you shoot, your hands follow through and send it where it should be. If your hands aren't directed toward the hoop, it probably won't go in."

You nodded, and once you felt him take a step back, you tried again. You let the ball boost off the page of your fingertips once more, this time, keeping your follow-through. The ball didn't make it in the hoop, but it rolled around the rim once before slipping off the edge.

"Damn," you murmured and went to retrieve it.

"That was a lot better though," Chenle said with a glimmer in his eyes. You could feel the excitement and amusement rolling off him in waves. "Try again."

And you did. Until you made a stupid basket.

"Yes, yes, yes! Let's go!" You shouted, jumping for absolute fucking joy. Your grinning face met his as you stomped your foot on the ground in victory. "Did you see that? I finally got one!"

Chenle chuckled, nodding and indulging you with applause. "I did, baby. I'm proud of you."

The two of you would end up passing the ball around to each other, one of you taking a shot here or there. He taught you how to play Horse, too, and eventually, he went to get a mini Bluetooth speaker from his magical dufflebag to play some music.

"This is not fair!" You growled, nearly climbing up him like a tree as he held the basketball high above his head. "Chenle!"

Your boyfriend giggled like a maniac, not even bothering to fend you off as you braced your arms on his shoulders and tried to hoist yourself up. You clawed at the air in desperate attempts to get the ball from him, but the bastard was messing with you. "You're almost there, Yn-ie! Look!"

You were not.

You glared at him.

Chenle's laughter faded just a little bit. "Okay, okay. I'll give you the ball back if I get my compensation."

"That sounds familiar," you said, easily going up to him. You hauled him down by his neck, despite his squawk of surprise, and kissed him. As you pulled back, your teeth nipped his bottom lip.

His thumb came up to graze his bottom lip, tongue licking it, eyes growing darker. "Come here."

You giggled, backing away. "No."

"Yn," he said while slowly approaching you like a predator to his prey. He set the basketball down. "Come here, baby."

"No, no, no—AH!" Your laughter filled the night air as you darted off across the court, making a large loop around the wired perimeter. Chenle was hot on your tail the entire time, his own laughter intermingling with yours.

You were heaving for breath (goddamn, you were out of shape), and so clearly, Chenle caught you. He wound his arms around you, caged you in his embrace. You squealed, squirming in his hold, but he held fast and tight.

It was at this moment that both Chenle and you recognized the song playing. It was an old one, the lyrics prefaced by the melody of trumpets and violins.

"You know how to waltz, Zhong?"

He pulled a smile, but it was like there was something sad in it. "Ballroom dance. But yeah."

You mocked a curtsy to him. "May I have this dance then?"

He answered you by holding out his hand for you to take. You placed your right hand in his, and he guided you to the middle of the basketball court. You placed your left hand on his shoulder, his free hand on your waist. And you both marked the three-fourths time before stepping into the sway of a waltz.

You let your cheek rest against his chest as he pulled you closer and you were just swaying to the beat. Chenle rested the side of his cheek against your head, pressing a kiss to your hairline.

You could hear the speed of his heart, the quickness of its beat.

"Lele."

"Mhm."

"I love you."

His heartbeat quickened under your ear. Ba-thump, ba-thump, ba-thump.

He swallowed. "Yn, I love you, too."

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐈𝐕—

"Oh my god, how does Chenle stand you? You're so boooooring, Yn." Felix groaned from where he laid upside down on your couch. His socked feet were sticking up the back, giving you a strange view from your vantage point in the kitchen.

You had just dropped Chenle off at the airport to head off to Shanghai about an hour ago. He had been an awful lot clingier the past few days leading up to the trip, but you supposed you understood since he would be leaving Seoul after being here for so long. New-old environments could be weird.

You were a little worried about him, but maybe that was just the thought of being away from him for five days. You'd gone days without seeing each other, but that was because you frequently called and texted. You didn't know what he'd be doing in Shanghai, but you were sure you could pick up any call he dialled. You weren't doing anything spectacular this break anyway.

In response to Felix, you said nothing. Instead, you marched over to the couch and flicked the arches of his feet.

He helped in surprise, using his miraculous abdominal muscles to haul his head up from the ground to glare at you. "Hey! Rude."

"Hey you," you snorted. You collapsed on the couch next to him. "And I am not boring. I just haven't hung out with you in a while solo."

Karina was going to visit her home in Gyeonggi-do for the week, so Felix had temporarily become your roommate. He didn't plan to visit Australia until summer break hit. It was just the two of you, but you were alright with that. You and Felix still worked at the café together anyway; it would just be fully you two for a week now.

Felix grumbled and pulled himself onto the couch to sit upright. "I know. You and Chenle are so busy being disgustingly in love. I mean, you can date someone and still hang out with your favorite Australian, can't you?"

"I think I like Chan better—I'msorrydon'thurtme!" You squealed, leaping from the couch when he feigned pouncing at you.

He settled in his spot again, pouting, but he reminded you of Mofy Duck as you looked at him. "But you and Chenle seem to be getting really serious though, yeah?"

You sat back down on the couch and sighed in content. "Yeah. I dunno, Lix. I think… you know—I'd spend my whole life with him."

"Really?" He pocketed his phone and so the two of you zoned into the conversation. "I mean, no, that's fantastic. It's great, Yn. And I'm so happy for you. I did not think that Chenle sauntering through the door of the café that day would end in something like this, but… I think it's beautiful, what you two have, I mean."

"Oh, thank you Lix. That means a lot." You pulled your knees up to your chest. "He really does saunter, huh."

Felix pressed his lips together, nodding. "He does."

You and Felix shared a laugh. You hoped Chenle was going to have a good time in Shanghai. In an hour, hopefully, you would receive word from him that he had safely landed.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐕—

Chenle wanted to leave. He wanted to leave now.

There was nothing wrong with the city of Shanghai. God, he had missed this place, with all of the smells and sights and feelings. It was his childhood, where he had grown up. He would have loved to bring you here one day.

The plane had landed, safely and smoothly, as per usual. As soon as he had access to signal, he was shooting you text after text, before his family's hired security company was carting him off into a black SUV. He would have preferred to drive himself, but he supposed this allowed him to text back and forth with you.

He didn't want to give away his displeasure about being here to you, so he took pictures of the city sights he passed by, described any and all of the food smells he detected, and sent them all to you. It was like you were right next to him, experiencing all of this yourself. He knew it wouldn't live up to the real thing, but he would make do.

He knew he drew closer to the family apartments even before they got off the highway. He could feel the thrum of the coast, could see the grey sea in the distance, then the dark and cream tiled roofs of the apartments. They were built in a modern spin on traditional Chinese architecture, and they had become very familiar to Chenle.

The family apartments were not the typical apartment complexes like the one you lived in, but a row of small houses pressed up against each other to squeeze into the limited space of Shanghai's city limits. Each house-apartment was built with luxury and comfort in mind, however, and each apartment featured a connected backyard space that looked out at the sea view. Backyards were separated by large hedges for privacy, as well.

Chenle's foot hit the car floor rapidly as the car approached the first apartment. He didn't expect his parents to be waiting outside for his arrival or to be there at the airport to pick him up; he was hardly surprised at this point. It just made everything easier to swallow.

Bags were pulled out of the trunk, and Chenle reluctantly trudged up the steps into his family home.

It was just as he remembered: dark oak floors, traditional poetry and paintings hung on the walls, his mother's pet project Bonsai trees scattered about hallway tables. It was like walking through a time capsule; that was how stuck in the past his family was.

He feared a collision course with his family earlier than was necessary, and escaped up to his room where he could probably have at least a couple minutes of calm before the storm. Or, at least until Ningning came with Daegal. He grabbed his backpack and suitcase, then hightailed it up the stairs.

As he locked himself in his room, he felt his phone buzz to life once more.

鸡蛋: hey loser i'm almost there

鸡蛋: i think bb daegal can sense that she's going to c u

bbygrl: *image sent* here's my pet chick for the week

bbygrl: he says *i'm* the boring one 😒 and he fell asleep on the couch

bbygrl: u better send pics of daegal 🤨🔪

Chenle settled on the edge of his bed, still crisp and made from when he left. Nothing else had been touched over the course of the years he hadn't been here, but it was still nostalgic enough. All the posters of NBA players, the keyboard in the corner.

笨蛋: well i'm excited to see her too

笨蛋: and ig u too..

lele: jeez say pls first baby :/

lele: haha u should write loser on his forehead

bbygrl: i knew there was a reason y i liked u 😁

lele: uH HELLAUR??

There was a knock on the door. "Chenle xiansheng, Ning xiaojie has arrived."

He didn't recognize the voice from the other side, but figured his parents had hired a few more staff members for the household since he left. "Oh, uh, send her up, please. Thank you!"

The footsteps withdrew from the door, and Chenle set his phone on the bedside table.

He stood up, walking over to the floor to ceiling window that doubled as a balcony door. It looked out at the sea from here. Chenle braced his hand against the doorframe and gazed out. Maybe he should send you a picture of the waves as they pulled and pushed along the shoreline.

"Jesus, you look like you're in some bad C-drama." The door opened to his room without a knock, followed by the tap-tap-tap of little paws along wood and an ebullient bark. "That's the most excited she's been in awhile."

Chenle whirled around and knelt to the ground as a furry white blur came crashing into him. He chuckled, hugging Daegal to his chest as she lapped at his face. "Hi Daegal. I missed you," he cooed.

Ning Yizhuo, Chenle's cousin from Harbin, stood in the doorway with a smile on her face. Her long hair was dyed a fiery red, just like her attitude. While her parents were partners at Chenle's parents' company, she wouldn't get a piece of the pie due to "traditional" inheritance rules. It was stupid, but now, she modeled for luxury brands and designed her own clothes, too. Chenle might find her irritating at times, but he had always admired her strength and independence.

He raised his head up to her as he picked Daegal up in his arms. "Thanks for watching over her." His hand idly ran through her fur and scratched behind her ears.

Ningning nodded, shifting her weight from foot to foot. She closed his bedroom door behind her. "How's life, cousin? Seoul treating you well?"

"It's…" he sighed. "It's better than I could've ever imagined."

"That's good to hear," then she added, "I'm glad you've enjoyed your freedom."

Chenle's mood soured, and he set Daegal down. The dog scurried around his legs once or twice before giving up and running over to jump into his bed.

Ningning lowered onto the edge of his bed and massaged Daegal's stomach. "Sorry, that's probably a bad way to put it."

"No, it's all right. That's pretty much what it is, right?" He shook his head and picked up his phone again. He went back to the window and snapped a quick picture of the view to send to you.

lele: *image sent* it's prettier when it's sunny

bbygrl: it's still pretty when it's gray

lele: i think ur prettier anyway

bbygrl: always a flatterer aren't u?

lele: what can i say? give compliments where compliments r due ;)

"Does she make you happy?"

Chenle snapped out of her daze, the smile still evident on his face. "Huh?"

Ningning inclined her head to his phone. "I'm guessing that's your girlfriend. Or partner."

He worried his bottom lip between his teeth. "Yeah, she's… yeah. You better not—"

"I thought you knew me better than that, Chenle." She arched a brow at him in slight teasing. But there was that sadness in her eyes, too. Chenle knew why. Even if she wasn't getting her parents' company, she still had their name. She was subject to just about the same rules as he was.

"Right. Sorry."

"So what are you gonna do?" Ningning asked him. "You know that they're gonna make you meet her at least once while you're here. I bet they have some kind of dinner planned already."

That wasn't even a question in Chenle's mind. His five days here were going to be the busiest and most exhausting five days of his life, probably. He could see it now, meal after meeting after meal after meeting. His parents were going to soak the life out of him while they could. And then some.

Another knock on the door. "Chenle xiansheng, your parents would like to see you in their home office."

Chenle inwardly cursed. He'd hoped they would let him settle in first. "Hao ah, thank you. Give me five minutes."

Once the footsteps had left, Ningning brushed a hand over Daegal's coat. "Need moral support?"

"When do I not need moral support to talk to my parents?" He joked. Chenle slipped his phone into his pocket, scratched Daegal's head one more time, then left the room.

As he walked down the hallway and down the steps again toward his parents' home office, Chenle willed his heart to slow. His hands were even getting clammy and he wondered how he'd grown so soft in his time away that he was like a kid again in this house. Where was the spine he'd grown? He'd need it before facing the wolves this week.

Chenle brushed a hand through his hair as he stood before the engraved doors to the home office. It was in the shape of a circle, split directly down the middle. With a deep breath, he knocked on the door and pushed the doors open.

There were three people standing inside the office, surrounding the big mahogany desk at the far wall. He recognized his father in the office chair and his mother standing at his side. The young woman standing across from them was familiar, but he couldn't put a name to the face. Then again, there were very few options as to who she was racing through the forefront of his mind.

He had a sneaking suspicion.

"Ah, my son has finally graced us with his presence." His father did not stand, did not smile. "Close the door."

Say please. Chenle closed the door. As he approached slowly, his nod of greeting was more akin to a bow. "Fumuhao." (fùmù = formal word for parents; hǎo = a form of greeting lol idrk how to explain it)

"At least he has some manners left," his father commented.

Chenle's jaw clenched.

"Well," his father continued, "I suppose I should not dawdle any longer. Chenle, meet Miss Jin."

The young woman bowed shallowly to him in greeting and he returned the gesture. Her expression was the dictionary definition of polite.

"She's your fiancée."

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐕𝐈—

You felt like your stomach was about to explode. Dazed and half comatose, you reached for the remote and lowered the volume of whatever romcom was playing on the TV now. Felix's head was slumped over on the other side of the couch, light snores emitting from his parted lips. The smell of brownies filled and lingered in the apartment air, making you sigh in content. You wondered why Felix never started a brownie business.

You reached for your phone, which had been discarded on the couch cushions beside your body, and you picked it up. No messages, no missed calls. This had been the same thing for the past day and a half. Absolute radio silence from Chenle.

And you were… happy? At least, you thought you were, but only because this had to be an indication that he was having fun. Right?

You weren't too sure and you thought he would at least send you a check up message to assure you he was alive. This wasn't very… Chenle of him? But you didn't want to bother, and you had slowed down your messages for a bit.

You bit your lip, hesitantly typing out another few words to send.

you: hey honey just woke up from a post-brownie hangover lmao u really need to try lix's brownies

you: hope ur having fun over there! :) love you

"He still hasn't responded?"

You shook your head, as Felix drowsily pulled himself from dream land. His eyes fluttered and squinted to adjust to the light of the TV screen. The sky outside the apartment was dark, since the two of you had chosen to stay in this afternoon to make brownies. Then you both crashed in a food coma until now.

"He's probably just really busy," you told him, mainly trying to convince yourself. You feigned nonchalance as you tossed your phone back onto the couch and stood up. "Want some water? I think I need to flush out all the sugar I inhaled earlier," you mused.

Felix cleared his throat. "Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. Get me some please?"

"Sure." You pulled two glasses from the cabinet and filled them with water from the filtered dispenser into the fridge.

Felix called from the couch. "I think you got a message."

You nearly dropped both glasses right there.

He chuckled as you messily handed him both cups to pick up your phone.

lele: sorry i haven't been able to text u babe

lele: save some brownies for me tho 😞 love u too x

A smile bloomed on your face like the rising of the sun. He was okay.

you: dw abt it love! i'll c u in a few days x

You knew you probably wouldn't get a text back right away, but a girl could hope.

Felix noticed the shift in your mood. He scratched the side of his neck, peering down at his phone. "Chan's hosting a small get-together at his dorm. You think you're up for it? We don't have to go if you don't want to."

But you could see that Felix was itching to do something. And that he believed this might help you. It would do no good sitting around moping about your boyfriend who was gone. Where was your independent self now? You gave him a nod and stood up again, stretching your arms over your head. "Yeah, we can go. I'll go put on something presentable."

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈—

The tie around Chenle's neck was practically a noose. He had a terrible feeling that if he wasn't on his toes, the fabric would tighten around his neck and keep squeezing. The sky outside his window was already dark like the abyss, meaning the charity gala being held here had begun. He could hear cars pulling up to the driveway and guests chattering below. His parents were supposed to be announcing his return soon, so he just bided his time upstairs until he was needed.

Somebody knocked gently on the door, and he was mentally preparing himself to be summoned downstairs.

"Chenle xiansheng, it's Jin xiaojie. Could I… speak with you for a moment?"

He couldn't tell if this was better or worse. But then again, the brief and polite conversations he'd had with Alice Jin over the past couple of days had been okay to say the least. She was quiet, not timid, but she didn't say anything that wasn't expected of her. He figured she was in the same boat as him.

"Uhm, yeah. You can come in." Chenle scratched the back of his neck instead of raking his hand through his freshly done hair. He stood awkwardly in the middle of his own childhood bedroom as he watched Alice slip inside and quietly close the door behind her.

She was pretty, actually. She had a heart shaped face and high cheekbones, with her dark hair partly pulled into an elegant hairdo. She wore an embroidered red qipao that accentuated her slim figure, but put her as the center of all of your parents' standards. It was no wonder they were so eager to welcome her to the family.

But he loved you, not her; he didn't even know her, other than their fates were inexplicably intertwined now.

"I'm going to speak freely," she told him, crossing her arms over her chest. "You and I both don't want this."

He huffed, leaning against the edge of his desk. "No kidding."

"But we have to." Those words settled uncomfortably in his chest. The truth was so difficult to swallow. "And we have to put on a show for those pigs out there, no matter what our true feelings are." She spat out the word pigs with the most emotion Chenle had ever experienced from her. It made him listen really closely.

Alice released a trembling breath. "My parents made me break up with my boyfriend for this, and I'm guessing you must have had a partner, too?"

"I still have one," he corrected. For now. Oh my god, he needed to text you back.

She pursed her lips. "Well, good for you, I guess."

He thought he heard bitterness in her tone, and maybe a hint of sadness. He felt guilt rise in his throat; she had already let go of her boyfriend, but he couldn't bring himself to let you go. He didn't want to, not yet. You were one of the best things that had happened to him.

"This is going to be weird for us, trust me, I know." Alice turned her gaze out to the window, staring out into the obsidian night sky and the infinitely dark sea. "But… I figured you could pretend I'm her, and I could pretend you're him."

Chenle rubbed a hand over his face. "Okay. Yeah, okay." He could do this. He could do this, right?

"They're gonna need us to come out soon. We need to be there when they announce our engagement anyway," she laughed wryly.

That made him pause. "Wait what? I thought they were just announcing my return?"

Alice furrowed her brows at him. "Surely you didn't just think that, Chenle? This isn't a charity gala; it's our engagement party."

Fucking hell. Chenle swore, wanting to scoop his eyeballs out. That meant there was press here specifically to report on how he had a fiancée. This was not good. He didn't know how he had convinced himself that the press wouldn't focus too much on him, but on the charity gala as per usual. He was a certified idiot.

"Chenle, you need to breathe."

He felt her hands planted firmly on his shoulders. She was standing too close, too close—

Alice backed away, apology in her eyes. "You really thought they wouldn't publicise it and hark on the opportunity?"

"I was optimistic." And stupid.

His phone buzzed.

"You should answer her," she told him, gesturing to his device on the nightstand. "But we need to go afterward."

He nodded and swiped his phone up. A small smile pulled at his lips as he read through the words you sent. He quickly sent back a couple messages, wishing he could see your face for some semblance of strength. When he was done, he left the phone on the nightstand again.

Chenle swallowed his pride and offered Alice his arm. She graciously linked her arm with his.

"Ready to go put on our first performance?" She asked. The smile on her face looked loving, but he saw the sad empathy in the fine lines.

He tried his best to return that expression, to channel as much love for you he had and to show that to her. "Ready as I'll ever be."

The two of them walked out of the bedroom together as staff rushed to and fro, hurrying past or allowing them to pass. They received compliments to their cleaned up appearances and elegance, and they accepted all of the comments with perfect decorum. As they were expected to do.

Alice suddenly stopped before they were about to round the corner to the stairway. Chenle could hear the sounds of chatter and laughter from downstairs.

"Oh, I almost forgot." She glanced up at him, murmuring softly with that same smile plastered on her face. "Did your parents give you the ring?"

"Ring?" Chenle didn't recall receiving one, but he patted down the pockets of his suit. He wasn't even surprised when he found a diamond ring in the top left inside pocket of his suit blazer. The massive rock glistened in the hallway lights. He imagined what it might have been like if he was putting the ring on your finger instead of hers.

The ring slipped onto Alice's ring finger perfectly. Like his parents had measured her finger to the millimeter and had been curated especially for her.

Alice tested the ring's weight, curling her fingers and examining the diamond's luster. "I once wanted to become a geologist when I was a kid."

"I wanted to be in the NBA," he chuckled. "Guess we all have dreams."

Alice considered him for a moment with a sideways smile. "We're gonna be okay, Chenle. We'll make it through tonight."

He nodded. "I know. Thanks." Just pretend it's Yn. You can do this, Chenle.

They returned their arms to each other, each taking a deep breath in. Then the two of them rounded the corner and met the wolves with blinding lights and pretty masks.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈—

Thursday morning, you woke up to the sound of murmuring outside your bedroom door. You groggily noted the sunlight streaming through your window and estimated that it was probably late afternoon. You and Felix had been out late last night at Bang Chan's apartment, playing Cards Against Humanity and bonding with a few of Chenle's basketball teammates, Felix's dance team, and others as well.

—Was that Karina's voice out there?

You tossed your covers back and stumbled out of your room, half dazed on sleep.

Karina and Felix were conversing at the kitchen counter, solemn expressions on their faces. Karina's suitcase sat by the door as if she had just gotten back from the airport. Felix buried his face into his hands and you wondered what was going on.

"Hey Karina, I didn't think you'd be back until later tonight," you said, shuffling over to hug your friend.

Karina hugged you tight. "Hey, Ynie. Yeah, I was supposed to fly in tonight, but… uhm, something came up." She exchanged a glance with Felix.

You frowned, looking between them. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah!" Felix stammered. "I was just talking to Karina about our work schedule for next week. Boss put me on extra hours."

You immediately frowned. "Wait what? Did he ask you beforehand?"

"No, but—"

"Let me talk to him," you offered, already hurrying back into your room to find your phone. "He knows you have a dance competition coming up."

Karina and Felix's faces drained of their blood and they chased after you, wide-eyed in panic. "Yn, wait! Don't look at your—phone…"

They stopped in the middle of your bedroom. You were hunched over your nightstand, nose deep in your phone. You were frozen, heart sinking into your stomach. Your phone had been blowing up while you were asleep with people sending you some clippings of some headlines. Most of the headlines were in Mandarin, but there were a couple in Korean.

"ZHONG CHENLE AND JIN ALICE: ENGAGED"

"ZHONG CORPORATIONS AND JIN TECH TO BE BROUGHT TOGETHER IN HOLY MATRIMONY"

"CHENLE & ALICE: READ ALL ABOUT THEIR LOVE EXPRESSED AT THEIR ENGAGEMENT PARTY"

You could feel arms around you, holding you close against their chest. Then another set pulling you toward them, too. Was this real? It had to be, right? There were too many different sources that it couldn't have been fake. And too many people had sent it to her, asking about your relationship and if you were aware.

No, you weren't aware.

Goddamn, how could you have known? Just last night, you thought you were still in a loving, healthy relationship. Now? Apparently your boyfriend was engaged to another woman.

The phone was wrenched from your fingers and you were guided to sit on your bed. Breathe, breathe, breathe—

"Yn? Honey, do you want some water? Some space?" Karina asked softly, kneeling down in front of you so she met your eyes.

You blankly shook your head, wiped your eyes. "I need to ask him—" You cleared your congested throat, "—I need to get a hold of him. I want to know how he's gonna explain this to me."

I want him to say it to my face.

Felix frowned sympathetically. "Yn, I don't think that's…"

"Lix, give her the phone, please," Karina said. She held out her hand and Felix placed the device into her palm. She passed it to you and monitored you as you furiously pulled up his text message chain.

you: hey can we talk? pls?

you: I just want to know what's going on I'm so confused

you: if u want to break up w me, have some dignity and do it to my face

You trembled as a response came in, but you couldn't tell if it was from anger, sadness, panic, or all three.

lele: don't contact this number anymore

Then he blocked you.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐈𝐗—

You were probably insane, but at this exact moment in time, you convinced yourself that you were in the right. You deserved closure. And if Zhong Chenle lacked the balls to come to you and explain it to you himself, then you would march right up to his stupid penthouse apartment and give him a piece of your goddamn mind.

Chenle had been back from Shanghai for the past two days—it was currently the Monday after spring break. There had been nothing from him, as you expected. You were bound to take matters into your own hands to see exactly what went wrong. A handful of Chenle's friends who you had got acquainted with like Park Jisung and Jung Sungchan had reached out to you. They were really nice about it all, but couldn't offer any more information than you already knew. It seemed like no one knew what the hell was going on except for Chenle.

As a now engaged man—you thought of that title bitterly—he probably had the whole world's eyes on him. If he went to see you, everyone would pounce on the opportunity at a scandal. It was a disaster in the making. But maybe you needed a disaster. You'd felt far too helpless lately.

The doorman at Chenle's apartment greeted you warmly, and you made sure to wish him well. After all, he wasn't the one who deserved your wrath.

As you rose up in the elevator, you drummed your fingers nervously against the seam of your jeans. You had been rehearsing what you were gonna say ever since you woke up this morning, ready to hurt someone. You were adamant about getting your closure, and you knew Chenle didn't have classes until noon. So that gave you three hours to get shit settled.

The elevator arrived with a cheerful and metallic ding on his floor.

"Hello? Who—oh."

There he was, standing in slippers and his pajamas in the middle of the living room. He seemed surprised to see you for a moment, but that emotion vanished in an instant. You didn't recognize this Chenle. Fundamentally, nothing had changed about him, but you felt the shift. You felt the discomfort and tension, worse than it was at the Championship game. (That felt so long ago now.)

"How the hell did you get in?" He asked you, crossing his arms over his chest.

You stepped into the living room, not moving a step closer to him. This—this felt weird. Shouldn't the doorman have forewarned him you were on your way up? "The doorman, obviously. We need to talk."

"We're talking."

You know what? Screw the script. "What happened, Lele? What happened in Shanghai, what happened to us, what—"

"What do you mean 'us', Yn?" His tone made you start. "Can't you take a hint? I'm engaged to another woman, and you're just talking about the past?"

Your nostrils flared. "You mean the past that was literally a day beforehand? Chenle, what the hell? You don't even have the fucking decency to say you're sorry, but to block me without an explanation."

He rolled his eyes, like he had better things to do than to have this conversation with you. "You're really stupid, you know?"

"What?"

"You're really stupid." He tucked his hands into his pants pockets now, stance casual and gaze calculating. "You haven't figured it out yet?"

You wished you could speak. Fuck, you wished you could get words out.

"You were just a distraction, Yn. Just someone to have fun with before I needed to take over my responsibilities at the company."

You couldn't breathe. "Just a distraction."

He laughed, cruel and dark and wry. This was not your Chenle. But did your Chenle even exist? "You really thought I would keep you around? I have greater things in life than all this here in Seoul." Greater things than you, he seemed to say.

Wounded and heartbroken, you mustered all of your energy toward not crying or showing weakness. You held your head up high. "Guess you're even worse than the rumors say you are," you told him as calmly as you could. "Congrats on your engagement, and congrats on somehow living with such a shit personality. Have a nice, fake life."

You turned away and jammed the elevator button, willing it to come fetch you. Neither you nor Chenle said anything else as you left the penthouse. But as soon as the doors closed, your body shook so hard you fell against the wall, and you couldn't hold back the flood anymore.

Distraction. You were just a distraction.

For Chenle, the world was crashing down around him—walls crumbling, gravity flipping upside down. You had left with a stinging remark, and he couldn't bring himself to insult you anymore as you left. He was already breaking down as it was, collapsing onto the couch and trying to keep tears at bay.

How could he forgive himself for hurting you like that?

"You're a fucking dumbass."

"How could you talk to her like that? Don't you have any compassion?"

Chenle could feel Jisung and Sungchan practically run into the living room from his inner bedroom, where they had been hiding when you came in. He wouldn't have been able to do all that if it was in front of his friends, which was pretty pathetic of him, but he knew they heard everything. And they were rightfully furious at him for it.

Jisung planted himself on the glass coffee table in front of him, barely concealed rage on his face. "Have you any decency? Why the hell are you fucking crying when you just talked to her like that?"

Sungchan stood beside Jisung, arms crossed over his chest. "C'mon, Chenle. Aren't you gonna at least try to defend yourself? That was some pretty messed up shit you told her."

"I know," he croaked. Was it hot in here? "I was going to explain it all before she got here, but…" Well, you had gotten here before he could.

"So then explain," Jisung demanded. "You go to Shanghai for five days and all of a sudden you're engaged to some woman none of us know, you're acting like a douchebag, and you break Yn's heart. You told us yourself that you loved her. What the hell happened?"

Sungchan set a hand on Jisung's shoulder. "Jisungie-ah, calm down a little. Let's hear what he has to say."

They looked at Chenle.

Chenle leaned back against the couch cushions, eyes red with unshed tears. "My parents had my life planned out since I was born. Since I'm inheriting an empire, they had to ensure the future of it was in the right hands. Which also meant that they were going to pick who I married. They told me before I left for college here that I had a fiancée already and to keep that in mind, or some shit. I've been trying to avoid it, but it came to bite me in the ass when I met Yn.

"They basically threatened to disown me if I didn't fly back home and meet my alleged fiancée. And as much as I despise my parents for all the shit they've given me, I don't…" he struggled to find the words. "I don't want…"

Sungchan's expression was understanding. "You don't want to be without family. You still want that bond and you don't want to let people down, but you have to."

Chenle made a sad, noncommittal wave of his hand. "Yeah. That."

Jisung started at the floor, lips parted. "I'm sorry for going off on you like that. And I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. But what you said was so brash—"

"Jisung, trust me, I know." Chenle let the emotion roll down his cheeks. He couldn't bottle it up any longer. "I want to throw up right now just thinking about what I said to her."

"Make it right, then."

"I'll have my ass beat if my parents hear. Everyone is watching me now. It's better if she leaves and never looks back." The press were harking for a scandal. If he so much as looked in your direction again in public, he was going to get a strongly worded warning from his parents. He was in a bind, and he didn't know what to do anymore.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐗—

Five days later, you were very close to committing murder.

You had managed to fool everyone, and even yourself, for a couple days that you were handling the breakup fine. You had gotten closure, and that had allowed you to scream and yell and cry it all out. But then you went right back to normal, albeit a little more of a workaholic than you used to be. Renjun and Doyoung were frequent visitors to your office and often had to drag you out by your ear. Felix forced you to make drinks and pastries while he dealt with customers at the café, probably for fear you would either snap or break down.

And you were fine. You were doing fine, you really were.

Until you were walking across campus to the library and heard the whispering, saw the pointing. And watched as Chenle and his fiancée walked arm in arm down the sidewalk toward you. You almost broke down on the spot, your legs were shaking so badly.

You made eye contact with Chenle for a split second, before you were speed walking past them, like you were never there in the first place. They had looked… content. And you wanted so badly to be happy for him, and to move the fuck on.

But that was just wishful thinking. Like you wishing this was all a fever dream or a misunderstanding.

Instead, everything you had experienced with Chenle felt like a mirage. All of it—had all of it been fake?

Today at the café, it was just you. Felix had a dance competition and Karina was on her way, but she wouldn't be here until later. You were slouched over the coffee machine, waiting for the cup to fill up.

"Hey, uhm, Yn."

"Hm?"

Liu Yangyang winced as he leaned over the counter, afraid to set you off. He didn't want you crying again; he hated when you cried, because he never knew how to help. "The coffee's spilling over."

You cursed, looking down. Indeed, dark bitter brew sloshed over the sides and onto your shoes. It stained your already dirty sneakers a dreadful dark brown. You groaned, smacking your palm against your forehead. "Damn it. Sorry Yangyang."

The man bit his lip. He knew you were struggling, and he felt bad that he needed coffee all the time. "It's okay. I can still drink that."

The coffee burned your fingers as you carefully slapped a lid on it and handed it to him. "I'm so sorry; I'm literally a mess right now."

"Take a break," he pleaded softly. He usually sat in the corner of the café on his laptop to do his work, but recently, he had moved up to the counter to monitor you. "Yn, please. No one's here; you can take a break. Come sit and talk to me."

He pouted at your hesitation. "I'm lonely."

You rolled your eyes, but wiped your hands on a towel and made your way around the counter. He grinned in utter delight (and relief) as you slid onto the open stool next to him.

Yangyang leaned his cheek against his fist as he looked at you—really looked at you. "Talk to me. Spill it all out; I can take it."

"I uhm…" you wrung your hands together. "I saw him." You struggled to swallow, already feeling your nose begin to sting. "I saw him walking on campus with her. I dunno why she's here, but she is and I—" a shudder quaked through your body and Yangyang frowned. "I thought I was gonna fall over, Yang, that's how badly I was shaking.

"God, I love him so much and it hurts so bad. I wish I could just stay mad at him, but all I feel is sorry. Sorry for myself, sorry for him, sorry for… I don't even know." You threw your hands in the air and let them flop onto your legs.

Yangyang scrunched his brows. "Why do you feel sorry for him? From what I heard, he's the one who should be sorry."

You shrugged. "I have a feeling this is arranged. Maybe he feels trapped; maybe he doesn't. Yeah, he was a jerk about it, but the more I think about it, the more I feel sorry for him. He has to live with himself like that. I don't even know if he's happy."

"You're so…" Yangyang tugged at the strands of his hair. "Why are you so nice?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you so nice!" He repeated in indignation, hands thrusted out for effect. "You said it yourself—he was a jerk about it, and yet, you want him to be happy. I demand whipped cream and sprinkles on my cold brew, and you say 'okay, that'll be 6,000 won'. I don't understand you."

You didn't know how he did it, but you were smiling, and then you were laughing.

Yangyang continued his little ruse, with even more dramatised movements. "And even like five minutes ago! You were gonna redo my entire cup of coffee, and you're still here instead of getting some other person to fill your hours for you. God, can you stop being such a good person?"

You sniffled, smiling down at the café counter. "Thanks, Yangyang. You're really good at this, y'know."

He shook his head, but the tips of his ears were turning pink. "Nah. I'm just a clown." He brought his cup to his mouth and took a grimacing sip. "Jesus, this is foul. Why am I even drinking this?"

"You ordered it, dumbass," you deadpanned.

He whined, "Well—I thought it was really easy for you to make, so I ordered it! I didn't want you to have to work too hard, but it still tastes like trash." He gagged, tongue hanging out of his mouth. "Ugh, I need a whole can of whipped cream after this one. I—"

The door to the café slammed closed, and your soul nearly left your body. Standing there in all his glory was Chenle. He had a glare fixed on you and Yangyang, and you couldn't tell how to feel about it. Yangyang, in classic Yangyang fashion, glared back.

You sighed, quickly heading for the counter as Chenle strode over to it. You grabbed the pencil from behind your ear and twirled it nervously between your fingers as the touchscreen loaded up. "Hi, um, dark coffee?"

Chenle nodded, pulling out his wallet. "Yeah, and an iced green tea, please." He wordlessly handed you, not a black card, but a regular old visa.

You didn't think much of it, but you grabbed it and quickly inserted the chip into the reader after inputting the order. So she drinks green tea, huh? "Here you go. Your order will be called shortly."

Without waiting for his reply, you scurried over to the counter against the far wall and began preparing his order. You wondered why he hadn't brought his fiancée along with him, but then again, did you want him to? You supposed this was better, but it was still killing you inside. You wanted the old Chenle back.

When you were finished, your voice was embarrassingly soft as you called his name. Chenle took the cups from you, fingers brushing against yours.

You were ready to turn away, to pretend he didn't exist, when he stopped you short. "Yn."

You hated how hopeful you were. Absolutely hated yourself for it. All he would do would break you some more.

You watched his Adam's apple bob in a rough swallow. "I'm sorry."

Yangyang nearly toppled over his stool as he lurched to his feet. "You have no fucking right—"

"Hey, stop it." You gave Yangyang an earnest look, pleading him to back down.

"But Yn!"

You shook your head firmly. This wasn't worth it. With a flick of your arm toward the door, you addressed Chenle. "I think you should leave."

His gaze lingered on you for a moment, but he surrendered, and left the shop.

For a moment or two, you and Yangyang were quiet. The only noises were coming from the speaker's overhead playing lo-fi music. You focused on your breathing: in for three, hold for three, out for three.

I'm sorry. Did he even mean it? You were just a distraction.

"Yn," Yangyang muttered. "What the fuck was that?"

"You think I know?" You tugged a towel from your waist apron and turned your back to him to start wiping down the counter you had spilled coffee all over. You needed to grab a mop, too, for the mess you'd made on the floor. You felt Yangyang's eyes on you for a while, but he must have given up after a few minutes.

Or he must have realized you couldn't face him after what happened. Because no matter what Zhong Chenle did or said, you would still be so pathetically in love with him.

—𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝐗𝐗𝐈—

Summer hit you like a basketball in the face. With classes out of session for the break, you dove headfirst into your work either at the theater or at the café. You worked overtime, you took people's shifts, you worked until you wanted to cry and pass out.

You had accepted a lot of things. It would be a long time before you were okay again, but you were a patient person. Your friends—Felix, Karina, Yangyang, Renjun—all tried in their own special ways to make you feel better and to keep you in check. They dragged you out for karaoke, for BBQ, for impulsive shopping trips. They made you feel like yourself again, from before you met the man you had fallen so fast and hard for.

Those feelings, unfortunately, would never fade. And even if you still couldn't stand seeing articles about them, you knew you were slowly accepting it. Because you were never meant to be with him. Perhaps you were soulmates, but this wasn't the lifetime that you would get the happy ending. And some days, you wanted to commit crimes because you were so fucking pissed, but you were learning to live with it all.

It was late when you finally made your way to the backdoor of the performing arts buildings. You knew Renjun would kill you if he knew you came back, but you just remembered that you forgot your phone on your office desk.

Your paces were fast as you unlocked the theater door and let yourself in.

It was déjà vu.

The melodious sound of piano keys being played met your ears as they drifted out into the back hallway. The notes and melody were a familiar sound, and you suddenly felt a wave of emotion crash over you in a tsunami wave. You could remove that night like it was yesterday.

You slowly and quietly traced your steps to the backstage door to the theater. It was cracked open, just like that night, except you remember you had locked that when you'd left. He must have picked the lock or something.

Gently, you pushed the door open.

He had his head bowed over the keys of the piano as he played. His fingers danced as they pressed keys, like they had been made to play.

A week ago, you and Doyoung had decided to move the piano. The two of you had turned it around, so now, the bench and keys faced the door. So you watched his perfect posture, upper body clad in a regular old black hoodie.

"You're not supposed to be here."

His shoulders stiffened slightly, but he brought his fingers to a slow halt. "Sorry," he cleared his throat, "I… didn't think anyone was here."

He had picked the lock. He really didn't think anyone would be here.

You dared a step closer. "Chenle," you sighed, "what are you doing here? You have a piano in your apartment."

Chenle pulled his legs over the side of the bench so he faced you now. You could see the lines on his face under the dim light of the lightbulb, the roughness from stress and lack of sleep. It worried you to see him in such a state, such misery. But then you reminded yourself of his words to you and how it had all played out. He was the one who had broken your heart and smashed it into pieces, and left you to pick up the broken pieces. He had promised you the world—and you had been stupid enough to believe him.

"I—" he paused, "I don't even know. Yn, I don't even know why I'm here. I just needed to get out of the apartment and…" He halted on his words, thinking better than to repeat them.

Distract himself. Yeah, you figured.

You were tempted to tell him to go distract himself elsewhere, but you couldn't bring yourself to. You didn't want your sanctuary tainted by his memory.

You didn't know what you were doing and why you were doing it, but your feet carried you over to the piano bench and you sat down next to him. You felt the heat of his arm and leg by yours, wondered how easy it would be to be pressed up against him again. How good it would feel to have him in your arms for just one last time.

"How are you?" You suddenly asked. "How've you been?"

He tapped his fingers against his knee. "Really bad, honestly. How about you? You look happy with, uhm, Yangyang. I'm glad."

You shook your head. "We're just friends." Because you ruined everyone else for me.

"He makes you smile—"

"So did you."

Silence. Your heartbeat thundered loudly in your ears and you wondered again why he was here. Why he was tormenting you like this. Couldn't he ruin your life once and deem it over?

"You don't have to accept my apology," he started again. "You don't have to even listen to me right now, but I'm so sorry, Yn."

You didn't want to listen, but you did.

"I'm sorry," he croaked. "Everything I said—I hate myself for every word I said to you that day. Because all I wanted to say to you was that the engagement is a scam and I don't love Alice, and never will love her—not like I love you. Because what we had was the realest thing I have ever had in my life and I wish we had more time."

When you didn't respond, Chenle said, "It's no excuse. They threatened to disown me, and I didn't know how to tell you because I really am just a coward and a scared, little kid. And… you brought the best out of me, the best memories I will ever have in my life. And I'm just so sorry.

"You were never just a distraction, Yn," he rasped, "you were so real to me. I was trying to push you away, but… I wanted—still want—to spend the rest of my life with you. And I know you'd probably never take me back, but I'm trying to find a way out of this."

You stared at the black stage floor, licking your lips. Your hands were shaking. "You're wrong." You inhaled softly, breathed it out. "I would take you back—in a heartbeat. But Chenle, if you ever find a way out of this…"

The two of you looked at each other then, eyes finally clashing and colliding in an explosion akin to that of a dying star. Your love had burned bright and burned fast.

"It won't be easy. I won't make it easy."

Chenle smiled then through his silver-lined eyes. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you. I'll win you back. I promise."

Something settled in your chest, like the calming of waves. They smoothed out, brushed against the shoreline, but they didn't kick up in the winds anymore. This—this was the closure you needed. It was not whatever that screaming match of insults had been, but this.

"Can I… can I hold you? Just one more time."

You pursed your lips to suppress your bottom lip's trembling as you nodded.

Chenle leaned toward you and wrapped his arms securely around your body. He tugged you closer, and you leaned into his familiar and comforting embrace. You inhaled the smell of his cologne and allowed all of him to engulf and overwhelm your senses. You let his hands hold you tight, let him memorize your every curve and edge and inch.

And as you and Chenle sat there in silence together, you thought about how the boy who had everything had loved too hard and lost it all. But in his actions, there were about a thousand unspoken words, and for now, that would be enough.

"Thank you," he whispered into your hairline, lips pressed to your head and tears in his voice, "for everything."

You squeezed his hand. "You don't ever have to thank me for loving you, Chenle."

ending credits/aka my condolences: sorry chenle, i mayhaps did u dirty, but lmk what u guys think 😌💀

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