#I can't bare to be friends with him

[jichanxo]

i think the thing that really gets to me about kuwagami is that even if they never see each other again they'll probably think about each other for the rest of their lives

#yagami takayuki #takayuki yagami #kuwana jin #kuwagami #lost judgment #lost judgment spoilers #judge eyes #judgment #jichanart #i can't believe i made kuwagami art that BARELY has kuwana in it lmao #well he's the text pov so it's fine #accidental rainbow colour scheme lol #that shot of yagami with his friends but his smile slowly fading as he thinks about kuwana? fucked up. FUCKED UP #like tell me yagami in his 50s/60s isn't going to sometimes think of him and wonder if he's still on the run or if he's even alive #breakup so messy they irreversibly changed each other. real divorce hours

[orionsgirdle]

laudna telling pâté to speak quietly. laudna hiding him away, trying to make him small, smaller than he already is. laudna telling pâté to be sad, be SADDER, because someone has died. laudna still talking to herself when she talks to pâté.

#i hope they can become friends one day #maybe laudna can't love him right now because she put too much of herself in him #and it's too much right now #to see all of that externalized #laid bare #after all her friends had walked through all her worst memories like a fucked up amusement park #without her permission #critical role #cr3 #i'm sad for my rat son #cr spoilers

[fuedalreesespieces]

attempts were made to change the subject

#what do you mean this isn't how the episode goes #this entire episode is so fun lmao #any episode where he's in the future is always good #i can't imagine being kagome's friends meeting this guy who i imagined to be a sketchy loser only for him to come in through the window #wearing that bandanna #still can't believe how he's getting away with wearing things that barely cover up his hanyou features #also i can't draw so bear with me until i get off my ass and actually write some fanfic #inuyasha #inuyasha anime #inukag #inuyasha kagome #kagome higurashi #inuyasha fanart #inuyasha a feudal fairy tale

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

#tw religion? #kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on #some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago #liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not #tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much #i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different #things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how #id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet #but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that #and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on #you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding #things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc #life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam #me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you' #AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you' #even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that' #and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone #(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it) #(nothing even ever started you bitchass) #also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it #mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal.. #but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared #my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN #'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean #i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective #but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back #and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever #anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol #def gonna delete later #but ty for reading if u did <3

[aromantic-diaries]

You don't even know how great it is that I don't have to use a proper name here. I have a weird thing about names

#off-topic #personal ramblings #i can't stand my deadname and i've tried several new ones but none of them felt right after a while #also i barely ever call anyone by their name and always use their nickname if they have one #like bob and jimmy. their names are not bob or jimmy. and like bob's only known as bob in choir. but i still call him bob #and my best friend. i only refer to them by their name when i'm talking about them. not when i'm talking to them. i just call them bro

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

i don't know maybe it's the translation i read but i guess i always thought it was made fairly clear that shuro never legitimately hated laios so much as he resented him for being able to be the way he was. much like laios (albeit for very different reasons) shuro's affect is frequently commented on by others to be strange and at a mismatch with the prevailing culture around him, being very reticent to the point of the part where he tells the girl he likes that he likes her being when he Proposed. quite a few characters say something to this effect! shuro was raised in formality and stoicism and i think has a tendency towards not rocking the boat even besides that, and now here's this guy who breaks every one of his rules and he makes it look so easy. it's like a two-pronged frustration of "doesn't this guy understand that you can't just do that" and "fuck, what would it feel like to be able to do that." of course he gets mad! it's frustration, but it's also envy.

#the nemesis speaks #after their fight they're very chill/friendly and in the nightmares chapter laios literally says something to the effect of #''i thought we worked this out already!'' when dream shuro shows up. so he does consider that fight to be Working Things Out #&that like. imo makes it pretty clear that shuro's dislike of laios was never like inherent? it was just another product of him not- #-being able to say clearly when he likes or doesn't like something. trying to keep a lid on that pot until it boiled over #once the air had been cleared and laios was aware of it- i mean the relief of that honesty must have been- #-kind of fresh air to shuro atp regardless after not saying anything for so long. #& i think you can't bare that much of your soul to another person without becoming friends at least a little bit #plus all of shuro's actions after that chap and his demeanor towards laios are much warmer in general #idk where i'm going with this i guess tl;dr it's not even that shuro hates laios' autistic traits it's that they're like- #-out of place socially in opposite directions and shuro dislikes how unfamiliar laios is but also kind of wants to be more like him #this is beyond just the fact that the final line of their fight (in the translation at least) was quite literally #''that's the part of you that i envy''

[introspectivememories]

shanks' need/desire to protect his friends and family from anything and everything vs buggy's gigantic inferiority complex that makes him take any act of protection/love as someone looking down on him, FIGHT

#buggy could trip and shanks could catch him bc god forbid buggy hurts his knees #and instead of saying thank you buggy just goes: what? you think i can't handle hitting my knees? you think im too weak? #what this man needs is the world's most patient therapist #and on the other end i think shanks' desire to protect his friends and family does come off as condescending smtimes #and like all of his emotions are dialed up to a 100 when it comes to buggy #and so at a certain point it does come off as possessive and off-putting and i think that's why buggy chafes at it so much #bc buggy barely belongs to himself as is and i don't think he could handle all of shanks' desire #like buggy already thinks he's weak and cowardly. less than in every sense and then on top of that to have shanks protect him?? #it would ruin him i think #and like of course shanks doesn't understand!!! what is there to understand when you've always been good at everything? #he loves his people and he loves buggy especially so and he wants to take care of them!! all the power he has is just a tool he uses to kee #them safe. and i do think there is a voice in shanks' head that says 'just take buggy. he can't resist anyway. you could keep him safe by #your side. he'd never be in danger at your side. just take him' but shanks knows that's one step too far and so he never does it. #anyway the occupy way too much of my brain space these days #one piece #buggy the clown #op buggy #buggy one piece #akagami no shanks #op shanks #shanks one piece #shuggy #shanks x buggy

[theabbystabby]

You know how people get seasonal depression? I'm getting, like, reverse seasonal depression. I'm depressed because I live in Minnesota and there's no snow. There hasn't BEEN snow. Just rain, fog, and dead leaves.

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love everything about it. And the snow ties it all together with a neat bow. Yeah, sure. It's a pain in the butt when we get A TON of it, and when ice comes into play. But we live up north. It just comes with the territory. It's not only beautiful, but it's something we need environmentally. It's super unsettling that we've only been dusted with snow twice and it didn't stay for more than two days.

It's made it really hard to enjoy the things I love most about December. Lights and decorations don't dazzle me as much, the brown views are so hard on the eyes, hyper awareness of the state of our environment weighs heavy on me, and it's just... Soul crushing. This year has been awful for me for a lot of reasons, and this feels like salt in the wound.

It's going to be a sad, dreary Christmas. And I don't know what to do.

#Vent #My Art #Never have I ever been so fucked up around Christmas #This is the worst #I feel like I'm in hell #I rarely look forward to anything more than Christmas each year and its been stripped #I can't even Christmas shop like I want to #I have so many friends I want to spoil and I can't #I was barely able to get my brother anything #The only thing I look forward to is maybe spending time with him #But he's been working himself to death and needs rest #I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to have that day for himself #ugh #please let there be snow on Christmas Day #Even just a bit #That's my Christmas wish #If we don't get anything (or god forbid it RAINS) I'll cry #No joke #Sorry for being so dramatic #I'm not feeling good

[notbeetle]

Honestly I suspect that the whole thing with like, Wildbow's inadvertent adding of homoerotic subtext or whatnot is really just downstream of the fact that regardless of gender his protagonists always have their deepest, most emotionally meaningful connections with women. Literally the only exception to this rule is Evan from Pact and he's literally fucking eight years old so nobody is shipping that.

#hawk.txt #parahumans #sure there's ty and shit but Blake barely interacts with him - it's Alexis and Tiff that he actually connects with in-story #Gordon is never really that close to Sy and then he.. uh.. can't say because spoilers or whatnot but. #Also “Jamie” turns out to be a transgender woman so doesn't count as male best friend #but seriously though read Worm and then Pact and tell me that if Taylor was male Wildbow wouldn't treat Smugbug and Wolfspider like #....god it's annoying that Lillian and Mary don't have codenames #uh... Doctern and Wyverseed or something? idk #i mean he basically does it's not even fucking subtext they literally kiss but like. in wog and such #wormblr #twigblr #pactblr

[the-lark-ascending69]

> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!'' #i have several grips about that interpretation #going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply) #to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take #a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his #inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect #him to be that smart #but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way #it fine #what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao #who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3) #3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too #like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's #rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc #the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭 #also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw #unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it) #like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her. #she's his friend. #but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones #where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭 #anti steddie #not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone #edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel #drowned in st3ddie posts #like something isn't right here

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

..

#having some rough days lately friends #break is coming up soon but I'm not sure how to feel in the meantime #I'm really struggling with understanding and handling well my feelings tbh #my main issue right now is that I have LONGED for community for SO long #and I hoped so badly that I would find it here #but now that I'm here and with community at my fingertips it feels like I cannot join in for some reason??? #I'm struggling not to isolate and I'm feeling like I don't belong and I know better than to care about what people think #but I want to know what they think?? I want to know that people like me?? #I want to know that people like me for ME not just in some vaguely spiritual way where they have to keep me from sin??? #but I'm so tired lately and struggling to focus and I don't have people to talk to about it frankly here #and I can't shake the feeling that wanting people to lean on is sinful (because I should lean on God alone right? expecting other people #to fill the spot that I should have reserved for him is sin?) #I don't know anymore. I'm sorry for dumping this on you people here but I need somewhere to put it that isn't just my journal. #pray for me please. I feel like I can barely pray anymore myself. which is a terrible place to be when at a Christian university. #delete later

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

every once in awhile i go absolutely insane over leopika for literally no reason. it's like i get jumpscared by feelings

#it's weird for me especially because i'm really not much of a shipper #but yeah. do you ever just. they're so good #also they make me feel pain #do you ever think about how kurapika looked for a doctor to help pairo. about how leorio wanted to become a doctor for pietro #do you ever think about how circumstances made it too late to save their friends. but. #the first person kurapika truly meets on his journey to become a hunter is. a future doctor. #and leorio makes kurapika feel calmer. thereby helping him even when he thinks he can't reach him. dfjvhnsifdr #look i just want leorio to play a role in the upcoming succession war arc chapters ok? please. #storyrambles #not putting this in tags i'm just spewing barely connected thoughts

[extra-somethin-somethin]

hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification

#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ... #im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!! #keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots #in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say #and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that #anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared #she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend #now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko #whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble #you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i #and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd #i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke #who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan #to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair #yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair #so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼 #the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be #she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that #dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me #the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way #idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it #character analysis #yukimura keiko #yu yu hakusho

[floralovebot]

And Another Thing it's not like i Don't like roygarth or that i'm particularly Against the ship cause no. but i think their canon relationship is so much more interesting than this weird fanon version of them where they were always Best Buds.

like canon roygarth starts with them being angsty teens dealing with their own shit and fully refusing to understand each other. garth latches on to everyone who's even a Little nice to him and roy is stuck in his I Don't Need Friends They Disappoint Me stage. roy also has very high standards for himself and gets pissy with garth cause he feels like garth shouldn't be a hero. which obviously sets garth off because he Also feels like he shouldn't be a hero but the other titans were usually supportive and understanding whereas roy would actually say it and insult him directly.

And Then garth fucks off and only talks to the titans when they talk to him first, then he's Fine Again but goes through Rough Shit. meanwhile roy's life is Also falling apart. but they get older and they get more mature and they get to this point in their life where they don't Want to fight each other anymore. the titans are their home and they're constantly losing people and they don't Want to lose what little they have left. but they also won't apologize or talk about what happened because they're both emotionally repressed so they just never clear shit up.

it's obvious that later on roy Does respect garth and Does see him as a hero, but he never apologizes for what he said in the past so garth still has doubts. and garth starts to gradually leave the titans out of stuff and only update them once a fucking year so roy is like ?? What Are We??? and as adults you can see that playful banter and that familiarity they have with each other and yeah it IS genuine but it's also burying all the blood bad they never actually sorted.

they're just in this really weird zone where they're Family but they're not Friends. they would give their life for the other but they never talk. they pretend to understand the other but they don't know anything going on in their life. they're best friends and they're just some guys. like imo their canon relationship is so interesting and has So Many Layers that really highlight their individual problems but the fanon version is always like "yeah sometimes they sass each other :)". like.

#yeah im still thinking about them what of it what are you gonna do about it #ajhdgljagd #like i think its so interesting how they really only became 'friends' because theyre so familiar with each other despite not being close #like roy is Not close with garth in the same way that he's close with dick #and vice versa hell man garth feels more comfortable with Wally The Republican than with roy #but theyve known each other for So Long and theyve both lost so much that they just can't do it anymore #they can't fight they can't insult they can't force themselves to not understand the other #but neither of them want to bring that shit up either so they just... start acting like they were always buds #and its Weird and Awkward #roy still doesn't understand what jokes are okay and garth still takes things way too literally #but they're Trying and they do respect the other but they also REFUSE to actually talk it out #they both refuse to talk about their personal lives with the other and only give the most bare basic necessities #garth still has insecurities and feels like roy actually hates him and doesn't want him there #roy still feels bad but is also still burned from garth being too nosy or not understanding his addiction #and like. that's just so much more interesting than yeah sometimes roy calls garth a fish hahah funny right #dc #garth of shayeris

[june-again]

i am so glad i'm finally dating someone who cares about fashion and about doing silly things like taking pictures and about school he cares about school and he likes learning and trying new things oh lord he actually likes trying new things

#june shines #OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE #underrated quality #emotional maturity + openness to experience + general curiosity about life the universe and everything + he actually wants to hang out with #MY FRIENDS. #and and and #he's clear and straightforward which is like bare minumum yall if ur mans ain't clear and straightforward please Do Not The Man #music be the june of love #oh and he's a musician. TOO. on top of everything. #i #i just can't get over it #like it's more than oohagohoghgoh he like me oagohagohago i like him too it's like Oh we have similar interests and our personalities mesh #i'm going to be so fucked up when this guy breaks my heart #and it's not because i rely on him for anything particularly #like i know i'm all that and i don't need him to tell me (though he does) #but #he. we #we're something #we do be girlblogging apparently

[zevrans]

💀

#i haven't played bg3 for like 5 days or so because i am super busy and my brain decided that's ain't going to work and it NEEDS bg3 content #even if it is of its own production - saw bg3 related dream last night help 😭😭😭 #i don't remember much except that there was a cutscene (i am both in it AND out if it makes sense in weird dream logic) #and after the cutscene shadowheart?? i'm not even sure it was entirely her but it was a woman who without prompt kisses my character 👀 #i would have said it was a win if gale wasn't standing right there and saw that and just as i (not my character 🤡) walked over to him to #explain it was a misunderstanding and that i (or we?? idk man dream logic 😹) actually love HIM #he started running away from me 😭😭😭 because he was so upset (this was SO out of character for him i'm bfmffj) #and binch was running fast as hell too i barely maanged to catch up and start explaining WHEN #the dream rewinded (which was essentially a save reload before the scene im 😭💀) #and the kiss scene played out again but this time it was as if we were just friends with gale and he just stand there like 👁👄👁 #i still can't understand if it was shadowheart or like someone not even from bg3 😭 #ANYWAYS good morning eveyone 💀👋 #tbd