#I don’t even believe me tbh

[gemstarstarlight]

I think that I think a little too much about how uncomfortable I would be in a relationship and yet how much I would be letting people down if I told them I was ace and almost certainly permanently uninterested.

#like people don’t believe me when I say I’m pretty sure I’m not really interested in dating #like ever #I don’t even believe me tbh #it’s just so normal and expected in my world #like of course you’re gonna get married someday I just know it #like am I desperate for companionship and everybody knows it but me??? #but at the same time I like the idea of not being alone always #but not in a sexy way #or in a constant live life and fight about toilet seats way #i don’t know #and the worst part is that most people don’t even say anything like that to me anymore but I hear it anyway #thanks! it’s the trauma #asexual #am i asexual?

[myokk]

“She’s tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me”😤😤😤

(Regency AU with Eloise and Sebastian inspired by my slow trek through Bridgerton these days & @bassicallymaestra ‘s AMAZING regency inspired art😮‍💨😇🙏)

#I just have a love of big regency dresses what can I say😔🙏 #if you haven’t seen them yet this is a study of the GORGEOUS P&P illustrations from the 1890s by Charles Brock #they are all just so spectacular & I stare at them alllllllllll the time wishing I had an ounce of his talent🙏🙏🙏 #so I do these studies to pretend even though I change some things😅😅 bc these studies is the best way to improve imo🙏 #but I remembered halfway through why I rage quit trying to draw with my fountain pen a year ago😂😂😂 #that thing is amazing for writing and I love it like a child #but drawing?! tbh I should have used my drawing ink pen but whatever #I woke up with a hankering to do some crosshatching (which I hate) in an attempt to get over myself #also!!!!!! when Mr Darcy says something like that it’s no wonder Elizabeth jumps at the bit to believe every awful thing she hears about him #it’s like Mr wickham’s dumb stories that nobody else in their right mind would believe #are speaking right to her soul. like OF COURSE that asshole from the assembly would do all of those things😤😤 #he called me ugly so OF COURSE he would deny mr wickham his living😤😤 #(I don’t blame her I would do the same🤝🤝) #ALSO why tf did he even say that when he’s clearly smitten from the beginning #I’m sure if he knew that she heard him he would simply perish from mortification #well thst is my p&p - inking horror - inspiration rant of the day🙏🙏 #(I read p&p at least once a year & it is the only fanfic I really read😅😅😅) #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanart #hphl #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy mc #hogwarts legacy oc #eloise

[rinchdressing]

klapollo week day 7: aa4 sequel

#klapolloweek2023 #klapollo #apollo justice #klavier gavin #ace attorney #apollo justice ace attorney #i don’t have a very fleshed out vision for a sequel tbh #well okay i do actually but that’s a different idea than what’s going on in this drawing #but basically i believe with my whole heart klavier quits prosecuting after aa4 because. obviously. #and then idk SOMETHING happens and apollo is arrested or something and klavier shows up at the waa and he’s like heyyyy i need to be a #defense attorney for the next week for apollo please hire me #and tbh i don’t know what apollo was even arrested for but okay hear me out. he is absolutely guilty. i think maybe he beat the shit out of #someone. like i just really think he did it. because i like seeing him commit crimes #maybe it’s related to my day 2 drawing where he had a gun that’d be fun. #anyways yeah i don’t know how the trial goes either btw that’s none of my business tbh

[knife-em0ji]

Sorry for this long post but can people stop treating Vader and Anakin as completely separate people. Like. That type of dissociation were obviously coping mechanisms by Old Ben and Vader. Not like. A literal fragmentation of personalities. Like if you love Anakin Skywalker imo you have to accept that he was a cute kid and a padme simp and a fun older brother and a boy desperately in need of acknowledgement and praise and a father who ultimately loved his son but also a guy who commits atrocities in his anger and strangles people who annoy him and has a victim/persecution complex (although admittedly for good reason) and was also a notorious child killer. This man contains multitudes.

Imo falling to the dark side/using the light side of the force isn’t marked by a shift or fragmentation of personality, but rather what emotions are used to channel the force and guide one’s actions. I think part of what’s so hard about resisting the dark side and coming back to the light is that there’s positive feedback loops of power, and resisting that by doing good and healthily channeling emotions is just plain hard. Especially in the case of Anakin, who is notoriously a “in for a penny, in for a pound” type of guy. He’s loyal and loves completely and dangerously with his whole heart, and he hates just as much.

And I think guilt is a huge factor with him struggling to do good; it’s pretty much a thought process of “Well, I’ve already committed thousands of atrocities and have countless amounts of blood on my hands, I have to believe whole hog in what I’ve been doing because then otherwise what was it all for.” I think that’s what makes his sacrifice for Luke so poignant, because it speaks to how much he loves his son that he’s able to overcome that spiral and do one last act of love for his son, unselfishly and without rationalization.

Idk, I just watched ESB again, and I think beyond just wanting to possess Luke and use him for power, it’s reasonable to think that part of the reason Vader wants him so badly to turn to the dark side with him is that he still thinks the dark side is the only way he can have enough power to protect his family and therefore keep them—he’s objectively much more powerful than he was in the prequels, and a main part of his struggles during the fall of the Republic was that he didn’t feel “strong enough” to protect the people he loved as a Jedi. He wasn’t able to free the slaves. He wasn’t able to save his mother. He wasn’t able to stop Ashoka’s expulsion from the order. He wasn’t able to prevent Padmé from dying. With the commitment he’s had to his path and the objective amount of power he’s amassed since the twins’ births, I think it’s reasonable to assume he desperately grasping at the idea that somehow, this time, he’ll be able to achieve what he’s never been able to do before. But his failure always lies in the fact that his motivations are, and always have been, ultimately self-serving, that his pride and fear of loss—which are completely understandable in moderation and not something he should necessarily be punished for—outweigh his real and genuine care for his loved ones and the galaxy at large.

Idk. All this to say that Anakin has always been Vader and Vader has always been Anakin. They’re the same fucking person, you fools! Stop taking dissociative rationalization literally!!! It’s right there in the text!!!! His return to the light does not negate his time in the dark and vice versa! There is good in him !! He is capable of unspeakable evil !!! BOTH ARE TRUE AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!

#darth vader #anakin skywalker #Star Wars #look. I have a PhD in Darth Vader. he is my babygirl. my sweet cheese. my silly rabbit. #my meow meow has committed atrocities by the likes you’ve never even believed #Vader studies #tbh don’t even get me started about how I think imposing a strict binary on a cosmic energy field and channelling exclusively one side of it #is reductive to the theme of ‘balance’ like. how can you be balanced if you only use one side and whole heartedly reject the other huh. huh

[ct-multifandom]

I don’t usually make posts like this, but I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-intellectual junk lately, and I really think we need to put the word “pretentious” up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means.

It doesn’t describe someone who likes artsy-fartsy deep meaning media. People who are pretentious are fake. They’re posers trying to be sophisticated and unique, not like other girls. They pretend to only like stuff they think will make them sound cool when they talk about it. They want to act like they know something you don’t, and they want attention for it.

By definition, if you genuinely enjoy something, you can’t be pretentious. If it resonates with you, and you analyze it, and you don’t care what people think, that’s the polar opposite, actually. If you love obscure experimental prog music, if you watch underground high concept indie films through English teacher eyes, if you spend hours in a modern art museum reading each piece as a vessel for storytelling, if your backpack’s full of poetry books that inspire you, if you play underrated games that were someone’s passion project, if you have an interest in studying the classics or the masters, you are not pretentious.

Of course, some people just don’t like some stuff, and that’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Don’t let anti-intellectuals shame you for enjoying things just because your interests are inaccessible to them, because they refuse to be brave and put effort into critical thinking. You’re not stuck up for refusing to overlook the craft of artists.

#anti intellectualism #media #movies #books #music #critical thinking #my friend who primarily listens to one very popular band once said that people who listen to obscure music are annoying and pretentious #which rubbed me the wrong way because 1 she knows that I listen to obscure music and 2 it’s such a cowardly consumerist take. anyone can #make music and hey a lot of the people who do make GOOD music. and this goes for all *obscure* media #this post was mostly inspired by people talking about Barbie and those anti pick me girls like the pick nobody girls who insist thinking is #for boys and having fun with an empty brain is for girls. Greta gerwig is an artist. I haven’t seen the movie yet but I know it has a deeper #message than haha cute pink! I’ve seen the summaries about the true meaning. the pinkness and popularity doesn’t negate the narritive. #though in the notes I saw a lot of tumblristas comunistas shitting on the film for being one big ad that people *fell for* which tbh is #tbh almost as anti-intellectual. don’t get me wrong they milked this film to sell hella shit but I don’t believe kids who play with dolls #are the target audience as these people claim. Barbie is a culturally iconic symbol almost archetypical of societal expectations for women #you say barbie people think unblinking perfect plastic pink girly. reminds me of the poem The Last Mojave Indian Barbie. yeah yeah you all #hate brands but this one carries undeniable significance and makes for a powerful literary device. it’s been used many times before #sorry for writing a tag essay about a film I haven’t even seen but I’m tired of internet people focusing so much on proving others wrong #that they end up oversimplifying everything just as much as the other person. god I saw people doing this to Nimona saying transphobes were #looking too deep into her character and they’re reactionary clowns for making that jump. like for once the transphobes are right. she is #trans. it’s a queer story. and irl the first people who notice queerness are the bigots who can tell you’re different. sick owns telling #them the story’s not that deep is harmful and it’s like they’re ignoring the real message on purpose. okay enough rambling hehe! thanks #barbie #nimona

[lesbiansanemi]

Sometimes I just think about Soi Fon. Like that shit was so insane. Easily one of The characters of all time. You’re going to give me a woman who hates the physical manifestation of her soul because it’s loud and explosive and she doesn’t think it’s “proper” that it suits her, but it’s so obvious it does because she’s angry and stubborn and loud and explosive!!! And then the fact that she never ever calls upon that physical manifestation of her soul until things are so dire it’s practically that or death? The fact that in so many ways she lets her emotions build and build and build until they quite literally explode???? And then!!! AND THEN!!!! Add in that she hates her bankai because it’s “inappropriate” for an assassin… for her role as captain of the Stealth Force… the position she inherited from Yoruichi after she abandoned Soul Society for Urahara… She despises the physical manifestation of her explosive nature, the nature she hides until she can’t, just like she shoved down her feelings for Yoruichi, the betrayal, the hurt, the love, until she quite literally couldn’t anymore and it all came back up in a BANG!!! Like god… oh my god, no one will ever do it again and kubo did not deserve such a cool fucking character in the least

#bleach #soi fon #yorusoi #<— because like this definitely feeds into it #like I refuse to believe soi fon didn’t have some form of romantic feelings for yoruichi like it’s so OBVIOUS #also like add in the lesbian angle to this??? #oh… MY GOD it just makes it so much more intense #hiding from your feelings and swearing up and down they shouldn’t suit you that they’re not right for you #even though they obviously are #I can’t fuckin do it man #it’s been YEARS but the soi fon brain rot is still just SO strong #I really did fuckin imprint on her #but tbh in general I hate to give him any credit but kubo did kinda go off with characters who hated/hid their bankai #like the whole thing of hating your soul hating your very being #unparalleled. wish he actually did anything cool with those particular character arcs #like the soi fon ikkaku and yumichika character arcs could have been PEAK #(also don’t even get me started on the three of them being some of the uh… um… well ya know a teeny bit queer) #it could have been so good #but again kubo can’t write and hates gay ppl so lmao #wild that he genuinely created some of the coolest queer characters ever kinda on accident #like whoopsie #anyways I’ll shut up now #kaz rambles

[itspileofgoodthings]

have had a bit of my crash after flying too close to the sun this past week and you know what, it’s very annoying and also very good for me in a stabilizing way.

[alienpussycat]

Need them in a room together in which they are no others…👀These voidstrike drawing might stall a bit because guess who decided to take a 5 week trigonometry summer course with the worst teacher possible so she could graduate early 🤩

#this is my 5th attempt at drawing voidstrike since my last drawing #can you believe I spent 5 days on a background just for me to realize I hate it and scrape the whole thing #tbh I don’t even know what the hell going on in this pic it’s up for interpretation 🤷🏾‍♀️ #this isn’t what I imagined Wraith to dress like but I wanted you to see her muscles #also guess who has an exam on Tuesday but spend her off days finishing this #pray for me #I don’t plan on digital drawing forever so if one day they just stop out of nowhere umm sorry #also I learned that I am more of portrait artist so this is probably the last time I’ll draw something like this sorry #anita williams #wraith x bangalore #apex legends #apex bangalore #renee blasey #apex wraith #bangawraith #wraith apex legends #apex fanart #apex legends fanart #voidstrike #bangalore x wraith #apex legends art #apex #bangalore apex legends #wraith #bangalore #okay gotta study #I’ll add more tags later

[allpromarlo]

how long does gege plan to continue this actually

#it’s getting repetitive dude #like yeah okay. sukuna is the strongest smartest most amazing pookie wookie schnookums and you draw him with one hand every week. we get it #atp it goes beyond my favs js dying or something but this is genuinely just bad writing lmao #every 5 chaps its like ‘oh sukuna is in trouble! blah blah nevermind he wins again!’ #and gege is continuing this for so long i’m boutta start being inclined to believe the series just ends in sukuna winning #which would be the worst possible ending bc like #wtf did we do this entire last arc for #and instead of giving us some more lore (even abt the favorite child plotkuna) gege just repeats the same process he’s had since gojos death #WHICH WAS IN SEPTEMBER. WE CURRENTLY HAVE MARCH #idk man maybe this is just me being a complaining little loser but i don’t care tbh #gege isn’t doing himself or us a favor with this lmao #but aaaanyways #jjk #jjk 253 #jjk manga spoilers #n e ways until that monocle cat comes up with something new i’ll focus my attention on the sand movie i watched yesterday (and on saturday!) #shit truly was generational denis villeneuve i have never doubted you ever #dune 2 was *chefs kiss*

[seiwas]

📑 what fic/s of yours is/are your personal favourite/s and why?

feel free to reblog / comment / say it in the tags and even share links if you want! 🤭

#i want to hear what people have to say !! #also wanna see more writer friends compliment their own writing :’))))) #it’s even more interesting when it’s an ‘underrated’ fic!!! or smth completely self-indulgent!!! #i know it’s hard to choose #tbh im having a hard time too #but i guess atm my favourite is ‘do you believe in love?’ #just bc im writing for col right now #and whenever i reread it i don’t spot like a bajillion things i want to change HAHAH #and also partly because it reminds me where col gojo started and i get a lil sentimental bc of that ! #reblog game

[autumnhobbit]

I’m gonna be real with you guys, I kind of dread the idea of trying to raise any future kids in this church

#and it’s not because i don’t believe the faith. obvs i do #but like in practice i’m either going to be going by myself or with my mom & siblings or whoever #i don’t have any friends my age so idk how i’m gonna find good friends for future kids #and obvs i want them to have good friends #i do believe in the virtues of friendship and believe it’s an important thing for people to experience and work at #but also i’ve had a lot of heartbreak in friendship and have a complicated relationship with it #and when i think back on my own childhood in churches it was always so turbulent #both because my family didn’t gel with the cultures/ideals of so many parishes #and because my dad made enemies everywhere we went (for obvious reasons but still) #that wasn’t us kids’ fault #but it didn’t matter #i thought i had adults to look up to in faith #but i have literally none i have a close relationship with #and even the ones i respect that doesn’t mean they’re good around kids #or would like hanging out with me #and i don’t want just any random person thinking because they’ve talked to me a couple times #that they get say in the close intimate decisions or issues i have with my spouse or children #the whole thing is strange tbh #like i don’t even want to have a close relationship with some priests even if i respect them or like them #and too many priests think that just cause they see you once a week they know you and should have a say in things they know nothing about #idk man catholicism in america and maybe the world is just. so hard nowadays.

[gummy-sharks666]

ALRIGHT I DID IT

#bakugan #bakugan battle brawlers #gundalian invaders #jesse glenn #bakugan gundalian invaders #ff6 #final fantasy 6 #ffvi #final fantasy #setzer gabbiani #my 2 main comfort characters lol #i literally just circled back around to having Jesse as my comfort character so I just did the 2 most recent #i think we’re gonna have to kill this guy #drawing meme #comfort characters #yes I do fully believe that Jesse would be taller than Setzer even tho we don’t have a canonical height for him #Setzer is a manlet #just like me fr tbh #he’s also trans and bisexual #my faves tee hee

[arolesbianism]

Sier? I haven’t even met her! Laugh.

#keese draws #oc art #oc #ocs #eternal gales #today has been a shit day but Im feeling a bit better now that I’ve drawn sier #long story short one of my friends is being harassed by their ex #so I’ve been in a blinding rage all day and combined with me not getting enough sleep and cleaning all day today quite sucked #but hey. I drew sier and made them a new mini ref so that’s gotta count for something #but yeah sier my beloved I’ve been thinking abt them all day they’re just so cute and I love drawing them #I forgive them for being a human character they’re silly and have shapes #I now have only 4 eg refs to go I think? which is honestly a lot closer than I thought I was I thought this was gonna be another year of #last minute refs for artfight and some that don’t get remade but honestly this is super doable #rly the only big problem is going to be fydd since it’s been so long since I’ve drawn him properly #the other three are just dodie tali and bloom which shouldn’t be too bad at all #now idk if the icons are happening but it’s definitely feeling a lot more doable now so idk maybe I’ll get to some of them #key word maybe I make no promises #thankfully I don’t rly have any other ocs that I feel pressed to make new refs for so I can take it easy leading up to artfight this year #I’d like to get some of them icons but that’s not necessary #hopefully sier will get drawn this year she hasn’t been attacked since her old design from years ago lol #but sier is also a character I’ve gotten other pieces of art of over the years so I won’t be heartbroken if they keep getting ignored lol #I don’t rly know who I’d like to see attacked most tbh #obviously I’m always happy to see art of any of my ocs but usually I do have a preference #so Im excited to see who gets attacked even if it’s only a few of them #I’m willing to bet teke will get at least one attack I believe in him #hopefully teka gets drawn too I love her dearly as well #anyways shower time and then sleep time gn gamers

[pluviophile-imagines]

For my American followers: firstly, vote!!!! It’s so so important!!!

Secondly, because ur gonna vote I know u are, do yourself a favor and familiarize yourself with your specific ballot by utilizing vote411.org, a resource by the League of Women Voters that lets you put in your address and provides info for everything on your ballot! This is especially useful for smaller races, like your board of education, and for any of the legislation you might be asked to vote on (bc that legal jargon will get u & like half of them will make u go wait why do I even care abt this???)

#pattering on the roof #even the local races r important! #even more important tbh #like the board of education races don’t show political affiliations there’s nothing to indicate what a person believes on the ballot #but for me the first guy was a crazy antivaxxer #who unironically said that bc there were no Covid deaths in our school system the response was ‘overkill’ #so do your research!!!! #I wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t used vote411

[padfootastic]

H E L L O jfp-eyes pen (thats your new name btw)

i know its a little late but my mind keep going back to it and i also talked about a similar issue w several other people on here since and i was wondering if you can/want elaborate on what you said about this:

"like, u want potters to be desi? it’s not just the cute clothes and good food and linguistic differences u need to keep in mind. there’s so much more where it comes from, including several practices that will be considered highly objectionable by this rigidly judgemental crowd."

((i am v v interested but no pressure to answer this, i totally get if you dont want to get into this discourse))

dani—you’re gonna pull me into the desi potters discourse one way or the other, eh?

so. i’m not sure how much sense this’ll make because it’s like…half-baked thoughts but my problem with this scenario actually stems from a more macro, general trend i’m noticing in fandom behaviour. for some reason, puritan culture & veiled conservatism is coming back in the guise of progressiveness? and that’s leading to a lack of critical thinking in these spaces & randomly attributing buzzwords to things out of context bc u don’t have more than a shallow understanding of it.

which means that that comment was directed at a very specific subset of fandom that decided that idk ignoring the Bad Things & Flaws would somehow make them cease to exist. let’s only take the most ‘exotic’, fun aspects even if it’s a completely one dimensional reading & run with it. they wouldn’t be able to tell u what desi is beyond the barebones.

so, you’ll have people vehemently arguing that the potters can’t be anything but desi and white james is gross and i’m just like—why. why are u, as a non-desi person, so attached to this headcanon that you’ll ridicule real people for it? and then their attitudes as well. the incest thing, for example. there are communities in india that marry their first cousins—if i write a story tomorrow where james marries his mother’s imaginary brother’s daughter, then depending on how i HC him, that’s perfectly culturally acceptable (and desirable). if i write a story where euphemia and fleamont use corporal punishment for him, and he takes it super lightly and jokes about it, that’s also fine. (which is a direct contrast to how the western black family & sirius’ abuse is treated). there’ a community in india where the man ‘drinks’ from his mother’s breast, publicly, at his wedding to symbolise the last time he’d be her son before he becomes someone’s husband. another where a new mother can’t feed her son until her sister-in-law washes her breast thoroughly. caste is something that’s not even touched upon. it’s so complicated. but how do u think it’ll be received by most of the desi potter crowd if i actually do write any of this? will i be praised for my ~representation or called out on twitter for being a freak?

and that’s really where i get annoyed. the attitudes most of this crowd hold does not have any space for cultural subjectivity, what is ok to them has to be universally ethical. there’s no way other cultures do things their way and if they do, it’s barbaric/backward/problematic etc etc. pseudo-colonial, like i said.

(disclaimer: i want it to be made very clear i’m not demanding people nclude this stuff in their fics. i’m well aware of how escapism works, being the premier advocate for it. im just saying it won’t hurt to be mindful of these facts, that this is a whole culture that’s ridiculously diverse that doesn’t just exist for the sake of people’s headcanons)

and this isn’t even going into the cultural nuances of how desi families work. you can’t bring in american/european individualism & have james move out at 18 & write everything transactionally & do everything the way u would for a white character but only pay lip service when saying they’re brown ykno? when u say they’re a certain identity, there’s so much that comes with that. and if u don’t include any of that, then it really just makes me wonder why u want a brown james—feels like ego appeasement and falling to peer pressure half the time tbh.

another important thing for me is that so much of this crowd intersects with the ‘fandom is activism’ crowd and i just. fundamentally disagree with those people. and find their words/actions incredibly performative. by which i mean, the way they treat real people—people from the communities they’re adopting as HCs for their beloved characters. there’s this…hypocrisy, yeah? what i mentioned above, about how if i wrote some culturally different practice, i’d probably be attacked. they don’t want desi potter, they want white-lite potters that is palatable to & tailored for their own constitution but in a form that they can pass of as ‘oh look, my characters r diverse which makes me Morally Good and i can use that to shit on others’.

i think my problem is just that i don’t like it when people use the identity headcanons to portray themselves as being inherently better because they have ~equal representation. fandom is not a government institution—lateral visibility & membership is not a prerequisite to wanting to write about x and y fucking or going on a date or hugging or having a conversation. making a marauder group where each character—functionally an OC—is from a different community (often w/o considering how intersectionality works) for the sake of saying ‘oh i have a x in my HCs’ does not make u some radical leftist, yeah? and i strongly dislike people who pretend it does.

#also jfp-eyes pen skshdjhskcwdj #see i’m more open ab this now bc i’ve outed myself lol #earlier i was worried i’d fell on myself in the process of expressing my opinions so i just stayed quiet #this doesn’t apply to everyone obv #some people don’t want it to be that deep #(but then my question is why even incorporate it if u don’t lol) #this isn’t a black or white/yes or no thing #there’s no wrong or right way for things here #it’s just personal discomfort i was expressing tbh #this wasn’t easy for me to articulate #bc i’m not exactly sure what it is about this whole thing that bothers me sm #i think it’s also just—american audiences in general that irl me #irk* #esp w all this shipping/fictional likes discourse that keeps going on #bc they’re really very self centred imo #and it’s weird watching this for the outside #lol dani u really got me ranting here #but it’s an issue that bothers me sm #esp that puritan young adult/teen crowd #who somehow believe they know best #and intersectionality—identities are such rigid boxes for them #the fluidity & agency & human element of it is completely erased #bc *what* they are becomes more imp than what they can do for the plot #and then u start putting fictional characters on a pedestal and fight w real people #like i just wanna say—my litmus test for anyone advocating for desi potters would be this #if i wrote a story where fleamont hits him with his footwear and james jokes about it before going on to marry his first cousin #then will u accept it? #bc if u say u do then good. if u don’t tho—take a long hard inside urself re why u fight so hard for desi potters then #pen’s asks #pen’s notes

[simplyghosting]

I'm sorry you had to deal with people invalidating your pain when you were a kid

Thank you for the sympathy. I appreciate it.

While I won’t say it’s okay that people did that when I was a kid, and it did leave some lasting damage (both physically and relationship-wise that years later I am still trying to repair), I also don’t regret it happening.

Like yeah, it really sucked, but it also made me stop listening to the “kids over-exaggerate” “you’re too young to be in pain (dismissive)” “kids/teens are just dramatic” “kids just complain because they want attention/bored” rhetorics that I heard all the time. If I hadn’t experienced that dismissal myself, I could have grown up to be unsympathetic towards people as well.

It was a personal experience in learning kids deserve to be listened to and acknowledged, and that youth doesn’t guarantee health, that I don’t think I would have truly learned otherwise.

#ghost answers #you-try-to-be #my family scores…low on emotional intelligence #years of generational abuse/health issues in some form or another that became normal #only in recent years that started to improve #i get angry about it sometimes but I also have to remind myself no one did anything maliciously #you just do your best and try to heal #and learn from the past so you don’t repeat it #tbh people still don’t believe me when I say I’m in pain lol #one time I said my side hurt and someone rolled their eyes at me #then I lifted my shirt to show my skin was raw on that side #then they believed me #don’t know why no one believed me tbh #I hated lying as a kid so I never did it #but apparently bc I cry a lot that means I ‘over-exaggerate’ #I cry w a straight face and silently not even animatedly #it’s wack man