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turtleblogatlast · 1 month

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Thinking about how Leo says he uses his jokes to cope and y’know, thinking harder on it I think it may very well be because of what else uses one-liners and puns and that type of humor.

Specifically, 80’s action movies and campy sci-fi. Even more specifically, the protagonists of these.

So I can imagine why, exactly, Leo leans toward this brand of humor. It’s directly linked to things he loves! But even more than that is why I think it’s used as a coping mechanism.

In these genres, these quips tend to be said by the winner - or, if not a winner, then someone who will stay alive. So there’s a confidence behind them, an assurance, almost, that even if things go wrong, things aren’t ever too serious. There’s no bad endings here! It’s all good fun, even if the stakes seem high.

Leo canonically has been known to steer his brothers away from the more brutal villains and toward more fun, lighthearted activities and not-so-dangerous criminals. So for Leo, these jokes definitely make things less heavy, make the situations they find themselves in less intense.

It’s kinda not just coping, but also can be seen as a form of escapism. A safety blanket. A way for Leo to defuse the tension of knowing just how dangerous their lives are and replace that with a levity which implies that things will be okay.

Unfortunately, levity alone does not alter reality.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rottmnt headcanons #how pretentious can I sound when talking about a fictional turtle more at eight #anyway I always loved to think about Leo’s quick line about coping with humor #I don’t care how much people think it doesn’t REALLY matter it’s fun to play around with tbh #also love the idea that Leo’s sense of humor comes from the protags of his fav campy series #(+ from his confident and awesome big sis April)#like idk Leo’s special interests directly paving out how he presents himself both to others and in general is so interesting to me!!!#he is someone who KNOWS people and their quirks so 100% he caught on to that 80’s style of quippy one-liners-#-and associated that with safety and levity #even the villains of these genres who spout off quips tend to be the ones who survive!#Leo desperately fighting to keep the same lighthearted genre as 87 TMNT as the horrors of 2003 and 2012 loom on the horizon #and I think something important to note is that Leo KNOWS things are real #he is WELL AWARE of how dangerous things can get for them #but he copes anyway because it’s easier to deal with everything that way #bro just wants he and his family to be safe tbh

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 months

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hate that I have to clarify whenever I think of two characters as having a powerful and purely platonic bond as "just friends". like I have to say that but they are not "just" anything.

did you hear me. I said they are friends. not brothers or siblings or maternal or paternal or any other familially-defined relationship. they are friends!!! do you know how powerful that is??? they! are! friends!!! they are FRIENDS

#storyrambles #random #how i feel about leorio and kurapika towards gon tbh #also odasaku and dazai... i'm more apt to accept the idea of romantic feelings than i am 'brothers' or 'fatherly' - it's just not them #but usually i prefer it platonic #even kyouka and atsushi are like this to me #i don't really see them as big brother younger sister tbh #they're friends :)#also killua and gon definitely have quite a bit of romantic hinting going on there (i personally am willing to bat for it being intentional #but at this stage their friendship is the most important thing!!! and i honestly believe it will remain the most important thing!#do you think any kind of lasting romance isn't founded on strong friendship??????

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linden-after-hours · 5 days

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As much as most of us (I assume) found Joker Out through Eurovision last year and maybe are big fans of the contest (me included), please consider boycotting Eurovision this year!

Palestinians and allies have called for the disqualification of Israel but the EBU has refused. Now Israel is participating with a song that used to be called "October Rain" (the title has been changed) that is very clearly referencing October 7th.

Russia was (rightfully) disqualified for opening fire on Ukraine. Israel is allowed to continue, despite the year-long occupation and murdering thousands of Palestinians in the last half year alone.

Boycotting means not watching, not streaming the shows, not creating or interacting with any Eurovision content. You will miss out on a glittery night of music and it will suck, but it will help path the way to a free Palestine! 🍉

Read the BDS Movements statement from March 2nd 2024 here.

#Bojan being this involved kinda put a lil damper on the band for me #but he's such a teeny-tiny part in the entirety that is Eurovision #plus their fame is still kinda running off the event #so this is in no way me saying we should boycot JO #also iirc Kris shared a pro-palestine post in his story a while back (but i could've imagined that)#and i read/saw that Jan and Kris signed a petition to disqualify Israel #and also their lil no-war speech before Novi Val #afaik they haven't publicly stated any opinion #this whole Eurovision thing hurts tbh #I've been watching it religiously since I was eight #and i am going to miss it *so bad* this year you don't even know #but the safety of Palestinians is more important that a night in front of the TV #and the artwashing of the EBU fucks me up #i hope they learn their lesson #kick Israel out #apologise and show they've learned #so we can all have a great time again next year #with a free Palestine #linden talks #joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #eurovision #free palestine

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 7 months

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WHAT HAPPENED?!?!!??!!??!!!!?!!

sometimes arrows find their mark! oopsie!

#hes fine i prommy #the arrow didnt hit anything important and even if it did poppy's got em #and so does barnaby <3 #tbh im having a fun time envisioning them having to pull the arrow out first lol #good thing barnaby's a strong fella!#its kinda comedic in my head...#cause barnaby is freaking out and poppy is freaking out and howdy is trying to keep a level head #and wallys just standing to the side like 👁️👁️#and then barnaby cuts himself on the arrowhead and poppy is all 'DISEASES!!!' and freaks out More-#*wally voice* no home you can't eat his soul #*howdy/barnaby/poppy voices* WHAT?!#and everyone else returns to find howdy: passed out. poppy: squawking her head off.#barnaby: holding a gorey arrow & splattered with a comically unrealistic amount of blood #wally: attempting to help by draping wormie over howdy's face #*frank voice* what the FUCK is going on - we left for Ten minutes!!!#anyway-#rambles from the bog #wh fantasy au #puppets get Hurt in this au sorry. but also im not sorry cause its fun!

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k1ranishf4 · 3 months

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Saw a comment that said “I wanted Charlie to save Angel from Valentino there”, which is not a bad thing to want at all. We all want to see Angel safe and happy without having to worry about Valentino.

But when I watched episode four and saw Charlie enter the studio, my first reaction was “Charlie nooooo!! Please don’t do anything. Please don’t do anything!!!”

I didn’t want her to save him from Valentino (I still don’t, I’d hate it if Angel was portrayed as a damsel in distress rather than being able to overcome his fear and saving himself from his abuser on his own terms with the support of his friends), my concern was “what will happen to Angel Dust if something goes wrong???”

And something went wrong, and Angel was hurt even though he wasn’t at fault to begin with.

#I feel like that episode shows that your actions could cause more harm than good for your friend who’s in an abusive relationship #and that you should listen to them even though you really want to help them #really important to me tbh #no criticism just my thoughts #hazbin hotel #angel dust #valentino #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel episode 4 #hazbin hotel masquerade

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ride-a-dromedary · 6 months

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Thinking about Thaniel and Halsin reuniting again when he wakes.

Thinking about how Halsin describes Thaniel as having been ripped away from him (just as he was from Oliver). How he was the only one able to see and interact with him; how Halsin is very insistent that Thaniel made him who he became. How Halsin's "very first friend" being an encapsulation of nature itself affected the entire trajectory of his life. How that implies, to me, that Halsin and Thaniel were connected on a level far stronger and more significant than just being unlikely playmates as children - even moreso than just Halsin deciding to become his protector as he aged, or the implication of the relationship becoming more along the lines of a parent and child - to the point of being so interconnected and intertwined, Thaniel evidently uprooted and followed Halsin from the High Forest to its own unpredicted detriment.

Thaniel's being cursed and trapped quite literally *did* rip the two of them away from one another, just as tearing Thaniel's being in two twisted and created Oliver. Halsin feels a hole in his absence - a loneliness and disconnect that eats away at him. He describes losing contact with Thaniel all that time ago as being "worst of all", which is saying a lot considering what else was happening to and around Halsin at the time. And all Thaniel talked about whilst trapped was Halsin, insisting to find him because he was the only one who an entire force of nature itself believed could help it.

Losing Thaniel sent Halsin into a century long spiral; Halsin who blames himself for "dawdling" in his own pain as it suffered. Who could almost place himself in the catalyst of Ketheric Thorm's tragedy of losing his daughter pushing him to the edge. It's the elevated metaphorical adult fear of losing a child and the indescribable sorrow involved in that, mixed with the loss of an important childhood and formative influence, mixed with losing a friend, a piece of oneself, all in one.

I just imagine Halsin twitching in his skin to head immediately back to camp after convincing Oliver to return. Distractedly following behind, but evidently elsewhere, until he is dismissed or the group returns. And he is first to arrive and first to break off to his tent, pulling aside the cloth, lacking any considerable delicacy of action, to see Thaniel sitting up, blinking slowly at his surroundings. Alive; the smell of lavender heavy and sweet. Not dead and rotting, not twisted and empty. Small. Frail. Not quite whole. But alive.

And Halsin...hesitates on the threshold, hands shaking, everything having come to its head at last and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He holds his breath, fearful of any disturbance spooking the life away that they'd worked so hard to revive, until Thaniel turns its eye slowly towards him. Two deer caught in a crosspath of light. A century past and there are hundreds of things to do, hundreds of things he had planned to say to him if they succeeded, but all Halsin can manage is a strained: "It's me."

And he does not need to say who he is; Thaniel knows. All those rehearsed things fizzle away in its face. Halsin is older now, he reasons, much older; perhaps Thaniel will not recognize the century carved upon his brow just as Oliver had not. In a moment of desperation, he needs it to know him. Needs Thaniel to remember - but, fool that he is to underestimate the power of life before him, of course he remembers. Of course Thaniel would recognize him, just as he had recognized him after the long winter had passed - when he had changed so much, and was no longer a little elfling and never would be again. Just as Thaniel had recognized him every springtime after, the thawing of ice bringing another year with it, even as its face did not change at all. It must; his eyes betrayed the centuries beneath his boots, even as the child rubbed fitfully at them.

"It's me," Halsin murmurs again, falling to his knees - as if he could make himself impossibly smaller - bring him back to the beginning, turn back the years before it all went wrong. And Thaniel just nods its head and touches little hands to his face, and when he echos his name, it feels like that first thaw of spring again.

"I heard you calling," it whispers, gentle like summer breezes. "You cried for me to stop hiding. You were frightened and did not wish to play anymore. But when I came out, it had gotten dark. I could not find you."

"I know."

"I called back," he continues, even and intoned, but his lip wobbles. "You could not hear me.

"I know," Halsin repeats, brokenly.

Thaniel blinks a few more times, seemingly working out how to reteach a face long asleep, though there were no muscles to move. A false start later, a twitch of the nose, and he is...smiling. "But I kept trying - I knew you would find me."

A single stick too heavy and the dam breaks. Eyes filled with tears, he hugs Thaniel to him like he hadn't since they were children chasing each other through the underbrush with glitters of gold tangled in his hair. Since Thaniel had guided his hand to make the flowers in his father's garden grow. Since all they'd had was each other under the endless canopy of trees.

"Forgive me," Halsin whispers, a century of pain and loss and loneliness exiting from him in a single rush, the cold empty spaces inside him filling up with warmth. And at last he wakes, dragged violently into the open air after drowning for too long, blinded but alive and whole once again. Interconnected; not alone anymore. The earth sings beneath him and Oliver's spirit hovers just beyond the outskirts of his vision. Halsin chokes on his laugh. "I was never very good at this game."

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #Halsin #anyway...yeah - again half purple prose half nonsense #halsin's most valuable relationship in his life is pseudo-spiritually platonic and that means a *lot*#of course he wants to go back to his realm in the end - of course he wants to see him happy and thriving #because i feel like platonic relationships are just so wholly undervalued as being important and healing to people #i am also thinking about halsin telling oliver that he need not invent friends - halsin was likely told as a child #that thaniel was made up i feel it - treated perhaps at best as an entertainment of their son's imagination in his parents' case #because no one else had heard of him or seen him before #even in a land of magic and monsters #halsin providing oliver with the validation he wishes he had as a child #using the 'you needn't invent friends' as a reverse - thaniel is back and real and waiting for your return #see my previous post regarding this for musing about thaniel and oliver being kara-turan-esque nature spirits because tbh #they more align with that - how'd you get here thaniel #using it/he for thaniel feels right in my mind

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crescentfool · 23 days

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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

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mobius-m-mobius · 1 year

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idk I'd still hear the plan out 😔 Lokius Incorrect Quotes [9/∞]

#mobius #loki #lokius #mcuedit #marveledit #lokiedit #tbh mobius wouldn't even be that mad he'd just be like not murder AGAIN that's so old 🙄😂#therefore prompting a debate about all loki's pranks not involving murder because excuse you there's plenty and them comparing their favs #which is obviously more important than anything in the multiverse lol #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #lokius incorrect quotes #owenwilsonedit #marvel #dianagifs

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wildstar25 · 28 days

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What physical part(s) of Arsay does her partners find the most attractive! Is it the same for all partners or does it differ between them?

(also optional bonus ask of what part(s) of/about Arsay generally do they love the most, physical or not!)

Meanwhile, if you were to ask the same of Arsay:

#ffxiv #wolship #g'raha tia #y'shtola rhul #wolgraha #wolshtola #y'shtola x wol #arsay nun #graharshtola #y'shtola calling arsay a pain in her side is very much an affectionate thing btw #and i couldnt pass up the joke of g'raha giving the sweet gentlemanly response only for yshtola to be like 'tits tbh'#her defaulting to an answer that would probably stop the conversation before she has to talk to much about her deeper feelings imo #i have. a lot of feelings about yshtola and arsay's friendship #someone who is constantly trying to build walls between herself and others vs someone who desperately wants to form real connections #its not a 'wearing that person down' type situation either #just one lonely person seeing another lonely person and hoping that they could be less lonely together #or that she could at least bring some cheer to #and idk yshtola strikes me as the type to have been like 'if they want to be my friend they have to work for it'#which arsay certainly did #i could ramble on and on how their friendship lines up so well with yshtolas character development but theres a limit to these tags #so just look at how cute shtola is with the slightest blush on her cheeks #graha is a much more complicated topic since he went from Extreme adoration to I want to be her friend but I dont think im good enough #to 100% Hero worship again to Shes my hero and I love her to Shes a person and I love her #to I love Arsay. Even the parts she can't love in herself. I will love all of her till my dying breath.#he thinks shes the most beautiful person in the world and the most important thing in his life #but he now knows how insane she's been about being everyone's hero and he really doesnt want to feed that beast #so hes trying to build her up in other ways #focusing more on the adventuring side than the saving the world side #and then there is arsay who loves so much about her partners and is in capable of narrowing it down to any one thing so its #'here let me list everything that comes to mind right now' with 0 shame or filter

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musicalcompanions · 7 months

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Gojo really about to go down as one of the most underutilized op characters of all time huh. Truly remarkable

#just my opinion #but like if you set up someone to be the strongest #and then not have them make any sort of huge difference in the most important battler #it feels underutilized tbh #bc even if Gojo does comeback he probably won’t be at full power anymore or he’ll just comeback to die for good #so…#and I have a lot to say about the plot progression rn #but let’s give it a few more chapters bc I don’t wanna be too unfair #jjk 238 #jujutsu sukuna #jjk spoilers #jjk #jjk leaks #Gojo satoru

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a-sketchy · 3 months

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the thing about yosuke’s shittiness around here (up close and personal, the campout) is that the vast majority of it isn’t doing literally anything for his character. i completely think yosuke’s shittiness is important to his character, but it’s by and large reflections of his own insecurities and flaws. he’s insecure about his masculinity and sexuality, he’s lame, he’s selfish, he’s obsessed with the idea of women, his mouth moves faster than his brain, he doesn’t like himself, and he cares way too much about the societal ideal of ‘normal’. but it’s really important that he’s self-aware! he knows when the things he says are shitty, he knows he’s lame, he knows he’s selfish, he knows he’s putting up a front of being carefree and normal. but there’s absolutely no self awareness here, there’s no recognizing he went too far and apologizing the next day, there’s no regret, there’s not even any self-deprecation, and there’s absolutely no compassion or empathy like he has in serious moments. a lot of what he says is just mean for meanness’s sake, in an execution incongruous with previous behaviour. it’s not even funny!

#tbh i think the thing with kanji in the tent was the closest to being interesting #like by the end he’s warning against kanji leaving the tent #so clearly he cares about kanji more than he’s homophobic #he was straight up just saying that stuff to be shitty. knowingly!#that’s interesting! and the whole thing reeks of yosuke’s own insecurity in his masculinity and sexuality #he took it way too far and i deeply wish he’d quit it with the we statements #but if he had even a single line like ‘shit… i shouldn’t have said all that’ or recognized he was in the wrong at all #then i think it genuinely would’ve been an important moment for his character #everything else was just extremely shitty for no reason. the fucking swimsuits was pathetic but the gross guilt tripping was awful #he’s just lacking all of his usual self awareness. he’s lacking all of his good qualities and nuance #like it’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes yosuke’s other moments interesting or funny #this is just him being mean getting punished arbitrarily and not learning anything #on paper i get it. i get how these events could be continuations of established charateristics #but it’s just so mean and shitty that it becomes absurd nonsensical and unenjoyable #the stuff with hanako is just genuinely repugnant on the game’s behalf. it serves no purpose other than cruelty #definitely the worst part of the game so far #rambles #p4g posting #yosukeposting

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essektheylyss · 2 years

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One thing that gets lost in ship discourse (or its hyper-positive opposite) is that regardless of your feelings on a ship, in order to tell a story, the character relationships do and should have an impact on a character's story arc, and not all relationships are going to offer the same emotional weight throughout any given character's story.

This is particularly true of actual play, wherein each player character is running a separate story as a protagonist, and therefore you have to consider each of them as an individual thread within one larger narrative, on top of the narrative itself.

That being said, the farther you get into the story and the closer to the end you are, the ways those threads can interweave get culled, simply by circumstances. Relationships (platonic, romantic, familial, etc) change over time, and whether they are narratively compelling changes as well. In contrast, "ship" is generally used to suggest a dynamic an individual audience member finds compelling, which may or may not have anything to do with the narrative, even if the dynamic is interesting for reasons of narrative potential (that isn't ultimately explored within canon). These are distinct concepts in terms of analysis. So as a disclaimer, this post is about character relationships within the narrative as it exists—essentially, what makes the story that exists work as well as it does, in the end.

Now that we've got all that out of the way, let's talk about Caleb.

Caleb's problem for much of the campaign is one of survival and self-preservation. His goal is simply to last long enough to find a way to go back in time. Because that is a very open goal, it doesn't inherently have much to tie him to another character in a relationship sense. He is not looking for that, he does not see himself as worthy of it, and it's really not a necessary narrative question, regardless of what attraction he does have.

But over time (and, I would argue, in a way that is fairly singular among the Nein, but I won't get into that here), his priorities begin to shift. Many of his needs are now met in ways that they previously weren't, allowing him to fully consider what he wants. For instance, between the start of the war and the time they reach Xhorhas, he has changed his mind about becoming involved in this war—because he is not being forced into it by possible conscription. He has significantly more options than he did at the start.

What he ends up realizing, as he finds the opportunity to put an end to the war, is that he cannot trust his own judgment. There is near universal support to end the war—even the nations involved are there because of what they view as existential threats. That opinion is not in question. But everything else is. Caleb is a victim of manipulation and brainwashing, and this is very apparent when he starts pleading with the scourger prisoner of war to give him some kind of proof that people like him can change.

And this is not something that anyone else of the Nein can offer him. They can tell him that they think he is a good person and that they trust him, but because of his history—and because he knows how smart he is, and how far he can fall—this isn't something he can take at face value, especially given that they have not seen or known him at his worst, and have not experienced it either.

Yasha may be able to offer some guidance in that area, but she is working through similar issues at both a different pace and in different ways than he is—she isn't seeking any situation where she would make potentially world-shaping decisions or have influence over others like he would. His goals are singularly risky. Veth comes closest to this, in that she very briefly considers prolonging the war to alleviate her own suffering, but it's not a decision she's ever forced to make.

(Honestly, thinking about this, an arc in which Veth does take that deal with Isharnai is a fascinating alternative universe to consider—it would certainly give her the opportunity to relate to Caleb in this way, but it would probably take another fifty episodes before Caleb could even bring himself to consider forgiving her, given it would be in direct conflict to the one thing he's been working at for a third of the campaign up until then. Still, a fascinating consideration!)

So between Caleb attempting to sway the scourger and going to Astrid's house in secret, this is the point at which it seems like the Nein cannot help him do the rest of the work. They have done a lot to get him here and considering what else he wants! But they can't offer him what that is, which is essentially tangible corroboration of what they've already offered.

And at this point in the campaign when taken as a whole, there's only one character who can actually offer that. Because to have real emotional weight, what Caleb is looking for is someone who is as smart as he has, who has made a similarly horrific decision even in spite of that intelligence, and who has now committed to actual change.

It's the commitment to actual change that is difficult, because it requires a support structure—and in hindsight, there's not enough time left to build that up for someone like Astrid or Eadwulf, but it's already partially in place for Essek.

(We can debate all day long about what could've been different if the hiatus never happened, or the campaign had lasted longer, but this is specifically about the campaign that we have. I think there is also an argument to be made that Astrid or Eadwulf would've required a much longer and more intensive timeframe to reach that point even if the campaign had continued than the format really offered, because they have preconceived notions about Caleb that complicates their ability to take what he says at face value even if they care about him succeeding in his goals—but that's also not relevant to this point.)

But I do think this is why Essek progresses very quickly, and is largely committed to aiding them by 124—he already has been aiding them, and has expressed loyalty to them above anyone else.

This is not as much of a leap as it may appear to some, because even by 91 and 97, he had done significant introspection on his own time. This is only a continuation of how he has been characterized thus far. He's expressed doubt from a very early point, whereas Astrid does not begin to express doubt (regardless of whether she feels it, because this is about capacity for willing admittance) until after the dinner with Trent.

What ends up happening is that Essek's the one who actually calls Caleb on things. He gives him an ultimatum with the conversation about Trent when the Nein won't. He offers reason and perspective in the paper room when the rest of the Nein get impatient. He checks off all of the boxes of what Caleb is looking for (which is essentially a narrative mirror), and very early into the Nein's trip through Aeor, Caleb seems to have forgiven him, and his fears and misgivings erode from there.

Only this corroboration, because his opinion of Essek is specifically about his opinion of his own capacity for change, allows him to recognize that returning to the past would simply make him the same person he had been at 17, and finally put that plan, the person that he was, and his parents to rest. If he is not able to be anything other than that boy, then he has no reason to not remain as such, and return to the past; but if he believes himself capable of change, then the question of going back in time is one of leaving behind the person he is now in favor of the boy who made that choice. He is asked, if he believes himself capable of change, to acknowledge that he was that person once, but can now be more than that and move beyond it.

And the proof that he needs in order to affirm that when he is given the opportunity to do so is standing next to him.

Fundamentally, this is not related to Caleb's long-term relationship with Essek at all. This could have been the end of it—they could've parted ways and the story would've still been told and completed.

But I think it is important that a) Essek does get to have some happiness, and b) part of that is with Caleb (though this still doesn't have any bearing on platonic vs romantic, only that they have some kind of close mutual relationship in the long run). On a very basic level, because he is now in this position of being corroborating evidence for Caleb himself, Essek becomes a stand-in for how the narrative sees Caleb, and how Caleb views himself.

If the narrative condemns him and leaves him out to dry, it is an implicit reflection on Caleb—and directly conflicts with the narrative implication that Caleb is not solely worth condemnation. And however much it has nothing to do with romance or a relationship of that kind, Caleb's choice to care about him in the long run is an acknowledgement of being willing to care for and forgive himself.

#critical role #caleb widogast #cr meta #fun way to die: take a shot every time i use the word 'narrative' while reading this #this has been a long time coming and everyone is very lucky it was only 1500 words.#there's literally so much more to say about this and how fascinating it is within the narrative structure but #that's an argument for a WAY longer paper #tbh i didn't even have space here to go into it and I'm not going to but #this also does mean that essek is not *in canon* a protagonist in the same sense the PCs are and he simply can't be #he has other purposes on a narrative level and that's really important! but as much as he has an arc that arc is For Caleb narratively

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