#I don’t expect for things to improve based on just doing this and idk if things will be like they use to be but this is the only friendship

[whimsyprinx]

i think I just need to stop clinging to and getting so attached to people

#whimsy whispers #because then things fall apart and so do I #it’s also just like suffocating and annoying of me to do to people I’ve realized #like I just tend to get too attached to people and when things get bad and I can’t fix them I don’t know what to do or how to cope #especially when it feels like no one else is being affected the same way I am so it feels like it’s just a me problem #anyways guess who finally talked to their irl about how they’d been feeling for the past few months #I don’t expect for things to improve based on just doing this and idk if things will be like they use to be but this is the only friendship #that I feel like I can like idk salvage at this point #I don’t think they’ll go back to being the most important person in the world to me or my very best friend but maybe that’s for the best #it just hurts not having someone like that in my life anymore because I did genuinely love them so much but like idk I already knew they’d #never love me as much as i did like they have actual loved ones who it makes more sense to cherish more which is like obvs fine I just like #idk i feel like I generally stopped being important in general to them and that’s what hurt most #as for the other friendships I’m uncertain about there’s nothing I can do there #I talk to like very few people now and have been trying to like allow new people to try and get close to me as scary as that is #I am afraid I’ll just fuck up those relationships too tbh because everything is a cycle with me #idk I just feel stupid and helpless and like there’s nothing I can do and maybe i just need to accept that there isn’t anything I can do to #fix my mistakes like I can’t undo anything and I can’t fix them and like I just hope I’ll accept that eventually #and again I need to just learn to stop getting so attached to people it’s just abdjfktk hard for me not to but each time I hurt others or #others hurt me it makes it harder for me to want to let anyone else get closer and eventually I’m going to be all alone if this keeps up #anyways tnats tofays vent/fun little realization that I need to force myself to accept

[ayoyoungg]

I’m so glad they finally released the full cam (without reactions) for Round 2.

Group B and Group C were both phenomenal!! Here’s my interpretation of why I think C won (and it being justified):

When comparing the two groups, I think C was just overall solid. I’d argue that both teams were dancing in the pocket, but C’s members were more equal in terms of skill. C’s synhronization was also impressive. One of the judges (I don’t remember who but I think Gikwang?? or Kyuhyun??) mentioned how the ppl not in the center held their own with a strong performance too. I think B had a couple group moments where the gap in skills became apparent (some of the members hidden in the back).

Next is props & story. It seemed like some of the judges weren’t too big on props, but I just thought that was personal taste. For B, I think they could’ve gone without the story. Like what was the point of the book? And then the ending with Junseo waking back up/ coming back alive?? also could’ve gone without it. I think if they were going the story route, the story should’ve been clearer. Were they students taking a break from studying and wanting some excitement? Were they just rebellious teens? Was it a sleepover? Did they go to sleep or die at the end? Tbh, I think this song & the idea of 1 person “surviving” at the end would’ve been better executed if the plot was about a heist. That or just go no story at all.

Clothes honestly play a factor, granted I don’t think the contestants have much input. C’s clothes were very uniform, streamlined, and simple. It was very easy to appreciate their dance lines & the sync. B’s clothes, while literally school uniforms, had more variety. The outfits were also baggy, which I don’t know how to explain, but that exposed more when it came to the varying skills in hip hop choreo.

Finally, keep in mind that the scores were really close AND varied a lot. It wasn’t that every judge had B & C as either 1st or 2nd. Two of the judges (Moonbyul & Gikwang) gave D a higher score than B. The point difference between B & D was literally 1. This all just goes to show how impressive ALL of the performances were. It was seriously that tight.

#the tldr is that i totally get if someone thinks B should’ve won but don’t say C’s win was unjustified #the excuse of it being a ‘typical sexy kpop choreo’ is tiresome (even if true) #it’s about the execution!! #I didn’t go into much detail about that for C because I’ve seen enough others do so #also honestly wouldn’t put it past the judges if they were trying to spread out the benefits…BUT #they seemed just as surprised as us with the results - which I think was genuine #another thing to take with a grain of salt #while all the judges are pros in the field I only consider 3 (maybe 4) as experts in dance #and this is a kpop survival show not SMF #so I think they judged based on overall performance/execution rather than difficulty #it was also unclear what each judge’s criteria was cuz I don’t think they shared w/ us a rubric (I could be wrong) #like did some judges take improvement into consideration? #were there higher expectations for certain teams? #idk — all I know is that the teams were great & im hella excited for the attention jongup’s getting #me #jt #just thoughts #jtbc peaktime #I hate the spacing on mobile

[nevarroes]

When you started posting about Gortcas, did you already have the whole story and nuances of their relationship in your head and just like slowly disclosed parts of it to the audience? Or you didn't plan all those things in advance?

Sometimes I feel like you didn't expect people to get interested in Gortcas so much. And we LOVE THEM. Maybe it's not the case but sometimes I feel like you underestimate how great of an artist and storyteller you are

hmm I’d say I had a lot of their story planned out already but far from everything. The more I drew them at the beginning the more I also got a feel for where I want them to go so... by the time Cas got his final/current design (think at the end of september, so two months in) I also kinda separated him from a lot of ingame stuff and I had most of their “base” dynamic as well as Cas as a character down. I started to focus a bit more on how they’d act intimately which is also where I started to write about the whole feederism thing which, admittedly, also added and changed quite a few things but yeag☝

I don’t think I really talked about them before this though so by the time i started most things were already in place so even when going back to like… old ask anwers nd stuff they’re honestly still true, albeit some not as detailed as I could answer now. I will say though that many asks I got made me think of things and situations I haven't quite thought about before in relation to them, definitely adding to their development since I do think that with, u know... writing characters u will just kinda consistenly improve and flesh them out and even subconsciously change them a little over time

but with that being said I did NOT expect anyone to care this much about them at all especially since I was never too much of a person that freely posted about OCs online (I was very "eh no one cares") but with Gortcas idk.... I just started to be more loose with my art at the same time and enjoying finally being able to portray interactions with that so I'm extremely happy and grateful that they stuck with people tbh! and thank you so so much & also everyone that does interact or send asks or even just lurk, it means a lot to me💜

#blakemail

[bloody-wonder]

mid-year book freak out tag

years go by... i still read books...

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2023? moby dick! i totally did not expect to like this dusty tome so much but it was just too perfect a mix of tropy revenge tale, sea adventure mockumentary, and making stuff up and putting it into categories that caused pleasant vibrations in my neurodivergent brain. i have watched so many whale documentaries after reading this, you guys have no idea🐳

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2023? flamefall is the second book in the aurelian cycle and it’s the best sequel i’ve read so far this year. the addition of a slow burn mm master/servant story line improved things considerably, not to mention that it was my favorite character’s time to shine. this series is sooo good, please read it guys you won’t regret it i swear🙏

(ngl i’m a bit annoyed that fourth wing, this fireborne sjm-ified, is doing numbers out there and meanwhile there’s no fandom for the aurelian cycle to speak of😒)

also i simply have to mention defekt, book two of litenverse. i found the first book quite boring despite it’s shortness but the sequel has a sad lil guy🥺. highly recommend for fans of black mirror, severance or the murderbot diaries. you don’t reeeally need to read book one btw, i think you can just read the description and then jump straight to the good stuff

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? i want to read witch king but i keep putting it off cause everything i hear about it sounds suspiciously like *american author does mdzs* and idk how i feel about that😬

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2023? i’m looking forward to system collapse the most bc it’s gonna be set chronologically after network effect and it’s longer than the other murderbot novellas too. very excited to see murderbot and art bicker again hehe

5. Biggest Disappointment? ig it’s the warrior’s apprentice😬 many people recced the vorkosigan saga to me as “the lymond chronicles in space” but based just on this first(-ish) book i have to say miles is uhhh,, not lymond😐 lymond’s key traits are that he’s queer and a cunt and baby miles is simply not that (yet). of all the other books that people mentioned on my overcompetent scheming bastard post this was the last one i hadn’t read so i was a bit disappointed that it didn’t pull me in like the lymond chronicles. however, of all the books mentioned there it’s also the only series i can see myself continuing any time soon so. it wasn’t all too bad ig🤷‍♀️

i was also somewhat disappointed by assassin’s apprentice but i will make myself push through the realm of the elderlings just bc i’m so intrigued by the fool👀

6. Biggest Surprise? apart from the life changing experience that was moby dick i gotta admit i didn’t expect to like the goblin emperor, what with it being one of those cozy hopepunk fantasies where people are nice and decent to each other🙄 but it really did grow on me by the end, it indeed made me feel cozy and soothed. now i wanna try katherine addison’s older darker stuff that was apparently so controversial she had to change her pen name or smth👀🤭  

7. Favorite New Author? so i read another book by christopher rice and can confirm that he’s now one of my favorite authors. the man’s early 2000s gay thrillers are very melodramatic and refreshingly juicy - you can really tell they were published in ye olden pre-twitter times

8. Newest Favorite Character? cyrano savinien hercule de bergerac. after just reading that first act where he monologues about his nose for three pages straight and then spends all the money he has to hijack a theater and cause a scene by duelling a guy on stage while insulting him in ballad form i thought wow but this is one of my sexy fucked up guys who like to swish their swords and run their mouths! please enter the mind rotation chamber, monsieur🙌

9. Newest Fictional Crush? power sur eater🐉 you guys are sleeping on the aurelian cycle and on the Glory and Tragedy of My Boy who has done nothing wrong ever in his life and i love him😭 seriously, if you’d like to watch a character like draco malfoy go through jaime lannister’s arc you gotta read this series

also csevet aisava? the guy who put sexy in bureaucracy?? it’s a crime that he and maia didn’t kiss tbh

💕Best Ship💕 the relationship of griff and delo in the aurelian cycle was SO dramatic and full of rawest scenes! kinda reminded me of captive prince at times, bc of the whole master/servant element. and the ending? “i will grow old in love, let them sing of others”?? i am Emotion🥺

10. Book That Made You Cry? furysong made me cry my eyes out like every ending to a ya series should. have i mentioned you should read the aurelian cycle btw? but also both moby dick and cyrano de bergerac made me laugh AND cry as only really good books do. there’s a part in moby dick about seeing whales in mountains and stars that made me remember i am a human being and was a small and happy human being once - like that scene in ratatouille when anton ego tastes ratatouille and the nostalgic memories hit him and he becomes not evil anymore. that was nice but i cried like a little bitch😭

11. Book That Made You Happy? re-reading twittering birds never fly without skipping all the yakuza plot scenes made me realize how hilarious this manga actually is! yashiro can obviously crack a joke but this time i discovered the comic relief goldmine that is nanahara

skjdvnksjdvk like?!

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? i have a LOT of criticisms about martin crimp’s “free adaptation” of cyrano de bergerac but ngl it was fun to watch the play come to life on stage (even tho there were no swords, a crime😒) and even more fun to watch christian kiss cyrano on the mouth like god intended

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? so this year i actually started reviewing stuff on goodreads for the first time and it’s quite fun and really useful for refreshing your memory on what you thought of a book. i try to go for short and witty over in depth and analytical so i suppose the best examples of the reviews i have written so far would be the ones of moby dick and the goblin emperor

14. Most Beautiful Cover? the og red cover of fireborne slaps! the revolutionary red? the minimalist black dragon? the main characters’ profiles formed by its wings?? talented brilliant show stopping. idk who made the decision to redesign the covers after the first book but that decision was utterly stupid🤨

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? i need to finish some series (the diviners, the dreamhealers, the broken earth), then like i said i want to read witch king and also i’m doing the classics challenge again so i have to at least finish reading roxelana and re-read the picture of dorian gray (the uncensored edition👀). i have looked up my old mid year tags and was pleased to discover that i since have managed to read all the books mentioned there EXCEPT for you love me which has been a staple in my reading plans since 2021 so i’m gonna put it on this list again to honor the tradition lmao

overall i have to say my reading year is going well but i still miss the exhilaration of discovering new books worth obsessing over like it kept happening in 2019-2021 with the secret history, captive prince, all for the game, mdzs and lymond. last year i used to think i wasn’t doing a good job of finding books like this but now i’m starting to suspect that i have actually read ALL the good books and there aren’t any left :( but that’s absurd right?? or isn’t it?! anyways tell me what you’ve been reading so that i can maybe get intrigued by something and prove myself wrong on this🙏📚

@figuringthengsout @counterwiddershins @fugitoidkry @magpiefngrl @sugarbabywenkexing @fandomreferencepending @pemberlaey @oliviermiraarmstrongs @hello-jumping-in-puddles @thehalcyonharbinger @pinkasrenzo @beeblackburn @weirdsociology @veliseraptor @theodoradove @sixappleseeds @doh-rae-me @venndaai 

talk to me about books guys! if you want to!!

goodreads │ old mid year tags 2020 2021 2022 

#book tag #now i can rec good whale documentaries! #if anyone's interested #btw has anyone read both witch king and mdzs? care to comment on my concerns??

[fox-steward]

hello I was hoping to get advice on running! i was never particularly athletic but started doing couch to 5k and have just hit the 3mi mark but it’s TOUGH and I don’t really feel like I can easily do it. How do I get better at running, and faster and be able to hit longer distances? is it just practice? it seems so far out of reach 😭 my hip also hurts when I run but is that just because I’m bad at running?

hey, congrats on hitting your 3 mile mark, that’s incredible! i remember the first time i ran 3 miles and it was also tough. one thing i know now was i was going way too fast!

the answer to most of your questions is to just run more, but i would specifically advise slowing down as you run more.

slow down so much it seems easy and you could have a chat while running those three miles. it might feel “too slow,” and might seem silly to go that slow, but this is how you a) make three miles not feel tough, b) go longer distances, and c) get faster. this is also how you preserve your own mental fortitude by not making running miserable all of the time.

running is miserable some of the time, and i would even venture that it should be miserable a very slim sliver of the time, like when you’re doing hill repeats or sprinting or you just hit mile 24 of a marathon. but i digress.

also, the slower you run the farther you can go. if you want to go farther and eventually get faster, you need more time on your feet; more time running causes physical adaptations in your body that make running easier/more efficient. and importantly, you cannot force these adaptations by going faster or farther than you’re ready to, you can only injure yourself this way.

if you wanna go farther and faster, you can’t increase both at the same time. your body isn’t adapted to both, and asking it to adapt to both is a recipe for injury. pick either distance or speed to increase and do so very cautiously. finishing a workout and feeling like you’ve still got gas in the tank is a good thing.

and at the beginning of your running journey, just running more is likely going to improve your ability at both speed and distance.

idk how many miles you’re running per week, but the common idea is, don’t increase your mileage more than 10% per week. so if you ran 10 miles this week, no more than 11 next week.

about the hip pain—right out the gate, this isn’t medical advice and i recommend a physical therapist, which is how i cured my own hip pain when i first began running. she identified muscle imbalances in my body—namely that my thigh muscles were a lot stronger than my glutes, which were not activating during running and my thigh muscles and my hip flexors were overcompensating, hence the pain. so your issue could be strength based, and strength training is incredibly helpful to running even if that’s not the source of your pain. it could also be to do with your gait when running, which is something a PT can help you sort out. i had to change my gait significantly in addition to strengthening my glutes to sort my pain. another possible culprit is your shoes. your running shoes might be old, after about 500-700 miles, you should retire your shoes; after about 300 miles shoes will start to be affected by the use. so if your shoes are old or aren’t exclusive or specifically running shoes, time for new ones.

it could also be that your shoes are not the right specs for your body/gait. i run in shoes with a high drop (10mm), which is the distance between the heel and the toe of the shoe. i once tried to change brands of shoes and switched to an 8mm drop thinking i’d be fine, but i was not fine. i had tendinitis in my achilles for two months following ~60 miles in the new shoes. i went back to a new pair of my old shoes and the tendinitis went away.

SO that’s a lot way to say idk see a PT.

and while soreness is to be expected and a little ache or two, running shouldn’t cause real pain, and if it is, that’s a sign somethings up. it doesn’t mean you’re a bad runner either, it just means you need to pay attention and make some adjustments.

don’t seek a destination (like getting faster) when running, just run. it’s not going to be a steady incline of progress where each run improves on the last. your ability to enjoy the act of running itself will help you stick with what can be a lifelong hobby. and that brings me back to—slow down.

and as for running in the heat, it will always be harder than running in cool/cold. my paces drop significantly in the heat no matter how much i run in it. it also makes you sweat more, which means you’re losing (and thus need to replace) more water and more electrolytes when running in the heat vs running in the cool.

be kind to yourself. if running feels hard one day, whether it’s because of heat or because of life stress or bad sleep or whatever, just go easier so you can enjoy it and stick with the habit—this will almost always lead to improvement, but it certainly won’t make you worse at running.

good luck!

#about running #asked #answered #anon

[whentherewerebicycles]

spent 3+ hours on the phone with liz walking the dogs in the rain and doing chores and making dinner so I’m cured of sadness basically. kind of a hard day but mostly just in the ways I anticipated it would be. job is official official and I’m very happy about it. I’ve decided not to psych myself out about the fact that it’s a big career jump and instead dive into the work with the assumption that 1) I can learn how to do it with practice, 2) not having done this work at this level before means I’ll have to really listen to/observe/build relationships with people around me so I can learn from their expertise (which just seems like a good philosophy in general), and 3) I don’t have to stress about molding myself to some norm I made up in my head! I can decide what kind of professional I want to be and can just go about being that kind of professional. and if it takes a while to figure things out that’s normal—it took me a full two years before I really felt confident and competent in my last university job, so I should expect a similar adjustment period here.

I also just spent an hour paging through the two new cookbooks I ordered and looking at this other one my friend recommended online. this has given me lots of recipe ideas obviously but it’s also making me think about what the next stage in Learning How to Cook is going to look like. I feel like 4-5 months of focused practice has helped me achieved my initial goals of wanting to feel more confident in my ability to make new recipes, to produce consistent results when re-making old recipes, and to be able watch/taste food while cooking and make adjustments (to salt, fat, acid, and heat) as needed to improve the outcome. I’ve also tried a lot of new foods, taught myself to like new things by preparing them in different ways, and amassed a bunch of easy, low-fuss vegetarian/vegan meals that produce great leftovers.

I’d definitely like to continue expanding my repertoire of meals, but I’ve also been thinking that I want to develop a better understanding of how to construct really good meals. to me this means learning…

how to choose dishes that go well together,

how to prep simple starters and sides (both for planned meals & for when you’re just throwing things together based on what’s in the fridge)—idk I am such a one-dish-meal kind of person but I’d love to try a bunch of things and have more ideas to draw on!

how to make little tweaks to existing recipes that will amp up the wow factor of the dish… i feel like I have friends who are good at things like swapping out a run-of-the-mill dressing on a salad with something more intriguing, or preparing sides in ways that make the food feel a lot fancier without making the actual prep part more difficult. I always admire it when people can think of quick little upgrades to a simple meal and I wanna be able to do that someday too.

I think that’s going to be my next area of focus! I know that going back to work in person means I won’t have as much time/energy for extended all-afternoon cooking sessions but I know myself lol if I can make this next phase into a structured ~learning experience~ it will seriously boost my motivation to actually follow through. so I gotta think a bit about what I want this to look like and how I’m going to identify the skills involved & create opportunities for myself to practice them. gonna make myself a curriculum babyyy that’s what life is all about

[shouta-aizawow]

[for the ask game]

T!

HI HI :D idk if you’re ok with me saying your name so I won’t, but thanks for the ask!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

Bakugou/Bakugou-Related

Bakugou is Not CisHet has to be the biggest one. That boy is queer I tell you!!!!

Uhhhh I don’t see him being romantically attracted to women at all as well. Like, maybe sexually ig but not romantically. He’s not into the girls in his class at all. I accept MomoBaku hesitantly, but I think his “crushes” on women are largely just celebrity crushes (like on pro heroes)

Also I refuse to believe he will grow up to be some sort of tank like endeavor. Absolutely not. He will be lithe. There’s no way he’d be able to do all those arial maneuvers otherwise

He’ll be the number one hero idc idc (unless he decides he doesn’t want to be. If he wants to be he will be one)

He’s good at stealth. Not even a headcanon, but he is quiet when people aren’t provoking him, and he’s extremely level headed in a fight even when he’s pissed off.

He’s not gonna be super tall as an adult. Look at his parents, that boy is not growing more than 6’ (tbh I can accept it but only if his partner(s) are taller than him) He gives “I got my growth spurt in middle/high school school” energy. If he has a growth spurt, I think he’d be really awkward in his body for a while until he grows more confident and has a high self esteem.

Mitsuki and Masaru are bad parents. It’s not “””confirmed””” but based on canon it’s clear that they aren’t, even if they love Katsuki.

He has PTSD, he’s neurodivergent, he’s insecure, has a superiority/inferiority complex, he has depression and anxiety

Bakugou pushes everyone to be better. His friends stick with him because they like him, not just bc he cooks for and tutors them, and he pushes them to improve and expect the best of themselves

Although Deku was Shouto’s first friend, he considers Bakugou his closest or best friend. The Remedial Squad is a healthier friendship for Shouto than the Deku Squad (I’d argue that they’re also healthier for Bakugou than Sero and Mina)

Disclaimer: Bakugou is not a toxic friend to Shouto. I think now Bakugou considers Shouto his friend and respects him based on his words in the manga, but before that, Bakugou has stated numerous times that they were not friends. He can’t be a “bad friend” if he doesn’t even consider them friends, and Shouto can believe they’re close friends (I think they’re close) even if Bakugou doesn’t think they’re friends. That doesn’t make Bakugou a bad person

If he‘d okay with sex, he is not a top or at least not a top-leaning switch IDC WHAT YOU SAY HIS NAME COMES LAST IN A SHIP

Kaminari

Kaminari isn’t some twig I will not stand for it. (Also the way he’s portrayed in fanon a lot of the time is a squick of mine) He may not be as muscular as some of others, but he has muscle and I think when he gets older, he’d either have the body type of Hawks or more buff

He’s an awesome friend to Bakugou idc idc idc he knows boundaries and doesn’t do things he knows Bakugou won’t like. At the beginning he may not have liked him, but he likes him now

Kirishima

Kirishima will be tall. Very tall. Tbh I think all the boys in 1-A would be pretty tall (mineta doesn’t exist)

He’s definitely mixed

He’s emotionally mature and would speak up if he has a problem. He wouldn’t just let if fester

He’s occasionally insecure like the average person, but he’s not depressed (he’d probably have PTSD based on this year alone, but at least beforehand I don’t think he was depressed) and definitely not suicidal

He doesn’t want to “fix” Bakugou at all. He became friends with Bakugou because he knew that that was how he was. Of course he wants to push Bakugou to be better, but he doesn’t think he needs to be fixed. Speaking of Bakugou, Bakugou doesn’t make him feel insecure in the slightest. He makes him feel stronger

Deku

He’s gonna be a tall tank like All Might (maybe not as tall but yknow what I mean). I guess I could accept if he’s short, but he will be buff

If he didn’t have OFA, then I think he’d be shorter and definitely have no muscle like his middle school days. Probably more on the lanky side, maybe awkwardly so, but maybe he grows into it

Deku isn’t a good friend to Todoroki

He’s lowkey but not lowkey an abuse apologist (Endeavor, Overhaul, I’d even argue with Kota’s parents although I don’t think they were abusive. He handled Kota’s grieving in an absolutely awful way.) I think this is Hori’s mentality being portrayed through Deku, but

He’s an unreliable narrator

He doesn’t respect boundaries, least of all the boundaries of Bakugou (again, not really a headcanon just based off of all the times Bakugou as verbally and no verbally expressed discomfort with Deku’s knowledge of him and actions yet Deku keeps pushing)

Teachers

Aizawa is not straight

Present Mic is not straight

All Might is an awful awful awful mentor and teacher

Midnight shouldn’t be a teacher of kids. She’s,,, ick

Nedzu is 0/10 and shouldn’t be a principal when he hates humans (if he’s a good… person… in fics that’s fine, but I definitely don’t think he is in canon)

Others

Mina is black

Miruko is black

Rock Lock speaks only facts. He’s always right

Inko is not a bad parent in the slightest. She’s may not be absolutely perfect, but she’s a good mom

I probably have more, but this is all I have at the moment. If I have more, I’d probably reblog this post with them 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

I like how I managed to squeeze in Bakugou in nearly every category. Go me!!! 🕺🕺🕺🕺💃💃💃💃💃💃

#thank you for sending!!! #🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 #this is my opinion #you won’t change my mind <3 #if you don’t come correct then I’ll block you #(this is for the ppl that sometimes come into my mentions) #wow! asks! #long post #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bakugo katsuki #bnha headcanons #if you saw typos no you didn’t

[stormyoceans]

please never shut up about vice versa and puentalay and jimmysea. I'm curious how do you think if they will try to make their chemistry to look more.. idk passionate? to try some new dynamic (enemies to lovers for example or rivals to lovers) will they succeed?

sfjkshfksg looking at the state of my blog rn i'd say you don't need to worry about me shutting up about them any time soon anon (unless someone decides to put me out of my misery which at this point is probably only a matter of time)

i’d LOVE to see jimmy and sea play an enemies to lovers kind of storyline, and while i do think it would be a bit more challenging for them, i also believe that in the end they’d be able to pull it off brilliantly. i feel like when it comes to enemies to lovers a lot of people tend to focus on the physical tension between the characters more, but a big part of what makes this type of dynamic so appealing is actually the emotional intensity behind it, and if there’s one thing jimmy and sea have an abundance of that’s emotional chemistry

one of my favorite scenes in vice versa is actually the argument between puen and talay in episode 9 where they fight over puen wanting to stay in the alternate universe, because as painful as it is, it perfectly showcases just how well jimmy and sea feed off each other’s emotions while acting, which helps making the internal conflict the characters are experiencing feel that much more believable

that’s not to say they don’t have things to work on when it comes to emotions: in my opinion they’re way better at love and adoration than anger and disdain, so for an enemies to lovers story they would need to improve on that, but at the same time it doesn’t particularly worry me because they are so attuned to each other’s feelings that im sure they’d be able to draw out the right ones if it calls for it

as for more passionate and charged scenes, i was honestly very surprised at how good they turned out to be at kissing. not that i expected a dead fish kiss from them (it seems those days are ALMOST behind us, thankfully), but i sure as hell also wasn’t expecting OPEN MOUTHED MAKE UP SESSIONS WITH A SLIP OF TONGUE THEY WERE INSANE FOR THAT. so once again i think that they have a strong base to build on, though i’d say that in this particular case sea does need to become a little bit more comfortable with physical intimacy. if you watch their kisses in vice versa, it’s pretty obvious that jimmy has no problem with grabbing and touching sea during them, while sea tends to keep to himself a lot. it’s not really an issue with puen and talay because it fits with talay being shyer, but for future roles (especially if they’re part of an enemies to lovers story) i’d tell sea not to be afraid to grab jimmy back and push him around a little, because that helps a lot to make things more passionate and realistic

so yeah, they do need to work on some things, but honestly i think they have great potential for pretty much anything and im submitting my very own specific idea for a jimmysea enemies to lovers series to GMMTV as we speak

#HOW DID I END UP WRITING SO MUCH AGAIN GOD IM SO SORRY #and i tried to be as unbiased as possible but i also just saw someone say they aren't great kissers so im either blinded by love #or people have very different standards compared to mine when it comes to kisses #also my english still feels terrible today i do hope im making sense here #vice versa the series #puentalay #jimmy jitaraphol #sea tawinan #m: ask

[cup-in-a-cake]

idk what to do anymore...

I knew that after being on my own, It’s hard to feel like I’m fully ready. I remember the first day I was by myself, my charge nurse, gave me some reassurance and even gave me their number if I needed help. I had 2 patients, one on a pressor and one who had propofol and fentanyl while being vented. From that point till now, I had days that were ups and downs. Trying to learn and not make the same mistakes. I remember every bit of what happened based on my experiences because there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t know if I gave it my all to my patients. My coworkers tell me I worry too much but it’s a unit that’s built on a critical care and I’m the type to be really cautious. I’ve had assignments that I felt where it didn’t felt right to be tripled or even appropriate for someone who just came off orientation but I still continued on. Learning from my experiences over and over again. Then go home and vent about my day to my mom who’s also a nurse because she’s someone I looked up to. I’ve had doctors who even taught me things that I haven’t learned or experienced yet. I made it to the point of almost 4 months. Just trying to survive and not kill anyone. 

With my past, I get why it’s easy to pin the blame on me. Someone who just got off orientation 4 months prior, was given to a preceptor on the first day of orientation that didn’t really do anything and only to be taken off from work later when I wasn’t under them (i felt humble with my experience with them because they taught me what they could), had reports from nurses that say they weren’t up to their expectations even though I spent as little as a day with them, had a preceptor that didn’t work out very well which extended my time so that I can be given another chance. Through all of that to remedy the negatives, I had a wonderful time with the preceptors they’ve chosen later on, especially my night preceptor. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I knew I feel like I wasn’t ready when they said I was ready to be on my own. Because when do you truly feel ready when you are with no one holding your hand by your side? But as time goes by, my confidence slowly grows. Taking into account what I’ve done and take them to heart so that I could grow myself better. I had to do the self reflection on myself because no one else told me to... But I still wished they had told me what I needed to improve on. If what they’ve said was true, why did I had a patient tell me that they liked how attentive I was with them, why did I have another patient told me god bless and said they really liked how I took care of them, why did I have another patient tell me they liked me as their nurse and even praised me for my services. They were the only critics I’ve had. I’ve been there when a patient cried and held their hand, told me their story of how they weren’t shown any sympathy besides me. That’s the reason why I became a nurse. I wish they have told me what I needed to do and what to improve on, so that I can do what’s necessary. Or if there was a problem, it should’ve been brought to my attention even if it’s good or bad. It was only a matter of time before I suffered the consequences. 

I would think you were supposed to be in a unit that’s built on teamwork, but the first number one advice I was given was “Don’t trust anyone.” I remember that day so vividly. I was tripled at the time and one of my patients wanted a sprite and crackers. I catered to their needs as well as the other patient with family because I wanted them to be comfortable. When I had finished giving the food, I noticed a call light with another one of my patients. I quickly came in and saw that the patient was desaturating. Immediately, I knew it was a respiratory issue and I wanted check if he was receiving the nasal cannula properly, even checked the waveform of the pulse ox. At the time, they were receiving precedex and amiodarone so I turned off the sedation to see if it would help him wake up even though it was at a low dose and not long ago he was even hanging off the bed while my Tita helped the patient get picked up to be properly place on the bed. He was mouth breathing and was barely holding on so I notified RT who was just next door to come and help me place the patient on BiPaP. I even took another pulse ox with me to check if it wasn’t picking it up properly because before that was the issue and the patient was fine. Once placed on BiPap and changing the pulse ox, I checked the saturations and it was picking up but not where it needs to be so I knew something was wrong. I checked for responsiveness and there was none so I immediately left and went to charge to tell them my findings with the interventions I’ve done while the RT was still at bedside. Since then, I didn’t know it was going to be the worst day of my life. Wasn’t it rational to escalate it to charge? I was taught since day one to notify them if there’s an emergency or situation you couldn’t handle, especially by someone who’s still learning the ropes of the ICU. When the event was over, the patient passed away. Mucus plug because of their esophageal stage 4 cancer and there was an order not to have him deep suctioned. I was numb. People try to help me and ask if I was okay, but I felt like I wasn’t. I felt like I didn’t do my best. The son understood what happened and even told me he saw what we did and he appreciated what we’ve done. I felt like it was an eye opening experience for me because it was the first time it ever happened to me... and the last. The day after, receiving report but then told to go down to meet house sup. I still didn’t feel like I was myself. Upon receiving the news I was suspended, I didn’t even have the urge to cry. I just felt like I have no emotions. It’s weird because I get emotional over things like these, but I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I just felt so... empty. A suspension without pay which was close to termination. I had no words left in me and drove home late at night close to 10. I learned afterwards and highly suspected the report was on the patient that died from a source. The report made, according to my sources, was your truly, my charge nurse. Whom I thought I was supposed to trust in situations like these. I’ve had multiple support when I asked around if what I did was right, but in their eyes, my charge’s, it wasn’t. It was so easy to blame it on me. I get it. Day after day whenever I work, I try to put a smile on my face because it helps me get through the day. I even try to ask for help if it was necessary. It’s been a few days since then, but I still feel hollow and emotionally depressed. I want to enjoy myself to ease the stress and to take my mind off of it but I can’t. I barely have an appetite and I just don’t know what to do. I hate this feeling because I wasn’t told what I was suspended for until a day later. I told my director that the assignment I was given didn’t feel right or safe, but they insisted that it was appropriate and that even PCU nurses can take it. I should’ve told them at the time that they don’t handle the meds that we have. I didn’t mention it until later on I left and got into my car. When I got home, I just feel like sleeping. I didn’t even feel happy with my mom who’s my comfort support when we went to the mall so she could cheer me up while picking up her online order. To this day, I still felt miserable. Somehow, inside me, I knew what the outcome is. If by chance this was pardoned, I don’t know if I can work in that type of environment anymore. I really really love working there. I love working with trauma. I love working ICU and the people there that I’ve met who are nice and willing to help me. What I don’t like is being backstabbed in the back. It was my second betrayal while working in that hospital. Should I even continue working in that type of unit? I just don’t even know what to do anymore...

#rant #im done #listening to numb little bug #i actually cried while writing this haha #<-- me fake laughing #currently praying #how many times have i prayed this year and last year? #idk #i feel like crap

[harryfeatgaga]

back again, i think nyoh actually has a really pretty voice but also, based on what i’ve seen at shows and in videos, at times doesn’t know how to appropriately sing into the microphone (meaning distance from the microphone, what part of the microphone to sing into, etc.), which causes her to be louder than harry at points, which, while i do understand can be a tech issue, it has happened too many times for it to be purely tech. also, usually people will adjust and sing softer or move farther away from the microphone, but she doesn’t seem to make those adjustments when necessary and i would assume that someone probably told her just to generally move farther back or has just straight up lowered her mic volume, so the issue has improved somewhat. further, at times i’ve seen her not following arrangements and you can tell that’s happening because other members of the band will react weirdly like they didn’t expect her to do that, which, i understand by the nature of live music, maybe she’s just improvising, but also if you practiced it a certain way, as backup/instrumentals, you should wait for your lead to prompt you, which harry doesn’t seem to do often. additionally, sometimes she’s just offbeat and will stop playing for a beat before picking up the beat again which i commend her for continuing but it’s also like…you have been playing these songs for like 3 straight years i would assume you’d kind of know how to play them at all tempos. on a more subjective level, idk all of those things added together it just kind of seems like she isn’t improving her understanding of music really and the production has to adjust around her more than anything, which just sucks, speaking as someone who has had to be a part of the people who “adjusts.” she may be a very nice person irl, but, at least to me, i don’t think she’s actually very good at her job and doesn’t really care about his music. i can understand why because it seems like she’s just using this as a basis for her to start her own solo music career, which is okay, but it’s irritating at times. 🫠

omg this is so in depth but all makes sense and adds up lmfao and explains why she sounds louder!

[tricks-of-the-squid]

Squid 3 Direct! Combing through the stuff that got my attention and the like

How long has it been since I’ve done another post like this?

Anyways Squid 3 direct dropped and after processing stuff I guess it’s time to put my thoughts into paper regarding most and/or the new topics. Also the direct is below if you missed it or want to rewatch it again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkQ2TlVoXVg

Time to comb through this and put my thoughts into paper now.

Also yes Inklings can dab idk how to feel about this

Image: SplatoonUS

Squid roll and Squid surge have been explained more in-depth here. Surge is a charge-based movement mechanic and Squid roll is what we expected from the turf war demonstration. I think Squid roll either has damage reduction or i-frames but I’m not too sure what the final call is.

Images (mostly from here on out unless specified): Splatoon 3 direct, screencaps taken by me

I’m not going to talk about the new stages since either they were shown on Twitter or they only showed blips of the new stages. For returning stages I am super excited about Mahi-Mahi Resort coming back but Hammerhead was the one stage I didn’t want back shudders in how Hammerhead really put my return to S Rank in Splatoon 1 run at risk since my Wii U gamepad’s right stick is still broken 

But anyways it also looks like stages from Splatoon 2 are returning as well to encompass 1, 2, and the new stages in 3 as well. Looking forward to possible changes these returning stages are going to have!

Okay so I always drew my inkling with a sword. I didn’t think that Inklings/Octolings with swords would become a reality but here were are. This weapon looks fun to use since it has some range in slash wave attacks and being able to slice through foes quickly so I’m definitely looking forward to trying this out when the game drops.

Credit: @NintendoAmerica Twitter

I hope people don’t sleep on the Tacticooler because if rpg’s and other games have taught me anything is that you do not sleep on buffs. Wavebreaker is Echolocator but exchanges range for kill potential and Reefslider look fun for just barreling into the enemies quickly for that sweet surprise factor.

Loadouts are an extremely nice addition since now I don’t have to select my clothes and weapons in an organized fashion. Also besides Ammo Knights getting a sweet makeover, I find it interesting that you need licenses to purchase weapons instead of just leveling up to a certain threshold and buying them.

I missed this the first time around but being able to swap the main ability on your gear is incredible for customization and optimization. No more needing to limit yourself to certain gear because they have a certain ability and now because of that fashion and optimization can finally live in harmony.

Also Murch got that character development from Splat 2 to Splat 3.

Besides the rebranding of Ranked into Anarchy, I didn’t think that Rainmaker could be improved upon until they added the checkpoint system used in Tower Control. At least with this there’ll be no more 30 second KO’s that I know I have either dealt or taken in Splatoon 2. Also not shown here but it looks like for the rank system it’s more akin to Splatoon 1 but for each mode with the terms listed out even though it would be funny if this game actually went back to Splatoon 1′s rank system and made all the games modes count toward your one rank.

The upgrades to the lobby are great! The test range being merged with the lobby amazing since I can warm up while waiting for games. Also not shown here are ghosts and battle replays where you can join friends and/or people looking for members on the go and battle replays are great since I don’t recall Splatoon having a function like this.

I know that there’s the whole locker thing as well but since it’s mostly cosmetics only thing I have to say about it is that I know I’m going to have fun with that and also fear what others are going to put in their lockers

The catalogs also not shown here do provide an incentive to keep returning for new items.

And now for my thoughts on Table Turf Battle:

HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP SPLATOON TCG HOLY CRAP I DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH ANOTHER DPE/SCYTHE/BRAVE TOKEN BOARD HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP NO MORE BARONNE AND CHENGYING STARING ME DOWN AND RUINING MY DAY BECAUSE I DIDN’T DRAW THE OUTS HOLY CRAP I CAN FINALLY PLAY A SECOND TCG WITHOUT BREAKING THE BANK AND I CAN’T WAIT 

Only question about this is can we run multiples? Also can we get the card backs as sleeves I would really love to have these as card sleeves.

Only new things from Salmon Run are the King Salmonid who may appear at the end of a wave and the new Big Wave looks interesting since it takes you to a multiplayer stage to play out salmon run.

Biggest thing about the news is that it’s finally optional. If you want to check out the news then thankfully it’s not on startup and you can check it anytime in the overworld.

Credit: @Splatoon3News

Not only are we getting the first splatfest, but it’s also the global testfire to boot as well! The timing for this couldn’t have been much better for me. And yes they do have new changes where it’s now three teams competing, not just two.

The first half is the normal formula except with three teams running amok, but the formula for the second half caught my eye. This is definitely the first time where three teams all played at once. The ultra signals look reminiscent to the gimmick used in MC Princess Diaries where your team’s idol can lend a hand. I’m excited to hopefully try this out in the testfire if I can play during that time.

Also some info from the Splatoon 3 website that I’m finding out as I’m typing this post up:

- There is Splatoon 2 save bonuses including gold sheldon licenses to access any weapon regardless of level and access/higher starting point in ranked/anarchy battles

- Cloud saves for Splatoon 3

- Coded lobbies will be added in an update which I think is what it is and will let us connect with others even if we’re not on each other’s friend lists. Hopefully this is the case so fingers crossed.

All in all I’m excited for Splatoon 3, the direct not only had what I expected but also went beyond that with the additions. I know that all is not included at launch but at least I know that I’m excited to play the base game when it drops. Also here’s to hoping that I can catch the splatfest premiere on stream.

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #analysis #direct analysis #direct #Nintendo Direct #global testfire #splatfest premiere #thoughts on the direct

[elendsessor]

hi welcome back to me talking about megaten demon designs and if you follow me or have went through the megaten tags you probably noticed i’ve been on a dsrk kick, specifically with the lone marebito since i unintentionally gave it a reread. i’m sorry if you’ve seen nothing but that shit from me i swear i’m almost done rambling about it.

first time i read it was before i finished dsrk2 so i held off on talking about different designs of reappearing demons since i thought maybe they’d appear in 2 but. nah they didn’t.

a lot of these designs are really cool, redesigns or otherwise.

BRW THIS POST IS LONG I’M SORRY-

i’m gonna toss out a spoiler warning since it’s not likely many people in the megaten community has given the lone marebito a read. there’s an english fan translation here if you’re interested!

quick shoutout to @/eirikrjs since they and @/yamayuandadu made a couple of posts a few years back about the origins of jatou ouhanshin aka this badass motherfucker.

i love giant reptiles in any media and goddamn i love this and yes i want ouhanshin to be included in a future megaten game :D

of course there’s likely some demons i missed/forgot to include so don’t expect every instance.

first up are some redesigns since they mostly appear at the beginning.

now with gremlins! they’re definitely a lot different than any of the previous variations, being a lot more goblin-like + a fat fuck one for good measure. it does more closely represent the pre-soul hackers gremlin design (which is a lot better in my opinion). as silly goofy as they are they do much better fit the general idea of what a gremlin is. this was likely a choice based on the overall tone of the manga, which gets really fucking depressing and a bit more body horror-y/gory than most megaten material, but the smaller gremlins should’ve been the silly goofy with the big boi being the gross monstrosity. idk gremlins are popular enough that having such a vast deviation used in this way doesn’t work.

i think the manticore is actually a complete upgrade from the og designs and is a prime example of the more horror part of tlm improving the original.

idk man i really do not like the og manticore designs. given how the beast itself’s name means man-eater and the fact that it has the body of a lion, the thinner body doesn’t really give that same fear (and the sickly green kinda worsens it). nor does the head??? yeah it’s supposed to be ugly but it looks like a last minute decision and not part of the beast itself. the second one is a bit better but neither of them look that good or scary. (i think they’re more heavily based around a certain latin bestiary depiction but that one sucks too sorry 13th century latin guy.)

even if the manga manticore’s body wasn’t buffer the face is fucking amazing. first it has an actual mane like a couple other depictions do, but turning the normally “ugly” face into a skull is sick as hell. oh and the teeth help it a lot. fantastic demon design all around.

this one is less of a total redesign since it’s character specific. there have been minor alterations made to demons throughout the devil summoner franchise especially with dsrk in order to fit that imperial japan vibe, such as high pixie basically being a pixie wearing a kimono. shiragiku’s design is more based in the soul hackers nekomata design though without being a calico. i wanted to give her a bit of attention on the design part for at least one thing because it’s pretty interesting to me and that’s having a normal cat form. yes because of shiragiku’s backstory it makes sense that she regained her pre-furryfication body. however, when it comes to looking at it from a folklore angle it’s pretty interesting.

all nekomata start off as bakeneko, aka monster cats. they can shape-shift to look either more house cat-like, human-like, and everything in-between. they can also mimic voices. nekomata are basically just stronger bakeneko, symbolized by the split tail (which is how they get their name). in megaten, we don’t really see that often, some of which is understandable. what i find so interesting is that it’s kinda defied in some ways? as in, normal bakeneko are glossed over, unless morgana counts since he pretty much is one. the most commonly used nekomata design in smt is the one from nocturne who only has one tail despite being in a non normal cat state. i’m guessing for the sake of simplicity both bakeneko and nekomata are one in the same due to the heavy similarities. idk it’s pretty confusing but basically this was all an excuse to include cat girls and shiragiku is the closest we’re getting to a truly accurate nekomata.

what if i told you though that behemoth is technically original.

gonna be quick about this since basically aside from devil children behemoth has no original design. it’s mostly just recolors of other demons, mainly elephant/hippo/rhino-like ones. in fairness, behemoth is a warped shouten but it’s so different it’s basically its own demon that goes bye bye before getting any real action. still looks cool af but i’m sorry behemoth.

here’s a weird one. despite maintaining the horn, yato no kami is completely different from the game counterpart and is another much better design (wasted on a character that was pretty underutilized despite the potential). in actual japanese folklore, yato no kami are snake deities (and also some hot anime dude from a game i never heard of thanks google). pointing that out because, while cool on its own, yeah looks too much like a parasite and not what it’s supposed to be.

now for a side note on a couple more demons exclusive to the manga

clarion is interesting to me for one reason and one reason only: it heavily resembles the great will aka the universal will aka existence itself.

this one’s a bit of a stretch but i still find it interesting.

this guy was only in last bible, specifically the game gear version, but is referenced and named dropped a ton. every yhvh avatar is something this thing popped into existence. an equivalent exists in the 4 duology aka the axiom but since both games were a bit of a soft reboot of the traditional mainline style plus is pretty much the exact same thing this counts the axiom. it’s important to note that, as it’s technically a concept and not a physical being, it relies on avatars to get shit done. aside from that, there’s not much info on the great will but it’s considered either equal to or potentially the creator of yhvh.

most of the big time avatars that relate to the great will and yhvh, including yhvh himself, are either a big human face or a circle. while it’s stated in the manga that clarion is a goddamn alien the fact that it keeps so many of the design motifs of the great will, yhvh, and all their ocs, i honestly think it just might be another avatar. i mean it also knows shit like god’s wrath so that has to count for something. it’s just so fucking interesting i love it.

on a final, simpler note, touda is cool. i’m 99% sure it just morphs into ouhanshin but still i love snakes. there are so many serpents n noodly things in tlm it’s cool they’re attached to badass imagery even if they’ll likely never show up in any other official material ever again.

#I DIDNT THINK THIS POST WOULD BE AS LONG AS IT WAS #I’M SORRY #all cool and interesting demon shit tho #to me anyway #shantien rambles #devil summoner #megaten #i’ll shut up about the raidou manga now probably

[spiteless-xo]

I get exactly what you mean. I don’t write a lot of fanfics anymore but when I did, not to say that seeing readers be miserable made me happy but more like their reaction to the misery happening in the text is interesting to see. You saying misery is fun isn’t really a contradiction because did it ever even imply you were the one being miserable? It’s the characters being miserable I think. And even if that weren’t the case, you’re allowed to write your story the way you want considering it’s your story and it goes how you intended it to be. I’d rather read something that crushes me that you wanted/intended to write than something happy but it want what you wrote the fic for. Idk you don’t have to respond to this but I’m really happy you write fics and don’t change according to what readers expect/demand of you and want you to know that!! And it’s a luxury in itself to read content you write in your free time that is literally written so anyone can read it for FREE! I’m not trying to bash or fight that other anon at all but it just rubbed me the wrong way a little bcuz I’m already soo appreciative of what u do 😢! Love ur fics xx

yes! like i don't enjoy seeing people be miserable generally, but when i know they're miserable because of something i wrote and that it's a feeling that i caused based on this thing i created..... i think that's really cool.

the coolest part of writing is being able to invoke emotion in others. whether that's excitement, arousal, misery, whatever. i think that's so so cool that literally just little words on a page can affect people that way.

and absolutely, don't worry 🥰 like i've said before, the story is already written and completed so there's no changing it at this point. i appreciate all the kind words and i also appreciate the criticism because i think it would be unreasonable for me to act like everything i've written is perfect when i've only been writing for such a short amount of time, so hearing that feedback also helps me improve for the future.

#tiff.ask #tbaw.fic

[rigelmejo]

11/17/2022

So. I was doing this thing from September to October where I read stuff WITHIN my reading level, or a bit ‘lower’ but with new words, or a bit ‘higher’ but with a click dictionary. Partly intensively, partly extensively. Read like 400k characters in 2 months. Then... as I sort of expected... my ability to focus shifted. 

I read 3 english books since then (this november) but no more chinese. I watched Flower of Evil, I’m half done with 2 more shows. I wrote 10k words of fanfic (but alas... I have not actually managed to focus on writing again). I’d guess I’m currently in a “read physical books/watch TV” focus mood. And that’ll be shifting into “play video games” and MAYBE one of the prior activities (read or shows) if I’m lucky. But I already feel like playing games again so. Only a matter of time. (And eventually, when that hits, the desire to study Japanese will ramp up again... cause the instant I hear Japanese in Yakuza I’ll want to know how to understand more again).

Also an aside... I STILL really want to just listen through a FULL glossika course, or listen-reading method through a whole audiodrama with subs... just to test out the study methods fully. But alas... still I cannot manage to focus long enough to do either ToT. When I start playing video games again I probably WILL listen to japanese glossika again... but so much is review versus new, idk if I’ll progress through it much. But it will be a good refresher I guess.

Anyway. So the reason I felt like making the post. Right. To say 1. I have not studied for almost a month lol. 2. The only REALLY big ‘study’ activity I feel like doing... and might actually do. Well, its not practical. Its not easy. Which is exactly why there’s a 50% chance I’ll actually do it. As I’m in a ‘reading physical books’ mood, reading my print version of Guardian YET AGAIN is appealing to me. First, because a lot of my stuff is in boxes but not those 2 volumes. Second, because I’ve read 100 pages of it before and followed the plot a year ago, and my reading skill has improved by BOUNDS in the last 2 months, so like... at least I know I already COULD read it so its only a matter now of How Fast can I read now (compared to the very slow 5 minutes a page a year ago) and how many details I’ll grasp (which can only be an improvement from last time). I’m motivated by the fact the books are still easy to get to, and I know they’ve got additional scenes the translations don’t have (since I believe the translation Seven Seas is printing is based on the webnovel version, since Yuka’s doing it and Yuka’s translation when I saw it last was totally the webnovel... no Kunlun prologue, no added scenes in the first chapters like in my print version etc). So unless Seven Seas knows enough to care about the differences, or yuka feels like translating the print edition chapters and combining them (which given how Seven Seas demands quick turnarounds I can see the desire to not crunch time to desperately add those), I’m guessing the official english translation print of Guardian will NOT have a lot of scenes in my print chinese edition (though dan do i hope the english translation at least includes the Shen San extra). Also! If you fee like buying the Chinese Print Edition, for these extra scenes (Kunlun Intro, additions to some scenes in particular chapters like changing Guo Changcheng’s introduction into SID into a mesh of the webnovel and show version with him seeing ghosts with no feet but not fainting until he sees Zhu Hong’s tail - whereas in the original webnovel version Zhu Hong is out that day, Shen San extra, etc), I recommend buying the print simplified chinese cover that’s in browns with a mountain on the cover. Here is book 1 and here’s book 2, in the upper right corner of the page you can click and change the language of the site to english, the site ships internationally. These versions are also on ebay and aliexpress. My favorite cover Guardian editions are the traditional chinese versions with shen wei and zhao yunlan on the covers, with internal gold/white covers. But that version is just a traditional chinese text of the webnovel, missing some extras. The brown mountains cover simplified chinese version is one with the extras and additions. (also for those curious, here’s the japanese translation volume 1 print edition for sale, and Seven Seas english Guardian volume 1 print edition for preorder). Upon checking Seven Seas Danmei, looks like there’s 2 other translations besides yuka listed, so maybe the translators will have enough time to add some of the additional content from the books (again I hope at least the Shen San extra). 

My point is. If I do read my print chinese edition, I will get some scenes I might not be able to read later in english anyway. And what I don’t understand perfect, will surely get clarified when the english edition comes out, and of course I’m getting the english edition ToT. So of the chinese reading I COULD do, if I managed to get myself to read and practice soon, its 50% likely going to be Guardian. Even though I know that’s 30% harder (at Least) compared to a lot of other stuff I could pick. (Oddly I also have all my dmbj volumes out and easily accessible to read right now, however... for some reason reading them in print is WAY harder to me than reading online, even when I’m reading extensively online. I think maybe the dmbj print volumes got edited a bit for more nice writing, which in npss case maybe made it actually higher reading level a little lol? That, or I’m just getting thrown by print font versus digital online font which is certainly possible... watch... I say ‘oh I probably won’t read dmbj’ then I might read yuncun biji tomorrow, who knows. I think a demotivator with dmbj ALSO is it is so easy to read digitally cause if I do run into an unknown word and look it up I learn FAST and difficulty lowers FAST, whereas when I read on paper a lot of ‘easy’ haggling and tomb words confuse me and just guessing them is a lot slower than a quick click-translation clarification once... whereas with priest’s writing its going to be HARD no matter how I read it, so reading it on paper versus digitally doesn’t feel like much of a difference in terms of ‘difficulty either way.’)

So yeah. Check in next month and see if I read any chinese, or absolutely none. 

(In my defense! haha no there is none. Anyway, in my defense! I am doing some japanese review ToT. And I am reading Three Body Problem in english translation right now, which seems unrelated but trust me I’m very into it and the more into it I get the more its going to lead to me listening to the audiobook in chinese later - which is already happening, trying to read bits of it in chinese later, and trying to watch the donghua as soon as that comes out... along with the shows. So in the short term yeah its just english, in the long term its gonna motivate me to study again once I get into the stuff post-books. So like... I’m not doing much study at all... but I did read 400k chinese characters in 2 months, maybe I need a break... maybe its all soaking in... or maybe I’ll try reading again after the break and be real annoyed at myself that I gotta restudy like 500 words lol).

#rant #progress

[foxstens]

lemme just rant bc smth happened and i have Thoughts :(

so last night we were out in the city walking and at one point there was this huge ass crowd going past us bc a football match had just finished in the area

and we were just walking and i was talking abt pasta and at point this group of teenagers passed us and one of them pushed the other so that he bumped into me

i didn’t take it too seriously bc i recently saw some kids playing the same way so i just thought it was an accident but my mom stopped and looked really mad. like she didn’t do anything but later she said she nearly punched the guy

the thing is, these things happen sometimes, though i would’ve assumed they’d stop once i was out of school. but i’ve always had a hard time talking about it with her bc the conversation always goes the exact same way

obviously since i’ve been struggling with this my entire life, at one point i started assuming there was something wrong with me, but she says that’s not the case

then she goes and says she wishes i was ‘stronger’ and more self-confident. i’m like ‘i feel like i’ve changed a lot since i was in school’ but she says it doesn’t show. and when i ask how i can change she says the want to change needs to come from within

and i’m just fricking confused here because 1. that doesn’t help and 2. by saying this she is basically saying that i’m at fault here. and it’s been years since i was first told that i should be more outgoing and more sure of myself but somehow in all this time i’ve not become either of those things

and she always bases this off of her own experiences. she had some light experience with bullying in high school i guess and then she got married and she had me and she had a divorce. then she had a really bad time during which we had to live with my grandparents. and then when she was around 30 yrs old we got an apartment, moved away, and she found a particular partner who basically inspired her to change.

he was extremely supportive and he taught her how to do things for herself and she took her to places she’d never been and yea, he was just a positive influence on our life. but idk how she wants me to change the same way she did when my childhood traumas and life experiences are so very different

i’m 24 rn, i’ve struggled with bullying my entire life, i never had a proper father figure and my grandparents had a substantial influence on my upbringing. the most notable things i’ve done until now were going through 3 years of uni only to never finish it, and getting a job a year ago.

so i don’t know what exactly could inspire me to change the way she wants me to. also saying things like this just makes her look like a hypocrite bc she often says there’s nothing wrong with my personality and that my grandparents are dumb for wanting me to be a different person

BUT THEN AGAIN WHY DO I HAVE TO CHANGE WHEN OTHERS ARE ASSHOLES. she says i should be working to improve myself and that she doesn’t think i am, when in fact i am but not through self-help books or trying to look for friends since i’m more interested in languages and cultures and learning about the world and how to be more open and knowledgeable 

then there’s the fact that, i don’t necessarily want to change. for one despite everything i kind of like my personality, and i feel like so much of who i am is directly due to my traumas and experiences that i don’t know who i’d be without that. and i also don’t feel like there’s a way for me to change naturally any time soon, so if i were to try it’d just feel forced which would definitely backfire spectacularly

but you know, me trying to be different and trying to live up to society’s expectations doesn’t guarantee anything, so why should i. she always says that she’s given up on trying to be what others expect her to be so why is it so wrong when i do the same.

idk it’s just. she says i’m fine the way i am and she loves me as i am but then in a different conversation she says i should change to prevent these things from happening. so?????????? oh and she sometimes says she feels like she can’t protect me or like it’s her fault that i turned out like this and im just

t h a n k s. that’s definitely the most appropriate thing to say WHEN IM THE ONE WHO’S BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE 

also what about other people who have a similar personality and might struggle with similar things. should they also radically change their personality just in case it might help? do they actually not have a place in this world??? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#my posts #read more #long post #my rants #yea im just #barely slept last night bc of this #and then she wonders why i don't really like leaving the house :)

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Vikings + Legos

Summary: here's what would happen if you gave Vikings legos

Notes: based on this request | masterlist | requests are OPEN!

Ragnar

Will use them for strategyTM

Or so he says

His mind goes AJKKADJSDJKHFKJDSGKF LET ME BUILD EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF

The Great Hall becomes filled with buildings

Oh this? Just an improved version of Rollo’s dumb castle in Normandy 🙄

Absolute Lego king

Do not touch them! That’s punishable by death

Lagertha

Mostly annoyed bc she has to clean up the little legos that Ragnar leaves behind

She’s not sure what to do with them but gives them a try

The best at playing lego with kids

Doesn’t mind them after a while, but she always has to swerve around them

Hmm, could I use this as a defense for oblivious attackers? Or is it too cruel to make them step on legos?

It is not

Hedeby becomes very peaceful very quickly

Bjorn

ALWAYS steps on legos

His kids love them

He hates them

Throws legos at people that interrupt him in meetings or so

To him, they’re one of the most dangerous weapons known to man

Torvi is sniggering in the corner

Ubbe

Solid lego builds

Idk I feel like he’s more a Minecraft type of guy if we’re talking blocks

He enjoys playing with kids with finished builds more

Of course he’ll protect them from the dangerous lego dragon that’s *this* close to falling apart

Very careful to keep them away from Hvitserk (you’ll see why)

Hvitserk

Oml (yes, I start my Hvitserk hcs like this a lot. There’s a reason)

He’s the reason why legos are a choking hazard

Swallows two immediately

“I was only trying to get them apart with my teeth!”

Builds very creative stuff

Would go apeshit over lego flowers

Ivar

“So, these Legos, you can build things with them?”

“Yes.” Your queue to present something you made

You will receive a slightly condescending look

Ivar is a lego genius

He’ll build just about anything

They’re not your legos, they’re his legos

Will sort them by color, type and size

Gods forbid you touch them, or he will throw a tantrum

Floki

Finds them very amusing

He actually puts them to good use

Makes little models of his boats

Shares his builds with everyone

Helga gets into legos bc of him

Helga

Two words: lego flowers

She loves them

Puts them on her windowsill

She’s so happy that they don’t die, and when you give her a succulent set?

Tears of absolute joy

God I love this character

Athelstan

“So, you can build things? As in, anything?” “Yes.”

New niche interest (literally, who else has legos except Ragnar)

Expect to not see him for days

Goes into a room, stays there, builds his favorite places, comes out and cries

Absolutely beautiful builds

Like, Ragnar’s are big and Ivar’s are super complicated

But Athelstan’s are… well rounded? Idk they’re just nice

#ragnar #lagertha #bjorn #hvitserk #ubbe #ivar #floki #helga #athelstan #vikings #ivar the boneless #ivar x reader #ivar lothbrok #history vikings #ragnar lothbrok #bjorn ironside #vikings imagine #vikings series #ubbe x reader #hvitserk x reader #ragnar x reader #lagertha x reader