#I felt like crying today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gracieart · 10 months

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You’re seriously going to take drawing requests from A Court of Thought?!? Someone who routinely lies, gaslights, bullies, and blocks Elriels? You were truly one of my fave people on this platform but watching you pander to Eluciens…whew, the respect I’ve lost.

Hello anon. I seem to have upset another one of you.

First and foremost, I am going to draw whatever I want and I'm not going to apologize to you. Let me just get that out in the air.

And for now, we are just going to ignore how you seem entitled to me, my art, my free time, and what I decide to do so we can quickly address your concern here.

I want to preface this by saying I sat on this ask for hours because I was genuinely so confused where this came from. I literally had no idea what you were referring to. I thought ‘A Court of Thought’ was you trying to criticize me for taking art prompts for A Court of Thorns and Roses and that you were saying I do all those things you mention. Which, as you can imagine, made me very sad.

But it finally dawned on me (after one of my friends pointed it out to me) that you were referring to the comment I replied to from the blog ACourtofThought.

After that realization, your comment started to make sense… for the most part.

Now, I have never once spoken to or even heard of this person before they commented on one of my posts. I know absolutely nothing about them. I’ve never even seen one of their posts. But if what you say is true, then you should know there is no possible way I could have even heard of them before, as I have a long list of anti tags blocked and have a strict no negativity policy on all my blogs. If you knew me at all, or if I was one of your favorite people on this platform, as you claim, then you should know that about me at the very least. I make it very very clear I do not deal with that kind of negativity.

And you know, not everyone in this fandom chooses to surround themselves with negativity. I hope you free yourself from this, truly.

I am not upset that you talked down to me, hurt my feelings, and insulted me. No, I’m mostly upset about the fact that you immediately jumped to the worst conclusions about me. The fact is I simply replied to a nice comment I saw on a post I made. That’s it. You saw that and thought “Wow, this woman is siding with this person I really dislike. And she obviously knows exactly who this person is and why I dislike them so much. So how dare she!”

…That is what you thought, am I wrong?

This is unwarranted and out of context. I am not “pandering” to Eluciens. I was simply asking my very kind mutuals, who happen to like that ship, if they had any prompts they wanted me to draw. And I tagged Elucien in that post so it reached other people. I have so many nice and genuine friends on here who ship all kinds of things, and I want to create something that makes them happy too. Is that a crime?

What if I told you I’m the exact same person I’ve always been? What if I told you that all the while I’ve been one of your “favorite people on this platform,” I’ve been doodling Elucien for some of my longest friends. Would you still have had any respect for me left to lose if you knew that all along?

I won’t talk about the ships here. If you want to know about that, go see my response to the other ask I answered yesterday.

When I first saw this ask, I’ll admit it upset me very much. So much so that I couldn’t get anything done for most of the day because I was so sad that someone would say something like this to me. But I’ve had a whole day to think about this, and I’ve come to one conclusion: I really don’t think you had much respect for me to begin with if you are so quick to turn around and talk down to me and insult me after I seemingly did something to offend you.

And if I did offend you, you could have easily just unfollowed me and moved on. But… you chose to go out of your way to insult me. Why?

I am sorry you are stuck in a place where you feel like you have to assume the worst of people. I’m sorry you have found yourself surrounded with so much negativity in this fandom. Fandom is a place for people to come together because they enjoy something, and I am truly sorry you’ve fallen into the part of the fandom that doesn’t comprehend that.

I’ll never begin to understand why people can’t see that kindness is so much easier. But at least I have a lovely circle of friends on here I can fall back on. Friends who have different opinions, who ship different things, or like other stuff. Friends who are in a completely different circle, but are the kindest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met.

Anon, I truly wish for you to find that for yourself. Try surrounding yourself with kind people who like different things. You will be so much happier. Trust me. There are so many nice people out there once you step outside your own circle.

#ask #so thanks #I felt like crying today #gracie answers

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phantomram-b00 · 6 months

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To Hell with you

So, I was listening to songs. And then an epiphany hit me hit me harder than this fixation of the show; what if…the roles were reversed? Like what if Azirapahle first said no to the promotion yet Crowley said yes instead? I think I saw a fanfic that did this (I don’t remember) but I wanted to take a crack at this, and I feel like I want to cry myself so imma do a fanfic of it, hope you enjoy. And if you still haven’t seen good omens season too, this will contain that so uh spoiler warning ahead. Have fun!

Aziraphale was just done talking with Nina and Maggie just a while ago whilst Crowley walk away; while profusely apologizing for the whole ordeal both for last night and overall, they did give him advice on his love life. Something he never thought he could describe it given their status from their opposing side, but he’ve been in love with Crowley since 1941, so the label wasn’t exactly far off. But nothing official, and thanks to their advice, he though maybe they can? Why not? To hell with both parties that been trying to separate them for millennia now they’re on their own side.

“Right! Let me at least tidy this up before he comes” he spoke to himself while he put some books in their respective spots as well covered the symbol on the floor and make sure nothing was out of the ordinary. Oh ironic given their day to day life on earth. As he does so, he start preparing for the talk as he turn the sign on the front to “very closed”

“Okay, so Crowley!” He chuckled as he talks to himself yet again. “There something I must tell you about, I think it been long overdue for the past 6000 years at this point. And I know I’ve told you you go to fast but-“

He shook his head throwing away that thought like a piece of crumbled paper. That won’t do at all.

“Crowley! Wily serpent! I believe there are thing to be discussed about if that all the same to you…” he said as he put the Jane Austen book in order since Gabriel- err Jim decided to put them away separate by the first sentence they start it. Oh how problematic that organization was it nearly discorperated him the second time. “So we’ve known each other for quite a long time, at this point in time we can even guess each other sentences or predict other moves like Agnes Nutter.” He laughs. “W-well, what I’ve been meaning to say is, w-well, remember when I told you you go to fast? Well, I think I want to retract that statement since I think we can go fast, faster than a rollercoaster as Buddy Holly said-“

He again shook his head, and threw that idea away. But he blushes just thinking about Crowley, how he does want them to make it happen finally, been waiting since 1941 or maybe even longer; his mind begin to wonder around, become a habit for him at this point. He began to think about their life, all the time they’ve been together. Always a risk to be together but deep down, Aziraphale would take that risk all day to see Crowley, the one person that didn’t treat him like an annoyance or dare judge him but instead treated him like an equal, the one person that he would rather dine at the ritz and go on many restaurants with, the one person that he would maybe one day want to live with for all eternity. That feel more like heaven in his eyes than the actual place. In retrospect, he wished if it wasn’t for their side that maybe they could been more braver. Or at least he could’ve been. But he had a smile, maybe they can be now? And they can make up for lost time? And maybe one day, they can move into a cottage? Oh he can never be bored of living with him for all eternity. It make him more giddy just thinking about that possibility.

“Crowley!” He started again. “We need to talk, but I think maybe, this would be best suited if we go to St. James park? You’ve always love that place with the ducks. We can get frozen peas. And we can talk as we sit? Or if you prefer, we can dine at the ritz? I can feel an reservation was just open for two” he giggles while hugging the first edition Jane Erye by Charlotte Brontë. “Or maybe, we can talk here, and have drinks? I’ve got an expensive—“

Ding

Aziraphale look at the door and see Crowley back, couldn’t content his smile even if he tries.

“Crowley!” He said putting the book down and walking over to him.

“Angel” said giving him a smile back in return. He take off his glasses to reveal his Sunny eyes. “Listen angel, there something I need to talk to you about.”

“So do I!” He chuckled lovingly whilst look at his sun. “funny how two minds think alike, but I think first I would like to ask you if-“

“Hold that thought for just a moment angel,” Crowley said as aziraphale stopped his laughter. “Listen, Shax and I talked.”

“I’m quite aware, seen you guys had much to talk about despite what the stunt she pulled.” Aziraphale spoke. “Nearly started a war.”

“Right yeah, uh, so, during the talk, she granted me something. And, well, okay cutting to the chase here angel, she want me to be Duke of hell.”

“Oh.” He said taken aback. “Surely you said no didn’t you? I mean you always complained about how they’re the worst and not to mention that they even have a sign on not licking walls? Frankly you saying…”

He stop to look at Crowley face, reading it carefully like it was one of his books. Only this time he does not appreciate this sudden twist.

“Crowley please tell me…” he choked out. “Please..”

“Angel, maybe I can make this right. If I’m Duke of hell-“

“Oh Crowley” he look away running his finger through his white hair. He then lightly laugh. “Please tell me this is one of your devilish jokes you wily serpent!”

“Shax said…she said I can even bring you down to hell with me. We can make hell nicer, no, we can make hell a better. We can even maybe prevent whatever is happening—“

“Ohhhhhh! Crowley I thought you were better than this.” Aziraphale said choking back the tears. “You should be better than that Crowley!”

“Angel—“

“If I didn’t need heaven then it fairly certain that I don’t need hell neither!” He paced around trying to calm himself but avoiding his eyes. “You know Heaven told me to come back to them with a promotion to be supreme angel before this whole Gabriel and I said “no I will certainly not go back to you” and you shouldn’t neither.”

“Well of course you said no angel, heaven are a bunch of self-righteous arseholes and certainly no better than hell I’ll tell you that much.” Aziraphale face continues to be horrified. “But hell, I know hell isn’t the best neither but angel, if you’re by my side, we can make it better.”

“Crowley are you realizing that if hell ends life here on earth it be just as dead as if heaven ended it.” Azirapahle said this time he open the flood gates and tears are streaming down with his voice cracking. “Crowley… tell me you said no.”

Crowley tries his best to choke back his tears too. Seeing his angel distraught was the last thing to see. The last thing he ever wanted to do. He look away from aziraphale feeling his heart growing heavier the more this conversation prolongs.

“Crowley…?” Aziraphale said not even trying to wipe his golden tears away.

“Angel. Maybe I can make an actual difference. I can try to stop it.”

Aziraphale shook his head, he was too shocked yet to upset to form any form of a sentence. His glossy eyes was enough for Crowley to start his water works, he look away once more. Aziraphale turn around and let out a sigh.

“Right guess you got everything out then, it my turn to say my piece—“ despite this, Crowley waited patiently. “We’ve known one another for quite a long time. We’ve been on this planet more than the human that roam on earth. We can always rely on one another and we can or at least I had hoped we trusted each other. We’re on our own side as you said even four years ago at the ritz. To hear those words was more heavenly than what heaven could’ve ever offered to me.” He feel his heart growing heavier. “And I would love it if we—“ he stop again as he feel his tear roll down his cheeks once more. “Crowley, how is it that Beelzebub and Gabriel can go off to Alpha Centauri, the place you yourself have been dying to run off, then we could too right? Just the two of us.” Crowley wanted to smile, but he was too distraught himself to bring himself to do so. “You’ve always said, that we don’t need heaven or hell, they’re toxic Crowley! We can still run like you always said, we can even go to Alpha Centauri with them” Crowley shook his head repeatedly. “We can— what why are you saying what is it?” He said showing curiosity and concern.

“Angel then come with me. I can run it and you can be right by my side. We can make a different please.” Crowley said pleading now. He want to cup his hand on his face wiping away those golden tears, but even when he toke a step, aziraphale toke a step back shaking his head.

“You can’t leave—“ me. “You can’t leave this bookshop.”

Crowley would never want to leave him alone. He would do anything to stop time just to stay in this bookshop for all eternity with him, basking in their love they been so desperately trying to achieve. To listen to angel’s ramble of a book he know he read for the millionth time. To have quality time with him whether it just them drinking wine or even just them holding each other in their embrace while they listen to classical music to bebop as azirapahle would call his taste. But that not what he said did he?

“Oh Aziraphale..” Crowley said giving a sadden smile. “Nothing last forever.” He wanted to kick himself just for saying those fatal words. The words that finally push azirapahle over the edge as now he can’t hold back. He hold his hand in his face as he let it out, just for a moment. Even in that moment, Crowley want to hug him. But he stopped after a moment, as to try to revert back to his calm demeanor.

“No.” He said grabbing his glasses and giving it back to Crowley. “I suppose you’re right about that one.” Crowley look as he see the glasses. Trying to process what he was even doing. “I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.”

He proceed to walk out of his own bookshop.

“Best of luck..” then it hits him. “Angel!” He doesn’t stop walking away. “Aziraphale come back!” Aziraphale turn around, he was completely drained. His angelic happiness is no where to be found in his hazel blue eyes. “Work with me.” He still pleads, even aziraphale let out a sigh as he continues. “To hell..we can be on our side even down there. Doing our own things down there.” Aziraphale wince from that sentence as he look away to avoid his eyes. “I-I need you aziraphale!” He finally said which prompted him to finally look at him. Both their watery eyes met. It felt like time stopped again. Maybe Crowley finally convinced him. Maybe they can be in their side even in hell. Maybe they could make things better. Him and Aziraphale against them—“you have to understand what I’m trying to offer here Angel..”

“Oh I think I know quiet well. Maybe even more than you can Crowley.” He said. But he realize it wasn’t his usual tone. He sounded apathetic. Is this really it? This shouldn’t be. Why does it feel…

“Well. If that the case, is there really anything else to say at this point?” Crowley said as he put on his glasses as his tears starts to appear yet again.

“Listen.” Aziraphale said pointing up. “Can you hear anything?”

“No. Angel what are you trying to…”

“That’s exactly my point. No nightingale.” He said, that was it for him. He feel he can’t hold it back any longer. “You stupid snake. We could have been us.” Aziraphale said emphasizing on the term us. Crowley looked away to let tears run, even closing his eyes to hope it be all over. But then he felt his lapel of his blazer being pull and the feeling of soft lips pressed again his own. His eyes shock open as he see aziraphale. Principality. Angel of the eastern gate. Kiss him. This wasn’t what he expected their first to be, not one where tears are mixing with each others. He wanted it to be more romantic, more on a happier note. One that both can enjoy. Not this. Not when his angel is obviously hurt. Oh Satan, what have he done. He lift his hands couple times but he was able to place his hand behind Aziraphale’s back and kiss back. He felt his head spin around like all the planets he created, can feel like he seeing stars he help create. And here he is, kissing the biggest star he’ve every laid his eyes on.

Soon they pull away from each other, Crowley having to catch his breath, not hiding his cries anymore. Aziraphale just stand there in hope, can this finally convince him? Crowley look at Azirapahle, many emotion can be battling each other, anger, lament, happiness, shocked? Maybe all above.

“I…I…” love you. Do it again. “TO HELL WITH YOU” he wanted to cover his mouth. Why did he let them escape. Where the soap when you need it. Aziraphale let out a silent gasp as golden tears escape him once more.

“I forgive you.” Aziraphale said walking out of the bookshop.

“Wait angel!”

He walks out of the bookshop, he almost push people down, forget for a moment that London can get busy. He look around to try to find him. “Aziraphale! Please, come back!”

No avail. He can’t find him anywhere, no white haired tartan wearing angel. He feel down to his knees.

“What have I done?” He said to himself. His scales emerged feeling intense emotions, he wanted to scream as he feel smoke coming out of him.

“Crowley?” He look up and see Shax. “Right, I take it he didn’t take it well.”

“What do you think?” Shax was gonna talk again before he stop her. He stands up “Right don’t answer that. Let just go.” He said drained. Feeling empty. Betrayed.

“Jolly good. Now I will say, I’ve heard word from upstairs.” Shax said as they walk, Crowley look at her but not in interest but he had to know.

“And what do the holier than thou angel say?”

“Well. Something about ahhh. The second coming as they like to call it. We got a role in this too, so best get a move on” Shax chuckled as she walked as she talked more about this role. Crowley stopped. He turn around just for a moment and see Aziraphale, he was far away about to turn the corner. But he can easily see that he left enough room for him to come with him to walk, the finale plead. He can’t make out what his expression was but it didn’t matter, he look at him one last time. Before he start walking backward and turning back to Shax. Completely disappearing from the crowd. “You know. Pity your boyfriend didn’t come. Me and Furfur were betting on it, guess no matter. We got work to do.” He stopped listen as she went on. He wanted more than anything to just run back to him. He wished he didn’t take this. But part of him felt that maybe he can still try. If not fro earth, for aziraphale. To keep him safe as he try to stop this plan. To stop armageddon from happening once more. Even if that meant he can’t see Aziraphale ever again.

Meanwhile Aziraphale just nodded. Understand this was it. It truly was over. He saw Maggie and Nina walk away holding hands as if God was rubbing salt in his wound. He then see Muriel waving at him in glee. He would’ve wave back in mutual respect but not now. Not today. He just walked away leaving them feeling concern. Aziraphale walked, unsure where exactly he walking to but his feet keep moving so he might as well walk wherever his shattered heart take him. He then heard a radio from one of the stores singing the song. That song meant for them.

Snap

Just like that the song stopped. He continues to walk. Walk as far as he can. As golden tears fall once more.

(Reference for the golden tears and Sunny eyes)

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drawnfamiliarfaces · 1 month

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i... wrote a smol fic (っ´▽`*)っ

also!!!!! If you haven't seen it - shoutout to first ever published fic in Ninja Showdown/My Immortal Soul tags - Lustrous Red by @missadmyre !!!

#ninja showdown #my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #rc9gn #chase young #xiaolin showdown #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #rc9gn plop plop #well i say smol fic.... but those 4k words felt very long.#i did say i was going to direct my energy into writing >.> and now look at me ive gone insane #no actually dont look at me im just gonna go cry over my 20k words of rough drafts for like dozen ideas that are now going #to haunt my every waking moment like JESUS i woke up today and literally wrote out 1k words of an idea for a modern au for those two TToTT #its literally an au where its a meet cute turned meet violent and first is randy's sorta dad and chase wants to adopt omi #not to mention a different AU where its an epic mystery adventure AAAAAAA someone heeeelppppp meeeee #also. its been a month but im still staring so intently at missadmyre's fic hoping for another crumb. like thank you sm for the food!!!!#ive literally been rereading it several times after i went insane about it on my main blog and im still slurping at it like a starved perso #Ive been collecting my ideas like a dragon but after reading that fic i was like: I WANT TO READ MORE FICS ABOUT THEM #but i dont wanna be a whiny baby&beg others and be annoying about it. So i put on my big person pants and was like f it WE R WRITINg NOW #so i dont care how bad my writing will be. we gonna be balling on those ideas and YES it doesnt make sense im just v rambly rn

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tapeworrmart · 2 months

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I'M SICK I'M SICK I'M SO FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD

#Been listening to the cof ost for three days straight end today I somehow got stuck listening to... This song on repeat #And I felt like I couldn't move on until I drew smth for it. So. I'm free now lmao thanks simon #The patron saint of suicide and male loneliness #Cry of fear #Cof #cry of fear simon #Simon henriksson #fan art #art #sketch #character art #horror #gore #Blood #Scars

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butchviking · 11 months

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i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!

#don't get me wrong there are happy and beautiful times! there is wonder and fulfillment!!#but how do u share in the one if u can't share in the other?#i can't walk into work and say #'yesterday all i could think about was which of you would cry if i died #but today i saw a kid pick a flower and it felt like the most beautiful thing that had ever happened'#i don't even talk to my friends like that! it's all 'haha yeah been having a rough week. u know how it is. hbu?'#i feel like im going crazy but i dont believe that! aren't we all feeling this??? is anyone else feeling this??? is this fucking normal????#am i just emotionally closed off?? is everyone else having these conversations am i the stunted one who doesn't know how to talk about it??#i KNOW im living with mental illness but so are a lot of people! im sad sometimes but im not losing my mind! i know other people feel this!!

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brother-emperors · 7 months

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niccolo machiavelli & biagio buonaccorsi

Machiavelli's Service to the Republic, John M. Najemy

eventually I'll read Sasso's writing on Machiavelli, but even reading Najemy's summary of the text with regards to Biagio and Machiavelli's relationship made me feel unwell™ in some kind of way like. even love. what an absolute gut punch pair of words to put in the middle of a sentence. I feel fine about it!! (a lie)

The Life and Times of Machiavelli, Pasquale Villari

AND NOW. regarding the scene. the letter exchanging hands is referencing their correspondence in general, but to also how Biagio was a collaborator to Machiavelli's plans (and a little bit about how some of Machiavelli's works were copied in Biagio's hand)

Machiavelli, Leonardo and the Science of Power, Roger D Masters

and regarding the red panel with the figure getting measured, it's about how Biagio had clothing for Machiavelli made to his own measurements in Machiavelli's absence.

Niccolò’s Smile, Maurizio Viroli

#italian renaisance tag #niccolo machiavelli #biagio buonaccorsi #komiks tag #drawing tag #i had an illustration of milo murdering clodius for today but then i saw there was a poll for it so i'll save it for after the poll closes #god i feel so so so so so so normal about machiavelli and biagio (i do not)#ive always felt a lot about machiavelli but biagio makes me cry. he's just. aughhhhdhgh.#anyway based on najemy's summary of sasso's text i dont think. i agree with what sasso is saying abt their dynamic wrt #to the emotional underworking and biagio overplaying the political threats #as najemy goes to say in his follow up. other people were also warning machiavelli abt the same thing #but biagio's frustrations remind me a lot of maria's complaints as well. it's like. devotion + loyalty + trust. i think are the stronger #ties at play. eugh. EUAHDGHSHSHDGH #im going to listen to the assassins creed 2 soundtrack and be normal about everything now. good night #italian renaissance tag

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saltlog · 9 months

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#※saltlog #-> scribbly thanks orange for the food #-> AU but i can't get the tag suggestion.. more outfits! more hAIR STYLE #-> IDK WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.. i drew for hours and Fast i don't ever draw like thIS!! SOMETHINGS HAPPENING..#-> LIKE LMAO THIS LOOKS completely different to me than my previous post (crying)#-> i get so stiff when i think i see it instantly.. today i felt 0 stiff i did not think i drew #-> not seen: all the dicks i drew around this vash is that it #-> i hope you all realize you follow a log of my crisis since day 1 #-> AU: scifi nonsense

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ishipmutualrespect · 2 months

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What makes Larry even more real to me has always been how management, pr and how Louis and Harry reacted in regards to it. All the boys were shipped together at some point during 1D but it was only ever Larry that their management and pr teams had a huge reaction to. Like for example splitting them up whenever they could, changing narratives, making them awkward around eachother. While the other boys could be humping eachother on stage and laughing about being shipped together. Even Nick used to joke and laugh about the romance rumours with Harry. It’s only Louis and Harry where it became a massive issue. The way they acted about Larry gave it away in the end and became one of the biggest proofs.

Yeah I totally agree with you. Why would you want to hide something if there was nothing to hide?

The thing is they still do in some ways. We know that 1d has a gc so that they talk and chat but we know that only because it’s a gc with them all together. If it was something only between Harry and Louis we would never know about it. Louis likes Liam’s posts, Niall’s posts and Niall and Liam do the same with him. EVEN with Zayn, we all know the problems but how many times has Louis liked Zayn’s posts now? And everyone is super happy about it when it happens. But with Harry? They don’t interact, don’t like the posts, don’t do anything that could lead anyone thinking they were in a boyband together (at the very least). And it fits the narrative if you want because they hated each other right? But we KNOW they don’t hate each other and it’s only for the narrative because honestly:

Who would wear a broken wedding bracelet on their bag, many months after said wedding, if it wasn’t important?

Would you react like this if your enemy was lost in the bathrooms?

Would you reach between your enemy’s legs?

Would you just do this eye flirting (and this is me being nice)?

Also here are some of Louis’ reaction when asked about Harry:

- Louis being asked about Harry being in Italy at the same time

- Louis being asked about Harry’s haircut (the first time when they had a similar haircut)

- Louis panicking about being asked about Harry’s buzzcut

Anyways at least we know that they have a realtionship of mutual respect 😊

#just have to deal with this #and see the eventual reactions everytime something like this happens #☺️🥰#I just felt like putting a bit of good things together #also Shari is making me cry for a video I’m editing for her so yeah I’m a bit emotional today

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subarashiihibi · 3 months

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my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

#my media literacy suddenly skyrockets when it comes to izaya #anything else im like zzzzzzzzzz as soon as its time to talik abt izaya im like I'M UP !!!! 💯💯💯💯#but ya this isnt meant to be like anything crazy or nothing i just felt like talking abt izaya and some stuff in particular i found amusing #sorry if i sound stupid in some spots im trying not to just add 20 skull emojis or crying emojis and make fun of him #it's either that or im trying not to sexualize him #it's a battle. it's prety hard.#theres a REALLY easy joke i could make there but im not going to . im gonna be mature .#ok sorry thats all i dont have enough energy to think anymroe #i started new meds today and my heartds feeling a little funny so imight die after posting this</3

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