#I guess lol it pains me to use that ship term
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Smut prompt 41, please! ❤️
"(if you like it) we can go all night..."
Probably a T/borderline M for suggestiveness (and making out)
In-Panem A/U.
Katniss stumbled over the tree root that had made the mistake of bursting from the dirt in the middle of the path leading from town to the Seam. She wobbled on her feet, but strong arms caught her and held her against his chest before she fell ass-first on the ground.
"Careful," Peeta Mellark told her, and for some reason, his admonition was simply hilarious. She let herself tumble against his chest, giggling.
He sighed under his breath and muttered something about preferring she was sober for this, and that just set her to laughing all over again. The whole night was too absurd to be believed.
There was no reason for her to be so clumsy, even in the dark. She used this path almost daily. Katniss was light on her feet, graceful. But tonight, she'd attended her first town dance, Twelve's unofficial entry to adulthood and freedom from the Reaping. And now? She was drunk.
She'd never been drunk before, and she hadn't meant to be tonight. How was she to know the punch was laced with white liquor? Yeah, she’d noticed the way it burned down her stomach and had an inkling, but when it settled warm and pleasant in her belly she decided not to think about it too hard. She felt looser and lighter and, for the first time in her life, let herself chase that feeling. Unfortunately, too much left her too loose and too light to get home on her own.
Thank goodness she'd run into Peeta Mellark near the rec hall doors. Literally.
She giggled, smothering a snort in her open palm.
"How are you doing, drunkie?" Peeta asked when she didn't move, sounding amused.
"Great. Good. Wonderful." She never talked this much. Why didn't she talk this much? It was so nice talking to him. "Just a little wobbly on my feet. Thanks for holding onto me. Do you know something? You're too good. And nice. And you smell so good." She had the urge to laugh again but thought maybe she was doing too much of that. "I like talking to you."
"Good to know," he said. "I was just wondering if I needed to carry you home."
"No, no. I can walk," she said. Maybe she was lying, though, because she didn't move.
"Are you sure?" He prodded. “Because we’re not moving.”
"Yes! Maybe. I mean, I can walk." She shrugged. "But I kind of like your arms around me. I could do this all night."
She really didn't know why she did it. Maybe because he was so solid and warm, and it was the boy who'd spent seven years staring at her in school but never talked to her until offering to get her home tonight. The only one who’d helped her when she needed help. He’d never asked her for anything. And there was something so baffling but attractive about his kindness. She was realizing how much she liked this sort of warmth, the kind that made her heart feel safe, so she tipped her chin up and kissed him under his jaw.
He sucked in a sharp breath. Her lips lingered against his skin; she felt his pulse pick up. She liked that, liked knowing she could get a reaction out of him. "Katniss. Don't kiss me like that because you're drunk."
She didn't stand on her toes and wrap her arms around his neck, brushing her lips against his because she was drunk. She did it because she liked him a lot and finally had the courage.
"I don't want to take advantage of you," he said.
But his actions were in contrast to his words. His arms tightened around her waist, and he pulled her snugly against his body. His muscles were taut, but she sensed he liked what they were doing. Liked her attention, the way she ran her fingers through his hair, how she pressed her breasts against his chest daringly.
"So don't," she said, cocking her eyebrow in challenge.
Her nerves buzzed and tingled, the sensation rolling through her limbs and stomach and between her legs when he groaned, slanting his mouth over hers.
"Am I dreaming?" he asked as she climbed up his body and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her added weight didn't affect him in the least; he made a cradle with his arms under her hips and ass to support her against his chest. He was firm, muscled everywhere, and something hard pressed against the inside of her thigh, making her body ache.
"Told you I could get around just fine," she said, laughing under her breath before locking her arms around his neck and kissing him again. His lips were soft. Hot.
"We're going to get caught," he breathed, forehead pressed against hers, his warm breath fanning her face. "Someone could walk by any moment. We should stop."
"I don't want to," she said. "If you like it, we could go all night."
He laughed harshly. "Do you even know how that sounds? Don't tell me that. It gives me ideas."
"Maybe I'm getting ideas too."
He pulled away, studying her thoughtfully. Then, with one last soft press of his lips to hers, he sat her on the ground and stepped back a little. It left her confused and hurt. "Don't you want..."
"You have no idea. The effect you have on me. It's just," his eyes were pleading with her in a way she didn't understand. He reached for her hands, rubbing his slightly calloused thumbs against her palm. The action mollified her a little.
He blew out his breath like he was stealing himself for a negative response. "Katniss. I really like you."
"Why did you stop?" she asked, hating the whine in her voice.
"If I hadn't, we would have done something you'd regret later. Or if not you, then me. Don't get me wrong. There's so much I want to do with you. But you've been drinking, and I want to know this," he squeezed her hand, "means something. That's all."
She thought about arguing with him. But she didn't. Instead, she sighed in resignation. Because as much fun as doing something impulsive and crazy with him tonight would be, he was probably right. "You're not to go back to not talking to me, right?"
He smiled. "No. Absolutely not. I've waited a long time for all-night things with you. I want to stay up all night and watch the stars. Talk to you all night. Kiss you all night. As for the rest," he looked at her, raking his eyes up and down her body, obviously struggling against his baser instincts.
She couldn't help laughing nervously at the hungry look in his eyes, remembering how his hardness felt pressed against her, his heated kisses.
"Don't laugh at me! You started this."
"I'm not laughing," she insisted, grinning despite herself.
They walked the rest of the way to her house in contented silence, holding hands. He kissed her goodnight on the front step, promising to come to see her again as soon as he could. And that was pretty good, too.
#endlessnightlock writes#everlark#everlark fanfiction#everlark drabble#peenis#I guess lol it pains me to use that ship term#idk inexperienced smut to me involves a lot of fooling around#they don't need to dive head first into f-ing each other's brains out
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answering ASKS
she probably needs some help from the captain on how to use a lot of things, and scrunchies are no exception...
↓ more asks under the cut!! ↓
UHH i mean... i guess it's always had a bit of darkness at the corners? pom is a monster in this au. she's a wraith. she was not born with empathy or kindness.
also, if you've been following this blog for a while, you'd know that i'm not one to shy away from topics like death or trauma or whatever. i'm not constantly shoving angsty things in the narratives i make but i'll sprinkle a little in there for fun teehee
i use "human" as a generic catch-all term for all of the alien species, like hocotatians, koppaites, giyans, whatever. mostly because i'm lazy 😭 and because actual humans or humanity will almost guaranteed never be relevant in any of the art or stories i make
i do! if anyone wants to talk to me on discord feel free to send a dm. although, and i mean this in the nicest way possible, i'm an adult and i'm only gonna share my discord with other adults
UHH i hadn't really thought about it. i'm often in that PIMIN discord server, and i got a little pom wraith section in there so i guess that'd count
if a wraith wants to eat you, it'd be a mercy for it to kill you first. being alive and having your flesh, tissue, muscles and bones fizzled away into biomass is an agonizing process. you are being eaten alive after all. hopefully the pain knocks you unconscious quickly...
AHH thank you!! you'll have to love her from a distance, because if you get too close she'll just eat you
HELP I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THIS ASK IS IN RELATION TO AHHHH
you're welcome💖
corbin didn't have to eat anyone! he's half human, so he naturally develops a human "disguise". he visually takes after dingo quite a lot lol
please don't send me asks like this. i love ships in general and i'm a big fan of dinyon, but i dont support putting down other ships for any reason. if you really want dinyon that bad, you can wait until i draw and post some at my leisure, wait until i'm taking requests, or ask a different artist
purbl...
thanks for reading this far, and thank you everyone for the asks!!💖💖
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Trigun Stampede episode 7 liveblog
Man I said this two-parter is really focused on Wolfwood, but this episode has his name as the title
Oh I see the destination is an additional threat to him. Huh. I wonder what the purpose of that is? Like just to mess with him, or to make the journey seem appropriately menaced, or what?
I didn't notice before, but it is incredibly funny that the letters front and center are B and L
I feel like half of Wolfwood's gun is like ammo storage lmao, he goes through that fast
Oh actual emoting from Livio! Not looking particularly cognizant, but it's something.
Oh there's Meryl and Roberto! Would not have figured that's how they managed to tag along, but if it works it works haha
The boing noises as the desert raiders are thrown around are fantastic
Vash is wielding his gun, backhand, like a blunt weapon. Possibly as a gauntlet idk. Still. Makes sense for him, but not something I've ever seen before lol
Mmmmhmm and now the "monsters" and "not human" assertions are being foiled.
Between Livio and Rollo, seems like they kinda get stuck on a single sentiment?
"It would have been better without you around" ...ah. I did not expect that and don't know how to respond to it.
Wow, uh. I mean we knew Vash was incredibly accurate at aiming before, but to redirect someone else's gun to land a clean shot (particularly one that has as much heft as Wolfwood's) is rather uncanny.
that method of getting another Worm actually made me gag ugh.
wait hold up what was happening with Livio's reflection. I don't think I recognize it?
Eef. Thought that was how it'd end, but didn't expect him to shoot and fall over the side. (I suppose it's possible that the 'if there isn't a body, they're probably not dead' rule applies here though)
"I just wanted to spread the good word. That's all." You know I think this does in fact hold true to the, uh. Real world weight? That this sort of phrase carries.
Okay this is the first we've heard of a topic that Wolfwood apparently has disagreements with the Eye of Michael over. ...Actually that was on an assumption that it's a decision on an action, not a religious thing. It's Wolfwood's initial verbal disagreement on religion, isn't it.
Switched to Eng dub for a second 'cause I wasn't sure who said the next couple lines, but yeah I think it's clearer that it's about Wolfwood's denial.
Wait speaking of that's also a Christian term too right. Like Judas denies Jesus or something? I know the term is used in relation to those two in particular but I don't actually know the specifics. It's like "one of you will deny me" or "one of you will betray me" and I don't remember which.
Not sure if that really matters in this case, though, since I don't think Bluesummers quite maps to Jesus lol. Anyways.
Okay yeah "Punisher" is definitely being used in relation to Wolfwood himself. Noted.
Lmao the "Hi!~" being in English really sold it
Ooh, worldbuilding. Spacefaring age, okay.
Wait if they're running around to all the controls, where are the people originally driving the ship?
Yay, character exploration and development from Meryl! (and Roberto to a lesser extent)
Oh wait the kid that fell in the first town is alive?? I guess I saw him moving a bit at the end there, but it was a long fall and I thought maybe it was his mom's movements while carrying him.
:0 Vash's arm fractured! Frankly I didn't know it could do that. That's not good.
Oh lmao it's the disproportionate response "Wolfwood..." that kept being memed on.
Oh NOW the title comes up!
Actually wait I saw something on this a while ago, too. They were talking about he asserts he's "the Punisher," then "Nicholas the Punisher," and then the framing basically hits him with a "no :)" That's so funny. Also kind of tragic. But still funny.
Oh hey this is the first time we've seen Vash in this sort of situation since he was a 'plant technician' in the first episode.
it can move in there!?
oh that looks really painful
it's humanoid already!?
maybe I leaned too far into the "oh it's kind of egg shaped" assumption lol
Oop, yep, I guess Livio's not dead. Or uh. Might be dead but isn't out of the picture?
Alright yeah Vash looks pretty out of it.
...was that him hitting the ground? oof.
End Notes:
Again not really much to say here! We got some character details, some worldbuilding details, lots of character development & solidification of relationships, and now some immediate threads to be followed up on (Vash's arm and the Plant reveal thing). Feeling much more invested than when I started the series and interested in seeing how this conversation goes!
I will say. The plant did not look uh. very intimidating. kind of reminds me of the... neopets fairies? I don't think that's right, but like some similar franchise kind of had similar vibes, shape-wise.
...is this the first time the Plant stuff got fully revealed in the show? I went in knowing and haven't been keeping track. I know it was established that Vash is a) non-human b) fell from a spaceship onto the planet and c) had 'relatives' in pods on said spaceship. Not to mention his twin also having pretty obvious markings. But I'm curious about the reasons for the pacing of these reveals, since we got so much of Wolfwood's backstory just last episode.
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supernatural s7e2 hello, cruel world (w. ben edlund)
HALLUCIFER
Right. You think this fruit-bat fever dream is reality? You come back, I'm sorry, with no soul like some peppy American Psycho, till Saint Dean glues you back together again by buying you some magic amnesia. You’re real. I’m very real. Everything between is what we call set dressing.
heart is breaking for sam already
HALLUCIFER
You’re still in my cell. You’re my bunkmate, buddy. You’re my little bitch, in every sense of the term.
in general i am overly literal and what i see is what i get when it comes to show canon but i'm trying so hard to hold tight to the illusion in my mind that hell-torture for sam and dean didn't involve rape but they're making it really fucking hard. there's been other references, i think one in the last ep no less. just keep thinking to myself "gloss over it, they're just being edgy, they don't actually mean it". i start to get real upset if i think about it so yeah.
i know i'm wearing the wincest goggles but again i feel like i am capable of picking up what a show is putting down regardless of a ship i might be invested in, but i feel like i'm losing it with cas and dean's relationship level. i feel like we have seen so little of cas in general, that they keep TALKING about how they're all close but we've seen so little of it?? i'd think with 22 episodes a season they'd have room to establish this onscreen 🥴 but here's dean crying over presumed-dead cas. i guess i'm just gonna have to go with it and stop complaining about sHoW doN't TeLL
god what is this weird music transition into the doobie brothers black water - just because the lyrics work does not mean the music does :P hard left turn after mushy dead cas scene. i fear i have slipped into overly critical mode
short and gruff version of hannibal tending will graham's wounded hands post-tier
i get that dean's freaked out and scared but he's being such an asshole to sam
what an exceptionally cruel hallucination they're giving sam. i might need to look up how long he deals with this before it gets fixed because.....
DEAN
Yeah, well. I’m not Sam, okay? I keep my marbles in a lead friggin' box. I’m fine. Really.
big fat fuck you, dean. you can't out tough psychosis.
BOBBY
Of course. Yeah. You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you're fine.
one of the best friends you ever had. ok. O K. (nevermind how depressingly in-the-basement-low the bar is being the number of people he could call friends he's had)
looks like bobby's computer got an upgrade! seems untitled 1 and 2 desktop has made it to the actual desktop 😂
s6e4 weekend at bobby's his 3.1 desktop LOL
okay so hell politics, heaven politics, the clear next step is purgatory politics. who is the boss of the leviathans *pulls out the org chart* (god i just don't care)
sam's hallucinating dean now, great. do not like
DEAN
This is real. Not a year ago, not in Hell, now. I was with you when you cut it, I sewed it up! Look!
little gift to wincest kink writers everywhere, dean helping sam by inflicting pain
DEAN
Hey. I am your flesh-and-blood brother, okay? I’m the only one who can legitimately kick your ass in real time. You got away. We got you out, Sammy.
DEAN
Believe in that! Believe me, okay? You gotta believe me. You gotta make it stone number one and build on it. You understand?
SAM
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
dean looks like he might fall over he's so relieved.
DEAN (on phone)
You cannot be in that crater back there. I can’t… If you’re gone, I swear, I am going to strap my Beautiful Mind brother into the car and I’m gonna drive us off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good! Now you said you’d be here. Where are you?
well this is awful. first hallucifer encouraging sam to kill himself repeatedly and now dean saying this. also do not like.
(also very serious things happening and then that cheesy ass special effects on the leviathan's face -_-)
the winchesters getting an ambulance and going to the hospital for an injury, wonders never cease.
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this is freya's "after dark" blog. it's both for general use and for self shipping. mostly self shipping.
i am a LESBIAN and so are all of my f/os
my pronouns are it/its or none
do not send asks/dms to flirt or sext with me. i'm not interested.
if you're writing something for me as one of my f/os or giving me a scenario to think about, absolutely never write them referring to me as a whore, a slut, or anything else similar. being called or even alluded to being called those terms is extremely triggering to me
the above said if u ever DO send me writing/imagines... i am a sub stone bottom/pillow princess femme- i am NOT comfortable with being dominant at all, extremely iffy on topping
i have a very complicated relationship with sex due to religious trauma and general self hatred. and i'm also sex repulsed sometimes. i'm trying to get better though!!
i'm into a lot of things and regardless of my personal comforts i don't particularly care what others are into (with a few exceptions)
DNI: t.erfs, p.roship, cishet men, minors, ageless blogs, fat fetishists*, ageplay, raceplay, i.rken x child. non self ship are on thin fucking ice.
* if you're a friend and/or are fat yourself and you have a fat fetish you can follow i don't mind, it's just a personal discomfort to me.
thanks for respecting my boundaries óvò
content warnings/what i'm into below, please tell me if you need me to tag anything!
somnophilia
free use
lactation/breast feeding (both ways!)
breeding (NO pregnant even if Words are said there's no pregnant ever)
monster/robot/alien stuff. u know my f/os lol
predator/prey dynamic
blasphemy kink (i'm an angel always and sometimes an angel nun in my thoughts)
very light blood stuff. mostly from things like biting. fangs <3 (which is funny bc none of my f/os are vampires and only 3 of them have sharp fangs BUT ANYWAY—)
rough stuff in general. dubcon may show up due to the nature of what i like but i prommy that even in my fantasies there is consent happening, i love check-ins n stuff <3
light bdsm i guess?? like, mostly involving restraint, no extreme pain stuff
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Get to know me
what’s your phone wallpaper : It's a piece of Shura (Yu Yu Hakusho) sleeping while cuddled in Sesshomaru's (Inuyasha) mokomoko. Why? Just RP things. Why that piece in particular? The composition worked well with the way I have all my apps situated on my phone.
last song you listened to: Uhhh I honestly don't remember, but it was something on the radio. I can barely be trusted to remember what I had for breakfast, much less remember what I listened to last.
currently reading : I read so many manga/manhua/manhwa that it's wild to consider me making a list of what i'm currently reading.
last movie : Ehh--- I think it might've been 'The Legend of Hei'? Tenka, confirm? Deny?
last show : I'm going to answer in terms of a show that I recall watching from start to finish and not just me randomly going 'I want to rewatch that episode again'. In this case: The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting' is the last show I recall watching.
what are you wearing right now : Uhh... basically homewear, I guess?
piercings / tattoos? : I'm allergic to pain, so neither, but I've seen a lot of cute earrings and it had me considering. I don't think i'd ever do a tattoo because they're permanent and that's a huge commitment to make. I'd have to think forever about a design, a meaning, a location, an artist, etc. It's a lot of pressure for me to think about. I would take too long to think of something and it's just not worth it. This is why I never touched Animal Crossing, because I knew i'd just take too long just analyzing everything and needing everything to be JUST RIGHT. So, if the question was a preference kinda question, i'd be more likely to go for a piercing.
glasses ? contacts?: Glasses. I can't really do contacts. That said, my glasses normally sit atop the top of my head like overqualified headbands. My prescription safety glasses at work have been used for their actual purpose more than my actual glasses. I've gone to the movies countless of times and went: ah-- I forgot my glasses. I'm dumb, yes.
last thing you ate? : The menu said 'chicken noodle' and it was under 'noodle and soups' so I assumed it was chicken noodle soup. I was wrong. idk what it actually is. I just know it's chicken noodle'.
favorite color(s) : Pink. Purple and black are close seconds. In terms of favorite colors from a sentimental/nostalgic reason: Jungle green and eggplant purple for dA RP shipping reasons.
current obsession : I don't think I have an obsession at the moment. IF I did, i'd be so gungho about it that you'd probably not see/hear me for quite some time. I'm currently just living every day like i'm a floating plank of wood on a calm ocean surface. My last obsession was... I think... watching a particular streamer I really liked. To be very subtle, he is known for using a sprout in Among us. Pretty sure that's right. Prior to that my obsession was the 'Trash of the Counts Family' novel until the licensing got pulled. Before that was the 'The King's Avatar' novel.
favorite fictional character : Oh man... I love so many. Haru Miura truly has a very special place in my heart. Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho was such a big thing for me when I was younger. Don't get me started on how I was very into Tokuchi Toua (one outs) or Hiruma Youichi (Eyeshield 21). Shout out to Tatsumi Takeshi (Giant Killing) and Tsubaki Daisuke (Giant Killing). Gintoki (Gintama) truly was a time where my friends thought if I'd marry anyone, it would be him. I'd find a way to crossover to another dimension and marry him lol. This is really just me talking about past obsessions, yes.
Tagged by: @zcitgcistcr
Tagging: I don't tag.
#Tagged meme#Zcitgcistcr#((Suddenly I'm reminded that I should try to rewatch Giant Killing again and actually get back into Gintama))
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After the last few season of GoT (and the *last* season in particular, but let's not even mention that. I got horrible eyestrain trying to figure out who the fuck was actually getting killed fighting the White Walkers in Winterfell and even that wasn't quite as physically painful as the season's plot) I sincerely thought I wouldn't be able to enjoy any of its spinoffs. I only gave HoTD a chance because I really liked Matt Smith in Doctor Who.
Two episodes in, and I'm actually having a good time and being cautiously optimistic for the future of the series. And shipping Daemon/Rhaenys. And Matt Smith's basically proclaimed himself the captain of the ship! I love how much thought he seems to have put into his vision of them. And I love how he totally went with the "asshole to the world, soft to his girl" take!
I know Rhaenys isn't going to be the only woman in Daemon's life, and isn't the only one even at this point (even if Mysaria might have an inkling that there might be something between them, and not be bothered by it? I know Daemon's supposed to have a thing for deflowering virgins in general... but talking to him about silver-haired virgins in particular in the first episode sure was suggestive, even if in context it was probably just meant to be foreshadowing and not Mysaria consciously if implicitly saying "I know you like her and that's fine by me"), but I really like the special bond between them right now.
HOTD will need to stick the landing and end well before I think any of us can really relax about it. Even though HOTD has new leadership, the kinds of decisions that ruined GOT are still possible. But so far so good, more or less.
Unfortunately, the ship not going to be everything we want in an incest ship, but the show seems to enjoy the relationship and seems to want to depict it in a positive light so that might be the most we can hope for. I'm not familiar with the source material - I need to read Fire and Blood but I haven't - but I remain cautiously optimistic that this will be a good thing and not, in the future, a bitter regret.
I had the same thought about that scene when Mysaria was suggesting that Daemon might want a different girl that night, and then goes on to describe someone just like Rhaenyra.
And she was looking at him like she knew.
They clearly love each other as uncle and niece and that's enough for me. Within their family, that's meaningful enough for me to be having a good time.
Anon from the Daemon/Rhaenyra ask: ... I mixed up Rhaenyra and Rhaenys the whole time there, didn't I? Of course I meant Rhaenyra. I keep mixing those two up! I usually can keep my Daemons and Aemons and Aegons and Aenyses and Aeryses straight, but Rhaenyra and Rhaenys somehow keep confusing me, lol. I guess it might be because Rhaenyra in HoTD reminds me a lot of Daenerys in GoT, a bit in terms of character and attitude but actually more in terms of costumes and hairstyles, so I keep unconsciously smooshing their names together... and the result is poor Rhaenys getting her name taken from her after her crown!
I've heard hard core book fans making that mistake, or not being sure. I still have to check to make sure I've picked the right name. I really do think Rhaenyra's similarities to Daenerys are causing a lot of the confusion.
#asks#daemon and rhaenyra: commentary#daemon and rhaenyra#commentary#noiv#nr#house of the dragon#asoiaf#r: un#canon
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For the Ask game Im a few hours late too
(idk your writing, but it still)
L U M B E R J A C K
(with the a, pick your fav fic)
L: What’s the weirdest AU you’ve ever come up with?
uhhh..... parody of invader zim except dib can say fuck? i don't make a lot of AUs (okay, i do, but they're mostly related to crossovers via dimensional travel, and i don't think that just the crossover itself counts as weird enough)
U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.
i don't really write romance (since i just... don't ship a lot of characters and also i have no idea how neurotypical alloromantic relationships work because my partner and i are both autistic and aspec) but... it would be pretty cute to write a philza/kristen oneshot (from dream smp), and also badass because one of them is the goddess of death
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
hm... a chosen one story, except that the prophecy was planted by the villain and isn't true. the chosen one lives their entire life being trained and living a specific way in order to fulfill the terms, but then in their "final confrontation" with the villain, the villain reveals the plot and kills them because they are like. 14 and the villain has endless more experience and strength than they do. but the chosen one has an earpiece or the rest of their friends are standing just outside the door or something like that, so everyone finds out that the villain planned all of this so that no one would try to start a revolution, and they band together and defeat the villain. it's an allegory for waiting for someone else to stand up instead of building community and using the power of a group to get a better future
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
the emotion of having to choose between an entirely unfamiliar but better future, versus the painful past that's all you've ever known (which is a theme of several of my wips, including one that is actually available to the public) is, i suppose, an experience i've had often
E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?
well i've. never actually finished any fics aside from a singular oneshot, and also i have no idea how most of them would end, but I guess... Children of Chaos's sequel would be a bunch of interconnected oneshots about various characters meeting or getting up to shenanigans with their alternate multiverse doubles, if i go through with the ending that i'm 60% sure i want to do
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
yes, Multiverse Glitches by UniverseGlitch was a huge influence on the tone of Children of Chaos, I love the style of crack with a more serious undertone that UniverseGlitch writes... there are various other writers that have influenced various wips, but no one else that I've specifically taken note of, except for harrish6 who is the widely credited creator of "fgod" (forced god of destruction) Error Sans. if comics count, i would say that CrayonQueen's Christmas Party AU was pretty influential in giving me my "Underswap Sans is terrifyingly adorable and adorably terrifying" agenda
A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?
Children of Chaos was just... you know, they get turned into children, they are agents of chaos (though not literally Chaos-chosen, which is a thing in the fic), i was like 12 when i came up with the name but to be fair my wip-naming skills have not improved and actually might have gotten worse
C: What character do you identify with most?
oh, that's a tough one... there are a lot of characters from many different fandoms that i've seen a part of myself in, but none in particular who i'd say i identify the most with
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
i like reading angst, but thinking of and writing it does notttt come naturally to me lol, so nothing off the top of my head
#also i dont really mind if it's after a few hours?? that's not late at all#late would be like#2 or 4 days after i reblogged it#not 2 or 4 hours#/lighthearted#and im always happy to get asks
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Okay I have a couple more now. Vortex/Dead End & 2) The song that plays when they realize they like each other and Megatron/Optimus with 21) where Megatron realises he wants to hatefuck Optimus and then Megatron/Soundwave for 17) Your ship commits a crime (i.e., heist, bank robbery, arson, what have you.) What song plays as they outrun the police?
oh my god. jeegoo has anyone told you you're a genius lately
For Vortex and Dead End- this is another one I think has to happen two different ways, because I can't see them approaching a relationship the same way. Vortex is here to press buttons and be a menace, and Dead End is just looking for something to liven up the endless tedium of his life and make his everpresent awareness of his own and everyone else's mortality slightly more bearable.
So from Vortex's end: Modern Day Cain by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME because I can't find a song that's like "oops the game got a little too real" and i don't want to go back two and a half thousand songs in my library lmfao. This song is like "I lie about what bad things I do to make sure that the actual bad things I do get ignored and i sound hot", but it's a very self-aware song, and the minute the game gets a little too real I think that kind of is how you start thinking about it. Not "lol, they're dancing to my tune" but ".......shit, they're dancing to my tune, i'm getting close to this emotionally so i'm THROWING IT OBVIOUSLY" lmao.
and from Dead End's: Soul Diver by Thank You Scientist, which is actually a really not happy song at all, but I don't think Dead End actually wants to be In Romance. And definitely not with Vortex. The lyrics of this song are like, things are bad, we move on, i need to move on, it doesn't matter that i don't want this because it doesn't mean i don't need it. straight up the bridge goes
"Through all the worry and pain we move on
And though the hurt remains we move on
It's feast or famine
You decide
The walls are closing faster
Through holy wars we're fast asleep
Understanding self-defeat
Was it worth it after all?"
which like i know it's not actually someone going "oh, having a romance with this person will only hurt them and also me and i can't pull back out of this tail spiral", but it's also not... not about that.
The worst part is that I don't think this would look any different to anyone who isn't Dead End, either. They'd just see him avoiding Vortex and then going back to Vortex and then trying and failing to avoid Vortex and moping and be like "yeah that's our Dead End, mopey to the last"
- Alternately, for a slightly nicer version (SLIGHTLY), ANTILIFE by The Anix could also work pretty well for this. "i wanna give up all our fear, tear us all apart, you are anti-life, and I'll fall into your black light". Depends what you think Dead End is getting out of this, I guess.
-
For the MegOP Hatefuckening I actually have a song for this because my god they don't just have hatefucking, they have like absolutely ridiculous hatelust, and I think it's the kind of ridiculous hatelust that you don't realize, it just creeps up on you. One day you're ranting about Optimus to your captive subordinate audience and you realize that you've gotten weirdly poetic and almost sweet about how you want to dominate and control and take over and command and destroy and oh fuck you want to fuck him, huh. and then you're just like yeah okay i want to fuck him, it's not even a thing you have to get over because it's just been a thing for the last like two hundred years and you just hadn't put a name to it lmfao.
So that's the cover of Possession by Sarah McLachlan done by Evans Blue that i've been listening to and zoning out about MegOp noncon to since I was in high school lmfao. This may be softer than you're expecting honestly, at least in terms of lyrical content, but I think if it weren't just like "oh i want to defeat him on the field of battle and then take what i want from his unwilling frame" then it wouldn't be noteworthy, lol. it has to be enough to be A Surprise. A Realization.
I guess Cold (but I'm Still Here) would be the opposite one, and that one was also in heavy rotation when I was listening to this song and drawing megatron and optimus killing each other in my notebooks lmao, so that's the other one. for when optimus realizes he wants to hatefuck megatron So Badly. (Alternately- this one makes a good deadlock/megatron ship song.)
but like. IDW chaos theory. in the context of this bit:
"Can you feel my trigger hand, moving further down your back?
When you hide, hide inside that body
But just remember that when I touch you
The more you shake, the more you give away"
If nothing else, you cannot tell me that doesn't work for IDW op's whole deal
-
MEGASOUND HEIST HEIST HEIST HEIST HEIST HELL YEAH HELL YEAH this fucks
okay the song for this one is Ringin' In My Head by Black Stone Cherry and I'm imagining early decepticon activities rather than a proper heist but. but. imagine. "i got a ringing in my head, the whole world's been shaken, by the time they find us dead, they got a ringing in their heads" and it's just a montage of megatron and soundwave breaking in, busting heads, taking energon and fucking off. You could even end it with a version of the g1 "shooting orion in the chest and robbing his worksite" plot with soundwave in tow, it'd be so much FUN. they're just vibing along. doing a ton of murder
You can find the question list here :D
#red replies#jeegoo#music ask game#i'm having SO MUCH FUN#sorry this took so long i cannot not write an essay about why i chose the songs lmfao
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RNM Season 4 Episodes 1-2
I just finished watching episode 2 of season 4 of Roswell New Mexico, and honestly, I’m really enjoying the new season so far.
Fav parts right now:
Every scene with Cam! I am so happy to have her back this season!
Arturo for two episodes straight! It just makes me smile to see him on the screen.
I actually am enjoying Michael's little relationship panics and that multiple characters are giving him pep talks to help him overcome them. Because all of these little panics aren't actually about Alex or his feelings for him. They're all about Michael's past traumas and learning to overcome them. Even the console was about clinging to the past and the dream that helped him get through it. About learning to let that go and believe in the future he is building with Alex here and now.
And can we just pause a moment and consider the fact that Michael took a wooden model made of popsicle sticks and toothpicks to the location of his secret alien lab to try to fix it? Like, no really, think on that for a moment. And tell me it isn't absolutely adorable.
So, yes, Malex scenes were all A+ for me.
On the other hand:
Echo, eh it's Echo. Max has improved since first season, but he's still low on my scale of characters. So, I’ll never be a huge Echo fan. Though I can already feel the itch to add another piece to my comparison of Science Bros parallel character journeys in RNM for this season. But I'll wait at least a few more episodes for that.
Honestly, I am disappointed in them having Max propose to Liz and not vice versa. I still feel that with their personalities and character journeys, it would make more sense for her to be the one to propose to him. But that's my hang up.
I could ship Isobel and Anatsa - I could. There's definitely chemistry and possibilities in their scenes together. Also, letting Anatsa have scenes outside of their relationship - like with Kyle at the hospital - goes a long way towards making her a more complete character and less of a “love interest” character. That said, I saw the writing on the wall last season. They were never going to have this relationship last, so I just can't bring myself to enjoy it much.
I'm not fond of temporary romances in fiction to begin with. To me they're usually a waste of time that could be spent developing other romantic or platonic relationships. Plus, there is rarely a reason to allow yourself to get attached to the temporary love interest because they are almost always taken out of the story the moment the relationship ends. I just don't want to get emotionally invested in a character and relationship that's going to go poof.
Also, knowing there won't be a next season means that even though I know they've got Kybel set up, I won't get to enjoy it much if at all before the finale. I suspect I will be writing so much Kybel fiction. Lol.
On a more serious note, involving my girl Iz, I can already guess what all the Iz haters are saying about the end of episode 2.
So, I need everyone to take a step back and recall that THIS IS ISOBEL’S FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIP SINCE EFFIN NOAH BRACKEN!!!
Yes, Iz has come a long way since then.
But the last long-term relationship she had? Noah.
The last person she “told the truth” to? Noah.
So maybe the reason she's struggling to tell the truth to Anatsa might have a little something to do with that? Hm?
The reason she resorted to using her powers rather than confessing the truth might be because the last person she was in a long-term relationship with, she hid the truth from for years and that's a hard habit to break?
That when she did confess the truth to that person it was right before she discovered they had betrayed her in the worst way imaginable?
The scene where she used her powers - the guilt from doing it that made her run away. That was painful. As was her spotting Kyle, and the relief on her face - because here was someone she could talk to. Someone she was safe with. Only to see his date and close herself off again. Oof, that… yeah.
I really hope she gets a pep talk and not a lecture from someone about all this. Because… I have a theory of something coming later in the season. And I think it's gonna be painful for our girl Izzy.
I also think Kyle will be involved and that it will be painful for him too.
But this is too long already so theorizing next post.
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its march :3 (side note i think its funny that i chose march .. as a name.. to call myself. because i just like the name (and secretly i was thinking of the character from to you, my immortal/to your eternity) but it.. it was just march. march just ended. i only realized this connection yesterday.)
you would be CORRECT..!! see its Obvious. i think i would be way more embarrassed to pretend like ur wrong or gloss over ur guess bc thats ... .. the 2nd one just proves u right and the first one... is... is humiliating .... i will not go off anon tho this is comfy for me <3 (another side note. 20 minutes after giving myself a name . for ease. i was so embarrassed and ashamed LOL. like wow... i named myself when its already so obvious who i am....)
im really not much of a shipper tbh, especially with the straw hats cuz i love to see them as having familial relationships or just being real close friends but!!! one piece has definitely awakened something in me.. to ship characters. bc before i would never ship characters in media. i have.. various reasons for this. but the one piece fandom is so into shipping it has rubbed off on me a bit. i cant help it. i love hannyabul x magellan.
zoro is the perfect mix of cool and goofy, its so wonderful!!! using 3 swords is like the silliest thing in theory and then he busts out the most awesome moves with it and its like wow .. look at him. i cant imagine being zoro levels of bad at directions tho that is... impressive... /lh. DO PEOPLE CHOOSE LEAST FAVORITE STRAW HATS??? HOW DO THEY DO THAT .. tbh i dont consider people old til theyre in like their 50's or 60's (partly bc my parents are nearing their mid 60's and i see them as eternally youthful) but i feel like old man yaoi can include middle aged men!??? also tbh rayleigh (when hes old man-ified...) is really hot.. like young rayleigh is fine but old man rayleigh??? wow....
GOOD THING UR IN WHOLE CAKE ISLAND ARC SO U GET TO SEE KATAKURI SOON!!! cuz omg.... he is so lovely. he deserves so much love. crocodile is so popular!! i get the hype n i used to love him like that too.. but my interest has faded.. 😔 i do love the trans man croc and crocodad theories tho theyre so fun even if theyre not true. i love to imagine dragon (oh my god imagine dragons ...) as a guy whos still in love with his ex. i think that would be so silly .. and if his ex was croc??? that would be even sillier ... theyre perfect.
don't worry i have the sanji tiktoks saved for the day i work up courage 🫡!! pls DO send me more op stuff i love it !!!!
YES YES YES YES THATS THE WXACT VIDEO I WATCHED AHIFHSDJD!!! i was rly converted into a dub liker by That Alone!!!!
im real picky about voice acting tbh and japanese just makes it easier for me to like bc they have way cooler sounding voices. that "luffy... help me" scene with nami in arlong park will forever sound better to me in the sub rather than the dub . the voice crack!!! the helplessness!!! the way she squeaked it out, like it was the most painful thing to ask for help!!! ugh... big fan. i looked it up just now to rewatch and yeah i cried a bit 😎. also i just noticed her tears are rolling down her neck that is so real. anyways back to luffy,, yeah his voice acting makes him sound kinda more like... mature?? perhaps?? and he is a guy with endless youth and childish energy.. i dont like a luffy that sounds like. a teenager ... ofc i say all this having never watched a full episode of the dub so i could be super off LOL
the live action seems to play nami and zoro as much bigger grumps and ive heard zoro doesnt joke around much and im.... honestly rly worried to watch and be disappointed by that. although tbh nami not being super goofy makes sense to me .. zoro... my beloved zoro.. mackenyu (?) is a perfect zoro in terms of looks so i just hope i love his characterization of him too!!
i watched the april fools video!!!! i recognize that blob but idr the comic name.. very silly though i loved it. i guess i will have to do some pirating.. yarr mateys.
i can sit and watch shortform content for like 6 hours straight but as soon as i feel like i have to pay attention because im afraid of missing any context. suddenly my brain is out the window. i cant handle it anymore. ALSO IVE NEVER SEEN THAT COLORSPREAD??? DOFFY TONGUE PIERCINGS CANON??????
i ALSO loved younger joseph like he was so fun and goofy!!! and then he comes back as a gross old man who not only cheated but cheated with a MUCH younger woman.. and i was like wow!!!! suddenly you are disgusting!!! i will never pity that old man >:( (i will a little)
taking sanji away from oda and dressing him like a doll is Perfect. wonderful analogy. i love it. i keep thinking about dressing characters up like dolls so its topical to me specifically.
admittedly even as a transmasc person i didnt pick up on yamato being a trans guy at first. but all i had to do was look it up.. and read some ppls thoughts on it . and now i will defend him to the ends of the earth. its not hard to learn things that change ur perspective in this age of the internet !! i also agree he's done yamato dirty a few times . honestly when i see people listing reasons yamato isnt trans as like "he was drawn in a womens spread" or "he only identifies as a man because he idolizes a man" its. first of all its so exhausting. bc they always say the same few things. but also!! why did oda have to do him dirty like that!! 😭😭. i genuinely think that him being in a womens spread is probably just transphobia on oda's part (yes i think u can be transphobic towards ur own characters). but the whole "hes not trans because he wants to be *this* man not just *a* man" is so Weird?? like i usually love things being up to readers interpretation (even/especially lgbtq rep tbh) but i think yamato being trans could have been left up to interpretation in a better way?? or like he couldve just said "im a guy" at any point without the whole "because of this man i idolize" thing tacked on. idk if any of this makes sense. I'm trying to explain without spoiling anything LOL. hopefully i succeeded and ur still mostly spoiler free..
i havent written for any op characters before but i can imagine how easy it is!!! and somehow people still butcher their characters LOL its fucking insane. (im bitter)
law!!! yes hes SUPER popular. tbh i liked him real quick after the timeskip. it didnt take much for him to become one of my favorite characters!! all he has to do is make a shocked face every time he ends up going along with the straw hats antics. that is enough. sanji making sandwiches when theyre talking abt the alliance and law says "i dont like bread!!" and then his face of horror when he realizes what hes done .... its so beautiful... i love law and straw hat dynamics!!!
YEAH THATS FROM ONE PIECE PARTY. he actually shows up a lot in that series. i couldnt find all of it online but of what i could find... he was in almost every chapter. it was great. another amazing one piece party moment with law is. the sauna scene where they ask about his tattoos... i . i. i cant even explain how funny it is to me. my explanation could never do it justice.
actually a tierlist sounds Genius.. i am going to make a tierlist. wait for me... i will send it.. whenever im done .. although i dont kno w how to send images... ill find out .
choso is seriously the love of my life (i have many) hes so .. he is so special to me. i have been drawing for a large portion of my life but i spent a long time not taking it seriously out of fear . fanart has reignited my ambition to get better at art!!! its great. thank u hyperfixationions. thank u special interests. thank u audhd.
ok honestly ive never abt eye colors?? i saw recently that robins eyes are actually supposed to be brown not blue tho.. and like... wow... both are so lovely i cant decide what i like more.
to give u an answer though i will brainstorm what eye colors i think they all have!!
luffy: tbh.. like a light reddish brownish color.. i have reasons for this but i cant tell u yet.
nami: a soft orange. she is just so orange. or green!! like the leaf on an orange..
zoro: i... i have no idea for him??? grey?? white?? pink???? green?? im just listing colors?? actually white sounds pretty cool tho.. or maybe a super pale yellow?? that also sounds cool to me..
usopp: his eyes r definitely yellow or green
sanji: ive seen blue and brown for him but tbh as a blue eyed dirty blonde.. i like brown eyes better. i choose brown
chopper: theyre brown. he has big doe eyes. i love deer and their freaky giant eyelashed eyes.
robin: yeah blue or brown are both lovely on her!! tbh i loved her pre timeskip design especially bc the highlights in her hair matched her eyes.. and it was such a nice contrast with her skin color. so i have to choose blue.
franky: my blue eyed king. i love u american boy. they match his hair
brook (for funsies, despite never seeing his eyes): hes gotta have something wacky... rainbow eyes... rainbow.. yes rainbowm.. perfect . ok but actually if i were to choose id choose purple. light purple.
overall i think i chose pretty basic answers (lotta brown and blue). i love brown eyes they r so pretty . also this was very fun to think about???? thank u for asking??? pls tell me what ur headcanons r!!
no yeah i thought possibly it was a name but i was like “haha march anon. bc its march. yea”
jvbhc IT WASNT OBVIOUS WHO YOU WERE TO ME i did not have a guess at all until you said it was obvious and then i got a reply on my post that same day after that that had ur similar typing style and i was like. 👁️oh. KJFNKDSN but yes ur free to stay on anon if u want!! but my dms are always open too 👍
i was a big shipper when i was like. a teenager. and then i grew out of it UNTIL ONE PIECE…IDK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AND IM REALLY EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT </3 THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS DAMN STUFF!! i jokingly refer to zosan as my one piece yaoi to my friends. they hate it. so do i,
p.s. the end of that paragraph. took me for a loop. i . WAS NOT EXPECTING HANNYABUL X MAGELLAN SKVNFKD BUT SO TRUE. SO TRUE ‼️
zoro IS a perfect balance its no wonder he’s so well liked (even tho...a lot of dudebros seem to ignore his silly side). whenever i ask someone their favorite one piece character im just expecting them to say zoro tbh. like yea that’s the correct answer. KDNKS not really but its definitely the one i see being most popular. and YES his 3 swords are cool enough but the earrings. does oda know how hard he went giving zoro 3 gold dangly earrings on one ear. like does he know
and you’re right about rayleigh. my friends tell me i am an old man chaser and therefore i am biased but u see my vision. he’s literally hotter when he’s old. it’s the silver fox look.
I KNOW I GOTTA BE SO CLOSE. AHHAGHHH. when i get to katakuri best believe the liveblog will go crazy
my interest has kinda faded with croc too as he hasnt shown up as much…but i know he comes back and when he DOES show up im always so pleasantly surprised i gotta list him. I 1000% think he’s trans (though i dont believe the part about him being luffy’s mom. however. i do enjoy the content that comes from it bc its an interesting concept. and dragon as his ex works weirdly well and is so fucking funny imagining dragon (oh my god i did it too…) missing his ex.
WOOHOO!!!! AWAITING THE SANJITOKS WITH BATED BREATH. i love that the brook video is making its way around bc its actually a joy. sub does sound “cooler” usually but it just sounds so foreign to me at this point (not foreign in the literal sense of being a diff language. like. just sounds Wrong after being so used to dub.) hold on i need to watch that scene sub now [...]
OKAY. SO. TWO VERY POWERFUL SCENES: i watched both nami’s “help me” at arlong park and robin’s “i want to live” at enies lobby in both sub and dub just now…and for those two in particular. damn theyre actually ALL GOOD?? LIKE ALL REALLY WELL DONE?? although. my favorite dub moment by far. is robin’s “i want to live” in dub. her english voice is my fav compared to the sub by far. if you havent heard it i HIGHLY recommend you check it out like please. for me. literally gives me chills every. time.
tbh that is one of my only major issues with the live action. i actually prefer live action luffy (DONT KILL ME. ITS ONLY BY A LITTLE BIT. INAKI IS JUST SO WONDERFUL AND ITS A COOL ALTERNATE TAKE TO HIS CHARACTER. HE’S..NICER. MORE KIND? BUT NOT IN A WAY THAT I FEEL ERASES MANGA/ANIME LUFFY) tbh the live action tweaked each character a bit. nami is more serious and grumpy, zoro is WAY TOO EDGY?? (zoro is the one i was least happy with) and isnt boisterous nor does he laugh enough (esp for early/pre ts zoro) he does great with the action scenes though. usopp is the closest but he feels more like. suave about his lying whether than nervous? i dont mind it tho. jacob is great. taz is a good sanji but melontee once called him “chad british sanji” and now i cant get tht terrible phrase out of my head KJDNFKVN it really is a fun ride tho!!
YES THAT COLORSPREADDDD i saw once that apparently the color spreads arent “canon” but whatever. thts not the point. the point is oda has drawn him with tongue piercings which mean he has considered doffy with tongue piercings. its canon to Me
im literally planning to write a fic where sanji goes back to kamabakka with the strawhats and gets forced into doing Kamabakka Island Things (read: gay shit) by Iva even tho he’s embarrassed bc his crew his there. rewriting kamabakka to be better is my favorite past time
u did a good job with the yamato explanation, i already was aware of a lot of that/dont feel spoiled at all! and i agree completely to all of those points. i feel like he Almost wanted to do trans rep but maybe wanted an out ?? or was too scared to go full send with it?? or is just being transphobic lmao. yea. yes to ur whole paragraph basically
law’s “i dont like bread” is iconic ksdnkdc. also ur description of “all he has to do is make a shocked face every time he ends up going along with the straw hats antics” just makes me imagine law pogging all the time. i think that alone just made me like his character more than before KSADNC
I LOOKED UP THE ONEPIECE PART PANEL. “PENIS DEATH” DFKN DF CHOPPA !?!?
if u make a tierlist i will make one…i might have made one b4 actually…i will look.
HELL YEAA i recently made a bingo for my fav characters across fandoms. u should tell me if u share any . and i think i have it turned on so people can send media in asks?? if not, my submissions are also open
and yes. keep drawing. always and forever as long as its fun!! dont be scared. ur supposd to enjoy it!
yea robin’s eyes are brown in the manga but blue in the anime! i think it was either an error or oda was like “yea whatever thats fine” lmao
luffy’s…”i have reasons for this but i cant tell u yet.” HELLO?? IM SCARED. personally i feel like he has dark brown!!
omg..i like nami’s canon brown eyes but orange or green would be cute!
i 1000% want grey eyes for zoro. i know whenever they stylize the irises in the anime they just color them grey for sanji and zoro but like. for zoro they actually really Work…though i think when u CAN see his irises in colored manga art they’re usually brown? the other most popular option i see people give him in fanart is gold/yellow tho!
VERY INTERESTING USOPP CHOICE?? I WAS GONNA SAY BROWN LIKE NAMI’S BUT MAYBE A BIT DARKER (lighter than luffy’s tho)
ive gotten so used to blue eye sanji bc thats how EVERYONE draws him but in the most recent colorspread…bro. tell me those arent brown. and i recently found other examples with oda colorign his eyes brown, so i think he has a situation similar to robin’s. i prefer brown eyes and brown eyed sanji is so hansome but like. i saw his blues so much that now im torn
i think i actually agree w you about robin for the exact same reason! and bc so many of his characters seem to have brown in “canon”
omg. i havent thought abt franky a lot but hear me out…pink?? i just think it would look good with his hair,
also i consulted this post for what i think their “canon” colors are (in manga)!
RAINBOW EYES FOR BROOK…GAY ASS OLD MAN…light purple would actually look good behind his glasses in his human form!
i might not be able to reply in the next couple days bc i always write so much in these that i sit down to do it at my laptop but i'll keep an eye out and get back to u when i can 🥸
ps...what are ur favorite arcs...
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I don’t feel like typing this out a million times so, the story of the Haunted Package:
Back in February, I ordered a collar. I put it off for a little bit too long for a bunch of various reasons, and finally contacted the seller, ran into language problems, got things settled out, and paid.
Literally the next day the war started. The war on Ukraine. Where that seller was.
I shrugged and wrote it off. It was less than $50; and certainly, if they could access it, the seller needed it more. I thought about it a few times over the following months, looked longingly at the hiatus’ing and then shut-down shop, looked at the closed listing, all that. No big deal, just some mild heartache.
And then, in early september, I got an email.
“Your package has been assigned a tracking number,” the email said.
“The fuck it has,” I said.
I wrestled with the email, the tracking, I wrestled with the language problems, it’s not really important. Suffice to say I did manage to get the number into a box and that box told me that the number existed.
This is where it gets fun.
So, typically, when you order a package, and it comes with a tracking number, and it is being shipped into the US, there are a couple of options as to What Exactly Happens.
The most common one being that the tracking number simply stops working.
So, when I saw that the package had been “accepted” (in a city inside of an active warzone) and “processed” I did not believe anything was happening. When I saw, two days later, with a backdate four days earlier, that it had been “handed over to customs” all within the space of a couple of minutes on the time stamps, I continued to disbelieve anything was really happening. So far, everything is pretty explicable in terms of “someone made up a number to make Etsy stop being upset and allow the shop to be permanently closed”. That’s reasonable! It’s a fucking warzone. They have more important problems than “you can’t close your shop because I need a tracking number, wah wah.”
And then, in the most bizarre twist, the tracking number started working on the USPS website. At the moment, it said something like “this sure does exist in the ukraine somewhere”. That had me curious. I could accept that a website in a language I can’t read might be able to be manipulated with a fake tracking number. Not so for the USPS, which is generally a pain in the ass.
So I watched it. It continued to not move, or update. I eventually wrote it off again; expecting this was just a glitch or happenstance.
But I kept refreshing the page. Once a day. Just for the kick in the nuts.
And then - the USPS tracking updated with the Ukraine tracking information. And this gave me pause. Typically, when I’ve had packages delivered in with tracking numbers, it tracks beautifully right up to the border, and then USPS takes it and goes “lol you paid for international tracking and we’re national, fuck you” and the next update I get is a “you missed our delivery because you were out :( we’re so sowwy”. I have never seen USPS update its tracking on its national, US based website, to include actions that were done in another country before USPS even knew there was a tracking number.
But wait! it gets weirder!
Now USPS knew it existed, I guess. Now I could start refreshing this site, once a day, just for the curiousity at this point. Was it what I ordered? Did someone put a rock in a box and ship it to my address? Did someone return to the post office building in the war zone and take the packages out for delivery, seven months after that package was dropped off??
I will probably never know.
Anyways, two weeks go by. I finally give it up for gone. USPS must have wised up, I told myself. They must have figured out that someone made this up to make a website shut up and stopped this roller coaster here.
And then it updated.
In Jamaica, New York.
“Excuse me?” I thought. “Even if this is an international package, why in the fuck is it somehow on both an island and in the US?” At this point, my partner called it “haunted” and I was quick to agree: this is the strangest package experience I’ve ever had in my entire life. Surely something is in the mail for me now. Will I have to pay customs? Will I have a piece of concrete from a warzone on my desk with the weirdest story ever attached to it???
It moved again. Now it was no longer in Jamaica. And then it disappeared again. And then, a week later, we are now at the end of September, I have waited 20-something days and 7 months for this thing to exist,
It showed up in Portland. But not where I thought it would be; it was not near the airport, the ports, or either of the two major entries into the city; it was somehow one zipcode north of me.
“Alright.” I said. “Game On.” So I started paying attention to it. Of course, this is USPS, so when Sat/Sun hit, I knew there was not going to be anything. All was quiet for a weekend.
And then Monday came. And then it was out for delivery. And then, we reach the not new but still wildly infuriating part of this tale: the “delivery attempt”.
I have an Arlo doorbell camera. It is connected to my phone. When someone presses the button on the doorbell, it rings, and then it rings my phone. I know that packages generally show up somewhere between 11a and 1p. Foolish, foolish me decided I would trust the mail person to press the button on the doorbell camera. Foolish me decided that, because the tracking did not say “signature needed”, it would not need a signature.
Dear readers, was I ever fucking wrong. At 11:35, I refreshed the tracking number.
“Missed Delivery” it said. “Attempted to deliver; no one was home.”
Dear readers. Not only was I home. Not only was my partner home. Not only was my roommate home.
I WAS LESS THAN TWENTY GODDAMN FEET AWAY FROM THE FUCKING DOOR.
He did not knock, he did not ring, he did not even fucking pause, because he had already written out the “we missed you because you were not home!!! :(” pink slip, stuck it to a letter (THAT WAS NOT EVEN MEANT FOR ME! HE JUST RANDOMLY PICKED ONE OF MY ROOMMATES!) and jammed it into the slot.
I have several problems with this. It has never, not once ever, been normal to stick the pink slip to a letter and put it into the slot. We have a metal screen door. I have always, always had my mail people open the screen door (which I would have heard) slap their fist on the door once, probably with the pink slip on that hand to stick it to the door, and then run away like they were being shot at.
At this point, the rage hit me. Not because I had been duped. Not because I had been fucked over by the mail delivery person, who did not knock, who did not ring, who did not even pause for long enough to activate the doorbell camera. No, no, I was mad,
because he chose not to mark one of the two checkboxes for “will attempt redelivery” or “will be at location for pickup tomorrow.”
I understand, you’re overworked. I understand, you’re trying to get done with this shitty thankless job as fast as humanly possible and go home. I understand! I do!
But if you’re going to fucking prewrite the denial slip. If you’re going to fuck me over on purpose when you set out from your little mail truck.
at least.
mark.
the fucking box.
My dear, long-suffering partner, saint that they are, called the post office in my stead (as I was still screeching and throwing soft objects) to ask where it would be.
They hung up on them.
So they called again. And went through the process again. And got hung up on again. So they, expressing more patience than I have ever felt in my entire body,
called the main post office line. And waited. For something like 40 minutes. And listened to all of the fucking nonsense and the stupid condescending robots. And finally, finally got to a real person.
I heard two words out of that real person’s mouth and escorted myself out of the room and off of the floor of the house, because there was enough condescension there to drown me. My wonderful partner did manage to get two important piece of information: first, that the package would in fact be available for pickup the next day at the regular location. Second, that we were going to be blamed for “not being there” no matter what we did.
I think, dear readers, next time, I’m going to set off the doorbell siren. When that hand reaches out with that pink slip and that back turns on me, I think I am going to snap like a brittle bone. I dearly hope they do not attempt this stupid shit again. I dearly hope I am smart enough to remember this in the future, and sit staring at the door for three straight hours. I wonder if they’ll have the good sense to look guilty when I put the full pressure of 17 years in the South behind my gaze.
Anyways. Thanks to some Substances and some Video Games, I managed to taper off the rage boiling in my chest enough to sleep. I planned my day, I did my work, and I left my house at 8:00 on the dot.
The post office, you see, opens at 8:30. It is maybe 15 minutes away. I was not playing games today.
I arrived at 8:12. I sat in my car until 8:20. In that time, I saw three people drive up, park, get out of their cars, see the later-than-normal opening time, and turn around and go home.
I was not going to be defeated so easily.
At 8:20, I moved to the front of the building. At 8:25, I moved inside of the vestibule. By 8:27, I had three compatriots waiting in line with me.
At 8:28, some fucking blonde white woman with a voice like a cheesegrater being used to play a violin walked in, looked at the door marked “employees only”, and pressed the doorbell next to it. Instead of telling her to fuck off and wait in line like the rest of us, the employee who opened that door
helped her.
It is now 8:31. I am now growing increasingly upset at the situation, but my long years of training in Texas have taken over. I am standing with perfect posture. My face may or may not be twisted into a snarl, but I have a mask on: no one can see. My gaze, however, could peel the tracksuit off of that fucking woman.
Someone finally comes to the door of the post office, switches it to open, and welcomes the line of now five people in.
I walk up, and wait. The same person appears behind the counter. I hand him my pink slip. He asks for my ID. I hand him my ID. Now, something I have not yet mentioned in my slow, precise laying-out of this situation: the reason for this? the reason the “delivery” person did not leave me my fucking package?
“Signature Required.”
Now. That’s not unusual. It is an international package. However. I did not pay for signature. It was not present on the tracking page. It was not at any point in any way told to me that I would need to sign for this package. Readers, I was comfortable in this assumption that there was not a signature needed for this package, so when I approached the counter and handed over my ID, I expected, that like all things in the world, the situation would right itself and I would be asked for a signature once the package was in my eyesight.
Now, back to the tale. The nice post office man hands me my ID. He takes my pink slip. And he
disappears.
Into the back room. This is completely normal. I wait the regular amount of time, posture pristine, teeth gritting, one hand held in the other behind my back so that I could sink my claws into my soft pink flesh and not be rude. My phone buzzes. I check the message: it is not critical. I put the phone back in my pocket. The regular amount of time passes again. The man has not returned.
I see him slink across the back of the back room, not making eye contact, to the second back room. This is when I begin to grow concerned. Have I, at this last moment, at this final hurdle, fallen? Has the fucking asshole who “delivered” and ditched “forgotten” the package on his truck? It has happened before. I have been told, in kinder terms, to fuck off and wait for redelivery before.
The man slinks back the other way, but this time he feels my gaze, looks half over his shoulder, tries a smile - he doesn’t feel it - and speed walks back to the first back room.
Oh, no.
He is joined by a coworker. They are both looking, my little pink slip in hand. One of them disappears from view further into the back room. Now the other one, too. We are approaching the 10 minute mark.
More agonizing time passes. The line has grown to maybe 7 people behind me. There are no other cashiers. We all wait.
Finally, finally, he returns, a curious, nonstandard shaped package in his hand. Is it my package?
He dumps it on the counter, out of reach, out of view, and disappears again.
It took everything in my tiny body not to do more than unclasp my hands from behind my back, throw them out at my hips in a “are you fucking serious” gesture, catch myself, and lock my sharp little claws back into my squishy little wrist again.
Several minutes later, he returns. He has a cash drawer. “Oh?” I think “Do I need to pay customs fees? Is that what this is?” He assembles his drawer. He places it into his register. He picks up my box.
“Finally,” I think to myself, “finally this is going to be over.”
He scans the box. He places it on the scale.
“Here you go :)”
“I don’t need to sign? I don’t need to pay?”
“Nope!” And he waves the next person over.
At this point. I have been misled. I have been ditched. I have been dragged across this fucking saga for an entire month plus one extra day just to fuck me over a little bit more.
And then I find out. That I do not - that I have not - that I NEVER needed to sign. That the person who “attempted delivery” marked a box that wasn’t even relevant for reasons I will never understand.
I get to my car. I now have this strange box, possibly containing a collar, possibly containing a very light piece of warzone rubbish. I take out my knife - several inches long, cardboard destroyer, bark ripper, this thing looks mean - and the person in the car next to me, who has just arrived, widens their eyes and scurries off towards the post office.
There was, in fact, a collar in the box.
It was not the collar I ordered. Someone went to great lengths to get very close to the object that I had discussed with the seller, that I had seen photographs of, but it was not the object that I ordered.
The hardware was different (this was my first clue) and the stitching was poor. And the material for the decoration was different. And the riveting was different.
Thus ends the Haunted Package Saga, story of the strangest package delivery I have ever experienced, not with a bang or a whimper, but with an extremely, extremely confused me.
I sort of wish it had been a warzone rock.
#text post#readmore#long post#shin talks#The Haunted Package Saga#Haunted Package#at least if it was a rock I would have been delightedly confused#but this leaves me with even more questions#just to add more bullshit to the pile I got stuck behind not one#but TWO usps mail trucks on the way home#it took TWICE AS LONG to get home#and then I had not one but TWO bikers decide that the appropriate way to signal their intent to randomly turn left across a two lane street#was to lift their hand from the handlebar not even enough to make a limp gay wrist#and then FLING themselves into traffic -- in front of my car.
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1519
What was the last seriously painful thing that happened to you?
I accidentally ate a whole dried chili pepper from my kung pao chicken last night. It looked like any other topping, so I shoved it in my mouth mindlessly... :/ The burning sensation in my mouth felt fun I guess but boy do peppers actually taste like shit when eaten on their own – it felt like I ate a spoonful of metal and soil? and then of course my tummy felt upset for a couple of hours after that.
Did you get sleep last night? If not why, were you up?
I did; I slept earlier than usual actually, given how busy I had been this week. I think I passed out by 11:30 PM.
What's the last rude thing someone said to you?
Idk. People are very rarely rude to my face.
Would you rather do yoga or pilates or Zumba?
All of these sound exhausting lmao. I’d try Zumba just so I can at least dance while working out.
Have you ever been scammed by a church? Or felt scammed by a church?
Not scammed out of money but I definitely feel like church/organized religion is a scam and waste of time generally. < Yeah, let’s go with this. But on the money side, I will share this - I’ve said this before, but for the last 3-4 years my parish has been trying to raise funds for renovations and make the space larger and much much MUCH grander, and I find it so sad and desperate how they are clinging to churchgoers (most of whom don’t even have the extra income to allot for donations) to see progress. It’s so dumb and I always ignore the basket that goes around during offertory knowing it’s going to that church I’ll eventually stop attending anyway.
What does your class ring look like?
What is that even? Do students in some schools do that? I was never too attached to my own batch to get a class ring.
What's your greatest asset?
My ability to think quickly on my feet. Sort of a mandatory in my line of work, and I’ve learned lots about problem-solving and meeting deadlines from it.
List ten careers you think you'd find interesting.
Museum curator, NASA engineer, surgeon, concert handler/organizer, wedding planner, editor for Korean variety shows, historian, production crew on a cruise ship, anonymous restaurant inspector. 10 is a LOT lmao, I didn’t expect how stumped I’d be.
Do you know what you want to do with your life?
Not quite yet. I thought I had it all figured out, but my burnout has since served as the slap to the face I needed to tell me I’m not really finding satisfaction with what I do anymore. I don’t know if I’ll always want to be in the corporate world, but what I know is I’d love to start exploring another facet of my passions, aka museums and anything related to history.
Have you found your soulmate yet?
No, idk if I believe in that and I certainly never use the term genuinely, and only do so in a very joking/lighthearted manner.
Do you believe in Judgment Day?
Is that the Bible thing? No. The only Judgment Day I recognize is the old WWE pay-per-view hahahaha.
What's your favorite holiday for candy?
I don’t like candy and I’ve never waited for a holiday specifically for candy.
What celebrity has the same body type as you?
Not being biased lol, but Kristen Stewart is a good example I think. Zendaya also! although I am nowhere near as tall as she is.
Can you see spirits?
Nope, don’t believe in that. I have a number of friends (that I trust) who claim to have a third eye or a sixth sense – and while I don’t and will never believe them specifically for that, I still like to prompt them every once in a while to see if they’re currently sensing anything different. In a way, I’m still interested in what they’d have to say.
If you were to design shirts, what would you put on them?
If we’re talking about statement shirts, I’d pass. I never liked sayings on clothing.
What is the name of your YouTube channel?
It’s just my Google-registered name since I registered using my Gmail.
What was the first social media site you joined?
Technically it was Myspace but I never touched it again after creating my account, ha. The first social media site I joined and actually spent time at was Twitter, followed by Multiply.
Do you prefer wide-ruled or college-ruled paper?
College. Having wide lines on my paper has always made me feel like I’m back in elementary school and taking penmanship classes.
Have you ever had a book completely disconnect from its binding?
I’ve had this happen to my books when I was a kid, yeah.
When was the last time you won a contest, and what did you win?
It was technically not a contest, but we recently had a company-wide workshop where we invited a journalist to give us a writing lecture and even homework. I was personally excited about the writing prompt he gave, but I was just too busy with work that I completely missed (and forgot about) the deadline. I rush-wrote my material the morning after the deadline and was a little nervous about it because I didn’t even give it a second glance lol, but when I consulted with him later on in the week he told me mine was the best one and that I would be given the highest score. No prize for this other than validation and assurance for my writing hahaha.
What talents contests do you think you could win?
Writing and speaking ones, judging from the few contests I did manage to join in the past.
Where do you store your Christmas decorations?
Mom keeps it in this large container in the garage.
Do you decorate for holidays?
Only for Christmas.
Do you have a hope chest? If so, what's in it?
No, I don’t know what that is...have I taken this survey before? I remember learning about a hope chest precisely because of a question like this, but idk otherwise I don’t think I’ve ever encountered some of the questions here so probably a coincidence.
What's unique about your bed?
Can’t think of anything about it that makes it stand out.
What's unique about your bedroom?
My aircon is the same aircon that you will see if you look at my photos of me as a baby in my nursery.
Do you act too nice for your age?
I don’t think niceness has anything to do with age, but I definitely get called out by my mom whenever she can for being too much of a pushover haha. For the most part I’m outspoken only within people I trust; but I hate hate hate having to argue with strangers and think it’s a waste of time, so I normally just let other people have their way. And she really hates that.
What's a place that starts with the same letter as your name?
Romania.
Where would you most like to do a 24 hour challenge in? List five places.
Gangwon, Busan, Barcelona, New York City, Basel.
What's your favorite part of Chinatown?
I’ve never been to a Chinatown.
Does your doctor respect you?
I don’t have a doctor that I regularly go to. I also never really get checkups and only go to a clinic/hospital if I’m experiencing some sort of serious ache.
What color is your birthmark? Where is it located?
I have one on the top left part of my back and it’s dark brown; I have another one by my butt, which is also dark brown; and I used to have a Mongolian spot on my right arm.
Have you ever made a prank call?
Never.
What are some jobs people in your family have had? List five.
My dad started as a cook and worked his way up the kitchen; to add, he used to work in a hotel here in the Philippines but started working overseas after the birth of my sister so the family monies could be more sustainable. My mom has juggled all sorts of administrative work in three different hotels over the last 29 years so she’s been a receptionist, secretary to the F&B director, etc.
Do you feel spiritually in tune with nature when you're out in the wild?
I don’t believe in spirituality and ‘getting in touch’ with mine.
Which Cheetah Girl was your favorite?
Raven mostly because I loved her in That’s So Raven and I didn’t know the other girls too much.
Which Spice Girl was your favorite?
Didn’t reach their peak, sorry. I love Victoria though, but more as herself than as a member of the group.
Which Power Ranger was your favorite?
Was never into the Power Rangers.
Were you blonde as a child?
Not at all.
What was your first CD you bought?
Beyoncé’s I Am...Sasha Fierce.
Have you ever cried while locked in a bathroom?
A few times. I generally avoid the bathroom though...doesn’t the echo make it worse? If I need to cry I just do it in bed or go to my car so I can be alone.
What is your favorite type of book to read?
Memoirs.
Do you ever sleep on your floor?
Very occasionally.
If you're not in school, do you ever miss writing essays?
I don’t miss it, only because I get to do it for a living kind of! Hahaha but if I had ever ended up in a different field, I definitely see myself missing writing. It’s one of the few things I know and am good at.
Do you enjoy writing?
I love it.
Who's the best photographer you know?
Maybe Reiven since he actually did it for a living at one point.
Have you ever had a professional photo shoot done?
Yes, for grad shoots. Nothing beyond that, though.
Have you ever performed in a talent show?
No.
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ok so this might come off as a bit rambly so please bear with me lol
i've noticed that the acotar fandom has this incessant need to be right when it comes to canon and it really sucks out the funness of fandom. shipping is supposed to be fun but when it comes to this fandom, it's almost like a competition to see who will be more right when the books come out. engaging with theories/predictions about characters and the plot is supposed to be exciting but when it comes to this fandom, some of the theories/predictions are problematic at worst and nonsensical at best. like how can you say with your full chest that you're so confident about where the series is heading in the future because of this or that theory when you're stuck in the past and refuse to see what all of the text is telling you in the present. it doesn't make sense. the selective reading is so strong that it has me looking sideways sometimes lol
i guess my question is why do you think the fandom is so divided when it comes to ships right now? i've seen people say this wasn't the case for feysand and nessian, so what's the difference here?
Oh boy Brielle, I have some thoughts on this. It's complex.
To be clear, I am not saying that this applies to literally every single person who ships a certain way. This is a commentary on the fandom as a whole, and there are always exceptions.
This got really, really long, so I'm putting it under the cut.
I think that one of the main draws of this series, and of sjm's writing in general, is her ships. I think that people get very, very attached to their ships.
I also think that sjm does NOT fully think through some of the choices that she makes when writing. See: the way that she takes from all these different cultures and mashes them together, which could be seen as disrespectful of their origin. She has retconned things, like Mor being queer and Lucien being Helion's son. I think that she thoroughly thinks about some of the aspects of her books, like Rhys's reaction to sleeping with Feyre for the first time, but then really half-asses other aspects of her books, like Mor coming out.
Then, we have your good old misogyny and homophobia - people in the fandom don't like Mor because she hurt the poor bat boy's feelings when she didn't sleep with him, and they don't have a mating bond, but she's never really told Azriel "no", and so every single moment of pain that Azriel has felt in 500 years is Morrigan's fault. And Mor's experience as a closeted queer woman who feels unsafe around the people she should trust the most is completely disregarded by the fandom.
Finally, I think that a combination of these factors has created the monster we know as e*riel, and that the fandom is perpetuating its own mythology.
What all of this comes down to, and the real reason I think that the fandom is behaving this way right now, is that e*riel is dead. It's never happened, it's not going to happen, but because we don't have the clear closure we got with moriel (where people would be accused of homophobia for continuing to ship it), people are still trying to figure out any possible way for e*riel to become canon, though every single sign points to it being a non-issue.
This weird thing where people have to be "right" all the time, and the way that "right" = "canon" is a relatively new development. It's as if everyone in this fandom forgot that they are in fact in a fandom, which inherently diverges from canon.
However, I think that the need to cling to canon is because the alternative would be to admit defeat and say "well, even if it doesn't happen I will still ship e*riel, it's fine, I will live with that." But they don't want to do that. In response, they look at canon so hard that they are reading the white space between the letters to create their theories, which as you noted as largely nonsensical and often fail to take into account who the characters are as individuals, how they are connected to other characters, and why it would or wouldn't be appropriate for them to be involved in various plots.
People could say, as eluciens having been saying since day one, "I really ship this thing but I can see that it might not become canon". But they don't say that. They literally refuse to see any other possibility than e*riel becoming canon.
You pointed out that people are stuck in the past - absolutely. The number of reimaginings I have seen of scenes where either Azriel or Elain has literally zero to do with the scene, but people try to shove one or both of them in there. And this from books ago. People are stuck on the Truthteller scene, and refuse to acknowledge that neither of them have acted on their feelings, whatever those might be, for years. And they ignore the fact that once Elain and Az do act, it goes horribly wrong.
Here are the facts as of right now:
ACOSF is the most recent book. In that book, sans extra chapter, those two had no interaction other than looking at one another.
If we include his POV, then he said it was wrong, we got confirmation that nothing has ever happened between them, she returned his necklace. Elain was aroused, but that does not mean she was ready to even have sex. "Yes" to a kiss is not "yes" to every single sexual act Az can think of. They parted on awkward, bad terms after a scene in which it seemed like they were about to start something. Yikes. Unlike Wings and Embers, they did not end that chapter still thinking of one another. After they part ways, the omniscient narrator does not mention Elain, or Az thinking about Elain, again.
His POV occurs months before the end of the book. They do not interact after that.
Elain has a mate she has not rejected, nor accepted.
So anyway, your question was why are people like this. lol. I think the fandom created a monster, and that monster is clinging to life. It can't accept the idea of morphing into a non-canon ship, though it never was canon in the first place. It had just convinced itself that it was.
There are other aspects to this, that have to do with gwynriel and elucien.
Gwynriel is a new ship, it's almost guaranteed to happen, people are super excited to ship it and give Gwyn all their love. I'm sure they would rather create content for that ship than argue about whether or not it's going to be canon, but they are in constant defense mode. Some people honestly didn't like e*riel before because they don't like Elain, or because they don't like Azriel, and those are valid reasons for not liking it. Why people ship gwynriel doesn't matter. The tone of the discussion is, unfortunately, being shaped elsewhere, which I will mention below.
Elucien is an old ship, older than e*riel. I can speak from this perspective - personally, I have been holding my tongue for 4.5 years. I have been letting people live, and just talking about the things I like. Then when acosf came out, it was like I could finally say all the things I had been thinking about Azriel, because I now had proof that the things I thought about his character (and because of that, about e*riel) now had solid canon foundation. This is 4.5 years of me holding in a lot of shit and finally being able to say it. Sometimes yes, I might take joy in having been right.
I think that a few people are clinging to canon, and that sets the tone for the discourse in the fandom. Someone says "according to page whatever, blah blah blah" and people feel the need to respond, and then it turns into and "I'm right" contest instead of... a fandom... A lot of us like debating. To me, it's fun. But when Person A starts a conversation that's about canon and it actually ignores canon, it's hard to let that conversation go by and just keep creating whatever we want to create. Instead, we respond, and so the tone of the conversation is shaped by what Person A decided to say.
I also think that there is a lack of distinction between theories (what will happen in the future) and meta (analysis of what we have now).
There is also a lack of "I" statements. Opinions are being stated as fact.
idk if there is a way to make it better, other than to just go back to ignoring one another. This whole situation makes me want to throw out every single canon ship I like and create exclusively non-canon content, just for spite. Except I really like doing meta, and so I don't want to. I guess for my point, I'll just keep doing meta, keep creating different content, and keep reminding people that they aren't here to continue perpetuating canon, but to play with it.
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post-finale stuff
Possible spoilers. Beware
Last night, I happened to check the scriptwriter's Weibo and saw that she had liked this fan's post. It's the only non-work related Weibo post that she had liked, so of course, I went to read it.
The fact that this is the only fan post she's given her approval to must mean that it is on point and she agrees with the characterisation. I thought it's pretty good, so I've gone ahead to translate it here. I own 0 rights to this. I just thought it's a good perspective that may help others like me who struggled with the ending.
I think I've mostly made my peace with it now, and to sum it up:
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they are.
A-Xu never once blamed Lao Wen for how things turned out because he understood that. And he’s clearly a better person than I am (lol).
Let me be clear about my stand - the real victim of how the drama unfolded in the last six episodes is WKX. When we feel our hearts ache for ZZS, it's because the show let down WKX (the character). If your heart is only hurting for WKX during episodes 33-34, you should try to ship WKX with someone else, ok? If you think the last six episodes were great and that WKX was very romantic (and only romantic), then I honestly don't know what to say.
I ship wenzhou. That means I like both Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu. I want them to love each other, be good to each other and live happily ever after. And I want them not to be OOC.
The rest behind the cut. Spoilers for the whole drama.
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First, the source. Here is a link to that Weibo post, by 爱吐槽的栗小姐. I will delete this if requested by the OP - because this is really in a grey area imo. But I think the intention of a public post is for it to be shared? (especially something like this, which argues a point)
Secondly, the poster does try to be fair in her post, but as the problem here is WKX's ruined characterisation, ZZS's character is analysed primarily concerning this issue only. There's quite a bit left to ZZS's character and backstory that isn't relevant. I believe that's why the post doesn't elaborate on it, or so I hope.
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Ever since WKX faked his death, I received three to four waves of fellow sister fans' mournful wails: "Lao Wen actually faked his death; does he have a heart?" "They were supposed to be of the same heart and treat each other with honesty. How did they regress?" "What happened to their innate soulmate-ness?" "Why does A-Xu always say to face things together, yet Lao Wen always keeps his plans from him?" "A-Xu loves Lao Wen, yet Lao Wen only loves himself"…….
Wait. What have you guys misunderstood about the meaning of soulmates?
Soulmates are about values, but a person's behaviour… that's methodology FFS!
(Do they no longer teach this in political affairs class in high school anymore?)
Wenzhou, these soulmates, are incomparably compatible and mesh well in terms of values. According to the scriptwriter, the entire jianghu wants and tries to get the pieces of Glazed Armour, save the two of them. Not only do they not care for the peerless martial arts, immense power, nor the massive wealth that the Glazed Armour represents, they don't even care for the power they hold in their hands –Ghost Valley and the Window of Heaven. Both of them willing to give it up without a second thought.
Before they met each other, they were so tired of (ZZS) and so angry at (WKX) this earthly world that they didn't even want to live on anymore.
After they met each other, they gradually began to feel the warmth in this world again. How nice it would be if they could live in seclusion, hand in hand and just bask in the sun.
In this world, where everyone else is fighting for power or wealth, they are true soulmates. To intelligent people like them, whether or not they're honest about their identities or secrets is merely a matter of formality. They had already determined their attraction to the other's soul early on and have never doubted it.
There may be some here who would criticise loudly at this point, "Then can't you be more considerate for your soulmate (the actual phrased used is "spiritual companion")? A-Xu has said many times, let's face everything together, I'll bet that you will be honest with me. If you really love him, then why can't you care for his feelings?"
----- You guys, you've never been married.
If two souls meeting can naturally resolve all behavioural conflicts and disagreements, then the theory of "breaking in" * would not exist.
Let us take a look at what kind of a person WKX and ZZS each are.
Wen Kexing, he's a lone wolf.
After his parents' death and his entering the Ghost Valley, his smooth sailing life suddenly fell off a cliff. Ever since then, the only person he could rely on was himself. That deep-seated hatred is carved into his bones, yet he can't speak of it to anyone else. He isn't the same type of person as the rest of the ghosts in the Ghost Valley; he isn't the same type of person as A-Xiang, who he raised. If we talk about the world and everyone who lives in it, he doesn't have any fetters or feels any (positive) emotions.
His supposed craziness is a form of indifference. He's indifferent to others' lives, nor his own, because he just doesn't care. (T/N: I think he does care for his own life, but only for revenge, after that, he's indifferent. Indifferent isn't suicidal. I don't know why some fans seem to be confusing the two. Although he didn't plan to, if he somehow manages to stay alive after getting his revenge, WKX will continue to live on, even if it's only to keep A-Xiang happy because he is indifferent.)
Growing up like this, being solitary became his style. He's used to doing everything alone, used to making his own decisions, used to digesting all his emotions himself.
Every time he argues with A-Xu, he digests his emotions himself. The next day, he faces A-Xu with a smile again.
This is how he loves, to take it upon himself to face danger, difficulty and pain alone. It's how he had supported A-Xiang all these years in the Ghost Valley and what he's used to.
While Zhou Zishu, he's a lead horse (of a herd). **
Since a very young age, he's taught to take responsibility. He's used to bearing everything on his shoulders, be it the responsibility of his family or the responsibility for the Four Seasons Manor, even the responsibility for saving commoners from disasters.
Unlike the lone wolf, the lead horse is ultimately a social animal.
Regardless of his identity as the Manor Lord of the Four Seasons Manor or the Leader of the Window of Heaven, he's always the one to lead the herd and rarely fights alone. So, A-Xu not only has leadership ability but more than that, he also knows how to be tolerant and accepting of the differences of his team members. You can see the various ways he managed to influence Lao Wen along the road; he's firm when he needs to be and soft the other times. It's absolutely textbook in managing your lover workplace management.
Zhou Zishu believes in communication whenever there's a problem, that they should be open and honest. So, teamwork is what he's used to.
Does it mean that when a horse and lone wolf fall in love, that there won't be a breaking in period?
Obviously not.
I guess this is where some may say again, "isn't this part of a character's arc/development? The two of them quarrel time and time again. Did WKX not grow at all from it?"
Of course, after meeting each other, they both grew and saved each other.
When he first left Window of Heaven, A-Xu was lonely with regret. Unlike the lone wolf who's used to doing everything alone, a lead horse without the last of his herd has no way to bear the bone-deep loneliness and merciless self-recrimination.
ZZS wandered around this world aimlessly until Lao Wen started pestering him, until he picked up Zhang Chengling, right up until he felt he hadn't singlehandedly destroyed the Four Seasons Manor. This lead horse finally regained a goal in life. He gained a partner and a lover. Lao Wen sticks to him, Chengling relies on him, and the abandoned Four Seasons Manor became like-new in his hands. He finally reconciles with himself.
When he first came out of the valley, Lao Wen carried a rage strong enough to burn the world down. But when he met A-Xu, he also met the beauty of the world.
When the Four Sages of Anji died, WKX understood how he caused innocent suffering. When Gao Chong walked to his death knowingly, he understood that although some may desire power, they could still be righteous and upstanding people. When he learned of everything Long Que sacrificed to protect his family***, he finally relaxed his guard.
There were so many types of good people and things that he saw along this journey that he hadn't seen in the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu told him he was a good person as they basked in the sun, he genuinely wanted to return to the human (vs ghost) realm and be a good man.
Along their journey, A-Xu made up for the morals and values that WKX lost in the Ghost Valley and showed him a new world outlook. He appeased Lao Wen's anger, tempered his extremism. The process wasn't easy, but not that difficult either, because, in the end, Lao Wen is kind at heart.
But in the end, being a lone wolf is how he survived and succeeded in a place like the Ghost Valley. When A-Xu was so heavily injured and needed a lot of rest (for Wu Xi) to save his life, Lao Wen suddenly recalled his enemies and how such an excellent opportunity to take revenge just fell into his lap. Everything was in place, and all he needed to do was hide it from A-Xu; he could leave for a short while and have it settled quickly. Upon returning, he could then live happily ever after with his wife. To a crazy lone wolf, why would he not take a gamble?
What he couldn't predict was the news would've been leaked (to A-Xu), and he didn't know that by doing so, he would've forever lost his love.
Both of them were using their own methods to love the other person. Zhou Zishu is more forgiving and accepting because being forgiving is in his blood. While what WKX learned in his years in the Ghost Valley is -- love needs to be protected, like how he has A-Xiang, who he considers a sister, call himself master (to protect her).
Only when faced with painful consequences can a person's deep-rooted habits and approach to things change. So I don't think faking his death ruined the characterisation of Wen Kexing, but I regret that the last two episodes did not have a scene to show us Lao Wen's heartbreak when he learns the truth.
Until I know what it feels like to have lost you, I will only love you in my own way.
T/N:
*I can't think of the correct phrase for this as I don't read all that much about relationships >< please let me know if you know of it. Here, I'm referring to the process of wearing something new (like shoes) that will hurt at the start until it becomes soft and comfortable.
** I did some side-reading, and omg, A-Xu is TOTALLY the lead mare. Although he's not the stallion and weak/dying for most of the show, he's the head of their little family, and he expects "to be obeyed", aka, I'm not going to learn how to cook. Call me for dinner. Kthxbye.
From Rutgers' website: A herd of wild horses consists of one or two stallions, a group of mares, and their foals. The leader of the herd is usually an older mare (the "alpha mare"), even though one stallion owns the herd. She maintains her dominant role even though she may be physically weaker than the others. The older mare has had more experiences, more close encounters, and survived more threats than any other horse in the herd. The requirement of the lead horse is not strength or size; if this were so, then humans could never dominate a horse. Dominance is established not only through aggression but also through attitudes that let the other horses know she expects to be obeyed.
***I think this is important here because WKX wasn't crying for his loss. I think a big part of him was realising not everyone in the world was callous and turned their backs on his parents, that he could've gone his whole life without ever discovering what sacrifices some people have made. Good people suffer quietly and in silence. It's a big moment to realise he was wrong about many things that he had let hatred blind himself to the world. Because although he was sad about the Four Sages and somewhat shocked by Gao Chong's death, he hadn't truly faced up to his actions until now.
(screenshot of the scriptwriter liking the above post)
------
To add:
I'm not sure how many of you read my "opinion" posts, but I've been struggling to find a way to accept the last six episodes of Word of Honor. I first tried looking at open forum postings, comments, and Tumblr posts. None of it worked because it was just arguing and emotions and no one made points good enough for me to accept things.
So I gave up and went back to reading Chinese sites. I found many posts discussing the plot. Some I liked, some I didn't, but none satisfied my need for a reasonable explanation. I felt they had biases (both ways), or else it lacked logic. After a time, I realised that I should be looking for WKX-stans (or pro-WKX fans) because they would be more motivated to explain his side, but also because well-written posts by wenzhou-fans & ZZS-stans made me super sad.
I'm sorry, but those who keep trying to explain why the ending was good completely missed that episodes 32-34 are the real problem to those who don't like it and only focused on 36. I can understand if people don't think those episodes are a problem, but no one could provide an articulate and sensible reason. There are just too few well-reasoned plot-focused posts in English (sorry). I've seen too many examples of WKX-fans arguing with people who are upset about the ending, backed by nothing more than "look how much WKX suffers, woe is him. And how romantic is this????" *dies*
Lastly, if you spot anything inaccurate, let me know & I will correct it.
#word of honor#word of honor meta#wenzhou#opinion#i think this counts as meta#if you think the drama did WKX justice#and that he can do no wrong#in the last 6 episodes#....#......#srsly#you can't claim to ship wenzhou#& think the last 6 eps are perfect
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time to feed the pocket. The vampire!kazuha hcs you requested, m’lady;
-part of kazuha‘s vampire abilities would be increased senses, specifically smell and hearing, since this fits in quite well with his canon descriptions of being able to hear the sounds of nature in what most people would interpret as silence, just make it a little more literal. And of course, his increased sense of smell would help him detect blood nearby and it’s quality (because I guess that’s how you determine that? Idk make it make sense.)
-in order for kazuha to be on beidous ship and not be found out on being a vampire, everytime he stops on land, he has to in take wayyy more blood than he would if he just had a little bit regularly. Blood has little to no shelf life, so he can drink as much of what he can fresh, and then have a stash that he downs for the next, maybe max 4 days while being on board. There’s stuff that could be done to preserve it, like adding anti-coagulant to stop the blood from being clotted and disgusting, but it would remove a lot of important nutrients and proteins and that’s pretty notable considering blood is one of, if not the, most important part of a vampires diet. So whenever he’s finally off ship? He’s very, very, hungry.
-Compared to most vampires, Kazuha is fairly modern and quite poor. This is because while most vampires rely on long lineages of wealth, by the time Kazuha came to inherit belongings, there was no wealth to speak of, even with his family being more well known. So instead of wearing clothes and using tools that could be hundreds of years old like most vampires, Kazuha has had to supplement with buying new things to make up for getting pretty much nothing from his family line.
-in terms of victims, often, he finds himself drawn towards people who ingest a lot of herbs, probably because of his love towards nature.
hope these were ok, I’m a little dry on ideas rite now and I have a fear of blood so I’ve never been good with vampires.
-🐗boar anon
omg boar anon you're too good to me T^T BUT BUT BUT YOU INSPIRED ME TO ADD SOME OF MY OWN!! i seriously hope this doesn't offend you or like?? make you upset >.< but i decided to add some Kazuha x reader hcs cuz why not??? it fits well here, no?? ima go off what you say!
also yours are much better bc im so tired im starting to get a little dizzy- BUT IM ALMOST DONE
also I was tempted to tag this as x reader but I just left it. you can if you want lmao
cut bc I talk about blood ^w^
pre relationship
Kazuha would meet you in Liyue when he's out searching for "food".
I'm sure he can smell all the people around him and they smell really, really good since he's just really hungry! Not that he would just fall prey to his instincts and start attacking everyone
then you would walk by and you'd smell like... nothing (yeah im going against the troupe here lol)
his crimson eyes would follow your figure, causing him to turn his body just to watch you go. He couldn't help it. He had to know you.
Kazuha follows you and somehow manages to introduce himself to you. You're so kind, greeting him with a smile and making his already-dead heart start beating again.
You're so odd, but you're like a breath of fresh air to him (pun intended???)
For the entire time Beidou's docked near Liyue, he spends with you.
Of course, there are days where he can't help but just wonder what your odorless blood would taste like.
Those days where he gets his intense thirsts for blood- days where he's hunched over, grasping at his chest, he can't help but think of you. It would be so easy for him to just take a little bit of your blood- but no! He could never do that!
relationship established
it took Kazuha some time to confess his secret and you were scared in the beginning, who wouldn't be?
the first time kazuha bit you was an accident. He'd ran out of his blood supply, he was hungry, and you were hugging him so tightly.
he couldn't help his instincts. Kuzuha's eyes were glowing and the dryness in his throat could only be quenched with one thing- and you had plenty of it.
he moved so fast, neither of you could react. before kazuha knew it, the blood in your veins was sliding down his throat.
it was sweet and almost tasted like candy to him- it was so addictive. his arms tightened around your waist as he drank away.
you gasped at the pain, shutting your eyes tightly. but you didn't try to push him away, not unless you felt as if you were in danger, but you trusted him enough.
kazuha doesn't drink from you often, he feels bad. There are days where you'll offer- but he'll decline. But there are days where you can barely get the words out before he's inches away from you, ready to bite down.
Kazuha always feels bad after, he's scared he'll hurt you. Yet, he's always so gentle.
he does still go away to sea and you stay behind, but there's a day where he hopes you'll join him. He's never gone for too long and always comes back home to you.
All in all, Kazuha loves you
and your blood
#🌸─ pocket tries#⊱ ─ 🐗 boar anon#look what you did to me lmao#but this was fun#you're awesome <33#not sure if i should tag#this with a tw?#i mention it beforehand
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