#I have to be the funniest person in the room

[sitp-recs]

Hi Liv! Not sure if you do recs anymore but I read the funniest Drunk!Draco fic last night called How Draco Won Spin the Bottle (and Outed Himself in the Process) by written in ash (?) I think.

Do you have any other drunk!draco fics? I may have developed a new obsession

Haha I love this ask! Drunk Drarry is always fun, here are some favourites:

Tastes Like Soap by InnerLilith (E, 4.6k)

Harry goes to the foam party hoping to finally have casual sex. Draco goes to the foam party expecting yet another night of casual sex. Harry and Draco do not have casual sex.

Born Slippy by dracoladon (E, 8k)

Harry finds that it's less 'one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor' and more 'one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, decide Malfoy's quite fit, actually, and decent company after your friends traitorous abandonment, floor.' With Malfoy lying next to you.

Ferocious Determination, Insufficient Deliberation, and a Slightly Wrong Destination by Faith Wood (E, 9.5k)

All Draco wants is sleep, but his bed won't stop talking. More importantly, it refuses to stop looking like Harry Potter.

Tales of Apparation Gone Awry by @thecouchsofa (E, 12k)

These are the things Draco has recently learned:

1: Don’t apparate while drunk or you’ll end up in Potter’s living room without fail. 1a: This is a Big Problem. 2: Draco is unable to keep his mouth shut while drunk. 3: Pansy is a shite friend. 4: Potter has nice thighs. 5: Draco maybe possibly doesn’t mind his apparation problem as much as he lets on. 5a: Potter doesn’t seem to mind much either

One Night at the Leaky by birdsofshore (T, 12k)

Harry should have known better than to accept a drunken dare. Especially when Malfoy was sitting right there, looking like that and wearing those bloody tight trousers.

Party of Two by fireflavored (E, 13k)

Drinking, sex, and a total misreading of the concept of fuck buddies.

Mixed Drinks and Crossed Wires by @korlaena (E, 16k)

Draco is a handsy drunk. Harry is okay with it, really. They’re friends, so it doesn’t mean anything.

Vanilla and Sweet Spices by FleetofShippyShips (E, 20k)

After the others leave an eighth year party, Harry still has the rum he snagged off Dean. But the only person left to drink it with is Draco Malfoy.

Take You Home by @lqtraintracks (E, 26k)

Everybody’s a little fucked up after the war, Draco especially. What starts as hate sex after a night out, eventually turns into something else, something more like comfort. And even though his friends all tell Harry he’s just being used, all Harry’s doing is making sure Draco gets home in one piece. He’s not falling helplessly in love.

Starts With a Spin by Maxine (E, 120k)

It started with the spin of a bottle, and now Harry and Draco have gotten themselves so far into their own game there's almost no way out again. Except to keep playing.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #drunk drarry #drunk draco

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

So I Spied Another Day...

You know it was a good show when you can’t decide whether your heart is so full from all the love and joy, or so empty because it's over.

Really do buckle up, because this is a long one.

So the show went a little like this. They played the Spies pro-shoot on a giant movie screen, but any time a song started, the audio changed to the instrumental track, the video typically faded to simple background graphics, and the cast came out to perform the number live in concert style. There were also a series of audience participation prompts up on the movie screen, such as standing to deliver a line in unison, giving Lauren a standing ovation for the Pay Attention! Reprise, enthusiastically booing Dr. Baron von Nazi and the still infuriatingly catchy Not So Bad (for anyone who’s curious, in addition to encouraging boos and yelled disagreements with von Nazi, they also cut the audience participation bit from the song).

The energy in the room was so electric and full of joy and warmth. People shouted out iconic lines, went wild for everyone’s entrances, and absolutely lost their damn minds over Curtwen at pretty much every opportunity. And the cast were clearly having just as much fun. Doing This has always been my favorite, and there was something so sweet about them singing it again all these years later. We finally got Joey performing Spies Are Forever (Evil Reprise) again and it was just as chilling and beautiful as you’d expect. And One Step Ahead was just on a whole new level. I don’t want to give anything away, but the details in that performance were INCREDIBLE.

It was simply so special seeing most of the original gang come back while also bringing some new friends along. Shout out to Mariah for coming out at the top of the show so ready to play, setting the tone for the whole evening. Shout out to James for putting his comedy chops on full display (LET JAMES BE FUNNY MORE) and dancing the hell out of One More Shot (another favorite number). And shoutout to Carlos Alazraqui (taking over the roles of Sergio and Vladimir Poopin) and Tommy Link for coming into this crazy part of our world with such enthusiasm and silliness. Brian deserves a medal for agreeing to once again play the most cringe-worthy character in all of Pulp-StarCanWrecked history, and for sounding so fucking good while doing it. Tessa was having a blast in full unhinged glory and I gladly worship at her altar. Lauren is maybe the funniest person alive and deserved her standing ovation, prompted or not. Seeing Joe Walker perform live has been Item Number One on my fandom bucket list since I moved to LA a couple of years ago, and I still can’t quite believe I managed it. I’d wondered if he’d be rusty, but honestly he sounded great; it was like no time had passed. Mary Kate still has one of my all-time favorite voices and her Tatiana remains forever engaging. Joey showed up dressed to slay as a gay evil genius Bond-movie supervillain and proceeded to thoroughly deliver on that promise. And Curt… every time I watch Spies I am increasingly blown away by what he does with this arrogant, broken mess of a character. He clearly loves Agent Mega as much as any of us, and to see a performance refined and powered by such clear and thoughtful passion is just a huge treat.

(And while he wasn’t in the cast, I can’t not mention Corey. Between his roles as director and co-writer, so much of what Spies is comes directly from him and we don’t appreciate that nearly enough. And shout out to Esther Fallick for her wonderful work as Susan and the Informant. She might not have been there in person, but her incredible performance was with us the whole time.)

I know this is preaching to the choir, but Spies Are Forever really is such a special show. It’s a story about recovery, and devastating as it can be, I think there’s also something deeply healing about it at its core. For one thing, I know it played a huge role in mending my relationship with my asexuality. I will forever be grateful to it for existing, to TCB, Talkfine, and the original cast for creating it, and to those same people for maintaining its legacy with the amount of love and care it deserves. It was a privilege to be in the room as so many people came to celebrate this miraculous little musical. There were a couple of minor tech glitches (I wonder if they’ll even include the “big one”—the projector jumping over most of the staircase scene before getting fixed—in the digital ticket version), but nothing that could even begin to damper the magic of the night.

We all know that spies never die (except for Owen and the Informant, oops). And at times like this concert, I think this special little show with its short run in 2016 will prove to be just as immortal.

#anyways I just had the best time #and it took a couple of days because I've been so busy but I had to write down how special it all really was #so grateful #spies are forever #spy another day #tin can bros #tcb #tinlightenment #agent curt mega #curt mega #owen carvour #tatiana slozhno #cynthia houston #the deadliest man alive #doctor baron von nazi #the informant #joey richter #lauren lopez #brian rosenthal #corey lubowich #mary kate wiles #mariah rose faith casillas #james tolbert #joe walker #tessa netting #tom lenk #Carlos Alazraqui

[caputstercoris]

Preparing to sing at a birthday party at a karaoke room is a different kind of pressure, like the selection of repertoire you want to grab as "your songs" is so much more stringent. Like they gotta be that sweet spot of nostalgic, funny, entertaining, and in a range that you can sing "fun badly" in. This post is about how I overanalyze social situations and prepare for them like a special ops squad.

#b speaks to no one #I have to be the funniest person in the room #hint hint the list is just Paramore and early Panic #I know nothing else

[bonefall]

Willowpelt sounds SO autistic, it not being funny wraps around into being funny again.

My secret is being so autistic and so surrounded by so many other autistic people that I forget what tismless people even do. Everyone in BB ends up getting a touch of ADHDautism. As a treat.

But yeah when I was jotting it down I realized it too. Like wow, I really hit this one with the autism beam. Me and you, Willy, we will both have adamantine opinions. I cannot condone your hatred of apples but you do have a good point about oak trees.

#Me and Willow are going to have the funniest relationship about those apples #Like wtf girl you haven't had good apples. No i wont force them on you but you're so wrong #It cant even be a texture thing if youre NOT weird about pears #What the hell kind of apples are you eating that are always a little bitter #Fennelposting #My partner has an inverse autism to mine #Which at one point we called dog and cat autism #Because im mr THEY ASKED FOR NO PICKLES #PREPARE FOR 30 MINUTES OF PICKLE RELATED INFODUMPING IN PENANCE #And theyre like If i accidentally make eye contact with a single person in the room i will run away to a monastary and breed pea plants #Which ngl i think would be the funniest way to write Whitewillow #Fire: white is the best choice for deputy! He's so wise and organized and knows exactly how to talk to people #White looks up from his detailed gamefaq guide on How To Win At Talking To Real People which he wrote himself #'I Would Be Honored Thank You.' #Hes organized because if anything is even slightly different he hears The Sirens go off in his brain lmao #Small says 'firestar is still cursed bc he was appointed after moonhigh. I dont respect his deputy either.' #Willow: 'you will join starclan in 7 days but ill make sure ur not late'

[designernishiki]

kiryu sitting haruka down for a really important talk and looking nervous but deeply serious about it and when he finally speaks he gives an honest and vulnerable admission that upon much self reflection, as unlikely as it may seem, as shocking as it may come, he is, in fact, gay, and he hopes this doesn’t make her feel any distress or discomfort in-part due to the implication that he likely didn’t have romantic feelings for her mom, he did care very very much for her regardless of labels, and so on and so on. and she lets him give this lengthy emotional confession that goes on for like twenty minutes before he finally goes dead silent anxiously anticipating her response. and she’s just like. uncle kaz I really appreciate you opening up to me like this and I’m really proud of you for accepting yourself for who you are. but me and every other kid at morning glory figured this out like 10 years ago

#he’s shaking he’s on the verge of tears and she’s just sitting there like. should I act shocked? this clearly means so much to him but #i feel like saying ‘uncle kaz. its not that subtle. you were a bachelor taking care of a bunch of adoptive kids with no interest #in women whatsoever for years. i already know. most people close to you already suspected.’ is a bit anticlimactic #I think about this a lot #cause realistically she would probably be the first person to open up to about it #unless he miraculously put together through Obvious Context Clues that daigo and mine were a Thing (probably YEARS after the fact though) #and then went and asked daigo about it. which would be hilariously awkward and id pay money to see it #he’s so bad at reading the room and like. getting social cues. I feel like he’d finally get a moment where he’s alone with daigo in his #office and would strike right as daigo’s about to make casual conversation like #‘so how have you b–‘ ‘daigo-san do you like men’ #with his typical stoic intense look on his face. poor daigo that’d be mildly terrifying. also the funniest thing he could possibly do #kiryu #haruka #rambling #kazuma kiryu #haruka sawamura #yakuza #amusing follow-up to the initial idea with haruka. he eventually calms down and is relieved and whatnot and says to her kinda casually #‘I’m not sure if I’m ready to tell anyone else. except maybe majima. I’ve been able to trust him for decades with just about anything and I #know he’d never be judgmental–‘ and haruka’s sitting there like. oh god do I have to tell him. someone’s gotta tell him.

[asleepinawell]

So it goes. Whatever this flesh may have been before, it serves only as a vessel now.

#final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv #ffxivedit #zenos yae galvus #fandaniel #gamingedit #myedit #mp #there's so many layers of messed up funny going on here #i love terrible people dragging/clowning on each other #like he literally dug up asahi's corpse just to kick it #which is what asahi deserves so there's that #but zeno's reaction is so funny #even funnier if fandaniel actually expected it to get a rise out of him #i mean he's mocking asahi for the most part but he may also have hoped it would get a reaction of some sort #unclear on that point #zenos' dramatic sighs and almost fallling asleep through this whole scene though...hilarious #fandaniel is trying so hard but zenos is (unintentionally) the funniest person in this room #everything here was just so terrible and perfect #i'm working on continuing my zenos being Normal about the wol series with the bit from the end of this scene #but i realized i'd missed a scene earlier and am going back for that one first #so have this one in the meantime #shadowbringers #shadowbringers spoilers

[mngrsh]

honestly can we e date? you’re so beautiful. You always make me laugh, you always make me smile. You literally make me want to become a better person... I really enjoy every moment we spend together. My time has no value unless it’s spent with you. I tell everyone of my irls how awesome you are. Thank you for being you. Whenever you need someone to be there for you, know that i’ll always be right there by your side. I love you so much. I don’t think you ever realize how amazing you are sometimes. Life isn’t as fun when you’re not around. You are truly stunning. I want you to be my soulmate. I love the way you smile, your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. If I had a star for everytime you crossed my mind i could make the entire galaxy. Your personality is as pretty as you are and thats saying something. I love you, please date me. I am not even calling it e dating anymore because I know we will meet soon enough heart OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i hecking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your boyfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninsterested in me it hecking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i’m begging you to eaither love me back or remove me and never contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you dont love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life.

#sorry i don't have anything funnier to say #mimi is this a copypasta or did you sit down and write this yourself.. #why are you always the funniest person in the room give me some time to shine

[destructix]

i feel like kaito tries to be cool in front of his crushes except with aoko bc he's like her personal jester

#aoko: *enters the room* kaito: brb kudo i have to go be the funniest person in the room #talk tag #u know im sleep deprived if i allow myself to make a silly hc post. self conches #(she does think he is cool though which is. really sweet LMAO)

[crowleyaj]

context: my main plan for 2024 in my journal was "figure out the future & what I'm going to do & where I'm going to live" thinking about summer maybe except last friday during a particularly bad work-related depressive episode I went, fuck it I'm leaving here and found a site and applied for cheap studios in cork and dublin basically in the middle of the night. when I got better I started wondering if I REALLY wanted to leave and may have acted too soon without thinking it through as usual but decided that, you know, what's meant to happen will happen.

then this morning when I was washing my breakfast dishes I dropped a bowl on top of my favourite (and very durable) glass and the glass just snapped in half. at first I was upset but then I laughed thinking, guess this means everything is going to work out and I'm moving out, thanks!! and when I got back from work I found out that not only did I get a place in dublin but my top pick at that. I cannot believe this. the fucking glass. and it was actually still stable so I glued it back together to use for a plant or something. I fixed it. I wonder what it means. anyway. looks like things will work out after all

(it's got a dragon and that's why it's my favourite. out of two. the other one I just use for measuring rice.)

#personal #sofi.txt #text #multiple thoughts in my head #if superstition then why does it work? #the funniest thing is that i overthink tiny things but make big life changing decisions on impulse but somehow they're right #it was so random too because the cork apartment (which i wanted but got declined) was available since may so that's the date i applied for #even with the others #so i'm left with may but 4 months is the perfect amount of time to find a job and still save enough money here to make the move ok #the place is basically a shed in a lady's garden the size of my current living room but it's extremely cool and has everything one needs #and more than i have here in some cases. a DESK #it doesn't look unlike my childhood dream home tbh #and. thinking of palestinians living in tents who don't even have the one room and how lucky i am to be able to have that #or leave this small town willingly for the sake of my own wellbeing and go elsewhere just like this & safe 😭 #dublin has all the major events though and i feel like i can do more there and actually join ipsc (

[quietwingsinthesky]

meanwhile, despite the fact that a dozen people have gone missing in the local area and abigail keeps bringing tupperwares full of food to the bunker, none of tfw ever suspects there's anything weird going on with her or her family.

#okay. doesn't suspect beyond the realistic initial suspicion where they come back one day to a random person in their house #and jack is like 'i made a friend! :3' #cue sam & dean trying to stealthily test her to see if she's a monster who is trying to. idk use jack's powers for evil. #she passes every test and they have to reluctantly agree that she's human and therefore they can't hunt and kill her #(normal conversations to have in the room adjacent to where jack & abigail are playing monopoly. they can hear them btw.) #(funniest option to me here is that lucifer is the only one aware of what's going on and just didn't mention it. it didn't seem important. #no one asked him about it so he didn't say anything. and look. jack's happy! he is being such a good dad for encouraging this!) #jack kline #abigail hobbs #hannibal nbc #spn

[thecosmonautical]

why are so many people lack toes intolerant just cause they are missing a few appendages doesnt mean theyre less than you smdh :(

#i have to be the funniest person in the room or nobody will love me

[untimelyambition]

OHOHOHOHOHO I FUCKING LOVE GENERATION LOSS

#SO COOL I AM LOSING MY MIND #i actually feel physically sick from excitement #the fucking moment when ranboo turns and looks directly into the fucking camera at the end #the walking out into an ENTIRE MALL #and thinking back to everything that just happened in the past two hours #the absolute jump in tone from last episode #all the theories about slime being blood and its implications #the fucking lasers surrounding the diamond and the anvils i can’t stop thinking about that scene #like where they throw vinny across the room. funniest thing i’ve ever seen in my entire life im not joking #like you look at that and compare it to the electrocution at the start and to sneeg getting reset when the hat breaks him free #I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO SAY #one of the coolest things i’ve ever gotten to watch in my whole life #and the fact that it’s live as well like #i cant do it im turning this into my new personality for the foreseeable future #time to now get 4 hours of sleep before i have to go to work #generation loss #genloss #generation loss spoilers #genloss spoilers #ranboo #tilda rambling

[vonlipwig]

The real thing that has changed about Rhys and why he feels sexy now is after probably like 20 something years his wife finally got to him and he realized holy shit I’m hot as hell!! He’s always been sexy but he now carries himself like he’s sexy.

I dunno, dude, seems like he's always been pretty confident

#stop doing this #look I'm sorry but i don't know him personally and i wager neither do you #neither of us have deep insights into his psyche #at best you're going off ~vibes~ and at worst you're projecting #yes he mentioned thinking about rhinoplasty once on cryptid but who's to say how serious that was? or whether it was a throwaway thought #we don't know because we don't know him personally #if you want to think this man whose job is 'i'm the funniest motherfucker in this room and I'll wear the tightest jeans on earth about it' #is some shrinking violet who's been cured by the ofmd fandom then fine that's your lookout #but don't drag me into it because i just like looking at him and listening to his funny stories #sorry #ask

[ufonaut]

It took... everything just to get up here. Pretty stupid, actually. That effort came at the cost of focus. And it’s all I‘ve been able to do to keep the Starheart under control.

Alan Scott in Justice Society of America (2007) #47

#FLASHBACK TO ALAN BEING THE FUNNIEST PERSON TO HAVE EVER LIVED #alan scott #green lantern #pieter cross #dr midnite #justice society of america #jsa #justice society of america 2007 #dc #dc comics #dcedit #comicedit #comicsedit #u can reblog #IM SORRY I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT HIM BLOWING UP THE HOSPITAL ROOM AND GOING TO HIS MOON CASTLE ON THE MOON

[gaymooshroom-archive]

#Thinking abf qwt. #the way early qwt was very much like dream thinking quackity is the funniest person ever but not knowing exactly how to match it #and quackity being SO EXCITED when dream would go along with his bits (ie therapystream roblox stream etc) #and also this slight fond awkwardness of knowing they were 2 of george's favorite people and they both loved him but didnt quite know what #they were to each other #but both of them really obviously wanting to be closer??? which i think we saw a lot in the gta flop stream and that first sapnap alt stream #i think the second red hoodie stream was a turning point for them #like the tom gravy bit they were on the same wavelength the whole time #and that rlly easily transferred into them having a closer friendship #but since like mid 2021 at the absolute latest #its been clear theyve gotten so close :((( #like with q having his own room in the dt house and dream wanting to do a 5/5 meetup as soon as they can #and them teaming for mcc and basketball etc and being so excited about it #like i know i say all the time qwters get fed constantly etc #but im not kidding?? its crazy but we really do get. pretty regular duo content from them #on like twt or streams if theyre both in vc...... Lets see how far weve come by matchbox twenty dot mp3 #txt

[scare-ard--sleigh]

okay so art gallery date thoughts are that j is my boy obvs but WHAT is he doing here. it's interesting. he's so out of place.

damian and Joseph are obviously not close;;; I, in fact, spent this date getting the vibe that damian hates joseph, which does make sense bc damian is so close with Mary.

hugo being surprised thay joseph would paint boats means that not only does he not know that joseph HAS a boat, he's never been in joseph's fucking living room?????

Damian and Hugo are clearly closer to each other than joseph and either of them so who invited him lmao was this a fucking double date or something.

EDIT: one of the last things that's said is "see you around!" and joseph responding with "you will whether you like it or not--we're neighbors!" like????? was that sass??? did he like run into them and talk about going to the art walk himself and find out they were going and got A Vibe when they said "oh i guess we'll see you there then?" ???? (which means that joseph was planning on going to the art walk on his own, which is um. sooooo fucking sad????)

#dream daddyblogging #look yes obviously he's not a saint etc etc etc but j really has No One. this is why i just can't believe that he's ~evil~ inside #he's a very very lonely man. he doesn't seem to have one adult companion (platonic or otherwise) that he can be real with :( #and that's sooooooooo fucking sad!!! oh my god !!!! poor dude is lying to everyone and desperately trying to be the funniest person #in the room at all hours to keep people from finding out how god damn miserable he is #SHUT UP THAT'S SO SAD OKAY HE IS MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW ALRIGHT. #the christiansen mess #for these tags bc holy FUCK .