#I hope everyone likes it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fireladybuckley · 16 days

Text

let the words fall out

coda/speculation for 7x05

T || 6.04k || canon compliant

Buck didn't think he'd ever felt quite so nervous to get out of his car and head into the station as he did after what had happened on Saturday night. Not on his very first day at the 118. Not on the day he’d returned to work after the lightning strike. Not even on his first day back after the lawsuit.

The date with Tommy - it had been going great, until suddenly it hadn't. Eddie's arrival had sent Buck's nerves into overdrive and he'd already been feeling jittery and nervous, it being his first ever date with another man. Tommy had told him to relax, it was okay, it was just Eddie. No big deal. No big deal that his best friend, who had no idea what had transpired between him and Tommy yet, was sitting just far enough away to be out of earshot, but plenty close enough that Buck knew if he turned his head even slightly to the left, he'd see Eddie and Marisol sitting there, clear as day. He could feel Eddie's eyes boring into the side of his head. He could imagine the expression on Eddie's face... trying to figure out exactly what was happening, what he and Tommy were talking about, wondering why Buck hadn't mentioned he was suddenly hanging out with Tommy.

No big deal.

Sure.

or: the one where Buck and Eddie have a huge misunderstanding about the whole Buck/Tommy thing and angstiness goes down

read on Ao3 Thank you to @firemedicdiaz for being my beta reader, as always (love you bb) All line dividers by @firefly-graphics

Tommy had been sweet, doing his best to distract Buck and keep him from spiraling. He’d asked questions about Buck's life and interests and Buck did his best to engage and make conversation, but he felt stiff and anxious the entire time. He doubted Eddie was actually staring at him 100% of the time, but it certainly felt like it, and try as he might, Buck just couldn't force himself to relax. He picked at his food and as soon as Tommy was done eating, Buck had seized the opportunity and suggested they go elsewhere.

Tommy had agreed and they'd left; Tommy waved a friendly goodbye to Eddie as Buck reluctantly turned to glance over at him. He raised a hand in an awkward wave and Eddie's eyes briefly met his. Eddie's expression, which had been a polite smile when returning Tommy's wave, turned more serious and almost cold as he gave Buck a small nod and then looked back down at his food. Feeling a sudden, anxious tightness in his chest, Buck swallowed hard and turned away, following Tommy out of the restaurant. Was Eddie mad at him?

It was a good thing he had been the one driving them because he had a hard time spiraling in his head while paying attention to the road in addition to keeping up a conversation. They went to a nearby pub for a couple of drinks and Tommy was engaging enough that Buck managed to mostly put the matter aside in his mind. After a few hours of talking and laughing, Buck felt at ease again. When he brought Tommy home and was invited in, he agreed, thinking he'd spend a little while there and then head home. He ended up spending the night, and between the making out, the heavy petting, and the early morning murmurings, he was more than distracted enough to completely forget about how Eddie had looked at him.

That was, until he went home the next morning and sat in his empty loft for a while. The euphoria from connecting so deeply with Tommy, the excitement of the rushing feelings of a potential new love, the exhilaration of exploring this side of himself that he'd never realized was there carried him through showering, putting his things away, and making himself some food.

But as he sat there and ate his breakfast, he suddenly remembered the cool look Eddie had given him and felt his giddiness ebb. Had he just been imagining it? Or had Eddie looked almost... angry? He'd been so excited when he'd spotted the two of them, clearly happy that they were getting along, but what if the change in demeanor had happened because he'd realized it was a date? Was he angry that Buck had moved in on his new friend? Or was he angry that Buck, whom he'd thought was straight until that moment, was actually not straight at all?

It had all happened so fast that Buck hadn't had a chance to come out to Eddie - hell, he'd barely had time to absorb the idea himself, let alone tell anyone else. Looking back, his being bi made an incredible amount of sense, but looking forward, it still felt different and new. He wasn't even sure what he would say when he told people. Wasn't it unusual for people to come out this late? Hen had told him once that she'd known she was gay since she was a young teen. Other queer friends he'd had had said similar; they'd known since childhood or at least their teen years.

Buck knew it wasn't exactly unheard of for people in their thirties or older to come out, but it felt unexpectedly awkward when he thought about announcing it to everyone, so he had shelved the idea for the time being. He'd thought that maybe going on a few dates with Tommy would make it feel more real, give him something to build on before he said anything; he hadn't counted on anyone - especially not Eddie - immediately finding out on his very first date.

Gnawing on his lower lip, Buck pulled out his phone and opened up the text screen for Eddie, noting that there were no new messages. Not necessarily an odd thing given that he and Marisol had also been out on a date the night before, but still - after seeing him and Tommy together, Buck had kind of expected texts asking how it had happened. Swallowing another small ripple of anxiety, Buck shot Eddie a text.

Hey Eddie, so... how did your date go last night? Great pizza there, right?

Buck winced as he hit send, realizing how terrible the message sounded, but he wasn't sure what else to say. Was he supposed to just be like "Hey Eddie, so you saw me on my very first gay date, surprise! Btw your new friend is super hot"?

No.

Definitely not.

So he waited. And waited. When he realized Eddie was in no hurry to respond, Buck sighed and finished his breakfast, glancing at his phone every minute or two. Eventually, it finally buzzed. Buck grabbed it so fast he nearly dropped it and fumbled to read the message, which was indeed from Eddie.

It was fine. Yeah, the pizza there is good. Brought some home for Chris and he loved it.

Buck stared at the message, chewing on his lip again. No mention of seeing him or Tommy. No acknowledgement whatsoever of meeting them there, no questions about the situation, nothing. Buck swallowed hard, trying to decide if he should bring it up. Perhaps Eddie was giving him space, letting him decide if he wanted to say anything about it?

Buck spent a good ten minutes typing, then deleting, then typing, then deleting. In the end, he decided he didn't want to have this talk in text, and sent a different message entirely.

Hey, are you busy today? Maybe we could hang out. I could come over or you could come here, either way. If Christopher's not busy he could come too.

Buck expected to wait a while for his reply like he had the first time, and had just set his phone down to take his dishes to the sink when it buzzed again. Heart leaping, he set his plate back down and looked at it.

No, we're busy today. See you at work tomorrow.

Buck's heart sank into his stomach. Eddie usually wasn't so short with him, would usually tell him what they were up to if he couldn't hang out. The immediate shutdown of any chance at a conversation had Buck's blood running cold and he felt anxiety flood through him again. Eventually, he texted back.

Oh, okay. That's okay. See you tomorrow.

Buck set his phone down and covered his face with his hands, rubbed his eyes, ran a hand through his hair. Was he overthinking things? Maybe Eddie really was just busy, maybe he was about to drive somewhere and didn't have time for a proper text. But Buck didn't think so, somehow. Between the look the night before and the bluntness of the texts, the complete absence of acknowledgment of the date... Buck knew something was wrong. But he also didn't want to press Eddie; he knew that could make the situation worse and he was scared that if he said the wrong thing, Eddie would be even more pissed at him.

Clearly, Eddie was not impressed that Buck was moving in on his new friend. Buck knew that Eddie had wanted Tommy and himself to get along, but Buck supposed that going out with Tommy without Eddie had been stepping over a line. Remembering the jealousy he had felt only a few days prior, he wondered if it was a similar situation, that Eddie was hurt that Buck didn't invite him along. Or was it something more?

Buck twisted himself into knots all day long as he went about his daily chores, went to the gym, sat down to watch a TV show. Eddie didn't message him again. Tommy did and Buck spent some time texting with him, but the whole time he just felt this nagging sense of unease.

At least they had a shift the next day. Once they were face to face, Buck could tell Eddie he was sorry he hadn't told him they were going out without him, and resolved to invite him along next time. He still wasn't sure whether Eddie knew it had been a date date or just an outing, but he wasn't sure if it mattered - in his mind, Eddie was mad because Buck went behind his back and invited Tommy out without him, nothing more.

So, that morning, Buck pulled up to the station and sat in his car for a minute, glancing around the lot. Eddie's truck was already there and Buck took a few deep breaths before he jumped out and headed inside. His only goal that day was to smooth things over with Eddie, unable to stand the idea that his best friend was mad at him, filled with the need to make it right.

Buck walked into the station with his bag slung over his back, searching for Eddie as he headed towards the lockers. People greeted him and he nodded, returning the greetings distractedly as he passed them, eyes peeled. He made it to his locker without seeing Eddie so he quickly ditched his stuff and changed into his uniform, then headed upstairs to the kitchen. Eddie was seated at the counter, drinking coffee and talking to Bobby. Buck's heart skipped a beat when he saw him and he started forward, but before he could even get close, the tones went off.

"We're starting early today, I guess," Bobby sighed, setting down the baking tray he'd been about to put in the oven. Everyone got up and hurried downstairs and Buck was just about to greet Eddie as he moved to jump up into the back when Bobby called over to him.

"Buck, you're driving today!"

"Oh," Buck said, stopping short as Eddie darted past him without a word. "Okay, Cap."

Buck hopped up into the driver's seat, making a plan in his head for when they returned, how he'd corner Eddie and talk to him. But the entire day went like that - every time they came back to the station and Buck approached Eddie, the tones went off and they had to run again. All day and evening, Buck was unable to start a conversation with Eddie, and even during mealtimes, Eddie was seated too far from him to have any kind of private conversation.

At first, Buck thought it was all just a coincidence, but after lunch, supper, and a late night meal came and went without Eddie being closer than three seats away, he was starting to suspect it was on purpose. All night, whenever they didn't have a call, Eddie made sure he was near other people and while Buck could join them, it was impossible to have any kind of private chat. Every time he tried to talk to him, Eddie would answer politely enough but he refused to meet Buck's eyes and quickly changed the subject or engaged someone else in conversation.

Twenty hours into the twenty four, Buck noticed Eddie moving away from the group to head towards the washroom and, desperate to connect with him, Buck followed, lurking nearby the door as he waited for him to finish. Maybe he was standing a little too close because the door swung open and nailed the back of his boot, not hurting him but causing a loud thunk noise that startled both of them.

"Whoa, sorry - oh." Eddie's tone was light and apologetic at first, not knowing who he'd hit with the door, but his tone dropped and he frowned as he saw who it was.

"Buck, what are you doing? Did you really follow me to the bathroom?"

Buck swallowed, suddenly unable to speak, his mouth dry. Eddie was clearly unhappy to see him there and it was so different from his usual reception that it made Buck feel like he wanted to cry.

"I, well- you- you didn't really give me a choice," Buck said nervously, stumbling over his words. "I've been trying to talk to you all day."

"I know," Eddie replied dryly, looking everywhere but into Buck's gaze.

"Oh..." Buck swallowed. "You knew I wanted to? Then why—"

"Because I don't want to talk to you right now," Eddie said flatly, staring at a spot over Buck's left shoulder.

The colour drained from Buck's face as he stared at Eddie, feeling dizzy, feeling like the world was spinning, feeling like he was about to explode into a million miserable pieces.

"W-what? Why? W-why don't you—" Buck asked, his voice wavering as he struggled to keep it together.

"Do you really not have any clue why I might be irritated with you right now?" Eddie asked sharply, glancing directly at him for a split second before avoiding his eyes again.

"I..." Buck faltered, hesitating. "Is it because I didn't tell you that Tommy and I were going out together? I swear we weren't trying to exclude you or anything, it just kind of happened, and-"

"Buck, I don't care if you have other friends. Hell, I really wanted you and Tommy to get along." Eddie said in a tone that Buck was having a hard time identifying. Was it anger? Resentment? Annoyance? Buck couldn't tell and he was getting frustrated. Why wouldn't Eddie just look at him?

"Wanted... like past tense?" Buck asked cautiously. "Do you not still want us to?"

"Well, I think you're probably getting along better than I ever would have suspected," Eddie said, in that same unidentifiable tone. He paused for a moment and then added - still without making eye contact - in a biting tone that stung Buck with every word. "That was a date, right? Not just dinner between friends? Are you two actually dating?"

Buck felt like the ground was shaking, like a hole was about to open up and swallow him. Or he kind of wished it would, anyway. He felt dizzy; so Eddie knew it was more than friendship, that he and Tommy had been on a date... and he was not happy about it? That tone was sharp, bitter, even angry... and Buck didn't know how to react. Was this really about Tommy? Or something deeper?

A thought that hadn't occurred to Buck suddenly hit him like a freight train; what if Eddie was actually angry that Buck wasn't straight? They had never talked about it before, and though Buck knew Eddie generally had no problem whatsoever with queer people, was it somehow different now that he knew Buck wasn't straight? Could Eddie actually be homophobic? Buck had never even entertained that thought, but as he looked at the anger that Eddie was barely holding back, he felt like he'd just been punched in the face. Hurt coursing through him, he finally found his voice.

"Is that a problem?" Buck asked, his voice smaller than he would've liked. Eddie sniffed in an annoyed way and shook his head like he couldn't believe him, and Buck felt a flicker of anger suddenly well up inside of him.

"Do you have a problem with me? Are you actually pissed that I'm not straight?" Buck asked fiercely, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

Dead silence.

After another silent moment, Eddie finally looked him full in the face, and Buck was struck dumb by the intensity of the anger and hurt in Eddie's expression. They stared at each other for several long moments, Buck's emotions in turmoil in his gut. Confusion, anger, hurt, fear, all swirling through his insides, threatening to send him toppling to the floor if the silence stretched on any longer. Just as he was about to explode from the tension, Eddie spoke.

"Do you really think so little of me?" Eddie asked, his voice tight with tension, anger, and disbelief. "Do you really think I would have a problem with you being gay?"

Buck stared at him, completely unsure, worried that he'd really fucked up with that question, because he had never seen such an expression on Eddie's face before. And if he was being honest, no, he'd never actually thought that Eddie would have a problem with it, but he was still so angry about something and Buck just didn't understand what it was.

"B-but you've been acting like you hate me since you saw us together," Buck said quickly, his voice shaking, "if it's not that it's Tommy, and it's not that we didn't invite you, then what else could it be if not because I'm--"

"We're done here," Eddie snapped, cutting him off and shaking his head in disgust. Before Buck could say anything, Eddie had stalked quickly down the hallway and disappeared into the kitchen area. Trembling from the adrenaline and anxiety of the confrontation, Buck went into the washroom and sat on a toilet for a long time, his head in his hands, his mind reeling.

There was only one more call before the shift ended and Buck quietly asked Bobby if he could be the man behind. Bobby could clearly see that something was wrong, but Buck shook his head to indicate that he didn't want to get into it and Bobby shrugged.

"Sure, kid. You can stay. But let me know if you need to talk about anything, okay?" Bobby said, looking him directly in the eyes and gripping his shoulder.

Buck nodded, patting Bobby's arm in an attempt to indicate his thanks but not trusting himself to speak. He was exhausted after the shift and with all the emotional turmoil, he was afraid he'd start crying at Bobby's kindness.

The team left and Buck hid in the bunkrooms for most of the rest of the shift. The engine came back just minutes before the shift ended, and Buck watched them stream into the locker rooms from up in the loft, watched Eddie studiously not looking up at him as he headed off to change and then left.

Only once Eddie was gone did Buck himself leave, driving home in a daze without even turning the radio on, thinking of everything and nothing all at the same time. He eventually found his way into his apartment and started his usual after-shift rituals - undressing, showering, making breakfast. He had poured himself some orange juice and sat down before he even realized what he was doing, so distracted that he wondered vaguely who had made the eggs on his plate, because he certainly did not remember making them.

Halfway through eating, he gave up. He couldn't focus. He kept checking his phone every minute or two. He had a feeling that if he texted or called Eddie, he wouldn't get an answer. Buck knew he wasn't going to be able to get any sleep. There was only one thing he could do.

Abandoning his half-eaten breakfast, Buck grabbed his keys and went back out to his Jeep, determined to fix their issues. It was after eight in the morning, he knew Chris would be gone for school and Eddie would probably be alone.

Buck drove to Eddie's house, squirming and anxious the whole time, wishing it wasn't rush hour as it took nearly twice as long as it should have to get there. Finally he reached the house and sat for a while just looking at it. Part of him didn't even want to go in - the idea of more confrontation made him feel sick. But he also knew he would never get any kind of meaningful rest or even feel normal until they worked out whatever was happening. Eddie was far too important to him to let this slide.

Buck finally steeled himself, took a deep breath, and got out of his Jeep. At the door, he knocked and waited.

Knocked and waited.

Knocked a third time. Waited.

Nothing.

Buck knew Eddie was home; his truck was in the driveway. He supposed that maybe Eddie was sleeping but he doubted it. The anger and hurt Buck had seen in Eddie's eyes had been potent enough that Buck was sure that he wouldn't be able to sleep either. Buck knocked a fourth time; still nothing.

"Come on, Eddie," Buck called through the door. "I know you're home. Let me in."

Still nothing. Frustrated, angry, and now a little worried, Buck decided to take matters into his own hands. Finding Eddie's key on his keyring, he unlocked the front door and slipped inside, locking it again behind him. The house was quiet, the living room empty. Buck stuck his keys back into his pocket and cautiously moved down the hallway into the kitchen.

Eddie was seated at the kitchen table, reading, and Buck saw that he had ear buds in his ears. Feeling slightly relieved because at least he now assumed Eddie hadn't heard him knocking, he started to lift his hand and open his mouth to say hello when Eddie's eyes shifted upwards and found him. He started slightly, then his mildly surprised expression turned into a scowl. He reached up and took the earbuds out, almost glaring at him.

"Seriously, Buck? You just let yourself in? Can't you take a hint?" Eddie asked, irritated, setting down his e-reader and frowning at him. He didn't seem overly surprised that Buck had let himself in, but he didn't sound pleased.

"Well, I— I don't know, I-I wanted to talk to you... plus I thought maybe you didn't hear me knocking?" Buck said, a little hopefully, gesturing to the earbuds on the table.

"Why do you think I was wearing them?" Eddie asked flatly, taking a sip of his coffee. "I thought you'd get the hint after I didn't answer the door, but apparently not."

Buck felt the words hit him like a slap and anger flickered in his gut again - why was Eddie being such a jerk? Okay, Buck understood that clearly Eddie didn't want to talk, but why was he being so rude? It was so unnecessary and the anger made Buck feel stronger, more confident to speak.

"Why are you acting like this?" Buck asked indignantly. "I didn't do anything to you, all I did was go on a date with a guy and now you're— you're acting like— like I mortally offended you because I'm not straight, or-"

Eddie let out a derisive snort and stood, taking his empty coffee cup to the counter, his back turned to Buck. Buck glared at the back of Eddie's head, the anger fueling him into opening his mouth again.

"You claim you don't care that I went out with Tommy," Buck said, the volume of his voice rising, "and you claimed you'd never be angry that I wasn't straight--"

"And I meant it," Eddie snapped, cutting in with a glance over his shoulder, though not turning around. Buck took a breath, trying to reel in his emotions, but kept going on, his voice still rising with emotion.

"Then what is it? What have I done to offend you so much that you won't even look at me? Why are you being such a- a-" Buck sputtered himself into stopping, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. Eddie turned slowly, scowling, his arms crossed over his chest.

"A what?" he demanded, one eyebrow crooked. "What exactly am I being?" His tone was still irritated, taunting even, and Buck, feeling egged on, didn't hesitate.

"A bitch. You're being a total bitch about this and I don't get it, Eddie." Buck's voice cracked, but he forced himself to stay on track. Eddie was glaring at him, still angry - though Buck suspected he saw the slightest hint of amusement at being called a bitch - and it spurred him on.

"If you're not mad that it's Tommy, if you're not mad that I'm... um, not straight..." Buck swallowed, still struggling to feel normal about saying that when it had only been a few days and he still wasn't used to it. He continued, his voice filled with anger, hurt. "Then what is it? What could I possibly have done to offend you so badly?"

Arms still crossed, Eddie stared down at the floor near Buck's feet as Buck waited, breathing fast, nearly shaking with the adrenaline once again. He expected Eddie to react angrily, to feed off the energy that Buck was putting out, but as he watched, Eddie seemed to deflate.

Eddie let out a deep, ragged sigh and leaned back against the counter, uncrossed his arms, and ran a single hand through his hair. When he finally looked up and met Buck's eyes, Buck could still see anger there, but now he also saw sadness and felt the confusion rising in him again.

"You really don't understand?" Eddie asked, and his voice was much calmer, his tone more resigned than angry. Buck responded to this reduction in intensity and lowered his own voice, though it still shook a little with emotion.

"I don't, Eddie," Buck agreed with some relief, a little bit of desperation colouring his voice now. "Would I be here begging you to tell me what it is if I actually did understand?"

Eddie bobbed his head to the side as though Buck had a point. Buck waited again, on tenterhooks, as Eddie let out another small sigh and looked at him again.

"How long have you known?" Eddie asked quietly, meeting his eyes for a moment but then dropping his gaze to the floor again.

"Known..." Buck repeated, blank. "Known what?"

Eddie gave him a look that said come on, and shook his head a little.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Eddie asked and Buck frowned as he watched the rest of Eddie's anger dissolve, replaced by sadness and a little indignance of his own.

"Tell you--" Buck started, but Eddie kept going.

"I mean, I’d understand if I wasn't the first person you told," Eddie went on, "someone like Hen would make sense, or your sister, or..."

Eddie trailed off and looked up just as it hit Buck what Eddie was talking about.

"Oh! You mean, how long have I known... why didn't I tell you I was... is that what you meant?" Buck asked, realization finally dawning on him as Eddie nodded, a slightly exasperated look on his face.

"Yeah, I mean... when I saw you guys, when I realized it was an actual date... I was like "oh that's cool, I didn't know"... but then I started wondering why I didn't know," Eddie said, standing up straight and starting to pace around the kitchen. Buck wanted to interrupt but found that he couldn't, his eyes glued to Eddie, following his path around the table as he spoke.

"I wondered if you didn't trust me, or you thought I would treat you differently, or..." Eddie seemed to hesitate, but then plowed on. "Or worse, I wondered if you thought I would judge you. That I wouldn't want to be around you because of it."

Buck stared at him, startled by the worry in his voice, feeling a rush of relief and affection for Eddie flooding him as the other man spoke.

"Eddie, no, that's not-- no! I never thought that," Buck tried to assure him, but Eddie's gaze was still worried and a little hard as he met Buck's.

"Are you sure about that? Last night you seemed pretty convinced that I was angry that you were gay."

"Yeah, but that's only because I couldn't figure out why you were mad," Buck said quickly, an earnest edge to his voice. "I'm not entirely sure I understand now, but--"

"I was afraid that you don't know me at all, despite being friends for so long," Eddie admitted.

"I would never judge you... but I was pissed because suddenly I see you out on a date with a guy that you seemed to despise, and I started wondering if you'd been putting on an act to hide from me that you actually liked him, that you didn't trust me enough to tell me. You seemed so awkward and freaked out that I'd seen you that I started thinking you intentionally hadn't said anything... And yeah I guess I got angry, I was hurt that you hadn't told me, and the idea that you thought I'd judge you for not being straight upset me so much that it turned into-- well, it turned into me being a bitch about it," Eddie finished, a tiny smirk curling the corner of his lips.

Buck let out a small, relieved - but still nervous - laugh and felt himself relax just a little, relieved that now at least he knew what was wrong.

"Eddie, I swear, it was nothing like that. I swear. I don't think you would ever judge me like that. I trust you." Buck told him, and the sincerity in his voice seemed to reassure Eddie, who looked up at him again and held his gaze.

"I believe you. But still, why didn't you tell me? If you didn't think I would judge you, then... why?" Eddie asked, getting a second coffee cup out of the cupboard and filling it and his own with more coffee from the pot. He sat down at the table, and gestured for Buck to do the same, setting the coffee mug in front of him.

"Honestly?" Buck replied as he sat across from Eddie and sighed, curling his fingers around the cup. "I genuinely didn't realize until Tommy kissed me a few days ago."

Eddie had just taken a sip of his coffee and choked a little at those words, coughing and setting down his cup as he looked over at Buck.

"He kissed you, what-- just out of nowhere, or?" Eddie asked, surprised. "I mean, I knew he wasn't straight but I didn't know he was going to ask you out."

"Neither did he," Buck said with a bit of a nervous chuckle, taking a sip of his coffee. He began to tell Eddie what happened, feeling awkward at first but relaxing a little as he spoke. Tommy had been right - it was just Eddie. His best friend. He could tell him anything.

Buck told him about how Tommy had come over to apologize for getting in the way of his and Eddie's friendship, how Buck had realized that while he'd been jealous at first, he'd actually been trying to get Tommy's attention, and then how the kiss had just... happened, and how the date had been made right after, and how Buck had been just as surprised as anyone else would be that he was seriously attracted to Tommy. To guys in general.

"And you really didn't know?" Eddie asked after a few moments of silence, as Buck drummed his fingers on placemat under his cup, tracing the outline of a dinosaur - a set of prehistoric placemats that Chris had begged for one time when they'd gone to Target together.

"I mean, I think I had suspected, a little," Buck said thoughtfully. "It's definitely never bothered me when someone thought I was gay or anything, and I always felt like there was something... off, you know? Something missing, I guess, when I thought about relationships and who I was attracted to."

Eddie nodded slowly, clearly thinking, and Buck drained his coffee and continued.

"But I guess I didn't realize it in reality until it was right there in front of me," he mused, and Eddie smiled slightly. "What?"

"You didn't realize until what was in front of you - Tommy, or the gay awakening?" Buck laughed and shook his head, lifting his hands slightly as though in surrender.

"I guess they're one and the same in this case," Buck admitted and Eddie laughed. "But I think I'm bi. Bi makes sense, because I do still like women... I just like men too."

Eddie nodded and Buck took it as a gesture of acceptance and love. A much more amicable silence fell over them as Buck, feeling generally at ease but still a tiny bit nervous, fiddled with his cup while Eddie finished his. After a while, Buck looked up and Eddie smiled at him, a teasing glint in his eyes.

"So, is Tommy a good kisser?" Eddie asked, feigning innocence as Buck threw a napkin at him.

"Oh shut up," Buck said, laughing. He paused, thinking about it. "Although... yeah, yeah he is."

Eddie snorted and rose, grabbing their cups and moving back towards the coffee maker.

"The man could charm the birds from the trees, of course he's a good kisser," Eddie commented, pouring them both more coffee and turning around to hand one to Buck. "Do you like him?"

Buck paused, turning the mug slowly in his hands and staring at the swirling milk Eddie had added for him. He wondered if maybe Eddie was hiding something from him too, the way he talked about Tommy, but Buck decided not to bark up that tree just yet.

"Yeah," he answered, slowly at first, but then with more confidence and a smile. "Yeah, I think I really do."

Eddie smiled, and nodded.

"Then I'm cool with it. As long as you're happy, Buck, that's all I care about."

Buck struggled to find words to say, touched by Eddie's acceptance and care for him, but nothing came to him. Eddie seemed to understand and smiled again, reaching out to squeeze Buck's shoulder tightly before moving over to the fridge and looking inside.

"You hungry? I can whip us up some eggs and bacon," Eddie suggested, glancing over his shoulder at him.

Buck felt his stomach growl at the mention of bacon and nodded with a grin.

"That sounds great," he agreed and watched as Eddie pulled everything they needed out of the fridge.

As he helped cook, Buck couldn't help but feel grateful for how normal everything felt again. Eddie understood now and everything was fine. Buck had been so worried about coming out and it hadn't been a big deal at all. He knew it wouldn't always be that easy, but as he stood in Eddie's kitchen like he'd done a million times before, making food with him and talking and laughing, Buck felt like he was already on the right track to living his life the way he was truly meant to.

Thanks for reading! Please reblog to share if you enjoyed it <3

It's been so long since I posted a fic I'm not sure anyone on my tag list is still interested, but here we go:

@firemedicdiaz @diekatimitdemhutohnehut @inuhimesblog @godlightbuckley @bicepsie @floralbuckleys @morganayenneferburnham @fleurdebeton @tulipfromtheinternet@princessbb

If you're on my tag list and don't want to be, or if you aren't on it and you'd like to be, please send me a message or an ask! <3 (Apologies to a few on my tag list - your usernames have changed and I don't know what your new URLs are, I'm so sorry)

#911 fanfic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #bucktommy #911 #buddie #kinda #please be kind #this is the first fic I've written in quite a while #i hope everyone likes it #fireladybuckley fic

55 notes · View notes

pinkstations · 14 days

Text

PinkStations Cotton Candy Recolor

~ A pretty recolor based on bright & cute colors! ~

#Oh my god guys its out #Ive poured my heart and soul into this #I hope everyone likes it #stardew valley #stardew valley mods #sdv #sdv mods #my mods

25 notes · View notes

lilbluebastard · 4 months

Text

Drawing Anderson like one of my French girls

There are spicy alternates to this but I’m to shy to show them because Yee……

So! here’s a lil body head cannon of my wife!

#hellsing ultimate #alexander anderson #father anderson #alexanderanderson #he’s my wife #hairyman #bullet scars #burn scars #scratch #marks #i hope everyone likes it #my wife is posing for me! 😳#he’s my new French girl

23 notes · View notes

lycanfoe · 2 months

Text

herbwolf tears (she/her for herb)

#my art #artists on tumblr #cookie run #werewolf cookie #herb cookie #herbwolf #yeah this might be the most indulgent yet!#i hope everyone likes it #i might get embarrassed idk.#theres some spelling mistakes

12 notes · View notes

sunshinechay · 3 months

Text

You know I’m really starting to wonder if the reason why Prom seems so sus is because we are seeing him largely from everyone else’s perspective and not his own.

He definitely isn’t not suspicious, but I’m not quite sure anymore if he’s suspicious because he’s actually suspicious or if because everyone else assumes that he is

#playboyy the series #prom pts #i had a bigger point #but i lost it #so here’s a half formed thought #i hope everyone likes it #cap watches playboyy #cap speaks

16 notes · View notes

malarkgirlypop · 6 months

Text

LEMONADE Chapter 1 (Eugene Sledge x Fem!OC)

Hello! This is the first chapter to my new OC story. I hope you all enjoy! I love the Pacific and especially Eugene! Stay tuned for more chapters to come, I have some ideas of how I want this story to play out. I hope you all enjoy! This is based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters no hate to anyone involved.

“Something sweet?” I ask, handing out cool lemonade to the weary marines who pass by the table. The nurse beside me fills the cups, as I hand them out to the men. I make sure I smile and look them in the eye like Ellie had told me beforehand, “You can’t look at the ground Hazel, you have to look happy to be there!”. I was always shy in school, keeping my friends to girls. Boys scared me too much with their rough and tumble. I always liked to be neat and tidy, however the boys at my school were chaotic and dirty. My older sister seemed to be the same, until one day when she was 18, she arrived at the house with a man on her arm and declared him her true love, and that they were to be wed. They had come for my father’s blessing. I still remember the day vividly.

I set the china down on the table with the knives and forks, the front door left open to let the cool breeze pass through the stuffy house. My father lounged in his chair, puffing on his pipe and reading the newspaper. As my mother fussed in the kitchen over the roast she had done.

“Will Liesl be here for dinner Haze?” My father called from the lounge.

“She said she was going to Anna's house to see her new dog, she didn’t say when she would be home.” I called back as I straightened the forks.

“Well she best be here quick, dinner is ready.” My mother chirped as she pulled the chicken out of the oven in a cloud of steam. The savoury smell filling the house. I put glasses on the table filling mine with cool water, my parents with wine. I heard the front gate’s signature squeak as it opened, I cast my eyes to the open front door. To my surprise my sister Liesl proudly marched up the front path with a man on her arm. Liesl walked with her head held high, I couldn’t say the same for the man she dragged along with her. His face was flushed, a sheen of perspiration on his brow. He sheepishly ducked his head as they entered the house. My mother appeared behind me holding a platter in her hands to put on the table.

“Mother!” Liesl said proudly, “This is James, and I am going to marry him.” My eyes widened at her bold statement, I glanced back at my mother who had gone as white as a sheet. I could hear the grunt of my father getting out of his recliner. He ambled into the dining room.

“Liesl, what on earth are you talking about?” My father inquired.

“Sir!” James said, reaching forward to shake my father’s hand. He looked down at the outstretched hand in front of him and turned his gaze back towards my sister. James dropped his hand as he awkwardly put it back by his side, fidgeting with the suit jacket he wore. No wonder he was sweating. It was so hot today and that woollen blazer looked thick. I said nothing my eyes darting from one face to another, my sister look firm, James looked like he was about to faint, same as my mother, who had managed to put the chicken down on the table without dropping it from pure shock, my father wore a deep frown, one he mostly used when he was about to giving us a talking to. I flicked my gaze back to Liesl, to see what she was going to do next.

“I came to ask for your blessing, Father. But I will still marry him even if you do not approve of it.” Liesl asserted, James cringed beside her looking rather uncomfortable.

“Liesel, you cannot march into this house with a man we have never met and demand us to bless the marriage!” My father boomed in rage, I shrunk down even though I was not the one who was being told off.

“How did you even meet? When did you meet? Who is he?” My mother blurted questions, as my father nodded in agreement.

“We met a couple of months ago at the dance. He had moved from across the state and we knew it was love.” My sister answered the questions.

“My god Liesl you cannot marry someone you met a couple of months ago!” My father said in outrage.

“Father, I love him and he loves me!” Liesl screeched in anger.

“I do love your daughter dearly.” James interjected.

“Pipe down blazer!” My father shut him down quickly. James’ mouth snapped shut.

“Father, please I love him. I want to marry him!” Liesl begged my father who huffed in frustration. He turned towards my mother to gauge her opinion. Liesl gave her best big puppy dog eyes, that she knew my father had a hard time saying no to. He was soft for his sweet daughters, he loved us ever so much. Another sigh left his lips as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to ease the headache that had come with the ordeal.

“Fine.” He said curtly. We all paused in shock, no of us even breathed.

“Really?” Liesl beamed. A wide grin spread across her face as she rushed forward to hug our father, giving him a big kiss on his cheek. He shook his head, but he couldn’t stop the small smile that graced his lips.

“Hazel, put out another plate for…” My father said, looking at James to help him finish his sentence.

“James White, but everyone calls me Jamie.” He said stepping forward, again reaching out for my father’s hand. He took Jamie’s hand giving it a firm squeeze as they shook. I’m sure it was meant as a silent warning.

By the next weekend they had been wed, Jamie was a good man and loved my sister very much. They made a splendid couple, I don’t think I have ever seen my sister so smitten. But not long after the war had broken out. Jamie had enlisted and much to my sisters dismay he was shipped off with the Marines to the Pacific to fight the Japanese. After he had left my sister moved back in with my parents, not wanting to be alone. She cried herself to sleep every night, I heard her muffled sobs through the walls. Whenever she had received a letter from him she would read it back to front, enough times she could recite every word with her eyes closed. Then one day she had received a letter, but it was a letter you dread to see. It was from the military itself. She and I sat on the front steps together as she stared at the unopened envelope.

“Do you want me to read it, Liesl?” I asked gently, bumping into her with my shoulder. She nodded wordlessly handing me the paper. I tore into the letter, pulling it from its sleeve.

“Do you want me to read it out loud to you?” I asked again, not having opened the folded over paper, scared as to what it was going to say. My stomach knotted, as she nodded again. I flattened out the paper so I could read it.

“We regret to inform you.” I started, as my eyes scanned the letter. My heart clenched, I took a deep breath. “That your husband James White was killed in action.” The words fell off my tongue. I didn’t bother to read the rest of the letter, not that it would be heard anyway. The howls from my heart broken sister filled the air. Tears welled in my eyes as I watched her rock back and forward screaming in agony. My mother was quick to appear from the kitchen. Wrapping her in her arms and stroking my hair as Liesl wailed. I let the tears from my eyes fall as I watched the scene unfold. My father stood in the doorway with his own red rimmed eyes.

But that was years ago now. After Jamie had died Liesl wanted a job, anything to distract her from her grief. She applied to be a nurse, to help in the war and had dragged me with her. I was then freshly 18 but they were taking anyone who applied really. Liesl after her training, got moved to one of the basecamps where the men trained before they were shipped out. I, on the other hand, was put through more in depth training. Due to my bright nature I moved quickly through the classes they had for the nurses. The girls I was with were to be shipped off to the Pacific as well. To be based on an island where the men could be treated first, so that they didn’t have to send all of the injured people home.

#the pacific x oc #eugene sledge #snafu #ack ack #hbowar #I hope everyone likes it #Let me know what you think #thank you for reading #my OC #fanfiction #fanfic

12 notes · View notes

emjiroki · 2 months

Text

yuuta fic is at 2k+ words and I'm almost done! Birthday is thursday so we'll be done in time! 🥳

#writing yandere is harder than i expected but im having a lot of fun!#ive asked my husband so many questions for reference i might make him read it as one of my birthday presents hehe #i hope everyone likes it #yuuta okkotsu #em writes ✍#em talks 👄

3 notes · View notes

january-summers · 8 months

Text

Campfire Kiss

Fandom: Winx Club Pairings: Stella/Bloom Rating: gen? teen? Tags: all the Winx girls show up, Farm/Ranch AU, Musician AU, technically a Youtuber AU but that wasn't really specified in the text. Meet Cute|Meet Ugly, romance, kind of slice of life, pig (named after my fav tepig), unbeta'd, rabies mentioned, AUroulette2023 Word count: 2,300 (ish)

Bloom is shifting hay bales in the barn's loft when she hears the scream. It's sharp and high and full of terror, Bloom doesn't even register how unfamiliar it is until she's already down the ladder and out the barn door.

She slows as she takes in the sight of three young women, all strangers to her, then speeds up when she spots Pork-chop, their largest, most adventurous pig on top of a fourth young woman, the screaming one.

“Pork-chop!” Bloom yells at him as she races over, but the large beast barely gives her his attention. His mouth is full of foamy drool, his jaw moving as he chews on something that might be attached to the screaming woman. “Pork-chop, drop it!”

Bloom's command is punctuated by a smack to Pork-chop's side, but all he does is shuffle in place.

With an annoyed sigh, Bloom moves around to his head and bypasses him completely, reaching down to put her arms under the other woman's armpits and pull her up. There's a tearing sound as whatever Pork-chop was chewing rips free of the woman's clothes.

The woman, blonde hair tousled and drool damp, looks at Bloom with terrified eyes.

“Do I have rabies now?” she asks, and Bloom tries not to laugh.

“What?”

“It was frothing at the mouth!” The blonde exclaims. “That's a sign of rabies! ...Right?”

Bloom can't help it, she laughs, even as she catches sight of just how badly the blonde's fancy dress has been torn. Bloom pulls the plaid shirt from around her own waist, tied there when the labour of moving hay had made her too warm, and wraps it around the blonde.

“Pigs just have frothy spit sometimes, I promise he's not rabid.” Bloom looks the other three over and asks, “what are you all doing here anyway, this is private property.”

“We have permission from the owner,” comes the reply, mildly defensive. “Daphne said it would be okay for us to film a music video on her farm.”

Bloom frowns, trying to remember if her sister has mentioned anything like that, but she's distracted when the blonde whines, holding up her spit-riddled hair.

“We only just arrived,” another of the young women explains, “and we were trying to head up to the house, but the, uh...” she gestures to the fences and then to Pork-chop, and Bloom understands immediately.

The way from the front gate to the buildings is more convoluted than it looks, a byproduct of moving the driveway and some but not all of the fences in their renovations over the last few years. They'd obviously taken the wrong entrance and ended up closer to the barns where Pork-chop's latest escape attempt had brought him into contact with them.

Bloom nods, “Yeah, the entry is a bit muddled, we're still renovating it. Anyway, I'm Bloom, I'm Daphne's sister, I don't know anything about your music video, but I can take you up to the house to find Daphne.” Bloom pauses and gives the blonde a obvious once over. “And a shower.”

“Oh my gosh, yes, thank you!” The blonde says, looking ready to cry. “I'm Stella by the way. And this is Aisha, Musa, and Tecna.”

“Hey,” Bloom greets the newly introduced women, then jerks her head towards the house, “come on.” The women begin to follow her as she escorts Stella, one arm wrapped around the blonde, and Bloom glares back at Pork-chop, the pig still chewing on whatever he'd torn from Stella's dress. “Don't think this is over Pork-chop,” Bloom warns him before they get too far away.

Bloom leaves Stella and her friends in Daphne and Flora's care at the house and ducks out to get back to her chores only to find Pork-chop still chewing outside the barn. In the end she has to get Roxy's help to finally get Pork-chop to release the piece of Stella's dress. The young farmhand and part time veterinary student has a way with animals, and once she's on the scene it doesn't take long for Pork-chop to give up his ill gotten gains, a bow with a large, round edged disk she assumes is made of resin and star shaped glitter. Against the dark fabric of the bow, the glitter swirls look like a galaxy.

No wonder Pork-chop went after it, Bloom thinks. She swears the pig is part magpie.

Roxy and Bloom share a look of mixed amused-disgust. The bow and disk are sopping, slimy and frothy with pig spit. Neither of them wants to touch it, even a lifetime on the farm doesn't stop it from being gross.

“I have to go find out how Pork-chop escaped this time,” Bloom makes her excuses quickly, “could you do something about that?” She's already running away by the time Roxy picks it up daintily with two fingers and a faint squelch before she mocks throwing it after Bloom.

Roxy sighs and looks at Pork-chop, who snuffles about, already ready for more mischief.

“You are going to make so many bacon sandwiches someday,” Roxy tells him threateningly. Pork-chop ignores her warning.

It is hours later when Bloom next sees any of the visitors. She is sitting partway in the fence of Pork-chop's pigpen as she repairs it, one leg slung over the lower horizontal board so she could more easily hold the upper board in place while her hands are busy. The rattle-purr of the ratchet as she tightens the nuts covers the sounds of footsteps. The ratchet stops, the nut refusing to tighten any more and Bloom leans her weight into pressing the ratchet gently, just enough to judge if it's actually tight, only almost tight, or about to strip the thread of the bolt tight.

She judges it good and pulls the ratchet and the wrench she was using for counterweight free, turns to drop them back into her tool bag and is stopped by the sight of a familiar faded custard yellow flannel shirt very close to her face.

“Hi again!” Stella greets her cheerfully, no sign of her earlier distress. Bloom does her best not to let her eyes dip down to the shirt, one of Bloom's old shirts, that Stella has rolled up to tie under her bust so her entire stomach is showing. There's only two buttons done up and Bloom can see slivers of the bright orange cups of Stella's bra peaking out.

“Hey,” Bloom says back warmly, hoping it's not obvious in her voice how long it's been since she talked to a non-coworker pretty girl. “All cleaned up?” Bloom asks like its not obvious, and gives herself a little wiggle-twist to get out of the fence.

“Yeah,” Stella says, “but I might never forget the horror of the monster attack.” She gives an exaggerated shudder, but follows it up with a coy smile.

“Well, if there's anything I can do to help you in this trying time, just let me know?” Blooms says, mentally fist pumping when Stella twirls one of her pigtails and says “I'll be sure to do that.”

Bloom is 92% certain she and Stella are flirting. She's 87% certain she's flirting successfully.

Bloom feels a little ridiculous if she's being honest. She'd expected something... else when she'd offered to help Stella. Maybe lift some heavy things, show of her strength from working on the farm, or even her epic curve balls from her time on the local women's baseball team.

Even just showing Stella and her friends around the farm had made it higher on the list of potential things than this, mostly because this hadn't made it on to the list at all. Bloom had showered for this and put on her nicest flannel like she was going to the fancy pub in town, the one that was so fancy they called it a restaurant and not a pub.

Bloom and Stella walk through the small apple section of the farm's orchards, Stella casually twirling some flowers Flora had cut for them. They stop under one of the trees and Stella looks up to the ripe fruit. Bloom tries not to let her thoughts get in the way as she lifts Stella up so the blonde can pluck a single apple.

She doesn't drop Stella, Bloom releases just enough of her grip for Stella to slide down her body, letting her land gently. Stella twist in Bloom's arms just enough to offer the apple to Bloom with a cheek, flirty smile.

“Aaand cut!” Aisha calls out, startling Bloom as it does every time. She looks over to Stella's friends, Aisha and Tecna looking closely at the monitor of the film equipment they had set up. Musa gives Stella and Bloom two thumbs up and a happy grin. Aisha nods and also looks over at them. “That one was perfect, we'll wrap it up here and move on to the next shot.”

Stella and her friends were on Bloom and Daphne's farm to film a music video for Musa's latest song, Bloom had known that, they'd told her that when she'd first met them. At most Bloom had expected to maybe help them move their equipment and find spots on the farm to film, she hadn't expected to be in the music video.

A loud crispy-crunch pulls Bloom from her thoughts.

“Mmmm, this is so good,” Stella says and takes another bite of the apple before offering it to Bloom. Bloom takes a bite of her own and tries to focus on how nice the taste is and not whether or not this counts as an indirect kiss.

Flora joins them in the field of wild flowers, and helps them make flower crowns, and Bloom continues to hope she doesn't look as silly as she feels when she stands alone amongst the flowers and smiles at the camera.

It's easier to watch Musa sing her song at almost every site they stop at. It's a catchy love song that Bloom finds herself humming repeatedly.

It takes three days to get through the bulk of the filming, because they have to find each place on the farm, some of which they have to ride to, and they have to do multiple takes, and Bloom does still need to do her actual work.

On the afternoon of the final filming, all of the girls - including Flora and Daphne, and their other farmhands Roxy, Mirta and Lucy, and Flora's sister Miele, who only helps on the weekends – ride horses up the farm's forested hill lands, to the farm's campsite for a bonfire.

The cameras are set up around them, but there are no specific scenes for them to shoot, they've been told to act natural and forget the camera's are there. That there will either be good footage or there won't be.

“But if you could sit with Stella, that would help,” Aisha says to Bloom as the sun is setting.

“Sure, not exactly a hardship,” Bloom replies jokingly. Aisha's eyebrows raise in interest.

“Oh?” She asks, “so Stella's eighty-seven step plan to hijack the filming as a means of seduction is working?”

Bloom still, the worry that has slowly been growing in her chest - that Stella was just a naturally flirty person, that Bloom had misread, that Stella had only flirted to get Bloom to help with the filming – cracks and breaks and dissolves like ashes in the wind.

“Did it really have eighty-seven steps?” Bloom asks. Aisha hold her hand up to make a 'kind of' gesture and Bloom grins, leaning in to whisper, “that's kind of overkill. She had me at 'do I have rabies.'”

Aisha burst out laughing, drawing the attention of the others, but she waves them off, pats Bloom on the shoulder and gives her a friendly shove towards Stella who grins brightly when Bloom sits down next to her.

The whole group chatters, timidly and unsure at first, but by the time the sun has set they're all feeling comfortable with each other, laughing as marshmallows fall off skewers or set alight before they can be squished between crackers and chocolate.

Bloom and Stella join in the fun, but most of their time is just spent getting to know one another.

When Musa pulls out a guitar to sing her song, Bloom sings along. By the third rendition all of them are singing, to various degrees of success.

“Dance with me?” Bloom asks Stella, and Stella agrees. They aren't the only ones who dance, even after Musa puts away her guitar and Daphne brings out an old radio to play other music.

Tecna takes the sight of the radio as a chance to talk to Daphne about the farm's technology, suggesting some things to help streamline some of the issues Daphne and Bloom have been worrying over for the past few months.

But Bloom's to busy kissing a chaste kiss against Stella's marshmallow sticky mouth to pay much attention.

When Stella and her friends leave after lunch the next day, Stella leaves with all of Bloom's contact information and social media details saved in her phone.

She's back two weeks later, ostensibly to show them all the music video, like it wasn't 5 days into trending online. She stays for the weekend, and when she leaves, Daphne joins Bloom on the porch, leaning against the sturdy railing their father had built twenty years before.

“She's nice,” Daphne says to her sister. “I like how much she makes you smile.”

Bloom smiles, “me too.” They lapse into silence, and just as Bloom thinks Daphne has finished saying all she has to say on the matter:

“But when you marry that girl and bring her home for keeps, stop letting her help out in the yards, our vegetable garden cannot withstand her weeding.”

Bloom snorts, then swats at Daphne playfully for the entirely accurate insult. Daphne swats back before dodging back inside to leave Bloom to moon after her new girlfriend.

#winx club #winx #winx bloom #winx stella #bloom x stella #auroulette2023 #farm au #ranch au #youtuber au #my fanfiction #this is actually the first fanfic I have completed to posting this year #I was gonna try for all three but between getting sick and being without my laptop for the next week #I'm just gonna take the win on this one #I hope everyone likes it #I have so much thanks and appreciation for my discord friends who helped me get through this. they are the real MVPs

8 notes · View notes