#I just want my efforts known

[thepinkgalaxy55]

I turned on a Sega CD while both Snatcher and Sonic & Knuckles were in it and apparently the lock-on technology worked with it somehow???

#my art #pixel art #sonic the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #snatcher #sega cd #for the record the bg in the 2nd pic is custom #I just want my efforts known

[maranescence]

[POTENTIAL MURDER DRONES SPOILERS AHEAD]

Felt impulsy and fan service-y, so I drew a few more screenshot redraws of MD Episode 7 but with @lumineary-arts ‘s Murder Drones Swap AU, since it’s a lot of fun! However, I mainly went along with what we know about her AU so far, tho, so I didn’t include other details like Swap!N and Swap!Cyn’s other parent (who would take canon Nori’s place). I’d leave it to the AU’s creator.

I HIGHLY doubt Nate/Swap!N would tell Z/Swap! Uzi to “die mad”, I feel like he would apologize and genuinely feel guilty for sacrificing himself in front of her after she witnessed T/Swap!Thad do the same thing. Also I honestly loved how the solver symbol turned out! It isn’t perfect, but it sure looks great tbh! Also as some of you might know, backgrounds aren’t my strongest suit 😂

This one was pretty simple, but I am SHOOK at how in-canon this turned out to look. If you zoom out really far, it almost looks like a photo from the actual show! This particular screenshot probably isn’t highly significant in the plot, but I thought that Maid V’s appearance in the episode was an excuse to draw Butler Thad (since V and Thad switch places), who of course is just a mere hallucination produced by the Solver here (unfortunately). Since the artist stated that the solver was Russian-speaking in this AU, I guess that it would imply that Butler Thad in this episode would speak the same language!

Finally (my favorite one so far), the girl bosses ever! I’m kinda proud of how this turned out but HOLY HELL drawing the school bus was hard for me. I kinda got a little lazy and mostly blocked the majority of it with clouds 😂 I originally planned on having Swap!Tessa stand alongside Swap!J and Swap!V with a weapon in hand to reflect on her leaderlike personality, but I decided to put her up on the bus to make her look like the lady in charge. I kinda feel like I made her look a bit too intimidating, but I wanted her to have a “girlboss” expression. Look out, SD-L!

I wish I could draw a few more, but I ran out of ideas 😅 Also reminder: I tried to stay as in canon as possible, so PLEASE don’t hesitate to correct me if I made any mistakes!

#murder drones swap au #murder drones #glitch productions #art #artists on tumblr #digital illustration #murder drones uzi #uzi doorman #serial designation n #serial designation v #serial designation j #murder drones thad #murder drones tessa #tessa james elliot #digital art #digital artist #murder drones ep 7 #I literally poured my heart and soul into this #I’m sorry there isn’t a lot of drawings here I just stuck with what’s known about the AU #you guys can steal the glory of drawing the other things like Swap!Doll wearing Swap!Noris skin if you want #I feel like I put too much effort into these lmao

[ante--meridiem]

Have a feeling I won't be accepted to any of the things I applied to here for next year and will have to move again, which is fine, I wasn't expecting to stay and I've applied to plenty of other things many of which are objectively at least as good.

But goddamn it I wasn't expecting to start actually feeling at home here and I only just got to that in my last couple of months.

#personal #liveblogging my masters #I think at this point if I get accepted to one of my least favoured things here & most favoured elsewhere #I would pick the less favoured one here #but I doubt I'll get the choice #sidenote. applications are hell and putting even the least bit of effort into them is truly ridiculously draining. #this is well known on this website I think and so not worth a post complaining about it but just wanted it on record #whining

[whydoidothistomyselfandothers]

It's the way Li Ming guessed that Heart can read lips, the way he could just keep writing back and forth on the notebook, but he is still choosing - unlike Heart's parents it seems - to learn sign language so that he can communicate with Heart better. Li Ming doesn't like school, and has a tough time learning English, but when the motivation is communicating with someone he's so happy to learn. Instead of putting the burden of struggling to be understood on Heart's shoulders, he's meeting him halfway and doing his part to share the load. I love them your honour. 😔

#heartliming #Like it's the bare minimum but it's more than Heart's parents are doing and it just make my chest hurt #Li Ming wants to listen to him #He wants to learn his language #I can't with them #This boy has known him for such a short time and is already putting in more effort than his own parents 😩 #moonlight chicken #MLC #heart x li ming #Geminifourth

[catfishofoldin99colours]

re: that last reblog it makes me think of people as being. Highly impatient to reach deep connections in a way they don't realise those connections genuinely cannot happen over a long time???

Like I am also very impatient to reach the stage of 'trust you with every facet of myself' that I have reached with the friends I have known for over 10 years but. There's a reason we trust each other so deeply and it's BECAUSE we've known each other for over 10 years!! You don't get that deep connection from talking to someone for a couple months???

Even on a purely friendship level, I didn't feel like I had solid friends at university till I was about a year in, it took ages of trying and being nervous and talking about silly things and just fucking spending time around each other to feel comfortable with people??

The main ingredient to a long standing friendship is time and that is just not something you can fake, with anyone!

Like idk this is probably sounding very judgey and like I think I'm better than everyone but I promise I realise just how impatient I am with wanting to connect to people and how frustrating it can be to not know or trust someone that well because you only met in person once or talked like twice, even if you really really like their company and want to know them better it still doesn't change the fact that time and sustained effort and patience are the only things that will consistently deepen a bond like that

Anyway. Relationships of any kind take time to develop and you can't cheat your way into a deeper one just because you're impatient - that's called manipulation or a deeply unhealthy level of attachment and it's generally pretty bad for you, speaking from experience.

#catfish speaks #i am a Very lonely person so I have spent a Lot of time thinking about this #i want to date someone properly ant seriously and be really really truly deeply loved for who i am inside #unfortunately i cannot trust anyone with thay except the friends ive known since we were 13 #all my previous partners i knew beforehand and was pretty strong friends with already #its just. you really really cannot force knowing someone better until youve spent a good like 50+ hours with them #and that shouldn't be a turnoff!!! #whirlwind romances are not that good!! #the effort and patience it takes to get to kno someone SHOULD be part of tue appeal!!! hot take!!!! #like i know we're all lonely ant touch starved and want affection but jesus christ tryijg to force it will make it Worse

[dandyshucks]

everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;･∀･)

#i may have made a bad decision with the meat i cooked shdjdkl BUT I THINK IT'LL BE FINE #it was past the date on the packaging but it didnt smell or look or feel off at all so . i decided to risk it #and now im panicking bc i think perhaps that was actually rly stupid fhdkdl #but it was. so much money. i had no idea the date was so soon on the package when i got it from mum #I would've frozen it if I'd known dhdksl i should've looked #alas !!! i think it'll be fine tbh bc it genuinely did not seem spoiled at all so ... now we just pray #i had a fairly small serving of it and I'll see how i feel to figure out if the rest of it is safe to eat or not #im just fhdjdkl crying a little rn bc the past two days have been so awful and im so tired #i rly dont want to get sick on top of everything else going on #i would like one thing to go well fjdkdl just like. one thing. this feels like divine punishment for having the old lady group go so well #im just kind of losing my mind rn i think actually fhfkdl i have a therapy/counseling appt on monday though so we'll see if that helps #i do not have high hopes fjfkdl #MANNNN. can the universe give me a break PLEASE. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks to do well 😭😭 #im putting in so much work and effort fhdksl can i PLEASE have this one thing go okay djdksl i do not want to get sick !!! #if i do get sick then im just. hhhhh. idk djdkdl it's just one more thing to add to my pile of Bad ig djdkdl what can ya do djdkdl #i am going to pull myself together and stop crying and go play stardew maybe idk fjdkdl i feel like im starting to crack a little bit #augh. augh. i would love to catch a break djdkdl #dandy.cmd #vent //

[terrainofheartfelt]

.

#i need to be childish and rant some more about this thing #i talked to a mutual friend — the poet of our group— and she advised me to repair things with this friend i had a Thing with last week #and the adult intellectual side of me who has a modicum of emotional intelligence knows she’s right #i know it #but GOD. does anyone else feel like their well of grace is running dry? #the thing about being The Good Kid is that I am always reaching first #it always falls to me #and like god I can’t remember the last time someone has reached for me. because I am worth the effort of repair #and I am TIRED. and I just want to be wanted as a friend for a goddamn second #going to be litigious on my own tumblr blog for a minute #because I am the wronged party here. she was the one who leapt at me #and honestly made me feel like she thought so little of me. after all the years we’ve known each other #i was open and vulnerable with her through a really hard fucking time for me #and I didn’t think she would ever use it as ammo against me but she DID #so why does the repair have to fall to ME #and I know — I know that sitting and waiting for her to talk first is childish and I could be waiting for a long long time #i know that is ultimately unproductive and doesn’t get anyone anywhere #(just like i know this friend is working through some deep deep shit) #(and my shit is lesser) #i know all this AND YET #I want to be petulant and pathetic because I never get to let the line down ever and I’m exhausted is everyone else exhausted #but it’s also like. this friendship this group is for fucking life and i really mean that #i am just—— UGH #anyway this is the anguish occupying my brain this wed evening #also i am afraid to reach out because what if i inadvertently hurt her and what if #what if reaching out only gives her an opening to hurt me again?

[ginkovskij]

something good save me... anything good..... save me literally just one random good thing

#i am perfectly aware that not everything in life goes rhe way we would like them to #*the #and that it requires effort to reach places we want to be #but jesus christ i wish it could be easier and i could do this shit well not alone all the time #like i am not going to lie i should put more effort into everything but it's so so hard when in the front of my mind there's this voice #that goes like 'its's not like you are worth it anyway you should just die' #i no longer known if that's genuinely hard or just and excuse idk either way it adds some guilty sense of trying to justify the fact #i am behind everyone else my age and no future ahead and no other future plan outside the fact i will eventually die #some good material for a therapist if only i could afford one ): #notes of a countryside dandy

[arolesbianism]

Finally starting to get some proper fairy worldbuilding brainstormed for the random card au, huge win for 3 specific characters and them only

#rat rambles #random card au #band posting #sekai posting #my current concept is that long story short these guys are magical beings that evolved alongside humans #they generally lived side by side but eventually the gods decided if they wanted full worship it'd be best to seperate them #so they basically offered the magic folk some real cushy deals to get them to move elsewhere and then attempted to trap them there #I say attempted cause rly this just lead to a long long war that ultimately resulted in a truce but not without some bullshit compromises #but despite the devinities efforts the magic folk still did exist alongside humans #the ones they did seperate however would end up being known by a different name due to their close work relationship with the gods #the two still have a. strained relationship to put it lightly. and the leading fae are still deeply petty abt what they do have to do #but they also very much do not want to start up another war so they do the bare minimum to fulfil their obligations #aka do some memory relocation #I say relocation because memories cant just be artificially erased with magic #so instead they usually chose a memory barer for the person being removed and store all the memories into them #maya is this for aya and rui is this for emu #its not a fun time since it means you cant leave the main city and youre usually chosen because you knew the person #airi is just a basic contractor tho so she isnt trapped in the city #maya does end up getting to leave tho because of chu2 insisting on contracting her #this wouldnt normally be allowed but chu2 is part divinity and her specific divinity bloodline holds a lot of power #so maya gets to be free for a bit to make music with a lil brat yippeee #its even more anxiety enducing because chu2 is specifically contracting her to participate in a music tornament #the winners of which will be graced with a fun visit from the god of their choice #which isnt a fun thing to have to dread when the person whos memories your holding for is one of said gods

[artekai]

Honestly "I could give you the world but you'd poison the seas" is Frosscore enough that it could apply to most people who have ever cared about him. But also, it should clearly be about Lis. Combine that with Aloy's "Elisabet is the only reason you even have a planet to return to" for greater impact. Boom

#not to be obsessed with not only my own playlists but also my own writing but. man. poetic cinema #starting to think that the reason fross is always self-sabotaging is because he's already convinced that everything will inevitably go wron #and instead of waiting for it to catch him off guard he just. poisons it a little himself first. #and maybe then it won't hurt as much when shit does hit the fan! #(< look at this dumbass (me) having the exact same realization about my characters five separate times bc my memory sucks 😔) #but just look at his history. every time he tried to do something the right way in earnest it got fucked up for reasons out of his control #so. i could see it. why put in the effort to do things the right way if he's gonna get disappointed in the end? #it's almost like the hurdles that he himself creates are a test. and smth can only be worth pursuing if it can endure those hurdles first #it makes sense why his redemption arc starts once he's stuck on earth and he's like. #''ok now nemesis is gonna kill me for sure. there is nothing i can do to make this situation any worse. guess i'll wash the dishes fml'' #lol #but i also think about pre-apocalypse fross practically begging tilda to let him have something that's uniquely his. even if it sucks #(putting a pin on fross's anxieties about being cloned and his disdain towards aloy and beta in that regard) #because he feels like he's always been pulled by external forces and he doesn't know how to break free. doesn't think he even WANTS to #because it's all he's ever known. and stepping outside of his comfort zone is scary :') #but of course he doesn't have the emotional awareness to even be aware of any of that lmao. pity #oc: fross #oc tag #ramble #anyways. sorry i put the meat of this post in the tags. i didn't expect to write this much lol

[strawberrycircuits]

in regards to your tags I see ooc Zelink as like maybe a "kid crush" in the eay that they see other people in romantic relationships and child link just goes "Can we be girlfriends?" and then they just play together and dont actually do anything romantic

STRAIGHT UP ‼️

#my interpretation of those two is sooo hyperspecific its. auaaugh. itd take so long to explain #ok the gist is. zelda used link in that game bc she was the only person who would listen to her concerns about ganondorf #and link did what she asked bc 1. her dad told her to b4 he died and 2. zelda is a nice girl like her and is a Friend. To Be Trusted. #zelda had no way of knowing what she was asking of link would lead to her being put in stasis. or would lead to the sages being awakened. #she knew none of that. she just wanted to be heard by the adults in the room and no one would and her AND link paid #the ultimate price for it. #and we KNOW zelda felt immense guilt over this bc she SAYS she did and she sends link back in time to rectify her mistakes #once again how could she know those efforts were in vain #i think link would care abt her and want her safe bc she still sees the girl in the courtyard she met all that time ago #even if shes not nearly as healthy and happy as she was then-- as she SHOULDVE been #but shed have to reconcile that with the fact that shes never going to see that zelda again. in either time. (OR SO SHE THINKS) #i think zelda was telling the truth in the majmask flashback when she said she felt like shed known link forever. i think she genuinely #misses and cares about her even after all these years. so Yes they would be besties after mm just give em some time #tldr I Have To Write That Goddamn Fanfic Now

[shingogf]

i truly do feel that no one will ever know the real me

#i mean this in a way thats like. yea im usually very much content with this and i actively keep people away cuz of the fear of being known #at the same time i cant help but think how neither my ex or any of the men i ever spoke to or who i'll speak to in the future will get me #and i dont mean this in a im not like the other girls way. i mean this in a theres smth profoundly and deeply and truly wrong with me #and the majority of ppl wont ever care or have enough patience to understand the inner workings of why i am who i am. men specifically #i just have this same thought every single time i talk to a man and he shows somewhat of an interest in me like its either pure carnal want #or hes just interested in making convo and *getting to know me* but in fact they never ever stick around or actively try to know me #my ex included and him especially tbh #.txt #this train of thought has been spurred on by me making an active effort in the last days to talk to more men as if that ever helped me #technically it SHOULD help me cuz i meet new ppl. it doesnt. it never did. i just feel like they all act the same and im stuck in a loop #maybe 1 or 2 friends of mine acc know me other than that none of my family not even my own mom ever knows or cares abt what i really feel #or think or act like etc. let alone potential dates its such a mundane existence #the process of being known is long and heinous and the people required to kickstart it never show enough implication #and most of the times its ok. other times once in a blue moon at nearly 12 am it just feels deeply wrong

[blueslight]

Man

#My friend forgot that they said theyd come to my house today and even though i texted them.aboht it at 1pm which they read at 3pm they #didnt bother saying ANYTHING to me until literaly rivht now (its nearly 7pm so tge day is effecrively over) #and like. my friend is autistic (so am I obviously) so on one hand im like yeah they probably dont know any better but on the other hand i #WOULDVE known better not because im good with empathy or social stuff but just bc i put in an effort #and like . well what would i say cause. like i said theyre autistic im sure its not great to get upset with an autistic person for doing #something autistic BUT LIKE ITS STILL HURTFUL!!! AND IM AUTISTIC MYSELF #but my mom raised me to be like so painfully aware and competent (in real life online obviously i act like a madman) that its near #impossible for me to hang out with other autistic/adhd people without feeling like their fuckin dad bc they refuse to put in any effort #into our friendship beyond exactly that they feel like doing #and stuff like this is constantly happening like hanging out with them is always overshadowed by the fact that i have to plan everything #and take care of everything and remind them of everything bc otherwise they literally want altho i KNOW they can #*wont #but at the same time im TOO weird to hang out with neurotypicals but with other nd people its always shit like this #and there are few things i hate as much as having to take care of people in contexts like this esp cause it just means i have to mask way #more cuz the others wont put in the slightest effort meanwhile ANY social interaction is like moving a mountain for me ive just gotten #so used to the effort BC WHAT ELSE DO I FUCKING DO I DONT WANNA DIE ALONE #but neither of my friends are as driven with tbis as i am. like if theyre not motivated to do something they literally wont do it #and like im rarely motivated either but THERE IS NO CHOICE BUT TO DO IT !!! but bc i guess their parents never enforced any rules now #they are exhausting to deal with

[distraughtlesbian]

i could have parented baby dany. i could have sent her to a waldorf school.

#asoiaf will be like all that daenerys wanted back was the house with the red door the lemon tree outside her window the childhood she had #never known #and im like I Could Give You That. I Can Fix That. #admittedly a lot of my feelings about dany and her arc and accomplishments are wrapped up in how utterly lost i felt when i was her age #and in my gruelling effort to be kinder to myself i find myself pitying her more than maybe is necessary #because dany is quite literally destined to save the world and despite her age and trauma has proven herself to be capable and intelligent #and it never is my intent to devalue that or overfocus on how consistently the adults in her life have failed her #but at the same time it’s like. somebody needs to fix this! i want her to be happy! i want to retroactively wipe out everything bad that’s #ever happened to her despite her strength allowing her to overcome them because i love her and want her to be happy! #the whole thing is just HHHHHHHGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. if she doesn’t get a happy ending i’m bombing george’s stupid cabin #maeve speaks #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #daenerys targaryen #pro daenerys #pro dany

[musical-chick-13]

.

#personal Vent™ incoming: #I don't like...miss Her™. exactly. #but I miss having someone who genuinely made an effort to understand me. who made that effort because they WANTED to understand me #and mostly I just miss being like. close to someone. there was a level of emotional intimacy and trust and closeness that I #just haven't ever had with anyone else. even if there are people who have technically known me better or Got™ me more #and I miss having that I miss having a person who brought out all of these parts of myself that I didn't think I had and I miss believing #that maybe everything was going to be okay and all of that is gone now and it's better that I don't see her anymore genuinely it is #but. oh god I lost so much. I lost so much and I feel that loss so acutely just. all the time. and I like I said I don't miss HER because #there's too much hurt and bad blood there now but I miss all the things that I lost and I want them back I want my time and my effort and my #love back and I don't know if it will ever even be possible to find those things again and even if it IS possible what's the point #I'm just. I should be over this by now I should have processed everything and moved on with my life and stopped feeling sad about everything #and I've tried EVERYTHING that it is possible to try but this feeling of loss and loneliness and sadness and grief? I guess? you can grieve #a relationship even if the person isn't dead right? all of those feelings are still fucking here and I'm so tired like I just want to #be a person again. because I don't really know what I feel like now. #In the Vents #personal #idk somebody send me like. asks/messages about music or unhinged fictional women or something.

[effigyofowls]

.

#I would be more active with my mutuals (the ones that aren't in server) and show more posts/stuff about my OCs if I could #but I still am shy 😔 and kinda don't want to be the one to reach out unless someone actively shows interest in talking to me/being a friend #I just...got kinda sick of constantly being the one to make an effort/reach out/socialize and keep the convo going and I don't want to do it #not unless the person in question genuinely wishes to be friends with me and makes an effort back #also being perceived/known kinda gets me 😬