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freshouttaparsnips · 3 years

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Stretch is healing, getting over the hurts of the past. Until they come literally knocking at his front door.

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this is a sad fic ya’ll, no happy endings yet but there will be a continuation! (if anyone wants to fund a chapter or two, it’ll be sooner rather than later XD)

tags: Hurt/Comfort, minor fluff, Angst, relationship angst, this is basically just sad, no happy endings here, at least not yet, fluff in the future!

read it on Ao3

or read it below!

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They were all having fun, for once. Blue had dragged him out of bed a few hours before to get a shower and get dressed, which was a lot easier these days than it had been. It’d only been a few days since his last shower, this time, which made it easier to step inside the little glass box and scrub down until his bones tingled.

Stepping up to his closet, towel around his waist and water droplets shining under the titty light on the ceiling. He could wear the “Bad to the BONE” shirt today, Papyrus would get a kick out of it and it’d make his brother smile, at least a little.

Or the “I make science puns periodically”, that was a favorite, and the texture of the shirt was nice and soft after repeated washes. His decision having been made, his bones were succinctly dried and the shirt was pulled on, as well as a pair of soft boxers and one of his pairs of light blue sweats.

It’d warmed up outside significantly, enough that the sweats might have been a little bit of overkill, but it was a party. He wanted to at least be comfortable in his own home. He hadn’t gotten a lot of that until a month or two ago, so it was a nice sensation to have back.

Blue was waiting downstairs when he tromped down them, holding the handle to the vacuum cleaner and grinning wide as Stretch took it without a word. He’d partially made the mess in the living room over the past week, and it looked like Blue had already taken all the extra dishes and trash out, so the least he could do was clean the floor a little.

The whir of the vacuum was soothing, at least until he hit a few things it didn’t want to suck up, that was always a fun mini heart attack. They were all easily taken care of though, so he let his mind wander as he went about the floor.

Blue must have started cooking that morning, seeing as how there were already a couple cheese trays sitting out on the tables in the living room. Monster cheese, so it wouldn’t spoil being out, but Stretch had almost preferred dairy cheese; he hoped Blue had another tray of it in the fridge or something.

He could smell the rich scents of something chocolate and something fruity coming from where Blue had disappeared in the kitchen, making his stomach grumble. He’d have to get some breakfast after this, maybe some toast with a nice piece of american cheese sandwiched between the bread.

He hoped Red actually came this time. Stretch had taken the whole thing pretty hard, but Red had taken it the hardest. Hadn’t left his house for weeks, hadn’t come to join them for a movie night for at least a year.

He still didn’t come every time, and always had a vague vibe of guilt whenever he looked at Stretch, not that he cared.

What happened, happened. There wasn’t anything anyone could have done differently. And it’d been three years, so it wasn’t like it really mattered that much anymore either way.

The vacuum clicking off, the glorious white noise gone, Stretch noticed a faint hint of sinatra playing in the kitchen, and for a moment more, he was taken back.

Back to warm hands holding his own, the music turned loud as he laughed and swayed with his soon to be husband. Red eyelights staring at him in adoration, a small, secret grin stolen from the music that danced with them both.

Shaking himself out of it, Stretch wiped at his face with his sleeve until the wayward tears were gone. He wasn’t going to ruin today.

Blue smiled softly at him as he walked into the kitchen, taking a large loaf of what looked and smelled like banana bread out of the oven. Stretch went to pinch a piece, laughing as he was smacked away before grabbing the bread and popping two pieces in the toaster.

Blue set about icing the tray of cookies he’d been letting cool, studiously not looking up at Stretch.

“Red said he’d come this time. He’s been busy at the Embassy, but he needed the break.”

Stretch nodded, watching the toaster rather than look at the despondency of his brother. He and Red, at one point, had been thick as thieves. Stretch would have believed it fully if they’d ever gotten serious, but as time went on… well. Things happen, and you lose sight of what used to be important, but wasn’t anymore.

The pop of the toaster startled him, a small laugh forced out as he grabbed a slice and began buttering.

“I just wanted you to know, in case he brings anything with him. I know the last couple times he hid a few bottles of whiskey in his damn coat, so I told him to at least bring a case to share if he was going to bring alcohol.”

Stretch paused, trying not to outwardly wince.

Blue was many things… and frugal with alcohol when he was depressed was not one of them.

“Just…” Stretch started, but closed his mouth. Blue was an adult, older than him even. If he wanted to spend a night getting drunk with his friends, when he’d done so well recently, then Stretch wouldn’t say anything.

He’d worry from the sidelines, but he wouldn’t say anything.

“Just be careful, yeah?” he finally settled on, and Blue chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I will.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent making the actual food they’d be eating; a whole platter of nachos that would do actual restaurants proud, as well as several servings of rice and beans and homemade quesos.

All of it made Stretch’s mouth water; his bro was no slouch when it came to cooking mexican food.

But he waited diligently, snacking on a sandwich just before the first guests were set to arrive.

Blue had told everyone to come around 6, which meant that just about now…

The knock at the door, hard and unrelenting, was almost comically on time, Stretch letting his brother have the option to go answer it. He did, letting Red in with a small smile that Red returned.

There might be something more there, someday. Stretch hoped so, they both deserved it.

“‘Ey Stretch, how’s it shakin’?” Red asked, setting two boxes of beer on the side table Blue had directed him to. Stretch tried not to glare at it all, instead focusing on Red.

“Its been fine. Better.”

Red nodded, seemingly pleased. “Good to hear.” And with that he settled on the floor, pulling an X Box out of his inventory and setting it up to their jacked up TV. Stretch left him to it; he’d get a chance to play something later. Right now he was waiting on their second batch of guests, which… also were the last, but that was okay.

It took another half hour for the customary shake and a haircut to sound at the door, and this time Stretch answered, finishing the song and letting Papyrus and Sans inside. They were both carrying tupperware of what looked and smelled like more food… they were having a real feast that night, huh?

Blue greeted Papyrus warmly, the two of them taking off to the kitchen to unpack, leaving Stretch with Sans.

Sans was giving him that searching look that he honestly hated, but there was also really nothing to do but stand there and bear it. Let the old man get his reassurance that Stretch wasn’t about to fall down… it was worth it so they wouldn’t all worry.

“Lookin’ better today, bro.” Sans finally said, satisfied with whatever he saw, and Stretch grinned, nodding.

“Yeah, and you’re looking old as ever.”

Flopping back on the couch, Sans raised a hand to his chest. “I’m wounded, kiddo, how could you do me this way.”

“He could be a lot worse and call you an old fartin’ bastard, like yer are.” Red piped up, playing some kind of platformer while he waited. Stretch and Sans both snickered, but Sans glanced up at Stretch, looking him up and down before patting the couch cushion he wasn’t taking up.

“Park it, kid, the food’ll be done soon and Paps wanted to say somethin’ before we all ate.”

Stretch glanced to the kitchen, but after looking down at an earnest Sans, he did as told, flopping on the opposite end of the couch so he could stretch (heh) his legs out.

Things were quiet, the only sounds coming from Red’s game, which was turned down, and Blue and Papyrus talking in the kitchen.

At least until they started moving the food into the living room on the fold out table Blue had set up, the smells and sights mouthwatering.

It all looked delicious, Stretch saying so and relishing in the pride it brought on their faces.

But before they all got up, Papyrus stood tall, ready to say whatever it was he needed to say, Stretch waiting with an open mind to listen… when a final knock came at the door.

There wasn’t supposed to be anyone else coming… so Stretch stood, walking past confused and wary guests alike, walking to the door and unlocking it before opening… only to find Edge standing there.

He looked. Tired. Worn down. His thick leather jacket looked like it’d seen better days, and Stretch would know, seeing as how it’d been an anniversary present.

His eyelights were smaller, less bright red. He had a few more scars on the bones that Stretch could see, and all in all, he no longer had any of that pride about him that had bugged Stretch so much.

It threw him back, back to the day that he’d proposed to Edge. They’d both been happy, crying and kissing each other as Edge slipped the ring on his own finger and Stretch had gotten up, to go take a shower.

Just a shower. Just to get clean, so they could go out of their little shared apartment and tell their brothers.

It’d been silent, the whole time he’d been inside, so Stretch had called for Edge a few times, but nothing had been answered.

When he got out, it was like a silent storm had blown through, clothes strewn everywhere, one of their suitcases missing and most of Edge’s favorite clothes gone as well.

He’d left. Without saying a word, without even taking his phone. Without saying goodbye.

And here he stood, three years later, looking like a kicked puppy and if that didn’t piss Stretch off more than nothing else had, he wasn’t sure he would ever be this angry again.

“You left.”

The words hung in the air between them, seeming almost like a physical blow to Edge’s soul, seeing as how his HP dropped a few digits hearing it.

“I know.” was the whispered reply. Not an explanation. Not an apology. Just “I know.”

“Then you know where you belong. And its not here.” Stretch answered, shutting the door with a click.

He knew everyone behind him was waiting, waiting for the answers he needed to give them about who was at the door.

By the way Red was standing, stock still in the middle of the room, Stretch had a feeling he already knew.

But he couldn’t do this. Taking a short cut up to his room, he listened as pandemonium broke out downstairs, his door locked as Blue tried to come up and ask him what the hell was going on, but Stretch just said a simple “Go answer the door.” and left it at that.

He felt… numb. Emotionless would have been incorrect, because on the inside he was furious. Seething, he sat up, wrapping his arms around himself.

Edge didn’t care about him. That was the bottom line. If he had, he never would have left.

And as far as Stretch was concerned? He never came back.

#fresh writes #undertale #papcest #spicyhoney #angst #relationship angst #hurt/comfort

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wickedpact · 4 years

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anyways @ THE ANON THAT ASKED ABOUT THE GREG RUCKA PODCAST TRANSCRIPT: i did it

Long Ass Post under cut

(literally not kidding there’s an hour long podcast worth of transcript under this cut)

Mimi: Hi I'm Mimi Chan, welcome to culture chat, thanks for joining the conversation. Hi everyone, happy Friday. You might want to watch The Old Guard movie on Netflix before listening today. You can also read my film review to get hyped up for viewing – which is linked here.

Greg Rucka and Leandro Fernández‘s The Old Guard comic has been adapted to film that is available for viewing on Netflix. As the writer of both the comic and screenplay, Greg brings insights on the movie and the decisions behind some of the deviations from the comic.

For fans of the comic, have no fear, the characters and story follow pretty closely to the original. I am fortunate that I developed a friendship with Greg during our weekly conversations and felt comfortable asking candid questions about the adaptation.

Greg shares insights about the film that prompts a discussion on how the film speaks to the crisis our country is currently in amidst the covid19 pandemic and the lack of accountability from our government.

The Old Guard, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, is available on Netflix now starring an amazing cast including: Charlize Theron and Chiwetel Ejiofor.

For those that don’t already know: Greg Rucka is a New York Times bestselling author of hundreds of comics and nearly two dozen novels. He has written for film, television, and video games. His career has included critically acclaimed and Eisner-winning work in both the creator-owned and work-for-hire arenas.

I’m loving these conversations and hope you are too. If you are, please rate my podcast on your platform of choice.

Finally, if you would like to support with a donation, you can become a patron of the show by visiting my website or Patreon.com. For comments or suggestions, please email me at [email protected] or reach out on social media @sifumimichan. Now on with the show!

[the phonecall starts]

Mimi: Hello, hello, Greg Rucka!

Greg: How you doing, Mimi?

Mimi: Great since last week, um, I'm great also because I got to watch The Old Guard!

Greg: [BIG GASP] You did?

Mimi: I did, I did! Apparently I qualify as a real journalist to Netflix. [laughs]

Greg: [also laughs] Right, you sent the media inquiry and they said ‘sure’!

Mimi: I said, ‘you know, what? It would be great if I actually saw this before talking to Greg, and then I could really have a conversation.’ And I was like, ‘wait, why don't I just check if I can?’ And then naturally--

Greg: Lo and behold!

Mimi: Yeah, if you ask, uh, you know,? That’s when things get done.

Greg: [finishing her 'if you ask' thought] --you shall receive, yeah.

Mimi: That's right, that's right.

Greg: It's interesting to me because I know that for some people... you know, they had no problem getting access...

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And then, you know, the friends and family screenings were a freaking nightmare to arrange.

Mimi: Oh really?

Greg: And they were like 'oh no you can only give it to only like seven people'

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And it's like 'oh hey dudes calm down' but, you know, uh, it won't matter come midnight tonight--

Mimi: That's right!

Greg: --Everyone's gonna have access!

Mimi: That's right. so I was so excited to be able to watch it and, um, man-- I almost feel bad talking to you right now because I feel like you must be really kind of exhausted from talking about the film --as much as you love it! I just I can only imagine that it's been hour after hour after hour of inquiry, so I feel a little guilty.

Greg: There has been a lot of talking about the movie, yes. There has not been a lot of talking about the movie with you, however, so that that does distinguish it.

Mimi: Ah, you are too kind to me, too kind to me. So, first of all-- and you're gonna have to sit here and just take it -- I'm just so unbelievably excited for you and a huge congratulations-- I mean-- I already knew from the trailer, that it was going to be a quality and just an intense and well-written film, because you wrote it. But, upon watching it --you know, of course, you know, Oscar [her bf or husband maybe?] got to jump into my media pass. He was privy!

Greg: I was gonna say, did you say 'you can't come in here while I watch it', you know?

Mimi: I mean, you know-- he's not gonna tell anyone. But we were, we were completely enamored. We were super super excited, and it wasn't just an action film, you know. I think beyond that, what you and Gina brought to it was just-- the strength of the characters, which is something you and I have discussed so much, and how that is what drives a story, and so beyond it being a good movie I just really feel like you were able to tell the story that you conveyed-- not only in the comic, but, you know, come to life. And so I'm, I was, I'm just so excited for you.

Greg: And I'm delighted to hear it

Mimi: I have been reading reviews-- I wrote my own little review-- you know, since I got the access and all, I felt like obligated but, um, obviously, I'm not the only one with this opinion. You must feel-- I guess validated is the wrong word, because I think, you know where you stand with your work, but it must feel really good being your first screenplay.

Greg: I-- wow. um. Hm. I -- so Netflix sends, um, an email like on average once a day, sometimes it's been twice a day, with sort of like 'here's the press round up'!

Mimi: Yeah

Greg: And so I’ve woken up the last couple days to 'here are the reviews!' and I immediately delete. Right? Because I don't want to see them, um... and that's just me, right. That’s just me trying to negotiate how I feel about... reviews and my relationship with them. And, it isn't the most mature way to deal with them, I am the first to admit, um, but I-- for better or worse, I'm in a place where I feel like, well if I invest in a review --that is a positive review-- the amount of work... um... the amount of work required to do the due diligence on the reviewer and also on then, say, negative reviews is such that I just-- I'm not going-- I can't devote it.

Mimi: Right, mm-hm, yeah, it's a rabbit hole.

Greg: So some of the reviews-- and all that said, some of this stuff is getting to me anyway, right, I mean, I got-- you know people text me and 'oh look here's a review' and it is gratifying as hell. Uh... at the end of the day --and I learned this with my novels pretty early on, is that at the end of the day, you know, a great review is wonderful, and it'll make you feel good about yourself, and maybe it'll sell more books... but at a certain point in -- and you know this-- you've experienced this... as you make the thing, and then at a certain point it goes into the world and all you can do is be like... you know, ‘are you wearing clean underwear and hopefully you'll find a safe home’ [<-- he’s talking like he's the story's mother with that statement]. You know, hopefully-- hopefully there will-- there are people out there that will embrace. So the extension of that is that... Netflix reaches something like 130 million plus households around the world. alright, Um, I'm pretty sure out of a theoretical 130 million people who might see the movie, uh, you know -- I would be surprised if, you know, 30 percent of them didn't-- you know-- couldn't stand it. I wouldn't-- I wouldn't be surprised. Right? There are going to be people who are going to see it and it's not going to be their thing.

Mimi: Yeah

Greg: they're not-- it's not going to speak to them-- they're not going to like the choices that we made-- that they're going to be offended, or just bored or whatever. And... Can’t do anything about it!

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: All I can do is stand beside the work that we've created and say I am proud of what we did here, and I feel that we, um, we honored the source material, and --I believe -- in many ways improved on it.

Mimi: Yeah and that's something I definitely want to get into. I mean my take was obviously-- I'm a fan of your comics, so I know the comic, I know the story, and the immediate thing as a comic book quote unquote fan is like: you're comparing, right, you're comparing the story, you're comparing the characters-- and, you know, when I wrote my little review I thought about what I could say, you know, I could I could criticize action, I could talk about this... but I really feel -- and this maybe, it's because you and I have been talking for like 11 or 12 weeks straight now, it's literally like... the perfect story at a time when we need it most. I think there's strong women, there's a diverse cast, and ass kicking to greedy individuals of the world is exactly what we need right now!

Greg: Like oh yeah, there's some lovely wish fulfillment. Yes, you know, it's like 'oh, you know, rich selfish pharma asshole? Yeah oh no you got an axe in your head! Too bad!'

Mimi: I know! I was like, ‘so Greg, so Greg!’ and-- you know, we've talked about this before like now that I'm reading your novels and your prose, it's, it's I hear you speaking to me in my head even though usually it's an audio book-- and so even watching the film Oscar and I immediately were like 'I wonder what pharma did to piss him off recently' and, you know, so it's just it's so great--

Greg: Exist!

Mimi: -- to be able to kind of watch it-- [laughing] Exist, right right. So, um, so let's talk about--

Greg [gearing himself up]: Let's talk about insulin prices maybe, uh, you know, I mean. Doesn’t take much--

Mimi: Yeah and you and I discussed this, uh, previously as well that you do feel that at the end of the day you wrote a better story, and I already put a disclaimer at the top of this podcast that yeah--

[Both at once] total spoiler alerts big spoiler alerts!

Mimi: --but there's no way I'm not going to talk to you about it! Which is, um, you know, the ending obviously is so, uh, different than what was laid out in the comic. One is, uh, Andy is still bleeding! What the hell! [laughs] so that's the first thing. But my big takeaway and the thing I loved, and I think that was probably a decision by both you and Gina, um, was Nile really becoming kind of the heroine and finding herself in her own, but also really the one to bring everyone back to what was purposeful and what was meaningful-- finding that why, you know, and I think that was a really really powerful choice and I actually really enjoyed that choice. So I was wondering, um, you know, for you of course knowing the story already, and then going 'okay here I am going to adapt' it like at what point did you realize like-- that was something that needed to change?

Greg: Well, um, I mean if people have been listening to interviews some of this is going to sound a little repetitious. I will say that, you know, the first draft of the screenplay I did with, uh, Matt Grimm(?) as sort of my producer in quotes, at Skydance and when we finished it-- or when I finished it-- and he had given me all the notes and I’d done revisions, and we put it in front of Don Granger(?) at Skydance-- and Granger came back with three notes. And I have dealt with a lot of Hollywood types and in the main-- most of their notes are crap. And Granger has yet to give me a note that wasn't spot dead on. And the biggest of the three was, um, you know, he said-- I really like-- it's really good-- he says ‘Nile has no impact whatsoever on this plot. Um, if you remove her the story changes, but the plot doesn't’. And I sat there and I went-- you know, bewildered -- and I sort of looked at the source material and I was like 'you are absolutely correct. You are absolutely 100% correct'. So the big thing that happened between the first draft and the second draft was that I thought of the second draft as-- this is the Nile draft-- like the first draft had been the Andy story. And then the second draft was me going, ‘okay you have the Andy story, now what is the Nile story? Really really take a look at that and figure out how to bone it up’. So and I honestly think that in large part it was the execution of that, uh, was one of the things that Gina responded to so strongly when she was given the screenplay. And then when Gina came aboard, there was just consistent work in fine-tuning not just Andy and Nile but everybody else's stories throughout the work. But it was, um, it was absolutely, you know, I mean-- it was-- it was-- it was malice of forethought. It was-- it was 'Nile has to be able to shoulder this and we need to serve her well'

Mimi: Yeah and--

Greg: Andy was never the question, it really was: can we do right for Nile?

Mimi: Yeah no and that really definitely shines through. And I think there's that says so much about you as a writer, as a screenwriter, as a storyteller, because there are a lot of people, um, that would not be able to have that humility in writing and maybe take that feedback and criticism. because, you know, this was not like you adapted someone else's comic, like this was already your comic, you know, so they're basically giving you notes on what's already your story-- and did you find that aspect of it, uh, challenging or was it just kind of second nature-- because I know you as a person, so I know that you would take criticism well, if it is well meant and if it was constructive. but at the same time when you're in it though, and you've put so much work into those drafts-- it's not like 'oh let me just write this' and it takes five minutes, you know? You put so much into it. So how's that process for you?

Greg: You know, it was not-- it wasn't as difficult as some people seem to think it might have been. And maybe it's simply that I'm at an age where I'm able to look at my work with some degree of objectivity and I, long ago, past the point of believing that, uh... that that the work can't be improved. and I went into the process eyes very wide open, you know, I think one of the reasons Skydance was willing to let me write the drafts was because I made it clear up front that I understood... The movie was not the comic. It needed to be a different thing, and one of the things that they were adamant about were the things that I kept. Now, I had a conversation with Granger once where I said 'I'm kind of surprised nobody ever came to me and said ‘you got to get rid of that armored car sequence' and he looked at me and he said 'if that hadn't been in there I would have wanted to know why, and I would have made you put it back. That’s one of the things that we bought' for instance. So I think, you know, if there was anything to recommend me, it was that I entered the process... fully aware that this had to be a different animal.

Mimi: Yeah, yeah.

Greg: And that was liberating. And there are certain things-- for instance, you know, um, in the comic book there's the sequence in the Paris safe house on the stairs in the apartment. And when Charlize came on one of the first notes was 'we're gonna have to change that sequence'. Because in recent memory Charlize Theron has done a pretty intense action sequence--

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: --coming down the stairs in an apartment.

Mimi: Atomic Blonde, yeah

Greg: You got it! And it was like oh that-- that's a gimme. And the result of that was the discovery of Goussainville right, which is this real town 30 minutes outside of Paris that is a ghost town; it's been a ghost town since the early 1970s.

Mimi: Wow, yeah it was a beautiful location

Greg: Yeah and-- and the place is real, and they didn't shoot in Goussainville. They shot-- they shot that at the same place where they shot the medieval castle flashbacks.

Mimi: Okay.

Greg: That's all the same estate.

Mimi: Nice, nice.

Greg: It's about an hour outside of London. Which gives you an idea of the magic--

Mimi: Of the magic of movies yeah! And do you feel like maybe because your experience as a comic book collaborator... like you have to collaborate. I’ve learned about this a lot more as I’ve spoken to so many creators -- like you and Michael for instance-- on Lazarus, like the way you collaborate, it's not 'I write you draw, period' like-- you-- there's a lot of back and forth, a lot of questioning of your decisions and-- ‘arguing’ may be the wrong term, but, you know, there is a lot of, uh, collaboration in terms of Michael giving you feedback and vice versa, and not feeling like 'oh you're stepping in my territory'. Do you feel like that is probably something that maybe even conditioned you for the screenwriting process?

Greg: I think so. If -- I mean-- I don't wanna-- I don't wanna pat myself on the back over much. But I do think that I am, um, I think I'm certainly a willing collaborator if not always a good collaborator on projects. Um, that if the people I am working with... want to engage that collaboration, I tend to respond to it very well. Um, and I think that's something that absolutely was learned through comics. And I can think, you know, immediately of Gotham Central which doesn't exist if Ed Brubaker(?) and I don't learn how to work together with Michael Lark(?) very quickly and very adeptly--which to this day, is one of my favorite collaborations in comics ever. I don't think you get to work, like, 52 for DC, um, if you don't learn how to collaborate, and to collaborate well.

Mimi: Exactly.

Greg: Which isn't always which isn't always saying 'yes and' sometimes you have to put your foot down and say 'no but'

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: Um, and there were plenty of arguments to be had, you know, in the process of this. Um, but most of those arguments frankly didn't occur until really late in the stage, and they were always focused to the same end. It was never-- that-- there was never an argument about, um-- there was never an argument about intent. there was always an argument about 'what's the best way to do it' right, 'what's the best way to execute' and, you know, I lost as many of those as I won, and... In the end... it seems to have all worked out, because, you know-- it is by no means a flawless motion picture. But I think it absolutely is a successful film. I think it does, it does, it tells its story well, it is moving, it is exciting, it is fun, it has a heart to it...and it leaves you with some questions! And they're not just plot questions-- that-- it leaves you with some stuff that if you are inclined to think about, there's a lot there's a lot to unpack.

Mimi: Absolutely. Yeah. I mean... the question, of course, that whole immortality-- like some people immediately will be like 'of course I’d want to be immortal' I'm like 'but would you want to watch everyone you know die?' and then 'all right would you be alone' and, you know, of course Booker's-- you know, um-- punishment, have you, of being alone quote unquote for a hundred years... I mean a hundred years, you know, you think-- that's a long time.

Greg: Right.

Mimi: And so, uh, I do have to ask though what's up with Andy! Like --you're-- you left us in such a --in such a state! Oscar’s like 'you have to ask Greg what's going on with Andy' or do we not-- we cannot go there?

Greg: Look, the film has a very obviously-- very obvious 'in case of sequel break glass' scene. Right, I mean-- and that's how I've been referring to it. The 'emergency sequel' button is right there. And all they have to do is go 'beep' and you have your entree into another story. Um, the question about Andy really is whether or not the immortality is the thing that matters, right. Where she is left at the end of the film, I think, asks some really cool questions about who this woman gets to be moving forward. Um, and should we be able to do a sequel, you bet your ass we're going to interrogate the hell out of that. Um, but... one of the things that I particularly like about the movie-- and I say this with the, you know, 'in case in case of sequel break glass' proviso, is that the movie doesn't need a sequel. The movie has an ending, it is a complete work. It does not say, uh, 'unless there is a second story this story doesn't have merit or value or mean anything'.

Mimi: Right.

Greg: It stands absolutely on its own.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: Um, should there be an Old Guard 2, then I suspect an Old Guard 2 is gonna be arguably contingent on making an Old Guard 3. That, once you enter into a second part you are actually saying 'we are we are talking about, uh, a collection, we're we're talking about a completion here' and that movement in that structure is in act 1 and act 2 and act 3. But as it stands now as you walk away from it-- all right, so maybe Andy's gonna die. You know, maybe the next day she crosses the street she's hit by a truck.

Mimi: I'm gonna guess no on that!

Greg: But maybe. Or maybe, maybe she gets to go for 50 years, you know, and die of old age. Finally.

Mimi: Right, um, and I liked what she said, when there was that realization point by others that, you know, she was possibly losing her mortality and she said 'it doesn't matter, we go in the same way, and we come out the same way, as we always did' so nothing changes.

Greg: ‘This changes nothing’

Mimi: ‘This changes nothing’. And that really resonated with me because you kind of go ‘okay it's not about the immortality or the magic or the fighting or any of that', you know, it's like, who she is and what her purpose is has been-- you know, it was just I thought it was really--

Greg: Well and I think thematically right, um-- hold on a second sorry-- um, I think, um, thematically that that is the crucial thing right? Um, it is an issue of -- okay at the end of the day... you can strip away the whole immortality of this movie and it's still saying the same thing. And it is saying that how you live your life matters. And the decisions you make, and the choices you make, and the ways you... choose to help people, matter. And they matter beyond an accounting you will ever be privileged to see. And the... obvious and I suppose easy, um, analogy for that right now is the act of wearing a mask in public.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: Your decision to wear a mask in public may save the life of somebody literally on the other side of the world.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And that may be the person who will cure cancer, I mean, to draw it really big.

Mimi: Yeah yeah that's the ripple effect.

Greg: Right yeah, we don't know the value of the life. And I’ve talked about this as well but, you know, if you use the good place, um, term of moral desert--

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: --if you're trying to live your life in search of moral desert then-- you-- that's a fine reason to do good things, but it is a flawed motivation. That the motivation needs to be 'we do the best we can and we try to help others because that is what we should do'. And what the film is able to say 'is these people have been around long enough that it is possible to see it'

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: But that isn't the reason you do it, right. And Andy says --and I think this is important she says that to Booker-- you do it on faith. You know, she says to Booker, 'have a little faith, Book'. Um, that she has come through all of this with this reaffirmation, that there is that... there is a worthiness to the effort itself. That we engage in the struggle for the sake of the struggle. And I can't think of anything frankly more resonant in July of 2020 than that right now. We are living in a time, in a place that is genuinely the worst it has ever been in modern history. I mean it genuinely is.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: We're looking at this-- this makes the start of World War II look like a fucking picnic. The crises that the world is facing and the bad actors who are attempting to keep it going, who are actively fighting attempts to fix it, uh, is staggering. We are facing a banality of evil at this moment that is incomprehensible, if you really start to think about it. And it is on every fucking level, you know, it's it is from foreign students we're going to kick out of the country--

Mimi: I know that's infuriating.

Greg: The only reason to do that is to kill higher education, at a time when higher education is its most vulnerable. It’s the only reason to do it.

Mimi: Yeah, it's all insidious

Greg: That is-- that is a-- that is a direct, direct attack on the intellect of the country. It is it is an attack trying to make the United States dumber, because the stupider we get the easier we are for these fucking fascists to control. Right, we have-- we are at war with Russia, but we have the GOP and the president refusing to admit it, because they work for Russia.

Mimi: Yeah yeah.

Greg: Right, but we are at war with Russia right now. All right, there's no question. We have a president who is actively promoting a white supremacist agenda, because he wants a race war, because he wants a civil war, because that way he won't have to lose the election and he won't have to leave, because if he leaves he's going to get raped to death when he goes to prison.

Mimi: Tell me how you really feel, Greg!

Greg: We are-- we are literally at a staggering crisis.

Mimi: Yeah yeah no, and when you're explaining all of those things about the film that was exactly what I was thinking was, well and that is why it's so frustrating when something as simple as, I hear people say ‘well I don't believe I should have to wear a mask' that's why it's so infuriating-- [they talk over each other a little]

Greg: --selfish thing to do

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: It is a staggering selfishness. I-- [mocking] 'oh it's hard for me to breathe wearing a face mask' it's like, 'you're the same guy who won't wear a condom because it doesn't feel good!’ you know, and it's like-- and-- I’ve got no tolerance for that, I literally have no tolerance. You know, you can't do-- it's funny, you're asking ER people to do it 24 hours a day.

Mimi: Exactly

Greg: They seem to manage it!

Mimi: Have you seen, uh, Jon Stewart lately, he's been doing a lot of interviews and there was this one where he's like 'yeah, I mean what happened to wearing a mask as like a sign of a medical professional? So the next time you go to surgery you're to tell your surgeon 'don't you dare wear a mask, get that liberal shit away from me, because I'm an American, I don't need your mask--'

Greg: '--I don't need you I’ll take those dreams(?)--'

Mimi: Yeah yeah

Greg: It's bullshit, it's selfish bullshit, and it's propaganda.

Mimi: Yeah right.

Greg: And it comes down from, you know, it comes down from, you know, the hissy fiddler in chief.

Mimi: Yeah. Lack of leadership.

Greg: Exactly.

Mimi: I'm living in it in Florida, too. Let me tell you that that trickle down is no joke, here.

Greg: I hate to tell you, Mimi, but [sarcastic] thank you, Florida. You know. Florida: the reason why the rest of the country can't have nice things.

Mimi: I know! Florida wins, every time it's so embarrassing!

Greg: I would be, I would consider moving [if he lived in Florida], simply because I would be infuriated.

Mimi: I know and, you know, I thought about it in 2016, but then I thought ‘I will stay and fight!’ because of you! You’re the one that wrote at the end of Lazarus to stay and fight, and now it's your fault that I'm staying! [Both laughing]

Greg: But see and here's the thing, right-- we can, we can rag on Florida, easy target, the fact of the matter is there are plenty of Floridians who are wearing masks and looking around and being like 'what the hell is the matter with you guys'.

Mimi: Yes! So we're trying! We’re trying!

Greg: And this is the other thing the vast number of people who are trying to do right, the people who do have empathy, the people who do care, we outnumber these guys! But the problem in being in a situation where we're all in it together is it doesn't take many people who say 'I'm not in it with you' to fuck it up for everybody else. That’s the problem. And then that is tied to the fact that those of us who do look at one another with empathy are resistant to-- for instance, taking a baseball bat to the people who are ruining for the rest of us. And this is one of the things frankly that we need to get over. We need to get to a place where it is not-- it is not tolerated. We need to get to a place where-- and the starkest example is this, you know, if you're going to pull out that racist bullshit somebody needs to hit you. There was a time when racists were scared and the reason they were scared was because they got punched in the mouth. And we stopped punching Nazis in the mouth!

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: we've stopped punching Nazis in the mouth! And we have spent way too long right now trying to reason with people when they are working from a place that defies reason. If you start your argument with 'you don't have a right to exist'. I'm not going to convince you! I have no obligation to convince you! None! None whatsoever! You look me in the eye and you say 'because you're Jewish you should die,' I get to say, 'guess what, here's the baseball bat'. That does not engage me. I will engage you about policy decisions.

Mimi: Mm-hmm yeah.

Greg: You know, Mark is fond of saying-- I remember he said 'I missed the days when I used to be able to argue with my republican friends about policy'.

Mimi: Yeah yeah I know.

Greg: You can't do that anymore, now it's about ideology and it's not even valid ideology. It is a demonstrably invalid ideology and we know it.

Mimi: Yeah yeah yeah the moral compass has been completely destroyed.

Greg: And we know how that happened and we know why that happened.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And we all know that Mark Zuckerberg is not doing anything to fix it, because Mark Zuckerberg is a chicken shit.

Mimi: Oh you mean 'Mark Zuckerberg, comma, the known pedophile'? Who doesn't believe in checking facts?

Greg: Yeah. I'm talking about Mark Zuckerberg, who was recently seen having sex with dead goats.

Mimi: [laughs] That one, okay got it. [laughs again, pause] so, uh……... The Old Guard... I'm just kidding!

Greg: No, but, okay but to bring it back around, I think that... look, there's one of the things that I love about the movie, and I think Gina and especially Charlize's performance, carries is the melancholy of it. But to end the movie on this note that Nile brings. This grace note that is, I think, it's not a call to arms, but it is an affirmation of what we can do. It doesn't matter, it literally is-- take away their immortality, the message is the same. and I'll take that message right now, man, without hesitation.

Mimi: Yeah it's true, she made the choice to get into the fight and to, you know, back up her team, her new family basically is what it is and, um, I would be amiss if I didn't talk about my unbelievable love for Nicky! [pause] and Joe! I, oh my god, [fangirling intensifies] so I loved it as much in the comic, but seeing it on screen... There was just something very magical for me, especially, you know, the scene in the truck and Joe does his 'my boyfriend' speech. you know, I-- oh my gosh. I think I rewound and rewatched that part because it was just so beautiful and so perfectly executed and, um-- that relationship to me, is just that's what I need right now. Like I need to believe in love, and I need to see, um, the happy parts of the film.

Greg: Marwan killed that, but I gotta tell you, one of my favorite moments is the moment when they're in the lab and, uh, and Nicky being like, 'much as I like watching you sleep...' and just the warmth between them on that and, you know, 'I’ve been thinking about Malta' and 'which time in Malta' and--

[both, very cutely] 'Ah that time in Malta!'

Greg: Yeah and I just, you know, Luca and Marwan. I look-- the casting on the movie is superlative. I just --I cannot imagine how they could have cast better. But the genuine friendship between Luca and Marwan, behind the scenes. They were, you know, they were going out and drinking at night, and Leandro has a photo of the two of them, uh, between setups outside of the soundstage at Shepparton, and they're kicking a soccer ball back and forth! They just, you know, they just loved each other as people.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: You know what I mean? They were tight.

Mimi: Yeah yeah it translates! It really, it really translates on film. Like it's, you know, obviously maybe they're not like in love and like this couple, but you could see there's this chemistry, and they're friends, and there's a love for one another and, um, oh gosh it really translates. And so yeah-- I oh-- I just want to take Nicky home with me.

Greg: There is a shot-- it's one of the last--it's the last, I think, solo shot on Luca and it's the moment when he's looking at the sociogram, and he's just got his head cocked to the side... and it is... it's one of those things that you can only do in film, right, because it's --literally the camera, he is looking past the camera at this thing that the audience isn't seeing, and all it is him looking at it, and it's not like his he's doing facial calisthenics or anything.

Mimi: Right yeah

Greg: And I look at that shot and I just adore him-- and I can't even tell you-- I don't know if he was acting. It looks like acting to me!

Mimi: Right yeah Luca did such a spot on--

Greg: But that look in that moment. And me-- I just go-- like oh my god. He is so good.

Mimi: Yeah yeah.

Greg: He is so good.

Mimi: So let's talk a little bit about being on set because I know that you, uh, of course it's Stump Town but you weren't as involved in it the way that you were with this film being the screenwriter... um, you know, what was just kind of some memorable moments for you or what challenging moments even?

Greg: Challenging moments? Okay, um, this is gonna get me in trouble. I’ll tell you-- so I’ll tell you a couple of my favorite stories. Um, challenging was-- there were a lot of night shoots. And it was roughly, you know, I mean we're talking on the ninth, and I think I got back from England almost a year ago tomorrow, right. And I had been in England for about four or five weeks working on the film. And, a lot of those were night shoots on location. And that meant that you would, you know, end up going out during the day and you would have to wait until full dark in England, in summer. So there was literally shooting on the shortest night of the year, you had three and a half hours of darkness in which to shoot. And it gets a little bit of a grind.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: You know, you're out there, and you're tired, and it is late, and it is cold, and there are only so many, you know, Americanos you can get from craft services (?) [laughs] yeah, um, and that was... that was exhausting. Um, I will tell you the best day I had.

Mimi: Yes.

Greg: Um, and this is going to piss people off, if they ever hear this and they won't so. Um, Mark Evans is this wonderful wonderful man, who was the producer on the movie. He was the guy on the ground. And when I arrived there had been, um, I mean-- so the long and the short of it is this: I got fired from the project in January of 2019. They brought in another writer for about six to eight weeks, they fired that writer. They brought in another writer, uh, and at that point Gina was re-engaging me. And then I ended up, by the time I was back out there, I was rehired on the production. But in that interim of like two and a half, three months, there had been different scenes and variations on the script. And so when I arrived the draft was this Frankenstein thing that was some of my original stuff, and some of the stuff Gina had done, and some of the stuff the last writer had done, and then the stuff that I had been doing throughout May and into June before I got there. And we ended up, um, on this day and it was super hot, and it's the sequence when they are filming-- it's the sequence outside of Andy's mine. And it was the arrival at the mine and then it's the scene with Andy and Nile outside of the mine. And those were shot at a quarry, um, in or near... I want to say Sussex.

Mimi: Okay.

Greg: So it's about an hour and a half outside of London and it is already scorching hot as we're headed out there. And we all know it's going to be all day, because we're going to have to, um, set everything up to then shoot dusk as dawn, right?

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: So I'm staying at this hotel and they have a driver, you know, the driver was assigned to me and I forget his name-- he was lovely, it was this great guy, and these guys are all interesting anyway, like the set drivers-- there's a whole discussion to be had about these guys. This guy is terrific, and we're driving down and we're talking, because I like talking to these guys, and, you know, I'm not going to be able to write in the car because I'll throw up everywhere. And he tells me that, oh yeah, you know, his parents moved down here and this and that, and I knew going out that day that Mark and I were going to spend the day in a trailer trying to compile everything into one collective draft. And I already wasn't looking forward to that, because I’d be like 'I'm gonna be in a goddamn trailer all day doing that. I don't wanna...’ [grumbles]. But I said to him 'wait a minute you're from around here?' he says 'oh yeah, you know.'[pause] '...you know, any good pubs?' and he says, 'uh, I do, yeah, there's a great old pub I can think of' and I say 'okay'. So we get to the location, and we are in the middle of nowhere because it's a FUCKING quarry.

Mimi: Right.

Greg: And base camp where they put the trailers is literally a mile from where they're shooting.

Mimi: Okay

Greg: Right because you have to go up this hill and up these little roads to the quarry. It’s an old quarry. and I get there, and nobody's around, and one of the assistants says 'oh Mark's over there' and I go okay and I go to Mark's trailer and I knock on the door, and I open the door, and he's sitting there. And it's not glamorous. Understand these are not the movies star trailers, these are not airstream trailers, these are absolutely no frills-- like there-is-a-bathroom-and- two- tables trailers, right? There's nothing sexy about them. This is not--I know what people think of when they go oh 'you're in a [noises]'. No! This trailer-- I mean Charlize may have had a glorious trailer--

Mimi: Right, this was not Charlize's trailer

Greg: Yeah Kiki might have, you know, I don't know--

Mimi: This is more like a middle school trailer.

Greg: Exactly. The example is this is the kind of trailer that they bring to the elementary school when they've run out of classrooms, right

Mimi: Right.

Greg: Right and so Mark's sitting there. And he's-- and the thing about Mark is he's got so much energy, and he says 'Rucka!' and I say 'Mark! ...let's go to a pub.' and he goes '...can we do that?' and I say 'do we have to be here today to do this? There a reason you have to be here, in this trailer, to do this work?' and he goes '...let's go to a pub!'. So we find the driver, and I say to him-- I think his name was Steve-- and I say 'Steve, can you take us to that pub?' and he says 'yeah!'. So we get in the car-- and we drive, and it takes about 20 minutes, and about 15 minutes into the drive Evans is looking at me like 'this is not go-- I thought it was nearby'. And, you know, its like-- it is nearby, but these are little narrow roads --

Mimi: Right right.

Greg: --the driver had to orient... and we finally get to this place-- this beautiful old pub up on top of this hill--

Mimi: Wow.

Greg: --in Sussex, on the hottest day of the year so far, underneath these trees, at these benches-- and this is an old pub, like they closed at like two and didn't open again until five and we got there at like 1:30. So we got there, we get lunch, we get a plate, and we sit out there and we work until like 5:30-6. And about halfway into this Mark's like 'we're gonna get in so much trouble for doing this'. It’s my favorite day on this set right now. literally lo and behold by about the time five o'clock, six o'clock, rolls around he's starting to get calls from his assistant being like 'they want to know where you are'.

Mimi: Right. [jokingly] 'We’re working offset!'

Greg: And we did! We got it all compiled and then we drove back to location and-- we were there when they did the actual shooting and everything. But that was, and will probably be to the end of my days, one of my most favorite film experiences, which is the part of making the movie where we got to go 'we get to go do this now'

Mimi: Yeah yeah.

Greg: You know, and that was, it was a treat. I loved it.

Mimi: I love that, yeah. And it's so great because you needed some creativity. Like a trailer just doesn't do it, so I thought that made it a lot of sense. How much fun, though, because I often hear that when people are filming in different places, you don't get to explore in the way that you would like to. So it's nice that you kind of were able to take a mini break. A one day break.

Greg: But it really was --and I do kind of mean it-- was a present.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: I have photos from time on set, and there's a shot... the house that was used for Merrick’s apartment, is called the jura house, and it's apparently owned by some Russian oligarch, and it's a very shi-shi, fancy, you know, 800-architectural-awards house.

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: And I have a photo of Evans and me-- I think Leo took it --and we're literally sitting on the floor, in the basement, which is where all the monitors were set up, as they're filming upstairs... backs to the wall, each of us with our laptops on our knees, each of us using these, uh, rifle bags that have been doubled and tripled over as pillows. And that's the experience on The Old Guard. It’s literally [?? I’m not sure what he said, ‘doing our best’ maybe ??] and, um, yeah, so yeah. It is a remarkable-- and you know this, you made a movie-- it's a remarkable amount of hard work. You come out of the experience going-- and I’ve said this before-- once you are involved in the making of a movie, you can never walk away going 'god how do they manage to make such a bad movie?' The question is always 'how did they manage to make a movie?'

Mimi: Yeah.

Greg: The mere act of forcing this kind of bizarre storytelling into creation... is it's staggering. It defies any realm of logic... the precision required, the commitment required, the attention required, to create something that's going to exist on somebody's eyeballs for a second or two or three. Shot by shot. You know, um, it's insane.

Mimi: Yeah it is, yeah and there's so many moving parts, you know, and you're such a huge part of this one and so I'm so excited to see how well it came together. and it-- from what you could see, because you were saying 'oh, you know, everybody was close on set they were playing soccer and all these things' and it's like, you can see that it's a film that has, you know, cohesion. like it's very well put together, like you could feel that everything was in its place, like I could see you got along with Gina, I could see that, you know, you could see each part was where it needed to be, because seeing sets that fall apart-- and you-- it isn't a question of how movies fall apart and they don't, you know, go from one process to another, there's no, um, you know, synergy between the people working. But it really really did come together and I'm super super excited for you, and excited for the sequel! My my only thing--

Greg: Potential! [sequel]

Mimi: Potential! Oh I think I think that, uh, viewers are going to want more. like I said, it's a film that we do need right now and I think it's a refreshing, uh, type of thing where we can kind of just take a moment away and be lost in a film. I think that's a gift, because I find that that doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to these days! Uh, but, um, but yeah the casting, everything was beautiful, and I'm so happy for you, as a writer but also as a filmmaker now. My only quarry, my only disappointment is I was not around to, um --especially since there could be a sequel-- to at least audition for Qynh because I know there's some awesome sword work that could be coming in the future! And I'm so like-- but I'm super excited because Veronica, you know, the little we did get to see of her, she did a fabulous job! But I was like 'man I would have liked to throw my hat in for that one'. [laughs]

Greg: Gotta talk to your agent!

Mimi: I know!

Greg: I didn't have anything to do with casting!

Mimi: I know, I know, I know. No, but it's super exciting to see kind of that how it all comes together. Especially reading it, right, because of course like I said, I've read the rest of the comic. I know the new one just dropped!

Greg: Yeah, issue five will be out next week.

Mimi: That's very exciting! So yes so, uh, listeners go ahead and grab that! Get the whole thing though, so you could see it from beginning to end! Because, uh, it does kind of complement seeing the movie, you know, it complements it. You get that backstory, you kind of get the feeling for the characters in a different way, and like you said they're different mediums. Um, but both really amazing stories, and a lot of fun to, um, to be a part of. And to experience so super exciting [they both make weird excited noises] so, uh, hopefully we'll talk again next week, I know you have been going crazy with all these interviews but, um, everybody go and watch The Old Guard right now! Because it is available, you can turn on your Netflix and you don't have to wait, it's right there!

Greg: Right there!

Mimi: Right there for you!

Greg: In fact you won't even have to search for it!

Mimi: No, it's gonna be number one!

Greg: It's gonna shove it in your face!

Mimi: Yeah it'll be recommended for you, and, um, I also, uh, you know, as a filmmaker. I know that you guys don't need as big of a push because it's Netflix and all but, you know, give it a little rating! Go on to imdb and give it some love. Um, because why not? [laughs] Alright Greg, I don't want to take up much more of your time, I think you need to unwind and enjoy this. Congratulations on your film and, uh, we're super excited for it!

Greg: Thank you Mimi!

Mimi: That's all for today's episode! Thanks for listening to culture chat and hope you enjoyed the conversation.

#it was completely random whether i included the 'um's tbh #also warning greg goes on a Political Rant in the middle so if that kind of thing bothers you: there it is

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1044

survey by a7xbabii

Do you use e-mail often? I use it for eight hours, five days a week for work, so yes.

Do you hear any animals right now? I’m in a Starbucks inside a mall situated in the middle of a busy highway. It would be very unlikely to hear any animals right now.

Are you in a well-lit room? Sure, I’d say this establishment has good lighting. There’s no light directly above me unlike the other seats, but it’s okay in this case as I don’t want other people seeing me take surveys.

Is your trashcan full? The main one we use at home just got full, so the last time I checked this morning my mom was airing it out.

What was the last crunchy thing you consumed? My chicken barbecue sandwich from last night.

Did you view anything disturbing today? Hmm, I guess so? I wanted to entirely redo one part of my embroidery piece since I wasn’t happy with how I did it, so I had to remove the threads and stuff. When they were all gone the template was filled with holes and it looked like one of those trypophobia photos. I’m not personally disturbed by that phenomenon, but I know a lot of people are.

Are there any holiday decorations in your house? Yeah, we’ve had our Christmas tree up since the beginning of November. We also usually put a wreath up our door but idk why my mom didn’t this year.

When was the last time you had a terrible headache? Last night, because I had not eaten all day.

Have you recently put lotion on your hands? No. I don’t like the feeling of lotion, so I don’t apply it on me a lot, if at all.

Are you hungry? Not so much, actually. I don’t feel too hungry today; I didn’t even finish my breakfast and that’s the only meal I’ve had so far today, and it’s already 4 PM.

Is it rainy where you're at right now? No, it’s quite fair. The sun’s not too strong anymore because of the time, but it’s still very much bright out.

Do you carry a purse? If so, describe what it looks like. I take a wallet with me. It’s pink, made of fake leather, has three main slots inside, and it also has some tiny bite marks on the outer edges from when Cooper was a lot younger.

Is your cell phone on vibrate? For certain notifications only, like texts and Viber.

Is your dishwasher full? We don’t use a dishwasher.

When is the last time you saw someone you like/love. Around a week and a half ago.

Do you like to wear gloves? No, I find them too itchy and I don’t need to wear them anyway.

Is there a body of water near where you live? There’s a creek that passes through my village near the clubhouse area, if that counts.

What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? No opinion. I never listened to them; though I am reminded of this one mutual I used to have on Tumblr/Twitter. She used to be a wrestling fan and was a part of our main circle, but she gradually shifted her main fandom to Avenged Sevenfold. By the time she cemented her new interest she then went on a huge unfollowing spree of wrestling fans on her feed and she apparently PM’d each person she intended to unfollow, including me. I remember her explaining that she was now in a different fandom and was gonna have to stop following me which I found...kinda extra to be honest lmao because nobody does that, but I appreciate the effort to approach each one of us, I guess.

Are you wearing anything pink right now? Nope, but my wallet is pink and so is my keyboard cover.

Do you like to swim in the ocean? I prefer beaches, but sure.

What is the creepiest bug you've ever saw? Cockroaches.

Do you currently have split ends? I don’t think so.

When is the last time you used the bathroom? Around five hours ago when I took a shower before heading out.

Do you chew on your lip? Almost never.

Are you afraid of needles? For the most part yeah, especially syringes. I’m not afraid of them when I do my embroidery, but that’s the only time I feel comfortable with a needle.

What is the last thing you lost? A pen, I think.

When is the last time you saw a bald person? Five hours ago, when I said bye to my dad.

What car were you last in? [continued from two days ago] My own. I was driving home from the mall.

Do you like Batman? I tried to get into Batman and the whole shebang of comic books when I was a teenager, but I just couldn’t.

Have you ever played tennis? Never have, actually. I’ve always wanted to try.

Can you see a star shape in the room you are in? Probably not in my bedroom.

What are you sitting on? A pillow I’ve placed on my work chair so that it’s more comfortable. My parents got me a basic chair initially meant just for my internship, so it’s not the comfiest of chairs haha. But now that I have a job, a more suitable work chair is probably one of things I’ll have to invest on.

What is the last warm thing you touched? My chest felt itchy just a few seconds ago, so I was able to feel my skin scratching it.

Do you use hand sanitizer? That’s kind of a necessity now, so...

Where do you want to go in life? [continued from...I don’t even remember anymore] I don’t know if I even plan to make it past 30 at this point. I can’t answer this right now.

Are you sweating? No, I’ve been in air-conditioned rooms all day and it feels so damn good.

When is the last time you had to scratch an itch? A few minutes ago when my neck itched.

Are you in any kind of club or group that is trying to save animals? No, but I very much support the cause.

Who is the last blonde you saw? At work today I saw someone who had her hair dyed blonde.

Where were you two hours after you got up, and what were you doing there? I needed to go to the office today because my team and I needed to pack some stuff to seed to certain media. It was the first time I got to visit the place and it was sooooooo homey and pretty :) I wish we can be allowed to work in the office soon; it would be best for my mental health at this point.

Do you wish for world peace? Um, of course.

Have you ever played fetch with a dog? We were able to teach Cooper how to pick up items that we throw but he’s still slowly learning that he actually has to give it back to us, haha.

What is the nearest object that is wood? The table I am typing on is made of wood.

Do you use Netflix? Yes, we have a family subscription.

Does your house have a fireplace? No, we don’t. And I can confidently tell you all other houses in this entire country, and probably the whole of Southeast Asia, don’t.

Do you wake yourself up in the morning, or does someone else? I wake myself up. On important days, I’ll put an alarm on.

What kind of hoodie did you last wear? It was a white hoodie with a UP seal on the left side.

Do you play games on your computer? No, my laptop isn’t equipped for games. I tried downloading Sims 4 when they made it free for a few weeks back in 2018, but my laptop’s fan started whirring like crazy and the battery got drained super fast. The entire period of me booting it up and then deleting it took like, a literal 15 minutes.

What is the last video game that you played? Mario Kart 8 on the Switch. I want to get myself Switch games as gifts, but I’m just so stingy towards myself hahaha.

Have you ever pet a stingray? I’m 50% would like to at least once and 50% I know of what it did to Steve Irwin, and I’m not messing with them.

If you were on vacation, would you ever go to Ireland? It’s not a big item on my bucket list, honestly. I’d love to go to Ireland, but it would probably be a part of a bigger itinerary, like if I decided to take a trip to that part of Europe.

Are you logged into Myspace right now? I haven’t been on there for more than a decade.

Did you have anything bad happen to you today? Yeah, but they’re stuff that happened at work that are a little hard to explain.

Have you ever been to New York? Nope. I’d love to take a trip there.

Do you use the term "lol" if you don't have anything to say? Not really. I use it in the end of my messages more so that I don’t sound mean.

Should you be sleeping right now instead of taking this survey? Hell no. It’s a Friday night so the last thing I want to be doing is sleeping.

Can you truly say you hate anyone? I don’t think so. I greatly dislike my brother, but I guess I don’t hate him. I find it too strong a word.

Have you ever disected a baby pig in a class at school? Not a piglet, no. We dissected an earthworm, a fish, and eventually a frog.

What brand of dish liquid do you use? A local brand you wouldn’t recognize.

When is the last time you ate a Hershey Kiss? It’s probably been more than a year. It’s not my favorite candy.

Do you ever feel unappreciated? Yes.

Do you currently have any blemishes on your face? No. My pimple finally went away, hallelujah.

Who is the last baby you held? My cousin who is now 13 years old. I’m too anxious to hold babies; I always feel like I’d drop them so I find myself declining even when I have the chance to hold one.

Are you a lover? I guess.

Do you use smileys often in text convos? Yes. Not a lot of people like them but it’s better to sound friendly and approachable than stoic.

Do you have the Google toolbar on your computer? Like...Chrome? I have the program, yeah. It’s my default browser as well.

Do you like Sunkist? I’ve never had it.

Would you ever consider being a cannibal? I mean...I guess only if I was in a life-and-death situation, like if a plane I was in crashed on an island and I was starting to get hungry. I certainly don’t fantasize about cannibalism on any regular day.

Did you forget something important in the past week? I made a few mistakes at work due to me forgetting things, yeah.

Do you like learning new things? Sure.

What color is your toothpaste? White.

Are the floors in your house creaky? Nopes. I don’t think our doors are creaky-level just yet as well.

Do you fear death? I hate the uncertainty of what happens while it’s taking place, and what happens after. But I’ve been wishing for it for a while as well. There’s a difference.

Is your mouth dry? Not right now, no.

Do yoou have any scars from an animal? Yeah I’ve got a few marks and scratches from Cooper. I never run out of them, really.

Did you have fun with this survey? It was okay.

Was it random enough? Sure.

#survey #surveys

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superman86to99 · 4 years

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Adventures of Superman #505 (October 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMAN! The Reign is over, and Superman does what we’d all do after being dead for several weeks and coming back to life: no, not visiting your parents, making out with Lois Lane.

Or more than making out, since the next page starts with a caption that says “Later...” and lets us know that they both had to take a shower. (NOTE: Check Don Sparrow’s section below for artist Tom Grummett’s definitive take on what happened in that scene.)

Their post-resurrection bliss comes to a stop when they remember a little detail: Clark Kent is still presumed dead. How are they gonna explain his return without making the extremely smart residents of Metropolis suspect that Superman and the guy who looks like Superman but with glasses are actually the same person? Superman’s mind immediately goes into “wacky bullshit excuse” mode and he starts spitballing ideas, like claiming Clark lost his memory, or was carried by underwater currents, or was abducted by aliens. Honestly, I’m pretty sure that last one would work, since there have been THREE major alien invasions in the past few years, but Lois thinks no one would be dumb enough to fall for that sort of thing. Really, Lois? No one?

At this point, Superman picks up some supervillain activity with his super hearing, so he gets dressed and goes there (though it would have been pretty intimidating for the criminals if she’d shown up in that shower rug). A bank uptown has been taken over by Loophole, a S.T.A.R. Labs accountant who stole a gizmo that allows him to phase through walls. When Superman shows up to arrest him and his henchmen (are they all villainous accountants?), Loophole literally puts his first through Superman’s chest, instantly killing him. RIP Superman, again.

Nah, Supes just swats Loophole away and breaks the gizmo, causing him to get his crotch area stuck inside a vault door. Now he has to change his supervillain name to “DickVault”.

(I freaking love Maggie Sawyer, btw.)

After that, Superman goes to one of the areas trashed by his fight with Doomsday and helps clean up the junk that’s still laying around there. It’s then that he finally reunites with his best friend and most valued ally: Bibbo Bibbowski. (Jimmy Olsen’s there, too, unfortunately.)

Bibbo also introduces Superman to the dog he named in honor of his home planet, Krypto -- and it’s Krypto who provides the most significant moment in this issue. The little mutt starts barking at some debris from a destroyed building, leading Superman to examine it with his X-Ray vision and find some kids underneath.

Turns out the kids had been trapped there since the Doomsday fight, leading some random passerby (fine, Jimmy) to wonder if Clark could be stuck in a similar situation. Superman and Lois look at each other... giving Superman an idea and providing the premise for next week’s issue.

Character-Watch:

First appearance of Loophole (real name Deke Dickinson, C.P.A.), who would become a running joke in Karl Kesel’s Superman and Superboy comics. While his phasing powers are tech based, he also has the metahuman ability to somehow convince attractive women to be his girlfriends/henchwomen despite being a balding little dweeb. In this issue he’s dating a blonde named Sheila (who wears a mask, so maybe she’s actually hideous), but I’m pretty sure he had other girlfriends in future issues.

Plotline-Watch:

As I said... holy shit, five years ago: no one draws Supes coming back to Lois after an extended absence like Tom Grummett. This scene is almost a remake of the one from that issue when Superman comes back from his time traveling jaunt. There’s also a callback to Man of Steel #25, when Lois hears a tap on her window and thinks it’s Superman, but it’s just some dumb bird. This time she gets it the other way around:

Don Sparrow says: “There’s a cute visual callback to the last time Superman returned after a long absence on page 18, when Superman is reunited with Jimmy. It’s a near identical pose to Action #643, where Superman returned from exile in space (and in that moment, infected Jimmy with Eradicator-based space sickness, womp womp).” I think he’s instinctively throwing Jimmy up in the air, hoping the cold of space will kill him. Unfortunately, both murder attempts were unsuccessful.

As seen above, Maggie Sawyer wasn’t too convinced that “Fabio” here was Superman at first. That changes when he calls her “Captain” even though she was recently promoted to Inspector, and she’s like “only a dead man wouldn’t know all the precise ranks for the local authorities!”

The surviving non-Supermen are seen arriving at S.T.A.R. Labs for medical care after the Engine City showdown. Don again: “There are some mild continuity issues stemming from Superman #82, which perhaps wasn’t completely finished being drawn while Tom Grummett worked on this one, as Steel’s costume is almost entirely intact, when we last saw it a week ago, it was in tatters. Ditto the Eradicator, who was a wizened husk, and now is apparently a scorched Ivan Drago.” Let’s assume Supergirl worked her clothes-shifting magic on Steel’s armor and the Eradicator’s, uh, hair.

There’s a short scene where Superboy is visited by his reporter pal Tana Moon, who tells him she quit WGBS and is leaving Metropolis. Awww. Goodbye, Tana. Or should I say... aloha?

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor Jr. has a scene with Dr. Happersen where he says he intends to control or destroy anyone who wears the “S” symbol. Basically, if he can’t date them, they should be dead. He also instructs Happersen to help Cadmus’ Director Westfield get in contact with disgraced genetician Dabney Donovan. Get ready for a whole lot of clone-related shenanigans in the near future.

And now, more Don Sparrow-related shenanigans after the jump!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

This issue is another favourite of mine, but I suppose all these issues around the Death and Return are faves when I really think about it. My copy of this issue had the holographic fireworks cover, and it’s a good one. I like that Superman and the Daily Planet are in natural colour, rather than holograms. The cover credit goes Karl Kesel, Tom Grummett and Doug Hazlewood, so I’m not sure what the breakdown was (or if that’s just a handwritten cover credit, just in case?

The story opens with one of my favourite sequences ever, with Lois waking up on her couch, having fallen asleep following the events in Coast City. I love the detail as she opens the curtain, we see her engagement ring, indicating she knows her real fiancée has returned. This sequence is followed up by two pages of splashes of the passionate reunion of the best couple in comics. All beautifully rendered as they float, locked in a passionate, sunrise kiss. Just lovely (so lovely that I am willing to overlook a small colouring error, as Lois has black hair instead of reddish brown for one panel). [Max: I can confirm that they fixed that in the collections.]

What follows is a very cute scene, and one of some debate among Superman fans. There’s no overt evidence of what happened, all we get is a cryptic caption reading “later…”. Again, I give credit for the subtlety of the writers, as they depict this scene in a way that can be read either way: maybe Clark and Lois made love, and the “later” we are seeing is afterglow, or maybe Lois had a shower since she just woke up after sleeping in her clothes. Then, after calling his parents while Lois showered, Clark had a shower himself. I feel like today’s writers wouldn’t feel the need to be so subtle, and might lose the sweetness of this scene.

In previous posts, I’ve talked about my friendship with artist Tom Grummett, and how as a boy, I would wear him out with all my dumb fanboy questions. Once I got older, and our relationship became a little more collegial (just a little closer to collegial, since I in no way consider myself anywhere near his level of skill or success) I would really try not to geek out too much when we would visit. But the one question I had to ask was about this scene, and what their intention, or interpretation of it was, as I was always curious. Once I had explained to him which issue it was (the guy has drawn hundreds, so they might not all spring to mind immediately!) he admitted that his assumption was indeed that they had sex. So there you have it! [Max: Hot damn! Another Superman ‘86 to ‘99 exclusive, folks!]

However you wish to read this scene, the choreography, and facial expressions as they horse around is really sweet and fun, and such a nice, light tone compared to the do-or-die pace the books had been for the last two years or so. Their easy joking, and back and forth banter really do a great job of showing them as a real couple.

It’s a very nice pose on Supergirl as she lifts off, simultaneously spurning Superboy’s romantic complaints.

I quite like the design on Loophole, and his gang. Loophole himself kinda harkens back to the silver age villains of the Flash as Loophole has a unique hairline, is an older man, with a pretty average build, which was rare for villains in the 90s. His gimmick is pretty cool, too, though we immediately see its vulnerability.

The tearful reunion of the now-sober Bibbo and Superman is also a great moment—if anyone rose to the challenge of living up to Superman’s example in his absence, it was Bibbo. I discuss the scene in more detail in the observations later, but the image of Superman whipping away the debris on page 20 is a great visual, with the dust clouds creating great motion and urgency.

On the whole, a great first issue for the return to the never-ending battle, even if it brings us closer to Grummett’s last issue on this title (for a while).

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

Could Superman referring to the Death and Return storyline as a dream, while stepping out of the shower be a reference to Dallas, and their famous about-face after an unpopular season, where Bobby Ewing emerged from the shower, alive and well, dismissing a yearlong storyline as a dream?

A coy semi-reference to perhaps my favourite line in the first Reeve Superman film on page 8, where Supergirl says “Easy steel, we’ve got you, then later adding, “ok, you got me”.

A little more issue-to-issue dissonance with Superboy reversing himself from the end of Superman #82, where he said clearly that Kal-El was Superman, with Superboy pointing out that legally, he’s Superman and not Kal. [Max: I think he’s talking strictly in the legal sense, since he helps Superman deal with the legal problem on the next issue and all.]

For all the times that Superman has used his heat vision on guns (as he does on page 11), we’ve never seen rounds get burned off, firing on their own because of the heat. There might be an idea there.

An odd sorta-cameo by Erik Larsen’s Savage Dragon, who Superman apparently defeats in the waterfront district. An eagle-eyed reader asked Larsen about it in issue #6 of Dragon’s own book, and he nixed any proper crossover rumours, saying it was just a shout-out from Larsen’s buddy Karl Kesel. Eventually they’d meet in Superman/Savage Dragon: Chicago, a so-so crossover in 2002.

A slightly bawdy joke from one of the Loophole gang, on page 14, as the moll of Deke Dickson calls Loophole a “weiner”.

GODWATCH: A stirring moment when Superman detects the faintest of life-signs, thanks to would-be super-pup, Krypto, and responds “God willing” when someone asks if anyone is alive in that wreckage. The love and concern in Superman’s eyes when he says he’d “rather die” himself than let little ones perish is a tear-jerker moment for sure. Bonus points for the cuteness of Superman heaping praise on Krypto, with the line “if that dog could fly, I’d put a cape on him…”

Question: Does Jimmy know? He comes up with the solution to the Clark problem very conveniently. Maybe he’s smarter than we (and by we, I mean Max) give him credit for? [Max: It was all Krypto! Okay, I’ll concede that maybe Jimmy is as smart as a dog.]

#superman #karl kesel #tom grummett #doug hazlewood #superboy #steel #supergirl #S.T.A.R. Labs #eradicator #loophole #maggie sawyer #dan turpin #sydney happersen #tana moon #bibbo bibbowski #krypto #dickvault #the man whose dick is a vault

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namjoonchronicles · 5 years

Note

Hi lovey!!! Hope you are alright! Let’s see how you are gonna kill me with Namjoon and 4# ;) kiss kiss and thank you for Drabble night

4. “Do you...well...I mean...I could give you a massage?”

“Have you got your lunchbox?”

“Yup.”

“The transportation card?”

“Right here.”

Nine years old. A little chubby for his age. But always the good son.

“Today goes as planned okay? Since I can’t fetch you at school at noon, you’ll take the 105 bus to the train and stopped at the second last station and take a 22 bus route home, yes?”

“Yes mom,” he groaned, puffing his cheeks as he fix the bag straps on his shoulder over his winter jacket. He looks up, those doe brown eyes notices that you are rubbing the back of your neck. Hasn’t the sore died down when he asked?

“Mom, do you need a massage?” He asked.

And far in your thoughts, there was a deafening whisper of something similar, translucent with time, gritty and full of weight, coming with a dimpled smile impossible to forget entirely,

“Do you...well...I mean...I could give you a massage?”

Hyun’s big doe eyes brought you back in recent time, a skip in your heart when you remembered that you’re far from that memory. But also so close. You retracted your hand from it and forced out a smile while pouring away the rest of the coffee into the sink, “It’s become a habit... plus. It happens often when I’m stressed, you know that, Hyun. Come on, let’s go.”

You snatch your bag and tuck a lock of your hair behind your ear, yanking the front door open and halting halfway to exclaim, “The car ke—“

“—I got it,” your son yelps.

Your car halts in front of the school gates and instead of you reminding all the things he needs to do, Hyun is nagging you.

“And don’t put your phone silent, because then I call you don’t hear them and then you come at me saying I don’t tell you stuff. And remember to put the brakes up when you park. And drink lots of water just as much as you drink coffee...” “Hyun...” “And the extra house key is in the dashboard. I put charging cables in your bag so your phone don’t run out of batteries...” “Hyun I—“ “There’s extra migraine pills in the top drawer of your desk, remember to take those vitamins...” “Hyun, I’m the mom here okay... and why,” you looked around the view of the school and saw many elder men coming and entering the school. “I hope things work out with you and grandma today, it be nice to have a grandparent,” Hyun’s sausage finger curls around the door handle and lift it open when you tilt your head to the side and smiled, asking out of curiosity, “How did you know about that?”

Hyun shuts the door and you opened the car window.

“You’re not the only smart one in this house,” he stuck out his tongue at you and you did the same. As you drive away, you remembered that you didn’t ask him about the men that are coming to school. Was there an event you missed out on?

Pulling next to the school’s guard who is controlling the traffic, you inquired him politely.

“Oh! It’s Bring Your Dad To School Day...”

Engine purrs to a stop once it arrives at the parking spot. The car beeps as the car unlocks all its doors but you sat frozen in place. Eyes wide and leaning your head back to the head rest in the car alone. Hyun didn’t tell you. He could have a skipped the day but he didn’t. Your selfishness and fear are what brought this to place.

And it is also what made you and your mother stopped talking to each other. It had been 10 years since March on Hyun’s birthday that you meet your parents. Their conservative upbringing made you stray away from them for fear that they wouldn’t accept you for what you’ve done.

But eventually, they find out that you’ve been raising Hyun alone when he turns 3. And they did hurt you by saying that you’ve raised a fatherless child. Honestly, you didn’t care. You can be called a whore or a rich men’s mistress—other people’s assumptions of you doesn’t matter because you know the whole truth. And today, you hoped, you could be truthful. And honestly, being away from your mom is tiring world to live in.

“Mom...” you called and she snapped her head around, smiling. Sharing a long awaited hug felt wholesome. You don’t feel as alone anymore. There’s a comfort in knowing that you could rely on someone.

“How’s Hyun?” She asked, her wrinkles show when her lips curl into a smile and you hurried to yor bag because you remembered Hyun made her something. It was a paper crane and a heart origami.

Your mom touches it with the tip of her fingers, and then fully into her palms, truly appreciating them. Her eyes twinkles.

“He is very into origamis nowadays... I’m going to take him to pottery class soon, it seems he’ll enjoy them,” you bit your smile feeling proud of your child.

“Has he... ever asked about his,” your mom stammered.

“His dad?” You finished her sentence with a beaming face to feign whatever it is in your heart, “Once. Now that he understand, he doesn’t pester me as much. I felt that he would want to know so I told him the truth.”

Your mother extends her hand and covered yours to give it a little squeeze.

“What really happened to Hyun’s dad?”

You blinked a few times. And memories flooded from where it had been buried for a decade. There was a time where you decide that being alone might not be so bad. And somewhere during that time, someone convinced you that life was meant to be shared.

And his name was Kim Namjoon. And he had doe brown eyes.

He is everything. The most captivating mind you have ever met. He sits at the same spot every lecture. He has a lot of friends and quite a chatterbox. Always in tune with the small army of friends he has. Passion that overflows, tall, charismatic, firm handshake. The kind that everyone wants to be associated with. Charming. Alluring. Magnetizing.

An exhibition that you attended far from town shed all of that image of him. Namjoon likes wood, nature and crabs. Namjoon like sweet things and had a deep thought about skies. Namjoon likes flowers and planets and everything in between. And Namjoon notices you.

“Why?” “I guess it makes you very noticeable. Because you bear a soul and not a mask... when you talk about social understanding and reasoning behind things people find confusing, you speak... faster and louder.” “You find it stupid...” you accused, tipping your head to the side away from him. “W-what, no! I think its amazing and I want to hear more than you let out,” Namjoon stammered almost panicking. “Nobody cares about why and if they do, they probably had given up because the numbers keep rising. Teenagers and drugs are seen as normal but it’s not!”

The edges of Namjoon’s lips twitch into a smile, because if you didn’t know who he was, you wouldn’t remember the topic of the event he spoke on. Namjoon rakes on numbers of drug addicts that are in their teenage years and penalties that could be propose to reduce the numbers. His deductions were achievable—in theory but in execution? You doubted it.

“You disagree about the penalties?” “Wrong. I was sceptical of it,” you start to walk and he followed, “All these years, the government proposes using money to taunt youngsters not to take drugs, but has it work? Imprisonment, fines, getting kicked out of schools doesn’t help them—it worsens them. Should I continue or are you already bored?”

Namjoon’s phone rang. He took one perplexed look and replied a message before he answers you. And while you explain, another call arrives. And another. And another.

Until finally,

“I think the discussion should stop here. You’re obviously very busy and I obviously have overstayed the exhibition...” you took a look at your watch and the exhibition worker starts closing down. Has it really been that long? Where did the time go?

“Are you,” he raises his voice as the distance between you two increases, “Are you free tomorrow? I’d really love to continue this. In day light where its appropriate.”

“No,” you shake your head, “Tomorrow we’ll be back in college where you are THE Kim Namjoon and I’m the girl at the far corner judging everyone with my thick full rimmed glasses, no I’m not free.” Your heels swung around, giving him your back and you waved.

But Namjoon is persistent. He passed notes. Asking you for your number and you gave him a pizza place hotline. You thought he will eventually gave up. But no. He actually ordered the pizza at noon the next day and have it personally delivered to you with a huge marker asking for your number yet again. You ate the pizza but passed him a middle finger up across the room when he was smiling in triumph thinking he had won this game. He looks at you fondly while you glare at him across the hall.

“I like a challenge,” he grins at the view of your back.

After that, he starts showing up everywhere. Your lectures, the libraries, the cafe you frequent in, even your lunch spot—literally everywhere. Notes left on your car, in your books, in your bags and one time in your shoes. He really is trying to annoy you like this.

He was speaking to his friends, making big gestures with his hands when you tapped his shoulder and he spun around. You expected him to give you a smug smile but he looks a little frightened, perhaps a little shy. His ears turned red.

You didn’t let that stop you. You slammed a yellow post-it note on his grey shirt right above his heart and he blinked at you as you walked away. His friends are teasing him but all he could hear is his own heartbeat in his ears.

He would text you about his day and make appointments that he calls engagement and at first it was for educational purposes; watching Ice Age reruns for environmental concerns, rare art exhibitions across the city for appreciation towards classic arts, poetry reading to study social engagements—and then the ‘appointments’ turn to, ‘going there because you’ve never been’ trips.

Comic-con. Comic book stores. Watching his animes. Accompanying him to find his KAWS collection. Forest parks. Nursery. Botany farms. Scuba diving. Snorkelling even when he couldn’t swim. Teaching him how to swim. Going to pottery class. Cooking class where he almost burns the hall. Accompanying him to his driving lessons which he failed every time but passes the theory test. Cheering him up because he failed driving lessons. Cheering him up because he sulked about you not telling him you had a medical check-up. Going for icecream trips in winter. Going for bike rides in Autumn. Taking pictures of him by the blossoming Sakura trees in Spring. Taking him to the beach in Summer.

“We’re just friends,” It will break him and you knew. But you didn’t care. When he wakes up and this will all be a dream.

But he woke up and gave you a call. Many calls. Until finally you answered.

“Hey,” he sounded so soft, “Where you went, I woke up and you weren’t here, I called you so many times...”

“We just started a life as a working adult, and everything that happened are just stress...” your pace begins to hasten.

“What are you talking about... it’s not just one time,” Namjoon dug his hand into one pocket, looking out the window of his office.

“It happens between two people and it’s nothing alright.I don’t want you to get any ideas if our relationships should be more than this,” you clenched your eyes shut and stopped in your tracks, “Don’t look for me. Don’t call me ever again.”

End call.

Your mother takes the brim of the cup to her lips.

“And when I got the positive pregnancy test finally, I got rid of him. I changed my number, my address, moved cities with my job and gave birth to Hyun,” you fiddled with your fingers.

“Why did you do that?”

“I wanted a baby that is mine. And mine alone. And I know I wanted his and no one else. I got what I wanted. I can offer him nothing more...I’m undependable. I don’t believe in marriage and this is the closest thing I get to have children of my own. I always wanted to be a mom, not a wife,” you explained.

“Does he know he has a kid?”

You shook your head. Eventhough deep in your heart you knew that he must have found out somehow or felt that he was a father. But what can he do? Hyun is yours and yours alone. Or so you’d like to believe.

“Hyun? It’s your turn...” Hyun looks outside and smiled brightly. Marching into the room with a three-piece suit, looking dashing as ever, was Kim Namjoon.

“Hello, and good morning, I’m Kim Namjoon and I’m Hyun’s dad.”

hi! i recognise your username! thank you for always supporting me! it’s a slight long drabble, because I had a story like this in my head for so long... I hope you like it!

#drabble_games #drabble_games2:parenting #namjoon #bts

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tessatechaitea · 6 years

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Batman #48 & 49: The Best Man

#Batman #Tom King #Mikel Janin #June Chung #DC Comics #The Joker #Catwoman

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theinsatiables · 6 years

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10 Years Later, Why the Wachowskis’ Flop ‘Speed Racer’ Is Actually a Masterpiece

The ability to roll with punches and follow a movie into different emotional realms, especially goofy ones within serious narratives, is the ability to not take yourself too seriously. It is the ability to be adult and roll into all kinds of states of emotion, not just the ones we think we want to be in. To that point, Speed Racer basically requires you to roll with the punches on a pretty extreme level. Yes, the silliness feels silly. But if you accept that, then the danger is dangerous, too. And yes, the epic race across the desert goes on “too long,” but in doing so, it genuinely feels epic.The film is always itself. Especially as it slides back and forth between dramatic and comic emphasis with the blistering assuredness of pure operatic glee, all while living and breathing every moment sincerely. And what else would an 11-year-old’s fever dream about weaponized race cars, ninja fights and family togetherness be but achingly sincere?Speed Racer came out 10 years ago today, and I’m pretty sure I haven’t shut up about it since. But for good reason. I think it remains one of the most criminally overlooked films in recent memory and also one of the most oddly inspiring. While I know there are fellow fans who would wholly agree with this superlative, the notion runs contrary to the conventional wisdom surrounding the film’s release.

Coming off of the unparalleled success of the The Matrix films (even with the under-baked reaction to Matrix: Revolutions), fans were so excited for the Wachowski siblings’ next cinematic foray into something new. And it was going to be Speed Racer! An update of the beloved ’60s anime that many had grown up with! It implied there would electrifying, matrix-esque car chases! Frenetic action! All from the two filmmakers who had come to define the new serious-cool-ass cyberpunk! Hooray!

But for those who loved the leather-clad adult fare of their previous work, they had no idea what to do with this fluffy, neon-soaked bit of confection that was being sold to them. And neither did the general audience. Speed Racer bombed, and it bombed hard. And as a result, many came to dismiss the film without ever seeing it. Or worse, those who saw it simply had no idea what to do with it.

Which is unfortunate.

But to really get on board with Speed Racer, you have to accept its varied intentions. Starting with the fact that yes, this is indeed a true-blue PG kids film. Because of that, it will be unapologetically goofy, over the top and prominently feature monkey gags. Moreover, you have to accept that it is going to devote itself to the notion of being “a live-action cartoon,” one that constantly eschews realism in favor of a hyper-stylized, bright aesthetic as far removed from The Matrix as I can think of.

A lot of people argued that the film’s aesthetic existed in the uncanny valley (which suggests “humanoid objects that appear almost, but not exactly, like real human beings, and which elicit uncanny or strangely familiar feelings of eeriness and revulsion in observers”). But, to me, it works precisely because it’s not even trying for the in-between. Instead, it’s trying to something closer to the humans-in-toon-space of Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Simultaneously, you have to accept that this PG kids film will also be, at times, incredibly serious: a two-hour-and-fifteen-minute epic that delves into convoluted plot-lines of mystery identities, corporate white-collar intrigue, nonsensical plot fake-outs, a surprising amount of gun violence and even a weird climactic rant about stock price manipulation. And all the while, you have to accept that within this, the emotional backbone of the film will be a surprisingly wholesome exhibition of family love, understanding and togetherness.

Yes, all of this exists within Speed Racer. And, tonally-speaking, I mean it when I say it is one of the weirdest movies I have ever seen in my entire life. (It’s also a testament to the trouble that a lot of anime and non-naturalistic Japanese storytelling has in terms of adaptation.) And so I get why that is hard for people to swallow, I really do.

But what we’re really talking about is the push-pull of tone-changing filmmaking, wherein I will argue until I’m blue in the face that singular tones are dead-ends to adventurous storytelling. For instance, I love the work of Christopher Nolan, but if you just layer an entire movie in a singular tone you are, in a way, just lying to the audience. From start to finish, Nolan’s films feel propulsive, adult and entirely serious—even if when they, you know, aren’t on the deeper textual level of a moment. But that’s all part of the emotional coding for the audience and in service of the end goal: it makes them feel serious, too. All because it validates their interests as being equally serious.

This is why so many of those inclined to like singular tones have trouble with the work of someone like Sam Raimi. I hear people commenting that his films are “too corny” all the time; that word choice is both telling and bizarre. Because, while Raimi’s movies can be goofy and over the top, they are also achingly dark, sincere, and full of emotion. So really “too corny” is just code for: “this was often goofy and I don’t like movies that make me feel like my interests are goofy.” Which, ironically, I find to be an incredibly juvenile attitude—one that is not trying to be an adult. It’s trying to dress up kid-interests to seem adult, when really adulthood is just rolling with the punches and embracing things for whatever they really are.

The film is always itself. Especially as it slides back and forth between dramatic and comic emphasis with the blistering assuredness of pure operatic glee, all while living and breathing every moment sincerely. And what else would an 11-year-old’s fever dream about weaponized race cars, ninja fights and family togetherness be but achingly sincere?

Even the much ballyhooed stock price rant is inspired: that’s the point of the film’s laser targeted messaging. While so many kids’ films depict the ethics of villainy as some mustache twirling vehicle for evil and evil alone, Speed Racer has the guts to tell you that evils of the world are far more mundane (and lucrative). But as one-note as the stock market speech feels (as Roger Allam gives a deliciously unhinged performance), the message itself is not some reductive estimation of art and commercialism. Given literally everything else about Speed and his family’s business, Speed Racer is arguing there is nothing wrong with success, fandom, and connection between the two. It is simply pointing out that any system that puts the tiniest bit of money and “the perpetual machine of capitalism” over the sanctity of that connection, will only ever manage to sever that same connection.

That may seem “too adult” for a kids film, but I think it’s inspired, especially as kids are a lot smarter than you think (especially when you don’t talk down to them and trust them to handle things). So, if you buy this notion, and if you buy the family drama that has brought Speed to the final race, then it all comes together thematically into one of the most electric, abstract and emotional endings I can think of—one that wholly reaffirms that we are so much more than any single moment, but the product of everyone who helped get us there along the way. I cry every damn time I watch it.

And nestled within that ending is the larger meta-narrative of the Wachowskis’ entire career, their core theme if you will: the notion of intrinsic identity and becoming your best self. I’ll admit, I often have a lot of trouble with the idea of “destiny” in modern storytelling, precisely because I see a lot of irresponsibility associated with it. What used to be a giant metaphor for hubris has sadly become short-hand wish-fulfillment to believing you are the specialist hero in the universe, an attitude that often reeks of a lot of unintentional uber-mensch vibes.

But within Speed Racer, the metaphor of “race car driver” doubles with artist, or any other childhood dream—the kinds of dreams that must be stuck to, and chased after, with gleeful joy in order to bring said dreams to life. More than that, the metaphor gains so much within the context of the Wachowskis’ personal lives, as we now can look at so much of their work within the landscape of trans messaging—to the point that a lot of their work now has slid into “full text” metaphors of trans identity shifting, such as with Cloud Atlas and Sense 8. In that, I find their work to be the most powerful. By reclaiming destiny and the hero’s journey, they take it all away from “you are destined to be better than everyone else” and make it instead “you are becoming who you always really were, while discovering empathy in all those around you.” This is precisely the sort of loving, hallmark messaging that many too-cool-for-school folks would eye-roll at, but there is no doubting that the Wachowskis’ arrival at this earnestness is both hard-fought and hard-won.

This is all not to say that I’m unaware of the contradictions within their work, most specifically within the catch 22 of violent glorification against anti-violence. But within the “hyper language” of cinema, their violence just becomes part of the operatic aching sincerity.

But I understand that a lot of people aren’t sure what to do with the aching sincerity of it all. I remember how many people saw Jupiter Ascending and made fun of Eddie Radmayne’s truly gonzo performance, but I feel like he was the only one who really knew what movie he was in. He wasn’t pushing it too far; everyone else’s plasticity was weirdly holding it back. I genuinely love him in that film. Sure, the performance might be “too corny” and make you feel “weird,” but it’s precisely the kind of weird that opens the world up and imbues it with life and verve.

Maybe weird and jarring is exactly what we need. For, in a cinematic world full of carefully structured disaffection, the Wachowskis are still the most passionate, jarring and unworried filmmakers we have. And in that journey of self-discovery, it’s the odd mix of gee-golly sincerity of Speed Racer that is both exemplary of (and marks the transitional point of) their entire career.

Which only leaves me with one question: why, in a career full of identity questions, systematic oppression and selfhood, is their most exemplary film about the message of family perseverance and togetherness? In truth, I don’t know what their relationship is like with their larger nuclear family, nor does it matter. What we do know, and have always known, is who Lana and Lilly Wachowski are to each other: friends, collaborators, sisters. They are as loving a literal family as we have ever seen in cinema. And within their art, they’ve been telling us of their specific, powerful experience in the most universal and commercial of cinematic ways.

For well past 10 years now, they’ve telling us by shooting, chopping, rocking out, screaming, singing, dressing up, joking, lecturing, goofing, laughing and anything and everything in between. Many often roll their eyes at such naked, heartfelt audacity. “Too corny,” they say out of the side of their mouths. But such disdain is all part of the pains of being pure at heart.

And really, they are the joys.

< 3 HULK

#Film #Favorites #Speed Racer #The Wachowkis #Essential Truths

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wildstormoralhistory · 7 years

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Director’s Cut Material #10- Ryan Odagawa

One of the young interns that Jim Lee brought in to hone his craft was artist, Ryan Odagawa. While in the Consumer Products division under Ted Adams, Ryan ended up working on countless trading cards and the Resident Evil comic magazine before launching the brand new series, Savant Garde which followed Zealot's sister, Savant and Mr. Majestic as they lead a team against the WIldC.A.T.S. villain, Tapestry. Although the series was short lived, Ryan was able to realize his dream and work alongside his idols at WildStorm. And he's still doing awesome work today! Some really fun pieces from more recent years are also included.

Ryan Odagawa (Artist): They had their first talent search around 1992. It was WildC.A.T.S. #2 and I was still in high school. I remember seeing the ad and I was heavily studying to draw since I was 13. That was like 1988. I was big into Jim Lee and all those guys, and X-Men. Once I saw that ad, I told my mom that I want to move down to San Diego. She was like; “You're still in high school. You've got to finish high school first.” [laughs] So, I was like alright. I graduated high school and then went to some community college and took some art classes. I was just totally focused on art and wanting to work for WildStorm. I just totally knew that I wanted to. I had shown some of my work a little bit, but then there was an ImageCon. I think it was the first time, and then after that, I don't think they had it. It was around when they had ComiCon. I just had some samples and I met Sarah Becker, who was the editor on Gen 13. I knew who everyone was, because I collected everything and was into the artists and everything. I talked to her and sort of showed her my stuff. A lot of the influences of J. Scott Campbell were kind of similar [to mine] so my style kind of leans towards him. I was into Art Adams also, and Jim Lee. So, my stuff would look just like his stuff and I think Sarah saw that. It's like, okay, here. So, I took a test and then that was the end of '94. The following year I got a letter from her and she’s like, you want to come in as an intern? "Sure, of course!" It all came together and then I moved down there when I was about 19. Yeah, I mean, I guess it was a dream come true. It all just kind of came together. It was almost surreal, but it's kind of like -- I've been thinking about it all through high school. Then all of a sudden, it's there. All of these artists are right there, and you're working side-by-side with them. It was pretty interesting I guess you could say. I came along with Richard Friend, J.J. Kirby, Jason Johnson and Mark Irwin. Suddenly being around different artists, there’s an energy around it. I don't know. It's weird because I had to turn down an office job beforehand. I literally never worked anywhere else, and I was only 19. Now you're around all of these people that are doing what you love to do also. I was just -- It was almost surreal. And it was fun, so you'd hang out late nights and play video games or something, and talk about the computer programs. Actually, that was kind of when Photoshop was starting to get going. I would pick the brains of all of the colorists and learn Photoshop here and there. I was really interested in learning all the aspects. I learned all of the aspects of comic book creation like inking, a little bit of lettering, or coloring. I wanted to figure out out how to do all of this because typically when I was younger, I wanted to make my own comic book. My dad was actually a graphic artist so he had a lot of some of the older, pre-computer-type of art tools. So, I learned all of that stuff. I just wanted to observe everything and learn how to do everything. Create the final product. I started the internship and started it on cards. I hadn't really done a lot of sequential artwork. A little bit here and there. I just kind of started doing cards, then slowly different pages for short stories here and there. So I did the internship for maybe I think a year or so. After that, I came on staff. Then I – I was big into Gen 13, but then I was kind of interested in Savant – the character Savant. I'd talk to the different people there about doing a Savant book. Nothing kind of came of it real fast, but then they'd ask me if I wanted to work on one of their books of a different title. I think they were coming out with a, I think, a dollar seventy-five line or something like that. One of them was a book that I couldn't really connect to. I asked what else do you have? The other one, they said, was a Savant book. I'm like, well, yeah. I've been saying that I want to do a Savant book so I end up doing the Savant book called Savant Guard. I was learning on the job, I guess you could say. Jim kind of helped me with layout on the first issue. After that, I was on my own, so I was trying to figure everything out. It was a learning experience. After that, I eventually learned how to be a little bit faster, do layouts myself and everything. Obviously [it was] a kid’s dream come true, but this is a once in a lifetime chance that there's something that actually kind of came in and isn't here anymore. That's even bigger, but you know, I'm still friends with a lot of them. It's lifetime friendships. I didn't really finish college, so it definitely was my college. It's kind of funny, because one of my good friends was going to college at UC San Diego at the time, so I got to hang out with his friends and live the dorm life of college while doing comics, and not having to take any classes [laughs]. Not having to pay for school. Basically it is just a once in a lifetime thing. I'm proud to have made it there.

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iheartmoosiq · 7 years

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I HEART MOOSIQ interview : GRYFFIN

ID10T Music Festival + Comic Conival 06.24.17

-interviewed by Nick

We'd like to thank Los Angeles based multi-instrumentalist and producer Gryffin for taking the time to speak with us after his killer ID10T Festival set and after coming off a tiring weekend of closing out stages at Fire Fly Music Festival and EDC Las Vegas.

GRYFFIN: My (EDC) set was at 4:30am. I had the sunrise set and I had just come from Firefly Music Festival the night before.

IHM: So you flew across the country.

GRYFFIN: Yeah, it was really intense. It was fun though. It was so late though. I got into Vegas, soundchecked in the afternoon, and we didn't sleep from the night before from closing the dance tent there, and I had to sleep or else I'm not going to be energetic at all for this 4:30 set. So I didn't get to see anyone. I bailed the next day. Well, I saw a little bit of Slushii, but that's because he was on right before me. Man, it was so hot.

IHM: When I came back from EDC to the Bay Area, I was thinking it's going to be cooler weather. But it was still like 100 degrees over here.

GRYFFIN: Oh yeah, wasn't there recently a pretty extreme heat wave.

IHM: Today's basically the first day that's cooled down. We're thankful it's only low 80s finally.

GRYFFIN: My parents were talking about that too. They were saying it was like 95 degrees here.

IHM: Like I said, not much of a change from Vegas. Was that your first EDC experience?

GRYFFIN: It was my first one. Well, I guess I've done the other. I did EDC Japan, so I guess the big one really is the Vegas one so I'd consider it my first one. It was freakin' awesome. I always heard that you know EDC is going to be crazy but I didn't really understand it from a production stand point. How many people actually show up and go to it. I don't know. You kind of have to go and experience it to understand how big it is.

IHM: I remember our first time seeing you was at SnowGlobe.

GRYFFIN: That was actually my first live show that I had ever done and it was literally like minus 5 degrees outside. And I'm like trying to play the guitar and I can't even feel my fingers on the fret board. And this is ... if I can make it through this then I can make it through the live shows any where else. Man, it feels like such a long time ago, but I love that festival and I love Tahoe.

IHM: So you play a bunch of instruments. Were you self-taught or how did you learn?

GRYFFIN: Em, well, kind of. I started taking classical piano lessons when I was seven. I played all the way through high school. In that sense, I wasn't self taught. I learned classical music playing Mozart and all that kind of stuff. Maybe when I was 11 or 12 I was getting really into rock music. Ironically Weezer, maybe we'll see them here tonight (at ID10T Music Festival), and that kind of music. I decided I wanted to start jamming, playing guitar and with friends, and that was self taught by just looking online for tabs and videos on how to play guitar and stuff. Then in high school I'd jam around with friends. So that's really where all the music kind of came from.

Then as I got to college that's when I really started to get into dance music. I remember listening to Daft Punk and Chemical Brothers and that kind of stuff, and I was into it, but it wasn't until I got to school that I got into the big players like Swedish House Mafia, Avicii, when he was coming up. And I remember the first time hearing Skrillex, it was like, “oh my gosh, what is this music?” It's so insane, it's so futuristic sounding, and that's when I decided I should try to make it just for fun.

IHM: Would you go to a bunch of shows?

GRYFFIN: Yeah I did. I would go to the shows at The Shrine, HARD Day of the Dead...

IHM: So basically all these SoCal shows?

GRYFFIN: Yeah.

IHM: And it's pretty awesome, for music, in LA.

GRYFFIN: Yeah it is. For that scene it was bubbling at that time, I mean it still is, but it was cool going to Together As One. I went to Coachella. I remember being at Coachella when DeadMau5 revealed his mask that lit up for the first time. I was in the crowd thinking, "Oh my God, this is insane." That was when I was like, "I want to try and do this." Not as a career necessarily, it was that same mentality as in high school where I just wanted to make music.

IHM: Well you still have White Panda don't you?

GRYFFIN: I'm not part of it anymore. I don't talk about that too much. That was really where everything started, making mash-ups in college. Then I realized I wanted to do more than make sample based music, because, I know how to play instruments. I want to make music and I don't want to just sample stuff. That was how the Gryffin project spawned.

IHM: Gryffin is obviously a play on your name, but does it symbolize anything to you. Are you a big Harry Potter fan?

GRYFFIN: Hahaha, I wasn't at the time but I am now. My girlfriend is a huge Harry Potter fan. And I'm glad I picked the good one, GRYFFINDOR right? It's not like I was Slytherin or anything. But yeah, I based the name off... well it is my last name, but a griffin is a mythical creature. It's majestic, and since it's a half eagle it conveys a lot of flight, uplifting, soaring type of energy themes. That's what I try to do with my music is make it uplifting and beautiful, kind of a sort of floating feeling. That's why I went with this creature, because I love everything that it represents and the mythology behind it. It just felt like a good fit.

IHM: And with your Flight Log mixes, that's perfect.

GRYFFIN: EXACTLY. I'm still trying to figure out the debut name of my EP. I still want to keep the aviation flight theme going so if you guys have any ideas, let me know. I'm going to bring back the Flight Logs this summer actually. I've been getting a lot of flack from fans about it, "it's been a year dude, like come on."

IHM: I've been telling my friends too, "At least he did a Night Owl Radio mix".

GRYFFIN: I did do that! But I want to do another Flight Log because I have a lot of new music I want to put on there. A lot of remixes of the singles and stuff. And that's definitely going to come this summer.

IHM: How far along are you with that EP?

GRYFFIN: It's almost done. So it's three of the singles that have already come out and three brand new singles. I actually played one of them tonight, or a snippet of it. But they're basically done from the production stand point. I got to find a vocalist for one of them.

IHM: How do you go about that? Do you hear a voice and you're like, "I got to have that"?

GRYFFIN: Yeah, at this point in the record, the production and the songwriting is finished. It's just the singer, she's a songwriter and she has no aspirations to be an artist. She just wants to be behind the scenes, which I totally respect, but she's got an amazing voice. It sucks because she sounds amazing on the record. Now I'm trying to reach out and talk with other artists and getting them to take their impression of the song and put their own flavor to it and see if it's the right vibe. So I've been doing a lot of sessions in LA when I'm not on tour. But it's basically done and I'm hoping to put everything out in August.

IHM: So have you started reaching out to people asking them to remix certain songs?

GRYFFIN: Actually, no. Not for the new records. But the 'Feel Good' remix package is coming out next week, which there are some really good remixes out there.

IHM: Do you get in contact with artists or they reach out to you to do a remix?

GRYFFIN: It kind of goes both ways. So half the remix EP was people that reached out to me or cold submitted it and I just loved them. And the other half, I personally asked Crankdat, I personally asked Brooks, and they have really sick remixes.

IHM: Great! So we're here at ID10T fest, and it kind of feels weird that it's comics and music put together. It kind of feels like a segregated crowd.

GRYFFIN: Yeah, it was definitely a bit eclectic. I was talking with Hugo earlier and they were asking me right as I got off if it was alright. And, you guys are right. It is segregated where some people came here for the comedy but others came here for the music. But the fans that came here for the music are fans of all three of us (Gryffin, Jai Wolf, Madeon). 15 minutes into the set I look back to David who's doing video and I'm like, "Yo, this is pretty lit. People are really into this right now." It ended up being... and I didn't want to downplay the festival, but the crowd was awesome and Jai Wolf and I were saying the hospitality's been really good by the festival.

IHM: Jai Wolf is playing right after you. At Lollapalooza you guys are doing an after party together.

GRYFFIN: Hell yeah!

IHM: How does that come about?

GRYFFIN: We’ve been homies for awhile. We have the same agent, and when I was living in New York he was living in Long Island, and I went over to his house several times. We kind of just became friends. That whole crew of Manila Killa, Louis The Child, Jai ... I'm like super tight with all them now. I love seeing them and doing stuff with them.

IHM: You're friends with Brett [Blackman] right? (URL2IRL CEO/founder, mgmt Moving Castle for AOBeats, Manila Killa, SAKIMA, Hotel Garuda)

GRYFFIN: Yes! I love Brett!

IHM: Brett is awesome!

GRYFFIN: He is the man. I'm going to see him in LA. Manila has a show at El Rey Theatre in like a week. I haven't seen Brett in months.

IHM: I'm going to see Manila Killa at The Regency Ballroom on July 8th.

GRYFFIN: Yeah! It's going to be amazing. I love Chris (Manila Killa), dude. I would honestly say he's one of my closest friends out of producers. He's a really good person.

IHM: I love watching him on stage, even when he's not performing. He's a really good hype man.

GRYFFIN: But yeah, Jai [Wolf] and I were briefly talking about what kind of production we wanted for that. It should be a really fun show.

IHM: Can we expect any b2b?

GRYFFIN: I'm going to start off the night, then he'll come on. Depending on how the vibe is we may come on together. We just want to make it a fun vibe because we're homies outside of music.

Gryffin is looking forward to time off next month. He’ll be spending it in the studio working on new music and preparing for his tour this fall. He’s also released an official remix today for Kygo & Ellie Goulding’s First Time, which can be streamed via Spotify, here. Watch the video for his latest original with Illenium, Feel Good, featuring Daya, below.

youtube

We had a great time chatting with one of our favorite artists, a versatile songwriter, dexterous musician, and captivating performer. His scintillating live performance in the Mad Decent dance tent at Chris Hardwick’s ID10T Music Festival + Comic Conival was colossal. Thank you, Gryffin!

You can catch Gryffin’s live set at Lollapalooza in August. We’ll be on the look out for further details regarding his tour later this year!

Gryffin: Website / Facebook / Soundcloud / YouTube / Twitter

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turnsoutnoonewasexaggerating · 7 years

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Part 3 of The Sam Diaries

Read on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10507836/chapters/23186556

Sam’s girlfriend had hung every newspaper clipping she could find that discussed Neil Josten’s recent stabbing (Sam was horrified to find out there had been more than one. His girlfriend had merely gestured to her face, indicating Neil’s scars, and Sam had realised he was just as much of an idiot as she always claimed) around their bedroom walls.

Every night when he’d come home from his new job that week she’d made a big deal of giving him a fanfare through the door, and when he’d complained had written ‘Mine and Neil Josten’s hero’ on his forehead in sharpie. He’d had to restyle his hair for the next four days to hide it, for which he got more odd looks than he thought the words would have.

Today when he comes home, it turns out his girlfriend has something even more brilliant planned.

“No way! But you just released a new flavour two weeks ago!” He crows as he steps out of his shoes and wraps his arms round her. She leans into him with a contented hum before pushing him away again, getting back to scooping out ice cream in their only-for-ice-cream-testing bowls. Hers was a swirly blue and green bowl he’d picked out for her on their second date from a stall on the beach they’d walked down, and his was obnoxiously orange with ‘MINYARD 03’ written across in white.

As ever, the tub she was scooping ice-cream out of was unlabelled, so he’d have to guess the flavour. It was her fairly fool-proof system; if he didn’t recognise the flavour, no-one would. Regardless of whether Sam liked the ice-cream she’d come up with or not, he treasures these evenings above all others, because they were entirely theirs. “I love you so much.” He proclaims loudly as he moves to the other side of the table and into his seat at their tiny kitchen table.

“Because I’m enabling your ‘all eat no exercise’ lifestyle?” She teases, looking at his much squishier stomach. Ironic really, that it was his girlfriend that owned the ice-cream parlour but he was chubbier.

“Hey you say you like me being comfy!” He grins back, and finds his breath catching slightly when she smiles, because holy hell he didn’t understand it until he loved her but now it makes sense when people talk about living off their partner’s smile. He doesn’t need it like he needs air to breathe or food to eat, water to drink, he just loves it, just wants to cause it, interaction and reaction for as long as she’ll have him.

“Eh it’s just cheaper than getting working central heating and a new pillow.” She shoves his bowl over to him as he snorts. “Eat your ice cream then, you banana.” He narrows his eyes in mock-anger at the nickname, though he’s still legitimately annoyed at his mom for sharing that story. To cut it short; when he was sick with fever age five, he’d had a delirious breakdown about turning into a banana if he touched one. He still didn’t like them, but he saw the funny side.

He takes a spoonful, resisting his usual urge to just scoop as much of it into his mouth in one go as he could, and tries to hide his grimace at how cold it is on his teeth. He squints as he tries to work out the flavour, while his girlfriend looks at him expectantly.

“I want to say orange marshmallows? It’s weird but I kind of like it.”

“It’s you.” His girlfriend says, with uncharacteristic seriousness, and Sam almost drops his spoon. It was on their first date that he’d learned she owned the ice cream place he frequented, not just worked there, and she’d jokingly told him she could never leave a guy she made an ice cream flavour of, because hearts were fickle but ice cream was forever.

“Why orange marshmallows?” The size of their table makes it easy for her to reach over and poke him in the stomach with her spoon.

“Marshmallows.” Then she taps her spoon against his bowl. “Orange.”

“What’s it called?”

“Well I was going to go for something cheesy like ‘hero’ and then I thought ‘nah, I’ll just call it Sam’. Now if it sells I’ll have the pleasure of hearing people ask ‘can I have one scoop of Sam?’”

“A scoop of Sam. I like it.”

We fast forward through the night and the majority of the next morning which Sam spends figuratively shitting himself and literally smiling and going about his normal day.

Here’s some things you should know about Sam’s girlfriend, other than she was into Exy and owned an ice cream parlour. Her parents drove backwards off a cliff the day after her 18th birthday leaving her with the ice cream parlour and a million questions she’d never get answered. She had a whole life outside of Sam, but Sam was a very big part of her life. She was once offered to be recommended for the Foxes, but she turned it down to keep running the ice cream parlour which she doesn’t regret.

Today, she was at work, introducing her new flavour of ice cream, Sam, and reviewing over the list of candidates for the newly vacated part-time position. When she’d first introduced Sam to Exy, she’d started with the Foxes. She’d finished explaining their entry requirements and was about to launch into the rules of the game when Sam had interrupted.

“What about the kids who don’t play Exy?” He’d blushed and stuttered something awful after that, apologising about thirteen times for interrupting before she could get him back to the point. “I just mean that it’s brilliant what that coach is doing… But not every kid is athletic, you know?”

It was like he’d thrown a wrench into the way she viewed things. She was so incredibly lucky to actually own an establishment and be able to make a change. Sure, it wasn't going to rocket launch you to fame and glory like the Foxes, but she could offer kids with nothing else a chance to make some money and fund the life fate was determined not to grant them.

From then she’d only hired staff who needed a second chance. It didn’t always work, the kids had stolen the till more than once but the risk was worth being proud of herself every time she looked in the mirror.

Sam walks into his girlfriend’s store almost glad, for the first time since it had happened, that he’d almost been stabbed to death in an alleyway by Andrew Minyard, because it makes this seem slightly less daunting.

Slightly.

“Sam? What are you doing here?” His girlfriend asks, confused, but with that smile already curling her lips. She takes her time walking out from behind the desk, a little furrow forming between her brows as she comes closer. “Is everything alright?”

He breathes in, breathes out, and concentrates on that smile. He manages to get on one knee without falling over, which had been a legitimate concern. Her eyes widen comically as a gasp silences all the customers in the store and several of the employees slap excited hands over their mouths.

“I looked up what Eunoia means the other day. It’s a pretty name, if awfully difficult to guess how to pronounce on first glance, and I was hoping it would mean something better than ‘God had heard’ like mine.” Sam looks at her, and the world drops away around them. “It means beautiful thinking. I can’t begin to tell you how apt that is. Your mannerisms, your optimism, that goddamn smile, this place and everything about it. Your thoughts are beautiful and you are a beautiful thought, a dream that I have had the honour of being with. You make feel so happy, and safe and cherished and I want to do the same for you, for the rest of my life if you’ll have me. I love you.” There are tears welling up in Eunoia’s eyes now, and Sam still can’t take his eyes off her. “Eunoia, will you-”

“For fuck’s sake I just wanted an ice cream.” Andrew Minyard’s flat voice and Neil Josten’s loud ‘shhhhh’ cuts through his speech like a knife into butter (or flesh; honestly it’s probably more likely to go through the flesh; butter is hard). Eunoia looks from Sam to Andrew and Neil and back again, blinking rapidly.

“You couldn’t have waited until I’d finished the question?” Sam says, not even annoyed because really, what had he expected? Andrew shrugs.

“You’re lucky he didn’t make retching noises.” Neil comments, and although he is serious it sounds like an insult.

“Excuse me?” Eunoia snaps back. “Sam straight up saves you from bleeding to death on a bench and you couldn’t do the common courtesy of not being assholes for two minutes?”

“I want Sam.” Andrew says, before Neil can apologise, or whatever it was that he was actually going to say but Sam’s hoping it was an apology for his own sanity. Sam realises Andrew’s pointing at the ice cream counter. Neil continues to stare at Andrew’s face.

“Oh you want it, huh? Thought you wanted nothing.” Andrew uses his outstretched arm to push Neil’s face away from his and towards the counter. “Wait, you can read those labels from over here?” The store isn’t that big, more cosy, and the labels are printed fairly largely. Andrew glares at Neil.

“You need glasses.”

“Um, Eunoia?” She spins back to look at Sam.

“Oh my god Sam I am so sorry-” He grins, rolling his eyes because, hell, at least this proposal will be original.

“Will you marry me, yes or no?” There’s a slightly sharper intake of breath from both Andrew and Neil, but Eunoia’s the only one Sam currently cares about.

“Yes! Of course oh my god Sam I love you so much.” He stands, and she kisses him, and the shop bursts into applause, and Sam feels like he’s flying (but not in a plane because they terrify him, and also in some parallel world where birds don’t exist because he dislikes them too). They’re both smiling too much to kiss properly but no-one cares.

No-one except Andrew Minyard apparently.

“You forgot the ring idiot.” Sam pulls back from Eunoia reluctantly, keeping both arms wrapped around her.

“Not all weddings use rings you uncultured asshole.” There are a few shocked titters and mutters of ‘do you think he knows that’s Andrew Minyard’ but louder than all of them is Neil’s stuttering laugh.

“He’s right you know.” Neil manages, after he’s calmed down enough to speak. Andrew tips his head in acknowledgement, and then swings his head over to the ice cream counter. Eunoia narrows her eyes at him.

“First you almost stab my boy- fiancé, then you interrupt his proposal and criticise it and now you’re expecting me to sell you ice cream?” Andrew sighs but then Eunoia’s off, flitting away back behind the counter and into the storage room, returning with a whole tub of Sam, another of her bestseller; Easy Win (chocolate upon chocolate upon chocolate basically) and another of When Life Gives You Lemons (a lemon sorbet). “That’ll be $66 please.” She says in her typical customer service voice, and Sam snorts.

Andrew, for some reason, flinches slightly, but he reaches into his pocket without another word. Strangely, what he gets out is not a wallet of any description, but an envelope. He passes it to her.

“Congratulations on your engagement.” He says, with his customary dead-eyed stare as Neil grabs a few notes from his wallet and tells her to put the change in the tip jar. Andrew lifts the three ice cream tubs with ease, though Sam’s fairly certain it’s only him that catches Neil staring at the way the muscles in his biceps bunch up, and that’s only because he’s looking too. Eunoia holds up the envelope with a question in her gaze.

“Plane tickets and passes to our next Exy game.” Neil explains. Sam doesn’t understand why Eunoia looks so stunned.

“But your next game is in Greece!” Ah, that’s why.

“Oh what a shame, must have forgotten.” Andrew says, dully. Neil grins.

“Sorry for interrupting the proposal Sam. Your chance to sit through a full Exy game.”

“Or to jib off at half time.” Andrew offers.

“Thank you.” Sam responds, and Andrew scoffs.

“Come on, Neil. Places to be, ice cream to eat.” With that Andrew and Neil head out of the store, and Sam turns back to Eunoia only to get tackled from the side as she pulls him into jumping up and down in excitement with her.

“Oh my god oh my god this is the best day of my life!”

“That had better half be because of the fact we’re engaged.” He returns and she nods enthusiastically, apparently too overcome to speak. She settles for kissing him again instead and, well, Sam’s not going to complain.

#my fic #my OC Sam #andreil #andrew minyard #Neil josten #tfc #aftg

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hermanwatts · 5 years

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Sensor Sweep: D&D Cartoon, Tim Kirk, Lin Carter, Literary Swordsmen and Sorcerers

Animated Cartoons (CBR.com): When CBS ordered a series based on the latest trend, fantasy role-playing games, perhaps they didn’t know what awaited them. Debuting on Sept 17, 1983, Dungeons & Dragons (inspired by the game created by

Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson, and published by TSR) came to air already surrounded by controversy. The game’s use of occult imagery wasn’t the only factor disturbing parents groups. Some even declared it a literal danger to young people.

Art (Black Gate): Tim Kirk, another artist who has had a major professional career, was nominated for Best Fan Writer 8 times in the between 1969 and 1977, winning the Hugo in 1970, 1972, 1973, 1974, and 1976. It would be fair to say that for me, coming into contact with fandom in this period, my image of “fan art” was formed by Tim Kirk’s work, along with two more artists who won for their 1970s work, William Rotsler and Alexis A. Gilliland. (Not to slight the excellent Phil Foglio, but for whatever reason his art didn’t enter my consciousness until later. And Alicia Austin, four-time nominee and 1971 winner, was and is a favorite artist of mine, but for her professional work.)

Fiction Release (DMR Books): DMR Books is proud to present our next release: the picaresque fantasy novel The Road to Infinity by Gael DeRoane. It will be available in digital and trade paperback editions very soon (within the next few days), and the classic size edition (6.5” x 4.25”) should be released before the end of June. Read on for more:

Poised on the brink of manhood, young Aran Dyfar makes a rash and momentous decision that will either elevate him to glory or seal his doom.

History (Barbarian Book Club): “No silver, no Swiss,” commented Gian Trivulzio, a Milanese Condottiero during the Italian Wars. He was talking about the Swiss Mercenaries that served in the armies of the Italian City States. They were expensive and often sieges and sacks depended on the city’s ability to pay foreign soldiers.

A more recent quote “Amateurs talk about tactics, but professionals study logistics,” quoted to Gen. Robert H. Barrow, Commandant of the USMC.

Fiction (Uproxx.com): Martin is no casual fan of Lovecraft. He regularly cites the writer as one of his earliest reading obsessions. He’s visited

Lovecraft’s grave in Rhode Island, and even wrote some elaborate fan fiction back in 2011 pitting Jaime Lannister against Cthulu in a deathmatch. When George sat down to speak with Stephen King, their conversation kept leading back to Lovecraft’s influence on both of their writing.

Fiction (DMR Books): When I was eleven years old, I preferred Lin Carter’s Jandar of Callisto series to Edgar Rice Burroughs’ books about Mars. Sacrilege I know, and that’s not the case today, but as a kid, I liked that the Callisto books were written in modern language, and the events described not only took place within my lifetime, they were still occurring now, in the 1970s when I was reading them. I could almost believe they were true.

Gaming (Player One): What happens when you have a cyberpunk futuristic world and put in the themes of H.P. Lovecraft? You get the latest offering from Stormling Studios, Transient. Aside from this announcement, Stormling Studios also released a reveal trailer. So what is the game all about? It begins in a distant and post-apocalyptic future. Whatever remains of mankind are now living in the Domed City Providence, an enclosed citadel that was created in order for humans to survive the harsh environment. Amidst all of this, the story focuses on Randolph Carter, a member of ODIN, a hacker-for-hire group.

Robert E. Howard (John C. Wright): The Devil in Iron was published in the August 1934 issue of Weird Tales, several months after the previous story, Queen of the Black Coast. It is the eleventh published story in the Conan canon. We have reached the halfway mark of the published Conan stories completed by Robert E. Howard.

Howard here recycles elements of his own previous stories – there is a magic blade as in Phoenix on the Sword, the sole bane of an otherwise invulnerable eldritch monster, who is a resurrected necromancer as in The Black Colossus.

Comic Books (Paint Monk): Our tale begins as Conan, Bêlit, and Zula battle Stygian warriors in the catacombs of Luxor. As the fight progresses, the trio finds a secret passage that allows them to descend further into the depths beneath the city.

Zula shows some empathy toward the Stygian soldier’s fate – Conan and company are killing them simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bêlit declares she will kill any Stygian, because they were the people who helped her Uncle overthrow and kill her Father.

History (Real Crusade History): Henry was born May 3, 1217, the third child but the first son of King Hugh I of Cyprus and his queen Alice de Champagne. (Alice was the daughter of Isabella I of Jerusalem and her third husband Henri de Champagne.) When Henry was just eight months old, his father died suddenly, while absent from the kingdom on the Fifth Crusade. According to the constitution of the kingdom, a minor king’s regent was his nearest relative resident in the Latin East, in this case, Henry’s mother Alice de Champagne. However, Alice showed remarkably little interest in wielding political power.

Fiction (Eldritch Paths): I was reading The King Beyond the Gate, the second book in David Gemmell’s Drenai Saga. I really enjoyed the larger-than-life heroes in Gemmell’s first book, Legend. Druss the Legend was an awesome character, taking on scores of baddies and coming up on top. Even the leader of the enemy invasion force respected the strength and sheer force of will that was Druss. I was expecting, no, wanting more of the same from the second book. Most of this second book seemed to deliver.

RPG (Pulp Rev): Designing for games is vastly different from designing for stories.

Readers engage a prose story through the plot, characters, and prose. The writer guides them on a journey in the mind, directing the story from start to finish.

Gamers engage a game through its mechanics. By playing as their avatar, they create their own experience.

Readers and gamers have different ways of approaching their chosen media. The requirements of these media lead to different design choices.

Writing (Mad Genius Club): Write the soldier as he (or she) is, not as you wish to caricature them, not as your narrative demands. Haven’t served in the military? Start looking through your list of friends for somebody who has. Sit down and ask them questions (bring drinks), listen and be respectful. See, contrary to popular belief, we will talk. If you show yourself to be trustworthy, we’ll tell you the unvarnished truth about life in the service. What hurt, what sucked, what made us laugh, made us cry, made us mad, made us happy, what made it home for us.

RPG (Brain Leakage): About three or four sessions into my current campaign, I noticed that my players didn’t really like the abstract nature of D&D combat. No matter how much narration and dramatizing I did, combat just felt too passive to them. Specifically, they wanted to do something besides stand there and take it while the enemy rolled against their AC. Now, one thing I’ll say in favor of D&D combat RAW. It’s streamlined. And if the players are happy enough to fill in the blanks by imagining feints, dodges, and other maneuvers happening in between declared actions and combat rolls, then it’s fine.

T.V. (Pulpfest): Rod Serling’s THE TWILIGHT ZONE ran on CBS from 1959 to 1964. It remains in syndication to this very day. A new version of the series — narrated by filmmaker Jordan Peele — premiered on CBS All Access on April 1, 2019. Sixty years after its original debut, Rod Serling’s remarkable creation is still very much embedded in the public consciousness.

The creator of THE TWILIGHT ZONE was born on December 25, 1924 in Syracuse, New York. His brother, the late novelist and aviation writer Robert Serling, said: “We were fairly close as kids and we played together a hell of a lot, despite the seven-year difference. The two of us used to read AMAZING STORIES, ASTOUNDING STORIES, WEIRD TALES — all of the pulps. If we saw a movie together, we’d come home and act it out, just for the two of us.”

Lit Crit (George Kelley): Just by chance, I stumbled across this 1976 Arkham House edition of L. Sprague de Camp’s wonderful Literary Swordsman and Socerers at my local public library. I immediately took it out and read it. De Camp’s informational essays on these fantasy writers made me want to drop everything and reread some of the great books by these authors. I’m a big fan of Lord Dunsany, but I haven’t read more than a fraction of his oeuvre. I’ve read most of Lovecraft, but I can always pick up one of his collections and find delight in its pages.

Sensor Sweep: D&D Cartoon, Tim Kirk, Lin Carter, Literary Swordsmen and Sorcerers published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

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totesmccoats · 6 years

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Doomsday Clock #1

We open in Watchmen’s New York, on November 22nd, 1992; which is 25 years to the day before this comic’s release, and also the week that Superman #75 – the Death of Superman – was released. A mob gathers outside the business headquarters of Adrian Veidt, the world’s smartest, and now most wanted man, for his orchestration of the “alien” attack on New York City that resulted in over three million dead and thousands more physically injured.

The hoax revealed, the fragile peace it ushered in rapidly collapses as Russia begins an invasion of an ununited Europe; North Korea expands their nuclear capabilities to match the rearmament of other nuclear states; and the President of the United States, Robert Redford, is too busy golfing to properly respond. Dozens of media voices in the US are replaced by one Schutzstaffel logoed National News Network that prepares people for a righteous nuclear war.

Amid this chaos, Rorschach breaks out two criminals, Marionette and her partner, Mime, from prison to bring them to his new partner – Ozymandias, who again tries to cure the world, this time by bringing back its Superman.

And, in a distant land, a Superman wakes up from a nightmare.

Whether or not you think this story is a good idea, you have to admit that this issue makes a strong argument for itself. The issue echos Watchmen in the same ways Watchmen echos, well, itself; presented it’s separate threads as thematic and visual reflections of each-other. Rorschach unlocks a prisoner’s cage, releasing them; just as soldiers key into a nuclear console, unleashing armageddon.

Geoff Johns may be the only person capable of picking up Watchmen, given that his personal superpower as a writer has been his reverence of old comic stories, and ability to weave their threads into new patterns and expand them into larger universes. He’s basically doing to Watchmen’s character what he’d previously done with Barry Allen and Hal Jordan. And while Johns is an incredible talent in his own right, he’s aided by his ability to match Alan Moore’s style of dialogue; particularly in his writing of Rorschach, who switches between gorey purple-prose in his narration, and article-less laconism in his speech.

Gary Frank is a perfect artist for matching Dave Gibbons’ detail heavy illustrations, giving the book a texture and shadow-heavy tone that conveys the anxiety and dread of its world. Where the resemblance breaks is with Brad Anderson’s colors, which are more realistic and understated than John Higgins’ brightly saturated pop-art aesthetic.

Doomsday Clock’s biggest achievement so far is that, against all expectations, it fits. Johns wrote a story that, so far, makes sense as a sequel to Watchmen, and manages to infuse it with the same political resonance and thematic weight to today as the original had in the 80s.

Batgirl #17

Then: Batgirl and Robin close in on the Mad Hatter, and rescue Ainsley from his control; and Dick keeps Barbara from crossing a line.

Now: Batgirl and Nightwing close in on the Red Queen, who has a few more tricks up her sleeve, including giant nanobots, and bringing Nightwing under her control.

I really enjoyed this entire Dick/Babs story, and this issue gives both timelines a really strong ending. The “then” timeline gives the two a solid shared experience for their relationship to start from; a time where they both needed to rely on the other to get through something incredibly taxing, physically, and mentally, but mostly emotionally. And in the present, the two work on a case recalls all those same emotions and have to rely on each-other in many of the same ways. As George Lucas might say, “it rhymes.” And Wildgoose’s art perfectly captures both the couple’s intimacy, and their emotional distance, in the two’s body language. If you’re a fan of Dick/Babs, this is a story that should be in your collection.

Wonder Woman #35

Wonder Woman’s brother – Jason! Who he is, and how he came to be!

Glaucus begins the tale of raising Jason, Diana’s secret brother; from the day that he discovered his powers until the day Jason wouldn’t need him anymore. And from that point, Jason takes over, telling of how, even though he kept his powers a secret from the world and the mythic figures who would look for him, they found him anyway.

The most interesting part of this otherwise typical origin story is how it riffs on the familiar stories of Superman discovering and training his powers – particularly the version told in Man of Steel. Like Clark in that movie, Jason is told by his adoptive father to keep his powers hidden so that he wouldn’t be hunted for them. But, hewing a bit closer to Wonder Woman’s own origin, Glaucus does ask Hercules to train Jason, realizing that if his powers are only going to grow, he should learn how to use them, even if he shouldn’t.

Once Jason takes over narration, he tells of how hiding his powers created a hole in his life that he couldn’t quite identify until he saw how his sister – Wonder Woman – was using her powers to help people.

Unfortunately, Jason’s story ends on a cliffhanger, which means that we’re dedicating at least two issues of Wonder Woman completely to the history of this completely new, and relatively unimportant dude. Superhero comics really doesn’t need any more riffs on this origin story. We’ve seen it all, in almost every possible permutation – and we especially don’t need it taking up room in a Wonder Woman book. Also, who are Glaucus and Jason even talking to? They’re supposedly in completely different places, so…how is this even supposed to work? And if they aren’t “talking” to anyone, then why is Glaucus’ narration written phonetically?

The Flash #35

Meena steals the Negative-Speedforce from Flash, and explains that she’s loyal to Black Hole because they’re the ones who saved her when Godspeed pulled her into the Speedforce when Barry had already written her off as dead. Then she escapes back to Black Hole’s labs, where she meets with Black Hole’s true leader – Raijin, God of Lightning.

Meanwhile, Barry and Wally finish off the rest of the Black Hole troops at the demolition derby, agreeing to work better in tandem to explore the real potential of the Speedforce to better combat Meena and Black Hole.

Kristen continues her investigation into Central City’s new crimelord at Iron Heights when she’s interrupted…

After Flash drops Wally off at home, where Wally comforts Iris; he gets a call from Warden Wolfe – there’s been a murder at Iron Heights.

This issue is an improvement over the last one, which mainly rehashed a bunch of information we already knew; but is still very exposition heavy, and does more work in introducing new plot questions than it does in making progress along already set-up plot threads. The issue’s biggest development is a return to status-quo, Barry’s got his usual powers back. Everything else is pretty much the same: Iris still needs her space from Barry; Barry and Wally are still repairing their relationship; Black Hole and the new Central City crimelord are still at large.

Nightwing: The New Order #4

Kate Kane and the Crusade discover that Jake isn’t just immune to the power-neutralizer, his biology actively fights against it, making him that much more of a threat to the current world order.

Dick wakes up in the Titan’s secret headquarters, surrounded by Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg, (Kid) Flash, and Lois Lane(?), who is a Blue Lantern now. It’s not the sweetest of reunions, with there still being a lot of bad blood between Dick and the Titans, who are outlaws under the new system Dick ushered in. But, even if nothing else, they can agree on rescuing Jake – especially after their man on the inside reveals that Jake can possibly reverse everything.

And here’s where this story goes full X-Men. We got the ad-hoc family with interpersonal conflicts, the one mutant who can cure everything, the government oppressors; the whole shebang, really. Honestly, I never got into the X-Men, nor the Titans, but a good template’s a good template; and this story’s pulling it off, even if it’s really dropped the ball on some of the more resonant themes of systemic persecution in favor of more of a rescue the POW vibe.

Black Panther #167

Shuri retrieves Dr. Franklin from a maximum security prison, legally, and brings him to Wakanda to continue their investigation into Klaw’s return. While he’s busy with that, Shuri leads T’Challa into the Djalia to learn more about Wakanda’s mythic history and the Originators. What he learns disturbs him. The Wakandans were not the native people of their land, and they did not take it peacefully.

Oofa-Doofa. This may be the heaviest reveal of Coates run so far, but one that plays directly to his strengths. Wakanda was built on genocide, their gods made as literal weapons against the native Originators. And now T’Challa, who has already recently made so many decisions to make his country – the most powerful in the world – more democratic; has to decide what to do after confronting his country’s original sin.

Basically, if you haven’t read Coates’ Case for Reparations, I suggest you do before the next issue.

Snotgirl #8

It’s the boy’s issue!

Sunny wakes up from a weird dream where Charlene gives birth to a green puppy, and goes to meet Ashley at the sports club before he marries Meg. While the two attempt to bond over Squash, Ash tells Sunny that he’d like to bang Lottie before he marries Meg, which really gets under Sunny’s skin.

After Squash, Virgil, who’s up to something accidently walks in on the two in the locker room and gets all hot and bothered.

Ash and Sunny continue to the showers, and Ash will not shut up about sex and girls and how much he wants to bang Lottie. It’s really gross, and even Sunny wonders if he can keep up this hang-out much longer.

Meanwhile, Lottie is bored and alone, and makes it worse by texting her friends randomly; and when she runs out of those, she texts Detective John Cho – who instantly responds because he’s also thirsty for Lottie.

Later, John happens to join Sunny and Ash in the sauna, where he reveals that he’s been friends with Sunny since they were kids. Ash asks everyone about their kinks, because he’s gross as heck, and John reveals he also has a thing for girls with green hair. At this, Sunny finally loses his cool and gets into a short fight with Ash, at least until their towels fall off and it gets too weird.

Getting home, Sunny finally checks his texts.

This issue is just as meandering as usual, but the change in perspective is nice. We’re finally in the head of someone sane as opposed to Lottie’s addled narcissism. The issue is also a great look into the phenomena of “locker room talk,” in that it frames that sort of behavior as just as bad and gross even in a locker room. And to his credit, Sunny eventually does stand up for his girls instead of letting boys be boys.

AND OH BOY IS THIS ISSUE HOMO AF. Just…all the sweaty muscle boys talking about their “zords”!

Comic Reviews 11/22/17 Doomsday Clock #1 We open in Watchmen’s New York, on November 22nd, 1992; which is 25 years to the day before this comic’s release, and also the week that Superman #75 - the Death of Superman - was released.

#batgirl #black panther #dc comics #doomsday clock #nightwing #rorschach #snotgirl #the flash #the new order #watchmen #wonder woman

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flauntpage · 7 years

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DGB Grab Bag: Extremely Polite Refs, Mean Wingers, and Toronto's Back, Baby!

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: This very polite referee – Even a Bruins fan couldn't get too upset with too-many-men calls if they were all announced like this.

The second star: This very realistic rock star – He gets it.

The first star: This very mean left winger – So much for the tolerant left.

Boys, easy, we're all friends here. Can't we think back to happier times of Kraft Dinner, mystery laundry and electric pilot lights?

Outrage of the Week

The issue: In his new book, Ken Dryden is calling on the NHL to ban all hits to the heads and "just finishing my check" late hits as part of an overhaul aimed at reducing concussions.

The outrage: It's too much. Or it's not enough. Or it's too late. Or we're just tired of the whole conversation. Is it justified: TSN's Bob McKenzie pretty much nails the sentiment in this heartfelt response to Dryden, in which he basically agrees with the book's premise while still feeling weary over having the whole debate yet again. McKenzie has been at the forefront of the concussion conversation for years, long before the rest of the sports media caught up, at least partly because it was personal for him. If he seems worn out, well, he's earned it.

It feels like we've been talking about this stuff forever. It also feels like nothing has ever actually changed. How is that possible? How can not doing anything be so exhausting?

Dryden is one of the smartest people in hockey; he literally wrote the book on the sport, when he published The Game in 1983. His new book is called Game Changer, and it's going to land in the hockey world with an impact. You should read it. We all should.

And then, we'll start up the same old arguments we've already been having. Some will want to see blanket bans on all hits to the head, including fighting. Others will mumble about the good old days and how hockey players used to be tough and how we can go watch figure skating if we don't like it. And around and around we'll go.

I've written about "just finishing my check" before, and I'm all on favor of getting rid of the whole concept. It doesn't make sense that arriving a tenth of a second too early is always a penalty, but two seconds late sometimes isn't. Treat it like the NFL treats hitting a QB—if you haven't already committed to the hit, you have to avoid it. That's a simple change, and the NHL should make it.

Banning all hits to the head is tougher. I'm all for it; I'm just not convinced you can make it happen. Take a look at Martin Hanzal's hit on Yannick Weber from last week. In a league where open-ice checking is allowed, how do you hit a guy who's coming straight at you with his head that low? Is there any responsibility at all on the guy with the puck to protect himself? Can you just hunch over and stay low and become untouchable? That sounds silly, but then we used to think players would never intentionally turn their backs along the boards to avoid hits, and now it's a standard play. So I don't know.

And that's the frustrating part. I've been writing about this stuff for almost a decade, and I still don't know. Not what to do, not what to change, not what to keep. Almost all of us want to get to the same place, but nobody seems to know how.

In the end, maybe it comes down to the point McKenzie makes at the end of his essay: Eventually, the players have to decide what kind of game they want to play. If they want big changes, they have the power to make it happen. If they're OK with the status quo, then the rest of us are probably wasting our time.

Or maybe that's just passing the buck, and taking the easy way out on a hard question. Even after all this time, I honestly still don't know.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Today marks the 24th anniversary of the first-ever NHL meeting between Wayne and Brent Gretzky. So it seems like a good day to honor another member of the Less Successful Younger Brother Travelling All-Stars, joining past alumni like Fedor Fedorov and Rocky Trottier. This week's obscure player is Steve Kariya.

Kariya was a college star who captained the University of Maine to an NCAA championship in 1999. But unlike his older brother Paul, who went fourth overall in 1993, Steve was never even drafted. The reason was fairly simple: He was just too small. At 5'6" and 170 pounds, he'd probably have a shot today, but back in the late-90s you almost never saw players that size.

Still, Kariya caught on with the Canucks as a free agent, and made an early impression by putting up ten points in six games during the 1999 preseason. That earned him a spot on the roster, and he managed eight goals and 19 points in 45 games as a rookie. Unfortunately, he'd play just 20 more NHL games and score just one more goal over the next two seasons in Vancouver, before being dealt to the Devils for Mikko Jokela. He never suited up in New Jersey, or anywhere else in the NHL. His big-league career was over after three seasons and 65 games.

That left him well behind his Hall-of-Fame brother on the all-time scoring list, although his contribution does get the family over the 1,000-point mark. He went on to a decent pro career in the AHL and Europe, and was popular with fans who appreciated the hard work he had to put in to compete against bigger players. You can relive some of his best moments through the wonders of still photography in this fan-made YouTube tribute video.

Debating the Issues

This week's debate: The Toronto Maple Leafs are good again, and Auston Matthews is emerging as an early MVP candidate. Do the Leafs get too much media attention?

In favor: Oh lord yes. Ask a fan of literally any other team. We're already sick of having the Leafs shoved down our throats.

Opposed: Oh, stop being so sensitive. The Leafs are a fun team. Their rapid-fire rebuild is an interesting story. And yes, they're one of the league's biggest markets, so of course they're going to get some extra attention. That's how the media works.

In favor: Some extra attention? Try all of it. You'd think none of the other teams even existed, thanks to all this round-the-clock coverage of whether Matthews scratched his left or his right cheek when he woke up this morning.

Opposed: You're exaggerating. Other teams get plenty of attention too, even if grumpy fanbases want to resort to making stuff up to pretend otherwise. In a 24-hour media world, there's plenty of coverage to go around, and if you can't find anything about your team it's because you'd rather whine than look for it.

In favor: But that's the point. I have to go looking for my team, because everybody leads with the Leafs and Matthews.

Opposed: Of course they do. You don't think Aaron Judge gets extra attention because he plays for the Yankees? Dak Prescott shouldn't have a bigger spotlight on the Cowboys? This is how the world works. That's not bias. That's just business.

In favor: It's business and bias, and there's nothing wrong with pointing that out.

Opposed: Oh boo hoo. You guys are so paranoid, always seeing pro-Leafs bias lurking behind every corner. It's almost comical.

In favor: Maybe not every corner, but it's…hey, wait a second, isn't this very column written by a known Leafs fan?

Opposed: Um… no it's not.

In favor: It totally is. He can't go two weeks without writing about them. They're even in this week's YouTube section.

Opposed: OK, fine. But again, that's not the same as being biased.

In favor: How can you tell?

Opposed: Because if this column were biased, your side of the debate would be written in a way that made you seem ridiculous.

In favor: Huh. I guess that's a good point. And in related news, I am a big stupid-head.

Opposed: Huh. Interesting.

In favor: HEY! I saw that! This is exactly what I'm talking about! A real-life example of the media favoring the Maple Leafs over my lame boring team that literally nobody cares about.

Opposed: You don't say?

In favor: STOP THIS! This isn't fair! Also, I am a giant crybaby with a crippling case of little-brother syndrome, and secretly want the Maple Leafs to win because complaining about them is the only joy in my dull and shallow life.

Opposed: Fascinating.

In favor: I hate you.

Opposed: The media is not biased in favor of the Maple Leafs and Auston Matthews.

In favor: The media is not biased in favor of the Maple Leafs and Auston Matthews.

The final verdict: The media is not biased in favor of the 2018 Stanley Cup champion Toronto Maple Leafs and perfect wonderful boy Auston Matthews, and anyone who says otherwise is a big whiny baby.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

So yeah, things are going pretty well in Toronto these days. But balance is important, so we need to nudge Leaf fans back towards their natural state of despair. So today, let's travel back to 1991 for a reminder that the Leafs can't ever have nice things.

We're watching an interview with Maple Leafs GM Floyd Smith, who's in his second season on the job and has had a busy few months. He recently made the worst trade in Maple Leafs history, his team is headed for last place, and everyone in Toronto wants him to lose his job. It's not going well.

This clip is from 1991. I don't have a specific date, but it's from some time before June, because that's when Smith is going to get fired. I would have put a spoiler alert on that, but this is a story about the Maple Leafs. You already knew it wasn't ending well.

In case you're not familiar with Floyd Smith, he played 13 seasons in the NHL, was a head coach for six seasons, went into scouting, and was eventually named Toronto's GM in 1989. He's a guy who's been around. And, as we're about to find out, at this point in his career he gives exactly zero dangnabbits what you or anyone else think about his work.

Our piece is introduced by CTV sports anchor Joe Tilley, who doesn't seem to be a big fan of Smith's. He's actually being restrained here—check out this clip from the same season in which he absolutely ethers Smith as "under-qualified and hopelessly incompetent." And here he is two decades later singing about the Leafs being hopeless. Also, he was apparently a three-time Alberta welterweight champion. I thoroughly enjoy Joe Tilley.

Sadly, Tilley isn't handling the actual interview; those duties to go to Suneel Joshi. But first, we need to meet the unquestioned star of our show: Whoever it is that does the graphics at CTV sports. This guy is fantastic. He starts us off with "Crisis Management" and a Maple Leafs logo being torn in half. That's some subtle symbolism right there.

Wait, why is the "A" from Leafs lying there, but not the "O" from Toronto? This is going to bother me all day.

Smith starts right in on the Leafs, and how awful they've been for the last decade. He's not wrong there. Meanwhile, Joshi listens to him with the exact same expression and posture my wife uses when I try to tell her about my fantasy football team.

Joshi asks about the pending shakeup in Leafs ownership, and whether that has Smith worried. The GM replies that "I don't hear very much from the people around here." Uh, that probably means you should be worried, Floyd.

We get our second graphic: "Let's Make a Deal," which disappointingly does not feature a bunch of Maple Leaf players dressed in outrageous costumes. Instead, it's fistful of Canadian twenties, which appear to be being offered to the Maple Leafs logo as compensation for the recent ripping-in-half incident.

Smith pumps the tires of a few of the team's veterans, including team captain Rob Ramage, "who gives us tremendous leadership." Fun fact: the Leafs lost Ramage in the expansion draft that May.

We really kick into high gear when Joshi asks if Smith has given up too much of the future. "What future? What'd I give up?" I love this answer so much, and it's made even better when Joshi asks a follow-up about Scott Pearson and Smith answers by talking about Scott Thornton, who at this point is still on the team. But for the record, neither Pearson nor Johnny McIntyre amounted to all that much, so Smith is kind of sort of right here.

Smith then explains that "all the teams that are up near the top" are trading away picks and prospects, which is maybe not the best point to hit when your team is closing in on dead last. But he redeems himself with "Draft picks are good when they play, but only 20% of them play." Hell yeah, look at Floyd breaking out the analytics!

Seriously though, Cliff Fletcher said "draft schmaft" in 1996 and to this day people still bring it up, but Smith basically torched his whole scouting department in this interview and nobody cared. The internet ruined everything.

Our next graphic: "The Price Is Right." Wait, are we doing a game show theme here? Was "Crisis Management" a game show? Because that sounds awesome.

We shift to talk about Wendel Clark's contract, during which Smith says Clark's recent problems were "more mental than physical." Again, let's imagine a GM saying something like this today. We'd have three days of blistering hot takes and counter-takes. Back then, every Leaf fan watched this interview and went "Sure, I guess" and went back to organizing our eight-track cassettes.

Our last graphic is "Search for Tomorrow," which was definitely not a game show. But that doesn't bother me because I'm looking at a Maple Leafs logo flat on its back while beams of light poke through a clouded sky. Did…did the Maple Leafs die? Are they going to heaven right now, graphics guy? Should I have brought flowers?

"We're in a tough division with some good hockey teams." Oh great, as if things weren't bad enough the Leafs have apparently been kicked out of the Norris.

We wrap up with Smith running down a short list of areas the Leafs need to improve in: Their play within the division, their play on the road, and "definitely" their play at home. Other than that, they're all set.

And we end with Smith planting his flag in the ground, with a promise to Leafs fans: "I feel really strongly that…uh…it will not embarrass anybody next year." Aim for the stars, Floyd!

The epilogue here is that Smith was quickly fired and replaced by Fletcher, who almost immediately turned the Leafs into contenders. That was pretty much it for Smith as an NHL front office presence, much to the despair of interviewers everywhere.

Bonus YouTube Clip

RIP, Gord.

DGB Grab Bag: Extremely Polite Refs, Mean Wingers, and Toronto's Back, Baby! published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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amtushinfosolutionspage · 7 years

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Extremely Polite Refs, Mean Wingers, and Toronto’s Back, Baby!

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: This very polite referee – Even a Bruins fan couldn’t get too upset with too-many-men calls if they were all announced like this.

The second star: This very realistic rock star – He gets it.

The first star: This very mean left winger – So much for the tolerant left.

Boys, easy, we’re all friends here. Can’t we think back to happier times of Kraft Dinner, mystery laundry and electric pilot lights?

Outrage of the Week

The issue: In his new book, Ken Dryden is calling on the NHL to ban all hits to the heads and “just finishing my check” late hits as part of an overhaul aimed at reducing concussions.

The outrage: It’s too much. Or it’s not enough. Or it’s too late. Or we’re just tired of the whole conversation.

Is it justified: TSN’s Bob McKenzie pretty much nails the sentiment in this heartfelt response to Dryden, in which he basically agrees with the book’s premise while still feeling weary over having the whole debate yet again. McKenzie has been at the forefront of the concussion conversation for years, long before the rest of the sports media caught up, at least partly because it was personal for him. If he seems worn out, well, he’s earned it.

It feels like we’ve been talking about this stuff forever. It also feels like nothing has ever actually changed. How is that possible? How can not doing anything be so exhausting?

Dryden is one of the smartest people in hockey; he literally wrote the book on the sport, when he published The Game in 1983. His new book is called Game Changer, and it’s going to land in the hockey world with an impact. You should read it. We all should.

And then, we’ll start up the same old arguments we’ve already been having. Some will want to see blanket bans on all hits to the head, including fighting. Others will mumble about the good old days and how hockey players used to be tough and how we can go watch figure skating if we don’t like it. And around and around we’ll go.

I’ve written about “just finishing my check” before, and I’m all on favor of getting rid of the whole concept. It doesn’t make sense that arriving a tenth of a second too early is always a penalty, but two seconds late sometimes isn’t. Treat it like the NFL treats hitting a QB—if you haven’t already committed to the hit, you have to avoid it. That’s a simple change, and the NHL should make it.

Banning all hits to the head is tougher. I’m all for it; I’m just not convinced you can make it happen. Take a look at Martin Hanzal’s hit on Yannick Weber from last week. In a league where open-ice checking is allowed, how do you hit a guy who’s coming straight at you with his head that low? Is there any responsibility at all on the guy with the puck to protect himself? Can you just hunch over and stay low and become untouchable? That sounds silly, but then we used to think players would never intentionally turn their backs along the boards to avoid hits, and now it’s a standard play. So I don’t know.

And that’s the frustrating part. I’ve been writing about this stuff for almost a decade, and I still don’t know. Not what to do, not what to change, not what to keep. Almost all of us want to get to the same place, but nobody seems to know how.

In the end, maybe it comes down to the point McKenzie makes at the end of his essay: Eventually, the players have to decide what kind of game they want to play. If they want big changes, they have the power to make it happen. If they’re OK with the status quo, then the rest of us are probably wasting our time.

Or maybe that’s just passing the buck, and taking the easy way out on a hard question. Even after all this time, I honestly still don’t know.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Kariya was a college star who captained the University of Maine to an NCAA championship in 1999. But unlike his older brother Paul, who went fourth overall in 1993, Steve was never even drafted. The reason was fairly simple: He was just too small. At 5’6″ and 170 pounds, he’d probably have a shot today, but back in the late-90s you almost never saw players that size.

Still, Kariya caught on with the Canucks as a free agent, and made an early impression by putting up ten points in six games during the 1999 preseason. That earned him a spot on the roster, and he managed eight goals and 19 points in 45 games as a rookie. Unfortunately, he’d play just 20 more NHL games and score just one more goal over the next two seasons in Vancouver, before being dealt to the Devils for Mikko Jokela. He never suited up in New Jersey, or anywhere else in the NHL. His big-league career was over after three seasons and 65 games.

Debating the Issues

This week’s debate: The Toronto Maple Leafs are good again, and Auston Matthews is emerging as an early MVP candidate. Do the Leafs get too much media attention?

In favor: Oh lord yes. Ask a fan of literally any other team. We’re already sick of having the Leafs shoved down our throats.

Opposed: Oh, stop being so sensitive. The Leafs are a fun team. Their rapid-fire rebuild is an interesting story. And yes, they’re one of the league’s biggest markets, so of course they’re going to get some extra attention. That’s how the media works.

In favor: Some extra attention? Try all of it. You’d think none of the other teams even existed, thanks to all this round-the-clock coverage of whether Matthews scratched his left or his right cheek when he woke up this morning.

Opposed: You’re exaggerating. Other teams get plenty of attention too, even if grumpy fanbases want to resort to making stuff up to pretend otherwise. In a 24-hour media world, there’s plenty of coverage to go around, and if you can’t find anything about your team it’s because you’d rather whine than look for it.

In favor: But that’s the point. I have to go looking for my team, because everybody leads with the Leafs and Matthews.

Opposed: Of course they do. You don’t think Aaron Judge gets extra attention because he plays for the Yankees? Dak Prescott shouldn’t have a bigger spotlight on the Cowboys? This is how the world works. That’s not bias. That’s just business.

In favor: It’s business and bias, and there’s nothing wrong with pointing that out.

Opposed: Oh boo hoo. You guys are so paranoid, always seeing pro-Leafs bias lurking behind every corner. It’s almost comical.

In favor: Maybe not every corner, but it’s…hey, wait a second, isn’t this very column written by a known Leafs fan?

Opposed: Um… no it’s not.

In favor: It totally is. He can’t go two weeks without writing about them. They’re even in this week’s YouTube section.

Opposed: OK, fine. But again, that’s not the same as being biased.

In favor: How can you tell?

Opposed: Because if this column were biased, your side of the debate would be written in a way that made you seem ridiculous.

In favor: Huh. I guess that’s a good point. And in related news, I am a big stupid-head.

Opposed: Huh. Interesting.

In favor: HEY! I saw that! This is exactly what I’m talking about! A real-life example of the media favoring the Maple Leafs over my lame boring team that literally nobody cares about.

Opposed: You don’t say?

In favor: STOP THIS! This isn’t fair! Also, I am a giant crybaby with a crippling case of little-brother syndrome, and secretly want the Maple Leafs to win because complaining about them is the only joy in my dull and shallow life.

Opposed: Fascinating.

In favor: I hate you.

Opposed: The media is not biased in favor of the Maple Leafs and Auston Matthews.

In favor: The media is not biased in favor of the Maple Leafs and Auston Matthews.

The final verdict: The media is not biased in favor of the 2018 Stanley Cup champion Toronto Maple Leafs and perfect wonderful boy Auston Matthews, and anyone who says otherwise is a big whiny baby.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

So yeah, things are going pretty well in Toronto these days. But balance is important, so we need to nudge Leaf fans back towards their natural state of despair. So today, let’s travel back to 1991 for a reminder that the Leafs can’t ever have nice things.

We’re watching an interview with Maple Leafs GM Floyd Smith, who’s in his second season on the job and has had a busy few months. He recently made the worst trade in Maple Leafs history, his team is headed for last place, and everyone in Toronto wants him to lose his job. It’s not going well.

This clip is from 1991. I don’t have a specific date, but it’s from some time before June, because that’s when Smith is going to get fired. I would have put a spoiler alert on that, but this is a story about the Maple Leafs. You already knew it wasn’t ending well.

In case you’re not familiar with Floyd Smith, he played 13 seasons in the NHL, was a head coach for six seasons, went into scouting, and was eventually named Toronto’s GM in 1989. He’s a guy who’s been around. And, as we’re about to find out, at this point in his career he gives exactly zero dangnabbits what you or anyone else think about his work.

Our piece is introduced by CTV sports anchor Joe Tilley, who doesn’t seem to be a big fan of Smith’s. He’s actually being restrained here—check out this clip from the same season in which he absolutely ethers Smith as “under-qualified and hopelessly incompetent.” And here he is two decades later singing about the Leafs being hopeless. Also, he was apparently a three-time Alberta welterweight champion. I thoroughly enjoy Joe Tilley.

Sadly, Tilley isn’t handling the actual interview; those duties to go to Suneel Joshi. But first, we need to meet the unquestioned star of our show: Whoever it is that does the graphics at CTV sports. This guy is fantastic. He starts us off with “Crisis Management” and a Maple Leafs logo being torn in half. That’s some subtle symbolism right there.

Wait, why is the “A” from Leafs lying there, but not the “O” from Toronto? This is going to bother me all day.

Smith starts right in on the Leafs, and how awful they’ve been for the last decade. He’s not wrong there. Meanwhile, Joshi listens to him with the exact same expression and posture my wife uses when I try to tell her about my fantasy football team.

Joshi asks about the pending shakeup in Leafs ownership, and whether that has Smith worried. The GM replies that “I don’t hear very much from the people around here.” Uh, that probably means you should be worried, Floyd.

We get our second graphic: “Let’s Make a Deal,” which disappointingly does not feature a bunch of Maple Leaf players dressed in outrageous costumes. Instead, it’s fistful of Canadian twenties, which appear to be being offered to the Maple Leafs logo as compensation for the recent ripping-in-half incident.

Smith pumps the tires of a few of the team’s veterans, including team captain Rob Ramage, “who gives us tremendous leadership.” Fun fact: the Leafs lost Ramage in the expansion draft that May.

We really kick into high gear when Joshi asks if Smith has given up too much of the future. “What future? What’d I give up?” I love this answer so much, and it’s made even better when Joshi asks a follow-up about Scott Pearson and Smith answers by talking about Scott Thornton, who at this point is still on the team. But for the record, neither Pearson nor Johnny McIntyre amounted to all that much, so Smith is kind of sort of right here.

Smith then explains that “all the teams that are up near the top” are trading away picks and prospects, which is maybe not the best point to hit when your team is closing in on dead last. But he redeems himself with “Draft picks are good when they play, but only 20% of them play.” Hell yeah, look at Floyd breaking out the analytics!

Seriously though, Cliff Fletcher said “draft schmaft” in 1996 and to this day people still bring it up, but Smith basically torched his whole scouting department in this interview and nobody cared. The internet ruined everything.

Our next graphic: “The Price Is Right.” Wait, are we doing a game show theme here? Was “Crisis Management” a game show? Because that sounds awesome.

We shift to talk about Wendel Clark’s contract, during which Smith says Clark’s recent problems were “more mental than physical.” Again, let’s imagine a GM saying something like this today. We’d have three days of blistering hot takes and counter-takes. Back then, every Leaf fan watched this interview and went “Sure, I guess” and went back to organizing our eight-track cassettes.

Our last graphic is “Search for Tomorrow,” which was definitely not a game show. But that doesn’t bother me because I’m looking at a Maple Leafs logo flat on its back while beams of light poke through a clouded sky. Did…did the Maple Leafs die? Are they going to heaven right now, graphics guy? Should I have brought flowers?

“We’re in a tough division with some good hockey teams.” Oh great, as if things weren’t bad enough the Leafs have apparently been kicked out of the Norris.

We wrap up with Smith running down a short list of areas the Leafs need to improve in: Their play within the division, their play on the road, and “definitely” their play at home. Other than that, they’re all set.

And we end with Smith planting his flag in the ground, with a promise to Leafs fans: “I feel really strongly that…uh…it will not embarrass anybody next year.” Aim for the stars, Floyd!

Bonus YouTube Clip

RIP, Gord.

DGB Grab Bag: Extremely Polite Refs, Mean Wingers, and Toronto’s Back, Baby! syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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redlemonz · 7 years

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Day #3

Fuck everything. I can’t deal with this, what’s even happening. Ugh, all I have is this continuous warm, stabbing-like pain inside me which won’t just go away, following what felt like a bitter end to last night. Being human absolutely sucks to begin with, but even more so when you’re just a sensitive and emotionally vulnerable asshole with a chemical imbalance in his head which tells him everything is way worse, and you should deserve to feel way worse.

Day 3 - upside down & inside out

The above basically sums up the morning so far today. I woke up and punished myself, and will probably continue to, (trust me, it’s not really a choice I can make) for my actions last night. I’m an on-going detriment to myself as it is, so the real question is, why am I being one to her - even more than I already was. Just leave her alone & stop finding literally any excuse to contact her, even if it’s with good intentions - It’s not about you and it doesn’t matter anymore. Give her what she wants for a change - not you. She put up with your bullshit undeservingly for long enough.

Work. It’s a Thursday.. inching closer to the weekend - ugh, screw the weekend. Finding it difficult enough today to keep myself in tact at my desk as it is, let alone in my own lonely presence at home. I even shifted my scheduled yet unscheduled shower crying session to a different location - my car during the drive to work. Gotta change things up after all. Prior to leaving though, for some unknown reason today I decided to reattach my detachable hood to the coat-jacket-thing I’ve been wearing to work for the last couple years. Of all days, I feel like I needed it today. Not because it’s raining or anything - it’s actually a beautiful day (in which I picture myself walking BBT with her at One tree hill after work, hand in hand - great). Aside from being a wondrous fashionable alteration, I believe it’s probably more the fact that the hood gives me a false sense of security, as it shields me ever so slightly from the cruel world. I can keep to myself, only looking ahead and not having to expose myself to more, unnecessary features of society in what’s around me. Fashionable change aside, a change in myself is what I need fullstop to try get use to life without her. I can’t be the same guy I once was, as it’s all too familiar to my daily life with her. I have to be someone else.. I have to be something else (homage to the fictional guy who’s identity I’m saved on her phone under as). Which brings me to the daily cup of coffee I drank at work with the other two. No sugar or milo mixed in today (self made mocha recipe). I wanted to hate myself like the rest of the world and taste the absolute bitterness of life literally, and it definitely didn’t disappoint in that regard. I don’t deserve the sweetness. During this coffee time, I was also now starting to fail in my facade of chipper-ness. In fact I couldn’t help but openly admit to the other two, that unlike yesterday where I was trying my best to be upbeat and fine about things, that I’m not. I’m broken. I know it’s what thy wanted to hear as they saw right through me the last couple days anyway - and it’s time to start facing my own truth.. even if it’s slowly and steadily. Thankfully I was able to contain the tears. Im getting by through making small talk with other colleagues who don’t know about these circumstances, and being genuinely happy for them where I can. Glad to hear that your back injury is improving and that you’re attending all your medical appointments. Glad to hear your pregnancy is going swell as ever now, after everything you’ve been through. Glad to hear you’ve finally promoted to another team - you deserve it. Glad to hear that you think the new Doctor on the show being a female isn’t actually a problem - you’re fantastic. And so on. I just want to be able to be glad for her. Which once again it dawns upon me the constant emphasis and repetitive reminder that I need to exit her life.. to make things easy for her. Considering easy is what she wants. Pretty sure it’s quite distinguishable by now with everything written thus far that I don’t fit that/her criteria. I’ve never really been good enough when it comes down to it. I feel exhausted. It’s been a long as hell day at work & my anxiety has picked up, though still controlled as it’s still a small dose (which I am extremely thankful for). Somewhat ironically she’s actually helped me gain enough strength during our relationship to battle it - for now anyway. Let’s see, another memory to blabber on about just sparked (obviously it did - because this whole damn thing is about her and almost anything, as insignificant as it may seem, can form a link or be symbolic if your mind & heart are assholes to you) as a result of a colleague asking one of the ‘the three’ to borrow his umbrella as she broke the other one of ‘the three’’s umbrella and still owes him a replacement. Back when I was still stuck in the friendzone yet still head over boots for her, I had this cool umbrella with a samurai sword handle. She accidentally broke it through tripping down a small, not-very-steep hill on one of our many mountain walks together. I was just glad that she was alright. Then she stabbed me with said broken part of umbrella. Yup. Another accident (I hope), which caused my left thumb to continuously bleed. Never in my life I was so psyched to have brought an umbrella, and especially have the events follow in the way they did (with the exception of her falling). She so cutely wrapped up my thumb and first aided me with her scouting skills, with a bunch of leaves and whatever else she could find. My heroine. To top it all off, my thumb received a couple kisses from her, and eventually so did my cheek when we parted ways that beautiful day. From that day I still have a voice recording of her at the summit of the mountain as she was singing/shouting out the lyrics to Kelly Clarkson’s “since you’ve been gone”, of which the lyrics are now more than appropriate (yes I know, most songs are about relationships and love, if not bitches and money - which in a way are also their own relationships?). Her hair tied, black and white polka dot top & light blue jeans with a purple cardigan wrapped around them - looking as beautiful as always.. but nevertheless, back to the point at hand - She still owes me an umbrella. Though not really - the kisses I received that day and her company make up for it pretty well, and can generally make up for anything she breaks.. even a heart.

Back home (yes I’m currently living a very exciting life as you can tell). Just watched a bit of an episode of Friends - Ross still in denial though clearly crazy about Rachel, whom is unaware and worried about their history together being weird if she were to consider moving in as his flatmate (which he desperately desires). The ultimately classic television adaption of the most special kind of love between two human beings - a balance of being best friends, lovers, partners and perceptively & potentially, even soulmates. Looking back again at my recent wonderful weekend (+sick day monday) in which my failed attempts to win her back for longer than that precious time we had cherished together, I sunk low, although true to my own geeky belief, by utilising that very TV reference of us being Ross & Rachel. Definitely didn’t click straight away as to why she bursted out laughing about my overly geeky and lame reference comparison, until she made me realise I admitted to being Ross. Fuck. Long ago my group of friends had this ongoing debate with me that I was the Ross of our group, which I took as an insult at the time comparative to the other characters, cause well, it’s Ross. I overly defended my case for ages, and to this day am still firmly of the idea that I’m a combinative representation of all the main characters. Let’s break it down. Like come on - the under-appreciated punny comedy of, yet easy to pick on, Chandler (obviously my favourite as mentioned first). The obsessive Monica who can’t handle dirty dishes & has to make scheduled plans. The mainstream, basic bitch, Rachel (oh shit, please note this definition does not at all apply to 'her’ being Rachel as per my geeky romantic acclaims above. She is waaay more). The randomness and open weirdness offered by Phoebe. The comic idiot, Joey (although I don’t even have to act the part). And fine yes, the hopeless romantic, and sensitive Ross. Wow - What an positively arrogant bastard I just became during my usual scheduled time of despairing and regretting stuff. Though I don’t mean to be arrogant - as the point I was trying to bring across is that we all have various qualities and attributes from each of the Friends. They all reside in each of us to some extent, so you can’t just be fitted to one. Back to her - she just snapped me? What in the world? Okay calm down dude, relax you idiot. Don’t ruin this moment - it’s not a big deal - it’s just a snap (even though it visibly means so much considering your little bit of anxiety subsided without you initially even noticing, and you’re grinning like an idiot at her name popping up on your phone). And open! Oh the absolute bloody hell. It’s a snap of the same episode I just watched, on the plus one channel certainly enough, because it’s an hour later. The caption - “hi friend” on top of a very distinct character’s face. I’m Ross. That cheeky yet adorable little minx (Minx? What? So I tend to say non-sensical stuff & my brain freezes more than usual quite often when it comes to her). So I switch over to the same channel, grab my phone & send her a “hey friend” snap right back - and you can probably guess quite easily.. that it was on top of a portrait view of Rachel. So we snapped and chatted ever so slightly more this evening - and my whole day turned upside down - which means I’m the right way up now.

Finished writing up my little pub quiz for tomorrow at work. Snuck in a question right at the end about the snowy mountain I was at with her on the weekend, which I couldn’t resist. Well I mean I guess I could have, but didn’t want to. It just felt right and left me with blissful content, ending the quiz on such a beautiful note. Just like us. It all get quite unintentionally poetic, and I loved it. Plus people need to learn more about the Country they live in, so I’m really doing everyone favours here (says the hypocrite). What makes this night even better is that she just did my quiz. I know she didn’t probably care to talk to me or anything, which doesn’t matter because she did my quiz & I’m full of smiles as a result. I kept to my word and didn’t call her though. We made it work as I sent her real time snaps of each question on my TV, blanking out the rest of the background or hiding other questions with various random emojis. One by one. She even cutely reaffirmed the 10 second rule of answering without me having to mention anything. The smartypants ended up with 6/10 (even a 6.5 really - heh, as she chose correctly on one of them the second time but I strictly took her first answer). I can guarantee its gonna be higher than the average amongst large groups tomorrow when I conduct this live. She even cracked a few of her classic puns for one of the questions which wasn’t surprising at all, and kept this stupid smile glued to my face. Then we wished each other a nice weekend and night ahead & parted our ways. Though it was a simple experience, it was a momentous feeling - especially with that last question. I wonder if she thought back to our weekend also because of it. Maybe it made her smile? I hope so. It certainly made me.. did I already mention that? Well shit, this can’t be good.

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