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#I may have a problem 😔
0809sysblings · 7 months
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Amane, indoctrination, and gaslighting
and why voting Amane innocent would be the best course of action
I've been wanting to write a big post on Amane talking about indoctrination and such. Because I see takes sometimes that make it clear the person doesn't really... Get It.
Most of what I'll be explaining comes from my personal experiences growing up.
Additionally, most of what I say when it comes to outcomes (i.e. "If x happens, Amane will do y") will be based on the assumption that realism, not entertainment, is prioritized in the writing and that there are no major holes in our knowledge of what's going on. Theoretically anything could happen since this is a fictional scenario and we don't know everything when it comes to the world, the cases, and the characters. Not to mention my situation was nowhere near as extreme as hers. So although I probably have a better understanding of it than most people, I definitely can't claim that I know what she's gone through.
Personal anecdotes I add to better support my points will be in the small font (this!) since I don't want them to distract from the main text and so that they can be easily skipped for those who may be worried about being triggered. But if anyone needs plain text descriptions, I'll happily provide them!
!! TW for child abuse, religious abuse, and cults !!
I recommend skipping my personal anecdotes if more detailed discussions about these topics are a trigger for you.
At the heart of "good" (read: successful) indoctrination is gaslighting.
Since gaslighting has been one of the many psychology terms completely watered down and distorted by the internet, I will define it just so we're all on the same page!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make the victim question their own sanity, sense of reality, or power of reasoning.
Basically, you can't trust yourself. You can't trust your thoughts, your feelings, your interpretations, etc. You become completely reliant on other people (usually specific people who are the ones doing the gaslighting) to figure out what's real/true or not.
Toxic/extremist religious groups like to take gaslighting a step further though. Not only do they make it so you cannot trust yourself to judge what is right or not, they may also teach you that what feels wrong is actually right. You can see where this can start to cause some issues lol.
Anything your gut may tell you that contradicts what the group/cult leaders tell you—"this is wrong!", "this is bad!", "I don't want to do this..."—must be ignored. Because those feelings and thoughts, according to the leaders, are actually the sinful part of you trying to lead the good and faithful part of you astray. They make you question yourself to make sure you never question them.
They will figuratively or literally beat this into you until your first instinct is no longer to listen to your gut and do what it says, but to dismiss it and do what it's telling you not to do. Existing becomes a chronic power struggle between your unconscious mind and your conscious mind. Unfortunately, the fact that you're struggling often then gets used against you as proof that you need to follow their teachings. Because if you're unhappy, then you must be doing something wrong. You just need to have a little more faith, dedicate a little more time to the religion/group, go a little harder into your duties... Only then will you feel better—feel more enlightened.
An integral part in making all this work is isolation. If you don't somehow isolate the members, they may figure out that they're being manipulated and abused.
Now, isolation doesn't always mean purely physical isolation (though Amane is being isolated physically to at least some capacity). Psychological isolation is almost just as powerful. An almost universal psychological isolation tactic used by extremist groups and cults is the "Us vs Them" mentality. We can see this being very prominent with Amane. A lot of things she talks about with regard to the cult involves an Us-vs-Them dynamic. There is "Us", the cult, and "Them", everyone else.
Personally, we were taught that those who weren't believers of our religion were out to get us or will, at the very least, get us hurt/killed somehow. We were told many people wanted us dead just for being believers. You had to be careful and watch out when interacting with non-believers; you couldn't trust them. God was constantly testing you via others, and you had to make sure you stayed faithful.
This in particular is why no matter if you vote guilty or innocent, that itself will not actually do anything to change her beliefs. Voting her guilty will not make her start to feel bad and then question her beliefs. Voting her innocent will not make her listen to us and then question her beliefs. If we make her have any doubt about the cult, that's just proof to her that what we're telling her is wrong and is just another "trial" from God for her to overcome. So, changing her beliefs should not be a factor considered when voting since it's completely irrelevant. Everything can be twisted to support the cult. That's just how it works.
I don't think any amount of punishment will make Amane "come to her senses". I mean... what could we possibly do to her that she hasn't already had to endure? Punishment will likely only escalate things even more. Not to mention that having a bit of a fascination with martyrdom isn't all that uncommon in those who have been religiously abused and indoctrinated. The threat of punishment may only serve to motivate her to double down on her beliefs and behavior. Not to say she wants and likes punishment. It's obvious she's both scared of punishment and wants it to stop. After all, that's most likely the motive behind the murder.
Even prior to Amane's age, I was already fantasizing about being a martyr. A part of me almost wanted to be killed for my religion and community. It was seen as something extremely admirable. The ultimate sacrifice, if you will. We were taught that if given the choice between saving yourself by denying your faith or letting yourself be hurt/killed by standing your ground, you should choose the latter. Of course, I also did not want that to happen at all. It scared me shitless. But we weren't allowed to be scared about that stuff. It was seen as questioning God and the religious authorities, which was completely taboo. So I had no choice but to "want" it.
Isolating Amane is the worst possible thing we could do to her. No one gets better from being isolated, and this goes double for people living in abusive environments. She's been isolated her whole life. The best thing for her would be spending time with the other prisoners without restrictions. The more time she spends around people who have no connection to the cult, the better. Trying to argue with those in cults about why they're wrong and why they are in a cult (because most don't even recognize they're in a cult due to the gaslighting, indoctrination, and stigma) will almost always backfire. The best thing to do is to just be there for them to have someone to interact with who is not a cult member.
The only reason I left the extremist religious community I grew up in was because I made a friend who was not affiliated with it. I don't think I would've been able to see that the conditions I was living in were Not Very Good without that friend. He didn't even really do anything to actively help me. Just learning more about the real world through him was enough to make me start looking closer at my life.
To vote her guilty would be to continue isolating her. Not just physically as the guilty prisoners get restrictions put on them, but it's also an inescapable psychological isolation. Innocent vs Guilty is just another Us vs Them dynamic.
I fear that, if she ends up guilty this trial, she will likely be voted guilty again in trial 3. Her aggression will probably only escalate as she feels herself becoming more and more cornered. And since I know many people are voting her guilty solely to make sure she doesn't hurt Shidou or other prisoners, I can only imagine what the voting will look like for her in trial 3 once she's forced to become even more aggressive to protect herself.
And tbh... I can't imagine that having a prisoner with 3 guilty verdicts will make for all that interesting of a story for them. Not that it would be boring, per se. But having variety would, in my opinion, be the most interesting and entertaining! So, if nothing else I've said has been able to sway those who vote her guilty, then think about the entertainment factor!
Please vote this severely traumatized 12 y/o girl innocent. We can give her so many secret cakes to eat.
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hischierlovebot · 2 months
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"This meeting could have been an email" but it's "this fic could have been 3k shorter"
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seokmattchuus · 5 months
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Just when I was starting to accept Scentist as vixx's disbandment song, they have a comeback with the cuntiest fucking song, those whores
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bmpmp3 · 9 months
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i do like dave in blue a lot
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toastsnaffler · 9 days
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sorry for being such a hater but fr would it fucking kill the hades devs to make their buff women ACTUALLY beefy. what are we doing to our beautiful queens 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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daz4i · 9 months
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every time i wear a really big shirt and no pants i feel so boytoy coded. i think this is what i was meant to be tbh
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hawnks · 2 years
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all of the nurses at the clinic being extra special nice to me becuase i came in looking like this:
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skittlewaffle · 2 years
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sometimes i wanna make my own special Sun n Moon designs
but then it turns out someone had a similar idea and it looks like i copied them :(
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lesbianlenas · 2 years
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real support is my friend saying that if i ever went on big brother she would make a twitter just to make fancams of me lmaoooo
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ikyw-t · 2 months
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well I've been trying for the past decade at least and I have yet to succeed BUT the day that my brain fully comprehends that my skin ≠ my enemy. well. I will be well and truly unstoppable. possibly my biggest and also possibly my only insecurity will be eradicated and I will be able to go a single day without thinking about the nuisance of... just having skin 😔🙏
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rachiller · 2 years
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feelings super crazy and bad and anxious and was like the world is terrible & I hate it and then I remembered how much I’ve eaten in the past week and realised it MAY be a fixable issue
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yanderehsr · 9 months
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How would yandere Childe, blade, zhongli and Jingyuan punish their darling who repeatedly tried to escape and succeeded once?
Poor little Y/N😔
Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapped reader, Violence
Childe: While yes, he does live for the thrill of a good fight and a good chase, he doesn't want that with you. He's wants a domestic life with you where both of you can live happy, the only problem is that he gets jealous easely and chose to kidnap you.
So believe me when I say that Childe does not enjoy having to catch you, when he noticed that you actually managed to escape, he couldn't have ran faster, he never stops running until he sees you again, no matter how many he needs to kill and no matter how many villages is set on fire, he will find you. And when he does he will hug you and apologize.
Why is Childe apologizing? He is just sad that he had to break both of your legs, he didn't want to but he can't have you leaving him again.
"I'm sorry, but this was the best solution, now let me carry you home"
Blade: Oh he is pissed, you are his and you attempt to escape, he can't have that now can he. Just attempted escape is already punished quite harshly with starvation and if you succeeded in escaping then he might have to do something drastic.
It won't take Blade long to hunt you down and when he does catch you he will drag you back home, he will make sure that you can't ever run away again. He is sure you will look just as lovely without your legs.
"Just as I thought, even without them you look just as lovely, now have you learned your lesson"
Zhongli: He gets why you would try to run and he is calm every time, you are not in a relationship and because of his greed he took you, so he doesn't punish you really, that was until he came home to find that you were gone, not trying to escape but gone.
Zhongli may have never panicked as much as he is now, he is out of the door and searching every corner of Liyue until he gets you back and when he does he is as forgiving as always, well he may have chained you down this time, you can never be too cautious.
"I know that you don't like me, but I am sure you will find life much better if you did"
Jing Yuan: Oh how cute you are when you try and run away, as long as you don't succeed he won't punish you, he just finds it adorable, but if you actually escaped, well that is a different story.
There is nowhere you can run from Jing Yuan, it would be a miracle if you even get away from the Luofu, so you can be sure that he will get you back, his punishment is simple. He will place you in a closet, somewhere small where you will feel claustrophobic, you will not be allowed any outside contact not even from Jing Yuan.
And when he can hear you crying, begging to be let out, that you will never try again and that you will accept all his affections, only then will he let you out.
"I am so glad that you won't try again, now how about a hug, I have missed having you in my arms"
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positively-mine · 24 days
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You’re a girl?!
how they find out & they're reaction
tags: slightly ooc, afab, female anatomy, slight favouritism..., grammatical and punctuation errors 😔
a/n: rewatched Saiki k and so I've been procrastinating lately BUT YEA I GET TO WRITE SAIKI K NOW
Series: ❤️ 🧡 🩵 💛 💜 💙 💚
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Silver
Sleeping beauty over here didn’t know until one fateful afternoon nap. First situation is when he’s napping in an unconventional area and out of sight. He hears people talking (this school and their problem of talking too loudly 😒) and he overhears this price of information. Secondly, (he's sharp but doesn't show it) and straight forward asks you. Like he has his suspicions but just wanted to make sure in case he makes you uncomfortable.
Does get slightly protective of you. He knows that you can handle yourself just fine but in case you ever get put into a difficult situation he will wake up from his slumber and help you.
Sebek
I want to say that he barges into your room over a range of reasons. Could be because he wants to talk about how amazing malleus is, scolding you for not appreciating said amazingness, or simply just because he wants to spend some quality time with his "friend". Whatever the reason, it causes him to forget about his manners and slams your door wide open. "Human! Listen to w-" and before he can even finish his sentence he's screaming and slamming the door shut.
"Stupid Human!" as one of malleus's guard, its important that he has fast reaction speed to protect his liege. That also became useful when you find your friend half naked and that they're also now a girl (?) the fast reaction speed does not apply to his head at all for this part.
This silly fool will avoid you. please confront him and do something about it because he's not even keeping it discrete. If he sees you down the corridor while hes walking with malleus he may not know it but he shifts his body to hide behind him a bit. Things will get better, just talk to him 😭 Once that's settled he does say things like "ofc as malleus's guard it is my duty to help those weaker around me!" not straight forward with his intentions but it's there at least.
Lilia
i feel like he would know it from the start. It's his old man senses tingling. Many long years of exisiting makes you gain the ability to just suddenly know about such information as well. That or either when hes hanging around trees and overhears you talking about your dilemma with Grim. But doesn’t say anything about it. He’ll wait till when you’re ready to tell him.
In the meantime though, he treats you as per normal. Except those few times where he purposely puts you on the spot to try and get you to tell him faster. He can be a bit impatient and whether you tell him now or later, he will get it out of you eventually.
Malleus
Might be biased with this one but precious pookie pie over here didn't know. He has to have some miracle happen before he finds out. Or Lilia tells him. Like maybe he overhears from the Adeuce duo about your situation or your suspicious behavior around others. He may not know customs outside of his but he can tell when you're feeling awkward. Asks Lilia about it.
Well he's not sure why you're hiding it but in whatever case he will help you. You're his child of man after all. He knows others are intimidated by him and he'll make use of it. Save for a few select others...
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yoohyeontual · 2 years
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The pills they gave me to help me sleep aren’t good at all, my mouth still hurt so I’m just sleepy without sleeping cause it hurts really bad 😭
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hysteria-things · 2 months
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hello again !! i know you just posted my last request but i have another idea !
• SMUTTY PLSZ
• matt/chris x teacher!reader
So basically, chris/matt are in senior year or any year in college and he has a teacher(reader) who's quite young and closer to their age but is still older and knowing men, she's already very popular in their school y'know y'know?
ALSO if you're gonna make the other students be a big part of the story too or add more plot, pls don't make the girls of the school hate her. it just feels unrealistic since in our school, it's mostly the girls that simp for the hot female teacher lmao
This idea was based on their video "truth or eat" i think(i forget everything) where he was asked if he's ever had a crush on a teacher and he answered yes w no hesitation and also the song "Teacher's Pet" by Melanie Martinez but switched genders.
i just think the male being the teacher and the female being the student felt overused/overdone(?)
Only if you're comfortable w this idea tho !!
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TEACHER'S PET (part one)
read part two here
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dom!matt x teacher!reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: matt asks for extra help after class (even though he knows exactly what he’s doing)
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUTTY, swearing, making out, oral (male receiving), throat fucking, p in v, unprotected sex (nuh uh!), degradation, cheating (cheat on tests, not people), hair pulling, spanking, breeding, ROUGH
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,236
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: shoutout any of you in college i dropped out after a month i give you guys so much credit that shit’s hard😔
for @skadltmf :)
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matt and his college friends sit at the round table in the food court. they’re at the home stretch of senior year with the spring semester starting tomorrow.
“i got that hot professor for one of my morning classes.” one of his friends brags. “she’s so fine.”
“who?” matt asks, and the two sitting with him stare at him like he should know this.
“professor l/n.” the other one starts. “literally everybody is obsessed with her. she’s only twenty-five; three years older than us.”
“there’s no way she doesn’t let students fuck her to get a good grade.” they both laugh, but matt stays quiet. his friends are in their conversation about you while matt thinks to himself.
he has you for a class too but at 6 PM.
you stand at the front of the class, teaching like a normal teacher should. half of the class never pays attention, anyway, but you still have to do your job.
they may not know, but you listen. you listen to what they say about you, and to be honest it boosts your ego.
one student in particular actually pays attention and takes notes, like what he’s doing right now. you couldn’t help but stare at him from time to time, and he’ll already be staring at you when you do.
you’re grading papers on your desk as your students work independently for the last fifteen minutes of class. you feel a presence, and you look up to see him there, fiddling with his worksheet.
you smile at him. “hello, matt. do you need help with something?”
“kind of. will i be able to stay after class?”
your phone lights up, and he glances at the lock screen. it’s a photo of you, your husband, and your son. “of course you can.”
he nods, going back to his seat.
the last fifteen minutes went by in a breeze, and all of the students left. except for one, of course.
you stand up and go over to the whiteboard, grabbing a marker just in case you need to explain something. “so, matt. what is it that you needed help with?”
“this question,” he says, stepping closer to you and pointing at the paper. you look at it confused because he already answered it. flawlessly.
“matt.” you chuckle. “you’ve got the problem right and showed your work perfectly. are you sure that’s the right one?”
his cheeks flush as he grabs your face, kissing you passionately. you pull away from his hold, weirdly sad that you did.
this is a first. you know the rumors that go around saying that you fuck students for an A+ but it’s not true. hell, you’ll lose your job.
he doesn’t say anything. he just stares at you, and you stare back. what you did next was a completely new person.
you go back in, his tongue inserting your mouth and swirling inside. this is so fucking wrong, but it feels so… right?
whining into the kiss, you move your hands down to his belt to unbuckle it. he chuckles, pulling away and pushing your head so you get on your knees.
he takes off his undergarments, revealing his—
your eyes widen. oh, god.
his red tip slides against your lips before you open, pushing himself into your wet mouth. “fuck.” he whispers.
grabbing onto your hair, he guides your head up and down his cock. he groans, leaning over and rutting his hips further into your mouth. your gagging fills the empty classroom, and spit starts to spill from your mouth.
it clicks in your head what you’re doing. you have a husband and child at home, for christ’s sake. you place your hands on his thighs and try to push your head back, but his grip is far too strong.
he slowly pulls out to watch his dick move past your lips, and slams back in. “take it, sweetheart. just like that.”
you keep gagging around him, your eyes becoming glassy as your mascara starts to smudge.
your lashes flutter each time he thrusts to the back of your throat before he stops. “s-shit.” he whimpers, but he doesn’t want to cum just yet. he closes his eyes to ignore the throbbing, pulling out of your sweet mouth. you cough, your lips swollen.
“bend over for me, yeah?” he smirks when you scramble to your feet. he grabs your waist, pushing your back so your stomach lays flat on your desk.
he lifts your skirt, moving your soaked underwear to the side. he wraps a finger around them and lets go, the elastic snapping against your core. you yelp at the sudden pain.
“such a slut.” he groans, inserting his tip into your folds but staying still. “letting one of your students shove his dick down your throat.”
he moves his tip out, but then puts it back in, thrusting it in and out teasingly. “bet you were thinking about this the whole lecture. i saw the way you were looking at me.”
you pathetically whine and nod. then, he grabs your hair so the upper half of your body is lifted from the wood. your hips dig into the edge of the desk as he starts entering you.
the stretch hurts, but it feels too good. your eyes flutter back, but a hand landing on your ass gets you out of your trance. he chuckles, taking the hand that’s not on your head and covering your mouth with it. “don’t be too loud, baby. don’t want the people outside that door knowing what a whore you are for me.”
he slides in deeper, a moan leaving your lips that’s muffled by his hand. he starts rutting his hips, going faster when you fit around him. “m-matt.” you gasp.
“so fucking tight around my cock.” he breathes out. your pleasurable cries and squelching of your pussy fill the room, along with his thighs slapping against your ass.
he removes his hand from your mouth, honestly forgetting that there are probably people around. all he’s focused on is pounding the daylights out of you. his teacher, mind you.
you grip the desk for support, moaning louder than any other time when his tip starts brushing against your cervix. “holy— shit.” you hoarsely scream, squeezing your eyes shut.
he lets go of your hair, your head immediately falling between your shoulders. “i’m gonna cum!” you warn, whimpering when he moves more mercilessly. both your thoughts and guts are getting scrambled at once.
“i wonder how disappointed your husband will be if he saw you like this.” he grunts and thrusts a few more times before continuing. “clenching around my dick, so badly wanting my cum inside you.”
you moan at his words. he feels so fucking good. you hate to admit it, but this is the best sex you’ve had in years.
“want me to fuck my baby inside you, you filthy whore?”
“y-yes, please,” you whine, repeating yourself over and over again.
you cum around him at the same time he stops deep, spreading your legs wider to finish inside. you moan one last time before becoming a rag doll, the bruises forming on your hips from them banging against the desk.
he moves your underwear back over your freshly bred pussy, kissing your shoulder and neck before whispering into your ear. “i’ll let you know when i need help again, professor l/n.”
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𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @idkhowtosleep @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog
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strniohoeee · 3 months
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Please? For me
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REQUEST: chris and nick catching matt and reader doing it and confronting them. they used to hate eachother but one night they finally figure out that they like eachother but they get caught
Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Why was y/n in Matt’s room entertaining him if she hated him so much? The world may never know…
Warning⚠️: SMUTTT, toxic ish?? Idek tbh. I hate this so proceed with caution 😔
Song for imagine: You Know I’m No Good- Any Winehouse
I cheated myself
Like I knew I would
I told you I was trouble
You know that I’m no good
If there’s a God out there please turn a blind eye to this. This seems like a poor judgment of character, but I have my reasons. We all fall to sin sometimes….don't we??
“Hellooooo bitchessss” I yell as I close the front door and walk up the stairs
“Why are you screaming?” Matt asks me coming out of his room with his headphones slung around his neck and his controller in his hand
“I wasn’t screaming just making my presence known” I said trotting into the kitchen area
“Trust me we know when you’re here” he said offering me a sarcastic smile
“Jerk…anyways I’m not here for you I’m here for your brothers” I said rolling my eyes at him
“They’re not home” he said in a duh tone
“Not home? They told me to come over” I said looking down at my phone and seeing no messages from Nick or Chris
“Well they decided to step out for a moment don’t know what to tell you” he said turning on his heels
“Thanks crabby pants” I said huffing at him
“Anytime connect 4” he said with malice on his tongue as he shut his door behind him
Flashback
Looking in the mirror as I pressed more powder onto my face.
“God damnit!” I shout throwing the powder and brush down
Rushing over to my bathroom and turning the light on, stomping over to the mirror and looking in the mirror. My face dropped in horror at the sight.
Four huge pimples on either side of my face just days before my 17th birthday. I was throwing a party and I invited pretty much the whole school and this one guy I had a crush on.
I could not make a move on him with these mountains on my face. I vigorously scrubbed the makeup off my face and went to school….red, in pain and embarrassed
Flashback Over
“What the fuck did you just call me?” I say walking to his door and barging in
“Woah! Knock” he says ripping the headset off
“What the hell did you just call me asshole” I said louder as I shoved his shoulder
“Relax it wasn’t that serious” he said shoving my hand away
Flashback
I stared in my bathroom mirror as my party went on. The huge pimples so painful and red I couldn’t even touch it, so even attempting to cover them was out of the question
Already getting weird looks and my crush sitting in my room made me a bit more nauseous. I tried my best to put on a strong suit and walk out. Smoothing out my pants as I inhaled and walked to my bedroom.
“Hey Stevie” I said strolling into my room
“Y/N! Hey! Oh and happy birthday” he said looking at me
“Thank you” I said smiling at him at him before sitting down next to him
“Awesome party by the way” he said awkwardly laughing
“Uhh thanks” I said too getting awkward
He went to open his mouth but my door busted open, to a very giggly Matt walking in.
“WOAHH my bad” he said before realizing it was me
“Matt get out” I said glaring him down
“Did I interrupt something?” He asked growing a smirk
“Get the fuck out” I said rolling my eyes
“Stevie? You and Y/N?” He said furrowing his brows and pointing between the both of us
“Oh nah man” he said laughing a bit
To enraged and embarrassed to even realize what Stevie had just said.
“Matt I said GET OUT” I blared out
“Not a problem and don’t think Stevie’s going to actually like you back I mean not when he can play connect 4 on your face” Matt said bluntly
My face dropped and my heart fell to my stomach. Anger and pain lurking inside me.
Stevie laughed before getting up, looking over his shoulder at me and giving a quick nod of his head and then walking out as he patted Matt on the shoulder.
“You’re such a dick” I said with a lump in my throat
“You’re not so innocent yourself sweetheart” he replied
“Is that all you do? Huh? Walk around ruining everything around you?” I said as tears ran down my face
“Get a grip would you…the world doesn’t revolve around Y/N” he said before slamming my door shut.
That was the last time I ever talked to Matt. My hatred grew for him as each day passed. Connect 4 became my new nickname for the last two years of high school.
Flashback Over
“Relax? Matt you ruined my life by calling me that” I said blinking at him
“Ruined your life? Please give me a break the world doesn’t stop just because you got your feelings hurt 4 years ago” he said throwing his controller down on his desk
“It may not seem like it to you, but you ruined my only chance with that one guy I liked a lot. That is why I hate you” I said crossing my arms over my chest
“You know why I hate you? Because you acted so untouchable throughout middle school and high school. Sweating you were all that and someone had to humble you and unfortunately for you that someone was me” he said shrugging his shoulders
“You taint everything around you, do you know that? You act all high and mighty like you’re untouchable now and guess it’s time for someone to humble you, and that someone will be me” I said with a straight face
“Is that so?” He said standing up and mocking my stance
“Yes it is” I said staring into his eyes
“I hate you” he said spitting his words like venom
“The feelings mutual pal” I said rolling my eyes
“God you’re such a bitch” he replied back
“Is that all you have? I’m a bitch, I’m stuck up, you hate me blah blah blah it’s always the same shit with you” I said motioning with my hands
“Shut up” he said shoving me back
“Don’t put your hands on” I said pushing him back
“Or what? Gonna cry and hate me some more?” He said taunting as he poked me
“I could punch you in the face right now” I said as my nostrils flared
“So then do it. One shot” he said tapping the side of his face
“What a fucking idiot” I said staring at him
“Come on hit me” he said pushing me
“Stop it” I said brushing his hands off
“No no you hate me so much then hit me” he replied pushing me some more
“I fucking said stop” I replied pushing him
I turned around to walk out when Matt grabbed my arm. Without thinking I turned and smacked him. Immediately regretting my choices
His eyes widened and he pushed me up against the wall
“God if I didn’t hate you so much I’d actually really think you’re pretty” he said breathing heavily
“Yeah and if you weren’t such a dick I’d actually think you’re hot” I said rolling my eyes at him
“Fuck I hate you” he said gritting his teeth together
“Do you hate me or do you hate the fact that I never picked you….did you hate that I always found someone better? Hmm?” I replied taunting him
“You wish” he spat back
“I know how you really feel that hatred is called jealousy” I said laughing at him
Matt’s eye twitched a bit as his breathing became heavy. His eyes darted from my lips back to my eyes when suddenly his lips crashed to mine.
Immediately the kiss became hungry….so sloppy and hot nothing but teeth and tongue. Fuck he was such a good kisser I hated this
Finally I shoved him off of me, breathing heavy as I stared him down
“What the fuck” I said wiping my mouth like I didn’t just enjoy what went on
“Does that answer your question?” He said his eyes dark and half lidded
“Fuck you” I spat at him
“I’m planning on it” he said with an evil smirk
Immediately I rushed over to him crashing our lips together again causing him to fall into his chair and I leaned down with him. Keeping our lips connected as his hands came up to caress my face.
Pulling away I looked down at Matt as I removed my sweater leaning back down to pepper kisses from his jawline down to his neck.
“Gonna suck my cock? Use that big mouth of yours for something good?” He asked as he looked down at me
“Why should I?” I said sinking down to my knees
“Please? For me” he said biting his lip as his breathing began to quicken
No matter how much I hated him or thought I hated him I could not deny the burning desire I currently had for this man. My body ached for him…it craved him and I needed to satisfy that hunger.
Removing my shirt as Matt did the same, our eyes locking the whole time.
I stuck my hands in the waistband of his pants sliding them down as he lifted his hips to help me out. His erection slapping his lower stomach as my thighs clenched.
“I guess you act the way you do since your dick is huge” I said looking up at him
“Shut up” he said offering a breathless laugh
I rolled my eyes at him before grabbing his dick. Swirling my tongue around the tip before sinking my head down.
His lower abdomen was tightening as his lower lip went in between his teeth. His right hand came to my scalp and grabbed at the roots.
“Fuck” he mummbled out, hissing as I came back up to the tip sucking on it gently
“Holy fucking baby” he moaned out throwing his head back
Bobbing my head up and down while my hand worked on what couldn’t fit into my mouth. Slurping and hollowing out my cheeks like there was no tomorrow
“Please please get up” he said moaning loudly
“I have to fuck you” he said before pulling me off of him
I stood before him, a man whom I hated yet I was undressing for him??
I slid my pants off before straddling his lap, the creak of his gaming chair scaring me a bit, but nonetheless continuing.
Matt removed my bra for me before attaching his lips to my left breast. Looking up at me through his lashes as I looked down. My lower lip in between my teeth and my hips mindlessly rocked against him
“Fuck Matt” I moaned out running my hands through his hair as he moved to my other breast
Kissing from my collar bones, to my breast and to the valley of my breast.
“When’s you get this tattoo” he asked me referring to the dagger in between my breasts
“About a year ago” I said as his hands massaged my breasts
“I like it wish you showed me when you got it” he said winking at me
“You pervert” I replied laughing
He smiled at me before connecting our lips together. Moving his hands to my ass massaging the skin before helping me grind down against him.
“Matt I need you now” I replied moaning at the feeling
Matt helped me up a bit by pushing my underwear to the side and lining himself up. Slowly helping me sink down on him.
Our mouths dropped at the feeling as I began to grind against him.
“I know this may seem like the wrong time to say this, but I never hated you. I hated that you never liked me” he said hissing as I began to slowly bounce on him
“You never gave me a chance to like you” I replied in a half moan
“I knew you’d never go for a guy like me that why I sabotaged you and Stevie” he replied kissing my shoulder
“I never went for you after that because I thought you were a douche, and you were” I said back
“I’m sorry about it” he said looking up at me
“It’s okay what’s done is done and look if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t be riding your dick right now, now would I?” I said biting my bottom lip and I began to grind down on him
“Fuck” he replied shutting his eyes before nodding his head
Matt helped me bounce up and down on his dick, breathy moans escaping our lips as the chair below us creaked.
Nicks POV
“Chris would you shut the door like you’re not even helping with bags” I say getting frustrated with my brother
“SORRY” he said laughing as he shut the door
We walked up the stairs and placed the bags on the living room floor.
“Where’s Y/N?” Chris asked
“Uhhh is she here?” I asked looking up from digging through one of my bags
“Yeah her purse is on the table” Chris said nodding at me
“Oh my god do you think she and Matt are actually getting along?” I asked Chris
“LETS GO SEE” he said getting excited
“Let me grab her gift I got her” I replied as I dug through the target back and pulled out the pillow I got her
We walked over to Matt’s room
I was bouncing on Matt’s dick as we held eye contact and our jaws slack as we began to get close to our orgasm.
“Fuck baby” I moaned out my hands grabbed at the back of his head
“I’m so cl-
Suddenly the door busted open
“OH MY GOD” Chris yelled
Matt and I stopped looking over at the bedroom door in utter shock
“Holy fuck there’s no way” Chris said frozen in shock
“SORRY” Nick yelled before slamming the door shut
Matt and I looked at each other in shock and embarrassment. The moment was totally ruined. We groaned and got up redressing ourselves before having to do the walk of shame.
We stepped out of Matt’s room and into the living room.
“I’m sorry guys” I said looking at Nick and Chris
“I’m actually scarred for life….my brother fucking my best friend and sworn nemesis” Nick said covering his eyes
“It’s not like that” Matt and I both said
“What’s it like then” Chris said laughing
“Well umm you see we talked it out and then one thing led to the next and then you guys showed up” Matt replied
“I mean I’m so happy you guys don’t hate each other, but I don’t know maybe next time lock the door, or don’t do that?” Nick said
“We’re sorry” I replied to Nick
“No it’s okay I’m just I’m just scarred is all…. I’m going to uhhh go sit in my room and attempt to burn this moment out of my brain” Nick said shuffling up the stairs
“I mean hey good for yall, so uhh I’ll leave you guys alone now and uhh I’ll call if I need you” Chris said awkwardly nodding at us before going down to his room
Matt and I turned to each other laughing about what just took place before heading back to his room. Where things eventually took place….
The End
I hopeee you guys liked this one. I hated it, not shocked. My writing is such ass lately but I’m trying to work on that 😭😭. Love yall and WERE AT 1,820 FOLLOWERS LIKE WHATTTTT🥹🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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