#I scribbled this at work it’s for a joke it’s ok hold on-

[humanmaybe]

Some person in a plague mask handed me this… very professional business card. Idk guys think this is legit?

#ajxgsjzg ignore #this is a joke it’s fine 😂 #I scribbled this at work it’s for a joke it’s ok hold on- #unreality #just in case

[icallhimjoey]

The Boy Is Mine (icallhimjoey's edition)

♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 

Summary: Joe has work and cancels plans but, you know what, you can just come over and help him out, can’t you? It's nerve-racking and embarrassing but, ok fine, you can come over and help him. CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, anxiety, we make fun of joe because he’s a dork, full fluff

Author’s note: i had fomo for @carolmunson’s the boy is mine writing exercise, so i just went ahead and gave it my own rpf spin. pls go and read all the other wonderful editions here!

Wordcount: 1.8K

“Okay, so, to set the scene,” Joe was being exceptionally theatrical tonight. He’d sat you down on the sofa and used the floorspace on the other side of the coffee table as his stage. It was all big arm gestures, and exaggerated faces, and big steps, and this was meant to be serious business.

It wasn’t.

You could tell Joe was a little nervous, which in turn made you a little nervous too.

You’ve had to suppress a smile ever since you walked in and couldn’t seem to stop giggling at things that usually wouldn’t even remotely tickle you, big ball of nerves.

“We’re in a trailer. Think, a big holiday park. Sort of dreary, it all looks the same, just, caravan after caravan after cara–”

“You’re talking to me like I’ve never been on holiday before.”

“Well for all I know you haven’t, Miss Workaholic. I’ve never seen you put down your work–”

You shut him up with a hit of a throw pillow to his face. Joe didn’t even flinch, just let it hit him square in the face and drop to the floor before giving you a blank stare for a second, all unimpressed.

Made you laugh. Again.

“Okay. So. Trailer park.” Joe made big eyes at you like a teacher would, directing you back to the task at hand. To why you were even there in the first place.

“Trailer park.” you repeated, sitting up a little, being a good student.

Joe frowned as his eyes had to focus on the script he was holding, turning a page and then flicking it back.

“Yes. Trailer park.” Joe confirmed absentmindedly.

He took another moment to seemingly find what he was looking for, eyes scanning before he reached up to pull his glasses from his hair. You sat pretty and waited.

Everything about the situation was objectively hilarious.

Joe had had to cancel on plans he’d made with you because of some changes in his schedule and now he had to learn lines at the speed of light meaning he couldn’t take you out for a drink. You didn’t mind – yes you did – and you’d casually said you could come over anyway. Help him out. Read lines with him.

“You’d do that?” He’d asked, carefully hopeful.

“Yea course!”

“And you’d like that?”

“As much as hanging out with you in general is a massive chore,” you’d joked. “It totally beats sitting at home by myself all night.”

And so you’d been invited over.

And now, Joe was nervous. He had just the one script, and handing it over to you meant that you’d see the little notes he’d taken. The scribbles and the arrows that pointed to more little notes, and for some parts even little sad or happy smiley faces. It would reveal a bunch of uncool shit about himself, not to mention the fact that Joe was breaking rules. None of this was meant for your eyes.

“Traiiii...” Joe was having a hard time finding what he was looking for and you started to grow impatient.

“I think we’ve got the location down.” you laughed, then suddenly your face dropped and turned faux serious. “Or, sorry, is this part of it? Of how you learn? Is that why it takes you fucking ages to–” you had to duck to the side as Joe threw the pillow you’d launched at his face earlier right back at you.

“If you don’t stop, we’re going to have a problem.”

Joe handed you the script, pointed from where you were going to read lines together, and then picked up a small notebook from the table.

He cleared his throat, gestured with a hand that meant, calm down, and then started the scene.

You read from the page, and Joe tried to do the scene from memory as much as he could, only occasionally glancing at look at his notes.

It took a few lines for you to actually calm down. To feel the jitters inside of your body slip away.

Joe was blushing still, though.

He’d never done this with you before, and he definitely felt silly, playing pretend with a pretty girl in his living room. But when you kind of started getting into it, found focus and fed him little words when he got stuck, it turned into actual acting.

You stayed seated on his sofa, eyes on the page, and Joe was all over the place. Pacing, using wild arms, facial expressions all over, repeating lines in different ways when they didn’t feel quite right after saying them the first time and... this was actually kind of fun.

And then props were introduced, but all wrong.

Joe needed to make a call, the script said, and he just grabbed the remote control of the TV as his pretend phone.

You stiffled a laugh, just about.

Then up next, he grabbed a nice crystal wine glass, held it out to you and it became more and more difficult to keep your giggles inside as you read ahead at what he was about to say.

“I ran out of nice cups, is this okay?”

You pretended you were handed something atrocious. Or, well, you tried to, at least. It was becoming very apparent who was the real actor in the room. When the script called for a bite of cake, something that would leave vanilla frosting on his face, Joe just perfectly mimed the action, and you were shocked at how you could see it.

There was nothing there.

But there was, though.

Wild.

Joe barely had to look at his own little notebook the longer you went, yet your stumbling and stuttering through lines increased as you read them aloud. It slowly shifted the anxiety from Joe over to you, and you didn’t like it one bit.

It felt silly, because Joe’s growing confidence didn’t have to mean that yours slowly withered, but, that was exactly what happened.

Joe noticed and in a bid to make you relax, he moved around the coffee table before sitting down on top of it, right in front of you.

“Here, take it back a little,” Joe folded a page back in the script that you were still holding, and pointed, his voice soft and gentle. “From here again.”

Joe had pointed at one of his own lines, so you kind of waited for him to start. But then he stayed silent, and when you flicked your eyes up at him, he was smiling.

“You’re holding the script. You lead.”

Oh. Yea, okay.

You went through the same bit of a scene again, this time with your knees touching his. Joe spoke in a much calmer voice, much lower this time around. The vibe shifted and now, it had you blushing.

Fucking adorable, Joe thought.

It made him want to grab hold of your face as you read. Press kisses all over your cheeks. The bridge of your nose. Your eyes.

There was not a chance in hell that Joe was going to actually get all his work done tonight, but if he was being honest, you’d already managed to do more than he’d expected beforehand.

You fucked up a line and went, “Wait, no... jesus,” and took a second to start over. When it was Joe’s turn to speak, he stayed silent again, and it made you look up at him, only to see him stare at you with the most lovesick grin you’d ever seen.

Disgusting. How dared he.

“Stop looking at me like that.” You knocked one of his knees with yours.

“I’m not looking at you like anything.” Joe said, not changing a single thing about the way he was staring at you.

You narrowed your eyes at him and had to try really hard to hide a smile.

“Are you... are you getting off on me not being very good at this?”

Joe laughed, said, “No, you’re amazing actually.” before he leant in a little, clearly going in for a kiss.

It had you moving back.

“Um...” you held a hand up before you jokingly scanned the page in front of you. Turned it to check the next one too. “There’s no kissing in this scene.”

“Um...” Joe copied you, and was quick to take the script from your hands, turning it around so he could get a look himself. “Yea there is, actually. Look.” Joe pointed at a random line, and before you could even get a proper look, he’d already flung it to the side and lurched forward to get his lips on yours.

You shrieked into it, trying to kiss Joe back just as much as you were trying to push him away.

Joe laughed, and so did you, and you were just pressing smiles together for a second, giggling right into Joe’s cackles. He had to hold your face in both of his hands to keep you close.

“Maybe,” you murmured around kisses, “This wasn’t the best idea. I’m clearly not helping.”

“Aw, don’t be like that. That’s not even true.”

Joe kissed you harder.

“Liar.”

“I’m not a liar.” Joe sat back and made a face. Looked like a real douchebag as he scrunched his eyebrows together and smirked. “I’m an actor.”

You laughed as Joe reached to pick up the script he’d thrown to the other side of the sofa. Folded the pages back and handed it back over to you.

“Okay. So.” he got up, clapped his hands together and walked back over to his spot in front of the TV, notebook now discarded on the sofa. He was going to try without it. “We’re in a trailer.”

You smiled at him as you watched him try his best to get back into the zone.

“Trailerpark.” you confirmed, trying your best to match Joe’s vibe.

Serious business.

You frowned as you started again, but you were quickly stopped.

“Wait, sorry. Wait. Just, I’ve got to... hang on,” Joe planted a knee onto the coffee table and leant all the way forward. His hands found both your knees and he moved until he got to steal one last quick kiss.

Okay, two.

Three.

Quick, a fourth. Maybe a fifth.

“Joe,” you giggled.

“What?” a sixth.

“I’m here to help you work!”

“Well, then,” seven. “Stop being so fucking cute!”

Joe got a few more in. An eight, ninth and a tenth, before he scrambled back up onto his feet.

Joe took a second to smile at you before he cleared his throat. “Right. Trailerpark.”

You smiled right back.

“Trailerpark.” the end

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @bylermaxmayfield, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma77645, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4, @hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @miserybeans, @munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

#Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn Fanfic #Joe Quinn fanfiction #Joseph Quinn Fanfic #Joseph Quinn Fanfiction #joe quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x y/n #icallhimjoey #the boy is mine

[ctitan98official]

@saphire-scribbles : Hello! So I had a little idea for a request, and was wondering if you were up for it! Basically my eyesight is pretty bad, and I usually never see readers with the same problem, so - how do you think Alcina and her daughters would adapt to y/n either being visually impaired or even blind? I can just imagine Alcina being overprotective and meybe the daughters trying and failing to be helpfull haha. Obviously no pressure, I'm just putting the idea out here. I live your writing BTW OK bye 🏃‍♀️

Awesome prompt, my friend. Representation is important (Even in fanfiction). I never like to generalize, but everyone’s experience is different so I decided to keep things from being too specific. Let’s get into it!

Alcina, being the overprotective motherly figure that she is, would go to great lengths to ensure your safety and well-being. She insists on having someone by your side constantly to guide you around the castle and make sure you don’t accidentally bump into anything (Even if you insist that you already know the castle’s layout just fine). Alcina might also try to modify the castle to make it more accessible for you, such as installing handrails or making sure there are less obstacles in the way. Her damn vases might have to go. Although, picking you up and carrying you places brings Alcina more comfort to know you are safe with her. Plus, more time with you. It’s a good solution for her anxiety.

The girls, on the other hand, try to be helpful, but usually end up being more of a hindrance. They offer to assist you in navigating the castle, but their lack of experience with visual impairments cause them to inadvertently give you more difficulties.

Bela is too cautious when she guides you. She moves at a very slow pace and constantly asks you if you need her to go slower.

Cass is too rough. She drags you places and doesn’t realize she’s going too fast.

Dani often settles for having you ride on her back as she flies you places. You don’t mind this. It’s fun.

Over time, they all learn how to best help you and how you prefer guidance, if at all. Alcina might even seek out more resources to help you, such as specialized equipment or training for her daughters on how to best assist you. Everyone becomes more knowledgeable and confident in their abilities to offer help if you want it.

Bela reads to you all the time. Her voice is calming, but also animated. The stories are very entertaining when she reads.

Dani cracks jokes and cuddles with you. It feels good to have her gentle weight next to you.

Cass lets you explore her weapons and hold them as you inspect them. The different textures and uses are so interesting. She could talk to you about them for hours and you wouldn’t be bored at all.

Alcina and the girls come together to create a supportive environment for you. They learn how to communicate more effectively with you, make necessary adjustments, and work as a team to ensure your safety and comfort.

Masterlist

#alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #re8 #re8 village #re8 lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitriscu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu x y/n #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x reader

[pinkandpurple360]

Pls tell your fizzablitz headcanons

Please please please

For whatever reason I’m feeling very angsty about them today. I have this whole idea of Fizz thinking he didn’t mean as much to Blitzø as he did to him.

Growing up, fizz felt like a bit of a dork. He was and still is very nerdy, when blitz came back from his theft hunt as a kid Fizz was the most excited by the books, and by the tiny piece of sparkling chandelier he gifted to fizz especially. It shimmers beautifully and it began his fixation with mirrors and how pretty they are.

The other kids didn’t like him much, they felt too inferior. They picked on him. But blitzo was too arrogant to feel that way, or maybe he had too much heart. Fizz started out way back then, wearing the patchy clothes while Blitzø wore the clean suit. Until he decided to let fizz wear it for good luck. He began by telling blitzos own jokes that he gave him, until eventually he became better at them. But he never understood why he stopped smiling back. He wanted B to be proud of him, he wanted to be on equal terms with the ringleaders son. He wanted to make enough money to stand next to him in their own circus, or run away together to do something else. B was his favourite person, his hero, his first kiss, his massive crush, his first…well you know, his first time. But he never felt good enough. He wasn’t sure if he was loved at the circus. Maybe the way mammon could love him. If he worked hard enough.

He still keeps the piece of mirror, and stares at it when he’s all alone. He keeps a heart shaped locket with Ozzies name on it, but inside, it’s not Ozzie, there’s a photo of him together with Blitzo on the other side. Fizz scribbled out his own face in shame. He’s dealt with “unrequited” love for Blitzø for so long, seeing him with someone else pisses him off more than anything. His whole love life and sex life pisses him off, he can’t stop ranting about it, and he doesn’t even know why he still thinks about it. For years all he did was talk about him, Asmodeus doesn’t know why either. At least not yet.

He was going to gift something to Blitzø one day, he had typed up a letter on his type writer, it was something poetic, sappy and embarrassing. A written out version of their dream. Asking blitz to choose him, stay next to him, hold his hand and hold him close. He calls him the star of the circus, and in Fizz’s eyes Blitz is his star too. The guiding kind. The loyal kind who helps you when you feel lost. But so far away. Only when he leaves the tent, he sees him with one of the girls at the circus, actually, it’s a much older woman, he’s holding her, the way he wants to be kissed by him, kissing her with fervour, the way he wants to be kissed, and it’s agony to see it. It hurts so much. But it shouldn’t, Blitzø has a different person on his arm every other week. Fizz isn’t his partner, he’s just the circus star. He leaves and doesn’t see B almost pass out after, from whatever it was she spiked his drink with. He screams at her to get the fuck away from him. Fizz burns his shitty childish letter.

He’s seen how Blitzø throws himself at other people, not understanding that cash sells him to any people in the crowd who desire him and want to own him for the day. Almost like the way cash tried to get fizz to do a private show for someone, maybe a birthday party? But it was just a single man in the room, sitting on a chair, asking him to dance. Weird. He blew him some balloons and played with the confetti. The guy was really tired at the end? But fizz did everything? And. For some reason, Blitzø was so angry about it. He hated the guy, but wasn’t that man just lonely?

Later, Mammon made him do a lot of these. The mystery became less apparent. At least they didn’t put their hands on the merchandise. Him. Because he hated that. Now, he had to stop looking behind him for Blitzø to be there, to tell him that it’s ok, that it’s safe, or when it’s not safe, and to get behind him. He will protect him from the creeps. But he’s gone, he left, he got sick of him, he wasn’t good enough for him, his tastes are more regal now. Maybe they always have been. Ever since he was little and went off with that strange kid client, his new playmate of the day. Fizz’s replacement. Maybe if that first show was more perfect, Blitzø wouldn’t have left him. Maybe if he just followed his lead and played pirates, he wouldn’t have left him. He has to let other people tell him what to do, stop fighting back so much. It’s not what people want. People don’t like that. Now that Asmodeus is here, he makes him laugh, he protects him..sometimes. But he never reacts fast enough. When he passed out at Ozzies, and woke up again, the first thing he saw was Blitzs back, again, leaving him, again, leaving him with that Prince. Whatever, he doesn’t actually care.

#helluva boss #blitzfizz #fizzarolli #angst #info dump #story dump

[goosewriting]

yesterday i finally watched the new tmnt movie!! at first i wanted to do a live reaction kinda thing, except that wouldn’t work because i'd have to reblog every entry and hiding every single part under a "read more" would be not only tedious, but i'm not even sure if it's possible lol

so instead have a collection of my thoughts here! (spoiler warning, duh)

first of all: the art style. there’s something strangely nostalgic about it. it feels like that is what my mental storyboards as a kid would have looked like, had i been into animating back then. or at least that would have been close to the style i would have liked to emulate.

the explosions looking like violent scribbles is just so 😩🤌♥ chef's kiss, truly. there's something about the art in general that just moves in such a particular way and holds a certain weight and volume,, it feels like cardboard and clay and crayons and the piles upon piles of coloured pencils i used to have as a kid and how the wooden pencil drawer smelled. i'm such a fan of this style i’M obsessed o(-<

in the intro shots for the turtles, raph licking his sai blades is so extra and i love him for that lmao

for some reason i completely forgot they cast jackie chan as splinter and tbh idk how to feel about it? no hate towards him; i just don't think voice acting is his strong suit

meanwhile i'm looooving mikey's voice. also leo's beacuse, well first of all, i am a leo girlie (gender neutral) through and through so i would have loved all aspects of him no matter what. but his voice actor is gumball's i believe? and that's one of my comfort shows 🥺 i just love him sm

this little donnie is sending me, i- 🤣

superfly's theme reminds me of miguel's for some reason? 😂 and i'm here for it ahahh

the whole watermelon scene lmaoo teeangers being teenagers, finally

aaaand here comes the probably forced romance subplot 😅😅 (more on that later)

the whole fighting scene in the workshop tinted in red? ugh 10/10

ok so, april: i really like how they met. i like her design, her voice and her whole vibe. the whole puking jokes were a little too much for me; personally im not a fan of fart or puke jokes because, well, i’m not a 12yo boy (looking at you seth rogen) but all in all i really liked this rendition of april. it sucks tho that the turtles got a snazzy outfit by the end, both for school and for prom, but april’s clothes always remained the same. would have loved to see what she wore to prom!

the gen z lingo and references: …i mean, i guess it makes sense? i just don’t know how well it will age xD the references to end game and all were fun but, again, will someone in 15 years understand what they meant? will someone in 15 years know what rizz is?

changing the topic, the way eyeballs are rendered??? hello?? they’re so expressive and shiny and i lowkey wanna lick them ok

the chris pine cutout actually made me choke on my food from both surprise and laughter jhdfkjashdf

oookay so. superfly and his gang. first of all when the gecko talked i went like hey is that ant-man? lmao i love all the designs and ice cube as the villain works?? im not mad?? lol now, his plan however... sigh, my guy. killing all humans aside, have you maybe thought that if you turn every single animal and insect into a mutant, the whole ecosystem would all but collapse? there will be no planet left to belittle the humans on (:

"he'll run out of cars eventually" / *looks at parking* / “oh, c’mon!” lmaoo 😂 this joke was excellent

so, back to the forced romance thing. look i get it, they needed a reason to help out april to get the plot going. and if leo said it, then the rest would follow. i get that. but throughout the whole movie, aside from like his brothers elbowing his side knowingly, there’s no more allusion to anything? and then only at the veeeery end, he asks her out and she says yes, so i was like “oh okay so that’s the payoff then. took long enough” but then when they’re dancing she rhetorically asks if they’re just doing this as friends and 😐 maybe this is just my aroace self projecting but,, if you’re gonna use romance/romantic interest as a catalyst (lame tbh), at least be consequent about it?? if you (the writers) didn’t have the intention to explore the relationship, then leave it altogether? again, this is just my aroace opinion,, i can’t relate so i don’t understand. (which i know seems contradictory given my uh, repertoire of fics lmao) personally i would have preferred a different reason for them to helping out april, and having them all just be besties by the end, which they ended up being anyway

so, to sum it all up. it’s a story we’ve seen a hundred times, so there was really nothing new to it. the plot was okay,, the biggest thing that “bothered” me was superfly’s whole extermination thing making no sense, technically. but other than that, my eyes and ears were having an absolute feast. a very enjoyable film all in all. when we got rottmnt, i was like “oh finally an iteration of the teenage mutant ninja turtles where they’re actually teenagers” but scratch that. mutant mayhem is the most teenager one, and i loved them for that. time will tell how the jokes will age but yeah, the way they were depicted was definitely my favourite thing about the film aside from the art style.

have you guys seen it? what are your thoughts? lemme know :D feel free to comment here or send in some asks!

#btw i 100% disappeared for a long time and then im dropping this and probably disappearing again #for which i am sorry #things are just kinda hectic rn #tmnt mutant mayhem #tmnt mm #goose honks

[ofmermaidstories]

Hi Mermie! I don't think I have ever sent an ask but I guess now is a good time as any. I actually found out about you from Andie (actually now that I think about it... I found a lot of wonderful writers through her) and lemme tell you BOY AM I GLAD I DID.

Your writing is like a box of chocolates :> whenever I see something new from you I don't know whether it's gonna be the sweetest thing I have ever read or if it's going to have me clutching my heart sobbing on the floor at 2 in the morning lol (casually side eyes the drabble you wrote about reader who can see the way ppl die- no joke I actually sat there on my couch for 10 minutes trying not to bawl my eyes out) Well but as if all that isn't just testament to what an amazing writer you are! I also LOVE LOVE LOVE your art! If I could eat it I think it would taste like strawberry wafers and marshmallow fluff. Oh shoot wait I was here for the game?! AHHH WAIT I AM SO SORRY FOR GETTING SIDETRACKED!

Ok wait lets see-

48. Who is your favorite character you have written for? Has this changed once you have started writing for the fandom?

I have a feeling it's bakugo but the way you write deku is so SCRUMPTIOUS.

49. What fic do you think is the best introduction of you as an author?

I am just really curious of how you answer this lol

69. What are your fave fics at the moment?

I just really wanted some good recs and I trust your taste!

72. What's your favorite writing compliment you have gotten?

Let's face it an amazing writer you must have gotten (well atleast you deserve) all the compliments in the world! I wanna know which one stuck with you. Also I am just petty I wanna one up that compliment and woo you~~~ <3

I am sorry oof I didn't think this ask would get this long. Regardless there is just one more thing... How... well is there a way you can send emoji's on laptop?? I really wanna send you that tulip bouquet emoji :(

Oh well I can't find it :< *sends you the most beautiful bouquet telepathically~*

lmaoooo, andie is very much incredibly generous, in that regard—uplifting other people. 🥹🌷 but hi castle! hi!! you’re very much like andie, i’m afraid—too sweet and entirely too generous with your kind words. 🫣 i am undeserving of the attention, but thank-you. 🥺 it means a lot, especially since i’ve seen you flitting about and spreading the excitement and the sunshine. ☀️ but okay let’s play. 😌

48. Who is your favorite character you have written for? Has this changed once you have started writing for the fandom?

lmao. bakugou is the love of my life, yes, but if i had to pick a favourite canon character to have written for, it’s izuku!! i think being the main character of My Hero gives him more to play with—which in turn makes him so much more satisfying. 🥹

if i had to pick a favourite character in general, though, to have written for—it’d be scribbles!

49. What fic do you think is the best introduction of you as an author?

oh, easy peasy. it’s surrender (whenever you’re ready).

i think it’s a fair representation of my style, and also does the hand-holding of gradually working up to those massive chapter lengths i tried to get away with in SJLT lmao. but more importantly, more than the one-shots i have sitting there on my ao3, it’s the introduction to what i guess is my biggest selling point: the serialisation and interconnectivity.

69. What are your fave fics at the moment?

i haven’t been reading much in the last year (mostly bc i’ve either preferred to stare at my wall and disassociate or crash hard into bed for five hour naps lmao) but the last fic i read that like, i consumed, was:

a blur of conquerors by her_black_tights

When Eren was ten, thirteen years felt like a long time. Most people he’d known died young, so he’d never expected to reach old age. But he’s in his ninth year of his term now. So is Mikasa. And he used to think he’d have something like forever to finally make sense of the way she’s weaved her way between his ribs, to learn the name of this particular brand of madness. But when he sees her skin knitting back together now, all he can think about is the day that it won’t.

Attack On Titan, Eremika, Marleyan Warriors AU, Explicit. it’s smut heavy; most of HBT’s fics are. HBT also writes a lot of daddy kink, and while it’s not apart of this fic, there is a dom/sub sensibility to their writing that does seem to influence HBT’s characterisation of Eren and Mikasa. i really enjoy their writing—when i found their fics i spent the whole day with them, completely useless for anything else. 🥹 but read your tags and remember to look after yourselves etc etc.

72. What's your favorite writing compliment you have gotten?

lmaooo, you’re cute castle. 🥹🌷 this one is hard tho because i think people underestimate the power even a handful of kind words have tbh. 🥺 all comments make me feel some kind of way (it’s not an excuse but it is why i get so bad at replying bc my brain basically keysmashes itself into knots at any hint of kindness), but i guess the most recent that have stuck out to me are a couple from the last chapter of the deku fic—from a couple of peeps who mentioned being surprised about seeing their own country or people in it. it meant a lot to me that it meant something to someone else, too. none of us live in isolation; we exist in a big world. and idk. it was just nice to be reminded of that. 🥺

don’t ever apologise for the excitement!!! it was fun. 🥺 thank-you for giving me something to mull over. 🥹 tbh with the emojis tho i just copy and paste from like emojiwiki or something lmaoooooo. but also, here, i drew u one instead—

#surveys and games oh my #castle i hope you are having nothing but an incredible week 🥹 happy new year 🌷

[mellowquint]

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog Liveblog!

Part 1; the Dining Car

OKAY WE'RE FINALLY DOING THIS READY, SET, LEGO (wait wrong fandom–)

So insert character is first time working for the train huh, okay cool cool

Oh god now i have to name them uhh (yes i will be referring to they/them, non-binary characters ftw)

… I went with Trainee (get it cuz uh train and yeah I'll see myself out)

Darling your scribbles are fine, better than mine actually

Trainee is a nervous train wreck *ba dum tss* yeah ok I'll stop making train jokes

Oh dang here comes the conductor. Apparently todays the conductor's last day after thirty two years.

OOHH THE TRAIN IS CALLED MIRAGE EXPRESS

I like how the sonic crew didn't forget about spagonia Jejdkddlfkkdkfk thought that was a one time thing

The menu only has 3 things, Why? lmao

Wait they're ALL MICROWAVE MEALS?? Can't they afford a chef? This is someone's speaking who has not gone onto these fancy train cars yet so forgive me

Oh fun tidbit the trains actually used for event's only.

"So I'll need you to do everything in your power to make sure our paying guests are well taken care of, understood?" Sir yes sir

AAAHHHHH AMYYYY SHE LOOKS SO ADORABLE WITH THE BIRTHDAY CAKE HEADBAND AND THE DRESS

HELP TAILS IN HIS DETECTIVE OUTFIT HE'S SO CUTEE

oh so it's Amy's birthday party!! Murder mystery theme eh? Someone's an Agatha Christie fan~~

ROUGE AND KNUCKLES YES also Rouge girl you just got on the train don't go stealing gift shop pens just yet lmao

"What cast of characters am i stuck with" OH SHOOT HE KNOWS 🤣

"Why can't i be normal for one second" you and me both Trainee

Also Sonic immediately bolting to get chilli dogs lmao, never change blue gumball dork

WHOOOO LOOKIT ALL OF THEM, ALSO HOLY MOLY BLAZE IS HERE TOO???? COOL COOL COOL 

EHH okay so now i collect the tickets, like a normal person, this wont be an embarrassing trip

"well the birthday discount certainly helped!" You and me both Amy

OH NEW LORE DROPPED, AMY'S A FAN OF TRUE CRIME PODCASTS!!! (I wonder if she would like the Magnus Archives…)

"Here's the key that unlocks any door in the train" hmm seems kinda sus, but oh well birthday girl gets the birthday key

and Blaze is here to grace us with her presence and elegance, reminding why I love her. Love how she just casually tells us that she's visiting from a separate dimension like it's nothing lmao

Sooo Blaze has sweet tooth cannon? Yes.

LMAO TRAINEE NO "Why can't i win in this group"

Rouge darling please give the conductor his money back it's to early to steal anyones lunch money 

Y'know it's a bit awkward knowing that Trainee just realised he's talking t The Sonic The Hedgehog, like my dude did you not know what he looks like? Either way Sonic's pretty chill

"I brought my own sparkle gelatin. It's a jelly that can melt away even the most jaded hearts" Tails imma need you stop being so cute and wholesome for ONE SECOND OKAY I CAN'T TAKE IT ✨🥺

Awww Trainee and Tails are jelly buddies!!!

"Thank goodness someone on this train is normal" buddy wait till you see the kid fly an airplane and can fly with his two tails lmao

Espio why you holding that rose who is it for 👀

DID ESPIO SERIOUSLY READ TRAINEES MIND?? (Edit he did in fact, something about his Ninjutsu or something)

"Can you cling into walls" "i most certainly can" okay just tell the conductor that, I'll now know where to find you then. In the air vents.

"Do you sell gift bags here" ….. shadow you didn't forget to bring Amy a present her birthday party right?

"Robot arm reminding me that one AI from Wall–E, hopefully we're not going to that route 

"Actually, uh Train, the conductor wants me to have the whole plate" lmao you ain't slick Trainee

Okayyy last but not least we have Vector, who does not in fact have his ticket, aanddd now we're supposed to find it

"I wonder what cake topper Sonic picked out for me" "...shoot, i was supposed to give Amy a cake… what am i supposed to do?" Ya done goofed you blue gumball dork

"You don't need to bow everytime you see me" sure Blaze it's not like i was stress responding. definitely.(seriously tho i love her dialogues)

Okay imma take a gamble and ask shadow if he sees any tickets 

"Only three items on the menu..? You don't even have drinks listed" THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING!!! Also we only have like three drinks too, water, coffee, and chaos cola

"I'll have to take you up on the coffee soon. Just the beans and A spoon, though" …… shadow um what??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BEANS AND A SPOON ONLY YOU HOT TOPIC WANNABE??? NOT EVEN WATER OR MILK???

I spent 5 minute hitting every random object where's the ticket – OH WAIT LEFT ARROW

NAPKIN IT'S IN THE NAPKIN

"Lost ticket added to you inventory" YES BUD LET'S GOO

Poor trainee has to double shift on being the microwave expert AND security guard smh, Trainee better has a good paycheck

I'm hoping up on here saying to PLEASE TELL ME WHO DID ALL THE SPRITES IN THE GAME THEY'RE ALL SO WONDERFUL AND EXPRESSIVE MY GOD 

…. Oh. OH!!  SO THAT'S WHY THEY'RE ALL WEARING SPECIFIC CLOTHES. Amy's you nerd she even got them all lore cards i love this girl

So Sonic's role is to be the ship captain. I do wonder why a ship captain of all roles since their in a train setting but ill take

AJDHKJHFKJSLKJFLKJFFKJLA I LOVE THIS SCENE

Oh shadows supposed to be a locksmith?.... I wasn't the only one who thought he was gonna be a barista stationed at the cafe right? My guy might have to dress a little bit more specific for a locksmith

and of course we;ve got our birthday girl as the journalist!

Sweet got a map of the train baby!! Alsooo the lounge looks suspiciously close to the conductor's car…

Well with that out of the way let's get started!!!

Oooohhhh ok cool cool cool got i

"This way there's always a neutral party" yes tails you go you smart cookie

Y'know it's very sweet of all of them to play along with the murder mystery roleplay. Everyone wish they have friends like that

Tails you adorable smart nugget how come you keep getting cuter and adorable by the minute 🥺✨

"My lore is that I'm a nosey person turned journalist" aww c'mon birthday girl don't bring yourself down lol

SUDDEN MYSTERIOUS SHAKE 

Oh wait it's just the train moving

Why is it even shaking THAT much???

Anndd screen goes dark, welp i guess that's it for the dining car scene for now

Aanndd that's all for part 1 hope you guys enjoy and see you guys around part 2!!

#the amount of times i have to switch back between two devices just to edit this one postvis unbelievable #part 2 will probably come a bit late as i try to wrestle the Tumblr app post editing #anyways hope this entertains you guys in a way #I may have spent the majority of the game just gasping for air that i keep forgetting too screenshot scenes lmao #and if there's any inconsistencies throughout the whole post no you didn't see that #eh whatever im having fun #sonic the hedgehog #sth #the murder of sonic the hedgehog #tags to add later #sonic

[i-siriusblk-padfoot-blog]

Humid Nights

Humid Nights

The night was humid and balmy. Well into the middle of summer in the Lemoyne swamp, this came as no surprise to you. There was no reprieve from the heat, even at night. The hairs on the nape of your neck clung to your damp skin, hands constantly battling against blood thirsty mosquitoes. You think it’s fair enough to say that you’re miserable. of course, no one would argue. The camp seemed to be in a stand still, the heat sucking any remaining energy out of its members. These past few days mostly consisted of lounging around under tents, wagons ,trees. Not even Mrs Grimshaw had the energy to reprimand the girls from lazying around and neglecting their chores.

Letting out a huff, you used the back of your wrist to brush away strands of hair sticking to your forehead. Hands submerging back into the bucket of lukewarm sudsy water that you were using to scrub the stubborn left over bits of food stuck on the pans from one of Pearsons stews.

Rinsing off the last dish, you dried off your pruney hands on your skirts. Standing, you stretched out your back and rolled your shoulders, grimacing as you felt the fabric of your dress stick to your damp skin. Letting out a sigh you look around the now quiet camp, well past midnight. All inhabitants in the camp have retired to their tents for the night. You offering to stay up and clean the dishes.

You made your way to your tent, smiling softly as you saw the dim glow of a lantern through the material. Ducking through the tents opening, your smile grew bigger at the sight that greeted you. Arthur lied propped up in your shared cot, linen sheets pooled around his bare waist. Head stuck in his journal, scribbling away. At the sound of your entrance, he looked up, bluey green eyes glittering against the light the dimly lit lantern allowed. “Finally” he murmured. Sticking his pencil in the bind of his journal, he flicked it shut and placed it on the crate off to the side.

Scoffing playfully, you move towards the makeshift vanity placed in the corner of your shared lean to. Hands starting to pull out the pins holding your long tresses up. “Not my fault that Pearsons stew is impossible to scrub off our cookware”. You say, fingers combing through your hair, untangling all the knots and tangles from the day. Arthur just comfortably watching you. “I swear the man puts cement in there or somthin” you joke. Arthur stretches his arms up behind his head, watching as you unbutton your dress until you’re in nothing but your thin lacy chemise.

“Don’t like you doin all that extra work” he replies. “specially in your condition”. You laugh, rolling your eyes good naturedly “in my condition?” you question. All you get is a grunt in return. After folding away your dress you turn your attention to the man in your bed, finally taking in the sight. He’s without his union suit, weather to hot for all those uneeded layers. His bare chest is on display, the hair there slightly matted from humidity. The muscles in his tanned arms more prominent from the way he has them crossed behind his head. He has his head tilted to the side, eyes half lided with sleep and……something else. You feel heat pool between your thighs. You move across the floor towards the cot just big enough for two people. Crawling up the bed, you move to straddle his lap. His hands instantly go to your thighs. Big, rough hands smoothing the soft skin there. “Need you to take it more easy, Don’t want anything to happen to the two of you” he murmurs. Hands smoothing up towards your stomach, where theres a small swell of life growing. “ok?” he demands softly but firmly. You smile softly, your chest tightening with love and affection for this beautiful man you get to call your husband. You slide your hands over his chest, up his neck, until your fingers are threading through his soft tawny locks. Thumbs gently sweeping over the stubble on his cheeks. “ok” you whisper. He gives a small nod, “good, now c’mere” he gives your waist a gentle tug, chin lifting in search of your lips. You giggle quietly, pressing your soft lips to his slightly chapped ones. Exchanging a series of short but sweet kisses that soon turn to heated when teeth gently nip at skin. Quickly followed by hot swipes of tongues to soothe the ache.

Arthurs lips leave yours to trail hot, wet, nipping kisses over your chin and down your neck. “Arthur” you moan quietly, huffing out quick puffs of breath as your fingers tighten in his hair. Holding him to your neck. Arthur grunts, sucking a bruising kiss into the hollow of your neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and gently guides you so that your back is lying comfortably on the mattress. He unbuttons the front of your chemise, sliding the delicate material down your shoulders and over your chest. You give a slight shiver, full breasts on display, Rosy pink nipples pebbling. Arthur gives an appreciative hum, hungry eyes racking over the display. He smooths both hands down until he’s got a handful in each hand, gently massaging the flesh. He continues kissing his way down your neck until he’s lathing his hot, wet tongue over a dusky pink nipple. You softly cry out, back arching and fingernails gently scratching his head. Arthur grunts around your nipple, only releasing it to do the same to the other one.

Arthur peels the rest of your chemise off your body until you’re completely bare to him. He grabs the backs of your thighs, bending them until your knees are touching your breasts. “Been wantin to taste this pretty lil pussy all week now” he practically growls out before sucking your clit into his hot mouth. Your back bows up at the suddenness of it “oh, fuck Arthur” you cry out quietly, still vaguely aware of your neighbours. He lathes his tongue over your bud, repeatedly flicking his tongue around your clit until he brings it back into his mouth and suckles, hard. “oh my god, yes yes. I’m gonna cum!” you pant. Hands fisting his hair. “c’mon sweetheart, want you to cum all over my face. C’mon girl” Arthur moans, lathering his tongue through your folds until your weeping. Slick dripping through your folds and down your cheeks and drenching the sheets underneath. “fuck, look at you. So wet for me.” He moans before moving his attention back to your clit and furiously working his tongue over it. “ I’m cumin, Arthur im cumin!” you moan out as wave of pleasure surge through you. Hips withering in his grasp until he finally lets up.

Arthur leans back on his heels, wiping his hand furtively over his mouse. His beard is covered in your release, its practically glistening in the lamp light. His hands go towards his pants where he shucks them down his hips. Your mouth nearly waters at the sight of his thick cock, the tip flushed red and dripping with pre cum. You whine and wrap your legs around his waist, eager to be filled. Arthur laughs cockily “Easy sweetheart, so eager for a nutha one huh?”. His hand grabs his member, teasing his tip between your dripping folds. He places the tip against your entrance and slowly slides in. “god dammit!” he snarls when he's fully seated inside you “Been way too long since I’ve been without this pussy”. You whine at the feeling of being filled and stretched out, your muscles clenching and unclenching around his cock happily. He starts up a quick pace, the sound of wet slapping skin filling the small tent along with rough grunt and soft throaty moans. “you nearly there, sweetheart?” Arthur questions without stopping his pace, jaw clenching and skin shining with perspiration…. He was beautiful. “my god yes, please” you moan out “please, I want you to cum in me”.

Arthur groans, pace quickening. “c’mon baby, want you to cum with me. Want you to cum with me so I can fill you up”. His thrusts start becoming more erratic now as his release approaches. “want me to fill you up huh?, have you dripping with my cum”. You nod your head, not able to form words as pleasure wracks your body in waves. Arthur soon follows after. You moan at the feeling of thick ropes of come spurting inside you. His softening cock slips out of you, cum dripping out of you. “fuck, I love you” Arthur pants, face flush and exhausted. You giggle and pull him down to you by his neck smothering his lips with yours. “I love you too”. You whisper in between kisses.

#rdr2 arthur #arthur morgan x reader #red dead redemption fanfiction #smut

[jamiesfootball]

2, 11, and/or 30 for the ask game!

2. Favorite part of writing.

Aside from putting characters in situations, it's a dead tie between 'finding increasingly specific ways to describe something' and 'finding ways to sneak in jokes'.

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

Ooooh-OOOH. OH. Ok ok jot that down- what was that? Oh, okaaaay. Huh. That's a good start- what do you mean there's more? That's, no. No, I said we have other things that we're working on- okay, no, you're right that is a really good idea and it would be emotionally satisfying, Alright, I'll jot this down, but then we're definitely writing it this time, ok? We are going to focus, we will not leave another project unfinished- where are you going?

It's like that. But here's a more coherent answer.

Step 1- I have an idea. Perhaps it's a scene. Something I would like to see happen, out of pure need or a spiteful malaise from not seeing it happen, whichever.

Ex: I saw Mom City and the Finale and decided I hated what they did with Jamie's dad. I thought up a scene where Jamie and Roy talk about that.

Step 2- I spin the giant wheel in my brain. Without consulting me, it finds an unrelated topic. I then hold the first bit - the THING I want to write - up next to the second bit. I cross my eyes until I figure out what pattern exists between the two that my brain wants me to use.

Ex: The scene with Roy and Jamie talking about Jamie's dad + Roy going to therapy = There are two angry men in Jamie's life. Both of them have taken a step towards becoming better, but I only believe that one of them means it. Why?

Step 3- I start figuring out the whys. I think about which scenarios will strain the narrative. I find the uncomfy bits of dialogue that other authors skip over, and I make the characters talk about it at length until I figure out what the problem is. Slowly, a form comes together in the shape of a narrative. I usually have my climactic moments drafted from the start. I usually have a beginning. If I do not know the end, I find it soon enough. The rest I build with sticks. If dramatic moment one happens, what caused it? What tracks need laid to get me there. I sketch those in. Eventually, I have an outline.

Ex: The dissatisfaction from the end of season three becomes where the post season fic starts. The climactic bits breed out of the Roy Jamie conversation I began with. An ending takes shape- this is the final goal, the place I'd like my character to be. From there I work my way in, tying the moments together, until I can say 'yeah, that looks like a full story'.

Step 4- By exploring all of these scenarios and building a narrative architecture, a theme starts to emerge. I use that theme, and reflect it back on the vague bits I don't have written yet.

Ex: At this point I have realized that the entire impetus of the post-season fic is to stack ammo in the discussion of 'should Jamie's father be allowed back in his life?' The answer is no. What began as a simple comparison in step 2 has now become a multi-armed demon, fleshing out the motivations and backstories of every character it touches. The theme is family--born, found, and made--and so now every other character (Roy, Colin, Isaac, Sam, Keeley, Dani) has their family history being dragged into the light to serve as an example.

Step 5 - Legos. I have my outline (the sketch). I have my themes (the paint). Now I have to write it. Fuck. This step lasts forever.

Step 6 - I just keep trying. Because the story exists already, you know? It's not told, but it exists. I just have to keep putting in the work to make it into the physical world.

Step 7 - I print the things out and I scribble on them until I feel better. Then I take the scribbles, and I put them back into step 5.

Step 8 - Repeat steps 5-7 until you are out of legos. Then you are done, for now.

Step 9 - Walk around in a daze, feeling like you're about to cry. Keep repeating to people, "I can't believe it's over." It is never over. That feeling never truly goes away. You are forever surprised that you created something.

Step 10 - Become annoying to everyone you know by blogging about it online.

Ex: In progress

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

Oh, I have lots. Shameless self-plug though, everything I wrote about Moe on his quest to do spoken word poetry in chapter 1 of the post-season fic was a goddamn delight. Up to and including the Machiavelli quotes.

One of my other other favorite parts goes to Isaac in the epilogue. It is the bookend to Moe's poetry. I'm literally so excited about it.

Actually I take that back. I just realized I do have a favorite line, and it's a stupid one.

Right now my favorite line is a running joke, wherein I the author put in the placeholder '[whatever Higgins said]' into Roy's internal monologue about being a better person. This in regards to the scene in the finale where the Diamond Dogs talked about learning how to be better, not perfect. Higgins made some good points. I meant to go back and pull the quote from the episode. It was going to be in italics, the way you do when you're bringing back quotes into an internal monologue.

The only thing is I, uh. Did not do that. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that Roy, who got the gist of what Higgins was saying, maybe didn't necessarily jot down the exact phrasing in his head, the way he does with other lines (the ones that are detrimental to his emotional health and well being.) Also it made me laugh. So now it's just peppered in sometimes, when Roy is trying to be a better person.

'Whatever Higgins said.'

Like I said at the start- I love to sneak in a joke.

#ask game #delightful questions! #thank you!!! #ask box is always open #fic: oh god you're gonna get it (you have not been given love) #ted lasso #roy kent #jamie tartt #leslie higgins #fuck jamie’s dad

[softsnzstuff]

Doctor Eddie coming in sick, just diagnosing himself with a common cold and being sure to wear a mask + use hand sanitizer loads? Well, it was ok until he almost faints from his harsh sneezing. He still has a cold, but is now laying down in his office with Steve holding a wrapped ice pack to his head and tissues in hand, ready for the next fit. Steve was the first to offer to take care of him until he was able to go home even with Robin offering. Steve actually insisted, saying that he was less busy and “the man for the job”. Robin didn’t argue and just let the two future lovebirds bond.

Pairing with this ask:

Doctor Eddie coming into work with a messy cold but self diagnosing himself, saying he’s fine and not that bad.

***

If there’s one thing Robin loved about her job at Hawkins Medical, it was the friendly banter and chemistry between herself and her colleagues. They loved to playfully give each other shit for different things, making the day go by faster.

In the case of today, it was blessing Eddie. He’d come in with what sounded like the start of a bad cold and everyone could hear the muffled sneezes coming from his office.

Every time, like clockwork, Robin, Steve, and Nancy would all turn around and yell, “Bless you, Doctor Rockstar!!”

They knew it annoyed him to not be at his best - whether it be allergies or a headache or now a cold. A disgruntled and mumbled “thanks” was often all they got in return.

This running joke was the highlight of the morning, but after several hours, it was getting old and they were getting concerned.

“H’tsschiEW! ItschEW! … HNG’TschiEW!”

Robin turned around at her desk and called over her shoulder in harmony with Nancy and Steve, “Bless you, Doctor Rockstar!!”

Steve appeared at Robin’s desk holding an outpatient chart for her, “He sound like he’s getting worse to you?”

“Aww is Stevie worried about his special guy?” Robin teased.

Steve flipped her the bird, “Do you still have the thermometer gun from last years flu season? I’m gonna bite the bullet for us.”

“Mmm yeah I think so…” Robin rummaged through her desk drawers before opening a cabinet above her and pulling out the old forehead thermometer, “Good luck. He’s going to hate it.”

“Yeah I know.” Steve sighed, taking the thermometer with him as Robin swiveled around to face the patient waiting to be checked out at her window.

***

Eddie was sitting at his desk scribbling a note on a chart, tissues littering his desk.

“Knock knock.” Steve said as he entered.

The older man looked up, “Hey Steve. SnF What’s up?”

“Just wanted to check on you since-”

Eddie held up a finger to pause him as he ducked into his elbow, “HEH’shiEW! Isssh! TssCHEW!”

“-since you keep doing that…”

As Eddie blew his nose, Steve took a step forward and scanned his forehead with the thermometer. It beeped to let him know the reading was done.

“What are you doi’g??” Eddie asked.

Steve flipped the thermometer to show him, “It’s 99.8 Eds, you should go home.”

Eddie waved a hand dismissively, “Technically it’s not a fever unless it’s over 100.4, you know that. Plus I don’t get sick.”

Steve scoffed, “Okay.” He knew it wasn’t worth arguing. Eddie could be stubborn when he wanted to be, especially when it came to asking for help.

***

A few hours later, Eddie was regretting being so dismissive to Steve. His throat hurt, his head hurt, and he’d sneezed so many times in the last hour he felt dizzy.

He was finishing up with a patient, bringing the chart back to Steve’s desk where he was typing away with Nancy. Robin was leaning up against Steve’s desk asking about a work notice letter for a different patient.

“Here’s the next chhhaa chart- H’itsch! Issh! Tissssh! SnfSNFF”

“Bless you Doctor Ro-”

Eddie had one hand on Steve’s desk as he doubled over, breath hitching.

“H’tsCH! HMPtchEW! Heh- TSSSCHIEW!!”

“Jesus Christ Eddie-” Steve stood up placing a hand on the small of his back as Eddie tried to stand up straight, swaying a little on his feet. Black spots blurred his vision.

“Is he okay??” Robin asked Nancy, who had gone wide eyed with concern, taking a couple steps closer.

The older man’s eyes lolled as he went partially limp, Steve just barely grabbing hold of him before he crumpled to the floor.

“Shit.” Robin mumbled, not really sure what to do.

Steve was now kneeled on the floor, Eddie laying against his chest. Just as quickly as he’d gone down, his eyes fluttered open, darting around the room.

“What..?”

“Hey hey,” Steve placed a hand on his chest to calm him down, “You really just sneezed so much you fainted.”

“Here Eddie.” Nancy knelt down with a small paper cup of water for him to sip on.

Now that he was alert again, Robin and Steve exchanged a glance and laughed.

“Only you could pass out from sneezing, doc.” Robin smirked. “Can you stand? I can sit with you in your office.”

“It’s okay birdie, I got him. I’m less busy right now anyways, I think that chart he had was for you.” Steve nodded at the folder that barely made it to his desk.

“Okay! I’ll take care of it.” Robin took the chart and headed back to her desk.

Nancy helped Steve to haul Eddie off the ground and get him to his office chair. Nancy went to finish seeing the last couple of patients while Steve grabbed a bag of ice from the lunchroom freezer.

Eddie was sat with his head down by his knees, snuffling into a tissue. Steve pulled up a chair and sat next to him, holding the bag of ice to the back of his neck.

“How you doing Eds?” The younger man asked, leaning down to meet eyes with the doctor.

“Ngh… okay I guess.” He sat up and leaned a head against Steve’s shoulder. “You guys are never letting me live this down are you?”

Steve chuckled, “Never!”

#doctors office au #doctor!eddie #doctor!billy #nurse!steve #receptionist!robin #pa!nancy #fruity 4 #e/ddie m/unson #s/tranger t/hings #s/teve h/arrington #ask box #snzblr #kb writes #sickfic #anonymous #kb au’s

[polyghostfacehours]

Sooo, this was originally a B-Day fic for @thirsting4slashers that is months late lmaooo. But I finally finished it, sent them the personalized version, and she gave me permission to post it. I edited this and took out specific details so that it can be x Reader for you guys to enjoy <3.

To all my Randy lovers, enjoy!

---

They Could Never - Randy Meeks x F!Reader

TW: Smut. Possessiveness. Bullying. Brief Degradation. Billy and Stu ignoring boundaries and personal space. We kinda shit talk Billy and Stu in this lmao.

---

Randy felt like his teeth would shatter.

He was trying his best, he really was, to listen to the young girl asking him for some movie release dates, but his eyes couldn’t help but look past her curled hair to zero in on you.

He watched the smile pull at your lips at whatever undoubtedly stupid and likely offensive joke poured out of Stu’s mouth. He liked to imagine it was a strained smile, but he knows it isn’t; Knows that whatever quip came out of Stu’s bug-eyed ass was genuinely bringing out the laughter he himself was addicted to.

“- also, and sorry for going on and on, but if you could pull up when Lawn Dogs comes out too…?”

The voice felt like a blade being suddenly passed in front of his face, making Randy jump. He internally cursed, briefly forgetting he was currently at work, and didn’t need to be threatened to be fired by his manager again.

“Uuuuh, yeah, you got it. Hold on juuuust a second. Computer’s slower than a grandma made of molasses.”

He hears your laugh again, and he likes to imagine you somehow heard his lame little joke from across the store and found it funny. A small smile graces his features as information loads on the screen.

“May 15th. The Brits got it first though, so maybe you can find a pirat- I mean, yeah sorry, not for a while.” Randy sidetracks the sentence just as his manager walks in, but briefly scribbles something on some small paper before sliding it to the girl. It was the name of some website, one clearly meant for pirating, and Randy gives her a wink as she smiles back.

Another round of laughter, and Randy’s heart drops as he looks to where you are standing with Stu. Plus, a greasy addition.

Billy Loomis.

Randy didn’t hate Billy Loomis, at least not until recently. They had known each other for years, just like everyone in his little friend group had, besides you, the rather recent heart-throbbing addition. But Billy had been giving him bad vibes ever since his mom left. Okay well, actually ever since he started dating Sid about two years ago, but Randy wasn’t blind enough to realize that’s just his jealousy talking. What really set off his alarms was after Mrs. Loomis left.

Before that, Billy was ok. Dating his (former) dream girl, sure, but other than that he seemed to treat Sid well and, as much as it killed him, they had both seemed pretty happy. Until Billy’s mom left, and then Sid’s mom died, and now Randy has a chance that he didn’t even want anymore.

Because you came into the picture.

Billy and Sid will probably break up. Which makes Billy’s newfound friendliness with you all the more confounding and infuriating. Billy was distant to everyone outside his friend group and, because of what happened with his mom, he seemed closed off to even everyone in it nowadays too, except maybe Stu. But for the past couple of months, he and Stu had been getting closer and closer to you. He almost shit bricks the first time he had spied Billy smiling at you when you two were alone in the library. Not smirking, but an honest-to-god white-toothed, pretty boy smile that had Randy’s stomach churning as he watched from between the shelves.

For the second time that day, Randy gets startled out of his reverie. The clatter of VHS tapes and those new DVD discs that were starting to get popular, has his eyes snapping up at the three of you. Your eyes, bright and hypnotizing, had him almost smiling again, but when he sees Stu’s unnerving blues and Billy’s cold browns on either side of you, he immediately loses the urge.

“Hey Y/N! Stu…Billy.” Randy says as he begins scanning all the items, nearly scoffing at the selection.

‘Only horror movies again? Jesus, at least watch Star Wars too or something. Get another personality trait Loomis’

It was a hypocritical thought coming from him, he knows, but he can’t help being a little petty.

“Yup, that’ll be it! Oh, actually.” Your hand reaches below his view to the row of candy below, and you drop some Sno Caps and Sour Patch Kids onto the counter “These too, if you don’t mind.”

“Course I don’t. Always happy to-“ He feels his neck burn and nausea pitting in his stomach as Billy’s hand comes up and wraps around yours as you reach for you wallet. “…Serve.”

“I got it.” Is all Billy says to you as he fishes his wallet out of his back pocket with his free hand, all the while keeping his on yours, only letting go when he had to dig for some bills.

You look surprised, but thank Billy, earning a smirk from him. You miss the way he makes eye contact with Stu over your head, a clear indication that they’re plotting something, but Randy doesn’t miss it, and worry washes over him.

Billy and Stu teaming up to do something was always a bad idea. He learned this a long time ago, ever since the two had put some clear tape over his 5th grade English class door when he was running late, resulting in him barreling face first into it and almost falling over and cracking his head. The way Stu had howled and Billy had smirked confidently even with his stupid bowl cut back then, told Randy all he needed to know about the two.

It dawns on him that you were renting movies together with them. While they’re clearly plotting something. He squints at you before asking.

“You three gonna have a movie night?”

“Yeah.” You smile “Been planning for it for awhile.”

“Ever since she told me she never watched the Hellraiser movies.” Billy drawls lazily, eyes scanning the store casually before falling on a group of girls, giving them a once over that would be subtle to most people, but had Randy nearly rolling his eyes back into his skull. How Sid or you couldn’t tell that Billy couldn’t keep it in his pants was beyond him.

Billy’s eyes move back to Randy and he gives that smirk that he hates so much, before leaning casually on the counter “Thought we’d show her what a good time it is.”

Stu gives out a loud whoop, earning some dirty looks from customers, before slinging his lanky arm over your shoulder and letting his gross, dog-like tongue lol out of his mouth.

“Blood, guts, a thought-provoking humanist tale on the hubris of man. Maybe some tits. What could be better?”

Randy finishes ringing them up, a scoff leaving his lips.

“The first one is worth watching. The others, like all sequels, are trash. And it doesn’t have tits, nor is it a humanist tale, it’s post-modern at best. You want to find something humanist? Try-“

“Yeah, uh, don’t care nerd.” Stu says with a sharp grin and a little laughing hop. You elbow Stu’s side, getting an exaggerated ‘oof’ out of him, before turning back to Randy.

“I want to hear what this quote unquote “nerd” has to say.” You state, and Randy’s heart flutters. “Try what?”

“Well, you could- “

“It’s getting late, he can tell you later.”

Billy cuts in before anymore words are spoken, and both you and Randy frown before you look outside and realize it was getting dark. And you had 3 movies to get through.

“Damn. Sorry Randy. Gotta acquiesce there.” You exaggerate the ‘kwee’ part of acquiesce and it has a snort of endearment come out of both Randy and Billy at the same time. They both freeze and lock eyes, glaring at one another, almost challenging the other.

“Anyway, lets blow this place, my lady and sir.” Stu says as he makes his way to the door. Billy holds Randy’s glare in his for a moment, something unnerving flashing in his eyes that had Randy gulping, before turning to follow Stu, who was bowing cheesily as he held open the door for both you and Billy.

Randy didn’t like the way Billy grabbed your hand to pull you out. And if he had looked a little harder, he would’ve seen that you didn’t like it either.

---

Turns out, J.R.R Tolkien is an excellent tool to get a mind off of unrequited love. Randy laid in his bed; blue covers bunched at his feet as he read The Hobbit in an attempt to stop his thoughts from wandering to you.

He knew Billy and Stu wouldn’t try anything. They had girlfriends, and Randy was pretty sure they wouldn’t share with each other in that way. They weren’t that close. Right?

Still, the thought of you there, laughing at Stu’s jokes, pulling smiles out of Billy…letting them both get handsy with you. It made him angry. Angrier than he had ever felt when it came to Sidney.

What he felt for Sid and what he felt for you were two very different things. With Sid, it was a small crush, nostalgia-fueled and old in a comforting way. When he first realized her and Billy were having problems, he was ecstatic, not even thinking about how bad the situation probably made Sid feel. Maybe he liked the idea of dating or having sex with her, more than her herself. Because his feelings were so different when it came to you

With you it was intense. Less of a want and more of a need. You were, in simple terms, his type. Whenever you came over, the hours you spent talking and drinking cheap beer that made you both gag were hours he had burned and branded into his mind forever. Your laugh caught his attention without fail, and every time you let it out, his breath caught in his throat.

Back in high school, when graduation came around, he was crushed he couldn’t see anymore. Then you ended up in the same college as Randy and the others, and he couldn’t be happier. Seeing you every day, meeting up for coffees and lunches with the rest of the group. And seeing how you had grown in that time had Randy putting down his book and biting his lips.

You drove him wild. You were hot, and just the thought of you had Randy clenching his fists.

‘If she were here right now…if she’d let me I’d-‘

Images of you under him floods Randy’s thoughts, and he began to thumbs the edges of his T-shirt as he felt his cock stir.

His eyes scanned his room, and thoughts of fucking you on every surface had him groaning out loud. The desk, he could see himself bending you over the red wood, pushing everything off it and driving his cock into your soaked cunt. Pulling your arms back, he’d demand you to tell him who you belonged too, who you knew was the only one who could fuck you like this. And he’d hear you call his name in rapture, not Billy’s or Stu’s, over and over as he pounded in you.

‘O-or maybe…’

This bed. He could have you on your back, legs spread, and worshipping the soft folds of your pussy. He wanted more than anything to suck and lick your clit, finger you and put a vibrator to the sensitive bud and watch you come undone on his hand. He’d make sure to go for another round, or two, or three, until you were satisfied. He didn’t care how long or short it took, the thought of your juices dripping down his chin had his hands finally making his way towards his now throbbing cock.

Randy was a mess now, fingers gingerly wrapping around his length, and he swore he could almost hear your voice.

Wait. Fuck.

One pump in, and Randy’s eyes are shooting open. That was your voice, and after the brief panic and confusion wore off, his eyes fall to his curtain-covered windows. His ears strain and then he hears it again. A harsh whisper of ‘Randy’ coming from behind it.

“Shit.” Randy whispers to himself as he scrambles up, grabbing a sweater to tie around his waist to cover the pulsing erection in his sweatpants.

He moves the curtain away, and though he was sure he heard your voice, he was still surprised when he sees you standing there. You look exhausted, but otherwise fine, putting to rest any worries he has in the moment.

The click of the window opening has relief blossoming in your eyes, and you crawl through before turning to the confused man. Silence rings out, and Randy rubs the back of his head casually before giving a simple.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” You give a smirk, and Randy smiles back. The situation was awkward in a funny way, and after the night you had, you were more than thankful for it.

“Food? Drinks? Thai massage?” Randy quips before moving his bunched bed covers to be smoother so you can sit.

You give a stretch, and the little slice of skin that reveals itself as your shirt rides up reminds Randy of the current half-chub in his sweats. He gulps and takes a seat, making sure the arms of the sweater give nothing away.

“I’m good. Though that massage sounds great.”

You move to sit next to him, and its then when Randy speaks up.

“You okay? Bad movie night with Casafuckface and his lapdog?”

“Pffft! Hahaha! Yeah, guess you could say that. A little.” You reply with an easy smile, and Randy loses his.

“Wait I was joking. What do you mean? What’d they do?” Randy couldn’t help the anger rise in his voice at the thought of Billy and Stu pulling any shit on you. Even the idea of them pulling a small, but mean prank on you had his nails digging crescents into his palm.

“No! No they didn’t- I mean- they didn’t do anything. I just-“ You sigh. You have no idea where to even begin.

Randy could see the worry in your face, and the worst came to his mind.

“They didn’t-“

“No.” You turn to face him, dead seriousness in your eyes.

“They didn’t hurt me or force me to do anything. Really. It’s just…” You sigh, letting your arms give out and falling back on to the bed. You could smell Randy’s scent and it comforted you as you begin speaking your piece.

“They just made me a little uncomfortable. Stu touching me so much, and Billy flirting. It felt like fun and games before, but they have girlfriends, and they keep, I dunno...upping the ante?” You furrow your brows as you recall the way Stu had insisted on having your legs over his lap during the movie.

“It feels wrong now. And we were all just talking like normal, when Stu suggests putting in Cannibal Holocaust, which we were all like, yeah, sure, ok. But then the scene where the guy goes into the lake and has all those people pleasure him comes up, that it gets weird. We finish the movie and Stu keeps talking about how hot being in that situation would be? Mentions some kitschy horror flick he watched one time where 2 guys tag team a girl. Like just keeps talking about orgies and threesomes…especially threesomes.” Your eyes shift to Randy, and you almost laugh at the way his jaw slackened in shock.

“Yeeeeeah. And normally, when Stu acts weird Billy hits him and tells him to knock it off, but this time he didn’t. He just kinda…stared at me. Almost like he was trying gauge my reaction to Stu not-so-subtly talking about threesomes when there are conveniently three of us alone in a room. I pretended not to catch on, so nothing happened, and the rest of the night was fine but…I just felt uncomfortable. Needed to talk to someone about it. And I sure as hell can’t go to Sid and Tate about it.” You sigh. “Like, if they were single it wouldn’t be as big of a deal, but they have Sid and Tate, and I know Billy is having problems with Sid, but it’s still not right.” You shrug your shoulders.

Silence blankets the room again, and when you turn to Randy, you can practically see the blood vessels popping. A part of you, the part that’s head over heels for Randy, stirs, but you ignore it. You know Randy is in love with Sid. Still, seeing him so concerned for you set your heart a flutter. You could almost thank Billy and Stu for being horny creeps.

“Would you if they weren’t?”

“Huh?” You blink, and Randy’s eyes shift to yours.

“If they weren’t dating Sid and Tatum. Would you have taken up their offer for a threesome?”

Randy shifted a little closer, and you think you can see hope in his eyes, though you aren’t sure why.

“Uh, no. Billy and Stu are really fun as friends. But I’m not into them that way.” You bite your lip and lean towards Randy conspiratorially “Plus, something about them seems…off? Like, don’t tell them I said this, but I’m half sure one of them is gonna turn out to be, like, some sort of psycho. My money’s on Billy.” You wink playfully, only a little serious, choosing to rag on Billy a bit since you know Randy doesn’t like him much. Randy nods, his eyebrows stiffening as he leans in as well.

“I’m putting money on Stu. Billy’s a greasy ass momma’s boy with some, in my opinion, homo-repression issues, but Stu’s the goofball. And you never, under any circumstances, trust the goofball.”

This gets a laugh out of you, and Randy can’t help but chuckle.

“Oh my god you’re so right! No one would ever suspect Stu. It’d be perfect!” You wheeze out between laughs, Randy’s joining yours until you’re both laughing at the ridiculous thought that your two friends could become crazed killers one day.

Amongst the slowly dying down laughter, you lock eyes, and the smiles blooming on both your faces is unmistakable. You realize slowly that both of you were just staring at each other, and Randy clears his throat before speaking up again.

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay. But it’s good. That you don’t go gaga over them, especially Billy, like most girls do. He’s a walking, talking red flag.”

“Yeah, I saw how he stared at those girls in the video store. It’s part of the reason I wouldn’t really be cool dating him. I don’t trust him to not cheat on me. Not to shit-talk him or anything, he’s a cool guy to have as a friend, I just wouldn’t go there with him y’know? Kinda feel bad for Sid in that sense.”

Randy nods. “Yeah, same here. Out of curiosity though…is there anyone you would go there with?”

Pink overtakes your face almost immediately, and Randy’s stomach sinks. Of course there’d be someone who you’d like.

‘But if it isn’t Billy and/or Stu, then who?’

“Yeah. Yeah I do. And you? Er, well, dumb question. I know you like Sid.” Randy could’ve sworn he heard disappointment in your voice, and it makes him jump on the defensive before he can even think.

“Correction, I used to like Sid. I got over it in high school, senior year.”

“Oh yeah, isn’t that around the time I came to Woodsboro?” You smirk, and your voice is light and teasing, clearly not being serious. But you know deep inside you’re hoping that is the reason, and that Randy is in fact secretly in love with you.

“What?! No! I- uh I, just, y’know, got over it! Nothing to do with you!” Randy sputters, and for second time that night, he gets a vibe of disappointment from you. You frown, eyes turning down briefly, before correcting yourself.

“Y-yeah. ‘Course it isn’t me, just pulling your chain, man.”

And it fucking kills him. That he can’t just grab you by the shoulders and shake you and scream in your face how bad he has it for you. That he just doesn’t have the balls. He remembers one time, back when Billy first started dating Sidney, where Stu had teased him about it.

“You lost, not just cause our Billy-boy’s a hunk, but because you don’t have the balls to step up your game!” Stu had laughed out cruelly. “You’ll never get the girl, man. Billy does, because he goes after what he wants. I do, because I know I can get what I want. But you? C’mon nerd, get over it. Sidney and you wasn’t gonna happen anyway, Billy or no Billy.”

It was a memory Randy abhorred. There was no doubt that there was tension in the friend group, and that Stu and Billy in general were those kinds of subtly toxic friends he should’ve cut loose a while ago, but kept due to nostalgia and the few good times between the cruelty. But that conversation in particular? That shit stung. And it’s those words cutting into his brain that cause the next words to tumble out of Randy’s mouth.

“Just kidding. Yeah, it was you.”

His shoulders stiffen and you mirror him. Fuck. Fuck. He shouldn’t have just said it like that. He had no idea if you actually liked him, or if it was just the residuals of the nice-guy syndrome he had gotten rid of in high school convincing him you do. But either way he was fucked, so fucked, absolutely and totally-

‘Not fucked?’

He thinks as you move forward to crash your lips onto his.

It’s everything he had been hoping for, and then some. Randy wastes no time in cupping your face, and you wrap your arms around his waist to press your chests together. The feeling of you opening your mouth for his tongue has him groaning, and he can taste the mixture of buttery popcorn and chocolatey Sno Caps from your movie night.

That movie night. Where Billy and Stu overconfidently thought they could snag a gem like you, and you turned them down. The thought that you did that to them, whilst opening yourself up to him?

It had Randy moving to push you back until your back made contact with the bed. Your lips moved together, tongues flicking and rubbing against each other, and groaning into one another’s mouth until you needed air and parted. You both pant, looking into each other’s eyes, and you give him a sexy smirk that made Randy think his dick would explode.

“I’ve wanted you for forever. Billy and Stu can go bite it.”

Those words had something snapping Randy. And before you could say more, he laces his fingers through your hair, pulling your head back and latching his lips to your neck.

“Yeah they can.” He says between kisses, bites, and sucks. “Those losers really thought they could take you from me?” You moan as he gives a harsh suck. “Fuuuuck that. You’re mine Y/N. You got it?”

You nod. This is a side of Randy you never thought he’d have. But you find yourself loving the possessiveness. You lace your fingers in his hair as he goes to remove your shirt and bra. The minute they leave your form, he pauses. Staring at your chest in near reverence, as a small ‘fuck’ leaves his lips. Strong hands move up to grasp at your chest, feeling and watching your reactions as he pinches your nipples. Randy breaths a little harder before speaking.

“These are.” He lowers his mouth to one tit, circling his tongue along your nipple before his hot breath cascades over them. “Mine.”

The way Randy’s hot mouth covers your nipple has your back arching in ecstasy. You can feel yourself dripping down to your ass, and you press your thighs together to get some relief. He moves his mouth back and forth between your left and right, sucking and licking, and then biting, until you were practically quivering as you moaned. It felt like heaven, but you knew where you really wanted Randy.

“R-Randy.” He pops off your breasts before looking up at you. “P- please. I need you, down…there.”

Randy lets out a little huff, before returning to your breasts.

“Be patient. I wanna take my time making you feel good. Buuut if you really need something there…”

His hands remove your bottoms, and deft fingers make their way to your cunt, drawing a curse out from Randy.

He pulled back to look, and like your chest, he took a moment to appreciate the sight before speaking up.

“God. Billy and Stu could only dream of this.” You moan at that, and Randy moves his fingers through your folds gently, collecting wetness.

“Fuck. You really wanted me this bad? You should’ve told me sooner.” He growled out, before pinching and rubbing your clit in slow torturous circles before returning to your chest. You cried out, steadily building the pleasure as you close your eyes and soak in both the feeling and Randy’s dirty talk.

You loved this. You wanted more of this side of Randy. You loved the nerdy, passionate side of him. You liked his shyness. But to see he was so ready to take and give in the bedroom? How he called you his, whilst disparaging your pushy friends? It drove you wild.

You came once, twice on his fingers and then his tongue. Randy wouldn’t let up, refused to fuck you until you were a mess. It was an hour and a half in, and he still hadn’t gotten his cock near you. You needed to change that. So you put your hands on his shoulders and pushed, causing him to look up. His eyes were half-lidded, drunk on your cunt and ownership of you, and you give him the sweetest smile before speaking

“Randy, I need you to fuck me.”

Not a second later were you face down, ass up. You moan when Randy spits on your cunt, rubbing his achingly hard cock on your before teasing just his tip in. You look back at him, and groan in annoyance. But all Randy does is smile.

“You.” He slaps your ass, garnering a squeak “Are mine. Not that wet-rag Stu’s and definitely not that rat-face Billy.” He growls out. “If I ever see them trying shit with you again. I’ll pulverize them.” You give a playful smile at the tough guy act, and Randy catches it before shrugging and gripping your hips. “Or at the very least."

"I’ll put a shit ton of late fees on their accounts.”

You throw your head back as he shoves himself in, his cock immediately rubbing against that spongy ridge inside of you that had you seeing stars. Randy’s pace is quick immediately, uncharacteristic of his usual attempts to be cool, and he grips and kneads your flesh as he pulls you back to him as he thrusts forwards.

The weight of a hand grips the back of your neck and pushes down, your face rubbing against the bed and allowing you to smell him on his sheets.

“God. God! Y/N you’re so- ngh- ah, so gorgeous. You wouldn’t believe how fucking good you look. How tight you are.” Randy pants out, his eyes trained on you and nothing but you.

“Say it. Say your mine. Say Billy and Stu can go fuck themselves. Tell me you’re never letting anyone but me touch you.”

“Yes! Fuuuck Randy I’m yours! I’m all yours! Billy and Stu are trash, and they could never compete with your cock!”

“Of course they can’t Not when you’re – ah – my personal, little, fuck toy.”

The steady build comes to a head the moment you start rubbing your clit at his words, pushing you over the edge just as Randy hits that spot inside you that had pleasure thrumming through you, and you scream his name in rapture. The way you push and pull around him, milking him for all he’s worth has him doing the same, cumming with a groan of your name, before collapsing onto you.

Your back and his chest were pressed together, sweat slicking you both, and you couldn’t care less. This is what you had wanted. Had craved. Billy and Stu were cute, sure, and it was flattering that they wanted you to be a part of…whatever it was they clearly had going on behind their girlfriends’ backs, but still. Randy was the whole package. Cute, nerdy, not a cheater, never gives off any bad vibes. Bad boys had their appeal as a teen, but as an adult what you really wanted was someone you could relax around and be yourself with.

‘Billy and Stu really did peak in high school.’ You thought in amusement, almost feeling bad for them. The weight of Randy rolling off of you brought you out of your thoughts, and you turn you head to look at his tired face. He looks back and smiles.

“Soooo. Does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?”

You laugh, taking the throw pillow and playfully hitting him with it.

“Yes, you fucking nerd.”

#randy meeks #randy meeks x reader #scream 1996 #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #except those last two tags dont come to be #bc randy wins suckas

[hermit-god-au-pog]

[OLD AND MAY BECOME NON-CANON LATER ON]

    Bet you didn't expect me huh! I'm here with an actual short story!

    Before we start I’d like to thank @doctorsiren, @sweetest-honeybee, and @mjlor-chan for letting me use their persona’s in this au! Once I start getting more stories written, I shall try and add them in where I can!

    I just wanted to say I tried my best to make {No-Name-Reporter} as gender-less and species-less as possible! So you decide what they are! And I reread this 2 times after finishing but there probably still mistakes, so I apologize in advance for that!

    If the ones I tag actually read this, I hope I did you all justice haha. If you want a further look on what this au is about just look here-actually, its a pretty good overview.

    Long story sort, The hermits are gods, and no one besides them and their Ambassadors&Advertisers know this. And in this short story, a pretty rude reporter interviews each A&A team!

    If I need to add any trigger warnings please tell me! As well if anyone wants to be on a taglist. Without further-a-do, lets get into the story!

What’s happening you may ask? Well, I, {No-Name-Reporter} am going to interview each of the Hermit’s Ambassadors and Advertisers! Now, we have 3 categories to get through.

1st, The Ambassador and advertiser mix! In this category, we have 4 Mr.’s and a he/they; -Elybeatmaker, JCtheFluteman, Jono, ThePooka, and Gideon21. They will be who I’m talking to first.

2nd, The Ambassadors! This bunch is a group of 4 men, from what we’ve gathered; PixlRiffs, Zloyxp, Skizz, and Solidarity.

3rd and final, The Advertisers! This group includes a she/they, and 2 lovely gals] ; Doctor Siren, Sweetest-HoneyBee, Mjlor-Chan.

Now, with all their names and job titles out of the way, Let’s get to the interviews, shall we? I have 7 questions for each title and person to get through.

--The Ambassador&Advertiser Mix--

Laughing and joking around with each other, playfully shoving one another, the group of 5 walked into the sectioned-off park area the reported had reserved. They all sat down in the seats across from the reporter that was already there. {No-Name-Reporter} opened their journal and cleared their throat to get the A&A’s attentions.

“Now, I thank you all for agreeing to come. I am {No-Name-Reporter}, here to ask you about you and your jobs, what it’s like working under the Hermits. If it is ok with you all, I’d like to begin” With nods and agreements from the 5 guests, {No-Name-Reporter} gave a curt nod. Turning on their recording device and clicking their pen, they look at the 5.

“Question number 1, What are your names and titles?” Holding the recording device in the direction of the other 5, the reporter waited patiently.

“My name is ElyBeatmaker, Ely for short, I think I’m the most recognizable member of the Ambassadors&Advertizers team, also known as the A&A team. My pronouns are he/him”

“My name is JCTheFluteMan, JC for short. I’m often working most with Ely over here. My pronouns are He/Him.”

“My name is JonoSmithers! Jono for short, I’m actually Rendogs brother, but I don’t give him too much special treatment, don’t worry” Jono gave a Lil wink even though the audio couldn’t catch it. “My pronouns are He/Him”

“I’m Th3Pooka! Pooka for short, I’m the newest to the group so I’m still figuring out my place. He/Him pronouns!”

“And I’m Gideon21! Gideon for short, I’ve collabed the most with JC but tend to do my own thing. He/They pronouns.”

“Wonderful,” {No-Name-Reporter} started, scribbling down some notes. “Next question, What are your jobs responsibilities?” Looking back up {No-Name-Reporter} waited patiently. The 5 looked between each other, deciding who should respond.

“Well,” Ely started up “Our job has a lot” The others nodded.

“While we all do different things, the main objectives are that we help the Hermits advertise the server and their vlogs. On the ambassador part, we’ll typically do interviews like this or tag along to events and such if the strictly Ambassador team needs extra hands.” Gideon finished.

“Typically I’ll do thumbnails or little animations for the Hermits” Pooka added on.

“And we make and commission music for the Hermits” Jono, JC, and Ely said in unison. Nodding as they talked, {No-Name-Reporter} made sure to take some more notes and asked the next question without looking up.

“Two questions next, Who is in charge? Of you and your job, and what can we expect next?” A few gave a few playful eye rolls and shakes of their heads.

“Xisuma manages out paychecks” Ely stated plainly and with no room to question much.

“But between the A&A team, we don’t have a boss really, we all communicate and work things out. On paper the ‘director’ is Ely but he is not our boss” Gideon butts in after Ely, the other three nodding at the two in agreement.

“What you can expect next though, From me probably a lot more animations for the Hermits, and some of me and the Team” Pooka spoke excitedly, his tail swishing slightly.

“And for the musical peeps, we got commissions were looking into, and making music of our own” JC finished up this section, the 5 of them seem satisfied with what they’ve said. As {No-Name-Reporter} acted like they were about to ask more about that subject Jono quickly cut in.

“Next question please” Narrowing his eyes Jono raised an eyebrow, as to dare the reporter to challenge him. The reported just nodded and cleared their throat.

“Ok, ok, next question then, Can we, the public, talk to the Hermits-”

“Only if they agree to it specifically” Ely immediately interrupted.

“We’re not the people to ask for that, ask them. Next question please” JC finished. {No-Name-Reporter} seemed a bit taken aback and flushed by the response, but fixing their tie, they nod a bit and huff.

“How did you each get this job? Are you qualified enough?” The 5 stay quiet for a minute and look at the interviewer, they knew the questions were preplanned but that seemed a bit harsh.

“Well,” Gideon started. “For our own reasons, we were each approached by a Hermit and or Xisuma individually, whether in public or by email. Shortly after an interview was conducted and we got the job, as you can see by us sitting here.” Gideon made sure to keep it vague, smirking as it seemed to annoy the interviewer.

“As to if we’re qualified, do you really think the hermits would hire us if we weren’t? In order to hire someone, every single hermit has to agree to it. Even with the siblings on the teams, they had to go through the same process” Jono added on, crossing his arms and tilting his head.

“Each Hermit sampled our products and looked at our backgrounds, if they did not want us, we would not be here.” Pooka huffed out.

“Next question” JC and Ely said in unison, leaving no room for argument. {No-Name-Reporter} rolled their eyes and grit their teeth but gave them a smile.

“Final question, Have you ever lied or stretched the truth when asked about who the Hermits are and what they do?” JC put a hand on Jono’s shoulder, Gideon putting an arm in front of Pooka, to keep the two sitting down, they let Ely speak.

“First off, that is very rude, preplanned or not the way you have set this up is very distasteful” Ely spoke calmly. “To answer the question, No. We say what we know and don’t spill secrets. Everyone has secrets, just like you do, at least we would respect that.” The five of them got up, and as they started walking away Ely stayed for a moment.

“The A&A team is done with this interview, and we hope you have a good day, please refrain from asking for additional interviews. The A&A’s answer will most likely be a no” With that Ely followed his friends out, and {No-Name-Reporter} turned off the recorded. Letting out a frustrated sigh, they mutter;

“Let’s hope the Ambassadors will be easier to get through.”

--The Ambassadors--

The Ambassadors entered more calmly than the A&A did. Walking in, calmly talking to each other, cracking jokes here and there, they sat down in their designated seats. 2 out of 4 of them tried to look at least a little presentable as they sat down, while the other two relaxed casually into their seats, but not like they were relaxing at home. {No-Name-Reporter} gave the 4 of them a smile, flipping to a blank page in their notebook.

“Welcome, and thank you 4 for agreeing to come. I am {No-Name-Reporter}, and I’m here to ask you about you and your jobs, what it’s like working under the Hermits. If it is ok with you all, I’d like to begin” The 4 of them agreed without too much fuss, so with a click of a pen and a push of a button to turn on the recorder, {No-Name-Reporter} cleared their throat.

“Question number 1, What are your names and titles?”

“My name is PixlRiffs, Pixl for short, I am the announcer for HermitRecap and tend to be the main speaker of the 4 of us. My pronouns are He/Him” Pixl was quick to speak, almost like clockwork.

“ ‘M Zloyxp, just Zloy, please. I’m the other member of HermitRecap, Me and my buddy pixl tend to be the go-to for Ambassador work. He/Him pronouns” Zloy was one of the two to sit in the chair, relaxed as can be.

“The names Skizzleman! Most call me Skizz. I’m closest to team ZIT and impulse, but I do my part as an ambassador for the hermits.  He/Him pronouns” He was the other Ambassador who sat in a relaxed state.

“Uh, hey! I- My name is Solidarity, I go by that and Jimmy. I am actually Mumbo’s brother, no I’m not good at Redstone. I’m new to the team but excited to be here. He/Him pronouns!” He seemed to be a bit nervous, the reporter liked this. Giving a pleasant smile, {No-Name-Reporter} tapped the pen against their journal, watching Jimmy’s reaction carefully.

“Wonderful, thank you all, next question. What are your jobs responsibilities?” Jimmy and Skizz take a quick glance at Pixl and Zloy, Pixl speaking up first.

“As Ambassadors to the Hermitcraft server, we often take care of the behind-the-scenes work when the hermits cant. Such as meetings, event planning, member tallies, recaps of what’s going on in the server, and making sure their image is not wrongly portrayed.” Pixl spoke calmly, and kept his expression neutral as if he was trained for this kind of situation.

“Right, now Pixl and I do most of the work since the other two are newer, but we all have our own roles within the Ambassador title. Next question please” Zloy seemed to get a bit more defensive, making the reporter raise an eyebrow.

“Ok, well then, next question I suppose” {No-Name-Reporter} looked at Zloy for a prolonged second before glancing to the rest of them. ”Two questions next actually, Who is in charge? Of you and your job, and what can we expect next?”

“Well Xisuma handles our paychecks” Zloy responded with a bit of snark, giving the interviewed a toothy smirk. Pixl rolled his eyes but hid a smile.

“As for who is ‘in charge’ of the operations” Pixl used his fingers to do quotation marks “Typically Zloy and I take the lead since we have more experience. But on paper, I am technically the lead man. But none of us think that per se” Pixl crossed his legs and sat back in his seat. “We, like the hermits, are very kind and cooperative people. We communicate constantly and keep an eye on one another” Pixel added on with a sickly sweet tone. Zloy gave the reported a look as if to dare to say something snarky or rude to them.

“Ah! As to what you can expect next!” Skizz clapped, seeming to either ignore the tense air or be oblivious to it. “We’re talking with the hermits about the new Minigame that’s been created by NoxCrew and Mr.Scott Smajor, a few of the hermits might be interested. As well as a more, tense little ‘mini game’ server is in the works. I can’t spoil too much behind it, but it’s going to be FILLED with action” Jimmy seemed to get excited as the two things were announced.

“Besides the hermits, some of us Ambassadors and Advertisers Might actually be participating as well” Skizz nodded and gave Jimmy a smile, glad to see him calm down a bit. {No-Name-Reporter} nodded as they quickly wrote all this down, happy to finally get some new news from these guys. ‘About fucking time’ they thought to themselves.

“Ok, next question, Can we, the public, talk to the Hermits?” Skizz and Jimmy instantly looked uncomfortable and Zloy let out a heavy annoyed sigh.

“With all due respect, we’ve tried to tell the public this many times” Pixl started, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward a bit. “The hermits are pretty private people, most of them at least. And unless they announce it themselves, no, the general public usually cannot personally talk to the hermits. And we Ambassadors ask for everyone to respect the Hermits boundaries in that way” {No-Name-Reporter} sat back a bit, caught off guard by Pixl’s intensity, muttering a soft almost silent ‘rude’ to themselves. Clearing their throat they flipped to a clean page in their journal.

“Ok, next two questions. How did you each get this job? Are you qualified enough?” Zloy let out a soft growl, not caught by the recording device thankfully. He bared his sharp teeth at this reporter, the way the questions were asked striking a small nerve. Pixl even felt his eye twitch a bit. Jimmy was actually the first to speak up.

“Well, The hermits have a very long and extensive hiring process. After getting everyone to agree to a player, they have to do an extensive background check and a couple of interviews before you can get the job” Skizz nods and glanced over at the recap.

“Zloy and Pixl have been doing this almost as long as the server has been online. They’re probably some of the most qualified people out there, and that’s actually quite a rude statement to ask us. We are ambassadors to the server, we would not be here if we didn’t have the skills necessary. I’m sure the hermits and the public would agree with us on that.” Skizz gave a soft sigh.

“Next question please, I’m sure none of us are comfortable enough to continue this conversation.“ The other three nod in agreement with Skizz’s statement. {No-Name-Reporter} only gave a curt nod and looks back at their notes.

“Ok then. Final question, Have you ever lied or stretched the truth when asked about who the Hermits are and what they do?” Zloy quickly stood, knocking over his chair. Pixl stood a bit calmer and put a hand on Zloys chest. Pixl, not taking his eyes off his friend spoke.

“We choose not to answer this question. And after today, we safely say we will no longer take interview requests from your company. After your interviews with the Advertisers, please never come back.” With that Pixl lead an upset Zloy out of the park. 

Skizz stood, helping Jimmy up. “Thank you for the interview and we hope you got answers you were happy with. Have a good day” Skizz spoke, not looking at the interviewer. After {No-Name-Reporter} shut off the recorder Jimmy looks at them.

“Just as a warning, if hermits are to catch word of this rude behavior, they won’t be the happiest. So when you edit that, make sure to make yourself sound a bit nicer and less...sleazy” With that, the final 2 ambassadors left the park.

--The Advertisers--

The 3 of them walk into the park almost silently, {No-Name-Reporter} almost missed them. As the 3 sat down, One gave a smile and wave.

“Hey there, Thanks for inviting us along!” The Bee hybrid spoke cheerfully, The dragon hybrid gave a small noise of agreement as the Demon like one gave a small nod. While The Bee and dragon Hybrid sat straight up, hands in their laps, the Demon-like hybrid sat back, arms crossed across their chest, not looking unpleasant but not looking ecstatic to be here. {No-Name-Reporter} gave a slight cough.

“Yes, Thank you three for coming! I’m {No-Name-Reporter}, I’m here to ask you about you and your jobs, what it’s like working under the Hermits. If it is ok with you all, I’d like to begin” With agreement from the 3 gals, {No-Name-Reporter} turns on the recorder and clicks their pen open, looking at the 3 in front of them.

“Question number 1, What are your names and titles?”

“My name is Sweetest-Honeybee, You can call me Bee. I’m typically doing most of the public work and deals, while also doing a lot of the animation for the team! She/They please.”

“My name’s Doctor-Siren! Shortened to Siren usually. While I also do a lot of public stuff, not as much as Bee. I typically like to make the character designs and manage the plans of all our projects going on! She/Her pronouns please.”

“And I’m Mjlor-Chan. Mjlor for short. I typically do storyboards and do the final rundown of the projects before they’re released. As well as dealing with complaints and follow-ups usually. I use she/her pronouns” {No-Name-Reporter} nods, writing everything down.

“Ok, thank you. You’ve kind of already answered this but, if you have anything else to add please do. What are your jobs responsibilities?” Bee and Siren laugh a little bit, and Mjlor rolls her eyes amused glancing over at the other two.

“Well, typically we’re the ones making deals with the public for the hermits when they want or need the hermits to sponsor something, or they want to sponsor the hermits. We also ask other artists for commissions if we or a hermit wants it. Additionally, we do a lot of the more advanced art for some hermits and the rest of the team.” Bee started to explain.

“We also do commissions of our own, outside of the hermits” {No-Name-Reporter} rose an eyebrow at Mjlors comment, she looks back at the reporter, raising an eyebrow back.

“So, you work for others besides the hermits?” {No-Name-Reporter} spoke with an illusion of shock and confusion. Mjlor rolled her eyes and sighed in unison with Bee and Siren like they’ve heard this before. Mjlor sat up fully, leaning forward so her arms rested on her legs.

“Listen, the hermits are great, and sure they pay us plenty. But that doesn’t mean they own us or our services. We still work for other people, and other artists work for them. Plain and simple” Bee slightly nudged Mjlor.

“Everything Mjlor said was right. And I think we move on now please.”

“If I could ask a few more questions about-”

“No,” the three advertisers said at once.” Next question please” Bee stated once again, making the reporter give a defeated sigh.

“Ok, next question. Two questions actually, Who is in charge? Of you and your job, and what can we expect next?” {No-Name-Reporter} looked at the three expectantly, feeling the atmosphere in the room suddenly grow heavier, but the tones of the three didn’t change to anything malicious.

“Xisuma manages our paychecks and makes sure we get them on time” Bee started talking first.

“And we don’t really have a set leader or director here. We all have different jobs within the advertising department. So one of us can exactly look over everything” Siren tried to explain.

“With us, we have to communicate in order to get shit done, and that’s what we do. So technically we’re all in charge of ourselves, we don’t need a big boss hovering over our shoulder like you” Mjlor finished, sitting back again, crossing her arms again.

“And a lot of our projects are pretty private, strictly between us, the hermits, and our clients. If you want to know more, a hermit or client will publicly announce what they’re doing and you can ask them. Privacy is important here.” Bee crossed her legs, putting their hands on their knee as they gave the reporter a smile. After a long silence {No-Name-Reporter} let out an awkward cough.

“Well since you just answered my next question, ill skip to the others after that. I have two questions actually. How did you each get this job? Are you qualified enough?” Mjlor gave out a low heavy sigh and rubbed their temple as Bee’s wings jitter in annoyance and Sirens wings try to puff up to make her look bigger, but she soothes them back down.

“Listen, {No-Name-Reporter}, we’re not really liking your questions, your delivery and the way you’re talking to us is very rude. Knowing the hermits or not, you shouldn’t treat someone like this. And frankly, I’m not going to deal with that. “Mjlor states as she stood, Bee and Siren following her lead.

“If you’ve treated us like this I’m afraid how you treated the others.” Siren shook her head slightly at the reporter, already mentally planning on contacting the other 2 teams to see how their interviews went. {No-Name-Reporter} quickly stood up after them, reaching out a hand.

“Wait, ok, at least answer my final question, Have you ever lied or stretched the truth when asked about who the Hermits are and what they do? There are a lot of rumors going on around them you know” {No-Name-Reporter} fell silent as all 3 advertisers turn to face them. They all gave them a stare that didn’t quite have ill intent, but it surely wasn’t friendly either.

“Listen {No-Name-Reporter}. I recommend you leave this area and refrain from contacting us or the hermits ever again” Bee spoke calmly, walking closer as she held her arms behind her back. “We took time out of our busy days to talk to you, the hostility is not appreciated.” As {No-Name-Reporter} started to try and walk back, the back of their legs hit the seat and out of surprise fell back into the seat. Siren used her wings to flutter hop over. Grabbing the recording device, she pressed the stop button.

“The hermits are kind people and try to show that, but also aren’t pushovers like some people think they are.” Siren handed the recording device back to the stunned reporter. “And they’re going to be very displeased to learn this whole interview was to try and get secrets about them from us.” the {No-Name-Reporter} starter to sputter and explain themself but Mjlor put a hand on their shoulder.

{No-Name-Reporter} almost jumped out of their seat and turned to look at the girl who seemed to just appear next to them. {No-Name-Reporter} gave Mjlor a cautious and confident look as to say ‘hurt me, I dare you, ill take you down if you do’. Mjlor gave them a smirk and leans down.

“Don’t worry {No-Name-Reporter}, I’m not going to hurt you, I would never, I think I’m being unrightfully accused” Mjlor feigned innocence. “I just want you to know, you have 12 people who know; what you look like, your name, and where you work. If the hermits truly wanted to find you to give you a follow-up after this, it would not be very hard.” With that Mjlor stood up and let go of the reporter’s shoulder, pulling out her communicator she walked out of the park, probably messaging the Ambassadors and the A&A’s. {No-Name-Reporter} let out a shaky breath and looked at the other two who have gathered their stuff.

“I hope you have a lovely rest of your day {No-Name-Reporter}” Bee said with a smile.

“And I sure do hope you learn not to be as rude. It’s not a good look and can get you in trouble” Siren said with concern and then a smile. The two then followed Mjlors lead and left {No-Name-Reporter} sitting there. Stunned and a little frightened.

Aftermath

“Yeah, that company is very bad news. Are we putting them on the no-contact list?” Ely commented. Currently, all 12 A&A’s were in a room together, it was the next day. They had just finished sharing their stories with each other.

“Oh definitely, I’m half tempted to tell the hermits. But that might just cause the hermit’s more stress than they need” Zloy huffed out, scratching his head and leaning back in his seat, glancing up and behind him at Pixl, who nodded in agreement.

“Let’s wait for a minute to see what they do before we tell the hermits. But definitely put them on No-Contact” Pixl looked at the 3 advertisers. “They seemed to be the worst with you three though.” The 3 gals looks between each other and shrug.

“Eh, could be a lot of reasons why. None of the options nice but still” Siren spoke from the spot she was perched on, Bee and Mjlor nodded.

“I made sure he knew we weren't going to take any of his shit early on, and I think that pissed him off” Mjlor snorted, Bee laughing softly as well, nodded.

“That you did. In general he gave a shitty vibe” Everyone in the room agreed with Bee’s statement. Then Jimmy’s and Jono’s coms buzzed. Checking their messages they both cringed.

“So...my brother just texted”

“Mine too”

“Looks like the reporter has a fast work ethic because the article is already out” Jono looked up to see the differing looks of upset in the room then to Jimmy. Jimmy looking back at him than the others.

“Turns out it’s not the nicest article either, to put it nicely, and the hermits who already know are not happy. I think we should be getting a text from-” 

~Ding~

“Xisuma” Ely, Pixl, and Zloy said at the same time. The room stayed silent for a moment before they all started to laugh.

“Ok, let’s get this crazy shit show rolling shall we?” Pooka recommended, holding up 3 recorders of his own. Each labeled with the different departments the group was in.

“Wait, are those each from our interviews?” Skizz questioned, to which pooka nodded quickly.

“Sure is, and I say we use these to our advantage.” And with that, everyone gave each other a mischievous smirk. With a message to Xisuma for a meeting place, they all started leaving the room, excited to cause some mayhem. They all deserved some fun after those interviews, as a treat.

#HGAU stories #hermitcraft #hermit recap #honorary hermits #i really dont wanna tag 12 people #thats a lot #hermitcraft recap #But! #i had fun with this-writing it and stuff #many mistakes or not haha #i hope whoever reads this had fun too! #and i hope i did the 3 i tagged justice #im scared to share it just cause i dont want them to hate it xD

[griffintail]

I literally just had a thought-and I'm not sure which I like more. Techno brining either Phil's kid or his kid to the nether with him (probably when they're a little older) and a piglin gives them a courting gift. And they don't understand but techno goes protective. I just-the lost ones series has been so much angst lately man. You don't have to write this but at least it's a cute thought 🥰

Courting Gifts

Pairings: Parental! Technoblade x F! Reader

Warnings: None :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno had taken (Y/N) into the Nether a few times before but it was simply to cross from one portal to another. He never had a reason to interact with the life there, other than striders when he taught her how to ride one and ghasts when they were attacked by the vicious things. They never had a reason to interact with the piglins.

So, when Techno was running out of a few things and he had a few bits of gold hoarded away, he decided to trade with the piglins.

“Hey, I need to go trading but the village is too far out. So, I’m going to the Nether to trade with piglins, want to come along?” Techno asked (Y/N) as he came outside to see the young adult laying in the snow but her head on Steve.

“Sure! I’ve never seen you trade with piglins.” She got up and pet Steve before she left the bear’s side.

“I never have much of a reason to, I usually plan a village trip ahead.” He said as he went in with her behind him. “But, with the you know what Athena, I used a few more supplies than I should have.”

“Ah, right.” She nodded.

She was truly a girl of wisdom and Techno had thought the name proper for her when he formed the Syndicate with her and Phil. They both went to grab their gear for a Nether trip and Techno quizzed her before they left.

“What do we need for a Nether trip?”

“Crossbow for ghasts,” she patted the crossbow on her back, “gold as a sign of peace,” she held up her arms to show her gold bracers, “and a couple of fire resistance potions just in case. And of course, the normal armor and sword.”

“Correct.” He nodded. “I’ll deal with all the trading today, come on.”

Both father and daughter walked to and into the portal, capes flowing behind them and crowns glinting. (Y/N) walked beside Techno as he led the way to a bastion hold.

“Piglins like the good things in life,” Techno told her as he showed her the gold he had taken. “They’ll give you almost anything for a bit of gold.”

“So would you.” She joked with him and he snorted.

“You’ve been hanging out with Tommy too much.”

She grinned as she looked around as Techno went up to one of the piglin traders. Around, she took in the black stoned building with a couple of gold inlays in its stone foundations. They must like their gold even more than her father did. She supposed that’s why gold armor was a sign of peace.

Following her father around to a few traders, she quickly found out that Techno could communicate through their snorts and such while she didn’t understand it at all. She didn’t understand the bartering either though. Techno seemed to get some decent items with just one bit of gold but what seemed like nothing at all for more gold.

“How does their trading work?” She asked him as he moved onto a new trader.

“It’s mostly how greedy they are. Sometimes I can talk down their prices, sometimes I can’t.” He shrugged. “I don’t trade with the greedier ones unless I really need something.”

“How greedy were they?”

“They weren’t bad, you should see the ones that want to trade with ender pearls.”

“Would they trade with me?”

“Eh, some of them might try to trade with you to get a steal. Some of them might be kind and actually, barter with you.”

“Huh, do you mind if I sit and write some of this down?”

Techno chuckled lightly. (Y/N) loved to take notes of things she learned and documented findings she had never seen in the many books they both read.

“Ok, just stay in my sight.” He nodded.

She nodded before leaving his side to go sit on a black stone bench. Carefully putting her crown next to her, she pulled out her journal and ink before writing down what Techno had told her. As she was documenting, she saw a small hand going for her crown in the corner of her eye.

“Hey!” She grabbed the crown and pulled it to her to see a small piglin. “That’s not yours.”

The child shrunk, giving small snorts. Shit, they were adorable.

“You shouldn’t take something that isn’t yours.” She told them, putting the crown on her head before digging through her bag and finding one bit of gold. “But here.”

They perked up at the offering of gold before happily taking it. She smiled as they climbed onto the bench next to her, playing with the gold in their hands before trying to look at her journal, making snorts.

“This is my journal; I was writing down what my dad told me.” She explained even though she doubted the child could understand her. “I’m documenting things no one has ever written down.”

The piglin gave little snorts as he pressed close to her to just stare at her journal and she chuckled, tickling the feather of her quill on the child’s nose making them give a little snort of what she assumed was laughter.

“You should go find your mom or dad kiddo. I don’t want to be responsible for you.”

She supposed he understood some of her words at least because the little piglin got up and wandered over to an older piglin, tugging on their pant leg. Chuckling softly, she turned back to her journal, writing down a few notes that the piglins probably understood a bit of common language as she now kept her crown on her head, despite it being annoying that it would fall forward. As she was scribbling away, even doodling a piglin, she looked up as a shadow came into a view.

It was the older piglin that the small one had gone to and she smiled up at them.

“Hello. Can I help you?” She asked.

The piglin gave a few snorts before holding a golden bracelet to her. She tilted her head, confused.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I don’t have any more gold for that.” She said carefully, hoping the piglin would understand.

They gave a few more snorts, still holding out the bracelet.

“Um…ok?” She said confused as she stood, putting her journal away then reaching for the bracelet only for an ender pearl to shatter in between the pair.

Technoblade then stood there, towering over the piglin and giving a mix of a growl and a snort as he had a hand on his sword. The piglin shrunk before scurrying off.

“What was that?!” (Y/N) exclaimed in shock.

“We’re leaving,” Techno said as he kept his tall posture while walking back towards the entrance.

“What? What just happened?” (Y/N) asked hurriedly as she followed after her father.

“Not now, back at home.” He said stiffly.

(Y/N) was very confused but she followed after him regardless. He’d tell her once they got where they needed to be. It took till they got to their portal before he stopped, relaxing his tall stance. (Y/N) realized now was he had been making himself appear tall and intimidating as he gave an angry huff.

“The nerve…”

“What was that?” She questioned.

“A piglin custom.”

“What custom? Dad, I don’t understand. All I know is you terrified that piglin.”

Techno groaned as he took off his mask so he could run a hand down his face. He stood there for a few moments before looking at her.

“It was a courting gift.”

“A what?” She said shocked.

“Piglins give gold jewelry to women they want to court. He wanted to court you.”

All (Y/N) could think was that piglin was lucky he wasn’t dead.

“Oh. Uh. What would have happened if…you didn’t come in?”

“They would have tried to court you! I was not letting that happen.” Techno shook his head as he went towards home now, (Y/N) following behind. “I was watching you as I traded though and was trading for ender pearls when I saw him trying to give you the courting gift.”

Techno had practically shoved all of his gold at the ender pearl trader before taking the ender pearls, immediately using one to separate his daughter from the piglin. He remembered the voices screaming simultaneously, but he was acting on his own instinct as a father.

“Oh, well, thank you?” She questioned.

“Yes, you are welcome. No boys, no nothing.” Techno told her as they stepped into the house. “You’re still too young.”

“Dad, I’m almost twenty.” She joked.

“No. Boys. No, nothing.” Techno pointed at her, looking deadly serious.

“Uhh.”

“What boys?” Phil asked as he came in having seen the pair come home.

She had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

#Technoblade x reader #mcyt reader insert #mcyt oneshots #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt imagine #dreamsmp x reader

[warmau]

Love Struck!AU x SF9

lately i just need to write about every member of every kpop group being in capital L love. find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez | the boyz

youngbin

overcompensates with selfless acts that go above and beyond what any person deserves

offers to carry your bags, learns about plumbing when you mention you have a leaky faucet, asks if you want him to drive you to your appointments which you are perfectly fine getting to on your own

if there was a puddle of mud on the ground, youngbin would throw his brand new jacket over it just so you could walk over it

even though you could literally just. walk around it

doesn't even realize he's overdoing it

he just loves you and therefore knows he has to show it at any given part of the day

but not like in an aggressive manner

just a small smile and a "i can pick you up and drop you off if you want!"

dawon: actually, youngbin, we have practice at that tim-

youngbin, shoving a sandwich down dawon's throat: so you said noon right?

when you respectfully decline any of his help, mostly because you are worried you're using your friend for his kindness, everyone assures you that's not it

actually everyone is super confused how you haven't seen why it is weird that youngbin would commit hours of research for you when you ask offhandedly if you should visit europe for the summer and then show up at your door with ten pamphlets on different european destinations 'by chance'

because - that's weird - and weird means, in the great way of sf9, that he has a crush on you

"youngbin, you're being so nice to me these days how could i ever repay you?

youngbin about to say that there's nothing you need to do, he just likes being able to help

dawon, shoving a sandwich down youngbin's throat for revenge and also to answer on his leader's behalf: "actually, if you could finally go on a date with him - i think that would repay it."

you get all shy and murmur that you don't know if youngbin wants that, and youngbin can only vigorously nod that he does

(due to the sandwich)

inseong

no clue if puppy syndrome is a thing, but he's got it

the human embodiment of big puppy eyes whenever you're around, big puppy pout, big puppy wagging his tail at just the mention of your name

even without all that - the energy that exists around inseong when you are near him and giving him attention - it's enough to quite literally blow everyone and everything else away

and there are lasting effects

as in you walk away from the conversation and fifteen minutes later inseong still can't make out a single word, just chin on his palm - daydreamy look in his eyes

jaeyoon tries snapping his fingers in his face, tickling him, even flicking his best friend straight on the forehead but.

nothing.

the only way he breaks out of the spell you cast on him is either a long time passes or you show up again and inseong is back at your full attention

it's getting bad, like to a point where he walks into walls or drops his phone in the sink when he starts thinking about you

incidents where he nearly topples over onto poor chain who is like get off of me you are built like a skyscraper

or just flat out doesn't move a muscle in the right direction during practice and it's literally driving youngbin mad

so jaeyoon (like the best friend he is) arranges for you to come hang out with him but tada it's actually a candlelight dinner in the sf9 kitchen he and the rest of the boys set up for you and inseong

and you're like w....whats all this and inseong is like i don't know either

and jaeyoon (who like the best friend he is picked the nicest smelling candle from the tj maxx sale aisle) appears and lights it and is like this is for you two to confess and for inseong to be cured of puppyism

you: puppyism?

inseong, red as a tomato: i think he means like the way i act around you like a - um -

jaeyoon: like a lovesick puppy, so like....collar him or whatever

you and inseong both looking at him like do what? and jaeyoon is like sorry that didn't come out right

either way you get the point please date the oversized man whose brain wont work unless you give him a kiss

jaeyoon

opposite of his best friend, jaeyoon doesn't need to fall over his feet when he's lovestruck

he will literally just let you know how he feels

"i like you"

you smile at him and laugh, "i like you too!"

and jaeyoon is like amazing so we are both "liking" each other how lovely how nice

and that is....................where it ends

he literally is so preoccupied with the concept of confessing that he forgets the part where he has to like.

confirm the relationship

so for like a month after you are both just saying 'i like you' to each other and he thinks it's romantic and you still think it's platonic

it's a mess

he keeps asking himself when the right time to ask you to go to the movies with him is, if he should pull out the home cooking - why haven't you pulled out the home cooking? do you not "like" him enough for that?

he paces around before you come over because is he dressed too casual - i mean he's your boyfriend, he should put effort into it right?

and then you show up and nothing is different and everything is the same and when inseong is like

jaeyoon you're dating them right, why don't you guys like kiss? and jaeyoon is like holy shit i haven't even thought about that yet

and dawon is like how have you not thought about that kissing is all i think about ever

and so jaeyoon's head gets even more scrambled because now you come over and he's like ..... kiss......lips......mouth...hand? kiss on mouth...hand...lips.....hug?

and you're like what? and he's like hug lips mouth? and you're like jaeyoon are you ok?

oh my god at some point you're both alone and jaeyoon is walking you home or something and he reaches out to grab your hand because like that's normal right? people dating do that right?

and you're like oh! and he's like is this ok? and you're like a-does it mean something?

and jaeyoon is like it means the same thing as i like you....you know....like how i said it a month ago and i just thought we could take the next step-

he's rubbing his neck and blushing and he has always been sauve and straightforward and it dawns on you that the entirety of this month he has been saying he likes you like in that way

and you're like wait you like-love me? and he's like yes wait what did you think- and you're like i thought it was like-like ....like friend like?

you and jaeyoon just staring at each other and then he's like should i let go of your hand then

and you're like no. actually just kiss me we've wasted a LITERAL month

dawon

always the class clown, being lovestruck somehow only tends to make it worse

but not worse like oh he gets louder and cracks more jokes.

my man has upgraded to mildly dangerous body humor.

you are all together and dawon is suddenly like you guys think i can climb that uneven, rickety tree? and youngbin is like no and you're like no but dawon is like it'll be fun just watch

dawon: should i drink spoiled milk

you: why-

dawon: im hardcore it'll be fine - look im just a goofy guy who - oh my god. call an ambulance.

the idea is that every time you are in the vicinity and glowing like an angel without a halo dawon is like

gotta do something so outrageously stupid that it grabs their attention and/or lands me in a situation where i can excuse myself to run away from my feelings. perfect.

it's literally the dumbest logic on the planet

everyone tells him it's the dumbest logic on the planet

but dawon is convinced it's the best reaction to....to the butterflies in his stomach

of course, you don't find any of it amusing, you are just in a constant state of worry

one time dawon takes it too far and probably tries to do something that could actually seriously hurt him

and you stop him by grabbing him and being like stop - i don't know why you don't care about yourself but i care about you so stop being stupid

and dawon is staring down at you like

"pause, you care about me? like on a scale of 1-10 how muc-"

you kiss him and mutter a "11" and dawon thinks he sees stars

youngbin thanking you profusely like we were worried for his actual literal life

zuho

rather scream into the void than confront how he feels about you

the private twitter account is blowing up with tweets about how he wants to hold your hand and how that makes him pathetic

dawon replying under each of them: tru

rowoon replying under each of them: not true!!!!! love is awesome!!!! pog as chani would say!!!!!!

you talk to him about something and his ears are full of white noise and he cant help but think about how your face is somehow the most beautiful thing he's ever seen and how he could write a whole album about the curve of your nose and the color of your eyes and -

you ask him what he thinks and he can only reply with a sound that is both pained and high pitched and when you raise your eyebrow he's like gtg uh feed my cats

when you're around he disappears to "feed his cats" like . ten times

surprisingly being a lovestruck fool does fuel his ability to make music

but it is also sad and about being heartbroken and the members are like hey do you wanna talk about it and zuho is like no

there are spotify playlists with your name, there are journal entries about you, there are iPhone notes app scribbles about you

he's down bad

everyone knows he's down bad

you also figure out he's down bad and so you finally confront him

except you're like......... zuho who are you in love with? ill help you if i can

and he looks at you like a deer in headlights because that's the most bizarre shit you could ask him

and because of the shock he blurts out the truth

"you. i love you."

screams after and you jump up and he's like i need to leave and you're like AT LEAST LET ME SAY IT BACK?????

rowoon

it's the cluelessism of it all

he looks at you one day and instead of just being a person you are beaming at him like a direct sunray and he's like woah! weird!

he just kind of becomes more clumsy around you since you've got this new effect on him

trips over his big feet, giggles randomly while you're talking, forgets he's in the middle of the street when you're walking by his side and someone has to honk three times for him to start walking again

honestly no one can tell what's wrong with him

because is he like ... is it early onset amnesia? is he just spacing out?

even chani notices the shift because rowoon has gone from annoying him to laying half off the couch with his hand in an empty pringles can

"what are you thinking about?"

rowoon just mutters your name and chani is like .... i don't know about all this but maybe you like them?

reality hits rowoon like a freight truck .... liking you? that's new

he googles 'what to do when you like someone?' literally googles it

tries to show you by playing it cool, tries to show you by showering you in random compliments but he's tongue tied when you smile so he's like i love your hair it looks like. cheese

embarrasses himself over and over and over until he just hunches himself over one day and is like

why is liking someone so hard? isn't it supposed to be easy?

and you're like haha i know the feeling, ive liked someone for so long but he never takes a hint and rowoon is like omg who

and you look at him and you're like well he's a tall clueless handsome guy

and rowoon stares at you like he sounds nice

and you're like you

and he's like oh that's nice - WAIT

taeyang

flirts with you but it flops because he's been flirting with you since you first met

so you cannot tell the difference and taeyang is like what am i doing wrong

inseong: karma for always winking and calling them cute when now you want them to do it back to you

taeyang: shuttup sad old man

inseong: you've been hanging out too much with chani. sniffle

he decides ok so regular flirting doesn't work, so what about lowkey flexing?

he wears the expensive watch and puts his hand in front of you like, hey and you're like hi? and he's like notice anything? and you're like .... um..... oh, your tag is sticking out of your shirt! and taeyang is like .........F

ok so not flexing, what about compliments?

he piles like ten of them on you and you're like oh - thanks, but i don't really like this outfit anyway and he's like....F

ok so not flexing, compliments, let's try playing hard to get

he gives you the cold shoulder when you come over and you immediately are like taeyang are you mad at me if you are im sorry so stop being a weirdo and he's like........F

finally he just reverts to himself and just keeps up the regular flirting and the soft touches and smiles

and he realizes the difference now is when he flirts - he just has to follow up on it

so when he asks " i cant taste my lips, can you do it for me?"

and you reply with "sure" and roll your eyes

he just . does kiss you and you're like oh.

and he's like well what do you say and you're like your lips taste sweet and he's like NO I MEAN-

you just kiss him again because now you get what he actually means LOL

hwiyoung

sulks when you're not around, and then doesn't go near you when you are around

it's like please make up your mind

is the definition of if i stare at you long enough you will fall in love with me right?

but he stares from ten feet away

it takes everyone all their strength to drag him out of his room when you're over and even then he puts his hoodie up and plays with his shoelaces and acts like he's a five year old

when he gets put next to you in the car ride somewhere he almost passes out from holding his breath from nervousness and you turn to him and you're like hwi you're turning purple?!?!?

you tap his shoulder when he isn't looking and call him hwi~ and he thinks his knees like. give out he crumbles to the floor and you're like oh my god are you sick??!?!!?

to put it simply, being in love forces him to lose his human ability to live

gets a pep talk from literally every member about how he cannot act like this. it's giving you the wrong impression and yet he just

he can't do anything about it you enter his personal space and the little nerves in his brain go haywire

"i don't want them to think im being rude, but it's kind of like im allergic to them."

"oh - you're allergic to me?"

hwiyoung turns and you're giving him a look and he's like oh god i mean - i don't - i mean like -

and he doesn't know what to say but you just giggle and you're like "fine, if you're allergic we'll have to make immune"

and he's like blinking like wha-

you wrap your hands around him and he's like !!!! and you're like here just take me in large doses until you build up immunity ok?

hwiyoung nodding because he has forgotten the entirety of the korean language

chani

realizes he's being freaking weird when he bails on his plans to eat and game to hang out with you

prioritizing social interaction over being alone in his room......now that's not normal

yes, ok, so he likes you - but now he's like

no one can ever know that. i will not be left alone if anyone finds out.

unfortunately, he asks jaeyoon of all people if he knows what food you like and jaeyoon is like

OH YOU WANNA ASK THEM ON A DATE RIGHT SO YOU WANNA LOOK UP RESTAURANTS WITH THAT FOOD RIGHT?

chani standing in the doorway like. what. no....

the minute chani starts picking the spot next to you when you're all together is his downfall

the entire world knows how he feels and he's like oh fuck seriously

he helps you go shopping and he comes home and every member is just like :) tell us about the date :)

and he's like SHUTTUP

calls you by a nickname and rowoon almost chokes on his food in surprise, because chani?????? gave someone???? a nickname????? and it isn't a combination of the word ass and hole?????

he cannot escape the fact that little things for others, are big things for him

being attentive and caring and even just smiling in your presence is enough to give away how he's feeling

let alone he dropped a rank in league so everyone is like ah - he's distracted with someone~!

it gets unbearable to a point where chani is like i cant live with these people always bothering me so im just going to confess

he pulls you aside and is like "i want to date you - is that ok?" and you're like of course, was wondering when you'd ask dummy and he's like,,,,,,listen,,,,

assumes the teasing will die down when you both come into the room holding hands

BUT OH IS HE WRONG

inseong: i got dibs on being the wedding planner, eat dirt youngbin

#sf9 scenarios #sf9 au #sf9 imagines #sf9 x reader #youngbin scenarios #inseong scenarios #jaeyoon scenarios #dawon scenarios #rowoon scenarios #chani scenarios #hwiyoung scenarios #taeyang scenarios #zuho scenarios #youngbin au #jaeyoon au #chani au #inseong au #rowoon au #zuho au #taeyang au #sf9 #sfw #lovestruck!au #youngbin imagines #inseong imagines #jaeyoon imagines #dawon imagines #rowoon imagines #chani imagines #hwiyoung imagines

[wornoutmouse]

Ayo... DOM! Deku with a choking and overstim kink. Like the baku AND DekuSquad both thinks that the reader leads the relationship and is top in bed cuz the difference in personalities and PDA. But the reader just goes along with it cuz she knows that it’s the exact opposite and she wanna get fucked fucked. So in the end the next school day they see the reader limping to school and Deku smiling cheeky. Bro Deku makes me😩 May you do a request to that? It’s ok if you won’t 😊

Question of the Day: What nicknames do y'all find not cringy during a steamy moment?

Cursing, squirting

It wasn’t your fault that people viewed you as the one in charge when it came to the sexual side of you and Izuku’s relationship. You were naturally more energetic and rivaled Bakugou in the terms of attitude and prowess, meanwhile, Deku was one of softer energy. Always smiling awkwardly and blushing at every little joke and jab. Very few people have seen Deku in his prime when he is focused on a goal and will do anything to get there. This attitude graciously carried over to his love life, something you were faithfully reminded of on one faithful day.

As usual, You, and the usual majority of class 1-A sat around each other during lunch. Deku being the nerd he was, sat leaning against you while writing something in his notebook, dusting it every so often when the wind blew flowers off the tree above you. An ethical argument between Mineta and Denki is what started the whole ordeal.

“What do you mean, Mineta?! Deku is totally the submissive one in his and Y/n’s relationship, no doubt about it!” Mineta shook his head adamantly. “I’m telling you, dude, it’s the super nice ones you have to worry about.” Denki gasped, offended, “I can’t believe you are saying this right now, have you no shame!”

Jirou rolled her eyes as she had no choice but to listen to the boy’s stupid conversation. “You do know Y/n is sitting right here right?” Based on the wide look on both of their eyes, they did not in fact realize that. Quickly looking at each other with narrowed features they dig in their pockets in order to retrieve their wallets. “20 bucks that say Y/n is topping Deku.” Mineta scoffed, “40 says you’re wrong.” they both shake on it before scooting closer to you. “So Y/n, which one of us is right.”

Looking between the two boys you open your mouth to answer the truth until you feel Deku shift his weight. He was looking at you, everyone was looking at you, all eager to hear who was right. A hand placed subtly on your back makes your smile widen, for a different reason than everyone else would guess. “Well, I can’t exactly say Denki is wrong, but I can’t say that he’s right.”

The blond whines in annoyance, “Oh come on what does that even mean!?!” While his attention is distracted, Mineta snatches the money from his hands, “That means you’re wrong now pay up.” Denki snaps out of his stupor in order to chase after his smaller classmate, “No the hell it doesn’t!” Now, with everyone’s attention being distracted to the slapstick comedy the two ensue, you realize that the hand you previously felt is gone. Deku is back to scribbling away in his notebook, giving you a false sense of relief.

“Man, Snipe is so aggressive when it comes to history!” Kirishima slouches in his chair knocking Bakugou’s hand as he eats out of a Yogurt cup. “Watch it shitty hair!” is the usual response, as the class congregates together. Asui calls you over to show you something but Deku steps in front of you before you fully stand. “Y/n since we have free time right now, I was hoping you could come and help me with something real quick.” He scratched the back of his head and looked over your head.

On the outside, it was just Deku being shy Deku, nothing suspicious about the ever-present blush he always sported was in full bloom. But from your point of view, it was obvious there was a different intent behind those eyes. “We’ll be back guys.” Deku mutters a hand settled comfortably on your waist as you walk out the door. From the corner of your eye, you could see Jirou watching the two of you leave with an eyebrow raised.

Deku guided you down the school halls, thumb rubbing shapes into your side. He said nothing as you walked, only waving and making small conversation with any familiar face you two passed by. After a long time, you two reach an unfamiliar classroom that Deku curiously peeks inside of. “So what are we doing?” “You’ll see.” Deku ushers the two of you inside before closing and locking the door shut. The mood seems to shift almost immediately.

Deku has a lazy smile on his face as he tugs on his school tie, “So what was that conversation you and Kaminari were having earlier?” Your arms tingle with goosebumps, “I don’t know what you’re referring to.” While Izuku talked, his uniform coat is placed neatly on a nearby desk table, the sleeve of his collared shirt was rolled up and out of the way. “Yeah, I figured you would say that, that’s why I wrote it down to help refresh your memory.”

Deku sits down on a desk, motioning you over to him with a twitch of his fingers. A small notebook you hadn’t noticed till now was pulled from his back pocket before being flipped through. When you stood in front of him, his hand resumed its place on your waist so he could pull you much closer. “According to my notes, Kaminari and Mineta were debating on who was in charge of our relationship.” The more he spoke, the more aware you became of his fingers tapping randomly on your back, each touch tickled your spine, “And in response, you encouraged Kaminari’s theory that you were the one in charge.” Deku snapped the notebook closed with one hand before placing it on the other side of your waist forcing you to face him. “Is that right?”

You are silent when Deku’s scarred hands undo your shirt buttons from the bottom up. “I just thought it was interesting that your answer was different from what my memory recalls.” Izuku sucks in a breath when he sees your black lace bra. The fabric covering your chest conveniently hid the faded hickeys he knew he left 3 weeks ago. “Take this off for me?” The soft tone took you off guard making you pause confused as Deku gently tugged off your shirt and tie. He stands up folding your clothes as you fiddle with your bra straps. “I’m done?” You turn around to hand him your bra but squeak out in surprise when his hand grips your neck.

He keeps his hand there as he backs you up, forcing you to sit on the desk he was previously on. “I’m curious….” Deku trails off in his speech, using the time to kiss you deeply, hand never leaving your neck. “Since you are always the one in charge, I figure that maybe I should finally put in the work and make you feel good?” Deku pulls the chair from underneath the desk and sits down, legs spread. “Well, what are you waiting for, come here?” Your stomach flips as you slide off the table, the stale cool air of the classroom makes your skin prickle with goosebumps as Deku faces you the opposite way in order for you to sit comfortably in his lap.

“Deku what if we get caught?” You nervously glance at the classroom door, the lack of a peeking window putting you somewhat at ease. You were the only one exposed and if someone were to come through that door, they would see your half-naked body in all its glory. A hovering hand grabs the ends of your faux locs to pull your head back so he could whisper in your ear. “I’m sure they’ll understand that I’m just trying to pay you back for all my laziness.”

You bite your lips coyly. He was annoyed, you could definitely hear it now from his sarcastic remarks. But that didn’t make you regret your earlier choice, not one bit, and Deku knew that. The real excitement came from seeing how long it would last.

The gentleness returned when he grabbed your chest, massaging and pulling at them for his own enjoyment before releasing them in order to slide down your stomach. As expected he pinches the skin hard between his fingers and then releases before you even have enough time to complain.

“Just relax okay?” Deku places each of your thighs atop of his, successfully spreading your legs apart. You suppressed laughter whenever his fingers grazed your skin just lightly enough that it tickled, there was no need to give him a reason to be more upset. “Wearing briefs again today?”

Your pussy is palmed without restriction as deft fingers rub at the soft cotton protecting it. “Now how am I supposed to get to you now huh?” You knew the unspoken answer, and Deku knew you hated it as he clenched his fingers into the fabric until it ripped, “Oops.” You shook your head pouting at the unfair treatment, “Why do you always have to do that, now I have to be extra careful of my skirt!”

Strike one was raising your voice.

The touch was quick but still ever so stinging. Deku slapped your pussy in response before using his other hand to hold your neck, firmly tipping it up to the ceiling. “If you would have stopped wearing underwear entirely we wouldn’t be having this conversation, you know I like easy access.” The lack of visible reaction meant nothing since you could almost feel the blood rushed to your face. Deku kisses your neck determined to add marks that you could never hide. Your dark skin peppered with purple bruises while Izuku simultaneously rolled your skirt up to your waist.

You were already wet, the small nibbles here and there were enough for your clit to twitch excitedly as Izuku’s fingers danced around it. “Please touch me!” A warm chuckle vibrated from his chest at your desperate plea, “Calm down and relax Princess. I’ll get you where you need to be.” Deku continues to ignore your clit. His fingers, ever precise, slide between your folds in order to collect your arousal. The feeling adds some pleasure but only enough to make you more desperate. “Look at you.”

Deku observed your hips buck every whenever he got close to your clit. The small nerve swelling with blood and begging to be touched, and who would he be to deny that. It was heaven on earth when he finally put pressure on it. “Mhm!” His fingers combined with your wetness as extra lubrication provided the most pleasurable feeling. You wanted to clamp your legs shut and trap him there, but his much thicker thighs kept you wide open and on display.

Deku was never one to do anything half-assed, so while his fingers flicked and pulled at your clit, his other hand got to work. However, your twitching made you clench down whenever his finger barely pushed inside, “You gotta calm down baby, how else am I going to make you cum?” Soft soothing words made you just enough for him to push his index finger inside. Your cunt was tight, warm, and irresistible. The steady pump of his fingers has you closing your eyes as you relax against him like jelly.

Deku knew your pussy like the back of his hand at this point, every ripple, nook, and cranny he knew how to touch in order to make your toes curl. He adds another finger to the mixture, then another, and a fourth one until you are gushing around his digits and onto the floor. You were a slutty mess and no intelligible words could leave your mouth but “please” and “thank you”.

And while exhibitionism was one thing he had no problem with, Deku respected the fact that you would probably not be too keen to it. “You’re being too loud puppy.” Deku retracts his hand in favor of shoving his fingers in your mouth. You could taste yourself as he pushed them in further, rubbing it along your tongue as drool rolled down his forearm.

The sound of his finger fucking your pussy was wet and sticky, It took a large effort on his part to hold you against him every time your back arched away. “I’m cumming!” Your stomach contorted beautifully against his estranged wrist. “There you go.” Izuku kissed on the shell of your ear as you adjusted past your orgasms. “Are you done?”

You turn your head to kiss him, “Yeah..” He nodded, patting your cheek, “That’s good.” Izuku helps you stand up, helping you when you wobbled ever so slightly. You look at him unsure of the constant smile adorning his face, “Now what?” Izuku slouched a little bit more, “Now you get on your knees of course!”

You only have a moment to ponder what he said before a hand on your shoulder is forcing you down to your knees. It was quick enough for you not to feel the pain of your knees slamming down, but not quick enough to see the smirk crossing your initially sweet lover.

He was already hard as a rock when you pulled him out, cockhead with a steady stream of pre coming out the tip. You admired it with a small kitten lick around the edge, pleased when it bobs from your ministrations. “You are taking too long now put it in your fucking mouth.” Your head is pressed down less than gracefully and you are forced to open your mouth less his dick be smeared against your face.

Your mouth spreads as best it could while Deku sheathed all the way down to the base. He pulls out once again as if testing the waters before letting you up for a quick breath. “For someone in charge, you aren’t very good at this.” Deku uses a patronizing finger to wipe stray saliva off your chin before gripping your chin. “Maybe this will help you learn.” Using one hand Deku uses his cock to tap your mouth expectantly. Your mouth opens on reflex and his cock is pushed back in. Deku sighs with satisfaction, “Fuck, your mouth has always been good for this.” The tempo isn’t as bruising as it was in the beginning but it was still harsh.

Tears collected in your eyes ruining the mascara Momo had put on your eyes. Your throat burned from the constant friction and lack of air. “You hear that? This was what you should have said when they had asked you who was in charge.” Deku looked at you, his curly green hair covering his eyes as shook from his arm movement. “Look at those pretty lips.” Deku flinched after you swiped your tongue on the underside of his cock.

His voice sped up in the momentum and pitched in tone, “Y-You tryna make me cum fast huh!?” You bobbed your head faster despite the tight grip on your scalp trying to pull you away, “F-Fuck Y/n stop it!” Izuku’s voice caved and his hips jerked against your chin as he emptied his balls. You wipe your face with a large grin, brown eyes daring green ones. Izuku laughed, “You wanted this huh?” You don’t respond, skin tingling in the thought of what would come next. Deku stared at you, hands gripping his knees as his dick continued to spurt cum. “Fine.”

Deku stands up before dropping to his knees in front of you. Your calves are grabbed and raised until they are placed on his left shoulder. He slides inside of you with little to no resistance and you both groan at the intrusion. “I try to be nice to you.” Your neck is grabbed again with much familiarity, “But you always test my patience.” Deku leans over you to make sure you are listening. His eyes were a light green as sunlight cast itself inside of the classroom. The sound of your hips meeting is sloppy but neither of you are bothered by it.

You moaned as his abdomen rubbed against your clit the faster he went. “Deku!” Your voice is ragged and you’re practically wheezing at this point from the tight grip he has on every inch of your body. “Shut up.” He releases your neck and spreads your legs apart resting each on its respective shoulder. With entranced eyes Izuku watches you suck him in, sneering at how unintentionally greedy you were. The sound of spit startles you as it hits Deku’s cock before being pushed inside you.

You spasm at a particularly hard thrust, you didn’t know what it hit but your spine lit to flames each time it was grazed. “D-Deku!” You reach a hand out near any piece of skin you could reach, switching from his hands to his stomach. It was too much, the feeling of pleasure made it damn near impossible to think. Deku didn’t want you to think. Every time you seemed to think, you always caused him trouble. “I told you to be quiet.” Your mouth is covered almost completely by his hand only giving you the grace of air between his index and middle finger. You cum and you cum hard, so hard that Deku slips out and almost slips into your opposite hole.

Your leg is dragged back and Deku enters you again, this time only focused on himself. You feel him piston in and out of your cunt grunting obscenities as he closed his eyes with bliss. “Come on, I want one more like that. I need you to break for me.” In the distance, you hear the hour bell ring and the sound of students leaving their classroom. You have no energy to warn Deku, not that it would have mattered. Based on the pleasured look on his face and the heightened sound of his whines, the idea of getting caught only made him feel better. “I’m gonna, o-h fuck I’m gonna fucking cum.”

You let out a scream when a thumb finds your clit and your weak hands could do nothing to keep him from forcing another orgasm from you. “Don’t fucking run from it, cum for me puppy, oh god!” He covers your mouth to stifle your noises and that’s when the sensation begins.

The sensation is strange, it starts in your lungs like air before trickling down to your loins. The feeling of holding it back is painful but you still do it for only a moment of sanity. When it releases, it gushes like a waterfall, and for a moment you wonder if you had peed. When Deku feels it, he too is unable to hold back and finally cums inside of you with a reserved grunt when he realizes the danger of discovery.

Wasting no time and feeling no fatigue, Deku moves fast to find his own pants and shirt taking barely any time to pull your skirt down before giving you 4 minutes tops to learn how to breathe again. “Stand up.” You huff as you prop yourself up on your elbow, “You could at least help a girl out after fucking me an inch of my life.” Deku shrugs, “Logically speaking you did this to yourself.” “Logically speaking I should shove my foot up your ass.”

On the way back to class, Deku took pleasure in watching you walk bowlegged. You of course didn’t share the sediment as you did your best to hold in any cum Deku graciously left behind. He opens the door for you and you walk in doing your best to walk right but the limp was clear and true. Bakugou looked bored, the rest had blushes on their faces as you struggled to sit down properly. Denki, of course, was heartbroken as he handed Mineta back his part of the bet. “I told you, dude, it’s always the silent ones.”

From the back of the class, Asui and Jirou shoot each other an impressed look as they eyes the dark lovebites traveling below your shirt collar.

#deku smut #deku x black reader #mha x black reader #mha smut #bnha x poc!reader #bnha smut

[lowlights]

hi laura!!! could we get some single-dad max phillips please and thank you? 👉👈

!! Ok. You wrote the book on single dad max p and I love the AU with my whole heart. Max from the movie? We barely know him. This is just soft, domestic, fluffity fluff fluff fluff. You work with Max P, and he is technically your boss. No power dynamic things, though.

Shelter

WC: 1.7k

Pairing: Max Phillips x reader

Warnings: Maybe one curse word? FLUFF. Domesticity overload.

~

Another day, just like the rest, under the fluorescent lights in your little cubicle. You don’t mind the job most of the time, but the days tended to bleed together.

You are on the phone with Linda in accounting, trying desperately not to lose your patience when you see a little face peek around the corner of your wall. You smile at the little girl with a curious tilt of your head.

“Okay, I’ll have those figures to you this afternoon,” you promise before hanging up the phone. Swiveling around, you fully look at the large brown eyes that are staring back at you.

“Hi, sweetie. What’s your name?”

“Lizzie,” she declares with confidence as she fully steps into your workspace.

You introduce yourself and she holds out her hand to shake. “Daddy said you were nice.”

“Who is your Daddy, hm?” you ask, trying to suppress a laugh.

Your long-time boss, Max, comes walking around the corner and spies the two of you. With a look of relief, he says, “Susana, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Are you bothering people?” He looks at you apologetically. Max had been here for almost a year and although several people in your office didn’t care for him because he didn’t tolerate their excuses, you got along with him great.

“Not at all,” you assure him. You look to the girl who is fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “But I thought you said your name was Lizzie?”

“Lisbeth Susana Phillips, four years old!” she says proudly. “Only Daddy calls me Susana sometimes when I’m in trouble.”

You smile up at him. You know Max is stressed about the big presentation to the investors this afternoon, evidenced by his furrowed brow. “Ah, I see. Well, Miss Lizzie, if it’s ok with your dad I could really use some help with my paperwork here. Maybe for the rest of the day?”

A look of absolute relief paints itself on Max’s face and he nods emphatically before turning to his daughter. “Are you ok with that, Lis? Just for a little while?” Lizzie nods and comes over to sit on your lap, not a tentative bone in her body.

The rest of the afternoon is spent with Lizzie “helping” you prepare the figures you promised Linda. This really means that she sits with you and draws dozens of “documents” that she insists will help her dad with his work. You find yourself laughing at her precocious nature and letting her babble on and on about everything under the sun.

Max rushes to your cubicle as soon as the presentation is over, swooping his little girl up in a hug when she makes grabby hands at him from your lap. “Did it go good, Daddy?” she asked.

“So good, baby. Thanks for being so well-behaved, I hope?” He looks at you for confirmation.

You smile broadly. “She was such a help, Max. Also, I am so glad to have met the artist whose work covers every surface in your office,” you joke. The number of scribblings in his office has grown exponentially in the past few months, each one framed with pride.

“Thank you for watching her. Say thank you, Lis.”

“Thank you!”

“Bye Lizzie,” you wave. They leave your little cubicle, and you miss her already.

Not your typical day, as it turns out.

~~

You look forward to those times when Lizzie comes marching into your cubicle, sometimes once a week, and immediately crawls up into your lap no matter what you are doing. She snuggles in against you, asking for the art supplies that you now keep permanently on your desk for her. While she draws, you try and get something done but most of your time together is just enjoying her energy. Max doesn’t even bother worrying about her, he always knows where Lisbeth is going when she takes off from his office.

Max comes to your cubicle with a cup of coffee for you, a new habit he has developed over the past few weeks. He seems to know when you’re having a particularly bad day, and you are having a truly awful morning right now.

“Oh god, thank you Max. You’re a lifesaver,” you say as you take the hot mug from his hand. “I’m about to lose it on Marco, he totally screwed the supply order this month.” You grimace as the hot coffee burns your tongue but notice that it’s got just the right amount of cream in it. Just like you like it.

“Do you want me to kill him for you?” Max says…jokingly?

You shake your head. That would only be more paperwork for you both. “How’s Lizzie doing? Is she here today?”

“She would already be in here annoying you if she was. She’s back with the sitter. Their availability keeps changing, so sometimes I have to bring her in with me. She’s taken a real liking to you,” Max says fondly.

You tap your fingers on the mug as you smile. You’ve come to love the little girl with the wild curls and inquisitive brown eyes, confident just like her father and equally as endearing. Just then, Max’s cell phone rings and he steps outside of your desk area to answer. You go back to your work, still overhearing the exasperated tone of Max’s voice. After a few minutes, he comes back in and leans against the desk. Frustration is flowing off him, and he huffs as he says, “Well, the sitter just said they can’t stay tonight. I have reservations to host our new clients for dinner, and I don’t know what to do with Lisbeth. Shit.”

Immediately, you offer to come to take care of her for the night. Max looks at you with wide eyes.

“Really? You would do that?” He marvels at you.

“Of course,” you reply.

~~

That’s how you find yourself knocking at Max’s door after quickly running home to change into leggings and a t-shirt with a comfy cardigan, new art supplies tucked under your arm. Max lets you in with a thousand-watt smile, still in his perfectly pressed suit. Lizzie is beside herself with excitement, hardly pausing to say goodbye to her father as she drags you to her room so she can introduce you to every stuffed animal she has.

Max fights the very strong urge to find an excuse to stay as he closes the door behind him.

~~

Hours later, Max quietly slips through the front door and looks around at the sight before him. Walking through the dimmed hallway, he sees the kitchen come into view. Wrapped up neatly on the counter are messily decorated cupcakes, along with some folded laundry that he definitely left in a heap before he went to dinner. Turning into the living room, he sees a blanket fort set up with a string of soft lights inside.

His eyes make their way over to your sleeping form on the couch, feeling butterflies in his stomach for what isn’t the first time with you. He moves quietly over to you to pull the blanket up over your curled body but freezes when you open your eyes groggily.

You smile for a moment, soft and drenched in sleep, before realizing where you are and practically jumping up off the couch. “Oh god, I’m so sorry Max. Lizzie fell asleep, and I meant to come put away the blanket fort and I don’t know what happened!” Your words rush out quickly, matching the pounding of your heart.

Max puts his hands on your shoulders to steady you and shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry, you did nothing wrong. How was she for you? Everything go ok?” He left his hands on your shoulders, giving them a little squeeze.

You relax at his touch. “She’s great, Max. She’s so smart, and gentle, and brave. She is such a sweetie. I just love her.”

You sense your own butterflies deep in your belly, having never been this close to Max in such an intimate way. You’re always together at work, a chasm of professionalism separating you. But this feels so, so different.

Just as Max opens his mouth to say something, a booming clap of thunder makes you both jump. It continues on, loud and low, shaking the walls. Almost immediately, you hear:

“Daddyyyy!”

In an instant, Max is gone. He comes out cradling his baby girl in his arms as she cries. “Shh, shh. It’s just a storm, baby. It’ll be over soon.”

You reach out to push the hair from her eyes soothingly, and she turns to look at you, still pressed against her father’s chest. “It’s ok, Lizzie. There’s nothing to be scared of.”

Lisbeth hiccups as her tears slowly subside, and you realize that you’re pressed to Max’s side. You start to move away, but Max reaches out and softly grasps your elbow.

“Lis, do you want to sleep in the blanket fort until the storm is over? We’ll stay with you.” He looks to you with hope in his eyes, and you nod. Swiftly arranging the blankets, the three of you crawl into the little cave that glows with golden light. Lizzie is curled up on her dad, and you lie right beside them both. The space is small, and you worry that you’re crowding him, but he just lifts his arm and lets you curl into him as well.

The storm rages outside, but Lizzie quickly goes back to sleep. Her little face rests against Max’s chest, close to where yours is tucked against him. You smile at how much she looks like him, and how happy you feel in this moment.

“Is this alright?” Max whispers against your forehead. He feels you nod.

“Do you want to stay for breakfast?” he asks with a shameless grin.

“Will you make me coffee?” you counter. Max responds by pulling you tight against him.

~~

Your days aren’t so mundane anymore. Max and Lizzie take up every bit of space in your heart, to the point you think it might burst if you loved them even an ounce more. Days don’t run together like they used to, and it isn’t just Max’s desk that is covered with Lizzie’s artwork.

#max phillips #max p #bloodsucking bastards #domestic max p #max p AU #single dad max p #this is for eri