#I wish I could live without you

[mamulgogi]

Redraw of my favourite panel from issue #21 of Posehn & Duggan's run

#this run was fantastic and also have me trauma I loved it #100/10 I recommend #inserting song lyrics I assigned to this piece just because I can #from telephones by vacations: #I wish I could live without you #sunny draws #but you're a part of me #whenever I go #You'll always be next to me #......now imagine he's thinking that about himself #and no matter how much he wants to hide from or get rid of himself #he can't #deadpool #wade wilson #deadpool fanart

[thyandrawrites]

It's all about Nagi living alone in a tiny one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with zero personality and Reo having a whole floor for himself but still living surrounded by tacky-expensive home decor with no apparent traces of his actual personality, either. It's all about how Nagi's parents haven't visited him in 2 years nor taken an interest in his life since, while Reo's are content to live floors apart from their teenage son, only taking an interest in what value he can bring to Mikage Corp but being otherwise uninvolved in / dismissive of his actual life. It's all about them being surrounded by people and still not knowing how to form a meaningful connection with another person before meeting each other. It's all about them being so starved for genuine human warmth to combat their bone-deep loneliness that they both treasure memories of tiny, inconsequential moments where they were spending time with their parents. Something something it's this line,

and how it describes them both despite being said about Reo. It's them being awkward 17-year-olds who had never before had an equal who would just respect them as they are and unconditionally look their way. In this essay I will-

#Blue lock #Blue lock spoilers #Mikage reo #Nagi seishirou #Bllk thoughts #This chapter was sooooo good #Gosh. Just as I was grumpy about epinagi getting boring without all the emotional deep dives that made it so interesting in the first place #They go and give us this bonus chapter. What a feast #I wish every month could be like this #This gave so much perspective to why they are the way they are #Most of it is not new information but I really loved all the foiling in this omake #Truly drives it home how both get their drive from their partnership bc they crave meaningful connections #Like. I had a whole post about how they're both each other first friend #And even then it couldn't have prepared me to the reveal of reo living in a whole ass empty skyscraper by himself #Did you also notice the distinct lack of soccer paraphernalia in his house or was that just me #Heck there isn't even a single soccer ball in sight... #And he calls Nagi's room void #Gosh they're both so fascinating #Of course they're bored out of their mind before meeting each other. Imagine being that understimulated and that lonely #I'm surprised they're this functional tbh. If anything they should be More mentally ill #I sure would lose it after a week at Reo's place #At least nagi owns mangas come on

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her #but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son #just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead #so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options #that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive #thinking about it makes me go feral #they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible #and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too #but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye #percy jackson #sally jackson #pjo #hoo #percy and sally #percy jackon and the olympians #whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work #and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts #don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him #but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore? #and he knows that's not true but what if? #i'm thinking it #okay i think that's enough

[wolfram-but-art]

i thought i'd draw this since there's a lot of people that decided to follow me recently, felt adequate to finally introduce myself. also because it seems fun to do

#meet the artist #erm idk what else to tag this as #so i'll just talk hello i am wolfram #i kinda forgot to say that in the post.... #i guess you could tell that from my name tho #so its not like it matters much #also you'll notice that summer is missing from the list of things i like #because i hate summer and idc what anybody tells me #i cant go get a glass of water without sweating like crazy #it's bullshit and honsetly i wish i lived in antarctica #i hate it #anways i think thats enough tags #bai #self sona

[4ce-of-2pades]

(Leo speaking to Hephaestus:)

Leo: I used to think I was creative. I used to think I was smart. I used to take pride in the things I invented. But it’s just you, isn’t it? Everything I’m good at, everything I like about myself, it’s just your powers I inherited. If I wasn’t your son, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this. I wouldn’t be good at anything.

Leo: I thought that I had earned this. That I had learned when my mom taught me about machines, that I had built my abilities myself. But it’s all just shortcuts and fakery. It’s just god magic. It’s not real. It’s not mine.

#like it’s one thing if your power is water attack or turn into bees or something inhuman #but I imagine a lot of demigods have crises like this one #with powers that enhance qualities they already had so they’ll never know who they would have been without a god making them ‘better’ #like if Annabeth’s power is her intellegence? she can’t even take credit for her own mind (by this logic) #for a non-charmspeaking Aphrodite kid with a less unnatural level of making people like them? #when you can’t tell what is and isn’t magical affects then how do you know anyone would ever like you for your normal non-goddy self? #what about Hypnos kids who wish they didn’t constantly feel tired and could manage to Do more with their lives? #like imagine your special magic godly enhancement is Cannot Stay Awake and it’s a struggle to complete even simple tasks. thanks I guess. #there’s probably examples I’m not thinking of #but powers that enhance rather than add??? it’s like there’s parts of your identity that don’t belong to you #at least that’s how I would feel about it probably #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #leo valdez #hoo leo #pjo hephaestus

[ghouljams]

I was wondering, do Love and Liebling ever see what’s hiding under the obscuras? Do they ever know the true face of the monsters beneath the masks? Liebling got a little peek when fae!König first arrived. I’m so curious what ghost and König are really hiding 👀

I hope you have a wonderful vacation in Spain, and that you get to rest and relax while you’re there!

Liebling sees through Ghost's obscura every time he enters the shop and it scares the shit out of her every time. That said she is only seeing his mask, not his real face. I don't think she would ever get to see his real face tbh, but it's not for her to see so *shrug*. König on the other hand very much does show her his face. He's very nervous about it but she asks and he can't say no to her. (Un)Surprisingly she likes his true face a lot, mostly because it's him but König still wears his hood around her. Mostly for his own comfort.

Ghost drops his obscura for Love after a lot of coaxing, and when she complains that she meant his face not a mask he hesitantly shows her that as well. He is painfully human under his mask, desperately clinging to the fae wild but... it's there plain to see, what once was and what their children will look like. Love adores his true face, and he gets used to dropping his mask and obscura at the door when he gets home. I think the human face he shows normally is pretty close to his true face, just less. I don't know how to describe it, but it's not as much Simon as his true face is. Like with Soap I think he looks too alive, just past human, like the light on an angler fish he's enticing. But he's also scarred under the mask, and that's what I think he's hiding more than his humanity.

#thank you for the well wishes!!!! #ghoul speaks #im so fucking delayed at the airport #typing away at my big queued posts and thinking about the fae boys #this is a lot about them #a lot about Ghost #like i said in a previous post i think Ghost used to be human and was stolen by the fae #turned into a hunter for the wild court without a say in the matter #its why he lives on the fringes of fae society now #why hes so feared and why he owes Price a life debt #fae au #i could write essays on Fae Ghost

[queertemporality]

i have admitted a want and/or need. this is tantamount to admitting weakness. now i must go and fold my arms behind my back and contemplate the wall for the next six months

#post #i love this for me #i’ll be like ‘m-maybe we should hang out’ and then i have to go pretend I don’t have feelings for like 6 months #someone recently was like ‘it comes off like you don’t like people’ and im like huh wonder why that is #surely not my avoidant behaviors leading you to conclude that I don’t care #I do wish I could like um express literally anything without um wanting to crawl into a hole about it #like sorry! sorry I said that. I need to go become my father for a while. to cope. you know? #still obsessed with the way my one friend will be like ‘I love hanging out and talking to you’ #and an hour later my brain will be like ‘she basically said she hates you and she never wants to see you again’ #like can I live beyond the shadow of my mother

[uncanny-tranny]

The reality of being a survivor is that the person or people who hurt you might just get to live full, rich lives and leave you behind. It's a perverse feeling, and it's true that that is fucked up. It feels like they still control you even when they're out of your life, and you feel trapped. However, you still deserve to be happy, to be fulfilled. Your life hasn't ended because they stole parts of it. They will never truly be able to take the essence of who you are.

Remembering this has taken the edge off of this thought. I won't ever give my abusers that power over me ever again. They never fucking deserved that.

#recovery #abuse #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #you can ABSOLUTELY grieve and be furious. you are entitled to those emotions and i think you're right to feel that way #but don't for a second buy into the idea that you don't deserve a good life. you DO. they fucked up and that's no reflection on you #you deserve so many good things #like... i do wish i could sit down with my abusers and fucking lay into them. but that's not possible #they're living their lives without a single thought as to their actions. they probably don't care that they ruined my life #so i won't empower them further by letting their influence transcend their presence #and that's HARD to do. it take effort and it's a daunting task #i don't blame people if they find that hard to do or think about #but i want to remind you that one day it might be easier. you'll get to a good spot #i believe in your ability to heal however that looks for you

[thechaotichorselord]

#silly #but damn #i wanna be that good #i want to be able to function and make friends #i want to draw like that #i want what they have #as you can see i am a jealous person #i wish i could live without limits #i want to live like other people do #ANYHOO #when the world went grey comic soon

[saintfaulkners]

one of my housemates is so fucking sensitive it turns me into a person I do not like

#like i always thought /i/ was 'overly' sensitive but my god. you cannot say ANYTHING around her #every little thing is too much for her everything is a trigger everything makes her tell you it wasn't okay for you to say around her or not #warning her about first like my sister in christ how the fuck should i have known this was a problem for you #maybe print out a trigger list and send it to all of us or something #but breathing is probably on there so #truly i hate how i sound i don't want to be like this but she's just playing the victim so severely it makes me aggressive it's like. primal #and I don't care when she flees from the room all the time when we're just having normal conversations because honestly I'm glad when she's #gone but she projects her issues onto everyone and everything around her like she cannot comprehend that maybe she has a fucking problem and #should maybe learn to deal with the fucking world #people aren't horrible for simply existing around you being themselves like. ny god it just makes me so furious #like i am AWARE that i have deficits; things that are easy for other people or come natural to them that i have issues with and that's fine #I'm learning to live in my way #and i can still love myself and not blame myself for having these problems without turning everyone around me and the whole fucking world #into the problem instead #i don't know if I'm even conveying what i mean #it's just this fucking victim complex that's driving me up the walls #she sees herself as so innocent and actually she's treating people like shit #man do i wish i could smoke about this

[chipjrwibignaturals]

god i wish trans healthcare was just like. a fuckin casual thing. i wish i could go to my doc and be like ‘hey this is the result i want: what hormones & methods would be best to achieve it’ or even just like. ‘hey i wanna try this’. i wish that level of comfort on the topic and respect for bodily autonomy was just a thing instead of having to go so far in depth into diagnosis and full social transition and all that just to get Proper Medical Advice And Treatment

#like. not to tmi but im afab and im fine w that #i enjoy a lot of it but. i think i would like some amt of bottom growth— not a full penis or anything #just yknow. expand what i got. #but. I can’t DO THAT. #for one without the other effects of testosterone and like. IS there a way I could get that with lesser other effects? probably! #but who’s to say! im not seeing a doctor abt it! #least of all bc I doubt it would ever work (even ignoring that I live in a red state) bc so much current trans healthcare is. full binary #I don’t want to be a man nor do I want to posit myself as one to Get T yknow. #I just wish it was more normal and cool to just. Do That. bc you can or want to. no explanation or whatever required

[redladydeath]

random opinion: hazbin hotel s1 would’ve been better as a stage show

#like. I quite like the soundtrack #and making it a stage production would kind of solve a lot of the pacing problems #with television we have higher expectations for longer-term character development #versus musicals where a character’s introduction can totally be a song and no one will bat an eye #redlady speaks #new trend; instead of redesigning the characters you make costume designs instead #tbh it wouldn't be that hard #basically all of the characters are humanoid #and you could get creative with expressing each of their themes without directly replicating their show looks #it's ironic how a show born out of 2d art ended up making me kind of wish it was live action #hazbin posting

[just1gnome]

"that sounds tediously boring"

gnome beat the game

here they are on the boat

#SPOILERS BELOW !!!!!! #they are so precious to me i dont know what i would do without them #ive been insanely emotional about them since last night #i wish you could see how the other characters are doing before the credits #thats my one gripe i wanna know what shadowhearts up to #SHOW ME THE CELEBRATION YALL KEEP TALKING ABOUT !!!! #i want to see them happy and hanging out and smiling :((( #also im sure theres some way to avoid this but karlach does live in their basement and they do feed her brains #all in all its a pretty good set up #shes not gonna explode any time soon and theyre all roommates #could be worse #i do mean she volunteered to turn illithid btw and from where i was standing that looked like the best option #she looks a little weird now but thats still my Best Friend karlach #im sure lae'zel will visit on holidays.... #shes like the cool aunt you only see for family reunions i think #ALSO HEY LARIAN ? I ROMANCED THE FUCK OUT OF HALSIN !!!! I SHOULD GET AN EPILOGUE SCENE WITH HIM TOO !!!!!!! #i shouldve brought him with me but gale...... the carefully crafted narrative that lives only in my head........ #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion #astarion fanart #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin #bg3 tav #my art

[thirstyvampyr]

oh we broke up again

#*jerk off hand gesture* #i told him ''we're not even friends'' #we dont even hang out or do shit together #sometimes i go weeks without saying more than a few words out loud i just listen to him complain all day #i just cook and clean #do his paperwork #he pays the bills #im a fucking bang maid #watching a loving relationship on my screen is making me wish i had someone i could laugh with #i havent been kissed in years because he doesnt know how to and it's awkward as hell everytime i try to teach him #i should just kms i cant live like this any more #cant have her enjoy one thing once in a while you know gotta ruin it every which way

[doberbutts]

🎶 It's been a long day without you, my friend.

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.

We've come a long way from where we began.

Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. 🎶

#came on while I was driving to work yesterday #first time I've cried since I started T #miss you stink #best boy #I am having a lot of feelings this week because this weekend is the culmination of the last 9 years #I wouldn't have anything I have now without you #and as I begin to start this journey over again #I can't do anything but think about how grateful I am that you were my dog #I love you Creed #I wish you could still be here #there's only 3 or 4 of your litter left now #I just wish you were one of them #your legacy lives on through my girls #and through the dedication litter #I look at them and I see you #thank you for being my dog #you saved me #I hope I did good by you

[greencarnation]

The whole world is watching in silent horror. At first I thought it was silent indifference but look: all you have to do is say the word "Gaza" and it's like the entire room you're in is plunged under water. Everyone drops their gazes and looks sick, silence settles like a dust carpet.

But this is good, see, because most people only need a kick up the ass to turn their silent horror into loud horror. The outrage and disgust is THERE. This is why it's so important to act, to speak out. If every person who felt horrified about this was to act we could see so much change. It starts with you, though. Lead by example

#if i hadn't paid attention to this and completely disengaged the outcome would he exactly the same #the same amount of people would die and the same amount of lives would be destroyed #but if every single person like me had stayed quiet then yeah fuck knows how this would be #stop thinking of yourself as an individual with individual power and start thinking of us as a collective #what we (the people the proletariat the masses whatever you want to call us) can do #i'm so sick of people going omg its so horrible i wish i could do something but i can't 😔🥺 #yeah you can we all can and the sooner people do that the better #you can't have the crowds without the individuals #idk. im just frustrated because everyone i know is horrified and everything but only very very few are actually speaking up #honestly in this case id say there's no such thing as performative activism #any activism and awareness helps okay? #palestine #gaza #israel #free palestine