#I would have adored that

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[egophiliac]

C'MON TO THE THEATER!

I love these guys so much. forget NRC, I want to attend their terrible disaster school for disaster children that might actually be plastered on top of the smoking remains of an actively sinking ship. I may or may not actually learn anything, but I will have the time of my life.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #unique magic posters #so it was fellow after all and not gidel? whoops #i was merely overthinking it #me? overthink fictional characters? surely not #god though #i can't not love a guy who gets the cutest most adorable power #and instantly goes 'i shall use this for Crimes' #also every time he was like 逃げる! my brain auto-translated it as CHEESE IT! #accompanied by twst's running-away sound effect which is just the quintessential sound of someone cheesing it #if i could have (1) twst spinoff it would be the adventures of these two idiots trying to do an education #they would have a stodgy bureaucrat antagonist who keeps trying to catch them in their sleazy corner-cutting ways and shut them down #(OF COURSE there would be a bit where they are trying to host an unforgettable luncheon but egads! their roast is ruined!) #and all while they're trying to evade being hunted down by the playful land investors #the hijinks would be SO wacky you guys #i've made myself sad now because this will never exist #it's real in my HEART

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The girls are here!!!

#dungeon meshi #maizuru #inutade #izutsumi #benichidori #hien #Was this the Kabru episode that really shows off how perceptive and fascinated by humans to be a foil to Laios"s monster obsession? #Sure was. Was the funny comic I made not yet quite relevant for where the anime is currently at? SURE WAS. #Funny comic will be next week. This week is for THE GIRLS!!! #Tade is adorable and a lot of fun to draw. I really love her friendship with Izutsumi. #speaking of...IZUTSUMI IS FINALLY HERE! #Initially I wasn't going to draw Beni and Hien but I would hate to let the few fans they have. #So here's some Beni and Hien. For all five of you Beni and Hein fans. #Makeup girls are wild because they'll be like 'I'm getting ready to go out!' and then take 60-90 min in front of the mirror. #I adore the bonus comics where Ryoto Kui does the step by steps of how characters do their makeup and hair. #I personally know very little about those things so it's cool to see how thought out it all is.

[canisalbus]

Real fan art is coming one day, but for now I really wanted to see if it was feasible to simplify their gradients into something that would fit a simple style like Bluey’s 😅

.

#aaaaaaaaaAAA #they're so precious I can't ;m; #I still haven't watched Bluey so I can't really comment on show accuracy but to me these look spot on #if you ask me the gradients work really well #if you look at them and unfocus your eyes they look like their normal markings #Vasco might benefit from having one more band between the base yellow and the lighter brown but that's totally optional and might take away #from the simplicity of his design #their colors are so true to the way I color them which is both cool and kind of uncanny #like Machete's pink details which in reality are very peachy almost closer to light orange than true pink #and their colored linearts which use the same colors I use for my colored linearts #I don't know I thought that was really cool attention to detail #they're adorable #thank you! #gift art #apupcalyptic #own characters #Machete #Vasco #their lives would be a lot less stressful in bluey universe I reckon

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 261

“So is no one going to talk about the eldritch space child or…” 

“I mean, do you want to get between a child and Batman? I think the only one who could even get close right now is Superman…” 

“No you’re right, I think- oh my god the eldritch space child is playing with batman’s bat-ears and he’s not doing anything about it what the fuck I thought only Robins could get away with that-” 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Alfred is Clockwork #AndCW having adopted Danny means Danny gets to meet his new big brother from another timeline #Bruce (Once Alfred confirms) is absolutely attached within moments #Autistic bois unite & talk for hours about hyperfixations #Clark has had time to make an entire homemade pie at this point #No Danny isn’t ghost king nor is Clockwork Cronus #Bruce: I have only had a baby brother for 5 hours but if anything happens to him I will let my kids break all the rules & kill everyone her #Signal: Yeah definitely Alfred’s he glows like him and everything #The rest of the bats: Alfred does what now- #Danny with dozens of big star eyes to Bruce: How would you feel about sisters #Bruce holding 3 children & 1 young adult: I am big brother now #Alfred scathingly says that Someone in the family *cough Jazz cough* will at least finish college & get their degree #Sometimes CW enjoys turning off his future-vision and vibing as a mostly-mortal #And Gotham is an old war buddy of his (Yes Gotham is the city equivalent of an Ancient) from the [Redacted] era of the Realms #And xer son & daughter are adorable- Bludhaven & Arkham love the vigilantes lots

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

Just For Him

Knowing Danny's family and his time as a hero you would think that Danny would grow up having a similar job, and so did he honestly!

That was until he put on a pair of skates and stepped onto the ice.

Maybe it had something to do with his ice core that made his movements on the ice feel more natural than any other kind of ground under his feet.

Once he was on the ice he felt like a completely different person, confident in every single step, in the way he would spin and jump- using a bit of his ghostliness to gain more air time in his jumps.

The entire sensation on that ice was freeing,

invigorating,

peaceful.

It was just him and the ice under his blades.

It felt like everything in his life was for someone else, his creations his protections all of it that he would gladly give to those who need it and to his loved ones.

But when was the last time he had anything that was just for him.

For him to enjoy

For him to find unrestrained happiness from

Just for him

So no, while it was surprising to everyone around him including himself at the direction his life turned to he couldn't be happier.

He now traveled a lot for his competitions & own fun, with a very happy Ellie tagging along to support him and enjoy what the world had to offer.

" We have arrived at our destination. Welcome to Gotham."

~

Just an idea

#Ice skater Danny au #number 1 fan Ellie #inspired by some yoi fan art I saw & went “ yup ice skater Danny would be fun” #also his love interest could be one of the bats and have a very Viktor/Yuuri dynamic. #just think that would be super adorable #plus imagine the drama! #older danny #danny fenton #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp crossover #dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #danny phantom #dc x dp #batman

[albaharu]

they are frenemies ...they like disliking one another....frenemies ... they're like my less favorite brother

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldur's gate #astarion #astarion ancunin #tav #prudencia tav #cookie for whoever gets the ref #anyways everyone adored me for arc 3 and then. there was astarion #so many convers and content with him missing but i do love their dinamic is fun to have him as kinda rivals but pals #annoying each other but would fight for each other #next game i will befriend him tho ..... or i will try #comic

[ashleyeveerson]

Haven't been able to think about anything other than the victorian/edwardian/WW1 twink and his 80's punk almost-boyfriend for a week, send help

#this tv show has consumed my every thought #it's like tumblr catnip #go watch it #it will eat away at your brain #there's also a butch lesbian butcher #an autistic manga loving weirdo (my beloved) #and a badass psychic who's also a mess #WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT? #updating the post bc the reblogs lead me on a WILD wiki rabbit hole about the eras of England #okay so Edwin is born in 1900 which means he was born 1 year before the end of the Victorian era (1837-1901) so technically he's a victoria #baby who lived his childhood in the Edwardian era (1901-1910) and his teens in the pre/start of WW1 era (started in 1914) #until he was killed :( in 1916 #so my boy here lived though MANY historical events and time periods #shout out to my victorian/edwardian/WW1 twink #history is very fun and this is why i love this website bc where else would i have to do research for my blorbo? #I do however find it very funny if Gaiman named him Edwin in honour of the Edwardian time period he grew up in #I love that man and it wouldn't surprise me if he turned out to be a history nerd (affectionate) like the rest of you #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko dbd #dbd #please feel free to dm me about history i adore it

[puddii-ng]

big fan of the new kids,,

#enstars #my art #fanart #ensemble stars #shu itsuki #mika kagehira #shumika #taki ibuki #ibuki taki #sagiri esu #esu sagiri #fuyume hanamura #hanamura fuyume #natsu kanna #kanna natsu #raika hojo #hojo raika #is that everyone? #4piece #i think #little doodle tag #anyway #i think it would be really cute if mika got along with all the new kids cause they remind him of the orphanage kids #that would be adorable #nice come collect your kids #before shumika swipe them up hashtag parenting #anyhow #i love the new kids theyre so cute oh my god #i have so many fun little drawing ideas for them #"oshisan can we keep em?' PLEASE SAY YES

[crystalflygeo]

Ok but imagine dragon!Zhongli fills you up with eggs and by the time they hatch you end up with a bunch of tiny baby dragons squirming around like worms. What'd you do then??

WHAT'D I DO?? TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN OF COURSE???

"Worms", the audacity they are dragons and they are my precious babies omg

But fr tho imagine like a dozen of tiny baby noodles with a bit of fur and tiny stubby horns just curling up on your lap or around you as you sleep, draped around your shoulder, on top of your head (and Zhongli's) that is so cute pls too adorable. 💕

I'd imagine they'd be still too weak/young to fly let alone shapeshift so they're housebound, zhongli and you have to take turns watching them and going out to do stuff. Also since they're dragons/reptiles they wouldn't need milk?? rather probably just smol pieces of meat or like soft food aaaaaaaaaaaa too cute imagine feeding them with a spoon carefully.

Until they start teething that it, then they become lil menaces, biting everything on sight including each other when play fighting and/or their father (lmao) Zhongli would make small crystals they can bite into instead of destroying everything 💕

Speaking of their father imagine Zhongli feeling the urge to take dragon form just so he can curl around them and soothe them in a way they'd be more instinctually comfortable with (PAPA DRAGON ZL INSTINCTS RUNNING WILD IMAGINE HIM LICK-BATHING THEM SVCGAHBAK 🥺💕💕💕) tho they 1000% recognize you as mama and like to burrow in your hair or under your shirt (babies noooo) and just be close to/on top of you at all times

JUST A BUNCH OF TINY NOODLE BABY DRAGONS I WOULD WEEP I WOULD CRY like I did these???? I made them with my husband?? my babies??

smth like this is you will AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#crys answers #PLS IMAGINE JUST TRYING TO CARRY A BUNCH OF BABY NOODLES AND THEY GET TANGLED TOGETHER AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #I would adore being a dragon mama #zl can fill me up with eggs yep yep indeed #imagine their tiny scales and manes would have different shades of brown and whatever your hair color is #and at first you tell them apart by that #IMAGINE ONCE THEY LEARN TO FLY THO OH GOD #zhongli and you herding a bunch of floating ribbons #pls this is too cute I love it

[soupdreamer]

hey brennan what the fuck

#the emotional whiplash of this episode was genuinely insane i think i was about to burst into tears at some point and then they cut to the #fucking commercial. vic michaelis and brennan lee mulligan i ADORE you brennan you did not have to go as hard as you did on this one #this felt like a literal fever dream #like i don't even know if i fully understand it rn the last bit w vic and the radio was a bit open to interpretation #ALL of it felt open to interpretation but like. in an insane way #someone suggested host vic has dreams of/hallucinates these guests to escape from the mundanity of her real job and they try to teach smth #i dont like the dream trope but that would be v interesting #someone also said they were in a time loop which would be. intriguing #anyways i will miss this show so much someone said it was greenlit for s2 too so i'm crossing my fingers thats legit #vip spoilers #very important people spoilers #very important people #dropout #vic michaelis #brennan lee mulligan #vip

[mynabirb]

melting wings were worth it to meet you

#minoharu #the girl who aimed for the brightest star #and the star who fell for her #i adore how much they care about and respect each other fr #icarus failed but minori would probably have collected her wax feathers and remade her wings again and again and again tbh #more more jump #mmj #haruka kiritani #minori hanasato #project sekai #pjsk #my art #greek au #prsk fa #illustration

[egophiliac]

What do you think of Rook's savanaclaw card? <333

I didn't get him (and I need to save my keys for Silver's birthday, sob) so I looked up his groovy, and I'm not over how incredibly dramatic and epic and cool it looks in direct contrast to the absolutely ridiculous context. just look at that dynamic action and his majestic sparkling tears and keep in mind that this is pretty much right after a bunch of characters have been dance battling for his soul.

and then even the actual moment of the groovy is just like

this is NOT a negative in the slightest, I love it all, this truly was an incredible update in so many ways

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers #to be fair it's not COMPLETELY wacky there is actual drama going on #but that's inbetween rook's dream-vil and neige being totally hilarious at each other #'i shan't let you hurt this beautiful child!' 'vil no! if they were to harm your beauty i would be crushed by sorrow!' <- actual dialogue #also neige seeing vil as a mother figure. it's WONDERFUL and i hope real-vil never finds out because this would kill him #just like he killed neige multiple times in his own dream! :) #there was so much wild stuff in this update and not in the least was that the second time vil realized he was in a dream #his reaction was to KILL EVERYONE and cackle maniacally about it #god forbid a queen do anything i guess #anyway i also love the contrast between what i assumed savanarook would be like and what he was actually like #'he looks so wild...what kind of dangerous dream will this mighty hunter have...' #oh no he's actually just an adorable movie geek who is SO EXCITED to share his hyperfixation with us #somehow less intimidating than regular rook #and yet still a delightful little freak. his BEDROOM #the background artist went SO ham on it. truly the magnum opus of twst backgrounds #there are a bunch of little details it is SO worth zooming in on #(including a tiny little picture of che'nya! which...actually i think that implies rook may have stolen an rsa yearbook or something) #(that's our rook! /sitcom laugh track)

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Talia found Yasmin's hide out only two days after the bomb.

It wasn't easy. Yasmin had hidden herself well - her monthly reports had never mentioned an acquaintanceship with Vladimir Masters, the absolute gall of that girl - in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin. She bypassed the few security measures with ease, eventually finding her daughter sitting at a kitchen table, hyperventilating.

"What happened?" Talia's voice was cold and demanding.

"The-" Yasmin gasped before stealing herself. "The Fentons are dead."

"I know the Fentons are dead." Talia circled the girl. "One split navel to throat, the other strangled. What. Happened?"

"The Fentons discovered their son was a Meta. Specifically, they thought he had been replaced with the extradimentional species they study." She took a deep breath. "By the time I had discovered their actions, Daniel was... dissected on a table."

Talia closed her eyes. She knew from Yasmin's reports that she'd been acting as the Fenton child's primary caretaker since her adoption and a fondness had developed. "Yasmin-"

"Don't, Mother." She snapped. "Don't act like this is anything less than a tragedy."

"I know-"

"He was a child-"

"Everything's been taken care of," Talia said. "As far as the authorities are concerned, Jasmine Fenton died in that explosion you caused. You need to return now-"

"No!" Yasmin bolted to her feet, glaring at Talia. "He's dead, Mother! An innocent child, the child I raised as my own, is dead because I couldn't protect him! Don't you dare try to sweep this under the rug like... like Danny was something shameful! I'm not leaving! I have to-"

Time Out.

Yasmin shut her mouth mid-sentence, giving Talia time to convince her off her self-destructive path.

"What happened to Daniel is a tragedy, Yasmin. But wallowing in grief and what-ifs only leads to further pain." Talia sighed. "The Fentons and the research you were so fascinated with are gone now. You made sure of that. It's time for you to return home and put that knowledge to use."

Yasmin stared down at her hands. Odd that Talia hadn't noticed, but Yasmin's hands cradled a small, dark blue jewel, polished into a smooth, oblong oval. It glittered under the candlelight, like stars in the sky.

Yasmin swallowed the rock and spoke, refusing to acknowledge what she'd just done. "You are right, Mother. The time of Jasmine Fenton is gone now." She stared straight at Talia, no trace of fear in her gaze. For a moment, Talia wondered where her child had gone. Yasmin never met her eyes unless prompted to when she was growing up. Now she was met with a younger version of herself with cheap dyed-red hair, with the same level of determination that made Talia the Right Hand of the Demon Head. "I will mourn for Danny... on my own time. For now, what is my mission?"

Talia studied her daughter. There was a reason why she'd hidden the girl so far out of the way of her Father and her son. Yasmin was a strong fighter, but had her father's heart, despite her willingness to kill. She'd always reminded Talia of a bodyguard rather than an assassin, but Yasmin wanted to go her own way, wanted to study everything. For years, Talia had indulged her daughter, but now it was time for her to return to the fold.

"For the next month, you will be training to remove any weakness the Fentons may have left in you. After that, you will be guarding an ally for me."

"Which ally?"

"A boy a few years older than you, a son of the Bat." Yasmin didn't react to the mention of her father. Good. "His mind is infirm, but by the time you finish your training, he will be ready to strike a blow against Gotham. You will act as his guard during his training and act as my spy while he's in Gotham. Do you understand?"

For a moment, Yasmin's hand brushed her stomach before she forced her fists to her sides. "Yes, Mother. I will do as you ask."

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #jasmine al ghul #yasmin al ghul #c: talia al ghul #c: clockwork #c: danny fenton #reincarnated danny fenton #Or re-grown might be the better term #danny needs to regrow his human body after the Fentons killed him #danny could have been reincarnated properly; it would have taken a few years maybe decades but it would have happened #clockwork gives Jazz/Yasmin the choice to raise Danny as her own son from her own blood #and when Jazz compares her life as an assassin/spy to that as Danny's (sweet loving Danny who adored her) caretaker #she knows which life she can't live without #also Yasmin does know Damian exists but has never met him #she knows there's a heir and knows its her full-blooded brother but that's it - no emotional connection so she doesn't care #I can see this ending up Anger Management with a side of pre-reveal Red Hood Jason thinking he's the baby daddy #with Jazz violently disagreeing with that assumption

[rambles-about-minecraft-ocs]

one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible

like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that

#zedaph #hermitcraft #genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post #i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-'' #only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed #and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected #not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits #but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on #and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place'' #at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE' #i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line #bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa #sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare #idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then #so maybe its not nearly as rare these days #but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8 #when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him #and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people #so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video

[magicandmundane]

Hunter: Fuck it. Let’s go back to Kamino and adopt that kid.

Wrecker, Tech, and Echo: Adopt—? Yeah okay, we’ve done weirder shit.

Crosshair: With all due respect, which is none at this point, what the fuck is wrong with you

#this has probably been done before but i’m currently rewatching the whole series #and WOW is s1 a trip #especially being fresh out of s3 #hunter almost instantly adored omega and i love it (except for that eye roll in the cafeteria scene lol) #wrecker tech and echo were just along for the ride and grew kinda fond of her pretty quickly #and crosshair hated her guts #which is SO FUNNY since s3 has me convinced that if he’d just had 5 more minutes with her in that cell in ep1 #he would have been ride or die for her so much sooner lol #the bad batch #tbb season 1 #tbb incorrect quotes #clone force 99 #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb crosshair #tbb omega