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#I’m onto you Oli
saerins · 1 year
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─── 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒
+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 4k | content: angst, best friends to lovers to strangers type beat, i did not proof this besties
notes: lmao me , thinking i could get away from this man . guess who’s back with more sae ??? <3
summary: you’re the one sae can’t get over. he’s beginning to think he never will.
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the freshly cooked bread is on the floor. it litters the nice marble tiles. the chit of paper with the order writes mr. rin hatoki.
“i'm tired of this, sae.”
sae doesn't say a word. he's listless, sitting on the kitchen table, staring at his own reflection on the glass, wondering where it all went wrong.
“why don't you love me anymore?”
it's weird. he can hear the sorrow. he can feel the pain. yet he feels nothing.
“what does she have that i don’t?”
maybe you're right. maybe he's an asshole. maybe this is his punishment.
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the first time sae laid eyes on you, you were five and he was six.
he saw you playing with rin on the slides, and he remembers the way you smiled at him when rin told you sae was his older brother.
and even back then, even if it was a tiny crush based on superficial reasons like how sae liked your smile or your eyes or the way your hands felt on his when you locked hands and forced him to play with you and rin, he remembers you mocking rin and calling sae nii-chan.
sae remembers how he cringed inside because no. no no, he didn’t want you calling him that because that wasn’t what he wanted you to know him for. he didn’t know what he wanted exactly, but definitely not an older brother.
"itoshi-kun!"
“sae,” he corrected you, watching as you ran up to him on the field.
he loved the soft smile you wore on when you heard him. he especially loved the first time you said his name.
“sae.”
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the first time he saw you cry, it was when you scraped your knee after some boys accidentally pushed you over.
you were nine.
sae scared them away afterwards.
you weren’t exactly sobbing—he found out you were funny like that, like you wanted to cry but didn’t want to let anyone see. but it was frustrating because sae wasn’t just anyone. or so he liked to think.
“get on,” sae told you, getting down on one knee with his back turned to you.
“what?” you sniffled, vision still blurry from your would-be tears.
sae craned his neck to look back at you, a faint smile on his face. “come on, i’ll carry you home.”
“i’m not weak, you know,” you argued, and sae would’ve told you to just accept his offer when he realised you already did, obediently climbing onto his back and wrapping your arms around his neck.
it was a relatively silent walk back. sae could hear the rapid beating of your heart though.
maybe it was a tiny crush too. the kind that stuck with you for three years and four months and threatened to stick with you for the rest of your life.
“hey, sae?”
“hm?”
a pregnant pause. you held him tighter before ultimately loosening your grip.
“mm, nothing.”
sae really wanted to hear you. but he let it go.
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it was torture, really—you were fifteen when you got your first boyfriend. some guy called oliver aiku. who looked way too old for you, by the way, but fine, if you said he was only a year older than sae, who was he to question you?
sae hated it, really. watching you at the swings, laughing along with him, watching oli feed you ice cream. and you said oliver was a good striker too? sae bet he was better.
what did he have that sae didn’t?
and sae thought he’d love to witness the day when the two of you broke up. but he never counted on the fact that you’d be a mess when your heart was broken.
you ignored sae and rin for a couple of weeks, choosing to stay isolated, refusing to see anyone. you weren’t even replying sae’s texts.
[17:34] hey y/n, pick up the phone, idiot.
[17:34] rin misses you.
okay so that last part was a lie, but it was fine, rin didn’t have to find out.
[17:35] hey sae. :)
[17:35] hmm… so you don’t miss me?
sae had to do a double take at your text. since when did you become this cheeky? he didn’t even know why he was suppressing a smile.
it took him less than a minute before he got up.
[17:36] maybe.
[17:37] be at your place in 10, let’s get ice cream.
funny how he wanted to replace all of oliver’s memories. sae wanted you to lick the ice cream that he was holding. sae wanted you to play on the swings with him. everything him, no other stupid boys who would make you cry, who didn’t deserve you.
that was exactly what sae did—asked you what you did with oliver. you’d answer him, and he’d do the exact same with you, and he’d rewrite all the memories you thought would be so hard to forget, the very same memories you thought would be impossible to replace. yet sae did it, replaced the bad with the good.
sae wasn’t a mind reader, he couldn’t tell what you were thinking as he got you ice cream and fed it to you, couldn’t tell if you liked how he walked with his arm around your shoulder. couldn’t tell if you knew what he was doing.
he wished that you knew how he felt—then that’d make one of you. because sae had no clue.
“hey, sae?”
“hm?”
he got deja vu there.
and this time, you continued.
“do you do this for other girls too?”
sae nearly choked on that question because no, he didn’t do nearly as much for other people in general. you were the only one he’d ever put this much effort to.
“no.”
he can still remember your little smile to this day. it was pretty, even prettier since it was because of him. it was like a silent knowledge you both shared—you didn’t want him to do that for other girls, and he didn’t want to share you with other boys.
simple, but complicated. complicated because you were both shit at feelings and shit at admitting but it was still beautiful, if only because neither of you ever strayed.
back then.
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“what about a house?”
“i’ll buy you the nicest, cosiest one there is.”
“anywhere in the world?”
sae nodded. “anywhere you want.”
“i want to open a bakery one day. you gonna help me with that?”
“i’ll help you with anything you want.”
you giggled. “yeah? you and what money, sae?”
he rolled his eyes, resting his head against his palm, elbow propped up on your study table. “when i become the best soccer player in the world, genius.”
sae flicked your forehead gently, as he remembers he liked to, smiling softly when you winced in faux pain.
it’s funny how comfortable he felt talking about shit like that with you, only half-joking. it was an innocent conversation on how sae said he would be able to take care of you when you were both older. even if it wasn’t his place, even if he wasn’t even your boyfriend yet then.
“oh? so i’ll get the world’s best soccer player itoshi sae all to myself?”
it all sounded dreamy and attainable when you were both eighteen and sitting on cloud nine. when the both of you were dreamers with rose tinted glasses and honeyed tongues to match.
“is that a confession, y/n l/n?”
he remembers he caught you off guard. he knew because the way you behaved when you were flustered was already ingrained in his mind. the way you fumbled over your words, the way you couldn’t hold eye contact, the way you made him melt with how you seemed so vulnerable for a split second.
“what if it was?”
that was the first time you ever managed to render him speechless. only because of how honest you were being. only because sae wanted you to want him and you did and then he was reduced to some infatuated idiot.
“good, me too.”
and maybe that was his first mistake. when he didn’t make sure you knew he wanted you for more than just that moment, that he had wanted you for a long time coming.
maybe that was the first in line for the domino effect.
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life hit hard and fast by the time sae made a name for himself as one of the best midfielders in the world. he opened his eyes and saw that japan was not for him—he wanted more for himself, for his career.
sae wanted to move. and at the time, he wanted to bring you with him.
“how’s spain?”
it was the usual call the two of you had—a routine set in place because sae found he’d miss you too much if he didn’t hear from you for a while. it sucked that he couldn’t bring you with him now, not when he wasn’t best yet and not when you had a degree to finish.
“great, i play in the official match tomorrow, starting eleven.”
mundane updates about each other’s lives. he’d tell you about his soccer trainings and you’d fill him in on school. but for sae, it wasn’t enough. so he took a leap of faith this time, he was sure what he wanted.
“hey, what if we moved out here next time?” sae asked, cutting you off.
you stuttered, flustered and overwhelmed. in hindsight, maybe asking you that sort of thing when the both of you weren’t even officially together was kind of a stretch.
but sae had been sure at that point of time.
“there’s a lot to consider, sae.”
it was that tricky line where you were both more than friends but less than lovers and sae knew that over the phone wasn’t the ideal place to do it but he didn’t want to drag it on any longer.
“i mean, we’re not even together and we’re both just still kids, and—”
“then be mine.”
“i- what?”
for the first time, he was thinking about the future. and it had to be with you. he couldn’t imagine it another way. and when you agreed to be his that day, when you agreed you’d consider it for the future, sae was happier than he let on.
for the first time, the future was a little clearer. become the best midfielder, find a good forward worthy of his passes, and when all that was done and dusted, he’d always come back to you at the end of the day.
sae had thought hard about it.
but evidently not hard enough.
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reality hit like a truck.
because fast forward five years into the future and you had moved out to spain to be with sae, your future husband, the diamond ring nestled comfortably on your finger.
moving in with sae was fun, exciting. it was a new place, new continent, new start. sae was with you every step of the way, choosing the house, choosing the furniture. turned out, being one of the most in-demand soccer players paid way too well.
what sae never considered was the gravity of what he asked you to do—uproot your entire life to be with him. you were both still young and full of life and loved seeking thrills and you both failed to grasp what the consequences would be.
it was harder than you bargained; adjusting to the new country, learning a new language, making new friends and learning the culture. sae was a pivotal part of your support system, but sometimes he didn’t have a choice; he couldn’t be there for you a hundred percent. he had soccer, contracts to fulfil, people to please. you needed him more than you realised.
and when you moved in together, both of you saw sides to one another you never really saw before. like how you get frustrated when sae messes the entire bedroom up after you spent the entire day cleaning the mansion. or how sae shut down whenever he was having doubts about his team, his plays.
it was difficult. but it still worked.
for a while.
but arguments were getting more frequent. and sae forgot why he did this in the first place. maybe you should’ve spoken up more too, whenever something bothered you, then maybe you wouldn’t have felt this resentful.
you blamed sae for asking you to move out here. but it was what you wanted too.
it got to a point where there was an animosity between the both of you that you couldn’t handle. the type that made you sad because somehow sae turned into someone you didn’t even recognise.
“where’d you go last night?”
sae sighed, like you were a bother, but really you weren’t. he was just being a dick. it was never okay to just abandon your fiancé at home all because of a dumb fight which he couldn’t even remember by now.
“stayed over at the captain’s,” was all he told you. didn’t even bother explaining.
he wishes he did, then maybe you’d stop getting the idea that this relationship had hit a dead end.
“is that what we’re going to do now? just leave the other one alone, not talk when we fight?” you were soft, because you were tired. you’d been tired for a while.
you were tired. sae lost track of himself. everything was a mess and neither of you had the capability to handle it. sae was thinking maybe he made a mistake, and you were thinking it wasn’t too late to turn back. he couldn’t be bothered to remember how you got here in the first place, and he missed all the signs you gave him.
how you had stayed up late just to wait up for him whenever he had practice. how you agreed to be with him through everything and kept a smile on your face even when things were hard on you personally. how you cooked for two even when sae said he wouldn’t have time for dinners at home, just in case.
he’s sorry; you thought of him way too much, and he didn’t give you enough.
“sae, say something, please?” you were on the verge of tears, and he was on the verge of giving up.
sae knows what you wanted to hear now. but back then, he didn’t. he was too pressed on his own feelings that he just couldn’t find it in himself to think for you.
“what do you want me to say?”
you sat next to him on the couch, and he could hear you sniffling. he didn’t turn to look at you, didn’t ask about you, didn’t try to console you. for his own good. because he thought he knew where it was going, and it was better if he didn’t.
“sae… do you still want this?”
that was the first time he was unsure. because what he knew was that there was no one else for him. there was only you. he wanted only you, but everything turned out like this and he felt conflicted, tired.
he just wasn’t sure.
“i don’t know.”
but that was as good of an answer to you as any.
you’d watched him over the years. you’d tolerated all of his misgivings, you’d watched him train even when he was injured, even when you begged him to rest. you’d supported him throughout everything. you were everything to him, but at that moment, sae failed to tell you, and you couldn’t hold on to something that seemed so futile, something that was hanging on by a single thread.
something that might’ve snapped at any moment.
the next day, all sae woke up to was the engagement ring on his bedpost and your absence from his life.
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it’s been another five years since then.
sae’s back in japan. for some reason.
no, not some. just one. just you.
to think that up until now, sae still thinks of you. you’re always there somehow, in his memories. when he scores a goal, he still instinctively looks for your face in the crowd. when people interview him and ask him about possible partners, his first thought is your name. when he goes on his socials, he looks for you first. it’s habit.
sae’s jealous, still. even after four years apart. he still loves you. he’s still stupid. he’s still too late.
you’re happy now, if your posts are any indication. you live with him too. sae sometimes wishes he was him. then maybe he’d get to feel you again, be around you, hover over you and annoy you to no end. maybe he’d get to hear you call his name again.
but that’s a long shot.
you’re about to be mrs mikage soon. reo’s a lucky guy, whoever the fuck he is. sae hates him, but it’s biased. he’s probably good to you. he helped you build that bakery you always wanted, after all.
the bakery sae always orders from under a fake name because he doesn’t know whether you hate him and he’d rather not risk it. it’s the only way he knows how to hold on to you, to still feel close to you.
so he’s mr. rin hatoki.
“tell me!”
his girlfriend’s voice is shrill, it brings him back to the present, to his current predicament. to the fact that he’s been trying to put you in the past, but he’s not able to. and she knows it, too. she’s not dumb.
she probably stalked you ever since she first started dating him. she probably knew all along that the breakfasts sae buys for her is his pathetic excuse to just support your business. she probably knew that from the start, she stood no chance against you.
“i beg you, sae,” she’s crying now, and sae feels bad for regressing to this state, to hurting other people but most of all, he feels bad for flat out wishing she was you. “just break my heart already if you’re going to do it.”
two years with her down the drain. because he can’t forget about you.
sae doesn’t even look up at her because he’s filled with the vision of you smiling in his head. that’s all he’s staring at.
she asked what you had that she didn’t. and sae only knows the one answer is his heart.
“you’ll never be her.”
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sae stares at you from the driver’s seat. he’s parked on the opposite side of the road, it should be safely tucked away enough that you won’t notice.
you’re closing up. you look like an angel. you’re dawdling, slowly mopping up the floors, your hair so messy and you’re still so perfect.
he wants to go there, wants to run to you and hug you, wants to grip onto you and take back what he lost. but he of all people knows that’s impossible. so he stays in his driver’s seat, stays in his fantasies, stays away from you.
maybe he should just drive away. maybe he should stop pining for you. this is stupid.
especially stupid when he sees your future husband pull up and run up the sidewalk, runs into your arms, carries you and spins you around and presses a kiss onto your perfect nose.
sae can only vaguely make out what he’s saying.
“have a surprise for you at home, baby.”
and sae can’t tell what you said, but he can tell you love him by the slow, affectionate kiss you give him, the way you wrap your arms around his neck and laugh against each other’s lips.
“wait here for a bit, yeah?” reo tells you, and you nod, obedient.
it’s like a drug, now that he’s here, sae wants to stay and watch the show play out to the end. he watches as you store away your broom and mops and as reo walks back to his car—wait, no, fuck, he’s walking to sae’s car.
fuck fuck fuck.
reo makes sure you’re back in your bakery and out of view before he smiles at sae. “i’m very honoured that a world-class soccer player is stalking us,” reo beams at him the moment sae winds down his windows. “wanna go over there and talk to her?”
he definitely knows of your history with sae. it doesn’t bother him though, apparently. not if he’s offering sae the chance to talk to you, and alone, by the looks of it.
sae’s not really sure what he’s doing, taking reo up on his offer. he walks through the doors to your bakery and the shopkeeper’s bell rings, inciting you to spin around, expecting reo, but your eyes widen when you see sae there instead, sheepishly standing there, staring dumbly at you.
“sae,” you call his name, breathlessly. “w-what’re you doing here?”
“i… don’t know.”
he doesn’t. zero clue. fuck.
you’re not smiling, you’re apprehensive, you’re still in shock as to why itoshi sae didn’t contact you ever since you left him and why he chose now of all times to show up. there’s tears in the corners of your eyes and he knows you’re trying not to let them fall. the corners of your mouth try not to but they form a small frown.
“i just wanted to tell you…” sae trails off because he starts to remember everything.
he remembers five years old and you on the slides. he remembers your nii-chan and how he hated it. he remembers your smile and him being lovestruck and pathetic. he remembers making you happy and then making you sad, going from everything you loved to everything you grieved. he remembers all the signs he thought you didn’t give. he remembers your newly opened bakery and the heart on his first order chit. he remembers his now ex-girlfriend hating his guts and throwing your bread on the floor.
most of all, he remembers how happy you look with reo.
so sae swallows all the words he wanted to say and gives you a knowing smile. “just wanted to come by and wish you a happy marriage.”
i miss you. i still love you. i want you back. i want to be yours again. i promise i’ll love you properly this time.
he bites back all his words.
your expression turns soft and you smile at him for the first time in five years. “thanks, sae,” you tell him, holding your hand out.
sae shakes it, resisting his urge to pull you close.
“how are—”
“i have to go,” sae interjects, because he doesn’t think he can act any more normal than this. he wants to see more of you, but he forces himself to leave, and you understand anyway, you and your weak knees because as much as you’re over itoshi sae, your lover, you still miss itoshi sae, your best friend.
reo walks past him on the steps, noticing his rush. “hey, leaving already?”
sae doesn’t stop. “yeah.”
“look, y/n’s clueless but,” reo continues, raising his voice slightly as sae gets farther away. “thanks for all the support!”
sae stops short of his car, turning around to look at reo, who’s looking at you, cleaning up the last of your cash.
“what are you talking about?”
reo turns back to sae, hands in his pockets. “i wanted to thank mr rin hatoki personally so—” sae’s eyes grow wide at the mention of the name— “thank you.”
how does he even know?
“you know, she was so nervous when it first opened, thinking that nobody would buy anything,” reo tells him, and sae listens, swallowing the lump in his throat. “i wanted to be the first customer but apparently a mr rin hitoki beat me to it.”
reo sighs, noticing how sae’s eyes are now glued onto you.
“y/n’s the kindest person i’ve ever met,” reo continues, turning his back on sae. “if you want forgiveness, it’s always there for you.”
reo’s revelation and offer sticks with sae, but he shelves it in the corner of his mind. when he sees you, crescent eyes and all smiles, sae drives off.
it’s fine. knowing you’re happy is enough.
that’s a lie. it will never be enough for him, but he’ll just keep trying to convince himself. sae loves you, and he might just love you enough to let you go.
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serpentandlily · 6 months
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Scared to Be Happier - Azriel x Reader
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Scared to be Happier - Azriel x Reader
Summary: Azriel finds his mate in the Court of Nightmares and she is whisked away to Velaris to be saved. But when someone spends so long being beaten down and angry, sometimes broken is all they'll ever be.
Warnings: Angst, Smut (minors dni), Drug and Alcohol Usage
a/n: Heavily inspired by the song Happier by Yungblud/Oli Sykes. This one is for all my girlies who self-sabotage and break things because that is all they've ever known, who are scared to be happy because of the fear of the fall when it all gets taken away.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
A pounding on your door pulled you from your thoughts. You let out a sigh as your apartment came back into focus, mirthroot smoke swirling in the air along with the stench of whiskey. You stood from the couch, stretching out your limbs before moving to the door.
You had to kick a few empty wine bottles out of your path, the evidence of last night’s adventures. 
When you pulled open the door, you weren’t surprised to see the shadowsinger standing there. His handsome face was unreadable, his eyes checking over you from head to toe. You smiled, lazily, his face shifting in and out of focus. 
“Azriel,” you greeted. His eyes narrowed on your face. 
You knew what you must look like to him. Kohl smeared under your eyes, hair in disarray, standing there in only your underwear and a large shirt whose owner you were unsure of. 
You stepped back, letting him walk inside and shut the door behind him. 
“You’re high again.”
His voice was deep, husky, as he peered around the mess in your apartment. You shrugged, leaning against the counter in the kitchen. It was the truth. You spent most of your days in a haze. One you sought after through the use of drugs and alcohol. Mirthroot helped numb your mind. The alcohol helped numb your feelings.
“Don’t act like you care,” you said, flatly. “Not now.” 
Azriel let out a frustrated sigh, turning to face you. “I wish you’d stop saying things like that.”
“The truth?”
He stalked towards you, until he was so close you had to tilt your head up to stare at him. His hand raised, his knuckles brushing against your rosy cheeks. “It’s not the truth. And you know it.” 
Your own hand climbed up his chest until it rested right over his heart, the heart that beat in rhythm with yours. 
“I know what you’re here for,” you purred, ignoring his remark. 
This was the game. Azriel would come here, pretend to care, if only long enough for the two of you to fall into bed together. Then you’d wake up and he’d be gone. And you wouldn’t see him again until he felt guilty enough to check-in on you again. After all, he was the reason you were here. 
Azriel rested his forehead against yours, his hand cupping your check. 
“I can’t stay away from you,” he breathed out. “I’m sorry, y/n.”
“You’re not sorry,” you whispered, staring into his hypnotizing hazel eyes. “You enjoy this. You enjoy being around someone as miserable as you. I know you, Azriel. Better than that family of yours does.” 
“You know nothing,” he growled.
But then he surged forward and crashed his lips against yours. Like he always did when the conversation turned more personal. But you met him halfway, also not wanting to talk anymore. Not when the mirthroot kept your head so light. Not when it felt so good to have Azriel’s lips against yours. 
He groaned, pushing you further against the counter, his hips digging into yours. His hand snaked into your hair, pulling your head back so he could deepen the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to you. You needed this as much as he did.
The bond in your chest sang at his touch. Your body already reacting to him. 
He lifted you onto the counter, parting your thighs with his leg so he could stand between them. His hard cock pressed against your barely covered center, causing both of you to moan. He trailed kisses down your jaw, to your throat, tracing his canines over the fragile skin. 
Azriel wasted no time, yanking your shirt over your head and tossing it to the floor, revealing your bare breasts to him. He groaned at the sight, running his hands down your body. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he growled, before pushing you to lean back so he could trace kisses down your chest, taking one of your peaked nipples into his mouth. You groaned, twisting your hand in his dark hair. 
His hand slid up your thigh until his fingers hooked around the seam of your underwear and swiftly pulled it off of you, leaving you entirely naked in front of him. He moaned, dropping to his knees, staring at your glistening core. 
“Fuck, I need to taste you,” he growled before leaning forward and taking a single lick up the center of your folds. Your head fell back against the cabinets at the sensation. 
“Please,” you begged. 
That was all he needed to hear, diving his tongue into you. You writhed on the counter as he flicked his tongue against your clit, his finger circling around your entrance. Your hips bucked as you moaned, needing more. 
Azriel knew your body, knew how to force you close to the edge so quickly with just his tongue. He knew the right time to finally push a finger inside of you, thrusting it in and out before adding a second one. You mewled, your first orgasm coming quickly. 
Azriel cursed as he felt you fall over the edge, as you pulsed around his fingers. He stood, still pushing his fingers in and out of you as his other hand worked to untie his leathers. You helped him, pushing his shirt off and he yanked his pants down. 
You stroked his dick up and down, licking your lips.
Azriel ripped your hand away with a growl. “I need to be in you. Now.” 
Before you could blink, he thrusted his cock into you, hard and fast. You both groaned as he seated himself inside of you, wrapping his large arms around your waist and pulling you tight against his bare chest. You were both panting, the bond that had still not been accepted glowed at your contact. 
Azriel gave you a few seconds to adjust before pulling all the way out and thrusting back into you just as hard. He growled, his head falling into the crevice of your neck as he set a punishing pace. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he hit that sweet spot inside of you over and over again, cursing. 
He pulled away, still thrusting in and out of you, to grab your chin in his hand, forcing you to look him in the eyes. 
“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he groaned, his pace becoming faster, harder. “Your body was made for me. For me only.”
You fluttered around him in response to his possessive words. Words you knew meant nothing once this was all over. You groaned his name, relishing in the pain and pleasure of his hard thrusts. 
“Say it,” he growled, his grip on your chin tightening. “Say your mine.” 
“Gods, Azriel,” you moaned. “I’m yours.”
“Again,” he grunted, his thrusts not letting up. 
“Yours,” you cried out. “I’m yours.” 
His pupils were dilated, turning his hazel eyes black as he fucked you with a frenzy only a mate could. His free hand dipped between your legs, rubbing your clit. You cried out, feeling your second orgasm of the night building. 
“That’s it,” Azriel grunted. “You take me so well, pretty girl. So fucking good. Mine. You’re mine.”
“Yours,” you agreed. The mirthroot made your head spin, the feeling of Azriel fucking you almost too much. You cried out again as your orgasm suddenly crashed through you like a wave. 
Azriel cursed, fucking you through your orgasm, until he couldn’t hold his rhythm anymore. His thrusts became sloppy, erratic, as he chased after his own high. You reached a hand out, stroking down the soft membrane of his beautiful wing, pushing him over the edge. 
“Fuck,” he growled loudly, burying himself inside of you as he exploded.
You could feel his hot seed inside of you. He pulled out a bit and pushed back in, making sure none of it was wasted. Your body was limp as he wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you, holding you tight against his chest.
He carried you into your bedroom, laying you down on the bed. Your head was spinning now. You blinked, feeling the bond in your chest tighten at the sight of him. 
“Don’t even think of falling asleep,” he commanded with a growl, climbing over you. He caged your head with his arms, his mouth attaching itself to your neck again, kissing and sucking. “I’m not done with you.” 
Hours later, you watched him disappear in a flurry of shadows, only staying long enough to help clean you up after he made a mess of your body. This was how it was. He would come here, take what he needed from you and disappear. It used to hurt you more, used to tear your heart apart. Now…now you were numb to it. 
You were numb to most things, angry at the rest. 
But mostly, you were scared. And you knew he was too. Scared to push this any farther. Scared to dive into a territory you weren’t sure you were ready for. You didn’t belong here. You never would. You might’ve been dragged out of the Court of Nightmares but you had never truly left. 
Because that place had turned you into little more than ash. It had taken everything you were and crushed it, crushed it so thoroughly that you would never be able to glue back the pieces. And the High Lord and his dogs had been naive in thinking that they had rescued you, saved you.
They had not saved you.
They had not saved you because there was nothing left of you to be saved.  
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
One Year Ago
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
The corset you were wearing under your dress was constricting, your lungs begging for a chance to breathe. The dress that was over it was hardly much better. But the High Lord and Lady were making an appearance today and so your father had the handmaidens get you ready, making you look proper enough to be in the Throne Room alongside him.
There was a part of you that liked when the High Lord and Lady came, only because you were allowed out of your chambers for once. The chambers your father basically had you shackled in. You were his youngest daughter, finally the age to be married off, and he was worried you’d go and pull a Morrigan if you were given even a sliver of freedom.
The other part of you hated the High Lord and Lady. Hated seeing their smug faces, their pretentious attitudes. Even her stupid stuck-up sisters and the two Illyrians walked around looking down their noses at everyone who lived in Hewn City. As if you were all bottom of the barrel, the fifth under their shoes. 
But your only crime in life was being born in this awful mountain. 
That was enough for them, it seemed. They had no interest in helping any of the fae stuck down here that wanted out, that weren’t the awful people you were thought to be. It didn’t matter to them. 
All that mattered was their perfect little city away from all the rats below. And you hated them for it. Hated all of them. 
In fact, hate was all you had ever known. Bruise after bruise. Strike after strike. Torn out and stomped on after cleaning your own blood from the floor when your father was done doling out his punishments for whatever he decided you’d done wrong that day, time and time again.
There was a time you prayed to the stars for help. 
But that time was over. 
“Rise,” the High Lord ordered after making all of you stay on your knees for what felt like eternity.
You were quick to stand, brushing your dress down as you did. Your father was hovering right next to you, as if he were ready to snatch you away the second he deemed it fit. 
Your eyes trailed over your two rulers before briefly passing over the Morrigan, Lady Death and The General, finally landing on the Shadowsinger.
He was stoic, hauntingly beautiful. But you already knew that. He was the one all the Ladies liked to pant over while their husbands were out of earshot. 
As if he could feel your stare, his gaze shot to you and you went back to staring at the floor. Your father grabbed you by the upper arm, leading you towards the front of the room where the other Lords were gathering. 
You spared a glance at the shadowsinger again, noticing he had moved now to the High Lord’s side and appeared to be whispering something in his ear. 
You went back to acting like a pretty little doll perched next to your father. After all, beauty was the only currency females had in Hewn City. That was all your mother had taught you before she died. 
Keep yourself pretty and then maybe you’d be rewarded with a husband who liked keeping you that way and would not leave bruises on your body. 
Your beauty never saved you from your father’s hand though. 
“Lord Thanatos,” the High Lord called out, causing the band to pause their playing and the others to go quiet. Your stomach twisted at the sound of your father’s name. “Please approach the Throne with your daughter.”
Your brows pinched in confusion as your father yanked you forward. It wasn’t the first time Rhysand had asked to speak to your father but why had he requested you to approach as well? 
“My Lord,” your father said with a bow of his head. “Lady.”
He shot you a glare when you stood next to him frozen. You snapped out of your trance and gave a curtsy, keeping your eyes on the ground like an obedient and submissive female should. 
“What is your name, little bird?”
“Her name is—”
“I wasn’t talking to you,” the High Lord snapped. “I was talking to your daughter.”
Your eyes flickered up, widening as the High Lord’s piercing violet ones landed on you. “M-my name is y/n, my Lord.”
You swallowed as he looked between you and your father. What could he possibly want with you? 
“Okay, y/n. Tell me, do you enjoy living here?”
You glanced at your father to see his eyes narrowed at you. You nodded in answer, holding your hands behind your back to hide your shaking. 
“My Lord, what is the meaning of this—”
“It is impolite to interrupt a conversation,” the High Lady sneered, holding a hand up in your father’s direction. 
A muscle in his jaw clenched but he stayed quiet. 
“And do you possess any power?”
You glanced at your father again, not sure how to answer. He had wanted to keep you a secret from the High Lord, worried he’d take you away once he found out what you could do, how you could benefit him. Instead, Keir and your father wanted to use you to secure a strong alliance with another court. 
“A mere fraction,” your father cut in. “The girl can’t even winnow.”
You bit your lip, looking back at the floor. Your cheeks turned red at your father’s lie.
“Interrupt me one more time, Lord Thanatos, and I’ll have you escorted to a prison cell,” the High Lord growled before looking back at you. “What power do you possess, y/n? Don’t bother lying to me, little bird. I will know.”
You looked at your father again, his lips were pressed in a thin line, displeased. You looked back into the intimidating gaze of the High Lord. 
“I possess the Clear Touch, my Lord,” you answered.
The power that ran in your family line. The ability to touch a person and see their memories if you were able to get past their mental barrier. The High Lord grinned. 
“Good, you will pack your things and return with us to Velaris,” the High Lord declared. “I have use of you.”
Your jaw nearly dropped open and you turned to look at your father. His face was bright red with anger. 
“What?!” He spat out. “You cannot just kidnap her. She is under my rule until marriage. And she already has a number of suitors, some of whom are supposed to arrive this weekend for negotiations. You can’t take her.”
Your jaw did drop open this time. You had no idea about any suitors. You quickly fixed your face back into an unreadable one when the High Lord’s gaze stayed on you. 
“As far as I know, your daughter is of age now. Which means she can make her own choice,” the High Lord purred. “Which will it be y/n? Come work for me or stay here to be sold off by your father?”
The arrogance in his voice irked you. It’s like he was assuming no one would ever turn down the chance to work with him, to go to Velaris. As if he were offering you a reward. But you hated him as much as you hated your father. And you hated this court equally. 
Marriage to a foreign male might be your only chance to escape from here.
You could feel your father’s heavy gaze on the side of your face. “I would like to stay with my father, my Lord.”
Shock flashed through the High Lord’s eyes for a second and your father grinned. 
“Well, she’s made her choice, High Lord,” your father gloated. He wrapped his hand around your arm, right over the bruise hiding under your sleeve. You flinched slightly. “Now, if you’ll excuse—”
Suddenly, your father was yanked from you—the shadowsinger now between you and him.
“Get your fucking hands off my mate,” the shadowsinger growled lowly, his face dark and devastatingly lethal. 
Mate.
Mate.
That word clanged through you like metal against steel. The shadowsinger was staring down at your father, not even looking in your direction. Not even as a sea of gasps rang out in the crowd. 
Mate.
He had just claimed you in front of the entirety of Hewn City. There would be no marriage now. No escaping this court. You knew what it meant to be someone’s mate as a female. He now had rights to you. You were his. 
The blood left your face, your jaw clenching in dread.
Mate.
That one word had been enough. Enough for the High Lord to have you escorted to your home, made to pack up all your things to join them on their journey back to Velaris. You did so without a single word. What could you do? Even your own father wouldn’t look at you anymore. Not with the shadowsinger breathing down his neck. 
And when Azriel saw the chains in your room, the ones your father locked you up with at night to make sure you could never leave, he had grabbed hold of your father and disappeared in a flurry of shadows. 
Your heart was pounding as you chucked your clothes into a trunk. Once you were all packed, two females appeared out of nowhere. The shadow wraiths. They took hold of your trunk and disappeared. Your father’s handmaidens led you out to the sitting area where you waited for your mate to come retrieve you as if you were little more than some item he had purchased. 
Azriel returned, his knuckles bloody and bruised. You weren’t naive. You knew it was your father’s blood on his hands. You should’ve felt satisfied at seeing it, but you weren’t. This wasn’t a victory for you. You were merely just a trade between the two males. From your father’s ownership to your mate’s. 
“Come on,” Azriel said, reaching out his hand to you. “Let’s go.” 
You said nothing, taking his hand as you were meant to. Shadows engulfed the two of you until you were being pulled out of the darkness and into a new place. You quickly dropped Azriel’s hand, looking around. It was a bedroom, simple but still opulent. You glanced out the window to see you were high in the sky, overlooking a city.    
“We’re at the House of Wind.” Azriel’s voice came from behind you. You whirled around to stare at him. “This is where you’ll be staying for now.” 
He took a step towards you and you couldn’t fight the urge to take a step back to maintain the distance between you. He held up his hands. “I’m not…I’m not going to do anything to you.”
Your heart pounded in your chest. You didn’t know much about the shadowsinger, only how he tortured people for information and came from Illyria. You glanced at his wings.
You did know about that. How brutal Illyrian males were supposed to be. How they clipped their females and used them as nothing more than breeding stock. 
“You’re Illyrian,” you finally said. 
He nodded. “Yes.” 
“I know how Illyrians treat their females.”
A brief flash of anger sparked behind his hazel eyes and you berated yourself in your head. Fuck. You were already forgetting all the things your mother had taught you. Things every female in Hewn City were taught from birth. Never anger a male, keep your opinions to yourself, always say yes when they demand something of you. 
“I am nothing like them,” Azriel ground out between his teeth, his fist clenched. 
You swallowed, taking another step back. 
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, already bracing yourself to be hit.
But Azriel didn’t advance forward to your surprise. 
“I will leave you alone now. Dinner will be served at six if you wish to join.”
And then he was gone, melting back into his shadows.
You let out the breath you were holding, looking around the room once more. Your new cage. Slightly better than your last one, but a cage nonetheless. You sighed and began to unpack your things. Might as well accept your fate. You were the shadowsinger’s mate. There was no escaping this now. 
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
You showed up at dinner, scared to anger Azriel even more than you had already. But Azriel had paid you little attention since you had been out here with all of them. Instead, he sat at the opposite side of the table, next to one of the High Lady’s sisters. They seemed to be engaging in pleasant enough conversation by the looks of it. 
Good. You were happy his attention was elsewhere. Though your chest ached as you watched him exchange soft smiles with the other female, completely different than how he had been with you. 
It’s just the bond, you reminded yourself. The bond you hadn’t even felt snap for you. 
“So, y/n, how old are you exactly?” 
“Eighteen,” you answered the Morrigan, who sat across from you. 
At this, Azriel’s head whipped towards you, his brows pinched. Even the female next to him looked at you, her brown eyes filled with some indiscernible emotion. 
As soon as they were all in Velaris, it was like a completely different group of people. The menacing stares, the cold voices, the disdain. All of it was gone and replaced with something warmer. Though they still watched you with suspicious eyes. 
It only annoyed you further. Hewn City was something they could wipe from their hands and escape from, with no regard for those stuck there. 
“Hey, Feyre, you’re not the baby anymore!” The General laughed. 
“You must be relieved to finally be away from that place,” Feyre chirped.
Your grip on your fork tightened. If they all recognized how horrible that place was, then why did they insist on doing nothing to fix it? You weren’t the only one who suffered there. 
You heard your mother’s voice in your head now, Always be agreeable. Say what they want you to. Don’t put up a fight or they’ll only hit you harder. Be gracious. Look happy. 
You glanced at Azriel to see he was still watching you.
“Yes,” you agreed, like you were supposed to. 
Yes. It was the only word you had said since being here at this table. It left a bitter taste in your mouth. 
After dinner was over, they had Azriel escort you back to your room. You followed behind him, staring at his large beautiful wings. You supposed things could be worse. You could be mated to some ugly, rotten looking male. At least your new prisoner guard was handsome. 
You stepped inside of your room, expecting Azriel to follow. Is this when he’d force you to have sex with him? You mentally went through all the steps your mother had told you about sex. About how much it would hurt, how it was just something you would need to suffer through in order to keep a male happy. 
To your surprise, Azriel did not enter the room. But he didn’t leave either, lingering in the doorframe. 
“You know, you don’t have to keep saying yes to everything,” he said. “You’re not in Hewn City anymore. You’re allowed to say no. Allowed to voice your own opinions.”
“Okay,” you replied, stoically. Was this some sort of test?
He let out a sigh. “You don’t want to be here, do you?” 
You only blinked in response. He ran a hand through his hair, his beautiful face unreadable. “I’m sorry for claiming you in front of the court like that. But it was the only way your father would let us take you out of there. You don’t have to be scared anymore. No one here is going to hurt you.” 
“I didn’t want to leave,” you said back. “I told the High Lord I wished to stay with my father.”
Azriel seemed confused by your remark. “Your father isn’t here, y/n. You don’t have to continue to lie. He can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I am not lying,” you replied. 
“You…you wish to stay in Hewn City? You wish to stay with your father?” 
You shook your head. Because no, that wasn’t what you wanted. But you knew you didn’t want this either. You didn’t want to be in the Night Court at all. You wanted to be whisked away somewhere else. No one cared for you here. That wasn’t how the Night Court worked. 
“So you did want to come here?”
“No,” you whispered. “I do not wish to be here either.” 
A muscle in Azriel’s jaw clenched. “So what do you want?”
Your brows pinched together. “I-I don’t know.”
You’d never been allowed to want for anything. You had no clue what was even out in the world beyond this court. You’d lived in Hewn City all your life. Had never been educated on much of anything. Not beyond typical things the females were allowed to learn. 
Azriel’s fists tightened and then he disappeared. 
You didn’t see him again until two days later. He showed up knocking on your door, telling you to pack your things. You did as he said without argument. Perhaps he was finally taking you home now to do whatever it is mates did with each other. 
But to your surprise, Azriel brought you to an apartment that was nearly empty besides the necessities. He placed your trunk in the bedroom before turning to look at you, his face blank. 
“You will live here now. I will not bother you, nor will anyone else from the court. If you wish to speak to any of us, you can reach out whenever,” he said, his voice ice cold. “I set up an account under your name that you can use to buy whatever you need.”
He was just…dumping you here? 
“I’m meant to live here?” You questioned. “Alone?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” The disdain in his voice had you folding into yourself. “So yes. You will live here. Since I’m the reason you’re in this situation, I will cover the cost.”
All of the gentleness and patience he had shown that other female was gone, nowhere to be found. 
“Okay,” you said, flatly. 
He peered at you once more, searching. You kept your face neutral, not wanting to show the fear you now felt. Alone in a city. You didn’t know a single person who lived here. What would you do? What could you do?
“You know where to find me if you wish,” Azriel said and then disappeared into his shadows, leaving you standing alone in an empty apartment. 
You spent the next month in a haze. Only leaving the apartment for food. Otherwise you just sat and watched people from your window. 
Sometimes you’d see Azriel walking through the streets with the High Lady’s sister, exchanging soft glances, laughing, brushing up against each other. 
You seethed at the sight. He had claimed you, dragged you to this city away from everything and everyone you’d ever known, and dumped you here alone just to parade around with another female.
Why had he taken you if he didn’t want you? 
Why had he said anything? 
It wasn’t like you could return to Hewn City. Your father would have trouble finding you suitors now that everyone knew you were the shadowsinger’s mate. Without having a use for you, you were sure your father would only treat you worse. 
You were truly alone. You’d always been, of course. But though you held no love for your father, at least he had you taken care of. 
Now you were on your own. 
Abandoned by your own mate. 
Maybe you should feel relieved that he didn’t want you. Seemed more invested in the High Lady’s sister. But it didn’t feel good either way. 
Were you not good enough for him? Were you not worth the effort of courting? You’d always known your life would never be filled with soft, sweet romance. Not if you were meant to be sold off. 
But to find out you had a mate, a mate clearly capable of being gentle and kind with females…just not you. 
You were Court of Nightmare scum. A female meant to be used and broken and ruined at the hands of males. Not good enough for the High Lord’s brother apparently. Not good enough for sweet smiles or flowers.
Just something to claim and discard. 
Something inside of you broke.
All the emotions you had been holding in were suddenly flooding out. So you finally let yourself cry. 
And cry.
And cry.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Months went by. You were sure how many. 
You had been stumbling around late one night, trying to learn the city streets when some male had approached you. He was charming, handsome. Said he could tell you were lost and asked if you’d like him to show you around.
You said yes. After all, your own mate hardly cared about you. He never sought you out after dumping you in the apartment. Never checked in on how you were adjusting…if you even were.
You weren’t. 
You hated this city and all it represented. Hated all the fae here who had never had to suffer at the hands of their own ruler. 
The male had done more than show you around. He introduced you to a whole other world, one that was hidden in the underbelly of this city. Something that felt a little more like the home you knew. 
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Present Day
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
You were woken up by the sheets being yanked off your body. You sat up, blinking the sleep from your eyes. You groaned, lifting a hand to your pounding head. Your vision finally came into focus, narrowing in on a seething Azriel standing at the foot of your bed. 
Gasps came from around you and it took you a second to realize you were not only naked, but in the middle of several other naked bodies—two females and one male. You quickly pulled the sheets back over yourself. 
“Get out,” Azriel growled at them. “Now.” 
No one moved, too startled. 
“Now!” Azriel roared. “Before I rip out your throats!” 
That had all of them moving. But you stayed frozen on the bed, staring at Azriel. Silence rang in your apartment until they were all gone, leaving the two of you alone. Azriel tossed you a robe and you quickly shrugged it on, standing up from the bed. 
“I thought this would be over by now, y/n,” Azriel snarled, moving out of your bedroom back to the living area. He grabbed the kitchen trash can and started stalking through your apartment. It took you a second to realize what he was doing before you cried out, rushing to stop him. 
“What are you doing?!”
“This is done, y/n,” Azriel snapped, brushing you off him. “I’m done giving you access to my accounts if all you’re going to do is buy drugs and get fucked up every day.” 
He grabbed a bag of mirthroot and tossed it into the trash can. You shouted at him to stop, trying to rip the trash out of his hands. 
Didn’t he understand?!
You needed that. You needed the drugs, needed the alcohol. You needed it to shut your mind off, to keep the empty and depressing thoughts away. You would die without them.
“Azriel, stop!”
“No,” he snarled back at you. “This has to stop, y/n.”
“Why are you so concerned about this now?” you shouted, tossing your hands in the air. “You’ve never cared before. Why now?” 
You stalked after him, trying to grab the trash from his hands but he easily pushed you away. You felt desperate tears line your eyes. 
“I’ve always cared!” Azriel yelled. “I have always cared about you, y/n. But I thought you would phase out of this. I thought you just needed to explore your new freedom and get it out of your system. But you haven’t stopped and you’re out of control!” 
You fisted the back of his shirt, forcing him to stop. “You have never cared for me! Just fucking leave, Azriel. This is my life. I will live it how I want to.”
“Not while I’m the one funding it!”
He glared down at you and you crossed your arms over your chest. “Then don’t! I don’t need your money. I don’t need you. I can find someone else. I can go somewhere else.” 
“Really? You’d just fuck off with some other male?!” Azriel shouted. “After everything I’ve done for you?!”
You scoffed. “What the fuck have you ever done for me, Azriel?! You dragged me from my home, forced me here, and then treated me like I was nothing to you!”
“I was giving you the space you wanted!”
“No, you were busy fucking the High Lady’s sister,” you snapped. “Why don’t you go back to her if this is too much for you? I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t want this!” 
“Keep Elain out of this! She’s done nothing to you,” Azriel growled, making you see red. “Elain is my friend. She sure as hell cares about me more than you do.” 
“You know what? Fuck you, Azriel,” you said, pushing him away from you. “Fuck you. Fuck your High Lord and Lady. Fuck her stupid sisters. Fuck your whole stupid family! You’re right! You’ve all done nothing! Nothing! Just let us all suffer in that city while you all got to be happy here!” 
“And what are you doing to help anyone, y/n? What are you doing besides getting drunk and high every single night?” Azriel tossed the trash at your feet, as if to prove his point. “All you’ve done is become a burden!” 
Your breath caught in your throat and you took a step away from him. A burden? You were a burden to him? He was the one who took you! The one who brought you here!
“Then get out,” you whispered. “Get out and leave and never fucking come back.” 
Azriel let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it like that. You know I didn’t.”
You glared up at him. “No, Azriel, I don’t know. I don’t know what the fuck you want from me! You come here, fuck me and leave! How am I supposed to know what you mean?!”
“You think any of this is easy for me? You think I was overjoyed to find out my mate had been suffering in Hewn City the whole time I was living here? Do you know how much I prayed to the Mother for a mate? How much I wanted this? And now I have it. Now I have you and fuck, I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to help you!” 
“Well, you might as well give up now! I don’t want your help, Azriel. I can’t be helped! I’m not broken!”
“Then explain all of this!” Azriel shouted, gesturing at the mess in your apartment. The empty bottles, the drugs on the table. “I gave you a year, y/n. I gave you a year to adjust, to build a life here in Velaris for yourself!”
“Have you considered that I don’t want to?! I don’t belong here, Azriel. I don’t belong in this city, in this place!”
If I could tell you how I feel, I know that you’re still hurting too. No, I’m not broken. I’m just scared to belong here, scared to be happier. 
You wiped at the tears pouring down your face now. Your head was still pounding, your throat hoarse from the screaming. It was too much. It was all too much. 
“You know what I think? I think you’re scared,” Azriel snarled. “I think you’re scared to give all of this up. I think you’re scared to get better. I think you’re scared to let yourself be happy for once!” 
“You’re one to talk,” you snapped back. “You’re just as scared as I am, Azriel, you just hide it better. But I’m your mate and I know how you feel. I can see it.” 
“And what do you think I see when I look at you?” His voice was ice cold. “I see someone broken. I see someone so broken they don’t even know how to be happy. You never have, have you?” 
“Have you?” you shot back at him. “Have you ever felt happy, Azriel? Of course I’m not happy! Why the fuck would I be happy here?” 
The apartment fell silent as you both glared at each other, so many emotions swirling in your eyes. You hated him, hated what he had done to you, hated that you needed him, hated that you felt like you would die without him. And you knew he felt that way too, could see the anguish on his face. 
Azriel whispered your name so quietly, you would’ve thought you imagined it if you hadn’t seen his lips move. He dropped to his knees in front of you, his wings drooping to the floor. Your eyes widened as he wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face against your stomach. You felt his tears wet your silk robe. 
“I’m sorry,” he croaked. “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know how to do this. You think I don’t care about you, but you are all I care about. This whole world could burn to the ground and it’d still be you I looked for in the ash.” 
“I am already nothing but ash,” you whispered. “I might not have your scars, Azriel, but I have been burned too. Everything has been taken from me. Everything. Of course I’m scared to love you. Of course I’m scared to be happy. I can give you nothing because so little of me exists now.” 
“That’s not true,” he muttered against your stomach. “That’s not true at all, y/n. I don’t need anything from you. I just need you to let me help you. Please. Let me help you put yourself back together. Let me help you take away the pain. Let me give you a better life. Give me that chance. That's all I ask for.” 
“I can’t.” Your voice cracked as he gripped you harder. “You’re right. I am scared. I’m a coward. I can’t…I-I can’t let myself be happy. I can’t let myself feel anything. It hurts too much.”
“I know, baby, I know,” Azriel whispered. “So let me help you. Let me in. Let me make you feel something. I can feel your anger, I can feel your rage inside. Take it out on me if you have to. But stop shutting me out. I’m sorry for how things started. I didn’t know what to do. I was overwhelmed, scared, hurt. But please give me the chance to make it up to you. Please, baby, let me help you. I can’t keep watching you destroy yourself.” 
You fell to your knees in front of him, mirroring his position. His hazel eyes bore into yours, every single emotion he felt poured down the bond between the two of you. For once you let yourself show him how you felt. You undid the binds on your heart, cracked the barrier you had put up between the two of you. You let it all loose. Everything. Every single emotion you felt.
Azriel cradled your face in his hands. Kohl had made black trails down your face with your tears, your robe had slipped off one shoulder, your hair had half fallen out of your braid, but you had never looked more beautiful to him than in this moment. Because he was finally seeing you. The person you hid behind the drugs and alcohol. The person you hid between the sheets. 
You were scarred, hurt, and broken. You had a darkness swelling in you that matched his own. You were the first sight of blood emerging from a wound, the torn pages of a book, the flame of an almost melted candle, the fog obscuring the woods. You were made of everything he was. You were his equal, his love, his mate. 
You were scared and he was too. But as he pressed his lips against yours desperately, you saw a world where that fear might not exist. A world where you were happy and loved and whole again. You weren’t there now. You wouldn’t be there tomorrow.
But perhaps in the end, that’s where you’d find yourself.  
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
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Text
Competing for his affection.
Requests:
Could I perhaps ask for a fanfic or like a one-shot for Laurie from Little Women, "them hurting/scaring you" 🙏 (only if you want to, if not, you can ignore this, take care!!)
Based on this HC
Wordcount: 2.1K+
Masterlist
Description: You loved Laurie with all your heart. There wasn't anything in this world you wouldn't do for him. The only thing you wanted from him was his love and respect in turn, but maybe you weren't as loved by Laurie as you thought.
A/N: so this is sad and a bit short. I always have trouble with angst so sorry if it is rubbish. I don't have a part two in mind but if you guys want to see them make up let me know.
Warning: Angst Angst Angst. No happy Ending. Yelling couple, crying children. Overwhelmed reader. absent Laurie
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“Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. When is Papa coming back home?” Lydia asked as she tugged on your dress.
“I’m not sure, my love. I’m sure he will be home soon,” you said, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice and rock your crying newborn. You were overwhelmed. No, you were something more, but you couldn’t even think because you were drowning.
You felt tears in your eyes as you glanced out of the window again, hoping to see your husband walking on the path. You glanced over at the March’s house huffing and turning away from the window.
“Mommy, but I want Papa. We are supposed to go flower picking today,” she said tears filling her eyes. Her little face broke your herd and you blinked rapidly. You couldn’t cry in front of her, you had to be strong.
Laurie promised he wouldn’t leave. He promised he would be home all day and to help you with the children. Lydia was incredibly smart and independent, but she was still only 3 years old and needed a lot of attention. Attention that you couldn’t give her when you had Oli to take care of.
Oli was only 2 months old and was an extremely sick little one. First, he had breathing trouble, then he was sick and now he just seemed miserable. You tried rocking him, tried changing him, singing to him, and now he won’t latch onto your nipple.
“Sweet, little Oli. Please eat,” you begged looking down at him. His whole face was bright red as he screamed his head off.
“He is so loud. Can’t we take him back to the hospital?” Lydia complained tugging on your dress more.
“I know but he isn’t feeling well, my love. We have to be patient with him. He is a baby,” you said taking a deep breath again.
She pouted, she didn’t care or understand what you were saying to her. She stomped away from you, and you decided to let her go for a bit so you could focus on Oli. You brushed his curls out of his face and rubbed his cheek soothingly.
“My sweet love, I want to help you. I truly do, just please eat my love,” you said switching him from your left to right and offering him your other nipple. He only scrunches his face and cries more.
Biting your lip hopelessly you bounced him more and walked around the house. The house felt so empty without Laurie. He was always loudly playing around with your daughter or writing songs, but he was never home anymore. It was your biggest fear when you got married. That you were just a stand-in for someone that Laurie once loved.
You met Laurie in Europe when he was in school. You two became friends first, you could see that he was heartbroken, and you were not in the mood for love. You were in school, one of the few women that the university allowed in, and you weren’t going to ruin it with relationships.
And then things changed and you two fell in love. You were spending every moment together and Laurie asked for you to marry him. You told him yes, but you wanted to finish school first. You wanted to prove that women were just as smart as a man. You wanted respect and love, and Laurie gave you both.
So, you finished school and then Laurie asked you to marry him after graduation, that very night. You were shocked by said yes and you were Mrs. Laurie Laurence two hours later. After much debating you two moved back to America and into his grandfather’s home to take care of him.
And then you met the March family and knew one of them had to have broken his heart. He never told you and you didn’t want to pry, but you assumed it was Jo. You expressed your fear to Laurie when he spent the first few days at the March home.
He had barely introduced you to them and then he was leaving you behind all the time. You were worried and scared, but he assured you that would never happen. And you believed him because you loved him.
And then Lydia was born, and you both were over the moon. You stayed home happily caring for your baby and Laurie was by your side the whole time. Things were great and you were so in love with your family.
You got to know the Marches better and you would consider them good friends of yours. But slowly, Laurie would pull away again. Always at the school with Jo. And you understood him helping her and being with his friends, but you needed him.
So, you proposed a trip to Europe to rekindle the flame. Laurie was excited for the trip and happily planned the trip with you. You spent a whole year traveling around with your family and when you returned home, you were pregnant with Oli.
And now you were here.
Alone.
“MOMMY,” shouted Lydia causing you to jump and Oli to cry louder. You were getting a headache and you held Oli closer and ran toward her voice.
You found Lydia downstairs throwing a tantrum. Banging her head on the floor and kicking. You gasped and put Oli down on his little playpen as you ran to your daughter. “Lydia Elizabeth  Laurence, what are you going?” You questioned with as much authority as you could.
She cried and when you tried to reach for her, she rolled away, crying louder. Between her and Oli you couldn’t hold it on anymore and you broke down. You sobbed and clutched your chest. You were struggling to breathe, and you felt like a failure, as both a mother and a wife.
Lydia was confused seeing you so down and she was instantly done with her tantrum. “Mommy?” she asked worriedly, wrapping her little arms around you. You hugged her back and willing yourself to get under control. You hugged each other for a few minutes as you worked to calm down.
“I’m fine, my love. I’m fine,” you said pulling back from the hug and brushing her hair out of her face. “I’m sorry, Mommy got a bit overwhelmed. You know how you get upset sometimes and you can control your feelings”—she nodded—“That was like that.”
She patted your cheek and hugged you once more. “Mommy it’s okay. I’m sorry for having a tantrum.”
“It’s fine, why don’t we go in the garden? I know you wanted to go pick flowers with Papa, but I can do it with you. Maybe the fresh air would do Oli some good,” you suggested.
She nodded and you got to your feet and grabbed your little baby. His watery eyes met yours and you smothered him in kisses. Grabbing Lydia’s hand, you walked out into the backyard into the little garden that you and Laurie planted when you first married.
Lydia giggled and ran around looking at the flowers. “Should we mix some and put them all over the house?” She suggested running back over to you.
“That sounds amazing,” you said, “Why don’t you give me a few seconds to try to settle, Oli?”
She frowned but looked at Oli. She walked closer and stood on her toes. You bent down and Lydia pressed a kiss to his forehead and ran off again.
You walked around in the garden before sitting next to the flowers. You grabbed one and waved it around in front of him. His brows furrowed and he started sniffling. You smiled down at him and kissed his nose. “Are you ready to eat now?” You said pulling him closer and guiding him to your nipple. You sighed in relief when he began to suck.
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Later you placed a vase of flowers on the table in Lydia’s room. She grins sleepily from her bed at you. “They are so pretty, mommy,” she said, yawning.
“They are, like you are,” you said, poking her nose. She giggled more and snuggled under her blanket. You grabbed her stuffed Fox that Laurie brought her, and she tucked it under her arms. “I wish Papa was here to see my flowers,” she said.
“You can show him in the morning, he will be so sorry that he missed picking him up,” you assured him. Laurie hadn’t returned home, and you were upset. It was one thing to abandon you but to get your daughter's hopes up you couldn’t forgive.
“I will show him first thing,” she said closing her eyes. You rubbed her back until her breathing evened out. Kissing her forehead, you left her room, went into the nursery, and checked on Oli who was sleeping peacefully.
You rubbed his little head before leaving to go to your room. You were undressed when there was a knock on your door and Laurie walked in. He smiled happily when he saw you and made his way over to you.
“Hello, darling. How was your day?” Laurie asked coming over to kiss your cheek.
You scoffed. You were exhausted and upset with him. How could he pretend like he wasn’t gone before you even woke up this morning. “My day? It was right awful.”
His brows furrowed and your face softened with how much he reminded you of Oli in the garden earlier. But you thought about all the stress of the day, of the week, months, and years and you glared at him.
“What is the matter?”
“You’ve been gone all day, Laurie. I needed you here. I needed you home and help with the children. You promised Lydia you would pick flowers with her.”
“I’m, I completely forgot about Lydia I will pick flowers with her tomorrow and take her into town for a new dress,” he said simply as if it was an easy fix.
“You think that is enough?” You asked.
“Yes?”
“Laurie you are never home. Never here. I am all alone and it’s overwhelming, I need you. We are a team,” you complained.
“Calm down. I said I am sorry,” he said.
“Calm down? I haven’t been able to calm down all day because I’ve been trying to take care of our children.”
“You are overrating. I am home a lot. Jo just needed my help, and I couldn’t abandon her.”
You laughed, “You couldn’t abandon her. Does she not have a husband of her own? Must she always need mine?”
“I am not going to have this conversation with you right now,” he said beginning to undress.
“Then when we will have it? What if Jo needs you tomorrow?” You said sarcastically.
“You are overrating.”
“And you don’t care.”
“Of course, I care. Just Jo needed me,” he stressed.
“So, you can abandon me? Your wife and your children?”
Laurie rolled his eyes and walked away from you. Tears of frustration filled your eyes. You never hated anyone before in your life, but you hated your husband. He broke not just your heart but your children.
“Do you love her?” you asked.
Laurie paused and glanced over his shoulder at you. “What?”
“You heard me,” you said crossing your arms over your chest. “There is no other reason for you to abandon us.”
“I didn’t abandon,” he said annoyed.
“You are a liar. You are gone all the time. Do you care more about them than you do our family?
Laurie groaned tugging on his hair. “Of course, I do. They are my family. I’ve known them my whole life. I imagine my whole life with them,” he shouted.
You jumped slightly; Laurie had never shouted at you before. You opened your mouth, but Oli began to cry. You sighed and tears ran down your face. You wiped them quickly and stared Laurie in the eyes. “Fine, if they are your family then you should leave and be with them. I am sorry that you didn’t get your dream to marry her.”
“Hey, wait,” he said, his eyes wide and full of regret. He reached out for you, but you pushed his hand away.
“No, don’t touch me. I don’t even know who you are anymore,” you said sadly.
“Don’t say that. I-I’m sorry, please, darling.” Laurie tried to reach for you again, but the damage was done. You couldn’t look at him.
“Was Jo the one you were heartbroken over when we met?”
“Darling please.”
“Answer me, Theodore.”
His eyes filled with tears and Oli was still crying from his room. Your heart felt as if it was ripped out of your chest, crushed under his boot and replaces.
“Yes, but that was a long time ago. I do not love Jo like that anymore you have to believe me,” he tried to reach for you a third time. Trying to grab you and make thing right, but you shoved his hands off of you.
“No, I don’t believe you. And I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. Theodore  Laurence, I want nothing to do with you,” you said breaking Laurie’s heart as you walked out of the room.
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in love with the mess - day twelve
summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she's decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and... well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?
content : smut (p in v, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, some degradation), angst, fluff, Yungblug appearance lol
length : 8.3k
tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @blacksoul-27 @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy @broken0mens @sunsshinesunny
a/n : time to find out what you've been craving to know for a week! enjoy and leave a comment 💕💕
•••
day twelve
Spending the whole night talking after an exhausting show, knowing fully well we had an early bus call, a four-hour drive to London, soundcheck and another show, wasn’t the wisest decision Oli and I had ever made, but it was a completely necessary one.
It started with a lot of confusion and reassurances that I’d heard correctly.
“Say that again,” I whispered. I didn’t care that he was still inside of me or that our sweaty bodies were sticking together or that my thighs were in danger of cramping as they wrapped around him that little bit tighter. Right now, it was just Oli, his eyes, more beautiful than I’d ever seen them, and those words hanging between us. “Please.”
“I love you, Aubrey,” he repeated. Something in his face changed. Like a weight being lifted. Like there was a new lightness in his being from having said those words out loud. He was earnest. Everything about him screamed honesty. But believing it was another thing. After pining for him for so long. After wondering whether I should let him know about my feelings just this morning.
“You mean that?” I asked, unable to keep the worry to myself. I needed to know. If not now, I’d question it forever. “You’re not just saying that because you just came in me, right?”
“Fucking hell, Aubrey,” Oli laughed. Taking hold of my thighs, he removed them from his waist, then pulled out slowly, discarding the condom. He didn’t hand me a tissue or a wipe but I couldn’t care less about possibly leaking on his sheets. There were more important things. When he lied down next to me, his hands found my body again, holding me close, bringing our foreheads together once more. “I didn’t mean to tell you that way, yeah? But I mean it. I might as well admit it now. I love you.”
I was convinced I was going to wake up from this dream any minute now. Things like these didn’t happen. Wishes didn’t come true like this. But Oli felt nothing short of real in my arms.
“Again,” I demanded.
“I love you.”
I had to bask in the delight for a while. Giggles and smiles and soft kisses peppered all over his face followed. Then, more questions.
“How long have you known?” I whispered, still, as if we were discussing a secret that was just ours, just for now, before the rest of the world was allowed to listen in. Now that the seal on his secret was broken though, I wanted to learn every single thing about it.
“Well, once upon a time, many, many years ago, I entered my tour bus and the first thing I laid my eyes across was the greatest ass in the world in the tiniest pair of hot pants sticking out from my bunk because someone had gotten mixed up on where they were supposed to sleep-”
Oli avoided the playful slap coming his way, catching onto my wrist and pressing a kiss on it before letting go again. I could feel him smile on my skin.
“You absolutely did not fall in love with me from seeing my ass before you saw my face.”
He sighed in mock annoyance. “You’re really going to make me go all sappy here, aren’t you.”
“I’m not letting you out of this bed until you do.”
“That’s not as much of a threat as you think it is.”
I allowed him to press a kiss to my forehead but pulled back quickly. He wasn’t going to get away with not answering, not now. I was desperate for every tiny sliver of truth I could get from him.
“I happened gradually, you know?” Oli explained and I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d ever seen him this serious, this sincere. “I think it’s been in the making for a while. But when we didn’t see each other for, like, a year, it just hit me differently. So me inviting you on this tour might just have been a tad selfish.”
I couldn’t even blame him. Not for this. I knew he hadn’t expected anything of me when he offered to get me a job on this tour. And realistically, none of us could have seen coming what had transpired in the past days. But suddenly I was more thankful than ever for that fateful phonecall just a few months back.
“I’ve been in love for you for a while,” he admitted. “But now I also know that I love you.”
He got buried under a plethora of kisses for that alone.
The kissing distracted us for a while. Every time I looked at him and those eyes that suddenly shone so clearly with love, I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing his face and pulling him close again. It was like a drug whose dosage had just increased tenfold and I wanted more and more and more. Only when he finally separated from me for a moment, his eyes not quite shining the way mine did, did I realise.
“You don’t need to say it back,” he mumbled, stroking my hair in such a delicate manner that I wished I could purr to convey just how perfectly comfortable I was. He was trying to be brave. As if it was okay for him that he’d just bared his soul and I’d simply taken it all with open arms and a smile. As if he didn’t need to hear those words just as badly. That he could accept if I didn’t feel the same.
In reality, I’d simply been so caught up in this utopia that had just opened up for me that I’d not even noticed I hadn’t said it. Those three words that had been swimming in my brain for longer than I’d consciously been aware of.
“Oli,” I whispered, laying both of my hands on his cheeks so I could direct his face back toward me. I needed to make sure he was looking at me, really looking at me. I knew he would have trouble believing it otherwise. “Oliver. I love you.”
“Are you-”
“Yes. I love you. And I’ll tell you a thousand times if you let me. I’ve been thinking about telling you I’m in love with you so many times, you have no idea. Just going over it in my head again and again. I was so scared to say it and ruin everything. But if I’m being honest with myself, I couldn’t have held it in for much longer. You simply had the guts to say it first.”
“Aubrey-”
“No. Shush. I love you.”
I couldn’t tell how many times we repeated those words to each other. Neither of us seemed to be quite able to grasp the novelty of the situation. How everything between us had changed now, officially. No more backing away. No pretending that we were just having fun, no strange friends-with-benefits situation that kept crossing lines. It was terrifying as much as it was absolutely exhilarating.
When night slowly started giving way to morning though, our ridiculous happiness experienced a bit of a damper. It wasn’t just the fact that a new day was starting, throwing us into new chaos and questions on how to navigate whatever we now were. It was also the knowledge that this mess didn’t just include the two of us.
“What about Noah?” I unhelpfully threw in. I didn’t even know where to start that discussion. I didn’t even know what needed to be discussed after all.
“I don’t… I don’t want to stop. Whatever we’re doing with him. It’s just…”
“Me neither.”
A sigh rattled through Oli’s chest, so deep and full of worries that I couldn’t help pulling him a little closer, as if that would alleviate his stress or somehow make the situation better.
“I’m not sure what I want. In the long term.”
I let the silence fall for a moment. He was so deep in thoughts I almost felt bad about pulling him back to reality. But he was in danger of going into overthinking territory again.
“Do you know what you feel for him?”
Maybe it was the darkness embracing us that made it a little easier for Oli to talk about it. Maybe it was the euphoria still coursing through his veins. Maybe we’d managed to elevate outselves to a new level of trust between us.
“I think…” He paused for a moment. I didn’t say anything. I simply allowed him to take the time to sort his thoughts as much as he was able to. “I think I know. Somehow. I’m just not sure if I can put it in words yet. And Noah…”
“Yeah,” I agreed. Even if he hadn’t said it out loud, I had an idea of where his train of thought was taking him. “He’s… I think he needs some more time.”
“Do we tell him?”
“Tell him what? That we said ‘I love you’ to each other?”
“That you’re my girlfriend.”
The blush came so abruptly and with such heat, even before I’d fully registered his words. Suddenly, my heart was beating with the insane intensity of being in love once again. I didn’t know if I wanted to throw up or laugh until my body gave up, just to alleviate the feeling.
“Am I?” I giggled, much more high-pitched than I usually sounded, but my voice was beyond control. “Is that what we are now? Girlfriend and boyfriend?”
“Fuck off,” he exclaimed, but he was sporting a smile so big I could see his sharp canines. In an instant, his hands moved, suddenly tickling my stomach and all I could do was cry out attempts of ‘no’ and ‘stop’ while gasping for air and struggling to get away. “This is not funny.”
He was laughing out loud anyway. When he stopped, fingers still hovering in dangerous places, my breathing quick and hectic, he stared down at me with a grin.
“Say you’ll be my girl or I’ll keep this up until bus call.”
I had no fight in me and no energy to survive another attack.
“I already am. I’m your girl, Oli.”
I could have stayed in our little bubble of love forever, doing nothing but staring at Oli and reminding myself that this was real. That he loved me. That he wanted me. Even with the nagging feeling in both of our beings that we hadn’t quite figured it out yet. Not with the third puzzle piece missing.
I wondered how Noah’s night had been. If the guys had managed to talk to him. How he felt. If his bed had seemed as empty as ours.
The ever-increasing alarm on my phone, still somewhere in a bag in Oli’s living room but rising in crescendo to the point where we easily heard it still, reminded me that I was waiting for some sort of information from Nicky. It was enough motivation to get up and get ready for the day. Just about.
Kicking Oli out of bed with me (under loud protest about his lack of sleep which I really couldn’t undo), I quickly made my way to my phone, caring much less about being completely naked than the sound that was starting to grind my gears. Two messages were waiting for me. I swiped away the one from my roommate, who unfortunately now possessed my number after I’d called her, deciding that her question about when I’d pick up my stuff could wait another day. The other one was more interesting anyway.
Unknown number Barely got anything out of Noah last night but I think he’s open to talk to you if you have some time. Maybe hop on our bus for the ride to London? I’d made sure the two of you get some space. Let me know so we don’t drive off without you. Nicholas Ruffilo
I chuckled at the way he signed the goddamn text with his whole name as if this was a business transaction, then added his number to my phone.
“Oli!” I shouted for him. His head poked around the corner almost immediately. “Mind if I drive to London with Bad Omens? Nicholas said Noah might talk.”
“You’re my girl for, what, four hours and you already leave me for another band!” He exclaimed, approaching me with long strides, hands immediately on my bare ass. He had only just managed to put on a pair of clean boxershorts and I repaid the gesture by letting my fingers trail down his chest. “Unbelievable.”
“I’ll make sure to make it up to you when we get there.” My fingers ghosted over his bulge, just for a second, before I pulled away completely. As much as I wanted to play him, I knew we had no time and several people waiting for us. “You can decide how.”
“That’ll do,” he chuckled, pulling me in for a kiss so bruising and passionate it almost knocked me off my feet. “I kind of need to run an errand before bus call anyway.”
“An errand?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll call you a cab to drop you off there and then I’ll see you in London, yeah?”
I worried about it immensely but there was no chance he was going to tell me anything so I nodded instead. I needed to get dressed and leave soon anyway if I was going to make it on time. Oli had already pressed his phone to his ear, the ringing loud enough for me to hear, but even with the other person picking up any minute, he couldn’t seem to help himself as he started at me and mouthed another I love you.
I couldn’t blame him. I wanted to tell him the same words for the rest of my life.
•••
Nick greeted me with a hug when I found him in the car park which felt new but not entirely unwelcome. He looked pretty fresh and awake which I took as a good sign. I hoped it would mean no one got terribly drunk last night. And that it ended on a good note, without any fights or insane stress to either party of the band.
“How was last night then? And this is not a small-talk question.”
Nick chuckled as he let me through the parked cars and busses. “Not terrible, which seems like a win. We let him know we were worried about him and he basically apologised which was unnecessary. There’s… a lot going on in his brain I think. But toward the end of the night he kept babbling about how he just wanted to talk to you, again and again.”
Nick caught my worried look immediately as we came to a half in front of the bus.
“He wasn’t drunk, don’t worry. He had like, two beers. I think he was just overly tired and… well, stressed. We got him into bed as early as possible but he’s a bit beat with the early start.”
“I think we all are,” I laughed, more to myself than anything else. I’d not gotten a single minute of sleep after Oli’s confession and neither had he. Which was why he was under strict instructions to spend the drive sleeping to at least have some sort of energy for tonight. I didn’t need to be responsible for him falling asleep on stage.
Nick agreed with a smile, unlocking the door. I was halfway to entering the bus when his hand on my arm stopped me.
“I think you could be good for him, you know. Both of you.”
I willed the blush to keep at bay. “Even Oli?”
Nick laughed, loudly bur earnestly. “Even Oli.”
•••
I found Noah in the lounge at the back, on his own, playing with his phone. He seemed surprised to see me there for a split second but then opened up his arms in a silent plea for comfort. Who was I to deny him. Leaving my bag right where I stood, I walked up to him, dropping down on the couch and pulling him into my arms. If they were anywhere close to being a safe place for him as his and Oli’s arms were for me, it was truly the least I could do.
He was so warm and comfortable against me that I silently hoped we would stay like this all the way until London. The motor of the bus had started, rumbling through the whole vehicle as we exited the car park, and I had to fight against the monotone lull that threatened to make me fall asleep. I wanted to talk to Noah first. Even if my eyelids were heavily protesting.
“Did you have fun with the guys last night?” I carefully asked.
Noah didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he proceeded to sink lower and lower, shuffle in his seat until he was basically horizontal, and then put his head in my lap. I slid a little further as well, trying to make my thighs a comfortable pillow for him, and started combing through his hair with my fingers. I figured he was a little bit like Oli - even if he was ready to talk, sometimes it was simply easier to do so without having to look at the other person.
“I missed you,” he mumbled. “And Oli.”
“That’s very sweet, but not answering my question,” I chuckled, enjoying the softness of his strands on my palm. “I hope they didn’t stress you out too much?”
“No.” A sigh. “If anything I’ve been stressing them out. I’ve been a little irate with them for no good reason.”
“Disregarding your judgement of it, there was a reason for it though, right?”
“I guess so.”
I poked his shoulder, unsatisfied with the answer, which took him by surprise because he twitched so heavily that he almost rolled off my lap and the couch. I slung one of my arms around his middle, keeping him in position.
“I’ve just been thinking about what we’re doing, a lot,” he admitted. “And every time the guys teased me about some shit regarding you or Oli, it just hit a nerve because I wasn’t figuring it out and it reminded me of the fact that I had no idea where this was going. I shouldn’t have taken my moods out on them.”
“I think they understand.”
“I think they can’t risk losing their frontman,” Noah commented, but even he couldn’t stay serious at the idea, a light and airy giggle erupting his throat that I couldn’t help but join. “I apologized to them. And I’ll make sure to… talk to people instead of figuring it out on my own. And tell them if they’re crossing my boundaries.”
“Well done, Noah.” I grabbed one of his hands, briefly bringing it up to my mouth to press a kiss on it before dropping it again, then resumed to comb through his hair. “Have you… have your figured out some stuff, though? About… about what you want? I know we had that talk in the pub a while ago where we agreed on just fun but…”
I let the question linger in the air. Truth be told, I was terrified of being any more direct. Of asking him straight out. I had literally just figured some things out with Oli mere hours before, now I was in the eye of the storm of another deeply emotional conversation and it left me exhausted and on edge. The idea of being the first one to speak up about what I was feeling proved to be a little too much right now.
“I lied.”
The short statement caught me off guard. I didn’t realise the hand in his hair had stilled until he patted at it with his own, trying to get me to continue. Only when I did, did he resume speaking.
“I lied when I said that. I… I never really wanted to just have fun. But the idea of anything more than that terrifies me.”
I wanted to ask him if it wasn’t a bit late for that. If he thought going out on dates, spending day and night with us, learning all about each other, sharing so much more than kisses still meant he was in safe territory. If he believed that he could be in the middle of this without catching feelings. But I didn’t.
“What is it about it that terrifies you?” I asked instead.
“What doesn’t.”
The urgency to prod further, force him to explain was burning inside of me, but I knew it wasn’t fair. Noah was already being more honest with me than he had been in days. The least I could do was have some more patience.
“I think I need some more time,” he finally said. “I want- I want to figure this out. Can you give me some time? All these new things in my head at the moment. I’d never even kissed a man before and now-”
“Now what, Noah? You can say it, you know. I won’t judge.”
“Now I can’t stop thinking about being on my knees for him all the time and letting him do whatever he wants with me.”
The heat between my legs erupted as suddenly as it did forcefully. Whatever I had expected, it wasn’t a confession of this sort. Of this level of honesty. And now that the idea was planted in my head, I knew I’d have the utmost trouble thinking about anything else.
But this wasn’t about me and my arousal, not right now.
“I’m pretty sure Oli would love to do that for you, darling. All you have to do is ask.”
“Maybe you could tell him,” he replied, so quietly I was barely sure I’d heard it at all. “And… and I’d like you to be there too.”
“Yeah? Is that what you want? For me to tell Oli to do you however he pleases? That you… want to be a good boy for him? Be told what to do? And you’d let me watch, too? Maybe get a little involved?”
He squirmed a little underneath my hands, but ultimately nodded.
“I’ll let him know, love. We have a lot of time tomorrow before the show. A lot of time to explore whatever you want, okay? Maybe…” I took a deep breath. “Maybe it’ll help you figure out what you want a little more.”
I could only pray it would.
•••
“Do you know if Dom’s here yet?”
Oli was walking half next to me, half behind me as I made my way onto the floor of the arena, awkwardly trying to rub my sore neck that had been through hell after accidentally falling asleep on the bus with Noah for… a while. I shook him off when Becky waved me in to the sound booth, feeling strangely awkward about his public display of affection when we hadn’t quite told anyone about this new development in our relationship.
It was weird, really. Just yesterday, I wouldn’t have minded, knowing that people would talk and gossip if they wanted either way. Now that I knew he loved me, wanted me to be his and that we hadn’t let Noah, who was fumbling around with his mic on stage, know anything about it yet, I felt a lot more nervous about how everything could be interpreted.
“Who’s Dom?”
“Dominic Harrison. Yungblud.”
“Right,” I sighed. Apparently my brain was so full of questions about my bloody love life that I’d completely forgotten about the fact that Oli was going to perform Obey with him today. I attempted to visualise the agenda I’d double-checked just before, knowing Oli would have to fend for himself a little more now that I was helping Becky out. “No, not as far as I know. He’s scheduled to come in for soundcheck.”
“Ah, boring,” Oli complained. “Well, I’ll leave you to… whatever you two need to be doing here then.”
“Wait,” I called after him after he had already turned away. “What was that errand about? Everything go alright?”
“Everything went perfectly. You’ll find out later.”
He left me with a smug look on his face and an undefinable feeling in my stomach. Asshole. He knew very well I was going to be thinking about this for the foreseeable future.
At least work actually distracted me sufficiently enough that it wasn’t quite as torturous. Becky did her best to dumb down everything she was explaining to me to a level that my brain could at least somewhat process and I was very thankful for it. I could tell she wanted to throw all the technical jargon at me, but that would have simply ended up in even more chaos. It didn’t mean I wasn’t willing to learn - anytime we had a small break in between things that actually needed immediate attention, she explained every single step, every decision, every reasoning behind it in as much detail as she could and I soaked it all up like a sponge.
We successfully made it through Bad Omens’ soundcheck with minimal problems. Bring Me The Horizon went almost as perfectly, minus the fact that we now had to adjust Dom’s mic as well and Dom was so bloody excited about everything that he kept ignoring our questions and orders alike. Him and Oli were an explosive combination, but Oli looked so ridiculously happy that I couldn’t even be mad at them for slacking off.
“Alright, we’re done here for now,” Becky announced after we’d finally, somehow, managed to get both Dom and Oli in check enough to make sure they’d sound perfect on stage later. “You can take the next two hours off and then I’ll meet you back here?”
“Sounds perfect. Actually, I could very much do with a nap, maybe-”
“Aubrey!” Oli’s voice cut through the whole arena now that it was mostly quiet again. “Dinner with Dom and Noah! Come!”
I turned back to Becky with a sigh.
“No rest for the wicked, I guess.”
•••
If I’d thought having dinner at our hotel right next to the arena meant that we might finish quickly enough and give me time for some shut eye, I was solely mistaken. Noah and Oli were quite chaotic as it was - but with Dom added into the mix, I was surprised we didn’t get kicked out for the ruckus caused. Every now and then, Dom and Oli would get into ridiculously specific anecdotes from their respective hometowns, their accents growing thicker and thicker until all Noah could do was stare at them in utter confusion and amazement.
“So, who here is fucking because I’m getting mad sexual energy from all of you guys.”
On top of it, he seriously lacked a filter. I watched Noah closely, waiting for the awkward blush to appear on his face, but it didn’t happen. He looked mildly uncomfortable at worst and he was definitely not going to be the one to speak up, but it was a world’s different to the last time someone had insinuated the three of us were more than friends.
Oli, on the other hand, was more comfortable than ever. Maybe it was that Dom was a close friend and he simply didn’t mind sharing with him. Maybe it was down to the fact that at least he and I had gotten closer to officially defining our relationship. I embraced it either way.
“Can you blame me? Look at these two!”
Now it was my turn to blush, caused entirely by the way Dom was eyeing me up and down, one eyebrow raised suggestively, the look in his eyes unmistakable. He gave Noah the same treatment which simply ended up with him fixating very hard on what was left on his plate, randomly shuffling some food around, just to avoid the stare. Apparently, Oli treating him like eye candy was one thing, an essential stranger a very different one.
“It’s pretty hard to escape Oli’s charms,” I mused, playfully kicking him under the table.
“Is that what you call his dick?”
Oli erupted in laughter as Noah sank deeper into his plate, but even that didn’t fully hide the grin emerging on his face. “Fucking hell, Dom, I’m gonna have to pay off the waitress to keep quiet if you don’t stop shouting through the place.”
“What, you didn’t do that before I came? Bad planning on your part, pal,” Dom chuckled, heavily hitting Oli’s shoulder. “Right, gimme the details though. You three hooking up or are we talking something more? Because you know I love me a good threesome. For sex and anything else. From experience.”
“Wait, you’ve been in poly relationships?” I couldn’t help but ask. I’d never personally had the chance to meet Dom, so most of my knowledge came from interviews or social media or whatever escapade Oli decided to tell me about. This was new.
“Sure! The more the merrier, I say! Well, up to a point, after that you just kinda lose track, ya know?”
“Was jealousy ever a problem?” Noah spoke up out of nowhere. He’d been so quiet I’d almost forgotten he was part of this conversation at all. And now he wasn’t just joining it but posing relevant questions. It was hard to keep my mind at bay when it came to the possible implications of it.
“In which way?” Dom asked, suddenly more serious than he had been all day. As if knew how badly Noah might need some answers. Some clarifications. Some reassurance. I didn’t want to be too hopeful, but it seemed like a good sign.
“What if…” He swallowed, hard, as if on the edge of pulling back, making a stupid joke, get his shield back up so we wouldn’t see his vulnerable side. So we wouldn’t know. But, to my utmost surprise, he didn’t. “What if there’s just a different familiarity between two of them because… because they’ve known each other longer and they live closer together and… yeah.”
Oli really didn’t need to kick me but he still did, as if there was any chance in hell I’d not understood what exactly Noah was referring to. I tried desperately to make sense of it before Dom would start speaking again. Did this mean he actually wanted this? Us? Were the insecurities holding him back? Did he think he wouldn’t be a full part of this relationship if he agreed to it? That Oli and I, somehow, had something between us he’d never get to the level of? I had a million things to say but I knew it wasn’t my turn.
“Nah mate, you gotta let go of that kinda thinking,” Dom said. He had pushed his plate away and was now leaning on his elbows, on the table, staring at Noah so intently that the latter had no choice but to listen. “History doesn’t matter like that when you get into a relationship and neither does distance. So what if they’ve known each other for years? Unless you’re joining an existent romantic relationship, this is new for all of you and you gotta figure out how the three of you work together.”
Noah nodded, gravely, before going back to playing with the scraps on his plate, as Oli and I exchanged worried looks. Or were they hopeful? It was hard to differentiate all the emotions coursing through me. I wanted to know more, figure out what else had been plaguing Noah’s mind, but it was clear his moment of bravery had run out.
“Any more tips for the newly polyamorous then?” Oli asked with a giggle in his voice. Noah briefly looked back up at him with something akin to shock but hid it quickly enough that I wasn’t sure if anyone but me had noticed at all.
“Get to know each other as much as you can and never take anyone for granted. Make the distance work for you. Get everyone as involved as you can, but remember that when someone feels left out because of things like being far away, it’s not a matter of the other two loving them any less.”
“I think that’s the wisest thing I’ve ever heard you say, mate,” Oli laughed, causing a ripple of chuckles around the table as the tension fell off.
“And it’s gonna stay the wisest thing I’ll say tonight because as soon as I’m off that stage, I’ll get myself drunk, watch me.”
“Dom, you’ve already had two drinks,” I remarked, pointing at the empty glasses on the table.
“I never said I was staying sober until then.”
•••
The show went more than well. I had less time than ever to actually watch what the bands were doing on stage and just get myself lost in it, but now it felt like being involved, being part of it, in a whole different way. I was trying hard to keep up with Becky and her orders, but she kept enough of an eye on me that any mistakes were quickly spotted and fixed. It felt exhilarating. Even more so when I got showered in praise about how well I’d done for essentially my first ever life show afterwards.
Understandably, I was riding a high when I was picking up my stuff backstage, trying to figure out where everyone was. My phone quickly answered the question.
Oli You got a key to my room? Come round Got a surprise
Suspicious. Suspicious as hell, actually. Still, I did have that keycard and I couldn’t resist a good surprise. And with Oli behind it, there was no doubt I was going to like it. The walk to the hotel was quick, as was the ride up to the correct floor. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was expecting. Right now, it could truly be anything from Oli lying naked on his bed with whipped cream all over himself to a cosy movie night with my favourite hot chocolate.
Apparently, the surprise wasn’t a visual one though, because the only thing I saw when I opened the door to his room was Oli and Noah on the couch kissing so softly that it almost made my heart ache. They were fully intertwined, limbs entangled and all over each other and it gave me hope like nothing before ever had. That wasn’t making out or fucking for the fun of it. This was both of them pouring the emotions they couldn’t vocalise just yet into every single movement.
I briefly contemplated leaving, giving them some space and time, but I knew Oli had specifically asked for me and it simply felt too good to be alone with both of them  once again. So, instead, I let the door fall back into the frame very, very gently, locking it for good measure. It was enough to get their attention. When they looked in my direction, both of them had glazed eyes and lips they’d kissed red and all I could think about was taking a picture to keep this image in my mind forever.
“Aubrey!” Oli called out, sounding as ecstatic to see me as ever. I was relieved to see Noah send a serene smile my way too. “First things first, your surprise.”
He was on his feet in an instant, rummaging through his bag. I shot Noah a look, but he simply shrugged his shoulders.
When Oli turned around again, his hands were behind his back, hiding whatever he had just located in his luggage.
“I know you’re not a fan of handouts, so I want you to know that this isn’t one, yeah?” Oli explained. “But I wanted to help out and I could, so I did.”
“Oli,” I whined. “Just tell me.”
“Just- before I give it to you, one more thing: This is completely on your terms and you decide how we do this, but… yeah.”
I didn’t immediately realise what I was seeing when Oli opened up his hand to me and revealed the item in his palm. In fact, I spotted the keychain first - the missing, beloved Powerpuff keychain I’d already assumed I would never see again, but here it was being offered back to me, now attached to-
Keys.
A pair of keys.
“Is that-”
“The keys to my place. Again, we can handle this any way you like, we can be roommates, I have a spare room I can empty out or you can just… stay with me. In my bed. And all. Up to you. But you have a place to stay, always. Temporarily until you find something new or… permanently. Okay?”
I wasn’t sure how I managed to let him finish his awkward and slightly jumbled speech before I all but jumped on him, arms wrapped around his neck, hanging on for dear life as I willed the tears to disappear. I buried my face in his shirt, hoping I wouldn’t leave a stain and I whispered words of gratefulness.
It didn’t feel like a handout. Not with him. Not when I knew he wouldn’t do this out of anything but love for me, never pity. And with the words we’d exchanged just that morning, it meant even more.
“Is that the errand you needed to run this morning?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, almost as if a little embarrassed. “I’d been planning to get copies made for you for a while but that was the only time I could fit it in.”
“I can’t believe you had the fucking keychain all along and I almost cried on Lee’s shoulder.”
The kiss I pressed to his lips through my giggles, with so much force that I almost toppled both of us over, said more than I could in words. It was only when I let go of him and caught sight of Noah out of the corner of my eye that I realised how awfully quiet he was. He smiled up at us from where he still sat on the couch, but it wasn’t the honest kind of smile he’d graced us with earlier. It was stilted and forced and I knew exactly why.
Luckily, so did Oli.
“And now, for the sad-looking doe eyes over there.” Oli made a little spectacle out of pulling another pair of keys from his luggage, dangling them in the air like a prized possession. “I really tried to steal your keychain too but it was fucking impossible because I couldn’t figure out where you had it, but you get a set too. If you want. I know you have a place and all that but… You’re welcome at mine any time, no asking or prior notifications needed. It’s yours to turn up to anytime.”
If anything, Noah now looked a little embarrassed, possibly at Oli so easily realising what he was battling with and fixing it so brilliantly. I could just imagine Noah’s head spinning thinking Oli wouldn’t care for him like that, only for him to turn it around completely and proving he had, in fact, thought about this situation long before Noah had even known it would exist.
Noah sheepishly took the keys, letting himself be pulled into another kiss by Oli.
“So pretty when you blush like that,” Oli mused, which only deepend the colour on Noah’s cheeks, but even he had to chuckle then. Another kiss ended up on Noah’s nose, then on mine, and it was so unexpected and unfamiliar that it had all of us erupting in giggles.
It continued like that. There was no need to discuss what we were doing as clothes started dropping on the floor, all of us overly tired but needy and touch-starved and willing to push sleeping just a little further back to finally be reunited as the three of us. The atmosphere was lighter than it had been in a while and even though we all knew that there were things left to figure out and things left to say, just for the moment we let ourselves fall into the idea that this could be easy.
The clumsiness that came with it only spurred on the mood, Oli stumbling as he got stuck in his trousers, Noah throwing his own away and then immediately retrieving it to get the condoms from his wallet, neither of them succeeding in unhooking my bra until I swatted their hands away and did it myself.
I kicked my panties off without any further help, fearing we’d risk injury if we continued having any garments at all around us, and crawled up the bed, leaning back on my elbows, watching as Oli pushed Noah down next to me to kiss him again, their growing erections touching and letting moans erupt between them. I silently reminded myself to talk to Oli about what Noah had said earlier. Just seeing them together now manifested my wish to be there when they took their next step, if they let me.
“How about we get our girl here ready for us?” I heard Oli whisper against Noah's lips. “I get her nice and wet on my dick and then you finish her off.”
My breath audibly hitched, much to the amusement of both men next to me. In an instant, Oli moved from Noah to me, hovering over my body but denying me the kiss I was hoping for. Instead, his lips found my neck, leaving little love bites all the way down until they settled on my breast, eagerly lapping at my nipple until I was arching my back toward him, a hand tangled in his hair, quietly gasping for more. I didn't realise Noah was moving until I felt his mouth on my other breast. The pleasure was intense, shooting straight down my body as I wriggle under Oli. Both of them kept switching between sweet licks and kisses and teasing bites until I was sure I could feel the wetness drip from between my legs.
“One day, we'll make you come just from this, but tonight we've got other plans,” Oli grinned, pinching my nipple so hard that I cried out in surprise, briefly taken aback by how much I enjoyed the roughness of it.
I didn't have enough time to think about it when Oli and Noah removed their mouths from me, only for the former to descend on my pussy, leaving long, teasing licks on it before plunging it inside me. My hands immediately flew back to his head, but he only needed to look up and shoot a stare at Noah for the other man to understand. Immediately, my hands were removed, a tight grip on my wrists as Noah lifted them above my head, heavily pressing them into the mattress without any wriggle room.
“Come on, Aubrey, be a good girl for Oli. He's prepping you so nicely for our cocks. Doesn't have to do that, you know? We could just fuck you like this, see how much you stretch around us, how well you take us without any help.” I moaned so loudly at Noah's words that even Oli briefly lifted his head. “You want that, don't you? You want us to push your limits.”
Oli didn't give me a chance to confirm or deny as his strong arms flipped my body over on my front without any effort at all. Noah threw a condom at him, so perfectly in sync that I wondered just how much they had discussed beforehand. Oli pulled my hips up to meet his, his hard cock pressing against my arse while Noah grabbed onto my chin.
“How about you give me that mouth again while Oli fucks you good, hm? And don't you dare come until it's my turn.”
I complied willingly. Oli entered me slowly but in one single stroke until he was fully buried in me and my head dropped at the welcome intrusion, sweat prickling on my skin as I tried to accommodate his size. Noah didn't have any pity on me though as he sat down in front of my face, easily leading my mouth to his dick, forcing me to take it straight away. I moaned around his length as Oli started finding his rhythm.
“Fuck,” Noah moaned as he pushed my down a little further. “I've made some bad decisions but thank fuck they led me right here.”
“Yeah?” Oli piped up from behind me, briefly slowly down. “Some bad, bad decisions, Noah?”
The laugh ripped from my throat so harshly that I accidentally choked on Noah's cock before I freed my mouth, sputtering with giggles.
“Oh, come on,” Noah groaned, absentmindedly petting my head as he shot daggers at Oli.
“I'm just saying, you have a lot more sexy lyrics to choose from. Like the way you fuck, the way you taste and all that.”
I felt another bout of laughter rise up, but Noah obviously thought it was time to stuff my mouth again and pushed me back onto him.
“Why don't you stick to your own lyrics,” he mumbled, already getting distracted again by my tongue running along his length as I willed myself to take a little more every time.
“You know I might,” Oli remarked, resuming a hard rhythm that left me completely at his mercy. “I'm quite partial to I love the way you choke.”
The next thrust was even harsher, forcing me to indeed choke on Noah as Oli was now fully in charge of the way my body moved. Every time he almost pulled out, he dragged me back with him to the point where I barely managed to keep my lips on Noah's tip, then he pushed back in so doing that I came close to deepthroating him.
I loved it.
I loved being brainless, losing all my agency, being treated as nothing more than a little toy for them to play with. It had never been so incredibly obvious to me but I already knew I'd be begging on my knees asking for more soon.
Now, however, Oli was getting close, his moans getting louder and his movements a little sloppier and much too soon he was pulling out, wrecking me away from Noah and pushing me onto my back again. I watched, utterly restless and impatient and empty, as he shed the condom and started stroking himself. I'd expected him to ask to come on me, my tits, maybe my face but instead he was looking at Noah.
With a small nod, their communication completely silent, Noah moved toward him, slowly palming his own erection and within moments, Oli's eyes never leaving his, Oli came, covering Noah's chest and abdomen in beautiful streaks.
Oli fell onto the bed, utterly spent and showcasing a satisfied smile, but Noah was more hungry than ever. Fumbling with the night stand, he made quick work of putting on a condom, hissing at every touch as his thick cock immediately bounced against his stomach as he let go, before roughly spreading my legs and without any further warning pushed into me.
He was rougher than Oli, hovering over me as his arms caged me in, pressing his forehead to mine as he pounded into me so hard that I knew I'd feel sore tomorrow, but I welcomed it with open arms. I could feel the remains of Oli dripping on me, coating us both in it further. I let him push my legs backward, bent at the knees, almost folding me in half and the change of angle almost brought tears to my eyes. He felt even larger like this, moving against every single spot I craved with every thrust.
“Such a good little whore for us, letting both of us fuck you and just taking it all,” Noah groaned roughly. I was close to unravelling. “Can't fucking get enough, can you? Perfect little pussy that's just made for us. Come on, touch yourself, squeeze around me, I wanna feel you.”
It barely took a moment when I touched my clit, and when he gave me particularly hard thrust I all but screamed, grinding into him and against my hard, the whole world quieting down for a moment as my orgasm took me, prolonged by the way he sounded when he came too, nothing but bliss left in my body.
Oli welcomed me with open arms as Noah pulled out carefully, kissing my hair and whispering words of praise. A bottle of water was handed to me, then Noah appeared with a towel to clean me up. I hissed when he reached down between my legs, his rough treatment still tingling.
“Did I go too hard on you?” he immediately asked, halting his movements, worry in his eyes.
“No!” I immediately rejected his fears. “No, I loved it, honestly. Just a little sore now.”
He pressed a loving kiss to the inside of my thigh, then cleaned me up as quickly as possible. When he came back from the bathroom, he slid into bed next to us and I couldn't back bite a smile at the realisation that he'd chosen to lie down on Oli's other side instead of mine. He didn't hesitate as he moulded himself to Oli's back, looking so relaxed and comfortable. I crawled into Oli's arms too, noting that he looked just as happy about Noah's affections.
There were a million things running through my mind still. Questions about our relationship, about Oli’s and Noah's feelings for each other. A reminder I needed to speak to Oli about Noah's wish. A nagging desire to tell them I was realising just how roughly I liked it with them. But none of them made their way out of my brain as sleep took over all three of us, letting us fall asleep in a puddle of post-orgasmic haze and at least temporary happiness.
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daisyblog · 3 months
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Birthday Celebrations
Too Young Masterlist Summary: YN tuns 30.
YN didn’t want a huge fuss for her thirtieth birthday, she wanted it to be surrounded by her family. So before she and Arthur jetted off to join Louis in Australia, she had a few small celebrations. 
Whilst Arthur had a sleepover at Uncle Harry’s, YN had a girls day with her Mum, Gemma and Louis’ sisters. Their day started at the spa, where they all enjoyed some relaxation and a swim in the pool. Their evening ended with a dinner and some drinks. 
When YN and Harry were younger, they always loved spending the night of their birthday in one of their rooms watching a film with their favourite snacks. But as they got older and life become busier, their tradition dwindled away. But this year, they had arranged for them to carry on their favourite memory but with Arthur included. They had made the living area of YN and Louis’ house into a cosy room with duvets, pillows and blankets covered with every snack they could. 
With Louis having a couple of days off in between shows, they made the most of their time together. They had days at the beach and pool, and finished off their days with a family meal. 
The morning of YN’s birthday, Louis and Arthur had surprised her with a breakfast in bed, where they showered her with love, cards and presents. But YN’s favourite was definitely the pained rock Arthur had given her with a handmade card. After spending the day celebrating and all of Louis’ friends and team throwing her little birthday lunch, it had been arranged for Arthur to stay with Oli for the evening for YN and Louis to have a quiet dinner together. 
Louis took her to her favourite restaurant where they enjoyed much needed alone time, to be Louis and YN and not just Mum and Dad. As the night drew in, they headed back to the hotel where they were staying. 
They stumbled into their room, as their lips moved against each others. Small moans and hums spoke between them, as they held onto the other. 
It wasn’t until YN broke their kiss, that she noticed their once plain room was now covered in fairy lights and red petals that spelt the words “Marry me?” on the bedsheet. She gasped, her hands coming up to cover her shocked expression. 
She turned to look at Louis, who was now knelt down on one knee with a box in his hand. “I want to do a whole speech about how much I love you and everything, but you know how fooking shit I am with words”. YN let out a giggle at how real Louis was keeping it. “Will you marry me?”. 
“Yes…a thousand times yes!”. Louis placed the ring on YN’s finger, before kissing her with so much passion and love. “I’m going to be your wife!”.
“I can’t fooking wait!”. Louis smiled as the stayed wrapped up in one and other. “I’d marry you now if I could.”. 
As they were laying in bed, Louis still admiring the ring that he had kept hidden for weeks, YN broke the silence. “I’ve got a present for you.”. 
“For me?”. Louis was confused. “It’s not my birthday though.”. 
YN got up from the bed, where they were both laying and began to rummage through her suitcase until she found the bag she was looking for. She placed the bag in Louis’ hand as she sat slightly in front of him. He kept looking between YN and the bag, like it was going to give him the answer. 
The moment Louis picked up the small piece of clothing, YN’s eyes began to well up. Louis looked between the words printed on the vest and back to his now fiancée. 
“A-are you?”. Louis was reluctant to believe the words  ‘Baby Tomlinson due September 2024’ that looked back at him. But when YN smiled and gently nodded, his eyes began to water. “We’re having a baby?”. 
“We’re having a baby!”. YN placed his hand on the tiny bulge that covered the little one.
Louis leaned down and gently lifted her top, and placed small kisses on her soft skin and whimpering a quiet “Daddy loves you so much”. 
After trying for nearly a year to conceive their second baby to only be faced with negative tests, their time had come where not only were they getting married, but their little family was finally growing. 
ynstyles and louist91
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ynstyles YES❤️ View all 23,543 comments
niallhoran It’s about damn time! Congratulations guys!!
harrystyles ❤️
gemmastyles My baby sister is getting married🥹
annetwist I haven’t stopped crying! Congratulations to both, you deserve all the love and happiness. Love you❤️❤️❤️
lottietomlinson Finally!!! Congratulations!! I can finally call you my sister 🤍🤍🤍
thepheobetomlinson AHHHHH!!!🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️
the.daisytomlinson YES YES YES!!! AHHH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH!
liampayne Yes man!! So happy for you xx
louteasdale Congratulations my darlings xx
zayn congrats both!
daniellepeazer Congratulations ❤️
sallietommo Congratulations to you both! Love you all❤️❤️❤️
Taglist:@jillsvalentinex @itsmytimetoodream @peterholland04 @youcan-nolonger-run @chronicallybubbly
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alexsfavgirl · 2 months
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REAL IN THE FLESH
➪ pairing : oliver quick x reader, implied relationship with felix catton and reader
➪ sypnosis : you didn’t have a lot of time to talk with oliver, but now you do, and it’s terrifying
➪ other notes : currently can’t write for bsd, but saltburn is currently my new obsession
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the summer sun beams on both of you as you lay down on the green grass. oliver was sitting up next to you, gazing at his surroundings. “we haven’t gotten to talk much have we oliver ?” you ask him, you turn your head towards him. “suppose not,” the quiet boy says. “do you like it here ? in saltburn, i mean,” you say, attempting to form conversation.
“it’s lovely, better than home,” he simply says. home. home to oliver seemed monstrous, well from what felix had told you before. “where’s your home ?” oliver asks you. you hum, taken aback from the question. “not far, we have a nice house but i’ve always passed summers here in saltburn, since felix and i started dating,” you respond sighing.
“do you like it ?” he asks. you look at oliver through your sunglasses. “of course i do,” you say, almost scoffing. who wouldn’t like living in a mansion even if it were for a couple of months. “how long have you and felix been together ?” oliver asks. “since sophomore year in high school, well on and off but you know” you respond, liking the flow of the conversation.
felix had mentioned to oliver that you and him and been on and off because of…well felix’s cheating, not that he explicitly told you. but felix couldn’t seem to let you go, after every break, he’d manage to crawl back into your bed, saying that he was forever “your guy” and that all the rumors of him with other girls aren’t true.
“well there’s a reason why he keeps coming back to you,” oliver sighs. you snap your head towards him, “and why is that ?” you say. “you’re fucking beautiful, who wouldn’t want you back,” he says, words rolling off his tongue. you try not to be flustered, you really do. yet a smirk crawls onto your face. “felix would kill you~” you say in a singsong voice.
“you’re different from everyone else here,” oliver suddenly says. “am i ?” you ask, almost confused. “like you’re…you’re authentic,” he says and your breath hitches. “like you’re actually real in the flesh, why is that ?” oli continues. “my father wasn’t there and my mom barely made it through with her job,” you confess, and you realize it’s terrifying.
it’s terrifying that a man you barely knew, now had a glimpse of what your childhood was like. why did you tell him ? why did you tell him ? was it because oliver is kind, too kind for his own good ? you don’t know but suddenly your oversharing has made you uncomfortable.
“i um have to go, uh find felix, wanted to talk to him about something,” you clear your throat as you get up. “you know, he’s cheating on you, he constantly is,” oliver says as you start walking away. “i’m well aware,” you quietly say. and that’s when oliver realizes that you aren’t as stupid as he thought you initially were.
“be seeing you…ollie,” you say, walking towards the mansion that oliver one day would claim as his. a smile falls on his face, one that he had been holding in for a while. maybe you weren’t so useless after all, maybe one day he could fit into felix’s shoes. maybe you just gave him a reason to keep you along for the ride.
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satrs · 11 months
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Can’t feel my face - bllk x fem!Reader N°9
Oli is so babygirl urghhh
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THE NEXT MORNING,
you woke up to the ring of your alarm, groaning while stretching yourself to get ready for the day.
As you were done with your usual morning routine, you noticed the smell of food coming from the kitchen, drawing you right to it.
And there stood Oliver, with your Girish pink apron wrapped around his hips, preparing food for the morning.
Your giggle at his appearance made him look over to you, leaning against the door while watching him with a sly smirk.
He returned it, putting the last preparations onto the plate, motioning you to sit at the dinning table.
„Here. Thought you would like it.“ you looked at the plate with a skeptic look, earning an offended look from the raven haired.
„C‘mon, I’m a great cook! Just try!“ you carefully lifted the food up into your mouth, chewing down on it.
Oliver looked at you with excitement, waiting for your reaction. You hummed, delighted at the taste, signaling him that it tasted good. “Damn, it’s bomb.”
“Told you.” he chuckled, making his way back into the kitchen to clean up.
“Oli‘?” his neck turned towards you at the mention of his name, „you didn’t have to. Really. You can stay as long as needed, you’re no burden for me in any way.“
He returned a wholehearted smile, „It’s the least I could do. I’m so thankful for your kindness, Y/N.“
You flashed him a loving smile back yourself, before eating up and making your way to work.
Oliver was quick to take your finished plate from you, saying his goodbye to you.
He decided to clean up the kitchen and then look for other things he could assist you with while you were already out for work, he just felt obligated to do so.
The living room was already tidy. He has also done the kitchen just now. Bathroom? Also done. The only room left would be- your bedroom.
He entered your bedroom, heart pounding in his heart as if he would face a frightening sight, clearly exaggerating.
He came to view with a fairly clean room, only noticing a full laundry basket at the corner of your lonely room.
He decided to do you a favor and clean your dirty clothes, even when the panties he saw made him act like a virgin boy, he still managed to tear his gaze off of them and throw them into the washing machine.
【☆】★【☆】
Meanwhile, you, some hours later were just getting off from your shift, deciding to take a quick break in a nearby café.
You took a seat near the window, muscles visibly relaxing as you sat down, a small sigh escaping your mouth as your tensed face relaxed.
You ordered a small drink to calm yourself and get ready with whatever you would have to face when you come home. As you sat around, glazing around the café.
Once you enjoyed your drink, you were about to get out cash to pay for your order, but you noticed a fancy looking business card.
"You still got my card, right? Call me up whenever."
Right, Reo gave you that card. His number was on the back of it. Should you give him a call? Maybe the job offer wasn't that bad if you think about it twice. You would probably earn much more than with whatever you're working for right now.
You would have to give it your all, doing those small 'operations' was no joke after all.
Reo's previous words linger and overflow your mind, growing more positive to the idea of accepting the job.
It is a bit late, but he said call up whenever, right?
You dialed the number in your phone, hesitating before pushing the call button. After only a few rings, someone picked up at the other line.
"Hello?", it was Reo's voice, clearly, exhaustion of the day lingering in his voice.
He sounds so hot. What the hell.
"Helloooo?" His dragged out answer made you snap out of it, stumbling over your answer.
"H-hey, it's me. Uhm, Y/N?", you questioned your own response as if you didn't know your name yourself.
A surprised but satisfied hum rang from the other line at the sound of your name. "Oh, Y/N! Hope you're doing well. What's up?"
Reo questioned from the other side of the phone, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, trying to hide that fact how excited he is to hear your voice.
Yes, it was only one day ago when he last saw you but, he wasn't very pleased with the outcome of your conversation. He wanted to talk to you more, maybe even invite you home to his expensive mansion.
He figured now would be the perfect chance. After he knew why you called, of course. One step at a time, Reo.
"So I kind of thought about your offer and," you thought about it? You want to do it? You need to meet up, like, now. Discuss the details and shit. Pure business, nothing else. Alright, maybe something else. Fuck, he was about to jump up out of pure joy.
"And I'm thinking about accepting it."
Holy shit, yes.
He let out a low cough to cover up his excitement, eyes flickering around the room nervously, careful to what to respond. "What's stopping you? The money? I told you, you wouldn't have to worry about that."
"Well, I kinda do, I got a job after all." You got a job? Of course, you do, you're a grown woman. A beautiful at that, no, gorgeous even you were-
"You still there?", he quickly averted his attention back to your voice. "Yes. Yes! Uhm, I think we should discuss something so important like this in person. Are you free right now? I know it's kinda late, but it won't take long. Not if you want it to."
Your chuckle ringed in Reo's ear, "Fine. Is this a job interview, then?" It was his turn to let out a low laugh, amused by your answer.
"Yes, you could say that."
【☆】★【☆】
You stood before a mansion as you would imagine it in a movie. It was truly breathtaking.
After you hung up on the call and stated Reo your current location, a fancy looking car came to pick you up, driving around parts of the city you never even knew existed.
As you saw big and fancy houses in the distance, you felt poorer the more you came near them, the big buildings overwhelming you completely.
You knew Reo had a lot of money, but wow, this was far behind your imagination. You stood in front of the gates of his home, the Name Mikage written on the Gates in big bold letters.
As the gates opened, the owner stood before you in the flesh, a cocky smile on his face as he noticed your expression.
"Nice, huh?", your eyes flickered between his and the mansion he stood before,"Nice? This is- crazy."
He laughed at your answer, motioning you to follow him into his home. Inside, you were met with an even more shocking view: Floor length windows, ridiculously expensive furniture, and the huge pool you could see through the windows adding the cherry on top.
【☆】★【☆】
Meanwhile, Oliver was getting a bit worried. He didn't know why you would take so long to get home and also, he didn't even have your number to call you. What a pain in the ass.
"Shit."
Maybe you went out? But during a weekday, to this hour? Anyway, he couldn't do anything but wait and hope you're doing alright.
【☆】★【☆】
"So, how much do you want?", you looked at the purple haired man dumbfounded, confused by his question. "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean, pretty. Say how much you want for the job, you'll get it. Anything." Anything?
Your mind was floating with ideas, one million? No, no, that's too much- but it wouldn't hurt him, right? You should think about this really well. What is something that-
"But if I were to lose, I would have to stop boxing. Forever. Well, you can tell what happened from then."
This is it. "I want you to let Oliver in the ring again." You felt obligated to do so. You pitied him, figuring this would help him in his current situation. A little help to step back into life again.
Who? Oh- that old hag. But what do you have to do with him? You fuck buddy? Fucking hell.
Reo's mood was quick to change, tone of his voice turning more bitter. "What?"
"You heard me. And a good wage too, of course." you leaned back in your seat, taking a sip of the drink he poured you. You had realized that Reo was growing bitter, clearly not in the mood to talk about him when he has you right here to accompany him.
He looked at you in disbelieve, letting out a heavy sigh at your determination. "Under one circumstance."
Your ears peaked up at the sound of his voice, attention now firmly on him, wanting him to continue.
"You'll have to work every time blue lock is open." That was manageable. Yes, it was working late but, you could finally quit your low budget job and get some good cash, maybe even rent a bigger apartment. Oh, and all the dresses you could buy. What about shoes? Bags? You couldn't stop drooling at the thought.
"And, I'll take you out on a date. When I want too." Huh? He's acting like this would be a punishment for you, why? Going on a date with a rich ass man is not ordinary, so why not?
You were quick to agree, causing Reo to swiftly jump in excitement. His action made you giggle, and you soon noticed that it was late. Really late.
You told him that you should go, and he offered to drive you home, to which you agreed.
You were left dumbfounded again, as he escorted you to his garage, various expensive cars parked there. You were really close to asking him if he could maybe give you one of them.
"Please." He held open the passenger seat for you, hand extended to assist you in getting into the seat. As you got comfortable in the seat, he placed a soft kiss on your hand, eyes borring right through your soul, leaving you flustered.
"I let your place get build, you know." Reo broke through the silent but comfortable ride, one hand on the wheel as he tapped it with his index finger.
"What really?" You were surprised, because when you told him where to drop you off, he told you this. This man really owns everything in town, huh?
"Mhm. Thought it would be necessary, since there's a shortage of apartments around here. Everyone should be able to have a place they could call home."
So he was not only rich, charming, but also caring of others? You were surprised, since it's not usual for the higher people of society to care for the lower or middle class.
"That's really nice of you, Mr. Mikage." He chuckled at your words, quick to correct you. "Please, stop with the formalities. It's simply Reo for you, princess."
You were not yourself at the moment because why the hell were you getting so flustered over a simple nickname? You were called many by various men, but it sounded so different coming off of Reo's tongue. Why was that?
You turned your head to the window to hide your flustered state, causing the man to quickly glance at you, face twitching up into a charming smirk.
Your apartment complex soon came to view, his car sloppily parking in front of it. You were about to step out as his hand stopped your antics, making you glance back at him in question.
His eyes were filled with pure devotion and honesty. "Thank you, Y/N. I could talk to you for hours."
Your eyes widened in surprise at the compliment, causing you to return him a loving smile. You leaned forward towards him, and before he could question your action, you placed a quick kiss on his cheek, leaving him dumbfounded.
"I'm the one who needs to thank you, really. Good night Reo."
As he watched your figure disappear into the night, he touched his cheek where once your lips were for a brief second, recalling the moment in his head like a love struck teenager.
How could a simple kiss on the cheek leave him in such condition? Who really are you? He would have to find that out the next time the both of you meet.
He will make sure to make this date the best one of your life, and Reo will win you over. He had too. Because at this point, he was already yours without you even knowing.
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ᵃˡˡ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿᵗ ᵇᵉˡᵒⁿᵍˢ ᵗᵒ k-azus.°
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hanasnx · 7 months
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Kinktober: House of Amateurs - S1E3
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MINORS DNI 18+
SUMMARY: october 3rd | tuesday polys: threesome WC: 0.9k | CHARACTERS: anakin skywalker x f!reader, sanna olies (oc) WARNINGS: f!reader | dom!anakin | pnp | onanism | kinks: daddy, size | attempted: voyeurism | implied: fellatio | shower | polyamory: threesome | three-way kiss | no y/n
KRAYT HOUSE M.LIST | NAVI | INBOX | @KRAYTHOUSE
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“We should try to peek on him.” Your co-star— Sanna’s words make your jaw drop. Rushing to her own defense, she interjects you as if you’re about to verbally contradict her. “It’s not like he’d mind!”
“I can’t believe you’d say that!” you scold, but her suggestion eats away at your guard. He might not mind, but he’s unpredictable. Regardless if it’s her idea, you’d be an accomplice.
“Well, maybe I’ll get lucky. I’m going.” she insists, and your mouth remains agape, taking offense in being abandoned. You’re quick to clamber up to follow after her.
“Wait for me!” You chase her, but she increases her pace. Grins of thrill appear on both of your faces, yet it’s unclear who’s mirroring the other.
The sound of the shower running coming into earshot quiets the both of you, hushing each other so as to not raise suspicion. You approach the door, and her hands fix on your shoulders as she leans onto your back. As carefully as you’re allowed, you inch open the door, and the weight increases behind you. Playfully, you shove her back so you can creep inside.
You reach the bathroom counter before his voice cuts you off. “What do you girls think you’re doing?” Frozen where you stand, you glance between the drawn shower curtain and Sanna.
“Nothing,” you reply innocently.
“We’re sorry, we didn’t know you were in here, daddy.” she finally speaks up.
“We thought it was one of the other girls.” you’re hasty to add, as if more story will cover up the shame you both feel for being caught embarrassingly fast. It’d be mortifying to confess that you were brought here on the basis of coercing him into fucking the two of you.
“Who?” One simple question. His tone conveys his lack of actual curiosity, and all the condescension of a man confident in his inference. You scramble for a name, any name. Your silence is answer enough, and you hear him scoff. “Well, since you’re here, come help me with this.” Exchanging a look among yourselves, you border the tub, not before discarding your clothes onto the bathroom floor. It’s a risk you’re willing to take if he didn’t mean to invite the two of you inside.
She goes in first, and you trail after. Hot water accumulated in a thin layer at the bottom greets the soles of your feet pleasantly. Standing herculean and picturesque under the faucet, Anakin’s features come into view. How the stream of water breaks at the back of his neck to flow down his relaxed form, how he guides Sanna into him to steal a greeting kiss from her obedient lips, how his tepid hair is curled from the humidity and the tips are heavy and dripping. Even if he’s content, you notice how his brows pinch together constantly, as if nothing truly pleases him, and he’s always dissatisfied over everything put in front of him. A judgmental countenance you fantasize about reversing. As he meets your gaze, you’re already magnetized to him, giving him a greeting kiss of your own as his strong arm wraps around your torso to express his approval for your initiative.
The warmth of another presence approaches, and he directs her into your side, jamming you together as she joins in the kiss. Three pairs of lips melding together tentatively as the heat of the water transfers between bodies during the close proximity. The two of you wrap your arms up around his neck loosely, overlapping one another. He introduces tongue, a soft graze enough to shift the energy, both his limbs wound around the two of you, arching you two into him. The outline of how he hardens apparent against your lower stomach. There’s a desperation to him, as plain as kissing is, Anakin Skywalker enjoys it as a three-way. He hums, deep in his throat, reverberating you. Tongues sliding against one another is enough to make him stoop to grab a handful of ass from both you and her. As if you read her mind, you both nip his lower lip at the same time, earning a growl.
He dips his head between you, brushing his open-mouthed kisses onto your shoulder, and then hers. “Are you gonna help me with this?” he murmurs, repeating his request from earlier. His hands on each of your asses rocking you both into him, seeking out friction through humping his length onto the squished space of your abdomens. As soon as your hand grasps his hard-on, you brush against hers, and you chuckle in spite of yourself. Holding hands over a man’s erection, how romantic. A sharp exhale of breath leaves him, and you support his weight as he relaxes into your touch. How you move in tandem with each other in order to undulate against the sensitive skin of his cock as him rolling his hips into it, fucking into the space you created together.
Your free hand winds around him, nails digging into the skin of his wide back, and a whine spills from his agape mouth, resting his forehead against her shoulder.
He straightens to his full height, and bites down on his lower lip as he continues to buck into the team-effort handjob, aiding you two in jacking himself off. From the force of his movements and his sheer strength, his hands on you rock your entire bodies along with him, and construct a necessity for counterbalance. It doesn’t take him much longer to force the two of you on your knees to work together to finish the job using only your mouths.
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buildheight · 23 days
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“Right,” Gem says, keeping her voice steady like a hand of cards to her chest. “What do you know, then?”
It’s not so much a question as it is a threat, and Pix answers in kind. “I think we’re both aware of what’s going on here.” 
It’s a bluff. Gem darts her eyes back at the group in the courtyard, then to Pix again, who gives her a bemused smirk. “Okay,” she says. “Just… don’t mess this up for me.”
“I certainly have no intention of the sort,” Pix says. A cloud passes over the sun, casting a long shadow.
==
This Scott smells very distinctly like llama. It’s not an unwelcome thing. Gem observes the way he talks sweetly to his herd and moves his hands through their coats. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen another Scott act like this. His clothes are garish and, by all standards, mismatched, and his hands are stained with an ever changing array of dyes. He very calmly and confidently attaches the saddle to the llama he’s working with, and it seems soothed by his presence.
“Sorry about that,” he says with a grin that reaches his eyes. “What colors were you looking for?”
==
The rift glows ominously, and pulses with a sick purple energy. Gem can’t keep her eyes off it.
“What’d’you reckon, then?” A voice pipes up from behind her. She bristles.
“No idea,” she says, smiling, then turning around. In that order.
“Bit weird, if you ask me,” Joel says. Gem can’t help but think of a bird puffing out its feathers to seem bigger.
“I don’t know anything about magic, really,” she lies. 
Joel gives her a blank look with those familiar glass eyes. To her credit, her smile doesn’t twitch. “Right then.” He shrugs. “Not much of a conversationalist.”
==
“I’m sure there’s nothing to be afraid of,” Gem says, running her fingers through her hair, watching the way the strands catch the moonlight.
False doesn’t turn to look at her, but her movements do slow. It’s enough of an answer.
“I’m not just saying it,” Gem insists, but something in the way False reaches up to her hair to mirror Gem’s movements makes her stomach flip.
“I think I need a haircut,” False says instead, voice no louder than a whisper. 
Gem moves to close the shutters, not looking at the moon. “That would be nice,” she whispers back.
==
Gem watches as Sausage orbits around Pearl. The Hermits, to their credit, have been very accommodating. They don’t ask too many questions. The dry heat of the Nether Roof is a good excuse for why her palms are sweating.
Pix, to her chagrin, seems bemused.
“Don’t say anything,” she says, hand resting on the hilt of her sword. Pix does a convincing approximation of a cough into his hand.
Gem watches as Sausage enters course for collision. It takes her every ounce of strength to turn away when he puts his hand on Pearl’s shoulder. She catches Joel’s eye instead.
==
“He’s a bit pants, isn’t he?” Jimmy whispers loudly. Oli was too loud in his crooning to notice the crowd ignoring him.
“Yeah,” she admits.
“I think it’s nice,” the Old Sheriff says. “He’s trying to recapture his glory years. Good reminder to us all that the past is left dead.” He spits a glob of something mysteriously dusty onto the floor.
“That’s nice?” Jimmy scoffs.
“You’ll get it one day, buddy,” Joel says, and pats Jimmy on the back.
“Darn tootin’,” the Old Sheriff agrees.
Gem feels the words stick in her throat. Someone throws a rock at Oli.
==
“I’m not sure I need something super new,” Katherine says, holding up two nearly identical pink dresses in the mirror. One is a bit shorter than the other, but they’re both lavishly embellished. It’s like playing dress-up. Spending time with Katherine is easy, if nothing else. She’s so very… Katherine. Watching her flutter around the room is a good comfortable feeling. “What do you think?”
“Left one?” Gem offers. “I like the matte fabric.”
“I’m going with this one. I like the shiny silk.”
“Good choice,” Gem says. “Go with what your heart says.”
Katherine laughs, and Gem laughs, too.
==
“Have you known?” Sausage says one night, sitting up on the roof of his tavern, watching the stars. “This whole time?”
Gem doesn’t answer right away. The cool night air feels so good on her face. There’s no need to say out loud what Sausage already knows.
“I just have one question,” he says next. It’s so quiet, so honest. Gem can hardly match the Sausage she knew with the one sitting next to her. “Why leave me there?”
It’s a question Gem has answered to herself a million times over in the mirror. Tonight she confesses. “I was scared.”
==
By the time Gem packs her bags, Pix and Joel have already gone.
“It’s just time,” she says to herself. She’s not sure who she’s justifying herself to. Sausage seems perfectly content to let her go. There’s nothing keeping her here. 
The flight to the Rift is shorter than she anticipated. The sun setting over the Great Bridge casts a long shadow over the land, and she watches as lights flicker on in homes dotted across the valley. The corpse of Grumbot is the only thing left to wave her goodbye.
Perhaps, she thinks, people don’t need the past anymore.
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Ship in a Bottle Pt.1
(We doing something different this time! A borrower au with Private Scosage because I like cute smol things, plus this is a birthday gift for my online older brother, Auto!)
(Warnings: Fearplay Possessive behavior)
It had been a normal night for Scott. He had made the two day trip to the town of the Faction Isles to gather some essential resources for a borrower such as himself, something that the Herons had sorely lacked. Don’t get him wrong, his fellow herons, as he affectionately calls them, are great. They have plenty of food and fresh water that he’ll never go hungry or thirsty. But snagging a spare fish hood or thread was impossible when they only bought what they needed, rarely having extra.
Scott had just finished raiding Missy’s storage for some string, tying it to the new hook he had borrowed from Hook’s supplies the previous night. Deciding to test the new hook, Scott threw the hook onto a crate, the hook catching on the wooden ledge. Tugging the rope a little bit to test if it was anchored down, began climbing up the rope. Scott was pleased to find the string was thick and strong like he had hope, easily supporting his weight. Once Scott reached the top of the crate, Scott admired the view.
The crate he stood upon was on the side of the tavern. From here, Scott could see the whole town square and the pier beyond in the early evening. The sight took his breath away, his tail flicking in wonder. Idly he thought if humans saw this every night. Scott was knocked out of his head by the sound of glass shattered inside the tavern and loud drunken laughter.
Oh right. He still had to be careful.
The downside of living on the Isle is that pirates don’t have proper sleep schedules, making it difficult to borrow at any time. But luckily for Scott he was born and raised on this island so he quite used to it.
What he wasn’t quite used to was drunk sailors stumbling around.
Scott made a surprised squeak as two Kestrels exited the tavern singing drunken sea shanties, one of them knocking into the crate he was standing on. Scott stumbled as the crate started to tip, making Scott go with it.
Scott didn’t have time to scream as he fell and hit the stone ground, just barely missed being crushed by the fallen crate. Wincing, Scott stood up, checking himself over. He was relieved to find a few bruises but nothing serious. Scott scooped up his satchel and secured it safely to his body before momentarily relaxing.
“I think I might have drank too much Sausage because I’m seeing a little humanoid rat.”
Scott froze at the human voice, glazing up, only to lock eyes with two very drunk humans staring down at him. Scott felt as though his legs had turned to stone. His instincts screamed at him to move! But he remained firmly planted.
“How dare you call that fine little fellow a rat Oli! He’s too cute to be a mere rat.” The other human, Sausage, replied. “He’s cute enough to be a gem!”
Scott snapped out of his frozen state by the comment, a blush crawling up his face and turning his ear tips red. Shaking his head, Scott booked it into the grass, pointedly ignoring the drunken shouting. Once far away enough and knowing the human had stopped following, Scott leaned against the wall of stone, catching his breath.
That had been way too close for comfort, Scott thought.
Luckily they were probably drunk enough to forget about him, he decided. Scott sighed and began the long journey back toward Heron base. As he walked he couldn’t help but think about how handsome the human, Sausage had been. —————————————————————————————————
The next time Scott had an encounter with Sausage, it was at the Kestrel’s base.
While Scott preferred to avoid the Kestrel’s base like the plague due to how meticulously they handled their treasures, it had to be done. Scott was a simple borrower but after finding out that is long lost brother, Acho, had returned and was residing at the Nightingales, Scott knew he had to give him something special.
Currently Scott was in the kitchen of the faction base, browsing the selection of fine imported foods that seemed to be littered around carelessly around the counters. He glanced over at the odd orange and pink fuzzy fruit that smell sweeter then anything Scott had a pleasure of eating but decided that it was definitely way too big. Moving on, he examined a bunch of small red berries with green leaf tops with seeds outside of them. He sniffed them as was pleased to find they were also sweet, his tail swaying as he picked one up but then paused as he was about to put it in his satchel.
It was well passed midnight, so it surprised Scott as the glow of a touch appeared on the wall. He quickly dropped the unusual berry and quickly hid in an overturned wooden mug. The mug shook slightly as human footsteps approached his hiding place. Scott held his breath as he coward, silently pleading to the universe that he wouldn’t be found.
Unfortunately for Scott, his pleads when unanswered as the mug was grabbed. Scott tumbled out onto the counter in plain view of the human. The human made a horrible screech that had Scott’s ears ringing before he was rudely hit over the head with the wooden mug. The last thought Scott had before everything went black was ‘Shit.”
——————————————————————————————————
When Sausage when to get a midnight drink, he had not expected a little mouse man to fall out of his mug. Out of instinct more than fear, he had smacked the poor guy over the head with said mug. Which leads to his current problem; a motionless body of a little mouse man.
Biting his lip, Sausage carefully picked up the little guy, who hung limply in his hands. Sausage pales and hoped to ever god he believed in that he had not just killed this innocent soul. Pressing his ear to the mouse-like persons chest, he released a small relieved breath as he heard a little heartbeat. Sausage also ran a finger through the guys ginger hair, checking the guys head. Relaxing fully when he realized he just gave him a little bump, nothing too bad.
Now reassured that the little guy would live, Sausage examined his find in the touch light. The small humanoid creature had two small ginger mouse like ears with a long furry ginger tail to match. Ginger hair fell into his cute human-like face, with the exception of small whiskers on his cheeks. On his torso, a little blue jacket with gold thread’s for the cuffs and a white shirt underneath it. His hands, more human than not, with the slightest hint of claws and was more furrier. His legs once again reminded Sausage that this wasn’t just a tiny human, as they appeared to be animal like. Small paws were visible at the ends of the mouse-rabbit like legs. Ginger fur covered them coarsely as Sausage petted one of the appendage, causing it to twitch but the creature remained knocked out.
Sausage blinked a little bit as he realized how long he had just been sitting there staring at the little guy. The small man was quite pretty, prettier than most humans he had met. He would make a wonderful treasure, Sausage thought.
Cradling him to his chest, Sausage decided to abandon the idea of getting a drink as he carried his new treasure back to his room. As he walked through the halls back to his room, Sausage thought of decorating his new pet in gold. Just imagining it made Sausage grin like a mad man. Humming a tune, Sausage quickly when into his room and then paused, realizing that he didn’t have a good place to keep his new treasure.
Grimacing, he scanned his room for a good container he could keep his pet in. Sausage started to frown as he scanned through most his room until his eyes fell on a miniature glass jar with a cork top that he used to have fireflies in. His eyes lilt with excitement as he walked over to it, setting his treasure carefully on the sheets of his bed as he passed, taking care not to disturbing him from his slumber.
Sausage grabbed the tiny jar and brought it over to his desk. Lighting the candle next to him, he began to work on the perfect display for his new mouse friend. Pulling off the cork top, he cut a few small holes into the cork to allow oxygen into the jar. Next, Sausage found a metal ring and embedded it into the cork with hot wax. Once cooled, he grabbed a golden chain and threaded it through the partially open ring. Grinning, Sausage held up the new necklace he had just crafted.
Moving on, Sausage grabbed a few soft fabrics from his collection and placed them in the bottom of the jar. He also threw in a few cotton balls he had laying around. Deeming the enclosure done, Sausage focused his attention on a certain little fellow.
Giddy with glee, Sausage got up and went over his jewelry box. He sorted through and gather golden rings and small golden bracelets. His hand hovered over a silver band with a blue gemstone. Deciding to grab it, Sausage then stroll over to his bed. Placing the jewelry next to the sleeping form, Sausage compared each golden band and chain before deciding on simple gold bracelet that drapes nicely over his companion’s body and a gold earring that sat loosely around his neck. Something in Sausage purred as he looked at his new friend with the gold on him. The silver ring rested on snugly on the mouse man’s brow, making him look like a little prince. Sausage giggles at the thought and picked up the boy, placing him in his new home.
Fatigue suddenly hit Sausage as he realized just how late it was. Yawning, Sausage placed the cork back onto the jar and blew out the candle before crawling into bed. Rolling over, Sausage stared at his new treasure’s sleeping form with something borderline possessiveness. The mouse man had moved slightly and had curled up into a ball in the fabric. Grinning once more, Sausage sighed and closed his eyes, falling asleep.
The next morning when Sausage got up, he got dressed and was about to leave when the small jar caught his eyes. Smirking, he carefully lifted the necklace over his head. Smiling down, Sausage headed out proudly with his catch.
——————————————————————————————————
Scott groaned a little bit as he began to wake up. His head was pounding as he forced his eyes open. His vision was fuzzy for a moment before he blinked again. His eyes widen as he was met with an ocean view. It was only then Scott realized he was swaying slightly.
Sitting up quickly, Scott pressed against the back wall. Sleep melting from his mind as he quickly realized that he was in a jar. Looking up, he practically froze when he spotted the human from last night. His heart was in his throat as he leapt away from the body, only to hit the other side of the jar.
In his panic, Scott realized he had been decorated with human trinkets. Scott took the ring off of his head and threw it away from himself. The ring clinked against the glass as it bounced off and landed on the fabric. He gripped the odd golden collar but couldn’t manage to get it off.
“Hm? Oh! You’re awake! I was beginning to worry!”
Scott squeaked in surprise as his prison was hoisted up to eye level with the human. His blood rushed in his ears as he pressed away as far back as he could get from the human. Against his control, his body started shaking. Wide terrified blue eyes met giant brown ones.
“Hey, hey. It’s gonna be okay.” The human attempted to soothe. “I’m not gonna hurt you little fella. At least I think you’re a fella, are a fella?”
Scott stayed frozen as he shook, not wanting to let him know he was sentient but nods slightly.
The human grinned, “Nice you met you little fella! I’m Captain Sausage! What’s your name?”
His loud voice boomed his is sensitive ears, making him pin his ears down as he quivered.
“S-Scott….” He whispered, curling in on himself.
“That’s a cute name for a cutie such as yourself!” Sausage sang. “I’m curious what you are actually but that can be a later topic. Are you hunger by chance?”
Scott, despite being scare, blushed at the words. He shook his head as he wasn’t hungry and still had plenty of crumbs to eat from the herons in his satchel.
“Aw, okay. Well I hope you enjoy your carrier as you’ll be with me most of the time, my little treasure! Just let me know if you want to change it or make it comfortable! Ooh! I can’t wait to show you to my friends! They’ll be so jealous!”
Sausage’s rambling faded into the background as Scott paled and panic over took his senses. He was gonna be a pet. Just another treasure to be treated as an object. Plus he was gonna reveal his whole species and his baby brother. Tears gathering in his eyes as he hugged his knees to his chest, tail curling up on his feet.
A tiny sob broke Sausage out of his rambling, glancing to the jar, he see his sweet little gemstone curled in to a ball, shoulder trembling with sobs.
“Oh no, It’s okay! I promise. I bet I’m scary but I promise you that I’ll treat you right.” Sausage comforted. “You just need time to adjust. You’ll see, within a few weeks, you’ll see that this is the best for you.”
Sausage lowered the necklace back to his chest and rubs the outer glass lovely before he goes back to sailing. Scott hiccups in fright at the words and begs for his brother to find him.
(Part 2 coming soon, hopefully. :3)
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saenora · 1 year
Text
oliver aiku is a plethoras of one bad decision after another. that next drink you know you should avoid, but it feels so good to numb those feelings for once in a while. he is the acid burn, sour in your throat but so addictive you wanna take another one. He is your escape, your flip switch when things start falling apart. You dont love him, but need him in your veins, intoxicating you. Its shallow and pathetic, how badly you want him to run into his embrace, let his hands run wild on you body, thread pieces of you with his wrecked touches scathing the lines of your sanity.
“oli..I-I nee-need yuh..” You breathe tugging his hair restlessly slamming your hips roughly onto his face weeping for his tongue and heaving laps. you’re embarrassing yourself but he does it so well. he lets you use him. you’ve done this multiple times and you crawl back each time with more guilt but he lets it slip away everytime. Because when you are on top of him, arching your back so skittishly, the devil peaking through those untainted eyes and your walls clenching, sucking him in, he loses it. “aiku tell me if i’m doing well” that sweet honey like voice, this good girl facde you put for him, it catches him offguard in these games you tool around with him. “you fuck me so well doll, fuck i need you so bad”
“Aik-Aiku.. do i?”
“Ye-yes doll”
To have you crying and moaning his name, for tonite, is all he’s ever wanted,, and you answer his prayers like a damned goddess.
He gives you those eyes. those eyes that makes you feel in power. For the love of god you’re in control…the leash youve got over him, like he is only made to satisfy you and only you. he kneels to your insecurities and kisses your doubts. You deny of him affection but derange him with your fleeting kisses. bruises across his chest, mmark him down for his thronehe’s not him. He can never be him. he is aware, never prays but waits for your doom, so you can redeem yourself in his burning heat and starved touches.
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midnightmay03 · 2 years
Text
"Sausage! My sweet prince!"
Sausage was busy in the lumber mill when a strange little man in a floral shirt came running up to him. He was tired; he had a long list of orders he needed to get out, and he had just dropped of Hermes at Joel's place. All he really wanted to do was collapse into bed, although with his nightmares at the moment, he doubted he would be getting any sleep.
"Uh, hello? Welcome to Sanctuary. "
Sausage blinked, and suddenly the blonde was on top of him; smothering him in a hug. Now, Sausage was no stranger to hugs, he loved them in fact. He always made sure to greet everybody he knew with hugs, and he was prone to tackle Gem whenever he saw the princess. But this was getting weird. He had no idea who this man was, but he was greeting Sausage as if they were best friends. He was holding onto him tightly, and Sausage felt himself becoming claustrophobic in such close proximity to a stranger. He gently patted the man on the shoulder, before he extracted himself from his embrace.
"I cannot believe it!" The man exclaimed, smiling at Sausage. "Last I saw you, you were asleep up in heaven! Pearl wouldn't let me disturb you, how rude. That was awfully lazy of you, by the way. It had been months after I sent you off to the sky, quite the beautiful send off I might add. Were you asleep the whole time?"
Sausage blinked, not even trying to hold back his confusion. Heaven? He wishes he was asleep right now. And who the hell was Pearl?
"You wouldn't believe the time I've been having. Landing in on my own private server, narrowly escaping death several times. I even tried speed running!" The man was pacing now, dramatically throwing his hands up in the air every now and then, and using them to emphasize his words. "Oh, and I even beat the ender dragon! I've got the egg right here!"
The man looked at Sausage proudly as he held out the egg for him to see. "Wait," Sausage began, "that was you?"
"Of course! Don't be such a silly goose. Damn, I have so much to tell you. I thought I would never see you again! Gem doesn't even remember me, and there's new structures all over my server that I definitely didn't build. Oh, and there was this dog-"
"Look, I'm sorry," Sausage interrupted before the man could carry on, "but who are you? You seem to know me, but I don't even know your name."
A dejected look befalls the man's face, and Sausage almost regrets speaking. The man sighed.
"Goddammit. Not you too. Oh well. At least you're not asking me to be your bard."
Sausage could use a bard in his empire, but he refrained from mentioning that. Instead, despite his exhaustion, and the ever-growing list of work he had to do, he looked down at the man and smiled.
"Why don't we go and grab a bite to eat, and we can talk some more, figure out was is going on. My friend Eddie makes the best tacos in the whole of Sanctuary!"
The man's face immediately lit up again, and he jumped as he replied to Sausage. "Oh thank Pearl. I’m starving. At least food is still your answer to everything."
Sausage shook his head, but didn't bother fighting the smile that was making its way onto his face. He started walking, directing the man the Eddie's blacksmith. The man, despite his strange words, seemed relatively harmless. And who was Sausage to turn someone away from Sanctuary? “Oh, and you still haven’t told me your name.”
“It’s Oli!”
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slafkovskys · 3 months
Note
carters first steps ? when do they happen
〽️
absolutely in the gophers locker room when ryan has him while mom is taking her afternoon class. some baby toys have just found their home in one of the corners and the second that oliver gets there, he’s launching his bag into his stall and going for one of the towers.
“carter,” he coos, taking a seat not far from where ryan was stretched out on the floor, carter using his body to stand up, “come here, dude. let’s see if we can figure this out today.”
carter giggles, bouncing up and down a little before squeezing onto ryan’s hoodie. his father clicks off his phone and looks at him with a raised eyebrow, “you can go if you want, buddy. you need some help?”
“oh, please,” cal chimes, currently next up on the pool for when carter would start walking, “i believe in you, cart.”
“don’t stare at him, he gets nervous,” ryan reprimands his teammates who had focused their attention on them. he sits up and lets carter grab onto his fingers, “somebody record this just in case. one foot in front of the other, carter. just like mom and dad tell you-”
“and uncle oli!” the freshman chimes and ryan glares at him. oliver sits the colorful tower in front of him and taps the top, “c’mon. i can’t do this one by myself.”
carter looks determined as he takes a tentative step forward. ryan holds his breath, leaning forward with his son as he goes for another. after a third step, he pulls his fingers away from carter’s grasp but keep his hands close as in case he falls. the baby almost closes the gap between him and oliver before his legs give out, but he can’t even hit the carpeted floor of the locker room before he’s being picked up and spun around.
“i’m so proud of you, dude! you just took your first steps!” ryan cheers, eyes wide as his teammates surround the two. his son looks confused at all of the boys surrounding them and he chuckles, “you’re freaking him out. be quieter”
“you just made uncle cal a lot richer,” the man reaches over and pokes at carter’s belly which causes the boy to giggle. ryan glares and cal clears his throat, “don’t worry. i’ll definitely use the money to buy him some sick shoes since we’ve got a walker on our hands now.”
“soon it’ll be time for skates,” jimmy calls from somewhere in the room and ryan shakes his head,
“that’s still far away though. really far away.”
send in things for combo weekend ✨
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louisupdates · 10 months
Text
FITFWT23: LOS ANGELES VIDEOS
Tank top + shorts [x]
THE GREATEST [entrance] [HQ] [HQ] [HQ] [HQ]
KILL MY MIND [x]
BIGGER THAN ME [so come on, call me liar— liar!] [x] [x]
LUCKY AGAIN [x] [HQ]
Look at the fucking venue we’re in! [HQ] [x] [x]
HOLDING ONTO HEARTACHE [x] [x] [x] [HQ]
FACE THE MUSIC [HQ] [x]
WE MADE IT [x] [x]
NIGHT CHANGES [x] [x]
CHICAGO [x] [guitar solo] [HQ] [HQ]
COMMON PEOPLE [x] [lights] [x] [x]
HIGH IN CALIFORNIA [HQ] [HQ] [x] [x]
WRITTEN ALL OVER YOUR FACE [x] [x]
ALL THIS TIME [x] [x]
SHE IS BEAUTY WE ARE WORLD CLASS [x] [x] [rainbow] [x] [fan project]
COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY [x] [x] [HQ]
WALLS [x] [x]
Taking his jacket off [x]
505 [HQ] [HQ] [whole song] [HQ] [HQ] [HQ]
BACK TO YOU [HQ] [HQ] [extremely close] [HQ] [HQ]
ANGELS FLY [x] [HQ]
OUT OF MY SYSTEM [HQ] [x] [x]
SATURDAYS [HQ] [HQ] [x] [lights]
WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO [HQ] [x] [x] [Baba O’Riley] [HQ] [HQ]
SILVER TONGUES [x] [I’m knackered] [HQ barricade] [barricade] [barricade] [barricade]
Hopping back on stage with a rear view [x]
Checking the mic pack [x]
Talking to Freddie [x] [x]
It’s a big show, been looking forward to it [x]
This might be the only time I play Hollywood Bowl. [x]
Come at me bro [x] [HQ]
Pretends to take off his jacket [x]
Leaving the stage running [x]
Dan Ely [x]
Shimmy shimmy [x]
Oli greets a VIP in the backlot [x]
Photos: [x] [x] [HQ]
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thelesbiandeli · 9 months
Text
Ink Isn't Just For Maps
Ao3 link here 1,802 words TW for needles, blood, injury and alcoholism! Also Owen has some intrusive thoughts about rotting corpses which some may find gross or disturbing. Stay safe, peeps! Just to preface, this whole concept is about the four pirate factions being called bird names, then the faction members having the wings of their faction tattooed on their backs either when they join, or when they come of age if they were born into that faction!
Martyn hisses in pain at the cool sensation of the needle sliding into his back. He tightens his grip on Sausage’s hand, both of their knuckles turning white. Sausage’s comforting smile looks more like a grimace for a second, before he steadies himself and brushes a strand of golden hair out of Martyn’s face.
“You’re doing great, pájaro dorado, just a few more minutes and we’ll be done.”
Scar brushes his back with a cloth, causing Martyn to yelp in pain. He whispers an apology, before taking a step back to admire his handiwork.
“All done! We’ll need to bandage it for a couple hours, then it’ll be a few weeks until it’s healed up. Before then, you’re not allowed out on the ships. We don’t want to irritate it any more than necessary. Got it?”
Martyn nods sharply, trying as hard as he can to not move his shoulder blades. Scar slips his inks back into his bag, and slings it over his shoulder.
“Well, I’m going to be turning in for the night. Kyle, you know how to wrap these, I’ve left you some stuff. I’ll check up on it again tomorrow, okay?”
He waves goodbye, downs the last sip of his ale, and strolls out of the Kestrel’s tavern. The heavy wooden door slams shut behind him, making Martyn groan. Kyle slips into the seat behind Martyn that Scar was previously perched in, and starts to wrap lengths of bandage around his torso, making sure not to miss any of the newly inked skin. Sausage stretches, and hops up onto the bartop.
“We’re lucky that Scar knows how to do this stuff. We’d usually get Guqqie to do this, but-” He clears his throat, “We’re just lucky that Scar can do this. Real Jack-of-all-trades, he is.”
Oli laughs, and slings his previously discarded coat around his shoulders.
“How about one more drink to end the night? Unless you’re not up to it?”
He glances over at Martyn, who just slides his glass over the table to him.
“You’re on, ponytail.”
Owen registers the noise of his tent flap being pushed open, and the creak of the floorboards as someone walks in. He glances up from his book, and smiles at Scott.
“Hey Scott! Whatcha need?”
The ginger man smiles back, and winces slightly as he moves. He pulls his hand away from his side, both his hand and his shirt smeared with blood. Owen yells in surprise, and tosses his book aside.
“Scott! What happened!”
The brunet jumps up and rummages through his cabinet, extracting a medical kit. Scott limps over to Owen’s bed, and collapses onto it.
“I’m sure it looks worse than it is. I got into a bit of a scrap with some Kites on the way home, that’s all. Nothing I haven’t faced before.”
Owen frowns, but starts to inspect the wound. Scott’s fancy shirt is ripped open along his side, crimson staining the tattered edges. From this angle, he can’t see the wound properly, but it sure is bleeding a lot. He winces, and starts getting bandages out of his medical bag.
“Can you take your shirt off for me? I need to take a closer look.”
Scott gasps dramatically, and places a hand on his chest.
“Owen, you sly fox! Take me out to dinner first!”
Owen slaps him over the back of his head, and laughs.
“You know what I meant! Now, I can’t have the first son of the Denholm family bleeding out in my tent because he wouldn’t stop flirting with me.”
Scott sticks his tongue out, and pulls his shirt off over his head, hissing through his teeth as he moves his arms. Owen grabs his flask of water, pours some on a cloth, and starts to wipe away the blood. After a few minutes, there are drops of red-tinted water splattered across the bedsheets and the floor, but the wound is visible. A clean slice across his side, barely grazing his ribs. If it had hit a few centimetres closer to Scott’s torso, he may have suffered a hypovolemic shock and never even made it to the Heron’s base, left bleeding out in some dark section of the woods. His corpse might not be found for days, and when someone did stumble upon it, it would be rotting, ribs exposed by badgers and eyes glassy and col-
Owen shakes his head to get rid of the thought, and pulls out a small brown bottle of disinfectant. Dabbing his cloth into it, he runs it across the cut. Scott yelps, but nods for him to proceed. Through various hissed curses and some very creative insults that Owen will definitely be using when he finds out which Kite caused this injury, the wound is fully disinfected and bound with fresh bandages.
Scott flops face down onto the bed, and groans. The process had started in the late evening, but now his pocket watch reads that it’s nearly midnight. The rest of the Herons will have either gone to bed or drunk themselves into unconsciousness by now. So much for the fun night he had been rushing home for.
Owen hums in confusion, and Scott cranes his head around to look at him.
“What is it? Don’t tell me it’s gotten worse.”
“No, that's not it. I was just wondering about your tattoo.”
Scott chuckles, and rolls over onto his back. He’s so used to the culture of the faction isles that he almost forgot that the new recruits may not know of the strange tradition. It feels almost alien, the concept of a pirate without their faction’s wings spread gracefully across their back and arms.
“It’s just a tradition. It’s kind of stupid, but it stops anyone from defecting to another faction. Hypothetically, at least.”
He thinks back to when he spotted his brother at the factioning, dressed up in the clothes of a Nightingale. Even the idea of defecting seemed impossible until then. Owen either doesn’t notice or brushes off his sudden change of tone, and stretches out so he’s on the bed next to Scott.
“So those are Heron wings?” Scott nods, and Owen continues, “I presume that the other factions have their birds wings, then. When can I get mine?”
“Probably in a couple days. Cleo will do yours for you, she’s the best artist we’ve got. She did mine a couple months after she became a Heron.”
Owen tucks his hands behind his head, and glances over at Scott.
“But you’ve been a Heron your whole life, haven’t you? How come you only got them after they joined?”
“It’s a coming of age tradition for those of us born into it. We can technically join a different faction when we’re old enough to decide, but no one does. It’s looked down on.”
Owen wrinkles his nose and sticks his tongue out, making Scott giggle.
“When I became a pirate, I thought I could get away from all the rules. Turns out you lot have a lot more standards and traditions than I thought.”
“‘You lot’? You’re one of us now! And what, did you just presume we were all a bunch of lousy Kites or self-centred Kestrels?”
Scott grins, and reaches for a pillow to hug into his stomach. Owen chuckles, and waves his hands around meaninglessly in the air.
“Well, that’s what my tutors taught me! And now I can see that that’s not true, obviously.”
“Obviously. I’m clearly much more threatening than a Kite.”
“Are you sure about that? You did scream at the spider El put in front of you at dinner yesterday.”
Scott makes an offended noise, sits up, and pushes his pillow into Owen’s face. The two struggle for a second, before Scott flops back down, this time sprawling out over Owen’s chest.
“Fine, maybe I’m not the most savage pirate there is. But you’ll protect me?”
Owen grins, and runs his hands through Scott’s hair.
“Of course I will. What sort of friend would I be otherwise?”
The two lie in a comfortable silence, and by the end of the hour both are deep in the realms of sleep.
Acho lies on his back, staring up at the stars from the topmost branches of the Nightingales tree. They come up here to clear their mind sometimes, and tonight is one of those nights. One of the Kites had pushed him into the harbour, then one of the new Nightingales had spotted the design across his back while he was climbing out the sea, visible through his soaking shirt. And of course they had to question it.
And if someone questions him, he’s always going to start questioning themself. Why did he even leave the Herons in the first place? They had a perfect life, and the expectations put on him should have been a motivation, not a reason to abandon their family. His parents probably hate him, and Scott had given up trying to find him months ago. But that's no one's fault but theirs.
Even now, when they’ve found a comfortable life living among the Nightingales, free to do whatever they want, his legacy is still there, emblazoned on his back and spreading along his upper arms. The longest of the inked primaries graze his elbows, making it hard for them to wear anything with short sleeves. It’s a punishment in a way, how contrasted his own wings are to the rest of his factions, theirs barely reaching their shoulders.
They stare up at the moon, its perfect crescent shining above them. At least that’s one of the predictable things in this world. With a sigh, he swings their legs over the edge of the branch he’s laid on, and slides down into the crown of the tree, wincing slightly as he scrapes the backs of his legs on the bark. There should still be enough drink left at the bar as long as no one’s tried to drink themselves to sleep. That’s his job, thank you very much!
They chuckle slightly at the dark joke, and continue to clamber down the tree. He’s not exactly proud of the habit, but they're not going to be able to get to sleep without some help tonight. Hopping off one of the lowest branches they can be bothered to climb to, he falls the last two metres onto the soft grass and fallen blossoms. Dusting off their trousers, he picks up their blue naval coat from where it lies discarded at the roots of the tree, and slings it over his shoulder. With a slight slump in his shoulders, they begin the short walk back to the centre of the Nightingales base, looking to find a nice comfortable seat at the bar to pass out at for the next eight hours.
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sawyer-is-not-my-name · 9 months
Text
Oliver wood x FtM! Reader
request: dysphoria comfort ends with reader in Oliver’s hoodie. Either snuggled against Oliver’s Hoodie or flying on a broom with him
You were having a rough day to say the least, Snape had deadnamed you(albeit you knew it was an accident as he cut himself off then corrected what he said), and you got a pretty nasty mark on a test, and you were just feeling dysphoric since you woke up. You spent most of the day hunched over, not really speaking not trusting that you sounded masculine enough.
you were out of classes for the day and were planning on just spending the time under your your duvet, but oliver having realized your mood had a different idea.
Oliver approached you, carefully wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Hello love” you turned your head towards him before gently placing your head on him muttering a quiet ‘hi.’ “I was thinking before dinner we could head out and take a ride around the field, you up for it?” You thought about it for a moment before finally nodding, “As long as I don’t have to leave your side.” He smiled at you, a blush seeming to creep onto your face. “ You won’t have to leave my side pretty boy, or do anything but hold onto to me for that matter.” You hid your face in his chest, your cheeks felt as if they were on fire from the petname, it filled you with a sense of euphoria.
He started to walk towards to the quidditch pitch guiding you with him, before stoping. “what’re you doing?” You laughed out as he started pulling off the hoodie he was wearing. “Don’t want you getting cold” he said as he passed the hoodie to you, waiting for you to put it on before finally continuing to the pitch. A blush crept onto his face as he looked over at you, adoring the way his hoodie looked on the boy of dreams.
When you both got to the locker room he made quick work of grabbing his broom before grabbing your hand to walk you both out so you actually get to the flying part. He sat on the broom before motioning for you to get on. This wasn’t your first time flying with Oliver, you were quite used to it at this point. Usually whenever you both needed the other time was spent on his broom just forgetting about other problems and being together.
Your arms hugged his middle as you put your head on his shoulder. Your grip tightening just a little as he took off both of you enjoying the view and each other company. He wasn’t going fast so he’d be able to speak to you, then he finally broke the silence. “How are you feelin’ today love?” you had this conversation with him before, but that didn’t make it easier. “Ehh not the greatest” your mind wandered back to the problems you were thinking about earlier your chest seeming to stick out more than you wanted it to, causing you to pull your chest off of him. He had already picked up on the signs, knowing what was happening. “I’m sorry pretty boy, is there anything I can do to make it better?” Your cheeks flushed, as you thought for a moment before answering, “You already are making it better Oli.”
“I’m glad to hear that, handsome” the blush on your face deepening as you allowed yourself to relax back into him. By the time you both got off his broom, it was time for dinner, and you were actually feeling up to it. You were getting ready to pull his hoodie off when he stopped you. “Keep it a little longer, you look really cute in my clothes baby.” You hid your face in your hands, muttering a ‘shut up’ to the brunette boy in front of you. He laughed pulling you into his embrace, while kissing your head, “nope, you can’t make me.”
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