#I’ve had this idea for fucking years

[asteroidtroglodyte]

I’m tired. I’m tired of all these Youth Pastor Paladins. Folks who see the Lawful Good stereotype and just roll a… a… magical cop.

They don’t. They don’t understand. The Paladin is someone who devoted their entire life to an idea. To an abstract concept. To a Code.

They are God’s most Autistic creatures.

Of course, all this is because of DnD’s garbage alignment system, which has the depth of a soup spoon and pisses me off.

The MTG system is much, much more robust. The fact that the folks at Wizards never cross pollinated is a fucking travesty. But, given how Executive management has been shitting the bed across our society, I suppose that’s no surprise.

That does it. I’m doing it myself.

#mtg #Magic the gathering #dnd #dungeons and dragons #paladins #characterization #roleplaying #writing #I’ve had this idea for fucking years #let’s fucking go

[zootopiathingz]

A Promise in the Dead of Night

“I’m scared…”

Her voice is but a whisper, that Alastor barely registers her words at first. When he does, he feels himself tightening his arms around her, his mind already preparing to shield her from danger that he’s not made aware of.

Something’s been off about Charlie’s behavior and he hasn’t been able to determine the reason. From the moment she stepped in his room, he’s known she hasn’t been in her usual perky mood. It’s not unlike her to pay him a visit in the dead of night. Hell, it’s practically become routine for them. If he doesn’t end up falling asleep with her in her own bed, he can expect to find her hours later in his room, quietly requesting that she stay. And he never refuses. How could he possibly turn down such a request from the radiant, smiling princess of Hell?

But tonight, that gorgeous smile of hers that normally greets him when she enters a room was absent from her face. Her piercing eyes that could read all the secrets of his soul were puffy from tears she must have dried before coming to see him. She hasn’t uttered a word until now. She simply opened the door and walked over to join him on the sofa he sits on and crawled her way into his arms. He hasn’t questioned her, but he finds it odd that she had been so quiet. Not even a laugh, or even a breath. Has she been holding her breath the whole time?

Alastor brings his hand up to the back of her head that lays against his chest, raking his long claws through the soft strands of her golden hair. “Of what, dear?” He asks, his voice only slightly louder than hers.

She doesn’t answer. Not with words, at least. Instead she just further nuzzles her head against him, burying her face into the fabric of his coat like she’s trying to hide from something. Alastor swears he hears a faint whimper escape her—a sound that not only catches him off-guard, but fills him with rage. Several thoughts run through his mind like a herd of deer. What could have happened to her that would send her into such a fragile state? Who hurt her…?

Before jumping to conclusions, he decides to continue with his gentle approach. He shifts slightly, taking her chin between his fingers to lift her head away from his chest, her gaze instinctively meeting his. He’s met with the most heartbreaking look of vulnerability she’s ever displayed. He doesn’t like it one bit.

“What’s troubling you, my darling?” He questions her again, his thumb tenderly caressing the soft, milky skin of her face.

Charlie sniffles and briefly shifts her gaze downward as she struggles to answer in a way that makes sense. “I.. I don’t know.” She sighs shakily. She knows it’s a pathetic response, but she doesn’t know how to explain the hell-storm wreaking havoc in her mind.

Alastor stays quiet, only giving her a look that urges her to go on. And when she looks at him again, she does, however reluctantly.

“Oh Al.. I don’t know why, but I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and no matter what I do, it won’t leave me alone.” Charlie lets out a small hiccup of a breath, leaning her head forward slightly, longing to lay on his chest again. “I keep having these horrible dreams. They play out differently, but they all end the same way…something bad happens, or someone attacks us, and one way or another, you get taken away from me. I don’t know what happens to you after. I always wake up before I can find out, but I’m afraid that it means you were…”

She pauses, not wanting to actually finish the thought aloud. She knows she doesn’t need to, anyway. Alastor can easily fill in the blank.

His signature smile, sealed by his lips at the moment, tightens at the corners. Charlie doesn’t see it, but his blinking eyes go wide for just a moment. It may be just a coincidence, it had to be. But what are the odds that they were both struggling with bad dreams about losing the other to some unknown force of darkness? Alastor hasn’t let it affect him like Charlie clearly has, because to him it shouldn’t have meant anything.

But to know that his princess was facing the exact same troubling phenomenon…that was a cause for alarm.

He doesn’t tell her of this. No, he refuses to worry her any more than she already has been. It’s his job to ease her worries, not increase them. It’s a burden he’ll bear for them both. What’s one more, anyway?

He pulls her in close to him as she snuggles into his arms. “Oh Charlie, you must not fret over something like night terrors.” He assures in a calming tone, trailing his hand up and down the length of her back. “They’re just dreams, after all. They cannot hurt us.”

“That’s the thing. What if they’re not just dreams?” Charlie argues, her body growing slightly tense at this thought she only just now realizes she has. “What if..it’s a warning?”

Alastor doesn’t even want to entertain the idea. He doesn’t want to imagine that that’s the reason behind their shared unconscious terrors. No, he won’t give into the fear. It will only consume them, and then they will be doomed to face it.

“You shouldn’t think like that, dear.” He says, leaning his head down, resting his chin atop of her head. “It will do you no good. You mustn’t let your fear control you.”

Charlie closes her eyes, her voice reverting back to its pitiful hushed tone. “I can’t stop it.”

There’s a brief moment of stillness between them. Neither dares to move from the warmth of the other’s touch. The air grows quiet, with only the cackling flames of the fireplace providing any source of sound. That is, until Alastor slowly lifts his head and pulls her back to face her again. The look in his eyes takes her aback. His grin is as wide as always, but there’s a subtle glimmer of sadness in his gaze that she’s never quite seen before. She’s not sure if she should feel touched that he’s grown so comfortable to express such vulnerability in front of her, or horrified of the meaning behind it…

“Then tell me what I can do to make it go away.” He raises his finger up to brush her bangs away from her forehead, before resting his hand against the side of her face, cupping her face in his palm. “Whatever it is, it will be done. Just name it.”

Charlie frowns softly, staring at him quietly for the longest minute. She’s not sure there’s anything he can do to make this all disappear. Alastor may be a powerful overlord, wielding immense power that has left even her impressed. But sadly, he can’t just snap his fingers and rid her of her fears like he wishes. Miracles like that weren’t possible down here in Hell.

There’s one thing he can do, though. As simple as it may be, it’s what she needs him to do.

Charlie leans her face into his palm, bringing her own hand up to hold his wrist as she looks deep into his eyes. “Just..promise me that no matter what happens, if anything happens, that nothing will tear us apart from each other.” She says, her voice trembling more and more with each word. “Whether these are just stupid dreams or not, I cannot lose you, Alastor. So please.. promise me now.”

Alastor gives her an incredulous look, raising his brow a little, just before he leans in, inching his face closer to hers.

“Charlie..my princess,” He speaks firmly, his voice lacking any static or filter that it normally carries, “I swear on my damned life, I will never let anything take you away from me. Not Heaven. Not Hell. Nothing is ever going to keep us apart. Do you understand?”

She nods slowly, and as she blinks the tears she’s been fighting back threaten to burst like a broken dam. Alastor kisses her, the tender touch of his lips bringing her a warm sense of comfort. He then pulls her back into his reassuring embrace, and at last the woman crumbles down. She cries into his shoulder, clinging onto him like she may lose him for good if she even thinks of letting go. He doesn’t say anything, knowing he’s said all he can to bring her solace and all he can do now is simply be here with her.

But they both know his words held nothing but truth to them. Charlie’s been the one good thing to ever happen to him in a long, long time. And he would sooner die again than ever let something rip that away from his grasp. He will hold onto her and use everything in his power to fight for her, and he will do it all with a smile on his face.

It’s alright, my love. Is his immediate thought when he hears that dreadful sound of her sobbing. He hugs her as close as he possibly can, letting his eyes fall shut as his face presses onto the mess of hair on her head. The shadow that resembles his shape looms over the pair, hovering its claws protectively over the woman in Alastor’s arms.

Anyone who tries to take you from me will be faced with a fate worse than death…

#a short lil charlastor one shot bc fuck it why not #I’m not super proud of how it turned out and I honestly had no idea how to end it #but oh well #it’s mainly for practice #getting out of this stupid creative block I’ve been in for a year #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #one shot #charlastor #charlastor fanfic #radiobelle #charlie x alastor #charlie morningstar #alastor the radio demon #gives these two a hug #hurt/comfort #slight angst #bittersweet ending #my fanfiction #lady luxo writes

[cadaverousdecay]

i’m so overwhelmed by things that shouldn’t be overwhelming...

#among them‚ i’ve fallen behind on drscula dauly for the first time this year and it’s stressing me out cuz i really really wanted to keep up #this year that was the one goal i had for the year is keep up with it. last year i fell way behind when my brother died and it was so hard #catching up and the entry on the 30th was a little longer than they’ve been recently and i’ve been busy and also slipping back into depressi #on real bad and i’m just not in the mood for it and i feel like it’s just gonna snowball #and this is such a non issue. it’s a book. that i’ve read before. but still it’s just stressing me out. among other things #like library books that are overdue and i haven’t finished or journal entries i want to write or a letter i’ve been wanting so badly to writ #e and a short story idea that i wanted to write down but is escaping me and fucking. tumblr notifications #these are non issues!!! but it feels like there’s a timer for the world to end again all the same. #ugh #and i should be able to focus on one thing and get it done! these things shouldn’t be hard! they’re even meant to be enjoyable! but i can’t #get myself to do anything lately #and on top of all that i’m not able to fall asleep even with my sleep meds. #what even ever‚‚‚ #anyway sorry for the rant i’m basically fine

[novelconcepts]

The fucking choking noise I made when I tuned into a podcast for my run and heard a recent favorite actor go, “I’m still on Tumblr, don’t tell anyone.”

#me frantically looking at the date: #‘right this was 2021. what are the odds they still are? I mean. 14 years for MY gay ass. so. soooo.’ #'do you look at your own tags? at your character? at your ship? SURELY Not. but i would. so could i even blame you? welcome? sorry? help.' #I’m honestly so much less alarmed at the idea of favorite actors finding me NOW vs the truly horrendous idea #that they might have found me back in like 2011-2015 #like. I hate that person. the person who ran my blog back then suuuuucked #which is great cuz it means I’ve grown and matured and experienced life enough to improve #but also like. imagine your favorite actor knowing your tumblr blog from Before #and just loooooathing you #finding out you’re the one writing a ton of fic for their character now and being like ‘THAT one? really?’ #'i've had your URL blacklisted since the GLEE DAYS' fucking imagine #anyway. all of this is moot certainly. like there is just no way. it's all good. #but it did make me make the most unholy noise mid-run so thanks for THAT

[zorosdimples]

please talk more about your selfship with hidan, please please please

bisky!!!! i shall i shall 🫶🏻 fair warning that my self-ship with him is incredibly delusional and one of the few where i’m not a “normal person” but actually have an interesting backstory.

to make things brief: i’m one of orochimomu’s test tube babies—how did he get me? nobody knows! he makes a deal with the hidden leaf village and sells me to them; i go into the foundation at a criminally young age and become danzo’s pride and joy. fast forward to my mid-twenties: i’ve been struggling with depression and my role for years. mid-mission i go rogue and escape to a rural village—still in the land of fire, but far from the hidden leaf. i chop off my hair and dye it and try to live as a normal person.

then danzo approaches the akatsuki and offers them a significant sum of money to bring him my head still intact. they decide to weigh their options and seek me out—i may be a more valuable asset with them. anyway because i’m a ✨ good ninja ✨ (old habits die hard) i figure out i’m being tracked and i live like a hunted animal for a bit until i’m forced to fight the akatsuki member after me: hidan. his jutsu is insane and my senses are a bit rusty so he gravely injures me and takes me back to their hq.

i eventually recover and i’m faced with a choice: i can either get taken back to danzo and face certain torture and possible death, or stay with the akatsuki and seek vengeance while helping them with their ends. i of course decide to stay because i’m pissed, and yeah! that’s the gist of it. i’m paired with hidan and kakuzu because i have good healing abilities and because kakuzu sometimes has to do things alone as mr. money man. it all sort of… blossoms from there. hidan and i are two bloodthirsty freaks or something.

#i have like… a few thousand words written from this au #i wrote it a few years ago #it would be a long fucking fic if i ever had the balls to post it #anyway i steal some of my ideas from tenzo’s stay with Mother but fuck it we ball #cough anyway this is embarrassing i feel so lame. it started as an oc but it was just a self-insert so i’ve adopted it #i can be a badass if i want! #༄ kae’s mailbox #hidan <3

[forwardrussia]

I haven’t done anything finished properly this week.. having a bad art week…

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #2012 leo #april o’neil #2012 april #mutant mayhem #leonardo hamato #forwardrussia ocs #my art #yeaaaaaaaa ya ya ya I have so many ideas for tmnt art but I either don’t have motivation to do them or can’t execute them how I’d like #I’ve had the idea for the first one for ages and even now I couldn’t do it exactly how I wanted #whatever at least I got something done #not tagging luka because even though I was in the vocalsynth fandom for 8 years I’m terrified of them now (the wave of new fans from the #engsekai release are fucking terrifying) #anyway trust me 2012 is living in my head rent free I cry every time I think about Mikey I’m not kidding #imaya fiyaz

[rotzaprachim]

I’m at the why don’t I stay home all day and bake bread part of the academic year

#This year has just been so uniquely exhausting my fucking gd #I’ve had the kind of realization that the uphill slog of unfinished assignments really isn’t solely my fault #Like I’ve been struggling because these assignments weren’t things that #We ever did in class or I was ever taught to do #Or the teachers themselves have no idea what they wanted #And it’s just very tiring because it hasn’t been for lack of effort #Idk took my adhd meds and coffee and we’ll see what can be done

[bonewhiteglory]

I started volunteering in my friend’s kindergarten last month and like… I love these kids so much it’s unreal. They’re so sweet and weird! One of the kids drew me this killer Mario art and I’m gonna frame it and hang it on my wall.

#bonewhiteglory.jpeg #helper teacher #as my friend christina dubbed me #i’m really really happy i can sit down one-on-one with the kids who are struggling with a new concept #i mean this very genuinely: it is my dream to spend several minutes helping them understand that 5 is not greater than 5 #there’s a lot to learn!! it’s kind of overwhelming #i am notoriously patient and kind. people frequently tell me i have big kindergarten teacher vibes #i’ve been there long enough that i’m getting a good sense of all the kids’ personalities #i have mixed feelings abt posting anecdotes on the internet bc idk privacy etc etc but seriously look at how great this art is!!! #thank fuck i can turn off reblogs. #i’m gonna frame this and hang it over my desk :3 #i had no idea 5 year olds were SO BOSSY. it’s great! they’re explaining the rules to me and they’re very patient with me #i’m getting to know kids from the other classes too. i do yard/lunch duty as well. not much $ but it’s sufficient for my needs #anyway… that’s my story #at great length. dunno why i put all this in the tags and not the actual post but lbr i’m mad tired #oh yah i’m happy to share stories in DMs once i get over my social anxiety shit.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Y’all ever had a panic attack so bad that you pass out in front of the manager at your new day job and also a full line of customers?

Yeah so I have a Tweek oneshot idea now

#personal? #but also #south park #for reference I started picking up random shifts at a smoothie place and get really fucking overstimulated during a rush #and I’ve been up for far too long #fully Tweaking on caffeine #and this poor sweet 19 year old kid had to HELP ME TO THE BACK #I am so fucking embarrassed #but Tweek oneshot idea tho #fic ideas #very sorry to everyone who saw that #unfortunately I lived #Stan will be in the role of the manager #and Tweek as me #i hate it here

[ilikecheeseandchocolatee]

If you could relive any of your memories, which would it be?

Okay I really had to think about this and I’m a bit torn, but I’ve settled for one of the two memories that have been contending for first place. I’ll tell you both of them anyway.

The one that has NOT won first place is from 2021, me playing skribbl.in with my discord friends late in the night. I think this will always be one of my most cherished memories because I love skribbl.io, and I’m not allowed to stay up late and I had done it anyway (by sneaking), and my parents are constantly paranoid that I’ll end up talking to someone on the internet (I’m not allowed to speak to people on the internet. Which I do anyway. That’s the only way I can network as an artist who rarely goes out in public.) and getting whisked away and kidnapped and sold for body parts, so I was basically breaking a lot of rules that I didn’t agree with AND I was having a wonderful time with people that cared about me and listened to me and it’s yeah honestly such a cherished memory.

The memory that WON FIRST PLACE tho, is not so glamorous. It was in 2018, I think, and I was in India. I had twisted my ankle a few weeks prior to this memory, and it was raining as I was walking out from school to the bus. I was limping and I had an umbrella with flowers on it. These three guys (from school) behind me poked my umbrella and at first I thought it had been an accident so I ignored them, but then I heard them laughing at me. And making fun of my limp. I ignored them because I was limping and I couldn’t really do much if they all decided to get physical. But they actually followed me quite a ways and eventually they also started making fun of my British accent, and I was getting REALLY fucking worked up. I don’t actually remember what the trigger was, but suddenly I just turned around, limped over to the three guys, and just straight up punched them. They were just standing there while I limped over to them. The one that was in my class turned on his heel and ran in the opposite direction the moment I started limping towards them because he’s seen me in action but the other two guys just stood there like Tf is this little girl gonna do. So I went over, and punched them good. And the look on their faces? I want to see that look again. That day was the day I incited fear in guys from all across my year-group because until then it was only within my class. After that day no one bothered me again, everyone was respectful to me. I really really want to see that look again because the memory of their expressions has all but faded and I really want to just cement that into my brain to cheer me up with I’m feeling low and useless. Btw after I punched them and saw the look on their faces I just turned right around and headed for my bus and they didn’t follow. That adrenaline was coursing through my blood vessels and my heart was thrumming. I only processed what I’d done when I was sitting in the bus. It was a great feeling.

So yeah you’re welcome for the enormous answer.

#thank you for the ask! #i ramble #answers of the cheese #and also don’t worry they weren’t grievously injured I just punched them enough to rattle them #and perhaps cause a bit of pain I guess because yk they WERE scared of me after that #after I processed what I’d done I felt so good but I was also feeling so guilty because like #in my class whoever I’d punched had also punched me back but these guys just didn’t they just gave up #so the next day I went and apologised to one of the guys because I have no idea who the other one is and where I can find him #and he was like ‘it’s okay you can stop the accent now’ which I didn’t understand so I was like okay bye #and then later I asked my friend and I think he meant that he thought my British accent was fake? #boy I wish #but no yeah the next year he ended up being in my class and let me tell you it was a great feeling when his other friends who don’t know me #tried to antagonise me and he just panickedly pulled them away from me without explanation #also for those who are concerned about me now I was in the eighth grade and I was so immature and I promise I’m not violent anymore #i havent punched anyone since eighth grade I think #and I’m weak as fuck now #but I’m not violent anymore and I’ve grown as a person and I’d handle the situation in a much more mature way if it had happened to me now #back then I had anger issues so yeah I wouldn’t have been good with words #so yeah anyway #cheese out

[thatfaerieprincess]

Aaaaaaaa tattoo???????????? Maybe??????

#I reached out to a tattoo artist last night and she got back to me this afternoon #and I’m !!!!!!!!!! #I’ve never gotten this far #I’ve just dreamt about it for years #and never actually taken the next step #and I haven’t like booked an appointment or anything #but I’ve contacted her and confirmed her books are open and she would be interested and on my basic description about what price range #holy shit #my whole chest tightens up and I like panic response any time I think about it #and my friend had to sit on the phone and encourage me to hit send on the email #and I don’t know if that’s a sign I should just not do it but also I’ve wanted one for so long but do I actually or just the idea of one???? #but also!!!!! I’ve had so many fucking god damn needles in my life #it would be kinda nice to finally have some that I CHOOSE #anyway!!! maybe getting a tattoo this winter???? #maybe???? #I haven’t booked or anything yet but #I rlly like her art style and her books are open during the window I’m home #idk how to navigate this around my mom while I’m home but #I think I’ve almost settled on a black line cecropia moth on my upper inner left arm #anyway I’m freaking out and I can’t tell if the terror out ways the excitement or what I’m actually afraid of #I’m not gonna get it before thanksgiving for sure bc that’s too much attention for the once a year we’re all together #and if I wait until mid December then my sibling will be home to go with me too tho Ik my friend would go with me if he’s home too #but anyway anyway anyway anytime I think abt this for longer than a few seconds my brain shuts down and I can’t breathe so #first I gotta parse what that reaction means #Im a rambling sam

[borom1r]

I need more people to watch fucked up movies unironically I need more people to watch something utterly fucking bizarre and be fundamentally changed please I’m begging it’s healthy for the soul I cannot take any more of this cardboard cutout cinema puppeting the corpses of slashers I’m going to start projectile vomiting for real

#I’m not saying go in unprepared but I am saying watching Tusk with absolutely zero idea of what would happen and coming out of it with the #most vivid nightmares I’ve ever had in years to the point I still can’t revisit the film was a groundbreaking moment for me fr #I will never watch that movie again and I do not recommend it but it was very much the catalyst for my taste branching out and me being #way more fucking willing to experience the bizarre and rancid #go pick a movie off one of the middle layers of a disturbing movies tier list and experience art you find morally repugnant and fucking #grapple with it and everything it makes you feel

[afieldinengland]

think i need to take a year out between this degree and a master’s

#never mind that. i think i want to take a year out between this degree and a master’s #i didn’t take a gap year at 18 so fucking hell i think i’ve earned one now #things i could do: -> work -> travel (please) -> remain in the city -> decompress a bit #no idea why i’m justifying this to you. my dad was just surprisingly bluntly against it #when i rang him to sound him out on it last night (because he’s living vicariously through me #— he literally had no other reason). i think academically i’d only come back stronger for it. perhaps i could even try my hand #at writing academically while i’m outside of it. you don’t know. you don’t know what i’m capable of

[ladygoofball]

Adults need to stay out of self indulgent fan spaces. Is this reactionary content for adults? Or do we want them to keep playing the soundtrack of our pains and misery for clicks and laughs.

This is Nobody’s problem Consider it a gesture of good PR when it smacks you in the face.

It should not have to be my problem right now. I am tired.

But riddle me this:

If you saw thought that Keith Harring would have put his entire fucking ass on the line to make sure Aaron Bushnell’s name did not get forgotten?

You’re not alone. I am always being told I am too inexperienced. I need to shovel someone else’s mess for no money. My cats are dying and I don’t have time.

Consider this a healing word:

I have people who are in film school right now? Who can’t fathom a world where the people in front of them can’t fucking conceptualize having the wind knocked out of you with just the power of their words. But a Director comes to fans saying they are tired. The industry is collapsing. I’ll make a whole god damned new one do not TEMPT me with magnum opus status. They do not understand the definition of the word.

That…can’t be right? Is it? You’re all letting the industry standard of VIDEO GAMES whore out your art? Your craft?

For elon fucking MUSK!!

I have had to endure THAT? For weeks. In my self indulgent spaces. Fan run shit and Corporate shit need to be separated. Grooming on the internet moves too quickly. We need to stop allowing grown ass adults to fall into grooming algorithms because Elon FUCKING Musk bought them all. The way that this video game is communicating to us sonatically without REST?!! like we can’t get the POINT?!

It’s always too late.

I have been afraid of going near a good idea for too long but my ideas? KEEP GETTING FLIRTED WITH IN CHAT ROOMS. But everyone is too tired to take my words anywhere.

Nobody gives a damn now BITCH.

Over seven excruciating fucking years i’ve had my ideas flirted with and gone nowhere. That is how groomers speak on the internet now. They never wanted me to know. I can’t say who. I was in film school. They told me I was not smart enough with my degree to redefine the word comic book. I keep having my ideas flirted with and having nothing done about it around VALENTINE’s DAy which was actually supposed to be my birthday. I was born on the 10th of February though.

I cannot put my family’s names out there in a military regime. My money? Is being used to kill kids. Already.

Algorithms are smarter than me? No, i tell THEM how THEY work. With my words.

But NOBODY cares

Tumblr was the first fucking space I had where groomers would make me fucking react to them and keep me on the line for suicide watch. You don’t think I know what crazy sounds like? When your psyche is fractured?

When they want you to have read books you can’t understand out loud and laugh in your face when you try? You need to plug in to the internet

That can’t be your only media diet. It can’t be! I have to change that.

Do you think you are going crazy right now?

That is. An algorithm at work. Bought and paid for, cheap, commercial bullshit. I promise a good idea can sound just as good on a dead platform as it can on a groomers fucking paradise. They won’t publish Jeffery Epstein list.

Nobody will.

Maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe that is intentional. I cannot fucking believe that I have to debase myself using TUMBLR to act like a fan in order for people to start getting more literary with demanding combat training and rest from your video games. I need oaths sworn on camera that I can take that team to combat training and get their fucking winds sailing. No one else seems to want to do it anymore, and I really can’t afford to wait another minute. My cats are dying i’m in tracy chapmans fast car. My cat yowls whenever I get activated now, I can’t stop hearing the day care that I worked for but I was told I was not qualified to work in. I need a FUCKIng BREAK from creating for god damned NOBODY.

I have been telling Elliot for 7 years. That it will be okay. I don’t have hopes left, I’m going to lose them because I don’t have a job.

I am tracy chapmans fast car.

I have a list of video games that you would love, if your self indulgent spaces are getting too full of Marketing getting cheap reactions out of someone for LAUGHS. They think they can take screenshots of my words to pass along and make themselves feel better without sharing?

Who the hell do you think I am? I invented overthinking on the internet motherfucker.

They think you forgot the definition of the word. They did that to you on purpose.

Please tell me you are alright. Because this word doesn’t sound right in your head it’s concerning it’s alarming. It’s going faster than I can type.

#tw: grooming #video games #you wish you had an idea that sounded this fine #personal post break #I’ve been trying to get a microphone for years but they want me? #using a fucking walgreens piece of shit #I’m not debasing myself in front of people I respect #I am trying to get your aching mind to stop screaming #No one thinks we can do it anymore #Right now is too late #aaron bushnell #bg3 #tw: mental health check #if you can hear this in your head go take a walk #me to my duzumi #character analysis

[sluttyten]

Romantic/dating anxiety is definitely a thing (to me). I just steed into the dating world for the first time last year at the ripe age of 26 and when I tell you I’ve been anxious every time I’ve matched with someone/received a message complimenting me before we can even have a conversation/agreed to a date… it’s intense to say the least but I believe in us!

Definitely definitely a thing, like I’ve managed to give myself a decent stomachache just by overthinking this since it happened.

I don’t know what to do lmao because I have 0 experience, and like I just texted my best friend about, I shoot down every person that ever asks for my number or shows interest in me but then I also literally am always like…. looking for someone to be interested in me, but also like as soon as I know for sure they’re interested I don’t want them to be, and also I think I just feel awkward if the person is younger than me, so like when one of my coworkers clearly had a crush on me but he was like 5 or 6 years younger than me so I felt that was weird, and then this guy I don’t even know how old he is either so like that feels fucking awkward to me because nobody ever thinks I am my age, which right now I’m 27 😭 and the other day a girl I work with thought I was 23, which is a compliment but also like I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone that much younger than me 😭😭

#asks #I definitely have social anxiety to some extent though #like literally even the idea of going and hanging out with my best friend half the time I want to cancel and we’ve known each other for #like 12 years by this point if not actually 13 years #and then there’s my friends I’ve actually made at work I always get nervous to hang out with them even tho I see them all the time at work #and I genuinely like them as people #but I don’t fucking know 😭😭 I don’t know what I want and I’ve tied myself into a ball of anxiety so I just want to go home and shower and #curl up in bed except that I also had kinda made plans with my mom to go to target today #ALSO though like if I do respond and if this guy does ask me out on a date this week would be a good time #because since I live at home and since my parents (specifically my mom) are kinda overprotective and since I’ve never been into dating I #feel like they’ll ask me a million questions if I mention a guy or going on a date with a guy #and they’re gonna be gone this week so if I was to go out it would be the perfect chance to go without having to answer questions #but honestly 😂😂 that makes me nervous too #I need to text him back because since he’s a regular and since I work regular hours he’s probably got a general idea of the hours I work #which is also mildly weird to me #I overthink everything btw #I’m stressed 😭😭

[prettyboysmlm]

hey so like i just realized i’m an idiot

#i’ve had a job for a year and a half. #whole time i’m like ‘oh man i really wanna get boxer briefs but i have no way of getting good quality ones without my mom knowing’ #hey. dumbass. #you can go to the store and just buy them. #i’ve bought things there without her knowing before #hell last week i snuck out and bought $30 worth of snacks and she had no fucking idea! #i can literally just do that again #guys i’m normally smarter than this i swear 😭😭😭 #k.txt