#there’s a lot to learn!! it’s kind of overwhelming

[thebroccolination]

“IF NO ONE ACCEPTS YOU, YOU HAVE ME”

Lately I’ve seen the narrative around Krist shifting from “he’s homophobic” to “he was homophobic, but he got better :)” so!

Let’s go back to a moment in 2017 during a ceremony where Krist and Singto accepted an award from the Thai branch of the gay magazine Attitude (now defunct). That’s the magazine that published this photoshoot:

[Attitude, 2018, promoting SOTUS S] (they also did one in 2016 for SOTUS)

Krist said that a friend of his once came out to his parents, and the parents wouldn’t accept him, so Krist told his friend, “It’s okay. If no one accepts you, you have me, and I accept you for who you are.”

So, yes, Krist was hotheaded when people kept harassing him about his sexuality, but can anyone truly blame him? No one looks at all the times he answered politely. Just the one time he broke. [EDIT: I just spoke with someone who was there when the infamous IG story was posted, and they said: “Krist's tone and demeanour when he emphatically said "no" was like, y'know, still friendly. It's like when friends tease you relentlessly and you say ‘no’ more forcefully to get them to stop?” And that actually was my first impression of it back in 2020—a joke that landed badly. And it lines up with his first apology: that he felt badly because his answer was taken out of context.]

There are people today who film these guys at the urinal. Who treat them like property because of money and time spent on them. Who hire trucks to drive around their company building making demands. And it’s 2024. GMMTV has legal teams on this stuff now. But you and I can’t imagine what kind of invasiveness Krist and Singto went through in 2016 as one of the first pairs in the BL industry to gain overnight fame and rabid, unprecedented focus from millions. Of course he snapped. It’s widely known that fans and reporters target Krist over Singto to get information even today because Singto never gives anyone the satisfaction of a reaction, but Krist is a people-pleaser and truly struggles with saying no to people. He’s always been the emotional one, the one who overthinks, the one desperate to make people happy. And when fans wanted to force KristSingto to publicly say that they were secretly dating, fans thought they could get Krist to break first, and they were right. (Personally, I always thought the Instagram story was an exaggerated joke that was a barely veiled “drop it.” EDIT: I’m glad at least one person who was there at the time can corroborate this.)

Then interfans came along, marked him as an easy target, and maliciously miscast him as a bigot to wave after wave of new interfans who never bothered to research further after a random person on the internet told them he’s a homophobe.

Krist asked his parents for their blessing to audition for SOTUS when he was still a teenager. He was afraid of what they’d think, but because his parents are lovely people, they supported him. And they still do. Krist’s father has a running joke that he’ll let Krist marry Singto if Singto brings a durian for the dowry.

I never included Singto in my clarification thread because I knew how quickly people would dismiss anything with Singto as conniving, tricksy fanservice. But you really don’t know anything about Krist until you see him with people he considers his safe spaces. That includes people like Mike. Like Gawin. Godji. Oat. These people who love him because he’s earned it.

I know I talk about this a lot. But I won’t ignore it when people try to twist his character, especially with I see them making assumptions about the premise of Ex-Morning. All I believe is that he was angry and afraid and overwhelmed. Then he reacted, apologized, and learned how to handle the fame and the invasiveness better.

Please stop trying to claw marrow out of a past mirage.

#krist perawat #i’m just gonna post this now before ex-morning promo and kristsingto activities really get going #leave my son alone thank you

[panda-writes-kpop]

I NEED A FLUFF ALPHABET FOR THE REMAINING 7 MEMBERS OF TWICE, STAT (PREFERABLY STARTING TZUYU AND THEN JIHYO) BUT WHATEVER ORDER YOU CHOOSE IS FINE BY NEED, I JUST NEED OT9 TWICE FLUFF ALPHABET NOWWWWWW--

Tzuyu Fluff Alphabet (Requested!)

a/n: of course, lovely! I am so happy you enjoyed my previous works on the Twice members, and I'm happy to (albeit slowly) work on all of the twice fluff alphabets! ❤️ also final exams are this week, please keep me in your prayers as I attempt to pass three exams. 🥲

tw: none!

♡ Masterlist ♡

Affection (How do they show their affection? What love language(s) do they use?)

Not wanting to overwhelm you or herself, she chooses to express her love in quick kisses, subtle touches, and small gestures. Tzuyu definitely shows her love in acts of service along with quality time - there’s nothing better than making you smile with a small gesture as the two of you are together.

Beauty (What do they admire about their S/O? What makes their S/O beautiful?)

You can catch her staring at your face a lot, she’ll deny it to the stars and back, however. There’s something so intriguing and comforting about you that she’s drawn to, so she spends a lot of time studying you. Unfortunately, she can get a bit distracted when she stares at your lips and eyes for too long, so make sure to give her a quick kiss to bring her down to Earth.

Comfort (How would they help their S/O if they were having a rough day?)

Wherever she is at the moment, as long as it isn’t work-related or an unskippable commitment, Tzuyu will come to you if you call/text her that you’ve had a rough day. Of course, you’ll tell her that she could’ve just come to see you afterward, but she likes to show you that you’re a priority to her, and she’ll always be here when you need her the most.

Dreams (How do they picture their future with their S/O?)

Tzuyu wants a future where the two of you can share your culture and customs with one another. Whether you’re living in Korea, Taiwan, or your home country, she wants to keep learning everything about you, especially if you’re learning about each other in the process.

Equal (Do they tend to be more dominant or passive in the relationship?)

Tzuyu is the more passive person in the relationship, but she likes to plan small dates and outings together. You may have to do more of the heavy lifting when it comes to planning vacations or longer events (or your wedding :] )

Fight (Would they easily forgive their S/O after a fight? How would a typical fight go?)

Honestly, the two of you don’t get into serious arguments, it’s more so subtle disagreements about smaller issues. You both are quick to resolve the issue, move past it, and prevent any further problems because you don’t want to upset each other in the future.

Gratitude (How grateful are they for everything that their S/O does for them?)

Tzuyu isn’t the most verbal when it comes to her gratitude or praise, so she shows her thanks with small hand squeezes or a short, loving note attached to your fridge. If you catch her in a softer mood, she’ll wrap her arms around you and give you a long back hug as a thank you for everything that you do for her.

Honesty (Do they tend to keep secrets from their S/O, or do they share everything?)

Tzuyu is honest with her partner, but she doesn’t reveal everything immediately. She’s the kind of person who will randomly tell you a childhood story after you mention a topic relating to the story. Although she isn’t a yapper, she will tell you everything over time. You just have to be patient with her.

Inspiration (Did their S/O change them, or was it the other way around?)

You’re inspired by Tzuyu’s hardworking nature. No matter what is in her way, she always works through it with a graceful smile on her face. You find yourself trying to emulate her positive traits, which causes her to tease you at times for “trying too hard”.

Jealousy  (Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

The “bite your tongue and don’t say anything unless you’re extremely uncomfortable” type. You’re an adult, you can handle being around someone your own age who is extremely attractive. Tzuyu doesn’t have to like it, but she quickly gets over it when you give her a small kiss or a quick hug.

Kiss (How often do they kiss you? Where do they like to kiss you?)

She doesn’t usually initiate the kiss, so how much you kiss is mostly up to you. If she does kiss you, it’s usually a quick peck to the cheek or your forehead. You can catch her off-guard and turn your head, causing your lips to meet. When this happens, Tzuyu usually deepens the kiss for a bit before shyly backing away from you.

Lazy Day (How do they like to spend days off with their S/O?)

Tzuyu likes to both stay in and go out when you both have a day off to spend with one another. You might sleep in late, all cuddle together, before going out to eat and do a little shopping before visiting an amusement park. You head back in the evening and watch your favorite show/movie as you fall asleep next to one another.

Marriage (Do they want to get married? How often do they think about marrying their S/O?)

It isn’t a constant thought in Tzuyu’s mind until she stares at you one day and thinks about how much she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Then it nags at her for a bit before she confronts you, and you end up talking about what you want from your futures with each other.

Nicknames (What do they call their S/O?)

Babe, honey, darling

Standard, simple, and sweet, or she’ll just call you by your name if she wants to tease/annoy you.

On Cloud Nine (What are they like when they are in love? Is it extremely obvious to others?)

Tzuyu is mostly herself when she’s head over heels for you, except she may talk about you more often than her other friends or family, which gives people the hint pretty early on that you’re more than friends. Or she has a small Freudian slip and calls you her partner casually to her friends and family who had no idea that she was dating you.

PDA (Are they very upfront with their relationship, or do they prefer to keep things quiet?)

Tzuyu likes for most of her relationship to remain private, but she doesn’t mind sharing pictures or videos to social media for friends and family. She also tells them about you, whether it’s basic information, a fun story, or something romantic that you did for her.

Quirk (Some random personality trait that makes them an excellent partner.)

Tzuyu is respectful of you and your boundaries. Although she doesn’t move fast in any relationship, if you happen to want to move slower with her, she’ll happily do so for you. She always asks if it’s okay to kiss or touch you, especially if it’s the first time that you show affection to one another.

Romance (Are they a born romantic ready to woo their S/O at any moment, or do they struggle to spark romantic moments with their S/O?)

Tzuyu lies in a comfortable middle ground between the two options. She’s not a natural born romantic, but she’s not unable to spark romantic moments. If the mood calls for it, she’s willing to step up to the plate and be more romantic with you.

Support (How do they help support their S/O to reach their goals?)

She leaves small notes for you around the house and, if possible, quietly tells you how amazing you are and how you can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it. Tzuyu’s going to be there for you, no matter if you succeed or fail, just as you’ve been for her.

Thrill (Do they like trying out new things to spice up their relationship, or do they prefer to stick to a routine?)

Tzuyu likes to stick to routine, but she isn’t against you trying to spice up the relationship every once and a while. Bring her to a new restaurant or place that you can explore together.

Understanding (How well do they know their partner?)

Tzuyu has a deep understanding of you that’s come from being around you and admiring you from afar. She notices and appreciates your smallest quirks as much as your loudest personality traits. 

Value (How important is the relationship to the person versus other relationships and things in their life?)

She tries to hold everything to equal value - her job, her romantic relationship, her familial relationships, and her platonic ones - but sometimes one has to come over another for a small period of time. You’ll always be important to her since you’re the one she wants to spend the rest of her time with.

Wild Card (A random fluffy headcanon that you have about the relationship?)

When you slip up and make a funny mistake, she won’t point and laugh or record you doing so. Instead, she softly exhales and teases you for a bit before helping you clean up.

XOXO (Do they like to kiss, hug, and cuddle you? How often do they do so?)

Although she won’t often initiate it, Tzuyu does like to hug, kiss, and cuddle you. She cuddles up to you every night you spend together, and when you’re watching movies or TV. Hugs are often her choice of greeting or comfort, along with a quick kiss.

Yearning (How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?)

Tzuyu usually dives into her work, hobbies, or other projects while you’re away. She does call you every night and will FaceTime you if you’re up to do so. She knows you’ll come back to her, it’s only a matter of time.

Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

She doesn’t often say it, but Tzuyu will go to great lengths for the relationship. She’d sacrifice a lot for the two of you, but you have to show some appreciation or sacrifices of your own in order to make her invest fully in the relationship.

#kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop gg #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #girl group x reader #girl group #girl group fanfic #twice fanfic #twice x y/n #twice x you #twice x reader #twice scenarios #twice imagines #twice tzuyu #tzuyu reactions #tzuyu imagines #tzuyu #chou tzuyu #tzuyu x you #tzuyu x reader #x reader #fanfic #chou tzuyu x reader #chou tzuyu imagines #tzuyu scenarios #chou tzuyu scenarios

[rin-and-jade]

Welcome to the World! : A Starting Guide for Alters

This guide's purpose is to help either new formed/split, or those recently risen from dormancy, or the unregistered/unrecognized alters to get one step closer to functioning at the outside world!

It'll be one long rundown, click below to start right away, see you on the flip side.

From here on, what will be mentioned are things to assess some potential problems, questions, and self-discovery prompts. It is recommended to follow the flow of the guide, but if you necessarily need to skim to a certain section, this table of contents will help you:

table of contents

The beginning - Introduction

Things to look out for - potential problems to assess - Mobility - Gender & Species unalignment - World confusion

Starters - self discovery questions

How a system works - lite educative version

Closing - last notes + extra materials

The beginning

Nice to see you here, in the flip side! Now i know you have lots of questions on hand right now, and why you might be reading this as first thing's first; it's because i am here to help prepare yourself in many different aspects that cannot be learnt/figured out in such a short amount of time unless it is assisted with an experienced person.

If you haven't know what's going on up to this point, along with the kind of situation you're in, first off, you're a system.

Yes, thats right, system is a word for a collection of many parts within one body and you are also a part of it. This can mean you'll hear other kinds of accent inside head, and feeling + liking fully different things, as well as possessing different levels of certain skills and memory. More or less, this belongs to the qualities of a Complex Dissociative Disorder,, where there are types like DID, OSDD, Polyfragmented, etc.

This happens because of how dissociation can wall up barriers between other facets of yourself that stops some level of communication or complete it's integration when bad things happen in early years, leaving them mainly separated and self-autonomous; they're known as 'alters' but i personally love calling them as 'parts' or some might go with words like 'headmates' or 'facets' or even 'members'.

This isn't enough to explain the disorder itself, but i hope it suffices in explaining your situation! Feel free to check some extra system details if your gang has one, let's get to the next section.

Things to look out for

Just a quick warning and a reminder, if you are rather new or have not been actively out,, there is a high chance of having issues with limb coordination, control, and balancing. Other than that, the off-putting sensations you feel such as wrong type of species, height, gender, or even the world being foreign from how you perceive it can make things scary and overwhelming.

Fear not, as i also have the solutions for all these:

Handling poor mobility: First off, take a good moment to recognize your length of the arms, legs, learn the shape of your palm and fingers, and to every corners of your body. Start holding some simple objects like mugs or pens, remember how it feels to grab something with your fingers and gauge your grip strength, experimenting when you squeeze or loosen it. Then start interacting with the objects with both your hands, attempt to twirl it, or hold it in different positions and turns. You can also go for a test walk and sway all your joints to get a better picture of your movement range, practice makes perfect in easing your balance and momentum, it is normal to stub or be wobbly or clumsy at first, so take it easy okay?

To manage unalignment: It is hard to feel comfy if it is not the right height, especially for non-human aligned parts, so using props or any equipment or accessories can give you some sense of comfort (you can even walk on toes if you do need to feel a bit more tall, but don't over do this). Since fully eradicating this is impossible, doing anything in your power to lessen the discomfort is the best thing you can do,, there are also phantom limbs which basically means the extra body parts you identify with does not exist. This can be remedied by applying some gentle pressure to think that it is attached to your main body or use your imagination to satisfy that missing limb. for those not being aligned with the gender, if the body is feminine but you are masculine; try investing or search for a binder. If a binder is out of reach, wearing oversized, or baggy clothes, or hoodies will do the trick. And a boyish clothing style and short hair style if possible too. If its masculine in a feminine instead, using more girly oriented clothing style and do your nails, or any activities that affirms feminine aligned gender. I am very sure there are silicon chest pads but not in terms of where it is being sold at, so try to find them if it's available in your area. When neither and is androgynous instead, try searching for gender neutral clothes that are also neutral colored like grey/black/brown. There are many inspirations of this type of fashion so use the internet to gain inspirations on making your own androgyny look, you could even use make up to contour your shape of face. Now, for the ones who walk in hind-legs, get some platform heels/shoes/sandals/boots. You can find a flat one or the slanted one to match your needs. The idea is the slanted part of the shoe and the thick base gives an impression of canine/feline foot balance and for those who have hooves, respectively. (honestly, paw printed socks will do too, i hope) Lastly, to manage claws, or fangs, try using fake nail art of your color, or attach a fake vampire teeth guard, respectively. For symbolic means, you can even consume foods that are juicy and red, like meat cooked in medium,, or if you want the more vegan option: watermelons, or gummy that represents meat or grubs or just by being red to represent blood.

Getting used to the world Start learning how technology works--phone, laptop, kitchen tools, vehicle if any, and anything else that are often used. Make sure you practice enough to easily operate them, and learn how to use the internet and helpful plural apps or websites such as Lighthouse or start using Simply Plural. Try many foods to enhance culinary awareness, identify lots of other objects and the geography of your area to navigate and understand better. Touch many kinds of materials to train your sensory processes. You could also invest in watching shows and try a variety amount of activities to deepen your understanding of life. Explore different kinds of subject that you are particularly interested on, and lastly, never be afraid to do and try new things! This will guarantee you to seamlessly function with anything the world has to offer.

For starters - Self Discovery

Do you have a name?

do you what's your age?

What's your gender?

What are your pronouns?

Do you remember anything, and how much?

Do you seem to retain some past knowledge?

Can you describe what you look like? (Includes species)

Do you find the outside world familiar or foreign?

Can you state your bio name, family, or any important info?

Is it possible to describe yourself identity/vibe wise? (crucial part to tell apart fragments from splits and from holders that do not embody a personality)

What role could you fit as? (a host, protector, etc. Search for alter roles)

Do you like the outside world? Will you have a chance of being out more often? (to gauge how often one will front)

Have any likes and dislikes or preferences/hobbies?

For the bullet points you couldn't answer, take this as a sign to start searching! It will take some time, but you can ask help from anyone and even me when needed.

How a system works

A system works in communication (be it internal or external) and switches that also often have a specific trigger to call out someone else. Sometimes, though not a must, will have an innerworld that facilitates as a place for everyone to meet and interact.

These things are crucial for cooperation, because you'll definitely need that in order to navigate the world and adapt accordingly.

Communication

There are many kinds of communication styles, sometimes a mix of some or have all of the above,, whatever style you have, make sure to use it to the maximum. There are: via images, via abstract vibes, via emotions, or via direct (verbal) internal thoughts. Some do not have any internal communication, so external ones would be things such as keeping notes or write in a diary or any app for text editing.

Keep in mind that the clarity of communication fluctuates due to various factors, stress as one of them. So it is important to know that it will not work in a constant 100% at all times, use this awareness to strategize if, somehow, you have lost contact with the others.

Trigger & Switches

It is something that elicits a feeling that belongs to a part, which in return, can 'wake' or call one to co-con or front. There are negative and positive charged triggers, and i suggest you to explore what are your potential triggers.

The relationship with trigger and switches is, depending on how strong it is, can cause a switch to happen, where you will be swapped out by another one who got 'called' upon. This mechanism is for adapting to different kinds of situations, and these certain triggers are the key to ensuring the right part handle it's respective job as needed.

Switches can be very subtle, or slow, or obvious, or in a snap. This fully depends on how your system is made to handle problems on hand or when in stress, as sometimes it can cause rapid-switching, or the opposite, being stuck or locked in front. Sometimes, they also cause physical symptoms.

System terms - Basics

Fronting - the alter who has full control of the body, and performing tasks. Co-front - the alter, who have awareness between the outside and inside world, as well as able to control the body though not as complete as the fronter. Co-conscious - the alter who have awareness of the outside world, and spectates, and does not have any direct control of the body. Passive influence - when an alter's specific traits or likes/dislikes leaked to others and/or at front, that changes the initial reaction to be more blended with the other one. E.g. A like fries, B is there and likes spicy sauces. So now, A is craving to eat the fries with something spicy, even if A has no interest when it comes to spiciness or sauce.

For closing

Practice makes perfect, this is everything you need to know to hone your knowledge before finally stepping outside with complete freedom, where you can start anywhere you'd like, and to resume your collective's path to functionality and well-being. It's okay if things didn't go well at first try, and remember to reach out to people who you could trust as it'll help you progress faster!

I am aware that this guide still have a lot of room for improvement, so any requests or feedback will be added here for future viewers! This guide will be subjected to constant updates with even more sections being discussed on, or added touch of details. I will also add on my own posts here to serve as additional knowledge that is related to this topic:

Types of amnesia

Are you a Shard, Fragment, or Alter

Types of subsystems

Front-stuck, and how to deal with it

Physical switches

Comorbidity

Being blurry

Starters to system foundations

How comorbidity affects plurals (ADHD & Autism)

Dealing with the sense of faking

The person who needs to give their back a break, - j

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #plural #system stuff #jeducates #jsaid

[bonewhiteglory]

I started volunteering in my friend’s kindergarten last month and like… I love these kids so much it’s unreal. They’re so sweet and weird! One of the kids drew me this killer Mario art and I’m gonna frame it and hang it on my wall.

#bonewhiteglory.jpeg #helper teacher #as my friend christina dubbed me #i’m really really happy i can sit down one-on-one with the kids who are struggling with a new concept #i mean this very genuinely: it is my dream to spend several minutes helping them understand that 5 is not greater than 5 #there’s a lot to learn!! it’s kind of overwhelming #i am notoriously patient and kind. people frequently tell me i have big kindergarten teacher vibes #i’ve been there long enough that i’m getting a good sense of all the kids’ personalities #i have mixed feelings abt posting anecdotes on the internet bc idk privacy etc etc but seriously look at how great this art is!!! #thank fuck i can turn off reblogs. #i’m gonna frame this and hang it over my desk :3 #i had no idea 5 year olds were SO BOSSY. it’s great! they’re explaining the rules to me and they’re very patient with me #i’m getting to know kids from the other classes too. i do yard/lunch duty as well. not much $ but it’s sufficient for my needs #anyway… that’s my story #at great length. dunno why i put all this in the tags and not the actual post but lbr i’m mad tired #oh yah i’m happy to share stories in DMs once i get over my social anxiety shit.

[sunsage]

He jerks awake, takes in gulps of air as his brain catches up with his surroundings again. His hands (cold, unnaturally so for him, and shaking but not covered in blood like in the dream), feel around the bed but find nothing other than bunched up sheets. He's alone tonight. Probably for the best. He doesn't really enjoy the thought of being seen like this.

The bed feels uncomfortably cold and overwhelmingly hot at the same time (not to mention damp with sweat) so Wukong wraps the blanket around his shoulders and heads for the door. The night is freezing - literally - but he ignores it, sits at the chilly steps and breathes deeply. It helps with the nervous staticky feeling stuck under his skin as the rest of him gets numb with the cold.

Looking down at his phone Wukong scrolls though his contacts, hovers over Gabriel's name. The image of him bleeding out at his feet is still fresh in his mind and he wants to do something stupid like call and ask if everything's alright or if he can come over.

This kind of dream isn't exactly new. It got worse in the months after Lady Bone Demon's possession and worse still after the time spent in the scroll (and that experience also gave him all kinds of other nightmares to choose from). Most of the time it's Xiaotian being torn apart by his hands. Sometimes it's Macaque. And the little girl who was forced to be the vessel to the cursed spirit, more than once. Mei made an appearance a couple times - though he more often dreams of her killing him, which is just as uncomfortable as it sounds. And sometimes it's other people. And today it's-

He takes a deep breath and holds it in until his lungs prickle with the cold before exhaling. Opens up the messages, looks over their last conversation (he sent a gif of two cats headbutting, titled 'us' and got a cute emoji in reply). The messaging app tells him Gabriel was online twenty minutes ago. It doesn't fully rid him of the discomfort pooling deep in his gut but it will have to do.

It will have to do.

#isola drabble #had a weird dream so i had to give it to him (kind of) #his is just a little worse #i think about the whole possession thing messing him up a lot. like a lot a lot #having all his overwhelming strength used to hurt people he loves without his consent? fucked up!! that would definitely stay in his mind #like he already knows he's strong and capable of using it for bad causes - because he used to do that!! but he's learned to control himself #but what if his body was used to do it?? what if it was outside of his control?? #and like yeah he broke out of it. /eventually/ #anyway ask me about my thoughts on him getting possessed i WILL go ham

[countess-of-edessa]

baked a cake from scratch, fed the dogs and the father, cleaned the kitchen, wrapped christmas presents. wearing a beige sweaterdress and black ballet flats, hair in bun. reading a profile on hilaria baldwin…the cottagecore tradwife in me is winning i fear

#im being sarcastic but honestly though i keep having the creeping and uncharitable thought of like. i don’t think this is quite as hard as #my mother has always made it seem. and my father is literally zero help and she works really hard but also there was always the not-always- #unspoken implication that the reason the house was always kind of messy and disorganized and everything was kind of chaotic and accompanied #by a distinct sense of overwhelm was because of my sister and I #either our stuff or our actions or the fact that taking care of us took up too much time she could devote to other stuff #but neither my sister nor i live at home full time anymore and when we do at least i am objectively more helpful than anything else #so im like okay well that wasn’t it then #and like i also get that everyone thinks they could do better until THEY get married and have kids and then you see #but the backlash against the pressure for everything to be picture perfect has turned into (imo) a general “relatable” idea that #adulthood and especially marriage and parenthood is nothing but a slide into complacency and chaos forever and like. i just don’t agree wit #that. obviously you cannot live as you did as a single person or a non parent but the prevailing image of parenthood i see advertised as #“realistic” is one where everyone is constantly exhausted unhappy and living in filth #i See a question from a woman asking how to SURVIVE nine whole days of winter break with her children. SURVIVE? wtf? #i do think parents of today spend too much time with their children and that’s part of the issue but also like. i cannot believe that #everything is as thoroughly and completely awful as it is pretty much always portrayed nowadays #and how i see it reflected at me. and this isn’t like a housewives don’t work aaaa thing because no. #but like. when i see people being like you can’t expect your sahm to get the laundry done OR dinner made OR the house clean on a consistent #basis EVER i am kind of like…..but literally what are you doing then if none of those things?? #cause unless you homeschool or have literal infants (whole different ballgame) then like…what are you doing #maybe an unpopular opinion but I think a lot of women are bad at being housewives. because it is a skill that women used to study and learn #and now it’s not but it’s still the most important job in society #so we took away all the instruction manuals for the backbone of society and now who comes the closest to approximating an educational resou #? influencers. which is horrible because any person you are taking advice from on Instagram is someone with a public Instagram account #which automatically makes them odd and untrustworthy and not someone at least I would want to emulate. #my mother doesn’t apply to this she is a great homemaker her issues are (1) time management (2) fatigue (3) starts too many projects #but i digress #i suppose i shouldn’t say that I reject the idea children turn your life to chaos because I don’t. but I do reject the idea that #the chaos of parenthood sentences everyone to a perpetual state of overwhelm and reactivity #that simply has never been the case for people in any time period before now even when raising children and the daily business of living wa #far more labor intensive

[mothheart]

I do think if you have a pretty big fear of death, outer wilds is a good game to help you maybe feel just a little less dread about it

#i have so many feelings like #it IS an incredibly tragic game. theres so much pain and grief in it #but it also has a lot of comfort. for how its addressed you dont see anyone with an overwhelming terror in regards to #death in general or acknowledging their inevitable death that is Very Imminent #of course we also have chert (which i still havent recovered from. my god.) but i think it balances out #i dont know if the end is Really the travelers in some mystical mysterious quantum version or just the hatchlings memories but #especially then it really drives it home. they arent afraid. they dont want you to be afraid either #and theres the prisoner and their people who Did absolutely fear death and what the eye of the universe was capable of #but in the end even the prisoner is able to make peace with it. they can see it isnt something to be feared #as much as you might feel it- everything /isnt/ meaningless. everyone and everything will die one day but the things we did and learned #and the ways we loved all matter and they will impact the future. in one way or another those memories and actions carry on. #for better or for worse #its okay to be afraid but you cant let that fear control you or paralyze you #idk i just really really appreciate seeing such a positive and comforting outlook on endings and death #as someone who hates endings and fears death #especially seeing so much nihilism #and i just kind of really latch onto bittersweet media. its comforting for me lol #anywho... #outer wilds spoilers #outer wilds #death mention #miles rambles

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

An adorable student who I worked with last year told me today that she has roses in her backyard and, after I told her how much I love roses (they're my favorite flower!), that she'd pick one and bring it to me. 😭 And had I not been literally in the middle of doing the job that is expected of me that I get paid for, I might've cried.

#crystal visions of lilies in the valley #and tbh it makes me want to do something kind like that for her! 😭 hmm...I think I can think of something. #I feel like I actually know her better than a lot of other students I work with because we've actually talked before during 'down' times #before summer 'last' school year she even showed me a book that she was writing and I was like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #that just made me realize that I guess I actually do have more in common with her than I fully realized before! WELL 🥺 #the only thing is that I don't want to play favorites with students. I'm happy to empathize with them (and do) and sometimes that can #maybe look like favoritism but I try to do that with all of the students I work with so that it doesn't seem as much like favoritism... #even though I do have favorites but tbh that *usually* means I'm even less inclined to let them get away with stuff #because I *know* they can do better and it's my job to help them believe in themselves. BUT...sometimes I get overwhelmed #(by other students* - like today) so I don't encourage them as much as I should have...but...live and learn. #(I'm talking about two different students in two different grades btw. in this post and in my tags. lol) #* and I also know that my job is to help EVERY student believe in themselves. and I try the best I can (barring getting overwhelmed)!

[seagull-scribbles]

Your art is so good it makes me scream and scream and scream bloody murder and gnash my teeth with jealousy and rage that a god would favour a mortal so

Obsessed with your grasp of the English language

Maybe I should make you some tea and you can pull yourself together /💕

#anon #seagull squawks #thank you this is seriously very kind #a very strong and overwhelming response to the voices in my head for sure #idk how to respond i apologise #but thank you #i know my arts grown a lot and im proud of myself in some ways #but i also sit here and think my sketches need to b more dramatic and my line artmoore expressive and I could do more with negative space #learn more about composition #keep studying colour theory #practice proportions #learn more about colours because mine aren’t that pretty #idk #the thoughts are just winning atm even though logically i know i should ignore them #so thank you #i dont think any god as blessed me #but i am a mortal #so thank you!!! #insp

[cerealmonster15]

man. i COULD try to rewrite some of the artfight character bios to make the more concise and less intimidatingly rambley but like. I ALREADY did that. Like a month or so ago. This WAS me trying to be brief im just Bad At It LOL. I just Added More in the end bc More Lore Showed Up after a year 🧍

#Yale…… bdbfbfbtbtbynyb #He’s my biggest offender LOL I managed to reel in a lot with the others… kind of 🧍 #Even with yale I was still trying to leave stuff out I just FAILED ✨ #My friend is gonna try and do like #Charts of info for each character like a template or something #Which is probably smart! I did not do that 🧍 #LOL I’m so bad with these things I’ve learned recently I’m very all or nothing 0 to 100 #Ranging from ‘here’s a funny cat man and a frat boy neon mermaid’ #To ‘here is yale and 600 paragraphs of his life story’ #SORRY all I know how to do is embarrass myself but it’s fine 🕺 #I don’t expect people to like. Read All That. But I typed it so I don’t wanna get rid of it #The bios and lore are just there for flavor #At least my friend I do stuff with yale with is doing it with me lol #Last year was mostly a chain between us she drew yale I drew juju #Over and over and over forever #I’m having a crisis over things that don’t matter #I’m just scared I’ll scare people off with my overwhelming Self LOL

[134340am]

happy sunday frens! hoping it’s a fun but restful one for all of you <3

#i’m sleeeepy #but a good kind of sleepy #i mentioned a few days ago that i was feeling very fatigued and tired #i think it was because i was stressed and had an overwhelming start to the week #like monday to wednesday was just…. boom #and it left me with 0 energy for the rest of the week 😞 #plus i wasn’t eating well so that didn’t help #i went home for a bit and had some home cooked food and rested a lot… now i feel okay again #it’s so funny because i’m an adult now but i’m still learning how to take care of myself and my body #like what makes me tired and what energises me this and that #it’s exciting and scary all at once #i need to do a better job of taking care of myself tho >o< #this week i will make it my goal to drink more water and eat my meals on time #to develop a routine that works for me!!! a little busy bee #anyways sorry for rambling but i hope the coming week will be kind to everyone as well : ) #goob night! #tmi tuna

[drawnecromancy]

putting things in boxes to put away really puts in perspective how DUSTY some of this place is. god.

#i am bad at cleaning regularly and organizing etc #and i kind of gave up these past couple of months #combo of several things! #frustrated with the furniture layout that i can't change [does not belong to me] + overwhelmed with school + brain trying to escape #[hence why i've been sketching so so so much. i'm just trying to stay sane here. it probably sounds so stupid to anyone who knows] #[what i'm up to schoolwise - surely it's not that hard! - but to me it is and i need to draw.] #argh. #so yeah i got overwhelmed by #something that could. arguably ? be considered easy if time consuming #but then that's just a matter of time management- A SKILL I DO NOT HAVE #and am currently learning. #so yeah uh #that's a lot of complaining lol sorry

[bumblequinn]

hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

#adhd #advice #asks #from #sourpatchsquids

[stellarsagittarius]

🦋🩵 Pluto in your Natal Chart: How you seek Power & Control 🩵🦋

📌 Exchange readings: CLOSED

📌 Masterlist + Book a Reading

Pluto in the 1H

You are someone with a intense amount of personal power. There is such a mysterious tone to these individuals which isn't overly to-your-face or overwhelming, it is this consuming magnetic aura these people have. It pulls people in slowly but when it does, oh they are in for some treat. It shows that you view the world as a place to be controlled. You need power in YOUR hands, and do not like it when someone else tries to assume things about you because really, nobody can truly read you. You look into situations so deeply, and this depth is intertwined with the way you seek to view the world and yourself on a very transformative lenses. You bring an immense amount of change wherever you go because of the very way you think about how things should be. If any personal planet or Ascendant is making a conjunct, then this is related to a lot of personal experiences that deeply changes you.

Pluto in 2H

You need an immense amount of control over your finances and your resources. You may not be the most sharing type, but you do like to give out to those who you truly see are in need, and know that they won't misuse it. This is especially heightened if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets in your second house. You are ready to do anything for money, this is said in the best way possible, though if unchecked it can define a person who attaches the value of themselves to how much possessions they have. It can make you possessive and obsessive over controlling your finances, or making you feel like no matter what you do you always end up in some sort of misery. If this is taken in a growth-oriented way then it makes you someone who absolutely knows their worth, and won't settle for anything less than the best. Material detachment is very necessary for you to recognize your true power.

Pluto in 3H

You are someone with an intense thinking pattern. Mainly the way you communicate things to other people or even regulate information within your own brain is tainted by this need to get to the truth. You intensify the process of learning, you need to get to the absolute truth, the in-depth reasoning behind why certain things happen the way they do. You could have been mistreated in school or felt like your school years were more or less quite of a challenge. If pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planet, it especially intensifies the way you learn from the world. The way you always question logic and reasoning behind already proven theories. You hold power in learning. And you might be especially selective when it comes to what kind of information you are consuming, because if you aren't then it can lead to overthinking/anxiousness.

Pluto in 4H

You are extremely private. Especially if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planet, you have clear boundaries between your personal and public life. You do not like to put your matters out in the world, or even feel like opening up with just anyone. Your family life is something that can often get you worked up. You desire control over your private life, over family matters, and this naturally makes you someone assertive when it comes to proving dominance in your home. There could be a lot of clashes with people because you have conflicting ideas about what measures to take in certain situations, and this can lead you to keeping a very hard shell around you. You may feel like the need to constantly protect your personal space, your vulnerability and to not let people get close to you. You may have experienced a lot of turbulence in your home life while growing up or had issues with your father.

Pluto in 5H

You are someone who can have impulsive tendencies when it comes to pleasure. Pluto in fifth often manifests as someone who happens to get way too comfortable in all the good things that it may turn harmful to their well-being. You can become obsessed with all kinds of pleasures out there. This is mostly in extreme cases if pluto is conjunct any malefic. At the same time you are someone who highly values their personal freedom. You have a desire to take control over your happiness, your passions and what your inner child needs. You don't do well in enviorments that restrict you from creating something for yourself. You could have had experiences in life where you felt like you didn't have control over your joys. You always had to oblige to other or people came between you and your passions.

Pluto in 6H

You are someone intensely focused on perfection. You do not like when things are not being done the way you planned it. This is especially intensified if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets. You like control over your routines, your surroundings, doing small things for yourself. This can indicate someone picky, someone particular of what they need in their life or on the other hand this can indicate someone who hates following through routines as they feel it limits them in some way. Struggling with procrastination is also one thing for some people. You are the type to want control over any tasks, sort of become the manager. This may make you someone who is overly bossy, like in a good way if you know other people's boundaries. You may struggle a bit with 0CD, feel like you have stay on top of your work, etc.

Pluto in 7H

What you love, is to be in control of your relationships. You may have bit of obsessive tendencies when it comes to the people you are romantically involved with and you also seek this depth in all your friendships. You are the type to not open up with just anyone, and relationships often come as a challenge because you look so deep within all the situations with other people. Casual relationships, platonic or romantic, aren't your thing. This is especially heightened if any personal planets make a conjunct to your pluto. You seek control over your relationships as well, to gain a good amount of understanding of it. Relationships transform you, this is due to the very depth with which you seek to understand other people. Needless to say, you may have had difficulty in maintaining relationships, or you may have had quite challenging people in your life that highly affected your ability to connect with others.

Pluto in 8H

You are someone who wants control over how you involve yourself with other people. This is especially effective when a personal planet is conjunct your pluto. You either end up in alot of drama or not end up in one at all. Because you need to be in check of what you are giving out and receiving form others. This can make you quite an intense person when it comes to business. Pluto does indicate loss due to an intense amount of transformation, and eight house is the house of transformation. So you can be quite good at knowing when it's time to shed the skin and become someone new. Or it may get challenging for you to find the light at the end of the tunnel due to a lot intense thoughts about what is out there in life. You may have tendencies to overthink your interactions with other people, and sometimes feel like everybody involve themselves in your business.

Pluto in 9H

You are some extremely selective about the beliefs you embody. But at the same time you have this desire to explore the true meaning of reality itself and sort of completely challenge the already set status quo. You seek to transform because of the philosophy you embody. It is deeply intertwined with how you seek to approach the world itself. You observe and learn on a very deep level. This is especially intensified if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets, it gives you this power over influencing people's beliefs and even be this ideal person people can learn from. Knowledge is very important for you to understand the world at large on a deep lens. You are generally interested in the more challenging side of "humanity" like world hunger, poverty, etc. You seek to find the core meaning and whether that meaning is acceptable or not.

Pluto in 10H

You are someone who knows the importance of taking actions that leave a mark. You do not let people dictate what you do, at all. So, you want to have the most control over the way you present yourself, act on your goals and your reputation. You could have dealt with a controlling mother, or people who tried to get in your way in front of everyone else. You may deal with a fear of public or being afraid of social interactions because of being so conscious about your self-image. This is true mostly if you have pluto conjunct a personal planet in your tenth house. On the brighter note, you wish to gain complete control over your career as well. You absolutely do not like taking orders from other and are a boss of your own rythmn. Your public image is something that allows you to assess your actions very deeply.

Pluto in 11H

Social interactions are a key to your personal transformation. This is especially true if pluto is conjunct any personal planets. You are someone who needs to be the best one between your peers or you are someone who struggles with social anxiety. This placement can make people either ambitious or anxious. And both are okay. The thing is you put a lot of emphasis on how well you are doing in your social circles and how many people you are able to, sort of, "gather" for yourself. You need people, you want control over the way people react to you in different circumstances and you truly want them to be on your side. This may induce either a fear of actually making such networks or an overzealous ambition that may lead to an obsession over your social status. You need as many connections as possible because of this fear of either being alone or not having a good status or even just beliefs instilled by your peers that you always have to crave validation.

Pluto in 12H

This is bit of a challenging placement, but I will say that it can be overcome if you use these situations to propel you even further in life, and not stay stuck anymore. It's about recognizing and accepting. This is especially true for those with pluto conjunct a personal planet in twelfth house, because pluto alone has weak effects. You really think deep, and it's almost this fear of how deep you can actually go. Your subconscious is something that really holds the power for you to understand how these thoughts can be channeled in the right direction. Meditation is one big game changer for you. You can struggle with excessive thinking, almost to a point that it's just challenging to even detach from those thoughts. Ground yourself as much as possible. You experience these intense insights into people's underlying intentions and your own psyche.

Thank you for reading 🩵!

#astrology #pluto #natal chart reading #astrology readings #astrology chart #natal chart #pluto in astrology #pluto signs #astrology signs #astrology observations #natal chart observations

[feybeasts]

I really don’t know if this is like. For anyone. But as a 33 year old autistic, I’ve spent a lot of time having to deal with a wide variety of folks in various jobs, and it’s forced me out of my shell. I dunno if you’d call ‘em masking behaviors or just… guidelines, but I thought I’d share some stuff about how I try to go about dealing with socializing with folks, especially neurotypicals, in the hopes it might help folks like me who, growing up, didn’t have a rulebook for this stuff.

It’s by no means comprehensive, but maybe some of you can use it:

Open with kindness, folks are a mystery until you get to know them, but if you’re polite and assume the best unless proven otherwise, nine times out of ten, they’ll be the same way!

If someone is rude or disrespectful or unkind off the bat, it truly is a problem on their end, not yours. I know that’s one your parents might have thrown out without explaining, but genuinely, my experience has been that people aren’t good about compartmentalization, and they tend to let their bad mood spill out.

Similarly, it’s your right to disengage if someone makes you uncomfortable. You don’t owe someone your attention if they’re rude or too forward, and it’s not your obligation to correct their behavior. It’s okay to just move on!

Remember people aren’t mind readers- I know for folks like us, feelings can be Big and Present and Overwhelming, but from the outside, people might just assume you’re being sullen or grumpy. It’s helpful to explain yourself, what’s going on- don’t give ‘em your life’s story and try to lead with kindness, as above, but explaining where your head is at can help folks understand why things might be hard for you.

People REALLY like to try to fix stuff. If you tell someone who cares about you what’s going on and they try to throw a buncha stuff like “well have you tried this” or “maybe you should do this” at you, they’re generally not trying to tell you what to do like you’re wrong, they’re just not sure how to help and are doing what comes naturally- trying to fix the problem. It can help to open any venting with “hey, can I vent about this?” Since then the expectations are set.

People can only operate on the information they have, so it’s better to over-explain than not explain at all. Don’t throw out every single detail of what’s going on, just the basics, but “I’m feeling frustrated because of some unexpected news” or “Well, I’m kinda struggling with my relationship with a friend” can be enough for folks to understand things at the ground floor.

There are very few people in your life who are capable of taking on the weight of a friend’s problems on top of their own, and it takes time to learn who those people are. I know folks like us can make friends quickly and rush into trusting them implicitly, but people can sometimes take a while to show you who they are. And not every friendship is gonna be as deep as we’d like it to be. This is okay, of course, not everyone has to be best buds, but it can help a lot to take the time to wait for those people to show who they are.

Ask questions, listen to people, and know that it’s okay for there to be silence. It’s very easy to get excited about what’s stuck in your craw on a given day, but remember that from the outside, people might get worn out if every conversation is about what you’re fixated on. It’s a give and take, so try to consciously remind yourself to make sure to listen and give them room to speak too! It means a lot when you do that for people!

When you don’t know if someone is ignoring you or if they’re mad at you or what have you from a lack of information, remember that oftentimes it’s a product of ignorance, not malice. Again, you know how you feel about a situation, but they probably don’t. A conversation turning from what you were talking about, someone ceasing replying to you, not answering a question, etc is more often just unaware than they are actively being malicious.

Remember that it’s on other folks to tell you if there’s a problem between them and you, not on you to sleuth it out. If they aren’t properly communicating with you, that’s on them, not you- try not to beat yourself up if someone doesn’t talk to you about something before a molehill becomes a mountain, that’s a mistake all kinda folks make, and it’s something some people never learn.

Most of all, remember that for all the talk of social cues and neurotypical behavior, the truth is, everyone kinda… sucks at this social thing. All you really control is how you approach it, so if you do your best to come into a relationship of any kind with kindness and love for yourself and respect for others, most of the time you’ll come out ahead!

ADDENDUM: BIG one here- if you think you did something wrong, apologize! I don’t mean a big like- sobbing show of contrition, don’t grovel or write paragraphs, but if you speak over someone or say something that doesn’t land or make any little social mistake here or there (everyone does sometimes!) a simple little genuine “oh, my apologies!” Or “oop, my bad!” Not only makes them feel better, it can make you feel better too!

Hope some of these help folks!

[talaok]

Will you kiss me?

Pairing: Pedro pascal x reader

Summary: You are a famous actress who Pedro has a crush on, and he finally gets to meet you once you get both invited to The Graham Norton Show

warnings: just fluff

a/n: I had to

"What a pair we have here tonight huh?"Graham spoke enthusiastically, making the audience explode in roaring cheers and applauses.

You just smiled as you tried looking at the crowd, getting overwhelmed by the blinding lights.

"Y/n Y/l/n and Pedro Pascal, just- wow"

Other applauses filled the studio.

"Ok so let's start with you y/n, you have a show coming out next week, two oscar nominated films already out, and one more coming out next month" he took a deep breath, feigning fatigue "You must be tired, I mean, How long has it been since you slept?" he joked, making you laugh.

"well I did work a lot this past year, but it was worth it, I'm happy I got to be part of so many wonderful projects and I'm really proud of all of them, I just can't wait for people to see them"

"well I'm sure we're all gonna love them"

"I hope so, I'm always nervous about it"

"Really?" The man beside you asked, surprise clear in his tone.

Pedro Pascal,

You had heard of him before, of the boom he seemed to have made lately, but had never met him until half an hour ago, when you briefly introduced yourselves to one another.

He looked nervous, awkward even, and you didn't know if it was because of the show he was about to get on, if he just was like that, or if there was something else bothering him.

"of course, when I go to premiers I'm always looking over at how people are reacting, if they're like bored or on their phones or actually interested, it's nervewracking, don't you?"

"well of course I do" he chuckled "but I'm no one compared to you"

He had a beautiful smile, you noticed, sweet, comforting.

"oh stop it" you smacked his shoulder playfully " you're a big deal, Pedro"

He just shook his head, still smiling softly, and Graham took the opportunity to intervene.

"of course you are, I mean, Game of Thrones, Narcos," he listed " and now the Mandalorian and The last of us, I mean you're really killing it"

The crowd cheered some more at the mention of those shows.

"thank you," he said shyly, looking like he almost wanted them to stop.

"so how does it feel?" he asked, "to be on such massive hits at the same time?"

"Well, it feels... scary" he laughed, joined by the audience

"you don't like being the center of attention?" Graham asked

"oh no I do" he corrected, making you laugh "It's just frightening at times, 

but I'm having a good time y'know, it's also comforting seeing everyone I've worked with kind of be in the same position as me" he shrugged.

"People you've worked with?"

"yes, you know like Bella Ramsey, they're also- well they're young so of course, they're new to this- but, y'know, we're not used to all this attention and it feels good to have someone by your side who understands what's going on"

"of course" graham nodded "that's true, Bella is really young" he noticed "that's a thing both your shows have in common, young people," he said, "how did that feel? working with the new generation, I'm not saying you're old, but did you ever feel left out?"

"oh, all time" Pedro laughed

"yeah me too" you agreed "there were times when I was really lost but too ashamed to ask " you laughed in embarrassment

"absolutely," Pedro said, " they have a language of their own"

"right?!" you exclaimed, happy someone finally understood you.

"yes, like, there's one term that I learned recently that's really wonderful- somebody was saying - you swerve - "

You frowned

"do you know what swerving is?"

"nope" 

"I was like oh- get somebody off your scent or something like that- I don't know - confuse somebody, and they were like: no, they come in for a kiss and you swerve" he demonstrated, pretending to be avoiding a kiss on the cheek.

"Isn't that great?"

you nodded, laughing, as an idea came to you

"We should try"

His eyes widened as he turned to you 

"c'mon swerve me"

"no, I cannot swerve you!"

"c'mon it's for science"

"I can't, I can't swerve y/n Y/l/n, that's like - a crime"

"oh stop it, just do it, I wanna try it c'mon," you said, flattered

"ok fine, but just because I can't say no to you" he surrendered

"ok" you cleared your throat, preparing yourself "Oh wow, hi Pedro" you pretended to greet him, going in for a kiss.

He just smiled, as he did, eventually avoid your kiss,

his beard grazed your cheek, and the proximity to him, sparked something inside you, something quick, but likewise persistent.

As you leaned away, you noticed with amusement the flush on his cheeks and had to bite down a smile.

He fanned himself exaggeratedly "I'm blushing," he mumbled, making you chuckle, as you rested a hand on his arm, trying to soothe him.

" So how does swerving feel?" Graham asked

"it's... interesting" you glanced at him.

"It makes me feel rude" he looked at you too now, "I would never do it, it feels- it's mean"

"oh we know you wouldn't" you reassured him.

"I didn't like it" he shook his head

You smiled, tilting your head "would it make you feel better if we did it again without the swerving?"

You noticed how he seemed to have a momentary shutdown.

"yes," he said bluntly

"oh my god yes"

You laughed softly, as his mouth gaped open.

"Will you kiss me?" he almost begged, which was funny considering you had proposed it.

"Alright then, come here" you gestured, and he leaned closer, letting you press a quick kiss to his cheek.

"there" you smiled

"I think I just died"

"oh stop it, you're flattering me," you said, noticing a trace of red on his face "whoops, sorry I left a lipstick print" you went to clean it 

"no no" he stopped you 

"please leave it, I want proof this actually happened"

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