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#that just made me realize that I guess I actually do have more in common with her than I fully realized before! WELL 🥺
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An adorable student who I worked with last year told me today that she has roses in her backyard and, after I told her how much I love roses (they're my favorite flower!), that she'd pick one and bring it to me. 😭 And had I not been literally in the middle of doing the job that is expected of me that I get paid for, I might've cried.
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torialefay · 3 months
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You Know Whose You Are 👀
hyunjin x gn!reader smut
✨ friends to lovers trope 🔞
✨ request: "Hi!! For your smut prompts can I pls request Hyunjin & 24 (Hyunjin being the jealous one)? Maybe enemies to lovers or friends to lovers scenario? And for the actual p-in-v part can he fck reader holding her up against the wall (like her back against the wall and legs around his waist position)? Sorry if this is a lot, I’m on my period and I’m having many specific thoughts lmao. Thank you!! 🥰🤍" -anon
✨ word count: ~3.5k
✨ warnings: porn with a plot; minors dni!
• you and hyunjin had become close friends quite a while ago.
• he quickly became one of your closest friends after you'd met him in a bookstore after first arriving to korea.
• while keeping your eyes fixated on the rows of books next to you, you accidentally ran straight into his chest.
• after quickly apologizing to him, you both struck up a conversation about your favorite books & authors. you had no clue who he was, and he liked that about you.
• a real friend.
• since that day, you'd messaged back and forth a lot, hung out almost on a routine basis, and made lots of fun memories.
• after a while, you eventually found out he was an idol (it was bound to happen with his weird "work schedule" he always had), but it didn't matter. he was the same hyunjinnie that you'd built a solid friendship with over the past few weeks.
• but that was the problem- you didn't want it to be just a friendship.
• and who could blame you? hyunjin was the most amazing, kind, intelligent person you'd ever met. you had more in common with him than even your very best friend. it was only natural to develop those feelings for him.
• but you knew the feelings weren't reciprocated.
• he'd never made so much as a subtle hint that he was interested in you as more than a friend... and let's be honest, he was basically the most wanted guy in all of korea. how could you compete with all these other beautiful people?
• so you didn't even let your mind wander to that extreme. you accepted the fact that he'd be nothing more than a friend to you, no matter how much you knew it could have worked out.
• "my best friend", you'd learned to teasingly call him. and soon, even you started to believe it. only that.
• one day, you'd gone over to hyunjin's apartment. he mentioned that he wanted to repaint the walls in the living room, so you offered up some of your free time to help him out.
• it wasn't super often that you came to his apartment. only a couple of times. you'd usually only gone out to do things together like go to a new art gallery or to grab coffee and talk about life. cutesy little things.
• you weren't the most familiar with his apartment, but that didn't matter much as you quickly settled in. you placed your phone in the kitchen to blare music, then headed to the living room to help coat the walls with a fresh set of paint.
• it did take a bit longer than you thought, but you didn't mind. when you and hyunjin were together, you always had fun, taking little jabs at each other and laughing to funny stories you had. the time always seemed to melt away.
• after a couple of hours, your playlist turned off. you guessed it had run out of songs.
• "jinnie, could you get a new playlist going on my phone?" you held your hands up, covered in paint. "i think it'd take me a while to do it."
• he laughed, realizing how messy you were compared to him.
• he didn't need to say anything, just got up and walked over to the kitchen, which was only a few steps away.
• as he went to tap the screen, a notification popped up... from one of hyunjin's life-long friends.
• the two of you had met a week or so ago when hyunjin invited him to go to a poetry reading with the two of you. his friend, ha-joon, wasn't necessarily as into the activity as the two of you were, but hyunjin felt bad canceling his original plans with him when he'd found out the event was happening and really wanted to go.
• and now... he was texting you?
• he read the message as it splayed across the screen:
Ha-Joon: Excited to see you tomorrow :) What are you doing?
• it's not that you were very enamored by ha-joon when you first met, but he seemed like a nice enough guy. plus he was friends with jinnie, so you figured he couldn't be too bad. when he messaged to ask if you'd be interested in going out with him, you thought you'd give it a shot. it's not like you had any other romantic prospects.
• "what's your password? i'll flip to a different playlist," hyunjin raised his voice, trying to act non-chalant. he silently thanked the fact that he was just out of sight.
• "2-7-4-4-1-2" you said back to him.
• he quickly scrolled through the playlists and chose one, letting the music blast through the speaker once again.
• "i'm gonna get a drink, do you want one?" hyunjin lied, going to open up the messages on your phone.
• "yeah, i'll take a water if that's okay?"
• "sure, i'll get it in just a sec." he started to sound nervous as he clicked to ha-joon's name on your phone. dang, texts going back to the beginning of the week. he quickly scrolled through to find quite a few message exchanged between the two of you. he scrolled back to the conversation that started last night.
Ha-joon: This might be a little bold, but I'd really like to get to know you more. Not just through texting. Would you want to grab a coffee sometime? Just you and me?
Sure! That'd be really fun :)
Ha-joon: Are you free sometime tomorrow?
I'm not really sure yet. I'm going to help Hyunjin paint. How about we just plan for the next day?
Ha-joon: Sounds good to me!
Ha-joon: Hyunjin will be okay with this, right? With us meeting up?
I don't see why not. He'd probably be happy about introducing us!
Ha-joon: Okay, I just didn't know if I should let him know or not is all.
Ahh that's okay. I don't think we need to rope him into any of this unless things go well between us ☺️
Good plan. I'm excited to see you!
Same here :) Text me tomorrow and let me know where you want to meet up.
Will do! Sleep well 😊
• hyunjin felt his heart break. he knew he had no right to. but he couldn't help it.
• of course he harbored feelings for you. how could he not fall for the one girl he ever felt like truly "got" him?
• but he hadn't wanted to tell you. not yet. he didn't want you to think that was the only reason he kept hanging out with you. he genuinely LOVED being around you. he was himself when he was with you. and he was so scared he'd lose that if he told you.
• but he hadn't said anything. so he couldn't be upset.
• he mentally kicked himself for introducing you to ha-joon.
• he thought on it for a bit as he reached into the fridge to grab a bottle of water for you. he quickly exited out of the app as he rested your phone back on the table to play the music.
• the upbeat tunes coming out completely mismatched what he was feeling in the moment.
• he stood for a moment, then walked back to the living room, where he saw you sitting cutely on the floor, knees bent criss-crossed as you painted the bottom of the wall carefully.
• suddenly, he started to think about how lucky he felt with this sight in front of him. and how he didn't want another man to be able to see you like this: hair tied up, sitting contently on the floor, completely covered in paint, looking so happy just to be there while bopping your head to the beat without a worry in the world.
• he wanted that. he wanted you. and suddenly, he saw red.
• he leaned against the door frame, now subconsciously squeezing the bottle of water in his hand.
• "y/n, can you come over here for a minute?" he said, voice now full of authority. his face looked annoyed, as he looked off, not able to focus his eyes on you.
• you looked at him confused for a moment, then carefully stood up, walking over to him wondering what was wrong all of a sudden.
• "what is it?" you asked, looking up at him innocently. you could tell something had him deeply bothered.
• his jaw clicked for a moment before he finally looked at you.
• "why didn't you tell me you were going out with my best friend?"
• the question caught you off guard.
• "were you going through my phone?" you asked. you didn't mean to sound accusatory, but that's how it came out.
• "i didn't mean to, but there it was." he looked down at you, not backing down.
• "i mean, yeah, he invited me to get coffee... is it a big deal? i thought you'd be happy if maybe we started seeing each other."
• "well, i'm not."
• "look jinnie, i'm sorry. maybe i should have told you, but i didn't think you'd care. surely he's a good person if he's your friend. and i'd like to think i'm a good person, so it just-" suddenly, he cut you off.
• "it's not about being a good person, y/n!" he began to raise his voice. "what about me?!"
• "what about you?" you asked, voice full of confusion.
• "i like you, goddamn it! give me a chance, not him!" he was full on yelling now, pressing himself up against you. suddenly, you felt small, but so fucking smitten at the same time. hyunjin actually liked you? this whole time?
• your head started spinning. it was just... it was a lot. you began to slowly move back from him a bit.
• "jinnie... i don't... i don't know what to say."
• he followed your path, pushing his body forward toward yours. you were about to be trapped in against the freshly painted wall behind you. you had no where else to go without ruining the wall.
• "say you'll let me take you out. not him." his eyes were trying to tell you something, but you couldn't quite pinpoint what. you'd never seen him like this.
• "i can't just do that to him... i mean he's your friend and i don't want to make things weird and i didn't know you even thought about me-" you were just rambling at this point before hyunjin cut you off.
• "i don't give a fuck if he's my friend. i wanted you first." he pushed his body right against yours, your front feeling him completely. he aligned his face perfectly in front of yours.
• "for how long?" you asked meekly.
• "since i first saw you." he let his eyes wander down to look at your lips before coming back up to focus on your eyes.
• being so close to you, he lightly closed his eyes, letting his lips linger next to you. "give me a chance first. if you don't like it, you can go to him... but i want you more than he does. i promise you that."
• goose bumps popped up along your skin. you couldn't believe he was actually into you. it was actually such a shock, you almost didn't even let your mind think on it. you'd wanted it so bad and suppressed it for so long. you didn't even know what to think. so you remained quiet, just pondering on what you could say.
• "let me show you," he whispered into your ear, getting too impatient to wait for your response. "let me show you how good i could be to you."
• again, you couldn't muster up words. you were so shell-shocked, you didn't even know where to start.
• he leaned into your ear, his breath hot over top of you.
• seductively, he whispered into you, "just tell me to stop," before planting a slow kiss to the side of your neck, at the sensitive spot right below your ear.
• you let out a slight moan at the unexpected sensation. you felt the hairs on your body start to stand up.
• hyunjin smiled and moved his small kisses along your jaw and cheek, then planting straught onto your lips.
• he wasted no time in deepening the kiss, running his hands through your hair until he was holding the back of your head in one hand and squeezing your jaw with the other. he wanted full control of you.
• he moaned as you slipped your tongue into his mouth, giving him access to enter inside your mouth too.
• as you smiled into him, he walked you back until you were pressed up against the wet wall. to hell with it.
• you continued grappling at each other, shoving tongues down throats like horny teenagers. you couldn't help it. this was all you'r ever wanted.
• until you started feeling hyunjin slightly buck his hips into yours. you felt his bulge grind the tiniest bit against you, turning you on with the gentlest touch.
• he let out a small chuckle as you moaned at the sensation.
• he kept sucking on your tongue, harder and harder as he more fervently grinded himself into you. you could feel him getting rock hard against you. and fuck did it feel so good. you couldn't help but pant, and run your hands along his body, desperate to grapple onto whatever you could.
• you pulled on his collar, pushed your hand up his shirt to run along his abdomen, tugged on his waist band- anything and everything you could cling to in order to feel closer to him.
• and he reciprocated fully. he moved his hand around your jaw to secure your face down against the wall, pinning you back hard. his mouth never disconnected from yours as he used his other hand to run along your body. down your neck, around your boobs, down your stomach, down to wear he ground against you, hoping to make brief contact with you before taking his hand around your waist to grab your ass.
• you moaned loudly as he shoved his tongue deep into your mouth and grabbed a handful of your ass with a harsh squeeze. the slight pain felt too fucking good to not yell out about.
• your noises only agged him on more.
• he pulled his mouth off of yours for a split moment.
• "let me take these off?" he asked hungrily, pulling at the top of your leggings.
• you didn't have to respond, you quickly yanked the fabric down, along with your underwear and ripped them from your feet and to the side.
• he smiled down at the sight, loving how willing you were to give into him.
• he connected his mouth back to yours as he followed suit and hastily unbuttoned and slid down his pants and boxers.
• when he was done, he grunted as he felt himself now unclothed, finally getting some friction against you.
• you couldn't contain yourself as you heard him grunt for you. you quickly pulled your hand up to your mouth, spitting into it quickly before bringing it back down to stroke hyunjin's cock.
• "ah fuck," he let out, letting himself grow harder and harder. this was the hardest he'd ever been.
• a wave of aggression came over him as he started to feel territorial. he brought a hand around your neck to give it a tight squeeze.
• "faster," he instructed. he reached his hand down to toy with you too, slowly working up pace.
• you felt yourself becoming more deprived of oxygen as you pumped your hand along him, going down to his tip. when he wasn't satisfied, he rested his forehead on yours and began thrusting his cock into your hand, throwing out grunts as he went. he kept working at your hole until you were lightheaded and writhing underneath him.
• he smiled and let out a little laugh as he released the pressure from your neck to let you gasp for air. you felt light-headed and needed to come back down. but hyunjin didn't let up.
• "let me fuck you." it was more of a demand than a question, but you didn't fight it. you slowly nodded from underneath him.
• he swiftly rand both hands down to your waist and then around your ass until they were resting behind your thighs.
• "jump," he instructed.
• you weren't sure about this. you'd never done it before. you were scared you'd fall and ruin the moment, but you decided to just put your trust into it. pushing your back against the wall, you threw your legs up as he guided them and secured them in place around his hips. he made sure to support the rest of you by keeping your back pressed tight to the wall.
• he used one hand to guide his dick to your entrance before steadily thrusting himself inside. it took your breath away at the sudden stretch and feeling of him inside of you. he didn't give you very much time to settle into it though as he started to fuck into you. hard and steady.
• his hand came back up to support under your thighs, securing you on top of him and pushing you back so your head was almost slamming into the wall as he pounded into you.
• you felt so good around him. so tight. squeezing onto him for dear life.
• he hungrily brought his mouth to your next as he sent fast, angry strokes into your. he guided his tongue around, planting sloppy kisses and fast, violent bites that made you scream out. he fucking loved it. he wanted to hear you scream. make you forget about any other man.
• "that's right baby, scream for me. you know whose you are," he growled. he was fucking you so hard you thought you'd pass out from the overstimulation of it all.
• you kept moaning for him, not knowing how to do anything else.
• before too long, you felt yourself start to pant harder, feeling hyunjin hit just the right spot. you started to grow warm inside, getting your breath taken away with each pounding.
• "jinnie," you breathed out, finally opening your eyes to see him with his eyes hyper focused on you, like he was ready to attack at any moment.
• you could only breathe heavily before repeating his name again. "jinnie, i'm gonna cum." you felt yourself reach a breaking point. it was coming. now.
• "that's fucking right. you're gonna cum for me right now... it's just me from now on. only me." he growled, fucking himself into you faster. "cum on me right fucking now!" he ordered, ramming into just the right spot to send you over the edge.
• you gasped as you threw your head back, beginning to spasm around his cock.
• "ahhh fuckkkkk, just like that," hyunjin mimicked you, throwing his head back now too. "fuck, fuck, fuck," he breathed out, slamming into you faster than ever.
• "ughhhhhhhhh," he yelled as you felt him release inside of you. you could feel yourself still shaking around him, not being given any sort of break.
• as he finished out his high, you wiped at the few tears that had built up in your eyes from the overstimulation.
• once hyunjin was done, he slowly lowered your legs off of his hips and set them back down on the floor, keeping his cock resting inside of you as he put you down.
• with you both now panting and trying to settle down, he just brought both hands up to cradle the sides of your face. he pushed himself a bit deeper inside of you, just enjoying the feeling of resting within you.
• he smiled down as he planted a soft kiss to your forehead.
• you smiled back up at him, placing your hands on his chest over his heart.
• "i think this is how we're meant to be," hyunjin said in a low voice.
• "i think so too," you grinned.
• he kept planting tiny kisses onto the same spot of your forehead. "tell me you aren't still going with him tomorrow."
• "of course not. i know whose i am." you gave him a quick wink.
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✨ if you enjoyed, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging <3
✨ head over to my masterlist for more!
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drdemonprince · 12 days
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Re: autistic advice; i keep seeing people making fun of stuff like "are you in a place to hear bad news" or scripts like that. I grew up in an environment where it was common practice to just drop heavy subjects on people out of the blue, & I still find that intensely uncomfortable. But I've now had multiple people tell me that it makes them feel shitty when I ask, for example, "are you up for a dark subject?" & I don't really know how to square it away. I want to make sure that I'm not stepping on anyone's toes or making them feel ambushed or trapped, but apparently it makes some people feel like they're not allowed to have their feelings. I end up feeling pretty shitty about it, because like... it feels like either I have to be Rude (because it DOES feel rude to just drop a dark topic on someone) &/or risk having something shitty I can't deal with dropped in my lap, or else really upset people. I guess... is there a way to navigate this?
I would recommend being more specific.
People find phrases like "Are you in a place to hear something that might hurt you?" and "Are you up for a dark subject?" to be a bit presumptuous about what their emotional reactions will be or what they are capable of handling. It also can make what would have otherwise been a very unremarkable exchange become tinged with anticipatory anxiety.
When someone asks me a question like "are you up to hear something dark?" I might feel coddled and condescended to, rather than emotionally respected. Or if they ask me "are you prepared to hear something that might hurt you?" / "are you up for a serious conversation?" I think they're about to drop some serious emotional bomb on me, like that they're friend-dumping me for something horrible that I didn't realize I did. Then when it ends up being a meme they want to share or a question about a celebrity lawsuit or something i'm kind of pissed at the false alarm and the coddling that, rather than protecting me, made me feel worse.
In either case, rather than giving me time to emotionally prepare or interact when I am ready, these vague questions have introduced some kind signal of social or emotional threat. If anything, it increases the felt urgency to just have the damn conversation already and see what kind of monster is lurking behind the person's words. It makes me *less* likely to exercise control over when the conversation happens or when I see the upsetting thing.
So be specific. "Do you wanna see a disgusting meme?" "I want your opinion on something, but the question touches on sexual assault. Is that okay to talk about?" "I want to talk to you about a conflict I'm having with my other partner." "Can I ask you your opinion on this transphobia discourse?" Etc.
The more specific you can be about the subject and why you are asking about it, the more power you are giving the other person to actually decide what they want to engage with. When someone asks me if I am willing to discuss something dark, I really have no idea what to say. They're imposing their judgement of what is a dark or upsetting topic onto me, when really they have no idea what I might find triggering and what I might really enjoy getting to talk about.
Rather than trying to protect me from something I haven't even encountered yet, you gotta let me encounter it, and actually trust that I will take care of myself. If I don't want to talk about sexual assault I won't, if I don't want to look at gross imagery I'll say no, if hearing one more bad thing about your other partner is going to make my jealousy fume, I am responsible for handling that. You're not responsible for my emotions.
It's good to notice which subjects your friends are especially sensitive to and what big triggers they have so that you can be considerate. My friends know I cant look at lots of blood flowing out of someone for instance and dont send me visuals/fics that feature, say, wrists being slit or blood being drawn. But if they forgot, I'd understand and just look away and squeal oh no i cant look at that get it away. And that would be fine. They are not responsible for my reactions to things.
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spider-stark · 1 year
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THINGS CHANGE
Pairing - Peter Parker x Reader
Summary - Your ex-boyfriend, Peter Parker, finds out that you're planning on going out with Harry Osborn, and he's definitely not happy about it.
Warnings - Sexual situations (no actual smut), slight degradation kink if you squint, angst
a/n - another random little thing I wrote about Peter in-between writing for Infinitely You. considering a part two, but we will see! lemme know what you think :)
// masterlist // send me your thoughts //
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“You seriously can’t expect me to be ok with this!” 
The sound of his voice had your blood boiling, anger instantly coursing through your veins as you realized just how domineering his tone had become. He was purposely trying to push you to your limit, seeing just how far he could go before you would finally break. 
“I don’t care if you’re okay with it, Peter!” You snapped at him, not bothering to even look over your shoulder at the boy as you both trailed through the halls of Oscorp, Peter following at your heels like a lost puppy. “And last I checked I don’t need to ask for your permission when making my own decisions.” 
“You can’t go out with him.” Peter grumbled from behind you, ignoring your words entirely. He respected your decisions, he really did. But it wasn’t his fault that you made such terrible ones, he thought to himself. “He’s a total dick.” 
The comment stopped you in your tracks, swiftly turning on your heel and looking up to stare directly at the annoying boy that refused to just leave you alone. “Guess you two have something in common then.” 
He narrowed his eyes at the gab. “What do you even see in him? I thought you hated his little rich kid attitude.” 
You hated the way he mocked your voice as he spoke. Hated the way he mimicked the phrase you had used to describe Harry Osborn so many times in the past. Yet, he wasn’t wrong.
You did hate the way Harry used to act around you–constantly flaunting his fathers fortune–expecting you to fawn over him like all the other girls that came his way. But things had changed after you took on an internship at Oscorp. Harry realized that his pompous act wasn’t working on you, and the closer the two of you got the more you realized it was just that–an act–and you had grown to like the person he actually was. 
“We both know that’s not who he really is.” Peter stayed silent, both of you knowing that he couldn’t argue with you. Harry was his best friend, and he was a good guy behind the flashy cars and his multibillion-dollar corporation. “And at least he makes time for me.” 
The comment had hit its mark, hurt flashing across Peter’s face as the words cut into him. You didn’t let yourself falter, didn’t let yourself feel the guilt that was starting to rise in your chest. He deserves it, you reminded yourself.  
“You know I always tried to be there for you,” his tone softened, his own irritation momentarily melting away as he began to recite the same spiel he had given so many times before, “but it’s complicated, people need-” 
“People need Spider-Man.” You cut him off, finishing the sentence for him. “And I get that.” You really did. People relied on Spider-Man, trusted in him that he would be there when they really needed a hero. “But I needed my boyfriend, Pete. And he was never there.” 
Things had been complicated since the two of you split, especially since neither of you had been willing or even able to cut the other out of their life. You were Peter’s biggest supporter, and Spider-Man’s, but you had grown tired of the constant suffering that came with being close to him. 
As much as you loved Peter, you couldn’t help but crave normalcy. Someone that could be there for you and make you a priority, something that Peter wouldn’t ever be able to offer. 
There was a beat of silence, the weight of your words still lingering in the air between the both of you, before he finally broke it. 
“He can’t make you happy.” It was a weak argument, and Peter knew that, but it was the only one he had left. 
“Honestly Pete?” You sighed, shaking your head at him. “You set the bar low. Extremely low. At this point I think I’d be happy just to have a partner that won’t crawl through my window in the middle of the night and bleed out on my carpet.” 
Pete rolled his eyes. “Okay, that literally only happened one time!” 
“Pretty sure one time is more than enough.” 
“Well there were plenty of other times where you didn’t seem to mind having me crawl through your window.” He shot you a smug grin, crossing his arms over his chest. “Ya know, for someone who seems so pissed that their boyfriend was Spider-Man, you sure loved fucking me in the suit-” 
Your eyes widened, your head jerking around to make sure that no one was around to hear his words. Peter didn’t seem to care either way, only smirking when he saw the blush that was starting to creep up your neck. 
“I’m not gonna lie,” he continued, once again pushing and pushing, just trying to see how far you’d let him go, “I always thought it was kinda hot. You’ve always been pretty desperate for me, but god, the way you’d act when I wore the suit?” He paused, looking you over as he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip. You hated how the simple action made your breath catch in your throat. “It was pathetic–how you were such a slut for Spid-” 
You roughly grabbed hold of his wrist, snapping at him to shut up in a hushed tone. He let you pull him towards the empty conference room to your left, that stupid proud grin still on his stupid face. 
“What are you trying to do? People can hear you, Pete! Do you want people to find out who you are?” Your attitude was much different than Peter’s, clearly not sharing in his apparent amusement as you tried to quietly pull the door shut. 
A part of you felt like you were getting emotional whiplash from this conversation, somehow jumping back and forth between anger, pity, and guilt while simultaneously trying to pretend like his words didn’t have an effect on you. But Peter knew you, he knew everything about you–and he was using that knowledge to his advantage. 
“You gonna try and get Harry to wear it?” You weren’t surprised that he once again ignored you, only caring to entertain the conversation you wanted out of. 
“What are you even talking about?” 
“The suit.” His tone was so matter-of-fact, so cocky and arrogant. You wanted to hate him for it, wanted to pretend that you didn’t love when he acted like this. “I mean, he’s got enough money to find a replica somewhere, right?” 
You bit down on your bottom lip, your nerves building as you watched him take a step closer. “Shut up.” 
“I’m sure you’d love it, wouldn’t you?” Another step towards you, caging you against the closed door. You could feel his breath against your cheek, though you still refused to look at him. “Maybe you could convince him to wear the mask, yeah? Pretend like it’s still me fucking you.” 
Copper filled your mouth as you bit down on the inside of your cheek, fighting against the familiar warmth building in your stomach. He wanted to get you riled up, that much was obvious, and he knew exactly how to do it. Fuck you, Peter Parker, you had meant to say the words out loud, but they died in the back of your throat as you struggled to find your voice. 
Peter’s nimble fingers lifted to your face, forcing your chin up so you had no choice but to look directly at him. “Even if he wasn’t wearing the mask,” he cooed, the gentle tone not matching up with the dark gleam in his eyes, “we both know you’d still be thinking about me, right?” 
A shaky inhale on your part, desperately trying to maintain a cold stare. You couldn’t let yourself melt for him, wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he still had so much control over you. “You’re intolerable.” 
“You’re not denying it.” He didn’t loosen his hold on your chin, not giving you a chance to break away as his other hand began to trail along your waist, fingers sneaking beneath the hem of your shirt to touch bare skin. “That when you’re with him, you pretend I’m the one touching you,” 
He tilted your head further, leaning just close enough that you could practically feel his lips graze against yours. “Pretending I’m the one kissing you.” 
The hand on your waist suddenly dropped to your hip, his thumb digging roughly into the flesh just hard enough that you were certain it would leave a mark. You gritted your teeth, trying to hold back the gasp that threatened to break free in response to his actions. Peter knew that you were holding back, fighting against your own instincts, and he planned on breaking you.
“Do you wish it was me?” Just barely a whisper, his lips now ghosting against your jawline as he rephrased the question, harsher this time, “Do you pretend that I’m the one inside you?” he shifted his hips as he spoke, pressing them against yours and letting you feel the very prominent bulge in his jeans. You didn’t have time to stop the high-pitched squeak that it had elicited, your face burning red as you accidentally gave him exactly what he wanted. 
“No. I don’t.” The words came out weak, as well as a little shaky, your eyes screwing shut to try and avoid looking at him. 
You weren’t sure how you felt anymore, the emotional motion sickness reaching an all-time high as you grappled with your feelings; just angry enough to scream at him, just horny enough to scream for him. 
Your pitiful attempt to deny him did nothing as he still worked his way down to your neck, lightly nipping at the sensitive skin, grinning against you when he felt you jump at the sensation. “I don’t believe you.” 
His fingers were now toying with your waistband, tugging against the material, begging for any sort of indication that you were okay with it. Both of you knew that you wouldn’t be able to turn him down even if you wanted to, and thankfully you weren’t gonna have to. 
A loud buzz against the door caused both of you to jerk away from each other, Peter stumbling back before you realized that it was your phone vibrating in your back pocket. You didn’t hesitate to reach for it, desperate for a distraction. 
Harry. 
Guilt washed over you as you saw his name appear on the screen, followed by a text telling you that he had finished up work early so he could take you out for dinner. It was a simple gesture, one that some wouldn’t think twice about, but the thought made your chest tighten. 
He was making time for you. 
Peter seemed to know who it was that texted you, able to put the pieces together on his own. That cocky mask fell as he watched you, listened to the way your heart skipped a beat when you thought of Harry. 
“Pete,” He recognized that tone, the same one you had used the night you called it quits, “I love you. You know that, but-” there was always a but, “I just–I can’t do this again. I need to pick what’s best for me.” 
“And Harry is what’s best for you?” It hadn’t been meant as a slight, but rather a genuine question. One he knew he wouldn’t like the answer to. 
“Maybe not.” You hesitated for a moment, dreading what you had to say next, “But I know that it’s not you. It can’t be you. Not again.”  
The words hurt to say as much as they did to hear. Neither of you wanted this, but as much as Peter hated to admit it, he knew that there was no other way. Not right now, at least. Not while the world still needed Spider-Man. 
“Okay.” Peter’s voice cracked, doing his best to force a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes, not in the way it used to. “So where does that leave us?” 
You tried to return the smile. “Friends?” 
“Does that mean I have to see you with Harry?” 
“Probably, yeah.” 
“Fine.” He feigned a look of disgust, earning a small laugh from you. “But I’m not gonna like him.” 
“He’s your best friend, Pete.” You snorted at his statement, assuming that it had to at least partially be a joke. 
“And you’re the love of my life.” Peter shrugged and tried to mask the pain that accompanied his words, while you tried to mask the sound of your heart breaking, “So I guess things change, huh?”
If you liked this, then please feel free to check out my No Way Home series, Infinitely You! :)
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555pnn · 4 months
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Jake(kinda)!dom x fem!reader, enemies to lovers, !fingering, p in v, unprotected, swearing
Agora Hills
Kissin' and hope they caught us,
Whether they like or not
I wanna show you off
I wanna show you off
I wanna brag about it...
y'all it's my first time writing a smutshot so it may be a little cringy, also English is not my first language so it may have a few grammatical errors, enjoy!
Jake and you were two students who could not be more different. Jake was the cocky jerk boy who thought he ruled the school, while you were the flirty, sweet, and smart girl who was loved by almost everyone. You were always at odds with each other, constantly bickering and trying to one-up each other.
Your rivalry started in freshman year when you were both top contenders for the class president position. Jake was confident that he would win, but you surprised everyone with your quick wit and charm, securing the position for yourself. From that moment on, Jake made it his mission to make your life miserable.
But as you entered your senior year, something changed. Jake couldn't deny the fact that he was attracted to you. He couldn't resist your playful smiles and flirty remarks. And you couldn't deny the fact that Jake's cockiness was actually kind of attractive.
Your constant bickering turned into playful banter, and soon you found yourselves spending more and more time together. You would argue about school projects, but then end up laughing and having a good time.
One day, you were both assigned to work on a project together. You were excited to work with Jake, but he was less than thrilled. However, as you spent more time together, Jake started to see a different side of you. He realized that you were not only beautiful and flirty, but also incredibly smart and driven.
As you worked on the project, you started to open up to each other. Jake shared his insecurities about living up to his family's expectations, while you talked about your dreams of becoming a successful businesswoman. You found that you had a lot more in common than you thought.
Your classmates started to notice the change in your relationship. You were no longer enemies, but rather two people who seemed to have a strong connection. And as you spent more time together, your feelings for each other only grew stronger.
One day, Jake couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed your hand and pulled you into a secluded corner of the school. He looked into your eyes and said, "I'm tired of hiding this. I want to show you off. I want to brag about us. I don't care what anyone else thinks."
I was taken aback by Jake's sudden confession. But I couldn't deny the butterflies in my stomach. I looked away from his piercing eyes an whispered, "I don't know if I'm ready to go that far... what if people don't approve of our relationship? What if they make fun of us?"
"Shush, don't be shy! If we keep hiding our love, people will just make rumors about us. We should come out into the open so that everyone can see how we are truly meant for each other." He whispered back while grabbing my chin to turn my head to face him.
"Don't worry about what others think of us... Just as long as we're together, nothing else matters."
"I- uh.... I don't know Jake."
"Come on, you know that you want to take the next step in our relationship too." He chuckled.
"Don't be so unsure, everyone can see how crazy we are about each other." He seemed to confident while he said his sentence in a flirtatious tone.
"If you don't act now, someone else will. You don't want me to get all the attention from other girls, do you?"
"No," I said with no hesitation in my tone "of course not."
"Well, there you have it. If you don't want all those other girls to steal mine away, you need to make your move, fast"
this little...
"Or do I have to do it myself ?"
He leans slowly closer to my face, his breath tinged with a bit of amusement.
"Hmm, I guess I do gotta make my move then...
He places his hand gently behind my head, moving ever so slightly closer to my face. His voice is a whisper, and at this point we're only a couple of inches away from each other.
"That's better..."
He leans finally the last few inches, until our mouths are only centimeters apart. There is a beat of suspense, then, slowly, Jake kisses me.
I'm trying to hide my light tint of blush on my face, but end up allowing myself to fully embrace the kiss. Our lips touch, and our breaths mix together. I melt into his arms as my body becomes flooded with butterflies.
"God, this feels so good..." he mumbles
"And it's exactly how it should feel." I breathe back, intertwining my fingers with his.
"Are you ready to take the next step in our relationship?" Jake asks, a smile playing on his lips.
"My brain says no but my heart tells me otherwise..."
"Well, sometimes the heart knows best," Jake teases gently, maintaining the tender moment we've shared. "Just remember, I'll always be here to guide you through the uncertainties."
I lean in closer, my heart racing with anticipation. "I'm scared, but I trust you," I whisper softly, feeling the warmth of his touch spreading through my body.
"I hope you are," he whispers back, his lips tracing a path down my collarbone, sending shivers down my spine. "Because I don't plan on stopping anytime soon." His hands wander lower, gently brushing against the small of my back.
I bite my lip, feeling overwhelmed by the newfound intimacy between us. My body responds instinctively to his touch, my heart racing as his hands skim the curves of my waist and hips.
"I'm trying to hold back, but it feels so good," I admit in a hushed tone, unable to resist the wave of pleasure coursing through my body. My heart is racing, and all I can think about are his lips. On mine. On me...
As his touch becomes more intimate, I find myself lost in the sensations he's creating. The softness of his lips and the warmth of his hands are intoxicating, yet I still don't find the words to express how much I'm enjoying this.
Jake leans in closer, his breath tickling my neck as he teases, "I could get used to this silence. It makes me feel like I have all your attention."
"Because you do have all my attention"
"God, I love hearing you say that," Jake murmurs in response, his fingers lazily tracing letters on my skin. He leans down to place a soft kiss in the hollow of my neck, causing me to shiver.
As the kisses intensify, I can't help but respond more, my body arching slightly into his touch. Despite the overwhelming sensations, I manage to gather enough strength to whisper, "More." The word is barely audible, but it's enough for Jake.
He groans against my skin and whispers, "Always." His fingers slide up to cup my face as he leans down and captures my lips with his own, teasing me with his tongue.
Jake's mouth finds mine, their tongues tangling in a passionate dance. His hands roam freely over my body, tracing patterns on my skin as if he's memorizing every inch of me. The kiss deepens, growing hotter and more intense by the second.
His kiss is overwhelming, and I can feel the desire burning bright between us as he presses his body closer to mine. His gentle touch has transformed into something more urgent, more possessive, which only adds to the pleasure coursing through my veins.
I moan softly into his mouth, unable to resist the pull between us any longer. It feels like the most natural thing in the world when my legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer still.
As the kiss finally breaks, we both gasp for air, our chests heaving. Our eyes lock, filled with lust and longing. His fingers continue to explore, finding the hem of my shirt and lifting it slowly, revealing more skin to the warmth of his touch.
I feel myself tingle all over as his fingers trace circles on my bare stomach, teasing and taunting me to want more. His lips meet my earlobe, kissing it softly before whispering huskily, "You're beautiful." He says as his hands start to explore further down on my body.
With a soft moan, I arch my back slightly, offering myself up to him. His fingers dance over my skin, finding the heat between my legs. He slowly starts to tease me, rubbing circles around my entrance, driving me crazy with anticipation.
The sensation of his fingers against my sensitive flesh is both intoxicating and maddening. As he continues to tease, I can feel my body responding eagerly, my hips grinding involuntarily against his hand.
Feeling the head of his finger at my entrance, I gasp softly, biting my bottom lip in anticipation. His finger slips inside me slowly, filling me gradually. It's an exquisite pain mixed with intense pleasure that sends waves of desire coursing through my veins.
God, you're tight," he groans, pulling his finger almost all the way out before pushing back in again. His movements are slow and deliberate, each thrust causing me to moan and squirm in response.
"Gosh" I whisper.
The sensation of being filled by his finger is indescribable—it's both thrilling and intimate, leaving me wanting more of him. As he continues to penetrate deeper, my body begins to ache with need.
I find myself growing increasingly needy for more of his touch. I arch my back further into his hand, urging him to go deeper. "Please... more," I whisper between gasps for air.
Hearing your plea, he decides to comply, pushing his finger deeper inside you. The sensation is overwhelming—a mix of pleasure and pain that borders on ecstasy.
"God, you're so tight," Jake groans, sliding his finger in and out of you slowly. The tightness of your muscles sends waves of sensation coursing through his body, heightening his arousal. "I can't believe how good this feels."
I want you so bad," Jake whispers against your ear, his voice hoarse with desire. With a gentle nudge, he positions his throbbing erection at your entrance. With one slow, steady thrust, he slides inside you, filling you completely.
As he slowly begins to move inside you, you moan loudly, unable to contain the pleasure and pain that rolls through your body. You feel completely consumed by him, your body melting into his touch.
The sensation of being filled by him is overwhelming—it's both thrilling and intimate, leaving you wanting more of him. Your body begins to ache with need as he starts moving faster, filling you up completely.
Jake's eyes lock onto yours, his face contorted in a mix of lust and raw desire. "Fuck, you feel so good," he pants, driving deeper into you with each powerful stroke.
The pain in your tightness mixed with the pleasure makes you moan louder, begging for more of this intense sensation. You can feel him hitting deep inside you, filling every inch of you as he picks up speed.
As the intensity between you escalates, your moans become more urgent, echoing through the room. Your body responds to his rhythm, meeting his thrusts with an undeniable hunger.
"Shit," he curses again. "I'm gonna cum." His thrusts become faster and harder as he warns you, his cock pumping against your sensitive walls.
The rushing blood to your head and the pounding of your heartbeat merge into a symphony of sensation, as do the noises of your lover's pleasure. You feel your own climax building, the tension growing tighter with each stroke as his seed begins to fill you up.
You feel his thick member pulsing inside you, the sensation of his impending climax setting off a chain reaction of your own. Your breaths come in ragged gasps as your body tingles with excitement.
As Jake reaches his peak, his hips buck violently, pushing deeper into you one final time. A hot, salty wave of his release fills you up, mingling with your own rapidly approaching climax.
Your orgasm crashes over you, waves of pleasure washing over your body as you cling tightly to Jake. Your muscles convulse around his shaft, milking him of every last drop of his essence.
With a soft moan, your body relaxes into Jake's as your trembles subside and your breathing returns to normal. You rest your head on his chest, your bodies still joined together as you both recover from the intense experience.
Jake gently strokes your hair, his heartbeat steadying beneath your ear. "That was incredible," he whispers, his voice hoarse from exertion. "You feel amazing." He nuzzles your neck, his lips brushing softly against your skin.
Jake smiles against your skin, his heart swelling with satisfaction. "I've been dreaming about this for so long," he confesses, his voice filled with wonder and disbelief. "You're truly extraordinary, you know that?"
As your hearts continue to race in sync, you turn your head slightly to look up at him. His eyes meet yours, filled with a mix of awe and affection that makes your heart skip a beat. You smile softly, unable to find the words to express how much this moment means to you.
"So?"
"So," Jake replies, his voice thick with emotion, "we've just shared something incredibly special. I'm not sure where we go from here, but I know I want to spend more time exploring these feelings and experiences with you."
"I...I want that too," you whisper, your eyes never leaving his. You feel like you could get lost in his gaze forever, but the moment is interrupted by a loud knock on the door.
Jake sighs, reluctantly pulling away from you and straightening his clothes. "Just a minute," he calls out, making his way to the door. He opens the door to find Heeseung standing there, looking sheepish. "Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt,"
"No worries, come in," Jake replies, stepping aside to let him enter. As he closes the door behind him, he turns to face you, his expression softening. "Everything okay?"
You nod, feeling a bit flustered but also grateful for the interruption. "Yeah, just fine. We were about... uh- we were about to start on our next project." You try to act casual, hoping Jake doesn't notice the slight blush on your cheeks.
Oh, cool. So, what's the assignment?" Heeseung asks.
Jake takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself after the interruption. "It's a persuasive essay. We have to choose a topic and write an argument for it."
"Exactly!" you agree with Jake.
"Great," Heeseung responds, looking between the two of you. There's an unspoken tension in the air that he can't quite place. "Well, I should let you two get back to it then. See you later, I guess?"
"Yeah, see you around, Heeseung," Jake says, his voice slightly strained. As the door closes behind their classmate, the room falls silent once more. Jake clears his throat, turning back to you. "So, where were we?"
You clear your throat, trying to shake off the awkwardness between you. "Uh, well, we were just about to brainstorm potential topics for the essay, right?" You force a small smile, hoping that Jake will reciprocate.
Jake nods, trying to match your smile. "Oh yeah, right"
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antimony-medusa · 6 months
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on Consequences in minecraft streaming
Okay so one of the real common things that I've been seeing lately is an increasingly passionate call for certain characters to experience Consequences (and the rest of the post always makes it clear that they mean a specific type of definatively negative repercussions) for their actions during QSMP events. And aside from the absolute deja vu of having seen these same calls when DSMP was airing, and how that turned out (sorry, the syndicate did not all have a meeting where they apologized for their sins while tommy told them they were horrible people), I'm not 100% sure if that's going to happen or pan out in the exact way that I think people are aiming for and expecting will happen.
I keep seeing a lot of people saying that it would be bad writing if people don't get "consequences" for their actions, and what they're specifically asking for is punishment and for people to realize what they're doing was wrong. BBH is supposed to repent for furniture thefts and torturing the people keeping him from his kid. Phil is supposed to realize that actually he's good at PVP and apologize for saying that his team has been suffering in purgatory. Tubbo is supposed to fill in his tubhole and only do things other people ask him to do.
But like, so much of the time, what we're seeing is these streamers being interested in writing morally grey characters, just some little guys who make bad decisions, and the thing about characters being morally grey is that they don't always have a come to jesus moment and become morally pure. Sometimes they just keep being morally grey. Sometimes they get worse on purpose.
Maybe BBH never decides that torturing that guy was bad, because he wanted to get his FUCKING KID back. Like, I seriously think you have to be prepared for that character arc to never end in Bad going "that was wrong to do", and maybe his cubito will still be happy. Phil is a dude with anxiety who's been sure that his kids are going to die from the moment he got to purgatory, streaming at 1-4 in the morning while other teams break into their base, even if bolas goes insane and scrapes out a win I think it's way more likely that that team is gonna go "what a wild fluke that's the power of gas masks" and not have a moment where they go "it was unfair of us to assume that we were underpowered, I guess everybody else was the underdogs! Our bad." Tubbo is tubbo, he's already building a new create thing, he is not going to apologize for leaving marks on the landscape with mod packs.
Like, the streamers are interested in making human characters, making interesting decisions, not communicating moral lessons to their fanbases. Bad is operating within a Taken film, not a sermon. Quackity wants his cubito to be pathetic, gay, and out for revenge, not to communicate the importance of forgiveness to those who hurt you. Tubbo's victory condition is having a nice date with Fred, full stop, does not care who he has to run over to get there.
Absolutely I think there are people intentionally doing corruption/villany arcs on the server, and they probably intend for that to lead places. There will be Consequences, as in, things will happen. Cellbit is doing cannibalsm on purpose, and not as a teaching moment about how good cannibalism is for your social bonds. But like, maybe that leads to him being thrown out of his family and not trusted because of his sins, OR maybe it leads to him murdering his way through a federation complex, facing down a bloody cucurucho, and going "you made me into you and I hate this" and eating him. Narrative consequences does not always mean punishment and a return to moral purity. Sometimes people just do bad things, and then repercussions happen, but they don't necessarily "see the error of their ways". The specific call for like— retribution and repentance as the consequences people are going for— for punishment— if a character has done something bad they don't "deserve" good things to happen to them and it's bad writing for that to happen— I just don't think that those are the stories the creators are necessarily interested in telling.
And secondly, what people are often asking for is character conflict— they want people to be socially excluded by characters they feel have been wronged, and learn the error of their ways that way until they apologize sufficiently. Phil is gonna hate BBH or Tubbo is going to hate Roier or something once they return from Purgatory. People want their cubitos to have beef with each other.
But the thing is, on a meta level, I don't doubt that the entire admin team and streaming team on QSMP is just screamingly aware that this fandom cannot be trusted with conflict. The election was just part of it, but I made it through the election, and Purgatory has been so much more unpleasant— and I am not just talking about twitter. This website, tumblr, has been full of people fighting each other for their teams. And I am not just saying "red team fans have been bad", because boy have I been staring in horrified awe at the takes that some red team people have been putting forward (what on EARTH do you mean BBH deserves to have his kid die, touch grass immediately), but if I step outside of red team circles, everyone is talking about how red team people are horrible hypocrites who win too much and only deserve to suffer (I saw this posting the day that blue had back to back wins, so it isn't even tied to how well red is doing). The quality of the discourse has been increasingly unpleasant, and this has been taking place in streamer's chats, on twitter, in discords, and here on tumblr.
Every QSMP streamer is increasingly aware that having conflict with another streamer is basically sending a wave of negativity their way, and setting off bombs in the fandom at the same time. And they're all friends with each other! Sometimes they decide that the story beat they're going for is worth it and just tell each other to stay off twitter, but like, you have got to be prepared that maybe they will just be friends again. And that might be weaker writing, for people to keep forgiving each other, but that is an unfortunate aspect of the technical aspects of this medium and this fandom. Maybe the creators would be more willing to have character conflict if they didn't know that that meant the person they were mad at in-game would get death threats on social media.
Like no fucking wonder Phil apologized for getting mad at Wil within the same stream and before Wil said sorry to him. This is why the French have given up on revolution arcs, you know it's why the women are all very careful to get along with people. All of those creators know the cost of making anyone into a villain, and I'm just saying maybe get prepared that we won't have inner-party conflict. Maybe they'll decide it's worth it for a fun story moment! Maybe they won't. Maybe don't get 100% married to the idea that the only good writing possible moving forward is for people to be thrown out of the community and then repent for their sins.
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shirecorn · 5 months
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Your reindeer designs give me such childish joy I can't wait to see the rest. What's your process (aka any advice) for designing from scratch with something like just a name or concept?
Redbubble (buy reindeer swag) || Patreon (see all early!) || Ko-fi
See more free tutorials!
You can see my process unfold in real time by joining any tier of my patreon discord. Which doesn't even have to go through patreon! If you want, you can just pay me $20 and let you in for a year (and then lose track and probably keep you anyway)
Here's a preview using comet! (nevermind the preview thing I wrote you a whole lecture lol)
initial sketches in 2021:
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Revisited in 2022 and 2023
I was constantly asking which design was the weakest, why, and how to fix it. Whenever I tested without the magical comet behind it, people could only guess who comet was by process of elimination.
I didn't want to rely on throwing icons into the design. I wanted each one to communicate through shape and silhouette alone. It would be like drawing a little cherub with a bow and arrow floating along with cupid. If you have to include a nametag to communicate, your design can be improved.
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So I tried a few different strategies to say "comet" before I realized I could twist the antlers into any shape I wanted. I was worried I would have to discard the drawing and restart from scratch! Which is what I did for rudolph about 6 times before I had a breakthrough.
Then I gave my patrons a brief lesson in antlers to explain where and why I was placing the tines. When I stray from the caribou structure, I do so knowingly in order to achieve something that cannot be achieved within the caribou shape, like dancer's tutu. Know the rules before you break them. My goal is to make animal nerds (myself chief among them) happy when they see species-specific anatomy instead of cop outs.
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I tried a few things before figuring out antlers could become comet
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Another thing that often caribou have is an unsymmetrical "spork" that comes forward off only one antler. I figured this out by looking at hundreds of reindeer pictures and saving them to my reference folder. A few of my designs have this, that's what the little spiral is in the final comet antler design.
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When I put comet in my lineup, I realized that the antlers I drew were way more stylized, chunky, and "tribal" than the others. I had already changed the proportions on one of my designs to match, so then I had to hack away at the basic comet rack to make it look natural.
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I already knew that comet's colors would be easy because a basic reindeer already Has the big comet on the shoulder. But here's a peak at all the reindeer images I posted for my patrons to look at.
As you can see below, I chose reindeer markings for all my designs instead of other deer or animals. Even vixen is tied to actually possible reindeer patterns rather than copy-pasting a fox. Almost all of my designs have light-colored anklets on dark colored legs, which is very common with caribou of any color. This is the sort of thing no one tells you; you have to observe it yourself.
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Ft cupid's early design! I was continually testing out my reindeer silhouettes and colors on new people, taking their feedback, and fixing what wasn't clicking.
I know I could have made vixen sexy and curvy to play into a recognizable trope, but I really wanted them to be scary and fox-like. Sometimes you gotta do what you want and not what you think will appeal to audiences. Reindeer Days is a purposeful exercise in audience resonance. Most of my art is 100% me and what I feel like doing with no regards to anyone else. So it was a fun challenge!
My patrons also got to see me making fun of corporate designs for recognizably/cliches at the expense of literally anything good
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One of these is going to get a lot more "that must be vixen!" results from people who aren't constantly thinking about animal colors, markings, hunting strategies, and teeth.
And one rocks.
Vixen changed the least from the initial 2021 concept!
A Vixen is a female fox. In english slang, it means a cunning, fierce human woman, and sometimes sexually attractive or promiscuous. Quite often an insult to someone because she won't date you!
But to me, a vixen is an animal. A predator.
When designing to reference something, I like to hit it at multiple angles, referencing obscure trivia about something to delight and educate. This is done by researching a topic deeply, far below surface level and beyond what you think you need to make your design. Or in my case its just knowing a bunch of animal trivia already.
After researching/dredging your knowledge, sit there and Think. Don't draw anything. Come up with several ideas and then throw them all in at once for the ultimate trivia design.
Trivia about red foxes:
They have Long bushy tails
They have teeth that include large sharp canines, flat incisors, triangular premolars, and chunky molars with points on them that slide scissor-like with the molars above to cut meat via chewing
They hunt rodents in burrows under the snow by jumping into the air, arcing, and slamming down with their face through the snow
They are orange
They have a dark vertical stripe on their snout
They have black legs, with the backs and bottoms being orange
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Translated into the design:
Pose based on a fox jumping, about to land in the snow
Antlers twisted to resemble teeth
Long (for a reindeer) bushy tail
black mark on snout
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Some adjustment to the pose to be at the top of the arc and flow better.
Tinkering with the design to make it recognizable but not 100% copypasta fox
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I was finally happy with a design that absolutely showed "fox" while still being creative and plausibly caribou shaped. This would absolutely communicate who it is! I thought!
The most obvious one of the bunch! After all, everyone knows what a vixen is!
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Nope! No they do not
Want to be part of the design process, help me with WIPs months before everyone else, see exclusive doodles every day, and join a funky little community?
(you also get to see photos of my dog)
Connect your discord to your patreon and join any tier to automatically get added to the server. Not a fan of patreon or monthly subscriptions? message me here, on ko-fi, or via email (shirecorn.art@ gmail.com) and ask if you can pay $20 to get put in the server for at least a year and longer if we work it out later!
This was supposed to be a preview to get you to pay me but instead I wrote an entire lecture for free because I can't help myself.
Want to thank me for the free info? Tag me when you use what you learned! Comment and give feedback! If I could pay rent with attention I would never need anything else in life.
You can also thank me by tipping my ko-fi! I use it to buy pens since I die if I have caffeine. But could you imagine??
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justagalwhowrites · 3 months
Text
Yearling - Ch. 30: Blood
Joel and Tommy run into trouble on patrol. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-29 found on Tumblr here.
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Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: Canon-typical violence. Plot points from TLOU2. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 
Length: 7.5k
A/N: Hi y’all, I’m stashing this whole chapter below a jump because it’s been brought to my attention that the major event of this chapter is less common knowledge and more of a spoiler than I really realized it was. There is a major plot point for TLOU2 below. I’m sorry I didn’t tag the whole fic that way (going back to update that now) and I apologize if this spoiled things for people who were trying to go in blind. This is the first chapter with any big overlap and if you want to bow out now, I totally understand. My DMs are open if you want to know more without full spoilers and if there’s a way to keep reading without knowing the plot of TLOU2.
AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
“Dina kissed me.” 
“What!” You yelped and Ellie’s eyes went wide before she clamped a hand over your mouth. 
“Shhhh!” She looked around, her breath rising in front of her. But the only people out right now were inside the stable, a good 50 feet behind you and far enough away that you doubted any of them heard you, even if you were loud. “Jesus, Bambi…” 
She released your mouth and you tried not to giggle. 
“Sorry,” you whispered. “Good for you, kiddo! Told you not to count the girl out because she also fucks men…” 
“There’s no way she meant it,” Ellie rolled her eyes. “Get real.” 
“Why not?” You asked, brows raised. “Why shouldn’t she mean it?” 
“Because she’s Dina,” Ellie said, as though that explained everything. You just looked at her and she rolled her eyes again. “She was just trying to stir shit up because her and Jesse split up…” 
“Uh huh.” 
“And I was convenient,” she finished. “That’s it, that’s all it was…” 
“And you know this because you asked her, I’m sure.” 
“Fuck off,” she snapped. “Look, I didn’t drag you out here to figure that shit out…” 
“You sure about that?” 
“I dragged you out here,” she said, ignoring you, “to try and figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do now.” 
“Kiss her again,” you shrugged. “That’s what I’d do…” 
“I’m being serious!” She hissed at you. “I have to go on patrol with her in like half an hour, what the fuck am I supposed to do?” 
You sighed and smiled a little, putting your hands in the pockets of the coat Joel had given back to you that morning. He said he hadn’t been wearing it but it had to have been hanging close enough to things he did wear and it smelled a bit like him. 
“First, you need to calm down,” you said gently. She looked like she was going to snap at you but you silenced her with a look. “I know it’s hard but regardless of how you want this to turn out, try not to be in your own head about it, OK? She’s still your friend and I’m guessing you want her to stay your friend, right?” 
“Duh.” 
“So eloquent,” you said and she rolled her eyes. “Look, you have two options. You can pretend it never happened and see if she brings it up or you can be up front about it and ask her.” 
“Is there a way to bring it up without looking like a desperate fucking loser?” She asked, brows raised. 
You shrugged. 
“Tough line to walk but I think you’ve got it in you.” 
“Jesus…” 
“Ellie,” you took her shoulders and made her actually face you. “It will be OK. Might be awkward for a bit but it’s not the end of the world. I promise. You can talk to her. She’s your friend for a reason and it’s because you’re kind and you’re smart and you’re funny. Even without the help of Will Livingston. None of that shit changes just because you kissed. Alright?” 
“Yeah,” she said, dropping her head to your shoulder with a heavy sigh. You put your arms around her and gave her a little squeeze but when she pulled back from you, her eyes were narrowed. “You’re in a weirdly good mood.” 
You frowned. 
“No I’m not.” 
“Uh yeah, you are,” she said, stepping back and looking you up and down as though she she were inspecting you. You just raised your eyebrows at her, expectant, when her mouth dropped open for a moment before she shifting to a shit eating grin. 
“Ellie…” 
“You fucked Joel!” 
“We need to have another conversation about the fact that what happens between my legs is none of your business,” you muttered, turning her around to head back toward the stable. 
“No we don’t,” she said. “This is great, you two have been so depressing the last few months…” 
“We have not!” 
“Please,” she rolled her eyes. “You were basically dead for weeks and Joel barely left the house for who knows how long.” 
“That… was less recent,” you said. “And it’s not your job to worry about us so let’s just…” you stopped just short of the stable doors. “How did you know?” 
“Know what?” 
“About…” you lowered your voice. “Joel. Not that I’m admitting to anything.” 
She smirked. 
“That coat’s been hanging in his front closet since you left.” You looked down at yourself and groaned. Her cocky smile grew. “You wanted the coat again. Bingo.” 
“Well just… keep it to yourself, alright?” You said, heading for the door. “I have no idea how to handle this with Savvy yet so cool it for bit. Please.” 
“I can keep my mouth shut you know,” she said as you opened the door to the stable and she went in. She opened her mouth to keep talking but Dina came up to her, smiling, and she froze instead. 
“Hey Ellie,” she smiled a little bigger before looking at you. “Bambi, good to see you.” 
“You too,” you said, clapping Ellie on the shoulder. “Have fun out there.” 
She glared at you over Dina’s shoulder and you just shrugged and winked at her before taking care of the final things you needed to before getting everyone out the door on patrol. 
You seriously considered, for a moment, taking Joel’s hand and just dragging him back home when he told you that you’d be going out separately. Things with him were so raw and delicate and new again. Neglecting it for two days felt dangerous somehow, a tension setting into your limbs before you and Julie headed out. 
You were always last to leave the stables, always waiting until you knew the rest of the patrol was situated even though you knew Olivia could handle things just fine without you. She smiled - a vaguely amused look on her face - as you went back over everything for the third time. 
“I promise, it’s all good,” she said eventually. “Please go focus on killing infected and staying safe and leave managing the horses to me.” 
On the way out of town, you stopped by where the working dogs were kept and asked if you could bring Gatling along, Julie looking a little skeptical as the dog jumped on Renaissance and settled between your legs, her head draped over your bicep. 
“Used to ride like this with her all the time,” you said, kissing the top of the dog’s head. Gatling licked her lips once and curved her body into yours as you sat back in the saddle to make sure she had room. “I’ll let her down once we’re good and underway, she’ll keep up. She’s great at spotting infected and I’m guessing she could be a great patrol dog once we get her adjusted to working with more than just me…” 
“She definitely looks like she can hold her own,” Julie said, watching as Gatling started scanning the horizon, her ears perked and listening, ready to jump off your horse and run down any apparent threat. “What kind of dog is she, anyway?” 
“She’s a Belgian Malinois,” you said, giving her a scratch behind the ears. “They were police and military dogs before. She saved my ass from infected more than once and she kept my girl alive when I couldn’t…” You kissed her head again and she turned to lick your cheek before going back to watching for threats. “She’s a good girl.” 
“Good to know I’ve got someone out here who can really watch my back,” Julie teased lightly. “Not sure I trust you to do it…” 
“Why not?” You asked, gaping at her. “I’m a great shot, keep you alive no problem…” 
“You forget I saw you trying to show Ellie and Savvy how to shoot a basketball that one time,” she smiled a cocky smile. “You barely hit the backboard…” 
“OK shooting a basketball is a completely different animal,” you waved her off. “Where it counts, my aim is solid. Saved Tommy once.” 
“Bullshit.” 
“It’s true,” you said, nudging Renaissance a little faster. “Ask Joel…” 
“Joel, hm?” She brought her horse alongside yours. “Things happening there?” 
You tried to hide your smile but felt the edges of your mouth curve up, anyway. 
“Good for you!” Julie said. “Both because you’re my friend and I want you to be happy but also because I like being right and goddammit, if I’m going to get shot down for a man of all people at least it’s a man I was right about.” 
You laughed a little before you remembered you had things weren’t just magically fixed with Joel yet.
“Do me a favor and don’t mention it to anyone?” You said, looking down at Gatling. “I need to tell Savvy…” 
The dog looked up to you at the mention of her name and you gave her a small scratch. 
“Oh, right,” Julie winced a bit. “Yeah, that might be rough.” 
“Yeah,” you sighed heavily. “I need to figure out a way to do this without losing both of them. I can’t do that again, I just… I can’t.” 
“You’ll figure it out,” she said gently. “It will be OK. Just have to believe it, it’ll happen.” 
“I’ll do my best,” you smiled a little at her. “How’s shit with Karen, by the way?” 
“Oh God,” she laughed. “I’m not sure how much I should tell you…” 
The patrol was easy enough until the snow started flying. It was still, the two of you talking, Gatling sometimes running ahead and acting more like a puppy than you remembered her being before, making you smile. It felt like if she could be like this - young and free and more than what survival had made her - so could Savvy. She would get there someday. You could get her back and make her understand once she was ready. 
Once the snow picked up, you and Julie decided to hunker down instead of pressing on to what was meant to be your final spot for the day. Though you were pretty sure you were only an hour or so shy of it if the weather weren’t working against you. 
“OK this is bullshit is what this is,” Julie said as she stomped snow off her boots and shook it out of her hair. You laughed a little as you got a fire going in the fireplace of the old house you’d reached for the night. It was just at the edge of a small subdivision, a spot you’d ridden past before but never spent much time in. The two of you had gotten the horses settled in the garage and Julie had done a quick walk around the immediate area to make sure there were no threats before coming in to settle for the night. “White, fluffy bullshit.” 
“Not getting you in the holiday spirit?” You teased. “Thanksgiving is coming up, Christmas right after that…” 
“Yeah, I’m already counting down until spring,” she said, shucking her coat and joining you by the fire. “I can only live with this for so long.” 
“I kinda like it,” you said as the fire caught the larger log and you watched it start to go up. “I like that seasons actually change here. It definitely made it easier to mark the passage of time when I didn’t have a calendar.” 
“Well I guess when you put it that way,” she sighed dramatically and you laughed. “But now that you’re in Jackson, we’ll keep you straight on the passage of time. The snow can go.” 
Julie had brought a bottle of whiskey from the Bison - “A perk of the job,” she said - and you were reminded of sleepovers when you were in high school when you and your friends would swipe booze from your parents’ liquor cabinets and get drunk around a bonfire. 
“I feel like we’re going to regret this in the morning,” you said, snug in your sleeping bag on the floor as the fire dimmed, head fuzzy and limbs tingling from the alcohol. Gatling’s head rested on your stomach.
“We can just sleep in a bit,” she scoffed and you heard her adjust on the couch. “What are they gonna do, fire us from patrol for running late? Doubt it.”
You laughed a little. 
“Guess there’s not much to contend with out there right now, anyway,” you said, closing your eyes. “Been quiet as hell all day. Doubt it’ll change overnight.” 
“It’d better not,” she said, sounding sleepy. “Better not be more snow, either.” 
You laughed once. 
“Better snow than infected,” you said. “Or raiders.” 
She didn’t respond and the room was quiet for a moment before you heard a soft snore coming from the couch. 
You laughed and then sighed, pulling a hand from the sleeping bag to scratch Gatling behind the ears. She sighed and curled up tighter to you. 
“It’s gonna be different when we go back,” you whispered to her, absently stroking one of her soft ears. “You can still come home with me, though. Maybe sleep with Savvy instead for a bit. I’m sure you miss her.” 
You tried to think about how to tell Savvy about Joel. It would have been a hard conversation under any circumstance, you thought. Not one you’d ever thought you’d need to have when you’d started caring for her. The idea of being with anyone long term then had been so foreign it hadn’t even crossed your mind. After Marisa, you’d given up on that. Just the occasional lover when there was a woman around who was interested as she was passing through had been enough. 
But Jackson was different. Joel was different. You had safety and security in Jackson and you loved Joel in a way you’d never thought you’d find, especially not after spending so long alone. But how could you tell Savvy something that you knew would hurt her? How could you tell her anything at all when she hadn’t spoken to you in weeks? 
“She’s gonna come around, right?” You whispered to Gatling. You felt her lick her lips and sigh against you. You closed your eyes but left your hand on the dog. “I’ll get her to trust me again. I will.” 
When the pounding on the front door woke you up, you were barely even aware you’d been asleep. But it was daylight outside and Gatling was standing near the front door, crouched low and snarling. 
“Wha…” Julie lifted her head, a groggy look on her face. 
“I got it,” you said, head spinning as you shoved your way out of your sleeping bag. “You stay put.”
“Thank fuck,” she groaned, dropping her head back on the couch and draping her arm over her eyes. You laughed and shook your head, going for the door. 
“Gatling.” The dog looked up at you, ready to obey. “Heel.” 
She fell back from the door and went to your leg, still tight against you, as you opened the door. 
“Glad I found you,” Gene, Jesse’s patrol partner said, pushing past you into the house without waiting for an invitation. “It’s a mess out there…” 
“That’s why we stopped here for the night,” you said, leaving the door open and nodding to Gatling, who immediately ran outside to pee. You waited by the door and let her back in, the dog sticking to your side again. 
“We can’t be that late getting out of here,” Julie grumbled, sitting up and pinching the bridge of her nose. “Not that it’s not just a blast to see you, Gene…” 
“We’re missin’ people,” he said, more to you than Julie. 
“What?” You frowned, crossing your arms over your chest, the after effects of the alcohol suddenly fading fast. “What do you mean we’re missing people, who are we missing?” 
“Joel and Tommy,” he said. “They never made it where they were supposed to last night and we can’t find ‘em….” 
“They probably stopped for the night like we did,” Julie waved him off. “Did you not see the weather last night? It was a shit show…” 
“Probably,” Gene nodded. “But they’d have made it there by now and we didn’t see them comin’ back down, either. No sign of ‘em. Ellie and Dina weren’t where they were supposed to be, either, but we at least found a fuckin’ trail for them, sent Jesse on to get them back in one piece…” 
You were already moving to put your boots on, heart pounding, Gatling giving you a small whine. You put a handful of jerky on the ground for her and refilled her water dish before you started packing up your sleeping bag. 
“I’m sure they’re fine…” Julie said, actually sitting up in the sleeping bag now, her legs pulled into her chest and watching you closely. 
“We should split up,” you said, pulling on your coat. “Cover more ground…”  
“Don’t know if that’s smart…” Gene began but you cut him off. 
“I can handle myself,” you said, harsher than you’d really meant to. “I’ve got Gatling, I’ve got my guns, I’ve got my axe. That’s all I had for 20 damn years and I made it just fine then. If you’re worried, you and Julie can stick together but I’m not gonna sit here and talk about how to minimize risk when they’re out there dealing with who knows what…” 
“Bambi,” Julie said gently, getting off the couch and taking you by the shoulders. “It’s OK.” 
“No,” you shook your head. “It’ll be OK when I find him in one piece, then it’ll be OK, I’m not…” 
“Gene and I will go one way,” she cut you off. “You and Gatling go the other. We’ll cover more ground. OK?” 
Gene sighed, looking between the two of you. 
“You got a death wish, don’t make me stop you,” he said gruffly. “Gonna go get my horse some water, we can head out.” 
You watched him go, a nervous energy coursing through your body. 
“Hey,” Julie said, taking your face carefully in her hands and making you look at her. “It is OK. It’s Joel and Tommy. They’re very, very good at this. They’re OK.” 
There was a pinch of tears at the back of your throat that you had to fight to swallow past. She took your hands, giving them a squeeze. 
“I can’t lose him now,” your voice was thick. “I just got him back, I can’t…” 
“I know,” she said softly, a sad smile on her face and you were struck, for a moment, by just how pretty she was. She pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, her lips lingering on your skin for a second, before she pulled back. “We’ll find him. We will.” 
“Thank you,” you nodded and took a deep breath, one tear slipping free, before looking down at your dog who was watching, ready and waiting. 
“Gatling, heel.” 
She moved to be immediately with you and you went to the garage, quickly saddling your horse and mounting up. You called Gatling up and she settled at the front of your saddle, already watching for incoming threats with her ears perked as you set off. 
You pushed Renaissance harder than you should have through the deep snow, trying to reach some part of Joel and Tommy’s patrol path so you could find some sense of where they might have gone. 
It wasn’t long before you found the path cut by a group of infected. A large one, judging by the footprints in the snow. You didn’t see a sign of Joel or Tommy but the swath of disturbed snow and brush from the hoard as so thorough you doubted you’d be able to tell if two horses had come that way, too. And, knowing Tommy and Joel, they’d have tracked the infected…
You looked higher for a moment, above where people would disturb branches and realized some branches on trees were clean of snow - too high for a person to bump on their own but just the height a tall man on horseback would hit. 
“Goddammit,” you muttered, steering Renaissance in that direction and pushing her on. 
The horse was breathing hard and heavy when you reached a mansion outside the normal patrol area, fully gated with piles of dead infected outside. You looked through your binoculars and saw tracks from the horses leading inside. But something about it set you on edge. Something wasn’t right. 
You commanded Gatling down and tied Renaissance to a tree that provided at least some shelter. 
“Back soon,” you said quietly, giving her a scratch and offering her an apple from your pack. You made sure your weapons were loaded, rifle at the ready, handgun and knife at your hip, axe across your back. Gatling looked at you, licking her lips once, waiting for a command. 
“Gatling, heel,” you said. “Hunt.” 
She latched onto your side like glue, crouched lower and keeping her mouth closed and you moved as quickly as you could for the gates of the mansion. 
There was no one guarding the place that you could see but you closed the gate behind you. If that had been enough to keep infected out before, you weren’t about to argue with it now. There were signs of plenty of people here, footprints of various sizes all heading for shelter inside. You tried not to think about the fact that you might have to torture information out of someone who left those footprints. If they had taken Joel and Tommy’s horses, you’d have to work quick to find what they knew so you could get to them. Torture could be the best option and, if it meant saving their lives, it was a price you were happy to pay. Because they had to still be alive, they had to be. 
The mansion was dark and almost eerily still. It reminded you of some of the places you’d visited when dropping of horses you’d trained to be trail animals for rich assholes before the outbreak, the trappings of extreme wealth couched in some idyllic, fictional version of the wild west. People who in places like this couldn’t handle the real thing. Real wildness would chew them up and spit them out. 
You crept through the house, looking for some sign of people, too afraid to call for Joel and Tommy and potentially bring down who knows how many people on you when you heard it, an agonized cry in a voice you knew, one you knew better than almost anyone else. 
“Joel,” you breathed, and you were running, Gatling at your heels. 
You knew that you should stop, assess, try to form a plan but he screamed again and you plowed ahead. A plan didn’t matter, all that mattered was one thing: getting to Joel. 
You had to get to him. 
He had to be OK. 
He had to be. 
*** 
Joel knew what it was like to die. 
He’d come close enough enough times over the years. Even before the apocalypse began he had a few near shaves. A fall off a ladder at a job site and the thought of “this is it” as he crashed down, the contemplation of what would happen with his daughter if he was gone, if he’d done enough to make it that she would be OK. A car accident that knocked him out and disoriented him enough that, for a moment in the hospital, he thought he was dead. 
The times since had been different, more acute. For a while, it felt like dying would have been a mercy. There was some innate biology that kept his body pushing to survive when his mind saw death as a welcome outcome when he got stabbed or shot when he was taking what he needed to survive or getting the shit kicked out of him when he got overrun smuggling. 
This, though, was something else. He didn’t want to die anymore, not really. He had you and Ellie and even Savvy. He had a reason to live now - live, not just survive - and he wanted it, wanted that life that was hanging there, so tantalizingly close on the horizon as heat of his blood pooled around him. 
He still wasn’t entirely sure what happened, how he’d ended up here like this. He’d reached the girl he’d seen through the binoculars as she damn near got bit, he’d shot the infected and pulled her up just as its teeth were getting close to her neck. 
“We gotta move!” Tommy yelled, shooting another infected. 
Joel gave the girl a once over as quick as he could. 
“You bit?” He asked. She was panting for breath but shook her head. “Got a gun?” She nodded. “Good, let’s go.” 
He tucked her behind him and led the way, trying to find a way through and out. There were dozens of infected, riled up and searching for something to sink their teeth into, desperate for someone to turn. 
“Shouldn’t be this damn many!” Tommy yelled as they scrambled back toward the horses. “Why are there this damn many?” 
“Worry about that later!” Joel snapped, dragging the girl along behind him. She stopped and shot two that were getting too close for comfort and, even in that moment, Joel could appreciate that she was a good shot. “We have to get the fuck away from here, try and lose ‘em…” 
“Think we can get all the way back to town?” Tommy asked, reloading his gun. 
“Hell no,” Joel shook his head. “Need to find somewhere else to hole up…” 
“My friends,” the girl said, looking between the two of them. “We’ve been staying at a mansion, not far from here. It’s got a fence around it, we’ve got the perimeter secure, if we can get there we’ll have help…” 
Joel and Tommy looked at each other. It was unlikely a girl this young would be running with raiders, more likely a group just passing through as they headed for the coast from a QZ. Tommy shrugged and Joel looked back to her. 
“Right,” he said. “We’ll head there, we got horses outside, you can ride with me and just tell us where to go. I’m Joel, that’s my brother Tommy, we’re from a settlement a few hours from here…” 
“Joel,” she said, something shifting in her eyes when she said it. 
“Right,” Joel said, not paying much attention. That seemed stupid, now. But he’d been so worried about Ellie, about you, about getting out of there to make sure you both were OK. “What’s your name, kiddo?” 
“Abby,” she said, an odd twinge in her voice. “My… I’m Abby.” 
They made it to the horses by the skin of their damn teeth, infected at their heels the whole way. 
The kid was right, at least. The mansion was secure, her friends clearing the area with molotov cocktails, infected burning just outside the gates. 
“Jesus Christ that was close,” Tommy laughed, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “Fuck, ain’t come that close in a while…” 
“Couldn’t get a good look at ‘em,” Joel said, looking back at the burning bodies. “See any bullet holes? Any sign they might have run into the girls?” 
Tommy’s giddy smile over surviving faded and he gave Joel’s shoulder a squeeze. 
“I’m sure they’re alright, Joel,” he said. “Shit, Bambi’s a deadeye. And you taught Ellie everything you know. They probably didn’t even come across these fuckers and if they did, they’re fine. They’re fine, both have made it through worse than a few infected…” 
“We should get inside,” Abby said, looking more at one of her friends than at Joel. “Now.” 
Things seemed normal then. Tommy was trying to get the group to come back to Jackson, Joel was worrying about you and Ellie. 
And then they introduced themselves to the group and it shifted. Just like it had with Abby, the change sudden and sharp. 
“Y’all act like you’ve heard of us or somethin’,” Joel said, thinking it was a joke. His mind was still elsewhere, still on you, still on Ellie, still on making sure you both were OK. He wanted to be back in Jackson, back in his quiet house, back in bed with you, pillows actually brought up from the living room and you close enough that he could trace little patterns over your soft skin. 
“Because they have.” 
He didn’t even see the shot coming, didn’t have a chance to warn Tommy to run, his brother on the ground - unconscious? Dead? He wasn’t sure - before he could even think. Joel screamed as the bullet tore through his leg and he went down, straining to get to Tommy through the pain but they swarmed him, these kids his brother had just been trying to talk into coming back to Jackson. They held him down, his back to a wall as Abby knelt in front of him, her face twisted into a snarl. She looked so different than she had when he’d first spotted her, alone and afraid and cornered the way he was now. 
“Joel Miller,” her teeth were gritted, the rifle tight in her grip. 
“Who are you?” He managed, pulling against the people at his arms, people who looked like kids, fucking kids. 
“Guess.” 
“Look,” he grunted and gave his arms a yank but they thrust him back against the glass. “Don’t know what I did to ya but I know I didn’t do it on purpose. Done a lot of shit in my time but I don’t hurt kids and you’re a bunch of kids…” 
“You kill my dad on purpose?” She pressed the barrel of the gun to his chin. “You slaughter a whole hospital of people who were just trying to save humanity on purpose?”
Joel’s stomach dropped. Of course. Of course saving Ellie would come back for him. Of course now that he finally had a life that was worth living it was getting ripped away for the one thing he couldn’t regret. 
“I did what I had to do,” he said, trying to free himself again, even though he knew it was futile. “But it was just me. Do what you need to do, make whatever speech you got saved up, but leave my brother out of it.” 
She squared her jaw, a look of disgust on her face as she got to her feet. She shoved her gun into the hands of the man - barely a man, almost still a boy, Joel thought - beside her. 
“Tourniquet his leg,” she snapped. The others looked around, hesitating. “Do it!” 
She stalked off as another girl obeyed, Joel trying not to scream through the pain as she tightened the belt around his leg. His head was still spinning when she came back into view, a golf club in her hands. 
“You don’t get to ask me for a damn thing,” she looked at him with so much rage, so much hate that, for a moment, he pitied her. That someone so young was so angry and in so much pain, that her father had cast his lot in with a bunch of child killers and paid with his life, leaving her alone, was tragic. “And you don’t get to rush this.” 
She jerked her head toward the people holding him in place and they looked at each other for a moment before stepping back. He tried to move but his leg was fucking useless and Abby swung the club, catching him in the arm before she forced him all the way to the floor with a pained cry. 
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been here now. Consciousness was hazy. So was the feeling in his limbs. At times, it was like he was floating, far outside his body and somewhere far softer and warmer and kinder than here. Part of him was back in his living room, almost a year ago now, on Christmas Eve when it was just you and him and he buried himself inside the hot clutch of your body by the glow of the holiday lights. He was lost in the feel of you, so soft and warm below him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt closer to another person in his life, lacing his fingers with yours and looking into your eyes as you came. He’d promised to take care of you then and he’d meant it, he’d meant it so far beyond that moment inside of you, he’d meant it for the rest of his life he’d take care of you. 
He just hadn’t thought it would be so soon. 
At least, he thought, he’d made things right with you. At least he’d gotten to tell you that he loved you again, at least he wasn’t dying wondering if you could ever have forgiven him. At least things were right with Ellie, at least she’d loved him again and she’d let him love her the way she deserved to be loved. At least she had you and Savvy now, people who would love her that way, too, and make sure she was OK. She was going to need someone to make sure she was OK when he was gone, she was so stubborn and she tried to be so much stronger than she needed to be. She needed someone. So did you. 
At least he’d get to be with Sarah again. She was so much closer now than she’d been before, barely out of reach now, somewhere quiet and safe and peaceful. Just far enough away that what was happening now couldn’t reach her. At least she wasn’t seeing this. At least you and Ellie weren’t seeing this.
Something shifted in the room, the club not landing on Joel’s body again, chaos drawing him back into his body again. 
Everything hurt, like he’d been put through a meat grinder. He wasn’t sure he’d ever hurt this much, at least not physically. Every breath was pain. He’d been lying here long enough that some of the blood pooling around his legs had gone cold. 
There was a vicious snarl, the crack of a gunshot and he realized, suddenly, what happened. 
“Gatling!” He could barely adjust his head enough to see where you were. Your rifle was on the ground but so was the only other gun Joel remembered seeing in the room. Your axe was tight in your hands as you threw one of the men back with a roar. You kicked the guns at your feet behind you and pointed to Joel and snapped your fingers. “Guard!” 
The dog ran to him and crouched around his body, hunched low, snarling and barking. You screamed and Joel struggled to see what was happening, tried to get up but he was only able to make it a few inches off the ground before he collapsed back down, his body too broken to properly obey. You were so close, you were in trouble and he tried to focus on it. He had to get you out of here, he had to take care of you, he’d promised to take care of you. He was supposed to protect you, that’s what he was built to do and he was failing. 
“Gatling, bite!” Your command was more of a shriek, sharp and fearful.
The dog shot away from him for a moment, a snarl followed by a pained wail and Joel could see enough to make out that the animal had tackled someone near you as you scrambled to your feet, more of them coming for you. Joel tried again to move but his injured leg gave out that time, collapsing below him before he could put even half his weight on it. 
“Gatling, release!” The screaming stopped and he heard another snap. “Guard!” 
The dog went back to him, snarling and snapping and 
“Bambi!” 
Joel turned his head too quick to the door, his neck screaming in pain, to see Ellie standing there, her eyes wide.
“Ellie!” He yelled through gritted teeth. 
“Go!” You screamed at her, bringing your axe around, swinging wide on another person coming for you, just catching their arm. “Get help, get Jesse! Go!” 
You circled toward the door, axe up, daring any of them to try to follow her. 
“You’re not a part of this!” Abby prowled toward you. “Don’t make me kill you, too.” 
“He’s a part of this so I am, too,” you panted. “If you wanna try and kill me, you better do it quick and you better be damn sure you do it right because the second I’m down, that dog will rip your throats out one by fucking one. She’s done it before, I’ve seen it. You’ll have to kill me - which she won’t take lyin’ down - and get to the guns behind me to take her down. She works quick, hell of a lot quicker than me. If you’re fightin’ both of us, you don’t stand a chance. You that confident? I am. So is she.” 
Gatling snarled as if on cue. 
“Other option is to get the fuck out of here,” you said. Joel could just see you around the dog, blood dripping from your side, lip split open. “We got backup comin’, we’re from a settlement of hundreds and we’ve fought off raiders and infected for fuckin’ years, think we can handle a band of fucking children without much trouble. This worth dyin’ for? Right now, I got your death warrant. Up to you if I sign it.” 
“Abby,” one of the men said. “Let’s go.” 
“Are you fucking kidding me?” She snapped. “You want to just go? Now? Let him live?” 
Gatling snarled again. 
“You’re runnin’ short on time!” You growled, teeth clenched tight. “Now or never!” 
“You lost control of the situation,” the man hissed. “We’re not all dying for your fucking revenge mission.” 
She turned toward Joel and he watched the hatred and the rage move through her. He watched her think about bringing the club down one more time, just to see if she could land a final, killing blow before the dog struck hers. She moved a fraction of an inch toward him and Gatling adjusted, a vicious bark and a snarl ripping from her. 
“He wouldn’t want you to die for this,” the man said quietly, so low Joel doubted you could hear. “And Miller probably won’t survive this, anyway. It’s done. Let’s go.” 
“Fine,” she bit out, throwing the club aside. Joel tried his best to follow her with his eyes, praying that she wouldn’t go for you. Once the people had moved away from him toward you and the door, you called Gatling to you, the dog standing between you and the aggressors, snarling and threatening. They left, watching you closely, without a word.
The door closed and you dropped the axe, grabbing a gun from behind you on the ground and limping for Joel, blood dripping down your leg. 
“Joel,” you fell to your knees beside him. He tried to say something but all that left him was a pained moan. “You’re OK, I’ve got you, you’re alright…” 
“Tommy,” he managed, panting for breath. “Check… Tommy….” 
“OK,” you said softly, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “Gatling, guard.” 
You snapped your fingers and pointed to Joel again. The dog obediently came and positioned herself between him and the door, body like a coiled spring ready to attack. You went to Tommy and checked his pulse before adjusting him. Joel heard him groan and you said something he couldn’t quite make out before you were back to him, a bag with you this time. 
“They’ve gotta have something in here,” you said, ripping through the contents. 
“Baby…” 
“Tommy’s alright,” you said, glancing at Joel before going back to the bag. “He’s comin’ around. Ellie will be back soon, she’s bringing help, it’s going to be OK Joel, it is…” 
“Baby.” 
“Hush.” 
You found what you were looking for, a bag with some medical stuff inside. You set it nearby and looked over Joel’s back, wincing as you did. 
“Need to look at the front of you, too,” you said. “I’m going to roll you over, alright?” 
“Baby…” 
“Shut up, Joel.” 
Your hands shook and he cried out in pain as you moved him onto his back, flinching when you saw his leg.
“Jesus,” you whispered. “What’d they do to you?” 
“Baby,” he said again, managing to lift a hand enough to almost reach your face. You took it, gently guiding his bloody palm the rest of the way to your cheek as you leaned down into it. “You’re bleedin’.” 
“Oh,” you looked down at yourself. “It’s fine, I’ll be fine…” 
“Need to take care,” he had to stop for a second, grinding his teeth through the pain as it wracked his body. It took him a moment to catch his breath. “Care of yourself. I’m… I can’t make it back, not like this…” 
“Shut up, Joel.” 
“Promised to protect you,” he said, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone. “Lemme do it.” 
“Protect me later,” you said, setting his hand down and ripping the bag of medical gear open with your teeth. “Going to put bandages on your leg, see if we can let the tourniquet off, save the leg…” 
“Baby.”
“Shut UP, Joel!” 
He watched you work for a moment and you felt farther and farther away with every breath. He could feel himself fading and he wished you’d just stop, that you’d take care of yourself and just hold him while he could still feel you. 
“Need you to look after Ellie,” he said as you wound bandages around his thigh. “She’s gonna act like she doesn’t need anyone but she does and…”
“And she has you,” you cut him off with a glare. “So it doesn’t matter.” 
You released the tourniquet on his leg and it was more of a relief than he’d expected it to be, the pain of it fading to a dull enough roar that he’d forgotten it was there until the weight of it was lifted. 
“Gotta get this spot at your side, too…” you adjusted his shirt and leaned over him and he got a better look at your own side, a bright red splotch growing on your shirt, a long gash going from your ribs down toward your stomach. 
“You’re bleedin’, sweetheart.” 
“I know,” you said. “Getting you fixed up first…” 
“Baby.” 
“Joel, I swear…” 
“Need to get you and Tommy back,” he needed to stop for a second to catch his breath, the rise and fall of his chest straining his ribs. “Can’t… can’t die knowin’…” 
“You’re not dying here,” you snapped, your voice thick. “I just got you back, you’re not dying here, you’re coming home and you’re going to be OK and…” 
You sat back, looking at the spot on his side that you’d just bandaged, wiping your nose on the back of your wrist as you did. 
“Gotta take care of yours now,” he said, eyes tracing the spot at your side. But you shook your head. 
“Outta gauze.” 
“Baby…” 
“It’s not that bad,” you sniffed. “I’ll just… hold pressure until Ellie gets back. It’s OK, you’re gonna be OK, I can’t….” 
“Here,” he ground his teeth, breathing through another wave of pain. “Lay… lay with me. Cut side up, keep the blood from flowin’ too easy.” 
You looked at him for a moment before nodding and lying delicately next to him. He adjusted as best he could so he could see you, touch you. You’d been hit in the face at least twice, one of your eyes swelling shut and your lip split open. But you were still beautiful, so damn beautiful. 
“I’m so sorry baby,” he said softly. 
“Joel…” 
“Wanted… wanted so much more time with you and the girls,” he said quietly. Your skin was soft, so soft it seemed like the sensation of it might be the only thing holding him to the earth. “I’m so sorry we’re not gettin’ that…” 
“Stop talking like that,” you were crying now, not making any attempt to stop it. 
“It’ll be OK sweetheart,” he said. “You’ll… you’ll be alright. Ellie’s gonna need you, keep an eye on her for me. Keep her outta trouble. Savvy, too. She loves you… she’ll… she’ll come around…” 
“Joel,” you whispered, reaching out to cup his face, your fingers in his curls, one of the only places on his body he wasn’t bleeding. 
“I’m so happy we made things right,” he said, his eyes searching yours. He wondered, if he watched you closely enough, if he could bring the precise color of them with him wherever he was going. “I love you so damn much, sweetheart. Need you to know that, OK? I love you.” 
“I love you too,” you breathed. Your skin was so soft and your breath was warm on his skin. “I love you. I love you.” 
You said it again and again. It was the last thing Joel heard before he passed out. 
Next Chapter
A/N: Hi y'all ❤️
Again, begging for you to trust me, OK? OK.
I do love you but... feel free to yell at me in the comments or in my asks or DMs. I'll be responding to asks about the last chapter soon now that this one is up.
Thanks for going on this crazy ride with me!! It truly means the world.
Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123@ashleyfilm
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yeah-yeah-beebiss-1 · 2 years
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I feel like if people had any sort of common sense at all, they would've realized that Nintendo firing a voice actor over an apparent pay dispute but then hiring someone that costs much more might have meant that there was more to the story than just money. Perhaps unrelated, Hellena Taylor is a TERF.
Thing is, “video game voice acting pays like dogshit” and “companies can and will use lowball offers to get contractors to leave of their own accord” are both commonly-known facts. With this in mind, I don’t blame people (myself included) for taking Taylor’s initial claims at face value because they were plausible. The multiple-session rate that it turned out Platinum actually offered was still low in a general sense, but it was at least consistent with union rates in the field. From what I can tell, if this new information is correct, it seems like it went something like this:
-Platinum approached Taylor with an industry-standard offer, five several-hour sessions at $3-4k each. VAs absolutely should be getting more than this, but it isn’t a lowball offer by current industry standards.
-Taylor declined and asked for six figures plus residuals, which is frankly unrealistic in the current industry (even if game VAs absolutely should be getting residuals).
-Platinum opted to bring on a new VA who would take the standard union rate (Jennifer Hale). Platinum initially announced to the public that the change was due to “scheduling conflicts.” They still offered Taylor a cameo role that would be a single $4k session.
-For whatever reason, Taylor took to the social-media warpath and spun the cameo offer as her being offered $4k for the entire game. People took her at face value because, again, plenty of VAs have been paid less for similar projects. Other VAs in turn speak up about some of the dogshit rates they’ve been offered for games that are frankly much bigger than Bayonetta.
-When Taylor’s story went viral, rather than hunkering down and letting PR do their thing, Hideki Kamiya went on his usual hyper-abrasive Twitter routine. When people started roasting him online over the allegations, he made very angry vaguetweets about the situation and blocked so many people that the Twitter suspicious-account-activity algorithm flagged his account. This is, as the kids say, not a good look for someone whose studio is facing scrutiny.
-Someone within Platinum or familiar with the project leaks documents showing the full situation to journalists, Jason Schreier is the first to break the story. He’s generally been pretty aggressively pro-worker when reporting on stories related to labor issues in the games industry, so the fact that he’s vouching for these documents suggests that he’s pretty confident in their legitimacy.
-Taylor doubles down on her side of the story. Jennifer Hale has mostly been silent on the matter (likely due to NDAs), but has liked tweets alluding to the idea that there are two sides to the story. Platinum has yet to issue a direct statement about the situation beyond the initial “scheduling conflicts” claim.
This is just my attempt to piece the situation together based on the public information available right now. For all I know, some new development may crop up that completely vindicates Platinum or proves Taylor correct. We’ll watch this space, I guess. My gaming time is still being consumed by Xenoblade 3 so I’m in no rush to get the new Bayonetta at launch, as much as I love the series.
(And yeah, Hellena Taylor’s dodgy politics don’t strike me as surprising in retrospect; I’m already on a “probably transphobic until proven otherwise” attitude with any Brit over the age of, like, 40. But if her claims of being offered $4k for the lead role of the whole game are true, then her being a shitty person doesn’t change the fact that Platinum made a ridiculously low offer.)
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commander-henrietta · 6 months
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I am not sure if this is common knowledge and that I am saying already known stuff, but Orrian location names are very much Arabic and I can only assume that is because of Orr being next to the Crystal Desert, which has actual mixes of Arabic elements in many corners of the game. Why do I know this? Because I have an Arab father, and I was raised in the Middle East as a muslim in an Arabic school.
When I was doing map completion yesterday on Henri, I noticed how some points of interests in Orr had ‘Al’ in them, and I immediately assumed it would be gibberish since that is all I find in western made media when it comes to anything ‘exotic’. Bring some sound, put ‘al’ in front of it, and voilà, you have ‘Arabic’ in your media. But no, I reread the names and realized that they actually have a translation, since the team actually written in a way that you can guess how it’s read in Arabic if you’re a native or have experience in native Arabic environments.
I will list all points of interests in Orr that I found that have Arabic and the most likely meant translation (as an Arabic speaker myself):
• Izz-al-Din Sarayi
With the context surrounding Orr’s lore and the Human lore + Charr/Human lore, this can very much be ‘عز الدين صراعي’. It’s a very blotchy sentence since it’s grammatically incorrect, but it basically means ‘I fight with pride for my religion’, ‘I battle with pride for my religion’. It makes sense because Humans are very religious in GW2, and Orr is even more so, while Charr denounce higher power and think Humans for shit. And they had a battle on Orr. BOOM.
• Din al-Jindi
This is a very clear one, words used in Arabic lessons a lot to form simple sentences. ‘دين الجندي’ which means ‘The soldier’s religion’.
• Bakkir Sarayi
Sounds like ‘بكّر صراعي’ or ‘بكير صراعي’, which sounds like ‘Early Battle’ in both. One’s just traditional and the other’s Lebanese dialect.
• Several PoIs in Malchor’s Leap having ‘Bayt’ in them
Which is just like the Grove having ‘House of Caithe’, ‘House of Niamh’ and so on. It’s again, grammatically incorrect, but Bayt means house or home. They even used Arabic names with them, but in wrong order. Still, to me this is like a very big thing.
• Zho'qafa Catacombs area
Sounds like ‘ذو كفه’ which is like ‘with his palms’, or could be with his stance, several different possibilities.
This may seem like a far reach for representation to some people, but these make sense, they mean something, so it can’t be a coincidence. I’m just happy Arabic was acknowledged in some way instead of the fake Arabic they use in media to make it seem ‘exotic’ or made as a parody.
Weeeeooooeeeeooooo
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transmascissues · 10 months
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i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.
first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.
(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)
i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.
and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.
and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.
i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.
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unclewaynemunson · 1 year
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Pt3 to the Wingman Wayne AU | AO3 link
Eddie knows he was right as soon as he sees Steve: the guy is wearing Levi jeans and a dark-blue polo shirt, and if it wasn't for his tinted chapstick, he would have the appearance of the single most boring straight jock in the universe. He notices how Steve's brown eyes flash up and down Eddie's whole body before fixing back on his face again.
He snorts. 'Told you I'm nothing like my uncle.'
'Yeah, you definitely weren't lying,' Steve comments dryly, and Eddie can't help but laugh.
'You still wanna get that coffee or do you prefer to run the hell away from the freak now that you still can?' he asks while wiggling his eyebrows.
'Hey, you won't hear me complain about a free coffee,' Steve says, already holding the door to the cafe open for Eddie like a gentleman who is taking some perfectly girly girl out on a date.
They get their coffees and sit down at a table next to the window, and Eddie wonders what the hell he should be talking about with this guy he so painfully clearly has nothing in common with.
'So you're into baseball?' he asks – it's basically the only thing he knows about Steve and it seems like a safe enough conversation starter.
Steve nods. 'Yeah, back in high school I used to play basketball and I was on the swimming team, so I never really got to train my baseball skills much, but I really enjoy watching. It's one of those sports that always has you, like, on the edge of your seat, you know?'
Eddie snorts. 'I do not.'
'Not a sports guy?'
'Nope.'
Eddie picks up his coffee cup and blows into the steam, just to give himself something to do; the silence between them feels awkward.
'So what are you into?' Steve asks.
'Um... I'm in a band. Metal.'
Steve nods, a blank look in his eyes – of course he cares just as little about metal as Eddie cares about sports.
'And I play D&D.'
He expects another blank look, or – best case scenario – a confused What's that? which will at least help him keep the conversation going for another few minutes, but to his utter surprise, he sees Steve's brown eyes light up.
'I know that!' It sounds like Steve is even surprising himself with that, which is oddly cute, somehow. 'My brother's like, obsessed with that shit.'
'Really?'
'Yeah, I mean, he isn't actually my brother – he's, like, my ex-girlfriend's little brother's friend, I used to babysit them all the time.' He suddenly stops, as if he's embarrassed by himself. 'I'm sorry, that probably sounded really weird.'
But Eddie grins at him. I like weird, he almost says, but he realizes just in time how that might sound and stops himself.
'Nah, not really,' he says instead. 'It's not like this is an actual date, so you're allowed to talk about your ex-girlfriend as much as you want.'
'I don't –' A blush starts coloring Steve's cheeks as he closes his mouth, then opens it again. 'That's not why I brought her up,' he finally says.
'So are you bisexual?' Eddie asks, suddenly finding himself curious about Steve's story.
Steve shrugs. 'Yeah, I guess,' he says, like he doesn't care much about it. 'I was surprised how your uncle could tell, actually.'
Eddie leans closer towards him. 'It's the lips,' he stage-whispers conspiratorially.
A frown appears between Steve's eyebrows. 'You know, I never really understood that,' he says. 'Why are girls supposed to wear a whole face full of makeup and do I get weird stares because I like to give my lips a subtle glow? What's that all about? Who even made those rules?'
Eddie feels a huge grin spread across his face. Who would've thought that Steve the baseball guy would be so fucking fascinating?
'I dunno, you tell me,' Eddie answers. He glances at Steve's polo. 'By the looks of it, you know much more about that forced conforming shit than I do.'
'You're really lucky with your uncle, you know,' Steve says. 'I could tell he cares about you a lot. It's pretty amazing how supportive he is.'
Suddenly, Eddie is feeling exposed by the intensity of Steve's brown-eyed stare. He averts his gaze and takes the last sip of his coffee.
'Yeah, I know,' he says, quietly. 'He's pretty awesome. But a terrible matchmaker.' He smiles as he looks into Steve's eyes again.
Steve chuckles. 'Totally. Well, I finished my coffee, so we can get outta here and you can go tell your uncle he should never play wingman for you again. Just make sure to also say hi to him from me. And maybe thank him for landing me that free drink.'
'Actually...' Eddie hesitates. 'You're still totally not my type, don't worry about that, but it's actually nice to talk to another queer person, you know? There's not that many of us around here. So if you want to, I could give you another free coffee?'
There's something adorably shy about Steve's smile. 'Yeah, that – that sounds great.'
Pt4
My apologies to everyone being all excited about Eddie instantly falling in love with Steve the moment he saw him, I gotta make them suffer some more first ;P Also, all your comments and tags are making me ridiculously happy, honestly!! I’m kinda overwhelmed by the response, and yes i am going back to read them multiple times bc that’s how lovely they are <333
Taglist: @phantypurple @love-kurdt @eddiemunsonswife @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @swimmingbirdrunningrock @paintsplatteredandimperfect @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @yourebuckingkiddingme @th3-r4t-k1ng @messrs-weasley @moonshadows-13 @im-sam-fucking-winchester @xjessicafaithx @yournowheregirl @henderdads @lwhoscribbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @rainydays35  @cassaloopa @skeliiix @thesuninyaface @silversnaffles @jestyzesty @4nemo1egend @ace-of-foxes @harringtonsgother @thegingervulcan @snapshotmaestro @thereindeerlady @jillfriend @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @gamerdano @spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @00biscuit @shadow-bender @mixsethaddams @steve-the-hairrington @episcogoth @caligularib @gaydrieeen @winterbuckwild @bookbinderbitch @daysarestranger @nonbinary-eddie-munson @fangirltofangod @solalasoforth @obsessivlyme @slit-wrist @fxndom-hoe @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @joruni @roastingdragon @lenore1232 @princessstevemunson @cuips-not-cute @munsonsuccubus @justalittlefungi @cherrycolas-things @nitrilexam @thepainisspicy @hopefulslothcollecter @whatisreggieshortfor @doctorqueensanatomy @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sadcanadianwinter @iamsotiredman @orangeandthefairroadkill @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @b-icetea @freddykicksasses @faery-god @poleaxed-aloe @mamaclownhunter @paperbackribs @blvckwidow @mightbeasleep @butuglypeoplefucktoo @lolawon @angryavocadofrog @iwouldsail @livelaughlexa
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yunarim · 11 months
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Can I please request Leona and Malleus finding out that the fem!reader is a princess back in her world and she never told them?
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★﹒﹒TELL ME PRINCESS now when did you last let your heart decide
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「 ☆ synopsis 」 — leona and malleus finding out that reader is a princess back in her world 「 ☆ tags 」 — female reader (she/her), book 2 spoilers, mentions of book 5 (very slight mention of VDC), implied strict education that reader received in her world
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— ✧ LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
He suspected it from the start, right from the day you ended up transmigrating into Twisted Wonderland. Your posture and the look your eyes possess told him you’re not just as unremarkable as someone could say. 
Leona doesn’t have time to observe you but when you two cross your paths, he notices something in the way you tilt your head in a greeting way. 
The more he talks to you, the more he notices how different you are compared to other students whose roots have nothing to do with royal blood. He figured it out himself while you two were having a chat regarding the political system in Afterglow Savannah and he noticed how knowledgeable you were. 
He wondered if you received proper education at first since the way you talked about how women are treated in your world wasn’t familiar to him. What do you mean princesses in your world are usually used as a political instrument and get married against their will? That is also the first time he wonders how you would perform if you would become part of the Kingscholar family and you teasingly ask him what made him grin so proudly.
Final round of realizing and making a conclusion came when you mentioned VDC and told him you’re assisting Vil with teaching first years how to dance. Leona just smirked and said that it’s obvious you’re the one who helps him. You asked him what he meant by that and he said it’s quite obvious by now that you belong to a royal family. 
You became more open about what concerns you in the princess training system, education, correcting your attitude all the time… Leona let you speak out, accepting all your struggles. You can be free around him, he doesn’t mind you being you. 
He doesn’t want to put any pressure on you but one day just mentions you would be a perfect match with how he comes from a family where women are respected and you possess royal status, coming from another dimension. 
You being a princess doesn’t change his opinion about you or doesn’t correct his behavior around you, actually there’s nothing that could stop him from sleeping on your lap. And you finally can catch a break and be yourself, not caring about your status.
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— ✧ MALLEUS DRACONIA
It takes a while for Malleus to realize. He doesn’t communicate with human royalty, let alone humans in general. Your first encounter seems normal to him and he thinks of you as someone extremely polite. 
You can tell he belongs to royalty the very first second you see him outside of Ramshackle, but decide to fool around just a little, guessing how long it would take for him to realize. 
Malleus asks you if all the humans in your world are this polite and knowledgeable or is it just you. You grin mysteriously, letting him decide, enjoying the tea you brew. Malleus often mentions how frightened you would be if you find out who he is, but you don’t really seem to care about his status, which is surprising to him. Child of man, you seem to possess no fear. 
During late night strolls you often take with Malleus, he talks about gargoyles and you seem to eagerly ask him more questions about them. One day he asked how royal families work in your world, and he was puzzled at first. Humans are strange creatures, indeed… 
The first time he questioned your lineage was when he asked what children of man do in their free time. A quick bewildered glance you throw at him was enough to say you’re just as confused as he is. You chuckled softly, answering with something vague and common. 
It’s Lilia who tells him that you most definitely belong to royalty in your world. Malleus's eyes widens and he’s eager to know why he came to such a conclusion and Lilia casually drops that people don’t usually salute each other with a curtsy or at least a bow. 
Next day Malleus asks you if you’re not opposed to the idea of dancing with him since the weather is quite nice, and the starry sky is absolutely magnificent. You accept without any objections, and he notices how naturally you waltz. 
By the time the waltz ends, he doesn’t want to let you go and asks you if you belong to a royal family, meeting with your soft giggle. “Took you long to realize” you say, nodding to him politely. 
It’s not like he’s being friends with many humans, so there’s no actual difference between how you communicated before he realized and now. The only thing that changed is that now he invites you to Briar Valley with more confidence than before. Don’t get him wrong, he’s absolutely in love with you (even if he hasn’t realized it yet), but he wonders if you would be okay with encountering Briar Valley’s customs and, of course, his grandmother. 
He’s not pressuring (it’s more likely Lilia who wants to see you two finally ending up dating), but he finds himself thinking about what a great queen you would become, ruling Briar Valley with him before he falls asleep, awaiting your next meeting.
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© yunarim 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.
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cupids-scream-queen · 6 months
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A Little Murderess °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・❀*
❀ female!murderer!reader x poly!ghostface ❀
Part 6 // 3.5k words
-> Part 5
Warnings: stalking, breaking and entering, graphic descriptions of murder, homophobic slur (once), details of dismemberment.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・❀*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
Summary: You've just moved to a new town after the death of your little brother and stepfather with your mother. You're not ashamed of what you do to cope with the deaths; especially when you make two new friends who you might have more in common with than you thought...
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・❀*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
He hadn’t called. He apologized for it at school, telling you that Sidney called, and keeping up appearances, he couldn’t leave her hanging. He told you he’d come by tonight, or perhaps call, but to keep an eye and ear out for him. You promised you would.
The first time your phone rang after Billy left was Tatum, confirming your presence at her house on Friday night—two days away. Agreeing, you wrote down her address, and wrote down a shopping list of supplies you’d need to have in order for it to be, in Tatum’s own words, a successful sleepover. A list including alcohol, weed, and nearly every movie with Tom Cruise in it.
The second time your phone rang was Ghostface, though you weren’t quite sure which one it was at first. The tone was dull and inviting, which initially led you to believe it was Billy, but one key detail led you to correctly guessing Stu—the slang.
“Dammit, he was right,” The voice changer off, Stu was clearly upset. “I guess I do have a way of talking.”
“Everyone does, Stu, it’s called dialect,” You tell him, but he ignores you, continuing to rant about how he doesn’t understand that people can figure out who you are based on what kind of language you use, or how you use it. “It’s kind of like how different actors can play different roles without coming across as the same person. It’s how people speak.”
“So like, how Johnny Depp is in fucking…Edward Scissorhands, and is also in Freddy’s Dead?”
“Kind of. You don’t think of Edward when you’re watching Glen on screen, do you?”
“No, I just see the character.”
“Exactly, it’s because the characters are fundamentally different from one another. You and Billy may operate on the same wavelength, but you two still have characteristics that make y’all unique.”
“Oh. I got it,” You giggled, and Stu joined in for a second. “Sorry, I’m kind of stupid.”
“Is that what Stu stands for?” You teased, and you could practically feel Stu’s comeback.
“No, it stands for Smart Terrific Unit,” He confidently confided. “And it means my parents definitely love me.”
“Do they have resentment towards you or something?”
“A bit, yeah. Ever since my younger sister died. My older siblings moved out of the house, and they kind of distanced themselves from it, too. They didn’t want to be home, they didn’t want to be near me.”
“Was her death your fault?”
“Not really, no. I was just being a negligent older brother, that’s all,” Stu chuckled a bit, but you knew it sounded kind of sad. You hadn’t realized that Stu had actually had to deal with death before, death with someone that he loved.
“My brother died,” You confided. “Not too long ago. And my stepfather. My biological father killed both of them, and then my mother shot him in self-defense.”
“Is that why you started…?”
“Yes, it is. As a form of control more than anything. I guess I just was tired of feeling powerless, so I started to take the power away from people, even if they had nearly nothing. It made me feel better, and it still does. I’m not sorry for it,” You tell him, and you could tell that this was the sort of conversation Stu hadn’t had in a very, very long time.
“So does that mean you won’t stop?”
“I don’t know,” You confessed. “I might, I might not. Not right now, that’s for sure, but once I’m older…who knows? I might become the world’s most prolific serial killer.”
“Naw, that’s the title Billy and I are after. Ghostface is gonna rule the world.” Billy and him. The terrific two. The dynamic duo. The terrifying twins. They weren’t including you in their plans. You felt something like sadness. “What if I joined in?”
“What, you start killing like us? Wearin’ the mask and shit?”
“Yeah, just for a few kills. What if we start planning massive kills, together, and confuse crowds? It’s not like we’re going to get caught if we’re careful.”
“We’d have to run it by Billy, the dickwad likes to control everything,” Stu laughed, and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Maybe this weekend after the Slumber Party Massacre?”
“Sure, we’ll run it by him. I don’t see the harm in that—but there’s gonna be harm later.”
“Are you excited to kill Tatum? Do you have a motive?”
“Not really—just peer pressure. I’m far too sensitive. She’s also a bitch and a whore—she cares too much about her appearance and reputation to be anything other than a shallow cunt.”
“Why date her?”
“Get close to Sid and ‘em. Y’know that’s who we’re after, right? Sid. Tatum’s murder is just gonna be because she’s friends with the wrong kind of people.”
“What are we gonna do with Randy?” “Randy?” Stu mused. “Billy’s got something in mind for him. I guess Bill doesn’t like how close Randy’s gotten to you, and if I’m being honest, I don’t either.”
“Oh? What do you mean?”
“He looks at you like you’re a goddamn fleshlight,” Stu deadpanned, his tone flat. “And I, personally, do not like it.”
“Is there any reason?” You twirled the phone cord around your finger, liking the way this conversation was going.
“If there was, I’m not telling you,” Stu said decidedly. You decided you wouldn’t push him to answer you—if Billy’s display to you earlier was anything to go off of, both killers had a particular spot in their hearts for you, and you were going to use that to your advantage, even if you knew, deep down, you had feelings for them as well.
“Ah. Well, Billy said he’d call me tonight, and I guess I kind of owe him that,” You tell him, and you could sense Stu’s tension.
“Why not just meet up with both of us tonight?” He asked, and you had to stifle a laugh.
“My mom would fucking slaughter me,” You tell him, and he kind of made a small whining noise at the other end of the phone. “If you want, you can come over.”
“I might take you up for that,” Stu said, and you weren’t sure if he was entirely joking. “Might even bring Billy.”
“And what would we even do? Plan a murder?”
“Pay our pal Randy a little visit.”
•❃°•°❀°•°❃•
It was nearly a quarter to one in the morning when you, Billy, and Stu finally all met up at your house. Billy brought the famed ladder, and he and Stu climbed up to your window, where you let them in. This time, both of the boys brought bookbags filled with things you knew were instruments to aid their destruction. You had the same thing as well.
“As you know, Stu and I are Ghostface,” Billy began, and Stu looked like he was trying to stop himself from laughing. “And you’re going to become one of us.”
“Is this a fucking cult?” You playfully asked, and Billy hushed you.
“Now, you’re going to prove yourself to Stu and I tonight. Randy’s home alone, and will be for the next three days. Tonight, you will go and kill Randy, by methods Stu and I employed to Casey and her boyfriend. If the murder is successful, you’ll be allowed to wear one of these,” Billy pulled a mask out of the bag, and another identical one. Stu took out his mask, and started aiming it around like a slingshot. “Don’t dick off with those, Stu, I don’t know if I can find other ones.”
“Lighten up, they’re like five bucks a pop,” He aimed it at Billy and let go, but surprisingly, Billy caught it.
“You’ve lost mask privileges tonight, Stuart,” Billy said, pocketing the mask. “Anyways, you’re going to kill Randy, and we’re going to guide you through what to do. These ain’t your normal killings, they’re fun, gruesome, and belong in a movie of their very own.”
“In other words, you’re Michael Myers wannabes with a phone connection?”
“No—we’re artists,” Stu collapsed on your bed, his shoes on your comforter. You held your tongue from saying anything, even though you wanted to scream at him to get off your bed with his musty crusty dusty ass shoes on it.
“Okay, so what? Am I going to prank call Randy, freak him out, torture him, chase him around a bit, cut him up, scare him to death, then stab him and take his organs out and hang them on the clothesline?”
“Something like that, sure,” Billy eyed you, not suspiciously, but carefully. Wondering to see how you’d fair tonight. He knew you weren’t an amater killer, hell, you’ve done it more times than he and Stu. But he knew yours lacked fanfare. Yours lacked style. You were a teenager with a knife, they were teenagers with a cunning plan. And now you were involved in this plan, and he wanted to see if you were capable of doing your duty and making this plan succeed.
“We’ll start heading out a two, I want to kill him at roughly three-thirty,” You suggested, and the two of them nodded. “What do you want to do in the meantime?”
“Get to know you better, babe,” Stu slung his arm around you jokingly, but surprisingly to him, you didn’t move. You watched Billy carefully as you did this, noticing the peculiar glance in his eyes that made you realize that perhaps, Billy had feelings for multiple people in your bedroom.
“We could watch a movie,” You offered, and Billy shook his head.
“Nothing interesting. You’d put on some fucked up 20’s movie knowing you,” He clicked his tongue twice, indicating that he’d thought of something. “What about we play spin the bottle?”
“There’s three of us, that’s a party game,” You pointed out, giggling. Stu nudged you, indicating that you should shut up, or perhaps suggest something different that didn’t involve kissing. “Truth or dare?”
“That’s a girl’s game,” Stu wrinkled his nose in disgust, moving his arm from you. He got up, and trodded towards Billy, and flung his arms around him. “We’re men.”
“You’re a fag,” Billy deadpanned, but he didn’t move. Stu hung off of him like a deadweight, yet Billy did not attempt to remove the boy. You curiously stared at them.
“Maybe we could bake?”
“Isn’t your mother home?” Billy asked, and you shook your head.
“You two suck at stalking. She’s gone tonight, she’s out with some dude. I don’t know who he is, though, and quite frankly don’t care. She’s out of my shit and I stay far away from hers.”
“We kind of gave up on you,” Stu admitted, and Billy hit him in the back of the head.
“Don’t admit shit like that, idiot,” Billy said. He turned towards you. “Don’t worry about him, doll. He’s just a little talkative when there’s murder in the room.”
“Right. Well, wanna see my knife collection?” You offered, and the boys looked like they’d just won the lottery.
“Hell yes!” Stu lept up from his sulking place, and ran over to your side. Billy joined you two as you opened the doors of your closet, revealing two swords hung up on the wall, and a bin full of knives, all with their sheaths on.
“Holy fuck.”
“You really are the Knife Girl,” Billy said, his tongue in his cheek. You hadn’t seen the expression on the boy’s faces before, but you assumed it was as close to pure joy as they could feel.
“No shit, I didn’t get that nickname for nothing,” You stepped away, letting them look at the blades in awe. “I don’t kill with the majority of those.” They didn’t seem to care, though. You watched as they took blade after blade, finding the ones that best suited their hands, finding the ones that were pretty or sharpest or the ones that you most liked. They found your murder blades, the knife they got you, and all sorts of other sharp objects. They liked it. You could tell this was an intimate moment for the three of you.
•❃°•°❀°•°❃•
Three rapidly approached, and the three of you had to start moving to Randy’s house for that night’s murder. Dressed in the Ghostface gear, you clumsily went down the ladder, nearly tripping at a few parts. The long robes of the killer costume was a tripping hazard, and you briefly wondered why they hadn’t mentioned it, until you remembered you were using Stu’s robes, and he was nearly a foot taller than you. It wasn’t a hazard for them.
You crept through the night, joining the boys in the backseat of Stu’s car, and started your drive to Randy’s. The car was silent, but the boys were in their element, though nobody dared to speak a word. Everyone knew the familiar buzz you’d get before you took a life. It was something that was addicting, and you knew it with every bone in your body. You relished the feeling of taking life, and you knew that Billy and Stu felt the exact same way.
You pulled up to the house, which was a small two-story one situated on top of a hill. The flowerbeds were neat and tidy, the house a light white color. The front porch lights were on, and you could see the light on in what you assumed to be Randy’s room.
“Call him,” Stu whispered, handing you the phone. You dialed Randy’s number, surprised that you remembered it at all. “And make sure the voice changer is on.”
You did as you were told, and began your speech to make Randy afraid. Terrified. You could hear his amusement at first, when you asked him his favorite horror movie. You could hear the first tremblings of his breathing when you asked if his bedroom was the one with the light on. You could hear the pounding of his heart as you knocked on the back door, and you could hear how he was absolutely afraid when you, Billy, and Stu knocked from different entrances.
“Get the fuck away from my house,” Randy’s voice was shaky, and you knew you struck a chord with him. “Get the fuck away before you get hurt.”
“Funny thing to say when you’re the one who wants to die.” You taunted, and threw a rock at the window, breaking it. You could hear the yelp on Randy’s end even without the phone. “Randy, do you want to play a game?”
“What the fuck do you want man—what the fuck,” Randy’s desperate pleas on the other end excited you, made you drunk with power. You were in control of the variables here. And Billy and Stu were here to guide you.
“Play a game with me, Randy,” You hear him move in the house, grabbing a kitchen knife. If there was any chance of getting injured, you knew Billy or Stu would step in. They didn’t want to see you get hurt. “Let’s play hide and go seek. If I find you, you die. I’ll count to…hm, let’s see. Is forty seconds enough? Yes, I’ll count to forty seconds. If you hide and I do not find you, you win. If I find you, you’re dead.”
“What the hell,” You could hear Randy crying at the other end, but you didn’t care. You enjoyed this with every fiber of your being, and you wanted to keep this going as long as possible. Stu looked at you, and slipped his mask on. Part two of the plan.
Randy stood no chance of surviving. Realistically, there were far too many of you and only one of him, and he had no experience with anything of this caliber before. One of you would enter the house through each of the entrances, and once you found Randy, you were to whoop or holler or make some kind of noise to alert the others. Once the others are alerted, the three of you are to kill Randy at once, a frenzy of attack.
The third part of the plan was stringing his insides out on the clothing line. This was your added touch, a small detail of gruesome carnage that made Billy swear he would have kissed you right there and then.
You had the front door, and you carefully went inside. The house was still, silent. You paid attention to try and hear any breathing. There weren’t many hiding spots, and you knew Randy might’ve gotten creative. You prayed that one of the boys found where Randy was.
Luck was not on your side. You whooped as you spotted Randy ducked behind a couch, and the two other whoops let you know they were on their way. Scuttling out from behind the couch, Randy tried to attack you with a knife, but you tripped him, causing him to fall. The knife fell from his grip, and you kicked it away from his reach.
Your knife went down on him nearly at once, right in the shoulder blade. Deep. It was joined by a second knife, Billy’s, which was aimed at the back of his neck. Stu was only a few seconds later, plunging his knife into the other shoulder. You started to take your knife out, twisting as you went, Randy’s screams and cries of horror and pain motivating you to do more. You started to stab at his back, hearing the cracking of his ribs encouraged you to do more. Still alive, you heard Randy’s breathing take a sharp inhale as you stepped on his back with all of your strength, lodging your knife deeper within his body. Billy tapped you on the shoulder. Phase three.
You took your knife out of Randy, which took some effort, and you and Stu flipped him over. Randy was still alive, barely moving as Stu undressed him. Completely naked, Randy’s eyes were like a deer’s as Billy placed his knife right above a nest of pubic hair, but then stopped, and looked at you, as if to tell you that this was going to be your kill. You put your knife where Billy’s was just moments ago, relishing the feeling of having someone under your mercy like this. The boys watched as you slowly started to carve your way through Randy’s body, and Randy started to move his arms down to stop you. Billy and Stu lodged their knives in his arms, trapping him to the floor. You made a cut across Randy’s body, and then made the killing blow: ripping his throat out, leaving the blood splatter to the floor. Upon the death of Randy, Billy was the first to speak.
“Do you want to gut him or will Stu and I?”
“I’d like to help,” You said, already starting to poke around in the chest cavity with your blade. “After all, doing laundry is a woman’s job.”
“Spoken like a real one,” Stu joked, and joined you with poking in Randy’s body. You two cut out his stomach and intestines, and handed them to Billy, who put them in a yellow laundry basket that he found upstairs while you were searching for Randy just moments before. Various parts of Randy made it in the basket, including his heart, but Billy took it out of the basket.
“We should leave this in his parent’s room, don’t you think?” The grin on his face was sinister, and you nodded alongside Stu. Billy chuckled, putting the basket on the floor. “Finish gutting him. I’m going to set up a surprise for the happy couple.”
You and Stu did as you were told, finishing emptying Randy’s body. You weren’t sure of their plan with the main body, just that your job was now in action. Stu finished up, placing the last organ in the basket. You stood up, shaking the blood off of your robes and taking the basket to the backyard, where you hung them up with clothespins.
Stu, meanwhile, was carefully arranging a flower display in the corpse of Randy. He was giggling as he did this, moving the body to lay on the couch, and adding the displays of flowers Randy’s mother kept around the house in the chest cavity.
Billy was upstairs, arranging Randy’s heart on a silver platter, with a fork and a knife on either side of the plate. He joined the two of you downstairs, inspecting the handiwork.
“I think we’ve got ourselves a new partner,” Billy said, watching you hang the intestines up. “She’s good.”
“I like her,” Stu said, giving Billy a small kiss on the cheek. Billy nodded, and placed one on Stu’s forehead. “She’s got balls.”
“She’s going to need them for Friday’s murder,” Billy stepped outside. “We’re going to go, alright?”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” You grinned at them, and the three of you went in the car, taking the stuffy robes off. You weren’t quite sure how Tatum or Sidney would react to the death of Randy, but you sure as hell were looking forward to the publicity of the body. Your handiwork was going to be on television. A dream come true for a girl like you.
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-> Part 7
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heart4gyu · 1 year
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teach you pt.2 || heeseung x reader
note: 18+ minors dni!! very suggestive && wayyy more than just kissing in this one!! [pt.1] so i took some advice from the last part hope you all like it !! i started this off and i rly liked it but towards the end idkk (i also haven’t proofread but i’m so tired Zzz)… lmk what you think anything is appreciated ^_^ enjoyyy & gn <33
wc: 2,361 words
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you aren’t really sure why you left so abruptly that night. you could’ve kept going, just like heeseung wanted you to. you could’ve made him forget all about her, all about that date. but you didn’t, you couldn’t. you couldn’t stand the thought of ruining him.
but now you kind of regretted it. you couldn’t stand the thought of her having him all to herself even more. she didn’t deserve him. he was sweet and gentle, always looking out for others. she didn’t know that, all she knew was that he could help her get a good grade.
but maybe the real reason you left him there that night was because you don’t deserve him either. he didn’t call or text you the rest of the weekend so you just assumed his date went well. as mush as you hoped it didn’t…
you and heeseung had a psychology project that you were working on together. so he texted you to meet up with him at his dorm to work on it after class. he wasn’t really much of a texter, so you figured you’d just ask him about his date when you got there.
once your last class ended, you made your way to his dorm. it was around 4 pm when you got there, and he was prepared. he had all his supplies laid out on the small coffee table in front of the couch and a bag full of snacks for you to share.
“so i’m guessing you plan on finishing the whole project tonight,” you said. the project wasn’t due for another week or so but if you knew anything about heeseung, it’s that he hates procrastinating.
“yup, so you might want to make yourself comfortable,” he said, sitting on the couch and patting the spot next to him.
about two hours had passed of you two really getting a lot of work done. you divided the work into two and discussed anything you needed help on. if it was anyone else, you wouldn’t have done a thing but he was a really great project partner so you didn’t want to let him down.
“alright i finished the third slide, i’m taking a break,” you said, getting up to throw away some of the trash that had piled up on the table.
when you came back heeseung’s computer was no longer on his lap and he was sitting back watching whatever movie had been playing in the background. “you never told me how your date went,” you said, as you walked back in the room and sat beside him on the couch.
“well it honestly didn’t go as i expected,” he said, laughing humorlessly. “what do you mean? what happened?” you said, turning to face him and giving your undivided attention.
“we went to the movies so we didn’t have to talk much but afterwards when i walked her home, i realized we had nothing in common,” he said, looking down at his hands that were fidgeting, of course. you felt relieved but you tried not to let it show too much. “and she did try to kiss me, but i couldn’t,” he said, looking over at you only for a second.
“what? why? you did really good when we practiced,” you said, wanting to encourage him in case he felt disappointed. “i- i know, i actually felt really confident after you helped me but… i don’t know, i-,” he stopped, a flush beginning to dust his cheeks.
“it’s okay, you can tell me,” you said, knowing he had something he wanted to get off his chest. you could always tell when he had something on his mind.
“i just- i couldn’t… i couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he said, looking over at you, hesitantly.
you swear your heart skipped a beat. “why me? you’ve been crushing on her since the moment she first talked to you,” you said, really not expecting this at all.
“i don’t know, i was just as confused as you are. but the more i thought of it, the more it made sense,” he said, scooting just a couple inches closer to you.
“y/n, you’re the one that’s always there for me when i need encouragement or advice on anything. you’re always nice to me and looking out for me when i don’t make the best decisions. it’s always you. so i couldn’t kiss her because all i could think about is how much i wanted it to be you,” he said, leaving you speechless.
never had a guy made you feel like this just from telling you how he felt. your heart was beating fast and you almost felt like you wanted to cry. you felt such relief that you couldn’t contain it as you smiled down at your lap, touching over your cheeks with your cool hands.
“and if you don’t mind, i’d really like for you to kiss me again,” he said, his puppy eyes pulling you in just like last time. how could you ever say no to him.
“okay but if i do this won’t be practice anymore,” you said, leaning into his space. you weren’t as good with your words as him but you hoped he understood that you wanted him as much as he wanted you.
“i don’t want it to be,” he said, sitting back on the couch as you climbed over his lap. you smiled at his words but he was already too far gone to return it as you hovered over him.
he was breathing heavy and his hands dug into the couch as if he was scared to touch you. you kissed the corner of his mouth as you took his hands and placed them on your waist.
he gulped when you finally leaned in to kiss him. and it was perfect, feeling his lips on yours again.
you didn’t go slowly this time, when he parted his lips you immediately let your tongue push into his mouth. just like last time, he gasped, but this time it was somehow a bit more desperate.
he moved his tongue with yours right away as you kissed him. you placed a hand on his chest as the other combed through his hair.
you gave the hair at the back of his head a tug and sucked on his tongue making him moan. and it was the best thing you’d ever heard, you’d never heard anything like it.
you noticed his hands gripping onto your shirt tightly and he was shifting his hips beneath you. you could see the growing bulge in his sweats and from his heavy breathing you could tell he needed some friction.
you kissed him some more, really enjoying how good he was getting at it.
you knew he probably wouldn’t be able to handle it but you also really needed to feel something in between your legs.
so you sat yourself down on his bulge and through the thin layers of both your sweatpants, it was pure ecstasy.
he broke away from the kiss just to gasp and hiss at the feeling. you figured he’s just never felt anything like this. it was cute.
you placed a hand on his cheek, making him look you in your eyes as you continued to grind down on him. he shut his eyes tightly as he kept moaning, when you suddenly came to a stop.
“y/n no please, i can’t,” he whined, trying to thrust his hips up into you but you pulled away further.
“what? you can’t what baby?” you said, kissing him again, making him moan into your mouth at the pet name.
“i can’t take it, i need you to keep going,” he said, and he already looked so fucked out. he was sweating, his lips were so red and swollen, and his chest was heaving.
you smirked, thinking about how you could probably make him come in his pants right now, untouched. but that’s too mean, and you couldn’t stand teasing him anymore.
you attached your lips to his and sat back down gently this time. you moved your hips back and forth slowly, letting him whine into your mouth.
he was trying his best to move his tongue against yours but he was completely overwhelmed. all he could do was moan into your mouth and try to match the pace of your hips grinding against his.
when you picked up the pace, he sobbed into your mouth and you pulled away to see tears at the corners of his eyes. you leaned down and kissed the tears away then kissed down to his neck, sucking and marking the skin there.
finally you felt his hands grip onto your waist but what you didn’t expect was for him to push you further down onto his clothed cock.
and now it was your turn to moan for him as he moved your hips in a circular motion over him. you kissed him again as you felt a knot begin to form in your stomach.
the kiss was messy as he bucked his hips up into you. your hands began to wander down his chest, and he flinched when your fingers came into contact with the skin under his shirt.
you continued to kiss him as you felt him up, he didn’t really have defined abs but you honestly preferred it. you felt all the way up to his chest and he let out a groan when your fingers brushed past his nipples.
you smiled into the kiss, and pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes. he looked at you curiously before you dropped your hands back down to the hem of his sweatpants.
“can i?” you asked, and his eyes went wide. “y-yes, please,” he said, nodding his head. so cute.
he watched, nervously, as you slid your hand into his pants and past his underwear. you took hold of his cock and stroked it a few times, getting a feel of his size.
it honestly made you shiver how nice his size was, but you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself. he definitely wasn’t ready for everything that you had in mind so you stuck to jerking him off in his pants.
his whines and moans were really indescribable, they were breathy and pretty high pitched. and you found that you liked kissing him while he made those pretty sounds because it only amplified them.
so you kissed him as you continued to stroke his cock and he kept whining into your mouth. but his head fell back onto the cushions when you swiped your thumb over his slit, spreading the precum all over his cock. he groaned loudly, squeezing his eyes shut. the grip his hands had on your thighs was sure to leave bruises.
“fuck,” he breathed out, “please don’t stop, i’m gonna come.” you were starting to get the appeal of guys begging.
with his head still leaned back, you started sucking a couple more bruises onto his neck and collar bones. you took the tip of his cock out of his sweatpants and rubbed circles at the tip while grinding your hips against his again.
his head shot up and landed on your shoulder at the new sensation. he just let out moan after moan, gradually becoming louder.
you knew he was close by the way his cock twitched and his stomach was contracting. his cock leaking more and more as the seconds passed.
“please, i’m- uhhh god i’m gonna come-,” he said, barely able to get the sentence out with how much he was crying and moaning.
just as you were about to pick up your pace for the final time, you heard it. a key being pushed into the lock of the front door and you both scattered.
you got up off of him quickly and adjusted your clothes and hair. and heeseung put himself back into his pants, both breathing heavily as the door opened and his roommate walked in.
“oh hey guys,” he said, turning his back to shut the door, “hope i wasn’t interrupting anything.” he was only teasing but the longer he stood there with no response from the two of you the more evident it became.
he laughed loudly as he stared at the two of you, blushing on the couch. “jake get out! go! go to your room!” heeseung yelled, throwing a pillow at the back of his head as he ran away, still giggling like a teenager.
heeseung threw his head back onto the couch and covered his face with his hands after jake’s door was shut. “oh my goddd, i hate him,” he said, into his hands.
and you laughed, lightheartedly, at probably the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you in a while.
“on the bright side, at least he didn’t technically see anything,” you said, and he out his hands down with a sigh. “but he probably could hear you down the hall with how loud you were,” you said, teasingly.
heeseung groaned loudly, the embarrassment being too much for him. you laughed again and reached over for his hand. you intertwined your fingers and kissed his knuckles.
“you wanna walk me out this time?” you asked, and he nodded, defeatedly. he got up and walked you to the door, still holding your hand.
as you were about to step out of the door, he pulled you back in quickly by the waist. “wait, just one more kiss? i’ve been through so much tonight,” he said, an exaggerated pout on his lips.
“oh my poor baby,” you said, the nickname making him weak in the knees. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, kissing him just one more time.
one more kiss. just one that lasted a little well over a minute. when you pulled away, he groaned and complained but you were already walking away.
“text me hee,” you said over your shoulder, as you walked down the hall.
“of course, and hey, maybe you can come over and study or practice again tomorrow,” he said, shrugging his shoulders when you turned to roll your eyes at him.
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liu-anhuaming · 2 months
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all my mandarin dictionaries (and dictionary-adjacent books)
Through chatting with @don-dake and @cherrymintvampyyri, I've come to realize that I might own a less than normal number of Mandarin dictionaries. So, here's a post about all of them.
I do have two basic bilingual dictionaries (Mandarin/English): the Langenscheidt pocket dictionary and the DK visual dictionary. These are quite easy to buy and not that interesting imo, so I'm not gonna talk further about them.
I'm also going to include a couple books that aren't technically dictionaries, but are rather about etymology of characters, and that's close enough to count for me.
Okay, let's get on to the interesting stuff!
1. What Character is That? An Easy-Access Dictionary of 5,000 Chinese Characters by Ping-gam Go (second edition, 1995)
bilingual
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This strange little dictionary was gifted to me by a nun who went to high school with my grandma and later lived in China as a missionary. It's organized alphabetically based on the English translation of each radical?
I have not used this dictionary for actual reference ever, because I flipped through it once and realized that it was absolutely whack. But it's cool to have I guess.
2. 新华字典 第11版
monolingual
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This little guy was gifted to me by a Chinese classmate back when I was in college. It's a 字典, so it's just focused on defining individual characters and providing some words featuring that character. Despite being a mainland dictionary, it also has 注音 next to each character for some reason.
It's got some neat stuff towards the back, like the periodic table and a chart of all the 節氣 solar terms.
3. 小学生全笔顺 同义词 近义词 反义词 组词 造句 成语 多音多义字 词典
monolingual
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Whew, that's a mouthful. This is an actual 词典, so it defines full words. It also provides example sentences, synonyms, antonyms, and close equivalents. Then there's a section for idioms, and another section for 多音多义字.
There's also this nifty little insert with examples of words/phrases that follow common patterns of repetition.
4. 新现代汉语词典
monolingual
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I picked up this chunky guy from a used bookstore down the street from me (the owner of the store passed last year, and the store is no longer there unfortunately). This is a fairly normal dictionary, it's just bigger than my others and has more words listed in it.
One thing I also noticed is that this chart towards the end of the dictionary apparently had a strip of paper pasted on the bottom. It doesn't seem like something I can peel up without damaging the paper under it, and when I shine a flashlight through the page I can't make out any major differences between what's on the sticker and what might be on the page under it. So my best guess is there might have been some damage to the text on the page?
5. 商务馆学汉语近义词词典 The Commercial Press Guide to Chinese Synonyms
monolingual
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This book is easily the one I reference the most. As the name suggests, the book is all about synonyms. It takes sets of 2+ similar words and thoroughly explains the similarities and differences between them all. There's plenty example sentences, with notes about whether the synonyms can be used interchangeably in certain contexts.
It's a great resource, but I had a bit of trouble getting my hands on a copy. It's possible that in the years since I bought it there have been more copies made available for sale though.
these next two are books I haven't explored too much since they are old and the binding is incredibly fragile and starting to fall apart. just opening them is stressful.
6. 漢字分解 Chinese Characters Explained by F.X. Keelan (aka 康愛玲修女) (1967?)
bilingual
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This book was also gifted to me by the nun who went to school with my grandma, and appears to also have been written by a nun! Based on what I've found from Google, this book was published in 1967.
Rather than a dictionary, this book is "a compilation intended as an aid in grouping and remembering [Chinese characters] with a view in acquiring a reading knowledge of Chinese"(p. iii). It aims to break down characters into radicals and giving similar/related characters. It's apparently the final installment in a 4 part Mandarin Course.
This book uses traditional characters. According to Google Books, the publisher is 光啓出版社, which is a Taiwanese organization. The book includes a very long table that has Mandarin, Cantonese, Taiwanese, Hakka, Japanese, and Korean pronunciations for (what seems to be) every character mentioned in the book. The intro mentions that this is so the course is more "accessible" for speakers of other East Asian languages.
Also, look at that printing error in the third photo! The text got cut off at the bottom of the page.
7. The Structure of Chinese Characters by John Chalmers (second edition, 1911)
bilingual
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This final book is the oldest of the bunch, and was gifted to me by my boss's boss for some reason? She found it in a used bookstore apparently.
This book also uses traditional characters, because simplified characters just weren't a thing yet in 1911. This book is falling apart, and opening it stresses me out. It creaks whenever I open it.
Going by the title page, the full title of this book is An Account of the Structure of Chinese Characters Under 300 Primary Forms; After the Shwo-Wan, 100 A.D., and the Phonetic Shwoh-Wan, 1833. It was published by Kelly & Walsh, which was a Shanghai-based publisher.
Someone very kindly penciled in the years the author was alive: 1825-1899. John Chalmers was apparently a Scottish missionary (bc of course he was) who apparently popularized the term "Cantonese". This book that I own in particular was originally published in 1882.
It is, as the very long title suggests, an analysis and etymology of 300 common components
It also has a nifty fold-out of all 300 "primary forms" in seal script.
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