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steelandblood · 24 days

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How about “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

@plasmodiumpyrexia thank you so much for the ask and I'm so sorry for taking so so long😅 I hope the 2.7K words were worth the wait!

@pleasestaywithmedarling thank you so much for showing interest! I hope I didn't disappoint

Honest Conversations

Bruises on the neck can mean very different things.

Contents: female whumpee, discussion of SA (elaborated in tags, nothing graphic though)

Characters

Calina was overjoyed to finally be reunited with her childhood friend, but it seemed like she was the only one who was happy with Adan's presence. Thancur at least did not mind him, but also paid him no mind. Calina hoped he might enjoy having another guy around and find some common ground, but they did not seem to have much in common at all.

At least it was better then the other women. Mirwen was hostile and suspicious, going so far as to threaten Adan and describe in alarmingly graphic detail the things she would do to him should he ever dare to hurt Calina. Sure, it was somewhat touching that apparently Mirwen was so fiercely protective of her, but Calina could definitely go without threats of dismemberment towards her boyfriend. Even worse, Rauna, mimicking the older half-elf's attitude, was outright mean and rude, often joking at Adan's expanse.

When they finally returned to the town it was well past sunset and they were all quite exhausted, but Calina was absolutely not too tired to finally enjoy some private time with Adan.

After a whispered promise to meet tonight outside the inn, they parted, each going to their room. She knew Adan would have no trouble. Even if Thancur would notice him getting out, he would not care. Calina though would have to sneak out. It's not that any of the other women could stop her, but they would certainly have their opinions about her spending the night in Adan's company, and Calina knew they would not keep those opinions to themselves. Not wanting to deal with Rauna's judgement and Mirwen's disappointment, Calina laid in bed, impatiently waiting until the other women were soundly asleep. Mirwen, who stayed on watch the entire night ever since Adan joined them, was completely exhausted and was out the moment her head touched the pillow. Rauna however of course had to go through all her nightly prayers first. At least it was not a full moon, then Rauna would have stayed up all night praying. But finally she fell asleep as well and Calina could sneak out of the room. Both half elfs ware light sleeper, but Calina's footsteps were lighter, and she successfully got out completely unnoticed. Not wasting a second more she quickly and quietly made her way to where Adan was already waiting for her, just like they used to do in their teenage years.

Sneaking back in was just as easy, though her heart was still beating loud in her ears from the excitement. Calina lay in her bed unable to sleep, giddy just as she was after their first kiss.

When the first ray of dawn shined through the window, giving Calina an excuse to start her day, she quietly snuck into the washroom while her companions were only just stirring awake. There, looking in the mirror she discovered an unpleasant surprise. Adan's passionate kisses left her with an unfortunate parting gift of blossoming dark bruises showing vividly on the pale skin of her neck.

She played with her hair, hoping to arrange it just so to hide the evidence, until Rauna's insistent knocking forced her to deem her efforts good enough. Calina busied herself with getting dressed, making sure to find a shirt with a high enough collar, and she was sure she had managed to get away undiscovered with last night's escapade when Rauna's teasing voice came from behind her.

"Hey Calina? What are those bruises on your neck?"

Calina could feel Mirwen's eyes on her, judging her, and only hoped she would be nice enough to not say anything, but Mirwen was rarely nice.

"Rauna, get dressed, go get Thancur and eat breakfast. We'll join later." Mirwen ordered in a voice that left no room for argument.

The moment the door closed behind Rauna, Mirwen's entire demeanour changed. She looked at Calina with big sad eyes and motioned for her to sit next to her on the bed. Confused and surprised Calina followed her.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" She asked cautiously, her voice thick with emotion, almost reaching for Calina's hand, "I would be the last one to judge." she let out a sad chuckle.

Whatever Calina expected, this was not it. Mirwen never hid her disapproval of her and Adan's relationship, so upon seeing the evidence of last nights, Calina expected disappointment, judgement, even anger, but Mirwen looked almost heartbroken.

"Mirwen what is this about?"

"You spent the night with Adan, didn't you. The bruise on your neck..." Mirwen sounded like she was fighting tears, "He strangled you, didn't he?"

"What? No!" The idea was ludicrous, but Mirwen seemed completely serious, "Why would you think something like that? We just had some fun last night."

To Calina's farther surprise, Mirwen, who never initiated physical contact unless she was healing, grasped her hand, not strong enough to hurt, but firm enough to prevent Calina from getting away.

"I'm sorry, but I need you to be honest about what happened, it's for your own good." Mirwen apologized and cast zone of truth around them.

"Please Calina, tell me the truth about what happened last night. I only want to protect you."

"I am telling you the truth, we just fooled around last night, we didn't even, go all the way, you know..."

"And the bruise on your neck?" Mirwen now looked as confused as Calina felt.

"Just from kisses, he was enthusiastic, and I bruise easily.” Calina confessed bashfully, “There is nothing more to it, he didn't hurt me, I promise.”

"You are telling the truth, you have to be." Mirwen looked at her bewildered and then released her hand as if burned, lowering her gaze in shame. "That's... that's good, that he didn't hurt you. I'm so sorry..." She moved to make a quick escape, but now it was Calina's turn to grab her hand to make her stay. Mirwen flinched at the touch, but didn't fight it, and set back down. Calina hated to do this, but she had to know what made Mirwen jump to the worst possible conclusion. Was it just her regular paranoia, or was there something more going on.

"What made you think Adan hurt me?" The annoyance in her mind now replaced with concern in her voice. "Did..." She didn't want to even think about this possibility, but she had to ask, "did he do anything to you?"

"No, he didn't... It... it was years ago". Mirwen mumbled, avoiding looking her in the eyes.

Calina did not need to ask to know what "it" was, it was the thing every woman was warned about, but was never supposed to mention.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you." Her own words sounded empty to Calina. She meant them of course, but her sorry was just as useless on face of what Mirwen went through.

Mirwen looked up at her fearfully. "It doesn't mat- it does-" she quickly gave up as the spell stopped any attempt at lying, "P-please don't te-t-tell anyone..." She asked, no, begged quietly. It was so wrong, Mirwen did not beg.

"I won't, of course I won't. But you know the others wouldn't judge you, right?" Calina was rumbling, but she felt she had to say something to fill the silence, do something to make it better. "It was something that was done to you, it's not your fault. They wouldn't think less of you, I don't." Calina stopped to draw a breath and saw that her words had the opposite effect.

"Don't say that!" Mirwen protested, "You can't mean it, please don't say that!"

Calina did not know what she said wrong, but she rumbled on, hoping to fix her mistake and not make the situation worse.

"I do mean it. You know I can't lie right now Mirwen, so I have to be telling the truth, you know that."

This was not how it was supposed to go. Mirwen was supposed to except her genuine but in the end useless sympathies, after which they would awkwardly move on, to never mention the topic again. She wasn't supposed to argue.

"But you don't know the truth!" Mirwen shouted, her voice painfully shrill, "It's too disgusting and wrong." She added in a small voice.

No, Calina did not know, and though a tiny, morbidly curious part of her wanted to ask, the other, more sensible, or perhaps selfish, part of her knew that she would rather stay blissfully ignorant. Because in the end the details did not matter.

"Mirwen, whatever horrible things he did to you, it doesn't change anything. He chose to do it to you, you didn't want that and it says absolutely nothing about you."

Mirwen shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut in a fruitless attempt to hide her tears.

"You don't get it! It was my father!" She blurted out and immediately clasped a hand over her mouth.

That was not what Calina expected to hear. She didn't want to believe such a thing was even possible, let alone happened to her friend. To Mirwen, who was always the strong one, who laughed at the face of death and could strike fear into the hearts of well armed men with a single look. Such things are not supposed to happen, but it was true, and it happened, and now Calina could not get out of her mind the image of a little golden-haired girl, tears staining her pale freckled face, with big dark finger shaped bruises around her tiny neck.

Mirwen stared at Calina with wide terrified eyes, and at that moment she looked far too much like the girl in Calina's mind.

"That's... That horrible. I'm so sorry."

Mirwen snatched her hand away from Calina's and backed away, as if only now realizing what she had said. "Fuck, shit I shouldn't have said this, I'm sorry, please pretend I didn't say anything." She was clearly panicking, and Calina was at a loss as to how to handle the situation.

"Mirwen, it's okay, calm-" Calina was cut off before she could finish.

"No, it's not! It's too late, I can see the way you're looking at me now. I don't even know what's worse, the pity or the disgust." With every word her voice was becoming more breathless and hysterical. Her entire body was trembling, and she was barely holding herself together, digging her short, broken nails as deep as possible into her arms. "I don't know why I even told you, I'm sorry, I couldn't keep my stupid mouth shut and now I ruined everything. I'm so sorry, I don't know what to do to fix it, please tell me what I can do, I'm sorry..." Her desperate rumbling turned into unintelligible sobs.

Calina did not know how to fix this either. Selfishly she also wanted to pretend that that the last few minutes did not happen. Because Mirwen was right, she did pity her. And how could she not, now that she could not stop imagining all the horrible things that were done to her, that her own father did to her, now that she could see that underneath all the armor, behind all the rage and violence, was a scared little girl who was desperate to never be hurt again.

Calina wished Rauna was here, the two were much closer, and though their circumstances were vastly different, at least Rauna knew what it was like to grow up without good parents. What did Calina know? She grew up in a mansion, both her parents were alive and well and loved her very much, she never knew any real hardship or fear. Even now, when she was regularly fighting deadly monsters, she always had Mirwen who took all the hits, and Rauna who could heal all the wounds. Even death was only a slightly expensive inconvenience.

What comfort and understanding could Calina offer when this was so incomprehensibly foreign to her.

With every moment ‏that she hesitated, her guilt grew, but her mind remained blank of ideas, until she could no longer bare the sight of Mirwen crying and the awkward almost silence of her quiet sobs.

Knowing nothing she could say would likely help, Calina took a different approach.

"Can I hug you?"

Mirwen stopped crying and then slowly looked up at Calina in bewilderment. After a long moment Mirwen gave a single nod.

Calina carefully reached to hug her, still half expecting her to protest or even shove her away, but Mirwen stayed frozen in place and allowed Calina to wrap her arms around her.

She could feel Mirwen holding her breath, until she let out a shaky gasp and broke down sobbing, burying her face Calina's shoulder.

Calina let her cry, patiently stroking her hair, trying not to notice how soft and nice it was, or how she could definitely feel Mirwen's muscles through the thin linen shirt. She didn't know how long they stayed like that, but eventually Mirwen stopped crying, and after few deep ragged breaths she awkwardly backed away from Calina.

"Calina," She looked up at her, blinking away tears, "I'm- I'm sorry, I-" her voice was hoarse and tired, "Thank you." She sounded so genuine that Calina didn't know if she wanted to cry, or yell at Mirwen and shake some sense into her. Because nothing she did warranted this, because she did basically nothing.

"It's nothing." She said instead.

Mirwen shook her head but didn't protest.

"Can we now please pretend all of this never happened, and never mention it again?"

"Of course. You're okay?"

"I'm fine." Mirwen did not sound very convicted, and enough time has past for the spell to end, but Calina did mot push it. They both had enough truths for today.

"You should join the others for breakfast."

"You're not coming?" Calina asked.

"Looking like that? No thanks." With tearstained cheeks and red puffy eyes, Mirwen obviously looked like she has been crying, of course she couldn't allow anyone to see her like that. "I'd rather save what little dignity I have left. It's fine, really, go ahead. And you can tell your boy toy that he is safe, for now."

#whump #lady whump #female whumpee #emotional whump #trauma reveal #mentions of sa csa and incest #truth spell #This story beat my ass but I beat it in the end #It was so hard writing from the other perspective #I don't know how it is #Is it edited? no #will I regret it later? probably #but I finished writing it and I want to publish it already #it took me long enough as it is #please be nice in your comments I'm sensitive #my wriring

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