#Jaskier x Lambert

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

That Heat Bombard got me like 👀 Lay it one me!

(And I’ll put a post up asap!)

Heat Bombard is one of my two fics for Fandom Trumps Hate! Like it says on the tin, it's an omegaverse Bombard fic where due to Plot Reasons, Jaskier ends up drinking a potion that gives him an extra-strong heat, which he needs help riding out. Luckily, he's at Kaer Morhen and Lambert, who he's been pining over for years, happens to be there.

Here's a snippet:

“Lambert, I’m bored.” Jaskier’s voice is a whine.

“Another day of bedrest. Vengerberg’s orders.” Lambert puts down the breakfast tray in front of him. It’s the first time he’s been in the same room as Jaskier since they arrived at Kaer Morhen; the bard still looks worn and a little haggard, but his scent is no longer flooded with pre-heat. He doesn’t smell like much of anything, in fact; the suppressants Vengerberg gave him do the trick.

“Since when does Yennefer give the orders?”

“Since you nearly froze your fucking feet off climbing a mountain in slippers.” Lambert knows that isn’t fair; it’s not like Jaskier had a choice in the matter. But grousing about the slippers is easier than thinking about all the other things about this situation that making Lambert fucking furious.

Jaskier sighs, very put upon. “Tell me a story. I want to hear about your year on the Path.”

Lambert blinks. “Why?”

“Because I haven’t left this bed in a week. Have I mentioned that I’m bored?”

“Only a thousand times.” Lambert can’t inject any real annoyance into his voice. “Ask Geralt. He’s your muse.”

“Geralt’s stories are all, ‘It was big and I killed it.’” Jaskier’s voice lowers into an abysmal imitation of Geralt’s.

“What about one of the others?”

“Eskel is only a little better than Geralt, Vesemir is busy, and please never tell dear, sweet Coën I said this, but he takes so long to get to the point that I fear I’ll perish before I find out what kind of monster he was hunting. I’m just a mortal man.” Jaskier grins up at Lambert, all big blue eyes. “Anyway, your stories are always so colorful.”

Lambert snorts. “That’s what Geralt likes to call my bullshit.”

“Maybe I like your bullshit.” Somehow, Jaskier’s eyes seem to get even bigger. Maybe even a little bluer, which shouldn’t be possible. Maybe Lambert is just a besotted idiot.

WIP Ask Game

#the witcher #bombard #lambskier #jaskier x lambert #omegaverse

[officerjennie]

For a rainy day :)

Lambert hugging someone awkwardly? (3?) Whoever you want that someone to be 😉

No CWs. Lambert is a disaster. Lambskier. Taglist at the bottom!

Lambert didn't do hugs. 

Namely, he didn't do touching. Of any sort. The thought made his skin crawl, his face twist into itself, and just the thought of all the gooey feelings that were usually attached to hugging made it all even worse.

That said, he wasn't sure what else he could do when Jaskier was giving him that look.

Somewhere along the way, the bard had attached himself to Lambert's side. A barnacle of a human, suction cupped to him, traipsing along the path in Lambert's wake despite the amount of times Lambert had thrown his boots at him. For all the years Lambert had made fun of Geralt for being stuck with him, destiny or karma or whatever bullshit must have been getting back at him, because Lambert could not shake the damned bard no matter how hard he tried.

And he mainly tried because he liked Jaskier's company. Didn't do for a witcher to get attached to a human, after all.

But he tried and failed, and hated every time Jaskier gave him that look - though there were a dozen 'that look's that made Lambert snarl or storm off away from the bard. Like the one where Jaskier's eyes lit up at whatever story Lambert was telling, or the one where Jaskier's face turned haunted and dangerous when someone said something snide about witchers.

Or the one where Jaskier's whole face softened, and his voice turned quiet, when Lambert stumbled back into their camp bleeding.

Right at that moment, he hated the tears in Jaskier's eyes, and he couldn't run away from them.

He'd caused them. Worst of all, he hadn't caused them by being mean. All he'd done was replace Jaskier's leather bound notebook, the one the damned idiot had dropped in the river the week before and had spent at least a good hour wading around in the water for. And it hadn't even been out of the graciousness of his heart, nor because he felt bad for him when all Jaskier had to scribble on were spare sheets of paper he picked up off of the streets when they passed through a town.

...okay maybe he had been trying to cheer the bard up. His moping was worse than his cheer, and it grated on Lambert's nerves in a way that was dangerously close to suggesting he was fond of him.

So he'd bought him a notebook. And Jaskier had started to sniff, and tear up, and barely managed to whisper out a hoarse "thank you", and Lambert didn't know what to do.

The first thing that came to mind was hug him. He didn't know why, he hated hugs, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Jaskier was tactile, always running his hands over soft things or worrying his thumbs over rough surfaces to feel their texture. Fuck, he'd hug a stranger if they were kind enough to him, and Lambert could see him squirming in place, hands clutching the leather notebook and his coat swaying behind him.

He wanted a hug. Was holding himself back from flinging his arms around the witcher because as much as Jaskier wasn't the greatest with boundaries he knew which ones to keep and which ones he could push.

And Lambert didn't know what to do except hug him. So he did.

Jaskier let out a small eep as Lambert put his arms around him, holding the bard loosely and glaring off to the side like the wall had personally offended him. He couldn't help but stiffen and grind his teeth, and Jaskier just held his breath, not moving an inch as they stood there in complete silence.

It was awful. Lambert hated every second of it. And then Jaskier slowly wrapped his arms around Lambert's back, and Lambert hated it for an entirely different reason.

"Thank you, truly."

Lambert growled, feeling heat building on his cheeks, and he wanted nothing more than to bolt and never see the bard again.

And also wanted to hold him closer, and wanted to kiss him until Jaskier lost his words and just shut up for once.

"Alright, that's enough, shut up about it." Lambert wriggled right out of the hug and bodily held Jaskier at arms length for a moment, glaring at him though it didn't even make the bard flinch. He then huffed and dropped his arms, turning on his heel and snatching up his swords to go find something to kill.

"Should I wait up for you?" Jaskier called out, his voice still touched with softness, and Lambert needed to run before that made him think too much on whatever feelings were rattling around in his chest.

"Don't make me knock you out," he snapped, and jumped out the window before Jaskier could say anything else.

He hated hugs. He hated touching. And he hated how Jaskier made him want to admit he was lying.

--

@fontegagrilledcheese @damnbert @mothmanismyuncle @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde @jaskierswolf @oldandkinky @blooodymoon  @kan0chan @silvermintnightprincess @flowercrown-bard @sharinalein @concussed-dragon @hayleynzlive @feral-jaskier @sweetiepieplum @stonedstargazer666 @deafeningnightcollection-things @luteandsword @kmuir1 @little-boats-on-a-lake @dani-dandelino @rurousha @renewlucifer

#lambskier #lambert #jaskier #the witcher #mywriting #fanfiction #witcher #lambert x jaskier #jaskier x lambert #lambert/jaskier #jaskier/lambert #witcher fic #witcher fanfic #witcher fanfiction #the witcher fic #the witcher fanfic #the witcher fanfiction

[dragonsandwolvesohmy]

Looking for a fic for someone else!

Jaskier meets one of the Witchers (likely either Lambert or Eskel) and ends up befriending them, he stays at their safe house cottage. There may have been chickens and maybe a goat? The cottage might get burned down by anti-Witcher people near the end.

Heard back from the searcher!!! The great @221birl1823 found it!! It's Too Much by Kalaratri!

#the witcher #jaskier #eskel #lambert #kaer morons #jaskier x eskel #jaskier x lambert #jaskel #lambskier #lost fic #found fic

[quickficss]

You Don’t Scare Me

I WANT LAMBERT TO BE COMFORTED AND CARED FOR GOD DAMN IT. THATS IT. THATS THE FIC.

Implied Lambert/Jaskier|Dandelion (and implied geraskier) as well as some family dynamic with the other wolves. Hurt/Comfort. 1,414 words. AO3

It was a shit day. A shit day at the end of a shit week, which was at the end of a shit month, which was at the end of a shit year, which was arguably at the end of a shit fucking life. It was all shit, and he was angry about it. anyone would be if they were in his shoes.

His brothers got everything. The fame, the respect, the women and men, everything. He had something once, someone. But he lost him as soon as he let him in.

It was the anniversary of Aidens death, and Lambert wasn’t handling it well. The first half of the day was spent in his room, destroying anything and everything he could get his hands on, and the second half of the day was spent throwing bombs into the lake while screaming. Or maybe crying. It was probably both if he was being honest with himself, which he was never going to be.

Now he felt like a shell. The only thing he felt all day was anger and grief, but now he felt nothing. It was late, around dinner or a little after that. His brothers and Jaskier were in the main hall probably drinking and laughing, unaware of his pain. They didn’t care. No one did.

At least, so he thought.

“There you are” a voice called to him from behind. a melodramatic voice that was unnaturally quiet, compared to the ballads he constantly belted out. Turning his head, Lambert saw the bard standing there, his hands clasped behind his straight back, his loud outfit especially offensive to his eyes in this dim lighting. He growled deep in his throat like a wild animal prepared to back up his bark with a bite. This only earned a roll of the bard's blue eyes.

“Hush now, Lamb.” He lightly scolded with a smile, making his way over without hesitance or fear. “There’s no need to act like that. Come and drink with me and your family, huh? You’ve been down all day.”

“What would you know?!” The witcher snapped, moving his shoulder away from the bard's open hand. “I have every right to be upset! You don’t know anything about me or what I’ve been through, so don’t fucking pretend that you do!”

The bard frowned, lowering his hand to his side as he looked up at the wolf. Lambert noticed that he didn’t smell of fear or disdain or even annoyance, but heartache.

“Lambert” Jaskier began, carefully stepping closer to the cornered wolf, not because he was afraid of being bitten but afraid he would scare lambert off. “Geralt... he told me what happened... he told everyone. Not Yen or Ciri obviously, but he told the people you... see the most often. The people who are here.” A blinding rage caused Lambert's vision to see red. How dare Geralt go behind his back to tell everyone of something so personal, something he trusted him with the knowledge of? He clenched his hands into fists, which caught Jaskiers attention.

“Don’t misunderstand!” Jaskier quickly added, putting his hands up in a stop position with an anxious smile. “He didn’t give any details or even names. He just told us that you had lost someone a couple of years ago to the day and that's why every time this date comes around you get... moody.” The bard winced at his own wording, probably aiming for something more gentle or poetic. The youngest witcher growled again before crossing his arms.

“So what?  Are you here to mock me? Poke fun at me? Call me weak? Because I’m warning you now, I’m not in the fucking mood.”

“Gods no! Do I really come across as such a heartless bastard?” Jaskier exclaimed as he brought a hand up to his chest. Lambert couldn’t help the crooked smile that rose to his lips, which earned a huff and a muttered “Don’t answer that” from the bard. Rubbing a hand across his face, the younger man continued. “Lamb, I hate to see you like this, we all do. Just join us for a couple of pints, a few rounds of cards, whatever you want. We haven’t seen you all day and... we’re concerned.”

Lambert scoffed as he turned on his heel and began marching down the hall again. “Thank you but no thank you, I’m perfectly fine on my own, now get lost before I- Ack!” The man was stopped in his tracks when two arms suddenly wrapped around his torso, refusing to let go. He heard Jaskier coming up from behind him obviously, he just wasn’t expecting... that. “You don’t scare me, you fucking asshole,” Jaskier said, his words muffled from Lambert's shirt. “You are coming to be with us and that's final. It’s not good to process grief alone. Please let us...” he trailed off for a moment, “... let me help you.”

Something about the way Jaskier sounded so genuine, the way the smell of compassion rolled off of him in waves, caused Lambert to suddenly stop his train of thought. Jaskier tightened his grip around the man's chest, fist curling around the front of his shirt.

“Please” was all Jaskier had to add before Lambert caved. He could feel his eyes sting but quickly brought his hands up to wipe stray tears before the bard was any the wiser. “Fine.”

He followed the bard into the main hall, where his brothers and Vesemir sat waiting with an extra mug of mead spiked with white gull for him. It seemed as though this was planned. Thankfully, no one forced him to say anything, no one even brought it up. It was only when he was good and drunk when Vesemir draped a thin blanket over his shivering form, did he break. He of course didn’t say anything about his and Aiden's relationship explicitly, but the looks he received as he was drunkenly ranting and raving about the Cat witchers food preferences told him that they knew.

He didn’t even realize he was crying until a good three seconds after he started smelling the salt. He cringed at that fact, as it only brought to light how inferior his reflexes were compared to his brothers.

Despite all that, no one condemned him. No one made him out to feel weak or pathetic, they only listened and offered comforting words. He was also pretty sure Geralt let him win at Gwent on purpose, but he was too happy about the fact he finally beat the white wolf to care.

When the hour was late, or rather early in the morning, it was only him, the bard, and the bard’s muse. Geralt and Jaskier exchanged looks that the youngest wolf couldn’t quite read, but after what seemed like a staring match Geralt stood up and patted Lambert on the shoulder before leaving to go to bed.

And then there were two.

“... do you want me to write a ballad about him?” Jaskier voiced gently.

“No... Yes. I mean- fuck, I don’t know.” Lambert slurred, staring at the bottom of his mug.

“You should head to bed. It’s late and you had a long day.” The bard smiled at him from across the table. Lambert's mouth and throat became dry. He had the realization that he didn’t want to be left alone just yet, but he knew the human was probably tired. He wasn’t sure how long humans should stay awake, he never had one to take care of as Geralt did, but he was pretty sure they weren’t supposed to stay awake as long as Jaskier had.

“Could you...” Lambert began, tripping over his tongue, “I mean, can you... I just... I don’t....” He could feel himself getting flustered as he watched Jaskier’s grin grow, his cornflower eyes filling with mirth. “Could you just... spend the night with me? Not to do anything! I just don’t...” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“Sure” was not the answer he was expecting. They walked to Lambert’s room in silence, and the wolf learned four things that night.

1. Jaskier slept in his briefs

2. Jaskier was surprisingly buff under all that puffy fabric

3. Jaskier’s feet were cold

and 4. He fell asleep much easier when he was accompanied by the gentle smell of chamomile.

Jaskier wasn’t an Aiden. He realized he still needed time to heal. Maybe next winter, however, he could ask Geralt how open the relationship was.

#I wrote this at 12 in the morning btw #I was sad today can you tell? #jaskier/lambert #lambert witcher #the witcher fanfic #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher hurt/comfort #lambskier #jaskier x lambert #lambert x jaskier #the witcher #kaer morons #kaer morhen family #all my bitches love lambert

[glwstic]

Rec List 8: The Witcher

-  Just a song of safety by LeWanderinGaal

'Some said the Sandpiper was so amazing he wasn't even a person, just a song of safety that carried on the wind. Said he could enchant guards with just a hum of tine. I've heard some say he's an elf mage in disguise, strong as a dragon and beautiful as Francesca. When we met him, sure he wasn't any of those things, but his songs were good and I can't but thank him for saving me and mother' Elven child's diary - Cintra 1264

or

Jaskier's face will forever be a memory of freedom for some, Sandpiper the name of the saivour of elves. And I wanted to explore how Jaskier's deeds deserve some more recognition and how him arguing with the deck guard seemed...wrong, especially if Jaskier had been helping elves for a while by the moment we see him. If other favourite concepts and headcanons for him made their way into this well...

Oneshot,  11,751 words

-  as every step I choose to take by restmyheadatnightcontent

The fire follows him.

He cannot seem to escape it - in moments of quiet he can still feel his fingers burning, with every mouthful of food that he eats, all he tastes is the horrid mixture of blood and smoke, and it takes everything he has to swallow it down and not empty his stomach, and he is constantly looking over his shoulder, catching glimpses for that lingering shadow, waiting for the moment when that black figure and that singular flame catch him again.

Most days, he has a handle on it.

Or at least, he does his best to convince everyone that he has a handle on it.

Oneshot, 1,492 words

- reconstruction by SparrowFlight246

Jaskier's burned hand gets infected in the aftermath of everything.

It complicates things, a bit.

Oneshot,  6,363 words

-  (I won’t) Scream Into the Night by Chaos_Breeds

Ciri didn’t react to that, looking into the distance again. “The thing is,” she whispered, voice raw and aching. The voice of a girl who had seen so much death and destruction, and was trying to brace herself for more. “I’m not really worried about you two.”

There was a long, blissful second where Geralt had no idea what she was referring to. And then suddenly, he heard far-off humming, snippets of ‘Toss a Coin’. His blood ran cold.

“Jaskier,” he realized.

———

Jaskier isn’t like the rest of them - the world is much, much more dangerous for a bard than for Witchers and witches and magical princesses. Ciri and Geralt try to deal with that knowledge. Jaskier helps.

Oneshot,  1,803 words

-  The Path Not Taken by sospes

Jaskier comes across an injured witcher in a backwoods town, months after the events of the dragon hunt. It all just sort of escalates from there.

5/5 Completed,  40,149 words

-  Advantage by sospes

"The drugs have been made specifically for you, to keep you docile. Didn’t want you snapping my neck mid-vengeance, did I?”

Vengeance? “I don’t even know you,” Geralt spits.

The lordling laughs. “Oh, the revenge wasn’t on you."

Jaskier made a mistake. Geralt suffers the consequences.

Oneshot,  10,448 words

-  like a flame that burns the candle by unseenbox

Yennefer lights a fire. Jaskier has some opinions to offer on the subject. Together, they find a way to cope.

Oneshot,  2,363 words

-  resurge infra terra by asweetepilogue

It seemed the alderman had been wrong when he said that the creature’s bite killed instantly. Shame Jaskier was only figuring that out now that he was several feet under.

Oneshot,  1,256 words

-  so hard to say (so easy to do) by asweetepilogue

Jaskier gets left behind, and Nilfgaard is not forgiving of his sacrifice.

Oneshot,  3,165 words

-  so hard to do (so easy to say) by asweetepilogue

They can’t get out of this. He knows it, Geralt knows it. Ciri is starting to, her eerie green eyes wide and frightened. Jaskier can hear them, men shouting off to their left and the sound of footsteps behind them. It’s over.

Nilfgaard closes in, and Geralt has to make a choice.

Oneshot,  698 words

#the witcher #the witcher fic #the witcher fic rec #fic rec #jaskier #jaskier x geralt #witcher jaskier #yennefer x jaskier #jaskier x lambert #lambert #lambert witcher #geralt #witcher geralt #geralt of rivera #witcher yennefer #yennefer #smut #fluff #angst

[kueble]

Last one for the night I think. @thepassifloradiscord

Explicit. Warnings: none. 100 words

Lambert/Jaskier (implied Geraskier)

---

"Geralt said you had a mouth on you, though I doubt this is what he meant," Lambert says, laughing as he struggles to hold his hips I check.

"He knows better than most," Jaskier replies, smirking before swallowing him down again. He grabs Lambert’s hand and brings it to the back of his head, begging him to fuck him harder. He looks filthy on his knees, happily gagging around Lambert’s thick cock.

Lambert had reservations about letting the bard join them this winter, but as he slams his hips into Jaskier's hot wet mouth, he can't seem to remember them.

#the witcher #jaskier #lambert #bombard #my fic #drabble #drabble challenge #lambert x jaskier #jaskier x lambert

[loki-is-my-kink-awakening]

Lessons in Self Discovery

Fandom: The Witcher

Ships: Geralt xJaskier, Aiden x Lambert

Rating: Mature

Tags: open relationships, spanking, caning, bdsm, kink discovery, no sex

Geralt watches Jaskier get spanked by Aiden, then Lambert get caned. It makes him realise something about his own desires to submit.

Written for @thewitcherflashfic round 71. I couldn't help myself, I see traditional schoolroom and that's where my mind goes.

Also, it was a lovely opportunity to continue this foursome's dynamic from the last one, Jaskier sandwich.

#the witcher #geraskier #lambden #jaskden #jambert #geralt x jaskier #lambert x aiden #jaskier x aiden #jaskier x lambert #geralt of rivia #jaskier #aiden #lambert #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher flash fic challenge #geraskier fanfiction #my fic

[fangirleaconmigo]

You were asking for a prompt? How about Jaskier soft Domming Lambert?

Jaskier being taken to a strip club and being thirsty on sight upon seeing Eskel (and/or) Lambert dancing

Hello dear! Ok. I’ll do:

Jaskier soft dommimg Lambert. Short ficlet (in theory). Very Explicit. (Obviously)

Also, Lambert is in lingerie.

Lambert heard the door creak open behind him. He stopped fidgeting and held still as best he could. Hope and anxiety fought for dominance in his chest.

Jaskier had asked for this. Had asked for him to put on his finest handmade deep blue underthings. In reply, Lambert asked him over and over if he was sure. Jaskier just laughed in that easy, musical way of his. “Oh I am quite sure, Lambert.”

Jaskier had seen him naked. He knew what he looked like. He had known Lambert for months, so he knew how foul mouthed and hot tempered he was.

And Lambert knew that he was hardly some darling thing. He was not willowy or ethereal. He was wiry and calloused.

This was stupid. But he wanted it, and Jaskier said that he wanted it too. So Lambert had said fuck it.

While Jaskier performed, Lambert had stomped upstairs. He had bathed and put on Jaskier’s best pair of delicate underthings. They were silk and lace and they felt like whisper thin petals on his skin.

Then, Lambert had prepared himself, writhing on the bed, riding his own slicked fingers. Then he had gotten down on his hands and knees facing the mirror and waited.

Once or twice he had almost lost his nerve and run out into the the cold. But something had anchored him there, hands and knees pressed into the rug, thighs trembling.

It was hope, he supposed.

And this was the moment. The door had swung open and air from the hall had puffed in, smelling slightly of ale and carrying with it the muffled conversations from far away party guests.

This could be the moment. Jaskier could take one look at him like this and laugh. He could change his mind. He could regret it.

He heard a swift intake of breathe, and creaking of Jaskier’s impractical shoes on the floorboards.

Then Jaskier made a series of noises Lambert had yet to hear him make.

The first sound was a swallowed choke. Then it was like the release of a very very please sigh. It almost sounded like a purr. That was followed by a dark, predatory chuckle. Then the sound of the door clicking shut and the lock turning.

Lambert gathered the courage to crane over his shoulder and look at Jaskier.

The dark predatory chuckled was paired with a dark gleam in his very blue eyes and an eager, predatory grin. And finally, he said something intelligible.

“Fuck me but I am a lucky cunt.”

Well. That was good then.

“Yeah you are.”

Lambert tried to sound devil-may-care but his heart still beat against his chest cavity like a drum.

“Uh uh uh,” tutted Jaskier. His shock had subsided and he sounded like himself again. “Polite requests only, darling.”

They had talked about this. Polite requests only. Since Lambert met Jaskier, he had learned about this side of himself. The side that liked to please.

“S-sorry.”

Jaskier knelt behind him. Lambert watched him carefully in the mirror.

“Quite alright, Lamb. Look at you, being so good for me. Displaying yourself like this for me.”

Jaskier whistled as his eyes raked Lambert’s body with intense enthusiasm.

“Your ass is fucking gorgeous, darling. Look at you. Everything.” His fingers whispered up Lambert’s thighs and stopped to grip his hips.

Lambert exhaled and leaned back, seeking his touch. Jaskier smirked and rewarded him with more touch. He ran his fingers up the furry planes of his stomach. He slipped them under the brassiere and thumbed Lambert’s nipples.

Lambert could feel his cock growing heavy trapped in the underwear, pressed against his stomach.

“Fuck me.”

Jaskier planted slow, soft, tender kisses up his spine. “You won’t get anything if you cannot behave, Lambert,” he murmured into his skin. “Can you behave, my love?”

Lambert gritted his teeth. “Please. Please fuck me.”

Jaskier’s teeth glinted. “Good boy.”

Lambert whimpered.

“Did you do as I asked?”

His hands never stopped touching him. Gripping him. Tucking his fingers underneath his straps and thumbing the lace criss crossing his hips and chest.

“Y-yes.” Lambert was panting now. Arching his back. He could feel cool air where his cock had dripped precum onto the silk.

He could hear Jaskier unlacing his trousers behind him.

“Because you are desperate for my cock, is that it?”

Lambert nodded.

“Say it, darling. Say it with those soft, cock sucking lips.”

“Yes.” He breathed. “I need it. I need your cock.”

Jaskier pulled out his cock, and stroked it.

“This one?”

“Fuck. Yes. Please.

There was the sound of a bottle opening and the delicate scent of almond oil filling the air. Then, Jaskier slipped the thin, delicate string of his thong to one side.

Lambert felt so godsddamn exposed. Why was it so exciting? He rolled his hips. Jaskier squeezed his ass with one hand, parting him.

“Then take it.”

He nudged his hole with the fat tip of his cock. Lambert tried to shove his hips back but Jaskier held him in place.

“You will take it the way I want you to take it, Lamb. Is that clear?”

A thrill shuddered through him and he nodded.

“Good,” rumbled Jaskier. He exhaled and cursed under his breathed as he slid deeper and deeper still. “Good boy. You’re taking me so well.”

Lambert ground his hips and bit his lower lip and he took it all, moaning like a whore.

Then Jaskier curled the fingers of one hand around Lambert’s neck and urged him up. He knelt now, back against Jaskier, and hands resting on his knees.

Jaskier nuzzled his neck.

“I’m going to fuck you while you look at yourself in the mirror.”

Lambert gulped. He felt so fucking full and pliant he couldn’t question it. He looked in the mirror.

“Look how gorgeous you are stuffed with my cock. In my lingerie. Look at you.”

He saw himself the way Jaskier did. And yeah. No wonder he had been sure he wanted this. Lambert reached behind him to clutch at Jaskier’s thighs to steady himself.

It was good he did, because Jaskier began to fuck him in earnest, one hand still resting on this throat. The sound of panting and slapping of their bodies filled the room. When Jaskier fucked him, it was like a demon took over his body.

The funny, mouthy bard turned into a devouring, desperate, man, hell bent on fucking Lambert until his mind emptied of everything except the need. The need to be full. The need to be taken. To be ravaged.

Lambert’s body jiggled shook and his gaze dropped. Jaskier slowed down, and sweaty and panting, he gently moved his chin to face the mirror.

“Look. I said look.”

And for the first time, under Jaskier’s adoring, intense gaze, Lambert understood.

Jaskier came apart behind him, fucking him brutally but tenderly and came with an aborted cry.

“Make yourself cum for me Lamb. In the mirror.”

Then he watched himself come apart. And he slumped into Jaskier’s arms, allowing him to shower him in kisses.

Then, they lay panting in each other’s arms.

“You’re coming to every performance from now on, Lambert. I mean it.” Jaskier nuzzled into his neck. The sound of the party outside was growing quiet, as people paired off or staggered home.

“I’ll come to as many as I can.” He pushed Jaskier’s damp curls from his forehead and kissed him.

“Oh good.” Jaskier whispered into his lips.

“Because you are a lucky cunt,” chucked Lambert.

Jaskier plopped onto his back and smiled at the ceiling.

“That I am, darling. That I am.”

—fin

#the witcher #jaskier #lambert #Jaskier x lambert #bombard #why can’t I write anything short? #this was much longer than I meant to do #and pls #i did not get a beta obv #just quick #so excuse any errors #also #some feelings still slipped in #descarada writes #descarada writes jaskier x lambert

[ficsforfundota]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jaskier | Dandelion/Lambert Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Lambert (The Witcher) Additional Tags: Fae Jaskier, Fae Name Deals but not really, Save a Witcher Bingo, Soft Witchers (The Witcher), In love Witcher, Fae & Fairies, Monster Lover, Faes are Monsters IDK, Monster Lover March, Monster Fucker March, jaskier and lambert, fairy wings, Walking Amongst Humans, bard jaskier, Witchers Bathing, Bathtubs, Worries, teen for bathing, Kissing, Is Lambert Brain Washed?, idk - Freeform, Fae Magic, Fae Love, Bard Jaskier still even though hes Fae, Scared Jaskier | Dandelion, Nervousness, Confessions Series: Part 3 of Witcher Bingo, Part 1 of MonsterMarch Summary:

Jaskier is a Fae, and he never planned to give any human his name, until he met Lambert.

A Witcher.

So he finally gives Lambert his name, but he feels terrible for how long it took and wonders if he may lose his life or lose his lover.

Save a Witcher Bingo Slot Magic + Day one of Monster Lover/F*cker Bingo Rated Teen for a nakey bathtub Witcher and Fae time but nothing more @save-a-witcher-bingo

#save a witcher bingo #Fae Jaskier #Jaskier x Lambert #Lambert #Fae #Monster March

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Chapters: 1/2 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jaskier | Dandelion/Lambert Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Lambert (The Witcher), Original Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, First Time, Summer Romance, Romantic Fluff, Soft Lambert (The Witcher), Game-Canon Lambert (The Witcher), Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Literal Sleeping Together, Young Jaskier | Dandelion, Young Love, Kissing, Getting Together

Summary: Jaskier takes a summer job working on a farm to escape the disapproval of his father. He's struggling to fit in with the other young people looking to party and has resigned himself to a long, boring few months stacking rhubarb. He expects to go crawling home with his tail between his legs come autumn, but a chance meeting with another migrant worker changes all that.

#lambert #witcher lambert #jaskier #Lambskier #jaskier/lambert #bombard #jaskier x lambert #tw3

[whataboutthefish]

Day 15

Prompt 15 Omorashi | Roleplay | Human Furniture

Lambert/Jaskier, Omorashi, Crying, Coming untouched, Coming in pants, Daddy kink

Words 839

Gods why hadn’t he pissed before his set. Jaskier was aching, every time he danced around, every shift of his lute, every high note he felt the pressure building. Just one more song and an encore, he could do this, he had to. Just the thought of pissing himself on stage made a cold shiver of shame rush over him, his stomach doing a flip and his head swimming.

From across the tavern Lambert watched, sitting in a dark corner, mercifully left alone due to his twin swords and yellow eyes. He had one hand on his tankard, the other palming his cock through his trousers. He grinned a menacing grin when the bard caught his eye, he knew the way Jaskier grimaced, hiding it behind a smile and a wink, knew that the extra beer he’d plied Jaskier with before his set had the desired effect. 

“Stress smells good on you, bard,” Lambert teased after the bard’s set finished. Catching Jaskier outside behind the tavern before he had a chance to loose his trousers, so desperate to piss, Lambert crowded into Jaskier’s space until his back hit the wall, a squeak falling from his lips.

“Lambert, please,” he begged, looking up, his eyes huge and round and starting to brim with unshed tears.

Lambert only smiled, one hand pushing into Jaskier bladder and laughing at the pained moan Jaskier made. He leant in scenting at Jaskier’s neck, then licked a strip up his jaw, “Mmm, smell so good. Need to piss, do you?” Lambert said, nipping the cut of his jaw and pushing one knee between Jaskier’s legs.

Denied being able to cross his legs, Jaskier’s heart rate soared, hammering like a little rabbit. “Lambert, just let up, come on,” Jaskier bit his lip, blinking rapidly and fought the tears that threatened to spill, “Please,“ he whispered. 

“Go on then, no ones stopping you,” Lambert replied, equally hushed and right into Jaskier’s ear, his wicked mouth nibbling on his ear lobe. 

Jaskier did cry then, a loud sob broke through the tension and Lambert grinned, the scent of piss, acrid and sour hit his nose. The bard had let out a spurt, another sob followed when he realised, fighting at Lambert’s solid immovable form, the knee between his legs that had shifted higher so he was almost on tiptoes

“Oh gods, Lambert,” Jaskier hiccuped, his cheeks flaming with shame, “I can’t,” 

“Sure you can. Just let go, Jaskier,” Lambert assured, voice soft and encouraging. His mouth returned to suck on the skin just below Jaskier’s ear, “be a good boy for Daddy,” Lambert coaxed, his voice sinfully low as his hips pushed forward, allowing Jaskier to feel every inch of him. 

The hand over Jaskier’s bladder pressed harder and Jaskier broke. Lambert groaned when he felt the first big spurt of hot liquid soak into the knee of his trousers, growling when Jaskier cried, his body shaking as he let go. Lambert couldn’t help nosing and scenting the bards neck, sucking on the skin there leaving marks as he got the pure scent of shame flooding from him. He pushed even closer, rubbing his hard cock against Jaskier, pushing into the soaked front of his pants. 

Jaskier held onto Lambert like his life depended on it, clung to his chest as the witcher ground himself into Jaskier’s shame. The way his head spun with pain, shame and lust he thought if Lambert removed his knee he’d surely fall into the puddle that spread below him. The thought made him hiccup another sob, and he desperately wanted to bury his head in Lambert’s chest to escape from the world. 

“Such a good boy,” Lambert rumbled, and Jaskier’s cock betrayed him, starting to fill as it twitched, the skin feeling raw against the damp linen of his smalls.

Lambert wouldn’t let anyone see him like this, Jaskier knew. No matter how much he hated this, loathed it, the thrill was undeniable and Lambert would keep him safe, he let himself go, groaning as he shifted his head to the side giving Lambert full access, he lost himself.

Lambert’s near constant growl was fed directly into his ear as he rutted against Jaskier, the sounds, the smell of his own piss and the pressure all adding up to an embarrassingly fast orgasm. It was the hand that clamped over his mouth and Lambert pushing into him, hiding him from view as he heard the sound of drunken footsteps walk by that made him fill with shame so fast he came with a muffled cry so hard he bit down on the palm of Lambert’s hand.

When they were alone again Lambert laughed, removing his hand and kissing Jaskier hard. 

“Come on baby, I’m going to ruin you when we get back to camp,” Lambert said with a growl, picking Jaskier up and tossing him over his shoulder, the way he was position Lambert would scent all of Jaskier, the salty addition of his come the icing on the cake for his witcher. 

#Kinktober #Kinktober 2022 #A very witcher Kinktober #my writing #jaskier x lambert #omorashi

[parkkrys]

The Blue Incident

Jaskier/Lambert snippet. Someone wanted more content for this ship, who am I if I don't provide? All grammar mistakes are my own and I hope you enjoy!

Also this is game canon Lambert and this is posted on AO3 which you can find here

-------------------------------------------------

No one around the keep expected for Jaskier and Lambert to get along. Words were always thrown at one another, insults and the levels of sass always at its highest. Vesemir only rolled his eyes at them, Eskel chuckling in amusement as Geralt questioned why he even brought the bard in the first place to the keep.  

Jaskier was a lil feral himself now after spending all these years traveling behind a witcher, watching people being murdered in front of him, seeing monsters in real life instead from stories. He may have lost his sanity but it added to his character, Jaskier always told them when they questioned him. 

Meeting Lambert was interesting in itself. Geralt had told him to be careful around him, not to speak of certain things. Jaskier was going to be on his best behaviour, afterall, he did promise his best friend. But all of that flew out the window within minutes of meeting the damn bastard. If Lambert was going to find ways to hurt him and get him angry, well Jaskier had every right to do the same. 

The first year they did not get along. The second year was a bit better, the third year they were actually friends. The fourth, was more like friends with benefits, the fifth lovers. 

Jaskier was quite proud of their progress really. Even if it meant doing things that Geralt scolded him for because the last thing Lambert needed was an enabler (Geralt’s words not his). 

“Hey pretty thing, have I got an idea for us,” Lambert said as he sat down at the breakfast table, interrupting his thoughts on their past. 

“Whatever it is, no,” Vesemir grunted and Jaskier only grinned. 

“Should have told me when we were in bed,” Jaskier pointed out and Lambert only rolled his eyes as he wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him into his lap. 

Lambert was a man that normally showed his affection through actions and when it was just them. The only time he showed it in front of others was normally when he was worried, or he was just being a little shit. Jaskier figured this must be the latter when he saw Geralt walk in, stop and only groan as he rolled his eyes. 

Jaskier would have to get the story of whatever happened out of them later. For now, he was just going to soak up the affection Lambert was giving him freely. 

“I was thinking of pulling something on Geralt later,” Lambert muttered into his ear as Geralt continued to groan as he sat down at the table. Jaskier only raised his brows and Lambert only grinned before he gave him a kiss. 

“You will be telling me the story before anything,” Jaskier only hummed and Lambert rolled his eyes but Jaskier knew he would. 

“Story about what?” Geralt grunted and Lambert only growled. 

“About how your white ass fell into the moat when we were younger,” The young wolf snarked and Geralt glared at him. 

“No you will not.” 

“You wanna bet?” 

“Boys, boys, boys, settle down the both of you. It’s far too early for this and afterall, Eskel already told me that story.” 

“He what!?” Geralt snarled before he was out of the room and Jaskier giggled as Lambert cackled. 

“Did he really tell you?” 

Jaskier only hummed as he picked up a piece of bread and gave Lambert a wink, more or less shoving the bread into his mouth while Vesemir only shook his head. Jaskier believed he heard Vesemir grumble something about young people these days before he left but he wasn’t sure. Lambert only grinned so Jaskier believed he was correct in his thinking. 

“What did Geralt do now to piss you off?” 

“We may have gotten into an argument about you,” Lambert only muttered before he buried his face into Jaskier’s neck and the bard frowned. 

“Whatever for?” 

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to travel with me this summer,” Jaskier perked up, he had always hoped but normally every year Lambert would never ask and it always made him a little bit disappointed every summer when he would leave with Geralt instead of Lambert, “And he said no, I would never be able to take care of you.” 

“What? But you do?” 

“He thinks I’m too selfish to take care of you.” 

Jaskier huffed as he wrapped his arms tighter around his witcher. He understood Geralt was looking out for him, but this was cruel. Lambert had a temper. Yes, he could be reckless at times but he always cared for him. He always made sure he was safe first. He wanted to give Geralt a piece of his mind. 

“What did you have in mind?” Jaskier huffed and Lambert only beamed. 

“Wanna dye his hair blue, thinking about doing it in the springs where he doesn’t really notice what he is putting in his hair.” 

“That’s because I am normally the one to give him the oils and shampoo for his hair love.” 

“That’s why I need your help, pretty bard.” 

Jaskier hummed as he frowned, he wasn’t sure if this was the right way to go, “Do you even have the dye?” 

“Of course I do! Got it before I came up here,” Lambert scoffed and Jaskier still hesitated. 

“Will it wash out?” 

“No fucking idea,” Lambert laughed and Jaskier sighed. “He also said there was no way you would agree with traveling with me.” 

“What!? That bastard, let’s do it.” 

“Now we’re talking!” Lambert smiled as he stood up, jaskier squeaking as he wrapped his arms around his witcher's neck, “Don’t worry pretty bard, I won’t drop you.” 

“You better not, now to the baths witcher!” 

He heard Lambert grumble, but he did what Jaskier said and he took it as a win. 

By the time Geralt and Eskel came in the baths, he and Lambert had everything ready and oh was Jaskier excited to see how this would work. Eskel only smiled widely at him while Geralt only nodded before both witchers were naked and in the water. 

“So, you two on better terms?” Jaskier only asked and Geralt only glared at Eskel who only grinned. 

“Geralt apparently didn’t like that I told you about the moat incident when we were younger.” 

“No I did not,” Geralt grumbled and Jaskier only chuckled as Eskel winked at the bard. 

It was quick to pull out the oils that he knew Geralt approved of and to line them up by the edge; he knew the water was going to turn blue but Lambert told him that it was an easy fix for the hot springs. He only gave Eskel a nod to show him that another one of Lambert’s plans were in the works and Eskel only hummed as he shrugged. 

Seemed like Eskel wasn’t going to stop anything and Lambert would be pleased if he were here. 

“Now Geralt, remember this one is to sit in your hair for a while before you wash it out.” 

Geralt only hummed as Jaskier poured the blue oil into white locks, capping the empty vial before he started to massage the oil into the hair. Geralt only hummed, his eyes slipping closed and Eskel only stared with wide eyes before he shook his head. Huh, Eskel really wasn’t going to stop this. 

Lambert would be more than pleased. 

“Alright, now just rest and let it do it’s thing.” Jaskier whispered as he frowned at the blueness of his hands. His hands better not be blue after this or he was going to make Lambert work for his forgiveness. 

Now all there was left was to wait and oh did Jaskier wait as he grinned. Eskel only looked amused as he climbed out of the springs, drying off quickly. It wasn’t long until Lambert waltzed in, looking absolutely ecstatic that Geralt still hadn't noticed yet. 

“Gonna head off now, you boys take care of yourselves,” Jaskier called before he was out of there, immediately going to his room to scrub the blue off his hands. It was difficult, and he wasn’t thrilled but after a few minutes most of it managed to come off. He would have to thank Lambert for leaving the water hot rather than cold. 

It was only a few moments later when he heard Geralt roar and he laughed. He could only hope that Lambert would come back to him in one piece. He only hoped that Geralt wouldn’t be too mad at him for allowing it to happen because, well, he did have a big hand in this one. 

He only grinned, he had what was coming to him anyway, he wasn’t going to regret it. And later on when they all sat down for dinner, Jaskier laughed to the point he was on the floor after looking at Geralt and all the blue that was his hair. 

“You’re not safe either Jaskier,” Gerat warned and Jaskier only nodded as he tried to breathe. 

“I think it suits you,” Eskel wheezed out and it only sent the rest of them back into fits of laughter. 

“Should have never allowed you two to meet,” Geralt growled as Lambert picked Jaskier up from the floor and into his lap. 

“Nah, it was the best thing you did.”  

“Don’t worry Geralt, lots of hot water and a little bit of time will get it out,” Jaskier offered as his apology and Geralt only shook his head before nodding, his quiet acceptance of his apology and Jaskier knew all was well. “But I still have to give you a piece of my mind White Wolf.” 

Geralt only frowned before he seemed to freeze and Jaskier knew that the other man got what exactly he was talking about. It also seemed Geralt knew there was no escape to it. Good. Let the man worry. Lambert was the best thing that happened to him and Geralt needed to have that drilled into him, apparently.

Just meant more fun for him in some ways. 

#parkkrys writes #jaskier x lambert #bombard #lambskier #the witcher #game lambert #jaskier #humor

[underpreparedbard]

I finally made a masterlist and my requests are currently OPEN! 

Send me your prompts for Witcher shenanigans✨

#the witcher #witcher #Witcher netflix #witcher fanfiction #geraskier #yennskier #geraskefer #jaskier x priscilla #jaskier x eskel #jaskier x lambert #basically Jaskier x everybody #Geralt x eskel #Geralt x lambert #lambert x eskel #Lambert x aiden #requests open

[peaktotheocean]

catchy

pairing: jaskier/lambert notes: written for flashfic 45 summary:

Lambert brings Jaskier to the farmer’s market.

It’s all downhill from there.

Jaskier normally had gigs on Friday nights. As much as Lambert loved seeing his partner perform, Saturday mornings were prime farmer’s market hours which meant Jaskier got home around the same time Lambert was preparing to head to the farm to help Geralt pack up.

He and his brothers had their system down to an exact science [most of the time]. Vesemir might have started what became their family farm a few decades prior but all his sons had stepped in with gusto [or eventual gusto in Lambert’s case] as they grew older.

On Saturdays, Eskel handled the cheeses. From molded goat cheeses and aged rounds to the metal vat of floating mozzarella balls he stirred with a wooden paddle every once in a while. Not to mention the occasional raw milk sale to the adventurous type who desperately wanted to attempt their own mozzarella. 

Lambert’s eldest brother hadn’t yet laughed in the face of a confident-turned-sheepish customer who followed up a raw milk purchase with a mozzarella order a week later. Wouldn’t do much for sales if he had, but Lambert saw Eskel tempted plenty of times. 

Geralt was in charge of the meats. 

No, not like that. Not if his wife had anything to say about it.

But more and more people wanted their meat, whether poultry, beef, or otherwise, right from the source and to know the animals were treated well, at least up until their slaughter. And Geralt provided that service with a smile [most of the time].

Yennefer took advantage of the trend too. Not just for the meats but all the products from the farm. She worked with smaller shops and local suppliers to get their farm label into stores and restaurants, not just at outdoor markets. She also got them a website for online preorders so occasionally, Geralt didn’t even have to talk to customers. All he had to do was take a look at their order number, open the big freezer chest, and hand over the packaged meat.

While growing up on the farm, Lambert never imagined staying there. The grumpy teenager he used to be wanted nothing much to do with livestock or his family.

Adult Lambert was still a grumpy bastard, don’t him wrong. But what he and his brothers built out of Vesemir’s dream? Successful in-demand products? Working with his brothers?Waking up to Jaskier in his bed every day? He wouldn’t trade it for the world.

And yes, perhaps he was a bit less grumpy now with Jaskier by his side. Not that he hadn't mellowed a bit regardless as he grew older, but certainly meeting the musician playing at Geralt and Yennefer's wedding had helped. 

Lambert knows he's monopolizing the guitarist’s time [Jaskier, he reminds himself, Jaskier's time], but he can't help himself. And if the way Jaskier is leaning into him is any indication, he doesn't seem to mind much. 

His eyes flick away just for a second, to the dance floor. There’s an older couple dancing to the pre-recorded track but beyond that, it’s empty, most guests opting to refresh their drinks during the band’s break. Lambert tries and fails not to picture himself leading Jaskier out onto the floor, holding him close, and swaying to the music.

When he looks back, Jaskier’s eyes are soft and it’s like the man just read Lambert’s mind.

"Darling, my break is only fifteen minutes. I'd love to dance with you but your sister--"

"Sister-in-law," Lambert corrects him, though he supposes that Yennefer is kind of his sister at this point. That’s how weddings work, right?

"Right then. Your sister-in-law will have my non-existent balls if she doesn't get all the music she's paid for."

He's right. Yennefer might be as close to marital bliss as possible for her and Geralt [which really just means they've been trying to escape for a quickie for the past half hour] but Jaskier's read on her is accurate. 

Even in his fuzzy dance floor fantasy, Lambert isn’t surprised when she comes back through the hall to demand extra time from the band in exchange for however long Lambert wants to spend with Jaskier in his arms. Which right now...is a long time.

"Tomorrow?"

"It's a date."

While Eskel handled the dairy and Geralt managed the butchery, Lambert usually took care of the egg sales. 

They offered quail, chicken, and duck eggs. Occasionally a few ostrich eggs when he could convince his friends over at Cranes to let him hawk a few. Not many buyers but the huge eggs certainly grabbed attention of people walking around. And once Lambert drew them in, he rarely had anyone leave without carrying a dozen eggs off with them.

The point was that it was rare for Jaskier to be attendance for a Saturday morning farmer’s market unless he showed up around noon with coffee and pastries for everyone.

So Lambert supposed that his first mistake was bringing Jaskier to the farmer’s market. The second was leaving him alone at the table for an extended period of time.

Long enough for Jaskier to take the very few eggs that had broken in transit and make some kind of twisted sculpture. Where had he even gotten string? Was that butcher’s twine? Geralt was an instigator and Lambert fully intended on enacting revenge at some point.. 

His mad boyfriend had set the some of the smaller quail eggs inside the empty chicken and duck eggs as well, hanging them off a wicker arch in what certainly must read as a warning to all poultry. 

“What the fuck?” Lambert managed to get out before remembering just where he was. All of Vesemir’s boys have gotten official warnings from the farmer’s market board about their swearing but they’ve yet to even attempt to ban them. Still, he doesn’t want to tempt fate.

Jaskier looked up from his book and smiled at brightly at just seeing Lambert that he almost forgot why he cursed in the first place. His partner’s smile turned into a sneaky smirk and Lambert  quickly remembered. 

“I thought we needed a catchy display,” Jaskier said calmly. He stuck his phone in the book as a placeholder and slid it onto the table behind the mountains of eggs and his “catchy display.”

“But why? It’s just the egg table.” Lambert rubbed against his temple.

“Yes, but there was nothing to showcase the eggs.” Jaskier was clearly trying to hide a bigger smile while Lambert attempted not to pull his hair out. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tackle Jaskier to the ground in general or to kiss him senseless. It often was a tough decision. 

“It’s a farmer’s market, not a craft show.” Lambert caught the eye of an older woman who was a regular and a mask fell over his face. A bland smile and a nod hello that very much said that he wasn’t at all exasperated with his partner.

Jaskier, the bastard, just kept going. “It’s a bit like a craft show!” He insisted, delighted that Lambert played along with him. “You made things and now you’re selling them.”

“I didn’t make these eggs,” Lambert reminded him which gained him such a leer that he wished he was behind the table to adjust his pants.

“No,” Jaskier murmured thoughtfully, his eyes narrowed. “I suppose you didn’t.” 

Before their banter could escalate into either shouting or PDA, little Ciri came skipping up to the egg table. 

“Uncle Lambert!” She squealed at a range that should be illegal before 10AM. “Do you like the display I made you!”

Lambert’s head shot up but it was too late, Jaskier was holding his book up in front of his face in order to laugh without his niece seeing it. 

“It’s wonderful, princess.” Lambert swallowed. “Very…inventive.”

“What’s in-ven-tive?” Ciri sounded out as she wandered the perimeter of the table, peeking at each egg as though it perhaps would magically hatch. Jaskier saw his opportunity to herd her away from anymore breakable items and did just that, leaving the table’s chair vacant for Lambert to gaze at longingly.

“It means that people will be so captivated by your art that they’ll be drawn in!” Jaskier motioned to the slowly increasing crowd entering the market’s field. “They’ll be so compelled to stop at our table and once they’re here, they won’t be leaving without eggs.”  

Ciri’s eyes shone brightly, captivated by her uncle’s explanation. She came around and hung off of his waist even as he gesticulated.

“Now Lambert…” Jaskier started, too sweetly, and mildly threatening. By god, Lambert loved this man. “You were saying something about the display?”

Lambert reminded himself how much he loved the two people in front of him. And how Yennefer and Geralt would eviscerate him if he made their little girl cry.

“Just how marvelous it is,” he told her, hands on his knees and leaning towards her.

There was that squeal again and Lambert shook his head. Ciri took the opportunity to rush around and admire her art again while Lambert grabbed Jaskier’s waist. 

“You absolute twat,” he whispered into Jaskier’s ear, punctuated it with a kiss.

“I know you are, but what am I,” Jaskier teased. Two could play that game.

“I’ll show you after we pack up for the day.”

“Promises, promises.”   

From the front of the table, Ciri looked up and announced, “Uncle Jask, I’m hungry.”

“Well, we certainly cannot have that.” Jaskier unwound himself from Lambert’s arms, kissing him as an apology and a promise both in one. He snagged his phone off the table and stuck in his back pocket. “We simply must go forage for sustenance. I’m thinking breakfast sandwiches, sweetness. How does that sound?”

“Yes please!”

“Darling, would you like one?” Jaskier called over his shoulder. 

“Yes, please,” Lambert grumbled with a sigh. Jaskier kissed him on the cheek one last time and sauntered off, Ciri in tow, still chattering. 

Lambert lets himself flop down into the chair and watches them both go, right through the hole in Ciri’s monstrous egg sculpture.

By god, he did love his life. 

-

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on ao3 here

#jaskier x lambert #bombard #this is my fic tag

[spielzeugkaiser]

Ages ago I got an ask about Jaskier singing 'burn butcher burn' and Geralt listening in, but I truly think Jaskier is never performing that one again. OTHER SAD BREAKUP SONGS THO 👀

#jaskier #geralt of rivia #geraskier #the witcher #geralt x jaskier #the witcher netflix #ciri #lambert #eskel #Jaskier: is simply vibing at kaer morhen and going through his repertoire like :) #the rest is getting punched in the throat #I too would cry like the driads in S3 if I heard Joey Batey perform a lovesong right in front of me #also grow as a we go is a ben platt song that always comes and punches my right through the ribs #just a silly little post!!

[loki-is-my-kink-awakening]

Thanks to @flightsfancy22 for this idea.

Modern AU. Geralt owns a bar and it's Jaskier’s local, so he is in all the time. There's a karaoke night that Jaskier loves. He's always making dreamy eyes at the handsome guy behind the bar (Geralt) but he's grumpy and doesn't interact with Jaskier.

Jaskier is in so often that he ends up meeting Geralt's family. There's Vesemir, his adopted dad, Eskel, his shy brother and Lambert, his outspoken brother. Jaskier clicks with Lambert straight away and they have easy banter.

One day, Jaskier is reading funny things out from Twitter to Lambert as they both sit at the bar, Geralt ignoring them, and Jaskier finds a story on a counsellor who refused to believe two people were actually a couple because of how little they knew about each other, and Lambert says they should go to counselling and see if they can make a therapist believe they are together.

Before Geralt can even raise his eyebrows, Jaskier is on the phone arranging it. Lambert is laughing and Geralt just carries on cleaning glasses with a concerned look on his face.

Then the counselling begins..... and it's Yennefer.

1. I'm imagining a scenario where Yennefer asks them what each other's surnames are and, obviously, they don't know but Jaskier lies and Lambert just goes with it.

Or it's around Jaskier's real name, which Lambert doesn't know

2. Yennefer asks how their sex life is and they both bullshit their way through it, like they are both studs in bed, because natch.

3. When Yennefer asks "Well, what is wrong with your relationship?" Lambert perks up and complains that Jaskier makes moon eyes at his brother. Jaskier guffaws and Yennefer ignores him, asking Lambert for more details.

It all started out so well but now Jaskier picks fights with Lambert as soon as they get out of each session, asking him why he said such and such.

On those days, it makes things tense in the pub. Cue Geralt and Eskel and Vesemir trying their best to support them but also stay out of whatever this is.

Eventually, they do fall into bed together because when they talk about how great their imagined sex life is, it turns them on so much they have to do it. It's not as great as they imagined in many ways (less acrobatic) but it's the revelation they both need.

Which results in them going to therapy for real and confessing to Yennefer what they did. Yennefer is not surprised, probably knew all along and was just waiting for this to happen.

#jaskier #jaskier x lambert #the witcher #fic idea #alt text in image