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kakakakashi · 4 years

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Oh my fucking NSFW alphabet and me not asking for Kakashi 👀

I knew he was gonna be first. I knew it. This one is LOOOOOOOOOONG, and idk if they’ll all be this long, but I couldn’t help myself.

*NSFW under the cut*

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

It depends on what you did. Kakashi is a wild card when it comes to the bedroom. He likes a lot of different things, and he likes it rough most of the time. The aftercare varies accordingly, but he always makes sure that you’re good before he falls asleep. Please, do the same for him if you’re rough with him. The man will claim you don’t need to coddle him, but he’ll melt if you take care of him.

B - Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

…….. Do you even have to ask me this question? The man has called your ass proof of some god’s existence at some point or another. He’s a fan of your legs too, especially in combination with your ass, but like… It’s the booty that gets this man going every time.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He loves a good facial. I just… I don’t know what to tell you. Like… it is what it is. You can’t convince me that it’s his favorite place to cum. Second favorite is inside you, but that’s another story.

D - Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I don’t think Kakashi necessarily has a dirty secret that he’d never tell you. He definitely takes a while to open up about things, but like, once he’s open with you and you’re open with him, anything goes. I’ll expand on this later.

E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Kakashi isn’t necessarily experienced regarding the number of partners he’s had. I know a lot of people think he’s a sex fiend, but I just can’t see it. I think with his mental state, his fear of vulnerability, and the self-loathing and overwhelming guilt he obviously deals with on a day to day basis, somewhere deep down in his subconscious, he doesn’t believe that he deserves to be loved in any way, shape, or formed. I feel like that’s part of why he reads Icha Icha too. Like, he wants that connection, but he believes he can never have it. That said, Icha Icha opened a lot of doors for him. I think that because of that, he does know what he’s doing. It’s how he discovered a lot of his kinks in my opinion. He’s had a few partners at certain points in his life, but not an obscene amount. However, he does know what he’s doing. The man’s done his research.

F - Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

I’m sorry. You expect him to pick one? It depends on a lot of things to him. I think he sees all the pros & cons of different positions in different situations and adjusts accordingly. I think he likes it best when you fuck him & have his legs over your shoulders, though. If he’s fucking you, though, he likes to take you from behind in front of a mirror.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Again, I think it depends on what you’re doing. Mostly, he’s serious, but he knows how to crack a joke at the perfect moment to make everything all that much better. He’s 500% going to tease you, though. That’s another story. He’s a little shit, so he’ll joke around in that sense.

H - Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Okay, unpopular opinion here. I think Kakashi rocks a bush. I honestly do. If you wanted him to trim, he will, but I don’t think he’d go bare. This is mostly because he doesn’t have anyone to impress like ever, and nobody ever sees him naked like ever. Not to mention, he doesn’t necessarily have the time to keep up with grooming when he’s on missions and such, especially if he tried to go bare. Like, he doesn’t have the time or energy to deal with preventing ingrowns and taking care of the skin irritation. Therefore, I think he’s just to the point of “You know what? Fuck it.” The man doesn’t have time for that shit. He likes as minimal effort as possible. It’s actually really hot though, and it works for him somehow. The carpet does match the drapes as well. Down there is just slightly darker.

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Again, I think it just depends on the surrounding circumstances. Sex as a whole is already a really intimate experience for Kakashi. Even if it’s rough and dominant, it’s still intimate for him. When it comes to romance, it depends on the vibe between you at the moment. If he’s just come back from a mission where he’s so tired, but he missed you so much, and the both of you just want to hold each other, he’s the most romantic. However, if he’s calling you names while your cherry red ass is up in the air, it’s not necessarily romantic. However, if you’re pegging him and calling him a good boy or something in the “not necessarily romantic” category, there’s still an element of romance to it because you know that you care about each other, and that’s why you’re in the situation you’re in. You know Kakashi trusts you to make him feel good, and he knows you trust him in the same way. It’s a more of an unspoken connection where you care about each other’s pleasure as opposed to an empty rose petals and candles kind of thing.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He loves it when you make him touch himself for you. He loves to make you touch yourself for him too. Also, I have a kind of specific hc about this, and it goes with what I wrote here. So, after you and Kakashi open up about what you do and don’t like, you set up boundaries & agree to certain things & all that fun stuff. Now, if you discuss it & consent to it, even as just an rp situation or something, I can 500% see Kakashi doing something along the lines of this. When he catches you touching yourself or even just changing or naked or something. He might start jerking off while you have no idea he’s there. I feel like watching you would make him so hard, and he’d just fuckin blow if he could get away with it without you noticing. Omg, and if you punish him for being a pervert after, god, the man’s in love.

Omg, and if you heard him come in or something, but just let him fuck his hand while you put on a show for him until he’s about to come before you tell him you knew he was there the whole time, he’s gonna spill as soon as the words leave your mouth. Like, it’s just so hot to him.

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I think it’s easier to list kinks he doesn’t have? Anyway, I’m just gonna do some of them. He likes pegging, dirty talk, degradation, humiliation, praise, voyeurism, exhibitionism, spanking (both heavy and light), edging, overstimulation, forced orgasms, bondage, sensory deprivation, hair pulling, and many more. Lol.

He also has some more questionable kinks including his thing for feet that’s not quite the usual fetish, but like, if you suggested giving him a foot job, he wouldn’t say no. Not to mention, if you’re being dominant, he’s kind of into you calling him a bad dog while he’s tied up on the floor and humping your leg. Whoops. Did I say that out loud?

L - Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Tbh, Kakashi loves the risk involved with potentially getting caught. Idk why, but I just have this gut feeling. Like, it really just gets his rocks off somehow. So, he’d probably like anywhere semipublic. Like, in a bathroom or against a tree while you’re away from the campsite on a mission. He’s not going to shove his hand down your pants when people are around, but he likes there to be a slight element of risk. I think he’d prefer people to hear what you’re doing as opposed to potentially seeing anything if that makes sense. Although, other than that, I do think he’s partial to the bedroom because you guys can entertain more of your kinks in the privacy of home. I mean, you can’t really peg him while you’re on a mission. Ya know.

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Tbh, I think it depends. If you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, he’s stubborn, and he won’t give in. For example, if you’re on an important mission that has a lot of risks. Kakashi isn’t going to neglect his responsibilities for a quickie. If anything, I think he’d be kind of upset that you wouldn’t value the delicate nature of the situation. I also think that if anybody else tried to get him going other than his partner, it would be like talking to a brick wall. He has no patience or energy to even act like he entertains it. If it’s you, and you’re, say, at home and just existing together, the slightest thing can set him off. Just a glimpse of skin or even just a memory of you. If you wear his clothes, smile at him, or even just say his name in a specific way, he’ll be in the mood.

N - NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don’t think Kakashi would ever use any form of ninjutsu on you. Like, I think he would be too terrified to hurt you, and it would trigger a lot in him.

In my opinion, it also takes Kakashi a loooooong time to get comfortable with you. You have to know him for years as friends before you get together. It takes a while for things to move forward. It takes a while for you guys to have sex. He definitely won’t break out all of his kinks at once. He really needs you to be patient until he’s ready to bring them up. If you try to push him too far too fast, I don’t think he’d be okay with that. However, if you’ve been with Kakashi long enough for him to really trust you 100%, I don’t think anything is really off limits.

O - Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I think we all know Kakashi’s good with his mouth. The man’s read enough smut to have countless tricks up his sleeve, and he undoubtedly pulls out all the stops to make you squirm. He’s going to find all your sensitive spots, and he’s going to abuse them until you’re so wound up you could scream. Then, he’s going to pull back just enough that you can’t get where you want and start the process over again.

However, while he loves giving, he fucking loves a good blow job. The man will be putty in your hands if you put your mouth on him. And if you let him fuck your face? Well, he’s definitely not lasting long. He loves making a mess of your face when he shoves his cock down your throat. It’s one of his favorite sights in the world.

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He can go either way depending on the mood, and I also think that he uses a combination of the two in order to drag out the pleasure as long as possible with you. He’ll start out so slow, but as things heat up, he’ll pick up the pace… only to slow down again and make you want to cry. He enjoys the same treatment very much as well.

Q - Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

You’re kidding, right? I don’t think Kakashi could ever say “no” to a quickie. The man loves them, especially if you might get caught.

R - Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

The man will try anything once. He’s so game.

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Okay, so I think Kakashi usually only goes for one or two rounds, but he lasts for a time that’s above average. Not to mention, it also depends on what you consider a “round” because he does tend to prefer to give you more orgasms than him. He just feels that it’s what he should do. He’s really a considerate partner in my opinion, and he will keep going somehow until you’re both satisfied, even if he has to take a quick break in between.

T - Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

The man has oodles of delicious toys. He loves using them on himself and on you. He also loves when you use them on yourself and on him. Toys are something he regularly enjoys using in the bedroom with you. He thinks they just bring everything to a whole new level, and they provide lots of fun and entertainment.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

You pull out a dictionary and look up the word tease? You’re gonna find a picture of Kakashi Hatake. The man’s merciless, and it makes him so fucking smug.

V - Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

It depends on where you are and what you’re doing. He can be loud when it’s really good, but he only lets those noises out in the comfort of home. He knows how to control himself and muffle the sounds he can’t contain. However, sometimes, he can be quiet as a mouse, all labored breaths and grunts into your ear. Either way, it’s a sound that shakes you to your core.

W - Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Kakashi in lacy little panties… just… *chef’s kiss*

Also, I hc that Kakashi gets really pink & flushed while having sex. Like, it would be super cute if he wasn’t making you see stars tbh.

X - X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I’m going to leave this art by @dianaii here. It’s exactly how I’ve always pictured that dumb dork. Also this art by @rrrotten because it’s a close second.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I think Kakashi’s got a weird combo here because he’s very athletic, so I think it would be above average. However, the man is depressed af, and his mental state is just a cocktail of mental issues, so I’d think it was below average. However, he reads Icha Icha all the time, so I think that would have an impact. The only thing is that Kakashi has literally said that his favorite part of the book is the plot, so what is the truth? Overall, I think he’s a really flexible partner who can really match whatever you bring to the table.

Z - ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

See aftercare. As soon as he’s sure you’re good, he’s gonna be napping. He’ll at least close his eyes and relax if his brain doesn’t quiet down enough for him to sleep, though.

#cherry's 300 follower celebration #naruto imagines #kakashi x reader #cherry has ideas sometimes #hi. i’m cherry queen of the sin bin.#Anonymous #cherry posts about ninja nerds #100

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randomized-ice · 4 years

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ROOT Reformed

Okay so you know how Yamato, Sai, and Shin were in ROOT? Well, what if Yamato had seen the two children, one so sick he was throwing up blood and the other so antisocial he kept getting bullied because of how he talked, and adopted them? The Dad!Yamato, and Child!Shin and Sai headcanons that nobody asked for coming right up :)

When Yamato first met Shin and Sai, Sai was hiding behind Shin because he accidentally insulted someone and got punched. Shin was trying to comfort the small boy and protect him.

Yamato then decided to adopt them both, he scared away the bullies and helped Sai cover his black eye, which looked worse than it was since Sai’s skin is so pale and markable.

When Yamato learned that Danzo was sending the two small children on B-Rank missions as PAWNS and they just barely survive all their missions, he personally whooped Danzo’s ass

Yamato was put in charge of Shin and Sai and the two children warmed up to him quickly

Yamato chasing Shin around the room trying to get him to eat vegetables

Yamato having to force veggies down two screeching kids throats

Shin and Sai doing target practice and Yamato tallying up the scores

Yamato training Sai and Shin on their jutsu

Yamato helping Shin reach his full potential with his ice powers

Yamato finding out how to make pieces of paper so Sai could draw all he wants

They have a huge garden in their backyard that they take care of.

Yamato growing different types of plants with his wood style jutsu and Shin and Sai reading books on how to take care of them

On Christmas, Yamato sneaked Shin and Sai out of Root so they could go to an actual party

Yamato introducing Shin and Sai to Kakashi

When Shin and Naruto first met, it was chaos at first sight

Sai following Yamato like a lost puppy and holding on to his pant leg until Yamato picks him up and put him on his shoulders

Yamato, Sai, and Shin cuddling by the fire like the smol beans they are

When Shin got really sick from his unnamed diease, they immediately went to see Tsunade, even though it took a week to track down the gambling lady

Tsunade getting full access to Root’s medical supplies so she can make sure Shin is okay

Shin surviving and being cured of his illness, NOT DYING BECAUSE HELL NO YAMATO WASN’T ABOUT TO HAVE HIS CHILD DIE, NOT TODAY SATAN

Sai and Shin keeping their memories and growing up with an actual parental influence

Yamato chasing a cackling child with a huge butchers knife around the house, both of them are yelling

Sai being the sassiest little shit in the world and everybody thinks he doesn’t know what he’s doing but Yamato’s just like “You sneaky lil’ shit-”

When Sai got to join Team Seven with Yamato, they brought Shin along as an ANBU “for the mission” when really, they didn’t want to leave him behind and come back to find the house destroyed

Yamato trying desperately to find where the hell Shin is getting all this cup ramen from and Sai is just not telling Yamato because he’s a lil’ shit

Shin third-wheeling with Kiba on all of Ino and Sai’s dates (Kiba third-wheels on everbody’s dates, its a fact)

KIBA x SHIN, KIBA x SHIN, KIBA x SHIN (I’m sorry I just need my dog boy-o to love somebody okay??)

Shin just randomly came home one day holding Kiba’s hand and Yamato immediately adopted him

IRUKA AND KAKASHI SHOW UP AND BAM (Yes, this is KakaYamaIru. Shhh-)

Naruto and Kiba calling each other “Brother” bc their father-figures are dating

Sai and Ino being quieter about their relationship than Shin and Kiba but they’re literally so damn cute oh my lord

Shin and Kiba going on dates that are mostly composed of running around the woods and chasing rabbits but they love it anyway

Yamato being a Proud Dad™

When Danzo died and the family got their curse marks removed and became real Leaf Village citizens they were overjoyed

Suddenly, the Leaf Village had about 100 more extremely talented teenage shinobi at their service

Yamato re-opening Root but this time, making it into a friendly place where everybody is supportive of one another

Sai and Shin helping people understand that they’re not alone anymore and it’s okay to have friends and be original because you’re one purpose in life is not to be a pawn for the Leaf Village anymore

Sai getting to decorate the ceilings of the Hatake Mansion with whatever designs he likes, making it not only beautiful but deadly

The Hatake Mansion having designs of tigers, birds, flowers, and symbols all over the roof

Murals of the person in their rooms (Naruto has a silly fox one, Kiba has a dog one, Kakashi has a lightning one, Yamato has a garden one, and so on.)

Yamato adopting Shino bc we need our bug boy to be noticed (COUGH COUGH NARUTO)

Shin running around the house, chasing a bee that stole his homework

Shin becoming a super energetic gym teacher at the Academy

Sai becoming an elite jounin and having a custom, crop-top uniform

Yamato becoming the nicest leader of an ANBU division there’s ever been

Shino and Sai being weird shitposting edgelords together

Sai and Ino baking cookies together only to find that Shin, Kiba, and Naruto ate them all

Iruka managing the chaotic household while being constantly cuddled by Kakashi and Yamato

Iruka teaching Sai about friendship and smiling

They have a huge ass garden

Yamato helping Ino and Sai at the Yamaka flower shop

When Sasuke returned, he was immediately adopted

The Hatake Household of Chaos

Sasuke, Shino, and Sai being weird shitposting edgelords

Anko as the weird aunt who came around only to fuck shit up and leave

Gai as a weird uncle and Lee as their favorite (and only) cousin

Kakashi making breakfast and dinner for about nine hungry people

Yamato making all the kids little lunches

When Orochimaru came back to the village, Shin and Sai both made sure that he was five feet away from Yamato at all times

They only began to trust Orochimaru when Sasuke told them that Orochimaru was his sensei/father-figure and the supporting father figure he never had

Orochimaru apologizing to Yamato for testing on him

Orochimaru becoming a father figure to Yamato and Sasuke

GRANDPA OROCHIMARU

Orochimaru and Shino talking about bugs and snakes

Shin, Naruto, and Kiba chasing a yelling Orochimaru around the house with a bunch of marigolds and ammonia (snakes hate those)

Iruka trying to make peace with the marigold and ammonia welding children and a terrified Orochimaru

Tsunade coming over to see her favorite little brat (Kakashi)

GRANDMA TSUNADE

Tsunade secretly supplying the children with marigolds and ammonia to get back at her old friend (Petty revenge is a bitch)

Orochimaru tricking Sai into calling Tsunade old

Tsunade never sending Jiraiya on that mission alone, she sent Kakashi with him and they managed to win the fight. Barely, they were in a coma for a few weeks, but they sure as hell won.

TSUNADE AND SAKURA BEING ABLE TO HEAL ITACHI AND THEN ITACHI WAS ADOPTED

HATAKE HOUSEHOLD OF PURE AND UNRESTRAINED CHAOS

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tarithenurse · 3 years

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Nightingale - 36

Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Hatake Kakashi &/x Fem!OC Contents: Some angst and frustration and blaming and stuff. A/N: As usual, ASK or REBLOG for tag! HUUUGE thanks to all who are reblogging already <3

Ch. 36

Bursting through the hospital’s door, Kakashi doesn’t even have to ask before a comrade points him down a hallway, fingers flashing “four” and “left”. Fourth door on the left, got it. It’s hard to refrain from running and he can feel the back of his knees itch to give in to the last sprint. A few of the rooms he pass are open, showing patients that are enjoying the view of the outdoor serenity – happy despite whatever ails them and the white-haired jōnin can’t help but envy them. He hates the uncertainty.

As an ANBU, he had been praised for his skills as an assassin and his ability to gather intel regardless of the costs. Calm, logical, his personal needs always secondary to the mission, nothing was able to unsettle him as he took his time to think things through and diligently investigate or interrogate until every detail was clear to him. Then, and only then, would Kakashi study how the pieces fitted together.

It’s different now. He rushed, neglecting to ask the most obvious witness for information and he freezes with the hand hovering above the door handle. She’s fine. Cold, probably tired too. I’ll see her sleeping in a bed. Still, his worst fears are cackling inside his mind, jeering and laughing because there’s a risk this is the last moment he can make himself believe that.

Steeling himself with a deep breath, Kakashi opens the door as calmly as he can and strides into the room.

One of the four beds (the first on the left) is unused and a nurse has claimed it for the extra stacks of blankets and hot water bottles she’s tugging around the person in the neighbouring bed – it’s impossible to see who’s lying there, but the visitor’s eyes have already moved across the aisle where both beds are occupied. Judging by the size of the “cocoon” nearest, it’s either Daen or Mimura shivering there. Another nurse is dragging the curtain from around the last bed away.

“So can I go?” Uguïsu asks impatiently as she is (theoretically) revealed.

A deep sigh hints that this isn’t the first time this subject has been brought up. “Not yet.”

“Damnit, Minami,” the cocoon groans with Daen’s voice, “just let them do their job or Hatake’s gonna whoop my ass even more.”

“Not if she’s the one causing trouble,” Kakashi soothes.

They can’t see his smile and even if they could, they wouldn’t know if it’s because of Uguïsu’s stiffled gasp of happiness or her teammate’s groan.

The nurse fills him in tersely and efficient: the two men are suffering from acute hypothermia (Mimura being the one who’s worst off and currently in shock due to it) while their rookie primarily is plagued by frostbite to hands and feet.

“She wasn’t even wearing gloves upon arrival,” the nurse tuts disapprovingly, “instead, they were crammed around her captain’s feet as an extra layer.”

It turns out, according to Daen (with a few corrections from the sideline), the men had judged they’d be able to make it back to Konoha through the shelter of the forest...but instead got caught in the blizzard. When eventually it became clear that it would be near suicidal to try to continue, Mimura had used what little energy he had left to create a wall of clay leaning against a tree before succumbing, lying down on the ground as his team tried to improve the inadequate hideout. The last thing the second in command recalls from the night is following Uguïsu’s orders to bundle up tightly with their comrade, their layers combined to shield them both and ensure they shared the heat as best as possible while the blue-haired woman kept closing up the sides of the shelter with snow. He had woken up to the sounds of voices.

“Forgive us, senpai,” he laments.

In all honesty, Kakashi doesn’t feel like accepting the apology. Any jōnin worth their salt should have been able to predict the change in weather and known of the consequences that disregarding it could have. They got off light. On the other hand, there doesn’t seem to have been any ill intentions.

“They’ll be fine, Hatake-sama,” the nurse reports, “for now the men need to recover and the girl’s hands must heal.”

The limbs in question are wrapped in bandages, reportedly with a thick ointment covering the wounds from the frost. Although attended by a healer to a certain extend, complete recovery will have to take time as their are more important ailments to worry about at the hospital. Neither Kakashi nor Uguïsu complains about the decision.

“A doctor will see to it tomorrow a-”

“Tomorrow?!” the impatient patient interrupts, “I’ll have to stay here till then?”

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sendryl · 4 years

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When You Chase All the Dreams Inside Your Head smut please!

This one is a KakaObi Juukashi valentine au (based entirely on @sloaners lovely and hilarious Juukashi au) and it already has a fic, but it was from back when I was still pretending to be innocent and wasn't writing smut yet... So there's a fade to black kind of ending, and then I have the start of the smut chapter as a wip and I chickened out finishing it at the time.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22732156

There's the link to the posted fic.

And here's the smut wip snippet, in three disjointed parts, lol.

***

“Waiting can be fun too though,” Kakashi drawls as Obito tugs him toward the bed, his wicked smirk practically audible. “And we have all night, at the very least. We have plenty of time to experiment.”

Obito groans in arousal and exasperation in equal measure as he pulls Kakashi forward and throws him onto the bed.

Kakashi lets himself fall but doesn’t let go of Obito’s hand, yanking him down after him with a whoop of glee. Obito trips over Kakashi’s purposefully outstretched legs and lands on top of him, knocking the breath out of them both.

“For example,” Kakashi wheezes as they both catch their breath again, hanging halfway off the bed, “I really like this.”

He thrusts up against Obito for emphasis and Obito moans, feeling Kakashi’s hard cock press against his thigh.

Kakashi chuckles, his laughter throaty and deep.

“Judging by that response, I’m going to go ahead and say you liked that too,” he says, reaching a hand down between their bodies to press against Obito’s cock through his pants.

Obito would complain about how articulate Kakashi still is when he’s been reduced to animalistic sounds, but he’s been reduced to animalistic sounds.

Obito whines, pushing himself into Kakashi’s hand instinctively, and Kakashi shudders beneath him, palming his cock and gripping Obito’s ass with his other hand.

Kakashi leans up and captures Obito’s mouth in a bruising kiss, and when he starts biting at Obito’s lip, that’s it, Obito’s gone.

His hands wind up on either side of Kakashi’s head, and he’s able to plant his feet and prop himself up enough to get some leverage, thrusting against Kakashi in a desperate rhythm.

(Obito pulls back before they actually have sex, and wants to make sure Kakashi knows this isn't just about his body, or who he used to be, or anything like that. Kakashi misunderstands at first, and isn't sure why Obito wants to pause, or maybe even stop.)

“You’ve done this before, right?” Kakashi asks, a little hesitant and almost sad, and Obito nods before he can get the wrong idea.

“Yeah, but,” he pauses, not sure exactly how to say what he means. Sex with Kakashi is different. It’s already so different from anyone else he’s slept with, because those were all one-night stands or friends-with-benefits while this… This means something.

Kakashi’s still waiting for his answer, so Obito gathers his scattered thoughts and finally says, “This is different. It’s you. I’ve never slept with someone who actually meant something to me.”

He’s blushing, he can feel the blood rushing to his face and heating his ears, but it’s worth all the embarrassment in the world to see the way Kakashi’s mouth drops open just enough for Obito to see the tips of his fangs, the way his eyes go soft and… And… Loving. That’s the only word Obito can use to describe the way Kakashi is looking at him.

He’s not brave enough to say it aloud, not yet, not until he can prove to himself that Kakashi really is going to stay for good, but he’s pretty sure Kakashi already knows how he feels, even after all these years.

He hopes his feelings are still returned. Only time will tell.

“I’m so glad your shoulder spikes are flexible,” Obito pants, pressing his face against them and feeling them give way, “I’d be worried for my eye, otherwise.”

Kakashi chuckles, briefly, then corrects him. “They’re not spikes, they’re tails.”

Obito pulls back just enough to see Kakashi’s face, confused.

“Tails?” He asks, unsure he heard correctly. When Kakashi only nods, and doesn’t explain any further, he sits back properly, ignoring Kakashi’s disappointed groan and his adorable grabby hands motion. “How can they be tails? They’re on your shoulders.”

Kakashi drops his hands to Obito’s thighs, giving up on pulling him in for the moment, choosing to slowly slide his hands up and in.

“Tails,” he repeats with a filthy smirk at Obito’s shudder, even less helpful than before. “I have ten.”

Obito feels something pressing against his back then, a strong push shoving him forward, but he doesn’t fall all the way.

Instead he’s caught, held up over Kakashi by thick greenish white tails, wrapped around his upper arms.

“Tails?” Obito whines, his brain overheating as it darts through brief flashes of possibilities, and Kakashi’s only answer is to lower him just enough to kiss him again.

***

And then I realized I was about to write monsterfucking and my brain overheated. XD

#naruto #My writing #KakaObi #Smut #Lemon #Juukashi #I just reread this and it's a lot cuter and better than I remember it being XD #My fanfic #My wips #Gotta finish this sometime #Get real tipsy and read some monsterfucking fic for inspiration and just go for it #Lol

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merrrcurius · 5 years

Text

some step-papashi for you hoes

i’ve written several scenes for myself and i’m having a lot of fun with this au, but i’m not sure if i should add to my growing pile of wip’s on ao3 lol... lotta pressure, but i’m down if y’all are?

the gist: kakashi is a fine-ass soccer coach who cares. the following circumstances bring our two fav people together.

Fingers thrumming against the steering wheel in rhythm to the rock song playing on the radio, Kakashi drove down the winding exit of the park debating the pros and cons of cooking dinner or picking up takeout. The barbeque colored street lights illuminating the road made him crave some type of meat, but that would take too long to cook and he was feeling particularly lazy tonight.

Dealing with his latest team of brats tend to put him in the mood to sloth out for an indeterminate amount of time. Tonight had been rough. It was only the third week of practice with his new team and already he wanted to strangle these kids. They were a bunch of little shits that needed an ass-whooping, especially Tenzo’s team. Unfortunately, he could only dole out so many laps and exercises as punishment before the kids began complaining to their parents and then the parents started complaining to them…

Kakashi had to remind himself that he actually enjoyed coaching.

Whatever his food choice, or lack thereof, a hot shower and some smutty fanfiction on the back porch would conclude his day. Forget answering emails, cleaning his cleats, or managing the gym’s finances. All of that could be saved for tomorrow. He'd rather starve than waste any precious time relaxing, especially since The-Toad-Master's new chapter should have updated during practice if the last author’s note was anything to go by. Kakashi glanced at the clock on his dash and shift impatiently in his seat. Oh yeah, I'm way late.

Slowing down for the stoplight at the end of the drive, the man looked both ways out of habit despite the empty highway only to do a double-take at the sight of one of his U-10 soccer players sitting on a bus bench. Yanking up the mask he'd left hanging around his neck to hide his “degeneracy”, Kakashi rolled down the passenger window and called out to her. “Yo."

She was either really smart or really stupid for ignoring him. Kakashi cleared his throat as he turned the knob down on the radio and said a bit louder, “Sarada.”

“Coach!” The little brunette startled, fumbling her flip phone like a football before turning to gape at him. “Ah - hi! It’s you!” She squeaked and tucked her phone away. “W-What're you still doing here?"

“Aa?” Kakashi cocked an eyebrow and withheld the amused chuckle bubbling in his throat. "I could ask you the same thing."

"Oh, um, this…" She gestured to the bench nervously and stuttered out, "I… I was just… er, you know… waiting."

“By the highway?” Kakashi asked and set his forearm on the steering wheel, giving a discreet glance around to emphasize that this was not acceptable. He cocked a brow. “What happened to the ride picking you up at the pavilion?”

Sarada pursed her lips angrily for a moment and tugged on the sleeves of her red jacket as if she were uncomfortable. Then muttered. “Er, s-something came up…”

“Okay…” Kakashi trailed off with a frown pulling at his mouth. Narrowing his eyes, Kakashi wiggled his fingers against the gearshift. Who the fuck leaves their - “But, wouldn’t it be safer to wait back at the field?”

“I’m fine, Coach! Really!”

“Maa," Kakashi sat back with sigh and ruffled his hair as he thought about what to do in this kind of situation. He wasn’t fit to be a parent - or a coach really - hell, this whole gig had only started out to log hours for community service. Considering that, did he have any right to judge another parent for something like this? He cast an uneasy eye at the kid. Yes. Yes, he did. Consternation coloring his tone, he said, “I dunno if I can let this slide. Come on, I’ll drive you back. We can practice drills while we wait for your ride.”

Sarada scrambled for the laminated square hanging on her backpack as she tried to explain her situation and said, “You don’t have to, Coach! I take the bus all the-”

Perhaps he had been to open handed with his instructions. Kids these days.

“That wasn’t a question.” Kakashi interrupted firmly and stared at her. The girl crossed her arms and attempt to hold a glare, refusing to move despite the nervous bounce to her leg. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her attitude and stated grimly, “If you make me step out of this car, you won’t be playing in next week’s game, Sarada. Get in.”

Sarada attempt to hold her ground a few more seconds until she heard his car door open and the overhead light came on. With a yelp, she ran to the passenger side door and yanked it open. Moving some binders for their stats and strategies out of the way, Kakashi eyed the large overnight bag she situated on his floorboard wondering if she was homeless but quickly dismissed that ridiculous thought. She was ten years old. And she had a mom. Although, that had never deterred him as a child...

Sighing inaudibly to mourn the chunk this would take out of his reading for the night, Kakashi twist in his seat to look for any cars behind him before pulling a u-turn in the entrance of the park. The ride back to the soccer field was quiet and tense; Kakashi pondering whether he had been too harsh on a child that wasn't even his about something not even sport related and Sarada embarrassed, worrying if opening the car door count towards her suspension.

Parked once more near the fields they'd claimed earlier in the evening, Kakashi reached under the seat to pull the lever and scoot his seat back for extra space to put his cleats back on. They were wet and muggy. He sighed.

“So, that’s what that smell was…”

Kakashi shot Sarada a look and retort. “More like your upper lip.”

Sarada blew a scoff through her lips to hide her laugh and turned away, crossing her arms defiantly. She muttered to the window, “What a lame comeback.”

“You’re just mad you don’t have anything to comeback with,” Kakashi mocked sassily, bobbing his head as he bent his leg for a better angle. Once his socks were snug in wet ass cleats again, he grabbed a ball from the backseat and stepped out.

Sarada didn’t budge from her spot.

Glancing back, Kakashi shrugged and decided to juggle while they wait. He couldn’t care less if she sat in the car and ignored him. After removing the doubts of his behavior, he'd decided it would simply be irresponsible of him to leave her by the highway and there was no way around that fact, even if Sarada chose to be stubborn about it. Perhaps, if she’d been smart and waited inside the pavilion like she’d originally said she would do... they wouldn’t be here. To think he had thought everyone was picked up. How had she managed to walk all the way to the exit without him noticing, anyways?

It didn’t take long for Sarada to get bored. She climbed out of his 4runner and stomped across the sidewalk to join him, a scowl maring her face. When he didn’t acknowledge her, she called out for him to pass. Looking all the world as if he were blatantly ignoring her, Kakashi turned away to take in the field with his hands on his hips. It was another cold night in January, a fine mist settling on some of the fields. He was glad the city park kept the lights on after dark, otherwise they would be in a pickle.

When asking didn’t work, she huffed and puffed before charging to take it by force. Kakashi smiled and adjust his mask as he await her approach. Her pigtails were whipping around her shoulders. Poor form. He needed to teach these kids how to run properly otherwise this season was going to suck. When she was close enough, he kicked the ball through the open stride between her feet at the last minute and walked around her.

Spinning to face him, Sarada growled impatiently, “Why won’t you pass? You said we would practice!”

“Why should I?" Kakashi teased as he dribbled circles around her. "It’s no fun passing to a grump.”

“I’m not a grump! You’re a grump, old man!”

“Old man, eh?” A chuckle huffed through his mask as he backpedaled away from her, dragging the ball with him as he taunt her. “At least, I can keep the ball.”

“I’ll show you!” Sarada yelled and dove in, leaving her stance wide open when she ran up.

He nutmegged her a second time and kept running toward the goal in case she tried to kick him like a savage brat. These kids were vicious. He called over his shoulder, "Maa, what was that, Sarada-chan?"

Now, normally, he’d feel bad for showing up a little kid, but not tonight. Sarada and Boruto had argued all two hours of practice about something completely unrelated to soccer. She deserved it for giving everyone a headache. Everyone being him and Tenzo. The kids thought it was hilarious.

“What a coward! You can’t run away!”

Stopping short with one foot on the ball and one hand rubbing his masked chin, Kakashi looked to the sky and said, "What were you showing me again? I can’t remember.”

Sarada bellowed a funny little shannaro he'd learned the girl favored over the last few weeks before he heard her running at him again.

Kakashi tucked his hands in his sweats as he waited patiently and listened to her cleats tearing into the ground. He had to admit, for a nine-year-old with poor form, what Sarada lacked in defense, she made up for in speed when she got going. Glancing behind him to confirm her position, he wait three more seconds and rolled the ball behind him, effectively nutmegging her again with his back turned. She squeaked and ran straight into him since he didn’t move. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “Hmm… how should I put this? You suck, Sarada-chan."

“O-m-g, whatever! I’m done!” Sarada yelled and kicked the grass angrily. “I should have caught the bus. This is stupid!”

“You’d be waiting till six in the morning for that.” Kakashi said, idly dragging the soccer ball back and forth under his foot as he watched her throw a fit.

Sarada stopped suddenly and looked up at him. “What? Why?”

“The bus doesn’t run this late, goofball.” Kakashi crumpled his brow and said incredulously, “Maa, you weren’t kidding when you said you were new in town.”

“Seriously?” Sarada cried and threw her hands in the air as she fell back on her butt. “Why is this place like this! What am I supposed to do now? Mom will have to drive all the way across town just to pick me up now. This is terrible!”

Kakashi hummed quietly, allowing his judgemental confusion to bubble for a moment as he swayed back and forth with his hands in his pockets. Then, he asked, “Doesn’t she usually?”

“Yes sir, but not this time.” She mumbled and crossed her arms angrily.

“Well…” Damn, now he had to know. Sarada’s mom was pretty exotic and hella feisty. She punched one of the dad’s in the head at open tryouts for saying something or another. He’d never seen anything like it. It was one of the only times Kakashi wished he indulged in gossip with the parents. After a moment of deliberation, Kakashi adjust his mask nervously, afraid of overstepping boundaries and asked, “What about your dad?”

“Um… He’s not...” Tiny fingers pulled at the grass beneath her, ripping patches out until she found words. She looked across the fields and said quietly, “Around… very often.”

“Aa, I see...” Kakashi said, gaze flickering between her face and her angry sundering of the grass. He hadn’t known Sakura was a single mother, although he shouldn’t have been surprised. Both parents usually showed up for Opening Day, took turns picking their kids up, or showed up to watch the first game at the very least, but he hadn’t seen any male that fit the description. “And you don’t have anyone else to pick you up? Maybe a grandmother?”

“We don’t have family here. My mom was offered a better job at the hospital, so… we moved.” Sarada shook her head at the ground, too busy cleaving grass in two to notice his awkward inner dialogue. She ducked her head and sniffled. “I’m really sorry, Coach. I didn’t mean to… for this...”

Mild panic shot through his system realizing this little girl was about to cry. Fuck. Why? It wasn’t that big of a deal. Things like this happened. It couldn’t be helped. Kakashi sucked in a breath of air as he crouched in front of her and plucked a few grass strands of his own. He wasn’t good at small-talk or emotions, he knew this and that was fine. Coaching was easy in a way that allowed him to be a hardass, strict and precise without all the extra stuff, but this… He really should work on his people-skills if he wanted to continue working with kids.

What could he say? What exactly should he do? The girl claimed she rode the bus often, she even had a laminated bus pass, although it was for a different city, but leaving her unsupervised was just… not his forte. Children weren’t supposed to be left alone so young. It was strange that her mother would allow this and yet it seemed she actually wasn’t, somehow. “Sarada... next time your mom has to work late, just hang out at the field. Alright? It’s no big deal, I’ll wait until-”

“No! It’s not her fault this time! Please don’t kick me off the team!” Sarada cried out suddenly, big watery eyes gazing up at him imploringly. “Dad was supposed to be here, to-to pick me up f-for dinner - but... but something came up-” Sarada snapped her jaw shut and looked away, face twisted with all the fury of a child betrayed. Tears steadily dripped down her chin despite how fast she was attempting to wipe them away.

Kakashi rotate his jaw as he bowed his head to give her a moment of privacy, and if he also happened to be avoiding her emotional display, well, he never said he was a good coach. Her words weighed heavily on his chest, uncomfortably close to his own childhood wounds and he didn’t want to think about it. He pressed his thumbnail into a blade of grass and watched it split.

“It’s just… It’s so embarrassing! I don’t want everyone to know and I didn’t want them to think I was getting extra p-practice like my last team. They started a whole crap ton of drama and Boruto w-would only make fun of me and call m-me a loser if he knew.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that butthead.” Kakashi said as he tossed his grass blades at her, jumping on the chance to turn this conversation elsewhere. “If they thought you were getting special training, they’d probably ask me for extra on the sly, too. You’d be a trendsetter.”

Sarada’s face lit up with a small giggle, but it died out quickly. She wiped her nose and looked up at him nervously. “S-Still, wouldn’t you have to wait here the whole time? I mean, my last coach got… he got really mad when I had to stay late and eventually told my mom to stop bringing me... I-I don’t wanna h-hic-old you up…”

Kakashi frowned at the thought of a nine year old taking the bus in a city as big as Konoha and wondered what in the fuck was wrong with whoever she’d had last year. Coaches had a duty to the kids while they were in their care, they owed that to the parents. To abuse or neglect those unspoken vows was just... wrong. Kakashi suddenly felt lucky to have had the kind of coaches he did growing up. He took a deep breath and prepared himself for his next words. If she had no one else to tell her what was wrong with this situation, then he would have to. That’s something he had loved about Minato-sensei. The man never let bullshit fly.

He picked at the bottom of his mask nervously, wishing he didn’t feel so constricted, wishing he felt more confident. Failure wasn’t an option, though. Lessons like this were imperative to learn at a young age, no matter how uncomfortable. Leveling a finger at her, Kakashi said perhaps too blunty, “Screw that guy. And your dad. It isn’t safe to sit by yourself next to the highway of all places, especially at this time of night… Do you understand what I’m trying to say, Sarada?”

Sarada looked down at her twisted hands and nodded meekly, eventually managing to croak out a weak ‘yes sir’ as another trail of tears dripped down her cheeks. Kakashi felt his insides twist painfully at the wobble in her lip. He hadn’t meant to make her feel worse or feel like it was her fault because it damn sure wasn’t. Maybe he should have worded it differently?

Running an anxious hand through his hair, he tugged at the ends as he bowed his head and tried to think of what to say to make her feel better, at the very least, turn this conversation to something easier so as not to end on a bad note. How would this look for her mom to drive up and see her daughter crying? There would be hell to pay, for sure. She may even take her daughter off the team and Kakashi couldn’t afford that. They only had two substitutes this year… He didn’t have kids, but he considered his soccer team to be pretty close to what it would feel like to have some and he didn’t want her to quit the team because of this or have hard feelings towards him and he hated to think of what she might be going through at home.

“Listen,” He began, dropping to his ass to mirror her as he took on a more gentle tone so it wouldn’t sound as if he were attacking her. “You don’t even have to say anything next time, okay? Just kick the ball around and if you haven’t left by the time everyone else has, I’ll understand what’s up. And I promise - Hey, look at me,” Kakashi wiggled a cleat in her line of sight and ducked his head to catch her watery eyes past the glare of her glasses. “I promise I won’t be mad. Or kick you off the team. That’s stupid.”

“Really?” Tears welled up in her eyes again as her face screwed up with emotion. Then she held out her pinky and wheezed out. “Pinky promise?”

“Aa,” A quiet, uncomfortable chuckle escaped him as he looked down. “My big toe’s stronger. How about that?”

“Ew, no! I’m not touching your big toe!” Sarada giggled a bit hysterically and scrubbed under her glasses to wipe her eyes.

“Are you sure?” Kakashi asked quickly and wrangled off a cleat to wiggle a sweaty sock at her. “Perfect timing. Big toe soup right here.”

Sarada shrieked and jumped up to run around him. He couldn’t help snickering as he pulled his shoe back on. Good. Things were… better. Okay, at least.

They passed the ball around a bit and he attempted to explain how to time a nutmeg until her mom arrived.

===

now that i’ve put this out, i’m debating whether or not to add their meeting when Sakura picks her up... i dunno yet. lemme know whatcha think peeps!

#kakasaku #fanfic #kakashi hatake #sakura haruno #sarada uchiha #fanfiction #anti sakura uchiha #look #i just don't care for the punk #alright #writing #soccer au #modern au #kakashi is a degenerate #or is he?#papashi #hatake kakashi #kakashi

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yazzydream · 5 years

Note

yazzy, i trust your taste so much now, since i found both russian roulette and heae the silence by your fanarts, so please rec' fanfiction

Oh maaaan. That’s so flattering. Lol.

Since you haven’t specified for which fandom, I’ll just post my very favorites in general:

As you’ve mentioned we’ve got

Hear the Silence by EmptySurface - [Naruto, SI OC]

Russian Roulette by Vixen_Tail - [KHR, SI OC]

(For those who don’t know them.)

Harry Potter

Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama - [AU] This one is… my all time favorite fic ever. It’s unfortunately not been updated since 2014 ;_; But still has 147 chapters. This is a ‘Voldemort won’ story where Harry stumbles back into the British Wizarding World and somehow Voldemort becomes his mentor. NOT Dark!Harry. That’s what’s so wonderful. You can see how the circumstances and changes in history led to everyone becoming the way they did while still being true to themselves.

Timely Errors by Worfe - [Harry Potter] A short sweet Harry-travels-to-the-Marauders-time fic. This actually has my favorite version of Harry.

Across the Universe by mira mirth - [Oneshot, time travel] This is… totally tropetastic and great. lmao. Like, you’ve got cynical Harry dimension traveling to a world where their Harry died that fateful Halloween night and James and Lily survived. The BWL is Neville. But it’s all from James’ pov who is simultaneously happy to have his first son back but is incredibly aware that Harry’s not what they expected to be.

Full circle by tetsurashian - [HUMOR, Harry/Voldemort] An absolute blast. This fic is so so fun. Harry and Voldemort/Tom have been in a neverending cycle of rebirth until they ended up in what seems to be their original timeline. There are all these amazing omake snapshots of their previous lives at the end of some chapters which are seriously amazing. My favorite so far is the life where they’re both girls who end up ruling their strict all girls-boarding school with an iron fist. lmao.

Ibex by AgeOfAlejandro - I will never get over how relieved I am I stumbled upon this fic again on AO3 after I thought I’d lost it forever years ago during one of FF.net’s purges. Uhh… how to explain this one. It’s Dark Lord Potter. The best version of dark!Harry imo. He’s manipulative and ruthless, but he still loves. All those things that make him care about people is still there. It’s just taken a backseat to what he feels is necessary. Last updated in 2012, so I’m not sure the author will come back to it, but it’s worth reading all the same.

Icarus by budchick - [Oneshot, Harry/Tom Riddle] It’s been a while since I read this. But Harry ends up in a world where Tom Riddle is raised by Tom Riddle Senior. It’s… well. He’s trying? But having a witch-boy who does some really scary shit and keeps traumatizing the servants is very stressful. Lol.

Naruto

Ghost by cywscross - [time travel] I am a trope whore. loool. So. We’ve got adult Naruto (aka Yuurei) time traveling to when his younger self was still with the original Team 7 to start off. And, I gotta say I love it when the older self mentors the younger version of themselves trope. This is all from younger Naruto’s pov.

The Guardian Crow by dianamoth - [SI OC] SI is reincarnated as a summons. It’s such a good idea that makes way for a less complicated life when compared to other SIs honestly. So It’s good to relax with.

With Nothing On My Tongue by sunshineinwriting - [team 7-centric] Naruto’s use of the kage bunshin changes a lot of things in how he absorbs information and matures. It sends a ripple down to everyone. Badass little child soldiers everywhere.

Claws Amidst the Cracks by Undead Artist - [OC-centric] Not quite self-insert, but OC-centric. And INCREDIBLY BRUTAL. Definitely heed the warnings. It’s super intense and fucked up, and made me cry so many times. OC wakes up as Sasuke in the aftermath of the massacre. OC, who is from our world, did not have a great life either. Anyway, it’s brilliantly written and I love it, but I know some people just cannot with how graphic it can get.

Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Chroma Diamonds by Brick - [KHR, R27, 2772, R2772, AU] Slow burn, best burn. We’re nowhere near the romance bits, and it’s fantastic. The set up is: No one came to train this universe’s Tsuna (and yes, other dimensions existing is a plot point) and he grows up kind of twisted with his Flame sealed. Tsuna’s not… a bad person per se. But without anyone there to kick his ass into gear, he makes decisions that would probably freak out canon!Tsuna. Lots of Flame lore and culture. Namimori is a mafia retirement town. Ayye.

Colorire by The_Plot_Bunny_Whisperer - Just a feel-good SkyArcobaleno!Tsuna fic, good to relax with.

Welkin by Shivani - Another SkyArcobaleno!Tsuna fic. This one’s… huh, actually the only bashing fic on this list actually. Lol.

Sidelines by esama - In one of those other universes that taken over by Byakuran, this Tsuna is the only one who remembers it when things are returned to “normal” by canon!Yuni.

For the Love of the Game by metisket - [Yamamoto-centric, character study] This snippet covers it pretty well: “It strikes him as weird that he’s had to struggle not to kill people, that it’s been such a challenge. He’s pretty sure that for most people, not being a murderer is way easier than being one.“

Undertale

Metamorphose by tuesday and The Great Boondoggle by Masu_Trout - [Oneshots] These are written by two separate authors but they follow similar themes and characterizations of Frisk which I adore. Which is that Frisk isn’t some sweet baby angel. All those possible choices that the player can make in Undertale? Yea, that’s part of their history. Frisk made those choices to kill or be killed, to commit genocide, or be a pacifist. Chara isn’t a separate entity that exists as a convenient scapegoat who possessed them. All those awful and wonderful things are part of their personality. It’s great. That said, neither of these fics are heavy/angsty.

Orot by MiniNephthys - [Oneshot] Post-neutral ending. Frisk returns to the Underground.

Crossovers

The Warrior & The Wolf by worldtravellingfly - [HP x Naruto Crossover, Oneshot, Fem!Harry, Harry/Kakashi] Kakashi reincarnated as Sirius’ son.

Somewhere Far from Victory by ewfte - [Naruto x BnHA Crossover] Kakashi is reincarnated as Todoroki Shouto. I’m not really into bnha, so I usually have the wiki open to me as I’m reading. Lol. But it’s so entertaining. It’s fascinating (and sad) seeing what Kakashi makes of the world where he isn’t required to kill for his village from age 6, but still has to deal with… you know, Endeavor.

Whispers in Corners by esama - [HP x Sherlock, Harry/Mycroft] Harry makes a living as a “psychic” calling up the spirits of the dead. Mycroft hires him to tie up some loose ends, and they end up building a relationship.

Impetus by Crunchysunrises - [BtVS x Hunger Games] Buffy ends up in District 12. Which implies there’s more to life outside the Districts which is a no go for the Capital. So barely even understanding each other’s language, Buffy is “chosen” for the Hunger Games. It’s amazing. Because Buffy’s this sweet delicate looking valley girl who likes makeup and looking good, but she can still kick the ass out of anyone in the Districts, and they don’t see it coming.

Others

Apples Equals Cyanide Equals Light by Silver Pard - [Death Note] A highly entertaining introspective by Ryuk about Light. Who really really was very different from other humans.

Brightly Burning by Aishuu - [Hikaru no Go] For want of nail. Basically, what if Hikaru hadn’t joined the Go world until after Sai disappeared? Hikaru is fucking terrifyingly strong and depressed, is what. This last updated in 2009… so probably discontinued. Lol.

No One Left To Blame by Wix - [Oneshot, Team Iron Man, Not Team-Cap Friendly] A one-shot that pretty neatly encapsulates what I think Team Cap deserved post-Civil War.

A Disturbance Beside Him by ghuune - [Daria, Daria/Trent, Smut] It’s sexy definitely, but it’s their characterization during and about sex with each other that really really sells it.

THIS ENDED UP SO MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I guess I had a lot more on my rec list than I thought. Or rather, when it comes to my favorite fics I always have to say something about it, don’t I? Whoops.

#fanfiction #replies #rikkikikki #replies 2019 #please excuse any typos...

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minimalexertion · 5 years

Text

Chapter 3

Lives Worth Saving

Chapter 3: Identifying the most Valuable People

Step 5 - Finding Valuable Lives

Every single character that displays the characteristics of a main character or important side character (e.g. strangely coloured/styled hair, overly-determined about a single goal, somehow inspires others because of that goal, makes everyone like them through actions etc.) will often have a tragic back story. However, you cannot save all of these lives. Some deaths are pivotal in the story to motivate other characters and drive them to accomplish things they would have never dreamed of.

The lives worth saving must tick off the following 5 requirements, known as 'The 5 Principles of Hasamelis':

Must have an important part in the story for the future;

Saving their lives will not, in anyway, impact the progress of the characters around them;

Their existence must contribute to the better good of the collective;

If a villain, they have shown remorse and/or guilt for their previous actions; and

The dimension traveller must not have, in anyway, have saved their lives because they were important to the traveller on a personal level.

Once the person has ticked off all 5 requirements, they are deemed as a 'salvum hominem' and their lives are now under your protection.

Handy Tip #7: Although we love redemption arcs, some villains will not be able to experience this despite your best efforts to push them in that direction. It is better to finish them where they are instead of wasting time listening to their tragic backstory.

Handy Tip #8: Try not get too attached to characters, which will hinder your abilities to perform this step. Instead, try to become friends with the characters that have a 90% ~ 100% chance of surviving until the end of the story {see the character profiles given by your assigned protector eorum for more information}.

Handy Tip #9: If you know the name of the "show" in which the new dimension exists, then the chances are that the show is named after the main character.

Note: Even though the main character is important, it is very rare that they will die, so you do not need to worry about their lives as much as you need to.

Opening the door to the Hokage's office with a quiet, "Pardon my intrusion," You slipped through the door, only to come face to face with 5 'strangers'. Well, you could recognise everyone there, but how creepy would it be for someone (who you don't know) to approach you and suddenly say, "Hey, kid. You don't know me but I know you, and you're going to be a raging psychopath hell-bent on revenge which will get your ass whooped more times than you would like."

Yeah, definitely not creepy at all.

The Hokage seemed to brighten up at your appearance, whilst the other 5 (2 adults and 3 children) looked baffled at your arrival. "Ah, [f.name]! Nice of you to join us at last." The Hokage said, his smile kind and his voice gentle.

Your eyebrow twitched, "No offence, Gramps. But, you literally made me wait outside for 1 hour just so we could have a a dramatic entrance where they'll think that I'm cool, so we'll all get along." You shot back snidely, the smirk dancing on your lips the only indication that it was a jest. Walking right up to the Hokage, punching his shoulder gently as a greeting (which would hopefully defuse the sudden appearance of strange tension in the room). The Hokage only shook his head, chuckling, as the adult with a scar across the bridge of his noise completely lost his mind.

'That man, I feel like I should know him. I knew I should've read those character profiles that 'stink-bag' [your 'guardian angel' was now currently demoted to insulting nicknames] gave me.' You thought, your eyes narrowed and finger scratching your chin as you stood there thinking about his face for a bit too long.

The familiar feeling of the Hokage's hand ruffling your [length] [colour] hair drew you back into the present, as he mockingly asked, "So, are you going to introduce yourself, [f.name]?"

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that." You replied, snapping back to reality. Turning your attention to the 3 kids and single adult in front of you, you quickly bowed, "I apologise for my rude behaviour. I am [f.name] [l.name], feel free to call me [f.name]. I hope we can all get along, like back in middle-school - not like any of you know what middle-school is. I just moved here a couple of weeks ago and I'm here for a good time, not a long time." You stood straight, a large smile on your face.

A small silence followed after your introduction, before the masked man with silver hair (which was, honestly, a little frightening at its apparent disregard for physics) waved, his one visible eye closed, and introduced himself, "I am Kakashi Hatake, your new teacher," He then gestured to the 3 kids, "And this is Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. We're glad to have you on our team."

Your [colour] eyes scanned over a blond boy, a pinkette, and a gloomy dark-haired boy. I mean seriously, the third kid could probably suck out all the light in a room. Before dismissing them as some random 'side-characters', you jolted, a nervous sweat breaking out on the palms of your hands. When you heard the name Naruto, you could feel the remains of your soul attempting to escape. You were on the team. The team with the main character, which will also mean the team with the hardest work. You had a suspicion that the blond child was Naruto, but now you were sure.

Great, chances of surviving past the age of 15 is probably now dwindling in the single digits.

I narrowed my only visible eye at this [colour] haired girl. She didn't look like she was strong, but she wasn't weak either. I let out a resigned sigh as Naruto immediately thought that it would be a good idea to start rambling about his 'skills' and ambitions, even going as far as to shove his entire body into the poor girl's personal space. Feeling the beginning of what would be the 15th headache of the day, I quickly stepped in as I saw Naruto start to roll up his sleeves.

"I'm going to be the Hokage one day, believe it!"

"Sure, buddy. Don't know why you have to scream it into my face, but you do you, boo."

"You don't believe me, do ya?!"

"Uh, you asked me if I believed you and I said sure, so I have no idea what you are screaming about."

"I'll show you!"

"Uh... okay?"

Swiftly grabbing Naruto by the collar of his orange jumpsuit, I sigh quietly, shooting the new girl an apology over Naruto's constant yelling, "Sorry about Naruto, [f.name]."

She just shrugged carelessly, finger gunning as she replied with a, "It's cool. Kid must have not had a good support system if he says stuff like that. I get it," Before casually strolling out the doors.

'She knows something.'

The moment I had exited the room, I felt the tension in my shoulders disappear. About to walk outside to bask in the sunlight before it became dark, I felt a hand grasp my shoulder. Hearing the Hokage's eerie voice, I shuddered, "Ah. [f.name]. Leaving so soon? We're just about to discuss mission details."

Snapping to attention, I quickly replied with a frightened screech and a salute before making my way back into the office, palms sweaty, knees weak, and arms heavy, as I gulped at the forced smile on the Hokage's face. Closing the door quietly behind me, I let out a nervous laugh as I met Sakura's quizzical gaze.

Turning my attention back to the Hokage, I quickly caught the next sentence out of his mouth, which made my jaw drop to the floor, "You will all be bodyguards on this C-rank mission."

Now, I know I haven't seen any episodes of Naruto, but I did read the episode synopsis of the first 20 episodes, so I sure as hell know that this is going to be a hard time for me.

Sweating slightly, I heard Sakura ask, worry evident in her tone, "[f.name], are you okay? You look a little pale."

Gulping slightly, I decided this would be the best time to pretend I was a fortune teller and thus put my excellent acting skills to use. Swooning slightly, I let out a groan as my eyelids fluttered quickly. Sakura quickly grabbed me in an attempt to hold me upright while I grasped onto her, looking her right in her bright green eyes with my own wide [colour] eyes, before muttering urgently, "Mirrors are dangerous. There's no way out!" Before collapsing onto the floor and into Sakura's arms.

"Sensei!!"

Sakura's piercing shriek made me aware of the credibility of my acting skills, which was only further strengthened by Naruto also screaming, Kakashi looking into my blank eyes, and the sound of the chair screeching as the Hokage rushed to my side.

"[f.name], what's wrong?! Are you okay?" The Hokage asked, his voice panicked and urgent. "What do you mean mirrors are dangerous and there's no way out?"

I let my body slump weakly onto the floor, before looking at Sasuke. Weakly raising a finger, I pointed to him, much to his displeasure (which I didn't necessarily care for since I was reveling in the look of disgust on his face) and quietly croaked out, "You will die in the mirror maze, Sasuke Uchiha."

With Sasuke's black eyes widened in shock, I remained a steady eye contact with him as I slowly lowered my arm, before closing my eyes for a quick snooze. If I wanted this to be realistic and say I have an overpowered ability, then there has to be major drawbacks, and the only thing I can think of right now is falling asleep right after a 'prediction.'

Ignoring the exclamations of the people around me, I let myself take a 10 minute nap, and to be completely honest, after all the shit I have been through and the stuff I have yet to experience, I think I deserved it.

Step 6 - How to Gain Trust

Just be "honest" and hardworking. Have the type of personality that everyone likes to be around. But you must have a few believable flaws, such as never being on time, always forgetting to wear socks, never eating breakfast, bringing dishonour onto your family name, etc.

When this part is done, start to build a meaningful relationship with the people, remembering their likes and dislikes, important dates and people in their lives, and overall just being a really good friend.

Handy Tip #10: The quietest people are often the most interesting and easiest to get along with.

First impressions: 8 out of 10

Acting skills: 15 out of 10

Fortune telling abilities: 9 out of 10

Probability of survival: 43.49%

#wishful thinking volume i #naruto x reader #naruto various x reader #x reader #reader insert

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lafenixrey · 7 years

Text

Boruto Ep. 27 Recap

“A Shinobi Bout of Friendship”

LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS NEW OPENING!!! There’s so much goodness!!!

I like how they highlighted all the characters & put their names next to them

But most importantly…teenage Boruto!!! Jdixhbsbsjdkkd! He was the Uzumaki swirl on the back! Finally! Yasss! Embrace your roots! His jacket is so cool! I want one! Where to cop?!

Also, they highlighted Shino, Anko, Konohamaru & Kakashi, so we about to see a lot of them in the upcoming episodes. (So excited to see more of hay silver haired angel)

This boy, idk his name & who cares but he got the audacity to be talkin spicy with blonde hair & black brows! Omg! Offensive!

Lmao Inojin is all about a perfect time to read someone. He doesn’t miss a beat.

Mitsuki’s eyes glow in the dark. He can’t get any cooler, can he???

My nephews are so talented!!!

What kinda ninja are these Hidden Mist mfs?! Didn’t they do their research on their opponents??? Cause if they did, they would know that they are sickening & their parents are LEGENDS! But I mean, get your ass whooped by prodigies if ya want.

I already knew Kagura was Yagura’s grandson but that whole thing where he snaps & gets blood lust, that’s interesting. I wonder what that attributes to. Cause wasn’t Yagura under Obito’s control the whole time this Blood Mist situation happened?

“Are you really genin?” LMAO! Mitsuki didn’t even break a sweat.

This ain’t the first or last time my bad ass kids will have other nations SHOOK! I’m so proud.

Aww. Mitsuki considers all his classmates his friends?! #BorutosImpact

It upsets me knowing ALL that Naruto went through to establish world peace & mfs don’t know how to act & wanna fuck that up. I want the hands. Line them up.

Omg Inojin’s jammies are so cute! Lol

Mitsuki doesn’t have jammies cause he doesn’t have to sleep. I’ve concluded.

This shinobi card game is giving me uno vibes. Might get into a fist fight depending what card you draw.

Kisame’s son gotta chill. Like, your daddy made his own sharks eat him. That’s not what you want in your life.

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lafenixrey · 7 years

Note

I need you to answer all those Naruto asks please, it's vital information

ALL of them!? lol Okay, let’s get into it then.

1) favorite village

- Hmm. I think the Hidden Cloud village is the most interesting out of all the villages. It’s really unique.

2) favorite kage

- This is so hard. Hmm….I love the Tsuchikage, Onoki. He’s just so tiny and grumpy but also? He will WHOOP your ass! I was so impressed with him during the Great War. He really did that.

3) which villain would you most like to fight

http://fenix-rey.tumblr.com/post/167175597275/for-the-naruto-asks-3-8-9-10-11

4) favorite chunin exam fight

http://fenix-rey.tumblr.com/post/167176077980/naruto-asks-34568911

5) how would you have cheated during the chunin exams

http://fenix-rey.tumblr.com/post/167176077980/naruto-asks-34568911

6) byakugan, sharingan, or rinnegan

http://fenix-rey.tumblr.com/post/167176077980/naruto-asks-34568911

7) which battle was your favorite

- I love the fight between Kakashi and Obito during the Great War. It was SO good! The animation was amazing and I loved how they transitioned from scenes of them sparring as kids to the present. That was so rude but it was more impactful and emotional. They beat the shit outta each other.

8) favorite female ninja’s outfit

- http://fenix-rey.tumblr.com/post/167175597275/for-the-naruto-asks-3-8-9-10-11

9) favorite male ninja’s outfit

-http://fenix-rey.tumblr.com/post/167175597275/for-the-naruto-asks-3-8-9-10-11

10) favorite ninja’s hair

http://fenix-rey.tumblr.com/post/167175597275/for-the-naruto-asks-3-8-9-10-11

11) how would you wear your headband

http://fenix-rey.tumblr.com/post/167175597275/for-the-naruto-asks-3-8-9-10-11

12) what would your ninjutsu be

-Ima get fake astrology hoe on y’all but since I’m a Scorpio, which is a water sign, I’m guessing I’d be a water user. I’d want to be the baddest water jutsu user though. Like Tobirama levels. Be in the middle of the desert and summon the biggest water dragon imaginable.

13) what ninjas would you want as your teammates

-Naruto, Kakashi & Temari. I wouldn’t have to worry about shit. They’d keep me alive. I’m good.

14) which opening is your favorite

This is my FAVORITE opening. I love this song so much. This is the only opening I won’t fast forward through. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ls0HQ-IVzY&t=7s I have this song in my iTunes. A BOP!

15) which closing is your favorite

No shade, no tea but I never stick around for the closings to even pick one. I just move onto the next episode.

16) how long have you been into naruto

-Um. I think about two years. I’m a fairly new fan. I didn’t grow up watching Naruto, so, I don’t feel nostalgically attached to certain characters. I made my judgments on characters as an adult, so, I noticed that my views are far different from people who have been watching the show since they were kids.

17) do you mostly watch or read naruto

-I exclusively watched Naruto.

18) favorite character

-My favorite character is always a tie between Kakashi and Naruto. Those are my babies. I’ve said before that Kakashi is the best written & most multi-faceted character on the show. But, Naruto helped me on a personal level. I’m so grateful to him. lol Naruto slightly edges Kakashi as my favorite character but only by a little.

19) least favorite character

-Danzo. He’s not even my least favorite character cause he was villain but he was just useless. There’s so many great villains but he’s a bland bitch. He’s never made me live.

20) do you own any naruto merch

-YES! I own two shirts from Hot Topic. They got cute Naruto merch if y’all are interested.

21) in the akatsuki what color would you paint your nails

-Red! That is my color. It looks so good on me.

22) who would you want your partner to be in the akatsuki

-Hmmmm…..Deidera. He’s so dramatic. He’s such an art hoe. He’d keep me entertained when we’d be fucking shit up.

23) have you ever played any of the naruto video games

-Sadly, no. I want to buy one soon.

24) weapon of choice

-A katana. Lots of paper bombs.

25) favorite clan

-Uuuugggghhhh, this is so hard! :/ The Senju clan is full of bad bitches. But I also love the Nara clan…I have to go with the Senju. Hashirama, Tobirama and Tsunade? Iconic.

26) favorite uchiha

SHISUI MFIN UCHIHA!!! A pure baby. The only angel in the Uchiha clan. I sigh out loud every time I think about him. RIP.

27) what animal would you summon

Kamatari. Which is Temari’s summon. The weasel with a scythe and eye patch. He is sickening.

28) favorite filler episode

-When the girls get together. I just love to see that type of content. Women supporting women.

29) favorite arc

-The Great War arc. It’s so hectic and stressful but it has so much content.

30) otp

-I’m a person who’s really not interested in romantic relationships, so, I don’t really care but I am fond about NaruHina and ShikaTema. I saw those relationships happening as soon as I saw them interacting.

31) brotp

-Naruto & Shikamaru. Listen. Shikamaru LOVES the shit outta Naruto Uzumaki. He is down for him. I loved how their friendship developed over time cause they couldn’t be more of complete opposites.

32) favorite non-human character

-Gamatatsu. My guy said he not working for free. He needs his snacks and he needs them NOW. I respect that and I can relate.

33) favorite bijuu

-Shukaku always made me laugh whenever he made an appearance.

34) favorite jinchuriki

-Killer B. He was always so positive about being a jinchuriki and nothing ever bothered him. I admire him so much, cause it couldn’t be ME.

35) what ninja occupation would you choose

-I’d be whatever ninja that gets to kick people in their throats. I want that job.

Thanks, @blacksasukeuchiha

#ask #naruto

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