#Liv posts things

[swisseffingcheese]

A little message from Neath amidst all the chaos 🫶🏼

#Liv posts things #rooster teeth #neath oum #rwby #I don’t know why but this made me feel a little more at ease #knowing he’s still willing to work on things and move forward with the project #I’m not crying you are

[livsmessydoodles]

thinking about this scene today

this scene alone convinces me that byler is endgame bc you cannot make will actively say that hes not gonna fall in love and then write a whole plotline abt him being in love with mike.... just for it to not be reciprocated???

will is the only party member who's completely unexperienced with romantic relationships, which of course has to do with the fact that he's gay in the 80's, but this is a TV show. all of this is fictional so they can take whatever route they want with these characters, and making will continue to stay alone and suffer through unrequited love would be awful storytelling, especially when people claim that will moving on from his feelings would bring character development and growth.

wills feelings for mike arent there just to "show his growth". weve seen this kid go through hell and back yet even with everything kicking him down he stays strong and kind. hes the most selfless character in the show and always puts others needs before his own. in s4, they put a lot of emphasis in these character traits of his, and they're always picturing his love for mike as something selfless and pure.

now if his feelings are not reciprocated, how does this teach will a lesson that leads to character growth?? he already doesn't expect anything. life has shown him time and time again that he always gets the short end of the stick, why would he think this is any different?? making him have feelings for his best friend just to get rejected would just be a nail in the coffin, reaffirming to him that no matter what hes not worthy of ever getting what he wishes. this isnt character growth at all.

but if his feelings ARE requited, that gives us a twist to the story we havent seen. we would get to see actual growth for will, him learning to give himself value and realize that he DOES deserve happiness!! instead of leading into the expected spiral of bad things keeping up the consistency with everything else that has happened to will so far, finally giving him one good thing leads to us seeing a shift in his whole nature, and wed see him dealing with things he hasnt dealt with before!!! GROWTH!!!

besides why would they make such an intricate complicated storyline.... just to lead to a rejection we all saw coming? the GA expects him to get rejected. his feelings not being reciprocated would not be any surprise. but twisting those expectations in a way to shock the GA AND give wills character the happiness he so deserves after being through so much..... now THAT would be world shattering and a satisfying ending to both the viewers and will himself!!

this scene establishes a clear subversion trope, making us aware of how will believes he's never finding love, just for the show to later on subvert expectations and reward will with the love he deserves and never thought hed get🫶

#long post wow sorry #i was just thinking about this scene and then remembered a thread id made on twt a couple months ago and. basically redacted it #i just think this is so important and its solid evidence that we often look past #the duffers have been setting this storyline for a while. the buildup is all there #i doubt theyd just push all of that aside to stay with the same ol boring het couple who honestly even the GA is tired kf #😭😭😭😭 #ANYWAY #i like doing think pieces i might do more eventually #byler #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #byler analysis #st4 #stranger things 5 #mike wheeler x will byers #will byers x mike wheeler #will and mike get on the petri dish #liv rambles

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu #HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand #in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred #because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it #including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines. #like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like #‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted #and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.) #i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on #this one but the full quote was too long: #all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless #so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one #and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o. #liv in the replies #shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs. #if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡 #the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is. #far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze #laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…) #also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy

[olibavee]

very minor pet peeve is when elves/gnomes/whatever all have the same ears in fantasy settings. humans can have very different ear shapes and i think individual elves and gnomes and whatever should too. think of how fun that could be. or maybe i'm the only one who is mildly entertained by ear variations, i dunno. be seeing you

#liv rambles #favorite thing to end a stupid post with is 'be seeing you' #please imagine it in an oblivion npc voice btw. thanks

[thestobingirlie]

the byers being anti-jancy is as real to me as the wheelers being pro-stancy.

#no i will not accept criticism #now you might say. but liv. mike doesn’t like steve. doesn’t he?? #sure he acts whiny etc. but that’s teen boy shit!! #he’s never shown actually hating steve. #and there’s no proof he likes jonathan any better #especially not jonathan with nancy #anyway this is just my hc it has no weight on canon and canon has no weight on it lmao #my number one goal will always be what is funniest to ME #i am my own clown #anti jancy #stancy #will byers #joyce byers #karen wheeler #ted wheeler #holly wheeler #mike wheeler #stranger things #my post

[heich0e]

How long did it take itafushikugi to realize that mc and sukuna is dating/has sth going on between them???

megumi clocks it first for SURE!! but keeps it to himself bc he knows how to mind his own business. nobara and yuuji require ..... a bit more time

#liv got mail #megumi and reader running into eachother sneaking out of the itadori brothers' rooms in the dead of night post hookups #silently making a pact not to say a DAMN THING #an unspoken understanding

[livwritesstuff]

just came to the realization that my dad is so steve harrington-coded (actually my dad came first so steve is so my dad-coded)

my dad (a seventies kid, eighties teenager), played every sport under the sun, was very popular, captain of the football team in high school, and president of his frat in college.

all of this was news to me because as a fifty-something-year-old adult, he is completely asocial, obsessed with his garden, and exclusively listens to three fourteen-hour playlists he made by himself on spotify

they are aptly called upbeat jazz (self explanatory), rockin tunes (80s rock), and classical (also self explanatory)

sometimes he’ll shake things up and listen to hadestown the musical for a week straight

he is a very proud house-husband, a cat guy, wears the same clothes he’s had since 1998, and is VERY particular about wine and the shape and size of his coffee mugs. Anytime he accomplishes anything he always says that he “rocked it” and when things dont’t go to plan, it’s, “well that’s bogus”.

he’s a subtle wife-guy, a total pushover, has a rocky relationship with his parents, and always jumps in to help people even when he has no clue what’s going on.

(once, when our town was hit by a hurricane, a tree fell across the road near our driveway and when he saw people were trying to drive around it and getting stuck, he fired up the chainsaw and took care of it. he kept the tree for firewood).

anyways all this to say that there is real-life data to support the jock-teenager to lame af-adult pipeline i’ve seen people loving for steve and it’s great.

#steve harrington #also an appreciation post for liv’s dad #he would die if he knew i did this #stranger things #steddie #<- tagging bc that’s where i see this characterization of steve the most

[snowangeldotmp3]

so in Rebel Robin, though it’s focused on Robin and acknowledges the weird things that happen in Hawkins (will and barb’s disappearances, respectively), the author, A.R. Capetta, does a really good job of building Hawkins. and by building Hawkins, i mean they make it very clear that it could’ve been Robin.

in chapter fifteen of the book, November 6th, 1983, Robin is at her friend Milton’s house. They’re hanging out, watching MTV, eating dinner, etc. Robin has to go home at some point, and her only mode of transportation is a bike. Here is the scene where she bikes home.

“...There’s a rustle in the undergrowth at the side of the road. I try to ignore it. I do whatever I can to keep the strange skittering sound from sending nervous flicks of fear across my skin. I ride faster, my wheels now blazing a straight arrow down the road. I hum a little bit of the first song I can find in my head, “Hungry Like the Wolf,” but the rustle seems to get louder in response. I shout the lyrics at the top of my lungs.” (pg 120.) “Headlights pierce the night behind me, and the rustling goes quiet as a car passes. Right when I let myself believe it’s gone, it comes back. Louder. Closer. There’s another sound beneath it, soft and pulsing. Something like blood rushing through a heart or breath dragged up a windpipe. I pull onto my street and by the time I drop my bike in the driveway, I'm running scared and I don't care who knows it. I sprint to the door--thank God it's unlocked--slam it shut, twist the lock behind me, and push my back against the solid wood." (pg. 121.) "...I pick it up, hoping for a voice. Any voice. I hear a second of hard breathing and I think that whatever just happened to me is happening to someone else in Hawkins." (pg. 121-122.)

After this, the power goes out, starting with the Byers' house (as we've seen in the show), and then Robin's goes out fairly quickly after her experience (which leads me to believe that she doesn't live that far from Will. Especially since it seems like the Demogorgon was trailing after her, too.) You could replace Robin in some of these scenes with Will, and it would read almost exactly the same as Will's disappearance. It got me thinking, though, and there are two ways that this train of thought has taken me, and now you all have to hear about it.

The first train of thought is this: What if Robin had been taken instead of Will? What would that look like? Who would search for her? she's not friends with Steve or Nancy or Jonathan at this point. (in fact, she actively resents two of these people.) Besides Milton and maybe Kate, I doubt her friends would've searched for her. Dash is a mix of Tommy H and season 1 Steve, and his control over Kate is reminiscent of Steve and Nancy. (which is the point, i know.) but in this case, Barb still would've disappeared, meaning that Nancy still had to search for Barb and fight some Demogorgons. I doubt her parents would've done too much, as she states that they "don't believe in worrying." Not only that, but her parents have admitted to her that she was an accident, "My parents had me by accident (nobody gets pregnant in a VW van on purpose)..." (pg. 40.) and she's described by her parents as "not a hard child to raise" and through several scenes in the book Robin indicates that she's practically raised herself, her parents are nothing short of neglectful, only parenting when they absolutely have to. But this question haunts me because it's one that changes the trajectory of the whole show. because if this is the case, does Nancy still find Jonathan? do they really go fight the Demogorgon together? do they go searching for Barb and then find Eleven? what then of Robin? Do they go in search of Barb, only to find a dead Barb and a barely alive Robin? and what about Hopper and Joyce? Furthermore, what would happen in a season 2 situation with the Mind Flayer? Who would be there to notice if she was acting differently--possessed by the Mind Flayer? certainly not her parents.

what this train of thought proves to me is that, at least, in the first two seasons, could not progress without a character like Joyce because her worry and love for her son drive her to the actions that put this plot in motion. If Joyce had acted anything like Robin's parents, the story would have fallen apart.

The second train of thought (and a much more fun train one) is this: What if the Demogorgon got both Will and Robin? They both disappear into the Upside Down, trying to survive. I figure that Robin would do what she can to protect both of them, considering that when she first meets Will, the first thing she wants to do is to comfort him and tell him that life gets better, but the second thing she wishes she could do is to run away from Hawkins. So now Hawkins has three missing kids; Will, Robin, and Barb. I imagine that much of the season would be the same. I would also imagine that Will and Robin traversing the Upside Down would've been a great dynamic to see. Perhaps it's Robin who's trying to contact Joyce through the phone or figures out that the lights can send messages through the Upside Down--prompting Will to send his messages to Joyce. When Eleven has to find them in the sensory deprivation, she finds them and tells Joyce and Hopper that there's someone there with Will, hiding the both of them from the Demogorgon. When Joyce and Hopper finally find Will, they find Robin there too, barely alive but Hopper grabs her as well and they make it out. I would assume that Joyce would thank Robin profusely for keeping an eye on Will and that Robin would practically be adopted by Joyce.

I'd also like to think season 2 would've been wayyy different. The Mind Flayer takes one of them or the other (or both) and opens a whole new world of possibilities.

Sorry, this post got out of hand; I was skimming Rebel Robin and didn't notice this until I skimmed it. Anyways, feel free to add to this post, I came across this in the book and knew i had to talk about it lol!

#stranger things #robin buckley #rebel robin #will byers #eleven #joyce byers #jim hopper #jonathan byers #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #not gonna tag this as ronance but like. could you imagine the romance aus to come from something like this? #wait actually i might write that #long post #liv rambles #plus i keep seeing that post that's like 'we were robbed of eddie and robin in season 1' and like #this VERY much could've happened to robin as much as it did to will. i think will was the target because he was smaller #anyways #edited bc the quotes looked super weird lmaoo #tagging this too as #rebel robin: surviving the upside down #the post that started it all lmao

[sluttyhenley]

been around a time or two

The thought of Maverick had her opening up their text thread. It was painfully short; he wasn’t a fan of texting. Too slow, he said. Still, she could use someone to talk to right now. She wasn’t even sure how it fit into whatever it was that they were doing, but he always answered her if he wasn’t busy. Phoenix: i just had the longest goddamn day Phoenix: i never want to hear the words heavy metal ever again She set her phone down and went back to contemplating the contents of her refrigerator. She really wanted to avoid spending money on take out. Maybe she had something in her freezer she could throw in the microwave.  Phoenix’s phone buzzed and a text notification from Maverick lit up her screen. A wave of delight beat back at the crush of exhaustion that had been weighing her down ever since she let herself into her apartment.  Mav ✈️: Everything okay?

Sometimes, after a long day, the only person Phoenix wants to talk to is Maverick.

for @natashatrace

#i think your birthday's already passed liv #but it's still your birthday week #and i hope you like it #mavnix #top gun fanfiction #fan fiction #top gun: maverick #things i wrote #if you see me posting top gun no you don't

[soliloquent-stark]

throwback to my darling sweetheart and fiancée @whinysteve surprising me with an animal crossing wedding; can't imagine how much effort went into it but i remember feeling every drop of love 🥹 this was before marriage was even legalised in our country — starting next year, this could be our reality. well, i'm not sure we'd get such cute guests, but one can try. 🥰

#just my daily post of appreciation for the best partner in the world #animal crossing #acnh #animal crossing wedding #is that a tag #just liv things

[canongf]

Whenever I try to join the selfship community I find it so hard because it feels that almost Everyone already know each other plus whenever I try to ask people about their ships they are really happy to do so but no one does the same for me, and I also feel like no one cares about my ship compared to the ones that their friends have which makes sense but it’s so demoralizing and at this point I’d rather just celebrate my ships on my own rather because even promo posts don’t work 😔 the community is supposed to be friendly and accepting to others and filled with close bonds that anyone can have but i can’t find the same experience for me :’)

i'm sorry that your experience hasn't been what you hoped it'd be!!!

finding your place can be hard sometimes. it can take a while. it can be disappointing and discouraging. but it won't always be that way!!! you can still find your place!!!

even if it feels like everyone already knows each other, they can still know you too.

something that can be helpful is to start sorta small. it is completely understandable to look at the community as a whole and want support from the community as a whole, but the community is really just a lot of very different people and a lot of very different friends! and because everyone's so different, it can end up being a wide search. so try to start small! start with one friend!

"but liv, making one friend working." making friends isn't always a quick and easy thing, and maybe it isn't working right now! but it doesn't mean it'll never work! sending asks about ships is a great way to start, you're doing great! and i know it sucks when you show interest and that interest isn't returned, and i know it makes you not want to ever do it again. but sometimes it's really, really worth it. sometimes you just gotta keep trying.

sometimes it takes several asks or interactions from someone for me to realize "oh! hey! i like them and want to talk to them!" and it's not because i don't care, it's just because sometimes i'm in my head and it doesn't occur to me! sometimes people have stuff goin' on and they don't think about it. sometimes people forget, sometimes people are overwhelmed, sometimes people are scared. but i know that you're not alone in this feeling, i know there are people that feel like they're on the outside looking in too. so i know that there are people you will connect with when you find each other.

and then! when you start small! it can be easier to make another friend, and another friend, and another friend. you'll get to know them and they'll get to know you. you'll talk about ships. and slowly but surely you'll be able to find your own little circle in the self shipping circle.

be patient with yourself. it's okay to get upset, it's okay to feel disappointed and discouraged, it's okay to feel lonely. it's not a failure on anybody's part and it doesn't mean you're unwanted. it happens sometimes. it's okay if you need to take breaks. and while you're finding your place, try not to lose the reason you fell in love with self shipping in the first place. there is nothing wrong with wanting a community, wanting friends, wanting validation, just try not to let the search for it take away all your happiness!!!

#this got rlly long but i had stuff to say!!! #making friends isn't always easy and natural and it can be very hard #and that doesn't necessarily mean anything #it's just one of those things #but it's not impossible!!! #and i'm sure that your people are out there!!! #ask liv #advice #anon #long post

[darlingshane]

Aiming in the Dark

Shane Walsh x OFC (Read at AO3) 

Rating: 18+ (Explicit)

Word Count: 150k+

Chapters: 36/? (WIP)

Warnings/Content: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Romance, Crack, Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Blood, Gore, Scars, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Implied Sexual Assault, Weapons, Military Inaccuracies, Medical Inaccuracies, Light bondage, Dom/Sub Undertones.

Summary: A very resourceful woman ends up alone after the outbreak. On her way to Atlanta, she meets the group and joins them in their search for Sophia. She goes unnoticed for most of them, except for Shane, who quickly sees her as an asset to have and maybe something else.

— You can read only at AO3 (LINK)*

—  Excerpt from Chapter 32: Stowaway

Olivia is his home, that’s a fact.

Some days, it feels like a lifetime has passed since he laid eyes on her for the first time. In reality, it’s been roughly a year and a half. When his eyes close, he only sees her. His best friend, partner, and wife. She's been the brightness beacon and his true compass, giving him direction in this messed up world. Kind and passionate, she quiets his mind and eases his ache without even trying. She’s tough as nails and sharp as a tack. A raw beauty with a marshmallow core; tragically vulnerable and stubborn at times. She can be too damn cocky for her own good and can straight up kill you with a stare if you even cross her. He wouldn't have her any other way. Good and bad, he cherishes it all.

*A/N: I posted a couple of chapters on tumblr: here and here, that can be read as stand-alone stories. I can post the rest here individually. If anyone is interested, let me know.

#jon bernthal #shane walsh #the walking dead #shane walsh x ofc #shane walsh x original female character #twd fanfiction #shane walsh fanfiction #jon bernthal smut #fanfiction #aitd #shane x liv #darlingwrites #oh look #i finally made a proper edit and post for this fic after 3 years #i rewrote the first 17 chapters #and fixed the punctuation of the whole thing #i think it's more readable now than it was before #but you let me know #i cant tell

[slothquisitor]

Neverwinter

A collection of vignettes from Liv and Astarion's time in Neverwinter in which healing is not linear. Astarion x Liv, 4.5k, post-campaign healing trauma together.

Also on AO3.

Neverwinter is more beautiful than Astarion imagined. Liv teleports them to a small alley near the main clocktower, to a warm, bright night, and a city square still filled with people. There’s a market of sorts happening, and Liv’s eyes immediately light up. They spend the evening wandering the stalls and buying silly trinkets they don’t need. After the market closes up for the night, they wander the city through gardens and unfamiliar architecture, taking in the sights. 

He’s scarcely seen Liv this open and free. As Baldur’s Gate has fallen away, so too has her tight control of her emotions. She has always been freer with him, more open, but there is a contagious joy to her as she points out the beautiful buildings, and the streets that might contain something interesting. They wander until sunrise, until their feet are sore from walking, and then they find an empty street, where Liv can cast the spell, opening the doorway to their little haven. 

They spend the first few days in Neverwinter in much the same way, though as they learn this city, pick up on its rhythms and heartbeats, they begin making acquaintances. They bribe museum guards and gallery curators to let them in after hours. They learn the names of restaurant owners and wait staff, especially the ones who don’t bat an eye when Astarion never orders food and only drinks wine. They become fast favorites of a bookshop owner when Astarion befriends the resident feline of the shop, and the owner promises to stay open late one night a week for them. 

It’s incredible how quickly a life begins to take shape here. Liv’s name opens doors, gets her access to libraries and books and researchers. She wears this notoriety better than she ever did the Vires name, perhaps it is because these people are interested in her as the hero of Baldur’s Gate rather than the daughter of a wealthy diplomat. It matters that it is something she’s done and not simply because of the circumstances of her birth. 

Astarion is slower to trust. He’s fine with acquaintances, with passing familiarity, but still suspicious of almost everyone’s motives. But he likes the messiness of life. He likes knowing names, and gathering pieces of these people he comes into contact with in order to puzzle them out. But he rarely offers up anything of himself. Still, on the nights when Liv is deep in her research, there is something oddly comforting about being alone in a crowded room. Of watching and waiting and drinking in taverns and bars and he never has to leave with anyone, he simply gets to return home. 

Perhaps someday he will not have to go out only to return home to feel like a person, but until then, this will suffice. 

***

Liv wakes alone. It’s not an uncommon occurrence. The clock in their room tells her it’s just early afternoon, and that there are still several hours before sunset. She rises with the intent to make coffee and to check in on Astarion who is more than likely in his solarium, reading or dozing or finding some other way to fill his time. 

With their arrival in Neverwinter, with the gift of this home, his restlessness has abated somewhat. He is still often moving, often flitting around, as if the space has granted him the opportunity and he must take it. She is glad they left Baldur’s Gate. 

When she emerges to the main room, he is not there. The door to his solarium is shut. That has been yet another thing to navigate together. Shut doors mean privacy, which he hasn’t often had, but they also feel ominous, like a cage. Sometimes, she’ll be reading in the main room just to see the solarium door open, and Astarion standing there for a moment before drifting away, leaving the door open.  As if he still needs reminding that he could leave at any point. 

As she approaches the door, she hears the sound of wood splintering accompanied by his frustration. She pauses a moment but when everything falls quiet inside she knocks. “Astarion?”

“I’m fine!” The answer comes quickly, almost too fast, and definitely too angry to be entirely true. 

“Can I come in?”

There is a long pause, long enough she almost wonders if he heard her, but then the door opens, just enough for her to see him. He’s covered in paint and his eyes have a haunted look about them that she hasn’t seen in a long time. His head is bowed, eyes focused on the floor. 

She keeps her tone light. “What are you up to?” 

He doesn’t reply, instead, he opens the door the rest of the way so that she can take in the scene. The solarium is a mess, every space filled with things. An easel for painting lays broken to the side, paint scattered everywhere. There are small, chipped blocks of wood in another corner, shavings and wood dust coating the ground as if he had perhaps been inspired by Halsin’s whittling. Across the room, the hastily compiled and then abandoned attempts at creative projects lay scattered, like dead bodies on a battlefield. 

“I just wanted to find something…one fucking thing I’m good at. You have your research and I have…nothing.”

She can’t even tell him that he’s wrong. They both have their shared love of books, but that has not been enough to fill his time and his days. To see the way he has desperately fought and clawed toward something in this room today makes her invariably sad. 

“Well, it’s very hard to paint when you snap the easel in half,” she says, an attempt at injecting some humor into the situation. 

He seizes on the opening. “Yes, well, I’m sure that the paint is also meant to go on the canvas itself.” He runs a paint-spattered hand through his paint-spattered hair, jutting his chin out as if he always meant to be this messy. He’s still beautiful.

“Generally.”

He looks out at the solarium with sad eyes. “I’ve made such a mess of it all.”

“It’s alright.” The magic of the house will clean it all away, it will be as if it never happened at all. In fact, she’s almost sure that if they simply close the door and ask, the room will revert back to its usual pristine self. 

“I just wanted to make something…leave something instead of taking something.” He sounds like he’s pleading with her, pleading for her to understand. 

She does. “You’re quite deft with a needle, aren’t you? Did you try embroidering something? We can buy you real supplies, not ones that will disappear to smoke.”

He shakes his head. “I…can’t do that.”

Because it had been a necessity under Cazador, a means of survival. “We’ll find you something.” 

“I don’t care if we do. It doesn’t matter,” he adds bitterly, shutting the door and walking away. It is a retreat if she ever saw one.

***

Astarion wakes, dropping out of fitful remembrance that is never quite as restful as he hopes. He reaches for Liv in the darkness, only to find her side of the bed empty. It is an odd sensation to find her the one gone. He is the one who leaves, but not always. Sometimes he is content to just be in this shared space, to listen to her steady breathing. Sometimes he curls around her and dozes, enjoying her waking up in his arms. Sometimes he returns just to be the first thing she sees when she wakes. But today, he is awake and she is not here. 

He finds her in the main room, sitting in a chair by the fire. A book is open on her lap, but she’s staring into the flames instead of reading. Her eyes are puffy, her face smeared with tears. “Is everything alright, my dear?” He knows everything is decidedly not alright, but he’s not sure what this is. So he’s trying to navigate it with care. 

She jumps a little at the sound of his voice, and turns, hastily wiping at her eyes. “Oh…I just…I couldn’t sleep.” It’s not the whole truth of it. 

He approaches the chair and kneels down beside it. “What’s wrong?”

She stares at her hands, at her book, back at the flames of the fire, but she doesn’t quite look at him. Not for a long, long time. Finally, she sighs, her shoulders folding inward. “I sent a message to Roland a few days ago.”

Her brother in Candlekeep. Percy had suggested she reach out, said that perhaps it would be welcome, and Liv had seemed thrilled at the prospect. “And?”

“And nothing. He never replied.” 

Damn it. He wishes he could yell at Percy himself for making the suggestion in the first place, for filling her with hope when clearly he was wrong. “Ah.”

“It’s just…Percy seemed so sure it would be a good thing, and I…I thought…” her words tumble short, start and stop, fall away into the quiet. 

“Thought what?” he prompts gently. 

She looks so sad, so tired, so…young when she meets his eyes. “I thought that…after everything we did…he’d want to talk to me…I don’t know what else I could possibly do or say or…”

Because she is still, even now, sure that it is some deficiency on her part, something she has failed to do that keeps her from having these familial relationships she wants so badly. In times like this, he is grateful he doesn’t remember his own family. Doesn’t know where they are or what they would think of him now. They are a shadow of his past, buried right along with the man he was. He’s toyed with the idea of looking them up, surely he has family somewhere, but perhaps some things shouldn’t be exhumed. He has watched Liv grapple with her wreck of a family. Whether she severs the connections or keeps reaching she’s hurt either way, and he hates it for her. He hates that after everything she has done and accomplished and become, she still wonders if she were different if she would be good enough for them. 

“It’s his loss. You know that, right?” 

Her hands twist in her lap, and he covers them with his own, quiets them, and tries to inject some measure of comfort. “Your family are the people that are supposed to love you no matter what…sometimes…sometimes it just makes me wonder if the problem isn’t me.”

He brings their joined hands up and kisses her palm. “It’s not. I love you, and we both know that my taste in people is impeccable.”

Her smile is a strained thing. “I just really wanted this…really wanted him to be in my life again.”

“And maybe someday he will be, but whether he does or not has more to do with him than you. You’re incredible.”

She nods like she believes it…or is at least trying to. “I shouldn’t have tried to contact him anyway.” But he isn’t surprised she did. She is always reaching out an open hand; even when others don’t deserve it. It’s her best and most heartbreaking quality. 

“You know, you don’t need him or any of them to love you. You are already so loved by so many. You don’t need them.”

“Things with Percy were just…better than I expected, and Roland and I used to be so close before…” Her words trail off. 

“Maybe he’ll come around; maybe he won’t. But just remember, you are loved regardless.”

She holds tighter to his hand, an errant tear running down her cheek. He catches it with his thumb. “Come on, you need sleep, and I need a cuddle…thankfully, both of those things are possible in the bed.”

She kisses his cheek before following him back to the bedroom. 

***

Liv discovers something about herself in their weeks in Neverwinter. She is more of an introvert than she ever believed, and unsurprisingly, Astarion is not. Astarion needs interaction and people. He doesn’t always want to be the one interacting, but he does love a crowd, getting lost in a sea-change of people. 

Liv doesn’t mind going out with him, but it is not something she wants every single night. There is something to be said for quiet. Tonight, she had kissed him goodbye and sent him out into the city while she enjoyed being utterly and completely alone. Being alone is a bit of a novelty these days.

She’s curled up on the long couch in front of the fire, enjoying a book, a glass of wine, and plenty of snacks. She’s not sure how much time has passed, but she’s not concerned. She’ll go to bed whenever Astarion returns home. 

Some time later, the door opens. Only Astarion could even open the door, so she doesn’t bother giving him more than a cursory glance before returning to the excitement of the page she was reading. He strides over and drapes himself across her lap, batting her book away, grinning the whole time. Sometimes, he reminds her of a giant, overgrown cat. 

“I got a job!”

She tries to contain her surprise and probably does a terrible job of it. “A job?”

His smile is huge, his fangs glinting in the light. “Yes! There’s a criminal that everyone is looking for. It’s quite the scandal. They’re offering five hundred gold for his return…dead or alive! Naturally, I’m thinking dead.”

“So it’s a bounty?” 

“We’d be bounty hunters!” Astarion’s excitement is palpable. She hasn’t seen his eyes this bright since their first week here in Neverwinter. “Can we please do it? It’s been so long since I’ve killed anyone.”

She sets her book down, knowing that there will be no return to it for now. “You do know that most people go their whole lives without killing another person.”

“Ugh, those people are soooooo dull. But we’re not. We’re heroes! Plus, we’d have an edge over everyone else. You can do your little scrying thing to find them and I’ll be the one doing the hurting. Please?”

She laughs, letting her fingers tunnel into his curls as she looks down at him. She’s wanted nothing more than for him to find some sense of direction, something that he can call his. “Of course.”

His smile broadens. “Really? I really thought I’d have to do more convincing.”

“Oh? Did I spoil your plans?” She teases.

He shrugs. “Just leaves me more energy for other things.” And then he pulls her down to kiss her. 

***

Sunset is almost upon the city, and Liv has bid her friends at the House of Knowledge goodbye for the evening. The newly rebuilt temple and library is as impressive as it has been useful. She still doesn’t have anything concrete for Karlach or Astarion, but she’s learned much about infernal machinery and blood curses and diseases. Her research is not only obscure, but often knowledge most consider unsavory, so she has had to be careful and specific about who she trusts with her real plans. Still, she’s met other scholars and researchers and been grateful for the comradery.

Neverwinter is filled with gardens that spring up in riots of color, that seem to grow a ways into the houses in the neighborhood she and Astarion have claimed as their own. She could cast the spell to their home anywhere, but they liked this neighborhood. It’s nice to pretend that though they’re the only ones who can see the blue-painted door tucked into the wall on this street, that this place is theirs in some way. 

She wouldn’t have minded a few more hours of research, but Astarion has found them another job to do this evening. After their first successful bounty, Astarion had made the discovery that not only is he quite good at this sort of work, he enjoys it too. 

“It turns out, no one actually cares about murder, as long as you murder the right people,” he had gleefully observed the other night while he had looked over a small stack of bounty contracts. 

Liv is just happy to see him with some direction, and if she’s being fully honest, a part of her had missed the heat of battle. 

When she steps in the door, Astarion is already in his armor. He sits at the table, carefully applying poison to his daggers, his hand crossbows set to the side, waiting. He beams as she approaches. 

“Hello, darling.”

“Let me just change and we can go,” she says, pressing a kiss to his hair as she steps around to the bedroom. 

And she is looking forward to stalking the streets with him, to working toward a common goal. They make a very good team. 

***

There are times when Astarion goes whole days without once thinking of his life before the nautiloid. He keeps a mental tally as if it is some game he can win. How long has it been since he has remembered Cazador, those two hundred years of pain? He is sure that if he can simply lengthen the stretches of time long enough that someday he will not think of it ever again, or if he does, it won’t be quite so jarring. 

Despite his best efforts, he finds himself frustrated by the memories that bob to the surface, unbidden. Moments he relives, triggered by a word or phrase or smell…things he hadn’t remembered until that moment, a new facet of the nightmare he had somehow smothered down. 

He hates the way some days still feel haunted. He had mistakenly believed that burning Cazador’s home to the ground and getting out of Baldur’s Gate…would somehow also put all that unpleasantness behind him. But there are still too many days where he finds himself trapped in his own mind, memories sharp as broken glass and drawing more than just blood. 

He does his best to recover afterward, to push on to something, anything he can use to distract himself. The tactic had worked once upon a time, shoving the disgust and the loathing down with the next conquest, but now it’s not conquests…it’s hobbies he’s trying. 

He’s shit at drawing, despite Liv’s best attempts to help him. But hand-lettering? He’s actually quite good at. His solarium is littered with pages of words and phrases. He gets a weird sort of kick out of writing words like ‘fuck’ and ‘bastard’ in the prettiest fonts. 

But even that isn’t serving him this afternoon, so he wanders into the kitchen just for a change of scenery. Liv isn’t home, spending her afternoon at the House of Knowledge knee-deep in research. Today, he’s jealous of her ability to come and go as she pleases no matter the time of day. He’s sure that walking Neverwinter’s streets would get him out of his own damn head, but even a quick glance at the clock tells him he still has at least two hours of daylight left. 

Is this the freedom he clawed and killed and fought for? To live his life watching the hands of a clock? He used to wait for nightfall with a mix of hope and dread. Getting to leave the palace was both the best and worst part of his day. Leaving meant breathing just a little easier, but it also meant that he had to go out hunting. Had to give away the parts of himself he didn’t know how to hold anymore. Had to bring some unlucky soul to their doom. He might be free, but he is still cursed. 

Nights and nightmares and horrors and orders twist themselves together in a specter of memory that seems to constrict around him. Nothing is whole, just flashes, phantom touches, echoes of pain. Distantly he knows none of this is real…these are just memories…but the pain is real for a few bright hot seconds, and he is lost. 

He is sure he hears his name. But is it spat out like a curse word? Whispered like a caress? No…it’s laced with concern and familiarity.

A warm touch of fingers on the back of his hand wrenches him back to himself. He jerks away from the touch, instinctively. “Don’t! Don’t touch me.” The words leave his mouth, venomous and sharp enough to cut. 

He is still standing in the kitchen, but Liv is there and there is a look in her eyes that tells him that she has been calling his name for a while and he has been…somewhere else. He didn’t mean to snap at her, his hands are shaking as he reaches up to run a hand through his hair. “I…I apologize. It’s been a bad day.”

Liv doesn’t move away but doesn’t draw any nearer. He can tell she is trying to hide her worry. “What do you need right now?”

He’s not sure; he glances around the kitchen for some clue as to why he even walked in here in the first place. He comes up empty. 

Liv saves him from his floundering by gesturing toward the fireplace and sitting area. “Come on, let’s go sit down.”

He follows her in silence and takes the blanket she hands him, careful not to touch him. He wraps it around himself while he collapses into the corner of the couch as if it could swallow him whole. He runs the edge of the blanket between his fingers, trying to remind himself that he is real, and he is here, and he is free. 

Liv sits in the nearby chair, legs folded up under her, watching him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” 

“Do you need to?” 

No. Maybe. Probably. He sighs. “Why does any of it still matter? I thought I was getting better…but sometimes it feels like it’s worse somehow. Is it all just a circle? Am I doomed forever to be stuck like this?” Still somehow tied to Cazador, even in death?

Liv considers his questions and weighs them as if they matter. It’s the first thing he noticed about her, just how carefully she listens. He used to think it was simply kindness, her bleeding heart. And that is part of it, but not all. She is forever yearning for knowledge, for understanding.

When she speaks, her words are soft and measured. “There’s a play I love and a character asks much the same question. She wonders if the future is just a mirage we hold out in front of us as we march around in a circle, but I loved the response the other character gave. He said that it’s not a circle, it’s a line that stretches out forever and because we can’t see the end, we can’t see how it changes…but we’re still moving forward. You are still moving forward.”

“How can you be so sure?” Because today he is not. The shadows still feel too close, too hungry. 

“Because I’ve watched you and just how far you’ve come. Don’t let the bad days convince you otherwise.”

Her words are gentle, and he doesn’t want them. He wants to yell and rage and pick a fight with her. He wants to twist this vulnerability back on her and find some way to shift the attention off of him. He wants to do anything but sit here in this moment, and it takes all of his self-control to bite back every cutting word. 

She watches him in silence, and he’s sure she’s seen. He’s sure she knows that even after all this time, his first instinct is to lash out. It makes him feel even more wretched, but she hasn’t moved, hasn’t left. 

He picks up and discards a series of words and phrases. Finally, he offers something true. “I just want to be done with him.” He had stabbed Cazador himself, watched the light leave his eyes, and told himself that it was over. But it doesn’t feel over. He worries it never will. He is tired of being defined by the actions of others. 

“You are safe. You are free. Some days it might be hard to remember that, but I will be here to remind you for as long and as often as you need.” Another promise to join the ones she’s already offered him, but like all the others, he believes it. 

He wishes in this moment that he could stand for her to touch him, that he could curl into her, burrow somewhere near her steady heartbeat. “That play you mentioned…do you have it here?”

“I do.”

“Read it to me?” The question comes out small, barely louder than a whisper. As she reads, he finds his mind swimming through the words instead of wrapped in memory, and he slowly returns to himself. 

He restarts his count. 

***

They are both in Astarion’s solarium, passing the early evening hours together, but not quite together. Astarion lounges on the chaise, reading a book. She sits on the ground, notes open and books scattered around her. Her research has shifted toward looking for the first vampire, for what began this all as if finding the root might be the answer. It means sifting through rumors and folklore, and it is slow, slow work. 

There’s a gentle, insistent connection in her mind, and suddenly her brother’s voice fills it. “It’s Roland. I’ve struggled to know what to say to you after all this time…but Percy told me about your partner and I found something.”

She freezes as the message unfurls, his voice at once familiar and not. “It’s so good to hear from you. You found something?”

Astarion looks up at her, a question in his eyes. “It’s Roland,” she manages while she waits for his response, heart hammering. 

“Probably best discussed in person. How’d you like to visit Candlekeep?” 

She sits in shock for a moment before looking at Astarion. “Do you want to go to Candlekeep?” 

He smiles. “Of course. I’ve heard there are a great many books there. Estranged brothers too, I suppose.”

“He says he found something that might help us.”

Astarion shrugs, returning to his book. “I’d settle for him apologizing to you, but if he has a lead we’ll take it.”

And just like that, another adventure hovers on the horizon.

#astarion #astarion x tav #tavstarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion x liv #post-campaign #bright lost things #i tried to balance the sad and the happy here #but some of these little moments have been rattling around in my head for MONTHS #slothquisitorwrites

[crossbackpoke-check]

a junkyard dog ain't always pretty but you always love that toothless smile

#i miss tyler bertuzzi #liv in the replies #the absolute way i just got bodied by shake it out coming on as i uploaded the pictures to this post #um. sorry not sorry. the google doc/pdf of the quote that i used for this was literally titled #god fuckin curse the notesapp i wrote two years ago #directly referencing the note i have (pretty sure from when the maple leafs seemed really serious about wanting bert) & i remember #being slammed out of NOWHERE by the sudden thought (because i've been preparing for years for bert to leave) (andreas in feb moe in april) #verbatim: if tyler bertuzzi ever gets traded or retires it's catalog of unabashed gratitude the heart part and i will sob #S T O P #tyler bertuzzi #detroit ride or die #this does actually rival we don't have a future we have a dog for some of these for me which. fuck u past me for being so right about this #things that i need you to know for the narrative: oh dumbstruck is tyler's first nhl game (vs the flyers) #thank you every day is from tyler's hat trick & yes the bruins on knucklehead is intentional because it hurt my feelings #also should note. i'm sorry is from when tyler broke his hand this season & no i'm not okay about the narrative of who is he w/o his hands #yeah yeah yeah. the last five make me want to throw up screaming crying shaking wailing #i made it so much worse by looking at dyl's post #dylan larkin #anthony mantha #andreas athanasiou #catalogue of unabashed gratitude [abridged] - ross gay #my sincerest apologies to fabs i simply could not put him in here he was in we don't have a future we have a dog that was all i could take #should i have abridged the last one to say 'for every day'? yeah probably. did i think of that too late? also probably. wait hang on #ooooookay so i did it so now that tag doesn't make sense but it's fine i also have an alt for dumbstruckand pelican heart :))))))) #what i wish i could've made for u but the pictures don't exist is tyler running down the drive barefoot on the phone the day he got drafted #do you really believe in him? is he a good kid? no problems? you're gonna love him. you're gonna love him. #i'm also fully not even gonna talk to y'all about vrana. i can't do that red string tonight. we're also ignoring sunny #STEVE WHAT FUCKING TEAM ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO PLAY WITH #yes i made this exclusively for me no i don’t care yes i am a lil sorry i love him u’ve heard it all before. dilly i’m kissing ur forehead

[messrmoonyy]

Okay it seems my drafts and schedule posts option is only screwing up in app and I can work it fine in browser.

So here is my hopeful upload schedule rn:

• Tess fluff drabble upload tonight

• Olivia smut upload sometime next week

• part 2 to the Tess ‘ denying feelings ‘ drabble upload sometimes next week ( rn it’s bordering on drabble to becoming a small one shot so we will see )

And in the works too I currently have:

• Helen Norville one shot ( smut and angst )

• long Jackson Tess fic the one I’ve been talking about for months ( fluff, angst and smut )

• enemies to not really lovers hate sex ( pure smut, unbelievably heavy on the degrading as requested )

Of course as always with me this is all subject to change because I lose and gain motivation so fast lmao ( I’ve also worked 7 days straight so I’m a sleepy gal rn ) but I’m hoping this year to get more into the swing of writing so! Here we are :)

And remember my requests are always open

#messrs lil rambles #the post tonight and liv I am almost certain will be uploaded as said #and a lot of other things are almost complete. #looking good! #tess servopoulos #Tess servopoulos x reader #Olivia Dunham x reader #Helen Norville x reader

[thestobingirlie]

Chapters: 1/3

Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: Steve Harrington & Everyone, Maxine “Max” Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, Robin Buckley/Vickie

Characters: Steve Harrington, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair, Maxine “Max” Mayfield, Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley, Steve Harrington’s Mother, Steve Harrington’s Father, Vickie (Stranger things), Eddie Munson

Additional Tags: Alternative Universe - Canon Divergence, Dead Steve Harrington, (for now) - Freeform, Grief/Mourning, Season/Series 04, minor Steve and Jesus parallels, Minor Character Death

Summary:

As of March 21st 1986, Steve Harrington has been dead exactly eight months and seventeen days.

#my birthday surprise <3 #i’ll add more tags as i post more chapters #this is admittedly a bit of a boring one. but this is the set up! there isn’t going to be loads happening plot wise #saint stephen #steve harrington #dustin henderson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #stranger things #liv’s fics