#ONE LAST THING no new art but I’m finishing the last of my commissions!!!! I’ll post all at once when I’m done :DD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rococospade · 8 months

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Have some Letho attempts, in oil paints(!)

Art, life and cat updates under the cut.

Art update:

I’ve opened commissions again for the next two months (October-November 2023). The last one in my queue is nearly finished, and I’m excited to share it — though I’ll have to crop the tumblr version substantially. I’ve also been working on tutorial content for digital painting. Monie’s been poking me for years to do one on sheer fabric, and I’m trying to edit that between other tasks. I’ve thought about doing one for scars as well — is there anything you struggle with that you’d be interested to see a tutorial or tip-sheet for?

In terms of personal work I’ve struggled to connect with my digital painting in the last few months, so I’ve been working more with traditional mediums. I love watercolour, I’ve been fiddling with my oil pastels since I don’t want them to go bad (they keep for about 3 years past opening, apparently) and I’ve wanted to try oil painting for years. Last week I finally took the leap and bought some water soluble oil paints: pictured above is my first attempt with them.

Oil paints are slippery little bastards — I had a teacher tell me “it’s like painting with colourful mud” over a decade ago when discussing them, and that sort of prepared me. I finally get it. They move constantly, even if it looks dry it’s likely not, I have no idea what I’m doing, disposal is a pain, I am wrong at every step, and I love them. Oil painting looks so cool! It’s so much easier to rework than acrylics! This is not always a good thing! I’m having a great time :)

Naturally, upon getting a new and notoriously difficult medium, I dispensed with looking up guides (surely things I watched or read months and years ago are sufficient for right now?) and sat down to screw around with the paints a few evenings ago. This resulted in a muddy mess even with a limited palette, but I’m a toxic goblin who doesn’t learn, so I shrugged and started working with the muddy tones to try and fix it.

@silverscalestudios was kind enough to give me a quick and dirty explanation on workflow when they found out what I was doing. Thank you again for that! I spent a while last night reading about various forms of underpainting because of you, and will give brunaille a try. I knew underpaintings were a thing but I didn’t know *why* or how important they really are — it didn’t occur to me the oil colours would be so transparent. Hopefully the next picture will be a little bit neater as a result of your intervention — thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me about it!

I found some useful videos on YouTube as well, but I’m struggling with colour temperature shifts. Some studies might be in order.

As usual I’m not satisfied with anything I do for long. My current goals are to learn more of the body’s simplified muscle groups, simplify my compositions more, and make more illustrations with character interaction as the focus. Also, I guess, to gain some competence with the mediums I’m playing with — but that’s a bonus more than a goal. Oil pastels especially are just so pleasant to work with that even if I hate the result, the process is too enjoyable to complain. And failure is how we learn.

Potentially useful tip, buried for anyone who read this far: assign yourself studies for the projects you’re currently working on. This took me far too long to learn, but if you struggle with doing general studies for the sake of them, do them to prep for a specific painting instead. If you suspect something will be difficult (the hand gesture, the colour scheme, lighting, expression, whatever) grab or make some ref and doing a couple of studies, so you can fail quickly and make ugly versions. It’s a huge timesaver when it comes to the final piece. My big, detailed paintings usually take 10-20 hours, so I’d like to get any difficult elements sorted before I start whenever possible.

For an example of studies for a painting: the four roughly scribbled Letho’s in coloured pencil on this post — those were done after I had my composition sketched onto the canvas, to figure out what I wanted to do for colours. And I’m glad I did! I tried the analogous scheme on a whim, and if I hadn’t done this study, I’d have played it safe and gone with a mostly neutral palette. Next time I’ll also do some lighting studies so I have a detailed plan for those before I start painting. Traditional media in general involves a lot more concrete planning than digital, and working with it is underscoring how many bad habits I have — especially with massively reworking paintings mid-process.

I did have a photo reference I was using for this painting (one of the images from the rogue warrior reference pack by Noah Bradley) with the lighting and hair modified to try to resemble something I’d seen another digital artist do, and by awkwardly tilting an asaro head in my kitchen to figure out how the lighting would work. There’s a relatively common lighting scheme in anime-esque art where just the tip of the nose is lit. It’s cute, but playing with the asaro head, I found that the top half of the area around the mouth should also catch at least a bit of light. The lighting ended up being repainted into something more standard for this, but you can see the triangle of light on the upper mouth area in the wips.

Life update:

Well, it was a nice run, but spouse and I finally caught corona last month >< that was horrible. I got lucky, in that I only had for a week or so and it was a mild case. Now I’ve mostly recovered except for a cough. “Mild” is still probably the sickest I’ve been in my life. Do not recommend. Will be going for the booster as soon as I’m able to, I do not want that shit ever again.

I’ve been doing a bunch of new things like sashiko (satisfying), trying to make pie crust (hard! But delicious, and the ingredients are cheap enough that I don’t cry over failure. Please give making pie crust a try, if you haven’t, it’s really not that complicated — the recipe I’m using only calls for 3-4 ingredients, and it’s so versatile. We’ve had like four quiches in the last week and a half) and trying to cook more. Adulting is hard. I’m also considering more decorative embroidery attempts, because I’m reentering my goth phase and want to customise my clothes with little mushrooms and skulls :) it would be cute.

About the cats:

Cloud is cancer-free! She has to get rechecks every three months, but the little monster made it. She celebrates by trying to sleep with her butthole on my face, which is terrible. I love her dearly. I wish she would stop with the butthole thing though.

Sheik is currently taking her turn as the cat with medical problems. She couldn’t eat for a few days and the vet rushed us in when we called. The vet came in and informed me that she wasn’t eating… because she had gas. It’s in her small intestine, which isn’t supposed to have gas in it for cats? Good job, you little weirdo. She’s getting further checks or it this month.

We also adopted an adolescent cat. He’s bonded very well with Tez, whom our other cats — well, they don’t hate him, but they’re a bit aloof. Tez is very big and a bit like a bowling ball with teeth, and most of our cats are old (or Jetta, who is full of bitter hate) and do not appreciate being tackled by said bowling ball. The kitten loves him, and Tez seems much happier for the company. He’s more gentle with kittens than adults. Not all of the cats are thrilled, but our oldest queens have accepted the kitten, so it should be smoother sailing from here. Unfortunately they like to play at 8am, so I am suddenly on an adult sleep schedule for the first time since working from home. Nothing like a teenage cat launching himself onto your abdomen to get the day started :) They were yelling at each other as I typed this, but now he’s laying beside me like a prince. … and attacking my cardigan. Nevermind.

Currently trying to find more ways to install cat climbs and enrichment, since we’re running out of corners for cat trees. Debating the merits of a cat run — we have very tall walls, which is neat but also I don’t trust these guys not to fall off. If we could spring for a modular system that would be neat.

If you’re getting two cats, pro tip: get two with similar coat patterns but different sizes. You will hate yourself. It’s very funny, and you can disorient any house guests!

#Rococo rambles #personal #rococospade art #Long post

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spaceumbredoggos · 2 months

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So much for stardust Chapter Thirteen

Kenz’s POV:

The sound of Dipper’s coughing woke me up. I noticed that Ford wasn’t in the room. I looked at the couch and saw a brand new phone right beside me. It wasn’t an android or IPhone, but a new phone that’s Ford’s unique invention. I immediately started setting it up with my old contacts, as well as the new contacts.

I went upstairs and noticed Mabel and Wendy chatting. “So if Pokémon are technically the animals of their universe, does that mean it’s considered bestiality and zoophilic to fuck one? Is the vaporeon copypasta bestiality?”

I choked on my water at Mabel’s abrupt sentence and breathed a sigh of relief that there were no kids in the room. “I’m not a hundred percent sure, I mean, in the Japanese version of the Sinnoh games, a library book said that people used to marry Pokemon.”

Why the fuck are they having this conversation? I immediately left the room, walking into the living room. Dipper was loudly blowing his nose. “Dipper. Can you believe what your sister is talking about?”

“They’ve been having this discussion all morning.” Dipper’s voice was nasally and scratchy. I had to stifle my laugh because it kept cracking like a kindergartener’s. “What brought this up?”

“Someone asked if SpongeBob was a furry, so it escalated from there. It was an interesting morning. Also, we found your stash of—”

“Have you guys been going through my stuff?” I grumbled, suddenly aware that I have been out of commission the entire week and haven’t got a chance to move in. “We may have had to in order to set up your room. We didn’t find anything gross, but we found a lot of cringy OC’s in your art, which were well drawn.”

“Why would I keep anything sus within reach of you hooligans?” Dipper burst out laughing so hard that he started to cough again. “I’m going to make my fucking breakfast. If I hear a single one of you fuckers shout the vaporeon copypasta, I’ll scalp you and hang those scalps to scare the coyotes.”

I went into the kitchen, opening the cupboards to get some cereal, only for a bunch of ping pong balls to fall out. “What the fuck?”

“Oops. That was supposed to be for Soos.” Stan was laughing his ass off. “You know he’s sick with the flu? This is the last thing he needs!!!” I grabbed the cereal and poured it, then the milk, into the bowl. I started eating when Wendy walked in. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I finished my food and washed my bowl in the sink, then sat back down. I sat down on the couch, then noticed Dipper was passed out on the couch. He was hardly breathing and his breaths were raspy and distressed. “Shit.” I put my phone down and felt Dipper’s forehead. “He’s burning up. Someone has to get him some medicine. Where’s Ford when you need him?”

I heard him cough in his room. “Out sick.” Wendy coughed, wiping her nose. “They’re dropping like flies.” I paced back and forth. “Someone should go and get some medicine from CVS.”

“I’ll do it.” Wendy volunteered, but I shook my head. “You look pale. You should head home.”

“But—“

“I’ll cover your shift. Mabel is the only one who hasn’t caught this besides me. I’ll send her to get the medicine. Go home and rest.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s time I start beating my weight around here.” I put my foot down, heading to the cash register. “Have you even worked retail before?”

“It doesn’t matter. You can’t work sick. You look like you walked out of your own open casket funeral. This is a bad flu, as in, it sucks more than anything. If it can knock out Dipper cold, it’s gonna get you. I’m not letting you take this chance.”

Wendy paused as she realized that I wasn’t backing down. “Fine.” She packed up her things and went home as I put on a name tag and sat at the register. I watched a pair of toddlers sticking their fingers in the gnome cage. I walked up to the toddlers, but before I can react, one of them got bitten and started bawling. I bolted over to the ice chest and grabbed some ice and disinfectant, as well as a first aid kit. I rubbed the toddler’s back and gave him a hug. “It’s okay. That gnome was scary, wasn’t it? Probably not a good idea to stick your hand in there.” I bandaged the toddler’s hand before a woman bolted up to me and swatted me away. “Ouch.”

“What the fuck are you doing to my kid, you pervert!!!!” The woman had a typical Karen haircut and she picked up her child, who started bawling again. “Please refrain from using that type of language in front of your kids, ma’am. He simply stuck his hand in the gnome cage and got bitten. I treated the injury with ice, an antiseptic and anti-gnome serum, then wrapped it with the bandage. But I had to calm him down first.”

“Kenz was really nice. They even gave me a lolly!!!”

“UNACCEPTABLE!!! YOU QUEER FOLK MAKE ME SICK!!! LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER TO GET A REFUND OR I WILL SUE YOU FOR GROOMING, YOU PREDATOR!!!”

Suddenly, I could see my father’s ice blue eyes staring back at me. Tears welled up in my face as the woman got out her phone and started filming. Rage bubbled beneath the surface, but I kept my cool and turned around. “Look at me when I’m talking to you, Ma’am!!!”

“I am not a ma’am. I have no gender.”

“You are a Ma’am. God made you a woman, so be one!!!” The Karen slapped me across my face, knocking me down as I stared at her. Does she even know where she is? Gravity Falls has the highest queer population in the entire United States. Possibly the world. It’s the only US town that bans anyone remotely homophobic. How did she get in?

I tried to stand up, but I was smacked down again. “Come on, Timmy and Carter. We’re leaving this freak town. Let me call my lawyer.”

“But mommy, Kenz was—“

“A failure to society who only works retail in this town of freaks. Look at their TikTok and instagram. They’re a furry. I bet they use the litterbox and identify as a cat.”

I couldn’t hold back my rant any longer. “Y’know if you kids did half the research I did, you’d know that most the furry stereotypes are false, and furries with fursuits have enough money to be considered members of congress. A furry is just a fandom, like Star Trek and Pokemon. It’s basically people who like anthro animals, which have been a thing in human society since the dawn of time. I’m sure that as long as humanity has existed, furries have also existed, just in a different form. Now for individuals that NONPHYSICALLY, I repeat, NONPHYSICALLY, identify as animals or other species, that’s therians and other kin, which also has existed as long as there have been humans. People who physically identify as animals and actually use litter boxes actually have clinical zooanthropy and need to seek psychiatric help.”

“That’s something a furry would say—“

“And the whole litterbox thing. That’s a hoax spread by transphobic Tucker Carlsons who advocate for the legal genocide of innocent people who don’t fit the cishetero norm. I can’t believe that as a society we allow rich white geriatric pigs to stay in charge whilst our youth is struggling on the streets. Those pigs brand it as a substance abuse issue when it’s so much fucking more. It’s so fucking easy for anyone who doesn’t have an established wealth in this country to end up homeless, it’s sickening. Especially if you’re a minority.” I stood my ground, but the Karen wasn’t budging at all. “How dare you use Tucker Carlson’s name in that light!!! Shame on you!!! You’ll burn in hell for spreading your queer agenda.”

I kept my cool until the Karen smacked me in the face with her purse so hard that my ears rang and my nose bled. I laid on the floor as the Karen ran away towards the door. Feeling every sense of rationality fade from me, I rushed at the Karen and bit her on the forearm. She swiped me off and pepper sprayed me in the eyes, blinding me as I laid on the floor in a daze. I didn’t even realize that I was on all fours. I also failed to notice that I was a slate grey almost black wolf like creature with electric blue umbreon-like rings on my ears, forehead, tail, and legs, with black draconic like wings with electric blue rings. My wrists and ankles had barbs as well as my tail and wings. The thing that hinted me of the transformation was the Karen’s scream of terror. “FUR FREAK!!!” She immediately started calling 911 as I stood up, seeing my reflection in the mirror. No no no no no.

Everything was going wrong as I bolted outside, fleeing into the woods. I climbed up a tree all the way to the top, trying to force myself to transform back. “No. This is just a dream! A fever dream!! Yeah. I got sick with the flu too! I’m just passed out on the couch and having a fever dream!!!” I bit at my foreleg, and the pain was real. “Pain doesn’t prove anything.” I bit myself again, and this time, I had realized that this was indeed happening.

“No no no. The prophecy can’t be true. I have to turn back!!!” I fell out of the tree and realized that I didn’t break anything. “Fuck!!!” I then realized that a one armed lady with grey hair and one amber and one grey eye wearing a red shirt and black patchy pants holding a staff had broken my fall.

“Hey!!! Watch where you’re going!!” I bolted off before realizing that I had caught my neck in a snare. No no no!!!

#gravity falls #self insert #self insert oc #wendy corduroy #mabel pines #dipper pines #so much for stardust

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jade-everstone · 5 months

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Art Goals for 2024

This post is a mirror of a post on my website (here)

It’s a few days into the new year. While the feelings of uncertainty from 2023 still lingers, I set myself a handful of goals going forward to give myself some sense of direction, 8 in fact, though I’ll mostly be focusing on my art-related goals here.

Technical improvement isn’t a major focus this year (I mean, I just did 4+ years of that lol). I think it’s time to focus on more external factors of art, like gaining some stability, pouring more focus into doing it part-time while maintaining the personal side. As well as strengthening skills not directly related to illustration. It’s something that’s fell to the wayside until senior year of college, and now that I’m out of school I think at least for this year I can let these factors overtake direct art improvement.

Finish PC-Mania!

My short webseries! This was launched as part of my senior thesis, but has had multiple hiccups in terms of production. This year I want to smooth out those bumps & be able to wrap it up by the end of this year. The reason I say by the end of this year? My drafts are roughly 40 pages, and even with my other plans for this year I’ll have more time on my hands to focus on comics. So I’m pretty confident I can wrap it up regardless of how it happens.

Launch Support Streams related to my art

This one was inevitable. Even if it’s a goal of part time vs. full time, I want to be able to do art as a career. Meaning I have to have some form of income to be able to continue doing it comfortably. This one will need time to sort-out though since there are hurtles; Notably my overall lack of reach, as well as inflation times.

Lack of reach is likely due to struggling with consistent posting (even reposts & WIPs slip by me), not wanting to completely bend my practices to algorithms, and migrating between platforms. So that one may be harder to sort-out while keeping it fair to my self & my limits. Inflation is tricky. Art is a luxury afterall, and when the cost of living has skyrocketed across the board I don’t blame people for choosing food and rent over art. I’m likely going to keep it to one-time payments & tip jars indefinitely since I don’t want to launch subscriptions in a time where people looking to cancel them to make ends meet. Plus, with my issues with consistent posting, I’m not in a position to be doing subscription-based works & would also like to better sort out my boundaries before even considering (ie: I don’t want anything that could potentially lead to people feeling entitled to my attention).

I still want to try pushing for commissions & freelance, even with a lack of success over the past few years. Though I also want to look more into online shops & tabling since last year, all of the money I made from art was from IRL sales. So it’s a matter finding those events that are original-art & zine friendly (I’m uninterested in monetizing fanart beyond commissions. Fanart to me = Personal art & I’d like to keep it that way). As well as researching more into online shops as a means to get things out there outside of the convention space.

Better-establish OC Lore & Worlds

This one is likely gonna be harder than it sounds. Because on one hand I am excited about these project, but I’ve always struggled with getting ideas-to-paper. While I don’t want to claim much since I don’t have an official diagnosis as of writing, I’m very sure I have ADHD meaning getting down schedules, and getting projects done before I jump to another interest has been a long-term struggle. It’s part of what hampered PC-Mania & reach, and hampers my ability to put more info about the projects I’m working on & are excited about (hell last year, I think I ended up drawing Io way more than art for said projects…).

I don’t know if there’s any “ADHD-friendly guides to maintaining projects before you forget them” out there (I’d argue most project guides & tips I’ve seen don’t consider it), so I’m pretty sure I’m on my own in this department. Currently I’m thinking about leveraging my website for this since it’s meant to be a work archive as is, and even if progress is inconsistent it’ll at least give me a central hub to link back to.

If you are curious, the main one I want to establish is Doverhill! It’s where a PC-Mania takes place for reference, and it’s set in modern times in the fictional town of Doverhill MA. Perfectly normal, except for the occasional paranormal encounter. The main cast that has to deal with them are a group of friends & neighbors who live in an apartment complex together. Story-wise it’s an episodic comedy about the sheer absurdity that is life. Even if it’s not a hard world-building project, it deserves a central hub to link back to.

The other one I’m debating on is Fang and Iron, a dark-sci-fantasy world building project about demon-hunting androids. But I think it needs more time in the oven, and I don’t plan on making it a main focus for a long time.

Learn Blender for making assets & Blocking

I’ve thought about the other skills I’d like to strengthen & learn for future projects, notably writing skills, drawing mecha, desktop publishing software, and 3D. But I picked learning 3D, since I feel like this one will have a ton of versatility in terms of making references for myself. If you’re wondering using 3D assets for references is extremely common, especially within the world of comics where you need to re-draw backgrounds and props. So having knowledge on how to block out scenes in blender will help massively in the long run, especially when my schedule starts filling up again.

(now I just need to finish that donut)

Shorter Comic Project?

I’m considering this one optional, but if I can squeeze in another smaller 8-16pg comic or zine along the lines of 9:15 Slushie I’d like to. I have an Idea I want to do for it (an idea that existed before 9:15 slushie did!) so the next step is carving out time to make it happen

Those are my main art goals of 2024. For the other 3 main resolutions of mine, I’ll list a short summary of those instead:

Get a job alongside art (I’ll need it. Bills be upon me + even with help from family members, I’d like to transition into being self-sustaining & be able to front the costs for my supplies & projects going forward)

Get my Drivers License (Also needed, especially if I want to continue tabling & other hobbies, and for getting to whatever job I end up at)

Get better at IIDX (and by extension BMS) so I can say I suck at normal 7’s vs normal 4’s lol (my only “hobby” goal of this year. I’ve wanted to get into IIDX for a long time too, so since I’m planning on getting my license & income anyways, I’ll see if I can squeeze this one in)

#rambles #2024 #art goals #new years resolution

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oksullen · 8 months

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I SAW U ON MY NOTIFS OMG ITS BEEN SO LONG HOW ARE YOU??

I don’t know why I just saw this omg!! I’ve been good :) I’ve been working a lot and busy with classes and just everything else life has to offer 😂

Willow is almost 2 years old now!! and she’s gotten so big and she’s been much more well behaved too!!

I’ve been on and off Tumblr and usually just go on to read some stuff on my favorite fandoms which surprisingly there isn’t a lot of the things im looking for!! I’ve really taking a liking to My Hero Academia but specifically 3 characters- Best Jeanist, Edgeshot, and Stain which there is like NO new content on them!! I haven’t finished the anime yet since im more of a manga reader than an anime watcher 😔

but more on Best Jeanist- I have become addicted to his character 😭 I’ve rebranded some of my usernames to him and I have a collection of merchandise of him on my shelf!! It started as a joke but it’s not a joke anymore!! same with Stain and Edgeshot, but most of my money has gone to Best Jeanist. I’m so sad there’s not much content on him, I say I’ll just write my own but that isn’t true- LOL but that’s ok, I can just use my free time to think of silly little scenarios of him in my head!!

Here’s a picture of my current anime collection, it’s slightly outdated but you get the idea:

Not pictured is a couple One Piece things since I’ve really started to like One Piece again and a couple plushies including a plushie of Shinsuke Kita from Haikyuu because he will always be my favorite (and Tsukishima too!! remember when my user was kaleshima!!)

I’ve always been taking a liking to making an OC and just my oc overall!! She’s mainly a MHA oc with a freaky blood/guts/gore manipulation power (it’s kind dark but I think it’s cool) and omg she’s taken up so much of my time and brain space, I feel like I’ve done more in depth creation of her than of myself 😂 I’ve also been buying a lot of art commissions of her!! I’ll attach a few images below, but I like talking about her so much that if I end up coming back here I might do some writing for her since I’d love someone or some place to talk about her :) all credits to the locket artists, I don’t think any of them have Tumblr though-: (the first image is her with Best Jeanist and the last is her with Stain!!)

I also have gotten into JJK but im still new to it, only watching the first couple episodes and reading the leaks 😭 which is a GREAT way to start omg

Also, don’t you love it when old hyper fixations come back??!??! yeah, that’s me right now with Mortal Kombat!! I’ve been a fan for almost 10 years now and the new game is so good!! and the characters omg… they made them so good 😍 thankfully Tumblr has a lot on them!!

but other than some things coming and going there hasn’t been a lot of new stuff in my life but compared to last year my mood and health has been so much better which is a win in my eyes, plus im starting to like a new guy which is good because I got my heart absolutely shattered little over a year ago and I swear I thought I was never going to recover, but recovery is possible and I give myself a lot of credit for the things I’ve done despite life seemingly staying the same.

I hope to move out of my parents house soon and continue my education further and my social life and all that but ik that won’t happen until a few years which seems like forever but seeing how 2023 has gone by so fast, I have a feeling it’s going to come quicker than it seems

I always say I want to come back to writing on this app and honestly I am in need of a new hobby because yeah listening to music is great but it doesn’t get you far!! which by the way, also a hyper fixation, bands and music and all that- I am really big into Nirvana right now and plan on dressing up as the lead singer Kurt Cobain for Halloween- which is funny I am dressing up because for the first time I have no plans for Halloween!! I’ll probably just bake some goodies and watch scary movies. How is Halloween celebrated where you are, if at all? American culture is so funny- and it’s funny because America doesn’t have much culture, it’s just one big melting pot which makes it unique

Speaking of music, my favorite artists are probably Nirvana (which is a band) and so is Radiohead, Weezer, The Smiths, Ghost, and Korn (which are rock/metal bands, I really recommend them if you’re into that!!) but I also really like Melanie Martinez, Lana Del Rey, Mitski, Alex G, and a couple other solo artists (fun fact, I went to many concerts over the summer including Melanie and Weezer- they were so good!!) what kind of music do you listen to? any you recommend?!

Half way typing this too, I thought of the idea of coming back to Tumblr to write not just drabbles on my current hyper fixations but maybe some life advice and psychology stuff, I have a way with words and advice and all that even though I am considered “to young to know all this” but I see it as both good and bad having an old soul at a young age- and not to say I am a little child either, but I haven’t even been on this earth for 20 years yet, soon enough though

That all being said, I feel like a huge chapter of my life is coming to a wrap up soon and I am excited to start the new one!! I’ve been on this app forever even though I technically shouldn’t have had Tumblr as a pre-teen but hey, we all start somewhere!!

How have you been? Anything new and exciting? Or maybe something you’ve learned? I’ve been trying to learn new hobbies and I’ve started to really dig into what I want to do as a career since I have to really decided soon (I am doing community college right now which is a free 2-3 year schooling opportunity to earn credits before you go off and study a minor or major- not sure if you have that where you live and if you do it’s still probably different)

Anyways I want to study business and business management since I have taken a liking to running/leading an organization/group and coming up with marketing ideas for various groups I spend my time in- including theatre!! I have a local theatre group I work in backstage and I am the stage manager this year which is great since I want to going into management

It’s “late” where I am- actually it’s just 9:30 but I go to bed early especially when I have things to do the next day 😔 I’ll probably just use the excuse I am tired to run to Starbucks and spend my money like I always do. I really have become addicted to Starbucks and it’s only going to worsen as “Capitalism Christmas” comes next

Holidays are so silly to me too, I don’t really enjoy them because they’ve always seemed to cheesy and not like they “advertise” but I hope to make the best of it this year, even if it just ends up being me working that day and then coming home to my dog. What Holidays do you enjoy? Any certain traditions or events you’re looking forward to?

I’ve written down most of my thoughts and this has been the most I’ve written in ages!! Maybe I should answer more asks from now on to get myself into the writing kick!! 😂

I hope you’ve been well and I hope we can talk more soon!! I totally just remembered we have each other on discord too!! I changed my user to @bestkaleist (Best Jeanist reference) so if you’re confused as to who that is, it’s me!!

wishing you all the well!! 🥬

#kale rambles #kale moots #pea !!#mutuals

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bunanawhale · 6 months

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Bunanalogs: Quick Update

Hello everyone! I know it’s been a while but I’m here for a little update :D

So just recently, I’ve finished working on my finals which means I’ll be more active at posting art here and there! Right now, however, I’m a little burnt out so I’m taking a bit of a break but until then, I want to say thank you for sticking around and continuously supporting me and my art despite my inactivity :’)

Also, in relation to Project Blue, I’ve recently received news about a (possibly) upcoming route for Eden! The server is currently holding a survey and asking for feedback before we get started, so if you’re interested in participating and relaying your opinions, please go check it out!

And one last update: my commissions are still open! I haven’t been able to advertise much due to how busy I was with classes and personal life but now that I have a bit more free time til the next semester, I’ll be keeping my commissions open :) If you’re interested, you can check on my pinned post to see my open slots as well as where you can commission me!

Anyway, I think that’s it for now. I can’t believe how time flew so quickly, it feels like yesterday was just March 😭 Nevertheless, I’m truly grateful for all the love and support I’ve received for my art and Project Blue. It was my very first time joining a game jam, and it makes me happy how well-received it was. I’m very excited to see how things will work out for us soon, and I hope people will enjoy the possibility of Eden’s route coming out!

Thank you, once again, for reading this far and I hope you have a lovely day 🩵🐳

#bunanalogs #<- also decided to make a new tag since I kinda wanna do lil logs abt things every now and then :)#its very silly-sounding and i like it!!

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evilovesyou · 1 year

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The lovely @ddeerr tagged me to post the following 3 things:

Currently reading

I haven’t had time to read a lot recently but I’m working through a few books right now… Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice, The Husky and His White Cat Shizun by Meatbun, and re-reading Tian Guan Ci Fu and Mo Dao Zu Shi by MXTX as I get the physical copies of the official translation.

I read a few mdzs fics while on holiday recently, but the last fic I read was Soft Wings by @kingsofeverything 💞 (yes, this means you’re tagged!)

Last song I listened to

Wild Grey Ocean by Sam Fender

Currently working on

Work-wise I started a new job as a design and shop assistant for a local label this week, which is very fun so far! In my private endeavours I just finished a very tedious project this morning and I’m now going to get into my next one. It’s a commissioned pattern for a historically inspired corset and I’m very excited about it!

In writing I wrote an article for a small local paper this week. I also recently wrote a couple of poems. And I researched a bunch of stuff sorta related to a fic I would like to write for @1dreligionfest, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to get that done in time 🙈

I’m also itching to do some art, but I’ve just been too busy recently. :/

I’ll tag @whatagreatproblemtohave @chaotic-bells @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @asmicarus @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @paradise-compass @fallinglikethis @lululawrence and @hazzabeeforlou if you’re up for it 💖

#currently reading #music recs #personal #tags

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sigriidrodriguez · 1 year

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The cycle

This is a new blog. It’s starting over, because I really want to separate my real persona from the online one. This is probably the first and last vent I’m gonna post, and after that, you’ll only see my art here. Last year it’s finally over. I didn’t reach my goals. I left many issues unresolved, many promises unfulfilled, and made a lot of wrong decisions. I won’t begin this year swearing that I’m gonna do better and grow as a person, just in case that doesn’t happen, at least to the degree that I would want it to happen. The only thing I can say for now is that I apologize, to every single person that I failed. Sorry for not answering my asks and chat, for never finishing the drawings, for committing to things that in the end I didn’t do. I know I could say I had my reasons, which I did, but damn, I could at least have told you beforehand. Anyways… Some things are gonna change. Not because I want them to change, but because I’m entering a period of my life were if that doesn’t happen, I won’t be able to grow up.

So, first off, request are closed. I’ll only finish those one that I received on 2022, and then I’ll be only making commissions.

Secondly, I can do better. I wouldn’t say my art sucks, but I really feel like I never showed my true potential out there. Not throwing flowers to myself here, just saying that I could do so much more if I sat down and took myself seriously.

Thirdly, I don’t think this blog is gonna be as personal as before. Now that I have a couple followers, maybe it needs a change of direction. I’ve always wanted to do illustration for a living, but never really took that step forward. And I decided that here and now it’s the best moment.

And lastly, it’s 4am, and my brain hurts. To everyone who was kind to me, you have no idea how much I appreciate that. Especially you, special little dragon person. You know who you are <3. Happy Crisis and Merry New Year.

______________________________________________________________

This is a post I made a year ago, you know. And if you read this until the end, remember you matter. Don’t let anyone stop you from following your dreams. Life hits hard sometimes, but it always gets better again. It’s not easy and it takes a lot of effort, but life still can change. Just keep fighting <3.

#digital art #digital artist #digital illustration #art #artist #vent #monochrome #monochromatic #fireflies #Sigriid

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penname-artist · 1 year

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Newewews

Sum shit been happenin’, so in case there was a noticed lack of me, I’ve had company over this week, and we’ve been going and going and going and I am mentally pooped. I have no more spoons, my body turned into noodles on me yesterday (although maybe that was more the fault of the CBD...more on that in a sec)

But I’ll be back to doing my stuff again towards the end of this week, after a recovery day and such. But while I’m on the train of next week:

I did not quit my job last week. Believe me, I was gonna, I planned it, and then right ON the day I was set to leave, something interesting happened. The [new] manager had me start teaching how to do planograms and label changes and all my regular job to two new hires. All was going swimmingly. And then he pulled me aside and went “PLEASE I need you, I need your brain, can you work supplemental?”

So, I said I would, and we talked it over with the district manager as well and my title, officially, has been moved to part-time. This way I have the same set time to come into work, but I can work more hours in the week if need be. And what time do I work you might ask?

Three hours a week. T’ursday, nine to noon. I’m working, while not working, and making something to cover smaller expenses while I focus on my other goals. AND I can keep the shirts. And not need to go through the rehire process later on. Thank you Lord!

And with that set aside now, I can really really focus on my art finally. I have plans to start up some [ugh I actually don’t like them but whatever pays] commission work online through sites like Fiverr and Upwork. I’m also going to invest time into learning a new animation program and uploading videos to my channel a little bit more regularly. I have big goals for 2023 on that front.

And something I’m very deeply debating, in the ways of making content, is doing personal stories. I debated making all those possible stories into animated ones like every other YouTube creator has, but I kinda want to take the content that I’ve made with speedart and combine the two. You can watch me draw a thing and listen to me rattle on about a story at the same time. I may add small animatic elements too, to keep it interesting.

As far as what those stories entail, well I have some lighthearted funny ones I can go over, like my pet history, art camp, actual camping experiences, lots of mental health stories, and maybe down the line some brushing over of my trauma experiences with sudden and unexpected friend losses and grief. That, and/or the repercussions I’ve gone through as a result of that, when I get stressed and my body goes “aw HEEEELLLLL NAW” and shuts itself down.

Fun stuff.

But that’s all on the roadmap, might not get any traction til after the beginning of 2023. But I will be able to get back to writing and drawing and such, I’ve got several projects I’m still trying to get made and finished and posted and they’re being very slow.

But I shall keep y’all posted!

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ya-zz · 11 months

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I feel you so hard on the "when the fuck will I finish it??" point. My own productivity has been absolute trash this year, easily the worst year in that department for me in a loooong time. Just don't have the energy to produce due to some personal issues. I found it's best to focus on the personal matters, doodle here and there when the mood comes, and just... take it easy overall. No pressure. Don't stress yourself out over that, I will patiently wait for whatever you decide to yeet online, and swallow it whole like a snake-

Also gotta love drawing as a form of therapy after a shitty day...

Oh I feel you on the whole productivity thing, mine has been shocking also. I’ve had commissions closed for such a long time this year because I just don’t have the drive to be doing them… but also uni was a major thing this year because of it being the final year. Luckily now that I’ve graduated, I’m hoping to open them back up in time, but currently, the drawing drive has been at a standstill.

I’m doing what I can and that’s what matters. Writing has become the new media format for me, and I’m super glad to be able to share shit here for everyone. That drive has been non stop going and I’m surprised with the activity I haven’t yet burnt out. Maybe it’s the constant pace and new ideas… or the fact I’m not writing the same thing over and over and over… that’s another conversation for another day.

I’ll be lucky to get anymore completed art out there this year, I don’t know, just seems like a chore at the moment… as I said in the last one, I got to the shoulders and then stopped. Was in the right mindset when starting, and then poof it just vanished. Can only hope at this point hahah

#askyazz

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srarlight · 1 year

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Another year another summary! This was... an odd one that's for sure ;v; A lot more IRL shenanigans happened that had my days a bit up and down, but as I tend to be, I'm keeping up the optimism!

A break down of my year under the read more!

So for an art update- I was worried by the time I got to December, that I would find I hadn't actually done too much since my usually source of work like RG took a hit this year. However, between zines, commissions, and new topics that helped me through some days- I was able to have a fair amount to show off here! This year is also heavily marked by me getting an iPad which ended up being a godsend because I often found my self either working 46 hour work weeks or a lil in bed or away from my pc. So in reality most of the art I got done was done on the iPad. So what I accomplished was: More paintings! Mostly for commissions, job prospects, and charity zines. I really like the ones I did finish and I think I am keeping up my art journey up well enough with practice. I also did a fair amount of concept art and character designs for both dnd related hobbies and a secret OG idea I'm collabing on with a friend for after RG is finished which will probably not be a few more years yet. Although if you notice that little blip above, that "fair amount" of the dnd concept art actually turned in a LOT thanks in part to a fixation I have that hasn't weaseled its way into my art much until now. I actually really like fish and ocean themes which mostly manifests in the stuff I own, but while I was dealing with surgeries and happenings, that was kind of like a huge comfort for me. It was mostly sketches and really rudimentary colors, but there ended up being so much of it. I actually am happy to see it because what it also lead to is inadvertently finally learning human anatomy because the fish folk concepts often had human counter parts or family. So FINALLY I'm bucking up and covering what is usually something I avoid like the plague, but now I can say I somewhat have a handle on. Unfortunately, because it's dnd related, I didn't really post much if any of it since it be spoilers for a hand full of people but the surprise is half the fun so maybe one day I'll post a massive collage of all of it. Outside of that I drew a few fancy weapons; made 23 pieces of music; handmade a pile of felt ornaments again; helped my roommate with a Halloween piece; did manage to get RG back in gear; and edited a good few things. Time for the bit of the more- personal stuff all vague like just to serve as a memory capsule for me. Starting off, in march I had my wisdom teeth removed. I know that's basically a common surgery, but in order to get it done I had to uproot my life for about a month to get that done. It wasn't all rough though because I stayed with my family for the entire duration. During that time while I was still a bit roughed up, I started that fish art, but also I got told about a job opportunity from someone I trust that they wanted me to try for. In order to do that I ended up making 3 very involved illustrations. Unfortunately with all that happenings with shows getting cancelled for animation this year, that ended up getting cancelled so that wasn't in the cards for meeee. Eventually I got home and had a few significant life things at least to me. That BF I had last year I ended up breaking up with, not because they did anything wrong, they were sososo very nice, but turns out I'm plenty touch adverse and was rather struggling to feel romantic feelings. I consider my self plenty ace and aromantic so I felt very- "was trying on a coat to see if it works" only to find out that maybe it could work one day, but for now I feel much happier being super platonically involved with the people I care about. That break up was rocky at the start but we recovered and are still great friends which was a relief cause I really do feel strongly about my friends. On a happier note I got to do several trips with friends this year! Saw the redwoods, went to local cons, & went on a road trip with my roommate and fair. I'm on team- go have experience with your friends when you can now or at least do friend activities online so I actually, for me at least, was out and about or was in voice calls a lot with friends. I really liked it and I feel enriched for it ;v; There were a few more negative things. Some additional situations that changed my life some that were hard and some stuff with my family where I had to give away at a lot to try and help them keep afloat. Family struggled with health this year a lot so I do fret over that. Also had a SECOND oral surgery. My gum just straight up ripped on me and I needed to get a skin graft that saw me distracted for another half a month or so while I was a mashed food gremlin and a lil unhappy about the pain stuff :T cost a pretty penny like the first one did, but rather that then have roots exposed. And for additional expensive things, I spent a good few dollars fixing stuff with my car. Was unpleasant but like 4/5ths of that is done. End of the year is fairing alright though! Still got savings despite all of that, still in a good home with nice roommates, & with plans to visit more friends in the future where ever I can squeeze it out. Oh and this was the first year I tried text RPs with close friends with our ocs and yeah turns out I can enjoy that too, but probably only with friends hah. So yeeeep I think that's most of what happened. Basically could have been worse and could have been better, but I'm still super thankful for the nice things that did happen. No matter what things happen this next year, if I can keep up hanging with friends, making art I enjoy, and scraping time to see little chunks of the world- I'll be good!!

#my art #art summary #life stuff

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drawloverlala · 1 year

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May Status Update

It’s May! well basically like an hour into it lol 😆, anyways I wanted to write an entry about stuff and the progress on my current commission batch!

Commission batch work in progress:

🌸 Commissions without background: 11 in total

1 still not started

3 still on sketch phase

1 is on base colors

5 are finished!

🌸 Commissions with background: 4 in total

still not started: 2

sketch in progress: 3

from last time I got 2 commissions more, that before I was waiting on which listing they were supposed to belong to, it was basically 1 and 1 from each one!

and yeah, I’m hoping to keep making progress on these this new month! and I’m looking forward to try some other stuff as well!

some more ramblings under the line here

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I recently finished some notebooks I was working on since the beginning of this year, and I’m hoping to be able to sell them on Facebook maybe? I don’t intend to make too much with them since, they’re still far from very professional looking notebooks 😅, but I’m also wanting to invest on more supplies, and I’m taking notes as well to keep learning how to make these better!

I certainly learned a lot during the process of making these XD, I made a lot of mistakes as well lol

Also, here you can see the 2 designs I did, I did another one but the printer ran out of ink and I couldn’t use it lol, (another thing I gotta invest in the future is inks or maybe a new printer lol) and you can see here my Cinch machine!

honestly I’m super tired, I finished these today and I had to store all materials and such again... and ugh... I seriously NEED a shelf to put all these machines and supplies, every time I’m going to use them I gotta take them all out of boxes and they are all under more boxes...gotta put them on boxes again and put everything again in order next to my bed..it also doesn’t look all too nice in there, so I’m going to start seriously looking for shelves next month 😆

Other thing I wanted to ramble about, I recently got into Inkblot! it’s a new art site, it has like around 1 year I think?, it’s still in development but so far it’s been pretty alright, Here’s my site so far:

I’ve been wanting to use it to put all my commission art, I’ve finally catch up to last year’s work, so I can start posting this year work! I also want to put my other works here, kinda using it as a general gallery like the one I had with Deviant art.

There’s still so much I haven’t put here, but slowly filling with art! still doesn’t feel as my old DA’s gallery and sometimes the site loads pretty slowly, but I want to give it a chance since it’s still pretty new, I look forward to see how it evolves. the community part at least seems pretty chill so far!

also has this very cool feature, where you can make comparisons!! it has a sort of thing that you move it and you can see the difference between both pictures.

I’ll definitely still be using Tumblr for art gallery as well, I already have posted a lot of art here anyways lol, I’ve managed to organize a lot of my art with the tags as well, although I think I’ll also be separating commission art without background and with backgrounds, that way they are all not too mixed up!

Oh also, I’ve learned about Neocities! recently people were talking about it on Twitter, and seems like a cool option for a personalized website! although may first have to learn more about html coding 😆

Neocities is an open source site, you can own a site here and customize it however you want, but you gotta do it from scratch! it’s honestly pretty cool, I think customization of Tumblr themes is pretty close to this,

but even so, if you check the sites from here just for fun, THEY ARE FANTASTIC! it’s like taking a look at internet in 2008, the customization value is so cool!

I personally find very fun the customization options like this, I may want to give this a try some day 😄

Well I think that’s all, this ramble became a bit too long lol but well, thanks if you read this far!

Hope you have a great first week of May!

#my ramblings #talking about some websites also #Inkblot #neocities

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kree-katart · 1 year

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What an insane year. I’m no longer in four of my multi year long campaigns, I quit my night job to work on art full time, and I started (and dropped) all kinds of projects.

-Last January feels like a different me, not in style but in what I was doing. I did Icons and mostly DnD Illustration work through the winter for some scenes that I was looking forward to.

-May and June I was working on some big projects for my DnD groups, one of which I finished... the other of which I’m glad I didn’t. -August was... wildly difficult and put me in a bit of an art rut that I’m still not quite out of. Two of the games that I invested a lot of artistic effort into were dropped very suddenly and I had all these ideas and projects and energy that now had nowhere to go and some very in depth characters that I didn’t know what to do with... -rest of summer and fall I was just trying to figure out what to draw to make me happy again, my group started a new campaign in October which I enjoy deeply but I wanted to keep my projects out of area’s where they could become unusable due to the actions of other people. I was mostly working on art trades and commission work, keeping personal works to small sketches here and there. Late November I dropped out of two more games for personal reasons, it was rough.

-Things seem to be picking up in December, I started developing Kuro and his story, picked him up out of the super smash bros toy chest, dusted him off, and I’ll see where it takes me. It doesn’t have the same spark that my hyper punk and my runaway thief had, but at least there was some experimenting and I feel more confident in my special effects.

Hopefully this new year will bring in some new vigor and ideas back into my creative space. I sure as heck hope so. To a New Year and new creative exploration~

#art summary 2022 #art 2022 #art meme #small artits #vartist #small art account #small art blog #illustration #character design #sketches #colorful art #sketchy art #artists on tumblr #artist #art

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njuum · 2 years

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I never dreamed of being a professional artist, especially working for/at a studio or something, like a lot of artists seems to dream of. I don’t really enjoy doing commissions except for a very narrow spectrum of stuff, and I don't want to commercialise my personal work by selling merchandising like prints, shirts and whatnot.

Drawing is fun, but doing it for money only makes me not enjoy it. Charging more for commissions doesn't make me enjoy working on them any more, nor it makes me want to work on them them any more. On the contrary, it only gives me more anxiety. I’m only doing this because it’s pretty much my only option when it comes to work, and I have a bare minimum enjoyment doing it, everything else available for me now would be straight up miserable.

When it comes to patreon, I feel like I have to deliver something at least bi-weekly, or I don't deserve my money. I know that’s not true, but, realistically, I do need to deliver stuff more or less regularly or I won’t get new followers on any social media, patreon being the most relevant one because it generates income. And if I don’t get more followers on the other social media, such as, twitter and tumblr, it’s very unlikely I’ll get new followers on patreon. Since late 2019/early 2020, I’ve been only losing income on patreon. There’s always someone new who joins, but it’s often followed by someone who was in a higher tier leaving a short time later. There was a period when someone gave a rather generous pledge, but they changed it back later. And, the problem is that if I don’t produce content which is either extremely appealing or produce a flood of content, or if I don’t have the luck of somehow becoming famous overnight, I won’t get more people/people who donate more following me on patreon.

Then there is, at least for me, another issue with drawing for money, specifically that I don’t trust or believe doing commissions for furries is a stable “market”. Yes, furries have been growing in popularity lately, but, who knows how long that subculture will last? Who knows what unforeseen turns the world might take? That was the case with COVID, which made people lose jobs and income, and was probably a major cause of me losing so many followers on patreon. Similarly, USA’s law system recently overturned a decision that was over 30 years old. Some say they seek to overturn same-sex marriage as well. I can see such things affecting the income of furry artists, since a majority of furries are from the USA, and about half of furries are something LGBT+, so, increased LGBT+ discrimination in the USA could lead to LGBT+ furries losing their jobs, which in turn could lead furry artists to get less commissions, since now those people would have to worry first and foremost about their survival instead of buying furry art. But all of this is a post-hoc rationalisation for decisions I have already made.

I got a suggestion from someone saying that, since I don’t enjoy working on furry commissions, I should focus on things such as commissions for companies. To me that is a non-solution to my problem, just replacing one source of anxiety with another, actually worse one, since that sort of work would put me under a legally-binding contract, often with a time limit to finish my work, and very likely under a non-disclosure agreement, so I would only be able to show my work to, say, my partner who lives with me and my one closest friend.

But, to me, that seems more like a desperate attempt by the person who suggested it to me that I should continue drawing no matter what. When it comes to this problem, asking a friend to listen to me will often be unproductive, because so it happens that most of my friends like my art quite a lot, so they are emotionally attached to in in one way or another, and suddenly having the prospect of not having new art by me hurts their feelings somehow. I was actually quite surprised when both people I talked to about this seemed personally offended by me saying “I don’t like doing furry commissions and I don’t want to do it anymore”, they quickly jumped to the conclusion that I don’t want to draw at all anymore, when, in reality, I didn’t say that. They seem to assume that I want to throw everything out of the window and never touch a pencil or look at a sheet of paper again, when I didn’t say that at all. Both people took this to be a problem that needs solving, that Liz is slightly depressed due to the winter, so they just need to be convinced that things will be alright and on some magical day in the future they’ll get a living wage through their art, that it’s okay to not want to do commissions, that they can work with art in some other way instead. Both people only calmed down when I said I could keep doing commissions but more slowly, and also take a break during the winter.

(To me, that sort of emotionally-loaded reaction about others’ decisions in life feels extremely counterproductive, both to the person who took the decision and to their trust in that friendship. Being offended because a friend doesn’t fulfill one’s expectation of being a professional artist is about the same as a parent being angry at their kid because they didn’t win the football tournament, when the kid just wanted to play for fun, or even maybe for winning, but not winning professionally. Anyway, that’s not the main point of this, so let’s get back on track.)

The next non-solution comes from myself, from seeing artists who do this: exploiting my work commercially from every angle possible, such as by selling pins, prints, shirts, hats, and then it spirals down into absurdity with things such as pillowcases, bags, cups, key-chains, any sort of merchandise and useless trinket possible. I have two main problems with this:

First, I absolutely loathe consumerism and consumerist culture. I don’t buy such crap. I think producing such trinkets, which will be disposed of when the person changes their taste is a waste of our planet’s resources. Not only that, it doesn’t hold together if you try to see it from a larger scale, of people buying merchandise for every single thing they like, to support every single artist they follow and so on. I also think it is a rather stupid notion of capitalist societies that, to express your individuality, you must dress like this or that and have this same haircut as everyone else in your club has and so on. I think viznut/pwp’s demo “progress without progress” summarizes this very well. I don’t want to say what others should do and think, but I’m not going to take part in consumerism culture myself. I’d rather wear folk, no-brand and local-made clothes, even if I look tacky, than wear anything because of its brand. And if I do wear that, it’s more because it fits my personal taste and philosophy than due to it being in fashion.

Second, I can’t just take something I put my heart into, sometimes literal tears into, and slap a price tag onto it. That feels vile. I can’t understand how others do it, often seemingly with very little effort. I can’t just take those characters which are a piece of myself, draw them doing a cute face and order a company at the other side of the planet to mass-produce a bunch of disposable garbage with my drawing stamped on it. To me that is pretty much selling a part of myself, selling my soul. It hurts to even think of doing that. Being paid for unique commissions? Sure. Being paid in a donation-like system, such as patreon, for previews of sketches and so on? Sure. Letting others print out my work, for free, if it means something to them? Sure. Working on a collab art book that will be printed out? Sure. Mass-producing copies of my work as a fashionable thing just because uncle capitalism wants to? No, thanks, I’ll pass.

Well, with all of that out of the way, let’s talk about what I want to do. I've wanted to study linguistics since I was 18 or so; I wanted to learn more about Old English when I was 16, and I actually remember wanting to learn Latin when I was a kid. I love understand how language works, and I never get tired of coming back to those same topics over and over. Sometimes I learn a new little thing and I’m amazed by it, even if it’s just a little drop in the ocean of what language is. Heck, one of the main things I care about on my worldbuilding is language. My characters only have a culture and a world of themselves because I needed that to make their language feel more realistic.

I want to study linguistics even if it’s just out of curiosity, even if I get to the end of my course and go, “well, I liked being an artist more than being an academic”. Not to mean that it is mutually exclusive with being an artist, I don’t think it is, at least on a rational level (sometimes I’m afraid academic life would sap all of my free time, but rationally that doesn’t make much sense). Actually, I would die of sadness if I wasn’t allowed to draw, or if I couldn’t draw any more. But I want to work on my personal things because I love them, not because I’m desperate for money, because I need to survive. It’s pretty sad that the world works like that, although complaining about it is not going to change things right here and right now.

Also, unlike many people seem to want nowadays, I don’t want to make loads of money, get rich and then retire early and then spend my time leisurely. All I want to do is work with things I find interesting, until the day I die. If I can’t work with the things I like, I can’t get much enjoyment out of life and it wouldn’t be too different from not living. So, I don’t care at all about making any money from my art, I don’t care about “hitting big”, I don’t care that academic linguistics is not a “profitable” field either. I don’t even care about being popular or “successful”, whatever that word means. I just want to have fun working. If I could live at a place I like, near a lake and go for a swim every once in a while, my life would be perfect. (Maybe I would even enjoy working on commissions if it was more of a side thing, because I do enjoy seeing others being happy from having a personal version of my work. I only hate doing it so much because of the pressure of living up to a standard and needing to “deserve” that money which I was give for my work, because if I fail to do it, I’ll fail to survive.)

Anyway, there isn’t much I can do regarding any of those things right now. Despite having public education, my country has a very conservative/traditionalist approach towards it, which I find rather stupid. If I wanted to get into a public university or get a discount at a private university, I’d have to take either one of two, or both tests; one which is local to each university, and another one which is at a national level and lets you go into any university and get a discount at private ones, as long as you get a good grade. These tests are taken around October-November, over the course of two separate weekends, lasting about five hours each, and cover every singe subject one studies at middle and high-school. Taking both tests gives you a better chance, but you can only sign up for the national one between February and early May, and it is only valid for the next year, which means that if I wanted to go to university now, I’d have to wait for the next year to sign up for the test, only to enroll in university in February/2024. The other, per-university test is held for every semester on many universities, but it does not give you a discount at private universities.

My city doesn’t have a public university, so my only option would be to take the national-level test and get a good grade at it so I could get a discount, otherwise I would have to pay about 200USD every month. Living at any of the capitals on my area of the country is not an option because rent is expensive, living costs are expensive, campii for public universities are often at the outskirts of cities, thus increasing transportation expenses. The capital of my state has a high rate of violence as well, so it’s not a good place to live. I can’t really go live at my partner’s parents’ both because of personal reasons, as well as because they live at one of the worst places for LGBT+ people in this country.

Even without all of those problems, public university teachers here seem to have an ivory-tower-complex, and are often rude and extremely condescending to their students. An extreme example being, TW, a student who recently committed suicide after being bullied by a teacher over an assignment. A more trivial example was my partner having burn-out due to having classes with ridiculously pedantic professors who complained about even a minor deviation of standard terminology on their field. Aside from that, there is also the fact that university courses last around four to five years here, and there is no concept of “majors” and “minors” like in many European and North-American universities.

Okay, but let’s say I could go around all of those things, that the most of them are problems only because I’m so whinny. Could I go to university study linguistics, in, say, Icelandic, Old Norse, Old English or Germanic languages in general? No, because there is no such course here. There isn’t any kind of linguistics course on universities here, not even for our national language or any of the major languages spoken here and abroad. The closest thing is “Letters” which is more like a course on literature, often coming in the form of a licentiate course focused on teaching language, usually aimed at grade school.

So, there it is, I have no option, I live at no-opportunity land. Hence, I have to keep doing furry commissions whether I like it or not. I have to wait for the time when I have the chance to leave this place, so I can do more of the things I like doing with my life. I’ll be really happy when that happens.

#okay i guess i'll start tagging those with #njuum:journal #so they don't get lost amidst the art reblobs #one can see how i started writing this on twitter because the first few paragraphs are very convoluted #oh i forgot i had the tag #words

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