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he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle · 7 months

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Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people

I was tagged by @lurkingshan and boy howdy am I pleased Shan tagged me! I love my comfort watches, talking about my comfort watches, and even talking about what a comfort watch is. I struggle with anxiety, and it affects the way I watch TV. (When I watch a new drama with zero spoilers, for example, it's liable to set off my anxiety BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN AND IT STRESSES ME THE F OUT.) So for me, a comfort watch is anything I can watch on high-anxiety days that eases my pulse and lowers my blood pressure and restores my sense of balance. That does not necessarily mean it's all cozy fluff, though, as demonstrated by the very first show on my list! It just means I find the show familiar enough to be comforting, or the themes particularly heartwarming. And yes, it sometimes means it's no-drama fluff.

Hannibal -- Probably because I think this is only the single most perfect show ever produced and I practically have it memorized, I find this show to be wildly comforting instead of anxiety-inducing, despite its subject matter. Yes, it's a show about a cannibalistic serial killer and the FBI special agent who befriends him. But it's also one of the best (and only) examples of magical realism on our TVs and its really, really, really exquisitely crafted. From the cinematography to the acting to the script, there is not one single flaw in this perfectly executed drama.

One Spring Night -- The ironic thing here is that I don't think this is one of the best kdramas ever, nor is the subject matter all fluffy, but I have re-watched it more than any other kdrama ever. I find the main female lead to be a refreshingly honest woman who sets excellent boundaries and sticks to them while advocating for mutual respect. In this drama, a single dad meets a woman who is stuck in a mediocre long-term relationship. Their ensuing romance is quite sweet with almost no misunderstanding. They both have excellent communication skills and healthy relationship dynamics. The main male lead is very uncalculating and honest. All the characters feel authentic, and I particularly like the dynamic between the female lead, her sisters, and their mom. Sadly there are a few really toxic male side characters and a side plot of domestic violence. I always skip their scenes on every re-watch though.

Old Fashion Cupcake -- In this slice of life, age gap, gay romance, an employee nurses a long term crush on his older boss and finally begins seducing him with fancy pancakes. I adore this story about the middle aged lead's healing journey from severe repression. Of course it helps that the leads have A+ chemistry and the show has excellent production values. It's also not a huge time commitment, so it's perfect for rewatching.

Because This is My First Life -- In this slice of life romcom kdrama, a thirty-something woman who recently had the rug pulled out from under her by life enters into a contract marriage to secure a decent roof over her head. The male lead is respectful and endearing, the female friend group is downright fabulous, and the dialog is practically poetic. I also like how much self-respect the main female lead has (this seems to be a running favorite of mine).

Another Miss Oh -- This romcom kdrama holds a special place in my heart for having both the absolute best k-drama first kiss and also having a full cast of quirky side characters who aren't the least bit annoying. (Usually when comedies aim for quirky characters, I find at least one of them super annoying.) This drama has it all: excellent pacing, hilarious shenanigans, a small dose of pre-cognitive visions (without veering into a murder mystery plot!), warm-hearted reveals about characters, relatively high-heat for a kdrama, and a killer cast.

Semantic Error -- In this romcom BL, a sexy older boy discovers a serious younger boy (who is likely on the spectrum) has outed him as a slacker, starts out bullying him, and accidentally falls madly in love instead. Opposites attract, excellent production values and great visual storytelling with believable lead chemistry and sweet, A+ post-credit finale scene. Perfectly paced and relatively low time investment, so it's perfect for a lighthearted re-watch.

Business Proposal / Sh**ting Stars / 20th Century Boy and Girl / The Fabulous / Jugglers / Gogh The Starry Night / King The Land -- These are all interchangeable (to me!) "no-drama romcoms", meaning they resolve any potentially anxiety-inducing dramatic plot points within the length of an episode. They are lighthearted, laugh out loud funny, and filled to the brim with endearing characters, fantabulous friend groups, and familiar tropes. If you're looking for classic friends to lovers, pretend relationships, or workplace romances, these are your jam.

The Glory -- What. A. Masterpiece. In it, a 36 year old woman slowly takes revenge on her childhood bullies. It's soooo satisfying to watch and re-watch y'all (especially if you can make it past the first episode which graphically depicts the abuse she survived). Unlike many revenge dramas, no one gets a redemption arc and instead everyone gets exactly what they deserve (no more or less). There's a slight romance thread that is well-designed, incredible dialog, A+ acting, and excellent pacing and reveals. I comfort watch this when I want to see smart, well-executed justice married to brilliant storytelling.

A Piece of Your Mind -- My go-to healing journey drama about coping with loss. Sometimes you just need a good cry, and the first few episodes of this deliver! This is slice of life romance mixed with a smidge of futuristic AI and is a heartwarming exploration of various kinds of grief and loss, all while mixing in a sweet romance plot with lots of likeable characters.

Boise Boys/Outgrown -- Sometimes a comfort watch is turning off your brain while watching competent craftsman create order out of chaos. While most HGTV home shows feature a lot of soulless design, Luke Caldwell's design aesthetic is pretty much identical to my own (an eclectic blend of mid century modern with colorful accents and inviting textures in practical layouts). It is seriously comforting to see old, possibly abandoned houses be turned into stunning and livable homes. Downright peaceful on my truly high-anxiety days!

Honorable Mentions (because ONLY 10 IS A JOKE) go to Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Moonlight Chicken, Bad Buddy, Lost/Human Disqualification, Lovely Writer, History 2: Right or Wrong, History 3: Trapped, Be Loved in House I Do, and My Love Mix-up because I either re-watch them whole (or my favorite scenes from them) somewhat regularly when nothing else can quite scratch my comfort watch itch.

Tagging @piningbisexuals, @spicyvampire, @absolutebl, @syrinth, @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you, @thequeenofsastiel, @tiggymalvern and any one else who wants to play!

#asian gay dramas #tag game #kdrama #hannibal

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siyurikspakvariisis · 5 months

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Get to know me

I was tagged by @optiwashere !

Three ships: forever and always a Queensquad (Mara Sov/Petra Venj/Sjur Eido) truther. Yeah I know Sjur is still dead and hasn't canonically met Petra but hey death doesn't seem to stick in Destiny. Ikora/Eris, also from Destiny. And from BG3, Shadowheart/Nocturne — it just writes itself!!

First ever ship: oh lord so idk how much of a thing this was outside of Spain but Pepa and Silvia from Los Hombres de Paco? It was the first time I saw wlw in Spanish TV when I was like... 14? Not older than 15. It was a watershed moment for baby dyke me.

Then Silvia got murdered the day of her wedding with Pepa and... Yeah.

I think it's important to mention that gay marriage just got approved in Spain when that episode was aired.

Last song: Absolutely Absent by Selofan.

Last movie: Fuck, I don't remember the last time I sat down to watch a movie. Probably rewatching A Fistful of Dollars with my dad.

Currently reading: idk if it "counts" but I'm reading a manual for a wargame, A War Transformed. I'm also awaiting the release of Exordia by Seth Dickinson with bated breath.

Currently watching: The Fall of the House of Usher

Currently consuming: vegan pad thai on my lunch break

Currently craving: for an elegant solution to this recurring problem at work to manifest itself before me (and maybe another coffee)

I'm gonna tag @seventhscorpio @xivu-arath @growsgardengrows @mxsovereign and @linka-from-captain-planet if they wanna do it. Or don't.

#hala.txt

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an-aura-about-you · 7 months

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i just saw your tags please tell me more about red white and royal blue

OKAY SO

Red White & Royal Blue is a queer romance novel by Casey McQuiston. It is the story of Alex, the 21 year old son of the President of the United States, and his enemies to lovers bromance turned romance with Prince Henry, the grandson of the current Queen of England.

And that bit of it is honestly mostly fine to me! I like that Alex is kind of a dumb boy baby bi who didn't realize the gay shit he got up to with his best friend was, indeed, gay shit. I like the part when Henry's older sister Bea tells Alex about how their father died when Henry was relatively young and how that grief just shoots down to the bottom of your soul, deeper than you thought yourself capable of feeling, and now when terrible things happen you automatically plummet to that same emotional low. I like the stuff going on with Rafael and how he was willing to tank his reputation in order to take down his potential abuser.

But hooooooooly shit the alternate reality this book exists in is so distracting.

First thing I should cover is that Alex's presidential parent is his mother Ellen Claremont, the first woman president elected in 2016.

Yes.

Claremont's reelection campaign in 2020 is a prominent part of the book, and Alex's secret romance with Henry is exposed by her Republican opponent via Alex and Henry's private emails.

*clicks tongue* Yeah.

Also, a lot of this does end up going down in 2019 and 2020, with not even a hint of pandemic, which, fair, I'll accept that. But it does feel really weird in the face of this other stuff.

And across the pond, Henry has to deal with his family finding out he's gay, specifically him coming out to his older brother Phillip and their grandmother Queen Mary. All of this feels so very weird to type out. The Queen and Phillip do not take it well at all, and at one point Henry does indeed threaten to abdicate, at least privately to Alex.

Soooooooo.

And this one's admittedly nitpicky, but Harry Potter references? Really? We do not need those, do we? Especially when you're indicating that you have people you care about that are indeed trans? (I've pulled up the Wikipedia article and have been informed that these references are removed from a later edition. On top of that, the author is nonbinary, so I imagine this might have been done not just because of readers commenting on it but them regretting writing in those references in the first place.)

And you know what, I don't know how much I've listed there is the problematic shit. Frankly, I sometimes have blinders on for this. I did not get involved in any of that "It's Totally Normal To Practice Kissing With Your Friends" shit, so idk how much of that is made up by media and how much of that really happens under the veil of wanting to actually kiss those of the same perceived gender. And since a lot of the stuff I read in this genre tends to be fanfiction (because I personally prefer having my blorbos at the ready to play Barbies with), I have no idea if the sex scenes are typical for this type of book compared to the wild-ass shit I read on the regular.

There's also the issue of Alex's race, which I am in no way qualified to talk about in depth but does merit mention: Alex is the child of an interracial marriage. His mother is white and his father is Latino. He is referred to as Alex, Alexander, Alejandro, Claremont (his mother's surname), and Diaz (his father's surname). The narration makes it clear that he is not perceived as white passing, that he is obviously Latino. And I have no idea what that might stir up. I didn't notice anything that made any alarm bells ring for me, but I am very white.

Overall, I was glad I listened to it. It hit the nice little niche it was aiming for, and I think there should be more stuff like it. But maybe put it in a universe not quite so close to ours like that.

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plague-of-insomnia · 1 year

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hm idk how ur gonna feel abt an ask like this but i do want to get smth off my chest & u seem p safe. feel free to delete if u want

i saw a post recently talking abt how "gay" got used as a slur a lot more than people acknowledge. and it got me thinking of my school years & how often it got thrown around.

thing is. and heres where my train of thought goes off the rails. i actually experienced the word "incest" as an attack more than the word "gay"... which. ill explain. but it really got me thinking on this whole purity culture & demonising of incest depicted in literature & yknow taking things too far with whats considered incest.

bc at the end of the day. the reason incest is illegal (mostly) is to prevent inbreeding & the health issues that come along with that. if ur not blood related then theres no problem.

and like. the reason i got called incestuous and generally ostracised was bc i was close with a boy in my year. like we dated for a week as 14 yros do. and at some point i discovered that hey. his last name is the same as my aunts and lo and behold hes my 2nd cousin thru marriage or smth. so. not incest at all.

anyway that p much ruined our friendship (& it was a friendship. i broke things off before i even knew we were related bc i just didnt feel the same way and we stayed friends for a little bit) all bc some kids couldnt let it go that we had the vaguest relation to each other. he got bullied for the rest of our school year & ive felt horribly guilty for leaving him bc i wanted to be "cool" & ended up without any close friends like we were.

sorry if thats a weird thing to put in ur inbox.

Hey, anon. I don't mind this ask. I hope you don't mind me replying publicly. (In future if you don't just say so.)

This post will be a bit long, so I'll go ahead and put it under a readmore.

TW for discussions of "gay" used in a negative way, and discussions of the use of the word "incest," and its association with child sexual abuse, though there's really nothing terribly bad here as I'm not going into detail on any of thse topics. (If you need something tagged, though, let me know.)

Now, I'm old as dirt by tumblr standards, and I remember VIVIDLY the word "gay" being used in a negative light. As a kid, I didn't really see it used as a "slur" per se, but it was used to mean something was bad.

Like, if you saw a movie that sucked, you'd say "Man, that movie was so gay." It meant something like "lame."

So obviously, it wasn't a good thing, and when I got a bit older and was explained why using the word was bad, I stopped, and fortunately most other kids did too and it mostly faded from use (in that sense) at least as far as I noticed.

(I'm not saying gay hasn't been used as a more nasty slur/word ofc, this is just my personal experience with it.)

Granted, keep in mind when I was in high school, our LGBTQ+ club was just the "Gay/Straight Alliance." Back then, it was basically, you were gay/lesbian, or you were an ally. We never talked about trans people or nonbinary people or ace/aro people. Ofc every one of those identities/kinds of people existed, but as far as my world went, they didn't. Most of my circle of friends was queer in some way, but many were closeted or semi-closeted for various reasons.

Anyway, sorry for that detour. Now, as to your incest situation. I'm sorry that happened to you. It definitely wasn't fair. You didn't have any way to know if you were related, and if/when you did it was "easy" to end the relationship. But kids are kids, and they always love to find a way to single people out, and they probably didn't really care what the actual truth was.

Even if you'd discovered having a similar name was total coincidence, I'm sure they'd still have bullied you for "incest."

I wasn't bullied for it, thankfully, but I did have a classmate in high school with the same last name as mine. My name is very common in some places, but where I lived at that time it was not, so everyone assumed we were fraternal twins. He was a nice enough guy, but I really didn't want people to think we were siblings. But no matter how many times we both explained we weren't related, no one believed us.

Sometimes, once someone makes their mind up about something, there's no changing it.

As for "abandoning" your friend because you didn't want to be left out and regretting it, I get that too. There was a guy I dated when I was around 16, and we were very passionate, but I think honestly I entered a major depressive episode and lost all interest in everything, including him, and... anyway, I regret how things ended between us even today, many, many years later. I wish I could shake my 16-year-old self and tell them not to be so cruel, but we can't change the past, only learn from it and move forward.

With regards to antis/purity culture taking incest so far, I do agree it has gotten ridiculous. As you said, the reason incest is taboo is because of inbreeding, because if your (general you) DNA is too closely related, you increase the chance of having major/significant diseases due to a lack of genetic diversity. But antis tend not to understand the WHY's behind things (since they also believe pedophilia is bad bc it's disgusting, and not because it hurts children, who become real grown adults).

But I have seen some really wild takes called incest. Like a ship from one fandom where the male and female characters are friends. A lot of people consider it "problematic" apparently, because they have a "sibling-like" relationship. They did not grow up together, they aren't related, and yet that's "incest" according to antis.

I do want to mention another reason that incest can/is considered so bad, and it's because, despite what antis may think, most sexual abuse of children comes from someone close to them in their lives, often a family member or close friend. So for a lot of people, when they think of "incest," they closely associate it with sexual abuse of a child. It's possible that's why antis get so upset about it. I don't know. But that is another aspect to it. (Ofc for you, in your past situation, you were both around the same age, so that's not the case, but that association is there.)

But, in the end, in fiction, it doesn't matter, because there are not actual children who can be conceived or harmed, and so the whole purpose behind why incest isn't allowed in many places in modern times doesn't exist.

I hope you're doing OK now, anon. Don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people have done things when they were young teens they regret and wish they could "undo," but as long as you learned from that experience so you could become a better person than that 14-year-old version of you, I think you're doing OK.

Sending you some hugs. <3

#poi answers #not kuro #anon

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itsclydebitches · 1 year

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I posted 1,791 times in 2022

358 posts created (20%)

1,433 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thequietestlilbucket

@gorgeousgalatea

@combefaerie

@kateinator

@ninjathrowingstork

I tagged 1,603 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#our flag means death - 259 posts

#ofmd - 255 posts

#rwby - 220 posts

#mymetas - 203 posts

#rwde - 177 posts

#videos - 127 posts

#fic things - 62 posts

#comics - 60 posts

#ted lasso - 54 posts

#gaming - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#and that's not even getting into woman being more active in history (including wars!) than we tend to assume

My Top Posts in 2022:

In honor of the Netflix show coming out soon and my enthusiastic re-read, I’d like to gift tumblr with some of my favorite Dream panels from The Absolute Sandman Vol. 1.

We’ve got:

Local Personification Gets Bread Thrown At Him By Badass, Older Sister. More at 11:00.

“Mm hmm this is my listening face. Go on, tell me why I shouldn’t kill you.”

See the full post

811 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

Post-canon universe where Mary ends up becoming a tattoo artist.

It starts when Ed winds up visiting the Bonnet household. Maybe he went there after Stede’s “death” only to learn that the Gentleman Pirate is out looking for him. Maybe this is post-reunion and they’ve just popped by to check on the kids. Whatever the reason, Ed ends up hitting it off with Mary and is particularly enamored with her art studio because holy shit you did the lighthouse painting!

He needs a version of that on his body. Now.

And Mary is like, I’m sorry, Mr. Blackbeard sir, but the human body is a slightly different canvas from what I’m used to and I’ve never—

But Ed is already waving her off. You think pirates know what the fuck they’re doing either? Nah. You get a buddy sloshed on rum, promise him it’s gonna look great, tattoo something on his ass, and then keep out of reach when he first sees it in a shaving mirror. It looks like shit. Of course it does! But then you do it to someone else and it looks a little less shitty. Then again and again until hey, that’s some talent right there! So go to town. Can’t look any worse than what Izzy first put on his back.

By this point Ed has hopped up onto a table and pulled a kit seemingly out of nowhere. He’s also got his shirt off—this is fine—and Mary has to admit, some of his tats really are awful. Not all of them! But enough that she can precisely pick out where some drunk sailor was trying out a needle for the first time. And yeah, she could easily justify this through fear, telling herself that it’s not like she can say no to the intimidating, legendary Blackbeard. Dating Stede or not, the guy could slash her throat in an instant. Actually, dating Stede is a mark against any mental stability.

The reality though is that it isn’t fear that convinces her. Mary just looks at the spots of crappy ink and thinks, Fuck. I could do better than that.

So she does.

Mary might not know tattooing yet, but she’s got an eye for art and she picks up the mechanics quickly. At her request Alma brings in a bottle of something far nicer than rum—casting an interested look towards the pirate that reminds Mary, with a trickle of worry, that she always was her father’s daughter—and they spend a surprisingly pleasant afternoon with Mary experimenting and Ed commenting on her paintings. Is that flower a vagina, Mary? Yes it is, god, no one else gets that!

Mary tattoos a lighthouse onto Ed’s arm, entwining it with one of his tentacles. It’s nothing fancy, but Ed leaves the Bonnet household pleased as fucking punch.

Which means, of course, that a few months later Stede shows back up (in a terrible disguise) begging her to give him his own lighthouse on the opposite arm.

Stede Bonnet, are you really asking for the symbol of our now defunct marriage after you left me, came back, came out as gay, and then had the gall to fall in love with the most dangerous pirate on the seven seas?

…Yes?

Yeah, alright, fine. Get on the table.

Mary has been practicing since she last saw Ed, discovering that she loves the permanence of tattooing—putting her art on a moving canvas; a part of someone’s very identity, not just their home. Though it’s hardly considered good form in their community, she even managed to find a tutor after promising Doug that she wouldn’t fall in love with this one. Or if she does, she’s not going to throw him over for the new guy. You should really talk to Stede’s friend Lucius, Doug. He has fantastic ideas about the whole thing.

Stede tells Mary all about their lighthouse fuckery while she works and she finds that this story is a damn bit more romantic than their awkward wedding vows. In the end, this lighthouse is far more detailed than Ed’s, with steadier lines and a bit of shading, and Mary can’t help but think that it fits their personalities quite well. Stede is so happy he forgets himself and plants an exuberant kiss on Mary’s cheek. She just laughs.

From there other members of The Revenge show up when it’s safe for them to sneak into town, all of them wanting ink from a member of their Captain’s family. Their family, now. After she’s given Jim a pair of crossed knives and Oluwande a small orange tree on his back; Frenchie a recreation of his lute and the Swede the notes of his favorite song, word starts to spread to other crews. Wherever The Revenge goes they show off their ink. Even when they don’t, Mary’s developing a style that’s noticeable in any tavern or seedy alleyway—far nicer work than what anyone else has got.

The first time an unknown pirate shows up on their doorstep in the dead of night, Mary very nearly stabs him with one of the knives Jim gifted her. She whisper-yells at the poor bastard about manners and coming during business hours, really, what is wrong with you? After a sheepish apology, she brews an obscene amount of coffee and inks a child’s portrait onto the man’s arm. It’s by far the most challenging tat she’s done to date and somewhere around 4:00am, bleary-eyed and energized, Mary thinks that she’ll never want to do anything else again.

More pirates come after that. Doug worries. Mary reassures. As a compromise, she starts taking clients while her widow group meets. The presences of nine or so women who have nothing to lose—alongside Evelyn glaring from the corner—is more than enough to keep even the toughest ruffian in line.

Which isn’t to say that every client is a good experience. Oh no. Mary learns and more importantly, she listens, figuring out which pirates have beef with an ally of The Revenge, or who would sooner sell out their own than part with a single coin. On the truly worrisome visitors, the ones who do nothing to endear themselves during the long session or any of the repeat visits, Mary adds a small flower to their designs. Just her signature, she assures them, but everyone on The Revenge knows that it’s a message: don’t trust this one, watch your back.

Most though are surprisingly pleasant to spend time with. Sweethearts just dealing with a fair bit of trauma, as her ex-husband might say. When they thank her and try to press purses into her hand, Mary just shakes her head. It’s not like she needs the money. Instead, she draws out promises that they’ll do right by The Revenge and its co-captains, should they ever cross paths. When her family visits, Mary hears many tales about the crews that unexpectedly assisted during a tough raid, offered a good deal on supplies, bought them all drinks when they came into port.

Mary is the laughingstock of the town. She’s the woman whose husband ran out on her to become a criminal and then didn’t even have the decency to stay away, instead dying in a thoroughly tactless fashion. She’s the woman who gave up a lucrative painting career to instead take up a lowlife’s art form—if it could even be called such—with all manner of scoundrels calling on her. She’ll end badly, wait and see.

Mary is beloved by the pirate community. She’s the darling of Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate, more than capable of holding her own with both. She’s the woman whose ink you want etched into your skin—always safe to visit, always compassionate, and unspeakably talented. She’ll go far, wait and see.

Of course, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Mary teaches Louis how to draw and makes Alma promise that she’ll finish her education before following her father to sea; she takes Doug to bed each night and with his encouragement visits Evelyn many afternoons. She’s happy.

Shockingly, so is everyone else. Mary isn’t entirely sure what to make of the waspish man who shows up on her doorstep one afternoon, but he’s easily recognizable based on Stede and Ed’s descriptions. Israel Hands has just three tattoos: the ace of spades to mark his time in the Navy, the swallow for a well-traveled pirate, and a lopsided cross on his cheek that Mary almost asks about, before thinking better of it.

He wants a fourth tattoo. A lighthouse on the back of his neck.

It’s been a long time since Mary first started tattooing. It’s not that she forgot about her previous lighthouses, of course not, but any additional meaning doesn’t register as she works up a design to show Izzy. After all, he’s a sailor. A pirate. Most of them want something to connect them to the sea and there are only so many objects that do that.

The placement is a bit odd though. Mary warns him that he’ll have to keep his hair short for the tattoo to show, shaving the fine hairs regularly. Izzy just grunts and mutters for her to get to it. Mary doesn’t realize the significance of him allowing her to hold a razor to his neck, in his blind-spot no less. At this point, she’s considered an extension of the only two allowed to do the same.

This lighthouse is perfect. After years of work Mary is easily able to navigate the muscles in Izzy’s neck; the thin scar that—she shivers—is just a little too close to his jugular. Mary knows how to make her art catch the eye when Izzy stands tall and how to keep it from looking absurd whenever he twists his head. She doesn’t know this man well, but Mary senses that this piece should be meticulous and detailed, not a single line out of place. So she pours everything into the image, holding Izzy steady with a grip he doesn’t flinch from.

It's only months later, when the family comes back to visit, that Mary realizes what she’s helped accomplish. Izzy stands between his two captains and from the back she sees that all the lighthouses are balanced, like the top of a nautical star.

See the full post

880 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

Okay, so as the canon recedes from memory and fandom jokes take hold — la de da the world turns — I’ve seen an influx of takes that have steadily moved away from “Izzy’s tragic because this whole debacle is technically his fault (going after Stede’s hostages)” and “Izzy is sympathetic in part because he’s so bad at villain-ing” straight into serious claims of, “Wow, Izzy is just totally incompetent, huh?”

No, no, no, Izzy is terrifyingly competent.

We as a fandom need to remember our meta roots; one of the very first things ever acknowledged in the community: this is a character who has suddenly been thrust into a new genre.

For me, it’s basically the storytelling version of the “Who would win, Goku or Saitama?” question. The answer has nothing to do with power, skill, or competence and everything to do with what would be funny, because Saitama exists in a universe where, unless it’s more entertaining for him to lose, he automatically wins — always, forever, it’s the default state. That doesn’t make Goku, a guy with the power of the gods in his own universe, incompetent by any stretch of the imagination. It just means he’s suddenly been hog-tied by the rules of a new reality.

Izzy is the Goku to Stede’s Saitama.

Izzy scopes out Stede’s marooned crew (because he didn’t remember to have someone steer the boat), buys the hostages he lost, and homoerotically skillfully cuts up his shirt with hard-earned sword skills. Stede wins when Pete throws a rock.

Izzy corners Stede in the duel before he’s even realized they’ve started, hits him across the face, disarms him, and skewers him to the mast by successfully stabbing him. Stede wins because the handle of Izzy’s sword broke and there’s supposedly nothing important on the left side of the body.

Izzy is a complete asshole about chores because in his ‘real world’ a lack of munitions, or barnacles on the ship’s side, leads to death. Or at least lost raids (which they also need to afford basic supplies). Stede exists in the world where you can walk off stab wounds, find an oasis of oranges at your assassin’s church, and row straight to your lost crew without a need for anything like supplies, rest, or a map.

Pre-Stede Izzy successfully intimidates Fang, gets him to obey his commands ( “Fang!” *hiss*), and Fang admits that complaining about the abuse wouldn’t do any good. Post-Stede Fang, Lucius, Pete, Wee John, etc. can’t be intimidated because they know that here, such threats are meaningless.

Izzy manages to wrangle together Calico Jack, Spanish Jackie, and the British — three very different parties with beef against each other and him — all in an effort to get Stede executed. Stede survives because Ed pulls out a trump card that we learned about [checks notes] right now.

Stede beats Izzy again and again and again because Stede is working under the rules of the Romantic Comedy. Is it funny if Stede were to win a duel through absurd means? Yes? Then that’s what happens. Would Izzy winning here interfere with the romance between Ed and Stede? Yes? Then that can’t happen. It’s as simple as that. Unless we circle away from the stages of Epiphany (Stede’s talk with Mary) and Resolution (heading back to Ed for the presumed reunion) and Izzy becomes a more serious Obstacle to their love, everything he attempts is doomed from the get-go. Even if he were to be written as a more serious threat to the romance, the comedy inevitably obliterates any real chance he’d have. Unless OFMD doesn’t just pull lightly from other genres as it has in season one, but takes a hard turn into something new... Izzy is fighting a losing battle. He’s Goku powering up to fucking super saiyan and then being understandably confused when Stede manages to trip over his own feet, starting a Loony Toon-esque domino fall that somehow ends with Izzy K.O.’ed. How did this happen? Fuck if he knows. The logic he’s worked under all his life says it’s impossible and yet... here he lies.

Honestly, I ramble because competence is SUCH an important part of Izzy’s character. Competence is what’s allowed him to survive into his 50′s (unless he’s really 16 lol), help build the Blackbeard legend, and gain the kind of respect that has the crew (initially) jumping at his command. Izzy knows that he’s competent. His entire, prickly personality is built on being competent, particularly when competence is used as a defense mechanism. (No need to grapple with feelings when he can just kill someone.) More importantly, he knows that, under ordinary circumstances, not being competent gets you killed. He’s watching Ed trade in protective leather for lace shirts, fill up on marmalade, turn sword training into a flirting session, admire model ships instead of formulating plans — all these things that should, according to the rules Izzy has spent his entire life living by, get them all killed. We know Stede wouldn’t survive a day in the world of “real” pirates, where Izzy originally hails from. Izzy knows it too. We know Stede survives anyway because this is a rom-com and he’s the lead. But Izzy doesn’t know what genre he’s in; certainly not that the genre has changed — and fuck, if the rules of the universe changed once before, who’s to say they won’t suddenly change again? What if he wakes up one day on a frilly ship, with a useless crew, a domesticated Blackbeard, and the world is a horrifying mess of cruelty and violence again? They’d be screwed. He’s running around bitching about plans, munitions, ship speed, killing pets, formal duels, and yes, avoiding “namby-pamby” soft things because dammit of course those things matter. They always have. Yes everyone needs specific duties because otherwise the ship falls apart and they all die. What do you mean the ship isn’t falling apart while everyone eats marmalade and has gay sex? That’s not possible.

Imagine you were a crazy competent member of society according to current social norms. Maybe you’re highly educated, have a six-figure job, are meeting all the expectations for a family, you’re considered conventionally attractive, you eat well, go to the gym every day, have impressive hobbies, give to charity on the regular, maintain a thriving friend group — in every way that your peers might judge your worth within this specific social circle, you are killing it. Then you wake up one random morning and, as Badminton puts it, you’ve entered Backwards Land. People suddenly laugh at your well-balanced lunch because pff, what do you mean you’re not just eating a bucket of candy like the rest of us? Certain public displays that would have been unthinkable 24 hours ago are suddenly occurring on every street corner. You walk in to a promotion meeting with a detailed report on why your work of the last 30 years is worth recognition. The new hire suggests they have a face-paint party instead of running the company and your boss is like, “Well damn if that isn’t the best suggestion anyone’s ever given me. You’re promoted!”

What?

Izzy is fascinating in part because he’s a HYPER-COMPETENT individual who took to his toxic, violent, homophobic, highly repressed society like a duck to water, only to find one day that the rules of the universe had changed (for the better) but whoops, nothing he’s good at suddenly has a foothold anymore. You’re an expert at running a ship? Ships are just a backdrop to romance and it doesn’t matter if there’s, you know, ammunition, or whatever. Supplies — like oranges — only matter if they’re forwarding relationships. You’re an expert swordsman? Yeah, good luck winning a rigged fight where literally anything goes provided it’s funny enough (and you, as a tightly-strung rule follower, are not funny). Your entire identity is built around intimidating and executing people? The queer polycule thinks your threats are hilarious and if you strand people on a desert island their lighthouse captain will just row to them in a single scene; the guy tossed overboard will just climb into the walls and sustain himself on paper or something. You’re Alice in Wonderland except you don’t remember falling down the hole. The fact that Lucius’ cut off finger is used for a moment of (wonderfully gross) humor and he’s totally fine when he wakes up, whereas Izzy’s severed toe is more straightforwardly horrific and requires a cane, just highlight that they’re living in different genres. For Lucius, a severed finger is a moment of comedy (Dutch fuckery) and romance (Pete whittling him a replacement). For Izzy, a severed toe is a moment of devotion to a toxic relationship (eating it on Blackbeard’s command) and a #SeriousInjury that he literally can’t walk off. Izzy’s got the worst of both worlds at the moment: governed by his original, gritty genre and unable to circumvent or reap the rewards of the rom-com.

Which only leaves the question of whether Izzy will remain the tragic figure — but still very humorous for the viewer — who is either killed or permanently exiled due to his inability to adapt? Or will he grudgingly (oh so grudgingly) turn himself over to this new set of rules? I’m personally hoping for the latter BUT with moments here and there where the gritty drama bleeds into the rom-com; moments where things suddenly do become legitimately perilous and Izzy’s honed skills once again become necessary for survival. Like Ed who moves from the poetry-loving Edward into the murderous Kraken, Izzy has the potential to move between and/or straddle genres in some pretty entertaining ways.

930 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

Season 2 concept where Stede gets up to some pirate shenanigans while trying to hunt down The Revenge, resulting in a number of WANTED posters for The Gentleman Pirate. Ed is losing his mind over the sketch of a disheveled, bearded Stede. Izzy is furiously trying to tear it out of his hands (he’s too short). Frenchie is openly sobbing that his captain is alright and apparently doing impressive pirate-y things, good for him. Meanwhile, Jim:

“That fucker is worth 700 doubloons?!? I was only 50! Oh, we’re finding him alright and I’ll show him exactly how someone earns a fucking price on their head — !”

933 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

How fucking funny would it be if post-reunion, after everyone has settled down on The Revenge and accepted their weird found family, Izzy still pulled out the “I’m resigning, Ed!” speech every few months, like a kid marching down the end of their driveway to “run away forever, I’m definitely leaving this time, Dad!” Because he’s a supremely repressed gremlin of a man who doesn’t know how to receive validation unless he’s made a dramatic production of it via this intricate ritual. So everyone just accepts that on occasion Izzy will throw a hissy fit, passive aggressively pack up the dinghy, and Ed’s gotta go down there all, “Nooo, mate, we totally need you, don’t leave, what the fuck am I gonna do without my fearsome First Mate?🙄” Really laying it on thick so Izzy can soak up enough Toxically Approved Praise to survive another couple of weeks. Meanwhile, the crew is just watching this sad production, exchanging knowing glances. They’ve TRIED to be nice to Izzy—the whole mutiny thing was so last year, dude!—but outside of The Ritual he will straight up bite off anyone’s head who so much as tries to smile at him.

“Oh, you think I’ve got a flight or bite response? Mr. Hands earned his last name for a reason, laddie,” Buttons says while staring pointedly at Lucius’ finger. That’s obviously bullshit, but Buttons likes fucking with them on occasion. It’s great fun.

Stede’s place in The Ritual varies depending on everyone’s mood. Usually, he treats it like another fuckery production, making a big ta-do about how if Izzy really insists on leaving them—and wouldn't that be terrible? Simply terrible... right, everyone?—then he must take plenty of supplies with him and a bottle of the good brandy and this warm coat because it can get quite chilly at night, don’t you know? This allows Izzy to fly into a very cathartic rage about real pirates vs. gentry twats, leading to him oh so magnanimously deciding to stick around, if only to continue saving Ed from this dithering fool. Sometimes though Izzy has legit pissed Stede off, just like in the old days, and the crew has to run damage control to keep another duel from starting, Izzy having entirely forgotten his desire to leave under the allure of skewering Stede. That too is cathartic, but Ed tends to get tetchy when Stede stabs or is stabbed by anyone other than him.

Every once in a while Izzy will dig his heels in and actually launch the dinghy, heading towards… nothing, because we’re nowhere near land, you idiot, are we really doing this today? So the crew has got to drop everything else they’ve got going on and just… follow him. Izzy spends a couple hours angrily trying to out-row a top of the line ship while the others watch from the deck, occasionally yelling out corrections to his form: “Keep your shoulders steady—you’ll get farther away if you improve your posture.” “I know that!” They let him wear himself out and then tow him in for dinner.

One time Lucius and Pete are ~distracted~ while on the night watch and Izzy is actually able to slip away unnoticed. He's so pissed about it that he leaves in a true huff, that anger taking him all the way to the Republic. Two days later Buttons gets a seagull from Spanish Jackie basically saying that their wayward First Mate is stinking up her bar, you’d better pick him up before I kill a bitch. Ed and Stede arrive like fussy dads whose darling sent the playdate into turmoil; come along, Israel, that’s enough fun for one weekend.

Sometimes Jim is already hiding in the dinghy when Izzy tries to “escape” and the two of them spend a day talking shit, The Revenge floating nearby. Sometimes other pirates will find Izzy in random places and sternly steer him back towards the ship: “Do your parents Captains know you’re out here?” Once Izzy made the mistake of loading his get-away bag with half the strawberries put aside for a new cake and Roach very nearly took a limb in vengeance. Frenchie has a couple tunes that he only plays during The Ritual, to set the mood and all. Lucius has immortalized a number of the attempts in sketch form and slips them underneath Izzy’s door when he’s sure he’s not there to retaliate.

Years later, when all the crew have a lot more gray in their hair, Izzy flips them off and starts packing his things, same old, same old. Ed sidles up to Pete on the quarterdeck, sighing down at the display.

“Can you believe he’s still doing this?” he asks, shaking his head. “I thought he got it out of his system back on the Queen Anne.”

“Remember that time the rope broke and he lost us that dinghy?”

“Ha! I was ready to flog the bastard.”

And that’s how the crew learns that yes, Black Pete really did serve under Blackbeard holy shit.

1,206 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I'm seeing other folks do this #and I didn't want to be left out lol

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lucreziaq2001 · 1 month

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•TV show: "Father Brown".

•Content warnings: Mentions of two men loving their wives more in a close friends-like way and mostly staying married to them for the two women and their children's sake, the two men being bisexual and having an affair their wives know about and accept, but the rest of the world has no idea about, child loss through accidental drowning and stillbirth, parents and an older sibling mourning because of the loss of those two kids and the two couples featured in this One Shot having grown apart through their grief.

•Both Monty and Sullivan are bisexual, not gay here. They genuinely loved their wives for a few years during their marriages, but now they don't anymore.

•William and Evelyn are OCs, obviously. I made them up.

•This is an AU in which Sullivan and Mrs Devine were already married in 1952, they had been married for over 20 years, and the boy who is just her son in the show is his too in this story. I picked his age and made him be named after his father. I know many of you don't like Mrs Devine, but please, try not to say that in the comments.

•I know Sullivan was fairly young to have a 22-year-old son in 1952, but to me, he was already like 40, which would have made him 18 when Eddie was born, which makes it more acceptable if you ask me.

•Tags: @moonextinguisher, @bisidneycarter (one post they made made me get the idea for this fanfiction, so I thank them for that), @greenelectricsky, @cesarescabinet, @sharkmcchef515, @apollosstar8.

Maybe in another life

"Why don't you just leave her?" Inspector Edgar Sullivan couldn't stop himself from asking his lover, Lord Montague, whom like most people, he just called "Monty", in the evening of October 13, 1952, after they had had sex.

They had been having an affair, a secret to the rest of the world, but known by their wives, for almost six months by that time, and they both knew their feelings for each other were starting to become something more than just lust.

They usually they didn't have conversations, or at least not ones like that, when they met to make love, but that day, he just hadn't been able to prevent himself from asking that question.

"What?" Monty asked, visibly confused.

"Your wife" Edgar clarified, turning around to look at his lover "If you are so unhappy with her that you need to have these meetings with me, just divorce her".

"I can't" was all Monty said.

"Why?" the younger man questioned.

He definitely wasn't expecting to receive that kind of response.

"While it's not a romantic thing anymore, I still love Felicia" Monty told him "We have basically been friends our whole lives".

"So what?" Edgar replied, shrugging his shoulders "There are a couple of people I've been friends with my entire life too. That doesn't mean I would want to be married to them. You two would still be as rich as you are now and you don't even have children. What's stopping you from leaving her?".

When Monty heard his lover say that, his facial expression changed from a calm one to a frown and he put his face in his hands, sighing and shaking his head.

"We do. We do have a child" he said a few seconds later, letting out one more sad sigh afterwards.

"This is our son, William" he then told Edgar, taking a small photo out of his pants' right pocket and showing it to the younger man.

It was a picture of a blond little boy around 2 years old, who was smiling as a dark-haired teenage girl pushed him on a swing.

"Why doesn't he live with you?" Edgar asked after looking at the photo for a few seconds "He is still so young".

"That's because he is not alive" Monty explained, tears filling his eyes "He drowned in our garden's pond on November 4, 1945, when he was almost 2".

"Oh, yes!" the younger man suddenly remembered "I think I've heard of him. I'm very sorry for your loss, but I'm also amazed. You and Felicia talk about him so freely".

"Of course" Monty responded "Why wouldn't we? He is our son".

To him and Felicia, it was just natural to talk about the little boy they loved so much and had lost, and he couldn't really fathom things being different for other couples in their situation.

"I wish Isabel and I could do the same thing in regards to Evelyn" Edgar sighed sadly "She would have been 18 now. My beautiful little girl".

He hadn't been planning to talk about the only thing that could make him cry, but since that topic had come up, he wasn't going to waste that chance.

Just like he had heard about William, Monty had heard of Evelyn, but just once.

He knew she was Edgar and his wife's second and youngest child, who had died in her mother's womb in 1934, thirty-three weeks into Isabel's until then perfect pregnancy.

Her parents and her older brother Eddie, who was 4 years old when she had passed away, were obviously still mourning her, but unlike him and Felicia, Edgar and Isabel had never really been able to talk to each other about what had happened to their baby girl.

"I know, I wish things were different for the two of you" Monty responded "I think you are the one who should divorce your wife, though, given your situation".

"I can't leave Isabel either" his lover told him, shaking his head "She seems so strong, probably braver than me, but I know she couldn't cope with losing me too. And Eddie couldn't either".

Hearing those last four words, Monty couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed.

He knew that his lover's son, 22-year-old Edgar Jr, whom everyone called "Eddie", still lived with his parents and deeply wanted them to stay married, which he could understand, but at the same time, he didn't believe that was the right choice for Isabel and Edgar.

"I know what you think about this, but I can't do this to my family now. Maybe one day" Edgar said, hoping his words were true, but not really believed they were.

"Maybe" Monty repeated, although he wasn't convinced that that was the truth at all.

Yes, maybe.

Maybe in another life, if they had been born at a different time in History, he and his lover would have been able to be together freely, with nothing keeping them from proudly showing their relationship to the world.

In that life, however, they knew they had to think about their families and put them first, so those brief meetings could still be all they had with each other.

It wasn't going to be easy, but it was definitely for the best.

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notanotherockstar · 1 year

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How is Rhaenyra ANYTHING like JK Rowling? Rhaenyra supported and ENCOURAGED her gay husband’s love affairs (plainly stated in the book Fire & Blood, and the show) while Alicent endorses and encourages the Faith of the Seven (the most misogynistic religion that perpetuates the Madonna/Whore complex, condemns sex workers and, much like Catholicism, shames homosexuality as a sin). Alicent knowingly dismisses and denies Aegon’s sexual violence to working women and children, and doesn’t give a fuck about the bastard children he’s sired -children who are clearly suffering (Alicent’s actions are exactly like those that privileged misogynistic women in power do in real life). Read the book and learn that Alicent is no saint- her family is the second wealthiest in the entire seven kingdoms, they are known for their worship of money. And she slides her way into King Viserys’ personal life cunningly and willingly- both in the book & less brazenly in the show. Then proceeds to use her status as queen to slut shame and tarnish Rhaenyra’s “purity” as a woman (a fake concept of purity that has been a facade and excuse for violence against women who exercise their right to govern their own bodies). Rhaenyra fights and dies for her own right to be the ruler regardless of the misogynist claims that Aegon is more deserving (these claims founded and stated CLEARLY on the basis of his gender- PLAINLY STATED IN THE BOOK, and in the show it is said many times by men in power). So say whatever you want about Rhaenyra, but to claim she’s anything like JK Rowling, while Alicent (who would adhere more to Rowling’s ideology) is plastered all over your blog- that’s just pure CRINGE hypocrisy. If you think Alicent would ever stand as a LGBTQ+ ally, you’re more stupid than you are pathetic.

Anon, I’m clearly talking about (and have even tagged) white feminism but since you want to talk about LGBTQ+ issues to call Rhaenyra an ally when the book states that she and Daemon probably had him k*lled to be together is such a joke. Also, Rhaenyra was always intending to have an open marriage so she would have encouraged Laenor to have affairs wether or not he was gay......

Secondly, the only reason Rhaenyra doesn’t follow the faith of the seven is because all the Targs think they are gods not because they don’t endorse the teachings of the religion

Thirdly, Alicent straight up disowns Aegon (you are no son of mine) after the incident with Dyana (I still hate how she handled situation which was basically her being paid hush money and dismissed after being assaulted) and there is no proof that Alicent knows what Aegon does in his own time apart from getting drunk

Fourthly, Alicent must have been what fourteen? fifteen? when she was pimped out to Viserys by Otto so to claim that she, a child, somehow seduced him is....problematic at best and victim shaming (like it or not she is a victim of statutory and marital r*pe) at worst

Fifthly, Alicent is the only person to stick up for and defend Rhaenyra after her little late night rendezvous with Daemon so and only changes her side when she discovers that she has been lied to and made a fool out of.

Sixth, while Rhaenyra does indeed die fighting for her claim to the throne but to say that she and her actions are in any way feminist is grossly incorrect as she upholds and enforces the patriarchy whenever it suits her best. The perfect example is the claim over Driftmark, where, rather than advocating for Baela to be heir (which makes more sense than any of her children being heir because she is the legitimate child of D*emon and Laena, who is the older of the Velaryon siblings) she pushes Luke as heir and has Baela marry him so that he has no one to challenge his claim to the throne. She tried to do the same thing with Helaena and her first kid (whatever the fuck his name was) but Alicent was smart enough to recognise that Helaena’s marriage to Rhaenyra’s first kid would surely result in her death as no one would accept as bastard as king and a coup to usurp him would be devised.

Rhaenyra is like JKR in the way that they’re both white women who actively use their status and position to harm other people, especially other women.

I know Alicent isn’t a good person and I definitely don’t agree with everything that she has done throughout the course of the series, but I accept her for a morally grey and flawed character, something people just can’t seem to do for Rhaenyra

Hope this satisfied your anger and annoyance anon <3

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raionmimi · 3 years

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Today’s history lesson on Twitter is that Five Night’s at Freddy’s is older than gay marriage in the US!

#raion roars #Tag things that are older than gay marriage #I just like trivia so I wanna know random things #Megamind is older than gay marriage in the US #Miku Hatsune is older than gay marriage in the US #Fate ubw is older than gay marriage in the US #Frozen is older than gay marriage in the US #cant wait for pride this year because someone will for sure make a sign about this

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mickules · 3 years

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ASK DUMP

But first:

OOPS [for context]

My hand slipped.

Yous all ready for a MAMMOTH ask post? I mean it this is LONG

[edit: completely forgot to add the ‘read more’ rip your dash this is L O N G]

(next set of asks are [here]! in smaller bites this time)

Honestly I’m kinda boring when it comes to headcanons, they’re mostly canon compliant or I end up floating about on the general consensus of popular fanon. Here, however, is a bunch of little titbits!

~Hifumi draws like Boichi. The idea he has a super detail oriented style and not a cutesy one cracks me up.

~The difference between Taeko and Celeste; those colour contacts are prescription. (Taeko doesn’t look too dissimilar to Toko and she hates that)

~Likewise, Gundham takes forever to get ready as he re-applies the “wards necessary to allow mere mortals to withstand the presence of The Supreme Overlord of Ice”

~Kazuichi on the other hand is au naturale. He just looks like that.

~Hiro is right, where do you think his clairvoyant abilities came from?

~Taka has had to shave every morning since he was 13, (he looks like Masaaki Sakai from Monkey if he grows it out) Mondo will never be able to grow any facial hair, and he’s salty about it. His hair is naturally curly but he straightens the back for that Pomp Aesthetic

~Taka is a very restless sleeper, never wakes up in the same position as he went to sleep. At Hope’s Peak he usually finds himself waking up across the room, on the floor.

~Additionally, He eats like a gannet - maximum efficiency (until he gets indigestion) [more on this]

~Red eyes and a diabolical resting bitch face is the dominant trait of the Ishimaru Bloodline. (POV trying to have a casual conversation)

~Takaaki is a divorcee not a widower; his marriage was an arranged one organised by Toranosuke, and when the scandal went down the marriage was dissolved by the bride’s family. [more on this]

She was 5′3′’

Takaaki just wants someone tall enough so he can take a nice photo (I had to google ‘no homo with socks’, I hope you’re happy)

---

30% of Takaaki’s intimidation is his height, the rest is his Glare™

Ah! I can understand the confusion! That was actually an older Mondo, as the anon had asked about Kaito being Mondo and Taka’s kid. I’m easy going when it comes to pairing characters together, I don’t mind answering questions along that vein! I love to see other people’s interpretations, and how they imagine a relationship develops. I’ve seen some absolutely adorable art of them as a couple! Personally however, I don’t have a good idea of their chemistry in my head, so I don’t think of them as being together. At the very least not in this weird AU thing I’ve got going on.

---

Bold of you to assume Takemichi hasn’t been keeping it a secret. Not out of fear or shame, but rather because Michi would do anything to keep nosy, overbearing, meddling Daiya out of his love-life. He’s seen how Daiya absolutely ROASTS Mondo every-time he strikes out, and Michi ain’t about to open himself up to that. I imagine Daiya finds out whilst frequenting a gay bar- like that Doctor/Donna Doctor Who scene:

He is then resolutely recruited as a Gay Consultant™

They become very popular regulars. (tags got me creasing)

@hawklanthebard

You’re not wrong - that’s a fabulous concept, but they’re gonna have to catch him first. Surviving middle school gave Taka an unusually highly developed intuition for trouble and an excellent default flight or fight response

Mondo having to deal with his gang associations negatively effecting his ‘civilian’ life and friends? *Chef’s Kiss*

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Taka with his wooden sword would be a sight to behold. Unfortunately, I doubt brandishing a sword would be welcome in a school environment - so he’d unlikely use it for anything other than exercise. ISHIDA ON THE OTHERHAND

Hifumi might have had a bit more trouble

@emiefaunwrites

(Thank you so much! That’s so very sweet! I’m glad you like! :D) SO I didn’t originally have a timeline when I started making the comics, but NOW I do, so it’s a bit of a mess lol! BASICALLY: ~Daiya survived the bike crash ~Mondo & Taka go to Hope’s Peak ~They become friends (I have a comic planned for this, and it’s NOT a sauna scene *wiggles eyebrows*) ~[The Yakuza Incident] this is when Mondo catches feelings, but chalks it up to the adrenaline of the situation ~[Mondo meets Takaaki] and [makes a great impression] ~Daiya is introduced to Taka, and gives him “The Shirt” unbeknownst to Mondo ~Taka has his own Gay Panic™ (this is another comic comin’ in the pipeline!) but he doesn’t recognise it for what it is. ~[Takaaki finds The Shirt, and him and Daiya make their plan] ~[The Hershey’s Kiss Incident] Mondo has to ask himself some PRETTY SEARCHING questions after this, whilst Taka has to wrestle with the revelation that if Mondo asked for a kiss, Taka would not hesitate to do it. ~ and Finally, eventually, a Confession (this is another comic, but it’ll deffo be a while before this one is done)

---

@crackinwise

Takemichi sees the Oowada brothers as a single unit - he is 'second’ to both of them. So, whilst Mondo is at Hope’s Peak, Takemichi defaults to keeping an eye on Daiya to give Mondo some piece of mind, since Daiya still a target for rival gangs. Takemichi’s title of ‘second’ is just a formality of the gang. Daiya doesn’t really go in for the hierarchy stuff, but it’s the gang that insists on it and Mondo unfortunately really internalised it. From the gang’s perspective, you have the suave leader, his sharp, loyal 2nd in command and his volatile brother he has to reign in, when in reality Daiya delegated a lot of his responsibilities to Mondo and Michi over time, and was more a figurehead than an actual leader by his retirement.

(I’ve got some more Leon in a future comic - have a peek, he’s got such a cheeky face) [this comic is now done!]

Mondo’s unsuccessful romantic attempts are the favourite gossip topic of a surprising amount of class 78 tho’ not within earshot of Mondo obviously - They’re secretly cheering him on but they also have a betting pool based on how quickly he’ll scare the girl away. Celeste has made a very tidy profit.

---

Taka is 100% the type who’d inform the mcdonald’s cashier that they gave him too many nuggets and try to pay the extra. He’s IMPOSSIBLE to do a favour for.

[persona ref here]

@chinchillasinunison

I agree, Mondo in specs is A+, but yes, ‘tis a persona reference. I FULLY recommend Persona 4 if you get the chance! It’s a JRPG, but the ‘dungeons’ are people’s psyches, and when they’re inside they have to confront a ‘shadow’ which is basically some aspect of themselves they’ve repressed or heavily dislike. The stress of being in the dungeons causes people to get dizzy and confused, and the glasses stop that- it suggests Mondo has already confronted his own shadow, before Taka had to confront his. . .

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That’s some excellent analysis right there! Taka 100% has some deep seated issues to do with his relationship with control. I think his new friendship with someone so far outside his understood norm of ‘acceptable’ would have rattled some of those insecurities loose. There would be an inherent need for Taka to try to ‘improve’ Mondo’s behaviour - to try to make Mondo more “acceptable to society”, the way Taka was taught to be. But by doing so, he would be removing something that makes Mondo who he is. It would come down to an internal fight of being a hypocrite for overlooking Mondo’s anti-social behaviour, or trying to control Mondo and making him into something he’s not. Taka would hate himself for not being able to accept Mondo wholesale, the way he wishes people would accept himself, and the way he knows friends SHOULD do - basically a microcosm of the wider span of his anxiety with his chosen path and future.

(ahhhh! !Thank-you! That’s supremely kind! I’m still really enjoying the Dangan stuff, and if I move on to other things and folk don’t vibe with it - It’s all good! No worries! My only goal on this tumble is to enjoy myself, and so far that ain’t changed :D)

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NOICE! Excellent recommendations I’m lovin’ them! Always happy to get more! 👀

Also, from that DR chatfic:

“TAIL ‘EM NAEGGI”

I have been outdone.

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(AH! You flatter me! I’ll keep on tryna be cool!) [pic is here!] Daiya and Takaaki being casual allies is definitely a dynamic I really enjoy; Crazy Crafters is such an enjoyable fic! All the little interactions and character chemistry works so well together! Chasml’s fics are ones that I keep coming back to - I ADORE Their characterisations.

@rc-hetalia-mun

Dang you right, Honestly I needed a kid and his mum for the Crazy Crafters [pic] and Hiro has such a fun design; it was inevitable.

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(AH! Thanks!! What a compliment!! :-0 !! ) Normally, someone as jacked as Mondo would have a craggier face, not unlike Sakura’s sharp nose and defined cheekbones - but he’s got surprisingly soft features, I think those big eyes and long tapered eyelashes really add to it.

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(!!!!!THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!) Taka doesn’t even smile that much in his in game sprites but I CANNOT HELP IT! He has such a wide, welcoming smile and I LOVE DRAWING IT!!

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(Thank you! I loved doin’ it!) All credit 100% goes to @monikamarkovova They have the most SUPREMELY FLUFFY MOTHMEN art and I am in AWE, I cannot compare. I do not know how they do it. [here for ref]

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(ahh! <3 thanks very much!) Here’s a bit of a behind the scenes! I do all my sketches in colour ‘cos I find it easier on my eyes. I have trouble telling the difference between colours of a close tone, so it’s easier to see when distinguishing between the sketch and the black lines when I’m doing lineart. Red just happens to be my go to since it’s quickest to get to on the colour slider and I’m lazy. The sketches you see are pretty much 1 to 1 what I use for lineart, minus the half tones. If I have multiple sketch layers, I’ll use multiple colours so I can see easier, but usually I do all my sketches directly on my guideline layer because I’m a madman. Here’s a coupla examples:

here’s a rare one where I didn’t draw directly onto my messy af guidelines- but I always start with red, then blue, then green and very occasionally purple if I need a fourth.

I keep the mini-comic sketches in red since I think it looks better. Black is harsh and can be unforgiving and I think it makes it easier to see how rough my sketches are. In colour it’s a little softer - and to me - more pleasing to the eye! (and even when I do use black- it’s usually at partial opacity to soften it out)

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AND cos I’ve been watching too much Natsume Yuujincho (FULLY RECOMMEND it’s delightful) Have a quick redraw:

As my brother described it “Kiyotaka and his Fat Biker Cat”

And that’s it for now! The ask box is nice and empty, thanks for so many brilliant asks and sorry it took so long! I’m working on ‘Taka and Mondo becoming friends’ comic and ‘Taka gets a clue’ (edit: this one is [done]) comic, and I hope neither will take too long! :)

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tired-fandom-ndn · 3 years

Note

I got your post about lolita fashion and fujoshis reccomend to me through the tags and would you mind explaining to me how the fujoshi community accomplished any of those things? I don't mean this in a negative way, I feel like I may have the wrong idea on what fujoshis are.

Putting this in a list for my own ease.

The term fujoshi translates to "rotten woman/women" (Japanese words are both plural and singular, so fujoshi is already pluralized!). The specific kanji are 腐女子, which is important because people interpret "rotten" to mean "bad" or "disgusting", when 腐 actually refers to literal decay, fermentation, spoilage, etc. It's a play on the term 婦女子, pronounced and written the same way, which translates to "respectable woman/wife".

Despite popular belief, it has never been used to mean "homophobic" or "fetishistic". I've also seen the claim that it's the Japanese equivalent of "fag hag" but that's also not true (that's actually okoge/お焦げ, which is a play on a nasty slur).

The term itself was coined in the early 2000s on a website called 2channel, a forum site that was essentially the Japanese equivalent of 4chan (at the time, idk what it's like currently). The term was created by straight men as a way to degrade women in fandom, telling them that they're "spoiled" or "past their expiration date" because of their interests and therefore ruined for marriage.

(The term fujoshi, at the time, was applied to women who "ruined" fandom for men, usually women who liked shipping or creating romantic fan content for media mostly enjoyed by men. It was never, as people like to believe, about protecting gay men because the people who coined it saw m/m ships as ruining their favorite characters.)

The cultural context for this is really important because, even now, there's incredibly strict and misogynist ideas about a woman's role in Japanese society. Fandom, and other personal interests, are seen as something childish that Japanese women are expected to abandon as they get older. Those women are often expected to put their full focus on finding a husband, starting a family, and becoming a homemaker. Even now, women working outside of certain careers is controversial.

When Japanese men call women fujoshi, what they're saying is that unmarried women will never find husbands (failing at what they should see as their purpose) and that married women are shaming their husbands and children (again failing their supposed purpose) by partaking in fandom at all.

Fujoshi became a reclaimed label though! Japanese women took that misogynistic term and said, "You know what? Okay. If having interests makes me spoiled, then I'll be as rotten as I want". It became a way for those women to fight against the idea that all they're good for is being wives and mothers or that they should care more about being desirable than happy.

It also became a way for Japanese women to explore their sexuality. In Japan, the "female" body (the sex binary is fake, but you get what I mean) is highly stigmatized, especially the vagina. There's strict laws about how women's bodies can be shown in media, and many women have been arrested and jailed for creating vagina imagery. With that in mind, fujoshi often use BL (boys love, more commonly known as "yaoi" in the West) as a way to explore their own sexuality, attraction, and desires within the extremely strict confines they have.

(Edit to put in a quick note: while it isn't EXPLICITLY illegal to depict vaginas and vulvas in Japanese art, it's way more likely that the artists will be fined or arrested for violation of obscenity laws compared to artists who depict penises in their works. This is something that a lot of women in Japan, like artist Igarashi Megumi, have been challenging both in social situations and in court. While this stigmatization exists in the West as well, including the US, it manifests in different ways in Japan and it's important that we have full cultural context in this discussion.)

These days, when used as a self identifier in fandom, fujoshi literally just means "woman who likes m/m content". There's male and gender neutral versions (fudanshi/腐男子, fujin/腐人) and even versions for f/f content (himejoshi/姫女子, himedanshi/姫男子, and himejin/姫人). None of these terms have any moral weight, nor do they indicate how someone treats real queer people.

Over the years, and with the rising popularity of manga and anime in the West, the label fujoshi has been shared with Western fans. Unfortunately, it took on its misogynistic origins in this new space too and became another weapon to basically tell women to go back to the kitchen. Which was how it was used originally. Now we're at the point where that misogyny is being framed as progressive, to protect gay men from these supposedly straight cis girls who are obsessed with them. It's also become a very popular insult for radfems to throw at trans fans, particularly trans guys, to frame them as cishet girls who are "pretending" to be men because they "fetishize" "real" gay men.

And that's basically the gist of it. Hope this helps, anon!

#fujoshi discourse #pro fujoshi #anonymous

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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 2 years

Text

Re-Remade List for BNHA with ones I am actively working on/have plotted out/think about. Relative AUS

These are AUs where Izuku’s related to *insert character*. Mostly parents.

Izuku Many Dads: AU where Izuku’s mom goes to a sperm bank as she is AroAce and wants kids. The sperm bank is a front for a shady buisness where a branch of the HPSC is trying to breed new heroes by using sperm collected from heroes who are worried about injuries making them unable to have kids in the future. Sperm is collected during teenage years so we have choices. Would be a Series thing with multiple possibilities and choices. Uncle Might: Inko’s long lost brother is none other than All Might. On AO3

Inko's Hero Partner.

AU's Where Inko is dating a hero.

YamaDad: Inko and Present Mic get together. Izuku remains Quirkless and wants to be the first Quirkless Hero. Shinsou is adopted by Mic and Inko. IidDeku is the pairing I tentatively want but that might change.

Quirk AU

AUS where Izuku has a Quirk

Omega Quirk: Izuku’s Quirk basically has him be like an omega from fanfics. Sorta. Is currently a fanfic as well. Pairing so far undecided. Best friends with Shinsou

Nothing Unique: AU where a scout for hero schools goes to Aldera as a punishment duty and discovers that Izuku is highly intelligent. The basis of the AU is that Quirks aren’t Unique and most schools prefer things like brains not related to Quirks. Also, a person with a Quirk similar to AFO is around and works with the Thailand Government and Izuku gains a Quirk publicly.

Magic Baby AU: Izuku has a Quirk that lets him have kids. Full explanation Here

Selkie AU: Magic made Quirks and Izuku’s dad was a Selkie. Has Izuku discovering this, Inko going to jail and Izuku being taken in by vampire Aizawa and his husband Mic.

Decagon: Izuku is able to boost people’s Quirks and gains strength from those he is bonded with. On AO3

Fake Quirk AUs

Izuku Fakes a Quirk AUs

Fistfull of Glitter: Izuku ends up covered in Glitter one day and says it’s his Quirk Sarcastically. People believe it. He rolls with it and then claims that he produces it every night while sleeping. Showers with glitter to make it look realistic. Becomes a Hero. No Pairing Yet

Fem!Izuku AUs

Aus where Izuku’s a girl.

Pulling on the Strings of Destiny: A reading the books AU where Izuku is a girl, and she has a kid. On AO3, and a tag on tumblr

Lesbian Izuku: A series where F!Izuku is gay and has a variety of girlfriends. Usuaully I get to cause pain to other characters with One Sided Feelings

Betrothal Verse: AU Where F!Izuku is able to have a powerful child and ends up in an arranged marriage. Is a series. Pairings are: Iideku, TodoDeku, TokoDeku, ShinDeku and HawksDeku.

Quirkless AUs

AUs where Izuku remains Quirkless

Another Idol: During an international hero fighting competition, Izuku discovers that there are Quirkless heroes in other countries thanks to one of the finalists being Quirkless. Izuku gains another idol fast here.

Raising Kacchan: Izuku is older and is raising Bakugou. He ends up at UA where he teaches the hero course kids. Shinsou, Hawks and Tensei all like him and are interested (Shinsou aged up). Dabi also has an interest due to Izuku being behind Endeavor losing his hero license. Tumblr Tag

Babies

AUs where someone has a kid

Stone Cold Sober AU: Izuku is an Omega and the doctor who declared him Quirkless discovers he has OFA as he works with AFO. OFA users who carried kids have like super powerful children so the doctor takes the chance to experiment by using sperm stolen from a hero sperm bank to try and impregnate Izuku. Would be a series with multiple possible parents of the kid.

#bnha #bnha au

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slimeypuppy · 2 years

Text

“We should go on a vacation.”

Kendall pauses with his fork halfway to his mouth. He hasn’t been to this restaurant before, because when it’s left up to him, he more often than not goes to the same places he’s been to a million times. The familiarity is comforting. He knows what he likes and how long it will take for what he likes to be in front of him, steaming hot and ready to be devoured. Stewy, on the other hand, loves trying new things and probably has a mental yelp page for every single place he’s tried. Tonight, it’s an upscale teppanyaki place, where Kendall has simply gotten bored of the chef trying to impress them. Despite the high price tag on merely getting to sit at one of the grills, Stewy bought out the whole table so they don’t have several strangers crowded with them while they eat. Kendall has tried everything, and only really liked a couple of the options, but he keeps eating everything Stewy holds up to his mouth because it’s difficult to say no.

“Vacation?” he repeats.

“Yeah, a vacation. You’ve heard of ‘em.” Stewy leans back slightly in his chair and pops a hand-roll into his mouth. "I was thinking somewhere warm and beachy, like the Maldives. Thoughts?"

Kendall pauses and considers this. All the vacations he's been on in life, besides his honeymoon, were family events. As an older teen, sometimes Stewy would stay for a few days at the summer house, but by and large it was just the family and whichever higher ups were in favor. The honeymoon, which Rava begged to have in Hawaii, had been more sunburning and nightly missionary than anything else. He has fond memories of the honeymoon, looking back; Rava had held his head between her thighs, knees planted next to his ears, and praised him as he went down on her for an hour, they hit every destination beach with white sand, and she held his hand like she would never let go.

He's never been on a vacation with anyone else. Part of him worries this is a vacation in the way Bellevue was a vacation after his first overdose, and it's a trick he's teetering on the edge of falling for, but then he reigns himself in. It's Stewy. Stewy doesn't lie, even if he does misrepresent or leave out details.

"I don't know if I'd want to go to the tropics. It sounds sticky."

Stewy laughs as he signals the waiter for a refill. "Fair enough, man, fair enough. Maybe we go to like, Europe. I know you've been, but still. Maybe we go to France. Get some good food, piss off the Parisians, get really drunk." He pauses. "I don't know. I just think we've earned a break."

Kendall rolls his eyes. "Stewy Hosseini, taking a break? I never thought I'd see the day."

"Well, the married life has changed me," he jokes.

But neither of them laugh at that, instead letting his words hang between them. Stewy doesn't take it back, because he never does, but the knowledge of how close their lives have become to marriage is too much brought into the light. In another world, maybe. Not this one. They can't, not with Kendall's baggage, family, and the minor inconvenience of not being gay. Stewy has never come out to him, per se, or even expressed interest in men in front of him, but Kendall knows. It's impossible to be someone's best friend for most of their life and not know that about them.

"I'm serious. Fresh start, even. We go for a month or two, I'll work remotely on whatever needs it, and we just put it on pause."

Kendall shakes his head with a smile, watching the surface of the hibachi instead of looking at Stewy. "This sounds crazy."

"We need a little crazy. Come on, don't tell me you haven't ever wanted to fuck off to somewhere no one knows you with a suitcase and a dream and all that bullshit. You never wanted to swipe your pretty little Amex and be?"

"Well," Kendall says, debating his next words, "my therapist talked me down from it in the middle of a manic episode."

It takes a moment for Stewy to mull this over. "Yeah, okay, I get that. Was that Harvard, in '99? I remember you being obsessed with teaching yourself Portuguese."

"Oh. Right. Um, yeah I was gonna fuckin, uh, go to Peru. Dad doesn't have people in Peru."

Nodding, Stewy thanks the chef for depositing the lobster onto their plate. They both start eating, and although Kendall doesn't enjoy lobster too much, he's still more than impressed by the vegetables and steak. They companionably finish their meal, Stewy pays the cheque, and on the way out, Stewy appears to check his emails. By the time they get into the town car, Stewy has pocketed his phone.

"Would you rather go to South America?"

"No."

"Cool. Do you need anything from home?"

"I mean, I have my wallet and phone. Stewy, what-"

Stewy leans toward the driver. "JFK, please. The private gates." He relaxes back into his seat just as quickly. "We're going to Paris. You can sleep on the jet, it's a long ride."

"I don't sleep much when I'm not depressed."

"Then it'll be good for you."

They get to the airport a short while later, where their flight is already waiting for them. Stewy's latest assistant, who might be named Mona or Monique or something like that, is waiting for them. Her usually stiffly coiled chestnut hair has been piled in a messy bun, and her business flashy-casual is absent in favor of a sweater and leggings. She has a backpack in one hand and a duffel in the other.

"You fucking suck," she tells Stewy. "I hate you so much. You know it's almost midnight."

"Thanks, Monica."

Stewy air kisses her cheeks and shoulders both bags, not even bothering to check them. Kendall remembers how it had been like that with Jess. He knew she was diligent and thorough, and she dropped everything to do weird things like this all the time. It's nice, but it's a luxury of wealth.

"Anybody I need to talk to has my international number, so any calls and appointments can wait," Stewy says, but Kendall gets the impression he's already texted or emailed this to her. "I'll be checking my email, keeping an eye on shit. Honestly, as long as you check your email everyday, you should be good. I appreciate you so much."

Monica laughs. "I'm honestly surprised you didn't have me pack a bag too. How will you get on without me?"

"I thought about it. But I'll be fine."

He smiles at Kendall, and it feels like there's something going on that's flown over Kendall's head. The sensation isn't unfamiliar, but he still doesn't know how to figure it out, so he casts the thought aside as they finish their conversation for Stewy to lead them both into the jet.

He immediately starts rooting through the duffel and produces sweatpants for Kendall to replace his jeans with, as well as loungewear of his own. Instead of going into the partitioned back half or to the bathroom, Stewy strips down to his boxers right there and redresses. They used to live in the same dorm, so it's not unheard of for them to change in front of each other, and yet this feels so much different. Kendall stares at the floor as he changes, and when he looks up, Stewy is reclining in one of the seats and looking through his backpack.

"Monica grabbed your meds too, by the way. I have your daily and as needed ones." He gets a bottle out and checks the label before putting two green and white pills in his hand, swallowing them down with a chaser of his flask. "Do you need the traz?"

"I wouldn't mind."

Stewy finds the correct bottle and hands it over. Less than ten minutes later, before the plane has even taken off, he's out.

#sd!au #kenstew #kendall roy #stewy hosseini #kenstewy #emwrite

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maybankiara · 3 years

Text

TELL ME, IS IT WORTH IT?

pairing: JJ Maybank x Pope Heyward

summary: Pope proposes, JJ panics, and now he’s trying to explain why he said no (and why he shouldn’t have done it.)

w/c: 3.7k

a/n: angst with a happy ending, ignore all the typos bc this is entirely unedited (i might edit in the future)

masterlist | tag list

read on archive of our own

It’s really unfair that when someone’s life falls apart, the world itself doesn’t. JJ thinks it should. It should be raining knives, hailing bullets, volcanoes should be exploding and the ground shaking shouldn’t be just his personal experience of reality.

But it’s not even a moderately hot day. It’s breezy, it’s perfect, and it’s one of the nicest days of the fucking whole year.

JJ hates it.

The Chateau has only got John B and Kiara under its roof when he barges in, teeth gripping on the cap of a beer bottle. ‘Don’t ask,’ he states, then drops in the empty space between the two on the couch. His legs find their home on the coffee table and he nearly downs the bottle. Burps. Sighs, dramatically.

He knows they’re exchanging glances, but he chooses to ignore it.

Kie’s consoling hand lands on his shoulder. ‘What ha—’

‘Pope asked me to marry him,’ he says, ‘and I said no. And I also said I think it’s never going to happen.’

John B should’ve made a dumb comment. Kie should’ve made a sarcastic remark. But they didn’t, and they won’t, because JJ feels the gravity of the situation weighting down his lungs. (It feels like being torn up inside out, like his heart is chewing on itself out of anger, or sadness, or betrayal. It feels like the moment when your heart skips a beat and you think this is it, this is how I die, except you don’t; except you’re stuck in that moment forever.)

JJ burps. It chips at the silence, but it doesn’t break it. Kie’s hand on his shoulder is frozen and the distance between him and John B seems like an ocean.

‘Yeah,’ says JJ. ‘I don’t think that was what he expected.’

A sigh comes from Kie, but he doesn’t look. ‘When was this?’

‘About twenty minutes ago. I drove straight here.’

‘Drunk?’ asks John B.

‘Does it matter? I’m here now. Safe and sound.’ He lets out a dry chuckle before he can stop himself, and shakes his head. ‘Physically, anyway.’

‘You’re not drunk,’ says Kie. It sounds a little like a scoff, so JJ looks at her, but he can’t figure out what her face is saying. Tight lips scream anger, but her eyes are soft as ever, maybe a little concerned. She glances between him and John B with one of her eyebrows slightly raised. ‘He’s a heartbroken idiot, but not drunk.’

‘Ah. Understandable. Should I—’

‘You know what being a heartbroken idiot means.’ Kie pushes herself off the couch and when JJ glances at his other friend, John B’s just as confused as he is. ‘I know a thing or two about getting your heart broken for a dumb reason. You two sort that out, and I’ll make sure Pope’s okay. Let me know when you’ve knocked some sense into him.’

Before either of the boys manage to comprehend her words, she’s out the door. The Kie-shaped void on JJ’s left side feels a little odd, so he pushes himself into that side of the couch. The beer is bitter at the back of his throat; he wishes some music would be playing.

John B calls his name, so JJ looks at him. He’s giving him the puppy eyes, trying to get him to talk, and it’s because neither of them really know how to start. (Their affection is physical, not verbal. Kie’s the one who’s good at that. Pope is—)

‘Did you panic?’ asks John B.

JJ shakes his head. ‘Don’t think so. Not until after I’ve said it, anyway.’

‘So what happened?’

There’s a pause, JJ feels his brow furrow, and then: ‘I don’t know.’

‘…you don’t know?’

‘No.’

‘So you panicked.’

‘No, I didn’t, it’s—’ With a sigh, JJ accepts the momentary defeat. He glances over and sees John B’s signature stare full of indecipherable intent, but nothing less than pure kindness. They’ve had their bumps, but they always came out on top. It’s the pogue way. Even if John B wears that stupid bandanna around his neck well into his married life of his late twenties. ‘I knew the answer was no.’

It’s John B’s turn to frown. ‘You’ve thought about it?’

‘No, I just knew. Like you know the ocean is salty.’

‘You know that because you’ve tasted it before,’ counters John B. ‘I doubt you’ve been proposed to before.’

‘I could’ve been!’

All John B offers is a long stare yet that is enough. He’s older by only a few months, but he’s also married and didn’t say no to the proposal (granted, it was him proposing to Sarah, but still) and kind of has got his life together. He’s still JJ’s dumb older brother, but he knows something JJ doesn’t.

‘How did you know you wanted to marry Sarah?’

‘Are you reconsidering your answer?’

‘No, I just—’ JJ sighs again and tries to wish another bottle into appearing in his hand. Doesn’t work. Probably for the better. He just leans his head back on the couch and stares at the ceiling, connecting the dots in his mind. ‘I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want you to tell me how you knew.’

He hears shuffling, and then feels John B’s feet in his lap. (He’s not going to comment on the boat shoes. There’s been enough deflecting. He’s got to listen, because Pope is threatening to burst into the forefront of his mind any second now.)

John B gives out the deep, heavy sigh that only comes with a slight aah whenever he’s about to tell a story. ‘When we were young, she made everything come alive. Everything looked brighter and clearer, and it was like I could finally breathe with the entirety of my lungs.’

JJ closes his eyes, trying not to gag. ‘Bro. I’m not listening to that.’

‘But that’s how I knew!’ He could just hear the grouch in his friend’s voice and now he’s threading the fine line between laughing and gagging. ‘Seriously, JJ, you asked. I don’t— I don’t know what to say. I don’t think you’re taking this seriously enough.’

‘I am.’

‘No, you’re not. You’re deflecting.’

‘Big word.’

‘See?’ John B scrunches his nose, shaking his head. His thumb and index finger grip the bridge of his nose. ‘I know you’re confused. And scared. I know you panicked when Pope asked, but I don’t think you understand how horrible is the thing you’ve done.’

‘It’s not like I broke his heart,’ scoffs JJ, but the words are flat and his heart skips another beat. He doesn’t need to look at John B to knows he’s got his head in his hands. ‘C’mon, it’s Pope. He’s tougher than he looks.’

‘Yes, but he proposed, JJ. He asked to spend the rest of his life with you and you said no!’

‘I didn’t say no to that!’ JJ flings himself off the couch and now he’s pacing around the living room of the Chateau, marching circles around the coffee table. His forehead is pulsating; he’s probably having a heart attack. That’d explain a lot. ‘I said no to getting married.’

‘That’s the same thing.’

‘It isn’t.’

‘It is.’

‘It really isn’t, John B,’ he spits out. Christ, he’s getting hot. Is that his blood boiling? ‘Marriage is… It’s taxes. It’s prenups. It’s joint bank accounts, it’s added tension, it’s fucked up. Half of the marriages don’t even last.’

(Pope’s always talked about getting married. When gay marriage was legalised, before they were together, before they were out of the closet, even then he was openly delighted about it. He’s been talking about the two of them getting married for a while now, or at least hinting at it.

He should’ve expected it. It didn’t come out of the blue. He saw the signs, just ignored them, because… because…)

‘If you’re scared marriage is going to ruin your relationship, JJ, I’ll have you know you’ve already done that yourself.’

This is about the point where everything just… It comes crashing down. The world does end the way JJ wanted it to.

He feels himself growing very, very still, like when he was younger and his father raised a hand. He feels his breath halting in his throat and ears tuning out all sound, repeating John B’s words over and over until the echo became the echo of itself. He could feel the ground opening beneath him despite not moving an inch.

When gravity drags you down to earth, your rose-tinted glasses shatter like porcelain.

He sees Pope’s face of shock, then laughter, then embarrassment and betrayal at once, once he’s realised JJ isn’t joking. He sees him get up from his knees, hands shaking as JJ fumbles over his words, unable to find an explanation or an excuse. He feels cold sweat breaking out on his forehead, blood turning to ice in his hands. He sees his mum leaving, his dad’s hand raised; he sees people arguing and JJ wants to cover his ears. He sees himself, alone, alone, alone.

And he sees Pope turning his back to him. Quietly. He doesn’t even argue back. Just takes the no and i’m sorry, i can’t do this, it’s never going to happen, not like this and doesn’t say a word. Just walks away.

It’d be easier if he screamed at JJ. At least he’d know how to deal with that.

Pope’s heartbreak is the quiet kind, the one that doesn’t ask for attention, just the opposite. Usually JJ’s there to hold his hand, to sit by his side until Pope’s ready to talk about it, or be somewhere around, far enough so that Pope deals with things himself, but close enough so that he’s there if he’s needed. He’s never been the reason for the quiet.

Fire replaces the ice. JJ feels like the sun itself is tearing him open.

‘Shit,’ he says. ‘Fuck.’ Then raises his eyes until he meets John B’s, blurry and barely visible. ‘I fucked up.’

He doesn’t realise he’s shaking until his knees buckle under his weight and he stumbles to find his footing. John B shoots from the couch and pulls him into a hug, wrapping his arms around him so tight JJ couldn’t have escaped if he wanted to. He didn’t. He wanted to be held, even if by a friend.

He doesn’t sob because the sob gets caught in his throat, too, but he lets out a cough that says all the same. ‘It would’ve been easier if you yelled at me.’

‘I know.’ John B pats his back, letting JJ rest his weight unto him. ‘Pope will understand. That’s why Kie went to talk to him. As long as you realise you’re hurting everyone by being an idiot, you can make it better.’

‘I thought—’ He stops, because his words get fumbled again, and now he’s pressing his eyes into his friend’s shoulder like he’s all he’s got. ‘I don’t want to hurt anyone again.’

‘You’re not going to, okay? Just… Marriage is not all taxes, and you gotta understand that. It’s about knowing that if they get hurt, you’ll be allowed to see them. That you can get a house together, that you can look after each other if something goes wrong. That what you have is there to stay. Think of it as a promise.’

JJ snorts, but he doesn’t let go. ‘I don’t do well with people promising things to me.’

‘Then promise it to yourself,’ counters John B. The way he puts it makes it sound it’s as easy as breathing – JJ wishes he could feel the same. ‘Promise to stay with him. Promise to be around if something bad happens, but if something good happens, too. That’s what marriage is.’

‘I already promised that,’ he says. ‘His future and mine are the same.’

‘Then what’s the problem? Marriage is just making it legal. Making it formal. When what you have is honest and true, it doesn’t change anything. It just makes things better.’

JJ pulls out, feeling confident he can stand on his own two feet. He still feels a little lightheaded, but the thought of Pope possibly thinking that spending the rest of their lives together is the last thing JJ would want… That is the last thing JJ would want. Pope hurting because of him.

JJ can’t afford to be scared anymore; living a life half-way ready to run is not living.

He checks his phone; it must’ve chimed at some point because there’s texts from Kie, telling him where she is with Pope. His heart skips another beat, and at this point he thinks he could have enough heartbeats for a whole new person just from the ones he missed.

He’s not dying today. He’s not dying before he gets to live the future he’s almost ripped out of his own hands.

When he looks up at John B, he feels the hint of a weary smile on his lips. ‘I think I’ve got a promise to make.’

—

It shouldn’t be a surprise JJ finds them at the Boneyard, yet it’s still quite odd to see the scenario he’s seen a million times – Kie sitting next to the sea with her feet dipped into water as her fingers splash at the waves just about reaching her, and Pope… Pope sitting on the half-dunked log that’s been here forever, with his feet bare but not quite touching the water. His head is hung low and JJ can see the strain in his shoulders even from halfway across the beach; the cap is sitting on his lap, unused, despite the sun high above their heads.

The sight tugs at his heart and he falters in his step, but John B’s firm hand on his back encourages him forward. JJ gives a slight nod; he’s not giving up on the courage.

It’s Pope who notices them first and he stiffens even more; JJ sees Kie pat his knee before turning around and waving at them, then saying something to Pope. JJ wishes the wind would carry her words to him – is it encouragement or telling Pope he’s better off without someone who panics and refuses the one thing they’ve always longed for?

‘Don’t.’ John B pats him on the back. ‘I see you doing your dumb thought thing.’

JJ opens his mouth to say something, but whatever it was that he meant to say, it’s gone forever. All he can do is try and keep his shoulders from slumping and hands from forming fists; he can’t allow himself to be angry at the world, or himself.

The sand creaks underneath his feet. He hates it in this moment, because it makes him aware of every step he’s got to take to get to Pope, and the steps drag into eternity.

Pope locks their eyes. JJ tries figuring him out, but he’s too far, and Pope’s too guarded.

(Not against me, Pope. Please. Not against me.)

When they get there, JJ feels like fainting, but he sets his foot firmly on the ground. He’s not escaping.

‘Hey,’ greets Kie, and John B returns the greeting. The feuded lovers stay silent, just taking each other in.

(JJ always wished he could paint. The lines of Pope’s face are shaped as if they were meant to withstand centuries instead of being washed away with age. He wishes he could offer to Pope more than just… himself.

He’s talked about this with Pope before, though. Feeling inferior to his boyfriend was always going to be JJ’s Achilles’ heel, yet he didn’t think it would come to this. He made another promise, ages ago – to try to see himself the way Pope sees him. The way other people see him.

To believe in himself the way he believes in other people, for once.)

The silence is heavy, but JJ forces himself to not see it that way. Instead, he looks over to Kie, to John B, and says: ‘Can you guys give us a second?’

There’s nods and then they’re off, with nothing between the couple aside from waves crashing into the shore. Pope’s head is hung and shoulders slumped, and he’s sitting on this log with one foot pulled up and resting on it, the other hanging in the water now. JJ’s fingers ache to reach across for his, but he tells himself it’s not the time.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘Marriage scares me. I don’t know one that worked out, aside from John B and Sarah. I was raised to be on my own. Marriage means not being alone and that scared me, until I realised that… I haven’t been alone for a while now. The pogues, you… Nobody’s going anywhere. And if marriage is just a way to promise to you that I’m not going anywhere, either, and if it means so much to you, then I say let’s do it. I got scared, but never for a second did a life without you cross my mind. It’s — That’s my nightmare, Pope. Your future and mine are the same. Where you go, I follow. That’s the way things are.’

For a long time, it was JJ trying to come to terms with loving Pope – then it was Pope coming to terms with loving JJ. They’ve always loved each other, in a way, without quite saying it. It has never been the kind of love that is shouted from the rooftops – it’s the helping hand, the whispers of i got this, or you’re not alone in this, or i wish you could see yourself the way i see you. It’s the kind of love that’s etched into the air around them, existing as a part of themselves rather than something external. They’ve grown into it, shaped their lives around it.

It’s always been the beach for them. Their first kiss when they were seventeen, their first fight, their first promise to stick together through thick and thin. Every time something happened, something that mattered, etched itself into the back of JJ’s mind like the sound of his mother’s voice, it was always accompanied by the sound of waves on the shore; by the wind howling over the bay. It was always people chatting in the distance, or some music playing from a half-working speaker. It was always them, in the midst of other people’s lives.

Pope proposed in their flat.

When JJ drops to his knees, he doesn’t do his dumb thought thing. He doesn’t even think about it – for once, his gut isn’t telling him to run, but stay. ‘Pope Heyward.’

‘JJ—’

‘Can you let me do this?’ asks JJ. He laughs a little, shakes his head, and tries not to think about how ridiculous this looks. ‘I know I already had a monologue, but I don’t think I got my point across.’

Pope shakes his head, too; he isn’t smiling, but his eyes aren’t as strained anymore. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to—’

‘I want to. I want this, okay? I want you to hear it.’

He can see Pope’s Adam’s apple bob, and he can see his shoulders slump in a relaxed way. The lines around his eyes soften and his lips nearly turn upwards, just a little bit. A little twitch is enough to shoot electricity to JJ’s heart.

‘Pope, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life saying it to you. You’re my best friend, my boyfriend, and my fiancee, if you’ll have me after the shit I pulled today. Husband, then. Father of your children, because I know it’s what you’ve always wanted, and I want it, too. Whatever you’ll be, I’ll be by your side. It’s all I want. No matter what our status is, we’re always Pope and JJ. We’re always just us. And I really haven’t thought out what I’d say next because—’

Pope’s lips crash into JJ’s, his hands grasping at JJ’s face, and world pulls itself together again. When they part their foreheads lean against one another, and he can feel Pope’s breath on his lips, and he feels his hands burning on the small of Pope’s back, and he can breathe and breathe and breathe like his lungs have never worked properly before.

(He understands John B now. Not like he’d ever admit it to him.)

He lets out a chuckle, and then he’s kissing Pope again – a small, chaste kiss, just to feel the softness of the touch. His fingers grip the back of Pope’s flannel and he’s laughing into the kiss.

‘You’re an idiot,’ says Pope. ‘I should break up with you.’

‘Can’t. I’m too irresistible.’

‘Shut up. You’re cheesy. That entire speech would put John B to shame.’

JJ shakes his head again and then his thumb is tracing the line of Pope’s jaw, eyes transfixed by his lips. He almost lost this. He almost gave up everything out of fear after promising to never doing it again. (He’s making a vow, this time. It holds more weight.) ‘You loved that speech.’

Pope rolls his eyes, in the way that tells JJ he’s right. ‘Kie told me you were freaking out at the Chateau.’

‘I was,’ admits JJ. What’s the point of holding back the truth? ‘I was freaked out of my mind. I thought I’d ruined everything.’

‘You forget how well I know you, JJ. I was hurt, but I knew you would come back. Old you would run, but Kie came and said you’re at the Chateau, and you wouldn’t have gone there if you meant to run.’

‘I couldn’t ever run from you.’

‘You better.’

JJ rolls his eyes at the teasing tone in Pope’s voice, then pulls him in for a hug. It’s not long until Pope buries his face in JJ’s shoulder, and JJ kisses the side of his head. ‘I do want to marry you, if you’ll have me.’

There’s a pause and JJ feels Pope chuckle against his neck, shivering a little. ‘What is it that you said? My future and yours are the same? That better be in your vows, John B.’

‘Shut up.’ JJ feels himself burning, neck up this time, and tries to laugh it off. ‘I get to be cheesy once.’

‘Just save it for the wedding. I’d like to hear it again.’

JJ angles his body so there’s some space between them; he doesn’t hesitate before planting another kiss on Pope’s lips, reveling in the ease of movement. This is what coming home feels like, and if this is what future has in store for him, who is he to complain?

#outer banks #obx #mayward #jjpope #mayward fic #jjpope fic #jj maybank #pope heyward #my fic #god a part of me adores this and another part hates it #if i don't post it in the first draft version i'll never post it #obx fic

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