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r3starttt · 3 months

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Don’t delete the kisses

a/n: I got my inspo from “See You In My 19th Life” also, felt too personal. Basically reader inspired on me lol

Pt 2. | Prt.3 | Prt.4

Warnings: mentions of bullying, suicide, lots of angst and fluff

“I see the signs of a lifetime, you ‘til I die”

You’ve had seventeen lives so far. You’ve been all kinds of people in all kinds of places, and you always remember each one of them. It always happens for different reasons, it could be a smell that reminded you of a perfume, a new dish that apparently you’ve already tried before, a face that felt familiar, a song that made you feel weirdly in love.

At first it was horrifying, it was so confusing and you made so many mistakes. You told people about it. You tried to find your loved ones, tried to approach to them again because your heart still missed them. But eventually you learned to handle it. Eventually the pain of past life losses disappeared and you just learned to ignore your not so nice gift.

You’ve also learned to adapt to every life, which was becoming easier every time because the knowledge, talents and hobbies from every life apparently stayed with you. Maybe it was your soul?

You stopped having complains and learned to value and enjoy everything. You appreciated every mistake you made because it helped you learn for a future life, you enjoyed feeling everything so deeply because it would help you remember the next time you reincarnate, you showed your love for everyone and did everything you wished so you wouldn’t have any regrets. You learned to be positive and take advantage of everything that was offered to you on each life.

Until now.

Ever since you were a child you’ve felt empty. Loved but not enough to fill your heart, admired but feeling like you’re not worth it, with friends that care for you and a lovely family that provides you all you need and all you could ever ask for but feeling like you don’t deserve them. Maybe you were born sad?

It seems like your whole life happened in the blink of an eye. Maybe it’s the sadness that hasn’t allowed you to enjoy this life properly, but where does that come from?

Maybe you’ve got used to sadness so much that you don’t know how to handle it on this life? It’s frustrating, not even all the knowledge in the world, all the abilities you’ve learned and your old soul can handle such feeling. It’s the first thing you’ve been unable to control, ever.

There is a reason why it got out of control though. When you were eleven you were bullied by your whole class, including some professors. And it didn’t matter how much privilege you had, neither you or your parents could do anything about it.

That’s the moment all the lonely, angry and sad in you became overwhelming, the moment you started to believe in god again just to beg him every day to kill you, to let you die.

And even if that was almost ten years ago it still haunts you. The humiliation, the anger, the loneliness. And you can’t handle it, not because you don’t know how to, but because your body doesn’t allow you to.

Your heart always reminds you of it, like it happens with your past lives, there’s always a smell, a word, an action. The way those kids made you feel, they things those adults said to you, the way your parents broke in tears when you first told them, the awkwardness at home whenever they tried to make you talk to them. It all stuck to you forever.

“What if it’s not meant for me? Love”

However there was someone that was worth trying to live. Her name is Ellie, and you’ve been dating her for some years now.

She’s your childhood best friend, the person you trust the most on this world and the only one that doesn’t make you feel overwhelmed. Your girlfriend and the lover you’ve feel more connected to or all your lives.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” You’re both laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and talking about random stuff, whatever goes trough your minds “Or…. reincarnation”

“None of them, do you?” you could see her moving her head towards you from the corner of your eye “Yeah, I’d like us to be soulmates and find each other on each life” a chuckle came out of Ellie’s mouth “you’re so cheesy ughh” you laughed back, kicking her shoulder with your arm to which she complained.

“I know but, I’ve never loved someone this much el” you turned your head too, smiling at the look of Ellie’s shy smile and and her slightly tainted cheeks “you’ve really saved my life, you know it” Just as those words were spoken, her face changed completely.

“all good?”

You could see the worry on her face, in the way her eyes studied yours and on the pout that slowly appeared. You just sighed back, hesitating a bit and debating if you should tell her the truth or not.

“It’s probably my birthday, I’ll be fine” the reassurment in your voice didn’t seem to convince her, so you spoke again “el, things have been good in the past few years, it’s not gonna change suddenly”

“What if they do?” she’s right, what if they do?

“They won’t, I would already know and I would tell you, I promise” you do know, but you won’t tell her, not now.

“You tell me to get over it and to take you out, but I can’t and I’m too scared. “

You’ve tried to take your life some years ago, before Ellie and you started to date. Honestly, to this day you still don’t know how you managed to not die. It was late at night, right before your birthday, it always makes you feel extremely sad for some reason, you believe is the fear of growing up, of things getting harder.

“And here’s the night bus, I have to go. And the doors are closing and you’re waving”

You’ve had that feeling for over a month. All your healing process falling apart just for your birthday? you still feel ashamed about it. You just took some random blade you’d saved for this moment and started to practically stab your wrists.

All your thoughts mixed with the weirdly feeling of pain and satisfaction and the blood dripping down your arms blinded you, and in the blink of an eye you just loose the balance and fainted.

But you promised yourself that if you didn’t make it back then, you would try it again, no matter what. Or at least you tried to convince yourself.

“What if it’s not meant for me? Love”

“What are you gonna gift me?” you decided to better change the topic before your thoughts could overwhelm any of you “What do you want?” Her hands tangle with yours.

“You haven’t got me anything yet?” a laugh scapes your mouth “I do but…. I don’t know” Ellie loved handmade gifts, however she always does something different for you. “You know I love your gifts el, you can give me a rock and I would admire it forever”

Your hands slowly move from Ellie’s, cupping her face and making her look at you. She’s so pretty, with the light of the sun coming through the window snd hitting her freckles just perfect, making her eyes look shiny too.

“So you want a rock then?” of course she had to make jokes, she can’t handle romantic moments, gets to nervous. You just roll your eyes.

“You know, a perfect gift would be that you stopped using those crusty converse” she immediately groans, pushing your hands away from her face and leaning on her back

“What’s wrong with them?”

“They smell, they’re broken and they’re dirty as fuck because you never clean them”

“They don’t smell! and I glued them recently”

“Ellie, please”

“But don’t call me by my full name”

“I’m not! And I’ve always called you Ellie”

“No you haven’t, you call me El”

“El, please buy some new converse for my birthday”

“And what do I get for doing it?”

“Your girlfriends happiness”

“I think that’s a sign. I’m losing self control and it’s you”

And that’s how you it was for the rest of the day. Ellie pouting every time you teased her but calling you dramatic if you said anything about her teasing you. Also, Ellie suddenly telling you random facts about dinosaurs and space and just random stuff in general.

That was the las time you saw her, until your birthday. She’d come earlier than anyone else to have more time alone with you. It’s not that you had many friends but your family always came too so they’d keep you busy all day.

A day before you were looking through your closet, finding all the cute gifs Ellie had made you, admiring the details of all her drawings and reading the letters. Watching all the Polaroids your mom took of you two, the gift she made for you when she asked you to be her girlfriend, a bracelet she gifted you when you asked her to be her friend, a letter you made for her from when you first fought.

And it made you feel horrible, because the decision was already made, the letters for all the people you cared about were already written and saved in your desk. Your phone was already unlocked so everyone could have access to it, your room was tidy and your closet clean.

You were just waiting for her, for tomorrow, for all your family to be together when you left so it would be hopefully easier to everyone. For everyone to be there and get their letters, for Ellie to not be alone when she got the news, for your parents and your girlfriend to be comforted by each other’s presence.

You went downstairs, looking for Ellie since you heard your parents already speaking with her. They were all siting at the dining room.

It made your heart melt to see you happy she looked the moment she saw you. Her eyes, her pretty nose scrunching a little, her smile widening.

“Can I see my gift already?” Your parents laughed in disbelief, telling you to at lest greet her properly before asking her about a gift.

“Your parents told me you’ll open them later” she chuckled, looking at your parents and then back at you, you did the same.

You stepped closer to her, grabbing her hands and taking her to your room.

“Can you at least tell me what is it? I’ll act surprised I promise”

“A rock”

“Haha so funny el”

You closed the door behind you, watching Ellie sitting on your bed. She just stared at you, with puppy eyes of course. You really hoped you wouldn’t remember this when you reincarnated, or at least that It wouldn’t hurt as much as it does right now.

“What’s that box?” her finger pointed at the box you were just looking trough last night. You walked towards it and took it to the bed, sitting besides Ellie.

“All your gifts” she looked at you in pure shock “This is something I did for you when we were like…. Seven or something, why’d you still have it?”

“My mom saved all this things, it’s cute isn’t?”

“I feel exposed”

“What’s wrong with it? I love all of it”

“Your gift is not gonna fit in here”

“So it’s not a rock and defined not a new pair or converse” your eyes moved towards Ellie’s shoes, she just sighed

“Stop it, you’re the only one that notices them”

“My parents do, my mom asked my why you never changed them” that was a lie, but how could Ellie know?

You did the same thing as last nigh, take a final look to all the gifts that Ellie had made to you, not now with her. You’d made fun of her and she would just frown her eyebrows and eventually pout if she felt really ashamed of it. You’d make her read the letters out loud and ask her about the process of every draw she’d made of you.

“This letter is for me, why didn’t you give it to me?” Now you understood the feeling, karma. “We fought, I decided it was better to apologize in person” her hands leaned the letter towards you, making you read it out loud just as you’d made her do to you.

“January 13 2020” you stopped as she laughed “don’t laugh, you wanted me to read it I’ll read every detail then”

“I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you mad, I’m still not sure what it was- Ellie, you’re such a dramatic person”

“Me? You’re the one that’s dramatic for making a whole letter even though you hate writing just to randomly apologize”

“This just proves how much I love you, shut up”

“Right, keep reading”

“I’m still not sure what it was, but I feel like apologizing because Dina told me how much you’ve been crying and how awful I made you feel-“ you got interrupted by a loud gasp

“Why would Dina told you?” She slapped her hands on her face, groaning “only fucking fake friends these days” you laughed

“Hey don’t say that! I love Dina, she’s the sweetest and I bet she also tells you all I tell her about you, you’re overreacting for something that happened three years ago”

“You speak about me with her?” You nodded

“I want you to know that I’m so fucking grateful for having someone like you in my life. For a long time you were the only one that made me laugh, the only one that made me feel happy and loved and like life was worth it. You’re the reason I keep trying” you could feel the knot of tears forming in your throat, so painful “I feel like you got mad for what I said, but I want you to know that I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I wanted you to know how I truly felt about you and us and my life. I didn’t want to lie to you, I can’t. I was hoping you could understand that I didn’t tell you that before because I was afraid of how would you react, because I care for you snd I don’t want you to get hurt just for my weakness-“

The door of the room got opened after some small knocks were heard. Everyone had got there already. You didn’t realize how long you’ve been in your room with Ellie, totally worth it though.

You just saved the letter in the box again. You’ve purposely let it in your room for Ellie to take a look of it later that day, for her to have something left from you.

You both went downstairs again, Ellie went with your friends and you went to greet each family member, having some small talk with everyone and thanking them for being here.

And the time today felt extremely fast. Maybe this was the first birthday you’ve properly enjoyed, maybe you were excited or anxious, maybe it was the calm you’ve felt for the first time in years, maybe-

“I wanna eat the cake already, can’t you hurry them?” Ellie’s hands positioned around your waist, hugging you from behind and pulling you closer to her. You could see her pretty face resting on your shoulder, staring at you.

“You smell like gummies” you smiled without even realizing, now looking at Ellie. Her lips pressed in yours, the sour and sweet flavor invading your tongue “I ate gummies”.

“There’s tons of food El, why don’t you just eat something that’s not candy? Instead of asking for cake that by the way you won’t get to eat” she pinched your stomach slightly “why won’t I get to eat cake?” “I don’t think there’s enough for everyone

“I deserve it more than them, I’ve been with you, listening to your annoying voice every day” now you pinched her back “shut up or you really won’t get any”

“Do we really have to stay here with everyone? Your grandpa freaks me out” you chuckled “stop being rude to my family” “do we?” “let’s go outside”

And so you walked to the small garden behind your house, sitting on the cold grass with Ellie

“You seem happier this year…. do you feel happier?” you can see her toying with her fingers, staring at them to avoid eye contact “are you worried about me?” your gaze is now focused on your family, inside the house. You can see your friends almost eating each other on the closest window, it makes you laugh.

“The letter…. am I really that important to you?”

“You’re my best friend since forever el, you’re my girlfriend, why wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know, I thought I didn’t help you at all”

“You do”

You turned around again, facing Ellie. She was picking the grass. How were you supposed to leave her? How were you supposed to ever live without her?

You grabbed her face with your hands, pulling her closer for a kiss. Her lips felt just perfect for yours, her skin was so soft, her face just the right size for your hands to fit, her hair the right strength for you to feel it every time you two kissed. You couldn’t do this to her

You tried to break the kiss, but her hands moved behind your back, pulling you closer to her again and deepening the kiss. You could feel her smile trough the kiss, she’s so fucking pretty.

“I love you Ellie, I’ve always loved you, don’t ever doubt it” she laughs in confusion “I love you too” It was the third time you probably said it out loud, you really wished you would’ve told her sooner.

“I’m electric, a romantic cliché”

“Take this, I was planning on give it to you later but…. I guess it’s the right time” you looked confused at her, she was looking for something on her hoodie pockets. A rock

Maybe you should wait, just a little more, just for her.

The rock was painted with your favorite colors, it was your face. Why is she so lovely? Why can’t her love fill your heart? What’s wrong with you?

She slowly puts it on your hands, studying your face, looking for any reaction. You lean on her, hugging her as both of your bodies fall on the grass. You can’t see her but she’s definitely smiling.

“I can’t imagine a life without you Ellie, don’t ever dear to leave me” she thought you were just being romantic because of the gift, but you mean it, you hope you fin her always and forever. To hopefully have the life you won’t be able to enjoy with her this time.

Her hands rubbing your back, her nose smelling your perfume, nuzzling on your neck “I won’t, I promise”

“Let’s go for the cake, I can hear your stomach” you rest your arms on the grass, positioning each one besides Ellie’s face and giving her another kiss. Her eyes look so pretty.

The sky turns orange as you get inside the house again. You hate this part of the day because it means it’s almost over, and today specially you want everything but the day to end. You hope every smiley face in the house can forgive you for what you’re about to do, you hope they understand.

So now you’re siting in the middle of the table, with everyone you love around you as they sing happy birthday to you. Ellie is sitting besides you, taking pictures of you. And you can only thank her in a small whisper, and thank the universe in your mind for letting her have that picture as her last memory of you.

The minute the song is over everyone claps, watching you turn off the candle. You always wished for happiness, but today you’re just wishing for forgiveness. Your smile is wide, it hurts to lie to everyone there.

Before your mom cuts the cake for you as she usually did, you grab the knife and cut a big slice of cake for Ellie. “Can we open the gifts?” you ask loudly to everyone, knowing that way your parents wouldn’t make you wait more.

Everyone’s eating cake, sitting on the couches in the living room, most men in the room staring up, Ellie sitting besides you on the floor and offering you to open the gifts to “help you” but you know she’s just gossiping.

Whenever you didn’t like a gift you’d look at Ellie and she’s look back at you, like you could communicate with each other just with your eyes. She’d laugh and pass you another gift.

If you did like a gift then she’d take it from you and would stare at every detail of it. She’d separate discreetly the ones you liked from the ones you didn’t, she’d usually keep those or Insist you on selling them online.

However the more gifts you opened the more anxious you got. “Where’s your gift el?” you whispered as your mom passed you another gift, that seemed to be the last one. But it was way to small to be from Ellie “mine goes last, open that one, come on”

And so you did, it was a set of some pink pijamas, and the moment you opened them you turned your face at Ellie, she was already laughing “Shut up”

“Wait, there one more” you heard your mom speaking as she walked to the kitchen. Everyone looked at her, waiting to see what it was.

She returned with a big rectangular canvas. Did she just made a huge fucking painting for me? you thought, looking back at Ellie who seemed clearly nervous.

“I’ll give you the letter later, I didn’t want to get exposed in front of your whole family” she whispers

You take the canvas and turn it around. It was a portrait of a picture she took of you the day she asked you to date. It was so detailed, so colorful and just so right. You showed it proudly to your family. Everyone cheered Ellie and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her shy face, her cheeks covered in blush as she looked at her fingers, just as she did whenever she felt nervous. Your friends making fun of Ellie and you for being so “adorable” as you heard them say.

And the rest of the night Ellie just stood close to you, listening to everyone share all the fun memories and stories they had with you. She shared ridiculous things she’d lived with you, making you cover your face ashamed. But also making you laugh as she always did.

And you couldn’t be more grateful at the end of the day because finally, for one whole day you could finally be happy again, you didn’t felt pressured or anxious or sad or overwhelmed at all, and you were with everyone you loved. You could finally go, you were just waiting for living one happy moment in your life before you took such an important decision, and this was it. Today had been all you’ve ever wished for.

So when everyone left and your parents stayed cleaning you could only feel peacefulness overcoming your body. You went to your room and laid on your bed, Ellie was still there. She had to give you her letter and you couldn’t leave without reading it.

The big canvas was already in your room, right next to your bed. You were cuddling her as you read the letter.

“Happy birthday baby. I hope this year can be different, I hope you can get better, I hope you can be happier, and I hope I’m still here every day to see you smile more and more.

I remember starting the painting and regretting immediately because it was gonna take so long and I’m lazy as fuck. But I made it :)

I had to lie to you many times and tell you Joel needed my help with some stuff just so I could finish it, hope you didn’t get mad at it.

I’ve been noticing you off lately, but if I’m honest I’m too scared to ask. But you know you can always tell me anything, I’ll always understand and I’ll always listen, no judgment.

I’m proud of you for making it another year, and I’m the happiest person ever because I have you and I’m watching you try again and again. I know you’ll get better.

I still remember how nervous I was when I asked you to date, I can’t stop thinking about it lately, maybe it’s because of the painting? but I feel the same even after dating you for years, too cliche for you make me feel the butterflies on the stomach, a lot.

I’m glad we’ve got to grow up together, I can’t imagine this life without you. The other day you told me about this, about reincarnation and soulmates, I don’t believe on it, but if it’s real I’ll make sure I’m with you always. I promise.

I can’t wait for your birthday, I wanna see your reaction and I’m containing so much for not telling you already what it is. If you’re reading this then I didn’t regret writing you this or you found it without me noticing like you did last year, don’t do that again pls :(

Anyway, I want you to know that you’re the fucking best, the prettiest girl ever and I love you so fucking much.

Ellie :)”

She saw how you folded the letter, looking at your face for any response “I love you so fucking much too” you moved your head slightly up so you could properly kiss her. You’ve never kissed her so much in one day, you also wished you would.

She stares back at you, with those puppy eyes you love so much, and her dumb smile now a bit shiny due to the kiss.

Her hand moves to your neck, pressing your head on top of her chest. Her other hand moved to the puffy pink blanket that you had in your bed, moving it up to cover both of your bodies. Your hand moves on top of of her tattoo, caressing it softly with your thumb.

And before you realize you two fall asleep, not knowing how your life’s were about to change in less than twenty four hours.

Maybe it was the anxiety coming back but you woke up earlier than usual. You slowly removed Ellie’s arms from yours, placing them over your pillows.

You stood there for some minutes, just staring at her, at her gift next to your bed. Were you being selfish?

You slowly walked towards your desk, picking the letters and placing them on top of it so everyone could see them easily, you also placed your phone on top of them. This was it.

You hated yourself for not waiting for Ellie to leave, for making her see it and be there, but you had waited enough already.

You walked quietly and slowly to the bed, placing Ellie’s letter besides her. Then you walked to the bathroom, locking yourself in it just in case anyone woke up and went to look for you.

You regretted not taking your phone with you, maybe some music would help.

You slowly remove your clothes. You hear the water run. There’s so thoughts on your head right now.

You don’t even realize but the cuts are already there, making the blood run all over the tub and covering your body with it. Your eyes close and the only sound echoing in your ears is your own breathing.

This is nothing like what you’ve done before, this is it.

“Dear loved Ellie. El, Els

I love you so much, don’t ever forget it, don’t ever doubt it. I’m always gonna be with you and I promise, I swear that we’ll meet again. Please read this first before you do anything else. I’m probably not in bed right now, I knew you would stay, don’t panic.

Ever since you know me I’ve been sad, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I told you how I remember mas past lives when we were younger, remember? and you just laughed at me, but I want you to believe it this time. And I want you to never forget me, I want you to meet me again, in another universe where I’m happy and we can get to live anything we didn’t lived here.

I waited just for you, I tried my best, I promised myself I would only try once, and if I failed then I would take it as a signal to say, but I can’t.

Your jokes, your laugh, your pretty face, the songs you played for me with your guitar, you made me stay and try so many times, but I gave up.

I can’t live lifte this forever, and it hurts me deeply to leave you, because you don’t deserve this and I don’t want to leave, but the pain I feel every day is bigger than what I want.

It’s not your fault, it’s no one’s fault actually.

You told me that whenever I could say things out loud I should write them, but never keep them just for myself, and so I’m doing it right now, hoping you, Dina, Jesse, my mom, my dad, my family, you all understand. I know you will.

I want you to find someone else to make happy, some one that’s worth your fucking amazing and pretty self, someone else that truly deserves your time and your jokes, and your songs on your guitar. Someone that stays with you forever.

I feel so ashamed, I just couldn’t say to anyone out loud how tired I felt, how badly I wanted to die. How my first and kiss though if the day was death, how exhausted I feel every day for no reason. I can’t tell you that the moment you leave I feel overwhelmed again, I feel weak and alone. I just can’t.

I also wanna thank you for being with me every time, for teaching me how to live, for not giving up on me and for being always with me.

I remember the first time we kissed, the first time we slept with each other, how shy you got after that and how much you wanted to tell me but couldn’t so I found out by reading your diary. How mad you got for me reading it but how much you thanked me once we did it. I remember every single one of our dates. I remember the first time you talked to me and I talked to you, the first time you slept and my house and the first time I slept at yours. I never forgot anything, I won’t ever forget.

I remember how you told me you wanted to go to college just so you could work and make us my dreamed house, with an art studio for both of us and a room to have many cats. How you told me that you didn’t want any kids but since you dated me you could only think of having a cute baby that looked just like me. How you got mad when I told you I wanted my last name to go first.

And I want you to live that with someone that’s really worth it.

I’m so sorry for making you stay with me for so long, for making you waist your best years of adolescence and childhood trying to cure me and my sadness. And I’m sorry I’m leaving you like this. But I know you’ll understand.

Words cannot express how much I adore you, how happy you made me, how much I’m in love with you.

Please forgive me.

I swear we’ll meet again, I swear I won’t leave you again, I swear I’ll stay.”

She woke up your parents, your dad unlocked the door. They couldn’t take it.

Now they didn’t understand. Why would you do this? Why didn’t you tell anyone? Did you ever asked for help and they didn’t notice?

Why?

Ellie was too broken to cry. She wanted to look at you but her eyes could only stay at your wrists. She could never forget.

Your parents were on their knees, unable to think, unable to move, just crying.

And so was Ellie. She couldn’t believe just a couple of hours ago she was cuddling with you and now you were gone. How did that even work? There could never exist something more terrifying that your parents sobs. Should she leave? Should she stay?

Should she even try anymore?

She felt so much anger, so much desperation and anxiety in her body. She was so shocked she couldn’t do anything else than stare.

You were gone, forever.

It’s been just a month since you died. She’s been unable to move from her bed, not wanting to eat, not wanting to sleep, feeling dead. She’s been reading your letter nonstop, over and over again, almost memorizing it already.

And your parents? Your family? They’re all broken, how could any of this even happen?

Your funeral was shocking for everyone. Everything had happened so fast, in less then a week, just right after your birthday.

Did you really had to do this?

Everyone felt so sick, for not knowing, for not saying a proper last goodbye to you, for not giving you a proper gift, for not taking enough pictures and videos of you, for not speaking to you enough that last day. For not noticing snd for not helping you.

And Ellie could only hope that she’ll meet you again as you always assured her. That all this pain will disappear eventually. That the love she feel for you would actually help her.

“Me and you were meant to be in love. I see the signs of a lifetime, you ‘til I die”

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randomrichards · 1 year

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First, it uses Spider-Man: Into the Spider verse’s animation technique to create an animation style that resembles illustrations come to life and create some dazzling action scenes. It also gives Puss some unforgettable villains ranging from the hilariously sociopathic Big Jack Horner (John Mulaney) to Dreamwork’s most terrifying villain the Wolf (Wagner Moura). Finally, it gives Puss some depth as he is forced to confront his mortality and how his obsession with his legacy has kept him from forming meaningful connections.

TAR

Cate Blanchett gives one of the year’s best performances as a narcissistic and well-respected composer whose actions eventually comes back to haunt her.

THE TOP 10 LIST:

10) THE MENU

Satirical Comedy and unsettling horror make strange bedfellows in this unique tale of a Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy), an average woman who joins her foodie boyfriend (Nicholas Hoult) to an all exclusive dinner led by renowned chef Julian Slowick (Ralph Fiennes). What they don’t know is that Julian plans to deliver some just desserts for his latest customers.

The plot plays like a mystery. With each dish served, we try to guess what Slowick’s got planned for these elites. And Slowick’s motives grow more and more unsettling. It’s best to go in knowing as little of the movie as possible.

The actors are more than game for their respective performances. Fiennes is unsettling as a stern perfectionist who has a bone to pick with all of them. Taylor-Joy makes the perfect audience surrogate as she calls out the absurdity of the food arrangements. The rest of the cast play into the caricatures of their characters from Hong Chau as Slowick’s fanatical waitress to Janet McTeer as a pretentious critic. Hoult in particular relishes his role as a devoted know-it-all. Just the scene of him crying over tasting bread accompaniments without the bread is sure to bring a snicker.

This film ruthlessly mocks the elitist foodie culture. Most of the customers care more about the status than the meal, never just enjoying the dishes. With each dish, Slowick calls the customers out on their privileges.

Available on Disney+

9) THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN

In a small village in WW1 era Ireland, Padraic Suilleabhain (Colin Farrell) and Colm Doherty (Brendan Gleeson) spend their days enjoying glasses of Guinness at the local pub. But then one day, Colm decides he doesn’t like Padraic anymore and cuts him out of life to focus on making music. But the daft and offended Padraic can’t seem to take a hint much to Colm’s annoyance and Padraic’s spitfire sister Siobhan (Kerry Condon) chagrin. The locals aren’t much help, with many prying to know more about this incoming feud..

After earning acclaim (and some awards) with his Hollywood features Seven Psychopaths and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, writer/director Martin McDonagh returns to his roots and reunites his In Bruges stars Farrell and Gleason. McDonagh brings his trademark dark comedy to a folksy environment from his biting dialogue (“If punching a policeman is a sin then we may as well pack up and go home”) and surprising violence.[1] It also fits into McDonagh’s reoccurring theme of men who are unable to handle emotional moments like mature adults. While it can be devastating for a friend to sever ties with you, but Padraic can be clingy. Colm isn’t helping matters by threatening self-mutilation. Farrell and Gleason’s performances prevent these two from being unbearable. Farrell stands out by bringing a childlike eagerness and naivety that makes Padraic likeable.

At the same time, McDonagh regards these characters with empathy. He shows as much understanding for Padraic’s gratefulness for his simple life as he does with Colm’s need to create a legacy through his music.

Also, McDonagh does an excellent job of creating a sense of environment with the village. There’s also a strong sense of community in this village, with everyone knowing each other. There is also a unique set of personalities in this village, from the eccentric old Mrs. McCormick (Sheila Flitton) to the timid Dominic Kearney (Barry Keoghan). This simple area feels like a warm and inviting home many would like to live in.

The Banshees of Inisherin is a dark delight.

8) THE BATMAN

Who would have thought that there’d be a Batman movie that could pull off the feel of a David Fincher film? But Matt Reeves (along with co-writer Peter Craig) surprises the world with DC’s answer to Se7en and Zodiac. He brings the world a young Batman (Robert Pattison) in his second year who attracts the attention of the Riddler (Paul Dano), whose killing off key political figures in Gotham City. As he tries to get to the bottom of the Riddler’s murders, Batman comes to realize how corrupt Gotham’s world truly is and is forced to confront the sins of his father.

After two dark and gritty reboots of Batman and a post-pandemic world, this version really needed to impress. And it didn’t disappoint. Reeves delivers refreshing takes on every aspect of the iconic franchise. Gotham City has never looked seedier than it does in this film, with endless rain, decaying infrastructure and array of street gangs. This Batman we get is a young man who has let his Batman persona consume his life to the point where he barely has anything to do with Bruce Wayne.[2] But the most surprising update is the complete reinvention of The Riddler. This villain goes from being one of most mocked of Batman’s rogue’s gallery to being a Zodiac-like menace who seems to be constantly 10 steps ahead of everyone[3].

All these characters work because of the performances. Pattison proves himself a worthy Batman whether he’s interrogating Oswald (Colin Farrell) or taking down an army of muggers. Paul Dano weaponizes his everyman looks to hide an intimidating and sociopathic genius behind the green mask and distorted vocals. Farrell goes beyond the heavy makeup to create a ruthless, fast-talking version of the Penguin. Zoe Kravitz’ performance is probably the most comic accurate portrayal of Catwoman, especially when it comes to her dynamic with Batman. That’s not even getting into how Jeffrey Wright and Andy Serkis perfectly capturing the essences of Jim Gordon and Alfred respectively.

There’s also way more focus on the Detective aspect of Batman than in most versions. While we do see him in some kickass action scenes, for the most part, we see the World’s Greatest Detective use his sleuthing skills to solve the Riddler’s twisted riddles and investigate crime scenes. This brings more focus on the intrigue of the mystery.

And that score. That glorious musical score. Michael Giacchino delivers an epic, booming score worthy of joining the batman scores provided by Danny Elfman and Hans Zimmer.

It’s not a perfect movie. The biggest problem is the running time, which can lead to some dragging scenes that will be too much for some audiences. But the strengths of the film make up for these flaws. Here’s hoping Reeves keeps this up for the inevitable sequel.

Available on Crave

7) BOILING POINT

Writer/Director Philip Barantini seems to have taken a lesson from Uncut Gems on how to make a film feel like a relentless panic attack when he made Boiling Point; a tense drama about a stressed-out head chef (Stephen Graham) trying to get through the busiest night of the year.

Barantini and cinematographer Matthew Lewis make the risky move of shooting the whole film in a single take. It is easy for this to become gimmicky, but they use it effectively to emphasize how stressful it is to work in a restaurant. As the camera moves across the kitchen and into the dining area, it’s clear there’s no escape from the stress not even when head chef Andy Jones heads to his office to try and catch his breath. The rumbling of the kitchen as Andy sits alone in his desk makes it clear he has nowhere to hide.

Barantini also keeps the stress going by surrounding the environment with multiple clashes. The dishwasher’s upset that her replacement is hours late. The sous chefs and head waiter are at each other’s throats. Andy’s co-owner has invited a critic to dine with him. Barantini does an excellent job of balancing the multiple storylines within the short 92-minute screen time. He even manages to create some satisfying set ups and payoffs. One perfect example is a reoccurring arc with one chef whose constantly being told to roll up his sleeve. The revelation behind this arc with stay with you.

Boiling Point has a phenomenal cast who all deliver compelling performances as they scream over each other trying to get their point across. Usually typecast as the villain, Graham delivers his best performance as a man trying to keep it together while his life is going down the tubes. He makes you feel his hopelessness and overwhelming strain as he downs bottles of whisky, trying to get through the day. Even at his most self-destructive moments, you feel for him.

The result is a drama that does a better job of keeping the audience at the edge of their seat than most thrillers wished they could.

6) RRR

With the growing interest in Tollywood films, RRR makes the perfect gateway drug. Rarely in recent years has there been an action film so unapologetically epic as RRR, which has broken into the mainstream.

As with many Tollywood action films, Director S.S. Rajamouli, co-writers Vijayendra Prasad and Sai Madhave Burra along with the cast and crew take every element of the epic action flick and turn them all up to eleven. In a time when there is a call for more flawed, relatable protagonists in movies, RRR gives us a duel of superhuman action heroes performing impossible feats of agility. The opening scenes alone have rebel leader Komaram Bheem (NT Rama Rao Jr) chasing a wolf and a tiger and misguided soldier Alluri Sitarama Raju (Ram Charan Teja) leaping over a fence and fighting a whole crowd to capture one suspect. Let’s see the Fast and Furious franchise have its heroes leap over a bridge on a motorcycle or a horse and swing on a rope carrying the Indian flag to rescue a boy from a fire.

While there is a pressure for films to keep any messages nuanced and subtle, RRR serves as a three hour middle finger to the British Empire. That empire is embodied by the mustache twirling Scott and Catherine Buxton (Ray Stevenson and Alison Doody) who literally kidnap a little girl and kill the mother in the first scene. There would have been a danger of the villains being cringe, but Stevenson and Doody savour their villainy like a classic Disney villain. Even they get in on the over the top violence, with Mr. Buxton firing a machine gun while flying out a crashing car. It makes their downfall more satisfying.

If that isn’t enough, RRR also has musical numbers as epic as the action scenes. They manage to appear in the unlikeliest of moments like a motorcycle/horse race and one character being tortured with a whip. Most notable standout is a dance off between the heroes and one snobby British soldier.

But at its core, RRR is a story about a friendship between two men who don’t realize that one’s supposed to arrest the other and a tale about a tribal leader on a mission to rescue a little girl from rich captors. The fact this film makes us care about story and keep the audience hooked over its long screentime shows the power of this epic.

Available on Netflix

5) THE NORTHMAN

After taking the horror genre by storm with The Witch and The Lighthouse, writer/director Robert Eggers gives us something completely different with The Northman. In contrast to his previous low budget A24 arthouse horror flicks, Egger’s latest is a big budget epic historical action flick. It may be his most accessible film, but that doesn’t stop him from bringing his boundary pushing style into this film.

The Northman is Hamlet-like revenge tale of Almeth (Alexander Skarsgaard), a Viking prince who seeks vengeance on his uncle Fjolnier (Claes Bang) who kills his father King Aurvandil (Ethan Hawke) and marries his mother Queen Gudrun (Nicole Kidman). After years in exile, Prince Amleth disguises himself as a slave and enlists the help of an enchantress (Anya Taylor-Joy) to bring down the King Fjolnier the Brotherless.

Eggers brings a refreshing take on the Viking historical drama with his trademark style. Like his previous films, Eggers (along with his co-worker Sjon) goes out of his way to make his stories as historically accurate as possible. As a result, we get the ugliest side of the Viking life. The images of people in chains makes it clear that Amleth’s family owns slaves. When Amleth’s in exile, he joins a group of Vikings in pillaging and terrorizing innocent people. In one horrifying scene, those Vikings trap women and children in a cottage and burn it down. Keep in mind that the protagonist watches this happen.

What’s strange is that Eggers also includes fantastical moments that draws from Norse Mythology. The result is otherworldly imagery of Amleth meeting with the Seeress (Bjork). It doesn’t seem like this should work, but somehow these elements make strange bedfellows.

Unlike his previous films, Eggars doesn’t go for historically accuracy with the dialogue. As a result, the audience has a better grasp of what the characters are saying. The dialogue is still kind of Shakespearean but just enough to the characters are still easy to understand.

Of course, the action scenes are awesome with the blood and dismemberment you expect from an R-rated movie with Vikings. It leads to a most metal ending with Amleth and his uncle going head-to-head in a volcano in their birthday suits.

With this film bombing at the box office, it’s doubtful Eggers will ever have the means to make a film as epic as this one.

Available on Crave

4) GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S PINOCCHIO

2022 was the strange year where we got three Pinocchio movies in a row. After listening to Pauly Shore butcher lines and Disney butcher their original classic, most moviegoers knew Guillermo Del Toro’s stop motion version would be the best one by default. But even without the other two films, there would still be major anticipation for Del Toro’s first animated feature film. With his trademark fleshed out mythology, creative character designs and compelling storytelling, many expected him to perfectly capture the macabre tone of Carlo Collodi’s tale. What we got is a refreshing take on the classic take on the wooden boy who longs to be a real boy.

Del Toro (alongside codirector Mark Gustafson and co-writers Patrick McHale and Matthew Robbins) perfectly balances capturing the story’s dark tone and core storyline while changing many elements of the story. This Pinocchio (Gregory Mann) is a lot closer to the disobedient troublemaker of the original story than Disney’s sweet but gullible character. Like Collodi’s tale, this story has our hero causing grief for his creator/father Geppetto (David Bradley), being led astray by crooks and trouble making teens only to suffer the repercussions before the climax of trying to escape from inside the whale. It even includes both the Christian undertones of the original story and even its dark comedy (among them a reoccurring gag of Sebastian the Cricket (Ewan McGregor) constantly being squashed.) It also borrows a bit from the Disney version with the Blue Fairy (Tilda Swinton) bringing the puppet to life and the cricket trying to guide him.

But this film also makes a lot of changes from the original story. First, Del Toro sets the film in Italy during Mussolini’s reign. Not only does this fit into Del Toro’s reoccurring theme of life under fascism, but it brings nuance to the original story’s message of obeying your parents. While the film does have Pinocchio deal with consequences for misbehaving, the film also shows the dangers of blinding obeying those in power and makes the case that disobedience is necessary when it involves doing the right thing. The film also fleshes out the characters to bring complexity. While Pinocchio is still a disobedient troublemaker, he also has his heart in the right place and will stick up for others. Geppetto is a broken man grieving the loss of his dead son Carlo (also Mann). Sebastian is a wannabe writer who makes his home in Pinocchio’s chest. Del Toro also brings in an array of unique characters from ruthless ringmaster Count Volpe (Christoph Walz) to terrifying fascist enforcer Podesta (Ron Pearlman). All the actors do excellent jobs of making their characters engaging, especially Mann.

Co-Director Mark Gustafson perfectly brings Del Toro’s trademark style into the animation world, resulting in some unique visuals. Pinocchio has never looked more wooden with spiky wooden hair, tiny black dotted eyes, and multiple nails in his back. The Blue fairy aka the wood sprite (also Swinton) is this otherworldly blend of Hari Krishna and a mermaid. Death is this sphinxlike creature in a world of blue sand. What’s most notable is how the settings and character design resemble classic storybook illustrations come to life.

The film is also a musical, with songs created by composer Alexandre Desplat alongside Del Toro and lyricist Roeban Katz. The old timey style perfectly serves to further the narrative and reveal more about the characters, but they don’t stand out the way Encanto’s songs did. The one exception is “Ciao Papa.” When Pinocchio pours his heart out to his long distant father, you can feel that longing so much it may bring you to tears.

No wonder many see this as the front runner for the Best Animated Feature Oscar.

Available on Netflix

3) AFTERSUN

Most filmmakers try to make their films memorable. Aftersun is a rare film that feels like a memory.

On the surface, it’s a simple story of a single Dad (Paul Mescal) and his daughter (Frankie Corio) taking a trip to a Turkish beachside resort. There is no real plot. No central conflict. It’s just segments of a father and daughter on vacation. At least, that’s what it seems like at first. Hidden in plain sight are signs of the father hiding some personal pain from his daughter.

In her debut feature, writer/director Charlotte Wells takes us into segments of this vacation, even replaying some moments on camcorder. The result is a film that feels like we’re entering the daughter’s memories as she tries to understand her father.

The strength of Wells’ filmmaking is how she avoids the temptation to dramatize any element of the plot in favour of making it as naturalistic as possible. Never does she make it clear what the dad’s going through. You only get the most subtle of hints. She only applies any artistry with the ending that will stay in your mind long after the credits roll.

That’s helped by the performances by the two leads. Mescal and Corio bounce off each other perfectly, making us believe they are an actual family. They both also maintain low key naturalization throughout the film.

Put all these together and you get an unassuming drama that stays with you long after the credits roll.

2) (TIE) BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND, GOLDEN DELICIOUS AND YOU WILL LIVE FOREVER

I admit that I have a habit of putting ties in my lists, not helped by me including a three-way tie in this one. But these 3 films have so much in common that I felt they deserve to be put together. Well, that and these are probably the least known films on this list, and I feel they deserve more attention.

All three are Canadian films centered on LBGT teens who move into new locations, which leads to developing deep relationships. They’re similar yet different. The most important commonality are the compelling stories of relatable, flawed young people trying to fit into their world and figure out what they really want in life in the process.

First, we have Before I Change My Mind. Set in 1987, the movie centres on Robin (Vaughn Murrae), a non-binary preteen who moves to a small Albertan town from the US with their father (Matthew Rankin). There are of course questions from the students what Robin’s gender is. To fit in, Robin tries to befriend the school bully Carter (Dominic Lippa). On one hand, it makes it easier for Robin to form friends. On the other, it leads to Robin making misguided decisions.

Director Trevor Anderson and co-writer Fish Griwkowsky capture the everyday life of preteens as they make snide comments during music class, pick fights with each other and just hanging around in the living room. What makes this film special is how it captures the difficulties of being a preteen. Robin and their classmates try their best to fit in with their peers. Sometimes it can be found in healthy activities like hanging around in the mall. Other times it comes from misguided decisions including sneaking into their parents alcohol or in one student’s case, completely changing his personality after being bullied.

The film also captures the frustration of dealing with emerging emotions you have no understanding of and now healthy means of channeling them. That’s especially true with Robin who has no idea of their own gender identity since non-binary wasn’t a common term in the 80s. As a result, they become targets for fellow classmates who keep demanding to know if they are a boy or a girl.. Being non-binary themselves, Murrae makes the audience feel how lost Robin feels. Anderson and Griwkowsky do an excellent job of using subtext to capture this feeling. And they never offer any easy answers.

There are also some funny moments in the film. When gym class separates the boys and girls, Robin sits in the middle. Robin and Carter try to convince a drag queen (dressed like Madonna) to buy them beers. But the comedic high point is the school’s disastrous rock musical rip-off of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Next, we have Golden Delicious. Jake (Cardi Wong) seemed to be living the perfect teen life as a basketball player whose relationship with his girlfriend Valerie (Parmiss Sehat) is popular on social media. But he finds his life turned upside down when new student Aleks (Chris Carson) moves next door. As Jake and Aleks both train for the basketball team, Jake is forced to confront the pressure his father George (Ryan Mah) places on him.

Director Jason Karman (through Gorrman Lee’s screenplay) channels his youth to capture the pressure of having to live up to expectations. Jake tries his best to please his father, despite not being the best skilled in the team. Georges’s pressure is embodied by the old, decaying basketball hoop he forces Jake to practice on. Through Aleks, Jake’s confronted with the fact that he has never learned to live for himself.

Lee also fleshes out Jake’s family, who is dealing with their own pressure. George and his wife Andrea (Leeah Wong) are trying to keep their Chinese restaurant afloat, but the stress of running the restaurant has taken its toll on Andrea. When their daughter Janet (Claudia Kai) discusses her interest in being a chef, Andrea tries to forbid her. Janet has her own arc where Janet tries to create her late grandma’s dishes. This family feels so achingly human and relatable.

Of course, there’s excellent chemistry between Wong and Carson as their characters build from a friendship into a relationship.

And finally, we have You Can Live Forever. Rebellious teen Jaime (Anwen O’Driscoll) is forced to live with her aunt Beth (Liane Balaban) while her mother recollects herself after her husband’s death. Beth is a Jehovah’s Witness whose husband Francois (Antoine Yared) hopes to be the leader of his congregation. While being forced to attend sermons, Jaime develops a friendship with fellow devout Marike (June Laporte). Soon that develops into something more, which is risky in a homophobic fringe community.

A romantic film like these lives and dies on the chemistry between the leads. When two leads have such differing personalities/worldviews, it’s very important that the two leads have convincing chemistry for the relationship to make sense. O’Driscoll and Laporte pull that off beautifully, conveying a warm intimacy between Jaime and Marike as they hide in plain sight with little intimate gestures. It helps that both actresses make their characters feel like real people. O’Driscoll portrays Jaime as a typical teen whose big glasses and grunge wardrobe hides a slightly rebellious teen frustrated at being stuck in a situation outside of her control. Laporte makes Marike a timid girl devoted to her religion yet forms an infatuation with Jaime. Writer/Directors Mark Slutsky and Sarah Watts avoid the temptation of melodrama in favour of grounded empathy. They allow us to understand what Marike finds in her faith while showing how it can be stifling for Jaime.

All three deliver achingly human stories of young people trying to find what they truly want in life.

1) EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

In a time when franchises consume movie theatres, Everything, Everywhere All at Once came out of nowhere to deliver an everything bagel the zeitgeist can sink its teeth into.

Evelyn (Michelle Yeoh) finds herself dissatisfied with her life as a struggling Laundromat owner, further aggravated by her goofball husband Waymond (Ke Huy Quan), her contentious relationship with her daughter Joy (Stephanie Hsu) and her overly critical father (James Hong). If that wasn’t bad enough, she’s being audited by the IRS, forcing her to deal with an austere IRS agent (Jamie Lee Curtis). Suddenly, Evelyn finds Waymond possessed by an alternate version of himself and Evelyn’s tasked with saving multiple universes from the mysterious and all powerful villain known as Jobu.

The Dynamic Duo of Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert already proved their originality with their music video Turn Down for What and their feature film debut Swiss Army Man. Who would have thought they could create an existential tale of a mother daughter relationship involving googly eyes, hot dog fingers and a ratatouille parody?

As you expect from the Daniel’s previous works, it delivers on the weird and hilarious imagery (often involving leud objects). One minute, Waymond is gluing googly eyes on everything, and the next he’s taking down security guards with a fanny pack. That’s just one of many examples of the creative and well-choreographed fights scenes the Daniel’s have in store for the viewers. Only they could image fight scenes either involving Waymond intentionally giving himself paper cuts or henchmen trying to shove a trophy up where the sun don’t shine.

With moments like these, you would never expect anything profound in the film. And yet, the Daniels somehow balances these silly moments with deep, philosophical themes. Evelyn comes to realize how the little choices she made in life can have major outcomes after glimpsing versions of herself as a famous actress, a kung fu artist and a chef. Her journey also forces her to reexamine her perceptions of her husband and reconcile her relationship with her daughter. The battle between Evelyn and Jobu shows how perception can alter how one handles the meaningless of life. It’s surprising how deep this film can get.

The result is a cinematic miracle that delivers a truly unique experience.

Available on Prime Video

[1] When Colm threatens to cut off his fingers if Padraic talks to him again, you know a finger’s going to come off at some point.

[2] So consumed that he only has around 3-4 scenes as Bruce Wayne. It’s funny. In his Godzilla reboot, he barely showed the iconic monster on screen. For The Batman, we get all the caped crusader we could ever want.

[3][3] He also seems to be doing a better job of getting rid of corruption than Batman is.

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fatedevour · 4 months

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♢ — Anonymous said: the new batch of recruits wants to hear what the doctor has to say to welcome them

UNPROMPTED ASKS: ALWAYS ACCEPTING!

What a tedious process he’s forced to endure. BUT it was one of the few non-negotiable duties any Harbinger had to perform when there were new recruits to be welcomed. They were required to give a speech to new recruits, and although in SNEZHNAYA it was often one of the other Harbingers who delivered them, anywhere else it was the duty of the nearest Harbinger. How unlucky of him. A cold eye glances over the newest recruits from beneath his mask. Most of them didn’t look like they’d make it very far. No matter, it wasn’t HIS problem. He just had to give this ridiculous speech.

“ TODAY is the day you begin to uphold the oath you have sworn to Her Majesty the Tsaritsa and to the nation of Snezhnaya. Your actions all reflect HER. Every word, every step, every moment from when you don your uniform and make it known who you are, you are first and foremost a representation of her Majesty and ALL the Fatui. So if you act a FOOL, you are not just a disgrace to yourself and to your family, but also a disgrace to the Tsaritsa and your new home. Those who stand beside you are your new place of belonging. They are who you will fight and live beside. THEY come first for the sake of Her Majesty. “

Frankly it was all quite NAUSEATING to say such words. But most people were sheep and cattle, and it was the shepherds and wolves who kept them moving and acting as wanted by guiding hand or the snapping of hungry teeth. The speeches were supposed to foster a sense of CAMARADERIE between the people. ( How efficient it is, The Doctor has no idea since it's dull to him. ) And unlike the headache inducing eloquence of Pantalone’s rambling speeches, this needed no pointless frills and obscure terms that would merely be perplexing at best to the common folk. Simple and efficient was sometimes the IDEAL way to approach these matters.

“ Her Majesty expects the BEST from you. You must be ruthless, adaptable, meticulous, and loyal to the cause. You are now a part of the great power of the Fatui. Your past no longer matters, but it is the future that you must gaze upon and give your everything for. Your successes will be rewarded amongst not just your peers, but if you strive hard enough, you may even be granted the privilege of Her Majesty's direct approval and grace. "

Dottore watches the NAIVE OPTIMISM flood through the crowd of new recruits, the hopeful gasps and glittering eyes. He estimates SIXTY PERCENT will survive the year but only one or two will be TRULY talented. Dottore could change this - but such is not HIS responsibility unless he's told otherwise. He's happy to give this inane speech and never see any of them again unless they happen to be of use to him.

" This is your role, your HONOR, to being a Fatui. Do you understand? " Dottore raises his voice, hands clasped behind his back as he stares over them. When they all speak in unison ( Yes Sir! ) he gives a curt nod. " You will receiver further instructions in the next day. Remember, you are now a Fatui. Hold yourselves with pride and determination. Dismissed! "

Once they have all disappeared, Dottore gives an IRRITATED sigh to himself. " How that BANKER enjoys such tasks as this, I will never comprehend. My time is far more VALUABLE than to be wasted on something like that. "

#Anonymous #the fact dottore has had to give these recruitement speeches #at SOME point is both terrifying and hilarious #he hates them sO MUCH #also so sorry to the anon who had to wait for me to answer this #i hope you are around to enjoy this #♢ — ❛ he whom ushers in your darkest hour ❜ ( ic )

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skenvs3000w23 · 1 year

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Amazing things in Nature!

Nature continues to amaze us daily, by constantly adapting to the changing world around us. One amazing thing I know about nature is bioluminescence, it’s one of the most eye-catching things I have seen myself. While vacationing, I had the privilege of seeing bioluminescence on the beach while in the Caribbean. The water lights up beautifully as you run your feet through it, and the mechanisms behind how the water lights up is even more interesting. The bioluminescence we see is essentially a chemical reaction produced by living organisms, and involves luciferin (the light), and luciferase (the catalyst) (Bedolfe, 2012). The luciferase combines luciferin with oxygen to oxidise it, which creates oxyluciferin, and photons. The light we see is the result of the chemical reaction usually occurring in the organism, but it does not always occur inside it (Bedolfe, 2012). When I ran my hands through the water and disrupted the waves, the organisms present, called dinoflagellates, produce light as a defense mechanism (Aguilera, 2015). Here is a picture below of bioluminscence in action at night!

Image Credits: Alvaro Bejarano

An interesting fact I learned while diving more into this topic is that it only takes 15 milliseconds for the dinoflagellates to respond to stimuli! (Aguilera, 2015). It is extremely fascinating to think that the pretty glow I observed in the water was actually a warning from the dinoflagellates. It is also known that high levels of algal bloom are actually harmful to humans, and exposure to these phytoplanktons can cause skin irritation, and cause negative effects on ecosystems (Powell, 2022). There are different colours of bioluminescence that we can see, personally, I have seen a mix of green and blue light being produced. Another event caused by bioluminescent organisms are red tides, which are rare but can be seen more often now due to climate change. Red tides are lasting longer due to temperature changes, water pollutants, as well as severe weather events (Powell, 2022). I have never seen a red tide, but this picture below shows how they can appear to us, and it looks a little similar to an oil spill!

Image Credits: M. Godfrey, 2006

Red tides are made of the same bioluminescent algal blooms that are responsible for the pretty green colours we see as well (Powell, 2022). It is important that we understand the importance of acknowledging events such as red tides, as these are natural warning signs from nature. Humans have a tendency to overlook a lot of unusual events in nature, which eventually can lead to disastrous climate change that is non-reversible. I enjoy seeing the beauty in nature, especially bioluminescence, and to conserve these organisms and keep our algae levels at health levels, it's important to take care of our oceans. Can you name other species that also use bioluminescence?

References

Aguilera, M. C. (2015, May 5). Research highlight: The force behind Nature's light. Scripps Institution of Oceanography. Retrieved from https://scripps.ucsd.edu/news/research-highlight-force-behind-natures-light#:~:text=Dinoflagellates%20employ%20bioluminescence%20as%20a,as%20a%20type%20of%20alarm

Bedolfe, S. (2012, December 26). Ocean stemulation: How does bioluminescence work? One World One Ocean. Retrieved from https://oneworldoneocean.com/blog/ocean-stemulation-bioluminescence-how-does-it-work/

Powell, J. (2022, February 10). Bioluminescence - beautiful or dangerous? Gair Rhydd. Retrieved from http://cardiffstudentmedia.co.uk/gairrhydd/bioluminescence-beautiful-or-dangerous/

#bioluminescence #redtides

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aruwanna · 10 months

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Top 13 lesson learned from book -13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.

1. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves. Instead, they take responsibility for their own lives and understand that life isn't always fair. For example, if they face a setback, they focus on finding a solution rather than dwelling on self-pity.

2. They don't give away their power. They don't let others control them or dictate their emotions. They know that they have control over their own actions and reactions. For instance, instead of blaming their boss for a bad day, they choose to respond in a positive and constructive manner.

3. They don't shy away from change. Mentally strong people embrace change and remain adaptable. They understand that change is a part of life and are open to new opportunities. For example, if a new job opportunity arises, they are willing to consider it and explore the possibilities.

4. They don't waste energy on things they can't control. They focus on what they can control in their lives, such as their attitudes and actions. For instance, instead of getting frustrated over a traffic jam, they choose to listen to a podcast or enjoy the time to think.

5. They don't worry about pleasing everyone. Mentally strong individuals recognize that they can't make everyone happy all the time. They prioritize their own well-being and set boundaries when necessary. For example, they may decline an invitation if it conflicts with their personal priorities.

6. They don't fear taking calculated risks. While they don't engage in reckless behavior, they are willing to take well-considered risks. They weigh the potential benefits and drawbacks before making important decisions. For instance, before starting a new business, they thoroughly research and plan to minimize risks.

7. They don't dwell on the past. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes or longing for what could have been, mentally strong people focus on the present and future. They learn from their past experiences but don't let them define their lives. For example, they may reflect on a failed project to identify lessons learned and apply them to future endeavors.

8. They don't repeat the same mistakes. Mentally strong individuals take responsibility for their actions and learn from their past mistakes. They make conscious efforts to avoid repeating those same errors. For instance, if they made a poor financial decision in the past, they educate themselves and seek professional advice to make better choices in the future.

9. They don't resent other people's success. Mentally strong people can genuinely celebrate the success of others without feeling envious or bitter. They understand that success is earned through hard work and are motivated to achieve their own goals. For example, instead of being jealous of a colleague's promotion, they congratulate them and focus on their own professional growth.

10. They don't give up after the first failure. Failure doesn't discourage mentally strong individuals; it motivates them to improve. They see failure as an opportunity for growth and keep persevering until they succeed. For instance, if they face rejection in a job application, they use it as a chance to enhance their skills and try again.

11. They don't fear being alone. Mentally strong people are comfortable with solitude and can use it productively. They appreciate the value of quiet reflection and enjoy their own company. For example, they might use alone time to read, meditate, or work on personal projects.

12. They don't feel entitled. Mentally strong individuals don't expect the world to owe them anything. They understand that they have to work hard and earn what they desire. For instance, they actively seek opportunities based on their abilities rather than relying on handouts or privileges.

13. They don't expect immediate results. Whether it's personal growth or professional endeavors, mentally strong people know that real change takes time and effort. They are patient and persistent in pursuing

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virat1234 · 9 months

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The Globalized Travel Experience: Door-to-Door Luggage Delivery Services Transforming the Way We Journey

In an era characterized by unparalleled connectivity and interdependence, the concept of globalization has revolutionized the way we live, work, and even travel. As individuals and businesses span the globe, the need for efficient and seamless services has become more crucial than ever. One area where this globalization effect is evident is in the realm of travel, where the evolution of luggage delivery services has redefined the way we explore new horizons.

Globalization and the Changing Face of Travel Logistics

Globalization has erased borders and transformed the world into a closely interconnected network. Air travel, once a luxury accessible to a privileged few, is now a common means of traversing continents and cultures. This heightened mobility has led to an increased demand for services that cater to the needs of globe-trotting adventurers and business professionals alike. This is where the concept of door-to-door luggage delivery services enters the scene.

Empowering the Traveler: The Role of Door-to-Door Luggage Delivery

Imagine embarking on a journey without the burden of dragging heavy suitcases through crowded airports or fretting over lost baggage. The convenience of door-to-door deliver luggage services is a testament to the power of globalization in action. Here’s how these services are transforming the travel experience:

1. Seamless Booking: Thanks to the wonders of the internet, travelers can easily book door-to-door luggage delivery services online. This process transcends geographical boundaries, allowing you to arrange for your luggage courier door pickup from virtually anywhere in the world.

2. Global Courier Networks: Luggage delivery providers leverage expansive global courier networks to ensure that your belongings reach your destination with ease. Your luggage is entrusted to reputable couriers who are well-versed in navigating the complexities of international travel.

3. Borderless Convenience: Whether you’re exploring the bustling streets of Tokyo or enjoying the sun-kissed beaches of Miami, your luggage is in good hands. These services operate seamlessly across international borders, eliminating the need for you to worry about customs regulations or documentation.

4. Catering to Diverse Needs: Business travelers, vacationers, and even students studying abroad all benefit from the convenience of door-to-door luggage delivery. The service adapts to your specific needs, ensuring that you can focus on your journey without being weighed down by baggage concerns.

5. Environmental Impact: In a world increasingly conscious of environmental sustainability, door-to-door luggage delivery services can contribute to reducing the carbon footprint associated with traditional luggage transport methods.

The Future of Travel: Embracing Convenience and Connectivity

As globalization continues to shape our world, the travel industry evolves in tandem, providing innovative solutions that cater to the needs of a globalized society. Door-to-door luggage delivery services exemplify this evolution, empowering travelers to embrace the journey itself rather than being preoccupied with logistical challenges.

In this interconnected world, the convenience, reliability, and efficiency offered by these delivery pick up service resonate deeply with the principles of globalization. As we navigate a landscape where the boundaries between nations blur and opportunities abound, the transformation of travel logistics serves as a beacon of the possibilities that arise when we harness the power of a connected planet. So, the next time you set out on a new adventure, consider leaving the delivery of your luggage to the experts — it’s a step towards embracing the globalized travel experience of tomorrow.

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smallnetbusiness · 10 months

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Free Streaming Of Movies And Tv Shows With Flixhq

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#Flixhq

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soul-dwelling · 3 years

Note

Have you heard something about Ohkubo being racist? I saw some twitter links, which due to personal reasons I cant check for myself, but otherwise couldnt find anything on.

Shared September 18, 2021

I've sat on this question for a long time, and yet my answer will still be incomplete. As I am white, I want to be aware of the white privilege I have, and I anticipate I am going to give a response that fails to address certain topics and concerns--and is just going to be flat-out wrong in a lot of parts. I anticipate I will get things wrong below, I don't like that, but I want to be open to reading more and figuring out what I'm getting wrong so I can fix what I get wrong. And I want to learn from any responses I receive--so I encourage any responses, and I will read and consider them.

At the time when I received this question, I was not aware of any Twitter links regarding accusations of Ohkubo being racist. Despite being a huge fan of Soul Eater, this was something I was unaware of, and I was purposefully ignoring--because I was ignoring any discourse around Fire Force, not around Ohkubo or Soul Eater in general. While I have followed what Soul Eater stuff is out there, I have purposefully avoided a lot of Fire Force content since the anime was announced--including muting any Fire Force stuff on Twitter. While I do not regret avoiding Fire Force stuff (there is only so much annoyance I can take from that franchise), I do regret overlooking this discussion around racism in Ohkubo’s works, I regret that, and I apologize for overlooking it right now--and in the past.

Because I have overlooked racist elements in Ohkubo’s prior works, including in Soul Eater, including on this very blog. I don’t think apologizing is enough, and I am determining what steps I can take to handle this better--and that starts with acknowledging the racist elements in his works. I think some have unfortunate implications that need to be debated.

For example, one Twitter remark I read asked why the South American meister had to be Enrique instead of a human. (And, I anticipate, how that leads to its own set of unfortunate implications, associating being from South America to being a monkey, regardless Tezca, his visual conceit, and his powers being derived from, not South American cultures only or exactly, but from Aztec and indigenous Mexican cultures.) I don’t think adding Enrique as a meister is bad, when the joke works; I think adding Enrique, and not more South American human characters, is a problem, and when your one South American meister is a non-human animal, when no other meister in the series, especially of a Death Scythe, has been a non-human animal, this is going to stick out and be offensive. I have seen and written stories with animals as meisters to weapon partners; it is a great idea, having Enrique be that character is great, but it is a missed opportunity that erases a spot where a person of South American could have been. Having Tezca as one such South American person helps, but again, this is a missed opportunity.

As an aside, this also opens up unfortunate implications to having Black Star being mistaken by Liz as a monkey, given headcanon I’ve seen from fans about Black Star’s identity with regard to Japanese ethnicities and the fact that Black Star does have dark skin.

And another set of Twitter remarks focused on the stylized designs to the band playing at the DWMA Anniversary Party (and here). Regardless whether stylization was used on white characters in that scene, the stylization on the Black characters who were performing in the band is drawing upon a history of racist images (the lips on drummer and cellist) and is racist. I’ll get to this later, but I agree with this remark that it’s bizarre that Ohkubo did this despite what he has done well with inclusiveness amongst his cast. And like I’ll also say later, it’s like me sitting here thinking “How could he do so well at writing a girl lead like Maka in an action series, then fail so badly writing Tamaki in his follow-up series?” My pathetic answer is that no creator is perfect, they make mistakes--and it becomes infuriating when they screw up so badly and don’t seem to learn from that screw-up, don’t show regret, don’t fix what they broke, and don’t improve. I’ve ranted enough here on this blog that I don’t think Ohkubo has grown with his audience: I think he keeps making the same immature mistakes (immature in terms of his craft, immature as well in terms of his humor).

And since I did bring up the monkey remarks about Enrique and Black Star, there are the major sets of discourse around racism in Ohkubo’s works, that being Maka referring to Sid, who is Black, as a gorilla (not to mention “thuggish”), and Shinra in Fire Force referring to Charon, who has dark skin, as a gorilla.

Regardless the excuses made (“racism in Japan is not the same as racism elsewhere”--which, no, fuck that, people globally including in Japan know the racist associations made where being Black or brown is associated by racists with non-human primates), I don’t get why no one, from Ohkubo to his editors to distributors to audiences including me, do not say more about this racist detail.

And I don’t get why no editor or localization staff bothered to change it. I have not sat through the Fire Force dub, but I hope someone working at localization changed the line. (It’s one thing to change a subtitled line and avoid something offensive at the cost of accuracy in translation, including accurately translating content even when it’s awful, or else you’re just covering up for the awfulness in the original work. But it’s another thing to not revise the line for dubbing, when you should have more flexibility in that kind of adaptation.)

(And that’s not getting into casting white actors as Black characters in the Soul Eater dub, but I hope I can address that another time with more depth should Soul Eater ever get a continuation or a re-dub...which, given how enough of the original dub cast have fucked over their careers and revealed their abusiveness and toxic bullshit in their personal lives, either a new anime or a new dub sounds good right about now.)

The responses to this criticism have been to rightly point out that Ohkubo does include numerous varied portrayals of Black characters (also here and here and here), drawing upon Black identities from the United States and Africa, especially for characters like Kilik and Ogun. But, me personally, pointing out what is done well does not negate what is done badly. (And yes, just because I think Maka Albarn is a great representation of a girl character in shonen doesn’t negate how Ohkubo fucked up with Chapter 113 and all of Tamaki in Fire Force).

As a creator, you’re supposed to fix what you did wrong, you don’t distract from what you did wrong by doing something else well later. You fix the character in front of you, not only make new characters and let that distract the audience from what you did wrong. You fix Sid (which, for me, means some potential adjustments to character design and not calling him a freaking gorilla); you don’t distract by creating Kilik and Ogun. You fix Tamaki (give her more to do, don’t make every joke around fanservice, stop fucking sexualizing a 17-year-old); you don’t distract by pointing to Maka or Maki. That’d be like me excusing something I did wrong in one set of responsibilities by asking you to look at something good I did: that doesn’t fix what I did wrong by mistake. Asking people to “leave the medium” is not helping: this is a debate, you get to watch something, you get to decide for yourself whether you think something is racist or misread, I’m not up for gatekeeping people to block them from either criticizing something or enjoying something.

And while your enjoyment of something can reflect on your values (if you keep liking jokes calling Sid a gorilla, what does that say about you?), I said “can,” not “does,” it is by context and debate (you can enjoy slasher movies without being a serial killer, etc).

I wish I had something more meaningful to say, and I don’t like that I don’t. I want to be a better ally, but just being aware that there are racist elements to this series, and just stating awareness, is not sufficient for me. It’s one reason why my focus is on uplifting fan content that does far better at handling inclusiveness and representation in this series. But my focus has been on representations of gender in the series--and that is my fault for not doing more to focus on representations of race and ethnicity, and I wish my apology would be enough, and it’s not, so I’m trying to figure out what I can do that is better. I will read feedback to do better.

#soul eater #atsushi ohkubo #fire force #sid barett #kilik rung #enrique

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rainbowsky · 3 years

Note

I feel like it would be better if everyone could just concentrate more on the projects GGDD are bringing out ( SDC and OOL for example) and less on political issues that's out of our hands. More of that positive engagement is what we need

If you prefer to look away from politics that is your right, but that's not something you have the right to ask of others. Especially considering that I tag every political post that I make, so there's no excuse for people seeing things they don't want to see (if you want to avoid political posts from my blog you can filter the "your political disengagement is a weapon against you" tag).

You have created a false dichotomy here anyway, because people are focusing on both. People are enjoying and loving GG and DD and their projects, while reflecting on politics surrounding them.

I believe personally that in order to have a truly balanced and healthy perspective on GGDD one must do both. However, not everybody is up for that emotionally or psychologically, and that's totally fine too.

I'm going to go over some points that I made about this topic a while back. This is a slightly revised version of what I've said in the past. I hope after reading this, Anon, you can understand why I don't find the approach you've proposed acceptable.

“BXG should stay away from politics”

While I understand some people get involved in fandom strictly for the enjoyment and escape, I don’t think it’s appropriate for those people to try to dictate how others approach things. As a politically-minded person, the idea of ‘staying away from politics’ - especially the idea of pressuring others to stay away from politics - goes against some of my most deeply held values.

There are also some fairly glaring problems with the idea that BXG should stay out of political discussions.

1] Making it socially unacceptable to care about politics is a means of ensuring people remain uninvested in what happens in the world.

‘Politics’ is a word that is often used to emotionally distance people from things that directly impact them. Labeling social issues as ‘politics’ and then making 'politics’ a dirty word is a psychologically manipulative practice that frames important, life-changing issues as tedious, negative and inappropriate pursuits. People might as well be saying, “Don’t trouble yourself with how the world is run, with how people treat each other, with what you’re allowed to do, say or think, with who is in charge of things or what decisions and actions they impose upon others.”

How convenient for the powers-that-be. How convenient for the status quo. A population that has a distaste for 'politics’ has a distaste for concerning themselves with their own interests. A population that has a distaste for politics will not only avoid thinking about how things are run, they will dissuade - often vociferously - other people from thinking or talking about those things as well.

When you make it socially unacceptable to think about issues that matter, you ensure that the people will never really question what’s happening, or demand change. You will ensure that people do not inform themselves or reflect on and develop their own ideas and values. You will ensure that people who try to stand up for themselves in a broader way will have little support, and will face bullying and stigmatization for their efforts.

2] Disinterest in politics reflects a level of privilege a lot of people don’t have.

When an issue of injustice comes up and someone’s response is, “I don’t want to talk about politics,” or “Let’s try to stay away from politics” in a very real way the message they are communicating to others is, “Whatever is happening to those people, I don’t care. My conversational discomfort in this moment is more important than the injustices those people are dealing with.”

The fact is, our actions and choices are inherently political. They reflect and often reinforce the sociopolitical structures we live within. The purchasing decisions we make, the media we consume, the ideas and policies we legitimize via our behavior - all of these things are political whether we know it or not.

The big difference between thinking of ourselves as political and thinking of ourselves as not political is that apolitical people are able to move through sociopolitical structures completely unconsciously, while others don’t have that luxury. Poor people, racialized people, immigrants, targeted minorities - none of these people have the luxury of ‘not caring about politics’. Their lives often depend on being deeply invested in what happens in the public and private sphere.

If you’re able to ‘not be interested’ in politics then you are a fortunate person indeed.

To people faced with injustice and inequality, politics can often be a question of their very right to exist, let alone thrive, in this world.

3] Editing politics out of discussions about GG and DD is a lot like erasing their queerness. It adapts them into a narrative that, while it may feel good for some fans, isn’t real.

It may make some fans more comfortable to edit out the parts of this fandom that are confusing or unsettling, but fans who prefer their perspective to be balanced and based on reality will just have to accept that this fandom will sometimes force us to reflect on things that aren’t so pleasant.

GG and DD are living under an authoritarian regime. They are frequently called upon to perform and present propagandistic ideas and projects. All of this just goes with the territory. If we refuse to explore and understand the political elements surrounding GG and DD we will be missing important context about them and and their lives.

The politics are relevant to the fandom. They are relevant to what we discuss, how and why. They are an inextricable element of GG and DD’s lives, and that necessarily makes them an inextricable element of any meaningful discussion of them and what they do.

4] If you share their propaganda posts and projects, you ARE being political.

I really feel the need to point out this obvious fact, because there appear to be some people who really don’t get it. GG and DD’s propaganda posts and projects are inherently political.

It is hypocritical and unreasonable to spread that propaganda and then tell people not to discuss it.

Having said all of that, there are simple ways to co-exist even if we disagree.

There are a lot of reasons why people participate in fandoms, and not everyone is in a mental or emotional place where they want to be exposed to political discussions, which can be stressful. Fandom can be a form of escapism, and a way to enjoy something light and fluffy without having too look too closely at the cracks in the facade.

That is a perfectly legitimate position to take on things, and people who don’t want to take part should be free to filter those things out of their feeds. Tagging political or stressful posts is a must.

However, what isn’t legitimate is telling other people that they shouldn’t be thinking about it or discussing it, or claiming that it doesn’t belong in the fandom. Respect needs to work both ways, and space needs to be given for people to pursue fandom in the ways that work best for them.

BXG are a broad category of people with a broad range of interests, motivations and needs. It is possible for all of this diversity to harmoniously coexist, but that means respecting each other and working together. Tagging posts that we know some fans would rather not see is one excellent way of doing this. And that includes tagging posts that contain propaganda messages or projects, which can be offensive or triggering for people who have grown up under authoritarian regimes.

***

I also want to add a personal note here.

There are a lot of troubling things happening right now. A lot of people are feeling unsettled about it. One of the main ways in which people process and come to terms with difficult experiences is through talking about it and exchanging ideas with other people who care. It would be a huge disservice to a lot of fans who are struggling with what's happening to say, "You're not allowed to think or talk about this. Let's focus on other things."

One of the primary purposes of my blog from day one has always been to try to be supportive, particularly of marginalized people or people who are dealing with adversity. I want my blog to always be a place where people can feel safe to talk about the things that are on their mind.

#your political disengagement is a weapon against you #brotherhood and stuff #bxg perpectives #fandom reflections #ask

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gwynsplainer · 3 years

Text

On The Grinning Man and the De-Politicization of L'Homme Qui Rit (a Spontaneous Essay)

Since I watched The Grinning Man I’ve been meaning to write a post comparing it to The Man Who Laughs but I have a lot of opinions and analysis I wanted to do so I have been putting it off for ages. So here goes! If I were to make a post where I explain everything the musical changes it would definitely go over the word limit, so I’ll mostly stick to the thematic. Let me know if that’s a post you’d like to see, though!

Ultimately, The Grinning Man isn’t really an adaptation of the Man Who Laughs. It keeps some of the major plot beats (a disfigured young man with a mysterious past raised by a man and his wolf to perform to make a living alongside the blind girl he rescued from the snow, restored to his aristocratic past by chance after their show is seen by Lord David and Duchess Josiana, and the interference of the scheming Barkilphedro…. well, that’s just about it). The problem I had with the show, however, wasn’t the plot points not syncing up, it was the thematic inconsistency with the book. By replacing the book’s antagonistic act—the existence of a privileged ruling class—with the actions of one or two individuals from the lower class, transforming the societal tragedy into a revenge plot, and reducing the pain of dehumanization and abuse to the pain of a physical wound, The Grinning Man is a sanitized, thematically weak failure to adapt The Man Who Laughs.

I think the main change is related to the reason I posit the book never made it in the English-speaking world. The musical was made in England, the setting of the book which was so critical of its monarchy, it’s aristocracy, and the failings of its society in ways that really haven’t been remedied so far. It might be a bit of a jump to assume this is connected, but I have evidence. They refer to it as a place somewhat like our own, but change King James to King Clarence, and Queen Anne to Angelica. Obviously, the events of the book are fictional, and it was a weird move for Hugo to implicate real historical figures as responsible for the torture of a child, but it clearly served a purpose in his political criticism that the creative team made a choice to erase. They didn’t just change the names, though, they replaced the responsibility completely. In the book, Gwynplaine’s disfigurement—I will be referring to him as Gwynplaine because I think the musical calling him Grinpayne was an incredibly stupid and cruel choice—was done to him very deliberately, with malice aforethought, at the order of the king. The king represents the oppression of the privileged, and having the fault be all Barkilphédro loses a lot thematically. The antagonism of the rich is replaced by the cruelty of an upwardly mobile poor man (Barkilphédro), and the complicity of another poor man.

The other “villain” of the original story is the way that Gwynplaine is treated. I think for 1869, this was a very ahead-of-its-time approach to disability, which almost resembles the contemporary understanding of the Social Model of disability. (Sidenote: I can’t argue on Déa’s behalf. Hugo really dropped the ball with her. I’m going to take a moment to shout out the musical for the strength and agency they gave Déa.) The way the public treats Gwynplaine was kind of absent from the show. I thought it was a very interesting and potentially good choice to have the audience enter the role of Gwynplaine’s audience (the first they see of him is onstage, performing as the Grinning Man) rather than the role of the reader (where we first see him as a child, fleeing a storm). If done right, this could have explored the story’s theme of our tendency to place our empathy on hold in order to be distracted and feel good, eventually returning to critique the audience’s complicity in Gwynplaine’s treatment. However, since Grinpayne’s suffering is primarily based in the angst caused by his missing past and the physical pain of his wound (long-healed into a network of scars in the book) [a quick side-note: I think it was refreshing to see chronic pain appear in media, you almost never see that, but I wish it wasn’t in place of the depth of the original story], the audience does not have to confront their role in his pain. They hardly play one. Instead, it is Barkilphédro, the singular villain, who is responsible for Grinpayne’s suffering. Absolving the audience and the systems of power which put us comfortably in our seats to watch the show of pain and misery by relegating responsibility to one character, the audience gets to go home feeling good.

If you want to stretch, the villain of the Grinning Man could be two people and not one. It doesn’t really matter, since it still comes back to individual fault, not even the individual fault of a person of high status, but one or two poor people. Musical!Ursus is an infinitely shittier person than his literary counterpart. In the book, Gwynplaine is still forced to perform spectacles that show off his appearance, but they’re a lot less personal and a lot less retraumatizing. In the musical, they randomly decided that not only would the role of the rich in the suffering of the poor be minimized, but also it would be poor people that hurt Grinpayne the most. Musical!Ursus idly allows a boy to be mutilated and then takes him in and forces him to perform a sanitized version of his own trauma while trying to convince him that he just needs to move on. In the book, he is much kinder. Their show, Chaos Vanquished, also allows him to show off as an acrobat and a singer, along with Déa, whose blindness isn’t exploited for the show at all. He performs because he needs to for them all to survive. He lives a complex life like real people do, of misery and joy. He’s not obsessed with “descanting on his own deformity” (dark shoutout to William Shakespeare for that little…infuriating line from Richard III), but rather thoughtfully aware of what it means. He deeply feels the reality of how he is seen and treated. Gwynplaine understands that he was hurt by the people who discarded him for looking different and for being poor, and he fucking goes off about it in the Parliament Confrontation scene (more to come on this). It is not a lesson he has to learn but a lesson he has to teach.

Grinpayne, on the other hand, spends his days in agony over his inability to recall who disfigured him, and his burning need to seek revenge. To me, this feels more than a little reminiscent of the trope of the Search for a Cure which is so pervasive in media portrayals of disability, in which disabled characters are able to think of nothing but how terribly wrong their lives went upon becoming disabled and plan out how they might rectify this. Grinpayne wants to avenge his mutilation. Gwynplaine wants to fix society. Sure, he decides to take the high road and not do this, and his learning is a valuable part of the musical’s story, but I think there’s something so awesome about how the book shows a disabled man who understands his life better than any abled mentor-philosophers who try to tell him how to feel. Nor is Gwynplaine fixed by Déa or vice versa, they merely find solace and strength in each other’s company and solidarity. The musical uses a lot of language about love making their bodies whole which feels off-base to me.

I must also note how deeply subversive the book was for making him actually happy: despite the pain he feels, he is able to enjoy his life in the company and solidarity he finds with Déa and takes pride in his ability to provide for her. The assumption that he should want to change his lot in life is not only directly addressed, but also stated outright as a failure of the audience: “You may think that had the offer been made to him to remove his deformity he would have grasped at it. Yet he would have refused it emphatically…Without his rictus… Déa would perhaps not have had bread every day”

He has a found family that he loves and that loves him. I thought having him come from a loving ~Noble~ family that meant more to him than Ursus did rather than having Ursus, a poor old man, be the most he had of a family in all his memory and having Déa end up being Ursus’ biological daughter really undercut the found family aspect of the book in a disappointing way.

Most important to me was the fundamental change that came from the removal of the Parliament Confrontation scene, on both the themes of the show and the character of Gwynplaine. When Gwyn’s heritage is revealed and his peerage is restored to him, he gets the opportunity to confront society’s problems in the House of Parliament. When Gwynplaine arrives in the House of Parliament, the Peers of England are voting on what inordinate sum to allow as income to the husband of the Queen. The Peers expect any patriotic member of their ranks to blithely agree to this vote: in essence, it is a courtesy. Having grown up in extreme poverty, Gwynplaine is outraged by the pettiness of this vote and votes no. The Peers, shocked by this transgression, allow him to take the stand and explain himself. In this scene, Gwynplaine brilliantly and profoundly confronts the evils of society. He shows the Peers their own shame, recounting how in his darkest times a “pauper nourished him” while a “king mutilated him.” Even though he says nothing remotely funny, he is received with howling laughter. This scene does a really good job framing disability as a problem of a corrupt, compassionless society rather than something wrong with the disabled individual (again, see the Social Model of disability, which is obviously flawed, but does a good job recognizing society that denies access, understanding and compassion—the kind not built on pity—as a central problem faced by disabled communities). It is the central moment of Hugo’s story thematically, which calls out the injustices in a system and forces the reader to reckon with it.

It is so radical and interesting and full that Gwynplaine is as brilliant and aware as he is. He sees himself as a part of a system of cruelty and seeks justice for it. He is an empathic, sharp-minded person who seeks to make things better not just for himself and his family, but for all who suffer as he did at the hands of Kings. Grinpayne’s rallying cry is “I will find and kill the man who crucified my face.” He later gets wise to the nature of life and abandons this, but in that he never actually gets to control his own relationship to his life. When I took a class about disability in the media one of the things that seemed to stand out to me most is that disabled people should be treated as the experts on their own experiences, which Gwynplaine is. Again, for a book written in 1869 that is radical. Grinpayne is soothed into understanding by the memory of his (rich) mother’s kindness.

I’ll give one more point of credit. I loved that there was a happy ending. But maybe that’s just me. The cast was stellar, and the puppetry was magnificent. I wanted to like the show so badly, but I just couldn’t get behind what it did to the story I loved.

#the grinning man #the man who laughs #tgm musical #l'homme qui rit #victor hugo #gwynplaine's parliament rambles #long post /

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reannmel · 2 years

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Women, We Can

Patriarchy is a system of relationships, ideas, and values that structure gender inequality between men and women and is rooted in political, social, and economic systems. It has been critiqued for conceptualizing men and women's unequal relationships in a way that is too universalizing and encompassing. Attributes that are considered "feminine" or related to women are neglected, whereas attributes that are considered "masculine" or related to men are favored. Both the private and public realms are structured by patriarchal relationships, assuring that men dominate both. In order to maintain patriarchal ties, feminist studies explores the histories and geographies of patriarchal interactions to show that patriarchy manifests in dynamic and adaptable ways. These theories examine the connections between patriarchy and capitalism, colonialism, and nationalism, proposing that patriarchal relations operate across scales in ways that not only define but also order social relations in hierarchical relationships.

Male-dominated power structures pervade organized society and individual relationships in a patriarchal society. Men become churlish about how they treat women because this system has given men more power than women, and men enjoy some privileges that women do not. Patriarchy acts as an opaque barrier that restricts not only women but also males. Limits in terms of their ostensibly assigned responsibilities, emotions, ability to nourish, and health-promoting behaviors. It's a never-ending demand on men to adhere to a restricted definition of masculinity, compete with one another, and prove their manhood by rejecting their humanity and abandoning their individuality. Men display miscreant behavior to women in a variety of ways, including being domineering, aggressive, worldly, sexually experienced, insensitive, physically intimidating, ambitious, and demanding. Men always turn into naysayers who knock down every proposal originating from women, no matter how promising it is once it comes from women. They question every action, strategy, and, in general, anything that comes from women. It would be invalidated since women at the period were thought to be irrational and were just supposed to dress in traditionally feminine ways, be pleasant, nurturing, and accommodating in the sense that saying "no" in any case would be absurd.

We live in a world where a few powerful oppressive systems are at work; one of them is gender inequality. Gender inequality is defined as any unequal treatment based on gender, including privilege and priority. We are subjected to discriminatory gender norms about expectations, access to resources, and opportunities from the moment we are born, with lifelong effects - in our homes, schools, and communities. As previously said, people are expected to act, speak, dress, groom, and conduct themselves according to their assigned sex.

There is always a gleam of hope for women, no matter how dark the circumstances are. Many feminists and advocates have helped to illuminate the society for women and young girls. Malala Yousafzai, who was 11 years old when the Taliban proclaimed on the radio that females would no longer be allowed to attend school in Pakistan, and she was one of them. That's when she discovered that education entailed more than just reading books and completing homework. The fact that it was already promoting women's empowerment. Yousafzai began advocating for girls' right to education, and the Taliban swiftly identified her as a target as a result of her activity. Yousafzai was shot as she returned home from school in October 2012. She resumed her advocacy after months of surgery and recovery, becoming one of the most outspoken advocates for girls' education in the world and the youngest Nobel laureate at the age of 17. "I raise my voice not to shout, but so that others without a voice might be heard," she added. We can't prosper if half of us are kept behind." Women are also entitled to fundamental human rights such as food, shelter, and employment, in addition to education. In this case, there is also a demand for action against violence and crimes such as domestic violence, rape, and human trafficking. These efforts being exerted in the past and continuously in the present time is gradually breaking down the stigma and making way to a luminous future for women.

Gender equality is a requirement for a peaceful, prosperous, and long-term future, as well as a basic human right. Gender equality refers to a world where men and women, boys and girls, have equal access to resources, opportunities, and safeguards. Empowering girls and women while they are young has been shown to have long-term and compounding benefits throughout their lives. Girls are given the tools and abilities they need to be good changemakers in their homes and communities when they are encouraged to participate in civic and political settings. Girls are the experts on their own lives, goals, and needs, and they are powerful forces for gender equality in the society.

Women are more than just child bearers, caretakers, to stay at home, do chores, and are always gentle and soft. Women can be strong, independent, willful, and logical too. We women are more than the labels and roles being set by the previous patriarchal society.

References:

Patriarchy. (2020, January 1). ScienceDirect. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/B978008102295510206

We are all victims of a patriarchal society: some just suffer more than others. (2021, March 9). Cordaid International. https://www.cordaid.org/en/news/we-are-all-victims-of-a-patriarchal-society/

What Is a Patriarchal Society and How Does It Relate to Feminism? (2020, January 24). ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/patriarchal-society-feminism-definition-3528978

#womenwecan smashthepatriarchy genderequality

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alittledizzy · 4 years

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29 Things I Love About Dan

1. That he came out to his family via email. Aspirational.

2. Dude really, really loves his grandma.

3. That one time at a book signing when the bookstore overpromised tickets and there was a dad that was really upset because his daughter had been waiting in line so long and didn't get to meet them. The dad was just shouting at Dan and Phil and everyone else was trying to just quickly walk on but Dan stopped, turned around, and talked to the dad.

4. That he's the first person to defend someone he loves in any situation where he even perceives they're being shit upon, but in the same breath will make fun of them himself. He's the epitome of older brother attitude.

5. He spends a lot of money on clothes but then he wears what he buys every single day for a span of at least a year so he does at least get his money's worth.

6. That time on vyou when someone asked him what he looks for in a girl and his answer was the ring that fell off his hand last time that he really wants back.

7. His reaction to the Phil's wife story. I still laugh thinking about Sabrina and Lola. In the process of answering that he made a remark about how Phil leaves to go with his 'real' family and sometimes that just latches itself onto my brain. There was a similar comment during the blue/gold dress debate where Phil referenced Dan in with family and it's just... like, yeah, they're in love, they're in a relationship. But they're not just partners, they are full on out and out family to each other and that Dan found that at a time when he was so scared and felt so isolated with his own family is worth everything.

8. The depth of feeling in his voice during that one "Katie, Katie, Katie... Katie, Katie, Katie. No." liveshow answer. You know the one. He was having none of that and if Katie got verbally incinerated in the process of his answering, so be it.

9. When he'd be doing a liveshow and get on a tangent and end up talking about condiments or dips for like four minutes straight.

10. The way he never minded putting someone on blast that pissed him off but knew that it bothered Phil so he would consult with Phil first sometimes but then if the situation actually involved Phil being hurt in some way all bets were off he Was naming that trainer that made Phil puke he did not Care if Phil gave him an alias for the video Kai deserved what he got for pushing Phil too far.

11. That after a decade he still wants to impress Phil's family by doing things like cleaning before they come and making them all coffee.

12. And yet still made a cake to give to Phil in front of them that talked about wanting to see Phil's ass. The duality of man is real, indeed.

13. Nicer Internet. Young Minds. Make-a-Wish. Mermaids. He only just came into his own with being charity-minded in the last few years and I don't for a second doubt he does more privately than publicly and probably has some mental spirals about using his platform vs being accused of virtue signaling. But this is just one way I love watching him find his footing in the world as an adult with privilege.

14. He introduced an important word to my personal lexicon with Haru and I'd like the rest of the world to catch on because it's just a very specific action of lying while obviously lying and pretending you aren't lying and I love it.

15. When he was fifteen he was so in his emo kid feelings that he wanted black angel wings tattooed on his back.

16. That little tune he'd hum when he was trying to space out thoughts during liveshows.

17. That somehow he beat all the odds and is best friends with the first person he subscribed to (Bryony) and in a relationship with his teenage self's favorite youtuber (Phil, obviously). Teenage Dan had a really shit time of almost everything but in that one specific 'meet your idols' area he was truly blessed with all of the luck.

18. "All I can taste is cherry, all I can smell is cherry, all I can hear is cherry and all I can feel is cherry. Can't really see much though."

19. The fact that he owned up to previous bad takes and opinions and deleted old videos and tweets.

20. Litralee.

21. They originally wanted Phil to run the board at the radio show but he did such a bad job of it after the first episode that they gave it to Dan instead, and I think for someone with zero radio work experience or training Dan did an amazing job. He may spend a lot of time doubting himself but when a spotlight is on him he's clever and confident and adapts quickly.

22. The way when he says 'at all' he still sounds like his five year old self.

23. That he tried to run the marathon last year, and didn't, and tried again this year. When you're someone that fears judgement for your failures and knows everything you do is scrutinized by a very large audience - not just fans but people waiting for you to fail so they can report on that, too - sharing in that way seems like it would be really hard. It was shit luck that he couldn't run it this year either but I have faith he's gonna cross that finish line because the man Dan Howell has turned into goes after what he wants and fuck what anyone else thinks or expects of him.

24. That one liveshow they did without pants. You know that was Dan's idea. Phil is a respectable young man who does not go live on the internet to thousands of people in just his underwear. But Dan? Dan would. Dan does. And Dan is a terrible blerson.

25. That in a video to ten million people he said with his whole chest that his relationship with Phil made him feel safe for the first time since he was a small child. And like, yeah, sure, I'm infatuated with their relationship so it made me happy on a personal level. But beyond that; putting words to things is clearly not easy for Dan. It took him decades to acknowledge he was gay to himself. It took decades plus a little to tell his family. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much people know things, giving it a label is fucking scary and I think his fear of labeling his relationship with Phil (to the public) felt like a different kind of exposure than just his sexuality and he still faced them both.

26. He clearly has a very complicated relationship with his parents and family in general but that one story he told about being young and on holiday to Disneyland Paris and his mum is terrified of roller coasters but went on one with him like six times because she didn't want him to be alone. I'm glad through all the badness and doubt and fear he's had at how conditional his parents' love might be, that he had those good memories as well.

27. It was Dan that coined the phrase 'post-baking universe.' He's very aware of the stages of their life and his growth and he shares that self-awareness with the viewers even if he doesn't share all the depth of reasoning behind them. (He also coined the term 'phan' but in that instance I think uhh he didn't know what he was doing so.)

28. That he's learned better coping mechanisms than lashing out online. That he's got therapy now and the option for medication when he needs it. That depression doesn't go away but he knows he has options and support now.

29. He's given us almost a decade of content to watch and rewatch and enjoy and view through the different lights of his growth and our own growth, and who knows what the future will hold.

Okay, last minute addition - we'll call it one to grow on:

30. That Starcourt selfie.

#phan #meta

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