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eddiemunsonspantschain · 7 months

Text

The Boyfriend Experience - Ch.2

Author's Note: I'm sorry this took me like 289380 billion years to finish. I hope you guys like it

Word Count: 5.9 k

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: Depression, loneliness, isolation, negative thoughts and emotions but fluff to make up for it

You do not have permission to copy, translate or repost my work onto other sites or social medias. This work is my own and it is owned by me.

Nothing was happening. At this point, you thought Eddie had forgotten all about his ‘Boyfriend Experience’ proposal. Since that night in your apartment, Eddie hadn’t done anything. You had both seen each other, too. So it wasn’t for the lack of being around one another. Once a week the party gets together to hang out. Sometimes it was a movie night, sometimes an excursion to do other activities depending on the season. It was getting closer to fall. The heat was starting to break and cool down more and more in the daytime, staying nice and chill in the evening. You loved this transition into fall. All the things of comfort that you loved. Comfort food, soft blankets and scary movies. It made you happy. However, you also found yourself thinking of Eddie. When you curled up on your couch with a horror movie on and some good food, your mind wandered to how nice it would be to have someone with you. Before, it used to be a vague idea of a ‘someone’. Just wanting another body next to yours, enjoying the same things that you enjoyed. But now? Now all you could think about was the warm smell of Old Spice and brown curls out of the corner of your eye.

Your hope that you had shamefully attached to Eddie without him knowing was starting to dwindle fast. The more time that passed without him bringing up his plan or doing much of anything with you made that hope fade and fizzle out. Eddie was still nice to you, of course. Like he always had been. He talked to you, included you in the conversation with the group when you grew quiet and off to the side. He even gifted you a little affection when in front of the others. It dawned on you one day that he probably didn’t want to do anything because of the others being around. Of course, it made sense! Why would he want everyone to know he had done something with you? Kissed you? It all made sense now. Even if a small voice at the back of your mind said Eddie wasn’t that type of guy. But you weren't the one most wanted.

You went through phases like the one you were in now. You were fine with being alone a lot. You had been and felt alone for most of your life. Not many friends, no romantic partners, and just faded into the background. You grew accustomed to loneliness. However, every now and again, you yearn. You yearn for companionship. Wherever you could get it. You once again found yourself in that position. Yearning. As you scrolled on your phone, you saw a few Instagram posts from friends, liking and commenting on some things. You chuckled as you spotted a photo of Nancy and Jonathan looking at puppies in a pet store. You transitioned to your messaging app, texting Nancy asking if she and Jonathan were planning on getting a puppy now that they lived together. After a few more minutes of scrolling, you decided to set down your phone and get some chores done.

You spent time dutifully cleaning your apartment. You always felt better when your place was clean. Too cluttered with mess made you feel like you coudn’t think or focus. However, you decided to take a break from running around busting your ass and sat down with some water, picking up your phone. You went to see if Nancy texted you back since you had texted her a while ago. No new messages. You opened up your text to Nancy.

Read: 2:17 pm

You looked at the time on your phone. 5:45 pm. You deflated, setting your phone aside. ‘Maybe she’s just busy’, you tried to rationalize. But the tiny voice in the back of your mind told you otherwise. No, she just didn’t care enough to answer. You sighed, going back to Instagram seeing another recent post from Nancy. So she was on her phone. You tossed your phone across the couch. To anyone else, this wouldn’t be a big deal. You were being too sensitive, you tried to tell yourself. You took the pillow from behind your back and shoved it on top of your phone as if it would somehow silence the bad thoughts swirling in your head.

When things like this happened, you knew it was time to step away. If you continued the way you were, you would only get hurt. So you ignored your phone for the evening. Sometimes, that helped, but sometimes it didn’t do much to ease the thoughts swirling in your mind. Instead, you tried to stay positive. The next day, you decided to venture out of your home. You got dressed in something that made you feel comfortable. A large black hoodie, some black leggings and your red boots. Large and comfy, not wanting to feel self conscious today in any way. You found yourself wandering back to Family Video to rent some movies. When you walked inside, Steve and Robin weren’t alone.

All the gang, minus the kids, were there talking about something. When you walked in, Eddie was the first one to look up and see you. You smiled softly at him and wandered over to the horror movie section. Seconds later, Eddie was there.

“Hey, sweetheart.” he greeted, leaning against the shelf of movies.

“Hey, Eddie. How’s it goin?” you asked as you pulled a few movies from the shelf.

“Pretty good. Work’s keeping me busy,” he sighed, “But money is good. Means I can do more fun things.”

“Oh yeah? Like that?”

He grinned. “Spend it on something or someone I care about.” He shrugged, as if his answer meant nothing.

You looked at him, raising a brow before frowning. “If you think you’re gonna be spending any money on me, put that back in your head.” you warned, and Eddie sighed dramatically.

“C’mon, babe.” he murmured and moved closer. “Can’t treat my best girl to something?” Best girl. His best girl.

You shook your head. “You’re a ham, Eds.” you told him, bumping your shoulder with his as you head back to the counter. You placed the old movie you rented on the counter, adding the new ones to be rung up, too. Steve jumped to take care of your movies.

“So we can all leave here by six tomorrow? Should make it there on time. Maybe get a motel for the night?” Nancy suggested to the group, the others nodding along.

“There something going on?” you asked them.

Eyes turned to you as Nancy nodded. “We’re heading to the city to go and check out this club.” She answered.

“You’re all going?” you asked, glancing around the group as the others confirmed they were going. “Oh,” you murmured and silence followed.

“We know clubbing isn’t exactly your thing. That’s why we didn’t invite you.” Steve supplemented when the awkwardness began to kick in. You thanked whatever god was out there that you managed to control your face quick enough when you realized everyone was looking at you. You felt the ache in your chest of being excluded. Clubbing wasn’t Jonathan’s thing either, yet he was invited. Eddie didn’t like clubbing either unless it was somewhere that played music he liked. Yet, he was invited. You managed to school your face into a neutral expression. Neither happy nor sad. Just nothing. You felt the familiar burn of tears threatening to make themselves known and averted your eyes to the top of the counter. You dug into your pocket and handed your money to Steve. This was the second time now you’ve come into Family Video and had your feelings hurt. Maybe next time you’d rent somewhere else…

“Have fun.” you murmured with a small smile, taking your movies and swiftly exiting the store. You didn’t make it very far before tears gathered on your lash line. You got to your car and pulled open the door, sliding into the driver's seat and tossing the movies into the seat beside you. You took a long, shaky breath and turned the ignition. You saw the door to Family Video open up, Eddie stepping outside. You already pulled out of the parking spot, turning and heading back to your house before you could even think about what Eddie wanted. He most likely was stepping out for a smoke since Steve had had to yell at him in the past for trying to smoke in the store.

—----------------------------------------

Eddie was trying to take things slowly. He realized with his proposal that he might have come on too strongly. He didn’t want to scare you. No, he wanted this to work out well. Not scare you off before he gets the chance to get close to you. So he kept a little distance. He hadn’t meant to be as distant as he was as work took over his life. He wanted to see you. He missed you. He cherished it when he’d get to see you at least once a week at group functions. Eddie was invited to Family Video by Steve, something about plans they were making. So he had gotten dressed and hopped into his van, driving over to Family Video. When he walked inside, he saw everyone but you and felt the disappointment take hold at not seeing you standing with everyone else. He wandered up to the counter and scrunched his nose hearing a club mentioned. The only time Eddie liked going to clubs was if they played the music he liked to listen to. He wasn’t fond of the usual shit the clubs played. He’d go just to have some overpriced drinks and smoke inside, but otherwise he had no stake in it. He agreed to going, assuming that you had also been invited but weren’t here to make plans for it. You usually went along with whatever plan was made beforehand.

When the door opened and the bell went off, Eddie looked over and grinned at seeing you walk inside. Of course, as soon as you broke off to go look at movies, he followed after you. He hadn’t seen you in two days, not that he was counting. He walked with you back to the counter and when you had asked what was going on; it hit him that you weren’t in on the plans to go to a club in the city. The second that ‘Oh’ left your lips, he wanted to hug you. Hearing the sad tone was enough to crack his heart. At Steve’s words, Eddie couldn’t help the prickle of annoyance in his chest. They knew he didn’t like clubbing either, but they had invited him. He knew the last time you all went to a club you had practically stuck to whoever was closest to you, not wanting to be left alone with all the drunk strangers.

Then Eddie saw it.

He had been looking at you and after Steve’s words he saw the flash of hurt on your face. It was in your eyes and on your face for all of half a second. Then he saw your face melt into indifference. Nothing shows on your face to betray your feelings. He just watched you go stone cold in seconds to cover how you felt. But he knew. He saw it. He saw the hurt and rejection. Even your tone as you told them to have fun held no emotion in it. The smile you offered was one to throw them off. Then you were gone. Eddie watched your retreating back and he looked back at the others. They seemed none the wiser. Eddie knew that they had good intentions. That they didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way. However, he couldn’t shake the feeling he got seeing you school your features to not let the others in on how you were feeling. Eddie moved without thinking and without explanation, pushing the door open of Family Video just in time to see you pull away from the store. He wanted to jump out in front of your car. Anything to make you not run off from them. From him. But Eddie watched you go. Standing out there in the parking lot was when Eddie decided he would not be going tomorrow evening. No, he couldn’t do that to you. Instead, he headed back inside to let the group know he was bailing on them. Citing something more important that he had to do and ignoring the looks from Jonathan and Nancy as they glanced at one another.

The next evening was when Eddie’s plan came into action. He knew you well enough, listened to you well enough to know you would be at home in comfy clothes, keeping to yourself. So Eddie packed himself an overnight bag and headed to your place. It was sunset, and he knew you were home. He was happy to see your car parked outside your apartment and quickly made his way to your door. He could hear you inside. It sounded like you were cooking something. He knocked on the door a couple of times. When the door opened, he grinned at the sight of you. You were in a hoodie, hair pulled into a messy bun at the top of your head. Your sweatpants were baggy and tied around your hips like you had bought mens sweatpants and were unable to keep them up. Orange socks with jack-o-lantern faces on the tops of your feet poked out from the legs of your sweatpants.

“What’s cooking?” Eddie asked, smelling something savory coming from your kitchen.

—--------------------------------

It was homemade chicken noodle soup. A comfort food for you. After the past few days, you were ready to just take time for yourself. Sometimes a self care day just makes you feel the tiniest bit better. So you planned a good meal, a bath, skin care and lots of comfort. You had chopped up all your vegetables. The usual carrots, celery, onion and garlic go into the pot. You seasoned your chicken bone broth with thyme and a sizable bay leaf. You always made more soup than one person probably needed. Usually getting a couple of bowls out of it, but you didn’t care. You had put all your veggies into the broth to simmer to soften the veggies and get some good flavor into them. You shredded up some chicken, noodles already ready to throw into the soup when it was finished. A movie played in the background as you tossed some garlic bread into the oven. Jack was just touring the hotel he would be working in for the winter. You smiled softly as you moved to your coffee table, lighting up a candle and going back to the kitchen for a drink when you heard a knock on the door. You stopped mid-stride. You certainly weren’t expecting anybody since all your friends had gone into the city to that club and you had no other friends. You frowned and approached the door carefully before leaning up on your toes for the peephole. Despite the fact that the thing was murky as hell, you could always recognize the mop of brown curls on the other side. You quickly opened the door, staring up at Eddie. At his question, you opened your mouth and closed it again. Why was he here? Shouldn’t he be with everyone else? Your eyes drifted to the bag on his shoulder.

“Uh, chicken noodle soup and garlic bread.” You answered, stepping back to let Eddie inside. He moved inside like you had expected him. There was a dull thud as his bag hit the floor. Eddie crouched down and opened up his bag, pulling out clothes. You blinked, slowly backing up into the kitchen, a little more confused now. You opened the fridge and poured yourself some water. “Water or beer?” You called out.

“Water!”

You grabbed another glass and poured Eddie some water. You shuffled back to the living room and stopped short seeing Eddie changing in the middle of your living room. “Uhh, Eds?” you tilted your head to the side. His pale skin contrasted his tattoos well. Black ink against alabaster skin portraying things Eddie had drawn up himself. Unique art on a unique human being. For never being a jock, Eddie had muscle. You’d seen the amplifiers he had picked up before, so you knew his arms were muscular before you even got this chance to ogle them. He had a little waist and a tiny bit of pudge on his stomach. It was funny to you in that moment that you admired his tummy, but you hated your own. You wanted to poke at his tummy and hug him, feel the warmth of his skin against yours and the contours of his body.

“What’s so funny?”

You moved your eyes from Eddie’s chest to his amused face. “Nothing,” you murmured and held out the glass to him.

Eddie took the glass and took a sip before humming and shaking his head. “Nope, something was definitely funny. Was it something about my chest? You were staring pretty hard.”

Your face immediately grew warm knowing that he had caught you staring at him. “I-”

“You can stare all you want, sweetheart. Take a picture if you want, too.” Eddie set his glass down and reached for his belt, undoing it faster than you had ever seen someone unbuckle and remove a belt from their person. He popped the button on his jeans next.

“Soup! Gonna… soup.” You half shouted, half mumbled before retreating into the kitchen quickly. You removed the lid from the pot and stared down into your soup as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

When you finally got your breathing under control and you stopped picturing Eddie taking his belt off in your living room, you returned to your task of making dinner. You pulled the garlic bread from the oven and dumped the egg noodles into the pot. You reached up to grab some bowls, but another pair of hands stopped you in your tracks. Eddie grabbed the bowls, chest pressed to your back. He grabbed two of them and two small plates for the garlic bread, then set them on the counter. You swallowed thickly and wondered if he had put a shirt on. You turned your head and discovered that he hadn’t. You wiggled around until you faced him. Eddie smiled, placing his hands on the counter and trapping you in. “Not cold?” you murmured softly.

Eddie shook his head. “No, not cold,” he murmured back. One of his hands moved to your hip before sliding behind to slide up into your hoodie, touching your back.

You stared up at him, chewing on your lip thoughtfully. He stared back at you and you watched as his eyes wandered from your eyes, then down to your lips. As he leaned in, you reached up and placed your hand on his jaw, your thumb resting on his lips. “Hold on, before you distract me,” you chuckle, feeling his lower lip jut out a little under your thumb in a pout. “Aren’t you supposed to be in the city?”

Eddie’s face shifted at your inquiry. No longer pouting, he now looked a bit sad and you thought you might have hurt his feelings by making it seem like you didn’t want him there. You moved your thumb off of his lip to let him speak. “I guess? But I knew you weren’t going and I wasn’t going to go without you…” he murmured. You watched his face for a moment. He looked like he had more to say to you and you hoped your silence would soon egg him on. You nodded your head a little. “How did you do that?” he finally asked quietly after a few moments of silence.

“Do what?”

“You shut off.” You raised a brow at that. Shut off? Shut off what? “In the store the other day, Steve mentioned why they didn’t invite you. You looked upset for half a second, sweetheart, then… nothing. Like it never happened. I watched you just kinda… shut off?”

Oh. “You noticed that?” you whispered and Eddie nodded. His fingers soothingly rubbed the skin of your back.

“Yeah, I noticed that.” he answered, “What was that?”

You didn’t want to tell him. You’d learned sometimes it was far better hiding your feelings than making other people ‘deal with’ them. You didn’t want to bother anyone with your emotions. “It was nothing, really.” you waved it off but Eddie was stubborn and you knew this. So it didn’t surprise you when he shook his head.

“No, no. Not nothing. C’mon. Boyfriend time. Be honest with me and how you feel.”

You sighed. There was only so long you could go with this and you knew this. Eddie was persistent when he wanted to be. Your hands moved to his chest before settling down at his waist. “I just… hid it.” you murmured with a small shrug as if it was nothing.

“Hid it?”

“My reaction. How I felt.”

“Why?”

The simple question in and of itself stopped you. You knew why but you also knew for some people it probably was a hard thing to grasp. You took a breath and sighed. “Because it’s better to tuck it away than to let people know you’re upset. So they don’t get upset that you’re upset and have to deal with how you… I, feel.” you murmured your explanation, distracting yourself with the tattoos inked into Eddie’s chest instead of looking up at his face. “It happens. Especially when I’ve had a rough week. It just… feels easier to tuck it away for the time being.”

“And what happens when it doesn’t stay hidden away?” Eddie practically whispered his question like he was afraid of the answer.

“You wouldn’t want to see that when it happens. It isn’t pretty.”

“I’m not here for just the pretty.”

Your eyes moved up to his face. “Yeah?” your voice cracked a little and you resisted the urge to ask why he had waited all week to kiss you then if that was how he felt. Why he didn’t want to in front of everyone else. It never occurred to you that it might be for your comfort and not his own.

“Talk to me,baby. Tell me what’s happened this week.” Eddie murmured, pressing closer to you. His lips met your forehead in a soothing touch as you took a shaky breath.

“I just felt…” your lips closed again. It was nerve wracking just telling someone plainly how you felt. How you hurt.

“Go on,”

“I felt ignored this week,” you admitted softly.

“By who?” Eddie asked, pulling back so he could see your face now.

“Nancy was first. Reached out and she left me on read that’s all… there was also what happened at Family Video the other day. You and Jonathan got invited to the club and I know it isn’t my scene but it isn’t yours either but you guys got invited. Then,” you stopped. The last thing had been Eddie. Not hearing from him since the first night he was there at your apartment with you and when he did see you he had acted as if none of this was happening. It made you feel a way you didn’t want to feel again.

Eddie was too observant in his day to day life but sitting there watching your face intently as you spoke he knew not just from your trailing off into silence that there was something else but he could see it in your eyes. He gave your side a gentle squeeze as if to pull you back to him. “Then,” he murmured softly.

Your eyes moved back up to Eddie’s face. You were afraid to hurt his feelings and the urge to tell him that it was nothing was strong. The way Eddie watched you made you feel like you should just tell him. If you didn’t, you risked him acting as if nothing had ever happened again. It felt almost like being used. “I know this isn’t real.” you started, “but you… I just hardly saw you this week and I know I’m probably overthinking it like the idiot I am but I didn’t see you for so long and then we finally have a party gathering and… I don’t know. I expected something, I guess.”

“Something? Can you give me more details?” he asked, his other hand now moving to cradle the back of your head.

Band aid. Just rip it off. “Did you not want to kiss me in front of everyone else? It’s because it’s me, isn’t it?” you practically rush out.

The look on Eddie’s face has your face growing warm with embarrassment. The shock written on his face at your words like he almost couldn’t believe you had asked him that. “No! No, Y/N. It’s not because it’s you. How could you… Fuck, babe. I’d kiss you in front of all of them but I didn’t for you. Not because of you. I didn’t wanna scare you off and I also didn’t want everyone to have a million questions especially cause I had no idea what you were thinking after last week. Trust me, if I thought I could get away with it I’d make out with you in front of all of them and risk whatever would be thrown at us to make us stop.” Eddie chuckled, tucking a piece of your hair back into your bun that attempted an escape. You pouted, lightly swatting his side as he mentioned making out with you in front of the others. It made sense what he was saying. If no one else knew of your ‘arrangement’ it might seem weird it happened. Besides that, one moment you both were just friends and the next you were all over one another? You supposed it wasn’t far off. “I know you’re also not huge on public displays of affection.” Eddie added on.

You shrugged your shoulders. That was actually due in part to being on your own. Being so lonely, yearning what other people had and those experiences sometimes made it hard to see people lavish affection on one another. It usually brought on a bitter feeling and thoughts about how you would never know what that would feel like. It was better not to see it than to see it and crave what you couldn’t have. You pressed your face to Eddie’s chest and sighed, taking in his warmth. “More like jealousy than anything else,” you mumbled your confession against his skin. You’d never been this close to a shirtless man before.

“Jealousy, huh?” Eddie hummed and you could hear the smirk in his tone. “Might just have to make out with you on our first public date outting. Movies? Go real old school with it.”

“Not really old school like Skull Rock or Lovers Lake?” you tease and rested your chin on his chest.

“Oooh, you wanna go really old school, huh?” Eddie laughed and nodded his head, “We can do that.”

You felt a little better having talked it out with Eddie. The conversation didn’t go deeper after that, but even the little that you had touched on felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. Eddie made you feel validated. Not that your feelings were unimportant in any way. Sometimes you knew what was upsetting you could be ridiculous and was linked to a deeper problem at the time but it was nice just to be heard. There were multiple reasons why someone might not answer their phone or decide they will answer later and just forget. You sometimes just got into these depressive episodes where it felt like everything was the issue. The smallest thing was blown up in your mind because your mind was telling you these negative things. It was why you found nights like these helpful. A good meal, some movies and self care could sometimes knock you into a good headspace to start fresh again.

After your conversation, you and Eddie took your food into the living room. You both eat in silence as you watch the movie. Every now and again, Eddie makes a comment on the film or your cooking. When the food was finished and the rest put up, you sat on the couch and knew you should move on to your other parts of the evening before it got too late. Eddie dramatically draped himself over your legs as you stretched out on your couch. He wriggled his way up until his head rested on your stomach. “So, what else do you do on these cozy nights of yours?” Eddie asked, eyes glued to the TV.

“I do some skincare, have a good bath or shower. Get all pretty and soft skinned.” you answered as you began playing with his hair. It then occurred to you that Eddie was there. You moved your hand to his face, feeling his cheek before feeling his forehead then his nose.

“Sweetheart… what are you doing?”

You giggle at his question and shrug. “Feeling your face compared to your T-zone.” you answer as if it was obvious.

“My what zone?” Eddie lifted his head to look at you.

“Your T-zone.” you poked his forehead, running your finger across his forehead, then down the bridge of his nose to form a T. “Some people are more oily in their T-zone. I was curious about your face. Do you wanna join me?”

“Are you gonna touch my zones again?”

“I’m gonna touch all over your face. Maybe your neck too.” you laughed. If you really wanted to you could spoil him by laying him down and giving him the full treatment. “Shower first though.”

Eddie immediately grinned. “Are we gonna shower together?” he wiggled his brows at you.

“I think it’s a tad early for you to see me naked.”

“Damn it.” Eddie sighed dramatically, “... you can still see me naked though.”

“You almost did show me. Remember?”

“Oh yeah… where did I throw that belt?”

—--------------------------------

Both of you took separate showers. Once you were clean, you had set out your stuff on your night table and sat on your bed. Eddie laid down on your bed with his head resting in your lap. You already had a face mask on and had diligently pulled Eddie’s hair back, strapping a headband onto him to keep his hair at bay from his face.

“So this is supposed to be good for you?” Eddie asked, eyes closed as you picked things up off of your bedside table.

“Yes, Eddie. It’s good for you.” you laughed as you wet Eddie’s face. You squirted some of your face wash into your hands and lathered it up before starting to clean Eddie’s face. You made sure to massage the cleanser into his skin. A small smile tugged at your lips feeling Eddie’s body relax further as you massaged his face. Once it was clean, you took a damp towel and wiped the cleanser off.

“Tranquilizer fingers over here.” Eddie mumbled quietly. You hummed as you started to paint a mask onto his face. “Oooh, what the fuck, is this normal?” Eddie asked, chocolate eyes open and turned up towards you.

“What’s happening?” you asked him with a frown.

“My face is tingly. Is my face gonna fall off?” his eyes were wide, concerned for the state of his face.

“Does it tingle or burn like a sunburn?”

“Tingle. It doesn’t hurt.”

You laughed and shook your head. “That’s normal, babe. If it burned then no.” you reassured him, smoothing more of the mask over his face.

“Oh thank god. My beautiful face,” he sighed dramatically. “So this relaxing stuff, you do it often?”

You nodded your head. “It helps me relax. Forget about everything that happens when it’s a bad day. Makes me feel fresh and renewed in a way. Relaxed, too.” you explained with a small shrug.

“Do you masturbate on these nights too?” Eddie chuckled, “Sounds like it’d go well together.”

You roll your eyes and nod. “Yeah, perv. That goes hand in hand too.” you laugh, gently tugging on his hair.

Eddie managed to let you finish doing a face mask on him followed by putting some hair products into his hair. You even managed to paint his nails for him. Black, of course. At the end of the night when the beauty products were put away and the dishes cleaned, Eddie crawled into bed with you. You curled up beside him, snuggling close to him as he turned the night table lamp off. You listened to his heart beat. You took a breath and shut your eyes.

“Eddie,”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for spending time with me tonight.”

“Of course, sweetheart. Anything for you.”

—---------------------------------

It was still chilly. You were thankful for it. You had been watching your curtains blowing from the breeze coming through the open window for a while now. You looked over at the clock. It was later than you usually woke up but you had the day off and you currently had a man cuddling you. You found you liked cuddling or maybe you just liked cuddling Eddie. Either way, you were content. His breath fanned over your skin every time he breathed out, very much still asleep. You had entertained the idea of getting up and making coffee but that meant moving from where you were. Comfy and warm under your covers. Eddie’s arms tightened around you as if in his sleep he was telling you not to move either. You laid there just a bit longer.

It was your need for the bathroom that finally made you move. You carefully extracted yourself from Eddie’s hold and grabbed your hoodie from last night, pulling it back on. When you slept it was like a delicate balance of temperatures. Nice and cold inside the room but you couldn’t bundle too much to sleep or you’d grow too hot. You started up some coffee and then started making scrambled eggs with sausage. Just as you were finishing up Eddie stumbled out of the bedroom. You let your eyes linger on Eddie’s shirtless form walking mindlessly towards you.

“Hi,” you laughed as he shuffled towards you.

Eddie grunted, wrapping his arms around you and leaning in. His lips pressed against yours, lingering there, pressing gentle kisses against your lips. You melted against him, kissing him back and deciding this was something you could get used to. When he pulled away you whined quietly at the loss of his lips on yours. “Hi,” Eddie answered, voice gravelly from sleep. “You make me breakfast?” he murmured as his head moved to press his face to your neck.

“Mhm,” you hummed, rubbing your hands over his back before wrapping your arms around him. “Hungry? Got coffee too.”

“So good to me,” Eddie murmured before lifting his head to kiss you again.

“C’mon,” you laughed, nudging him gently before pulling away to give him a mug.

Eddie took the mug from you and started to make his coffee. Soon the two of you were cuddled up on your couch to enjoy your breakfast together. Sitting there having coffee with Eddie felt good. It was comfortable and you found yourself thinking maybe you could get used to something like this. Maybe, just maybe, this was something you could have.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction

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yanderes-galore · 10 months

Note

I absolutely love ratchet so may I request yandere ratchet with a human prompt 53

I love Ratchet too :) I'd love to give you a small story about him and a human! I assumed you meant my prompts.

You gave no specific Ratchet so I just did his Prime appearance.

Note: I've been doing a lot of late night writing so I apologize if this is unorganized. This is essentially me being half asleep and indulging in my favorite character. It's content purely from the heart I guess, lol. I tried to keep up the plot so I hope it came out... coherent :)

Yandere! TFP! Ratchet Prompt 53

"I left you a few voice mails, why didn't you pick up?"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Paranoia, Overprotective behavior, Cybertronian/Human pair, Manipulation, Implied kidnapping, Dubious relationship, Deception.

Ratchet didn't used to like humans at first. He was already having to deal with three kids causing trouble in the base. When he met you, a young adult human, he wasn't sure what to think.

Turns out... you were tolerable. You genuinely wished to help out and keep the kids in line. Although even they seemed to be a handful for you.

Ratchet was still a bot who was hard to get along with at first due to his stubborn behavior. Despite this... Ratchet had begun to soften towards you over time. He began not to dislike humans all that much with time.

Honestly, it was you and the kids who helped him change his outlook.

When it came to you and Ratchet, you two could be considered partners. While Bulkhead had Miko, Bumblebee had Raf, and Arcee had Jack... Ratchet had you. Ratchet didn't think he'd ever have a human companion, he didn't even think he'd be attached...

Then he found you.

Ratchet had grown close to you because you provided companionship for him at the base. While the others were on a mission and he was meant to prepare Ground Bridges, you sat by his desk. You didn't talk unless he talked first when you were still getting to know each other.

Yet, soon Ratchet began looking forward to hearing your voice and seeing your small organic form. You just... provided him a sense of comfort. Your presence only ever proved useful when Ratchet began to stress himself out over the others.

A comment that was often tossed around was you being his emotional support. When Optimus wasn't around, Ratchet had you. You could say Ratchet cared for you at the very least.

Your companionship was different from the others. While when it came to the kids their respective Autobots acted like guardians... you and Ratchet were different. Your connection was beyond that of a guardian.

Sure, Ratchet was always protective, but it seemed like it was for different reasons. You never really knew how deep his attachment to you went yet it always felt different. You always seemed to ease him when you were around.

It wasn't hard to theorize what Ratchet really felt towards you. His softness around you felt intimate despite the differences between your species. It's some form of love, even if Ratchet never admits it.

This explanation felt the most plausible. It explained why Ratchet felt a yearning to connect with you more. Although such a feat only managed to frustrate him at times...

Your biological/biomechanical differences make it hard for him to display affection. He can only ever do small things. He can hold you, take you on drives, call you, talk to you, and he loves it but...

Intimacy, the thing he craves, is what upsets him at times when he looks at you.

Normally the thought might have repulsed him. The thought of hugging you or showing affection in the more romantic sense towards a human should be seen as foreign. Yet he wants it with you.

Such feelings are what's made Ratchet become more attached to you than a guardian. Based on how you act so positively around him, even when he picks you up... part of him hopes you feel the same. Surely... you won't mind being in a relationship with an old Cybertronian like him, would you?

He promises to himself he'll find a way to make an avatar to communicate with you with in the future.

The issue is, these feelings can also be seen as a weakness. Ratchet often grows distressed when you are away from him for too long. Yes, humans have their own lives to attend to...

He just wishes you'd spend more of your time at the base?

Ratchet didn't often talk about his problems, yet with you he felt it was important to voice his concerns. As a result you had given him a way to contact you when you're in your home. A phone number... one he often contacted.

He really didn't need the childish teasing, Primus he could hear it now. 'Ratchet's got a crush on a human'. He rolls his optics just thinking about it.

Yes, he loves you...yet it's normal. It has to be. He hasn't had a partner in a long time, if at all. Maybe he... wants to try something like that with you.

For now, Ratchet tried to focus on your safety. When he can find a way he'll share his romantic feelings with you. When he can properly convey them....

Gaining a way to talk to you made Ratchet relax a bit more. It gave him comfort whenever you texted him or gave him a call. Some say you can see Ratchet's mood change when you were on the phone. He physically relaxes his stance at the thought of you being safe and sound.

Optimus notices this change in his friend and his thought is he's happy for Ratchet. His friend has managed to find solace in a human like the others. Even if it's in a different way.

Being able to contact you is a double edged sword with Ratchet. While he's calmer with hearing your voice or seeing your texts, he appears snappy if he hasn't heard from you. Ratchet is never far from a way to contact you.

It's obsessive.

Ratchet would look distant when you don't respond right away, often looking at the screen with a frown. He hated being away from you at times. But you're busy with your own life and he is busy with his.

You'd soon learn not picking up when Ratchet calls is a mistake. Take a nap or go to work and Ratchet gets anxious. He expects you to pick up.

It would be so much easier if you were just right next to him...

He hopes he can do that some day once he perfects his hologram avatar technology.

---

"I left you a few voice mails, why didn't you pick up?"

Ratchet's gruff voice echoes through your phone. You had been away from your phone for a few hours and came back to voice mails of worried Ratchet. You originally thought it funny that he never wanted to be away from you for long, now it was concerning.

"I was busy, Ratchet..."

"Busy, huh? You're supposed to have your phone on you."

"What did I even miss? You know I have to have my own life here, right?"

Ratchet's silent on the phone, most likely grumbling to himself.

"Yeah yeah, I know. I have reasons to worry, however."

"Decepticons?"

"Yes. I don't know what I'd do if they got their hands on you."

"Nothing's going to happen, Ratchet!"

"You don't KNOW that...."

There's silence on the phone again before Ratchet speaks again. You swore you heard him sigh deeply.

"I want you back at the base."

"Why?"

"Security reasons. Decepticons in the area."

Something about his voice sounds off. His response is curt, almost rehearsed. You push it aside, thinking he's just irritated.

"Really? Alright...."

"Don't worry too much, I'd never let them touch you. I'm picking you up. Wait there, okay?"

"Ratchet, You never usually leave the base that often. Shouldn't you send one of the oth-"

"They're busy. I'd prefer it if... I brought you here, is that okay with you?"

"Sure, Ratchet. Be careful."

Ratchet says nothing, but your words affected him greatly. He appreciated the fact you cared for him like he cared for you. He hangs up on you and you cautiously wait for him. Decepticons in the area?

Were you really in that much danger?

---

It felt wrong to lie to you about a Decepticon threat. Yet Ratchet reassured himself that it could happen at any point in time. Just calling you wasn't enough.

As Ratchet drove back to the base with you in the front seat, he thought deeply about what he was doing. How long could he lie before he told you how he really felt? How long until you realize there's no real threat at this time.

Like a Decepticon, Ratchet had lied to you to get what he wants.

It felt dirty. Despite this, Ratchet could only think about you in his front seat. He could tell you were concerned.

He hoped you could forgive him for this. At the base you provide him such comfort. No one else could make him feel such a way. If he kept you there... he wouldn't have to worry. He could think about himself just this time, yeah?

Hopefully his little project would be done soon and he could convince you to stay. He could make you your own little area in the base and interact with you with a little avatar. In his eyes, you'd be a much happier human with his care.

He had his reasons and ways to have you understand him. You can't fully blame him when you learn the truth, could you? Decepticons were a threat, even if they weren't right at this tick.

This was the best way to care for you. He loves you... this would be beneficial to the both of you. You'll be safe and he'll have you.

While it may feel wrong to betray your trust now, it would yield results in the future. Ratchet stops once he rolls into the base and lets you out. After he transforms, Ratchet picks you up in his hands.

He can't hide the grin on his face when he looks at you.

You may not know it yet, but he knows you'll be so much happier beside him rather than alone.

"I'll make sure the Decepticons don't harm a hair on your head... you can relax, I'm here now."

#yandere transformers #yandere transformers prime #yandere tfp #yandere tfp ratchet #yandere ratchet #yandere transformers ratchet

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hutahuta · 4 months

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IS THAT A PAVIA CONTENT I SEE SO Though on Pavia and his s/o who's very affectionate towards him especially learning his past so they decided to comforting him by holding him and always showering him with lots and lots of effection whenever they could kissing them random times Hugging ot nowhere and calling them pretty all time and calling them by sweet petnames that could melt them by just calling them that petname to the point that the other characters are just Soo done by display they have witnessed all the time

P.AGE OO.9 — 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐔𝐌 & NOBILITY : 交 ✦ ⏱

pavia x gn!reader — clingy fluff and affections // headcanons and semi-analysis.

merry christmas! here's your gift,, 💞💕💓

i don't know if I properly executed this ask this time but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. slight gore warning when describing his occupation,, but overall it's just wholesomeness !

In the silent corridors of his soul, there resides an ache, an insatiable longing woven into the fabric of his being.

Growing up in the shadow of neglect, Pavia found solace in the silent whispers of his own echoes, seeking affection in the empty spaces between gestures. The yearning for warmth, for a touch that speaks of understanding, lingers like an unfinished melody haunting the chambers of his heart.

Every glance cast his way echoes the yearning for connection, an unspoken plea for a kindred spirit to unravel the knots of his longing.

For Pavia, he navigates the world with a hunger for tenderness. His soul aching for the love he never received, yet resiliently holding onto the flickering hope that somewhere, somehow, affection will finally find its way into his world, stitching together the fragmented pieces of their fractured past.

In the tapestry of his existence, the absence of nurturing affection is a stark thread that runs through every experience. He learned to cloak his yearning in veils of self-reliance, crafting a facade of independence to shield the vulnerability within. The memories of hollow celebrations of his unaccompanied birthdays and silent nights echo within, shaping a hunger for connection that transcends the superficiality of mere companionship.. He yearns for more.

You changed him.

The moment you entered his life, colours blossomed. Art formed. You were a gallery full of surprises and you never ceased to amaze him every single time. Celebrations were held together. Whether it was formed between your mutual friends or by the two of you alone. Beneath it all, hid his tender affection for you.

In the dance of admiration, you yearned to express love to another who endured the neglect might tread delicately yet deliberately. You infuse your actions with tender mindfulness, understanding the delicate nuances that embody care and attention.

Whether it may be big as offering objects in your attempts to allow him to see you truly do care. Or whether you grab him gently by the shoulders and take away the newspaper clutched in his hands to pepper his soft face with endless kisses that will forever leave a lingering mark on his face, far more cherishing and better than the scars left on his mind from the abandonment due on his mind. .

Each touch, big or small, gives him a sweet impression of you in his head that he'll remember for a life time.

He melts. Literally, physically melts. He cannot contain himself from being so giddy inside when he had your body completely atop him, arms dangled across his shoulders just to put a bite on his bottom lip, pressured with the soft pecks you'd give on him as you see could almost hallucinate him to have his literal pupils dilated with the shape of a heart.

Catch him off guard when you walk by, biting his neck softly and applying soft nuzzles after.

The never ending joy you'd get when you aggressively pull him into a kiss, so deep and so red, it made it impossible for him to think coherent thoughts when he's with you. Or the weak moments where you're being gentle with him one minute, and the next second you feel the urge to literally bombard his face with soft bites and rough kisses.

He doesn't mind, it's hot, really.

Maybe it's assumed that his own pups give him rough kisses on the cheek and soft puppy licks like that too so maybe he's accustomed to that sort of thing, but it's so much more different and meaningful when you do it..

For someone who lacked much of the attention when they were young, it changes how they see the world as a whole.

God,, How could I describe how he feels when you shower him in the praise he always needed? Always wanted?

Always desired.

God,, he could marry you on the spot.

Pavia's heart swelled inexplicably, as if a symphony of emotions orchestrated an intricate dance within his chest. As if to say, if you were to stop now, he'd be dreadfully fucked over. Emotionally,, and physically.

He mentally marked down your name in everything. The hungry peck you gave him this morning? He's still thinking of it when he slits a knife down a man's neck.

The hickey you left on his neck from the afternoon he took a break off his job so the both of you can get away and have some moments peace together? he's thinking about snatching the rich necklace of a man he carved who planned to sell it to his wife.

Surely they didn't need such things right? It would look far better on your neck than hers any how.

Moments where Pavia would kiss you under dim light when he returns home are the best moments. It's either raining, his favourite weather pouring it down while he gets to be with his S/O to crave, cuddle and watch the static of the radio buzzing his favourite news report around.

You were sure he's been with a few people before, but none of them were you. None of them cared about him the way you do. — By the Gods themselves, this beautiful chaos, an overwhelming sensation surged, a tempest of emotions he struggled to contain.

Flusteredness enveloped Pavia like an unexpected gust of wind, leaving his speech tangled in a labyrinth of words. His cheeks, once the canvas of a tranquil dawn, now painted with the fervent hues of a scarlet sunset, betrayed the whirlwind of emotions brewing within.

“ I didn't know you cared about me so much. What do you want from me? " He'd murmur in a laugh, fingers entangled as you refused to stop kissing his lips. His whimpers, soft spoken and eager, he couldn't muster the courage to ask you to continue. But it came out in the form of his stuttering and genuine voice that grappled onto every lingering touch you glaze him with.

He trusts you won't leave his side permanently.

You may whisk away for a bit to have your own space but when you come back, just know a puppy-lover of a boyfriend awaits you to give him those tender kisses you spoil him rotten with. So don't forget how much of a big role you play in his life. Okay? <3

#reverse 1999 #pavia #pavia reverse 1999 #reverse #paviarev1999 #r99 pavia #pavia x reader #reverse 1999 pavia #pavia fluff #pavia reverse 1999 x reader #r1999 pavia #pavia affection #drabbles #headcanons #pavia headcanons

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rinbowaman · 1 year

Text

My Girlfriends Roommate - Chapter 12 FINALE! (18+) Minors DNI

WARNINGS: Pain and breeding kink is strong with this one. Rough sex, rough, rough, and rough! There's internal monologue, mentioning of God, talking to God, talking to each other through internal monologue, emotional connection, and lots of graphic scenes that is descriptive. Again this was an original fic I drafted with the main characters names changed, they're ones i created entirely on my own and their personalities do not reflect any of the real person(s) that are Enhypen. Just wanna throw that out there.

There will be a sequel, that's another original piece I did that I'll have to re-edit, but I'll wait and see how this series does and how receptive it is. Sequel is My Roommate's Ex, its alot, ALOT shorter than this series, but is alot jucier (really juicy actually, alot of you will probably be shocked)

MGR pretty much did all the work as far as the build up and relationship development, which is why there are so many chapters.

With that said, if you enjoy it, please either message or comment so I know it will be worth my time to re-edit the sequel and other works that I have drafted years ago. :) Take care loves and remember to love yourself and MGR Heesueng loves you.

“God,

It’s been a while huh. Or maybe you never heard me to begin with. Its not my fault, I couldn’t reach out. I couldn’t get through to you. But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore because I no longer need an answer from you.

I used to think you were testing me. Wondered if you had other plans for me. Thinking you were telling me to broaden my horizons.

Remember all those “potential” candidates you put my way? You know. The ones that made promises that, no matter the time or distance apart, they would be loyal… humble…display unconditional love, yet they never followed through even when times were peaceful. Yeah, those ones.

I used to wonder “why?” Why was it so hard to find what others found so easy to throw away? My friends, my brother, my father…

Even for someone like Gabe, to earn Vicky’s trust and devotion and used it against her, when I was the one who yearned and respected it. To the point where, for so long, I repeatedly dismissed the acts of her betrayal when I secretly found out just how grounded their relationship really was, physically and emotionally.

Why was it so easy for everyone to find it, yet impossible for me when I was the one searching? As if I was doing all the work for them.

Maybe I shouldn’t had been so eager to crave companionship, but you made me that way, didn’t you? Hehehe. I could never understand why you gave me demons when I asked for angels. Whenever I saw the happiness of any man, God…only you know…I hated the world. The beasts inside me wanted to burn this whole place down and end it. I was tired of everyone getting the one thing I couldn’t.

Was it wrong?

Considering the number of times, I’ve been let down, was it wrong for me to secretly wish for the demise of other people’s happiness?

Was it wrong for me to get jealous when Jay’s smile grew wider, Sunghoon’s meaning in life grew deeper, or when Jakes voice got higher…was it wrong for me to feign happiness when I hoped for chaos and turbulence?

There wasn’t a day I wanted to wake up from sleep. At least then, I wouldn’t have to think about it. Just dream of it. It was less lonely that way. But now…I don’t have to look forward to sleep. I don’t have to be happy only in my dreams, do I?

I have her. The one you sculpted to be more beautiful than the sun and moon. Yes…her. Her in front of me.

She is the one and only thing that I had been searching for since I became a man. She is the shelter I was asking for when I am so far from home. She is the most beautiful inside and out, and nothing makes sense without her.

She is the sole comfort in my life, and for once, I don’t have to worry about a single thing. You gave her wings, yet she chooses to walk beside me.”

Heeseung’s momentum was the exact opposite of Samuels. You couldn’t help but compare the two, after all, Samuel was the only other experience you had, and within the eight months of your union, you shared that experience with him countless times. Every single moment where you gave him access to your womanhood, while it was pleasant, it wasn’t as invigorating as it was now. Even on nights when Samuel was a hard lover and less soothing in his performance, you had no idea that the vigor of any man could surpass the levels he displayed.

You didn’t know any better until Heeseung entered. He was rough, he was hard, and he was fast. He wasn’t making love; he was fucking you. But somehow, perhaps due to the level of sentimental connection that you both seem to share with each other, you just knew that while he was fucking you, he did so lovingly.

Everything you needed and wanted in life; he was fucking it into you.

He fucked the tears you cried that night. He fucked the smiles that were deceived out of you by Samuels lies. He fucked the pain of reading his words of betrayal. He fucked the joy you felt at having someone to come home to. He fucked the screams coming out of your mouth right now as he pounds into you, creating a soreness each time his groin slaps against you. He fucked the laughter you shared with friends and family during the peaceful moments in life.

But most importantly, he fucked all his love inside you; as well as the pain, jealousy, anger, and disappointment he experienced. He fucked every single ounce of it into your core and watched the true beauty of metamorphosis to occur as all his burdens turned into the gasping moans coming out of you, soothing and healing him.

With pleasure and pain, you took it all in helplessly as he fucked all his thoughts and desires. You not only loved every single bit of it, you wanted more.

He fucked roses. Roses you grew for Samuel, that you nurtured and watered with the tears you shed that night, all blooming because of Heeseung.

He fucked blue. The color of the sky, that you loved so much, is now the color of your energy.

He fucked the moon and sun. The eclipse of his heart embracing yours. He fucked you into Heaven and Earth.

Heeseung was doing more than just healing, he was showing the amount of love and devotion a man could ever develop for any woman. He was taking care of you in ways that no other man would ever be smart enough to do on his own. He fucks into you relentlessly, all things good and bad, and it was the most terrible and beautiful thing you’ve ever felt. The echoing voice translates the beauty of Heeseung’s love into to the deepest trenches of your soul, hoping that his heart would hear.

“He fucks me…he loves me. He shelters me by coating the skin on my body with his tongue.

God, he is fucking me and he’s doing it so good.

Oh God, I love it when he fucks me.

Could anyone with a human heart ever understand?

Could you? With your almighty heart and values in creation of mankind? Could you understand that what he is doing to me is the very thing I never knew I needed?

I don’t ever want him to stop. I want him to fuck me every day. I want him to fuck me every night. I want him to do everything to me. Just…want him to….fuck…”

His pace increases, his thrusts go deeper, and your head suspends your features to flush with the ceiling, moaning, and screaming. The vibrations of the echoes in your voice dances in the room, bouncing off the walls, the buzzing swims into both your ears as he holds you, steady as possible, while giving you everything he’s got. The ferocity of Greek Gods couldn’t even compare to Heeseung’s own.

The back of your head presses away from the headboard, you lean your face forward and introduce your cries into his mouth, engaged in the most passionate exchanging of wet kisses. The flicking of your tongues migrating from left to right, up and down, and in and out.

Your hands around his broad shoulders, your body lost all contact with the headboard as you have now completely relied on his body to fully support you. Not that it was a surprise, it was still impressive that Heeseung’s strength carried the weight of two bodies effortlessly.

You fall dense on his form; it was hard and warm. You were inching closer to a heightened state of euphoria as you bounced when you received each raging thrust.

The view of your hair flowing all around, dancing against your skin was a sight to behold. The sight of your breasts in bouncing motion from the thrusting impact enabled him to feel the desire to continue. But not just for the pleasure he was feeling from fucking you, it was so he could keep watching the evolution of your beauty taking place before him, all because of the awfully pleasant things he was doing to you. Things that are every father’s worst nightmare.

Your beauty just continuously amazes him, from the moment he met you he did everything in his power to not overindulge the mesmerizing image of you since he was trying to remain committed to Vicky, even if it was all mental. But he couldn’t, he wasn’t strong enough. You were intoxicating and no matter how he tried to distract himself from you, he was always brought back to your image.

Now that he got to see you in such a vulnerable state, he learned that you weren’t just beautiful when smiling, laughing, and looking at him intently with those dangerous eyes, he now discovered that you were just as beautiful, if not more so, when your face was stained with the pain of his penetration or the pleasure of him hitting your spot.

You were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, an ancient glory of the world’s creation. Enabled by wanting to see more sides of you, he takes sinful act of performance to a speed that is unsearchable. And God, you lost it. Grabbing on to his chest, your strength drains out of you as your fingers drag down. You found yourself re-gripping your hold on his chest or his biceps, alternating as the high momentum of your bouncing form caused you to lose your handling. Your chest felt sore as you hyperventilate, and a combination of gasps and moans shot out of you violently.

“He fucks me.” “I fuck her.”

The slapping of on and off skin contact from his penetration accompanies your screams of pleasure. The feeling was so intense, and while you were pretty sure everyone could hear it, you knew that no one was going to do anything about it and, upon discovering his Heaven and Earth, you hope it stayed that way. The traffic of air escaping you causes your mouth to dry up, the flesh of your womb bruising from his explicit and merciless act; the moist flesh that binds around his cock continues to leak, allowing him to fuck you more easily, regardless of how tightly you were wrapped around him.

“He loves me.” “I love her.”

The sweat glistening your bodies, took part in transforming the movements from steady and neat to sloppy and shaky. Along with the explosion of pleasure and sexual power, you both were losing all sense of humanism, becoming animalistic and primitive instead. The mashing of his balls into your taint furthered the pleasure you were experiencing as you kept taking him in, permitting him to forge his sexual satisfaction inside your delicate and fragile body.

You never want to lose this. The thought of having him motivated you to raise and cross your arms around his neck; he knew the meaning behind this notion and just like you, he felt the same. Putting any remaining gaps in between your bodies to rest in peace, as he tightened his wrap around you.

His arms are parallel to each other as they remain firmly wrapped around your back, both hands reaching and touching your breasts from each side as he used the bulk of strength from his core to lift, pull, and push you up and down his cock, coating it with the slick gush of your pleasure. His knees were starting to grow weary from the strain of supporting you both, yet the pleasure of fucking you so beautifully gave him the strength to keep going.

“Please God, let him stay.” “I won’t leave you baby. I’m staying.”

Still exchanging the kisses, that have too now become sloppy, you began to feel like you were dying inside, the pleasure was too overwhelming, and you lost feeling in your fingers, finding it difficult to tell if you were touching his skin every time you dug the tips in. You have grown completely numb as your legs begin to slack off, their wrap around his waist loosens and the alternation of your bouncing of your body and the impact of his thrusts promotes them to slide and fall off.

Sensing you were growing weaker and faltering, he takes his arm and catches one of your legs from falling completely down, remaining hold of it. He places a reach around from the inside, placing his hand on your waist as his arm snakes your thigh, looping it from falling, maintaining some bit of integrity with the position as you continue getting fucked.

“I want him.” “I want her.”

You feel yourself growing too weak, your vision begins to tunnel as a thick ring of darkness slowly narrows your limited vision. Your arms wrapped around his neck begins to loosen and you found it more comfortable to place your hands back on his biceps, allowing them to rest on them since you lacked the strength to hold them in place. You can barely hold on. Your moans, while still maintaining volume, have decreased, the tone of your vocal cords no longer had the strength to push out solid sound, just a slight dying tone accompanying a whispering gasp as you took on ever other breath trying to find a way to re- stabilize your stamina so that it would match his.

A sudden swarm of defeat informs ceases you from doing anything. It was finally here.

You begin to feel the sharpness of your orgasm to penetrate deep into your stomach and chest each time his cock thrusted into you. Your legs shake violently, and your body is reaching a mode of panic as it jolts as you feel your hips gyrate against his groin. Though you’ve never experienced this, you knew of the feeling from the talk of friends, you were getting close. Really close.

Your body’s message to your brain is contradicting, it wants you to tell him to stop, to not proceed any further due to the overstimulation being unbearable. Yet, confusingly, it wanted him to continue, not just that, but it compelled you to move along with his rhythm and aid his quest for a release.

“God…please let him be the one and only one.”

“It’s me and you forever baby, I’ll always be the one to give it to you. Just me…and you….me fucking you… always.”

No words were exchanged, just the sound of your gasps and his groans and heavy breathing fills the hollowness of the room. Regardless, you both felt and heard each other’s tone of endearment as you communicate through the moans of pleasure. Your hips roll vigorously as you felt his cock begin to pulsate. He was also close, and his breathing began to shorten. His gasping breaths grew louder and more frequent, in sync with his thrusts. You loved the sound of his voice reflecting his actions towards you. It was capturing your independence and the sole entity of your being as you embraced the concept of being completely owned by him.

“I never want to be away from him.”

“Come with me.”

“I want to build a home with him.

"Marry me.”

“I want to carry his legacy.”

“Be the mother of my children.”

You both have reached the same altitude of the orgasmic high as his sloppy thrusts, receiving a boost of stamina from the turmoil of ecstasy in his core, become harder and faster. He was going into you deeper, to the point that your body reacted by jolting upwards. Your hands pushed against his biceps as you desperately try to remain suspended in hopes to inhibit him from breaking into you further, trying your best to prevent him going in too deep.

But Heeseung’s arm around your waist, which up until this very moment had been supporting you, works against you as he reaches up to the back of your shoulder, grabbing hold to push you down steadily and firmly, holding you in place as he continues his desire to extend his reach inside of you. He feels himself tearing your open parts that would be unreachable for any other man. He pushes, tears, rips, and separates you.

You found your voice as you let out a murderous scream, letting out everything ranging from yelling out his name and your desperate pleas begging for mercy, which he did not honor. To your painful horror he kept going while attaching his open mouth against your ear, placing soft kisses on your helix. Your remained facing off to the side, giving him full access to your ear as you try to find some sort of comfort from his kisses, in hopes that it would distract you from the pain. It didn’t, fact is, there was nothing that could ease, let alone save you.

You lose your mind. You lose sight, hearing, and the ability to think as your body is forced to take in all his power. The moisture inside you grows, it was your body’s response to the trauma, as if making it easier for him to slide in and out was going to help take the shock of pain away from him ripping into you, reaching a spot inside. A spot in every woman’s body that should never be breached.

The union of your fluids was formulating inside you, starts to seep out from whenever he thrusted, dripping down his cock and eventually creating a pool on the bed spread. Your mind has become blank with darkness, the pain starts to become tolerable as your orgasm trinkles in, starting off light and increases to the triggering point where the explosive punch from deep within your core takes place.

At that moment, the worst pain you felt at the hands of this man became worth dealing with as a nuclear effect causes your mind, body, and soul to be covered by a blanket of overwhelming pleasure.

Your scream was high in desperation from succumbing to that pleasure and pain. He loved hearing it, but he had, though barely, enough sense to stay mindful that you both were still in a dorm room. He loosens his grip and shoots his hand to extend passed the back of your shoulder, reaching from behind the base of your neck and around to the side of your face, covering your mouth. He loved the feeling of collecting your pants with his palm, the heat and condensation from it all being a mark of his victory.

Prior to muffling it, the sound of your scream brought him the most happiness he’s felt in a long time. He hated that he had to cover it, but he felt grateful that he was at least able to hear and memorize it before forcing it back into your mouth through the barricade of his hand.

Your body goes limp yet continues to shake in thunderous waves all over as the high from your intense orgasm pelted you with kisses of pleasure. It gave you wings. Heeseung’s orgasm follows suit after feeling the palpations of your walls clenching and pulsating against him at a rapid rate. There was an indescribable feeling of pleasure and joy within him as he felt the filtering release of his cum seeping deep inside you, painting your walls as white as the clouds in the sky.

All his children swim inside you, dancing joyfully upon finally meeting the warmth, comfort, and protection of their mother. Sealing your lips with another tender kiss, you both remain in position at a standstill. His cock resting inside you, you’re almost certain he was still releasing his fluid, which you willingly accept and take in. You receive his kiss as you enjoy the first and unfertilized stages from the act of procreation, and you embrace the concept of motherhood even if his offspring were in their microscopic form.

“My beautiful girl…I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to worry about a thing. From now on, tell me what he’s done to you, and I’ll fix it.

Tell me you want a castle, I’ll build it.

Tell me you want the world, I’ll give it.

I’ll give everything, whether it’s my life or the sounds of the ocean, I’ll give you everything you want. It’s the least I can do, I’m so grateful.

I’m grateful to you.

I’m grateful to the love and creativity of your parents when they made you.

I’m grateful to him for giving you up.

I’m grateful to God for choosing you as his favorite. I’m grateful I get to keep you.

I’m grateful to the world, for once. I’m eternally grateful for finding you and even more so as I get to look forward an eternity with you.”

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johaerys-writes · 7 months

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As Fate Would Have It

Achilles/Patroclus | E | Ch. 2/?

Read on AO3!

“So what is it really like, being the prince’s therapon?”

Patroclus scowls into his cup. Ever since the day Achilles chose him, people left and right have not stopped asking him about it. Everyone is hungry to know what their strange, demigod prince is like behind closed doors—what it’s like to attend him. Personally. They always lower their voice and give him that conspiratorial smile, too, as if it is some great mystery or secret.

“What do you want me to say, Eurydamas? I’ve already told you.”

“Yes, you’ve told us that being a therapon is the most pointless and tedious duty you’ve ever had to perform. We know. But we want details, man,” Eurydamas tells him with curious, excited, glittering eyes.

“All the juicy, sordid details, if you please,” Automedon adds. “And be quick about it, I don’t have all night. That new serving girl has been eyeing me since yesterday.” He raises his cup and winks at the girl, a pretty little thing with long black hair and eyes the colour of honey. She blushes and turns away, tending to her work.

“You’d think you smell of cabbages the way she keeps a wide berth from you, cousin,” Alcimedon laughs, and gets a slap upside his head from Automedon for his troubles.

“Shut up and let the man talk,” Automedon tells the younger boy.

Patroclus rolls his eyes. “The prince, since you’re all burning to know, is a stuck up lordling who simply wants someone to follow him around in case his lordly feet get sore and he needs to be lordily carried back to his rooms, I suppose,” he says with bitter sarcasm. “Not that I would know. He barely speaks to anyone below his station. I guess that includes me.”

“Nah,” Automedon says. “Not buying it.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve all heard him talk to you. Just last night, before dinner? He said: ‘Patroclus, son of Menoetius, you whom I cherish more than my own life; godlike as you are, please attend me while I perform the holy rites for the gods to bless our meal.’”

“He just wanted me to hand him the incense and the wine for the libation!” Patroclus protests while the others snicker. “That’s nothing. He— he just does that for show. He's... very religious.”

“He certainly doesn’t call me godlike. Or the love of his life,” Alcimedon guffaws, and earns himself another slap by Automedon.

Patroclus chuckles despite himself. Though his friends are often beyond ridiculous, he has still missed their company. He has missed training and sparring and joking around with them, and he has missed having the singular goal of training to become the best soldier he can be for Peleus’ army. That was all he cared about a week ago, and what he worked towards. It didn’t matter that he was just one among the many exiles that regularly wash up at Phthia’s gates; the boys were all treated the same, no distinctions among them, and one day they could still claim glory for Phthia and a name for themselves.

It wasn’t always easy: Patroclus remembers well how numb and scared he’d been when he’d arrived, his nightmares, his more than embarrassing performance at the training yard. He had even tried to hide away in a storeroom once, crouching behind the big amphorae full of olive oil, but the arms-master had soon found him and dragged him back by his ear. Each day that he showed up he became a little better, a little stronger, a little more agile. Soon, he could spar with the other boys, and soon after that he could beat them, too. He found friends and comrades in those boys who were as lost as he was, a family of his very own. Even when they annoy him to no end, Patroclus still yearns for the simplicity and ease of their companionship.

Which is more than he can say about prince Achilles and his new duties, for the sake of which he has left all of that behind.

Everyone expects there to be some magical secret hidden behind the prince’s stoic and stony facade, but if there is, Patroclus has yet to glimpse it. Most of the day, Patroclus simply follows him around from one lesson to the next: music, philosophy, arithmetics, rhetoric. There is a host of tutors that Peleus has brought from all over Greece to instruct his precious son in all matters of art, thought and leadership, not to mention the ‘lessons’ the old king gives himself. Every evening, he sits Achilles close to him by the fire and tells him all about his past exploits and adventures, the wars he’s fought in, the stories he’s heard or that have been passed down from generation to generation of Aecides.

That particular part of his duties Patroclus doesn’t begrudge too much. He’s always loved listening to stories, seeing the blood-soaked battlefields or tumultuous seas or magical groves in his mind’s eye. He likes sitting cross-legged on the thick furs beside Achilles, nursing his wine as Peleus talks on and on in his deep, soothing voice, imagining it is he on a quest to find the Golden Fleece, taming the waves or battling the Gegenees, the six-armed monsters. In those moments, it is easy to pretend that Peleus is telling those stories for Patroclus’ benefit as well, that he is part of that family.

The illusion is always shattered soon after, however, when the king finally doses, and Achilles stands up. Then, Patroclus has to follow him back to his quarters in silence, as if he’s nothing but a loyal hound, and sleep in his cold and lonely bed in the prince’s even colder and silent bedroom.

There is only one place where Patroclus doesn’t follow Achilles. And that is the prince’s very own, secluded training yard: the place where he every day, without fail, practises his spear and his sword and his bows in perfect solitude, with no other eyes on him but the gods’.

Patroclus had found that odd. He had thought that since Peleus had gone to the trouble of bringing world renowned instructors for everything else, the person he would bring to instruct Achilles in the arts of war would be the most famed and skilled yet. Patroclus had been eager to meet them, but once they’d reached the door of the yard Achilles had sharply instructed Patroclus that he was to train alone, and not to be disturbed by anyone under any circumstances.

Not even by you, my most trusted and beloved companion, he’d said, and inclined his head with practised, ceremonious politeness, before he’d turned around and left him alone in the shadows of the hallway.

“‘Trusted and beloved’, my ass,” Patroclus scoffs quietly to himself, words muffled behind the rim of his cup. How does Achilles even come up with the things he says? There is no love between them. Anyone with eyes can see that.

He slants a baleful look up at the dais, at the king’s table, where Achilles is talking with Phoenix, his childhood tutor. Phoenix is laughing at his own joke and Achilles smiles; the smile only barely reaches his eyes but it is still ever so slightly tinged with affection. It is certainly more, so much more than Patroclus has gotten from him so far. Patroclus doubts Achilles has even a modicum of love in his icy bones; if he does, he has none at all to spare for Patroclus, or any other servant. For that is what Patroclus truly is. Achilles had seemed more than happy to dismiss him earlier, giving him only a sharp and somewhat curt nod when Patroclus had asked for permission to sit with his friends.

Patroclus looks away, willing himself to be glad that he chose to sit with Eurydamas, Automedon and Alcimedon tonight, rather than wilt of boredom by the prince’s side.

“Would you like some more wine, my lord?”

The serving girl that Automedon has had his eye on all night is standing above him with her pitcher of wine in her hands, her expression warm and hopeful.

That, too, has changed since becoming Achilles’ therapon . When most servants barely paid any attention to him before, considering him only barely above them in matters of rank, and sometimes even lower, now they speak to him with deference, quickly replenishing his wine when it’s finished and bringing him the best cuts of meat even when he isn’t sitting by the prince’s side. They all recognise him as the prince’s sworn man; no one wants to be the cause of his displeasure now that they all think he has Achilles’ ear.

Patroclus hurriedly wipes the scowl away from his own face and smiles tightly at her, offering his cup.

“Thank you. But I am no lord. Please, just call me Patroclus.”

Read the rest on AO3!

#patrochilles #achilles #the song of achilles #patroclus #tsoa #hades game #the iliad #homer's iliad #omegaverse #achilles/patroclus #achilles x patroclus #johaerys writes

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summers-pratt · 2 years

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can we get spike being victorian headcannons or cannons? and giles being like "wow victorian much?" or whatever

Um yes you can oh my goodness Spike being a Victorian is one of my favorite things

-so Victorian Courting went about like this: first two people just started talking, conversating and such, then they would go on Walks, usually with a chaperone, then they would attend social functions together, they would spend time at each other's homes with their families, then they would become engaged. Spike ticks all these boxes with Buffy, specifically in season 5: they talk, a lot- it might just be her busting into his crypt for information, or him popping up to make a comment during patrol, but it counts to him. They go on walks- they patrol together (well, he shows up when she's on patrol and then he walks next to her while annoying her but again, he counts that), they look for Dawn together. They go to social events together, mostly at the bronze- I'm thinking the Fool For Love date interrogation during which they play pool, I'm thinking him dressing in drag in Crush, they both are at that spring break party in I Was Made to Love You (again, he thinks them just both being there counts, regardless of whether or not he showed up specifically to seek her out). He spends time with her family (Lover's Walk, Crush, in Checkpoint she leaves them with him to protect). So like, in his own vampirey way, he is courting her like the lovelorn Victorian he is.

-apparently the concept of love at first sight originated in the Victorian Era and while I don't think it was love at first sight (side note my phone autocorrected sight to fight lmao that might be more accurate tbh) I do think the notion is something William would've yearned for and dreamed about and wrote about

-also something that gained popularity in England in this era was "companionate marriage" which is pretty much marrying for love, rather than strategically for social and economic reasons. I feel like this is touched on in flashbacks but that's absolutely what William wanted, he wanted love, and a partnership, a companionship, in that love

-we know he stands up for her in The I in Team so (@disco-tea voice) what if he just Does that all the time, she enters a room, he stands up. At first she's like "what the fuck are you doing you freak" but eventually she gets used to it and it's just another Spike thing that she grows to love. (The scoobies still think he's a freak but that's nothing new)

-when Buffy uses his first name his brain shuts off (I am citing my sources)

-he opens doors for Buffy, which we see in Crush, but once they are Together he does it all the time without even thinking about it, it's just what he does, he and Buffy are walking through a door, Buffy's getting out of a car, he opens the door for her

-he is obsessed with Buffy's hair and part of that is Buffy and part of that is because Victorian women didn't leave their hair down in public unless they were children or prostitutes or maybe respected spinsters so seeing long hair flowing in the breeze is like "WEEWOOWEEWOO AOOOGA"

-this is kind of Victorian adjacent but he has no idea who the queen is. Last he checked it was Victoria and he hasn't cared since. Dawn asks him for a history assignment and he says Victoria and she's like "ok I know for a fact that that's not true" and he's like "??? Really? Huh. Well definitely one of her kids. Or grandkids. Probably."

-so nipple piercings were a big thing for like two years around 1890 and I don't think the whirlwind would've been in England still/again so I think he would've missed that trend. However. Dawn being the nerd she is learns about it and mercilessly teases Spike about it and insists he must've had them (because he is a freaky victorian vampire and nipple piercings just make Sense). Eventually he one ups her and actually gets his nipples pierced to Win. Dawn laughs for a solid ten minutes and Buffy doesn't know what to do with herself (she figures it out eventually :))

-he still writes like a victorian, all cursive and fancy, and half the time no one can read his writing bc yes it looks nice but no one uses cursive anymore and also he writes fast bc his brain also works fast so it comes out sloppy (Buffy also has this disease. Dawn is Suffering with her lovely and easy to decipher font-like handwriting.)

-also this comment

#anon im sorry these dont circle back to giles being like 👀 i forgot to refer to the prompt my ap english teacher would be so disappointed #but anything he does that is undeniably gentlemanly giles clocks bc hes a Father and also british #and maybe he does mock spike once he learns hes a victorian. it's his right as his father in law.#ask

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bloodsworn-marshal · 8 months

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Writing Prompt: Barbarous Word Count: 1277 Bandit AU

The bandit leader exhaled a shaky breath. His fists clenched and his nerves on fire as he made a most bold proclamation. A rare sight to behold as he expressed his true feelings—those he had held under wraps all this time, for many moons. Fumbling as he tried to think of an eloquent way to about it before ultimately blurting the words on his mind.

“I… like you a lot! You mean a lot to me.”

Pipin Tarupin was never a man who knew romantics. Nor the ways of being gentle, charming, or anything of the sort when it came to courtship. Always true to himself—no matter how ugly that true self ended up being.

Instead you would find a man to be the very opposite. Rude. Stubborn. Full of himself. Quick to lose his temper. Acted on impulse and usually would refuse to own up to any wrongs done. The worst of the worst you could have ever asked for in a man, with an ego and pride too big to allow for other’s well-being in his mind.

Yet here he confessed nonetheless. This ache that had been lingering on his heart of late that dare not leave him be. A pestering that he did not quite understand, but realized it had to do with the lass before him— how had he fallen for her? This girl he had made his captive? Stolen from all that she knew and threatened on a constant basis? And should have every reason in the books not to make his own?

The heart yearned regardless if he understood it or not. These strange feelings that had welled up every time they fought, every time they bickered to bitterest end. Some form of odd companionship made between the two.

Adede’s response?

“Yeah, right…”

Instantly did his heart sink. And just as swiftly did his temper give rise as he took an angry step forward.

“I mean it! I care about you! Why can’t you just see it—”

Tension flared between the two. The signs of yet another fight as they were wont to do. But the lass was having none of it. The darkness shrouding her eyes said as much.

“See what? Us?” Her laughter rang hollow, filled with bitterness as she turned away. “You’ve made bad jokes before, but this is by far one of your worst.”

She stepped away towards her room, slamming the door behind herself. And the bandit leader… stood there crestfallen. Having been a little too forward with his emotions only to have it smashed into the ground before he could explain. With nowhere to direct these dreadful feelings welling up from within, his fists flew into the nearest wall in frustration.

It was his falt. He knew as much.

All because of how they met. In worst of circumstances, at each other’s throats, blaming one another for each other’s woes. Him most of all. He couldn’t let her go though. As much as she presented her case that she wasn’t needed there under his watchful eye, that she only wished to go home—that paranoia of screwing up would not leave him.

She knew their base so well now. She probably had a good idea of where they were located too. Even if she were as safe as she swore to be, would she not just as easily turn them all in? Help the authorities be rid of them once and for all?

The risk was too high. Pipin gambled too much as it is for the safety of his crew and remaining a secret. The good and the bad within him throwing fisticuffs at one another as he debated each day of letting her go. Only to selfishly keep her there. Was it out of possessiveness at this point? Had she just become too ingrained with the rest of the other bandits? Did he… truly want her to stay because he liked her?

It was too much. He dare not think about it further. Only sulking away back to his room to lick the wounds of his battered ego. Mayhaps it a cruel joke on his part indeed…

---

More time had passed since then and while they managed to mend their relationship enough to a point where they were talking again, what Pipin had said to her remained better off left forgotten. Not a single word of it. Why should it come up again, if only to find his pride bruised yet again?

One day however, they were out and about away from the hidden hideout. Stocking up on supplies in a nearby village, with Pipin waiting outside of town whilst watching over Adede. She pleaded to come with, to get some sunlight and a little freedom from being cooped up underground for so long. Swearing up and down that she would not run for it. Pipin begrudgingly allowed for it eventually, so long as she remained in his sights.

All was well and going fine. They’d be leaving soon once the others in town returned. But suddenly—a fearful cry filled the air. The familiar voice of Adede nearby as she had rounded the corner when he wasn’t looking, and thus found herself in a tough spot as a large sand worm had roamed into her path. A sickening crunching sound all the while as it fed on fresh prey… right before her.

The bandit leader leapt into action and wedged himself in between the worm and Adede, forcing her to look at his backside instead. An ominous aura emanating from him as he hissed back at her. “Don’t look. I’ll take care of this.”

In a flash he felled the beast. Swiping at it with razor sharp daggers that easily cut it into pieces. What remained of it splattering down upon the ground before going still.

When Pipin whirled around on her, one would have thought he would have raised his voice then and there. Call her an idiot for wandering off, that she was just begging for death… all numbers of insults he could have flung at her, but none passed his lips. In fact, he looked… relieved?

Nothing was really said between the two until they returned back to the hideout. And once they had a moment’s peace, Adede mumbled to herself before catching Pipin by the hand.

“Thanks… for earlier.”

He simply blinked and shook his head. “I did it because I wanted to. No need to thank me.”

…Yet she thanked him once more. For once grateful that he had been there for her and came to her rescue. Brash and scary as he was, in this moment alone he showed himself capable of more than just.

---

“So… did you actually mean what you had said?”

A confused blink upon Pipin’s face as he wondered what Adede was referring to. After repeating herself and emphasizing on what she meant, he grunted before placing his head in his hands.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

She appeared hurt by his non answer…tensing up for what he might blurt out next. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I was just wondering is all.”

Awkward silence filled the air. His answer did not come immediately But when it eventually would…

“I did.” He admitted, grumbling as he turned face and began to trudge off. “And I still do.”

Adede stood there stunned. Her cheeks turning a bright red as he left her alone in her thoughts.

Mayhaps it truly is more than just a cruel joke… and mayhaps she was beginning to accept her place in this rough bandit leader’s life.

#ffxiv #bandit au #writing #ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2023

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thatdemiboymess · 2 years

Text

I want to experience humanity. I want to experience all the love, and kindness, and compassion, and hilarity, and understanding that we as a species are capable of. I want to experience it more than anything, right now. I am crying from the sheer weight of my yearning to experience the positive aspects of humanity again, just once again, please. I want to once again experience human joy, and passion, and kindness, and love, and creativity, and awkwardness, and laughter. I want companionship, and understanding, and enjoyment, and happiness. I want to create, and heal, and thrive. I want to watch others create, heal, and thrive. All of this, free of worry and hardship - just people being people in the most glorious and jubilant of ways. And I'm so distraught because it feels like I'll never get to experience any of this ever again. It's just been so long. Too long, it feels like, and I'm so very lonely. I want to go on casually intimate late night walks with a friend where we talk about our day, our night, our problems, anything and everything, just as long as we're together. I want to stop at a cheap 24/7 fast food place at midnight with someone and eat outside with them in comfortable silence and stare at the sky side by side. I want to sit around a computer with people I care about and laugh at dumb memes or find weird things to watch with them that we might leave playing if we leave because we weren't really paying attention to it, anyways. I want to go on late night errands with someone so we can experience the calm of a liminal space together while getting things done. I want to sit inside while everyone in the room plays their own game, or does their own thing, and occasionally share bits of what we're doing with each other. I want to lie in bed with people I love and care about side by side until we all fall asleep. I want to order cheap food to the apartment so we can all have something we like that we can eat together while we talk. I want to be there to hold someone important to me when they need it. I want to window shop with someone even if neither of us can afford anything just because we want to spend time together and that was the first thing we thought of. I want to have someone I can be human with, again. Yet, at the same time, I want to know how to stop missing people. How do you stop missing doing inane, casually intimate, things with people who used to be your friends but who drifted away or cut you out of their lives? I'm tired of yearning for people who haven't been in my life for years, now, but I swear it still feels like I was still talking to them just yesterday, sometimes, and I'm so so lonely when I remember that that isn't the case because we haven't spoke in years. Even though there's a chance they don't even think about me anymore I still think about them so very often and I yearn for them and the stupid things we did together and I don't know how to let go and make it stop. How do you let go? How do I make this stop?

#venting a lil bit #emotional venting #personal vent #vent #vent post #yearning #grief

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yanderes-galore · 11 months

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oooh can you write a yandere concept for the Huntress (dbd)?

Decided to merge the two to get two requests done due to her acting similar in the two situations. Takes place pre-fog.

Yandere! The Huntress (Anna) Concept

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Kidnapping, Dubious relationship, Violence, Murder, Animalistic behavior, Forced companionship, Restraints, Vomit mention, Gore, Clingy behavior, Overprotective behavior, Blood, Possessive behavior, Stockholm syndrome, Delusional behavior.

When it comes to Anna I feel she doesn't entirely know the difference between platonic and romantic feelings.

Think about it, she's lived isolated out in the woods without people at a young age.

When she still had her mother she only had her mother so she most likely doesn't know how couples work.

Which means her yandere obsession is most likely always dubious.

This is why she acts the same no matter her yandere type.

Her darling would have to educate her on the difference... and I highly doubt you're doing that willingly.

For the most part Anna has one goal when she sees her darling, regardless on if it's before the fog or after.

She wants to take you in and care for you.

Part of what drives her yandere tendencies is her motherly nature.

In her backstory, Anna is shown to be a relentless hunter yet also yearned to take care of others.

How the obsession starts is most likely with her stalking you.

Anna's presence is unnerving, even when stalking her prey she hums an eerie tune.

Anna could be an "obsession at first sight" yandere.

The moment you're in her sights she doesn't stop hunting you.

I like to imagine Anna as very animal-like.

She's a predator, one who knows how to hunt like an animal.

With her time in the forest she's learned how to hunt from the wildlife around her and the teaching from her mother.

I can see her hiding behind trees while stalking her darling, the bunny mask hiding her true intentions.

Anna could stalk you for a long time.

The huntress likes to watch you...

You aren't like other prey.

Anna has killed humans before, that isn't very new to her.

If you came into her territory with others around you then she'll most likely target those people first.

By the time you realize you are being watched it's already too late when it comes to her.

All you can hear is screaming.

Anna doesn't see murder as wrong.

She just sees killing humans as hunting.

In fact she doesn't see most of her obsession as wrong.

That doesn't make her innocent, however.

There's no slowly easing you into her obsession either.

When you meet Anna, it's disturbing.

Screams echo through the trees and blood is splattered on the ground.

When you come across the remains of your friends there's no doubt you panic, bile threatening to dribble past your lips at the grisly sight.

Anna likes to play around with the corpses.

Or maybe she mutilated these ones for a specific reason?

The bodies are gouged and you can see organs within the pooling blood.

You quickly come to the realization this is no animal.

Then... Anna steps into view.

Her hatchets are covered in blood, in fact, she herself is covered head to toe in blood.

The blood of your friends...

Quite soon, maybe even the blood of you.

You two just stare at each other when you finally meet.

You look like a scared animal... she looks like an apex predator.

Then... the masked woman crouches before pouncing

You think your life is coming to an end when she pins you to the ground, restraining you.

You think she's going to bury one of her sharp axes into you.

She never does.

Instead... the huntress hums.

It's a tune that's meant to be soothing most likely.

But it comes off as creepy.

It's like this murderer is trying to soothe you.

She is.

After all... it's been awhile since she had company in her cabin.

All the rest died....

So, yes, this is how you both first meet.

Your entire group is butchered and Anna restrains you in her cabin.

Anna's obsession is immediate.

She is a yandere who is quick to cling to her darling.

Once she captures you she treats you like some sort of doll or child.

For some reason she has a very nurturing nature.

You'd think as a killer Anna is sadistic.

Surprisingly, not really.

During the hunt she may be a bit playful and sadistic with prey, but not with her darling.

She never intends to harm her darling on purpose when she has them.

If the restraints are too tight, tell her.

If you aren't careful she may accidentally suffocate you with the ropes-

Anna really doesn't know any better but that does not excuse her behavior.

It's unknown if she sees you as your own person.

She treats you like you're helpless and need her to survive.

In the situation she put you in... that's close to the truth.

Anna is a killer who really gives into being and animal with her desires.

She hunts for you and brings home various prey.

She needs to feed her baby, right?

Anna will also find gifts to give you on her little "expeditions".

It's most likely a stolen trinket of some sort that she stole from a human she's killed.

Anna is always wearing some sort of animal mask around you.

It's not always a rabbit, sometimes it's another animal of some sort.

Anna likes physical affection the most when it comes to her darling.

She likes to wrap herself around you and hum.

She is comforted by your warmth and hopes she comforts you too.

She doesn't.

At night Anna may move her darling in a way for her to spoon them.

It's a protective position and she likes that it makes you secure in her arms.

Anna is very protective of her darling.

You could make the argument that she's possessive, too, like an animal defending their territory.

Everything about her screams animal.

From the brutal way she hunts prey to the way she nuzzles into your hand when you touch her face...

It's hard to see her as human like you.

Your rescue is a feat that's nearly impossible.

If humans get too close to her cabin then Anna is already dealing with them.

Being an expert at hunting and stalking, all she has to do is throw one hatchet...

Then the deed is done.

If someone puts up a fight you can hear her growls as she defends her territory.

She'd protect you in her cabin with every ounce of her being.

There's a good chance you will either give into stockholm syndrome or die due to poor living conditions.

Two unsettling outcomes... but they are the most likely.

Anna might be able to be tolerable if you taught her.

She's a bit naive and doesn't understand human relationships much.

Any type of them.

Anna actually listens rather intently when you tell her knowledge.

She likes to learn from you.

Although she is much more of a... hands on learner?

If you developed stockholm syndrome and reciprocate Anna's affection, she's ecstatic.

Anna loves that you care for her as she does you!

Soon, you might not even need the restraints!

If you ever died, Anna would mourn.

She'd mourn for a long time...

That is until a new human target arrives...

Then her obsession starts anew... it's a never-ending cycle of infatuation for Anna.

#yandere dead by daylight #yandere dbd #yandere the huntress #yandere dbd the huntress #yandere dbd huntress

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mlmxreader · 9 months

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Hiya!!

😭 Oh no! He stole your side of the bed now!! His little face looks so smug too, I can't.

Eeeeeehh! 3 more updates! Your are too good for us and we do not deserve you. Also, how are you? Doing alright? How's that ankle of yours? I think you mentioned that you rolled it so I hope everythings going alright 🖤. Now let's get into it!

Prove It

I'll keep it short because I have little to no coherent thoughts .... oh fuck 👀👀👀.

Possessive kiss 👀. Grabbed their throat 👀👀. Gripped that ass and let that other person know exactly who y/n was with 👀👀👀.

🥵... I think that sums it up nicely.

Blue Sand

you would both bleed knowing that it was not the world that had gotten to you, it was not the shit that the planet had become - but it was loyalty, companionship, and dedication.

This one got me a little bit. I can understand the deep longing that both of them have for a world that will not be. A world that once was. A time where Max and y/n could have led lives in which they didn't have to constantly look over their shoulders. Where death isn't as common as breathing. That little moment they had together in the end, where Max couldn't say it in words but his actions were enough to let them know that he wanted the same 🥹. The feels are feeling.

Marking the other as means of reminding them that they are infact still alive is kinda poetic. In an environment that is hell bent on destroying everything, you don't allow it to have the satisfaction of being the only thing that makes you bleed. In this case, their blood is drawn by someone who cares deeply for them, not with the goal of injury but a means of reminding them of their humanity and most importantly, their promise to one another. I don't know if any of that made sense, I just thought it was really neat that you did that. "You would both bleed for something human." 🤌🏾🖤

Let the Walls Fall

He made himself comfortable against you, tethered to his rock and knowing that no amount of choppy and stormy seas would never take him away from you.

🥹🥹🥹

The feels are also feeling with this one.

Poor Tommy dealing with all of that but atleast he has y/n who in additon to noticing that something is off, also tries to reach out to him. Him melting into them when they hug him 🤧. My sweet, sweet touched starved man!! Actually though, it was so unbelievablely heartbreaking when he said you'll leave me and stop loving me like everyone else 🥺🥺. 😭 Baby no! I would ask who hurt him but the real question is who didn't hurt him?!

Thank you so much for writing these requests. Sorry for the short reviews but just know that I really did love reading each of these very much.

Take care, be safe and I'll talk to ya in the next one!

🖤🖤🖤

🐍anon

hello!!!!!

yes, he did steal MY SIDE of the bed bc he's an asshole. greyhounds are assholes. (I love him, I bought him a new toy recently and he hasn't stopped playing w it all day)

3 new updates and more to come!!! my ankle is uhm... I'm in constant pain every time I put pressure on it but tbh, it could be worse, like, I can still walk which means I can still work.

RIGHT!! LETS GO!!

Prove It

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhe jealous!Max certainly is something, huh?

Blue Sand

Max and his s/o both yearn for something that they can never have, but all the same... they can have a SEMBLANCE of it, even though that world is long and far gone. they might not be able to live happily ever after, but it's enough to live and to know that they're both loved. it's enough for them both.

to cut someone you love like that, to spill their blood not for pleasure or malice but for the sake of going "I'm here with you. I'm not going anywhere", is probably the most human act of all in a world like theirs. to find that destruction doesn't necessarily mean breaking, but rather, that destruction can cause a bond so strong that it will never be shaken. mutual destruction, mutual affection.

Let the Walls Fall

reader is Tommy's anchor, the only thing keeping him afloat when he's in a stormy sea 🥹🥹🥹

they GET each other 🥺 just as much as the reader knows Tommy and can pick up how he's feeling just by looking at him, Tommy can do the exact same 🥺 "you'll leave me" Tommy........ i FUCKING DOUBT THAT. that motherfucker knows you better than anyone else and loves you DEARLY.

you're so very welcome!!!! I love the short reviews as much as the long ones 🥹🥺🫶🏻 so thank you!!!!

#asks #🐍 anon

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fishchomp · 10 months

Text

thoughts about life + love + growing up + finding contentment

In the wake of my personal renaissance, the likes of which have not been seen since I graduated high school, or after covid, or after deciding to grow my hair back out, I have struggled to find activities that really bring me joy.

I used to spend a lot of time just consuming media, which I was always fine with. I never really had a problem with it at all - in fact, it felt like that was where I could find the most comfort, because it was always guaranteed to bring me contentment in some way. Endlessly scrolling and posting on social media, or getting high and watching super long YouTube videos, or watching shows that I would be too embarrassed to share with others but completely happy to enjoy on my own.

I don’t feel this same joy anymore. Now all I can think when I open any social media app is how much I hate it, and how I know I’m only going on it to waste time. I actually actively feel more negatively after using it. (It’s not posting that I dislike by the way - I still enjoy creating small diaries and snapshots of my life for myself, it’s usually the endless barrage of other’s content that makes me feel like my head is filled with lead. “I hate you I hate you I hate you - I hate you because you do not see me and I can see you, I am seeing you, I cannot stop seeing you, all the time, you are trapped in here”.

I haven’t actually really watched any media of any kind in months. I just can’t bring myself to. I’ve watched some random videos on YouTube or movies here and there, but I almost feel silly attempting to completely invest myself in a fictional world. It’s like an illusion has been shattered and I can’t bring myself to care in quite the same way. Or maybe I just don’t want to. I’m not willing to enjoy it. This is a problem - because I do believe that (for better or for worse) the consumption of media is actually one of the few guaranteed joys in life. It seems like it’s kind of all that people do, really.

My attention has shifted, perhaps positively, towards the act of creation over consumption. Active versus passive. This (obviously) requires an immense amount of energy and passion over the spectator sport, which is inherently a good and healthy thing. However, this almost feels more like work than a pastime. I have no passion for my job - so in a way this is where I flow all of that energy and desire to work. This brings me joy, I presume, but come on. Nothing that you have to work for to bring you happiness counts, right??? Kidding.

I just wish I liked watching tv again, ha.

Of course, im also in the eternal struggle of love. Wanting it, yearning for it, in such a way that it’s almost painful. I see it everywhere, and I ache. I have found myself at a crossroads - the acceptance of peace in finding love for oneself and the indelible desire for someone to see me with the same amount of care that I have learned for myself. Yes, life is ultimately lived alone, and it is loved alone, but it is also meant to be shared alongside others. Companionship is not necessary for survival, but god, is it such a nice perk.

Love is guaranteed to no one, but when everyone else grows up and moves on and create their own love with someone else, where will I be? I don’t want to wish the worst on myself - I know that one day it will happen if it is meant to happen (fate, a silly thing. A stupid thing. So stupid that I cannot let go of it), and regardless of the outcome one day this ache will be dull and far away. I hope, I hope. (I hope.)

I’m finding that maybe life really is a cheap thing, though. We aren’t all meant for greatness - fine. In fact, I’ve grown comforted by the fact. Truly, truly, truly, it is the little things. Life is not the large moments but rather is the quiet walk as the sun goes down and the breeze is just right and the album you’ve listened to dozens of times and the eggs being cooked just to your liking and counting each step as you go down the staircase and playing trivia for the fun of it even if you never get the answers right. There is no shame in this - only immense joy and comfort. There is no shame in the mundane. There is no such thing as the mundane.

But the sadness - the ache - comes back when I realize that maybe all that I hope for isn’t what it seems, and it may never be. I don’t know if my mother is happy. By all accounts, she should be, but it pains me to believe that she likely is not. I mean, maybe she is. Maybe she has found contentment, and loves the little things. She has what I yearn for - people who love her and people who she loves and life’s little pleasures.

But even people in relationships fight and even people in relationships must fight to find joy in the mundane and even people who have been married for decades seem to walk on eggshells more often than not. My mother seems to live in a glass castle. Stones are being thrown at her. I think she may be too far in to outrun it. She is too tired to try. She may not even want to.

I don’t know. I don’t know, maybe happy marriages do exist. Maybe people can be together for many years and they do not grow resentful of one another. Maybe I haven’t seen it, or I haven’t been looking for it. Maybe love can persist, and maybe I can have this kind of love.

What I’m saying here is that I don’t know what dreams to rely on anymore. It all feels so uncertain, like no matter what I do there is no longer a sense of assuredness that this will definitely work out. “If nothing else happens, I know I have this” - this does not exist anymore. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just something I need to accept and am learning to accept. (I’m sorry, I’m scared to appear too far gone. I’m not, I promise. Please believe me. I once sat on my knees and cried for you to believe me. I don’t think you did, or we would not be here. I digress.)

One day I hope to wake up and feel excited for whatever the days brings, no matter what it is. I had this, I think, and then I lost it, but then I found it again, and then I lost it in the renaissance. Funny how change will do that to you. Funny how I will never be the same again. It’s funny how guilty I feel for feeling like this. It’s funny how much I still love myself in spite of it all. In fact, I have nothing to do with this.

I read back on my journal entries from months in the past and I feel nothing but gratitude (or sometimes embarrassment, but in a good way) for how much better I feel. I pray every day for the time when I will do the same for these recent ones. Not to God, of course. But maybe.

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