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#This fancomic took way too long to draw even before I decided to draw the bonus
munadrawson · 1 year
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Click and Open image for HQ! [Commission OPEN] | [Cheap-bi Commission OPEN] | [Ko-fi] | [Twitter] | [Instagram]
Just wanna draw Deep Cut in slopsuits because I think those outfits are hella cute.
BONUS:
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Good to know that Doritos outlived humanity.
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worldviewcast · 3 years
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The Origin of Worldview
So this is going to be a semi-personal, but also a semi-explanation post about alot of the background info regarding Worldview.  Yes it’ll be a long somewhat boring wall of text for many of you, but to ME it’s words I feel need to be said and it would mean the absolute world to me if people would take the time to hear me out.  Even if its only gonna be the five of you that continue on after this. Anyway...
Worldview technically started forming in my mind when I was probably about fifteen. (For reference, at the time of writing this, I’m about half a year to thirty-one) I was really into doing comics, I had done probably a hundred pages of a really dumb fantasy comic I came up with when I was TWELVE, a Sonic fancomic, and every morning on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I would upload my micron inked and colored pencil story about some DnD characters into the school scanner to post on Drunkduck which is probably all still there today. Adventure’s Guild is missed in my heart, for sure.  But in between looking for my first job, the constant writing and doodling I was doing, and my schoolwork I was tossing another idea around in my head. A really DUMB idea, cuz ya know I was FIFTEEN. And I wanted to call it ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’. At the time I was influence by all the dumb anime I was watching and my best friend at the time who always wore black and stood about two feet over me. I don’t know if he’ll ever read this, but trust me if he knew I was talking about this he would recognize this story right away.  Well. My first job came around, along with my post secondary college work, and then a tech school I paid for, and.....life really started to get in the way of development. I was more focused on drawing Adventures Guild and other doodles for a long time, and soon enough taking care of my daughter took precedence over everything, and then I started sewing, and doing conventions....and the idea of ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’ was just stuck in the back of my head. Sitting. Waiting. Forming slowly as it waited for its existence - its time in the sun.  And at some point I decided I wanted Android/Robotic like characters too...some of my FAVORITE series are Kikaider : The Animation and Chobits (the books, not the infants show they try to pass a a fully written anime) - things like that. So I KNEW long before Worldview had a proper name I would be writing robot characters with a twist. But I couldn’t figure out what that twist was, what would make it work. The whole idea was still....building. It needed a push.  Right around the time My Hero Academia came around everyone with a creative mind seemed to be suddenly struck with a similar idea - what if unique powers WEREN’T so unique in a world?  This is fairly common now, but at the start of MHA I remember finding it weird that suddenly every half the new shows out had a whole population of super powered badasses in a world where living daily life with it was more the norm than the exception.  And I remember finding it REALLY weird this all came out the same time I evolving a similar idea for my own thing.... I wish I could prove I was evolving this ideas before I saw em but I can’t. I have a much deeper theory about the evolution of cultural art and how influences drive creative minds to similar conclusions but that’s a LONG mental dive for another day.  ANYHOW.
So my original idea in ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’ was the Ninja would be the weird super power in the normal world.  NOW I wanted the NINJA to be the ‘normal’ one...and the younger sister would be the WEIRD one because she DIDN’T have some sort of power or ability.  I fell in love with this new dynamic and now things were REALLY starting to come together in my mind, what kind of powers were people gonna have, just HOW mundane was it gonna be, how many fantasy elements did I want to have?  Because I already KNEW another element I really wanted to include was modern day Paladins - and YES I WILL be covering modern-day style Paladins in Worldview proper, but this meant the universe needed a Deity system, a hierarchy or pantheon.  And the world just started to grow....but something was still MISSING, the binding, the elements of what all I wanted to do -  Aaaaaaaaaand then came UNDERTALE.  And yes this ENTIRE long post is just me mini ranting about how WV came to be so people can TRULY understand just HOW much is inside MY universe so we can stop tagging it as part of the UT Multiverse please and thank you - it’s not that I don’t UNDERSTAND the confusion, but here is your ultimate ‘for the record’ post regarding mine and @little-noko ‘s personal frustrations. Undertale was obviously a HUGE part of pop culture, personal experiences, my life, MANY of my readers lives, I GET why the emotional connection is there and why its the first thing that comes to mind - but the ONLY part I truly was fascinated by with Undertale was the way the Souls were.  PHYSICAL Souls - an actual magical entity that represented a person - THIS idea.  This was my missing piece.  To say artists get inspiration from other artists is beyond an understatement - even Sans and Papyrus are references to Helvetica, right? If not references, inspired by, or ‘great minds think alike’, whatever your argument there....its not uncommon.  And Souls being PHYSICAL was the element I wanted to play with - the idea I wanted to expand on, and so much more I want to go into detail about but don’t want to go into spoilers yet so I’m not going to - and the absolute CRUX of my frustrations when dealing with ‘WV is just UT with different characters’.  Worldview has.....humans. Only humans, divided into four race. Mechanoid. Masic. Skeleton. Metazoan. (The last one exclusively because I wanted an excuse to draw cute cat girls, so sue me)  A pantheon of Gods. It’s own world map. Special BIOLOGY that I have developed to work specifically with the races I have built. Ability trees (diagram to come, don’t worry, we’re just still working out the kinks).  It’s own countries, nationalities, and even it’s own tangible form of afterlife which I blame watching WAY too much Supernatural on but HEY Reapers are freaking COOL man.  It’s absolutely gut wrenching painful to have people argue with me over a world that I have nurtured and slowly tended to for a good fifteen years...now that it finally, FINALLY gets a chance to exist and be worked on....I feel like the one binding element I finally found and played with and tried to expand on is the ONLY element that people care about. As if absolutely EVERY other element that I want to show just - doesn’t EXIST. We started with Finch because its a good transition from the old projects to the new and it’s the earliest event in the timeline - nothing more than that. But I’m almost starting to feel like that was a mistake because it’s TOO familiar.  There’s no going back now, and thats fine. But it does make me anxious to move on to the next ‘chapter’ we’ll be delving into.  MAN.  I hope that helps clarify a few things.  I love answering questions (those that I can) about  WV...so my ask box is always open.  For those that made it, thanks for listening. :) 
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majesty-madness · 3 years
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Before and After (Hitoshi Shinso x OC)
Summary: While Karin and Shinso were dating, she hadn’t noticed how muscular he had become with his training especially when those muscles cause unintentional fantasies
Word Count: 1300+
Warnings: slight nsfw (sexual implications), mostly sfw
Note: I am going to be doing something a little different. So I have been working on tons of fancomic ideas and stories and such, well before I start drawing them I type them out, however, I decided that what I am going to do (in some cases) is publish what I wrote then post the illustration of said idea. This is only to be with ones like this, where it is not super long and has only 1 or maybe 2 illustrations attached to it (not full on fancomics where there’s like 10 pages) Anyway, Enjoy!~
She wasn’t sure when she started to notice it, but something in Shinso was changing.
More specifically, his physique.
Karin first realized that something had changed when they had gone on a date. Well if you can call it a date when your friends tag along.
Shinso was sitting next to her in a booth at a restaurant while Mina, Kaminari sat right across from them.
They had ordered their food, chatting, laughing, having a good time and then Shinso reached over to grab a napkin from the dispenser which sat against the wall.
Karin looked down at his outstretched limb and took note of the slightly more muscular arm.
Her eyes narrowed on the muscle, tilting her head a bit in confusion as Shinso grabbed the napkin. ‘Had it always looked like that?’
She kept watching him even when Shinso’s arm had retreated back to his side, she kept watching.
Feeling her stare on him, Shinso asked, “You alright?”
Her gaze snapped up to meet his eyes. “Y-yeah, y-yeah I’m fine.”
Karin returned her attention to her meal, feeling her face becoming very warm.
The second time she noticed was when she witnessed Shinso helping another classmate carry some heavy looking boxes.
She was walking down the hall, and he was walking opposite of her. Her eyes met his for a moment as they passed by, she flashed him a smile and he did the same.
Then her eyes traveled down, catching a glimpse of his arm again. Everything came to a screeching halt.
Her blue orbs took in every muscle that continuously flexed in order to keep the box steady. The defined mass was quite the sight to see.
‘Holy shit…’ She thought to herself as Shinso was now nearing the end of the hall.
Quickly, she shook her head and jogged away. Her face felt incredibly hot this time.
Over the next few weeks, Karin would be in the middle of a task then would become completely distracted by her boyfriend's obviously growing muscles. Well, when he wasn’t wearing his baggy hoodies which Karin loved but was now starting to get irritated when she couldn’t see his exposed biceps.
Shinso was not an idiot.
He could tell that Karin was acting slightly different nowadays.
Everything would be normal one moment then the next her gaze would suddenly snap down and her cheeks were a flaming bright red.
While he had picked up on her change in demeanor, he had no idea what might be the cause. The only thing that he knew for sure was it happened after she looked at him and that was it.
After spending countless days utterly confused, Shinso made the decision to confront Karin after school ended. He’d head back to his own dorm, change clothes, then meet up with Karin.
They usually spent more time in her dorm anyway so it worked out.
It was a little past four when Shinso showed up at class 1-A’s dorms. He could already hear the ricuss of some of the students coming from the living room.
He walked in immediately catching the eyes of Mina Ashido.
“What’s up, Shinso?” She greeted, a grin plastered on her face.
Kaminari was the next to speak up, turning his head to where Shinso stood. “Yeah, how’s it hanging dude?”
Shinso smiled. “It’s good, I’m actually looking for Karin. Have you seen her?”
Mina and Kaminari stole at glance at one another as a mischievous smirk made its home on their faces. They stayed like that only for a few seconds before they both looked back at Shinso.
He raised an eyebrow in clear confusion as to why they were making those expressions.
Suddenly Mina spoke. “I don’t know what you have been doing to the poor dear but every time you walk into the room, she gets all kinds of flustered.” She chuckled near the end of her sentence.
“Seriously, what have you two been up to?” Kaminari asked teasingly. He was clearly trying to hint at something.
Much to their surprise the purple haired student scoffed with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
His response had caused Mina to fall into a laughing fit , holding her stomach and kicking her legs about while Kaminari looked as though he had short circuited, a blush on his face.  
It took a bit but eventually Mina had calmed down and sat up while wiped a tear from her eye.
“I cannot believe you said that.” She giggled one more time then let out a sigh.
Shinso chuckled lowly. “Well it was too good an opportunity. I had to take it.”
“Karin’s in her room if you must know.” Mina paused. “Have fun~”
Shinso shook his head as he walked into the elevator to head up to Karin’s room which was located just a floor above the common space.
The ding of the elevator signaled to Shinso that he was on the second floor now. He stepped out and casually made his way down the hall.
His tired looking eyes scanned the left wall filled with dorm rooms until they settled on Karin’s room door.
He lifted his fist and lightly tapped on the door so that only she could hear him.
The pattering of footsteps could be heard from inside the room and soon enough, the door was swung open.
Karin immediately blushed once she saw that it was Shinso on the other side of the door.
“O-oh! Hey S-shinso.”
He smiled back. “Hey, can I come in?”
She bashfully nodded then stepped to the side so that he could walk inside. Once he was inside her room, Karin proceeded to close the door and walked up behind the purple haired teen.
“So...uh...what’s up?” She asked, her eyes instinctually (and accidentally) traveling down her boyfriend’s arm.
Just as Shinso turned around, her blue eyes whipped back up and she put on a forced smile.
“I wanted to ask you about something actually.” He admitted, quick to get to the point.
His statement caused Karin to freeze. ‘Is he onto me? Has he realized what I’ve been doing?’
Karin nervously chuckled. “Ask me a-about what?”
Shinso now fully turned himself to face his girlfriend. “Well I’ve noticed lately that you’ve been acting really weird and I wanted to ask you what’s been up with you.”
Shit.
Realizing that she had been caught, Karin decided it was time to admit her little secret.
The blonde let out a sigh, her cheeks becoming more inflamed than before. “T-the truth is that….uh...well…” She paused not knowing how she should phrase this.
“Recently I’ve noticed that you have built up quite a bit of muscle on your arms and I wasn’t expecting it okay? So whenever I saw you my mind just started running wild and drifted to some rather e-embarrassing thoughts.”
At this point, Karin’s face was nearly completely red and she had resorted to looking anywhere Shinso wasn’t while twiddling with her fingers.
There was quite a bit of silence gathering and Karin kept her eyes glued to the floor. She was desperately waiting for Shinso to scold her or something, anything, but instead all she heard was a low chuckle leave his throat.
She dared move her gaze to stare back up at him and discovered Shinso had a smirk gracing his tired looking features.
“Well if that’s all then you should’ve said so before.” He finally spoke.
And like a predator cornering it’s prey, he stalked his way over to Karin pinning her between himself and the wall.
Karin gasped when her back made contact with the wall, her hands pressed firmly against the plaster as she stared into her boyfriend’s now darker eyes.  
Slowly, Shinso leaned in his lips only mere inches away from her own and whispered, “Why don’t you tell what sort of fantasies you had about me, and I’ll show you how they pale in comparison to the real thing.”
If she wasn’t embarrassed before she certainly was now.
________
Illustration for this story will be posted this coming Saturday! (11.7.20)
It will be nsfw but I will show only what is allowed on tumblr, and the full version will be on my Patreon. (I’ll provide my usual links down below)
Hope you have an awesome day!
Patreon
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DeviantArt
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The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 24/?
CLAMP AU n.3 [chengyu? yucheng? (JC/MXY) edition. don’t...question my taste bruh]: “Somewhere, sometime.”
[tw eating disorders mentioned + tw suicide mention (body sacrifice)]
[ok fam. ok. I get it. I would basically ship JC with a rock if it meant I could play with my crack AUs. but I have solid evidence for this one. I promise you.]
[so, “Kobato” from CLAMP is possibly my favorite series from them. it’s 6 volumes long, roughly 40 chapters (and I only recently found out there was an epilogue...even though it was not there in my published version of the series. bc your local cryptid did in fact buy the entire thing in the flesh, that’s how much I love it)]
[in this AU I’ll change some things for the sake of consistency, but I suggest you read it bc the hurt/comfort and pining is enjoyable...so...if you read my silly AU I’m afraid I will spoil the plot for u :( and that’s the last thing I want to do...I understand if you decide to go read the manga and skip my prompt. it’s ok, I’m fine, go and have fun ;-;]
[if you kept reading, hi :D]
[now. am I uncomfortable with certain common tropes in CLAMP’s work in general? yes. especially the age gaps between some of the characters, some of which are not adults. hence the reason behind the changes in this AU. but! the aesthetics fam. the beautiful drawings. the cute outfits. (*ノ▽ノ)
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do you see these?? how cute would Mo XuanYu look in these fam?? I honestly hc him enjoying skirts and feminine outfits a whole lot, but you can imagine him with pants and they would be just as cute. my favorite one is the second from the left btw.]
(imagine Mo XuanYu like this btw and check out the fancomic by the same op! an anon suggested it to me a while ago and now I’m hooked!)
[other mangacaps bc you need visuals:
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yeah. angry boy meets bby with a mission to accomplish, bonding over their inferiority complex. yep. I only love the nicest things in life. that’s me.
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also look at my baby girl ;-; so cuTe]
[the title is from the ost from the anime series, “Itsuka dokoka de” (check it out!). the anime feels more cohesive than the original manga, possibly bc the pacing is handled a little bit better (since the manga was cut short and the end felt a bit sloppy, but the emotional engagement was still good). and I remember being 17 and crying like a baby when this song came in. if you don’t have time for the manga binge the anime instead! there are plot holes in both of them and the stories are different but still both very enjoyable if you like soft things and angsty vibes.]
[enjoy!]
*
*
When YanLi saw him for the first time in front of her door, at the beginning of spring, she thought XuanYu was too pretty and too young for his own good. Sitting across her on the floor, a tea set between them as he politely answered her questions, the boy couldn’t have looked older than sixteen yet he assured her he was of age and well into adulthood. Which seemed pretty difficult to assess, not with the way he dressed: cute button down, beret slightly askew on top of his pretty head and an old-looking suitcases in hand. She didn’t mention the stuffed black rabbit poking out from the front pocket of his luggage, which seemed more of a comfort thing than a reliable source of company.
Moreover, Jin Ling seemed transfixed by him, toddling his way towards their guest asking for cuddles... something her son had never done in front of strangers.
XuanYu refused to give his last name, nor did he have an ID he could show her, nor did he seem worried about how strange that was. And YanLi knew ZiXuan would have been against it, but she couldn’t leave the kid looking all over Lanling for a place to stay... so she gave him the only available room in their rundown pension.
She only hoped Jiang Cheng would be a nice neighbor and leave the kid alone. Who knew what horrors XuanYu was running away from, after all.
*
When XiChen heard from YanLi of her new tenant, he would have never guessed the kid to look so naive. Not in a bad way, mind you. But his smiles, for how genuine they seemed to be, looked a little bit too big. A little bit too strained not to be a distraction tactic from his part. Or maybe XiChen had lived too long surrounded by fake smiles and closed off people to not worry.
That’s probably why he gave XuanYu a job when YanLi asked him to look over the kid. More to prove himself there were still trustworthy people in the world than to give the younger man a chance. He couldn’t even pay him a full salary, not with the debt collectors breathing on his neck as he tried to run his late mother’s kindergarten.
But maybe that would have been enough for now. A starting point for something better, something new.
*
A-Yuan had always known the kindergarten used to be an orphanage back in the days, but now he had reached an age where doubts stuck to his head instead of being forgotten with the passing of time. Wen Qing and A-Ning were always busy -be it in the hospital or in university- and A-Yuan didn’t know if they loved him enough to keep him. Ever since granny had passed away he had wondered, day after day, when his cousins would have left him behind for good.
He was thinking about such things when he first met XuanYu, on the man’s first day on the job as a teaching assistant. A-Yuan was mulling over his sadness when XuanYu had come to his rescue, asking him what was wrong... before enthusiastically praising his cousins for working so hard after hearing they were late to take A-Yuan home. XuanYu stayed with him and they played on the swings as they waited for A-Ning to come pick him up, apologizing profusely.
On the way home, his cousin held him close and kissed his forehead as he asked him if he had had fun with the new teacher. And A-Yuan felt less doubtful afterwards.
*
After hearing the story from her brother, Wen Qing had made it her job to look into XuanYu and his weird approach to life in general. She took every opportunity she could grasp to spy on the younger man, lunch breaks be damned. She needed to confirm if the kid was a trust worthy person or a runaway child pretending to be older than what he actually was. Well, maybe tailing an unsuspecting young man on the streets of Lanling in scrubs and sunglasses would be considered a bit much, she could admit as much. But it was the thought that counted, no?
Her friend MianMian told her to knock it off and talk to the kid like a normal human being, but the truth was that... well, XuanYu was really too weird to be considered normal. He seldom put himself in dangerous situations without much care, such as picking up a random (and still lit) cigarette from the ground just to give it back to the person who had “accidentally dropped it”. Other times he would cross a road without looking left and right first, risking to be run over by cars at every corner. He never, never, fumbled with a phone and he frequently talked to himself... sometimes even directing his words to that creepy stuffed rabbit of his.
No thank you, Wen Qing felt safer behind light poles and crumpled newspapers held upside down. Even if that made her look sketchy as fuck.
*
Wen Ning made sure to arrive on time to pick A-Yuan up after that time, often chatting with XuanYu as they waited for his baby cousin to retrieve his backpack and raincoat. It was refreshing to speak with the younger man, no matter how weird he acted sometimes. Like that time A-Yuan asked him to tie his shoe-laces for him and XuanYu didn’t know how to do it. Or that time they caught the man taking a nap on the floor in the middle of the school hall. Or that time XiChen had ordered a cake for one of the kids’ birthday and XuanYu didn’t seem to know how to sing the birthday song.
Wen Ning had no place to judge, after all. But XuanYu’s smiles felt like balm on his heart. And if his sweet voice followed Wen Ning home as he bounced A-Yuan in his arms, well. Nobody needed to know that.
*
The last thing Meng Yao would have expected to hear that summer day when he called the kindergarten was a voice so different from XiChen’s. Startled, he had confusedly asked if the kid worked there and how so, given that the school definitely couldn’t afford to hire anyone. He ought to know. He was the debt collector.
But the kid apologized, introduced himself, and then explained XiChen had offered him a part-time job out of kindness more than out of need. The idiot. XiChen should have remembered who his money belonged to instead of taking charity cases left and right.
But when Meng Yao said as much to naive XuanYu, the other vehemently protested, surprising the debt collector with strong opinions on how he shouldn’t underestimate other people’s intelligence and kindness in the first place.
Meng Yao laughed out at that, genuinely so.
There was more to that kid XuanYu than what one would have expected.
*
Nie HuaiSang caught a first glimpse of the mystery man only in late summer, when XuanYu stepped into his cake shop to look at the display. His coworker MianMian seemed to recognize the younger man immediately, greeting him by saying they had a friend in common, namely Wen Qing. The kid merely tilted his head and answered he had never formerly met “Miss. Wen” and that he only knew who she was from what the woman’s younger brother had told him about her.
MianMian shrugged and smiled at him.
To which HuaiSang asked him what they could do for him and XuanYu... just... stopped working. Saying that he had wondered if he could do something for them instead. Apparently, Wen Ning had let it slip they were currently understaffed and needed a hand to deliver their sweets.
Delighted, MianMian set him to work, no matter how many times HuaiSang assured her they didn’t need to force the kid to help them... also because they didn’t actually have the means to pay him in kind. But XuanYu refused money altogether, simply asking them to let him help.
To their amusement (and horror) XuanYu didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, so he insisted on covering the deliveries by foot in the neighborhood instead.
HuaiSang called XiChen on the phone that same evening, asking him to give the kid some slack the following day. And maybe buy him some balm for blisters as well.
*
Jin Ling was young but he wasn’t stupid. Turning three had made him wiser, he knew as much. So he knew XuanYu was magical. He just did.
His pretty-gege talked with stuffed animals, always wore nice things, and kept in his satchel bag a vial filling up with magical candies every time he did something nice for others. A-Ling had seen it with his own eyes, that time XuanYu had put a plaster on his scrapped knee and blew on it to make the pain go away: the golden candy had appeared in the bottle out of nowhere and XuanYu had asked him to keep the secret.
And A-Ling may have been young, but he wasn’t a snitch.
No sir.
*
ZiXuan eventually stumbled upon their new tenant even though YanLi had tried everything in her power to prevent it. He was very displeased with her: taking a scrawny kid in, cutting his rent in half merely because he couldn’t afford to pay the room in full. Utter nonsense.
No matter how much this kid XuanYu praised A-Ling’s personality or YanLi’s cooking, no matter how much he smiled and made himself look accommodating and unthreatening. ZiXuan didn’t work pro bono even at the firm, let alone for his wife’s business.
Yet, when he asked to be let inside the kid’s room to formally discuss the terms of his contract (and tell him to pack his things and leave at the end of summer), ZiXuan was left speechless. There was no bed, no table or chairs. The fridge wasn’t humming and the AC wasn’t working. The only things he could see were the younger man’s clothes neatly folded in his open suitcase or hanging by the window to dry. No books, no snacks, no nothing.
Usually tenants brought their things in right off the bat, their stuff mailed in within a week after moving in. YanLi was very particular about it, she would have not overlooked something like that. But maybe she had been too busy with A-Ling these past few months and hadn’t noticed the kid was actually too poor to even breathe.
And now that he looked at him, XuanYu looked suspiciously skinny.
Was he sleeping on the floor? Didn’t he have covers for the colder season? Was his fridge broken, empty, or -gods forbid- purposely left with no power because the kid couldn’t afford the electricity bill?
“Do you actually live like this?”
XuanYu didn’t answer to that, but smiled anyway. It looked sinister in a way ZiXuan couldn’t explain, afraid of the things such a young man may or may not have endured in the past. And was maybe still enduring now.
The following day ZiXuan gave the kid their spare futon they bought in Japan on their honeymoon. They never had guests anyway and they could afford to pay for a tenant’s electricity bill every now and then, they weren’t poor.
Certainly YanLi would have agreed with him on the matter.
*
JinGy saw it. He did! He wasn’t lying! Xuan-ge was there, surrounded by darkness and shadows, looking over the children during their nap time, only a sliver of light coming from the door left ajar... casting shadows on half of his pretty face.
And he saw him reviving that stuffed black rabbit he always had on him.
The rabbit just rose on his hind legs and turned his head up and started whispering things to Xuan-ge, who nodded every now and then in deep though.
JinGyi had read about how paper-man talismans had been stuff of legends in the past. His books spoke of ancient times in which even corpses could be brought back to life. How even animals could turn into godly beasts if enough resentful energy polluted them. But he would have never thought magic could actually be real and so easy to play with.
And Xuan-ge had looked nothing but beautiful as he was talking to the stuffed animal, humming softly under his breath.
*
When Jiang Cheng dropped out of university for the second time, YanLi didn’t say anything and instead welcomed him back in his old room. So much for enrolling in law school at twenty-three, uh? ZiXuan would have been disappointed in him like the first time that had happened in his bachelor anyway, no point in avoiding the man. It was autumn anyway: it was either going back to the apartment complex or look for a new flatmate. But the school housing had rightfully kicked him out after dropping out in the middle of the academic year, so there would have been little hope for him to find a new place anytime soon.
What he did not expect to find was a new tenant living next door.
Sleeping in front of the door, clutching a satchel bag and a fucking stuffed animal on his lap.
Jiang Cheng jolted him awake and took in the sight of his shoulder length hair, his long lashes and sleepy eyes and thought he looked ridiculous. Wearing a silly hat and moccasins, purple shadows under his eyes, a confused expression on his worn out face. When asked what the hell he was doing there, sleeping out of his room instead of inside of it, the younger man said he had forgotten his keys inside that morning.
He was clearly an idiot, so Jiang Cheng walked away and returned to his room after more than a year away. If someone asked him who had rung YanLi to bring the spare keys to help the idiot he would have shrugged at them and shut the door in their face.
He didn’t have time for that, he had to think how to ask XiChen to let him back to work at the school the following day.
*
A-Qing had seen many things in life, met many horrible people, dealt with the scum of the scum... but she had yet to meet XuanYu. 
A menace. A hurricane. A fool. The amount of times she had had to scoop him up from the ground after he had clumsily slipped on invisible bananas and such should have earned her a honorary title for outstanding citizen. It’s been months since his arrival and the kids had already learned to make way whenever they saw him. He inspired fear even in their tiny heads, honestly. What a fellow teaching assistant, really.
She was just there to score brownie points for his electives and internship program to become a social service worker, that was true. But she cared about the kids enough to know she had to do something about that. The children loved XuanYu and they were this fucking close to either worship him like a small deity or criminal and something ought to be done.
The last thing she would have expected to see, however, was Jiang Cheng coming back so soon. Crawling back from university to ask to work there, wagging his tail like the lovesick dog he was. She could easily imagine what the older student would have said to XiChen, something on the line of “you know goddamn well I’m not doing it for the money. I grew up here, I don’t want to see this place crumbling down. I’m definitely not doing it because I’m in love with you and seeing you sad makes me want to gag.”
Well, maybe the last part could be considered artistic license from her part, but judging by what she could overhear behind XiChen’s office door... yep. She had definitely nailed the part about being fond of the ex-orphanage and for the rest... the sentiment was there. The pining bastard.
“Do you need anything, A-Qing?”, XuanYu asked her out of no-fucking-where, startling her as she pretended to dust off the floor very close to a door. Cheek-plastered-on-it kind of close.
“Nothing. Mind your business,” she answered, flustered as fuck.
XuanYu couldn’t be that naive, he knew what he was fucking doing. His creepy little smile so similar to the one the debt collect always had on his face. No wonder XiChen had fallen for such a tricky bitch.
“Then will you help me find JinGyi? He doesn’t want me to help him with his project for the festival and went into hiding again.”
There, that smile and knowing gaze. Judging poser. He looked much older than his alleged twenty years. He knew what he was fucking doi...
“You?!”
Jiang Cheng’s honest-to-gods screech pulled A-Qing out of her thoughts. She turned and had to witness XiChen amiably patting Jiang Cheng on the head as their boss explained him how XuanYu worked there. 
“It’s been almost six months now, he’s a very valuable kid and helped out around here while you were studying.”
Jiang Cheng was both livid and red with longing, because his touch-starved ass was all over that hand patting him platonically on the head. He was also angry, which was default for him... but there was something else underneath. Something promising in the way he stared XuanYu down.
Maybe A-Qing could win some candy by betting with the kids about such unexpected turn of events.
*
ZiZhen believed A-Yi. If his friend had told him the new teacher assistant was a witch then he was right. So they had started researching witches at the school, but only found a couple of colored books on the matter, mostly useless. All but one, telling the story of a nanny called Mary Poppins... some western thing.
But everything checked for the most part. The hat was there, every day a different one, but ultimately never leaving XuanYu’s head. The umbrella was not, but both him and A-Yuan had seen their gege with a parasol once and that was enough. His satchel contained infinite amount of things, from sweets to possessed stuffed animals, like a qiankun bag from the legends! He talked with things as if he could control them.
Well, even the teacher sometimes tried to convince the printer to work with sweet words, gently coaxing it back to life... maybe that was just how adults functioned. Even his dad would ask the fridge where his favorite cake had disappeared sometimes. Adults were weird.
*
Fuck Lanling. Rain day and night, autumn planning everyone’s demise by flooding every bloody year. Xue Yang was over it.
He took a random umbrella from the rack by the door of the convenience store and left without a second thought, already wondering what he could say to convince XingChen to offer him dinner somewhere new. The man wasn’t married anymore after all, so Xue Yang could technically have his way with him now, right?
“Excuse me!”
Xue Yang was not in the mood for people calling him out on his bullshit that night, but he turned anyway and saw the weirdest thing. A young man roughly his age, maybe a year or so younger, drenched from head to toe after rushing to him. He was panting, clutching a plastic bag full of cleaning supplies from the convenience store Xue Yang had just left.
“I believe you mistakenly took my umbrella,” the other said, pretty face framed by wet hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks.
Amused, Xue Yang shut the clear plastic umbrella he had “mistakenly taken” and held it at arm’s length by the handle, directing the pointy edge to the other like a sword. Hell if he was going to get wet himself, he needed to prove something to the idiot. He could handle a bit of rain for the sake of being dramatic.
“You want it back?” Xue Yang asked, rising his chin and arching an eyebrow at the other. The man nodded, holding his now wet beret in place on top of his head as if he was more worried about it falling on the ground than keeping his crown dry.
“I knew it was someone else’s when I took it.”
“But...?”
“And what’ll you give me back for it? What are you gonna do about it?”
This should have taught him not to mess with him: he didn’t even have to use his business tone to make the other take a step back. Meng Yao, the bastard, had taught him smiles went a long way in dealing with stupid people after all.
“Right, if I take it from you... you won’t have one to go back home with.”
Uh?
“Wait here. I’ll go buy you one at the convenience store. I’ll be back.”
Uh??
The idiot actually run back to the store and purchased him a fucking umbrella. And Xue Yang was twice as stupid because he waited for him to come back, startled as he was. The idiot was smiling megawatt bright when he came back as well, what the fuck?
The sick bastard extended the clear plastic umbrella to him like Xue Yang had done earlier, but he held it by the middle, as if surrendering his weapon. It was fairly similar to the one Xue Yang had stolen anyway, why bother asking for his umbrella back?
“Did your dead mother give this particular one to you or something?”
The bite in his words only mildly deterred the other man, who pressed his lips together before forcing an even bigger smile on his face.
“No. It’s pretty cheap. But it’s mine. It’s the first thing I bought with my money.”
Xue Yang left after that. With the stolen umbrella. Because he was still a scumbag and not a sentimental asshole. But he was very quiet that evening when XingChen treated him to some fancy takeout on his couch while lovingly drying Xue Yang’s hair with a towel.
Nothing made sense anymore.
*
Qin Su worried over Jiang Cheng. He was her best worker, but she knew for a fact that he had a million part-time jobs in town and she didn’t want to overwork him. She also knew he would give all of his hard-earned money to XiChen anyway. All to pay a stupid debt. The huge lovesick idiot.
Was he the fastest delivery driver? Yes. Was he the most well behaved of his staff? Not even close. But he was respectful enough to work over his issues and she trusted him with doing his job at the end of the day.
So when she found a young man in a frilly outfit waiting for her on the lobby of her shop asking for Jiang Cheng... well, she was pleasantly surprised.
He introduced himself as XuanYu and held a lunch box in his hands, saying Jiang Cheng had forgotten it at home. Which left A-Su properly impressed. How could a man as angry as Jiang Cheng secure himself such a lovely person was beyond her comprehension, honestly.
He was adorable and she wanted to be his sister like, yesterday.
But when Jiang Cheng came back from a delivery, entering the dumpling shop with his helmet still on, he stared XuanYu down and told him off right off the bat.
“Not you again,” he said, to A-Su’s utter confusion, “Can’t you take a fucking hint? I’m already avoiding you at work. I don’t want to be your friend.”
Something akin to hurt painted XuanYu’s feature for a fraction of a second before he could retrieve his smile and point at the lunch box.
“Your sister asked me to give this to you on my way out. A-Ling helped making rice cakes this time and wanted to hear from you if you liked them or not.”
Qin Su could have easily missed the change in XuanYu’s voice at that, that’s how much of a good actor he was. But Jiang Cheng had no face even to feel ashamed for lashing out at the kid like that. How much older could he be from XuanYu, three years? Two? Had nobody taught him some respect?
“XuanYu, if he bullies you again you come here. Am I understood?”
Like hell she was gonna let this gem of a child slip away from Jiang Cheng’s hands.
Not in a million years.
*
Song Lan breathed in and out. In and out. The clear morning air surrounded him like an old friend, hugging him closely as he clutched the papers for his divorce.
XingChen had signed them in the end. Five years together were now in the past for him.
Maybe they had been too young back then, when they had taken the chance to get married the moment the government announced the change in the law for people like them. How old have they been, twenty-three? Twenty-four? Another lifetime. An existence away.
He wished he could cry. It would have been easier.
But, as he turned a corner, someone stumbled into him and sent the papers scattering on the sidewalk. Song Lan tried to save them from being dirtied on a puddle but was unsuccessful. He didn’t know why he bothered anymore. It felt like the last piece of his lover had left and Song Lan couldn’t even prevent something as simple as that. XingChen’s signature dirtied in a pool, but not enough to be washed away. What a joke.
The young man in front him bowed down, apologizing profusely, trying to save the documents at the best of his abilities. He even suggested finding a public toilet to dry the sheets under the hot air blowing machine, the silly man.
Song Lan smiled instead, reassuring him it was fine.
He was fine.
But the kid accidentally read the first few lines of the agreement before looking up at Song Lan. And where he would have expected pity, Song Lan only saw consternation instead on his pale face. It was so startling to see it, that he had to crouch back down on the ground next to the kid and reassure him everything was fine. It was just paper, it wasn’t important, he didn’t have to feel so guilty about...
“It is important. Your life is important.”
Such a dramatic sentence, uttered so vehemently, should have sounded weird to Song Lan. Especially because he disapproved of such antics in the first place. But it sounded so sincere, so earnest that he felt touched for a moment.
So he helped the kid up on his feet and asked him to walk a bit with him, to keep him company. Reserved as he was, he would have never thought possible opening up to a stranger the way he did that day. But there was something calming about the kid, almost as if he had been put on earth to soothe other people’s existence.
So he told him how his husband had fallen in love with someone else, someone much younger than them. How this had strained their marriage even if Song Lan had known all along his husband had the ability to fall in love with more than one person at a time. But Song Lan was monogamous and would have never justified forcing his lover to suppress his feelings just to please him. So it had been Song Lan himself to call it quits and wish him all the luck in the world.
The kid had started crying at some point, without Song Lan even noticing at first.
“Why are you crying? Please no, I didn’t wan to upset you.”
“So much love. In different ways but... it’s too much. There’s so much of it, of course I’m crying for you and your loved one.”
Song Lan was many things. Too stern, too rigid, too peculiar about who could touch him or not, too cold in expressing his emotions. But he felt warm then, in front of a kid crying for him in the middle of the street, one day of late autumn.
“Thank you.”
***
XuanYu let it slip once with Mrs. Jin how little he remembered of his past. 
It wasn’t a lie, he really didn’t remember what it had been of him before he had met her, asking for a room. But the kind woman just assumed he was talking about his past or youth, so he didn’t correct her on the matter.
Knowing the truth would have scared her, after all.
But he still let himself trust her that day as they sat in front of a pot of tea and he pretended to drink and eat the pastries on the low table. He didn’t need to eat or drink. He wasn’t even sure he had a digestive system.
“I only remember... a song.”
“A song?”
“Yes. Someone singing every night before falling asleep. I don’t think it was meant for me to hear... but my body remembers the shivers. The feeling of being loved.”
“The body remembers the weirdest things, XuanYu. You should trust it more.”
He smiled at that, wriggling his hands on the handkerchief where he had hidden the pastries from sight.
“I’m pretty sure that song wasn’t for me. My body was merely there to listen.”
YanLi looked uncomfortable at that, something scary painting her features.
“Maybe I was eavesdropping,” he reassured her with a self-deprecating joke, not sure if that would have made her feel more at ease or not, “Maybe I was listening in, hoping such lovely words could be directed at me for once.”
Mrs. Jin sipped her tea for a long while afterwards, before finding the resolution to look up and stare him down with a serious expression.
“Unrequited feelings hurt, don’t they?”
XuanYu didn’t know what she meant by that, but he nodded anyway.
He heard something rustling in his bag and hid the sweets inside of it the moment YanLi turned to clear the table. If A-Ling heard someone munching their protests away from inside of the bag, he didn’t snitch on XuanYu and retrieved playing with Fairy on the carpeted floor next to him instead.
*
Lan Zhan was disappointed in him, XuanYu knew that much. They were admiring the sunset from the small balcony in their room, folding laundry.
XuanYu always wondered why Lan Zhan assumed the form of a black stuffed rabbit, of all things, but he didn’t want to pry. He didn’t even know his real name. The other had told him he used to be a human in his past life and that he hadn’t technically reincarnated in this lifetime. That his current form was just a mean to a goal, that he could use it to guide XuanYu and help him better that way without expending much spiritual energy.
He told him someone dear to him taught him how to manipulate paper-man talismans in his previous life. How similar the process had been to move around in a stuffed animal’s body. How convenient.
XuanYu believed he secretly loved it, even if Lan Zhan would have never said as much. He already talked very little to begin with.
“You told her you don’t remember your past.”
“That I did.”
“Don’t do it again”
XuanYu folded the last towel on his lap and then let Lan Zhan take a nap on it. He felt silly having to take showers and pretend to be a normal human being. He hated inconveniencing the Jins with him, accepting their bedding and paid kitchen appliances and so on. But if he wanted to accomplish his mission he had to make an effort to look normal... instead of spirited away from another world or maybe simply another era.
“I won’t do it again, don’t worry Lan Zhan.”
*
Lan Zhan was disappointed, but he was also patient to a fault.
Sure, it would have been much appreciated if Mo XuanYu didn’t lose him around every other day. This time the younger man had forgotten to pick him up from the floor where he had been reading stories to the children at the kindergarten.
But Lan Zhan was also a stuffed animal now, so it wasn’t like he could move around and risk being seeing by normal humans. His body was a vessel and any damage would have had repercussions on his soul as well. 
What to do.
He tried not to panic when he felt someone picking him up from the floor after an hour or so. He silently prayed for them not to be A-Qing: even in this life she was too smart for her own good and he couldn’t risk being found out so soon. Mo XuanYu wasn’t even halfway to complete his mission and Lan Zhan couldn’t...
“I’m sure A-Yu is looking for you, little guy. What are doing all the way back here?”
It was always difficult to hear his older brother’s voice in this life. To see his face, to notice how sad he was even in this new reincarnation of his.
Lan Zhan didn’t move a single muscle as XiChen dusted him off and put him in his apron front pocket as he looked for “A-Yu”.
In order to give a second chance to Mo XuanYu, Lan Zhan had sacrificed any possibility to ever reincarnate until his mission was accomplished. So XiChen didn’t have a younger brother in this lifetime and he would have not had one for a while. Lan Zhan missed him, but they had to wait for a bit more.
They still had three months to fill the bottle the King of Hell had entrusted Mo XuanYu with. Then he would have entered the list for reincarnation once more and everything will have been fine in the end.
Lan Zhan owed the kid his life, so he trusted him.
No matter what.
*
XuanYu remembered the boy who had stolen his umbrella. He remembered him well enough to recognize him when he found him crawling on the floor, a stab wound in his belly, one winter night.
Panicked, he asked Lan Zhan what they could do as he instinctively pressed the wound with his bare hands. Lan Zhan didn’t dare move not to attract attention on himself. The other man snarled out at XuanYu, asking him why did he even bother, seemingly recognizing him.
“I took your fucking umbrella. Hate me and leave me alone.”
“Ridiculous.”
Lan Zhan would have been proud of him for that remark, but XuanYu was too scared to think about it. He didn’t have a phone and he didn’t even know the number for emergencies. He wasn’t even qualified to be a teacher. How had he survived until then. He was useless and stupid and...
“What the fuck?” Jiang Cheng’s voice came in a whisper behind him.
What a sorry view the older man had to take in that night: a pool of blood staining otherwise clean clothes, a moaning boy on the ground in restless pain, a crying mess of a sad excuse of a human pressing on a throbbing wound next to him.
Jiang Cheng muttered something about the boy being one of Meng Yao’s men, that they should leave him there to die for all he cared.
The man under XuanYu barked back, telling him he had tried to “convince the idiot of the same”. But XuanYu was horrified by what he had just heard.
“People die for nothing. People die for fucking nothing. You don’t leave someone behind just because you fucking hate them.”
XuanYu has never cursed in this brief, borrowed life of his. Maybe spending so much time with Jiang Cheng had rubbed some of his habits off on him in the end.
Startled, Jiang Cheng seemed to agree with him because he fished out his phone and called an ambulance right away.
The stabbed man laughed at that.
*
Lan Zhan was clutched in XuanYu’s hands as they waited in the corridor of a badly lit hospital. The kid was crying, hard. He must have remembered how his family in Mo Manor had mistreated him in the past, how easily his own relatives had starved him off just out of spite. How already impossibly emaciated he had been when he had sacrificed his body for Wei Ying, to bring him back in a weakened vessel just to seek revenge. Just to let his hatred run free.
Such cruelty had earned him nothing but distrust from the hell judges, who sentenced him to never be reincarnated again. Only when Lan Zhan had ascended to heaven -many centuries after reaching immortality- he had been able to make them relent.
If Mo XuanYu could prove to be a good human being during a trial time of one year on planet earth, filling a vial with good actions in the form of golden gems, then they would have considered Lan Zhan’s proposal. Mo XuanYu would have atoned his sin and be granted a new life, a clean record, and a second chance at happiness.
Seeing someone almost die in front of him must have awaken something ugly in him. His stained hands, the iron stench in the air. All that blood... like the last thing he had most probably seen in his previous life before his body sacrifice. A scarlet array under his feet, another soul replacing his in his own body.
Lan Zhan let himself be held tightly in Mo XuanYu’s hands that night at the hospital.
And hugged back without anyone else noticing.
*
Xiao XingChen. That was the name of the man showing up at the kindergarten one week later. XuanYu had never seen him before, but the man hugged him in front of the kids, alerting both XiChen and Jiang Cheng.
“Thank you,” the tall man said in between tears, holding him tight.
“I don’t understand. I...”
“You saved A-Yang. Thank you.”
XuanYu pressed his lips together tightly at that, so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to say. His fingertips hurting with sometimes akin to electricity the more he let himself be held so fiercely by the other man.
He started crying in earnest only after the man had left, surrounded by the children who worried and fussed over him. He fell asleep with them during nap time and when he woke up he found Jiang Cheng placing a quilt over him.
Caught red handed, the older man feigned disinterest in the beginning... but then he sat down next to him. Just like he had done in the hospital one week ago.
“Did you see someone die before?” Jiang Cheng asked then, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, “You had such a strong... reaction to my words. It was insensitive of me. I apologize for angering you. I’ll better myself.”
XuanYu didn’t answer at that. 
Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to sacrifice yourself to hatred and revenge. How much it had scarred him to be brought back to life, but only as a worn out set of robes on top of someone else’s soul. How distant he had felt when the Yiling Patriarch had inhabited his body and had let himself be touched by someone else.
Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to be touched in the flesh but be utterly unreachable as a soul. Or how much it hurt to become an empty body filled by someone foreign and new. Someone who could wear his skin better than him.
Jiang Cheng would have never understood. And thank all the gods for that.
So XuanYu... Mo XuanYu kept quiet and smiled instead.
*
Lan Zhan didn’t trust Jiang Cheng. He hadn’t in the past and he wasn’t gonna start now. Wei Ying would have been so disappointed in him for thinking badly of his baby brother, but there was little Lan Zhan could do about that.
Wei Ying wasn’t there to judge him for it.
Mo XuanYu would wake up every morning and wash himself, get dressed and tidy up the room before leaving. He would fix his appearance in a mirror Young Lady Jiang had gifted him in autumn, making sure his hat was still in place.
“What would happen if I were to...?”
“You must keep your hat on... even when you sleep. You know this much.”
“I wear a headband to bed.”
“And what of it?”
“It’s... silly.”
“Nobody can see you in your sleep. Why the sudden worry?”
Mo XuanYu said nothing in response to that, but Lan Zhan knew. The kid had never worried too much about his appearance aside from looking proper and well dressed. He had never fussed over his features, but recently he had taken the habit to walk dangerously close to makeup stores and check various displays at the convenience store close by. Lan Zhan knew Mo XuanYu had remembered his past... how he had quickly realized he was already an adult. With needs and desires.
But now a brand new reincarnation of Jiang WanYin would wait for him every morning to walk to work together. Now Jiang Cheng acted pleasantly enough to be considered kind and doting to someone starved of affection like Mo XuanYu had always been. Which wasn’t planned, it had never been.
Lan Zhan didn’t like where this was going.
He didn’t like it at all.
*
Nie HuaiSang came to bring a cake for XuanYu one day or so before the end of the year, snow sticking to his hair and flushed cheeks.
“I don’t know when your birthday is... so I’m pretty sure I’m late to the game. But I wanted to thank you for helping me and MianMian that one time. So I made a cake for you. I hope you like strawberries.”
Mo XuanYu had no idea if he liked them or not. He couldn’t even eat.
He started crying in the middle of his room, where HuaiSang had placed the boxed cake on top of his low table.
Panicked, HuaiSang jumped up and out of the room to alert Jiang Cheng next door. But upon seeing the other man’s worried expression XuanYu cried even harder.
“What did you do to him, you bastard?”
“I’m not the one who used to prank people all the time. Grow up!”
“You clearly did something horrible to him for...”
“A-Cheng we’re not twelve anymore. Who do you take me for?”
XuanYu took his chance to stuff his face with cake, gulping it down bit by bit even if he knew he didn’t have the necessary organs to process it without vomiting it all out in an hour or so. He had tried many times to hold food down to no avail. His body rejecting it as if it was poisonous and dangerous.
He had tried so many times... to practice. To be able to appreciate YanLi’s generous cooking, to help A-Ling and the children at school prep their lunches and maybe... maybe to eat with Jiang Cheng every now and then.
Nie HuaiSang hugged him and patted his head, confused but too scared to ask for an explanation. Mo XuanYu smiled at him and lied, saying his cake was the best he had ever eaten. It wasn’t the best. It was simply the first.
He had no way to compare it with anything else, really.
*
Wen Ning had heard about his “stomachache” from XiChen, who had known all about it from YanLi and Jiang Cheng. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise for XuanYu when he saw the older boy in front of his apartment complex the last day of the year.
But it was a surprise.
“Can we talk for a bit?” Wen Ning asked, holding his umbrella up for XuanYu to walk beside him, protecting him from the icy snow.
They walked to the nearest park, sitting under the gazebo to watch the snow falling down. Their heavy coats keeping them warm, despite the cold.
They used to take long walks back from the kindergarten with A-Yuan after school, since the Wens lived close to XuanYu. Before Jiang Cheng came back anyway.
Wen Ning looked uncomfortable, fidgeting with his fingers as he tried to find the right words. He surprised XuanYu by telling him how, in the past, he had suffered from an eating disorder and had been hospitalized for a while in his teens. How worried his sister and their grandma had been for him, how much they helped him in his recovery. How alone he had felt for years still, no matter how loved he was.
“A-Yuan told me he never saw you eat. So I was wondering if you needed help.”
It wasn’t the case, but XuanYu knew he meant well. Telling him everything was fine would have only worried him more, so he tried to explain an half-truth that could satisfy him. Saying it was difficult for him to process food, that in the past he had suffered from malnutrition and now he had digestive issues.
He was talking about his past life, but he figured that could work as well.
When they parted ways in front of the apartment complex, Wen Ning asked to hold XuanYu’s hands for a bit. He cradled them carefully, as if they were precious. His slender fingers cupping XuanYu’s smaller palms almost reverently.
“I know you don’t feel the same about me. But I’ll ask you to look after yourself anyway. Not out of obligation for me... but out of respect for yourself, if nothing else.”
The moment Wen Ning let go of his hands, Jiang Cheng stepped out of the front door of the building and saw them.
He said nothing and walked away after stepping out of the gate.
*
Lan Zhan would have very much liked to flip a finger at Jiang WanYin’s forehead. Hard. Wei Ying would have done the same, he was sure.
Wei Ying would have also smacked some sense in his baby brother, forcing him to face his feelings and take responsibility for what he was doing to poor Mo XuanYu.
Who was currently waiting for the other man’s return like a dog by his room balcony, surveying the front courtyard like a bird of prey from above.
Lan Zhan tried to coax the kid inside, reminding him snow was still falling down and that his beanie was slipping away. He tried to be gentle about it, knowing how much XuanYu had grown resentful of the hats he had to constantly wear.
But the younger man simply shrugged, saying he wanted to wait for another five minutes. Just one more. Just to make sure.
Jiang Cheng didn’t come back that night.
And Mo XuanYu cried in his sleep clutching the half-empty vial to his chest.
Lan Zhan spent the night watching over him, singing to him the song he had written for Wei Ying. He snuggled close to XuanYu and made sure his wide headband was covering the crown of his head, before pressing himself to the other’s forehead.
He never stopped singing.
Wishing he could take all the pain away.
*
YanLi, A-Yuan and even ZiXuan knocked on his door to greet him into the new year, despite how XuanYu should have been the one to pay his respects to his landlords.
But they asked him to visit the funeral home with them instead, to say their thanks to YanLi’s parents with offers and flowers.
He dressed in his best clothes, having never been in what seemed to be a modern version of the ancestral halls of his childhood in a past life. The establishment was fairly sterile, with shelves filled with plaques and pictures instead of wooden inscriptions on an altar. The lot of them bowed and said their thanks, chatting with the late Jiangs almost as if they had never left. YanLi apologized to her mother for Jiang Cheng’s absence that year like any other year, while ZiXuan told his father-in-law how they would have visited the Jin ancestors during Chūnjié to make it fair.
XuanYu looked at them and barely kept himself from crying.
On their way back, YanLi explained her parents had died when she was still twelve and Jiang Cheng was merely six. How they had lived in the orphanage run by XiChen’s mother and made friends with the boy, who was YanLi’s classmate. How the siblings stayed there until YanLi came of age and got custody of her baby brother. ZiXuan’s family of lawyers had helped her pro bono and that was how she had met the man and fallen in love with him. Even if it had taken a while for ZiXuan to notice her at first, preoccupied with university and law school as he had been at the time. But the Jins helped her with the inheritance left by the late Madame Yu: the apartment complex where they currently lived.
Watching them explaining their past in such detail moved XuanYu deeply. Feeling as if they wanted to make him part of their family by filling in the gaps for him.
That was still his older brother after all and those were still his sister-in-law and his beloved nephew and he... he loved them. He had missed them so, so much.
And he was about to leave them again soon.
*
Wen Qing finally showed herself up one day at the park, when Mo XuanYu was taking Fairy out for an evening walk. She approached him by telling the younger man she had assisted in the surgery Xue Yang had undergone some time back.
Lan Zhan (hiding in the kid’s coat pocket) could see how startled the kid was at the mention of the criminal, but he decided to trust this version of Lady Wen as he would have done in the past.
Wei Ying cared deeply for her, after all.
Whatever truths she was about to entrust Mo XuanYu with, Lan Zhan knew the kid could take it.
He hoped as much, at least.
*
Jiang Cheng came back only for Chinese New Year. Saying he had stayed at XiChen’s since the winter break allowed them to take it easy and figure some stuff out for the following school year.
It hurt to know where he had been all along, but XuanYu braved a smile anyway. He knew how much Jiang Cheng cared for the older man, how much he wanted to save the school from the debt collector. How much he didn’t love XuanYu back.
So he let himself cry one last time before waking up one morning and deciding he had had enough.
He talked with Lan Zhan, asking him to tell him all about Wei WuXian and their love. If XuanYu’s sacrifice had allowed them to be happy as they deserved in the end. If Lan Zhan hated him now, for forcing him away from his loved one, who was currently waiting for him to come back to heaven.
Mo XuanYu knew the couple had sacrificed their chance at reincarnation to allow him to seek a second lifetime for himself. He knew Wei Ying watched over them from up above, waiting for Lan Zhan to secure a new life for the kid.
They talked all day and then well into the night.
By dawn Mo XuanYu had decided what to do.
*
XuanYu properly met Meng Yao one day of early spring, when flowers weren’t yet brave enough to poke their way out and greet the sun. The man was dressed in black, his hair cut short, a sigarette between his lips as he waited patiently for the kindergarten to open.
It was XuanYu’s duty to open that morning, so he was the one to greet the man.
Upon hearing his voice, Meng Yao immediately recognized him.
“There you are. I was waiting for you.”
“Me?”
“You’re the kid who answered the phone. And the one who helped my subordinate back in winter, right?”
His dimples were so deep, his face so pleasant.
Mo XuanYu remembered him from another lifetime. He remembered how much he had cared for his older brother Jin GuangYao. How hurt he had felt when the other had lied and accused him of harassment just to get rid of him.
But this was a new life and Meng Yao was just a man.
Who happened to have been married with XiChen for a while before turning to a life filled with crime and gang violence.
Wen Qing had told him Meng Yao had initially tried to live far away from his adoptive father Wen RuoHan. All for the sake of marrying XiChen and keep him safe. But XiChen’s mother still had had a debt to pay for the construction of the orphanage, a price too high for her to pay with her poor health and delicate disposition. A debt that XiChen had inherited from her when she had died.
That was why Meng Yao had left him: to go back to his father and ask him to handle the debt himself, supplicating him to overlook such small issue and let him dry XiChen out of every penny and cent instead.
Wen Qing may have learned this only from the gossiping running in her family, with the Wen Clan being as big as it was, but she was pretty sure of what she had told XuanYu. That Meng Yao had simply faked having fallen out of love with XiChen to protect him from his adoptive father and his cruelty. That XiChen still loved him and was waiting for him to fight alongside him instead.
Mo XuanYu knew all of this.
So now he could act and fulfill his mission.
*
“I want to pay the debt XiChen owes you.”
“You are full of surprises, XuanYu. And how do you plan to do that?”
“I can do many things.”
“You’re very pretty, you can make good money out of it.”
XuanYu considered his words before shaking his head.
“It’s not something I can do.”
“Then what can you do?”
“I’ll solve everything.”
“I’m all ears.”
“But you’ll have to stop making XiChen worry so much.”
“That’s not how business work...”
“Lie to me. Give your word and I’ll... I will solve everything.”
Meng Yao humored him and nodded.
Then and only then, Mo XuanYu took his hat off.
*
Lan Zhan had watched the entire scene unfold before his eyes without intervening, trusting Mo XuanYu with such an important choice. He took in the sight of the beautiful spiritual light shining brightly on top of XuanYu’s head like a crown.
His soul in full display, its energy so raw it had slowed down time all around them.
Lan Zhan turned around and looked at XiChen, who had just turned a corner and had been walking towards XuanYu to greet him good morning. Frozen in time, his older brother’s face still looked peaceful... simply because he had had no time to notice Meng Yao’s presence quite yet.
Lan Zhan turned once more and saw Jiang WanYin making his way in a rush towards them, surely to protect XuanYu from Meng Yao. When did he arrive? His features trapped in a perpetual frown, scared for the one he truly loved in this lifetime.
Then, Lan Zhan looked up at Mo XuanYu and saw him taking the bottle only half filled with gold... which symbolized his goodwill and generous spirit.
“Will this be enough to grant a wish, Lan Zhan?”
When XuanYu said his name like that he sounded so much like his Wei Ying, full of hope and love.
“It depends on the wish, A-Yu.”
“I reckon it’s not enough for a new reincarnation, eh?”
“It’s enough to save a life... but not yours.”
XuanYu looked crestfallen, but he persevered still.
The bottle transformed into a bag filled with money and XuanYu made his way to XiChen and left it at his feet before smiling up at his mentor and employer.
“I cannot rewrite the past, but maybe I can plan a better future for you.”
Still smiling, XuanYu slowly walked over to Jiang Cheng and said his farewells.
Then he crouched down and took Lan Zhan in his hands, kissing him goodbye on the head affectionately.
“Erase me well, Lan Zhan,” he whispered then.
Before disappearing into thin air.
***
Wei Ying had agreed with him, suggesting the idea himself.
In the end the King of Hell had granted Lan Zhan’s request and offered Mo XuanYu a second chance anyway. Since this new self-sacrifice had been fueled by positive emotions instead of anger and despair, the hell judges had considered the atonement fulfilled and put the kid’s name back on the reincarnation list.
Twenty years had past and many things had changed.
For starters, the kid’s last name wasn’t Mo anymore, but Nie. The boy had, in fact, born into Nie MingJue’s family and had lived overseas in Japan for a while before moving back to Lanling when XuanYu turned twenty. Nie HuaiSang had met him many times during summer vacations and other festivities, visiting his brother and his wife every chance he had gotten to dote on his cute nephew XuanYu.
Nie MingJue had done a remarkable job in protecting him from harm. So, by the time their little family had decided to move close to HuaiSang, XuanYu had become a well adjusted adult with a brilliant future ahead of him.
Nobody remembered him.
Or so Lan Zhan had thought.
Apparently, he had forgotten to wipe Jin Ling’s memories thoroughly. So, when The Nie family had come to greet HuaiSang’s friends YanLi and ZiXuan, A-Ling almost had a stroke out of incredulity and happiness for being reunited with his “A-Yu”. Even if Jin Ling was now older than the pretty-gege from his memories. Even if he had spent years trying to figure out why nobody seemed to remember the weird uncle living next door to his Jiujiu years back.
XiChen and Meng Yao had solved their problems and had started running the school together right after Wen RuoHan sudden and mysterious disappearance. The man had many enemies after all. 
A-Yuan had grown up into a fine young man, someone Wei Ying would have certainly been proud of, working with his cousin Wen Ning at the local botanical garden while his friends still studied in university. 
Nie HuaiSang had married Qin Su and opened a restaurant with her. 
MianMian and Wen Qing had decided to live together and adopt a bunch of dogs just because. 
Xiao XingChen and Xue Yang still lived together while Song Lan had found his way back to them after talking it out with the couple. 
A-Qing was probably running some sketchy business in social services to protect kids from horrible families.
Lan Zhan was still, unfortunately, a stuffed rabbit. Following XuanYu in his new life in the most unexpected of ways. In the form of the first present the boy’s uncle had gifted him in childhood. If Wei Ying had pulled a string or two from heaven to make that happen, well, Lan Zhan himself was none the wiser. The only thing he knew was that XuanYu had always taken him with him in all his travels even if he didn’t know he could speak. Lan Zhan had preferred not to reveal his nature and let the kid have a normal childhood. Especially since he had no memories of his past as a tenant in Jiang YanLi’s house. Nor of his life as a cultivator.
Wei Ying had agreed they could wait to be reunited again. The both of them wanting to look over XuanYu for a little longer before getting their own chance at reincarnation. They had all eternity to be together again... they could definitely wait a bit more for the kid.
All was well.
Aside from the other person whose mind Lan Zhan had conveniently forgot to wipe clean of any memory of XuanYu.
In his defense, Lan Zhan had tried to make Jiang Cheng forget. But something about XuanYu must have touched him so deeply... that Lan Zhan had not been able to do much about it. The kid’s smiles and clumsy antics would always linger in the back of the other’s mind no matter how much he tried to ignore them.
Coming back from his job at ZiXuan’s firm, exhausted and vulnerable, Jiang Cheng decided to visit his sister the same day Nie MingJue had brought his family there. So he was particularly weak to the sight of a bright, soft XuanYu when YanLi introduced her younger brother to their guests.
To Lan Zhan’s absolute delight, Jiang Cheng immediately bowed down to a scary looking Nie MingJue and asked his son’s hand in marriage.
Yes, grovel to this precious boy and learn your place.
XuanYu only tilted his head at that weird man bowing to his parents and smiled.
His laughter ringing up to the sky, where Wei Ying was still listening.
From where he would have kept watching.
*
[I worked so hard on this please reblog]
*
[kobato means “little dove” I thought it was cute since XuanYu is a magpie! + I wanted MXY a chance at life and for once this is a reversal-sacrifice from WWX’s part and I think it’s neat.]
[JC would be 43 or so... which yikes. but this is all I could do. I don’t like huge age gaps but at least everyone is a consenting adult, okay?]
[the thing that started this was like “what if LXC was an only child and LWJ did not reincarnate bc he’s still in the afterlife or something? then the entire thing escalated so...yeah.]
now I will cry for ages. I worked so hard on this good god D:
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asknerddash · 7 years
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Fluttershy’s a huge anime nerd and drew Kingdom Hearts x Sailor Moon FanComics when she was little.
Below is a story about Fluttershy and Identity. I tried.
Updated with Editing by my friend Kimberly.
A long while back, there was a boy that loved drawing. He also loved anime and Kingdom Hearts was pretty anime. The only problem with Kingdom Hearts was it didn’t have any magical girls in it. They were his favorite kind of show. They were so pretty, graceful, and strong.
He read fanfiction and fan comics before and really liked the idea of them. So he decided that the first fancomic he’d draw would be a crossover between Kingdom Hearts and Sailor Moon. It only took a month before he had a full 32-page comic book completed and he loved it.
Until a friend of his visited and noticed the comic. The boy tried to hide it from her, but she was way faster than him.
She paged through it quickly, but intently while the boy cowered in embarrassment.
“Dude, this is awesome!” she said.
“W-what?” he replied.
“Have you thought about putting these online like those other comics you like?”
He had but was too scared. Why would anyone like his comic?
She assured him that it really was awesome and that other people would love it!
So he scanned it, made a simple website, and began the webcomic Sailor Flutterstar.
And then he became internet famous.
His friend wasn’t exaggerating. People really liked it. He was surprised to see so many people enjoying Sailor Flutterstar’s adventures. A young boy that used the keyblade as his magic wand to transform into a brave and powerful magical girl!
People praised its originality, cute art, and how strangely relatable the characters were. The complexity of the plot was a bit obtuse, but that just came with the territory.
During its three year long run, Sailor Flutterstar entertained thousands of people and finally ended with her becoming an honorary Disney Princess (in the fan comic that is). It was a great series, many lamented it’s ending, but unfortunately, they never knew the author’s name.
The boy was very secretive. Even though he was well loved on the internet, he knew he would be mocked by the bullies at his school. They already mocked him for his girly hair, soft voice, and gentle nature. It made it hard to feel okay about being himself. He wanted to play it safe and just sign his comics with his website URL. So every email and forum post received referred to him as Flutterstar.
He really liked it. He felt Flutterstar was something to look up to. Maybe one day, he could stand up to his bullies, like she did. He could be strong, like her. He could be graceful and beautiful and do what’s right without second-guessing himself.
She was happy and maybe he could be like her.
So he decided to draw a surprise 5-page epilogue. He wrote out that after becoming a Princess, Sailor Flutterstar permanently became a girl. She didn’t have to fake being a guy anymore and could finally be who she really was. It felt so liberating.
“Thank you all for the years of encouragement and kind words. I’m glad you enjoyed my comic, but I think we’ve reached the end now. I wish I could think of more ways to show how much this comic meant to me and how much it helped me learn more about myself, but I’d hate to be a bother by wasting your time.
I’d just like to say, as much as I love being called Flutterstar, I think I’m much more of a Fluttershy if anything ^^. So I guess you can call me that.”
Fluttershy was a nice name.
He posted his final comic online and looked to his friend. She had finished assembling a model rocket and was rotating it around on her fingers.
“Hey Rainbow Dash, C-could you call me Fluttershy from now on?”
“Uh, sure dude, but isn’t that like a girl’s name?” Dash replied as she inspected her model rocket’s intricate details.
“Umm, yes, yes it is...and...oh dear. Could you, could you call me a girl?”
“Huh? Oh, sure dud-uhh-girl!” Dash corrected herself as she painted the tail.
“You’re okay with that?,” Fluttershy said through her long hair.
“Yeah d-ugh-girl, if that’s the way you feel, sure, why not?” She blew gently on the drying paint. “I mean, you’ll need to give me a bit to really get used to it, but you’re my best friend. And if anybody tries to mess with yah, you know I got your back.”
“Oh thank you, Rainbow!” She leaped toward her friend giving her a tight hug.
“Yeah, n-no probs, Fluttershy!” Dash wheezed.
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sugirandom · 7 years
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365 days of writing: day 259
Day 259: Goodbye party
      Good afternoon, a little head’s up that this entry might be a tad long so it’s not a quick read but feel free to keep reading anyway.  Yesterday was my last day of work so at lunchtime my boss bought me some Chinese food for lunch. He also paid for half of the meals for my coworkers and we all sat together to eat and joke around once the food came. My boss had to rush off to a board meeting about an hour after we were done meeting so when he offered me a certificate of appreciation it was a little rushed but he shook my hand and thanked me for everything. My stepdad also handed me a card that everyone at the office wrote little messages on. I was pretty touched and if they had fussed too much more I’m sure I would’ve gotten emotional but i managed to keep calm. I did make sure to thank everyone and they all wished me well. The only negative thing that happened at work was a spat between two of the secretaries that erupted so badly that the deputy director was unable to mediate a solution for them and my boss had to talk to them both via the office phone. They had the door closed so I couldn’t hear what was said but I could hear a bit of the argument since it got a little loud.
        This morning mom and stepdad took me to my last followup with my chest surgeon. The ride there was pretty bumpy and I think mom’s manic depression is getting worse. She had no problem sharing with me how much she’s been crying over the fact that I’m leaving and that she’s going to the doctor to get her medicine adjusted at the same time as telling me not to feel upset or guilty, that she just wants to let me know. The rest of the way there she pretty much talked the whole time and at one point was imitating tire screeching noises when my stepdad made sharp turns and had started slapping her knees until he took her hand and told her to stop. She was falling apart the last time I went to Japan but I think this time she’s letting it get to her a little too much. I guess in her current state of health she doesn’t have the mental power to fight it. She even missed her hair appointment thinking it was next week (she also thought my appointment was next week until yesterday) so I’m not going to lie when I say I’m a bit concerned but really there’s nothing I can do about it.
   My appointment went well, my surgeon was so happy to see that a lot of my scar is barely visible and was making a big fuss over me. She wanted to get rid of an area that’s swelled but since she said it might go away on it’s own and I’m going to Japan in two weeks and wouldn’t be able to come in if the shot she gives me affects me badly I decided to decline her offer to give me one today. She agreed that that was the best course of action and said I can come in once I’m back from Japan if it’s bothering me by then. We went to lunch after my doctor’s appointment and then my parents took me home. When I first got home I took a shower and then played Sims 4 for a little bit. Heath finally achieved his aspiration by maxing out his logic skill and it’s about time considering my game alerted me to the fact that his time is almost up. I got Jewel up to her toddlerhood and my prediction turned out to be correct, she has black hair so I guess Ian is the last in his family to have red hair unless I manage to get to the next generation before I go and it appears again but I highly doubt both of those things. Anyway, things got a little crazy with Jewel as a toddler because she’s a fussy one and for whatever reason the sims don’t always listen to my commands so when I try to get them to take care of her they get distracted or rather just feed themselves while the game alerts me that Jewel is starving and threatens to take her away. It’s a lot of hard work for me and I think part of the reason it’s so tough is that there are 5 family members and they tend to get in each other’s way a lot of times. Whitney has been lending a hand with Jewel when Heath and Clara get too stressed. I ended with only four days left till Jewel becomes a toddler so hopefully the struggle will end soon. I still don’t know who brought toddlers back to Sims 4, I don’t care if it’s unnatural I didn’t miss toddlers at all.
   Anyway, I finally got back to Dragon Ball Z and watched episodes 51 and 52. I think they got too rushed with drawing Vegeta in these episodes and I was so sad because I praised them for how he looked in 50 (other than his nose, as I mentioned earlier). Oh well, anyway I found out the Namekian kid with them is named Dende but I had a feeling it was him, I think I saw him before in a fancomic. It was good to see Kaio again in episode 52 and Piccolo’s unintentional pun was the best part of the episode in all honesty. I’ll even forgive the part that there’s inconsistency with the dialogue between episode 51′s end and episode 52. They literally end up having the same conversation with Goku twice, and not in the recap, so I guess someone forgot that Yamcha already spoke to Goku at the end of episode 51 and unintentionally redid the conversation...I...pick your favorite version of it I guess? It actually is part of the watching experience for me so it’s all good.
     I watched episode 8 of Kakegurui and it was pretty enjoyable. This episode managed to be less sexually provocative at least and it seemed to be making a commentary on popular JPOP idols and Youtube at the same time so I actually appreciate that quite a bit. I haven’t seen an Anime mention Youtube yet (don’t worry it was “Yourtube”) so it was fun for me. I guess at this point I’m going to briefly check into Glenn’s RP blog and then I have to log out to cook some dinner. We got Chicken Katsu in our meals this week but since Poppy’s not here I have to make it alone. I might play more Sims 4 tonight but I’m not entirely sure yet. At some point I need to look at my new external drive and figure out what I have to put on it from my PC but I don’t think I feel up to that tonight. I also one day...might get back to writing some of my stories but IDK when...eventually I guess. I’ll try to at least write something related to them at some point and now that I have my files back I can recover what I thought would be lost of my notes.
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