#Wanted to offer some advice for people

[infriga]

To add to the discussion about plagiarization and misinformation, one thing I know that can contribute to complacency is how much time and effort it can take to fact check everything you watch. That's daunting for most people, let alone people who don't have as much experience with it or who deal with disabilities and executive dysfunction.

But there are some things you can do to minimize damages that are easier to manage on a more individual basis.

You don't have to necessarily fact check every single thing every creator says in every video in order to make sure they're 100% legit every time. I know not everyone has the mental bandwidth to do that sort of thing constantly. Generally it's okay to just practice some mindfulness and not blindly trust someone if you haven't vetted their claims personally.

What you can do is fact check yourself. Don't repeat stuff you hear from a video as if it is a fact unless you have looked into it yourself first to confirm that what the video said about it is true and that their sources are good. And if you source someone make sure you've vetted them specifically and checked their own sources on that particular topic or bit of information (and check that they even HAVE sources to begin with and aren't just copying their sources verbatim). You can't source every video essay you ever watch or check every single one for plagiarism, but you can source yourself and what you say, and make sure you're not spreading bullshit or citing the wrong person. If you find that you don't have the energy to do even that much in a given moment, then just keep the information in question to yourself for the time being until you do have the energy to verify it.

And some stuff that's generally just good practice: if it's a topic that you're particularly interested in, it's a good idea to seek out more than one video about it from more than one creator. The more diverse your sources of info on the topic the better, especially if you seek out more than just the popular stuff. Get a broader picture of it from a wide variety of people from a wide variety of demographics. It's a lot easier to spot stuff like plagiarism if you're looking at more than just one or two channels, and even if you don't spot it, because they're often good at hiding it, you at least can make sure that you're giving more obscure creators the same attention as well instead of only defaulting to the most popular wide-spread creators and content.

Seeking out more than one type of medium is usually a good idea as well. I know reading stuff like written papers or essays or books on a topic can be difficult for some people, but if you can manage it even just occasionally then branching out every once in a while is still worth doing because it gets you out of one particular information sphere and into another, reducing the chances of an echo chamber effect. If you can't bring yourself to do that much homework on a topic, then again remember to keep in mind that your knowledge about it is limited and could be wrong, and don't spread that info without doing your own research first. Videos are not inherently a bad way to learn about stuff, papers or books can be wrong, and plagiarized, and badly sourced, and can spread misinformation too, my main point is that it's good to avoid having your information come to you through a single choke point if you can help it.

It can be exhausting trying to hold every online creator accountable on an individual basis, I get that, so I don't expect everyone to extensively peer review every channel they ever watch, but at the end of the day you can at least make sure to try and hold yourself accountable first and foremost.

#hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #james somerton #Plagiarism #Misinformation #Wanted to offer some advice for people #who maybe don't have all the executive functions they need to do a background check on every channel that does video essays #For every video they make #This'll probably be the last major thing I reblog about this topic #Just wanted to add my two cents #Spilt tea #And this goes for any information you get from anywhere not just video essays #Like don't blindly trust and spread info from tumblr posts without verifying it personally either #Or reddit #Or friends or family #Etc #I said this is the last major thing I'll reblog I meant blog about in general lol forgot this was an original post for a second

[townofcrosshollow]

Hey y'all! I know I don't post my art very much, but I am in fact a professionally trained artist, and I've been a serious amateur actively studying since just under a decade ago. I'm curious if anybody would be interested in free art advice/lessons. Here's how it would work:

You send me some examples of art that represents your average work, and optionally let me know what areas you think you need help with. I will do drawovers to demonstrate areas you may be able to improve and give you methods, tips, and excercises to improve those aspects of your art. I can do this either as narrated video (preferred), text writeup with image examples, or live over Discord.

Specific areas I can give the best advice on include fundamentals, character design, anatomy (including stylized anatomy), face drawing, lineart, stylization, colour theory, and skills like selecting references and doing effective studies. Areas I won't be able to give as much advice on include environment art or animal & creature design. I'm looking for younger or newer artists who are excited to improve their work but don't know where to start. If you're as experienced as me, I might not have much advice for you, but we can swap tips ;)

Here are some examples of my work, in various stages of completion:

This is limited, so if I do get several responses I will edit this post and reblog to let you know I'm no longer accepting folks!

If you're interested, you can DM me or send me an email at [email protected] and I will get back to you ASAP! Reblogs greatly appreciated :)

#i've always wanted to teach people art??? so i just want to wade in and do some free advice sessions to see if it's my jam! #and if i do get interest and i do enjoy it... might offer it in the future for a couple bucks. hell yeah #art tutorial #art advice #idk do people look at tags anymore??

[cj-marj]

How to express a cute brotherly relationship between two grown men? :3

#I wanna write a fanfic about Choso and Yuji #because of the kind of life I’m putting Yuji in he’s a little older than his canon age #however I still want to touch on his innocence and naïveté regarding human relationships #especially familial ones #but I fear the people will cringe if I wrote some 20 something year old man crying for his big brother #sooo #what to do #itadori yuji #choso and yuji #choso kamo #jjk fic #JJK #jujutsu kaisen #fan fic #y’all keep liking this post without offering any advice 💀

[13eyond13]

.

#I can't remember exactly where I heard this but I know it was #on a tiktok by someone who had an expertise of some sort like house cleaning or home renovation or sthg #but I actually thought it was an excellent piece of advice for many areas of life and it was #'Remember: if it's making your life easier it's probably making someone else's life harder' #like i think that's just a good thing to keep in mind social skills wise when youre trying to be a good friend or coworker or roomie or wtv #the ones you like being around are the ones who are conscientious about the amount of burden they're being or sharing #or at the very least showing interest in making sure your stress is at a manageable level. especially before dumping on you #idk I started thinking about this because I was defining an energy vampire to myself #I think energy vampires are the people who are always using you as a release valve or are just incredibly self-absorbed. Their problems #are (in their minds) always worse than everyone else's. Essentially it's main character syndrome. and so if it's not a give-and-take #You end up drained/wanting to avoid them. ANYWAYS trying not to be one doesn't mean you always have to feel guilty/petrified of being needy #but just trying to be aware of and to show appreciation for when someone is probably helping you out with stuff #and to offer to do things for them in return if you're capable as well #p

[lupismaris]

My therapists keep telling me to stop othering myself and I'm trying but it's really fuckin hard when I'm being othered

#i get im spending a lot of time with fellow audhd and on the spectrum queers i do and i get that means compassion and empathy #is potentially going to be lacking in some ways because they are learned behaviors that do not come naturally or at all #but for all the effort i put in to getting over the sense of being 'othered' and 'the outsider' some of them do a damn good job #just nerfing the work ive done with a lot of carelessness #if you're doing a group pool of money for a gift and i offer you cash dont single me out!! as the only one!! who doesn't need to pay!! #because its cash not venmo. like regardless of the implications of it its fuckin humiliating to be singled out in a GROUP CHAT #no matter how nice you try to make it if you're ultimately saying you dont want my money #dont cut me off and cut me out at practice because you're insecure and dont want to take advice from someone who isnt a coach #don't cut me out because im one of the only people who likes and exhibits masculinity in a way you dislike. #like. how am i supposed to feel? other than humiliated and exhausted and pissed off when someone else's bullshit #is constantly overrunning everything else and everyone else #tbd im sick and i need to do my tshot and i dont want to go to practice today . this teammate sends off kill bill sirens i stg

[medicinemane]

I think it's actually fairly simple to explain why no one wants to hear how exercise or sleep or staying hydrated might help with stuff like mental health

...I think that even when people are receptive to that, and it would help, that usually there's some kind of block in the way or they'd already be doing it

Could be they don't know how and need someone to teach them, could be there's some obstacle like transit in the way, or it could just be a mental block... but regardless, they might even like to do the thing but currently for one reason or another they can't

When you get met with "yeah, but just do it"... that's likely to create some hostility and unwillingness to listen

That's my thoughts anyway

#and as always; this is why I have a policy of no advice unless I'm offering some concrete assistance in making it happen #like... while sharing minimal details #had someone where I felt they could use some perspectives other than those of the people they were currently around #so I made an introduction for them; got them talking to someone who seems to have helped put them around good people #didn't just say to meet new people; offered to make an introduction; then facilitated it a little #asked the person I was introducing them to if they wouldn't mind dropping a message just so it wouldn't feel like they were being bothered #there's not a lot I can do in this world... but either I can sit with someone's discomfort #or if I think there's something to be done to make it better... I better be ready to help carry some of that burden for a little #I better also be ready to put in some work... cause I sure know how it is to want to do something but just be stuck #not just gonna offer empty dictations about what to do #if I want someone to take action I better be willing to actually offer a hand #that's how I see things anyway

[sapphic-luthor]

i am really on the verge of identifying as a lesbian because i feel like that label really does fit me but what’s confusing me is that there is one fictional tv show character who’s a man who is probably the only man i’ll ever Like but it does really confuse me as to why i feel like i may find him attractive but never any man irl

would just like to generally casually direct you to the lesbian masterdoc just in case you were looking for a bit of a read this lovely friday eve

#i will say i am like attracted to many a man who does not exist #this was part of the reason i was able to affirm the fact that im a lesbian and ignore some of that comphet #is bc i realised i only liked men in theory and not in practice at all #in my early days i’d match men on tinder and flirt w them and run for my life if they tried to meet #i’d make eyes at boys at parties and as soon as they approached me be hugely unwelcoming #like i only liked men who didnt exist or whose traits i could invent myself in my mind #and before i knew i was a lesbian i thought that was me ‘being picky’ #but actually it was me purposely (but not consciously) creating unattainable standards that no man alive could fill #because; reader; as you may have guessed; i did not and do not like men #but it took a while to work that out confidently! a long while #take your time in the meantime like #i always was annoyed by people who were like ‘labels don’t matter!’ bc i fucking wanted one i felt good about #and i got there eventually but all i can offer for advice in the meantime is like #nobody cares tbh. just lie. tell somebody you’re a lesbian then tell the next you’re bi and just fuckin wing it #nobody’s gonna bust your door down for using different labels whenever u feel like it #just . kiss women and have crushes on fictional men and eventually itll work its way into a label you’re comfortable with #answered #anonymous

[spoonsforminutes]

tw: vent, current events

ever since the beginning of the year, i’ve been trying to stay afloat and stay alive. being in survival mode is my all-time normal bc no one thought to make my life easier by helping me eliminate stress. which ofc not bc actually my entire family has been emotionally abusive and neglectful. it’s not in the DSM but i have no doubt my severe depression and anxiety is just complex PTSD. my social anxiety has gotten to such severe threat lives bc i don’t feel like i can trust anyone to not hurt me. and obviously a lot of that comes from my family bullying me and denying me my humanity. i feel intense shame and anger at myself for simply existing bc i grew up believing that i didn’t matter and that if i wanted anything i had to do it myself. it’s exhausting but i’ve been working my ass off to make life better for myself for 15 yrs, and yet i’m still poor, starving, and depressed with no irl social support (at least from older adults).

Poverty does nothing good for anyone, and yet i feel like people are focusing too much on the cultural value of moving out on your own and making life work, but i can’t handle anymore fighting just to breathe in the next breath. unfortunately, i’m stuck in crisis mode. i’ve had two or more mental health emergencies (meaning i contacted emergency help) per month and i’ve either been turned away bc of healthcare bullshit or i’ve been told things i already know: eliminate stress, find social support, get resources for food and housing. I know a lot of people are struggling, but knowing that i had no autonomy in my childhood and NOW being told that i can’t have autonomy until i get myself out of poverty and oh yeah that’s fucking impossible bc of stupid men with too much money, too much power, and too little braincells.

Unpopular opinion but i don’t care if a homeless person or struggling parent steals something necessary that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford. like society is all fake anyway and billionaires certainly don’t give two fucks about workers. it doesn’t even really matter to them that every shoplifter be punished. America is an oligarchy, and i knew that back in middle school economics when we learned that legally, corporations are considered people. THAT was truly the trigger that lead us here, among other things. also along with my own shit, i’m super empathic and emotional so i sometimes will absorb someone’s energy so being around people has actually been worse bc my bad mood gets amplified by bitter, frustrated, and angry people. i hate every single thing about being alive, but since my story hasn’t been told yet, guess i just have to brute force people to care. so many people have assumed i won’t make it bc i’m disabled and doing STEM. buddy. i’m the most stubborn son of a bitch i know. not even pain slows me down.

#wedding speaks #tw vent #my family shoved all the issues on me #so i don’t have a car and my parents don’t like supporting me financially #it just sucks when every therapist looks at me like a kicked puppy #and then all the advice they have feels like bandaids which is definitely triggering #idk guys i just want to exist without people seeing me as a threat #which is hard when you’re a trans poc about to head directly into the medical justice chaos #i wish someone could look at me and say yeah that’s too much for one person #and just offer to take on some of it but idk people are so egocentric #sometimes it hard to convince them that my version of help is valid #idk dude i can’t even be online for very long bc seeing people happy causes phantom pains #ohhh how i wish i could be a stupid white man who’s easily adored #lol being inside my own head is miserable

[not-poignant]

pia I just finished the ice plague how are you so good at writing satisfying endings???????????????

I'm so glad you enjoyed the ending! :D :D

Re: Satisfying endings, I don't really know. But I know for myself, I just think:

As someone who loves fandom and fandom fix-its, I like to write the kind of endings where someone doesn't think at the end 'shit I have to fix this in fanfiction.' I mean I don't mind if people do that, but I mostly want people to feel happy or very very hopeful. I guess I like to write 'fanfiction style' happy endings, which are more transparently happy, and more.../thinks/ I guess overt? There's been some exceptions which I'd say are more hopeful (like Stuck on the Puzzle), but I think I still write more obviously happy endings than many actually published fantasy stories etc. of similar length.

I write long happy endings. It's either a few increasingly happy chapters in a row (Into Shadows We Fall, Falling Falling Stars) or one really long chapter (The Ice Plague). No skimping on the happiness! I strongly feel that if I put people through that much pain and angst and whump, why should I skimp on the fluff and cheese and happiness? So I really try not to do that.

I try and leave the characters in psychologically healthier places than where we found them, which I think (ideally) gives most readers the sense that even when problems come up in the future, characters will be able to solve what's happening far more healthily than they did in the past. Which I think feels more satisfying than if a couple is arguing right up to the last chapter and we have no real belief that they can healthily get through any situation at all. Romance stories that do this feel really weird to me. I've read romances where like, a couple is toxic, toxic, toxic and then in the last chapter they get married and I'm like oh no babes, you're getting a divorce in five seconds dsalkfjsa - so even though my characters often still have Stuff (TM) to deal with, ideally, readers feel like these characters have got more support, and learned more communication tools to deal with their issues. :)

And I think that's how I manage it!

I love the word satisfying, that's really what I'm going for. And it makes me so so happy that this came across in The Ice Plague, especially because chapter 39 is absolutely horrendous in what it does to all of the characters. I think that's the biggest risk I've ever taken right at the end of a story - to put some of the worst things in right at the end. Normally I have a slower wind-down, because I'd prefer an anticlimatic denouement that feels gentle and satisfying, than something like huge and bombastic where you doubt everyone's doing okay after that trauma lol.

But I think it worked with The Ice Plague because I could skip so much time in the epilogue and because I could make that such a long chapter that people could really settle into it like they might a novella.

Tbh it goes against some of the writing techniques I was taught in university to write this way. To like, never give readers exactly what they want (and I definitely can't give everyone what they want), and to kind of...always be subtle or hint at things or give glimpses into happiness or whatever. This idea that happiness is sparse and angst is huge but not overwrought etc. idk... I don't really vibe with a lot of that kind of literature. Learning that I could write like...'literature' made me realise that personally I prefer enjoying fanfiction and tropes and big emotions, and that I enjoy writing them too.

So while my writing isn't very 'university level' - I like to think it's a bit more emotionally satisfying, even if it doesn't make you think or philosophise as much, lol. <3333

#asks and answers #pia on writing #fae tales verse #fae tales #the ice plague #dodgy advice #i do love some literature #like Anne Marie-MacDonald #and Arundhati Roy #but they're books that never really leave you emotionally satisfied #it's like they set up big bombs inside you and leave you to deal with the carnage that remains #they might offer some bandaids right at the end #but it's never enough to deal with the overall devastation of what you just read #i guess i just never really want people to feel like they have to keep #emotionally working really hard after they've finished the story #i don't need more emotional labour than what anyone gives me throughout the serial #i'm not looking to leave you feeling anguished and confused or uncertain about all of humankind at the end #i'm okay if you just finish the chapter and smile and feel hopeful #or miss the characters and already want to reread or something sdalkfjasd #i don't think there's anything wrong with authors who want more labour from their readers #i am just not that person - because i'm not really that kind of reader either

[alatar-and-pallando]

So, my spouse has been exploring his gender lately; he also just built himself a new laptop. Today he told me that he in an attempt to process some genderfeels through metaphor, he made a post on a trans forum along the lines of: "I'm a lifelong Windows user and I think I'm pretty good at it. I want to find out what Linux has to offer but I'm afraid I wouldn't be any good at it. And how do you choose the right Linux distro, anyway? Do you have to try them all?"

The responses, he said, were a mix of useful advice about feeling out your gender and useful advice about choosing a Linux distro.

I love trans people so much

Edit 4/8, in case you don't see the reblogged additions -- my wife is now going by Eve!

#and i love my nerdy-ass spouse #sticking with he/him pronouns unless/until he says otherwise #also: so glad that my own gender process played out in front of him and that he's now comfortable figuring his out in front of me #trans tag #my posts #linux #trans

[emeryleewho]

I used to work for a trade book reviewer where I got paid to review people's books, and one of the rules of that review company is one that I think is just super useful to media analysis as a whole, and that is, we were told never to critique media for what it didn't do but only for what it did.

So, for instance, I couldn't say "this book didn't give its characters strong agency or goals". I instead had to say, "the characters in this book acted in ways that often felt misaligned with their characterization as if they were being pulled by the plot."

I think this is really important because a lot of "critiques" people give, if subverted to address what the book does instead of what it doesn't do, actually read pretty nonsensical. For instance, "none of the characters were unique" becomes "all of the characters read like other characters that exist in other media", which like... okay? That's not really a critique. It's just how fiction works. Or "none of the characters were likeable" becomes "all of the characters, at some point or another, did things that I found disagreeable or annoying" which is literally how every book works?

It also keeps you from holding a book to a standard it never sought to meet. "The world building in this book simply wasn't complex enough" becomes "The world building in this book was very simple", which, yes, good, that can actually be a good thing. Many books aspire to this. It's not actually a negative critique. Or "The stakes weren't very high and the climax didn't really offer any major plot twists or turns" becomes "The stakes were low and and the ending was quite predictable", which, if this is a cute romcom is exactly what I'm looking for.

Not to mention, I think this really helps to deconstruct a lot of the biases we carry into fiction. Characters not having strong agency isn't inherently bad. Characters who react to their surroundings can make a good story, so saying "the characters didn't have enough agency" is kind of weak, but when you flip it to say "the characters acted misaligned from their characterization" we can now see that the *real* problem here isn't that they lacked agency but that this lack of agency is inconsistent with the type of character that they are. a character this strong-willed *should* have more agency even if a weak-willed character might not.

So it's just a really simple way of framing the way I critique books that I think has really helped to show the difference between "this book is bad" and "this book didn't meet my personal preferences", but also, as someone talking about books, I think it helps give other people a clearer idea of what the book actually looks like so they can decide for themselves if it's worth their time.

Update: This is literally just a thought exercise to help you be more intentional with how you critique media. I'm not enforcing this as some divine rule that must be followed any time you have an opinion on fiction, and I'm definitely not saying that you have to structure every single sentence in a review to contain zero negative phrases. I'm just saying that I repurposed a rule we had at that specific reviewer to be a helpful tool to check myself when writing critiques now. If you don't want to use the tool, literally no one (especially not me) can or wants to force you to use it. As with all advice, it is a totally reasonable and normal thing to not have use for every piece of it that exists from random strangers on the internet. Use it to whatever extent it helps you or not at all.

#writing #writing advice #writing tips #am writing #books #booklr #fiction #media analysis

[xcziel]

oooops i forgot

tuesday new releases for november 14:

patrick rothfuss novella the narrow road between desires (same size as slow regard of silent things)

david baldacci has new thriller the edge

mitch albom novel about the lives of three holocaust survivors little liar

new novel from michael cunningham day

a return to the time-travel cafe: before we say goodbye by toshikazu kawaguchi author of before the coffee gets cold, english translation by geoffrey trousselot

elizabeth crook's western sequel to the which way tree, the madstone

harmony new book of poetry from whitney hanson

jacquelyn mitchard's new familial drama a very inconvenient scandal

.just once new christian fiction by karen kingsbury

letters of j.r.r. tolkien edited and selected by humphrey carpenter with assistance by christopher tolkien

rush drummer geddy lee's new memoir my effin' life

johnny cash: the life in lyrics with mark stielper

the night parade: a speculative memoir by jami nakamura lin

a woman i know: female spies, double identities, and a new story of the kennedy assasination by filmmaker mary haverstick

city on mars by kelly and zach weinersmith (good non-fiction gift for those who like the martian and laughing at elon mushk)

tomlin: the soul of a football coach by john harris

entangled life: illustrated edition by martin sheldrake - new gorgeous hardcover for the mushroom and fungi fans

core of an onion another micro-history - with recipes - from michael kurlansky, author of cod and salt

new leather gifting style black cover of 48 laws of power: special powers edition

the bill gates problem the myth of the good billionaire by tim schwab

the money kings by daniel schulman

new hardcover collector editions of madeline miller's circe and anthony doerr's all the light we cannot see

also new romance collector hardcovers of archer's voice by mia sheridan and one last stop by casey mcquiston

star wars the eye of darkness a high republic novel by george mann

the marvel multiverse role-playing game core rulebook is out now

the upcycled self by tariq 'black thought' trotter

political books 😔:

network of lies about fox news by brian stelter

biography mitt romney a reckoning by mckay coppins

mike pence's advice(?) book go home for dinner

tired of winning by jonathan karl about trump and the gop

#tuesday new releases #juggling dr appointments is getting to me - there's a reason i tell them i don't want to schedule anything during 'holiday' #it's been rainy and cool here and thus work has been bonkers bc people have nothing better to do #than shopping and hanging out with a warm beverage - plus the kids will be entertained #i swear ecery time tge weather gets 'wintery' our business goes up bc people like feeling as though they're in a movie #and bustling around wearing sweaters and jackets while carrying armfuls of shopping and packages just 'feels right' #or something #but we were not staffed to be busy like december at the current time and i am so tired (and sore) #lots of literary bio/memoirs this year for some reason mcmurtry bradbury orwell now tolkien #i wonder if i could offer gifting advice just based on new stuff? #like i cannot tell you what's a 'good' book bc tastes vary so much but if you want suggestions based on someone's interests #i'd be happy to look out for new books they won't have already read #hardcovers seem to realky be getting a push this year - idk if it's to make up for printing costs going up #or if this is just the first real wave of 'back to business post-pandemic' - publishing moves sloowly most of the time y'all #i will say that if you like fungi or birds or stuff about space or unique memoirs this is a banner year #i'm recommending the hidden language of cats to everyone who has the slightest interest lol #but like if you want military memoirs they're thinner on the ground for example #anyway feel free to ask me about new stuff - i am the last person to tell you if this vs that historical romance is better #but i'm okay at pointing out new arrivals you might never have noticed on your own

[abyssalpriest]

actually honestly King Madness over here you shouldnt listen to any fucking inspired suggestion for journeying i give you because its not gonna be fuckin safe

#im not. for. beginners and people who want to try out new things so me offering new things and beginnings to get involved w #lev are going to be redundant for the intended audience and dangerous for those who need advice. i mean. im over exaggerating #but i have tripped on that game and IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SAFE IF I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING LMFAO #BUT IF YOUVE NEVER FALLEN INTO THIS GAME YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING SO ITS NOT SAFE #ramblings // #anyway lev wanted some time in my body ill be back

[neverendingford]

,

#tag talk #I'm so tired of being the person who has the measured takes. I'm so tired of being the advice dispenser #I'm so tired of being the one to say “well they might have misunderstood and that's why they responded that way” #AND I'M SO TIRED OF BEING RIGHT ABOUT IT #It would be one thing if I were just stupidly optimistic and wrong. but I keep being right. people do usually improve if you invest in them #and I'm tired of the answer always being “work harder”. I know that “I can fix him” is a meme but what if I keep successfully fixing people? #what if my success translates into an obligation to continue trying? what if my being right means I have to keep speaking truth out loud #what if my empathy for others means I have to keep listening to their problems. #I want to feel wanted but I'm so tired of being wanted. I want to be drawn to people but I'm tired of my bones being pulled apart #do I just need to spend time with people smarter than me? I'm tired of being the smartest in the room. #I'm not being arrogant. I'm fucking lonely. do you know what it's like to have no one to call you on your mistakes? #I don't want to do the know it all thing where I assume I'm right and have no one to call me on it. #so tired of people being afraid to tell me I'm probably wrong simply because I'm right so often #I want to be around people who don't treat me like some sort of novelty chat bot. able to generate the wildest dialogue at a moment's notice #i need to look for community once I get settled in here. #but I'm afraid It'll just turn into the same dynamic as it always does #I enjoyed my community group on Tuesday but I never got anything out of it besides generic social. I corrected. I taught. I lectured #I'm tired of feeling like I know everything already. I want something new. something unique #multiplayer games have more longevity because humans offer variation and creativity. . sometimes #what do you do when they stop giving you that variation. that novelty. that unique flavor #what do you do when everything starts tasting the same #I think it's just the moving stress getting to me. plus I have to confront someone about being an asshole to me and I don't wanna #because I know why they were rude. they're stressed out of their mind about stuff too. I get it. but now I feel shitty #you can't offload your stress to someone else. you can't allow it to flow through you and strike someone else. I can't allow that #but ughhhh I'm also tired as fuck. that's part of it too. #bye I'm gonna go brush my teeth comb my hair and go to bed I guess

[medicinemane]

I don't know, I just think it's very important to keep the idea that you can do bad things and that you can have harmful and hateful beliefs in mind

What this isn't, is some kind of call to endlessly analyze your every action to see if you're bad

What it is, is wanting to suggest you don't fall into the trap of thinking that because you're a caring compassionate person, that you could never get lead down harmful ways of thinking. That you realize that we can all be fooled, that it's possible to be cruel and destructive while having good intentions

I'm just once again suggesting that from time to time you take a really good hard look at your moral compass and make sure it's calibrated how you want it to be

#the sad part is that I think the worst thing I could do is offer advice on how to calibrate it #cause I think that very much... while I may have some reasonable ideas on that; there's a very good chance people aren't gonna listen #like sometimes just needing to hear something is exactly what makes you shut out being able to hear it at all #so I'm not going to tell anyone what to do cause no one's gonna listen even if I do; even if I explicitly laid everything out #nah; you gotta find that stuff on your own #all I'm saying is check in from time to time and make sure you're the person you want to be #also don't think that I'm just being sappy here or something #cause I'm not someone who thinks you have to forgive everyone; I think it's best not to let stuff eat at you #but like there's people from my past where... basically it's a good day when I forget them; which is like 360 days a year #and when I do remember them it's like a 'wow; what a fucking fool they were' #but I 100% do not forgive them; they're frankly a terrible person and while I'd hope they're better now I doubt it #but like... they're also not my problem and they're so pathetic that it's a waste of my time to dwell on them #all I'm saying once again is just... make sure you're who you want to be; and make sure your actions are doing what you want them to

[calamitydaze]

your commitment to your truth is extremely admirable and i hope you never underestimate how much strength it had to take on your end. i'm technically in my friend's (passionate) dnis after changing my mind about things and i'm still terrified of having an honest discussion with them because of how vicious wider mcytblr is.

anonymously tell me what you think about me

#bella answers #anon #ask game #THANK YOU :(((( that’s incredibly touching of you to say #i try not to talk about it much cause it’s over and i don’t wanna seem attention seeking but nov/dec was one of the worst times in my life #but i can say that looking back on it i’m proud of how i acted and i wouldn’t change it #and if i can offer some advice: decide what will make you feel better in the long run #being honest about what you think and risking your friendship or keeping things the way they are and hiding a bomb #either one is fine! though just from personal experience the one thing i wanted was for people to be honest about where i stood with them #even if their answer was bad #🫂 much love