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12timetraveler · 1 year

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Beware the Jabberwocky

Summary:

Arthur and Hosea go on a boys trip. But when Arthur picks the wrong mushrooms, they take a trip of a different kind

CW: Mushrooms, recreational drug use

Word count: 3936

Notes:

For my dear friend @hoematthews on his birthday. Based on a late-night conversation we had with some other friends. I hope you enjoy!

AO3

~~~~~~~~

"So what are we hunting exactly?" Arthur asked, realizing he really had no idea what they were doing out here.

Hosea had asked if Arthur wanted to go hunting, and after weeks of doing job after job after job, constantly working, he was ready for something different. Any sort of change of pace.

"Moose, didn't I say?" Hosea chuckled, looking over his shoulder at Arthur.

"Oh. So we're just pretending we're going hunting," Arthur chuckled. He and Hosea had gone after moose many times over the years, but never caught one. Arthur had only even seen a moose a handful of times in his life, and never when he was looking for one.

"Nonsense," Hosea huffed. "I've been watching this area for a while. It's a little lake, remote in the mountains. All the wildlife around drink from it. Including a number of moose. We'll catch one this time, you'll see."

"Whatever you say," Arthur huffed. He wouldn't horribly mind if they just wasted time. Hosea was probably his favorite person to waste time with. He always ended up with a story to tell, and came back to camp feeling refreshed. Just getting out of camp with the man, spending a few days watching the lake for the elusive megafauna, that was just fine with him.

~~~~~~

They reached the lake just before nightfall. No time for hunting that night, but just enough time for Hosea to catch a couple fish while Arthur set up camp. Since they'd be there a couple days, Arthur used the canvas of his travel tent to make a sort of lean-to between the trees in case it rained. But he set up their bedrolls around the fire.

He knew his old friend would want to lay out under the stars, weather permitting, and enjoy the view. He'd likely tell Arthur the same stories he always did, legends and myths that made up the constellations. Arthur didn't mind. It was nice to hear Hosea talk about simple things.

It reminded him of the old days when he'd wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares and go sit by the fire only for Hosea to join him and talk his ear off until the sun rose. Back when it was just the three of them, and he was nothing but a gangly little street urchin.

So much had changed, and yet he always found comfort in Hosea's voice. Most of the time nowadays Hosea was busy helping the others in the gang. He was good at talking folks through their troubles. But that meant he didn't have as much time for Arthur as he used to. Arthur didn't get many chances to just sit with him and listen to him talk anymore.

"A feast befitting kings," Hosea crowed, drawing Arthur out of his musing. He approached the makeshift camp holding a pair of sockeye, which he'd already bludgeoned and gutted.

"Nice catch," Arthur hummed, looking up at Hosea from where he sat by the fire. "Here. I can filet 'em,"

"You'll do no such thing," Hosea huffed, swinging the fish away from Arthur's reach before sitting down by the fire. "You'll lose us all the meat the way you butcher fish. I'll do it,"

"Whatever you say," Arthur sighed, but there was no malice behind his voice, only familiar affection.

Hosea was right, it was quite the feast. The fish were so savory and tender, even with the crude ways the men had of seasoning and cooking. When Arthur lay down on his bedroll he felt pleasantly full and sleepy.

Across the fire Hosea was also settling down on his bedroll, grunting and groaning dramatically as he settled in on his back, hands resting on his chest. It was quiet for a moment, just the crackle of the campfire and the sounds of night.

"Do you see those three stars lined up," Hosea started, pointing up at the sky. Arthur couldn't help but smile as his earlier prediction had been right. "That's Orion's belt,"

"Is it?" Arthur hummed tiredly. He knew all the constellations Hosea knew. He'd been shown them time and time again. He didn't even have to look for it, he knew right where it would be.

"Yep," Hosea chirped. "Goes right across the constellation. You can see Orion himself, just around it,"

"So I can," Arthur murmured, his eyes closing.

"And right there, do you see the big dipper? It's crystal clear tonight," Hosea murmured.

"Oh yeah," Arthur mumbled.

"You know, escaped slaves used to call it The Drinking Gourd. They used it to guide them north to freedom,"

"Well I'll... Be," Arthur sighed, barely even awake.

"The big dipper is also part of Ursa Major, the great bear..."

Hosea kept talking long after Arthur was snoring. He knew how Arthur liked to hear him ramble.

~~~~~~~

The next morning the hunt began. After a breakfast of bread and some pheasant eggs, they set out from camp along the lakeshore.

The lake was truly stunning. The surface was smooth and sparkling in the morning sun, disturbed only by ripples of fish catching a morning meal of mosquitoes. The image of the trees and mountains reflected off the surface of the lake like a giant mirror.

It didn't take Hosea long to find some large moose tracks. Unfortunately they headed directly into the water, so they couldn't be followed more than a couple yards. There was no sign of the moose on the other side of the lake.

Hosea led Arthur up a slope overlooking the water, and the two sat there for a while watching the wildlife visit the lake, hoping their large friend would stop by. Plenty of other animals came to the lake. Elk and deer, foxes and rabbits, even a pack of wolves drank across the way, but after hours of sitting and watching no moose came to drink.

Some time after noon Hosea sent Arthur down to the lakeshore with some potent herbivore bait, hoping to lure the moose down. It certainly drew in a number of ungulates, but never a moose.

Finally around mid afternoon they decided to circle the lake and look for tracks that might lead them to their quarry. But the only tracks they found were old, or too small for a moose.

Along the way Arthur gathered some plants on the shore. Mint and burdock root and some mushrooms that looked like parasol mushrooms. Arthur was always a little hesitant with mushrooms because he really didn't know what the dangerous ones looked like. But these looked enough like parasols that he was confident in picking them.

By the time they were almost back to their temporary camp, the sun was starting to dip low in the sky. Arthur had a bag full of plants and mushrooms, but no moose.

"Well, seems our friends have eluded us today," Arthur huffed, stretching his shoulders.

"For now," Hosea sighed. "I'll see if I can catch us a rabbit to eat,"

"Alright. I'll get the fire going again," Arthur said, clapping Hosea on the shoulder. He could tell the old man was a little disappointed, but not completely disheartened. Mostly he was just tired after circling the lake. Arthur knew letting him hunt dinner would boost his spirits some.

Arthur had the fire going strong by the time Hosea returned to camp with a rabbit, already skinned and gutted.

"Good catch," Arthur hummed. It had been a big rabbit, he could tell.

"Not bad," Hosea shrugged, passing the rabbit carcass to Arthur. "Any of those plants you picked today good with rabbit?"

"Mmm maybe," Arthur hummed, opening up his satchel. He looked through the bundles of herbs in his bag. "Could stuff the rabbit with some mushrooms and wild carrot to cook. And a couple spices," Arthur pulled out the plants.

"A rare feast," Hosea chuckled, sitting down and pulling out his knife. Arthur handed him the carrots and Hosea chopped them roughly with his knife while Arthur halved the mushrooms and stuffed them and the carrots into the rabbit before sticking it over the fire to roast. As rustic and thrown together as it was, it was fancier than the usual plate of stew.

Soon a nice aroma filled the air as the rabbit meat cooked at the carrots and mushrooms began roasting in what little fat the rabbit had.

Both Hosea and Arthur were feeling a little funny, but both assumed it was likely just from being out in the sun. Neither had made the connection between the funny feeling and when they started handling and cooking the mushrooms.

The fire cooked the rabbit quickly, and soon enough their supper was ready. Arthur carved the rabbit and dished some out onto Hosea's mess-kit plate before dishing some out onto his own.

After a long day of hunting, the men were ravenous, neither worrying much about talking or table manners. Before long they'd scarfed down the rabbit along with the mushrooms and carrots, and licked those plates clean.

"What kind of mushrooms were those, Arthur?" Hosea asked as he licked up the last crumb.

"Just parasol mushrooms," Arthur shrugged.

"Really? Didn't taste much like parasol mushrooms," Hosea hummed. "Must have been something to do with cooking them inside the rabbit,"

Hosea set his plate aside before flopping down on his bedroll with a contented sigh. Arthur followed suit, rolling into his back to look at the stars.

Arthur was starting to feel really funny, almost like he was drunk. But not quite the same. Not any kind of drunkenness he'd ever felt before. He felt floaty and spinny, like he was drifting through a dream, but he was sure he was awake.

The stars above him began to twinkle brighter, and the colors seemed to shift in a beautiful rainbow of colors. The stars rippled like scales on a fish across the sky. It was all Arthur could do to stare open mouthed at the light show above him.

"H-hosea?" Arthur mumbled dumbly. Hosea hummed in response. "The stars look different to you?"

Hosea had been drifting off to sleep, feeling thoroughly relaxed after dinner. He opened his eyes and frowned upat the sky. When had the sun risen? And why was the sky such a strange purple color? But... No, there were stars, and the moon out. But the world was much brighter than it had been a moment before.

"Now that you mention it..." Hosea grumbled, rolling into his side. The world seemed to zoom in and out as he did, before settling into something akin to focus. "W...woah. Arthur you... You've grown!"

Indeed the man laying across the firepit seemed to have grown at least three feet in length.

"I have?" Arthur grumbled, holding up his hands, looking for any sign of growth. Arthur pushed himself up onto his elbows, looking over at Hosea. His eyes widened comically as he took in the sigh of his friend.

"Y... You're a moose!" Arthur gasped.

Indeed before him, instead of his oldest friend, a man who was more father to him than his own blood, an anthropomorphic moose sat on Hosea's bedroll. He had sprouted ears and magnificent antlers. His nose had grown long and looked remarkably squishable. His body had sprouted fur and though he moved like a man, pushing himself to his hind legs and using his front legs as hands, he now had hooves.

"Am I?" Hosea asked, looking down at his hands. And as if by magic, Arthur was right. No longer did he have fingers and hands. Instead he saw two large cloven hooves. He looked back at Arthur, who only seemed to be growing bigger, but was somehow still looking up at him with comically wide eyes.

"What... Are we dreaming?" Arthur mumbled.

"I don't think so..." Hosea hummed, still staring at his hands. "But..." He couldn't help but giggle. "But I'm not sure what else could be happening,"

"Maybe a bear got us," Arthur huffed, starting to panic a little. "Maybe we got mauled to death. Is this heaven?"

"I doubt it," Hosea chuckled, walking over to his giant friend. He practically had to break his neck to look up at Arthur as the man stood up. Hosea settled one cloven hoof on Arthur's giant arm. "Don't worry so much, huh. What's that thing Javier says sometimes? Que sera? Just relax,"

Hosea had a sneaking suspicion of what was happening. He'd tried his fair share of substances. They were very popular among theater troops. He'd never had an experience quite like this, but he was sure it was something in that realm. But telling Arthur would only make him anxious, and he knew during experiences like this, anxiety and fear were not your friends.

The sound of a flock of ducks coming to land on the shore near the lake caught both of their attention. Moose and giant both turned to look at the water.

Hosea gasped as he saw the lake before them, sparkling under the purple sky. The water was a rippling rainbow of colors. Shades and hues Hosea had never seen before. Colors no human had ever witnessed, he was sure.

Arthur was focused on the ducks along the shore, frowning as they laughed at him. They teased him for being so strange, for his hair cut and the scruff of his beard. They mocked the way he could only walk, and couldn't fly like him. None of their words really upset him, or cut him deep. But had they been some barfly he'd likely have smashed their faces in. But fighting ducks just seemed unfair. They were too small. Especially with his new size.

"Come on Arthur, let's get a close look!" Hosea cheered, inexplicably grabbing Arthur's arm with his large hoof and dragging Arthur behind him toward the lake.

"At the ducks?" Arthur grumbled. He wasn't sure he wanted to get even closer to the mean old ducks.

"No at the lake! Look at it!" Hosea gasped, coming to a stop right at the shore.

Arthur blinked, not quite sure what Hosea saw in the water that had him so excited. But as he studied the waves he began to see it. Or at least he saw what he assumed Hosea was also seeing.

To Arthur the water seemed to be made of flower petals. Reds and yellows and whites and oranges all rippled in waves across the water, lapping at the shore in front of him. Arthur bent down and scooped some of the petals up in his hands. They seemed to trickle out between his fingers like water, something between a liquid and a solid.

"Remarkable," Arthur murmured, watching the petals ebb and flow before him.

"Let's go swimming,"

Arthur looked over to see moose Hosea shedding his clothes until he was just down to his drawers.

Hosea tossed his clothes on the shore, ready to leap into the lake of colors before him. He whooped as his feet splashed into the rainbow water. It was crisp, like mountain lake water should be, but something about the cold water seemed to warm him, like the rainbow of colors was filling him with light.

Once he was deep enough, Hosea dove into the water, letting the strands of color and light woosh over him. He was pleasantly surprised to find that even if he swirled the water, the colors never muddied. They just swirled together before pulling back into separate streams.

Hosea surfaced, gasping for air. "Come on in, dear giant boy," he called to Arthur at the shore. "The colors are incredible,"

Arthur shucked his clothes quickly, getting down to his drawers as well. He'd always loved the feeling of flower petals against his fingers. He couldn't wait to see what they felt like as he swam through them.

The water was cold, and the moment he was up to his hips Arthur felt his balls draw up inside him. But against gritted teeth he kept moving through the water. The petals swirled around him moving aside for him but hugging to his body as well.

"Isn't it incredible?" Hosea asked, laying on his back in the water and floating around him.

"It is. I've always wanted to swim among them," Arthur mumbled, still wondering at the petals around him.

"Me too," Hosea admitted, thinking of all the rainbows he'd seen in his life.

The two men spent some time just swimming around, lost in their own hallucinations. Time meant nothing to either of them. It may have been a half an hour, it could have been a week. In fact it seemed to be both combined.

"Ahh. Just listen to the musical sounds of nature," Hosea sighed.

Arthur paused, listening for what Hosea might be hearing. Slowly the ducks, the fireflies, the crickets and frogs and bats, all the creatures around the lake began singing a familiar tune.

<I>The ring dang do

Now what is that?

It's soft and round like a pussy cat

Got a hole in the middle and it's split in two

That's what they call the ring dang do</I>

"I didn't know they knew that song," Arthur mused.

"Of course they do, Arthur," Hosea chuckled loudly, slapping Arthur's bare back. "They wrote this song,"

Hosea of course was referring to the loud symphony of quacks and ribbits and chirps that seemed to drown out all other sounds. It was growing so loud in fact he couldn't even hear Arthur humming along to Ring Dang Do.

"We should go back to camp," Arthur said after a moment. The water was cold, and he wasn't entirely certain but he thought it may have snapped his balls off. He no longer could feel them between his legs.

"What?" Hosea called, as if talking over a great cacophony of sounds.

"Camp," Arthur yelled back, grabbing Hosea's hoof-hand and tugging him back to shore.

Arthur didn't bother trying to find their clothes. He was pretty sure he saw his shirt fly off with a couple of ducks when Hosea started yelling.

Back at camp, the two settled onto their bedrolls once more. Arthur not so subtly pulled at the hem of his drawers, checking to see if his balls had indeed frozen and fallen off. He breathed a sigh of relief when they still seemed to be there, though he swore for a second his scrotum blinked up at him, but he didn't want to think about that too hard.

"Is the sun rising or setting?" Hosea asked.

"Erm... I think it set a while ago," Arthur mumbled, not really trusting himself.

There was a big ball of light in the sky but he wasn't sure if it was the sun or the moon. Or maybe it was gods eye staring down at his miscreant children.

"The stars are still out so it must still be dark," Hosea mused. He easily located Orion's belt in the sky.

But... Wait, had Orion always worn a gun belt? Since when was Orion a gunslinger? Oh shit he was drawing his weapon.

Hosea quickly reached for his rifle next to his bedroll, aiming up at the sky. At the same moment Orion pulled his gun, and the two gunslingers fired.

Hosea wasn't sure where Orion's bullet landed. His own shot seemed to go just over Orion's shoulder. Like gentlemen they'd both shot over each other, neither wanting to take the other's life.

"A draw," Hosea called out, setting his rifle aside.

"Nice shot," Arthur hummed, looking at the new home in the sky that Hosea's bullet had ripped through. He obviously had not seen Orion draw his gun on Hosea, else he likely would have tried to tackle the constellation out of the sky.

"Thank you," Hosea said proudly, laying back on his elbows.

He sighed, staring up at the stars once more.

The two men lay there for a time, lost in their own hallucinations. Eventually they both drifted off to sleep, just before sunrise.

~~~~~~~

When Arthur woke up, the sun was high in the sky. Actually it seemed like it was already on its downward journey, on the western half of the sky. They'd slept through most of the day already.

Arthur took a moment to take stock. He was still in nothing but his drawers, and it was only the shade of the trees they were camped under that had saved him from a terrible sunburn, laying out in the sun all day.

Arthur looked over the smoking coals of their dead campfire. Hosea was curled up around his bedroll like a cat, knees tucked up under his chin. That could not be comfortable, especially on older joints. Carefully, not quite trusting his balance after the night he'd had, Arthur pushed himself to his knees and crawled over to Hosea.

Carefully Arthur guided Hosea to lay on his stomach instead, easing his muscles out. Hosea grumbled and groaned, stirring but not quite waking up. He weakly tried to swat Arthur away.

"Come on, let me sleep," he grumbled.

"Fine, but if you keep sleeping like that your back is gonna seize up," Arthur chuckled.

Slowly Hosea seemed to wake up, rolling into his back and blinking up at the bright sky.

"You know, Arthur," Hosea grunted as he pulled himself to his feet. "I don't think those were parasol mushrooms,"

"Really?" Arthur huffed, rolling his eyes. "What gave you that idea?"

"But you know what?" Hosea sighed, clapping Arthur on the shoulder. "I ain't felt that good in... I don't know how long," he chuckled.

"Yeah, I suppose," Arthur huffed a laugh. He had to admit, he hadn't slept so well in quite some time. True now he had a bit of a hangover. The sun was quite bright and he still felt sleepy. But he also felt relaxed and calm.

"Why don't we take a walk back around the lake to were you found those mushrooms. Take a closer look," Hosea hummed with a little gleam in his eye. Arthur recognized all to well the signs that Hosea was not-so-subtly trying to coax him into going along with something.

"What, you wanna do that again?" Arthur laughed.

"Why not?"

"Well I think it'll be pretty hard to hunt a moose when the trees are dancin',"

"Ah forget the moose," Hosea scoffed, waving his hand dismissively, smiling at Arthur. "You and I hardly ever get to just relax and have some fun. Let's just take a few days and... Let loose,"

"Whatever you say," Arthur shook his head. But Hosea could tell from his big grin that he was on the same page, just as ready as Hosea to have a good time.

~~~~~~~

"Well," Dutch called as the two rode into camp some days later. "You two sure took your time. Did you catch the moose?"

"No?" Hosea mumbled, uncertain. "No I don't... I don't think so,"

"You don't... Think so?"

"We got a little, er... Distracted," Arthur chuckled sheepishly.

"Distracted by what?" Dutch asked, looking between the two. Suddenly Dutch felt like he was faced with a young John and Arthur having just gotten back from doing something they shouldn't have been. "Don't tell me you two spent the entire trip drunk out of your minds," Dutch sighed.

"Er... Something like that," Hosea sighed.

"I did manage to find some mushrooms. You can have some if you want," Arthur mumbled, holding out a handful of the special mushrooms.

In sync Arthur and Hosea burst out laughing, nearly falling over with glee at Dutch's confused face.

#arthur morgan & hosea matthews #mushrooms #recreational drug use

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chocoenvy · 1 year

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heyo, it’s me pretty anon. (i like it better than bully anon too :))

i think i fucked up

so, i’ll keep this simple since i need to go to bed cause it’s like 4:30am and i get up at 8 lmao.

since the cruise my dad and step-mom decided to physically split as well. my dad is signing for a divorced in the next couple of days. my step-mom is in a completely different state rn with her youngest daughter and mother. my mom mom doesn’t know about the divorced and honestly i think no one’s told her since we don’t wanna hear it.

so um, i haven’t really gotten a chance to talk to anyone about this stuff since i live in a small town and everyone knows everyone yknow? so firstly, thank you for letting me vent. it’s nice to talk to someone the same age anonymously. you give good advice.

anyway, all of this has kinda been building up on me, which is super weird cause i thought i wouldn’t care. i’m a senior in high school rn so it’s not like i can’t go visit her once i graduate. and my dad and step mom are both encouraging me to keep up a relationship with her. she wasn’t really around much and when she was it was only ever good one on one since with my dad it would be borderline abusive. (or maybe actually abusive, i’m not really sure i know how to identify it. it just seems normal to me)

my dad also asked me if i had contacted my step mom like a couple days after she left. i’d been wanting to but i had no idea what to say to her. so i didn’t. he said to me, and i don’t think i’ll ever forget this, “oh. i thought you loved her.” in the most casual tone. my heart is broken. i got really upset with him and he literally could not comprehend why. i’m starting to second guess myself if i loved her or not. i know for a fact that i did, but does she know it?

so yknow the new ios 16 update? weird change of pace i know but i swear it’s important. well i just decided like an hour ago to get it and i fucking hate it. fun fact, if you have spotify on and your phone turns off then they change YOUR LOCKSCREEN to match the spotify song. wtf. well i started off hating it cause i had to scroll through over 2,000 photos just to find the exact same ones i was currently using (it’s venti and xiao btw) and i started hyperventilating.

well i was doing my daydreams when i realized the spotify thing. and i completely stopped. i had a full blown panic attack for at least 45 minutes. i was hyperventilating so hard i honestly thought i was going to passed out. i later down so i at least wouldn’t fall and everything.

i think i panicked because of all the penh up emotions that i have going on rn.

after i finally calmed down, i went over to plug in my chrome book for school. and then i remembered i had an eyebrow razor in my backpack…

i think you know what i meant when i said i fucked up.

it was only four cuts. not deep enough to draw blood except for one, all tiny on my thigh where no one can see them. i can’t believe i did it though. and the worst part, the absolute worst part is, the relief i felt? it’s like i actually have control.

i know you said the ice cube method. i’ve actually told other freinds going through a hard time about it too. but at the moment, i just wasn’t thinking straight.

im scared im gonna do it again. any ideas on what i should do? lol

with love, pretty anon

HELLO PRETTY <33 I'm so sososososo sorry for answering this so late but!

tw: self harm, relapses, sensitive topics

It's completely valid and I cannot fault you for relapsing it is a very normal part of healing. So long as you get back up, everything will be okay I promise.

But! I remembered an app that I had come across some years ago. I forgot the name and when I tried to look it up i found calm harm.

The app I thought of describes self harm as a wave. The want to harm yourself flows in and then out. It comes and goes. The trick is to distract yourself before the feeling takes over your actions. Calm Harm definitely helps with it from what I've seen. I've never tried these apps though. There are also counters that count how long you've gone without cutting if that kind of thing helps.

Would definitely recommend! As well as watching videos or creating a playlist full of videos/songs that make you happy! Find something that makes you happy and hold onto it for when you need it! I can completely understand not being in the right state of mind and forgetting it which is why you should have it on your phone so you can access it before you can access something else. It also helps if you're ever in public - or even in private - and need to calm down.

Gather resources to prepare for these down times. It'll help!

I understand that self harm can feel good, god trust me I know, but it's not worth it. There are other things that can make you feel better than self harm can. And I can't speak for you but after I self harm I just feel so much shame?? And fear?? Mostly because I don't want someone to find them but I just feel ashamed.

I can't explain it and I really don't have much room to talk because I'm still stuck in self harm. But if it means anything, I would be very proud to see you heal from this <3

I'm glad you can talk about this anonymously but if you ever need to talk to me one on one my dms are always open <3

Take care! And I'm sorry for answering so late, I hope you're okay <33

#choco.asks #pretty anon #tw s/h #tw self harm

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flame-shadow · 2 years

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art-related stuff - projects and updates

art fight - i have a few more revenges to complete, and then im checking out. turns out doing a big attack in the middle of the month sapped my art energy and motivation severely. im proud of that big wasp attack, but maybe i should've poked at it at a less ambitious pace. too late to change that, but i'll keep that in mind for next year.

commissions - i need to reevaluate things before i open those up again. in hindsight, i think i priced things oddly last time, and i want to fix that. also, i'm going to limit what i offer and make clearer what happens and what i charge if the character has no ref image.

adoptables - i have some ideas for some fun designs i want to explore which aren't fandom related. and because i find it fun, i'll likely open up hk charm oc adopts again separate from my other designs. i'm going to try to be better and more consistent about pricing my designs, since i've had feedback about undercharging recently.

i got accepted into the bug fables fanzine, so i'm looking forward to starting work on my piece for that! i can't say or share anything else, unfortunately, but given the people contributing, i expect it'll be a very cool and worthwhile project :)

i embroidered something recently and it turned out decently, but it's not something to share. i would like to work on embroidery more, however, so hopefully i will have things to share eventually. i have a few ideas based on drawings or characters, but part of me also just wants to stitch ocean waves or flowers, so we'll see what i end up doing [probably a bit of everything, let's be real]

thanks to the recent bird marker drawings turning out pretty great, i want to ride the momentum and make more art with markers. predictably, i'm thinking about bugs and/or dragons. i'll probably start with bugs~

i have some character concepts that i've either started developing or need to iterate further before im set on them, but i'd like to branch out more, so these will hopefully help with that. would've been nice if i'd started this process before art fight so i could have more to offer during, but oh well, they weren't ready yet and it's not something i want to rush.

#i think that's it for now #if you read all that uhhh here have a cookie #rambling #art for me is about constantly working to get better at things and i enjoy when i perceive my progress #it's been a rough year so far on the 'how i feel about my art and skills' front but i think im getting over it #feeling optimistic about my direction and the avenues i can take

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texeoghea · 1 year

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btw i dont feel like making a whole art vs artist collage or a page showing my art across the year (thats what my monthly tags are for) but like i dont think my art style has necessarily changed very much

Like . comparing the roadtrip image from March with the rough draft of Wolf's design and the AU concept from mid-November, i don't see an actual change in STYLE (technique, linework) so much as simple improvement. I've started coloring almost all of the lines, I've been recently experimenting with actual color palettes to help with balancing and using unique palettes for each character on the page. in the roadtrip image, i experimented with using pre-existing images as assets in my work, which I have done multiple times since, including in the second image's background. I also played with expressing lighting by adding a soft brush in a lighter tone to the otherwise monotonous linework, which i don't do often (because i don't do lighting often), but i think it looks very lovely and works well. but when it comes to raw style I feel like it's almost exactly the same between pieces.

Which isn't a bad thing! I love how my art has looked this year, it's so smooth and elegant, I've been very proud of most of my works. It's just interesting to notice. I feel like last year, I was very indecisive with my style, so this is a nice change of pace.

also, I don't feel like posting a selfie. not that i'm not absolutely gorgeous (I am), but I'm fully aware that the way my body looks best and the way my art tends to look is usually pretty different. I'm very handsome, and my art tends to be more on the soft, cute side. Which I also like. I contain multitudes. Also, I'm typically nearly bald, and I've been drawing a lot of full-haired anime boys lately, which would look pretty silly side by side

#idk what to tag this as ghiguhsrg its literally not an art vs artist

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triviareads · 11 months

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ARC Review of The Husband List by Ella Quinn

Summary:

Lady Madeline Vivers is looking for a conventional match, and Harry Sterns doesn't quite fit the bill. He's not a peer, and he's also a politician. Harry, on the other hand, falls for Madeline at once, and he has a season to convince her to set aside concerns about his career and her mother's objections to marry him.

My review:

This is a ballroom romance set during the social season. The characters take part in ton activities like rides and dances and drawing room calls, and lot of the nitty gritty when it comes to courtship is shown— dance strategizing, parental and sibling approval, how social status factors in, etc.. That being said (and bear in mind this is coming from an amateur history buff), this story is not set in a vacuum, and I appreciate that Ella Quinn took the time to do some research, particularly because the hero is political, and the heroine comes from a political family. Women's property rights are discussed. The Corn Laws are mentioned. Harry is explicitly a Radical MP.

I feel like the notion of political hostesses and upper-class women's contributions to politics is an aspect of the Regency Era that isn't explored enough. I think if more authors caught on, they could have a lot of fun with it, particularly with newer HR stories having more explicit feminist themes. That being said, was this a book where the heroine had fun with politics, per say? No, but I did appreciate that she found a worthy cause to champion (helping homeless people, especially children), and that the hero was supportive of her efforts, taking it as a sign of her being politically-minded.

The plot itself is centered around the courtship between Madeline and Harry. Madeline has a list of traits (that's vaguely referenced throughout the book) she desires in a husband. Basically, the two obstacles for her is that a) Madeline doesn't know if she wants to be the wife of an MP, and b) despite having a strong support system by way of the majority of her extended family, she still wants to please her mother by marrying a peer, which Harry is not. There's also the sideplot of Madeline helping kids off the streets. Otherwise, the book is split between a lot of low-stakes family drama (ex: her sister and her suitor that she seems to have beef with) and Madeline and Harry going on a lot of rides, trips to Gunters, and balls.

As a sidenote, it might be worth reading the books prior to this one in the series, and even the series this one is a spin-off of, because a lot of the characters consistently interact with Madeline.

The sex:

There's a lot of "oh if only she knew what KIND of exercise I wanted to do with her" kinda thoughts coming from the hero. Man's playing the long game when the only sustained contact he has with her for the majority of the book is when he helps her off her mare everyday. The sex itself is a couple pages and low-heat. I've never read Ella Quinn before, so this just might be standard for her.

Overall:

For me, this book was a nice change of pace from all fast-paced HR I've been reading of late. It was very low conflict, and family-centric. The Husband List wasn't personally for me, but I would recommend this book to fans of Julia Quinn, or even people who like Austen-esque novels of manners.

Thank you to Kensington Books and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.

#arc review #arc #ella quinn #historical romance #kensington books #netgalley #kensingtonbooks

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joaquinwhorres · 3 years

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gazes (joaquín torres x reader)

SUMMARY ››››› It's become increasingly apparent to Sam and Bucky that you and Joaquin cannot take your eyes off each other. Unfortunately for them, you two have decided to be Professionals and that means keeping your eyes, hands, and lips to yourselves. No matter how difficult it is.

WORD COUNT ››››› 3,716

WARNINGS ››››› sexy times implied

A/N ››››› Ok so these headcanons y'all have been sending me are incredible. I read these two back to back and I just had to write something connecting them.

The kid had no tact.

Sam wasn't exactly sure why he expected more from the guy who'd led into his theory that Steve was on the moon by referencing vague internet rumors, but even despite that, he'd assumed Joaquin possessed some sense of subtlety.

Instead he was over at the leg press trying and failing not to stare at Y/N as she bent over at the middle to help Bucky push deeper into the stretch.

"You know she could hit you with a harassment claim for staring at her like that."

Joaquin jumped, the weights dropping suddenly with a loud clang. Across the gym, Bucky laughed as Y/N whipped around to face the two men. "Everything ok?" Her voice sounded genuinely concerned, and Sam couldn't help but smirk as Joaquin turned towards her, giving a little wave.

"Foot slipped," he answered, and she nodded, turning back to Bucky quickly.

"Foot slipped," Sam mocked.

"Dude, you scared the shit out of me."

"If you paid half the amount of attention you give to Y/N to your surroundings, you'd have known I'd been standing here for three minutes."

Joaquin gave a defensive scoff. "I wasn't staring at her--I was just--" he stopped, searching for an excuse, and Sam raised his eyebrows.

When it was clear Joaquin couldn't find a convincing enough lie to end the sentence, Sam shook his head. "You know, if you talk to her, she might actually let you take her out."

"I talk to her," Joaquin protested.

Sam shook his head, uncrossing his arms. "No, I mean talk to her. Chat her up. You've gotta have some game, right?"

"I've got game..." His sentence trailed off as he turned to look in her direction, finding her standing over Bucky's feet with her hands on her hips. "But like, we're co-workers, you know? I don't want to make things awkward around the gym or the compound or anything."

"Joaquin," Sam said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "You're already making things awkward."

"He's staring at your ass again."

"And you're trying to get out of stretching again," you quipped, moving Bucky's leg closer to his chest. The super soldier tilted his head as if to acknowledge the legitimacy of your accusation.

"Doesn't change the fact that I think you're about to give him a heart attack."

"I highly doubt he's worried in the slightest about my ass. He's probably zoned out."

"He's definitely focused in...on--"

"On my ass," you finished, shaking your head. You might have given Bucky's claim a little more credence if it weren't for the fact that Joaquin Torres had been anything but the consummate professional towards you. He was friendly and upbeat and welcoming, and one of the few genuinely good guys you'd ever had the pleasure of working with.

You'd never caught him staring once, and it's not like the boy was exactly known for subtlety. Last time Bucky had asked him to cover for him so you couldn't come down and teach him the right way to train his body, he'd told you that Bucky had left the compound to get you a thank you gift for all of your hard work. All while staring at the gym door.

The heavy sound of weights falling against each other echoed throughout the gym, and you spun around to face the sound. Sam hovered over Joaquin's shoulder, the latter no longer working the leg press but instead looking as if he'd just received the scare of his life.

Bucky broke into laughter, and you smacked at his leg.

"Everything ok?" you called out, and Joaquin smiled, giving a sheepish little wave at you. "Foot slipped."

"It's a good thing he wasn't at the bench press. You might have killed him."

Your head snapped back to Bucky who was giving you a shit eating grin.

"You're an asshole."

"I'm right."

"Do you think if I ask nicely Wakanda will take you back?"

"So you know I'm right."

You chanced a glance back at Joaquin who was still talking to Sam before turning back around and placing your hands on your hips. "I'm calling Ayo."

You were running early.

Not to any event in particular, but just for the general course of your day. It was rare for you to wake up to your first alarm so completely refreshed, and with a fully awake brain, you found it much easier to navigate the morning. You were able to get dressed without crawling back in bed for a few more minutes, and didn't have to battle with sleepy indecision when choosing what you wanted to eat for breakfast.

One thing after another just continued to roll your way, leading you to the gym much earlier than usual.

And that's where the luck stopped.

Or maybe it didn't stop. But it definitely took a turn. Because while you fully expected someone else to be in the gym already, you hadn't expected just one person to be in the gym. And even if you had, you wouldn't have guessed that that one person would be Joaquin. And if, for some reason, you'd had the foresight to sense that, you definitely never would have pictured him to be running on the treadmill shirtless.

You stopped in your tracks, eyes falling to the bouncing dog tags on his chest and then lower to the well defined abs you'd somehow never seen before.

It felt like you'd seen just about every man in this compound shirtless. At some point, they all seemed to strip in the gym or during one of your group training classes you ran for those who weren't field agents. Bucky was shirtless half the time you worked together. It was so normal, you hardly even blinked an eye anymore. Seeing Sam without a shirt was more rare and quite the sight, but it'd never caught your breath quite like seeing Joaquin. Joaquin, who had never so much as worn a tank top in the gym, Joaquin.

And now here he was, chest bare and heaving, feet pounding rhythmically against the treadmill, hair still messy from his pillow and sweat. Your brain couldn't seem to function correctly, offering you images of the sight before you, only closer. Much closer. Hovering inches over your stretched out body as the headboard behind you rammed into the wall with the force of each thrust--

"Hey," Joaquin greeted, noticing you standing off to the side. You blinked, heat rushing to your face as he turned the treadmill down to a more leisurely pace. "Something wrong with my form?"

It was tempting to lie and offer to "help him fix it." Or to be completely honest and tell him you'd never seen a human form as perfect as his.

But neither of those responses were professional or even appropriate, and you needed this job.

You swallowed, shaking your head. "No, I was just wondering why you were wearing those," you said, gesturing to his dog tags, and allowing your eyes to fall to his chest once more. You followed a bead of sweat as it rolled down his body, heading to the waistband of his shorts. Joaquin reached to touch his tags, causing them to jingle together once more and pull your attention up to him.

"It's hard to let them go," he smiled, ruefully, hitting the button so the belt slowed even more. "I'd say it's a habit, putting them on, but at this point they're just like a part of me."

You nodded, wishing you'd taken this conversation anywhere but to the idea of dog tags and what they stood for. It wasn't so much a mood killer but a guilt inducer because instead of you feeling embarrassed and somber, all you wanted to do was grab them and pull him closer to you.

He must have read the conflict on your face because he gave a crooked smile. "Yeah, sorry, it's kinda morbid."

"No," you shook your head, clearing it of the daydream induced fog. "I probably shouldn't have asked."

"No, nah, it's cool," his smile grew into grin, as the belt came to a stop. He leaned his forearms against the console, staring at you as if waiting for you to continue the conversation. Which you were not equipped to do with a smiling and shirtless and sweaty Joaquin Torres right before you.

"Well, thanks for being cool about it," you said with a nod.

My God, something was wrong with you. They were just abs. And sure, maybe the abs belonged to the man who not only found the time to moonlight as a superhero but star in your increasingly dirty dreams of late, but it was just a body party that you'd seen a million times.

But never on Joaquin.

You blamed everything your brain was doing to you on Bucky and all of his stupid comments about Joaquin's supposed fixation on your ass. You wondered what he would say if he could see you now. "And I thought I was half machine. I could practically see your brain short circuiting." or "If that's what you're like when you see him half-naked, how are you ever going to--"

"Yeah, of course," Joaquin said, still smiling, his eyes lifting up over your shoulder as the other door to the gym opened and Sam came in. "Hey," he greeted with a jerk of his chin.

"Hey," Sam said, drawing closer, his eyes on you. You forced a smile on to your own face, and lifted a hand, not trusting anything that was coming out of your mouth.

"You're here early," the other man said, stepping onto the treadmill next to Joaquin's, and putting his water bottle down next to the machine.

Both of them were looking at you now, and it's not like you could handle staying in this gym any longer. "I came down looking for my water bottle. I think I left it here yesterday."

Sam raised his eyebrows glancing around the gym, and Joaquin stepped down off of the machine. "Do you want help looking for it?" he asked, and your whole body seemed to tense up at the idea, your brain transporting you to a future scenario where the two of you wandered around the room, Joaquin next to you or behind you, so close you could feel the heat radiating off of him, all the while searching for a water bottle that was sitting on your dresser.

"No." Your voice came out too high, but you tried to play it off, shaking your head. "I've already interrupted your workout enough. It's either by the weights or not in here."

"Alright," he nodded. "If you need any help looking around the compound though, let me know."

"Thanks," you said. And then you gave another stupid wave and beelined it for the weight racks because you had to get out of here.

You made a show of looking next to each section of weights, even bending over to check underneath of them as if it could have been knocked under somewhere. After you felt an appropriate amount of time had passed to be convincing, you straightened up, empty handed. You turned back to Joaquin and Sam, both watching you rather than continuing their workouts as you might have hoped.

"Not here," you called back with a shrug and then left the gym and headed straight up to your shower.

He was nothing if not predictable.

The minute Y/N bent over to check behind the weight rack, his eyes were glued to her. Or perhaps more accurately, the bright teal spandex shorts she wore. As she pulled herself back up from searching for her water bottle and turned to them, Joaquin quickly looked to Sam as if the two had been talking the whole time and then "casually" returned to her.

"Not here!" she said, shrugging and then walking out of the gym, her footsteps quick and purposeful as she left through the door Sam had just entered by.

"So, what'd I interrupt?"

Joaquin looked up at Sam as if remembering he was there. "What?"

"You know, when the two of you were sitting by this machine making eyes at each other? Did you actually say anything to her or….?"

Joaquin shook his head. "No, she just came in and, uh, we chatted for a second, and then…" he trailed off, as if not fully remembering any of the past ten, twenty, however many minutes.

"You just chatted," Sam repeated, the disbelief on his face edging into his voice.

"Yeah," Joaquin nodded.

"Anywhere in this chat you finally ask her out?"

"Nah, it didn't feel right."

"It didn't--she was practically taking off the other half of your clothes with her eyes," Sam sputtered, gesturing to Joaquin's shorts.

The kid laughed and shook his head as if Sam didn't know what he was talking about. Joaquin moved to exit the gym as well. "I'll see you later, man," he said, leaving a very exasperated Sam behind.

Bucky Barnes was a motherfucking liar.

"Let's grab a drink on Friday," he said.

"Consider it me making it up to you for being such a pain in your ass," he said.

"I'll buy," he said.

Mothefucker.

This wasn't just you and your favorite co-worker getting a drink. This was a goddamn set up. Because one hour and three mojitos into the night, Sam and Joaquin walked in the front door.

"I fucking hate you," you said, glaring up at his stupid smug face.

"Well, what a surprise, he grinned, as you shook a finger up at him.

"I told you in confidence I'm a flirty drunk."

He snorted, giving you a look out the side of his eyes. "You told me you were a flirty drunk after you sent me several highly inappropriate drunk text messages about what you wanted to do to a certain Lieutenant, who," the self-satisfied smile was back on Bucky's face. "Is making his way over to us right now."

"When I get home, I swear to God, I'm buying you a ticket to Wakanda."

Bucky quirked an eyebrow. "You're not going to do it now?"

"I didn't bring my credit card because you said you were paying," you huffed.

Before Bucky could respond, Sam and Joaquin were next to the two of you, greeting Bucky with hand slaps and one armed hugs. Sam came around and wrapped an arm around you first before sliding into the seat next to Bucky, and Joaquin came forward, giving you a quick hug.

Which was a first.

More than the feeling of his back underneath your palm, or the way he seemed to emanate warmth, you were done in by how absolutely incredible he smelled. But before you could fully identify whether it was his shampoo, a cologne, or just him, he pulled away and took the only other available seat near the group--the one next to you.

"I see you started without us," Sam said, raising his eyebrows at the assortment of glasses that sat before you. Most of them were Bucky's as he downed beers faster than should have been humanly possible.

"Hard drinker, huh Y/N," Joaquin teased, shooting you a smile.

"Pfft," you dismissed. "Only three are mine."

"Three?" Sam asked, leaning forward to better look at you. "How long have you been here?"

"An hour," you said, completely unnecessarily leaning forward too.

Bucky shrugged. "I got the time wrong."

"Guess we better catch up then," Joaquin said, and you sank back into your chair, narrowing your eyes at him in challenge.

"If you can."

They did.

You were outpaced fairly quickly against the two soldiers and one super soldier. The rum-induced fuzziness around the edges of your brain was compounded by having Joaquin so close to you. At some point he'd pulled his chair a bit closer to yours so that he could better hear the conversation, and you don't remember when it happened, but his arm had also slid around the back of your chair. To your relief neither Bucky nor Sam seemed to acknowledge this. In fact, Bucky was positively quiet and normal all things considered. Everything was going better than you could have expected.

Until the music kicked up.

Sam was the first to be dragged onto the dance floor. He was Captain America. Of course he'd been targeted by the stunning girl in the red dress who'd only had to come up and ask "Does Captain America dance?" to succeed in pulling him off to the dance floor.

Bucky was next. Although he wasn't tugged onto the dance floor by his hand the way Sam was. It was the sight of the person in the tight black number that did him in, luring him away to the dance as if drawn by a magnet.

And then it was you and Joaquin, sitting at the bar. Alone. Together.

You looked up from your drink, pushing the straw down into the ice to stir up the clinking sounds, and he took a swig of his beer before putting the bottle back down on the bar.

"Alright, let's dance," he said, nodding with his head towards the crowd, and you let out a disbelieving snort.

"I don't know how to dance. I mean, I can dance," you attempted to clarify, although you had a feeling words were failing you at the moment. "But that's real dancing, and I can't do that."

"I guess you're lucky you have a really good teacher asking you to dance then," Joaquin grinned, holding out a hand. You looked down at his open palm, hesitating only for a second before you slid your hand into his and jumped down from your chair.

He led you out through the moving bodies expertly, dodging couples who were clearly more into the dancing than each other and couples where the complete opposite was true. The small bit of space he found you was closer to the center of the dance floor than you'd usually feel comfortable with, but when he turned towards you with that look on his face, any of your residual anxiety had vanished.

"Ok, come close," he said, and you took a small step closer to him, causing him to laugh. "Closer." He gestured, and you moved forward some more, Joaquin's hands finding their way to your hips and pulling you even closer. His hands rose, one finding its way to your mid-back, pushing your elbow up to rest on his, as the other took your hand and placed it over shoulder.

"This ok?" he asked, eyebrows raised, and you nodded, trying to keep your attention on him, his instructions and his words, and not the way that you could feel just about every part of him from the way he was angled against you. His right side was flush against your left, and his knee pushed between yours.

"Just follow me," he said, his head bent close to yours. Before you could even respond, he started to move, pulling you along with him through the dance. It was smooth and rolling and you'd never seen a guy able to roll his hips like Joaquin. He seemed to know exactly how to guide you, moving his body to push and pull yours along whenever you hesitated or felt lost, coaxing waves and movements out of you that you didn't know you could do. Each success was met with a small word of praise and a brilliant smile, as his hands shifted to hold you closer, and you wrapped your own hand around his neck to better feel and predict his movements.

It felt as if a fog had rolled in over the dancefloor, obstructing all else from view so it was just you and Joaquin, eyes locked to each other as you moved together, occupying the same space.

The song faded into the next one, and Joaquin stopped. You went to move backwards, to give him space and have him move on as many other of the more skilled dancing couples seemed to do, switching partners amongst each other. But he kept you close to him, hand sliding down to your waist.

"Now you can really dance," he teased, his eyes shining as they stared into yours.

"Only with you." It was supposed to be a self-deprecating joke, but it came out too quiet and earnest. Joaquin licked his lips, and your eyes followed the gesture, flickering between his mouth and his eyes.

You don't remember making the decision. You only remember, moving even further into his arms, and pushing yourself up to reach his lips with your own. He bent down to meet you, pulling you even closer and pressing his hard body into yours. His lips moved as slowly and sensually as his hips had, drawing you in and guiding you through a careful rhythm that promised much, much more.

Sam sat with Bucky at the bar. Joaquin and Y/N had disappeared somewhere amongst the dance floor, hidden amongst the crowd.

"You think it worked?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow at Sam.

"If it didn't we're screwed," Sam shook his head, taking a swig from his drink.

As if on cue, the two emerged from the swaying bodies, hand in hand, sweaty and much happier than they had been when Sam had left them at the bar.

"We're gonna head back to the compound," Joaquin said with practiced casualness.

"Yeah?" Bucky asked, and Sam swore there was mischief literally glinting in his eyes.

"Yeah," Joaquin nodded too fast and too many times. "Yeah, Y/N forgot about something there…"

"What'd you forget?" Bucky asked, turning to Y/N with a wolfish smile.

"Nothing. We're going to have sex," Y/N said, flatly, causing Sam to nearly spit out his drink. "And if you say one more word, I know a pilot who will fly you to Wakanda himself. No ticket needed."

Bucky mimicked zippering his lips into a smug look, and she rolled her eyes before tugging Joaquin out of the bar by his hand. And he followed. Eyes glued to her ass.

#joaquin torres x reader #joaquín torres x reader #torres x reader #joaquín torres #joaquin torres #torres x y/n #joaquin torres x you #joaquín torres x you #joaquín torres x y/n #torres x you #joaquin torres x y/n #fatws fic #tfatws fic #joaquin torres fic #joaquín torres fic #torres fic #marvel fic

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arcanescribbles · 2 years

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Your wonderful art gave me the courage to get out my comfort zone and so,lately,I've been trying to draw more slef-indulgent/spicey Viktor.

It's a nice change of pace from the cutesy or detailed [I try]stuff I'm used to draw.

Feel free to share it with everyone else or just keep it for yourself ♡ It's my weird way to thank you for inspiring me and for what you do for us!🥺

OMG THIS IS STUNNING AND SO BEAUTIFULLY done 🥺💕 I’m honored to be a source of inspiration for you! I really like the idea that things don’t need to be shown graphically to still be sensual or appealing. It’s all about the ~*~mood~*~ 🥰 thank you so much for sharing!!

#ask me anything

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helloalycia · 3 years

Text

The Wrong Lifetime – Eight // Wanda Maximoff

chapter seven | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter nine

author’s note: Y/C/N = your cousin’s name, also this is later than I wanted today but i’ve been super busy so sorry for that! Also, I’ll be responding to comments from the last one as soon as I’m free. Enjoy 😊

"...okay, so now use the water to dilute the colour."

I did as Wanda said, dipping my brush in the glass of water and diluting the watercolour I was using, but I must have used too much because it made the paint run and then the paper started to get too damp to hold together.

Wanda facepalmed, sighing as I smiled sheepishly.

"My bad...?"

She glared playfully before ripping a page from her sketchbook. "Try again, milaya (darling). And use less water this time."

I squinted in the sun as I glanced at her. "Can't you just accept I'm not very good at painting? Or art in general?"

She shook her head, taking the torn page from my grasp and replacing it with a new one. "No way. You're not getting out of it that easily. It's not hard, I promise!"

I groaned lightheartedly. "You said that about drawing. And about using acrylics. And about using chalk."

"And I'm saying it about this, now c'mon, try again," she encouraged with an amused smile before returning to her own painting.

We were sat in my garden, hanging out and making the most of the lovely day we were having. The Spring breeze was getting warmer as we transitioned into Summer and it was a nice change of pace from the usual bad weather we had. So nice that Wanda wanted to do some painting and also teach me how to. But art was never my strong suit and I'm sure she knew that but still proceeded to try anyway.

Sketching out the tree before us for the third time today, I attempted to provide an outline that I could eventually fill in with green watercolours. Unlike Wanda though, it wasn't fun. My eyes veered over to her and I smiled to myself as I admired the look of concentration on her face – her 'art' look, I dubbed it. It was this very specific expression she got whenever she worked on a painting or drawing, and it always reminded me of that first time I saw it, after we met in the stationary store and when she took me back to her room. Absolutely wonderful.

"I don't hear a pencil moving," she said, not looking up but beginning to smile.

"That's because I'm looking for... what did you call it?" I racked my brain, thinking back to the day in the store when she talked about inspiration. "Vdokhoventi?"

A sharp exhale escaped her lips as she finally lifted her gaze to meet mine. Attempting not to laugh, she tilted her head adorably. "Vdokhnoveniye."

I quirked a brow. "Is that not what I said?"

She giggled, shaking her head. "Definitely not."

I grinned, shrugging. "Well, that's what I meant."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm not it, so eyes on your page."

"Oh, how dearly mistaken you are, love," I said quietly, leaning close and giving her a knowing smile.

She looked up, expression softening with a smile. Her eyes were heavenly, pupils dilated as she squinted in the sun, and they flickered to my lips before she settled on nudging me in the shoulder slightly. I snickered, leaning my head on her shoulder since everybody thought we were as close as best friends, so it wouldn't look suspicious. She sighed contently, letting me watch as she moved her paintbrush, painting a flower that was peeking through the grass we were sat on.

I could have stayed there forever, in that moment, sitting with Wanda and watching her paint under the sun. But of course, all good things come to an end when you don't want them to.

"Y/N, dear," I heard my father call, and when I looked up, I saw him approaching Wanda and I from the direction of our house.

Straightening up, I watched as he attempted to sit on the grass, but his legs were too long and he struggled to cross them. With a hearty chuckle, he stretched them out, slightly bent, and leaned on his hands.

"I'm getting too old for this, ladies," he said humorously, making Wanda and I smile.

"What d'you need, dad?" I asked, raising my brows.

"I just wanted to check in and see if you were ready for tonight," he said casually, making me furrow my brows. He seemed to notice my confusion, prompting, "Tonight? Your cousin's birthday party?"

"My cousin's what-now?"

He sighed, massaging the point between his brows. "Y/C/N? They organised this months ago. We're all expected to be there." His glanced to Wanda. "You, too, dear."

Wanda hummed, pulling her gaze from her painting and looking to my dad. "Yes, I'm aware. Got my dress ready and everything."

My eyes snapped to Wanda's with surprise. "You knew about this?!"

"You should be more like her," my dad muttered, as Wanda smiled with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

I looked back to my father. "I was planning on helping Y/B/N with his manuscript tonight."

My dad waved his hand. "I've already talked to him. He's agreed to work on it before the party starts so you're both on time."

I groaned, already tired at the sound of yet another party. Did it ever end?

"Don't be late," he ordered, though his voice was anything but stern. Cue another groan. He smiled before looking to Wanda's painting. "Wow, that's great, dear. Apparently you've got Y/N here attempting to do the same?"

Wanda chuckled as she handed him my several failed attempts. "Key word being 'attempting'."

He accepted the pages and stifled a smile of amusement. "Wow... maybe you should stick to writing, Y/N."

I ripped the pages from his grasp. "Cheers, dad, really."

He laughed before leaning forward and kissing my forehead. "It's all in good faith, dear. Now remember. Don't be late tonight, okay?"

I sighed, which he took as my response, before pushing himself off the grass with a grumble. Dusting his trousers, he nodded to Wanda and I before leaving us be.

"You could've told me I had yet another party to attend tonight," I told Wanda with narrowed eyes.

She shrugged, smiling helplessly. "I thought you knew."

I laid back on the grass with a dramatic sigh. "I just don't understand why our life revolves around extravagant parties, balls and dinners."

"That's just how it is, moya lyubov' (my love)," she said with a warm smile.

I looked up at the sky, raising my hand to shield the sun from my eyes, though my heart fluttered at one of the many nicknames she called me in Russian. "I'd rather live in the middle of nowhere. Where nobody expects anything of me and there's no stupid parties to attend."

She rested a hand on my leg before laying beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder. I relaxed my head on hers, appreciating how well we fit together.

"Same here," she agreed, making me gasp playfully.

"What? Don't you love the glitz and glamour?"

She laughed quietly. "I do, but I like the peace and quiet more."

I breathed out, fingertips brushing hers. "Maybe I can be a little late tonight... accidentally run over time so I don't have to stay as long."

Her fingers tugged on mine between us as a warning. "No. I'll be left alone and I'll be bored. And when I'm bored, I drink."

It was my turn to laugh. "You won't be alone, Wanda. You'll have Pietro."

She shifted so she was no longer leaning on my shoulder but instead tilting her head to look my way. "I want you."

I turned my head and gave her a small, promising smile. "I'll try to be on time."

She quirked a brow. "Try? You will."

My eyes flittered away, ready to argue otherwise, but she sat up and grabbed her paintbrush. I sat up, too, ready to tell her I would try, but I flinched when she flicked water towards me from the tip of it.

"Are you serious?" I asked, wiping the water from my eyelids with tongue-in-cheek.

She chuckled and I grabbed my paintbrush and did the same, watching her squirm when it flicked on her face.

Suppressed smile on her face, she wiped away the water and glared with dazzling eyes. "You shouldn't start what you can't finish, milaya (darling)."

Smiling from ear to ear, I quirked a brow devilishly. "Oh?"

"You're so lucky we're in front of people," she said lowly, leaning close enough to be platonic, but her hand slipped under my dress and creeped up my leg, making me involuntarily shiver. "Or you would be in serious trouble."

I stopped her hand from going any higher, the rings on her fingers cold enough for me to not melt under her touch. "I highly doubt that, love."

She held my gaze, intoxicating and mesmerising all at once. A sly smile tugged at her lips as she said, "Don't test me then. You heard your father. Don't be late."

I exhaled, licking my lips. "Fine. I won't be."

—

Later that afternoon, I found myself sat in my brother's study as the two of us worked on his latest manuscript together. It was a love story, his (my) specialty, and I was helping him to sort out his sentence structure when he decided to question me.

"Will you entertain me for a moment?" he asked randomly, making me look up from the pages.

"I'll probably regret it, but go on," I said jokingly, before looking back down and adding some notes to the paper.

His chair creaked as he leaned back, eyes watching me thoughtfully. "Are you in a secret relationship?"

I almost choked on my spit as he asked this, heart dropping to my stomach with panic. He couldn't know about Wanda, right? We'd been so careful.

Thankfully, I played it off well as I merely glanced his way before distracting myself with note-taking.

"Why would you think that, Y/B/N?" I asked like he was insane.

He shrugged in my peripheral. "I don't know... I've been wondering for a while. You've just loosened up so much more. And you're not as uptight as you usually are."

"Cheers," I said sarcastically.

He leaned forward, head resting in his palm. "This all happened right about the time I met Wanda..."

I swallowed hard, quirking a brow at him to play down my panic.

"I saw you with Pietro the other week," he continued, and I could finally breathe when I realised what he was insinuating. "I'm happy if you're happy, Y/N, but I'm not a fan of you sleeping with my publisher."

At that thought, I shuddered and proceeded to shove Y/B/N on the arm. "Don't say that. And I would never."

Just your fiancé, I thought guiltily.

"Good," he said with relief, straightening up. "Because you're not supposed to do that until you get married."

I rolled my eyes dismissively in response, but wondered if that still applied in a world where one was not allowed to marry the person they loved.

Y/B/N gave me a reassuring glance. "Look, I'm okay with it, I guess. But I'd appreciate the heads up so I can give him a stern talking to."

Realising there was a hint of mirth in his voice, I looked up and gave him a warning look. "Don't you dare."

He laughed, patting me on the back, to which I shrugged off with annoyance.

"It's the Maximoff charm," he commented knowingly. "The twins have that effect on people, don't they? Wanda sure has it on me."

A short silence fell after he said that and I chewed on my lip curiously, unable to stop myself from speaking until it was too late.

"Is her love reciprocated?"

He looked down to me from his daydream, no doubt of Wanda. "Pardon?"

Knowing there was no backing down from the conversation now, I avoided his eyes. "The engagement between you both was arranged... you're clearly in love with her, but is it returned?"

His lips twitched into a frown. "I'd hope so."

I hummed, diverting my attention away from him and to the pen in my hand.

"Why? Did she say something?" he asked, voice laden with worry.

"Of course not," I reassured him.

"But you'd tell me if she did?" he asked eagerly.

I looked his way and saw him peering down at me, hanging onto my response. I nodded lamely, which seemed to put him at ease as he sank into his chair with relief.

We spent the next few hours working on the manuscript without a hitch, but I noticed the time and realised the party was already in full swing. Wanda's words came to mind and I hoped she wouldn't be too annoyed at my lateness.

"We're wrapping it up now, don't worry," Y/B/N said, noticing me check the clock. "Thanks for the help. I'm gonna get this to my editor tomorrow. Your amendments should help make the process go a lot smoothly."

I hummed in response, feeling a heaviness settle on my shoulders as he mentioned his editor. It was always the same routine – I helped him with his manuscript, he got it edited, got his book published and got all the credit. And I was stuck in the same position, wishing I could do the same.

"What is it?" he asked with a sigh, sensing my mood.

Playing with the corner of the manuscript, I met his gaze. "I help you with your writing, but I never get anything from it."

"You get to help me," he pointed out, not seeing the issue. "Isn't that enough?"

Pietro's offer came to mind as I said, "What if I wrote my own book? And got published with my name on the cover?"

He squinted as he studied me, trying to find the humour in my words. Letting out a laugh, he shook his head.

"Y/N, that's absurd."

I raised my eyebrows hopefully. "I mean, is it? Would that be so bad?"

He pressed his lips together and breathed out through his nose. Resting a hand on my shoulder, he gave me a condescending look.

"I'm saying this because I care," he said, making me feel like crap. "But yes."

As if I didn't already know the answer, I asked, "Why?"

He motioned with his hand like it was obvious. "Because. People would look at you differently. You'd be undesirable. You know men don't like smart women. I'm just looking out for you as your brother."

I looked away, the bitterness at his words stinging more than usual. "Well, I like smart women."

Thinking I was joking, he chuckled. "Don't go saying things like that. One might misinterpret."

My teeth pressed into my lower lip hard, trying to contain my frustration.

"You can do this every now and then," he said, referring to the manuscript, "but any more isn't possible. Besides, two authors in one family? That's insane."

I forced a smile, but I wondered if his last comment was the real reason he wouldn't let me at least try to get published.

"Anyway, never mind that," he said indifferently. "We should probably head out. Dad is not going to be pleased. Especially since I promised we wouldn't be late."

I nodded, sliding my chair out and wanting to be anywhere but here right now. "Yeah, come on."

He gave me a sneaky smile. "Can't wait to see Pietro?"

I slapped him on the arm before standing up, ignoring his laughter. Nothing to make an already-depressing night worse than going to a party you didn't care for.

—

Wanda Maximoff was a very difficult drunk to be around, I'd learnt that the hard way.

As soon as Y/B/N and I rolled up to my cousin's house, a third of the guests were drunk and the rest were tipsy. A typical Y/L/N get-together. Y/B/N was instantly dragged away by some family whilst I was quick to make myself scarce, attempting to find Wanda. But the place was bustling with people and there were way too many rooms to check.

I found Pietro before I found his twin, as he was poking around party favours on a table in the corner, attempting to make out what were in the bags.

"If you're expecting a brand new fountain pen, you won't find it in there," I teased, making him jump.

He sighed when he looked my way, realising it was me. "I know that. But there's nothing better here to do, so I may as well know what freebies we'll be getting by the end of it."

I smirked. "Anything good?"

He shrugged, seeming disappointed. "Just some chocolate and perfume samples."

Holding back a smile, I said, "How tragic."

"If you're looking for my sister, she's over there," he said, nodding behind me. "You'll love this one."

"What do you mean?" I asked, brows knitted with confusion, before turning around and following his gaze.

Wanda was indeed stood on the other side of the dining room and I could just about make her out between idle guests. She was chatting to some woman, hands moving erratically and with expression, a grin on her lips.

"What is she doing?" I asked unsurely, tearing my eyes from her and looking to Pietro.

He was withholding laughter as he answered, "Sometimes, dear Y/N, my beloved twin sister gets drunk when she's–"

"Bored," I finished, remembering what she told me this morning. My face dropped as I mumbled, "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh indeed," Pietro said, grinning at his sister's dismay. "Drunk Wanda is a very truthful Wanda. So, any secrets of hers will most definitely be revealed tonight."

Pietro was too caught up in his own amusement to notice my eyes widening.

"One of our servants made me a platter a few years ago," Pietro explained, oblivious to my panic. "It was a delicious cheese platter, the cheese having been imported from France. Then, Wanda proceeded to eat it without telling me. When I asked if she did, she lied. And I only discovered she lied because she got drunk a few weeks later and bragged about how good the cheese was."

Continuing to ramble, though this time in Russian, Pietro complained about said incident, though I wasn't listening as I watched Wanda talk to the woman enthusiastically. I could only imagine what secrets she was sharing.

"Pietro!" I cut him off, earning his attention. "Shouldn't you do something? To stop Wanda?"

The cheese platter story long forgotten, his grin reappeared on his lips. "Nah, it's funny watching her make a fool of herself."

I gave him a look of disbelief before looking back to Wanda, who was laughing at something by herself. The woman she was speaking to seemed partially confused, but smiled to be polite. I gulped, before shaking my head.

"I'm not that mean," I said to Pietro before making a move to stop her.

Pietro booed me playfully, but I ignored him and approached the drunk brunette, managing to catch her conversation.

"–and they're usually such catty bitch–"

"Wanda!" I immediately cut her off, bumping into her side slightly to get her attention. "There you are!"

Green eyes widened with excitement as they met mine. "Y/N! You're here!"

Ignoring her, I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tugged her close before looking to the guest she was talking with.

"My apologies for her behaviour," I said with an awkward smile, hoping Wanda hadn't revealed anything suspicious.

"No need to apologise, dear," the woman said with an amused smile. "Wanda here was telling me all about how lovely of a sister-in-law you are. Or will be."

Wanda grinned, looking to me and leaning in so close that her nose brushed my cheek. "Yeah, she is," she continued to the woman, though her eyes were on mine. "She's sweet, not like other people make out their sister-in-laws to be."

My face was warm as I cleared my throat and smiled once more to the woman. "If you'll excuse Wanda and I."

The woman barely got out a nod before I dragged Wanda away, trying to keep her lips away from my neck (she was also an extremely clingy drunk). Tugging her into the bathroom down the hall, I closed the door behind us and released a breath of relief, grateful for the escape from guests.

"You look very sexy when you're worried," Wanda complimented, stepping forward and smiling dazedly.

"Wanda–"

She placed her hand on my jaw, moving closer so that her lips were grazing mine as she mumbled, "You came late, milaya (darling). But I still love you."

I'd like to say that I had the willpower to push her away and scold her for acting so obvious about us before, but my lips went numb as she captured them between hers. I could taste the alcohol on her lips as she moved them against mine, making me dizzy and forgetting what I was going to say. Her thumb caressed my jaw and I relaxed under her touch, hands resting on her chest. When she tried to part my lips with her tongue, I seemed to come to my senses.

"Wanda, you're drunk," I muttered, pushing her back gently.

She chased down my mouth again, sucking on my lip and tilting my head back so she could have better access. I tried not to let her win as I kissed her briefly before pulling away. Clouded hazel eyes met mine with a matching smirk.

"You're such a tease," she whispered, her accent thicker than usual and making my stomach flip uncontrollably. Her thumb traced my lips as she continued, "You shouldn't do that when I already know how you taste, moya lyubov' (my love)."

The way she was staring at me made me flustered in place, and she seemed to notice her effect on me as she winked my way.

Shaking my head and trying not to let her win, I said, "Look, Wanda. I'm sorry for being late. But did you really have to get drunk?"

She shrugged, leaning her weight on my shoulder with her hand. "If you hadn't kept me waiting, then I wouldn't have."

I sighed, looking to her apologetically. "I didn't realise the time."

A permanent troublesome smile was fixed on her lips as she watched me.

"Your brother told me how you can be when you get drunk," I said with mild concern, hoping she'd register my seriousness. "You need to be careful, Wanda. We can't have people finding out about us."

"It seems to me," she began agonisingly slowly, lacing her arms around my shoulders, "that you'll have to watch me all night to make sure I don't do anything out of line."

Determined not to play into her teasing, I maintained her gaze with a stern stare. "It seems I'll have to."

She bit her lip, eyes flickering between mine, before leaning further into my ear. In a whispered voice, she said, "That means you can't leave my side, printsessa (princess)."

I clenched my jaw, ready to agree, but a gasp escaped my lips as hers sucked on my earlobe, teeth nibbling on the sensitive skin. Stupid Wanda and her stupid flirting and stupid attractiveness.

"Wanda!" I scolded, though my cheeks were flushed as I pushed her away gently.

She laughed adorably, the sound making my heart skip a beat. "What?"

"You have to behave," I told her, swallowing hard and trying not to let her teasing smile get to me. "You can't do this out there. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed in a way that wasn't reassuring in the slightest.

I rolled my eyes before grabbing her hand and leading her back outside the bathroom, returning to the party. I wasn't planning on leaving her side for the rest of the evening, even if Y/B/N wanted to be with her. The last thing I wanted was for her cute drunken self to reveal something she couldn't take back.

To my relief, she kind of behaved after that. There were times when she would get a little too touchy to be platonic, but a quick stare set her straight. Y/B/N wasn't around much, as when he did join us, he was immediately pulled away by some family friends who wanted to discuss his books. For once, I was glad he was an author, afraid of what would happen if Wanda got too comfortable in his presence.

At one point though, he was able to join Wanda, Pietro and I at a standing table, relief flooding his expression when nobody called after him. His arm wrapped around Wanda's waist and he kissed the top of her head, making me look the other way with distaste. She scrunched her nose up at the action before distracting herself with a drink. I gave her a knowing look, having told her earlier to stop with the alcohol. She pretended not to see me.

"Sorry I've not been able to spend time with you tonight," he said to Wanda, oblivious to her tipsy state.

"It's almost like it's your birthday and not your cousin's," Pietro joked, smiling at him.

My brother chuckled. "I guess. They just all wanna talk about my manuscript."

"Ah, yes, the reason you were late, right?" Wanda asked, eyes falling to mine.

"I'm sorry," my brother apologised, assuming it was him she was speaking to.

"You were helping him, too, right?" Pietro asked, looking to me curiously. "Maybe I'll finally get a glance at your work."

I narrowed my eyes at him, having figured he'd put the subject to rest after last time. He merely grinned in response, finding joy in messing with me, just like his sister. Before I could say anything, my brother beat me to it.

"Don't be getting any ideas. It's just a hobby." He smiled forcefully, before glancing at me. "Isn't it, Y/N?"

So he was jealous. Wow.

"You don't need to hide your relationship, y'know," he continued when I didn't respond, looking to Pietro.

The silver-haired publisher choked on his drink as he looked to my brother, clearly very amused.

"I know you're together," Y/B/N said with agitation. "Everybody does. And don't get me wrong, Pietro, I respect you as a publisher."

I groaned quietly, closing my eyes with embarrassment. When I opened them, Pietro was watching my brother with an entertained smile, meanwhile, Wanda was looking between them with a twitching frown.

"But if you're going to date my sister, you should do it the right way," my brother continued stupidly. "It's not appropriate to have whatever this is." He motioned between us with his hands. "It's wrong."

I jumped when Wanda's hand slipped to my arse, squeezing it gently. Thankfully, our backs were to a wall so nobody would have noticed behind us, but I instantly glared at her and removed her hand. She gave me a cunning smile, not bothered by the consequences.

"...and if you're sleeping together like I suspect," Y/B/N was saying, making me flush with humiliation, "know that our friendship is at breaking point. I can't have that blatant disrespect in my life."

Wanda continued to attempt to grab my arse, making me slap her hand away several times, all whilst trying to manage whatever conversation was happening right now.

"I can't believe you just said that," I finally spoke up, managing to keep Wanda at bay long enough. "You're such an idiot, Y/B/N! I told you I wasn't with Pietro!"

Pietro tried not to laugh as he met my brother's intimidating stare. "I value our friendship, too, Y/B/N. Which is why I can promise you I have no... relations... with your sister. I don't like her like that, I can assure you."

Wanda snorted with amusement, before hiding behind a glass of wine when everyone looked her way.

Y/B/N seemed embarrassed as he cleared his throat. "Oh."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, oh!"

"I guess I should apologise," he said awkwardly, looking to Pietro. "I–"

"No apology necessary," Pietro cut him off, raising a hand. "I am thankful for the entertainment however."

"I'm gonna go literally anywhere else," I dismissed myself, unable to take the uncomfortable situation any longer.

Without waiting for a response, I turned on my heel and walked away. To my surprise, Wanda trailed after, falling into step with me.

I glanced at her unhappily, quirking a brow. "Can I help you?"

"Oh, don't be mad at me because your brother's an idiot," she said with a wag of her hand.

I gave her a suggestive look. "I told you to behave."

She pressed her lips together in a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry... Y/B/N was talking about you and Pietro and I– well, I don't like sharing, remember?"

The improper glint in her eye as she stopped before me, watching with amusement, made me feel warm all of a sudden. That day when she first told me that and we proceeded to make love flashed to mind, and she seemed to know as she had a mischievous look on her face.

Clearing my throat, I pointed a finger her way. "Behave."

I should have known by the devilish look in her eyes that she wouldn't.

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen imagine #marvel #mcu #scarlet witch #scarlet witch imagine

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reggiejworkshop · 2 years

Text

"Colored In Page of Aladdin, Abu, And The Genie"

The ink work was not done by me for once! This is actually a coloring page from an online site that has tons of Disney related coloring book pages. Link to the original line work is here: www.coloring-book.info/colorin… The colors you see however, are all from me. I ended up using my set of Caran D Arche Luminance colored pencils for this one! These pricey pencils have been sitting in my room for longest, and while I had used them in the past, I wanted to have a full picture to use for them. So this one did the job. This was initially done as part of a annual coloring contest done by Disney-Club on Deviantart where artists will take official Disney Coloring book pages and color them in. It was a different change of pace for me, but it was one I could get used to since I've recently gotten into collecting and drawing in adult coloring books. They really are nice to have on hand when I want color something but can't figure out what to draw. While I was considering on going digital like a lot of other entries had done, I decided to go down a different path by printing this one out and doing it traditionally. Plus it has been a very long time since I did piece fully in colored pencils. I actually started on this one about a few days after Christmas. Unfortunately between working on the previous piece I posted earlier last week and real life work related issues eating into my time, I realized until too late I completely missed the deadline for it. I honestly thought I had a few more days. Oh Well, I'll keep this contest on my tab for next year: www.deviantart.com/drzime/jour… I have E-Ocasio to thank for bringing this contest to my attention. I probably wouldn't have thought of doing it if your hadn't suggested it. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get it done in time. But I really did enjoy working on it and hope you like it!

#aladdin #90s cartoons #disney fanart #traditional art #colored pencil #the genie #abu #coloring pages #contest entry #cartoon #deviantart #aladdin 1992 #movies

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tetsuro-wulf · 2 years

Text

The Wulf's Eye: RP Journal #30 | Sake & Tales

This morning I let Li know I was going to be out most of the day. We had practice, we had a performance, and Eiri owed me a tale.

There has been a lot on my mind, specifically things I'm seeking out to look deeper into. But I'll probably write that as a separate entry itself. Today was.. a lot. The night in particular.

We went to the Shroudrose and invited a few of our friends from the Vault; Sejad, Aoix, Kayah, Izzy. I managed to book us a slot amongst the teahouses' performances for this moon, weeks in advance. It wasn't my first time going, I often did solo performances where I could there. I came with.. ah, my ex. Until he stopped coming and I ended up just going there and running into familiar faces. Sometimes I enjoy taking the stage without the thought of someone I know watching me. But of course, our friends were there to support today and I was thankful. Considering now I had much more free time, I could do things outside of my company. Indulging socializing with those I've only done business with has been a nice change of pace.

We performed and everyone loved it. Akai mentioned to me that he heard someone stating their favorite band member was the 'lupin cosplayer' which made me laugh. I'll never forget that. It is not the first time someone thought I was associated with lupin. For the rest of the performances, we danced together. Izzy got us some colorful drinks from the bar-- I sure as hell needed it. I need to do this more often with friends.

Afterwards, Eiri and I decided to drink at my brewery for the evening. They owed me a story, and I owed them in return. Except.. well, it went into something else before I even got the chance to. Eiri had no preference of drink, so we shared my SPECIALTY! Nigorizake. I snagged four bottles for us, and sure enough, it was needed. It was about the whole Moriko.. ordeal. I recalled making a comment at the Spiderlily about Eiri being drawn to Moriko, not so much attraction but kinship. The type of kinship I pushed aside nearly all my life until as of several years ago. But it went deeper. Eiri told me about.. Arukena.

I was not expecting what I heard, but it was as though everything suddenly made sense as they went on. Eiri mentioned seeking to fill a hole that Arukena left, considering.. the spider yokai turned out to had never actually cared for Eiri in the way he may have wanted as a small child. I felt moved and empathetic. I offered my advise, that Eiri should gradually seek that kinship they lacked, considering there were not many other jorogumo who were forthcoming, unlike kitsune. Even so, I mentioned how I don't exactly know ANY other Okami. They're elusive and uncommon in the mortal realm.

(Personal af, read at your own risk.)

Though, things took a bit.. of a turn in our discussion. As we spoke of the season and kinship drawing together.. /heat/ was brought up. I wanted to mess with Eiri by grasping their hand. Nothing.

Why? Because of Tenjin's specialty of course! Except here's the problem, it is only working 50%. And it's torment, hearing the other half within wracking my brain at how much he despises the supplements meant to help me. Eiri is my good friend and.. I trust them. So I vented about it a bit.. at the same time, I don't think Eiri understood the full extent and I thought that was alright. I have been yearning, as of late, instinctively, not so much at mind considering I've been so used to having someone this time of year. Or rather, I was different years ago. Different as in.. allowing the Mask to take over. I tried this time, but that ended in regret and a face I'm never seeing again.

Eiri brought up 'seeking someone out' to satisfy myself, but I am not the Mask's desires. Except.. that was when I thought of Li..

How.. garbage of me.. But why? Because he's been sharing my bed so purely? Was that instinct or desire? Why was his face the first to come to mind? But I will NOT act on it. Like I told Azure, I'm closing the chapter on this. I have a list of discoveries to make. And I want Li there to support me. I want my friends and family to support me. Let not the Mask do as he PLEASES whilst he stirs these thoughts in me. Except we are whole now. So it is MY thoughts. That..

Fuck.

In the moment I didn't realize it, but something washed over my being and it startled Eiri, to which I immediately felt embarrassed. And? Embarrassment for me rarely happens. But Eiri understood, and suggested a distractions as best friends do. For the remainder of the night, we played drinking games, said hello to Raulin over the pearl, Eiri braided flowers into my tail, we may have.. left the brewery at some point? I recall waking up with bruised knuckles and Eiri was unscathed. Strange.

I woke up really early, immediately forgot I didn't contact Li. Hopefully he's not worried. Though when I came back to headquarters, he was there, almost like he was waiting.

Seeing his face? I crashed into my pillows.

02.24.2022

#wulf journals #ffxiv roleplay #ffxiv writing #ffxiv coeurl rp #ffxiv crystal rp

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starlitsummermoon · 6 years

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I don't know if you're doing requests, but I've had the worst day ever... my best friend of 5 years up and left without a word. Can I request some Sid fluff? Or Masamune? I could really use the pick me up, but if you can't it's okay

Hmmmm… I haven’t been doing requests lately, but I’ll do one for this

“Can today get any worse?” I mumbled to myself, dragging my feet in the dirt on my way back to Azuchi castle. My laundry list of tasks for Nobunaga seemed never-ending as I ran marathons to get them done.

It didn’t matter what I had to do today, everything in the universe was dead set on trying to make me fail today. Deliveries led to arguments, pick-ups led to questions I didn’t have answers to, and so on. No task could simply be easy, but I completed them nonetheless.

All I could think about was changing into a fresh set of robes and turning myself into a futon burrito. The sun was just as done with this day as I was, turning the sky into a dingy orange and gray as clouds cluttered the sky.

“I don’t even get to enjoy the stars on my way back,” I sighed. On days my errands ran late, following the stars home always seemed to put a smile on my face, but it didn’t look promising tonight. I let out another hefty sigh, accompanied by a loud grumble from my stomach. “Maybe I can pick up some nice dumplings!”

Nope. Restaurant closed early due to short staff. Just my luck. That’s it, I’m done.

Entering the castle, I made myself scarce as I avoided any sign of life. I could hear familiar voices, like Mitsunari’s and Hideyoshi’s, in the distance, but the rumble of my tummy told me that I would be less than kind with anyone. A quick bite from the kitchen sounded nice, but knowing my luck, no leftovers would remain now that dinner is over. No point in bothering.

“Ahh, finally,” sliding my door shut behind me, I nearly slid to the floor, feeling relaxed at last. My room was the only “stress-free” environment on days like this. Wasting no time, I found a nice, clean robe for sleeping before sitting in front of my mirror. ‘A nice relaxing hair brushing sounds like a good way to unwind for now…’

Just as my worn out fingers grasped the handle to my brush, I felt the gust of wind from my door rapidly opening. Snapping my head back to see what was going on, my “guest” nearly slid to a stop as they approached me.

“There you are, lass!” Masamune huffed, kneeling down to my level, disgruntled. “I’ve been looking all over for you!” Turning back to my mirror, I ignored him. ‘Why now, Masamune?’

“I was wanting to see you at dinner,” Masamune finally settled down as he sat next to me. I saw his frown perk up into a smile in the reflection of my mirror. Straight-faced, I kept brushing my hair, trying to pretend like he wasn’t there.

Any other day, any other time, I would be more than happy to see him. His charm always seemed to butter me up, but what if I said the wrong thing? What if I do something I regret because I’m tired, I’m hungry, and just plain frustrated? It could be hard to push someone like Masamune away, but I never want to take that chance…

“What’s the matter with you, kitten?” leaning over, he peered into my face, so close I could feel his breath on my cheek. Even with one eye, he didn’t miss a thing. My lip trembled, tears welled up in the corners of my eyes, but I remained strong. Taking a deep breath, I relaxed myself, reeling the tears back in, but still said nothing, being to afraid to open my mouth in case the only sound that would come out would be wails.

“You can’t ignore me forever!” he pouted as he started poking my cheek, slowly at first but his pace quickened. His jabs were starting to jolt my head from side to side. ‘We’re both stubborn…’

“Will you please stop?!” I shouted, turning towards him with ferocity, my hairbrush nearly flying out of my grip. “Take a good look, do I look okay to you?! Do you have any idea what kind of day I’ve had? Do you even care? I’m worn to the bone from all the things I did today, and I can’t even take a moment to myself to relax or eat or anything!”

Masamune didn’t flinch, even as I yelled in his face; I expected no less. Overwhelmed, I turned away from him and buried my face in my hands, drawing up every bit of strength I had left to hold back my tears, my sobs. My face burned hot as my cheeks turned red with anger, or, let’s be honest, embarrassment.

Just as the waterfall of emotions was about to overflow, I suddenly felt warm all around. Confused, I looked up to find him embracing me from behind. He had pulled me into his lap, holding my back to his chest as he rested his chin on my shoulder.

“Easy now, kitten,” his words sent chills down my spine, his lips tickling my ear, “I was worried when I didn’t see you at dinner, so I brought some with me.” Holding his hand out in front of me, little hot dumplings sat in his palm, resting on a piece of cloth. They smelled amazing, and they were still hot. “I made these myself tonight, and it would be a sin if my girl didn’t get any.”

‘This man…’

It was too late. Tears blurred my vision as my lips uncontrollably trembled, but all I could do was laugh. Here I am, relaxing in the warm arms of this handsome man holding hot dumplings right in front of my face. Leaning my head back against his chest, I looked up into his beautiful ocean-blue eye.

“Masamune,” my hoarse voice was merely a whisper, “thank you.” Reaching my hand around his neck, I pulled him into a kiss. His lips tasted so sweet.

“Hey,” he chuckled, pulling away from the kiss, but not soon enough that it left me unsatisfied, “you’re supposed to eat the dumplings, not me. Dessert is always saved for after dinner, lass.”

#ikemen sengoku #ikesenfanfic #Masamune Date #ikesen #writing by starlit #ikesenrequestbystarlit #requestbystarlit #ikesenrequestbystarlitformasamune

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sideofmaduros · 7 years

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hey! your blog is great, was wondering if i could get some advice? I'm a trans dude, pretty unfit and like edging towards overweight. I've been going to the gym more recently (!!) which is great, but I've found that it can make me feel worse because it's drawing a lot of body image issues I've been suppressing to the surface. any thoughts on how to deal with that without spiralling into something like an eating disorder?

Hope this response isn’t too late, dude. Things have been busy af. Hurricane prep on top of classes and homework for college is a pain. Anyway, onto answering your question! I’ve written about it before a little bit here and a nice anon added some good stuff here.

Body image issues and dysphoria are really tough to deal with, especially when every other guy at the gym looks like a dang brick house and can casually bench 220. The best way I have found to combat this is to go to the gym with a friend. This way, you and your friend are focused on doing your own thing together. Do your workouts together, give each other pointers you learn from videos you watch about exercises – basically, get invested and be each others’ coach. If your friend you go with is at a similar fitness level to yourself, that makes it better, because then you can celebrate your small and big successes and changes at around the same time. When I used to go to the gym with my pal Alejandro, he and I were always doing the same weight for bench, and it was really cool to challenge each other to go up in weight and motivate each other. This made me focus less on the dysphoria and more on just being a good workout buddy to my friend. My current workout pal Nikole is Great and I love going to the gym with her. We’re both just super hype for our gains. So make a big deal out of your small achievements! It really helps!

If you can’t find a friend to go with you, or you don’t always go work out with a friend, listening to music can help distract you. Make a workout playlist or two, or just find some mixes, playlists, and albums you like and save them for the gym. Music helps you feel different stuff and can help up your mood when you feel yourself getting down. Crank up the volume and keep working hard!

Find fitness inspirations! Find trans guys on the web who’ve worked their asses off to get strong. Find trans guys who share advice for goals similar to your own, because they’ve been down that path before and have valuable stuff to share. There are a lot of them on youtube. My fav fitspo trans guy on youtube right now is Nathan Ostrum. Aydian Dowling is also on youtube – he’s the trans guy who was trying to get into the Men’s Health magazine! He’s a certified physical trainer now and puts a lot of fitness related content on his youtube channel ALionsFears. Seeing where these guys are now and knowing where they were before can help you feel like your goals are attainable and realistic.

There will still be bad days, though. Nothing will be a perfect fix for issues like this. You’ll still feel insecure and dysphoric sometimes. Try not to let that get you too down. I’ve never suffered from an eating disorder, so I can’t really talk about that and what that’s like or how to deal with it, because I feel like that wouldn’t be honest from me. But I definitely know what it feels like to just be at the gym and noticing all the cis guys around you and feeling like shit for not being able to do as many reps with the same weight – or even to handle that weight at all for one rep. I felt small and jealous and angry. I still feel this way. But remind yourself that you’re doing this for you. Every day you work towards your goal is a day well spent. No day is wasted if you’re working towards your goal, whether it be challenging yourself to make a faster time with your cardio jog, going up just 5 pounds for your squats, or resting after a rough day at the gym that kicked your ass – you’re getting somewhere: moving closer to slowly becoming the man you want to be. And it is a slow process. Change doesn’t happen all at once. You won’t lose weight or get huge gains overnight. It takes a long time. Bodybuilders and athletes who look the way they do have been at their sport for years, but they had to start somewhere. Everyone does. Nobody’s going to be amazing right off the bat at anything, and everyone has to work hard for a long time to get to their ideal place – and even then, that will evolve overtime. But my point is, don’t let dysphoria keep you from doing things for you. It’s really tough to get out of your room and hit the gym sometimes. Heck, it’s tough to even wanna change into your gym clothes when you’re having a really shitty day. But this is for you – this is to get where you want. Nothing is going to be easy, and there’s no shortcuts. You’ll feel like you have to work twice or three times as hard as any cis man to get the same results – and in some ways, that is true. But that does not mean it’s impossible. Stay dedicated, and if anything, go to the gym to fuck dysphoria. Let spite and frustration fuel you and work extra hard just to give a good “fuck you” to all the jealousy and insecurity. It’s better than laying in bed and doing nothing.

But even then, some days you will end up just laying in bed and doing nothing and letting the negativity get to you. Don’t feel bad. Don’t beat yourself up. Everyone slips back, everyone has rough days where they don’t do as well as they want to, everyone has something that just sets them back. It’s not your fault. Sometimes, you’ll mean to get back to the gym and you’ll keep telling yourself, “Today, I’ll go,” but something comes up and it takes you weeks, months, a year, for “today” to finally happen. But do not let yourself be eaten up by negativity. It’s way easier said than done. Take care of yourself, go at your own pace, take your time, and make sure whatever you’re doing will be healthy and good for your body. Don’t push too hard, don’t strain yourself, don’t take on too much at once. It may not feel like it, but you have time to get to where you want.

I hope this helps! Feel free to send me more asks if you still wanna discuss this, or even message me if you’d like. I’ll get to you as quickly as I can, dude.

#ask #anon #fitness #trans fitness #trans men #trans boy

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