#after the applause

[foxymoxynoona]

After the Applause (Ch. 7)

Header and linebreaks by @awrkives

Single Dad Jimin x Female OC

SUMMARY: Jimin doesn't know how he would have made it this far after the shattering of his world without the support of his thoughtful, generous, helpful neighbor. Hanbyul has lived next to hottie Jimin and his adorable daughter for years now, long enough to remember the wife he was so devoted to and lost far too young. With each safely ensconced on their side of the brick wall of the Parks' grief, it will take an enterprising little scientist to set the stage for a second chance at love.

CW/tags: grief, prior loss of spouse/parent, comfort, explicit sex, secondhand embarrassment, sort of love triangle/web/rat's nest, fluff, cursing, dating apps, fuckboy friends, dancer Jimin, stubborn dad Jimin, stubborn pre-teen daughter, miscommunication, pining

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By Monday Sunnie was almost completely back to her normal exuberant self, but her round-the-clock caretaker Appa had simply ushered the illness from daughter to dad. He knew it for sure when walking her to school left him red-faced, breathless, and shivering. There was no use denying it, no choice except to call Hoseok and other staff to see who could cover his classes for at least today and tomorrow. The last thing he wanted to do was pass this onto his students, especially not with the recital rushing closer.

Besides, he could work on choreography for Taejoon’s idol group from home –that was a gig he didn’t want to pass off. He could really use the additional income this month. Rent was going up in two months and he’d been avoiding thinking about it because obviously he couldn’t upset their lives and move them somewhere cheaper. This was their home. It had been Subin’s home. He wouldn’t know where to hallucinate her in a new home where she’d never been before, as he did the whole afternoon he spent curled up on the couch, sweating through his fever. 

Turned out he didn’t even have the energy to make himself tea, certainly not to choreograph a routine. Once again, Jimin had vastly overestimated himself.

At the last minute he realized he was not sure he could make the walk to get Sun-young. Shit! It was a short list of friends he felt comfortable asking for a favor like that: Hoseok was already covering his classes, Jungkook wasn’t answering his phone, but Taehyung did, on the second ring, like he’d been waiting for a call from Jimin. He was happy to get her but he had promised to go with Seokjin for something and could he just take Sun-young along with him for that? It sounded to Jimin like he’d said to greet the Muppets for the disco party but that was probably not right. The fever made everything fuzzy right now.

But whatever, Taehyung and Seokjin would never take her anywhere unsafe, so that was perfect. He called Sun-young’s school to have them give Sunnie the message Uncle Tae would pick her up and then collapsed on the couch and stopped thinking about anything. The fever was miserably uncomfortable. He didn’t have any adult medicine for it in the house; he prided himself on not getting sick often but damn it would have been welcome right now. Maye anti-nausea too, his stomach cramped and complained even though he wasn’t hungry.

The whole afternoon passed in a blink. He didn’t realize he’d even fallen asleep and suddenly Sun-young’s feet were pounding down the hallway. She knew the code and let herself in, Taehyung and Seokjin right on her heels.

Seokjin called from the hall, “No offense, Jimin, but I’m keeping my distance. I can’t get a restaurant of people sick!”

“I could use a few days off work,” Taehyung joked. “Lay one on me.”

Jimin only grunted at him and eased himself up to a sitting position. Sun-young grimaced.

“You’re really sick, Appa.”

“Wonder how that happened,” Taehyung teased and nudged Sun-young. But she looked genuinely upset, and that last thing Jimin wanted was for her to feel guilty. It was part of being a dad. He didn’t want her to hide that she was sick next time.

“It’s a testament to how close we are together,” Jimin insisted, the words a croak from his throat. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thanks for keeping her this afternoon, Tae. Thanks, Jin.” He pushed up from the couch and did his best not to look wobbly. “OK, Sunnie, let’s figure out some dinner.”

“You sure you don’t want me to stick around and help?” Taehyung pressed.

“Nah, it’s fine, I’m good, just groggy because I’m waking up.”

“Ok… but hey man, call me if you need anything, ok? You know my schedule is flexible, I’m happy to help.”

Jimin thanked them both again and flinched when the door slammed shut behind them. The offers were sincere, he knew that, just like he rationally knew his friends did not mind covering his classes or helping him with his child. He had to believe that, because he knew he wouldn’t begrudge them the help. He loved to be helpful. But accepting help when he’d had to lean on them so much was hard. He didn’t feel like it was nearly balanced.

Belatedly he realized he should have asked Taehyung if he knew what was going on between Hanbyul and Jungkook. Taehyung was nosy, he probably knew exactly how long they’d been dating and how serious it was and where they met and the first time they kissed and everything.

Maybe it was better he hadn’t asked though. He didn’t know that he was in a good headspace right now to find out they’d been dating for months now and he was just dumb as a rock oblivious. Why wouldn’t Jungkook have told him? And honestly, wasn’t it right that Jungkook should have asked him first if he had feelings for Hanbyul before making his move? It was the right thing to do as friends.

“Appa are you ok?” Sunnie asked as he shuffled to the kitchen. 

He waved his hand at her. “Yeah yeah, I’m good.”

But she planted herself in front of him and reached up to feel his sweaty forehead.

“You’re really sick, Appa. I know what it was like. Go lay down and I can make my own dinner.”

“You’re nine.”

“So what? I can make some things! Are you hungry? I can make something for you too.”

“I’m not hungry,” he admitted. He hesitated. If he insisted on cooking for her, was this just another way in which he was failing to recognize that she was growing up and gaining independence? Or was this leaning on his daughter in an unhealthy way, expecting her to be another adult in the house?

“We have gimbap, I can eat that. Go sleep. I’ll do my homework after I eat.”

“Ok…” He hesitated. This felt like a parenting failure. “Just get me if you need anything… I’ll just be in my room. You won’t be bothering me.”

Sun-young gave him a serious, decisive node and then pointed her finger towards his bedroom. He’d been summarily dismissed. It made him laugh, which turned into an achy coughing fit, so he did what she said and went to lie down.

Time passed unmeasured, but eventually Jimin rose from his deep sleep to the sounds of murmuring female voices and clinking cookware. For a brief moment, he found himself lost in time to years ago, when his wife might be in the kitchen cooking dinner. Especially after Sun-young was born, they’d alternated day-night shifts since their newborn daughter demanded attention round the clock; she’d been a terrible sleeper. He’d usually taken the night shift because he liked it anyway. 

Just as quickly he landed back in the present time. He tried to push quickly and clumsily from the bed to find out who the hell was in his apartment with his daughter, when he heard a laugh that answered for him.

Hanbyul was here.

He slowed his step and glanced at himself in the mirror over his dresser. He looked fucked up. There was only so much he could do about it though, the sweaty pink shine wasn’t going away until the cold did. He brushed his fingers through his hair, trying to look devilishly disheveled. He was not sure that it worked. He changed his clothes quickly so at least he wouldn’t smell like stale sweat.

He pulled on his best smile as he leaned against the counter separating kitchen from dining and living room. Sun-young stood on a chair and peered through the lid of a deep pot. Hanbyul stood at the counter beside her with her loose sweater sleeves rolled up past her elbows, knife making quick work of an onion. Her hair was pulled up into a spiky high bun, a few wispy strands escaping to frame her face. Her eyes were red from the onions when she glanced up at Jimin. And smiled.

“Appa! How do you feel?” Sun-young asked very seriously again, her laughter from a moment ago deftly suppressed.

“I’m..” He wanted to say good but he didn’t want Hanbyul to take his appearance as normal. “I’ve been better,” he admitted. “But better since this morning… I think…” The scent of the onions tickled his nose and he turned quickly away to sneeze into his elbow. Suddenly Hudu leapt down from the couch and vaulted over to Jimin, jumping up against his legs, like he’d been sleeping too deeply to notice Jimin was even there. 

“We’re making samgyetang,” Hanbyul assured him, as if he couldn’t have figured that out by the gingery smell of the broth. His nose was too stuffy to have caught it from the bedroom, but when Hanbyul lifted the lid on the pot so she and Sun-young could look inside, just enough of it managed to reach his sinuses for him to groan. He had no appetite but for that, he could develop one.

Hanbyul’s raised eyebrows made embarrassment rush through him.

“Oh, uh, it smells good. My nose is all f– messed up, but I could smell that– why are you here?” His voice cracked on the last note after croaking out the rest of it. Quickly he added, “You’re always welcome but we’re sick! I don’t want to get you sick too.”

Hanbyul shared a smile with Sun-young, as if they’d predicted and discussed this response. Jimin tried to crouch to pet Hudu, still spinning around his legs, but his body was too achy. He tried to get Hudu to jump up into his arms, but the dog wouldn’t. A stalemate in which neither of them was happy.

“I appreciate your concern but I think I’ll be all right. I have such a strong immune system, I rarely get sick. Don’t worry about me.”

“I asked her to come help me make soup for you,” Sun-young added.

“I see but– it’s very thoughtful but–” He spun quickly away to deliver a coughing fit into his elbow. Hudu was worried enough to scratch at his shin.

It meant he didn’t see Hanbyul come around from the kitchen until she touched his arm and held out a mug of steaming yuzu jelly tea.

“Please go rest more. Sun-young and I are just fine here.”

“She taught me how to mince garlic!”

“With a knife?!” Jimin cried, barely more than a wheeze of words.

Hanbyul tutted at him –tutted– “She’s old enough to learn how to safely cook things! I was much younger and still have all my fingers. Now back to bed, and make sure to drink that tea.”

She was so firm about it, he found his legs obeying. He stopped just through the door though and looked back. Hanbyul slid back around the counter and looked at whatever Sun-young was showing her on the counter. He knew that hopeful smile of Sunnie’s, that desperate need for acknowledgement. She beamed at Hanbyul’s praise for whatever it was. Together they lifted the lid and slid things in, four hands working together, and put the lid back on. The pot belched at them though, knocking the top askew. Both girls erupted with giggles as Hanbyul stirred and replaced the lid. Hudu sat in the middle of the rooms, as if he needed to see everyone at once. He watched Jimin and something in his eye made it look like he was about to bark and tattle on Jimin for not being in bed yet.

She shouldn’t be here. She didn’t need to be here. It  was asking too much, for her to come into a sick apartment and make soup for him. Sunnie had done the asking and Hanbyul had come and he owed her so much.

Hudu barked.

“Go to bed, Park Jimin!” Hanbyul called, and Sunnie giggled and pointed, chanting, “Go go! We’ll get you when it’s ready!” 

“Traitor,” Jimin mumbled to Hudu. Hudu stretched out to nap, conscience clear.

He lay in bed, as ordered. He sat up to sip the tea until only the dredges were left. He lay back down and listened to the crescendo of giggles across the apartment. They wove through his dozy dreams, swaddling him, rocking him in the rhythm of their conversation. He dreamed of seashell wind chimes on the balcony of a beachside bungalow; he dreamed of a crackling fireplace in front of three mugs of hot cocoa; he dreamed of a cool breeze caressing his skin with whispers: dance on, dance on.

He awoke to silence. The window was black with night, only by the light from the hallway could he find his phone in the sheets: 8:30. Time to get Hanbyul ready for bed. His body ached as he pushed himself up from the sweaty embrace of his bed. He felt like garbage, but slightly warmed over garbage, thanks to his nap-companion Hudu, who had jumped up into bed with him at some point. Garbage that could at least get his daughter’s school things ready for tomorrow, see her to bed, shower, and then collapse again. Maybe eat some soup, if there was any left. 

He forgot to check his hair and face as he stumbled into the hall. Two figures sitting at the end of it made him do a double take. It wasn’t the ghost of Subin, though, and he wasn’t confused by a memory this time, only confused to see them there: Sun-young and Hanbyul kneeling in front of the shrine they kept for Subin by the narrow window she had always joked was for growing a single flower in. So they did grow a single flower in it, though Jimin often forgot to water it so it tended to be more dead than alive.

He paused as Sun-young’s voice carried, “Sometimes I don’t remember very much about her.”

Hanbyul made a sympathetic humming noise.

“I was only maybe six years old when she died? I just remember suddenly she lived in the hospital and Appa took me there to visit her and I didn’t like being there because it smelled bad and everyone was sad a lot.”

“It’s ok not to remember everything,” Hanbyul said gently. “You were very little and sometimes remembering someone we’ve lost can hurt a lot, I think, so our minds… hm, maybe they wrap a blanket around the memory to keep it safe for another time when it won’t hurt so much.”

“Maybe that’s why Appa doesn’t talk about her very much,” Sun-young said and Jimin felt a knife in his ribs. “It makes him really sad.” Jimin felt like they did talk about her a lot. Wasn’t Subin in almost everything they said and did? But less so lately, and that was… hard.

“I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose someone you love that much. You both are very strong. I’m glad you have each other.”

He knew he shouldn’t keep listening to this and yet he couldn't tear himself away. Was it really so bad to eavesdrop? He decided Sun-young was right; despite the shrine, they did not talk about Subin very often. He always feared speaking of her would only remind Sunnie of what she lost, what she didn’t have. It sure did for Jimin.

“I remember her hair was really soft and I would wrap it around my fingers when we read books together,” Sun-young said. “I just learned to read when she got sick and I read books to her in the hospital. She liked Hello Banana Moon and Cloud Bread. Do you know those books?”

“I don’t.”

“I think I still have them. I’ll let you borrow them so you can read them. They're really good but I haven’t read them in a long time. Maybe we can read them together.”

“I’d like that a lot,” Hanbyul said and Jimin could feel her smile even though he saw only the back of her head. The girls sat so close together, Subin’s smiling face beaming down at them from the shrine. He knew where those two books were: tucked into the cupboard beneath the candles and figurines and Subin’s photos. He’d tucked them there when she died because it was too much to read the words to Sun-young that ought to be in Subin’s voice. 

But Sun-young wanted to share those stories her mother had taught her to read with Hanbyul.

The emotion was difficult to breathe around, a pair of fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, a rising tide blocking his throat. 

“I don’t remember much,” Hanbyul said. “I didn’t know your eomma very well but I would see her in the hall or the mail room. She was always very polite and thoughtful. She would hold the door open if my arms were full. If someone left trash out, she would take on the task of cleaning it up, even though it wasn’t hers. One year there was ice on the stairs and our neighbor Ma Gurim who is high in years nearly slipped. Your mother called the building manager and wouldn’t stop calling until they came out to take care of the ice.”

Sun-young giggled and said, “Appa says I have her stubbornness.”

“Her resilience, I think it is. Her brightness. She seemed like she could do anything, just like you.”

“It’s not very fair that she died.”

“No, Sun-young. It’s really, really not fair.”

Sun-young let out a heavy sigh and rested her head against Hanbyul’s shoulder. If it made Hanbyul uncomfortable, Jimin couldn’t tell from her body language. After a moment she wrapped her arm around the girl’s shoulder and rubbed her arm.

Jimin didn’t want to disturb them. He felt like he would be. Anyway, he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t have said anything better than Hanbyul had and her words lingered with him as he tiptoed away to the kitchen. 

It was too much to ask of a woman, wasn’t it? To come into a house that had lost one and take over being a partner and a mother. Not that it mattered anyway because Hanbyul was seeing Jungkook now but… well, it would have been too much to ask of her and that’s why it was for the best. Probably she felt incredibly awkward talking to Sun-young about her dead mother because it was an uncomfortable topic and while obviously she had navigated it beautifully, it was too much to ask. 

The kitchen had been cleaned so thoroughly there was no evidence of cooking. He opened the fridge with a start in his heart that maybe they had eaten all the soup and left none for him.

“What are you doing?” Hanbyul demanded behind him. “Shoo, get out of my kitchen! Go sit down.”

“It’s my kitchen,” he glowered, and playfully demanded, “Where’s my soup?”

She squeezed behind him and bodied him away to open the oven door where a stone bowl of the soup rested, still warm. The scent of it carried such a strong sense of strength and health and rest that it nearly brought tears to his eyes. That’s it, that’s the only reason his eyes were misty.

“I’ll carry it for you, go sit.”

“It’s time for Sun-young to get ready for–”

“I know, Appa, I’m already in my pajamas. I just need to brush my teeth,” Sun-young glowered just like him, arms crossed at his doubt. “I’ll make you tea and then go right to bed.”

“We have to get your backpack ready–”

“We did that,” Hanbyul assured him. “She wants to eat school lunch tomorrow or I said I would pack her one.”

“Unnie even ironed my uniform,” Sun-young added.

Hanbyul looked embarrassed by that and clarified, “With you both sick lately they just sat in the laundry basket for too long. Sunnie told me about her fundraiser and demonstrations.”

“Appa, can unnie help us make the rice cakes? We can teach her how to make them really nice. I know Appa isn’t a good cook but he really knows how to make the best rice cakes.”

Jimin felt like he was wrapped up in a whirlwind between them as he dove into the soup Hanbyul placed before him. They’d carried on all evening without him, and Hanbyul even had Sun-young ready for the day tomorrow. He didn’t have to worry about a thing.

“I can walk Sunnie to school too, if that’s helpful,” Hanbyul offered. 

Jimin shook his head and argued, “It’s not the direction of your office.”

“You know that?” Hanbyul asked, surprised. 

“I see the direction you walk, it’s not mysterious.”

She grinned and insisted, “It’s not too far out of the way though. I’ll just make my coffee at home before I go instead of stopping by the cafe. It’s better for my wallet anyway.”

“I’m sure I’ll be better by the morning.”

Sun-young put her hands on her hips and said to Habyul, “I think both my parents are stubborn.”

“There was no other way you could be,” Hanbyul nodded and it made Sun-young giggle. “It’s a good thing.”

“Is it?” Jimin teased.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that and go brush my teeth,” Sunnie said and stuck her tongue out at him. 

How strange to feel like a cared-for guest in his own home. Hudu had moved to the living room since Jimin left the bed and stretched out in a new nap across Jimin’s slippers, several of his toys strewn across the rug. The TV was off but low music played through the speakers.

“I’ll turn that off,” Hanbyul realized, heading for it. “Sunnie was trying to teach me to dance.”

“You seemed to do fine at the club.”

Immediately she covered her face and sighed, “Let’s never talk about that again.”

“No problem,” Jimin said and meant it. He’d like if they could never talk about him going to check on her the next morning and Jungkook opening the door as well.

While he slurped the soup and Hanbyul fiddled with the CD player and Sun-young sang loudly to herself in the bathroom as the water ran and Hudu decided to take a break from napping and work the squeaker out of his toy, Jimin got a very foreign feeling: wholeness. He felt like he was home. He was home, but he felt like it quite suddenly, like he rarely had done since the very first day he’d come home while Subin remained in hospital.

Sun-young threw her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek and bid him goodnight. Hanbyul followed her to say goodnight and turn the light off and for a moment Jimin almost told them where the storybooks were, but couldn’t quite bring himself to it. It felt dangerous to, like if he offered her one more step further into their lives, he’d never be able to let her go. 

Could she really co-exist with the memory of Subin? Was Sun-young really ok with that?

How could it seem so natural to watch her turn the bathroom light off and take Sunnie a glass of water and then scoop Hudu up for a snuggle. She ought to collapse onto the couch in exhaustion after an evening of parenting. And Jimin would collapse next to her, and drag her into his lap so they could stretch out and find something worthwhile to watch on the TV. She’d fall asleep there and he’d wake her gently later to move to–

Shit, he had to stop thinking like this. He had to. It was becoming too tragic to pine for his neighbor too late. He’d fucked up and only his fever-riddled brain was willing to admit how badly. Very badly. As she carried Hudu with her to sit in the chair next to him, Jimin had the unfortunate understanding that he might be very much in love with Hanbyul and been trying to hide it from himself.

I never know what I’m doing but you make me feel like I can figure it out. I think you belong here. Why don’t you just stay?

“I’m sorry if I massively overstepped tonight,” she said, completely at odds with his internal tragedy. 

“No. No, of course not. You can’t overstep but you didn’t have to do all this–” He broke off to cough into his elbow –away from her. If he got her sick, he’d never get over the guilt.

“I’ve told you before, it’s not a big deal. I love spending time with Sun-young and I’m glad you were able to get some rest. I’m serious about walking her to school in the morning too, unless you’d rather have one of your other friends.”

“I’m sorry if she made you uncomfortable talking about… Subin.”

Hanbyul’s sincere confusion was so endearing that he felt a twinge of guilt, saying Subin’s name just as he thought damn, Hanbyul really is pretty, isn’t she? It’s crazy she never went into acting or modeling.

“Why would that make me uncomfortable?” Hanbyul asked. “I’m flattered she felt like telling me about her mother. She’s a part of you and Sun-young forever. It’s unfair she can’t be here to take care of you while you’re sick and take care of Sun-young, but I hope I honored her by stepping in for an evening.”

Jimin nodded, briefly without words. 

Hanbyul gently touched the back of his hand and added, “I’m truly sorry for your loss, Jimin. I don’t know if I ever said that.”

“You did.”

“Well, good. And please don’t think you or Sun-young are ever a burden when you need help. No one is meant to do everything alone and–” She broke off as he suddenly flipped his hand, catching her palms against his. “--and I’m really happy to be here,” she said, barely a murmur as she stared at their hands. Jimin too, unsure how that had happened. It had been impulsive. It was the wrong move.

He drew in a deep, ragged breath and she pulled her hand away. He shouldn’t have. She was dating his friend. He couldn’t say he regretted it. He should have wound their fingers together, kept her there. 

But what would he say? I care about you more. Quit Jungkook and be with me. I’m sorry I was slow but it’s scary, you see? I didn’t think I could do this again…

He pushed back from the table and she leapt up as Hudu jumped down from her lap. She reached for the dishes but Jimin shooed her away.

“I can manage them.”

The fact she didn’t argue seemed telling. She gathered Hudu’s things into her bag and slid her phone into her pocket and Jimin felt an absolute dread that she was leaving. He knew he’d overstepped with the touch. She had to think so, because it had felt insanely intimate to him, just that moment of their palms touching. Her cheeks flushed and he feared it was with anger.

He started to say he was sorry, but Hanbyul spoke over him with a smile that seemed sincere, “I’ll come by to get Sun-young at 7:30. Don’t argue about it, please. I told her I would so it’s very important to me that I keep my word.”

“All right then. Thank you. Goodnight, Hudu,” he said, scratching the dog’s head. “Goodnight, Hanbyul.”

“Goodnight.”

It felt awkward. He felt it. He’d made her feel awkward, and after all she’d done for him. But he didn’t know what to say to fix it, and he already felt like shit anyway, so this one time he kept his mouth shut and just locked the door behind her.

The apartment felt empty with her gone, just him and sleeping Sun-young left, like the movie had ended and there just credits rolling. There wasn’t even music playing anymore.

Jimin knew he ought to get back to his apartment quickly. It was bad enough he’d had to call in another favor, but it was only fair he cover Hoseok’s classes now that he was sick, and Sun-young had science club, and sometimes things just seemed impossible for a single parent.

But walking past the corner florist made him pause. And think. And think. He was a thinker, a planner, he shouldn’t do things impulsively because then things could go wrong and you weren’t prepared.

But things went wrong even if you carefully planned. Time was unknown and unsympathetic and always running out.

The apartment had just felt so empty without her in it, the chair she’d sat in pulled out as if still waiting for her to take her seat again. He felt like he was waiting for Hanbyul to get home from work. One evening wasn’t enough.  

Was it worth the risk of losing a friendship over? Two friendships?

Park Jimin did something he never did: he let impulse take over.

He bought the flowers, a big pretty bouquet of purple and pink and white because they looked like stars and that was her name. Hanyul: Big Star.

He ignored the mailroom for now, because he was on a mission. He was going to shoot his shot. If it caused a rift with Jungkook… hopefully it could be mended. Probably it would cause only a rift between himself and Hanbyul because she’d be gracious about his unwelcome feelings and then he would lose something that was devastating him to have so little of anyway.

“Hold the elevator!” Jungkook called and dove inside.

For a moment they looked at each other, and then Jungkook’s face broke into a wide grin and he asked, “Who are the flowers for?”

“Sunnie.”

“Ah. Right.” 

They’d forgotten to push the button, so Jungkook did.

“You here to see Hanbyul?” Jimin asked, wishing it wasn’t true.

“Yeah.”

“Ah.” Silence as the elevator shimmied to life. “So uh… that. How did that happen? Is it serious?”

“Is what serious?”

Leave it to Jungkook to make Jimin spell it out, the ass: “You and Hanbyul.”

“We’ve got a real connection. Why do you ask? You in love with her or something?”

Thank fuck for his careful control of his face. 

Jimin gave him a playful grin and assured him, “No, no, I’m just looking out for her. I’m just asking if you’re serious about her.”

“You should fight me for her,” Jungkook grinned back.

Jimin’s expression twitched as he said, “I’m not… I’m not fighting you for her.” Gone was his foolish plan to sweep her out from under Jungkook.

Fuck, what an awful choice of words.

“Well not physically, I’d beat your ass,” Jungkook laughed. “I mean confessionally.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“Are you at least going to give her a choice? I mean, I’m pretty serious competition, it’d be pretty hard for anyone to– but hey, maybe it’s your lucky day,” Jungkook said and slapped him on the shoulder. 

“A choice… between us?” Jimin’s heart leapt into his throat with hope. Probably Jungkook was just fucking with him, but if he was actual casual enough to give Hanbyul a no-strings choice… well, would she really choose the single dad over hot young bachelor Jungkook… but… but maybe Sunnie could help him make a powerpoint and she’d find it charming…

Jungkook sighed, “You don’t like that idea? That sucks. Listen, don’t break her heart or anything, ok? She’s a really good friend of mine and–”

“No, stop, that’s what I was going to say!” Jimin forced a laugh, stepping off the elevator after him. “I just wanted to say I’m happy for you and that I–”

“Well I’m not dating her but maybe you should before someone else does, if you’re so bothered by it.”

Before Jimin could fathom a response, Jungkook pushed the buzzer at Hanbyul’s door.

“What, what do you mean you’re not–”

The door dragged open to reveal Hanbyul –in shortie shorts and a t shirt with a faded Minnie Mouse on it and stripey flower socks. Her expression shifted at once from neutral to surprise as she stared at Jimin.

Jungkook plucked a phone charger from her hand.

“Hey Hanbyul, thanks, Jimin’s got something to say to you, bye.”

He promptly turned and walked back towards the elevator.

**

“Uh…”

It took Hanbyul half a minute longer than it should have to realize Jungkook had retrieved his abandoned phone charger and departed. Her attention remained leveled at Jimin’s face in an attempt to not die of embarrassment: she’d just woken up from a gloriously braless and pantsless nap to a message from Jungkook saying by process of elimination he thought he’d left his phone charger at her place and was on his way over. Her offer to leave it at Jimin’s was too late; he never responded and she had time to do nothing but drag on shorts before the buzzer at her door revealed Jungkook. 

And Jimin.

He looked so much healthier after his illness –thanks in part, she hoped, to the soup. He looked even better since she’d seen him, when she picked up Sun-young and walked her to school before peeling off to haul ass to work. 

And then Hanbyul spent the next two days avoiding the Parks because she wanted it too much. It brought her too much happiness to be over there, doing simple domestic things with them like that. It was torture not to kiss Jimin’s flushed forehead and brush his hair back and really take care of him. It was unkind to herself and possibly to Sun-young to let herself get so close to the little girl who did not deserve to lose anyone else from her life.

The recruiter had contacted her via email and wanted to schedule an official interview; he promised to call her soon. Hanbyul had done a freaking out dance around the apartment. Then whipped her bra off and fallen into bed for a stress nap.

And now Jimin was standing at her door, seeing her in this disheveled space, holding out a bouquet of beautiful purple flowers. She did not understand and only took them because he seemed to want her to hold them for him.

“They’re for you,” he explained, as if she was an idiot (she was.) “To thank you.”

“Jimin, I told you, you have to stop thanking me. I’m going to start taking it as an insult.”

“Wha?”

“You didn’t have to get me flowers. But they’re beautiful, so thank you.” She loved how gracious that sounded, as if she could be cool about getting flowers, as if it happened all the time (it didn’t.)

“They’re stars, like your name. I don’t know what they’re actually called,” he admitted, laughing at himself.

“Thank you, I’ll put them in water right away.” She stepped into the apartment, expecting that was goodbye, but Hudu foiled her plan, darting into Jimin’s arms –or maybe Jimin had already wedged his body in to follow her through. That brat (Hudu, but also maybe Jimin.) 

“One second!” she called over her shoulder and disappeared into her bedroom to frantically drag on a sweatshirt. It was going to be weird if she completely changed, wouldn’t it? But she was so unkempt. Would it be weird to put on pants? 

She was taking too long. She hurried back to find Jimin going through her cabinets, looking for a vase. The only one was a heavy crystal thing she had borrowed from her mother a year ago because her mother had been grievously disappointed the visit before that Hanbyul didn’t have flowers on her table.

“Perfect, right Hudu?” He tossed a smile down to the pup, and then over his shoulder at her, and she felt simultaneously like a queen and a bug. He looked like that, smiling at her when she looked like this. It didn’t make her feel better that he’d recently looked sick. He had been adorable.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” she said.

“How are you? Not coming down with anything?”

Actually she’d had a slight headache all day and her throat felt scratchy that morning, but she wasn’t going to tell him that and make him feel guilty for accepting the help. It was probably nothing. A sudden onset of spring allergies or something.

“I’m good.”

She joined him at the counter but let him do the work of untying the bouquet, snipping the stems with her kitchen scissors and arranging them artfully in the vase.

“Wow, you’re really good at that.”

“I learned some arranging tricks when I was younger because it was cheaper to buy bulk flowers and make our own arrangements for performers than buying the bouquets.”

Her phone rang –a godawful thing because she never had the ringer on and didn’t even know what it was set to– and she gasped as she reached for it, but it was only her sister so she sent it to voicemail. She couldn’t risk missing this call!

“Ouch,” Jimin laughed. “Who deserved that?”

“My sister… I’ll call her back later.”

“Oh I don’t mean to stop you–”

“No, she’s calling to ask about–” Hanbyul broke off. Was this the sort of premature news one gave a neighbor-acquaintance-friend? “I might curse it,” she admitted.

Jimin raised an eyebrow but kept his gaze on the flowers he futzed with as he asked carefully, “Curse what? Not your um, relationship with Jungkook I hope?”

“I have a job interview– uh, wait, what relationship with Jungkook–?”

“A job interview! A new job? Or the promotion at your current place?”

“I don’t have a relationship with Jungkook,” she said. “A friendship, but that’s all.”

Jimin nodded and smiled. He pushed the vase towards the center of her counter and assured her, “It’s none of my business.”

“Why, did he tell you something else?”

“No, he said the same,” Jimin shrugged. 

“When we went out clubbing he had too much to drink and crashed here. Apparently he takes a phone charger with him when he goes clubbing in case he goes home with someone.” Hanbyul shook her head. She couldn’t imagine leading that kind of life. He had only laughed at her advice: maybe stop having sex the same day you meet a woman if you want deep and lasting romance so badly! Then he’d asked how deep and lasting romance with Jimin was going and she had threatened to block him. 

“That he does.”

“You met someone that night too,” Hanbyul recalled –in painstaking detail. She tried to be light as she teased, “Any exciting dating plans? Someone you met on the app?” She had on the exact same expression she knew she wore when trying to make bad news sound like good news at work to the higher ups.

He hissed through his teeth and admitted, “I haven’t even finished setting up my profile. And if you’re teasing me about who I think you are, she’s on the funding board for a scholarship group my dance school works with so I had to play nice. I didn’t realize you’d sneak away on me.”

“I didn’t sneak.”

“Hm.”

“I was way too drunk to be sneaking,” she admitted. “I don’t go out much like that.”

“Me neither.”

“It was fun though.”

“Would have been more fun if we’d actually gotten to dance,” Jimin said. Hanbyul could have sworn there was a note of longing to his voice.

“You don’t want to dance with me,” she assured him. “I can’t dance at all.”

“That’s ok.”

“No, I mean it. Your daughter suggested maybe I’d do better at yoga and asked if I understand what the beat of the music is.”

Jimin laughed and covered his eyes, “Oops. She’s a sharp-shooter sometimes… But no one is a lost cause. I saw you dancing at club and you did fine. Anyone can learn with a little help, I believe it.”

What were they talking about it again?

“Maybe next time. If there is a next time.”

“I hope there’s a next time,” Jimin said. He looked to the side in thought, then shook his head and admitted, “Honestly I was kicking myself. I don’t know why I hadn’t already introduced my friends to you. Of course you get along with all of them.”

“Why would you introduce your neighbor?” she laughed. Try to keep it light. This conversation felt strange for a reason she couldn’t quite put her thumb on. It felt serious, like an air of goodbye had settled around them in a haze. 

She hadn’t even done the interview yet!

“You’re not just my neighbor,” Jimin corrected. “Ma Gurim is just my neighbor. You’re at least a close friend.”

“At least,” she immediately repeated. 

He looked surprised by his own word choice, panicked almost, and clarified, “Not just anyone will come over and take care of me and my daughter when I’m sick.”

“Get over yourself, it’s not an inconvenience,” she teased to cover the way her heart fluttered high in her chest. At least a close friend.

“Get over myself,” he repeated with a laugh. “It’s true, I have an ego sometimes.” He ran his fingers through those blond locks. 

Her phone rang. What timing! She wanted to follow that train of thought: what did he mean by ego? Why was he smiling like that? He wasn’t flirting with her, was he? He must still be sick.

But interview terror temporarily outweighed Jimin confusion, and she answered her phone before it could ring a third time. Jimin’s eyes got big and he shirked his shoulders as if he shared her excitement and didn’t leave.

The recruiter was straight-forward but polite on the phone. There was interest in her resume and application letter. They would like to meet her for an afternoon of interviews. There would be several rounds for this more senior position, she must understand the selection process was thorough to ensure a good fit, which date from a list of available would work for her? Did she have any professional references she could provide for contact? 

Hanbyul flew around the kitchen but Jimin was the one to find the pen and paper for her. She rattled off two former colleagues she had already messaged about acting as references. She could make the date work –though it worried her, taking time off from her current job to interview, like they would know she was up to something and fire her, and then she might not get the new job, and have no job.

By the time she hung up, her heart was racing as if she’d been interviewed already. She hoped the man couldn’t tell over the phone.

“A new job,” Jimin said. “That’s… exciting.”

“It might be,” she agreed. “If I get it.”

“They’d be fucking crazy to snooze on you. Where is it? You didn’t say…”

“Oh, well the company has several branches. One is here but there’s also one near my parents, in the town I grew up in. My sister’s about to have her baby, you know, and–”

“Right, yes, I understand.” He was nodding a lot.

“So now I have an interview,” she breathed out.

“It can be hard to live away from family,” he continued. “I understand why you’d want to move back near them.”

Yes, there were plenty of reasons to go. She had told the recruiter her childhood hometown was her branch preference. It should be her branch preference. Her parents were getting up in years and she would want to know her sister’s baby. She’d set out for Seoul years ago and what did she really have to show for it? Hudu was not an anchor.

“What made you stay here instead of moving back to be near your parents?” she asked.

“Ah, it was a hard choice,” he admitted. “They wanted me to. Sometimes I’ve wondered if it was the right choice. But I have family here too, so does Sunnie. Subin’s parents are here and I didn’t want her to lose that connection with her mother’s family. But also Taehyung and Jungkook and Hoseok, Yoongi, everyone, they’re here. They’re my family too. We have a home, I have my dance school, Sunnie loves her school.”

“That all makes sense.”

“For a long time I wondered if I just stayed here because it’s where I was before… but this is my life. Everything, almost everyone I care about is here.”

Hanbyul was the one nodding a lot now. She looked at the pretty flowers Jimin had brought her, just to say thanks for doing a thing she wanted to do all the time. She knew with absolute clarity that she couldn’t go into a job interview without knowing once and for all whether she too had a family anchoring her here. For a moment the image of her with him felt so real she could reach out and touch it. She needed to know if the illusion would dissolve at the brush of her fingertips. 

It was crazy to wonder. It was wistful thinking. She was crazy fucking delusional.

But she had to know for sure and if there was nothing, if she was completely imagining the flirting, if he just wasn’t ready or wasn’t interested in welcoming her specifically into his life well… well that was good to know. 

“I don’t have a relationship with Jungkook,” she said, feeling like someone else was speaking the words. “But um, I did date Namjoon for a little bit.”

Jimin’s brow pinched in confusion as he repeated, “Namjoon? You already know Namjoon? When did you date–”

“Recently,” she admitted.

Jimin’s eyebrows raised before he said slowly, “Ohhhh. No, really? You’re the woman who… at the club, that’s why…”

“I guess that’s me.” She twisted her mouth, not sure what to say about Jimin knowing her by action. Why was she admitting this again?! “I, um… it wasn’t serious, at least I didn’t think so. It was nice, I mean he’s nice, he’s a good guy, but it just didn’t…” She gestured, wishing Jimin would finish the sentence for her and read her mind. Alas, he did not.

“You just ended it that day we went clubbing.”

“I’d been putting it off. I sort of didn’t know if there was even anything to end, I mean we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend or anything, we only went on a few dates really but– I admit, I didn’t handle it well, I should have called it off earlier. I didn’t know what to do because…”

She hated that she couldn’t read Jimin’s mind either. His expression was inscrutable. 

“I have feelings for someone else,” she said and felt like a good ten years of her life drained away with the words leaping from her tongue. She didn’t feel in control of that tongue. “I thought it would be better to meet someone else and move past those feelings.” She swallowed and cleared her throat. Her nose was getting stuffy. “But it didn’t work and it wasn’t fair to Namjoon.”

“This someone else doesn’t return your feelings?” 

She studied his face, desperate to tell if he understood what she was saying. She didn’t think she could be any more transparent, it would kill her. But she had to be. There wasn’t room for error and even though he was watching her so carefully right now, leaning forward, mouth open in that thoughtful pout he had, she couldn’t tell if he understood. She needed him to understand. She could be brave.

“No,” she admitted. “At least I don’t think so.”

“How could he not?” Even just that, even if he said or felt nothing else, Hanbyul felt warmed to her soul. 

Her smile flickered as she tried to joke, “I know, I’m a catch! But I’m still honored just to be neighbor Han–” He stepped forward suddenly and caught her face, cutting her off with a kiss. His lips pressed to hers, the softest caress, softer than her wildest dreams. A second kiss followed, harder, more certain, but still unhurried, like he had all afternoon to spend dragging that plush lower lip of his against hers. He kissed the ten years back into her lungs and then some; she felt sunlight seep from his fingertips into her jaw. She was drowning in him.

“He does return your feelings, Hanbyul,” he murmured, their noses brushing. “He’s just an idiot.”

“He’s not an idiot,” she argued. “He’s… careful.”

“So careful he may have missed his chance.”

What a silly fear from a silly, silly man. She slid her hands slowly up his chest, curious and shy at the strong curve of muscle firm behind the fabric. His neck was so warm beneath her palms. It felt scandalous to touch him so much, to hold him so close, to feel his hands ghost down to her waist, his fingertips nudging her closer.

“It’s not too late at all,” she whispered. “Not unless…” Hudu’s cold nose poked her calf and she startled. Leave it to her dog to nose in on the most romantic moment of her life because he couldn’t stand whispering.

“Unless what?” Jimin asked cautiously, as he leaned away to look in her face. Hudu barked and Jimin’s serious expression cracked into a smile as Hudu leapt up and scratched at his thigh for attention. As if demanding ok now what about me, where’s my kiss? 

God Jimin was even more beautiful up close, and now she knew what those lips felt like pressed to hers, and no words could do them justice. It didn’t seem real. Even his proximity didn’t seem real. It made her forget what she was saying until he threw a toy from the counter to distract Hudu and then pretended like they hadn’t had that interruption.

“Unless what?” he repeated.

“I just told you that I dated your friend. We, um, slept together….” Her face felt like it was on fire from the combination of kiss and confession. Double confession. Not the greatest combination of confessions.

Jimin actually rolled his eyes and sighed, “Yeah, I figured as much, I don’t need a play by play. But I kind of have a past too. I was married and she died. I have a daughter.”

“I know that.”

“And that’s not a dealbreaker for you?”

“No, of course not,” Hanbyul said, not understanding how it could be. 

“Then why would your past be a dealbreaker for me?”

“Well, it’s a very recent past…”

He shook his head, grinning, his earring dangling, and laughed, “I don’t care.”

“Really?”

“I think people are lucky if they get one chance at happiness in life. If I get another chance… I’m not going to let anything get in the way of it. Definitely not jealousy about you dating someone else before me. I can only be mad at myself for waiting so long, right?”

The magnitude of what he’d said was not lost on her. Another chance at happiness. That was… big. Bigger than a little crush, certainly bigger than anything casual thing she and Namjoon had talked about. For Jimin to speak so openly and optimistically about a future with her only moments after kissing her… 

She did it, she stole another kiss. She wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of her happiness, either. 

Then she gasped and laughed into her hand, “God, the first time you kiss me and I’m dressed like this!”

“I like it,” he immediately argued. “It’s cute. You’re very cute dressed like this.”

“I was taking a nap waiting for that call–”

He brushed the hair tenderly back from her face and instantly silenced her. The self-deprecation died on her lips because he looked at her like that. His fondness was transparent. How could she not feel radiant? Surely he’d never looked at her like that before, she couldn’t have missed it. The light touch of his fingers sent a shiver down her spine. Park Jimin was a dangerous charmer and somehow she was the object of his affection.

Impossible.

“Hanbyul,” he said her name lowly.

“Mm-hm.”

“Your face is very warm.”

“I’m…” She trailed off and pouted that he would make her say it. “I’m flustered.”

“I think you have a fever.”

“No, I don’t…”

“Are you sure you feel well?”

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “Really.” He pressed his cold hands to her cheeks and her forehead and her neck and she flinched, the muscles there stiff.

He narrowed his eyes at her and accused, “Did I get you sick and you didn’t tell me?”

“It’s probably just allergies.” She felt a jolt of worry. Would her being sick cause Jimin extraordinary distress because his wife had died? 

He cradled her face. He looked at her so sweetly. 

And ordered, “Get your buns to bed. It’s my turn to take your child for the evening. I’ll bring you stew.”

“But…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t cook it. I’ll order it.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” he insisted. “And not just because I got you sick but because taking care of you isn’t a burden to me either. It’s what good neighbors do.”

“Jimin!”

He snickered and then kissed her again, as if he couldn’t believe they did that now either. She was completely cowed into obeying his order to bed. He cared about her. He wanted to take care of her. And also to tease her, what a brat! She adored him.

“We’ll talk more about this later,” he promised, brushing his nose against her forehead. “If you promise I’m not too late, I can be patient for a little bit longer.” 

“Is this just a fever dream?” she murmured. Was Park Jimin really saying these things to her?! She felt like she’d hit her head and woken up in a drama.

“So you admit you have a fever.”

“No! Maybe… I’ll get my thermometer.”

She did. And Jimin brought over soup and kept Hudu, like he’d promised. And by the time Hanbyul had finished squealing over the phone at her sister –with very little space for her sister to contribute anything– her voice was shot and her nose was stuffed too much to even sniff her pretty flowers Jimin had brought her.

Did he really mean it, that he cared for her too? What did this mean for them? He hadn’t asked her out but said they would talk more later… Should she ask him out or wait for him to ask her out? Should she ask both of them out? Would Sun-young figure out something was off? Would it be upsetting for her? That child was crazy smart, she would definitely figure something out and ask Hanbyul on the spot and what was she supposed to say? I spiked a fever because your appa kissed me.

Being patient was hard. Harder than Jimin had anticipated. He had thought that kissing Hanbyul and admitting to her that he had feelings would bring him peace but instead it drove him fucking crazy because here they were hovering in this limbo space and she was sick. His fault! She’d cleared caught it taking care of him, and all he could do was take her soup and walk Hudu for her. It wasn’t nearly enough, not compared to how much she had done to take care of Sun-young. Definitely not as much as he wanted to do. He could see her shoulders ached with the fever; how badly he wanted to rub them for her. She was flushed and sweaty and he wanted to brush her hair back –in fact he did, but that felt like as much as he could do for now. 

She’d confessed first. God, he respected her so much for that. He’d definitely been about to chicken out. In hindsight he appreciated Jungkook putting him on the spot, but it didn’t escape him that, secretly, if she hadn’t said it first, he might have run away. He wanted to be brave, he did, but he felt so hopelessly out of his depth here. He didn’t think he could be trying this again with anyone but her, only Hanbyul, because she would be patient if he fumbled a bit. He truly believed that.

But they hadn’t had a chance to talk again because she was sick and he had promised to be patient, and he didn’t want to pressure her in case she took it back, if he harassed her. It scared him for her to be sick. He would be inclined to hover. He didn’t want to scare her off already.

Because now that this door was open, maybe open, if Hanbyul meant what she said and hadn’t just been delirious with fever… 

His heart raced every time he walked by Hanbyul’s door. When he buzzed to ask if Hudu wanted to go out again, he felt like a tongue-tied teenager again. 

Sun-young seemed to just accept that they’d been taking Hudu on walks for the last two days as if it was something they’d always done. She held Hudu’s leash and led Jimin on a path around the park that was clearly familiar to her and Hudu both.

“This is where unnie goes when we walk,” Sun-young informed him as they set out on a bigger circle of the park. “We go to the cafe and she buys me hot chocolate.”

“Hudu goes in with you?”

“He’s a very good dog,” Sunnie assured him, which of course he knew.  Jimin suggested they go, since she was clearly leading him there anyway, and listened with bemused interest as Sun-young told him facts she’d learned about dogs from a book at school, and how dogs were bred for jobs, and how she wondered what job Hudu was bred for.

“I think he’s a mutt,” Jimin said.

“That’s not very nice!”

“No, it’s not an insult. He just isn’t a purebred.”

“So?”

“No, I know, it’s not a bad thing,” Jimin insisted. “But purebreds are the dogs who were bred for a specific job. Mutts just… happened.” Because animals will be animals…

“Well I think Hudu would be very good at a job,” she said, and crouched down to scratch his ratty brown fur. “He can do anything he puts his mind to.” Hudu looked thrilled at her praise and nodded and licked the air in front of her, tail thumping against the pavement.

“Just like you.”

“That was cheesy,” she teased. “I wish Hudu was our dog.”

Jimin swallowed and nodded and casually suggested, “Well, he’s our good friend’s dog, so it’s kind of the same.”

“It’s not the same at all. If he was our dog he would live with us but right now we have to go all the way down the hall to see him.”

“Mm-hm,” Jimin hummed. Yeah, tell me about it. He knew it was too soon to talk to Sun-young about this thing that might be happening, that he might be going to date Hanbyul. He didn’t know what that meant, much less could he explain it to his daughter. It might mean nothing. Hanbyul might change her mind. They might go out on a few dates and she’d decide it wasn’t working. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, just because he was excited. Having a girlfriend wasn’t like adopting a dog, you didn’t just fill out some paperwork and they were yours forever.

“Appa why is your face all red?” Sunnie giggled. Yah, because I thought the word ‘girlfriend’ about Hanbyul. It was stupid to feel so giddy about it, like some deep slumbering part of him was creaking to life. They hadn’t even gone on a date yet. Hudu snipped at buds pushing through the ground in the flower beds lining the sidewalk and that was exactly how Jimin felt. He was waking up. Hanbyul made him feel like he was blossoming after a long, very hard winter.

“I’m just cold,” he muttered. 

“It’s not cold at all,” she insisted, and did a little spin on the sidewalk. It killed him how graceful she was and turning her back on dance but it was her choice. OK. He was living with it. “Hey we should start planning the rice cakes you signed us up to make for the fundraiser, huh? Do you know what science demonstration you’re doing yet?”

“Not yet. Let’s get hot cocoa to warm you up,” Sunnie suggested. Jimin wondered if that was what Hanbyul usually said; the phrase struck him as odd coming from his nine year old daughter. 

Hudu was pulling them that way too, so Jimin went along for it. She was right, it wasn’t that cold, it was actually very beautiful out this early April evening. Hanbyul liked winter but he knew she liked spring too, she would love walking in this right now, just as the cherry blossoms were reaching their peak. It was criminal she was stuck inside.

“Maybe if Hanbyul feels better this weekend we can see if she’ll go on a picnic with us to see the cherry blossoms,” he suggested.

“Because you just want her to cook for us?” Sunnie gave him a stern glare.

“What? No! I’ll cook.”

“You want to make her sick again?!”

“Hey!” he scowled, and pinched her cheek. She giggled and batted him away, but then grabbed his hand and wrestled with it before there was actually any space between them. He wrestled right back as they waited for the light and Hudu leapt around them, yipping like he was tattling. Jimin won by wrapping his arm around Sun-young and pulling her into his side for a stolen hug which she, breathlessly, conceded.

“Didn’t we go on picnics to see the cherry blossoms with Eomma when I was a baby?” Sun-young asked.

Jimin froze.

“We’ve gone other years,” he said slowly. Yes, it had been an annual tradition, as it was for most families. They’d missed the year after Subin died, because he couldn’t handle it. Maybe they’d missed the year after too? “Seokjin and Namjoon went with us last year.” He watched her as they waited, anxious about why she had thought of going with Subin and not with their other friends after he’d suggested it with Hanbyul. Had she already picked up on something special about Hanbyul going along, about his maybe budding relationship with Hanbyul? Was she already feeling like Hanbyul was encroaching on Subin’s place as her mother?

“Uncle Seokjin is a good cook too,” Sunnie mused. “If you invite him and unnie and Uncle Yoongi we can eat so much.”

Jimin laughed awkwardly. 

How the fuck was he going to talk to Sun-young about Hanbyul? He ought to wait until things progressed with Hanbyul, until he was sure she was sure there was a future there. This could be deeply distressing for Sun-young, him starting to date. Especially someone Sun-young cared about so much. It could ruin her relationship with Hanbyul, she could lose another very important person in her life if it was too soon for her. The progress he’d made with Sun-young could be undone. This thing that he wanted so badly might be the worst possible thing for his daughter… He couldn’t do anything to hurt her… Maybe a counselor could help? He was selfish, he wanted it all, but he also genuinely believed Hanbyul would be so good for Sun-young. Fuck, was he getting ahead of himself? But they were a package, he couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t be a positive force in his daughter’s life, who his daughter didn’t absolutely love–

“Appa aren’t we going to cross?” Sun-young sighed noisily and then laughed at him as he hurried to lead her and Hudu across before it changed. He was sweating now. Was it better to wait to say anything until he and Hanbyul had been dating a while or was Sun-young going to figure it out no matter how they tried to hide it and be hurt he’d tried? But she was a child. But what if she was mad. But obviously he couldn’t tell her something like this when nothing had even happened yet, and might even not happen if Hanbyul thought better of it before he managed to ask her out.

“Ok Hudu, be really good in here,” Jimin warned the dog, despite Sun-young insisting he knew how to behave –as if implying Jimin was the wild card here. 

It was a cute little cafe, just a nice little local place, not too busy but busy enough to be a reputable place. A curved green awning hung over the door and there were cherry blossoms painted on the window. The decor was simple and clean, dark wood in the seating area and crisp white around the counters and coffee machines.

Sun-young marched right up to the line at the counter, Hudu’s leash tighter around her hand to hold him close, like she must have seen Hanbyul do. It was sweet, seeing this glimpse into what Hanbyul and his daughter did without him. 

When it was their turn, the older woman at the counter smiled at Sun-young and asked, “Oh, you’re not with your eomma today?”

A jolt ran through Jimin. He was used to this –people questioning where his wife was, other mother’s asking to speak to Sun-young’s mother, teachers assuming Subin would be the one to volunteer for class things. But worse, he realized with a shock that the cafe woman thought Hanbyul was Sun-young’s mother. This preyed instantly on the fears he had just been living, as if the universe reached down to pluck them out of his brain and bring them into the real world.

“Oh, I–” Jimin began just as Sun-young chirped, “This is my appa! Can we get two hot cocoas?”

Jimin was stunned by the graceful way she evaded the question and only nodded along as Sun-young picked out two pastries as well, and then led him to a table by the window, explaining, “We like this table the best so we can watch people in the park.” Hudu curled up beneath Sun-young’s chair and waited patiently for her to pass down a spoon of whipped cream. She sang, “Who likes whipped cream? Who do? You do, Hudu!”

Jimin blew on his hot cocoa and tried to find the words.

“Um… Sunnie, you handled that very well,” Jimin eventually mustered. He watched her closely, waiting for any sign she was distressed at this reminder of the fact she didn’t have a mother, or confusion around Hanbyul’s role in her life. 

Sun-young looked thoughtful before laughing, “I thought you meant giving Hudu whipped cream! You mean ordering our drinks? I was practicing what to say before we came in here because unnie orders for us but she tells me to order sometimes too.”

“No, I meant… the confusion from the woman about Hanbyul…”

“Oh that’s nothing. People think unnie is my eomma a lot,” Sun-young informed him. “Well, not a lot, but sometimes people in the park or here think that.” She looked at the ceiling thoughtfully a moment, licking whipped cream off her upper lip, then asked, “Are you mad I didn’t tell her the right thing? I usually tell people the right thing but if you tell someone who doesn’t really know you that your mom is dead, they feel really bad about it. I didn’t want to make the woman feel bad when she’s just being nice. She works here a lot and unnie always talks to her.”

Jimin curled his hands around the cup and insisted, “I’m not saying you have to say anything. I know exactly what you mean.”

“You do?”

“People don’t know how to respond when you say something sad, like that your eomma is gone. It’s thoughtful of you that you didn’t want to make her feel bad but it’s ok to correct them still, even if it makes them feel bad for a moment.”

“Oh. You wanted me to?”

“No, I mean that… I don’t want you to think you need to go along with something that makes you feel sad or bad just to not make the other person feel a little awkward,” he rephrased. 

“It didn’t make me feel bad,” Sun-young said. She set her cup down and had a dollop of whipped cream on her nose which she tried to get off with her tongue before giving up and using the back of her hand before he could find a napkin. “She just doesn’t know me. Why?” Suddenly Sun-young looked worried. “You think it’s bad?”

“No no. You’re right that she doesn’t know you. I just meant it’s ok if it does make you feel sad, or if it bothers you for someone to think Hanbyul is your eomma and you want to correct them.”

Sun-young stretched her tongue out to get whipped cream off the edge of her cup before saying, “No, I don’t mind.” If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was far more interested in whipped cream than this conversation.

“No? Ok…”

“Sometimes she kind of acts like an eomma anyway,” Sun-young continued. “Like she does some things my real eomma would do if she was here.”

Every muscle in Jimin’s body clenched.

“Is that… ok?”

Sun-young couldn’t have looked more casual with her cheek on her hand as she scrunched her eyebrows and answered, “Yeah, why not? Then you don’t have to do everything.”

“I don’t mind doing everything.”

“You can’t do everything,” Sun-young insisted and gave him a look like he ought to know this. “It’s not that I like her more than you, you’re still my appa. But she’s a girl too and she does some things differently and I think it’s better having her around.”

“Yeah?”

“I get to see her so much lately, I mean until she got sick but you said it’s just a cold.” She gave him a quick look like a sudden fearful thought occurred to her.

“It’s just a cold,” he confirmed. “She got sick coming over when I was sick.”

“How did she get sick from you?”

“Hey that’s what happens with contagious colds,” he quickly insisted, afraid where her questions might lead her. “I didn’t do anything, that’s just how germs work. Just like it’s not your fault I got sick after you were sick. You’re into science, don’t you know about germs?”

“A little bit.” She began to rattle off things she knew about germs, peppering him with questions, so clearly unbothered by this entire conversation. Jimin felt himself start to thaw out. Surely it wouldn’t be that easy. It had only been a few years since Subin died. Sun-young’s feelings could change quickly if Hanbyul actually became a more official presence in her life. She was a little girl with such a little girl understanding of the world and relationships…

But she was growing up too. Maybe he was underestimating her. Again.

Once their pastries and hot cocoa were gone and Hudu was getting restless, Sun-young asked, “Maybe we should take a brownie home for unnie so she’s not sad we came here without her.”

“That’s a good idea. Do you know what she likes?”

“Definitely.” Sun-young made the selection, and the woman packed it up carefully, extending her sympathies when Jimin explained Hanbyul was sick. He didn’t fix the misconception earlier. It was wrong not to. He perpetuated a lie. He was pretending something, trying it on, something he didn’t have any right to yet. 

He felt the twinge of discomfort in his heart. Were things moving too quickly? Was it too soon? He had promised to love Subin his whole life, and now here he was letting this cafe woman believe that Hanbyul was his wife, Sun-young’s mother, all the things that Subin had actually been.

But alongside it was this fresh, slightly raw, new feeling. Like maybe those clothes could fit in time. Not yet, it was foreign and uncertain and scary but… but maybe he could get used to it. If Hanbyul could be patient with him

He had a feeling she would be.

“Maybe you can get unnie flowers too,” Sun-young suggested as they passed a woman selling bouquets on the corner as they crossed back to the park.

“I gave her flowers just a couple days ago.”

“Really?”

“Uh… yeah, you know, to thank her for helping out so much while I was sick. But then she was sick so I don’t think she can even enjoy them. Her nose isn’t working.”

“Maybe you should just ask unnie out on a date again.”

Jimin thought for sure he’d misheard her. He tripped on the curb as Hudu leapt ahead, barking at a squirrel. Sun-young dropped the leash and cried out, but Hudu immediately stopped and trotted right back, waiting patiently for Sun-young to pick the leash up again.

“What did you say?” Jimin asked, clearing the cough from his throat.

“Don’t you like her?”

“Hanbyul-ssi?”

“Yes.” Sun-young looked up at him with her big dark eyes, waiting expectantly.

“Of course, what’s not to like about her?” he returned, trying to sound casual.

“I know, and I think she likes us too and you already took her flowers so… I think it’s backwards? But I don’t really know anything about dating. I think you take her to see a movie now,” Sun-young suggested. As if she was really scraping her knowledge here to help her poor old appa who didn’t know anything about dating.

“You… would be ok with that?”

“I guess you can see a grownup movie I’m not old enough to watch anyway.”

But Jimin desperately wanted this permission that chance and the strange wandering mind of his daughter had brought him, so he pressed, “You would be ok if I went on a date with Hanbyul? If I… if we spent more time with her?”

“I know what dating is,” Sun-young scoffed. “I know when we went to see Mango Crush  it wasn’t even really a date because I was there so this time it can be just the two of you.” Jimin walked slowly, taking Hudu’s leash to pull him closer as some bicycles whizzed past and a bigger dog barked loudly. Hudu didn’t like it and stuck closer to Jiminn’s leg. He was thinking of what to say next.

Instead Sun-young asked, “Do you think it’s weird because it’s not eomma?”

“Weird isn’t the word I was thinking but… maybe. Do you think so?”

“No,” Sun-young said. He thought that was a strange answer and didn’t know whether to trust it.

“I miss your eomma every day,” he continued, “and I haven’t wanted to think about meeting someone new. No one can ever replace your eomma. She loved you so much. I loved her so much.”

“I know that.”

“So I just want to be careful. I don’t want to do anything that makes you and me sad. It’s hard to lose your eomma. It was hard for me to lose my wife.”

Sun-young pursed her lips in thought and it broke his heart, having such an adult conversation with a little girl. It was wrong what he’d said before. She didn’t have a little girl view of the world; she’d had to grow up very quickly in some ways. He just wanted to protect what little girl remained.

“I miss Eomma too, I wish she didn’t die. But I like doing things with unnie too. Is that ok?”

“It’s definitely ok.”

“Then why is it weird?”

“Just… because… I don’t know. Maybe it’s not weird,” he admitted because he didn’t know how to explain his complicated feelings and maybe he didn’t need to. If Sun-young didn’t have a hard time holding both Subin and Hanbyul in her heart, maybe he didn’t need to make it weird for her. If her feelings changed, if she felt different lately, well, they would work through that then. 

“Yeah, don’t make it weird, Appa, and don’t try to be funny and confuse her so she doesn’t know you’re asking her out. Unnie says when you are communicating something important, you have to be firm and clear and believe in yourself.”

“Are you… giving me advice on how to ask her out?”

“Yes!”

Jimin glared and assured her, “Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out. I’ve done this before.”

“With eomma? But that was so long ago.”

“Hey!”

“When we get home you can take Hudu and the brownie and I’ll run to our apartment so you have privacy,” Sun-young suggested.

“I’m not asking her out today! She’s sick!”

“But if you wait, Uncle Tae might ask her out! I think he likes her too.” 

And Namjoon and Jungkook Jimin internally grumbled.

“Don’t you worry about it.”

“Maybe I should help. I asked her out for Mango Crush.”

“Sunnie,” he stopped her right outside the building. “I’ve got this.”

She clapped her hands together and agreed, “That’s good, Appa, believe in yourself. I think she likes us a lot, I think she’ll say yes.”

He did not ask Hanbyul out, despite Sun-young’s eager questions as soon as he got back from returning Hudu and delivering the brownie. He tutted her away. Now he wondered if it would be better for her not to have known for a different reason. She might overwhelm Hanbyul. She might make Hanbyul feel rushed or pressured into something she didn’t actually want.

No, he had to trust Hanbyul in making her own decisions. He believed she would. And his heart did feel lighter about it all knowing he had Sun-young’s shockingly full support. 

Instead he waited until Sun-young had gone to bed to make the last phone call he needed to before he’d feel free to take the next step.

“Hey, Namjoon! I don’t want things to be awkward between us so I want to be upfront with you about my feelings for Hanbyul…”

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

#jimin ff #jimin x oc #park jimin fanfic #dad jimin #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #jimin smut #jimin fluff #jimin fic #jimin fanfic #single dad jimin #after the applause

[pearlcaddy]

otpsource valentine's day event 2023 ♡ free choice

lockwood + luce

#lockwood & co #lockwoodandcoedit #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #anthonylockwoodedit #lucy carlyle #lucycarlyleedit #locklyle #locklyleedit #otpvday2023 #tvedit #userotp #pearlcaddyedit #pearlcaddy l&co #500 #1k #2k #frankly i feel like i deserve a round of applause after coloring some of these because this show is a nightmare #he calls her luce seventeen times in this show i canNOT #(there's one more after she's passed out but it's not different from the finger in the mouth one) #the luce with the finger in the mouth is indecent i can't even talk even talk about it #then the next one makes me utterly feral because he's so soft and checking in when they're in the middle of a job??? #and the 'no way luce' one wrecks me #the only time he calls her luce in front of anyone other than george or a cab driver #the fittes squad got to witness a luce and him calling her a secret weapon in a soft voice

[foldingfittedsheets]

My first ever concert was Death Cab for Cutie. I was supposed to go with a friend but she bailed. The venue was this gorgeous local park that put on concerts over the summer so it was a big outdoor area.

I thought about not going but I was like, social anxiety be damned. I will go to this concert alone! I’d already bought the tickets and it would be an adventure. In my heart I was hoping someone might ask me to join them which in hindsight was fairly ludicrous given the insular nature of both Death Cab fans and Pacific Northwesters.

So I went alone and sat alone. I still had a pretty nice time and when the concert finished I got up, folded up my blanket, and headed out. I was a little puzzled more people weren’t leaving but I figured it was just that they were having a nice time with their friends on the grass.

I had made my way out of the venue when music started back up. I froze.

Readers, I didn’t know encores existed.

I stood outside the fence, feeling ridiculous, listening to my favorite song drifting along the night air over the barricade. The tickets were only good to be scanned once. I’m certain now if I’d explained to the door people they’d have let me back in, but I was young and embarrassed.

I sat outside the fence on the warm summer evening as the light faded, wishing I weren’t alone, listening to music about being lonely.

#ramblies #death cab for cutie #my main recollection was that the silversun pickups opened and absolutely bombed #they also decided to bash Ben gibbard right before a song? then when it ended there was almost no applause and they walked it back #but it was decidedly chilly toward them after that

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

“Poorly-Drawn” Poorly-Drawn-MDZS by my friend who has no context for what MDZS is, but has read every comic of mine in support.

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #fan art #[text translation]: ‘Are you sure? I haven't done art in my life and I dont even own any coloured pens or have funny things to say- #or know what mdzs is? I have never seen the show I mean are you sure you want this? Your loss dude.’ #The context for this was my curiosity about their impressions of what was going on after a whole year of second hand exposure. #Honestly I think you (I know you'll see this) knocked it out of the park with this comic - despite protesting about a ‘lack of art skills’. #The punchlines absolutely incapacitated me. So glad this is my highly specific legacy. #Round of applause for Larry; the guy who's literally been here from the start. The ultimate cheerleader. #Makes me drink water when I’m nearly incapacitated from dehydration. #And lets me talk about this blog without judgment. #Merci de m'avoir soutenu mon pote

[johnny1note]

why the wedding scene in The Sound of Music (1965) is perfect:

1. Julie is divinely beautiful with her subtle makeup and simple dress and the set is lit such that she literally looks like a glowing angel. Slay Queen.

2. The way it opens with the sisters helping her get ready, much like a bride's actual sisters would, because they really are like her family of origin! And the Mother Abbess giving her the blessing to go forth and joyfully embrace her true calling 😭

3. The organ introduction with all the stops out slaps and I would really love to incorporate it into something in my own church organ playing if it wasn't so recognizable.

4. The Mother Abbess shutting the gate behind Maria as she enters the church being the visual symbolism of her final break with her former life plan, but all of the nuns still being visible through the iron bars and smiling as a sign that they are still supporting her spiritually as she goes forward to join her new family

5. The counterpoint of the wedding march with "how do you solve a problem like Maria" also slaps and turns the comic deprecatory song of the first act into a solemn declaration of triumph. Genius.

6. Christopher Plummer's VERY subtle smile in his closeups is so perfect for the character.

7. The way the procession is filmed makes very effective use of the horizontal length of the church aisle (and you get to see all of the gorgeous Baroque side altars) and the symbolism of a long nave leading to the sanctuary in church architecture, you feel like you are really following Maria on her spiritual journey.

8. The way that there's like 2000 people at this wedding, it's great demonstration of how marriage (and worship in general) is a public social good as well as a private good.

9. Maria ascending the stairs to the choir like she's literally climbing to God!!!! Symbolizes how the sacrament of marriage is an elevated, holy state of being.

10. The key transposing upwards to a triumphant E-flat, mounting tension as we approach the climax of the scene, and the sisters' voices drop out too, as to suggest that words fail to capture the significance of what is about to take place.

11. Continuing tension mounting as the brass in the orchestration increases and everyone approaches the altar and kneels.

12. The final closeup starting on the bishop and panning upwards on the altarpiece; similarly to point 7, this is great use of the verticality of the space and how church architecture draws our eyes upwards on purpose to suggest that we are there to be elevated to God.

There are three symbols of Christian triumph on the altarpiece which, in context, suggest that the sacrament of marriage itself is a Christian triumph and something that leads us towards God, but these three symbols also specifically relate to the story of The Sound of Music:

a. the risen Christ [Georg 'rose' by resolving his grief, waking up to his children's emotional needs, as well as his own]

b. the coronation of the Virgin [Maria is 'crowned' by being married to Georg and fulfilling her true vocation]

c. Michael spearing Lucifer [foreshadowing Nazi Germany's eventual defeat in WWII? Or maybe just Sr. Berthe and Sr. Margaretta wrecking Col. Schneider's car]

Overall, 11/10. My only potential complaint would be that Richard Haydn (Uncle Max) genuflects with the wrong knee but I choose to forgive this.

#addendum: It closes with bells [the way it opened wow full circle!] #and the bells help release tension from the intense orchestral ending and almost suggest applause/cheering #and with the camera outside of the church as if it burst through the roof after panning up to the ceiling in the previous shot #it suggests that the joy and holiness of the marriage transcend all the beautiful symbolism of the church architecture etc that preceded it

[ten-simm]

"I wonder what I'd be without you"

#just wanted to emphasize the Master's expressions here #the biggest 'his gaze softened' to have ever 'his gaze softened'-ed #you can see him going from confused to the moment when he's finally touched with realization by ten's word with the eyebrow raise #and how he's visibly holding back the tears and simply can't contain a smile that only grows bigger #and the way he looks at then by the end really has a mix of emotions but for me it screams longing #because with the way he says “yeah” and his thoughtful expression at the beginning he very likely was reminiscing their memories together #and he comes to realization that yeah. what were they without each other. #or you can say that he just finally felt touched that ten isn't willing to let go of the 2 of them together after everything the master did #considering this was the first time we saw him in a moment of vulnerability. he was scared even #he opened himself very briefly for the first time and ten still showed compassion towards him #okay this got way longer that I thought but I think a LOT was spoken here even with no words #a big applause to john simm's facial acting here of course #thoschei #tensimm #best enemies #doctor who #tenth doctor #10th doctor #simm!master

[sylvia-forest]

[CN] Shaw’s Know His Unrestrained Nature Date

⚡Warning: This post contains detailed spoiler’s for a Date which hasn’t released in EN yet!⚡

[Released Date: 16 June 2023]

[This date was translated with the help of Google translate and by my lovely friend!]

[T/N]: Before proceeding further, it's very very important that you understand the hidden meaning behind his karma name!! 

知我疏狂 is an idiom, derived from a Chinese literature work 诗经

the term is used to describe a person’s uninhibited/unrestrained nature/ temperament, while it can also come from a pov of stand-offish and careless nature

The karma name is Shaw’s invitation to the MC to “know his unrestrained nature” as well as experience the color and youth of life!

—

[Section 1]

Knock knock.

I retracted my hand after knocking on the door expectantly, heard the faint sound of footsteps, and quickly cleared my throat.

The moment the door was opened, I raised the small party popper in my hand, and the light-colored strips exploded and “snapped” between me and Shaw.

MC: Ding ding! Mr. Shaw, congratulations on being the only customer of "MC Birthday Customization", Happy birthday!

Amid all the colors, Shaw silently blew away the sticky ribbon from his lips.

Shaw [snorts]: Birthday customization? What new tricks are you playing?

MC: Didn't I say last week that I want to give you an interesting and creative birthday?

MC: So after careful consideration, I’ve decided to do an openly private customization for your birthday.

As I spoke, I patted my backpack mysteriously.

MC: I guarantee that every part of the process will leave you with something you never expected!

Shaw: Unexpected?

Shaw looked at my "professional smile" for a while, and then at the bulging backpack behind me.

Shaw: It sounds very attractive.

Shaw: But unfortunately, I have to go out for a while. For now, I can't see what kind of treasure you have stored in your backpack.

MC [horrified]: Right now?

I opened my mouth wide in surprise, and the curvature of my lips immediately collapsed.

MC: What's the matter this time? Did Professor Shen call you to do labor work? Is your thesis on deadline again?

Shaw: Don't make a fuss, your shouting will make me deaf.

Shaw: It's my private business.

I couldn't help but kick the ribbons under my feet as he tugged his ears indifferently.

MC: What's so urgent? Today is your birthday......

A soft laugh came from overhead, followed by a pop to my head.

Shaw: I didn't say that today isn't my birthday.

Shaw: After all, there's someone who racked her brains for a week, and I have to show some sincerity to appreciate it, otherwise I don't know how many times this matter will be turned over by her.

MC: Who's going to bring up the old score ......?

Although I wasn't convinced, this explanation reassured me, and he opened the door completely as if he had seen through my mind.

Shaw: Alright, if you want to celebrate my birthday earlier, we should finish the work quickly.

MC [excitedly]: Huh? You're gonna take me there?

Seeing his "otherwise" expression, I grasped the straps of my backpack tightly.

This bag is full of preparations for his birthday, so it is safest to carry it with me. Thinking of this, I nodded firmly.

MC: I'll carry it on my back!

[Section 2]

String music surrounded the antique tea house, fresh smell filled up my nose.

I followed Shaw through the open-air Chinese-style corridor and tugged at the hem of his clothes in surprise.

MC: Are you here on business?

Shaw: What is the problem?

MC: No, just a bass player who loves graffiti and skateboards doing private affairs in such a quiet place feels out of place.

Shaw raised his  "oh" tune a bit, and shook our clasped hands meaningfully.

Shaw: And that's out of character? Isn't it more incongruous for me to hold a silly you?

MC [angrily]: Shaw!

Seeing me gritted my teeth, he smiled cheerfully and turned his gaze to the corridor.

Shaw: This place is opened by a highly respected old expert in the antique world. He is an old friend of the old man.

I froze for a moment, then followed his pace closely.

MC: Then what did you come to see him for?

Shaw: He contacted me this morning and asked me to come pick up an item.

I wanted to ask more but Shaw stood in front of a private room, knocked twice on the door, and walked in.

I looked behind him, and the elegant private room was brightly lit, surrounded by exquisite mahogany shelves on three sides.

But there was no one in the private room. Shaw seemed to notice something and picked up a note from a tea table.

Shaw: "Please help yourself"?

MC: What does it mean…

He shrugged, took out his phone, and dialed a number, and after a while, he put the phone back and raised his eyebrows with great interest.

MC: What's wrong?

Shaw: Ah? He told me to fetch the things myself.

MC: I guess the old expert doesn't plan to come.

Shaw: The old man's character is perverse, and has an unpredictable style of behavior. I heard that he also likes to do some small inventions, in short, very strange.

MC: ... You mean, he's weird enough to call you and then stand you up?

Shaw: That's not the case.

Shaw raised the note again and looked at it.

Shaw: He has probably already put the things in this private room.

MC: What is it?

Shaw's nonchalant eyes froze for a moment, and the sunlight shone in his eyes as if swaying a certain long-term memory.

Shaw: A jade bead.

I nodded, took a step forward and searched for the tea table and chairs, and inquired about this Jade bead's information while searching.

MC: Jade beads...is it one of your antique shop deals?

Shaw [angrily]: Do I look like someone who would temporarily stand you up for a deal?

Through the reflection of the window, I saw his sharp eyebrows raised high as if expressing his dissatisfaction.

MC [tries to smooth things out]: Hey, hey, of course not. I just can't figure out what the origin of this jade pearl is since you're in such a hurry to get it.

Shaw lightly grunted, and walked to the mahogany antique shelf, focusing his gaze on exploring the layers. After a while, he opened his mouth.

Shaw: In a sense, this jade bead is my master's thing.

I was dumbfounded for a moment, I didn't realize that what he came to pick up had such a deep meaning.

I walked up to him unconsciously and wanted to continue asking, but saw a bright light on the first floor of the shelf where several copper coins were placed.

My heart moved slightly, and I quickly poked my head in through the shelf, and I saw a delicate small jade bead in the corner.

MC: Found it!

[Section 3]

The moment he held the jade bead, there was a faint mechanical sound in the air. The next moment, as if the mechanism was triggered, there was a huge "clang" sound from the mahogany shelf.

Before I realized what happened, a figure strode towards me and took me into his arms.

Shaw [shouts]: Watch out!

Crash—— something seemed to fall to the ground, I instinctively huddled in front of his chest and glanced out, and found that there were several cabinet doors hidden behind the antique shelf!

And densely packed jade beads fell from the cabinet to the ground, immediately flooding the small open space.

I couldn't help but lift the jade bead I just had picked up, and was surprised to find that these jade beads on the ground were exactly the same as the ones in my hand!

Shaw's expression also flashed a bit of disbelief, he took the jade bead from my hand and threw it in the palm of his hand, frowning.

Shaw: Counterfeit, the weight isn't correct.

MC: Huh? What's the situation?

Shaw lowered his gaze, and after a while, he seemed to have figured something out, and let out a light snort.

Shaw: It is estimated that this weird old man is giving me a problem. He wanted to check whether I could bring back my master things.

I followed his gaze and fell to the jade beads on the ground, feeling like crying.

MC: So many beads ....... It'll take half of the day if we start weighing them one by one!

If it takes too long, then Shaw's birthday... I tried my best to swallow the second half of the sentence and looked at him steadfastly.

MC: Then you tell me the weight of the correct jade bead, me and you finding it together should save a lot of time!

As I said that, I was about to bend down, but he grabbed my arm.

Shaw: That jade bead is priceless, how could he throw it into this pile of rubbish?

I blinked and understood what he meant.

MC: Are jade beads so expensive?

Shaw [amusingly]: Of course, it was brought out from the ancient tomb.

His calm tone made a sound in my heart, and I stuttered for a while.

MC [nervously]: This, isn't this a tomb robbery?

Shaw gave me a funny look and sat lazily by the tea table with his legs crossed.

Shaw: Yes, but it wasn't my master who stole it. It's a long story. I only found out about it by accident after the old man left.

[T/N]: If you've read his bday R&S then you'll know about this “long story”!

As if reminiscing an old memory, his gaze fell unhurriedly to the tree shadow outside the window.

Shaw: When a few foreigners who were selling antiques wanted to enter the ancient tomb to steal this jade pearl, my master and his friends took the initiative to stop it.

Shaw: After finally getting the jade beads, because the old man injured his leg, he was robbed in the end.

MC: …and after that?

Shaw: Later, the jade beads were resold abroad, presumably to avoid the limelight, and it didn't take long for them to disappear.

Shaw: Until today, this strange old man contacted me and said that he found it since he still has to fulfill the agreement he made with my master decades ago.

MC: Agreement?

Shaw: Yes. Whoever finds the jade pearl first will donate it to the museum under my master's name, so we can't let him suffer for nothing.

Hearing such a tumultuous story, I felt a little emotional.

MC: I can't believe your master was a sentimental person...... In addition to collecting antiques, he was also a pioneer in protecting cultural relics.

Shaw [snorts]: He was stubborn.

He smiled, and his voice lowered unconsciously.

Shaw: He stubbornly believes that these cultural relics contain not only material value but also historical weight.

Shaw: And history must stay in a specific environment to be the most original, so cultural relics must stay in the local area.

He was talking about his Master's stubbornness, but there was no trace of negation in his tone, and there was even a bit of yearning in his eyes.

I couldn't help but raise the corners of my lips and go along with his words.

MC: I can tell that your master is very powerful, and his knowledge is very broad

Shaw: What broad knowledge, just a stiff old man.

Seeing him muttering, I wanted to laugh a little, when I accidentally glanced at the copper coins on the mahogany shelf out of the corner of my eye.

Something seemed to pop up in my mind, I blinked and remembered the situation when Shaw was doing divination for me during New Year's Eve.

MC: ….. Shaw.

MC: Do you think the "divination" can tell where the jade pearl is?

Shaw was stunned for a second, and the corners of his lips slowly curled up.

Shaw [teasingly]: You're something, wait.

He got up and took the three copper coins from the shelf, enclosed them in his palm, and threw them on the table.

After repeating this act six times, he looked at me sideways, and the conviction in his eyes was obvious.

MC: Found it?

Shaw: If what the old man taught me wasn’t a jack of all trades and master of none, then it should be there.

Shaw walked to the southwest corner of the room, bent down, and knocked on the wooden floor which made a clear and hollow sound.

In the next second, he quickly pried open the floor and took out an exquisite wooden carving box, in which there was indeed a round porcelain white jade bead.

The sunlight outside the window reflects it brightly, and it wasn't difficult to see the subtle wear marks on it as traces of ancient years.

So with just one glance, you can see that it was completely different from those jade beads on the ground.

MC: So is this an antiquity? It's not the same as the jade I saw on the market.

Shaw: If you are curious, pick it up and have a look.

MC: Can I? This is a cultural relic......

I turned my head in surprise and met those willful eyes.

Shaw: Although it is a cultural relic, it isn't delicate.

Shaw: It has resisted the erosion of a hundred years, and it is more tenacious than we imagined.

As he said, he picked up the jade bead and put it in my hand, and held my palm with his hand.

Shaw: And my master once said this— —

Shaw: “History is not as old as we imagined, as long as you see it, touch it, you will also become a part of history.”

Shaw: However, I don't think he's quite right.

MC: ….hm?

He chuckled and poked my palm with his finger.

Shaw: Man does not become history, because man himself is history.

Shaw: And history is not the distant and obscure existence that people think it is.

Shaw: To an individual, where’s the need for so many heavy meanings -

Shaw: Everything that happened in the past, present, and future has its own history.

Shaw: Unique and cannot be reproduced.

MC: ……

Looking at the heavy jade bead in my hand, I was inexplicably touched.

At this moment, this jade pearl, which has spanned countless years, has become one of my own histories.

Seemingly seeing me in a daze, Shaw gently pinched my cheek.

Shaw: Well, with that out of the way, it's time to get started on your birthday plans.

His eyes flicked around my face in a joking manner, before landing leisurely on my backpack.

Shaw: For the sake of helping me find this Jade bead, I will fully cooperate with all your plans today.

[Section 4]

Shaw: Birthday elements?

After putting away the jade beads, Shaw looked at the notebook in my hand and raised his eyebrows.

MC [cheerfully explains her plan]: That's right.

MC: Now there are a lot of "birthday element" keywords in this book, you can pick any five.

MC: As for me, I will give you a customized birthday party based on the keywords you choose!

Shaw: Oh? Seems interesting.

He opened the "Birthday Elements" book and read page by page— —

With his subtle movements, different words such as "lively", "quiet", "campfire" and "music" flashed one after another.

It wasn't until the end of the last page that he raised his eyebrows and looked at me.

MC: Have you decided which five to choose?

Shaw: Nope.

Shaw: But I intend to make this random surprise even more unexpected.

He closed his eyes as he said, and tore off five pieces of paper blindly. I hurriedly looked over and found that they were— —

"Lively, indoor, party, music, formal dress."

MC: Ok!

Just when I was about to implement the plan according to these words, Shaw raised a familiar smirk again.

Shaw: Wait, I want to add another one.

He tore off another piece of paper with "private" written on it and shook it in his hand.

Shaw [not missing a chance to make things difficult for her]: Make it a little harder for you. That's what makes it more interesting, isn't it?

Seeing his somewhat sly smile, I hummed softly in my heart twice, this man really underestimated me too much.

I have already imagined the preparation plan for all the permutations and combinations of this element book.

Yes ....... I need to contact someone to help me up!

—

MC: Mr. Shaw, please~

Under my pretentious invitation, we both got out of the car and came to a hotel— —

The lines of the singular architecture were sharp and simple, the matte black definitely added a mysterious temperament.

Seeing Shaw's scrutinizing expression, I happily set my sights on his white shirt and black tie.

This is the costume I specially prepared for Shaw after he finished choosing the keywords.

MC: How's that? Did I mention that my preparation is foolproof? Even if you make it extra difficult, it's not a problem.

Shaw: Well, it's a good start.

Shaw: Then, how can I cooperate with you next?

I smiled and held out my hand.

MC: Of course, hold my hand tight and don't let go.

Soon we walked into the lobby, through a long corridor, and came to the door of the banquet hall.

Listening to the rhythmic music coming from inside, my heart that was hanging in the air was completely relieved.

It seems that all the "preparation plans" have caught up.

I raised my eyebrows at Shaw, signaled him to take a look at it, and pushed open the door.

[Shaw's bgm started playing]

The moment we pushed the door, music and many eyes with blessings came to us in unison.

?.?: Yo, the big birthday star is finally here.

Adam standing in the center raised his chin at us, and Jensen and Randal next to him also raised their glasses at us.

Jensen & Randal: Happy birthday Shaw.

Fitch: Happy Birthday.

Fitch put away his phone and nodded toward Shaw. Immediately afterward, other Live House employees also waved to us.

?.?: Shaw, Happy birthday!

?.?: Wish you to get more handsome! Extra handsome to the next level!

(LMAO whoever gave this blessing to Shaw sure has a good eye! This is one of my favorite blessings!)

For a moment, the blessings overshadowed the music, and they came towards us enthusiastically. Shaw glanced at me, with a hint of a smile in his eyes.

Shaw: Well, it is really lively.

MC: That’s right—"lively, indoor, party, music, formal attire, private" nothing missing~

MC: However, the keyword "music" is more than just that.

I raised my chin toward the stage ahead, and three mavericks walked up with musical instruments on their backs.

One red-haired foreign man was extremely conspicuous, in addition to his thick smoky makeup, his lips were also painted with oppressive black.

Shaw [the excitement in his voice]: You also invited them here?

The surprise in Shaw's eyes shone brightly, causing me to half-smile with pleasure.

It's a small indie band that he likes, and I had to do everything I could to get them.

MC: In order for the birthday boy to have a happy day, of course, we have to use our brains.

MC: Of course, the most important thing is that I have a heart for you~

Shaw: Oh? What if I don't pick up these elements, what will happen to them?

MC: Of course, the performance was performed as usual, but it was enjoyed by other predestined people~

Boom— the heavy melody of the drums beating swallowed my last note.

Shaw didn't say anything, just smiled and clasped my palm tightly, moving slightly to the music in a good mood.

The light swayed, and the lawfulness pleasure at the bottom of his eyes poured out unrestrainedly. I also raised the corners of my lips and secretly took out my phone to see the time.

There are three minutes left.

Hope to see a happier look on your face.

Thinking of this, I counted down the time in my heart and took a deep breath at the last second.

Click—

All the lights in front of the eyes were extinguished with the climax of the music, and the cheers of the crowd in the dark became more enthusiastic.

I held Shaw's hand tightly and pulled him to run quickly in the direction away from the crowd.

MC: Shaw, follow me!

The clenched hand seemed to pause for a moment, but soon there was a familiar chuckle.

In the increasingly intense music, we are like two lovers running non-stop in a movie, only feeling each other's heartbeat in the noisy world.

Finally, we were far away from the crowd, and I pulled him to squat down in front of an empty dining table.

MC: Big birthday boy, now it's my turn to give you my blessings.

I smiled and took out a small cake box hidden in advance from under the tablecloth.

After carefully taking it apart, I held the palm-sized cake in my palm and lit the top candle.

The small shimmering light illuminated us, and his golden eyes were especially bright.

Looking at each other, Shaw suddenly smiled.

Shaw [there’s clearly a hint of amusement in his voice]: Oh, now it's time for the "private" element.

MC: Well, this shouldn't count as cheating, right?

Shaw: It does count, but it doesn't matter.

Shaw: You've managed to surprise me.

MC: Of course, you must know that I have made a lot of preparations that you can't imagine.

Shaw: What have you prepared?

Shaw: I'm curious as to what other interesting things I've missed.

I looked at the burning candlelight in front of me, and my voice softened.

MC: As for me... I have prepared countless possibilities.

MC: In these possibilities, we will sit by the sea, and watch the sunset around the campfire;

MC: Will have a candlelight dinner at a high mountain top restaurant;

MC: Or go to have a hot pot meal, after eating and drinking. Then, play games all night together.

MC: All in all, no matter which one you choose, I will try to make the day interesting. Be full of surprises.

MC: — Because you are Shaw, you deserve all the interesting and unique moments.

I looked at the person in front of me sincerely, and my heart was surging repeatedly, wanting to give him all my sincerity at this moment.

MC: In fact, when I heard you say today that people themselves are "history". I am even more sure that I want to make every minute and every second of the present moment unique.

MC: No matter how time passes in the future, no one can change this moment.

MC: Because this is the "history" that belongs to you and me.

After I finished speaking in one breath, I fixed my eyes on the person in front of me.

MC: Shaw, happy birthday.

He smiled recklessly, but the warm yellow candle seemed to blend the casualness and dash into the gentle light.

A rare strand of drowning poured from the bottom of those bright eyes, filling my heart with dots.

Shaw [the softness in his voice]: Fool, that's why you try so hard to celebrate my birthday?

Shaw: If you want me to say, our present is already unique, and no one can match us.

He looked at the candlelight with a bit of softness hidden in his eyes.

Shaw: But I have to admit, this heart, these countless interesting "possibilities"...

Shaw [lowers his voice]: It really does make me more like myself.

I didn't hear what he said, and when I tried to ask, he smiled, showing his familiar joking expression.

Shaw: You know what? It's been said that people can often see through things as to what has happened in the past.

Shaw: It is also possible to see in people what will happen to them in the future.

He came closer to me, his eyes tracing me a little bit. Fragments of light faintly glow in the bottom of his eyes, only reflecting my face.

Shaw: So I see a lot of that in you too.

MC: So what do you see?

Shaw [tries his best to hide his excitement]: Stupid and stubborn.

Shaw: But it often surprises me, and even makes me admire it a bit.

Shaw: This is the future I see.

I couldn't help but laugh and follow his lead.

MC: You seem to see quite accurately, then let me also take a look ~

But before my eyes could settle down for a second, he suddenly blew out the candle and we plunged into embers of darkness.

Shaw [whispers]: I won't let you see it.

Shaw: Wouldn't it be boring to let you know all about it?

MC: What's that?

The soft-touch passed over my lips, and all the feelings in the darkness were magnified and engraved in my heart together.

And his voice slipped out from between his lips.

Shaw: However, one thing is certain about my future.

Shaw [lightly whispers]: And that you’ll continue to be interesting with me.

—

🎉 Call

🎉 Moment

🎉 Epilogue

#this date acts like a therapy after reading his R&S #there are so many things i like about this date from the theme of the date of the date to mc wish for shaw- #to lead a joyful and interesting life since he rightfully deserved one #so many beautiful lines with hidden meanings #and most of all how happy he was at the end after receiving such a mindblowing surprise party #and how he tells the mc there will never be lack of fun in his life as long as she is by his side- #since he sees his future in her #a big round of applause to shaws writers for writing such a master piece!! #mlqc spoilers #mlqc ling xiao #mlqc shaw #mlqc translations #mlqc cn #mr love queen's choice #love and producer

[sukibenders]

Looking back at Girl Meets World, it will forever irritate me especially for how they handled/treated Angela. Oh this show really hated black women because how do you not only 1.) describe her, one of (correct me if I'm wrong) only few black and MAIN characters of the og show, as a "concept" 2.) have characters show obvious disgust at the small mention of her name 3.) depict her as a homewrecker for a new relationship that, really, shouldn't have ever happened 4.) have her old friends treat her like dirt and her old lover like she is the root of his problems, when there was nothing but positive love there 5.) reuse all the concepts from said previous love story just to elevate the new ship with a yte woman and 6.) compare her to Hurricane Katrina, one of the deadliest hurricanes that caused significant numbers of death, harm, misplacement, and trauma to people, largely of whom were black? Mind you, all these points I mentioned were toward the only main black character of the OG show before the spinoff, and the only, from what I can remember, black female character of the spinoff who didn't even stay long. Not even getting into the racist drama with some of the members on set, but you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that the way the show handled Angela, her story, and her relationship with the other characters + Shawn wasn't fucking disrespectful, you can't because I won't believe you.

#boy meets world #girl meets world #like this show had so many issues (from its depiction of autism to religious intolerance to supporting grooming) #but this was a whole other level #it was especially hurtful as a young black girl to see growing bc i really tried to like this show with its lacking diversity #but coming from watching bmw to this a show from the 90s that depicted a black character better than a 2010s show- u get my point #and its so wrong bc it depicts angela as being the one to end the relationship when all she said in bmw how she #didn't want to see her leaving as a goodbye and there was ambiguous hope for the future #also shoving shawn to be with maya's mom was really unnecessary #not only bc of how it depicted being raised in a single parent household so negatively #but that the only way to solve maya's problems was for her...to have a dad? like that really isn't how it works #i blissfully live in the delulu where angela and shawn came back together once she left europe and he eventually married her #after they graduated college and have a beautiful family together #shawn x angela #don't even get me started on how whenever there was a guest cameo it was met audience applause and happy reactions #but when it was for angela: crickets 😬 #back to maya- i feel like it would have been better for her story if shawn didn't marry her mother (and was with angela) and u would see her #hope and wish for the opposite to where it nearly consumes her only to finally be sat down and informed that #even if shawn isn't with your mom he'll still be in your life as a father figure no matter what #i personally feel like that would've been better #but this is largely just s rant so forgive the structure of it al

[ryanthel0ser]

"but Vergil and Dante are identical twins they should have the same face mode-" shhhhhhhhhhhhhhshshhshshshhshshhhhhh

you cannot tell me that their face models aren't perfect. Like that IS Dante, that IS Vergil. The problem lies in that if you switch their faces it doesn't fit their characters. We can kinda see this when Dante does his taunt where he slicks his hair back so tease Vergil, his face model doesn't really work for Vergil.

So while they aren't identical, the Capcom team DID do a good job at finding face that look like they could be related. While Dante and Vergil may not be identical, they do still look like brothers, so you just have to have a suspension of disbelief for it!

#this is devil may cry after all we have enough wacky stuff that pretending they're identical seems reasonable #also applause to the people who chose the models for Nero Eva and V #cause they are also meant to look like Dante and Vergil to an extent #like V is meant to look closer to Eva because he's Vergil's humanity so of course he'd look more like his mom #and Nero is Vergil's kid so obviously he has to look like the guy #I just know there was a team sweating blood and tears getting the perfect face models and I applaud them #dmc5 #dmc #dmc dante #dmc vergil #devil may cry

[cometnoodle]

that reaction when your partner in destiny tries to chuck themselves of the cliff

#fire emblem #fire emblem three hopes #fire emblem warriors three hopes #few3h #fewth #fe arval #arval #digital art #art #fanart #my art #artist on tumblr #shitpost #can we have a round of applause for arval keeping shez dumbass alive after awakening in their mind #i bet when arval was formed all there was in shez was the void #until they decorated it with debris

[iced-souls]

So i watched guardians of the galaxy Vol 3 yesterday, and i am going to speak about it now so

be warned there may be SPOILERS FOR GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 3 BELOW if you don’t wan’t that

So swoosh on past this if now if ya don’t want that.

Anywhizzle

I FUCKING LOVED IT SO GODDAMN MUCH.

AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Top 3 things, the choreography (i think thats what you call it)— ESPECIALLY in this one scene where they’re all fighting a bunch of dudes in a hallway— it looks so good. The music, obviously, especially the one in the trailer, everytime i hear that song now I’m gonna get flashbacked to this movie and there will be a 50-50 percent chance that i will start crying again—.

And then the characters. GOD DAMN THE CHARACTERS.

OUGH GUYS

I LOVE FLOOR SO GODAMN MUCH.

Oh and rocket, floor, teefs, and Lylla’s friendship i cherish so much

I love floors happy dances and their absolute gremlin energy.

I drew them all. I love them so much here:

God i drew them looking at the sky too because that’s what happened and they’re all happy together and nothing else happened.

I’ll put that drawing in another post

Oh my god and my sibling gave the realization about draxums ending to the movie, which is when he’s saying goodbye to mantis and then she leaves while he goes and starts dancing with everyone else. But he cries a little when she leaves. And it’s probably cause the circumstance is the same way he met his wife, where everyone else was dancing except for her.

Oh and then mantis’s last scene i gotta say she looked frickin epic, literally that one character in game of thrones with the 3 dragons. Except instead of dragons it’s giant rainbow spitting space octopus things.

Imma stop talking now before a ramble about every other little thing i loved but i have to say that it has been brought into my top 3 movies. Along side the Mitchell’s vs the machines and rottmnt movie.

#GOD I LOVE YOU FLOOR. #THE CREATURE EVER #the movie theater gave an applause after and it was deserved. #have a good day #guardians of the galaxy #my drawings #floor #rocket raccoon #lylla otter #teefs #you know that song i said i had in my head that was giving me many papyrus animatics? #yeah well its know giving me papyrus animatics AND rocket raccoon animatics.

[foxymoxynoona]

After the Applause (Ch. 4)

Header and linebreaks by @awrkives

Single Dad Jimin x Female OC

SUMMARY: Jimin doesn't know how he would have made it this far after the shattering of his world without the support of his thoughtful, generous, helpful neighbor. Hanbyul has lived next to hottie Jimin and his adorable daughter for years now, long enough to remember the wife he was so devoted to and lost far too young. With each safely ensconced on their side of the brick wall of the Parks' grief, it will take an enterprising little scientist to set the stage for a second chance at love.

CW: grief, prior loss of spouse/parent, comfort, explicit sex, secondhand embarrassment

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Hanbyul sulked on the foot of her bed, feet underneath her pillow and a blanket cocooned around her body as she clicked through suggestions on her dating app. She narrowed her eyes unhappily at each of the three profiles the app recommended for her today. She didn’t like any of them. Well, she might have liked them at another time, she wasn’t really giving them a fair shake, but right now she had really just hoped that looking through them would cause Namjoon’s ears to burn and he’d finally respond to her last message.

Well actually, her last four messages…

She groaned and buried her face in the crook of her arm. Her sister had already poured salt on her wound of humiliation at having sent Namjoon four messages without any response. It was mortifying. She felt like an idiot, only overshadowed by the misery of oh my god he’s ghosting me he’s done with me. Their last date, date number three, had gone really well, she thought! But that was a week ago and there’d been no response since. 

Holding her phone had the added benefit of ensuring she would see the second he messaged if he did. Not that she was hoping he would, obviously! This was the 21st century and a girl did not let a guy just disappear on her and then forgive it when he suddenly messaged her again! Unless there was a good reason. Maybe he had a good reason. Maybe he was in the hospital, or his mom was, and then she would totally forgive him. She was a very understanding person!

But what if he was playing hard to get? She hated that it might be working, even if she didn’t want to admit it. She’d liked him on their dates but would not have expected to feel his silence so loudly until confronted with it. Was this what they meant about absence making the heart grow fonder? Was the injustice of him ignoring her actually making her feel more strongly about their connection, one he could so easily and carelessly sever?

In the meantime as she did-but-didn’t wait for him to message her back, Hanbyul perused the dating apps again in an effort to reassure herself that even if Namjoon was tired of her, there were more frogs in the pond. She preferred that phrasing to there are more fish in the sea since, like her neighbor, she had an aversion to seafood. 

It wasn’t weird to know that about your neighbor, right? She cooked for them sometimes! Not that she went out of her way to cater to his preferences but if she just happened to be making something she thought he’d like, she would share it, and it was convenient that their opinions on seafood aligned. 

She sighed at her own lack of interest in the app’s recommendations and decided to plunge into a free-browse. The concept of finding someone to date based on a few photos and answers to mundane questions seemed impossible, but she supposed that’s how it always started. If you really got to know people first, that would limit her dating pool to…

Well, to a very small rain puddle.

Speaking of very small worlds, her eyebrows raised in surprise when a person familiar in name only showed at the top of her browsing when sorting by distance: Jeon Jungkook. 

Curiosity got the better of her and she opened his profile. Just to put a face to the name! Now she recognized him as a person she had seen entering or leaving the building opposite her a few times. His photos were mostly selfies, either at the gym or with dogs, except for one of him with Taehyung, Jimin, and another man who seemed vaguely familiar.  

She’d just started to read his profile –out of curiosity, nothing else!-- when a new message alert popped onto her screen.

[Jeon Jungkook]: hey

[Jeon Jungkook]: neighbor Ko Hanbyul!

Hanbyul let out a startled gasp and dropped her phone and looked around, expecting he could somehow see her right now. Did the app know when you were on someone’s profile page?! She’d certainly never gotten any alerts that someone was checking her out. Oh god did that mean no one ever checked her out?!

[Ko Hanbyul]: Hello family friend Jeon Jungkook

[Jeon Jungkook]: youve heard of me 😎 

[Jeon Jungkook]: how are you doing this cold night? Winter or spring right now what is it

Hanbyul sat up and leaned against the wall. It felt weird to be talking to Jimin’s friend. Very weird. And he seemed so immediately comfortable with her, which she didn’t understand considering they’d never even met in person. He must be a naturally charming person. She envied that about him. Were all of Jimin’s friends charming just like he was? God, she really could never belong there. Would Jimin think she was trying to force her way in if he knew she was talking to Jungkook?! 

But they were just talking! It wasn’t like they were going on a date. She wasn’t going to go on a date with one of Jimin’s closest friends! It felt rude not to answer him though when he was being friendly, and he was a friend of a friend. Friend of a neighbor.

[Ko Hanbyul]: it’s early spring and I like the cold. You?

[Jeon Jungkook]: yeah I like winter best but I dont think this is spring there are more than four seasons

[Jeon Jungkook]: our schools lie to make it easy to learn but dont you think there are more seasons in a year? 

Hanbyul’s mouth twisted into a grin. Ok, he was an interesting guy. 

[Ko Hanbyul]: what are the other seasons?

[Jeon Jungkook]: hm

[Jeon Jungkook]: rainy season, allergy season, mosquito season, sweatshirt season, the busy season

[Ko Hanbyul]: busy season for what?

[Jeon Jungkook]: everyone has a busy season everyone always says that

[Jeon Jungkook]: right? Its our busy season. 

[Jeon Jungkook]: unless your Jiminie

[Jeon Jungkook]: then busy season is every month before a show right? Kekeke

The mention of Jimin flustered Hanbyul, gave her that twinge like she was betraying Jimin somehow because probably Jungkook was flirting with her. That’s why he’d messaged, right? Was she flirting back? She genuinely didn’t know. He was awfully handsome, maybe it was too much to think he was flirting with her.

But at the same time, Jimin wasn’t interested in her at all, so what was she being faithful to? A crush? And anyway, it was just a conversation!

[Ko Hanbyul]: when is your busy season?

There, impeccable flirting. Smooth as dirt.

[Jeon Jungkook]: nah not me i do screenprinting i work for a clothing company so its always busy

[Ko Hanbyul]: oh! That’s interesting!

[Jeon Jungkook]: its not but ok kekeke thanks 😉

[Jeon Jungkook]: do you have a favorite t shirt? 

It was such an off-the-wall question, though she supposed relevant to his career. Conversation with him flowed easily like that, bouncing from one topic to another. Sometimes he’d go quiet for a bit but then he’d be back with some other new topic just as Hanbyul started to set the phone down. Almost an hour passed in this way before he surprised her further.

[Jeon Jungkook]: yeah, you seem cool

[Ko Hanbyul]: Thank you, you too! Jimin was right to say that about you

The second she sent it, she cringed. Referring to Jimin so familiarly! And after talking to his friend on a dating app for an hour! It was a faux pas in every direction and all she could do was cover her face as Jungkook responded.

[Jeon Jungkook]: he said good things about me huh? Tell me every single one

But Hanbyu was cringing too hard, and worried now that this might be leading to Jungkook asking her out. Did she want to go on a date with Jungkook?! Ah, maybe he was only being polite because she was the neighbor of his friend but their conversation had seemed pretty flirty! He was charming and handsome. He wasn’t Jimin, but Jimin didn’t want her and Namjoon didn’t want her so maybe…. But what if she just was always longing for Jimin? That would be a terrible thing to do to Jungkook!

[Ko Hanbyul]: Sounds like you and Park Jimin need a heart to heart

[Jeon Jungkook]: after this convo i think your right

What did that mean?! Hanbyul tried to think of something to say back, but Hudu was at the front door, jingling the bells that he wanted to go out. 

“Use the potty mat!” she called, but Hudu hated the potty mat and honestly she hated it too. Plus she could use some air. There was nothing for it but to slip her phone in her pocket, bundle her and the pup up, and head out.

They weren’t alone in the hall though. At almost the same time she opened her door, the Park door opened down the hall, and out stepped the very man she was messaging, Sun-young bundled up beside him.

For a moment they just froze and looked at each other with surprise, until Sun-young shouted a greeting and Hudu started to do a dance that had Hanbyul worried he was going to pee in the hallway with excitement at seeing Sun-young.

“I’m taking my dog out,” she explained, no other greeting preceding it as she started quickly down the hall.

Jungkook snickered and motioned, “Yeah, me too. I mean, my niece.”

“What? I’m not a dog! And I don’t need to pee outside,” Sun-young said with a dramatic eyeroll. “Hi, unnie. We’re going to get churros.”

“Oooh.”

She pushed the elevator button and bit back the endeared smile. Churros. That was pretty cute.

“So you’re…” She stopped herself before saying babysitting, knowing Sun-young would hate that.

“Yeah, uh, I’m hanging out with Sunbun tonight.”

“We’re watching Sailor Moon from the very beginning,” Sun-young told her. “Do you like that show? Did you have it when you were a little girl or are you too old?”

“Hey! I’m not that old,” Hanbyul cried and playfully scowled at her. 

“I know, you’re younger than Appa.”

“She’s my age,” Jungkook answered and for a moment Hanbyul forgot it said her birth year on her profile. She hadn’t remembered his year, although she did remember he was born in September. “So, did you watch Sailor Moon growing up?”

“Yes…” Hanbyul answered. They all stepped into the open elevator together and Hudu sniffed around Jungkook’s feet as Sun-young stooped to scratch his head.

Jungkook grinned and demanded, “Why are you answering like it’s a trap?”

“Oh, I didn’t admit it before, but one of my favorite t-shirts when I was younger was a Sailor Moon shirt, actually.” It was the truth, but it made him laugh so hard she thought he must not believe her. She laughed too because he had a very infectious laugh.  

“Do you still have it?”

“It would be too small now!”

“Eh, small shirts can look good,” he shrugged. She didn’t miss the way he cocked his head or pressed his tongue between his lips. Did he mean in general, or on her specifically?! That had to be flirting…

Sun-young suddenly stood up in between them, her eyes narrowed and sliding back and forth from Hanbyul to Jungkook in such a suspicious way that Hanbyul took a step closer to the wall. She felt caught, like she’d truly been doing something wrong and now Sun-young was witnessing it. She braced herself for whatever was going to come out of the girl’s mouth as she put her hands on her hips.

“Hey. Do you know each other? I thought you said you didn’t know who Uncle Tae and Uncle Jungkook are…”

“Yeah, we know each other,” Jungkook answered first, in a way that sounded so much guiltier. The way he said it sounded like it meant way more than we just started talking on a dating app an hour ago. Oh god and they’d been talking the whole hour… but it was just friendly! Platonic! Right?!

Sun-young turned to Jungkook and demanded, “Aren’t you dating that lady at the cafe?!”

The elevator doors opened and Hanbyul leapt out, but Hudu suddenly wanted to take his time and stick by Sun-young’s side. Even pulled on the leash to stay put!

Jungkook’s laugh echoed around the apartment lobby as he insisted, “What do you know about that? I’m not dating her. I mean, I went on a date with her but… ah, you’ll understand when you’re older.”

“You never say that to me,” Sun-young frowned.

“Sorry but this one time I’m going to say it. I don’t have to tell you every woman I talk to or date!”

“But now you’re dating…” Sun-young turned her narrowed eyes towards Hanbyul, whose face could not have felt more on fire. This was as bad as when Sun-young asked her why she didn’t just date Jimin. No, worse, because there was a witness to the mortification!  

“A man and a woman can talk,” Jungkook insisted. “It doesn’t mean they’re dating.”

“And they can date… but it doesn’t mean they’re dating either?” Sun-young tried to puzzle out. 

“No no, there’s a difference between talking and going on a date and dating and… hey, why don’t you talk to your dad about this kind of thing?”

“About if you’re dating unnie?”

“Aish,” Jungkook hissed through his teeth and gave Hanbyul a charming, amused grin. “You run, I’m going to distract her with churros. Can’t ask questions if your mouth is full of churro!”

Hanbyul desperately wanted to know what was going to be explained here but also desperately didn’t want any part of it. They were just talking! It felt like a betrayal of Jimin and yet what was there to betray? Jimin didn’t want her! Besides, Jungkook had just said they were just talking…. But he’d said it to a nine-year-old, maybe he was just being vague… Or maybe he didn’t want to date, there were other things a man and woman could do. Like talking sure, or… Jungkook was a handsome man! No Jimin, but then, who was? Maybe he wasn’t the sort to date, just to sleep around. Hanbyul had never really done the sleeping around thing but she could really use some sex. Sex would be a positive addition to her life. She couldn’t find her vibrator lately; maybe it was under the bed but she was scared to look and hadn’t bought a new one yet…

Sun-young’s little face turned up and Hanbyul just barely heard her say, “I don’t think you should talk to Unnie so much.”

Oh geez, what was Jungkook going to say to that?! But Hudu chose that moment to give in to her tug towards the door; he took off as if he suddenly remembered his bladder, and she sure didn’t want to clean up a puddle in the lobby, so off they ran. And so she would never know what else Jungkook said.

She was too embarrassed to say anything to Jungkook on the messenger app for the rest of the night. Embarrassed and unsure what to say if Jungkook did ask her out on a date or invite her over for sex. Although she did check later that night, just to make sure he hadn’t messaged her either…

Wha, what was she thinking?! Men did not just invite Hanbyul over for sex! Definitely not men like Jungkook, or Jimin, or Taehyung for that matter… Or Namjoon…

“Hudu, we’re going to die alone together, I hope that’s ok with you,” she sighed, and decided to take the long way around the park. 

The seats were pretty high up but the best he’d been able to afford. Still more than he had planned to spend right now, nowhere close to Sunnie’s birthday, but when he’d heard from Hoseok, who’d heard from this dancer who knew that dancer who was one of the principals, that Mango Crush was about to announce an unexpected concert for reasons Jimin didn’t remember or care about, he’d already decided to by the tickets before Sun-young even came running from school screaming about it. He’d been prepared for her cries of disbelief when he’d agreed that yes, they could go. He’d been prepared for her surprise when he rattled off the exact time they would go on sale that night and showed her his alarm so he wouldn’t miss it.

He had not been prepared for her to beg, “Can Hanbyul-unnie go with us? Please?!”

He’d tried to keep his face neutral at the instant hurt. Of course his daughter would rather go see a girl-group with a female friend. Hanbyul was a fan, she knew the lyrics and everything. Part of loving his daughter was letting her grow and replace him and he wasn’t going to cry about it until he was alone in his room later maybe.

“Oh, you’d rather go with Hanbyul?” he’d asked carefully to give himself a moment to think.

“Yes, all three of us!”

He’d been so relieved that Sun-young still wanted him along that he’d bought three tickets without further argument, without even talking to Hanbyul about it first. Then he’d worried about how awkward it would be to ask his neighbor if she’d like to go to a kpop concert with him and his daughter, but Sun-young had run ahead and by the time he’d joined them at Hanbyul’s door, she’d already graciously accepted the invitation. She begged Jimin to let him pay for her own ticket, which he had refused, because for a moment he felt so cool in front of his daughter.

“I know the seats aren’t very good,” Jimin apologized to Hanbyul over Sun-young’s head as she searched for the power button on the flashy Mango stick. Hanbyul had brought one for each of them

Hanbyul actually laughed, “They’re fine! Haven’t you been to a concert recently? The music reaches you anywhere and we can see the stage straight ahead. You did great!”

Jimin flushed at the unexpected praise, then chalked her kind words up to excitement. He had half expected Hanbyul only came along to be a good sport for Sun-young, which in and of itself would have meant so much to him. But she leaned in close to show Sun-young where the switch was, and turned her own on, and the two of them shouted and cheered as they waved them in the air along with everyone else. But he didn’t think either that she’d only come for personal enjoyment of the concert, either, because every step of the way so far, her attention had been focused so joyfully and sincerely on Sun-young. It was like she really wanted to be here with them. It made JImin feel really good about all this.  

“It’s my first concert ever!” Sun-young squealed.

“What?! Then I’m even more glad I brought the Mango Sticks!” Hanbyul cheered. “I’ll buy you a t-shirt too, ok? I still have the t-shirt from my first concert! I was about your age too. My friend’s mom took us.”

“Who was it?” Jimin immediately demanded. He knew so little about Hanbyul’s childhood, or her private life, or really anything at all. What kind of girl had she been? He found himself wanting to know.

“Baby V.O.X.”

“Ah, I know them!”

“Personally?!”

“No no, I know of them, I remember them,” he admitted. “I thought you would name some super secret cool band I’ve never heard of, but they were popular.”

Hanbyul gave him an indecipherable look and laughed, “Do I seem like I’m into anything secret and cool? I like popular things just like anyone else.”

“Well I don’t know many famous people,” he shared his own confession.

“I think of you as knowing everyone.”

“No no, why would I know famous people?” He thought it was ridiculous. Yes, he knew some famous dancers, but Hanbyul wouldn’t know who any of those people were. “Well, I’ve done choreography for some idol groups but not the big ones, they tend to have their own choreographers.”

“That’s really cool though! We should go to a concert for one of those groups,” she suggested, eyes sparkling.

��I don’t know them well enough to get tickets!”

“It’s ok, I’ll buy the tickets next time.”

“Yay, more concerts!” Sun-young cheered, then grabbed Jimin’s arm as the lights flickered. “IT’S STARTING!”

Jimin took her hand and she didn’t even pull it away, just raised his hand and her Mango Stick in the other to join the shouts as Mango Crush took the stage.

“Can you name them yet?” Hanbyul asked, leaning close and repeating it when Jimin couldn’t hear. She had to get close to his ear, her warm breath tickling the side of his neck.

“Yes,” he scoffed and rattled them off because obviously he had done some quick studying so he wouldn’t sound like a total idiot to Sun-young. Hanbyul stared at his lips, as if really closely testing his accuracy.

“Now which is which?” she shouted, gesturing towards the stage where little ants in sparkly costumes danced around. The massive screens behind the stage showed them closer and it was Eujin… or maybe Hana… Adda? No, that one was Violet…

Ok, they weren’t that far away, the venue wasn’t that big for such a quickly pulled together concert. He could easily see all nine of them. But still. Their hair colors were all different than the pictures he’d seen so he was toast.

“Shit, she changed her hair,” he said, overly loud, and Hanbyul laughed. It was the music that made Jimin smile so big. Live music was infectious! Even if you were a little tired of the songs because you’d been listening to them nonstop for the past week to try and learn the lyrics before the concert with your daughter.

Hanbyul’s attention shifted to Sun-young as Jimin’s daughter dropped his hand to take hers, and they sang the words together, loud and adorably off-key but swallowed in the mass of voices around the venue. He couldn't remember the lyrics at all in the moment.

It was the third song before they performed one Jimin knew well enough to shout along to. Sun-young’s eyes got so big and she laughed with her whole body and grabbed his hand again and waved her Mango Stick thing and Jimin knew every minute of listening to their music and every won spent on the tickets had been worth it. 

He shared a smile with Hanbyul over Sun-young’s head, and then Hanbyul covered her face shyly. He worried she thought he was laughing at how much she enjoyed the concert but no, it made him very happy that she did! He didn’t see how to explain that in a shout over the noise though so he just turned back to the music and only watched her out of the corner of his eye as she and Sun-young sang their hearts out.

We’ve only got one life  So let’s live it loud  Take up the space we were meant for Hands up, sing it proud: This world is ours!

*********

The show ended later than Jimin had expected, but Sun-young complained about being hungry on the way home so they stopped at Yoongi’s noodle place because it was open, close to home, and cheap. He insisted on paying for Hanbyul’s noodles too, after she had insisted on buying so much merch for Sun-young. All the rules were out the window tonight, so he might as well let Sun-young sit up until midnight to eat noodles in her Mango Crush shirt with her Mango Crush headband.

The shop was mostly empty this time fo night, so once their food was ready, Yoongi came to visit. Sun-young was so excited telling him about the show that her noodles got cold; no matter how many times Jimin encouraged her to eat, she could barely get a bite in before she needed to tell Yoongi something, or ask Hanbyul if she remembered this, or insist Jimin tell him her favorite outfit or whatever. 

Only after she finally stopped to catch her breath did Yoongi say, “Nice to meet you, by the way. I think you’re Ko Hanbyul?”

With a gasp, Jimin realized he’d missed the introduction and apologized, “Yes, yes, Ko Hanbyul, and this is my friend Min Yoongi. I forgot you haven’t met my friends.”

“I’m meeting them more lately, it seems,” she said, which felt cryptic somehow. Did she just mean because she’d spent that afternoon over with Taehyung and now met Yoongi? That didn’t seem remarkable… “It’s nice to meet you,” she continued on. “And great to meet the owner of this place, I get noodles here all the time.”

“Thank you for keeping us in business.”

Yoongi seemed to be pointedly ignoring Jimin’s look because why had Yoongi said her name first?! Why hadn’t he just asked who she was? He realized now it would make it seem like he had talked about her, which he had but not in a nefarious way!

“Yoongi and I go way back,” Jimin explained to keep Hanbyul from feeling uncomfortable. “I helped him meet his wife! She’s an incredibly talented ballet dancer–”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“I hosted the party where you met.”

“So when you come here on a date, I’ll take the credit?”

Jimin flinched. It wasn’t all right to make that kind of a joke in front of Sun-young –or Hanbyul for that matter!

Trying to salvage it, he insisted, “Why would I bring someone here on a date? You think I can’t take someone somewhere nicer?”

“Well now you’re just insulting me,” Yoongi laughed. “What’s wrong with here for a date?”

“I think it’s nice here,” Hanbyul readily agreed. And now Jimin felt like an asshole.

“I just meant for a first date, you take someone to a really nice place! This is where I bring someone when– no, why are we talking about this?” he broke off, realizing this was a completely inappropriate conversation to have in front of his daughter. He broke out into a cold sweat and insisted, “I’m not dating anyone, Sunnie, don’t worry.”

“We already knew unnie before we brought her here,” Sun-young informed Yoongi. 

“Oh, is this a date?” Yoongi asked, with a particular sparkle lighting up in his eyes that made Jimin want to strangle him in cold blood.

“No,” “No,” Jimin and Hanbyul said at the same time Sun-young said, “Yes.”

“What do you think a date is?” Jimin asked, realizing there must be a misunderstanding here. 

“I know what a date is,” she smiled and instead of saying anything further, asked, “Appa, what was your first concert?”

Yoongi snickered at the way Jimin flustered and reeled, trying to catch up, not sure what to correct or explain. He glanced at Hanbyul in the hopes she would say something elegant but she just shoved a mouthful of noodles in, and then caught his eye and it was obvious she didn’t want to answer. He wasn’t sure which of them started laughing first but when she choked on her noodles he reached out to pound on her back.

“I’ll leave you to it. Mochi is on me when you’re done,” Yoongi offered and disappeared like a disruptive shadow.

Sunnie was waiting for an answer though, like she couldn’t even hear her dad and neighbor laughing, and repeated, “Who was your first concert, Appa? How old were you?”

“Uh… ok, you’re all right now? Hm, I think it was Super Junior. I was older… fifteen? Sixteen? I saw dance troops before that but I think that was my first concert.”

“Oh! Is that why the blonde hair?” Hanbyul asked. Then grimaced and explained, “I mean… they had blonde hair, didn’t they?”

“Are you asking if I dye my hair to look like a member of a k-pop group I saw twenty years ago?”

“Um…” Hanbyul’s eyes look very wide.

“No!” he laughed. “This is my natural color!”

“He’s lying! He dyes it every six weeks but he won’t let me dye my hair,” Sun-young tattled, as if Hanbyul might not know he was in fact not a natural blonde. 

“Your hair is perfect, I don’t want you to bake it.”

“What color do you want it to be?” Hanbyul asked her.

“Hm… white.”

“White!” Jimin repeated.

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“Not all white. Some black and some white.”

“Like a zebra?” Jimin screwed his face up.

“It’s cool, Appa.”

“I’m out of style on what’s cool,” he confessed to Hanbyul. As soon as he said it, he knew it would annoy Sun-young. “I just decide what I want to do for my style and do it.”

“That’s cool too,” Hanbyul assured him. 

Sun-young beamed, “When I get older I’ll dye my hair, ok?”

“Ok, maybe,” he conceded. “I just don’t want you to burn it and then it all falls out.”

“Your hair isn’t falling out.”

“Eh…” he grimaced.

“I think it’s ok if we’re bald together,” Sun-young decided. “If we at least had fun getting there.” Jimin’s heart thumped and he didn’t know what to say. Was he a sap that hearing his daughter say that melted him into silence in an instant?

“That’s quite profound,” Hanbyul said with a warm smile that made him feel like she understood too. She didn’t think he was a sap for being affected by that.

“What does profound mean?”

“Very wise. But if you want white stripes, maybe you can do tie-ins first and it won’t damage your hair?”

Sun-young grinned, “I think you are very profound too, unnie. Right, Appa?”

“Sure, sure. Except when she’s accusing me of trying to look like an idol from twenty years ago…”

“Is that bad?” Hanbyul asked and looked sincerely concerned.

He tried to look upset but couldn’t maintain it for long and admitted, “No, actually I think it’s flattering… but I don’t think I can admit my style is twenty years out of date!”

“No, you have a really good style! Contemporary!”

“It’s ok,” Sun-young conceded. Jimin couldn’t thank her, he laughed so hard at her slight compliment. She must have meant it to be funny though because she giggled too, and Hanbyul laughed and–

And it was just very easy. It was just a very easy, good night, one of the best ones Jimin could remember having in a fucking long time. He didn’t know what to do with that, how much joy he felt just sitting in a noodle shop late at night with his daughter and his neighbor. Was it just post-concert fumes? But he thought it was more than that, and he didn’t know how to hold onto that feeling, but he wanted to.

The feel-good glow of the concert lasted less than a week. Tuesday Sun-young complained of a headache to get out of solo practice with Hoseok but then didn’t have too much of a headache to sneak the house phone into her room to call Ginam. Wednesday Sun-young had a poor attitude at her ballet class; Jimin could see it in the way Young-geul carefully chose her words in describing Sunnie’s progress in the ensemble choreography for the recital. Jimin expected she’d perk up for hip hop rehearsal on Thursday, seeing as she’d begged so hard for that class in the first place.

Instead he had to go into the school again to fetch her when she didn’t come out. At least she wasn’t off in a hidden science room melting lab tables or anything; he found her walking at an actual glacier’s pace through the school hallway. As slowly and meticulously placing one foot in front of the other as if this were a choreographed routine –except it wasn’t. She had a class to get to!

“What are you doing!?” he cried. “Let’s go!”

“I am going.”

“Like a snail,” he scolded and reached for her arm. She pulled away and gave him a scathing glare. “Don��t look at me like that. It’s your hiphop class!”

“I know.”

“So let’s go, we don’t want to be late.”

“I do…” she mumbled.

“Park Sun-young. To disrespect your teacher and the other dancers in the class– you wouldn’t do that. What’s gotten into you this week? Didn’t we have a fun weekend?”

“Yes,” she pouted. “But it doesn’t mean I want to go to dance class. I’d rather…”

“Rather what?” he asked when she just trailed off. Not that it mattered. He got behind her and nudged her along and she at least took slightly bigger, quicker steps. Not that her answer mattered. Yeah, sometimes he felt like doing something besides dancing too, but discipline was an important lesson! “You become a better dancer by putting in the effort even on days you don’t feel like it,” he said, pretty sure a teacher had said that to him when he was younger as well. Although not at her age. He wished he had been dancing at her age, but he hadn’t gathered the money, freetime, and bravery needed to give dance a try until middle school, and then a day in which he didn’t want to dance was rare. He knew what a blessing it was to be excused from the family rice cake shop to go dance. 

“I’d rather be sleeping I guess,” she grumbled. “I’m tired. I don’t feel good. I can walk home by myself and you can go to your class.”

“Absolutely not.”

“But Appa…”

He pressed his hand to her perfectly normal looking and feeling face, then the back of her neck, then reached for her wrist to feel her pulse. Not that he could really read a pulse, but it succeeded in calling her bluff.

“Appa, stoooop.”

“You’re fine. Now let’s go.”

“I can walk home with Boyeon–”

“Everyone’s already gone! The school is empty and we’re going to be late!”

“No, Boyeon is still in the science lab, I can go–”

Science. Science.

“Walk. Now.” Jimin’s voice had an edge to it, one which Sun-young rarely heard and took seriously when she did. Her head drooped but she moved her feet finally and the two of them hauled ass through the city to get to the dance studio. 

As they got closer to the studio though, Sun-young began to bounce and shuffle, clearly nervous.

“What is it now, Sunnie?” he sighed, at least trying to sound gentler. “Do you need to go potty?”

“Appa! I’m nine, I don’t say potty. And no!”

“Then what’s the problem?” he asked. He held the door for her to slide past him into the building, but there she stopped even though her class was up on the next floor.

“I… I forgot my dance stuff.”

“You’re holding your dance bag,” he said, eyes narrowed suspiciously. His tongue poked the inside of his cheek to keep himself from snapping out anything else; he was baffled why she would lie about something so obviously untrue.

She nodded and didn’t meet his eyes, “I know but um… it’s my ballet stuff. I forgot my hiphop clothes.”

“Well you can just dance in…” But she wore her school uniform and slightly heeled loafers, not at all appropriate for a hiphop dance class. Besides, he didn’t believe her, her dance bag was right there on her shoulder and he’d never heard of her separating out her gear before. “What are you talking about? Your dance bag– oof, why is it so heavy?” he demanded as he slipped it off her shoulder. 

“It’s nothing– Appa, don’t! Appa!”

He ignored her protest and grabby hands as he let the bag thunk to the ground and crouched to unzip. 

Her smaller ballet bag was in there, sure enough, shoes and all, but instead of her dance shoes and gym clothes for hiphop class, five books took up the space instead. He only saw titles for two (Astrophysics for Young People in a Hurry by Neil Degrasse Tyson and a book about tornadoes eloquently titled TORNADOS!) before admitting,

“I’m confused. Why do you have so many books in your dance bag instead of–”

“They were due at the library today and I forgot to turn them in.”

“Well what’s in your backpack then?” he asked. Before guessing, “More books? You forgot to return all these books– then get another bag! Why didn’t you bring your dance stuff? You know you have hiphop today!”

“I know! But I thought– I hoped maybe– I don’t know!” she cried and looked as if she might be on the verge of really crying.

Jimin breathed out through his nose, brain scrambling to figure out what to do. Late library books (and there seemed to be a lot) were going to have fines he didn’t want to pay. Sure it was only a small fine per book, but it was the principle of the matter. Sun-young shouldn’t be late returning books! And she shouldn’t be late to dance class, or showing up without her things! He knew for a fact they didn’t have a spare pair of shoes in her size and he didn’t want her dancing in the studio without shoes; the last thing she needed right now was a broken toenail or bruised ankle. He didn’t understand how she’d made such a mess of something so easy and routine.

“Ok,” he decided. “You go get started with warmups. I’m going to run home and get your dance shoes and bring them here, then I’ll take these books back to the school library for you. I can do all that before my class– Sunnie, why didn’t you just say about the books while we were still in your school?”

“I don’t know… I didn’t want you to know I have them…”

“They’re books, not cocaine.”

“They’re science books, it might as well be the same thing to you!” she defended hotly.

Jimin fought hard not to roll his eyes. She was being ridiculous! Just because he didn’t want her throwing away her dance career at the fresh age of nine didn’t mean she was banned from consuming science! In fact, reading science books was perfect, because she could do that around her dance classes!

“Just go warm up,” he sighed. “Tell them I’ll be back with your stuff as quick as I can.” It would be faster if he took a cab but it was such a waste of money for such a ridiculous mistake.

Sun-young scurried away and Jimin scurried the opposite direction, her backpack and useless dance bag both strapped to him so he could jog. 

He was winded and sweaty by the time he got back to their apartment, and in no mood for the way Sun-young had tossed her shoes and typical dance clothes in the corner, wadded up. This wasn’t how he’d raised her at all! He shoved them into the bag with an angry huff –and only now realized that since he had to go all the way back to the studio to give them to her, he should have just left the books there instead of lugging them all the way home. Fuck! Her scrambled brain was making his brain scrambled too!

He gave himself a minute only to grab a drink from the kitchen and catch his breath. Then, in leaving the apartment, had the idea that maybe he could ask Hanbyul to drop off the books. Fuck, except it was only 4pm and she didn’t get home until after 5. 

And yet in passing her door, he could have sworn he heard voices right beside it. In a moment of weakness, he paused and leaned in close. It wasn’t possible to hear what was being said, but he definitely picked up a low voice, laced through with her softer, lighter one. 

Why was Hanbyul home early, and with a man? Not that it was any of Jimin’s business or anything but… what if she’d gotten sick or something? Or maybe something in her apartment had broken and it was a contractor? That made him nervous; not all contractors could be trusted and it might be obvious that she lived there alone. And if something had broken, she could have mentioned it to him for help; she’d admitted before she hated calling about broken things, but he didn’t mind it at all.

“Focus, Park Jimin,” he muttered to himself as Sunnie’s book bag– no, dance bag!-- dug into his shoulder. It didn’t matter who was in her apartment with her, he couldn’t just run to Hanbyul to help with things that weren’t her problem. He was the dad here, he needed to clean up his daughter’s mess and get to the bottom of all of this. He turned from her door and stretched his calves in the elevator to prepare for the jog back to the studio. At this rate he was going to be danced out before his class even began.

*******

At least Sun-young wasn’t giving him the silent treatment this time, but the forced small talk was awkward. They ate their late dinner in silence and then she went off to do homework while he dealt with bills at the dining room table. Expensive, expensive, everything here was so expensive on only one income. Not for the first time he thought about how much easier some things would be if he took Sun-young to live closer to his parents, or even with his parents. They’d kept him on the right track for his childhood! Clearly he was fucking something up with Sunnie and she wasn’t even a teenager yet!

He waited until she was asleep later that night to call –double checking to make sure she was really asleep and wouldn’t overhear him calling his mom to tell her about things lately. Perhaps against his better judgment, he told her about the forged permission slip, and the forgotten dance clothing, and the books, and the attitude about dance class. But he needed to talk to someone about it, and none of his close friends had raised children or could really understand, even if they meant well. 

She listened to it all with far more of a sense of humor than he cared for. Apparently she found it amusing that Sun-young was giving him a run like this.

“She’s a bright girl,” his Eomma mused, voice full of pride instead of worry or warning. “Stubborn, like her appa.”

“But I was stubborn about the things that were good for me,” he argued. “Once I could dance, I never took it for granted.”

Eomma chuckled, “Yes, yes, stubborn about the thing you cared about. Was it the right thing? It turns out, it was for you, I think. It’s hard to know.”

“But in this case, I do know. Sunnie is talented at dance. She’s worked hard to be good at dance, she loves it there, it’s her home. I mean, she was practically born and raised in that studio!”

“Yes, how brave to take a step away from it, hm?”

Jimin scowled and warned, “It sounds like you are saying I should just let her quit dance. Throw away all her hard work. Do you know how many times people tell me that they wish their parents had made them stick with something because later they have nothing?”

“I’m not telling you to do anything. Do I think she should dance? Yes, of course, she’s a beautiful dancer. Ah, Jimin my son, you are as stubborn as your daughter, do you know?”

“I’m protective, Eomma. I’m trying to do the best for her.”

“Do you know, I wanted you to be a lawyer! Or a doctor. You were smart, so very smart, Class President. Nobody else in our family was class president, did you know that?”

“I did know that,” he mumbled. He also remembered her expressing those wishes for him. His father had expressed them longer than she had though; once he started to dance, she’d given it up, and he’d learned to live with that tickle of fear that he’d disappointed his parents in such a fundamental way that he would never do anything right by them again. For all he knew, that was still true. He lived far away, did not make a lot of money, had a beautiful daughter they didn’t get to see enough, and he’d lost his wife. 

“But you knew dance was the right thing for you, oh you said that to us so many times, with your heart and soul and your sparkling eyes, even though you worked so hard in the shop too. You were so certain and I saw with my own certainty that if we did not bend, our relationship would break.”

“Eomma…”

“Do you know how many women I know whose sons, daughters, they don’t talk anymore? They hate their Eommas and Appas. You said it’s because they let them quit. I say it’s because sometimes they didn’t let them quit, or try something else. How do we tell what the right thing is to do as parents? We’re all trying our best.”

“Yes,” Jimin could at least agree with that.

“You are always so certain about the things you believe in,” Eomma continued. “Your conviction is so strong! You wanted to dance, you wanted to live in Seoul, you wanted to run a studio with your friends. But a daughter is not like those things. You can’t choose much of anything for her, even if sometimes it hurts so deeply, knowing you can’t make everything right for your child. Especially when it hurts them.” Jimin swallowed and leaned away from the emotion in her voice. He knew when she was talking about his loss, and as much as he appreciated that she was sad for him about it, he couldn’t give into grief right now.

Instead he focused on his surprise that she wasn’t backing him up, and pressed, “Aren’t you going to say to me that children should respect their parents? Parents shouldn’t just give in to every whim of their child –that’s always what you and Appa say! You say I spoil her too much with–”

“Bending is not the same as bowing! Bending is difficult for you, Jimin. I understand. Maybe it’s even harder now, since…” She didn’t have to say it. Since Subin died. “As a parent you realize how little you actually control and it makes you want to do more. But parents who do not bend, they will lose their children or make them miserable. Which is worse?”

“So you’re saying I should just let her quit.”

“I don’t say this or that. I’m just saying things, don’t listen to me. Can’t she do both? I don’t know, wouldn’t it be nice to have a doctor or an engineer in the family?”

Jimin managed to suppress his sigh. He loved his eomma dearly and her advice was both helpful and not at the same time, but he appreciated it. There was wisdom behind it, even if he didn’t want her pressing Sun-young to be a doctor anymore than–

Ugh. But what if he was doing the same thing with dance?

But Sun-young had always loved danced! From infancy! She’d always said she wanted to be a dancer, and if she quit now, it might be impossible for her to catch up later in any meaningful way!

Jimin was exhausted from the day, and didn’t find the peace he had hoped for in talking with Eomma. There was nothing more he could do about it today though.

This would all be easier if Subin was here. Subin would be able to understand what Sun-young was going through. Maybe it wasn’t even the science thing! Maybe she had other little girl things going on she didn’t want to talk to her dumb old dad about and there was nothing he could do and even if he let her quit every dance class and just live in a science lab, she’d still hate him. Even going to see Mango Crush hadn’t bought him more than a few days of good will.

He got a beer from the fridge but didn’t feel like drinking it alone. But it was sort of late, and he didn’t feel like getting embroiled in any of the dating drama Taehyung or Jungkook would throw his way, and Yoongi was working, and Hoseok was absolutely asleep, and his acquaintances after that weren’t ones he was going to call to come over for a beer at 10 o’clock. Besides, he didn’t really feel like seeing any of them right now, he wanted to just be alone. But not alone with himself.

Briefly he thought about Hanbyul. Maybe more than briefly. Her presence would be welcome. Nothing about her was ever intrusive or abrasive. She always struck just the right balance between listening to him vent and distracting him from pointless thoughts. Fuck, did he vent too much to her? Definitely. He shouldn’t bother her right now.

He went to her door anyway. He knocked and waited. Hudu started barking right away, oops, and then she took an unusually long time to come to the door so that he worried she’d already gone to bed. When she opened it, she had a robe pulled around her body and squinted like she had been asleep, but her makeup was still on.

“Jimin? Is something wrong?”

“Um…” He trailed off when Hudu only looked up at him, then went running off somewhere further into the apartment. And in the distance, a masculine voice said something lowly.

“Nope. Sorry, I was just going to invite you over for a beer but–” It seems you have company?! “--looks like you already went to bed. I’m so sorry for waking you–”

“No, it’s fine. It’s ok. There’s nothing wrong?”

“Nope, absolutely nothing wrong. Just… nothing at all,” he grinned, pouring every ounce of charm he could into distracting her from his own incredibly awkward feelings. Holy shit, Hanbyul had a man in her apartment and they were– obviously they were– was it the same man who had been there six hours ago?!

“Goodnight,” he said and practically ran down the hall. Damn, he was tired of running today.

*******

“Everything all right?” Namjoon asked as Hanbyul returned to the bedroom. She tossed Hudu a dental chew on the way to apologize for banishing him from the bedroom earlier, but there were some things her favorite little pup was not invited for. Not to the fancy dinner Namjoon had taken her to at a place with live music, not to the swank bar afterwards, and definitely not to her own bed, where Namjoon had so suavely removed every item of her clothing for the kind of sex Hanbyul thought was fake.

Wow.

Yeah, it turned out he’d had a good excuse. His mother was in the hospital, doing fine now, but he’d been a little distracted. He was very close with his parents and had gone right to her side.

Charming.

He sat on the edge of her bed now, chest and arms so deliciously bare in the low lights she’d left on, though he’d regrettably pulled his boxers and slacks back on. Hanbyul decided her legs couldn’t hold her much longer and she sat beside him, still a little knobby-kneed from earlier.

“Yes,” she said belatedly. “Everything’s fine, yeah. Just a neighbor asking about– it’s not important.” Talking about Jimin to Namjoon threatened to shake loose the careful coolness she’d managed to maintain throughout this unbelievable evening. She’d done such a good job of staying focused on this man and she didn’t want to ruin it now, just because seeing JImin at her door had first terrified her that something was wrong with Sun-young, and then terrified her that he would be able to tell she’d just had sex. Which felt like something he shouldn’t know. Even though it shouldn’t matter because it’s not like they were a couple or anything! But it felt unfaithful, after that fun time with the concert last weekend… but it wasn’t unfaithful! That was just a fun social event with her neighbor and his daughter. She was not dating Jimin, even if she wished she was. Oh god, but that was unfaithful to Namjoon!

Namjoon let out a deep, satisfied-sounding sigh and leaned in to kiss her before admitting, “I should get going. Early morning tomorrow.”

“Me too.”

“Thanks for inviting me in. I had a great time today.”

“Me too.”

She walked him to the door where he kissed her again and she had that feeling of disbelief that this man had wanted four dates with her now, and that she’d found him so quickly. He had to have a flaw, certainly, but she hadn’t found it yet, except maybe his taste in women… OK, that was too mean to herself. But she focused on the kiss, and enjoyed the kiss, then scooped Hudu up so he wouldn’t run out. He wasn’t totally enamored with Namjoon yet, but they didn’t not get along and Namjoon clearly wanted Hudu’s affection, so that wasn’t a dealbreaker.

He opened the door and stepped out then turned to her and laughed, “You know, it’s such a small world. My buddy lives right down the hall from you.”

Hanbyul froze except for the clench of her very sore abdominal muscles.

“Um… what’s your buddy’s name?”

“Park Jimin. Have you met him?”

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#jimin ff #jimin x oc #park jimin fanfic #dad jimin #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #jimin smut #jimin fluff #jimin fic #jimin fanfic #single dad jimin #after the applause

[benchtrioupdates]

Ranboo posted on Twitter!

#ranboo #mod jay #id in alt text #round of applause he's still alive after name your price everyone #that was a good outfit. i am just saying

[l-0puko]

so I've been watching the recent jjk s2 episodes and I might have made a small mistake of checking out the jjk-themed communities (like subreddits). whenever there's an ongoing adaptation of a manga/manhwa/whatever... not everyone will be happy. I get it. cue that one disappointed but not surprised meme.

4 episodes in and, imho, the anime has been doing a good job adapting the original source so far. I like the change of perspective in some moments which simply work in manga but probably won't look as good in other kind of medium. they all have their strengths (as well as weaknesses).

the anime though? ohhh. the action - ep 3 is chef's kiss - the visual gags, the music, the VOICES, the additional moments of something mundane and simple, which don't really affect the key events in a fast-paced shounen anime - but they do affect the pace. and it's.. nice. for me.

so yeah the key to enjoy it more is not to read anything and just watch an ongoing on your own or to talk about it with a friend. that's it. it's been like that with other media and a little too many of my acquaintances weren't happy with something I was looking forward to see :_) another thing is not to expect anything - I say gritting my teeth thinking about action in the shibuya station and anf-

#mine #jjk #a part of why i don't post much of gif sets #like gif sets* and other stuff #at least on reddit i frequent a manga-only sub which is centered around the latest chapters and spoilers and yeah #anyway i'm seeing a pattern here so it's better to treat an anime adaptation as. an adaptation. #which might not be the ideal reflection of the events but it also shouldn't be #they also animated the gojo and geto parr after fighting with toji where the lights are bright and cold. almost sick. #loved that #gojo's unblinking stare while his face darkens. and the contrast . the applause at the end #🤤🤤🤤 #one of my favorite episodes tbh

[caralara]

.

#ok I need to rant #first half of the show I started to regret buying so many expensive tickets for HSLOT #because Harry seemed extremely disconnected and on #performer autopilot #I’d even say he looked bored and tired of yet another HSLOT tour show #the set list order didn’t really work well for me until the disco medley #that’s when I felt it got better bc it warmed the crowd and Harry up #but yeah he didn’t seem to be there much imo #(I’m hyper sensitive to this tho so it might not be as dramatic as I experienced it) #the crowd was pretty dead #there was literally no applause after fine line #bc everyone cried #and it made the encore break super awkward #but #BUT he caught my flag during TPWK and ran with it!!! #AND we had a lil dancey dance pointy point during sushi I think it was #but yeah idk #I experienced Harry in Berlin last year and these two shows were like a million miles apart

[krtri]

YOURE THE REALEST PERSON EVER FOR TRANTHARRY POSTING!!!!!! ive been saying this since day 1. You get me. Thank you. Cheering and screaming.

omg thank you so so so much 😳😭🫡 i almost felt bad for the spam at first but idk trantharry make me crazy!!! like it started with me like “i think they could kiss. for the laughs.” but then i gave it some thought and like… i think they could be really compatible! they have several common interests, they’re both SOOOOO divorced, trant would know how to help harry get and stay sober, harry could maybe become the father that stepped up (emphasis on maybe), i think they’d both be total total freaks, trant would actually be interested in how harry’s mind works, they could be so annoying together, etc etc etc. 🥰

#it did start as me like ‘i think trant’s scientific curiosity in harry is sexy actually i too want to examine harry under the microscope’ #but i gave it too much thought and now i want them to kiss for real. oops! #i also think the implications of their relationship before/after harry’s memory loss would be so interesting!!!!! and a little bittersweet? #kfkekfkefj SORRY I WENT OFF I JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT THEM!!! i’m smashing them together repeatedly! #this was very very kind again thank you this ask made my day ☺️☺️☺️ TRANTHARRIES… OUR VISION… I’M GIVING US ALL A ROUND OF APPLAUSE