#airbnb was made for extroverts

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(airbnb advertising be like: HEY! you're taking a trip with your friends! Don't you want to spend EVERY SECOND with them?

literally no.)

#i want to say bye and see you in the morning #and greet all of them over coffee after I've had 9 hours to decompress after being social #airbnb was made for extroverts #and no one else #and also what do you mean im on vacation and have to do CHORES??? #no

[thesaltyace]

boy have I got a hot take for y'all today

several friends of mine have been posting stuff about being a highly sensitive person or an introvert and like...

I want to preface this by saying that if those terms are useful and make sense to them, they should absolutely use them and I'm glad having terms like that helps them form community.

I absolutely relate to the same stuff they post about and used to refer to myself as an introvert. And the word "used to" might give you a clue as to where I'm going with this.

...

so, um

I can't help but notice

that so much of what they post about appear, to me, to just be.... typical things associated with ADHD and/or ASD.

Like.... y'all.

Y'all.

You um.

You might be neurodivergent.

Like, the specific connection I made that got me thinking about this was that, like, masking one's neurodivergence is exhausting. When one doesn't have to mask their neurodivergence, interactions with others often /aren't/ exhausting. The introvert meme in question was something about how they are drained by social interactions and recharge when alone.

Which, ya know, sounds reallllllllly familiar.

What if....

What if they aren't feeling drained by the social interaction itself, but by the masking they perform while around most other people?

My theory boils down to this hilariously simple premise: if you have a lot of overlapping characteristics with neurodivergent folk.... you might actually be neurodivergent yourself. 😅

---

---

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I was going to put this stuff in the tags but I decided to write it out here cause um it started to get long and it's also a bit more detail about my thought process behind this. But it's under the cut in case you wanna skip it :D

I used to be like yeah, I'm just an introvert. But I actually really like people. I have a need to be around people, to interact with them, to be social, etc. It's just that it's exhausting and the only way I can feel not exhausted is to spend a lot of time by myself.

Then a term "introverted extrovert", or maybe it was "extroverted introvert"? don't remember for sure... anyway, that term popped up and I was like YEAH that fits better! And it kind of did, at least in describing some of my behavior, but it still didn't explain why I felt and acted the way I do.

BUT NOW, knowing I have ADHD and very probably ASD, I'm like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I genuinely want and enjoy this human connection. I'm only exhausted when I'm trying to pretend I have a clue what's going on or trying to blend in with everyone else.

It's literally the fucking MASKING that's exhausting me, not the people or interactions themselves.

Cause like, what occurred to me last night was that when I'm around the right people I THRIVE. I can spend 24/7 with my spouse FOREVER and I never get sick of him or need alone time to "recharge". I might need to reduce my environmental stimulation (such as no touching, headphones for a while, etc) but still want to be in the same room and able to talk and interact with him.

We have a few friends who are WAY less exhausting to interact with. Like, there is one couple that we've spent a 10-hour car ride together, then 3 days of Ren Fair together, each night going back to the same Airbnb and playing D&D until the wee hours of the morning, and then another 10 hour car ride back home. And we aren't sick of them at all (and they don't seem to be sick of us either), and we aren't low-battery after all that, either.

There's another couple who we can spend hours upon hours with, multiple days in a row, and not be sick of or exhausted after the time together.

You know the common thread? At least one person in each of those couples who is either ADHD or ASD. And I realized we don't mask anywhere near as heavily with these folks. We do still mask a little bit, so eventually we do reach a point where we hit a wall, but that's only happened very rarely.

Whereas anytime we interact with distinctly not-neurodivergent folks, especially with several at once, we are drained within an hour. Completely. We did a game night at the house of one of spouse's colleagues and OH LORD it was thirty minutes, y'all. We were masking hard, too. And you know what we've noticed happens when we mask hard? We get very, very tired and SLEEPY. But the minute we leave, a weight lifts. And within the next 15-20 minutes we're no longer sleepy and are raring to go do something we enjoy (usually at home). We can leave someone's house at 9pm completely drained and exhausted, hop in the car, and by the time we're home we are wide awake and full of newfound energy and ready to do shit at home until 3am.

Like....

It's the fuckign masking. That's it.

#obvs not every person who is an introvert has to be neurodivergent #I'm not saying if you identify with HSP and introvert stuff that you definitely have ADHD or ASD #but like #think about it a bit #I think there's a lot of internalized ableism surrounding neurodivergency #so it feels safer for some to say they're this other thing and not THAT #but like the best case scenario is that you realize you aren't neurodivergent and you're happy and secure in being an introvert or HSP #or that you realize you are neurodivergent and you've now found another community where you can share and support each other #it's a win win

[yeoyokepeng3205]

"Sharing" economy (Yeo Yoke Peng Blogpost 6)

In this article, Ravenelle dissects the sharing economy defined as “peer to peer firms that connect people for the purposes of distributing, sharing and reusing goods and services” and refutes the notion of the gig economy being able to turn the tables of economic inequality, enhance worker rights or quality of life and bring entrepreneurship to the workers. Her research revolves about the three main themes: the Gemeinschaft/ Gesellschaft trust divide, the increasing casualisation of work and further widening of the social class divide by analysing personal stories of 80 predominantly millennial works from Uber etc. Thus, she discloses how the gig economy is the millennial version of minimum-wage precarious work encompassed by deteriorating quality of human relationships.

Before I delved into the reading, I pondered over the meaning of “sharing economy”. The word “sharing” has positive connotations to it -to “use, occupy or enjoy jointly with another or others. Thus, I had a rather romanticised idea of “sharing economy”. However, through this reading she uncovered the theme of Gemeinschaft/ Gesellschaft which was extremely insightful to me as it made me reevaluate the idea of trust and community. Personally, as an extrovert, i do enjoy Grabhitch rides - (GrabHitch is a social carpooling service that enables regular drivers like you and me to give fellow commuters a lift, meet new people, and cover the costs of owning a car) because i love to meet people from all walks of life and interact with them. Thus, i thought GrabHitch could also be associated with the revival of the kampong spirit as Grab encourages passengers to “make friends”. Then, I came across this analogy by Ravenelle “ An Airbnb host isn't so much ‘sharing’ her home or ‘hosting guest’ as she is renting her home out’”. Similarly, even though I became friends with the driver, exchanged personal experiences, it does not eliminate the fact that at the end of the day, I still have to pay my fare. Unknowingly, this terminology -“sharing economy”  deludes people into thinking that there is a combined effort to divide the wealth equally or share it joyfully. In reality, this phenomenon could gradually monetise daily interactions which makes us question the genuinity of people. For instance, relating back to the hitch example, did the driver interact because he really wants to pursue a friendship or simply just doing his job as a driver ? It makes you question the sincerity of human interactions and consequently, transform our society into the ultimate Gesellschaft as fleeting interactions and urban anonymity dominates our lives. In addition, although the sharing economy correlates to democratised entrepreneurship, the sharing economy still emphasises on making the individuals’ profiles more credible by ensuring their user names and profile pictures are accurate through their linked social media accounts. Though seen as accentuating the company’s or seller’s credibility, it paves way for discrimination. I recalled my friend sharing with me that if i am with a group of friends who are going home late at night, remember to get a girl to book the grab so that the ride request will be accepted quicker. Perplexed, that particular night, my friends and I put that theory to the test, and surprisingly, I was able to get a grab within split seconds while my guy friends took at least 5-7mins before they got a ride. On the ride, i asked the uncle why he accepted my ride so quickly, he replied “ You chinese girl what… usually if it is a guy or non chinese, i'm scared to accept especially since the timing is so late...confirm got problem one”. Evidently, this sharing economy fuels gender and racial discrimination.

References

Ravenelle, A. J. (2019). What is the sharing economy? Chapter 2 in Hustle and gig: Struggling and surviving in the sharing economy (1st ed.). Oakland, California: University of California Press.

#nm3205 #precarity #tw1

[wanderlustlanguages]

Brazil study abroad roundup

So since I failed at posting during my study abroad I am going to attempt to sum everything up here. I hope this might be helpful for people who want to study abroad in Brazil in the future.

Disclaimer: This is written based on my personal experience which is of course affected by who I am (20-year-old, female, Austrian, introverted, straight, white,...) and the people I happened to meet and a million other small factors.

If you have any specific questions don’t hesitate to inbox me or send me a message.

Rio de Janeiro

I spent my exchange semester in Brazil or more precisely in Rio de Janeiro. Rio de Janeiro is without a doubt a city unlike any other (I have ever seen at least). My favourite thing about Rio is its diversity in both its population and the landscape. Rio really has it all amazing beaches, lush-greenness and a buzzing city. The city itself was probably my favorite thing about my exchange. I remember the first day I arrived and drove through the city to get to my apartment. I was fascinated by how the rich and the poor lived so close to each other and how there were 15 story buildings right in front of green hills and corporate office next to a beach.

Culture and People

The culture is completely different from anything I have ever experienced before. People in Brazil are so friendly it is shocking. Everyone seems to be open to have a chat and help you out. The one downside I found to this (as an introvert) while everyone is open to having a chat it can be hard to find real, solid friends. People tend to talk about hanging out or doing something but as you are talking about it both of you already know that it will never happen. So while in general, I cannot complain about people since they are very friendly to foreigners I have not made any real friends.

Language

However, not making friends might also have something to do with the fact that my Portuguese wasn’t really good enough to speak much when I arrived here and most people don’t really speak English. While it has improved greatly (especially my understanding of native speakers) I am still missing the practice to come up with words quickly enough to have a fluent conversation. Also, slang is still an issue while I have learned some of it there seems to be an endless amount of slang terms that I will probably never know (the fact that Brazilian Portuguese slang changes quickly and varies by region isn’t helping either):

Food

I have a love-hate relationship with Brazilian food. There’s some food I really enjoy but then there is even more food that I don’t particularly like. The food that I did enjoy seemed to get too monotonous quickly. In general Brazilian cuisine tends to be very much meat-based (being a vegetarian is still somewhat rare here) with carbs also playing a big role. As someone who prefers to eat a bit more plant-based and lighter it was a bit difficult to imagine eating a typical Brazilian diet every day. But of course, this wasn’t really an issue I just bought my vegetables in the supermarket and prepared them the same way I would have at home. But I did miss typical dishes from home and also Maki with avocado or cucumber (for some reason they only have sushi with actual fish here).

Money

Brazil is not as cheap as some other Latin American countries, especially Rio is quite expensive. I would say on average the living expenses here are as much as in other European cities (not London or Paris). The prices for food are pretty moderate with imported goods, of course, being more expensive. The metro is cheap compared to European standards and while it does cover much less area than the underground systems in most other major cities it really does take you pretty much everywhere that you’ll need to go. Uber is also surprisingly cheap. If you can split the ride it might just end up being cheaper than the metro ticket. My monthly living expenses without trips and rent were around: €500.

Housing

The rent prices vary greatly depending on the area you live in, however, in general, the standard of living is lower so even if you pay €500 a month the apartment might have all the necessities but often just doesn’t look as pretty (not an issue just something to keep in mind). I personally chose to live in an apartment in Ipanema which I shared with another girl from my university we paid about €500/month each. When choosing an area to live in you should keep in mind that there are areas that are not so safe. Personally, we booked our apartment on Airbnb but many people find theirs on facebook or upon arrival.

Trips

I managed to go on quite a few trips but getting around Brazil can quickly get complicated and expensive since it is such a huge country. If you have a place you already know you would like to visit I recommend booking the airplane ticket as early as possible the closer you get to the date the more expensive they tend to get. The cheapest airplane ticket I managed to get was about €70 (one hour flight, no checked bags). There are buses almost everywhere and they can be significantly cheaper however it is debatable whether you would rather pay €60 and drive for 14 hours or pay €150 - 200 and fly for 2 to 3 hours. For shorther distances buses are of course completely fine and you can book most of them online or buy a ticket directly at the central bus station.

Personally, I visited:

Paraty Salvador Belo Horizonte Ouro Preto Buzios Blumenau Curitiba Porto Alegre São Paulo Petropolis

Education system

Like in many countries getting a good education in Brazil means getting a private education. Since my university had a contract with a private university that’s the kind of educational environment I experienced. Personally, education is a topic I feel quite passionate about or more specifically I feel quite passionate about the belief that education should be as accessible as possible to as many people as possible (I am not going to go in-depth here about why..). The Brazilian education system is built in a way that greatly advantages people who are more well off than the average Brazilian. I personally was not a fan of my university since I felt the entire thing was just this bubble that didn’t in any way mirror the Rio that I experienced outside of university. 

Society

I touched upon this briefly in the previous section. One of the most interesting dynamics about Brazil is the society. There seems to be this strange dichotomy were Brazilians are proud of the diversity of their population yet there is some kind of deeply ingrained, probably to a large degree unconscious (like in many countries), racism going on. People who are noticeably darker in complexion are mostly still part of the poorest of the population while the richest look astonishingly European and nothing is done to change this. Brazilians are proud of their diversity yet the order of their society still reflects one of the colonial times. (I am in no way saying that every Brazilian supports the way things are. This is more a reflection of the politics going on in the country which are unfortunately corrupt to a large degree so we cannot exactly consolidate the current societal state with the actual opinion of people)

Touristy things + Leisure time

Now for a lighter topic. There is plenty to see in Rio and when I say plenty I mean a lot as in I didn’t even manage to see everything that I wanted to see. I plan to make a more comprehensive post on places to see in Rio (well-known ones and some not so well known). Leisure time is to a large degree spent outdoors on the beach, hiking, or at parties. One disadvantage of Rio is that it is a quite outdoorsy city so when it rains there aren’t many options for entertainment.

Party and dating culture

Parties here are a lot more spontaneous often happening on the street in front of university buildings. They are also a bit wilder it is quite common for one person to make out with several different people a night and it is almost unheard of that someone doesn’t drink alcohol. Dating culture from what I experienced (which is admittedly somewhat limited) is very relaxed. Casual relationships are extremely common and break-ups are usually quite pragmatic. At the same time, the macho culture is still a bit more prevalent than in many European countries. As someone who is introverted and doesn’t really enjoy casual relationships or just dating for the sake of dating it wasn’t my thing but each to their own.

Conclusion

Would I want to live here forever? No. Did I really like the experience? Yes. Brazil is what I like to refer to as an “extrovert country”. So as an introvert it can be quite exhausting to navigate the social life here even more so than in european countries since people here are very talkative and open. However, this was a thing I was prepared for and since it was a dream of mine to got to Brazil one day despite that I can’t say that I didn’t have a great time and that it wasn’t worth it. I definitely see myself coming back to see more of the country. I simply personally enjoy the openness for a short period of time but it would probably be too much for me to live like this for the rest of my life. I am also quite thankful to have been born in a european country with free education, pretty good public health care, less corruption and overall more stability. Still I would not ever tell anyone NOT to go to Brazil, or Rio especially. I like to think of Rio as the bad boy of cities. It might be a little dangerous or more uncomfortable than others but it’s just so pretty, fascinating and mysterious you can’t help but fall in love. 

#BrazilExchange #study abroad #exchange student #semester abroad #Exchange Semester #travelling #brazil #travel #rio de janeiro #portuguese #university #student #study french #study languages

[douchebagbrainwaves]

STARTUPS ARE REALLY LIKE YOU CAN'T SAY

So all other things being equal, a society consisting of more, smaller units. So maybe it would be demoralizing for us to be up to our chins in failure all the time. But just two companies, Dropbox and Airbnb, account for about three quarters of it. Stupid, perhaps, but not like it used to. You might think that responsible corporate governance is an area where you can't go too far in any law, and this remark convinced me that Sarbanes-Oxley is a law, passed after the Bubble, that drastically increases the regulatory burden on public companies. But when I consider what it would take to reproduce Silicon Valley in Japan, because one of Silicon Valley's most distinctive features is immigration. Of course, it's not saying much that America is more open to immigration than Japan. Some VCs will say this is unthinkable—that they want all their money to be put to work growing the company.

By the standards of the rest of the world. The whole language always available. But advancing technology has made web startups so cheap that you really can get a company airborne for $15,000. Startup founder is not the sort of backslapping extroverts one thinks of as typically American. If you step on the toes of the coal industry, you'll hear about it. Obviously they have the right people: you can have speculative meetings all the time. Indians in the current Silicon Valley.

Can imagination flourish where people can't criticize the government? So as animals get bigger they have trouble radiating heat. One question I can answer is why hardware is suddenly cool. To succeed in a domain that violates your intuitions, you need to, but by default you change what you're doing every hour. That was not, probably, how McCarthy thought of it in these terms, but in effect I had two workdays each day, one on the manager's schedule. But perhaps America's lousy public schools have a hidden advantage. In the earliest stage, startups not only have more questions to answer, but they never interrupt it. There are two different ways people judge you. Such judgements can of course be mistaken, but because the goal is to judge you correctly, you can assume larval startups will break most of them, we either try to remove it, or shift the startup sideways. If Hewlett and Packard tried running an electronics company out of their garage in Switzerland, the old lady next door would report them to the municipal authorities. Sometimes I can't think of an answer, especially when the idea is a made-up one.

So if you want to work on, or even who the founders should be. But the more you realize that because of the huge amounts they raised at the end of my day these meetings are never an interruption. Imagine if, instead, you treated immigration like recruiting—if you made a conscious effort not to do that. Sarbanes-Oxley has become. So we have no data about what it takes to get from the swarms-of-beggars stage to the silicon-valley stage. I begin by reminding readers of this principle because I'm about to propose a theory that will offend both liberals and conservatives. And if the candidates are equally charismatic, charisma will cancel out, and elections will be decided on issues, as political commentators like to think they are now. I realized: maybe not. But we should expect it to be very hard to contain parents' efforts to obtain an unfair advantage for their kids, so it's not surprising to find they'll also push their scruples to the limits of your capacity.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #day #Valley #domain #startup

[dawsim]

simself tag

i was tagged by the lovely @teael

i tag: @hiddenspringss, @simphoniae, @enismald, @glazeio, @simsdork, @tropicivy, @elnorasims, @bearcula, @ohhiplumbob, @obi-uhie, and @pixelddump <333

traits: music lover, goofball, gloomy, loner, foodie

You have to make a simself and put whatever you wish there, traits, anything about you.  After the keep reading thingy are +100 questions I found that you can answer if you want, but you don’t have to.

What is your full name? madeleine

What is your nickname? dawson, maddy, mads, daw, bitch

Birthday? december 26

What is your favorite book series? i’ll just say harry potter :-)

Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? aliens.. maybe? ghost YES

Who is your favorite author? uhhh idk

What is your favorite radio station? i literally only listen to spotify so idk maybe chill lofi beats to study to

What is your favorite flavor of anything? vanilla

What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? cool, amazing, incredible

What is your current favorite song? smile a little smile for me, the flying machine

What is your favorite word? FUCK

What was the last song you listened to? the rain the park and other things, the cowsills

What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? bojack horseman

What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? hercules

Do you play video games? eh

What is your biggest fear? losing the spark for life or losing my big brother

What is your best quality, in your opinion? i’m pretty clever

What is your worst quality, in your opinion? i’m awkward and insecure sometimes

Do you like cats or dogs better? i love cats

What is your favorite season? fall or winter (right in between them)

Are you in a relationship? nah

What is something you miss from your childhood? before webkinz was turned into a capitalistic cesspool 😞😢 and when i wasn’t a sad bitch

Who is your best friend? i’m gonna say my mom

What is your eye color? brown

What is your hair color? brown

Who is someone you love?  my mom and brother

Who is someone you trust? my mom and brother

Who is someone you think about often? my dad :/

Are you currently excited about/for something? winter break so i can hang out with all my friends who are off at college again

What is your biggest obsession? danny devito

What was your favorite TV show as a child? DRAKE AND JOSH <3333

Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? my brother or my friend dylan

Are you superstitious? i just have a lot of anxiety that it spills into that zone sometimes

Do you have any unusual phobias? nothing unusual really

Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? probably behind

What is your favorite hobby? guitar

What was the last book you read? the scarlet letter for school (rip dimmesdale 😩😢)

What was the last movie you watched? the shining

What musical instruments do you play, if any? guitar

What is your favorite animal? i love raccoons

What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? i can’t narrow them down to 5

What superpower do you wish you had? time travel

When and where do you feel most at peace?  alone in my room

What makes you smile? my sims

What sports do you play, if any?  nah

What is your favorite drink? lemonade, cream soda, rootbeer

When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? i do write for rights every year so like last march or so idk

Are you afraid of heights? yeah

What is your biggest pet peeve? so many

Have you ever been to a concert? yes

Are you vegan/vegetarian? no

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? someone with a dog lol

What fictional world would you like to live in? the shire in middle earth

What is something you worry about? my dad

Are you scared of the dark? no

Do you like to sing? sometimes

Have you ever skipped school? yeah lol

What is your favorite place on the planet? my house

Where would you like to live? idk. a suburb that’s so boring but yeah

Do you have any pets? i have a cat named buzz!

Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? i think i would be an early bird if i wasn’t so lazy

Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunrises

Do you know how to drive? no

Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds

Have you ever had braces? no

What is your favorite genre of music? 60′s-70′s pop, 60′s soul, 2000′s pop-punk, indie, rnb, some hip hop

Who is your hero? my mom

Do you read comic books? nah

What makes you the most angry? clingy or ignorant people

Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? the real thing!

What is your favorite subject in school? zoology

Do you have any siblings? two older brothers

What was the last thing you bought? pho

How tall are you? 5′4

Can you cook? yes

What are three things that you love? days off, clean clothes, my cat

What are three things that you hate? sunday nights, monday nights, ignorant people

Do you have more female friends or more male friends? depends which friend group but probably girls

What is your sexual orientation? probably pan idk

Where do you currently live? us of a

Who was the last person you texted? my friend

When was the last time you cried? lol an hour ago

Who is your favorite YouTuber? my faves: kurtis conner, drew gooden, danny gonzalez (i also love david dobrik vlogs bc heath is just. my type)

Do you like to take selfies? nah

What is your favorite app? spotify

What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? my mom is my best friend i love her more than anyone and my dad is eh :/ it’s rough rn

What is your favorite foreign accent? liverpool accents

What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? new orleans!

What is your favorite number? 26

Can you juggle? no

Are you religious? i find religion so interesting and sometimes it’s a good escape place.. but there are so many terrible aspects to it as well so idk

Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? deep ocean

Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? no lol

Are you allergic to anything? no

Can you curl your tongue? yes

Can you wiggle your ears? no

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? if i’m really wrong i’ll admit it right away

Do you prefer the forest or the beach? beach

What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? idk :/ to prioritize my own well being

Are you a good liar? nah

What is your Hogwarts House? hufflepuff

Do you talk to yourself? oh yeah

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

Do you keep a journal/diary? sometimes i keep a dream journal if i’m trying to get back into lucid dreaming

Do you believe in second chances? if what they did wasn’t despicable then i believe they should get a chance to redeem themselves.. but not a ‘second chance’ cuz that kinda makes it seem like what they did is erased

If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? depends but probably hand it in

Do you believe that people are capable of change? probably

Are you ticklish? a little

Have you ever been on a plane? yes

Do you have any piercings? i have some closed up ear piercings

What fictional character do you wish was real? lana winters from ahs

Do you have any tattoos? no

What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? to stop caring what my stupid high school classmates think about me

Do you believe in karma? yes

Do you wear glasses or contacts? YES lol my vision is so bad and i haven’t gotten a new prescription for like 3 years… my vision with my glasses ON is 20/50 and 20/60 hahah

Do you want children? maybe

Who is the smartest person you know? my friend deming

What is your most embarrassing memory? it’s not the most embarrassing of mine but i recently was in an airbnb and it had a lot of dachshund knick knacks and i opened one of them and a bunch of powder came out and we all thought i had just spilled some dog’s ASHES everywhere but after like 20 minutes of trying to put the ashes back in we realized it was a pepper shaker ahahahah

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes

What color are most of you clothes? blue

Do you like adventures? sometimes

Have you ever been on TV? don’t think so

How old are you? 16

What is your favorite quote? my friend recently said “my roomate asked me to watch the communal juul for the night but i don’t fuck with nic”

Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory

#simself tag #<33333 #yes my hair actually looks like that rn #also owen's coat is a wip #a holiday gift maybe?? :-) #e

[wrenisreading]

HI BABY I LOVE YOU!!!!!! for the questions, Q, R, and S 💚✨

Thank you for the questions baby!!! 🤍🤍 Love YOU!

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

Oof yeah, my partying days are well over besides adult ones now haha. Last one was my own engagement party which started out as a beautiful night celebrating and ended with me crawling into bed absolutely smashed at just after 4 in the morning when I needed to be up at 7am and out the door for breakfast with friends. I made it though, even if I was looking like I’d been dragged behind the car on the way there and could only have air for breakfast lol.

Next one will be my sister in laws hens party! We’ve organised an Airbnb away for a whole weekend with wine tours, cocktail bars and a sex party* lol. It’s going to be wild and I’m not sure I’ll ever recover but hey she’s worth potentially not making it through the weekend for haha.

*This is like a tupperware party but instead of them showing you their latest tupperware it’s sex toy. Just needed to confirm we weren’t having a massive orgy for my SILs hen lol.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

I love greeting cards and cannot possibly throw them out. So every time I get one I write the year in the bottom corner and then put it away with the others.

My safety blanket movies are Howls Moving Castle and The Wedding Date. I have seen them countless amounts of times and will continue to watch them countless more.

I love ALL music. My playlists on Spotify are whack. Everything from rap to country to screamo to kpop. Sometimes I listen to something in particular and sometimes it’s a mixed bag of everything. I’m sure my neighbors get confused.

I love to read. I’m happiest when I have to time to read so I do my best to try and make sure I leave time out each day to read (when adult mixed with uni life permits).

I have a fear of needles that's irrational and makes me unable to even look at or touch an epi-pen without the beginnings of a panic attack happening. Yes, I have tattoos and yes it’s a totally different experience for me!

I’m marrying my high school crush ✨ didn’t score him till I was 20 but I was patient and made sims families of me and him when I was like 13 hahahaha that’s so creepy but he knows all about it. I swear I’m normal.

My favourite place in the world is Japan. I’ve been there 4 times and I’m certain it will never lose its magic.

Kinda linking with no. 7, I’d traveled to 12 different countries in the space of 5 years, between the ages of 14 - 19, and it was all paid for out of my own money. Which leads me to…

I’ve been working since I was 13 years old. I was so shy and nervous that my mum thought having a job and having to interact with people would force it out of me. It kind of worked, kind of didn’t.

For someone who seems like an extrovert, I’m pretty damn introvert. I find interacting with people exhausting and need to have some quiet time after spending long periods around people or in loud spaces.

S - 2 habits.

Gosh I have so many odd little quirks it’s hard to pick them apart from the actual habits haha.

Okay so I have to sleep with something heavy on my feet. So an extra pillow or a folded-up doona just something on the end of the bed because I can’t handle it if there’s no pressure there.

I have a thing about using the last of things. So if there is the last can of drink in the fridge, I can’t drink it until we have more of the same. If there’s a face mask, a chocolate bar, I won’t eat or use them until we have more of the same. This also goes along with books and tv shows! I find it really really hard to watch the last episode of tv shows of the last chapter of books and will sometimes have to take a few days before I can actually finish it, if I ever do at all! My partner and I have tried narrowing it down and our latest theory is that maybe I hate not being able to enjoy something again? Like once it’s gone it’s gone haha.

#wren rambles

[nickrbockr]

Simon Vs Fan Fic: Chapter 4 - Trust your Gut

I landed early and Leah was there to pick my tired butt up from the trip (I can never sleep on planes). I told her it had to happen in Shady Creek and she was on board with it and that made me feel better. Our first day back was filled with catching up in between first day boring syllabus reviews in classes.

Freshman are forced to live on campus their first year and I had an interesting, but forgettable roommate. I have friends in the theatre department here, but starting sophomore year, Leah and I lived together in a nice (and affordable) apartment. Mom and Dad helped us with the rent, Dad being happy that it was the last year he had to pay. People kept telling us we were crazy to live with a friend, but since we’ve been friends for so long and Leah is…well Leah, who always spoke her mind, we never had any issues.

Luckily for both of us, we are great cooks at exceedingly different aspects. I am a stovetop master and handle dinners and savory breakfasts and Leah is a baking champion and handles sweet breakfasts and lunches. Yin-Yang of food: I wake up to waffles and Leah comes home to stir-fry. It’s a match made in love handles.

Ever since my best friend in the department caught on, Ian would come over from time to time to eat both breakfast and dinner, and we swore lunch because our peanut butter would mysteriously be consumed at a fast rate. Ian’s a diamond in the rough in the sense that is he one of the only straight men in the theatre department. This makes him a perfect ladies man because everyone assumes he’s gay when we go out together, girls talk to us, I tell him ‘Oh, my boyfriend’s calling me,’ and that opens the conversation to his heterosexuality and he leaves me with a wink and a finger gun.  I’d give it the ‘ol Leah exhale if Ian and I hadn’t perfected it so much.

Outside of that aspect of Ian, he’s a great actor and has, on the hateful occasions, defended me against some drunk country boys at the city bars. Leah calls me his ward and Bram found it too funny. It’s not that funny, but Ian is a guy I know I’ll be friends with for the rest of my life.

“Aaaaaaaaayooooooooo Si-Si,” Ian yelled as he busted in the door and bear hugged me.

“Ugh, I regret it giving him a key already,” Leah said, not standing from the dinner table.

“What’s on the menu tonight?”

“Chicken BLT with pesto mayo and rice.”

Ian glanced over at Leah, “The TA checks musta kicked in with a two course meal, Le Burke.”

Leah and I both paid equally for the food, but Leah was the one who did the shopping. Because she loved it. Also, she actually doesn’t mind Ian’s nickname for her because he gives it a French pronunciation. Also, and she’ll never admit this because it’s against everything she believes, but she maaaaaay have a slight crush on him.

“It’s our last year Ian, may as well live it up, right?”

We all ate and caught up from the summer. Leah regaled us of her TA duties by day, and wine-infused studying by summer night, I bragged about Bram & I’s historic Splash Pad attendance since Bram saw my minute abs I formed junior year and wanted to show me off, and Ian explained his summer back in South Dakota camping every weekend with his high school buddies.

“Dude, have you ever seen the stars without light pollution?” Ian asked, in a serious tone.

“Yes, Ian, Si and I have the capability of turning our head up.” Leah said sarcastically.

“Yeah, but when you did, were you within or outside of the yellow light of the city.”

“Come on, Ian, Midwest dudes aren’t the only dudes who can see stars,” I validate. It reminded me of when Bram and I took a trip this summer with Nick & Abby to an AirBnB beach house. All days were spent as a group, but once the sun finally set, it was hard to not sneak into our bedrooms at opposite ends of the house and do what couples do. I try not to tell Leah about too much as she gets mad FOMO (fear of missing out).

“Okay, so you know what that looks like when the sky comes to life and you see the billions of other starts that you normally can’t see and all it took was unplugging and going out on your adventure.”

“But you don’t need just to see stars to feel that way, Ian,” Leah claims.

“Okay Le Burke, fine, but we all have that place we can go that makes us emotionally unpack, and not in the lets talk about our feelings way, but in the I feel less pressure from society and what it expects of me way. Where’s that for you?” Ian points at her.

“My bedroom.” Leah states.

“Your bedroom? Really?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”

“I dunno, seems trapped to me.” Ian answers, helping himself to the last BLT.

“You’re an extrovert, I’m an introvert, I don’t see a cramped room, I see a space in the entire universe that is built specifically for me and my liking and it relaxes me!”

Ian took a big bite and replied with a mouth full, “You know what, you got a point Le Burke.”

“Enough time around me, you’ll find I always know what I’m talking about.”

“What about you, Simon?” Ian asked.

I hadn’t been listening the conversation. When Ian asked about the place where we can emotionally unpack, all I could think about was that night on the Ferris wheel with soft eyes Bram Greenfeld in his strong arms next to his soccer calves. Though many people were around us, that little carriage built for two felt the most weight lifting experience.

“Si? Earth-to-Si,” Leah said in a robot voice.

“The ring,” I start. “Would it be tacky to get a ring that looks like a ferris wheel?”

“I didn’t take you for the man jewelry type, Si” Ian laughed, taking another bite that was probably a bit too big.

“A ferris wheel would just look like a merry-go-round on its side and I don’t think that’s cute.” Leah replied. “Besides, it would be a statement engagement ring and Bram isn’t really a statement jewelry person.”

“Engagement ring?” Ian muffled out of his mouth. “Are you proposing to Bram?”

“Oh, shit. Yes, Ian, I’m proposing to Bram in January.”

Ian spit out the food onto his plate to the lament of Leah and powered over to me to give me another bear hug.

“Fuck yeah Si! That’s so fuckin’ cool congratulations!”

Ian is obsessed with Bram. On the occasions Bram visited me up here, Ian steals him away so they can talk about soccer. Bram loves it because it’s hard to talk soccer in Baltimore, so I usually have to peel Ian off of Bram. Ian always asks Bram jokingly if he has a sister and Bram always lets him know she’s only five.

He finally let me go and went back to his spit out food and put it back in his mouth to finish.

“Are you fucking serious Ian?!” Leah screamed.

“I don’t want to waste food on such a beautiful evening. We have to celebrate.”

Celebrating turned into shots and beers and the rest of the night we spent talking about the show line up for our senior year and which roles we’d want verses the one we may be assigned. Leah explained her classes and we got into brief sociology based debates. Around one A.M., Ian was asleep on the couch and Leah and I were in my room, head to head, just like in high school.

“So I was thinking and you’re right, I think the ferris wheel ring maybe too much.”

“Maybe a little.” Leah replied in a slight slur. “It could have been worse, you could have suggested an Oreo ring.”

She’s right, unfortunately. We both laughed a drunken laugh.

“Know of any cool ring shops in New Haven?” I ask. “I wanna start looking.”

“Si, don’t rush this. Let the ring find you. The one ring-”

“TO RULE THEM ALL!” We both finish.

“When I brought it up to Dad, he just said ‘do you trust me’ and so I don’t know if he’s helping me or not.” I explain.

“Maybe trust your Dad. You’ll be proposing in Shady C anyway, take a chance on your Jack Spier.”

We both chuckle and talk a few more minutes until Leah goes to bed and I’m left staring at my ceiling. I grabbed my laptop and began some drunken Google searching for engagement ring ideas and of course they’re all the most un-Bram like options.

But…like what could I get Bram that will scream us, but at the same time be elegant and show how much I love him? I am leaning towards no stone…I think Bram and I are simple folk with simple tastes. Bram tastes like…no, focus, get my hand out of my pants.

Should I put the ring in a sleeve of Oreos and have him open it? I mean, it know how tacky it sounds because it’s so tacky, but would Bram like how tacky it is and just think it’s cute? Where is the tipping point!?

Bzzz

Bram I hope you had a good first day! I’m assuming Ian’s passed out already? ;)

And just like that, my ring anxiety began to dissolve.

                                                                                               I did and he is!                                                             For a bro, he’s not much of a drinker

. .. … If you talk about soccer, he’ll drink you under the table. He runs on pure adrenaline when you bring up Argentina.

                                                           You know I tried, and it didn’t work                             I think I’m missing the Bram-factor in my conversation

. .. … I’m missing the Simon-Spier.

                                                           Strange, I thought you had my heart                                         Be sure you don’t lose it, it’s the only one I have

. .. … I keep it in the space mine was because you seem have taken mine.

                                                                                                                 <3              Above is evidence I have yours, show me mine so I know it’s safe

. .. … <3 It isn’t going anywhere. Oh, also, I almost forgot. Mom is going to be in New Haven guest lecturing for the...ugh, Women Sexual Studies Class.

Holy shit, this is perfect. I was going to call her but this is a thousand times better. In person, somehow, seems easier because I can see her reactions. Bram’s Mom and I get along great…I think. She allows me to call her by her first name, Tracy, so that’s a start. I just don’t think we’ve ever really had a chance to talk about anything but Bram, so our relationship is just a little one-note, but think we’re both okay talking about Bram that much.

                        Even after four years, Ms Every Time Including Oral strikes again!                                               That’s great, I’ll call her tomorrow to get the details.                                                                                                 I’ll make her dinner.                                             Remind me, her favorite dish is baked salmon right?

. .. … Yes. Simon, you’re too kind. You don’t even like salmon.

                                                                                               Yeah, but I love you.

. .. … <<33 That’s your big heart, still with me. I love you more.

                                                                                                             Impossible.

I fall asleep and wake up to my alarm and more textual love from Bram. I roll out of bed, shower, and get Ian’s ass up for class. Leah already had an egg bake on the table with a note that said ‘Warm me for a minute in the microwave nerds.’ Ian stuffs an extra large portion in his mouth and straps on his bag. I pull us out the door and we jump into Ian’s beat-up Buick to Acting IV.

At lunch I call Tracy and she let’s me know she’ll be here Thursday night for a full day of lectures on Friday. She sounded excited to be asked to lecture and hopefully a good mood enough to hear me wanting to marry her son.

Tuesday comes and goes (for dinner it was just Leah and me and I made us homemade pizza with a cauliflower crust and actually. Actually it wasn’t half bad. Normal crust is always better, but it wasn’t bad).

Wednesday night Leah and I are in the library, me searching for monologues and she posting up to help the Intro to Sociology class students write a big surprise essay assigned by a notoriously hard professor.

“I hope the sociology professors see the irony in making me slave away helping their students cause they’re too lazy.” Leah scoffs, chewing a big piece of pink bubblegum.

“Isn’t that the gig of a Teacher’s Assistant?” I’m burning through stacks of books I stole from the shelves and have a few to photocopy of already earmarked monologues from actor’s past.

“Be on the right side of history, Simon. I’m supposed to assist the teacher, not the student. I got the salmon, by the way, I pulled it from the freezer this morning.”

I gave her a puppy dog smile and head tilt. “This is why you’re the Queen.”

“Damn straight. Know what you’re going to say?”

“No,” I reply. “But I’ve landed the best people in my life by going in without a plan…pretty much my entire life is that.”

“I’m not here to be your English professor, Google how to set up a works cited page!” Leah shouts at a baby freshman. He runs off and frantically types away at his laptop. “Trust your gut, Si, trust your gut. All of it except the part that thought a ferris wheel ring, though, throw that part in the trash.”

I scanned copies of the chosen monologues to work on and we went home. Abby and Nick Skyped us and we all caught up since leaving each other this summer. We planned trips and talked about classes and how Abby and Nick saw Benedict Cumberbatch walking in New York. I fell asleep that night as a usually do, texting Bram, and woke up Thursday morning to cook Leah and I omelets. The rest of the day flew by because before I knew it I was back at home prepping dinner.

I tidied up the apartment as Leah left to study at the library again. She was worried the students would still be there and ask her for helps so she, honest to God, wore a wig to throw them off. I chuckled as she sashayed out the door. Even though I don’t like to eat salmon, I’m a natural when it comes to cooking it and I had all the food ready as soon as Tracy knocked at the door. We hugged and exchanged kisses on the cheek as she presented a bottle of red wine. Then she flew past me into the kitchen and she checked the salmon.

After a deep inhale, she smiled. “Simon, I must say you know how to season.”

“Practice makes perfect, Tracy.”

We made small talk about her trip up here, which evolved into her career taking off. That quickly transitioned into the points she was covering in her lecture during the classes until we both finished eating, but she saw me playing with remnants of potatoes with my fork.

“So, Simon, what are your plans after college?”

“Oh, you know,” I started. “Bram and I were talking of living in New York for awhile. Professors here have some connections to companies there and if I pay my cards right I can get some steady work right away. Bram said he’d love to write for the New York Times, so it’s a perfect move. He mentioned a professor there is on the staff and wrote him a great letter of recommendation, so that’s exciting. Hoping to focus on having fun this year too before we have to be full-fledged adults.”

“Sure sounds like the planning part of Bram rubbed off on you. He gets that from me, trust me.”

“Yeah, Bram is, the greatest, Tracy. I actually wanted to talk to you about Bram.”

I swallowed hard and set my fork down. I was still formulating the words, so I covered myself quickly and picked up the bottle of wine. I got the nerves I felt right before an audition. This audition, however, I couldn’t afford to screw up.

“Refill?”

Tracy nodded with a raised eyebrow and I topped off her glass.

“Seems you want me a little buzzed for this, Simon.”

The audition started. “Oh, no, no, not buzzed. It is custom to have a drink if you’re celebrating something.”

“Oh? What are celebrating tonight?”

Bram…Bram…Bram. Saying his name calmed my nerves. Picturing his lips and remembering his scent centered me.

“Tracy. I am so madly…deeply…overwhelmingly in love with Abraham. My life has been nothing like I could have imagined it or deserved it and it is because of him. I want to always be with him and, because of that, I wanted to make you aware of my intentions. Tracy, my intentions are to ask your son to marry me and before I do, I wanted to ask for your blessing as his mother.”

Tracy tilted her head in the way Bram does and covered her mouth with her right hand. A loud inhale through her nose told me she had an emotional reaction to the news, and I was hoping it was tears of joy. She dropped her hand and a large smile crossed her face (Bram got his smile from her. Definetely).

“Simon Spier. The fact that you...that you gave my son the courage…that you make my son happy…that you cooked me dinner and asked me…I see the way you look at my son and I see the way my son looks at you and even Elijah and I never looked at each other they way you both do. My goal as a mom was to give Abraham a great life and a better one than mine and it looks like this will be just another strong foundation to that claim.”

Tracy put her hand onto mind and squeezed it.

“Simon, you absolutely have my blessing.”

YES, YES,YES! With tears in both our eyes, we hug each other. I pour the last of the wine between our glasses and we chees to me, to Bram, and to us.

“Thank you, Simon. I know you didn’t have to do this, or ask, and it means a lot to me that you did.” Then she became serious for a minute. “Do you intend on asking my ex-husband?”

Is that…a trick question?! Audition not over.

“Yes,” I start wearily. “I wanted to be sure I can tell Bram both of his parents gave me their blessing. I wanted to be sure that you both know how much I intend to love and care for your son. I’m not sure I can fully explain or find the right metaphors to show to what capacity I care for him, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to perfect it into a simple phrase that, when I figure it out, I will tell you.”

Tracy smiled and burst into a happy, crying laughter.

“Simon, since the moment we met, I never had a doubt that you would marry my son. I’m so happy and excited for both of you.”

A tear dropped down my face. What an enormous compliment from a mother to another about her son. I smiled and went on to explain to her when I was planning on proposing.

“Of course, how perfect! Do you have a ring?”

“Funny story, Tracy. Dad said that he’d help me with that, and I’m going to put my bet that he will deliver. After twenty-one years, he has yet to let me down.”

“Wonderful, I can’t wait to see it.”

“Yes, so I was still arranging how I wanted to propose and one scenario has me doing in front of my parents and you and Elijah.”

“Such an old soul in a young man. Why so formal?”

That’s a good question. Maybe…maybe it’s because Bram and my middle school and high school experience wasn’t conventional. And that maybe there is a comfort in being a part of a conventional process. Plus, it’s respectful and is bound to earn me brownie points with the possible new in-laws.

“I trust my gut, Tracy. My gut told me formal.”

“Trust your gut, Simon. It’s made all sorts of great decisions. But I have one, very important question for you.”

I clear my throat. “Uh, yes, of course.”

“Do we have more wine?”

We laugh and Tracy explains it’s getting late and excuses herself back to her hotel room.

When I check my phone, I have a few missed texts from Bram.

Hey! I hope Mom is going easy on you. Be careful, she will try to judge how you seasoned the fish, but I’m confident you’ll pass. I taught you well. I can see you both eating the food right now and I’m super jealous I can’t be there. Well, not super jealous if Mom talks about her lecture, which she will. Text me when you can! I know you’re being courteous and won’t check your phone while she’s there. I’m so confident in that fact that I’m going to send you a picture.

Below that text was a well-curated picture of Bram’s nether region.

                                                                                                Bram! Scandalous! Though you were right, Tracy just left. We finished a bottle of wine, sorry I got her tipsy! You’re right, she did talk about her lecture, but it’s focused on female anatomy, something we needn’t worry. I love you Bram. I love you so much. And that picture, you better be careful or it may start something.

 . .. … Start something, huh? I’m not afraid. Show me what you got! ;)

You can imagine what the rest of the night turned into.

#Love simon #simonverse #simon vs #svthsa #simon x bram #simon spier #bram greenfeld #gay love #love #love simon fanfiction #love simon fic #my fic

[travelita]

Your Guide to Making Friends on the Road

Guest article by Jen Nilsson

As you plan for your solo trip, you may feel a nagging worry. One that you try to suppress while you focus on the excitement of what’s to come, but a worry that needles at you none the less. That worry is loneliness.

It’s an understandable concern. When I packed my bags for my first solo adventure, I also packed a whole lot of worries with me. I was newly alone after my partner died of a swift and brutal cancer and, though I was looking forward to escaping my life for a while, I was also fretting about being lonely.

One of the most surprising lessons that I learned on the road was that solo travel does not necessarily mean traveling alone. You will meet many other like-minded travelers and welcoming locals.

Here are some of the ways that I learned to leave my concerns about loneliness behind while making friends on the road:

Embrace Communal Space

I don’t mean staying in a hostel, necessarily. Hostels were certainly a great option for me for a while, but as an introverted extrovert who enjoys alone time and does not enjoy bunk beds, I usually don’t do the hostel thing.

However, there are so many other ways to enjoy communal space!

Consider renting a room with a local host using Airbnb. This provides you with your own space but allows for an opportunity to make a new friend of your local host.

Another option that I love is TrustedHousesitters. Using this arrangement, no money is exchanged between house sitter and homeowner, and you will have your own space. However, you will be responsible for caring for the home and, often, the homeowner’s animals. I love this option because it is very budget friendly in that there is no cost for the accommodation, but you will also meet and spend time with the homeowner. I have made many new friends (both human and puppy!) this way.

Using TrustedHousesitters also necessitates trips to another communal space: dog parks!

If you do not want to walk a dog, look for restaurants with communal tables. While it can be a little intimidating to sit down alone at a communal table, you will get over this quickly as the people next to you will often include you in their conversation immediately.

Choose a Neighborhood to Love

When searching for accommodations, research neighborhood with a vibe that you love. I’m a writer, so I often search for neighborhoods with a writing or artist community. Then I really get to know the neighborhood using some of these methods:

Spend your first night at the local pub and sit at the bar. Ask the bartender about places to visit in the neighborhood. Since this is a local pub, everyone seated at the bar will have an opinion and will likely chime in. I made many new friends this way while traveling solo.

Pro tip: Don’t want to drink? Order a non-alcoholic ginger beer in a pint glass.

Do your grocery shopping at the local farmers market.

Look for a neighborhood website or a neighborhood blog that features upcoming events in the area.

Find a local coffee shop and read the local paper there every morning of your trip. You will get to know the locals and the local news this way.

Entertain Spontaneity

You’ve heard of the old throw the dart at the map trick, right? Personally, I’m too Type-A to randomly pick my next travel destination from a tossed dart, but why not pick an event for one night randomly?

That same local coffee shop that you’ve been visiting will likely have a community board with upcoming events. Randomly select one that catches your eye and go to that local book reading, poetry slam or volunteer opportunity.

Checkout Groups and Local Meetups

You’ve probably already scanned your social media contacts for anybody who might live in the area, but what about posting a message to your favorite groups to see if anybody lives nearby?

Girls Love Travel is a huge network for female travelers.

Meetup.com features local events within specific categories like “outdoors & adventure” or “arts” or “sports”.

Travelita’s Travel Community is also a great way for solo female travelers to connect.

Go on a Group Food Tour with a Local

Booking a group food tour is one of the things that I love to do immediately upon arriving in a new destination. Getting to know the way that people eat in any given destination is getting to know the culture of the place. Doing a group tour also allows you to meet new people, including the local guide.

Go on a Multi-Day Group Trip

I like to stay in a place for an extended period of time, really getting to know the neighborhood. But, when I’m not housesitting, I also book overnight group trips during my extended stay, so that I can explore the surrounding area with a group of people and a local guide. This makes for a good balance between group time and alone time, and provides an opportunity to meet other like-minded travelers.

Take a Class

Cooking, wine tasting, painting, coffee brewing, the list goes on and on. Look at Airbnb Experiences for group classes that will have you learning and laughing in no time.

Travel for a Specific Reason & Stay a Bit Longer

Into books or music or yoga? Travel for a festival or event but stay on longer after the event is over. You will meet new friends at the event who live in the area or who are traveling in the area.

I discovered this guaranteed way to make like-minded friends after attending the Bali Spirit Festival in Ubud. I only attended the festival for one day, but I stayed in Ubud for a month, meeting many fellow yogis like me.

Use an App

I don’t mean dating apps, necessarily, though both Bumble and Tinder have the ability to filter for a friend search.

Travello is an app for meeting other travelers, Tourlina is an app for female travelers seeking to meet other female travelers, and Travel Buddies is an app for meeting travelers with similar itineraries or even local guides.

Also, check out Reddit and your destination’s subreddit to discover events or attractions in the area that locals are talking about. 

Travel with a Small Offering

I learned this tip while walking the Camino de Santiago, a pilgrimage across Spain. One of the women that I walked with brought stickers that read “no vino, no Camino”. She gave these stickers out to fellow pilgrims and, more often than not, those pilgrims asked us where we would be having a drink that evening. We met so many people just by giving away something small that represented who we were and what we liked to do.

I saw another traveler who brought a portable printer with him. He then immediately printed out the pictures that he took and handed his new friends the small, but precious gift of a photograph. Small gifts are excellent ways to meet people and to maintain an ongoing friendship.

Many times, people, especially travelers, are craving that kind of contact.

A fellow solo traveler – who is now a friend – taught me a very simple lesson when I met him on a rooftop in Kuala Lumpur. He said that meeting another traveler on the road is just like the moment when two children meet. There are no expectations. There is only an authentic curiosity about the soul of another.

About the Lens of Jen (lensofjen.org)

Jen Nilsson is a full-time travel blogger who changed everything about her life when her fiancé died of cancer at the age of 40.

After learning the hard way that life is too short to delay our dreams, Jen quit her corporate job, ditched high-heels for a backpack, and set out to see the world.

She now believes that life-changing moments exist outside the comfort zone. She has walked 500 miles across Spain on the Camino de Santiago, learned to surf in Bali, tried (and failed) to learn to scuba dive on a Thailand island, and finally, at the age of 37,  learned to ride a bike while cycling through the vineyards of France.

The Lens of Jen is all about embracing a new “lens” on life when things don’t shake out quite the way you planned.

YouTube: youtube.com/thelensofjen

Instagram/Twitter/Medium – @lensofjen

Free your travels, be a Travelita! #travelita #iamatravelita

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[biofunmy]

In a Year of Perpetual Motion, Moments That Stopped Time

The 52 Places Traveler

Looking back on a whirlwind journey around the world, the 52 Places Traveler revisits the experiences that offered lessons for travel — and life.

Jan. 6, 2020

On my second day back in New York I walked into my neighborhood bodega and the Yemeni man behind the counter did a double take.

“Damn, bro, what happened? I thought you were dead!” he said.

The following night, I went to pick up an order at the Indian restaurant two blocks from my apartment.

“Long time, no see,” said the Bangladeshi manager who, since I’ve been gone, has grown a bushy beard. “Where have you been?”

What happened? Where have I been? After nearly a year in perpetual transit, hopping between the far-flung spots on 2019’s 52 Places to Go list, these are not easy questions to answer. Maybe a more cohesive picture of a once-in-a-lifetime year will crystallize with time. For now, the best I can do is draw out the moments that float on the surface of my memory, the ones I’m most grateful for, as they taught me invaluable lessons not only about the world, but also about myself. And isn’t that why we travel?

1. When I said yes to goat-carcass games and urban lions

By the third hour in a field on the outskirts of Samarkand, Uzbekistan, my hair had taken on the hue of the dust that filled the air in roaming clouds. Every time I smiled, which was often, more dust poured into my mouth. Two hundred men on horseback galloped back and forth across the dry grass, in pursuit of their target: a goat carcass stuffed full of sand. Shouts from the riders, the whinnying of horses and the cheers of thousands of spectators filled the air. At one point, being the only foreigner — and so a guest of honor — I was invited to ride on the truck that drove onto the field to drop the goat and start each round of kopkari, a sport that originated with the nomadic herders who inhabited these steppes 1,000 years ago.

Six months later and 5,000 miles away, in a small suburb of Dakar, Senegal, “false lions” — men channeling the spirit of the animal — growled, leapt and twirled in elaborate costumes. Drums thundered at earsplitting volumes and children shrieked in delight as the lions chased them through the fluorescently lit streets.

There’s a natural tendency to plan our travels down to the minute: We want to make sure we’re getting the most out of a trip that uses up our valuable money and vacation time. Toward the beginning of the year, I spent hours planning each stop — going over notes on the plane ride and sketching out what each day might look like. By my final stop, I barely knew where I was going to stay until the day before I arrived. The sweet spot is probably somewhere in between, with enough planning to know where you’re going but enough flexibility to say yes to the unexpected. New friends and the currents of serendipity brought me to the horses and the lions — and gave me two experiences I’ll never forget.

2. When I became a member of the guild

Hanging from the zipper of my camera bag is a small, bronze key. It grants me access to the backdoor of the Christian IV’s Guild clubhouse in the Danish city of Aalborg. Over the past year, I’ve accumulated soccer jerseys, paintings and a handwritten poem about an Italian horse, but this key, a symbol of my membership in a Danish society with roots in World War II, has to be the oddest gift. How I got it is just one of many examples of how dropping your guard and letting strangers into your life can lead to experiences far outside the realm of conventional tourism.

It started with Kit Sorensen, a friend twice-removed, who I met on my first afternoon in Aalborg. By the evening, she had taken off work for the remainder of the week to show me around. She took me out for pickled fish and aquavit, the straight-to-your-head spirit that Danes insist on drinking with lunch. Together, we explored World War II bunkers and the city-within-a-city of Fjordbyen. Sensing that I craved a home-cooked meal, she invited me to her family’s house, where I made even more friends — and got invited by a stranger to join the Christian IV’s Guild because he felt that “I had what it takes.”

When traveling alone, it’s up to you how alone you really are. Sit at a bar and take a break from your phone and in minutes you’ll be getting a laundry list of things to do from a local — as I did in Munich, in Danang, in Tunis. You might be invited to their homes — as I was in Georgia, Puerto Rico, Bulgaria. In a quiet bar in the small Japanese city of Takamatsu you might find yourself the only customer, going on a deep dive into salsa and New Orleans jazz with a cat-loving bartender who you would have never known if you hadn’t smiled and said “hello.”

There are walls that as a man traveling alone I didn’t have to put up. Being ethnically ambiguous was also, it turns out, my superpower, blending into the streets of so many places around the world, walking home at night and not even getting a second glance from locals. One’s experience of the world so often depends on one’s identity, and I can only speak to mine. At the same time, I believe that, in general, travelers will encounter kindness far more often than hostility. An open mind, a willingness to learn and an acknowledgment of our own ignorance about a new place or culture flings the doors that separate us wide open. Just ask all my new pen pals.

3. When I became my own best friend on a Norwegian fjord

Before a six-hour solo hike in the fjords surrounding Bergen, Norway, I intentionally left my headphones at home. It was sunny — a rarity for one of Europe’s rainiest cities — and I wanted to be present. It worked. I felt the light, cold breeze; I could smell the dewy grass and feel the foamlike tundra giving way under my boots. Six hours is a lot of time to be walking with nothing but your thoughts, but not once did I feel bored.

When I started this trip, the thought of spending so much time alone was one of my biggest worries. I’m an extrovert by nature. By my third month on the move, I was getting used to it. By my ninth, I was having full-on conversations with myself — out loud.

There’s something beautiful about learning to be comfortable with yourself — especially on the road. I could zero in on moments more completely without worrying whether a companion was having a good time. I could create memories that would be mine and mine alone — building blocks for my development as a person.

I was lonely, too, of course. I cried on the side of a Wyoming highway because John Prine’s “Summer’s End” came on the radio (“Come on home, you don’t have to be alone”); during a nearly four-hour meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant on the Dutch island of Texel, I fell into the abyss of staring at my phone; more than once I dreamed about being on my couch at home, with my partner and cat. But over time, I learned to see those moments coming and lean into them. That threw the distinction between heart-wrenching loneliness and blissful solitude into relief; it made the moments of connection with strangers that much more magical. Solo travel is so many things, psychological roller coaster included.

4. When I crossed the risk line on a dark Chilean highway

It was stupid, plain and simple. After getting off a series of canceled, rerouted and delayed flights that took me from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, to Santiago, Chile, over the course of about 40 hours, I stumbled into a rental car just after sunset and hit the road for the town of La Serena. I was heading 300 miles north to get closer to where I’d be viewing the solar eclipse in a few days. It was about 40 degrees Fahrenheit, but I drove with the windows down and wore a T-shirt, hoping the cold would keep me awake. I blared death metal as loud as the car speakers could handle. I drank coffee like water. One tollbooth worker, seeing my disheveled and wired state, asked me if I was okay. I pulled into La Serena well after midnight.

This year was full of risks; they come with the job when traveling at the pace I was, alone and looking for stories to tell. Within just a few days of traveling this year, it was clear that some risks are worth taking. Getting into a car with that nice stranger promising a plate of life-changing pork in Puerto Rico’s interior? I can handle that. Solo hiking through the snowy Tatra Mountains of Slovakia? Armed with a trail map, I’m good. Driving for five and a half hours in an unfamiliar country, at night, after a hellish flight and no sleep? Nope: That was stupid.

In talking to friends, it quickly became clear that my threshold for risk is different from others’ (“Are you nuts?” my partner asked, after I told her about my night in the woods outside Batumi, Georgia, drinking myself blind with a bunch of strangers). But travel is ultimately a game of choose-your-own-adventure and part of that choice is figuring out the risks you’re comfortable taking. It’s a learning process and there will be mistakes — there sure were for me this year.

By Land and Sea

48 boat rides, 45 train trips

5. When my plans went to hell and I survived

There was the late night in a hotel in Salvador, Brazil, booking a trip to Mexico that would start the following morning, after my plans to get to the Falkland Islands, also known as the Islas Malvinas, had imploded. A total meltdown at the airport had led to check-in lines that extended past the terminal’s entrance. Despite arriving four hours before my flight and checking in online, I missed my flight — and as a result the once-weekly flight to the Falklands.

There was that scorching hot morning at the port in Banjul, Gambia, where my brother and I had no choice but to wait the four hours until a ferry finally arrived. I sweated out every drop of moisture in my body; I downed two liters of water and sweated that out, too, until the also-shadeless ferry arrived.

There was the carefully arranged Airbnb in La Serena that my host canceled with no explanation, just days before my arrival to watch the solar eclipse. I spent most of a night in Mexico, on spotty Wi-Fi looking for alternatives in a city that would be tripling in population for the eclipse.

There was the moment, three months in, when we had to make the call to cut Iran from my travel plans. The geopolitical situation had grown tense and even if I were given a journalist visa (unlikely), we had security concerns. It made the regular messages I received from Iranians on Instagram welcoming me to their country and offering to be my hosts all the more heartbreaking.

Things go wrong when traveling. And there’s something about the places of travel — airports, ferry terminals, train stations, hotels — that magnify feelings of panic and sadness. It’s a powerlessness we’re not used to when we think we have every detail of a trip planned out.

I learned that there’s very little you can do when your plans fall apart. I learned to pinpoint the small actions I could take and leave everything else to play out without me. I started on a long, circuitous route to Mexico the next day and pushed my Falklands trip to later in the month. The ferry did arrive — and 24 hours later, my brother and I were on a boat floating feet away from wild chimpanzees. I found another Airbnb at the last minute, and so what if it was a little farther out of the city? I kept in touch with my new online Iranian friends, promising that one day I would make it there — and I will.

Traveling is an incredible privilege and it’s mind-boggling how easy it is these days to cross the planet. Reminding myself of that got me through many a moment this year that previously would have left me a weepy mess on an airport floor.

under the sea

11 total hours underwater

6. When “no one goes there now” became my time to go

Travel itself, regardless of destination, is taking its toll on the environment: The most frequent, and valid, criticism I’ve received this year is for my Sasquatch-size carbon footprint. While no one at the Times is encouraging everyone to go to 52 places in a year — I’d think again if you are planning on trying this yourself — I also don’t believe the answer is not to travel. To see the natural wonder that still abounds; to encounter the places that are on the verge of catastrophic change because of a warming planet; to meet the people who deal with its effects every day and forge real, profound, cross-cultural connections makes for a more informed, empathetic world. That doesn’t mean there aren’t steps we can take to be more responsible travelers. And part of that is realizing that sustainability goes beyond carbon emissions.

The Falklands in the dead of winter, when I had a colony of King penguins to myself; Mexico in the crushing heat of summer, when the beaches were empty; Senegal and Gambia during the most humid month of the year, when locals were actually excited to see visitors who had braved it; Siberia’s Lake Baikal, in neither the glorious summer nor the spectacularly frozen winter, but instead in autumn, when the trees burn bright yellow.

In planning my trip and limiting cross-continental treks as much as possible, it proved difficult to be everywhere at the “right” time to visit. But again and again, I found myself falling for low season, when it was far easier to blend into the fabric of daily life because I wasn’t just part of a horde of tourists changing the face of entire cities for months at a time.

Cities like Venice — or even Zadar, in Croatia, as I saw when I arrived in the summer — are buckling under the weight of overtourism. As travelers, we could make a difference by spreading the wealth, so to speak. That means, for the most adventurous, going to places that are still hard to get to; it took me two tries to get to the Falklands and three to get out, but that made it special. But it also means thinking outside the “Europe in summer” paradigm.

taking to the skies

40 airlines, 88 flights (only 1 missed flight)

7. When I really learned what a “place to go” is

There’s beauty, surprise and genuine wonder to be found everywhere — and I mean everywhere. A Vegas naysayer can have his mind changed through a chance encounter with a crew of rockabilly musicians. A half-Indian student of history can learn about a mighty Indian empire, of which he knew nothing, by coming face-to-face with its ruins. A traveler can come home after 11 grueling months of continuous travel and start dreaming of where he’s going next.

But first, some sleep.

Sahred From Source link Travel

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#IFTTT #WordPress

[workingontravel]

“Why do you travel so much?”

(You can read a Swedish translation of this text here.) A couple of years ago, I realised that one of the people waiting for the same plane from Paris to Stockholm was a colleague, choreographer Dinis Machado. As we started talking about our lives, he told me of the hardships in a year of constant touring. There was something about the way he told it that is emblematic of a life that has been mine and still is for many of my friends. I began thinking about what it means for us to have this collective yet potentially lonely experience of intense travel for work. So the encounter with Dinis at an airport in Paris was somehow the starting point for this interview project. Because of this, he was the first person I wanted to interview. I asked him how he experiences his relationship to travelling; the history and future of that relationship. His answers gave me many stories. Here are a few of them.

Dinis Machado: My identity is based on processes of moving. With this I mean that my entire private life is adapted to migration as such, rather than to just touring for work. 

I moved from my hometown Porto, the second biggest city in Portugal, in 2005, when I was eighteen. My passage through Lisbon was very formative in how I make art, but I always felt like a tourist there. Moving to the capital from the second biggest city, I was viewed a bit like a wannabe. The social networks I started building in Lisbon were, of course, much more fragile than for someone who had lived there all their life. At the same time, this anonymity had an amazing side. I moved to Lisbon at around the same time I came out as a gay person. I don’t know if it was a tactic really – I moved there because of art, but discovering my sexuality while being away from everything that was me before meant something to my possibilities of experimentation. New relationships happened in synchronicity with a new identity. We are in a time when sexuality is changing a lot. There are these apps that everyone uses. People have a very non-monogamic life in that sense. But I don’t think they always claim it politically. They do it on the side, in the dark, in the back corridor. I think because I don’t have a family pattern holding me in place, I allow myself to claim it. And my art is also more and more about that. This said, I am very interested in alternative ways of thinking about relationships, not only as a result of all my travelling, but also from the very beginning of my life. From the moment you stop believing that a relationship is only one thing, you also start to see the multiplicity of social structures. You can see what a relationship actually contains, with or without sex, cinema, talking about personal problems… Different structures and different qualities of intimacy interest me. The economic crisis in Portugal escalated when I was living in Lisbon. Even my mother, who is a primary school teacher working for the government, had her salary reduced. The salaries no longer adapted to inflation, and new taxes were added, so people were actually receiving less money. While I was establishing myself as an artist, it was more and more difficult to live on it. There was very little state funding for the arts. Institutions that used to have it lost it, and went for the project grants. Starting artists like me could not enter anymore. I always got money from a private foundation, but never from the government. The first year I applied, I was number three on the list of people closest to getting it, and when I left Portugal in 2012, when the crisis peaked, I was thirty places down.

This was a consequence of the right-wing politics inspired by the debt repayment requests from the IMF. But the loans that caused Portugal’s debt were used in a way that didn’t give anything of what the richer countries in Europe have. Repaying them just made things worse. At times, unemployment was around 40% for people below the age of 35. People were losing their houses to the banks, and foreigners bought a lot of the real estate. The percentage of apartments turned into Airbnbs in Portugal is just insane. 

Nowadays, they consider the country to have recovered, because there are less unemployed people. But the jobs are stuff like baking, making beds or handing out keys for Airbnbs. There is low unemployment, but everyone has a 600€ job (which is the minimum wage in Portugal). All the big profits are leaving the country or going to the few who are already wealthy. Portugal’s situation is, in a way, approaching that of countries like Brazil, where the gap between rich and poor is widening.

For these reasons, it became more and more absurd for me to try to make a living from art. I was fed up, but I didn’t want to drop all my efforts and work in a café somewhere. So, I was moving more and more, within Portugal and sometimes abroad. No one really knew where I lived. I spent as little money as I could on accommodation, renting only when it was absolutely necessary for work. In the end, the only funding I could get in Portugal was a grant to work abroad. When I decided to leave Portugal, I had come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t start new relationships there. I suspended any attachment. Doing another art education was a shortcut to a context where I could continue to produce my work, while taking it easier for a while. I had been struggling so much. That is how I ended up in Sweden. But as a foreigner, you can’t get Swedish funding for studies. And the cost of living in Sweden is three times higher than in Portugal. Together with my mother, I managed to convince a bank to lend me 500€ per month for two years to study. I knew that it was practically impossible to live on that, but I just made a leap into the dark. This loan had a ticking clock built into it. Every month, I received less because they deducted the interest for the money I had already borrowed. So even though I started out with 500€/month, it was about 350€ towards the end of the two years. By that time, I was living on a boat with a nice community of students and artists. It was fucking cold in the winter, but in a way I loved it. But towards the second year, my situation got complicated, because my loan had shrunk a lot. I couldn’t get funding for my work in Sweden since I was a student. So I got jobs: as a bike messenger, as a nude model… But I still didn’t want to quit art or my studies to make a living. In the end, I asked to get the money from the loan faster. I took out the last 3000€ at once and bought a caravan. I parked it close to a public swimming pool in Stockholm where I had a gym membership. I lived there and used the showers at the swimming pool. Both the boat and the caravan were tough and lonely experiences in a way. But they were also extremely liberating. I allow myself to take risks now, because I know I can get by on very little. It will still be ok – or not ok, because it’s a very precarious way of living. But I resisted a certain minimum bourgeois life style by crossing these lines, and it made me conscious of how all of Europe is divided through them. Everyone in the EU supposedly has the same rights, but we know that this is’nt true. The southern countries do all the manual labour that the northern countries don’t want to do. Then, my life changed again. The Cullberg Ballet/Life Long Burning was offering this one-off grant for young choreographers and I got it. It allowed me to work, get new funding and do a production that was invited to the ImPulsTanz festival. That, in turn, led to a lot of touring. I’m still very much a touring artist. I tour to small venues, institutional festivals, places in South America… a bit outside the central European circuit. Maybe the fact that they don’t book me as much there has to do with that DIY aesthetics that they might lack some understanding for, because their material base is so different from mine. I do almost everything myself. My stage sets all fit in to a travelling bag, and they are small, foldable or inflatable. My friend says I will be a tent engineer when I stop being a dancer. Everything travels with me, and nothing is disposable. All this tent-ness of my work is practical for touring, but it’s also connected to the precariousness of my life. I very rarely stay in hotels. I tour with so little money. If a friend doesn’t host me, I usually book Airbnbs, despite what I have seen this business model doing to Portugal. Apart from my sets, I travel very lightly: my computer, one or two pairs of trousers and jumpers, seven t-shirts, seven pairs of socks, seven pairs of underwear. I “drag” normality in a way. As a performer, people have so many opinions about every step you take. I don’t feel I have the space to make statements. Even here in Stockholm, I use the same amount of clothes. I got used to it when touring. I own more extrovert and less masculine garments that I really like, but I use them mostly in performances, where it’s easier for me to embrace non-binary gender.

I had a different period in Sweden, for three years when I had a boyfriend and we were living together. Then we separated. When we split up, I lost so many parts of my life, not just the relationship but also my home and a lot of friends. Before entering the relationship, I had more of an alternative community around me that was very unwelcomed by my partner. At the time of the breakup, I was already distanced from some of the people who could have helped me. That year, I just travelled so much. Because I didn’t have an apartment, I just booked as much travel for work abroad as I could. At the same time, this was the first occasion in Sweden that I had a proper budget for a project. So I was attached to the country in that way, in a functional relationship with funding bodies. But I was physically exhausted from moving between countries, more than from touring. Touring is not a restructuring of life, but moving is. Touring became home. Travelling was a constant. I love trains. I love planes. I can travel for ten hours. It makes me feel safe. Phones are off, and there is this set time frame that I can use to focus on one thing at a time. Being on stage was a way for me to “turn off” during that period. Stages are one structure; you know how to operate there. In the midst of administration, travelling, arriving and setting up, that one hour of performing was actually peaceful. I think it’s because dancing is the only thing I have in my life that actually comes from a very early age. I started dancing professionally when I was six. It made me feel like I had a history. That is in contrast to always being surrounded by producers or others whom I had only met in the last three days. Or even friends in Stockholm – or in places where I toured – friends who had known me for less than three years. These people had no idea who I used to be, who I was in my early twenties. Almost the only thing that had been long-term in my life was that everything was short-term. All the things that were part of my personal life before the migration period were kind of erased. It was traumatic. At a certain point, there was only administration of all my travels, caravan problems, boat problems, money problems. All my narratives were about that. And then I made a piece about it. It’s called Cyborg Sunday.

The fact that I can work in English is what allowed me to survive in Sweden until now. My Portuguese is more or less gone. Nowadays, I think in English. When I speak English with someone here, we meet on common ground, since it’s foreign for both of us. When I try to get around with Swedish, the situation is very unequal. The other is speaking their native tongue, and I am speaking a language that I started learning “yesterday”. Maybe it’s about pride for me. I want to be able to express complex thoughts. I mean, I read philosophy. I’m not in a rush to speak baby language.

Until very recently, my life was an emergency of getting money to live. Because of that, I only speak coffee Swedish. I hear people saying it’s a game-changer to speak Swedish, but I think that’s a lie. Although I love how Sweden allows me to produce work, I doubt that I will ever be viewed as a Swedish person. It’s a very white context, super segregated. This is contradictory, since Sweden has a long history of hosting exiled communities and cultures. But there is a discomfort with the other. “Foreigner” comes before anything. Sometimes it can be like a tender otherness, but you will never pass.

A while ago, I started to use “we” when speaking about things going on in Sweden. “Because we here in Sweden do this and that…” People would get confused. I also applied for Swedish citizenship last September, to be able to vote and to make that symbolic gesture of belonging here. They told me I need five years in Sweden – I’ve been here for six – but I am only allowed to have travelled eight weeks abroad per year, because that’s what they consider a standard vacation. All absence from the country above those eight weeks is deducted from the amount of time I have lived in Sweden. So I’m not even close.

Now that my life is a bit calmer – I have an apartment, I manage to live ok on what I earn and so on – suddenly all these questions of who I am came back. For a while I was depressed. I was wondering where “I” am in all this administration of life. But I concluded that there could be no separation between work and self. Throughout my twenties, this is what became peculiar with my identity. I don’t care about traditional family values. My life just has another structure. My friendships are on and off and intense. I see friends in Chile or Brazil once a year, once every two years. We are like family, but we don’t talk so much when I’m not there. I hate digital communication, texting, and e-mails. We use the time when we are together. I arrive and it’s like it was yesterday. We just hang out 24/7. With my friends in Sweden it’s the same, in a way. I get in touch when I’m back from travelling, and I schedule seeing them. One thing that I do differently now is that I actually try to plan my work travel in a way that allows more space for these relationships. For example, I’m going to Brazil to perform for three days, but then I’m actually staying an extra week to be there with my friend and join her in her daily life and check out the art scene. I also have certain rules for myself now. I try not to travel more than two weeks per month. I prefer staying some weeks in one place, making several shows or teaching or something. I also prefer to engage local people when I need dramaturge or a stage assistant, rather than bringing a team with me. This is both for economic, social and political reasons; these cannot be separated.

You asked me what would happen if I couldn’t fly anymore. I try to imagine touring being organised so that you go from city to city by train on a consecutive route instead of flying all over. It’s not like me to say this, but I think that is very close to impossible today. I am already pushing the production structures so much to be able to just work. It’s extremely difficult to negotiate. You negotiate for years and when a date comes you just need to take it. Often, these are dates for festivals or specific empty slots in a programme and you just take it or leave it. There is rarely space to discuss this month or the other. I’m pretty concerned with environmental questions, but sometimes I feel people misplace the responsibility on the individual dancer travelling for work. It’s still far more environmentally friendly that a performer travels to present their work to a whole audience than the audience travelling to see the performance in a different place. To change the travelling patterns of contemporary dance would be possible, but not something artists can do alone, and I am not sure venues are so concerned that they would be open to restructuring the way they programme to make a difference. It seems easy to turn to a dancer and say, “Why do you travel so much?” But it’s extremely difficult to work around it within the established structures of production and touring.

#dinismachado #english #workingontravel #trainsandboatsandplanes

[estchange]

End of Exchange I: Changes

Stasis would be a tragedy, given that I’ve spent thousands of hard-earned dollars on my adventure of a lifetime to see the world. Perhaps even more tragic would be a failure to document these changes on a public platform because what’s an accomplishment if no one knows about it? 

Anyway, my adventure of a lifetime wasn’t very life-changing. 

I would say though, that I did realise certain things about myself, and that I did learn certain things as well. So here’s my first post-exchange post - I’ll try to organise it so it’s not verbal diarrhea and also so that I’m forced to think about things to make my exchange more meaningful. 

I am a loser, and I’m okay with being one.

Before exchange, my preferred activity for leisure and relaxation was to stay cooped up in my room, facing my sleekass macbook screen. Social activities are fine, but they’re draining and I mostly participate in them because of social obligations (I’m sorry @ any friends reading this). I can go hours without talking to anyone, the best company is my own company, the best place to be is my little room, the best thing to do is nothing at all. 

Susan Cain would love me very much and I am flattered that she believes in my revolutionary powers even though I mostly just sit at home doing nothing revolutionary. I am basically a very stereotypical #Introvert. Synonyms include “loser”, “nerd”, “teacher’s pet”, “closer mugger”, and common conversation topics are “CAN YOU REPLY MY MESSAGE” or “WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET”. 

I’m not enthusiastic about most things, though it’s easier to hide this online because CAPITALISATION REALLY HELPS. I’m awkward and don’t know what to say all the time, I’m not the most interesting person either so that doesn’t help, and my throat literally gets sore if I speak too loudly too long. 

During exchange, I rarely (-if ever) interacted with my airbnb hosts unless it was necessary. One of my reviews even said that I was pretty much invisible, and really, any interaction with my hosts just bring me a lot of unwarranted problems. And in all my solo trips, I didn’t interact with anyone unless necessary, and in classrooms I kept to myself etc. etc. 

I do understand the perks of not being introverted, especially when on exchange because there are so many opportunities for cultural exchange, self development, friendships, and I might even have gotten myself a rich Norwegian husband to marry - and trust me, I am not proud or happy about my introversion - but I think that exchange has made me a lot more comfortable with being a loser. 

I guess mostly because it’s my most comfortable state, but I’ve also realised that I do things a lot better when I’m left alone. I think a lot better, I’m more myself, I’m not struggling to force conversations from my dried up raisin of a brain. 

I’m much more comfortable with just being on my own and I’m really glad for my solo trips. Perhaps this isn’t a positive change because I’m pretty much more convinced that there’s no point trying to be extroverted, but I don’t think I care much about that anymore. 

I’m clearer about what I want.

Norway is very different from Singapore. I’ve always disliked the noise and crowds of Singapore but I never knew if a quieter place was for me, and I guess I never knew how much quiet I preferred. 

Living in my own tiny room for five-ish months was also a huge departure from life in Singapore (even though I mostly hide in my room anyway…), and so was having to travel on my own in a foreign place far from my family and friends. 

But going through exchange has made me realise that:

I like the quiet a lot. Kind of a no-shit-sherlock point but yes. 

I do, however, still want some form of city life around…mostly the shopping part of city life. Oslo has a very dismal shopping culture compared to Singapore, but I guess that’s not really a huge problem since I don’t buy much anyway. 

Nature! Is! Great! It’s relaxing and quiet, and it’s nice being able to hear the birds chirping around and the little streams wooshing away. I’m 100x more likely to head out if there’s a bit of nature out there, and especially so if the weather is more forgiving. 

Related to the first point about being a loser - I like solitude. I want to live alone and be able to do things on my own. 

The sad thing is that Singapore is so, so far from what I want. And very few countries in the world are. Bergen is one of my favourite cities in the world (yes, even with its dismal shopping culture), but moving to Norway seems impossible so I’ll have to settle. 

— 

There are also plenty of other changes:

I am apparently fairer? I don’t see it but I guess it makes sense since there wasn’t much sun. 

My hair is more manageable. Mostly thanks to the discovery of Lush’s R&B. 

I am more independent I think. 

Handling my own finances isn’t as scary a thought now. 

My skin got drier. And because of that, I have more scratches that are taking ages to heal. 

I am better at packing my bags and cleaning my room. 

I am less caught up in planning, and less inflexible - my first solo trip to Amsterdam, I had a detailed itinerary planned out for each day, but my solo trips became increasingly spontaneous. It’s mostly because my first solo trip was really scary for me, and as I went along, I realised that travelling was quite straightforward, and Google Maps was a really good travelling companion that did all the work so that allowed for more flexibility. But my nerves were also a mess before Amsterdam, and the experience + learning about travelling made everything a lot less scary and stressful for me. 

I’m sure there are plenty of other little changes but having a sharper mind is not one of them, so I can’t recall any others. These have, so far, been pretty positive changes but there are obviously negative ones as well - most prominent of all would probably be my complete and utter lack of motivation and discipline for school. And I’ll be in my final year in two months. 

So basically, TLDR:

I am clearer (and more comfortable?) about who I am and

I am clearer about what I want.

Are these realisations (changes?) worth the thousands of dollars I’ve spent? 

Maybe a few years down the road, I’ll grow cynical and bitter and boring and stupid, and I’ll think that my exchange was a complete waste of money. Stasis wouldn’t be tragic then, and I hope someone punches me hard if that ever comes to be. 

Obviously, five months overseas is not going to bring about much change, and I don’t expect it to. There were things that I did want to change about myself and was hopeful that exchange would magically do that, but I guess that would be for another post. 

#text #post exchange #this is very long idk why i'm always so long-winded

[airbnbfestivals]

How to handle a chatty, lonely, overkill host?

I’m one week into a two-week stay in a garage apartment where the host lives in the main house upstairs. From the minute I made (and paid for) the reservation, I was hit with a barrage of texts from her, asking me to text her my number, send a photo (even though there are plenty on my profile), let her know when I’ll be arriving (although I was driving and it was still a week away), etc. She messaged me daily until my arrival date and I would’ve canceled the reservation then and there if the cancellation policy wouldn’t have screwed me out of what I’d paid.I arrived after a barrage of texts during my six-hour drive asking tons of questions (and I really don’t like to text and drive but they all seemed to need an answer immediately). Upon arrival, she gives me a 30-minute tour of a 400-square-foot studio, then proceeds to talk to me for 45 more minutes. At this point, I’ve driven six hours and just want to rest.After this, I’m wary of running into her and my misgivings hold water. I run into her as I’m sitting in my car, getting ready to do an evening hike before the sun sets. She catches me before I turn the engine on and proceeds to talk for the next half an hour.Throughout the week, she’s sent me messages, dropped off gym class schedules, etc. She made soup, cookies, and bread upon my arrival. It’s all very nice, right? Absolutely. But it’s overwhelming.The icing on the cake happened yesterday when I asked if I could do a load of laundry. Laundry is included in this rental, but the laundry units are on her side of the house. I knew I was taking a gamble because I’d be held captive with no excuses to go anywhere or do anything else.I was right. Three hours later, she’s still talking. I exclaim, “Oh my god, it’s 9:30!” when I nonchalantly check my watch. I still had to do laundry and get ready for my work week (I work remotely). I had tried multiple times to find a polite out, including the fact that there was a draft blowing in through her place and I was wearing the only clean clothes I had: shorts and a tee. She even noted, “You must be freezing!” I said I was, but she kept talking.That brings us to today. I am stuffy and sniffly and just annoyed that I’m here for another week having to deal with the dread of running into her. She’s a wonderful person, she really is. But it seems that she’s looking to me to fulfill some of her conversational needs, and that’s not something I bargained for (or paid for). I’m as extroverted as they come (which is probably why I didn’t shut her down) but even I don’t have that kind of time to waste.How do I handle this without being rude to my host? And do I mention this in my review or stay quiet? Found here ''' Get $20 off your first AirBnB stay.

#vacation #family #place to stay #airbnb #hotel #holiday #gratitude

[artofpeacelove]

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You’ve probably heard of the Myers-Briggs personality types—the 16 distinct profiles made up of four letters: introverted (I) or extroverted (E), intuitive (N) or sensing (S), thinking (T) or feeling (F), and judging (J) or perceiving (P). But those letters also make up the eight cognitive functions, which tell a deeper story that’s critical to understanding how you operate in the world. For instance, if you’ve ever struggled to relate to how your partner, friend, or colleague feels on a given subject—whether it’s politics, friends, or anything else—checking out that person’s Myers-Briggs feeling function could be telling: A lot of disagreements are rooted in the difference between introverted feeling (Fi) and extroverted feeling (Fe).

The feeling function determines how you relate to your emotions and the emotions of others, and since we live in such a social world, the tension between different feeling functions can be tricky to navigate. In fact, whether consciously or not, many people feel very passionately that by honoring their feeling function, they’re doing the “right” thing.

A lot of disagreements are rooted in the difference between introverted feeling (Fi) and extroverted feeling (Fe).

So to constructively come together in the face of disagreement, it’s critical to learn the other person’s POV, namely their feeling function, and respect these differences. Below, learn which MBTI personalities are Fe versus Fi, what separates those two camps, and, most importantly, how they can come together after disagreeing.

Extroverted feelers (Fe)

Types using Fe: ENFJ, INFJ, ENTP, INTP, ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTP, ISTP 

Value: Harmony

Extroverted feelers generally like to be around people, even if they’re shy (like ISFJs). They ask a lot of questions, know how to make others feel good about themselves, and are deeply considerate.

Fe users are all about maintaining peace in their relationships, and they are happy to give a little for the greater good. They are typically assuring, and like to care for others. They know how to squash arguments and avoid conflict to bring people together. Extroverted feelers excel at empathy, understanding, and connecting teams.

But when interacting with introverted feelers, Fe users can come across as if they are just placating or biting their tongue. This can sometimes lead to problems with boundaries, or staying too long in bad jobs or relationships.

Introverted feelers (Fi)

Types who use Fi: INFP, ENFP, INTJ, ENTJ, ISFP, ESFP, ISTJ, ESTJ

Value: Authenticity

People with an introverted feeling function are typically reserved. Even if they’re social or joking, they usually stick to light banter and avoid wading out into emotional language (until they really know you). They keep their feelings close to the chest, and often convey their thoughts directly.

Fi users are all about authenticity and won’t simply pretend to like someone or fake excitement. They advocate for causes of their choosing and are loyal by default, knowing who they are and what they want. A strong sense of self powers everything they do; they know their own minds and hearts.

Especially when they’re interacting with an extroverted feeler, Fi users can often come across as mysterious or aloof. In close relationships, introverted feelers may seem and cutting because they know what they feel, and see themselves as truth-tellers. Sometimes, they hurt those they love because they don’t know how to filter themselves in heated moments.

Bringing Fi and Fe users together

Maybe your Fe husband fronts the whole bill for an Airbnb for a group of friends, knowing some people didn’t pay him the last time he did it; as an Fi user, you might think he’s being irresponsible with his money, or a pushover. Or perhaps an Fi user on your team at work speaks out to management about someone who isn’t pulling their weight; as an Fe user, you might have felt it wiser to handle internally, as a group, rather than involve senior leadership. Or maybe your Fi friend always thinks she knows best, and really asserts her parenting opinions to you, an Fe user, which irritates you even though you know she honestly doesn’t see anything wrong with it.

It’s important to understand that neither Fi or Fe is wrong, per se, and that each person is just trying to honor their value system. That said, sometimes it’s best to honor individualism and authenticity, and other times it’s best to set aside differences and come together.

How extroverted and introverted feeling people can interact effectively—even when they disagree

What Fi people should know about Fe people

Introverted feelers should understand that extroverted feelers really want what’s best for others and derive self-worth from making others happy. They will work tirelessly to please, and if they don’t, they’ll become defeatist.

Fe users often give love via acts of service, words of affirmation, or gifts, but they definitely receive with words of affirmation. They need to know they are doing well by you. Make sure you are reassuring them verbally as much as you can, so they feel seen for their efforts.

The best way to present a problem to an Fe user is to bring it up, and then give them time to think before you actually hash it out. If you put them on the spot and demand to talk, they might stay quiet because they might not yet know how they feel. They might nod in agreement with you or defer to your feelings because they can often see anyone’s perspective, but their real feelings may not materialize until later on.

Consistent conflict will make them feel like the relationship is broken and they can’t make you happy, so try to keep your passion in check when you solve problems, so it doesn’t become anger. Also, while you may get over a fight quickly, Fe users often require more time.

what Fe people should know about Fi people

Those who are introverted feeling often feel insecure about their emotional worlds. They sense that vulnerability very profoundly, and may have trouble articulating their feelings if they’ve been hurt. If they are unusually withdrawn, feel free to ask if something is wrong to create that space for them to come forward.

Many  Fi users show their love through quality time and acts of service. Words of affirmation or touch (especially PDA) may be slightly less natural for them. But know if they are showing up for you, that’s huge. They would not be in any relationship if they didn’t want to be.

Introverted feelers need to release tension in order to feel better, otherwise they’ll stew in their emotions. They need emotional honesty. To them, bringing up an issue does not mean they are unhappy with you, but rather that they feel there is an opportunity to improve the relationship and grow. This is actually a big sign of love.  Introverted feelers express themselves in a very direct way, which can often come across as harsh or tactless. So try to look at what they are saying, not how they say it.

Fi users may seem passionate when they argue and fight, but they are not grudge-holders. Once they work through what they’re feeling, especially when they can finally give voice to it, they’re over it.

Introverted feelers and extroverted feelers sometimes struggle relating to each other, but they absolutely have so much to learn from each other. Fi users can learn the power of coming together and working to find middle ground from Fe users, and Fe users can learn how to access their real emotions and find long-term solutions for recurring problems from Fi users. These are powerful lessons that can make anyone a better partner, employee, parent, or person in general.

It’s easy to think that the other person is coming at an issue from the wrong place, when really we’re all just all wired differently—that’s actually a beautiful thing. Take the opportunity to grow.

Want some Myers-Briggs-inspired ideas? Here’s the best self-care activity for you and best workout to try, according to your personality type.

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#according to your MBTI function of extroverted or introverted feeling #How you handle conflict #Good

[mr30notsoflirty]

Confessions of a C4 First Dates background dater - parts 2-8

About a year ago, I figured that my one background date in the First Dates Restaurant was bucket list material. I had a lovely night. Job done. Move on.

But the thing about trashy telly is that it can have a hold over you. Lying on the couch with a box set on series view… it draws you in for another episode.. just one more… there’s time for just one more. .

The call came in, “we’re looking for background daters for #FirstDates…” and, just like with dessert, I couldn’t say no to a redux. So I answered the call and headed back to the Paternoster Chop House, to Fred, Cici, Merlin, Laura and Sam… maybe this time they could help me find love…

But I didn’t go back once… I kinda got a little addicted to blind dates in the First Dates Restaurant. Being round the corner from work, I became one of a few last minute substitute daters du jour… returning for a couple of dates, say seven…

But what did I learn on these dates…

1. Variety is the spice of life

I was fortunate to have seven dates with seven lovely ladies from all walks of life… from funny to quirky to serious from a teacher to a fashion buyer, from a city high flyer to a creative florist… ladies with backgrounds in four continents, introverts to extroverts, straight to bi, to pan. The surprise was awesome… you never knew who you’d be paired with - you gave up that option of choice. It made me question how diverse my usual dating pool has been - had I been dating in an echo chamber, or had I narrowed down my search by pre-judging people on profiles or a few sentences at a speed date? A. Yup.

2. Give people a little extra time, give them a chance to surprise you

Which leads to my second lesson, I think we’re all time short, we swipe left or right, we’re demanding on seeking the best (screw the rest), we judge a date initially in the first couple of seconds. But does that mean we often fail to give a date the time to surprise us. I hope I surprised every date I had in the First Dates Restaurant with something about me. I know that each and every one of my dates surprised me positively… with a look, an anecdote or an infectious laugh. From a past life in dance, to an insatiable appetite for espresso martinis to growing up in the same area. In the First Dates Restaurant, once the novelty of the cameras, the main dates and being around Fred and the team… it was just you and your date. Something about everyone being on a first date seemed to make everyone give their date a chance for at least two courses. I really appreciated that all my dates went the distance.. and i each case I was given that little extra time to surprise them. 

3. Age appropriate is a thing (at least for me)

Up to recently, age hasn’t been an issue or a non-negotiable for me…. and going into being a serial background dater, it felt great and liberating to date people who ranging from their early twenties to late thirties… However, I came out from these dates realising that I’m no longer in for staying out all night, needing to be at the latest hip speakeasy or a rave. I’m no longer hip, neither can I pretend to be. Honestly, I quite like sitting down these days, comfy has replaced cool. If I travel, I’m no longer the lover of a Gap Year hostel, I’d rather look on Airbnb for a cool flatshare. I need to be able to mix the fun and silliness with a dash of more sensibleness and sitting. On two of my dates, I finished it with my dates saying they saw me more like a father figure - wine aside, that freaked me out big time…  not as much as realising I was old enough to be their dad.

5. Spark - it’s either there or never will be

For all my talk of giving people a chance (aka. give ME a chance….), the fact is that at some point on a date, you know if that spark’s there or not. If it’s not, it never will be. I just wish it was more mutual, as usual for me there was always a mismatch the dates I fancied, weren’t the ones that fancied me and vice versa. It was good for me to be the one who felt no interest on a few occasions - as someone who often believed that he could persuade someone to see a spark when one was never there. Two of the most interesting dates I had there were ones where it was clear from early on that there wasn’t a spark. One involved the prettiest girl I’ve ever dated, I could sense her disappointment early on about my model-less look and style… it knocked my confidence straight away, but at least I knew where I stood. On the flipside, I had some dates where I knew there wasn’t a spark on my part, but I had a chance to make sure we had a good date that might boost their confidence.  

I’m now retired from background dates at the First Dates Restaurant, but you should go. If you’re single, it’s a great chance to date outside your comfort zone and broaden your dating horizons… in fact, why not be a main dater?! For more info see https://twitter.com/FirstDates   

[travelita]

Your Guide to Making Friends on the Road

Guest article by Jen Nilsson

As you plan for your solo trip, you may feel a nagging worry. One that you try to suppress while you focus on the excitement of what’s to come, but a worry that needles at you none the less. That worry is loneliness.

It’s an understandable concern. When I packed my bags for my first solo adventure, I also packed a whole lot of worries with me. I was newly alone after my partner died of a swift and brutal cancer and, though I was looking forward to escaping my life for a while, I was also fretting about being lonely.

One of the most surprising lessons that I learned on the road was that solo travel does not necessarily mean traveling alone. You will meet many other like-minded travelers and welcoming locals.

Here are some of the ways that I learned to leave my concerns about loneliness behind while making friends on the road:

Embrace Communal Space

I don’t mean staying in a hostel, necessarily. Hostels were certainly a great option for me for a while, but as an introverted extrovert who enjoys alone time and does not enjoy bunk beds, I usually don’t do the hostel thing.

However, there are so many other ways to enjoy communal space!

Consider renting a room with a local host using Airbnb. This provides you with your own space but allows for an opportunity to make a new friend of your local host.

Another option that I love is TrustedHousesitters. Using this arrangement, no money is exchanged between house sitter and homeowner, and you will have your own space. However, you will be responsible for caring for the home and, often, the homeowner’s animals. I love this option because it is very budget friendly in that there is no cost for the accommodation, but you will also meet and spend time with the homeowner. I have made many new friends (both human and puppy!) this way.

Using TrustedHousesitters also necessitates trips to another communal space: dog parks!

If you do not want to walk a dog, look for restaurants with communal tables. While it can be a little intimidating to sit down alone at a communal table, you will get over this quickly as the people next to you will often include you in their conversation immediately.

Choose a Neighborhood to Love

When searching for accommodations, research neighborhood with a vibe that you love. I’m a writer, so I often search for neighborhoods with a writing or artist community. Then I really get to know the neighborhood using some of these methods:

Spend your first night at the local pub and sit at the bar. Ask the bartender about places to visit in the neighborhood. Since this is a local pub, everyone seated at the bar will have an opinion and will likely chime in. I made many new friends this way while traveling solo.

Pro tip: Don’t want to drink? Order a non-alcoholic ginger beer in a pint glass.

Do your grocery shopping at the local farmers market.

Look for a neighborhood website or a neighborhood blog that features upcoming events in the area.

Find a local coffee shop and read the local paper there every morning of your trip. You will get to know the locals and the local news this way.

Entertain Spontaneity

You’ve heard of the old throw the dart at the map trick, right? Personally, I’m too Type-A to randomly pick my next travel destination from a tossed dart, but why not pick an event for one night randomly?

That same local coffee shop that you’ve been visiting will likely have a community board with upcoming events. Randomly select one that catches your eye and go to that local book reading, poetry slam or volunteer opportunity.

Checkout Groups and Local Meetups

You’ve probably already scanned your social media contacts for anybody who might live in the area, but what about posting a message to your favorite groups to see if anybody lives nearby?

Girls Love Travel is a huge network for female travelers.

Meetup.com features local events within specific categories like “outdoors & adventure” or “arts” or “sports”.

Travelita’s Travel Community is also a great way for solo female travelers to connect.

Go on a Group Food Tour with a Local

Booking a group food tour is one of the things that I love to do immediately upon arriving in a new destination. Getting to know the way that people eat in any given destination is getting to know the culture of the place. Doing a group tour also allows you to meet new people, including the local guide.

Go on a Multi-Day Group Trip

I like to stay in a place for an extended period of time, really getting to know the neighborhood. But, when I’m not housesitting, I also book overnight group trips during my extended stay, so that I can explore the surrounding area with a group of people and a local guide. This makes for a good balance between group time and alone time, and provides an opportunity to meet other like-minded travelers.

Take a Class

Cooking, wine tasting, painting, coffee brewing, the list goes on and on. Look at Airbnb Experiences for group classes that will have you learning and laughing in no time.

Travel for a Specific Reason & Stay a Bit Longer

Into books or music or yoga? Travel for a festival or event but stay on longer after the event is over. You will meet new friends at the event who live in the area or who are traveling in the area.

I discovered this guaranteed way to make like-minded friends after attending the Bali Spirit Festival in Ubud. I only attended the festival for one day, but I stayed in Ubud for a month, meeting many fellow yogis like me.

Use an App

I don’t mean dating apps, necessarily, though both Bumble and Tinder have the ability to filter for a friend search.

Travello is an app for meeting other travelers, Tourlina is an app for female travelers seeking to meet other female travelers, and Travel Buddies is an app for meeting travelers with similar itineraries or even local guides.

Also, check out Reddit and your destination’s subreddit to discover events or attractions in the area that locals are talking about. 

Travel with a Small Offering

I learned this tip while walking the Camino de Santiago, a pilgrimage across Spain. One of the women that I walked with brought stickers that read “no vino, no Camino”. She gave these stickers out to fellow pilgrims and, more often than not, those pilgrims asked us where we would be having a drink that evening. We met so many people just by giving away something small that represented who we were and what we liked to do.

I saw another traveler who brought a portable printer with him. He then immediately printed out the pictures that he took and handed his new friends the small, but precious gift of a photograph. Small gifts are excellent ways to meet people and to maintain an ongoing friendship.

Many times, people, especially travelers, are craving that kind of contact.

A fellow solo traveler – who is now a friend – taught me a very simple lesson when I met him on a rooftop in Kuala Lumpur. He said that meeting another traveler on the road is just like the moment when two children meet. There are no expectations. There is only an authentic curiosity about the soul of another.

About the Lens of Jen (lensofjen.org)

Jen Nilsson is a full-time travel blogger who changed everything about her life when her fiancé died of cancer at the age of 40.

After learning the hard way that life is too short to delay our dreams, Jen quit her corporate job, ditched high-heels for a backpack, and set out to see the world.

She now believes that life-changing moments exist outside the comfort zone. She has walked 500 miles across Spain on the Camino de Santiago, learned to surf in Bali, tried (and failed) to learn to scuba dive on a Thailand island, and finally, at the age of 37,  learned to ride a bike while cycling through the vineyards of France.

The Lens of Jen is all about embracing a new “lens” on life when things don’t shake out quite the way you planned.

YouTube: youtube.com/thelensofjen

Instagram/Twitter/Medium – @lensofjen

Free your travels, be a Travelita! #travelita #iamatravelita

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