#all he's left with is guilt

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

#undertale yellow #uty #my art #<- ifg #spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad #that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways #CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO??? #i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly #but THE CUTSCENES?!?!? #JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD #ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO #LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER #ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD #BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK. #AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE #n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of #everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS #WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING #AAND THE GROUP HUGG #I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD #AND THE FUCKOGN #THE F U C K I N G #AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD #to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho #and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump #just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece #anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way #this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to #oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I like about Leo is that he’s honestly really chill? It’s easy to remember the moments where he’s being obnoxious or excitable but I feel like most of the time he’s incredibly “go with the flow” and has an overall affable demeanor.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #Genuinely speaking I feel like said demeanor is incredibly useful for when he has to charm and/or persuade people into listening to him #I have a whole post talking about Leo’s charm and how he consistently gets people to hear him out even if he’s annoyed or upset them #like they’ll still listen to what he has to say in full #his charisma stat is real and utilized quite often in this series I swear he’s not just a loser cringeboy all the time 😭 #if he wants to persuade and/or charm then he honestly sooo often does #me listing the 400th reason why Leo grows up to be the worlds best ninja and a good 365 of those reasons are Leo’s various subterfuge skill #Like most episodes where he’s not the main focus (and even many where he is) #he’s a voice of reason who notices things quickly and is often the one taking point to talk down situations #something interesting I found between Leo and Mikey is that #Mikey tells people what they need to hear #Leo tells people what they want to hear #not only out of his own agenda either #when bullhop was wrecking their home leo was the one that negotiated to make the situation go smoother #even if he would have rather bullhop left #meanwhile Mikey is the one who bluntly tells things as it is #small character moment that means a lot to me #Mikey is an honest boy who is upfront about his feelings #Leo prefers to let people make their own decisions he wants them to through steering the convo in that direction #but he is easily cowed by guilt #regardless leo is a people person - he knows how to talk to them and how to manipulate/persuade #and I like that his bros know this and often push him forward to do the talking if they wanna charm someone into doing what they want #I think Leo’s hope speeches are also an example of this - he’s saying what people really want to hear (and often it’s ALSO what they NEED) #the further the series goes on the higher Leo’s inner stress rises and he just keeps that chill aura anyway #there’s a reason!!! he wanted to go to a SPA so badly!! #literally the first thing he does when he gets in is rest #no joke meditation would do him good? like- it’s a Leo thing and I genuinely think rise leo would be no different here

[arthursfuckinghat]

Sorry just thinking about how lovingly Charles talked about where he'd buried Arthur, the softness and somber in his voice, the way he reassured John that Arthur got the proper burial he deserved.

"It's where he would have wanted to be.. a pretty hillside.. facing the evening sun."

#the guilt in john's voice when he said he had to run #charles reassuring him #god I need to lie down #I know it's a topic of debate but I don't think charles was away for months before coming back for arthur #I think a few weeks max #he would have wanted to come back to help whoever was left right? #maybe its just what I think but it doesn't help that the timeline during then isn't specific at all #oh charles #thank you #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #arthur morgan #charles smith #john marston #red dead redemption community #red dead redemption 2 spoilers #oh arthur

[lulu-draws-stuff]

This was gonna be a comic, but I wasn't having fun drawing it, so I scrapped it

You get the cover and outfits section

#art #illustration #fanart #psychonauts #razputin aquato #lili zanotto #sasha nein #milla vodello #raz psychonauts #lili psychonauts #sasha psychonauts #milla psychonauts #outfits #the idea was that Sasha and Milla get assigned to investigate reports of strange psychic happenings at a mall #and Raz hears about it and begs to come along. and Lili's says she's coming if Raz is #and it's likely not very serious so they're allowed as long as they stay out of trouble #but Raz keeps wanting to look at everything and go into all the stores #Lili gets bored that they're not finding anything and joins in Raz's wanting to actually do things #and she sorta convinces Milla as well. by guilt tripping her about how Raz hasn't been to a mall before and so he's never seen any of it #so Sasha's left as the only one taking the mission seriously #also they've got different outfits (other than the ones in the outfits section) so you can tell it's a different time than in the games #I think probably a month or so post psychonauts 2

[kopponss]

buncha misc doodles

#going to vomit abt the first img first #scars scarheart (peanut butter previously) and siblings with jellie #he has similar tabby markings to her ehe #they're kittypets but scar left for the clans #fire and princess type beat #he enjoys causing (and inadvertently getting into) trouble too much hence the scars #grians sunchirp and enjoys collecting feathers and decorating himself with it #while escaping from a dog he accidentally brought it to a wandering scar and man got attacked #grian brought scar back to camp out of guilt which is how he was introduced to the clans #since scar gets into a lot of scuffles (although pretty wounded) he put up a bit of a fight #he's a decent fighter for someone without training and all his scars impressed the clan enough to take him in #grian offered to be his mentor/supervisor and begrudgingly dedicated himself to making scar welcome/adjusted and formed a close bond from i #they were just silly cat designs but my mind went crazay #grian #grian fanart #goodtimeswithscar #goodtimewithscar fanart #smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #kopparts

[wttcsms]

horribly short summary of what im trying to accomplish here, but if you were to read a fic featuring character, a soldier honorably discharged and is officially off the battlefield and yet he can’t seem to shake off the war from clinging to his body, and he’s basically a bit of a mess and feels incapable of returning to ordinary life and there’s you, the sweetest thing in the whole world, and he keeps trying to tell you he’s no good and you’re there to help him with everything (and it kills him a bit, to see you wasting your time to help him, and it kills him because he feels like he shouldn’t be the type of person who needs help) and !! just slowburn and falling in love and just read the tags for the vibe ok, who would it be for

#i was originally thinking ghost from cod since hello there’s so much source material to work with #and the fic would suit him nicely but also idk if i have cod readers left on my blog #so any characters are fine like an aot character would also prob fit the bill for this #but ive just been thinking abt everyone who’s analyzing hozier’s snippet #with how he takes his coffee black and his whiskey neat and how this girl is too sweet FOR HIM #as in… not being deserving of something so nice #and feeling that way but also showing how in the healing process - in the process of getting better - #we start to discover that we are allowed to enjoy and indulge in nice things. that we also deserve to live a life full of sweetness #and it’s a bit serious since it will touch on ptsd; on survivors guilt #and the fic is long - spanning from getting together to him having kids w u #& how even after all this time sometimes the war is still fresh as ever on his mind #and just !!! it’s a lot #also that Taylor line that’s like ‘is it really your anxiety that keeps you from giving me everything? #‘or do you just not want to’ + ‘you wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody’

[essektheylyss]

I think it's important to note that I do believe Orym wasn't totally thinking straight when he nodded to Laudna. Because if he'd have been thinking straight, he'd have gotten in front of her and then very efficiently killed Bor'dor himself, and he'd have still been correct for it. Hope this helps. 😌

#anyway! I think maybe we should all revisit the paradox of tolerance! love and light xoxo! #cr spoilers #cr discourse #cuz yanno. that's what we're doing I GUESS. #like did y'all forget he was a bodyguard? he was never some model pacifist antiwar protester? #he prefers to avoid confrontation when possible BECAUSE he knows how messy shit gets. not because he's unwilling. #he didn't leave cuz he couldn't stand to fight for the cause anymore he left cuz he failed at protecting lol #liam pcs show up like 'is anybody going to suffer enormous amounts of survivor's guilt' and don't wait for an answer

[twinkalicious]

no cause the fact that richter thought alucard was a myth is absolutely killing me. he grew up hearing stories of his ancestors' heroism, but for some reason a central figure of those stories was merely a legend to him, an immortal fantasy creature who he never got to meet. honestly i'm willing to bet his own mother and grandfather and any other belmonts before them didn't either. they only told the stories of defeating dracula as their parents did before them, thinking them dramatized and never literal. it became a game of telephone, with each person doubting the existence of a friendly dhampir ally more and more because alucard wasn't there to corroborate it. alucard separated himself from the belmonts at some point. he wasn't there to see trevor and sypha's lineage despite the fact that they merged their houses and literally founded a city together. speculating the when and why is going to drive me absolutely insane, you don't understand.

#i like to think he got sick of watching them all grow old and die #like maybe after he watches trevor and sypha's babies and grandbabies die he says ok i cant keep doing this #dozens and dozens of mortals who all have trevors humor and syphas whit and their eyes and their hair and their faces all bleeding together #alucard probably left after the first few generations because he knew he couldnt keep doing it over and over again #he couldnt lose them time and time again #the fact that richter has trevor's face and sypha's eyes is going to be a problem i think #trephacard #i am feeling angst in this chillis tonight they had BETTER EXPLAIN when and why alucard broke away from the belmont/belnades line #castlevania nocturne #AND ANOTHER THING #wonder if alucard will feel any misplaced guilt about not being there to protect the belmont descendants and their loved ones #god i hope im wrong and richter was just the outlier in not meeting the immortal family friend #also known as the belmonts' living family heirloom that i lowkey headcanon him as 😭

[bumblingbabooshka]

Let's put the angst back into pon farr - the deeply rooted shame

#currently writing........................ #picturing: What if Tuvok's bond with T'Pel makes him yearn for her through his pon farr even if he has to spend it with another person? #the shame and guilt and disgust of not only experiencing the indignity of the pon farr at all but also not spending it with T'Pel #and the horror that he'll have to (ostensibly) endure this every seven years for the next seventy #when you're suffering and probably SHOULD logically bond with another person to help you get through the fever #but the fever wails and agonizes - drowning you in the sorrow and love you've been suppressing in order to function #crushed between a rock (you're suffering even more bc you're still bonded to T'Pel) & a hard place (to break your bond with T'Pel would be #agony - it's all you have left - this pain is all you have left)

[hayaku14]

kuroba toichi you need to stay dead or im going to fucking kill you myself

#you sick son of a bitch #if you truly love your son you wouldnt be alive #it's bad enough that you basically left the mantle for your teenage son to take up but you actually being alive???????? #you just out there living your life while your son is destroying his relationships chasing after something that you started???????? #his very motivation is your death and it's not even real??? the utter fucking betrayal??? #and maybe being kid has kade him a better magician and has helped him find out more about himself #but he shouldve been able to have a choice if he even wanted to be kid at all it shouldnt have been a responsibility pushed upon him #AND IF YOU ARE FUCKING ALIVE AND YOU'RE JUST WATCHING YOUR SON RUNNING AWAY FROM THE POLICE WITH PRIDE INSTEAD OF GUILT YHEN YOU CAN #GO FUCK YOURSELF #Honestly the worst #also that theory that maybe chikage is travelling the world because she KNOWS toichi is alive and she's with her elevates this fuckery into #a whole different level #anyway go read cuethesun's tomorrow and the next day #good fucking food and bad parent chikage and toichi enjoyers will be pleased ;> #lol #dc prattles #as much as i want happy everybody is alive kuroba family #i need touichi and chikage if she knows too to feel the repercussions of their horrible parenting and i need kaito to be able to let himself #feel the hurt and betrayal that he is justified to feel even if he is happy that his dad is alive #but i dont trust gosho to handle that nicely if anything i think hes gonna just handwave it and wont address it properly #anyway my point is i just need more hurt and angry kaito also if shinichi is there im happy #sorry i sneaked in a kaishin i cant stop the brainrot unfortunately theres no cure 🤚😔 #ALSO DONT GET ME STARTED WITH BAD PARENT KUDOS OOOOOHHHH

[dirtytransmasc]

thinking about how Spider was neteyam's big brother. losing my mind. ripping out my hair.

was 'teyam scared of storms or the dark? did he confide these "childish" fears to his big brother? did he get shy with all the attention he got in the village? did he hold Spi's hand when he got nervous?

did Spi have habits with 'teyam like 'teyam had with lo'ak? did Spi mess with his hair or reach for his shoulder or cuff his neck?

did Spi ever worry for 'teyam after he "stepped up" and became the Big Brother when the humans returned? did he worry something would happen to him? did he want to protect him despite being a human? was he proud? did his pride outweigh his fear?

did he think about 'teyam after he was taken? did he wonder where he was and if he was safe?

what was Spi thinking when he saw the bullet hole in his baby brother's back? did he freeze when he saw the blood, when he realized he failed to protect him?

what was 'teyam thinking? when he looked to Spi, did he want him to be the big brother again, did he want to stop being brave and let Spi do it? did he want to say something?

I have so many questions. I don't think my heart could take the answers.

#I'm probably being delusional. feel free to write this off as fanon bs. idc. it's canon in my mind. #all I can think about is the fact 'teyam died for him. he watched him die. he watched his little brother die. #did he say goodbye to him? #did he sneak into the mauri they kept his body in before they returned him to eywa and say goodbye to his baby brother #properly y'know. not the way he'd say goodbye in front of the kids or at a time where neytiri could see him. #did he stroke his hair and hold his hand and tell him he was sorry? #did he tell him he wished he could switch their places? #did he kiss his forehead one last time? did he look at his face and try and memorize every feature only to find it left wrong by death? #did he worry about him being alone in that mauri at night? did he worry he was scared to be alone in the dark of the pod? #he had to say goodbye to his baby brother for the rest of his life. what did he do? I need to know. #or at least. what did he want to do? #ignoring his grief and guilt and fear of upsetting the others or being caught by neytiri #if he could openly grieve. what would he do? #what would he wish he'd done? #It pains me to say I can't see canon!spider actually getting to give 'teyam a proper goodbye cause of everything #but if he did #what would he have done? #neteyam sully #neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #spider socorro #miles spider socorro #miles socorro #avatar the way of water #avatar #crying actually #I call them Spi and 'teyam cause it feels right

[otaku553]

Oc aged up? Redesign? Doodle

#goal was to make him 2x as unlikeable than before lmao #I think story bits are putting themselves together #older cot is now in a position of leadership #Vv left the team or retired for reasons after a big fight #during which xieran lost an eye and all of them got traumatized #cot grapples with the feeling of betrayal from Vv leaving them but also understanding of their reasons and cot’s own desire to retire #cot doesn’t like playing by the rule book anymore and actively goes out of their way to make things difficult for everyone besides xieran #ie getting paperwork done on time and then hiding it so the people who need it can’t find it or have to go to extreme lengths to find it #stops caring altogether for the organization which they work for #maybe even has several contingencies or leverage to bring the organization down to its knees #and instead of using it just dangles it over their head for the amusement of their grappling and vulnerability #their own petty revenge for what he perceives as the organization forcing his closest friend to break under pressure and leave #he also knows fully well that bringing down the organization would be forcing the several hundreds under their employment into poverty #which he doesn’t do mostly because xieran still exists as a voice of reason for them #probably feels some amount of guilt for being the only unharmed out of the battle that injured xieran and pushed Vv to retirement #after all their role is never at the front line. at the best they are a distance attacker #because they insist on bringing a gun to a sword fight

[turrondeluxe]

Random question- does Miguel know that Ronin is a ninja?

As in, like he obviously knows that he's a ninja, but have they ever fought together or has he seen him fight? I know they met when they were younger, but I feel like Ronin Mikey is very soft now, especially with his kids.

OOO or- on the other side- has Ronin Mikey seen Miguel fight?

Just wondering :3

Miguel definitely knows and they definitely sparr together sometimes, just for funsies and whenever Mikey wishes to not go rusty on his training.

I depict them having a fairly peaceful life (outside of Miguel's spidey job) so, they actually haven't fought side by side to an actual threat together they'd be so cool tho.

While Miguel hasn't actually seen Mikey fighting to his full potential against an enemy, he has seen other versions of Mikey fight while checking on different universes because of the spidey job. He can imagine how badass his own Mikey can be considering what he has witnessed.

In Mikey's case, he hasn't actually seen Miguel fight against an actual threath but he def has a certain idea because of whenever they train/sparr together.

#this is under the thought that miguel is actually still doing the 'boss of the elite spideys taking care of the multiverse' bit #because whenever i draw them i draw them under the thought that miguel retired from the job just so he can live a peaceful life with #mikey and four little kids (he left Jessica in charge) lol so yeah jebdhdh #LIKE HES TRULY SO STRESSED OUT ON THAT JOB 😭 . DETRIMENTAL TO HIS HEALTH FR. HE EVEN SAYS HE ACTUALLY DOESN'T LIKE DOING IT. BUT HES DOING #ALL THAT BECAUSE OF GUILT AND SELF LOATHING. LET HIM HEAL ALONGSIDE A TRAUMATIZED OLD TURTLE AND HIS FOUR BABIES #ask #lasting romance

[backpackingspace]

thinking about how for like the first two years of obi wans apprenticeship qui gon did not give a fuck what obi wan did (or even really what happened to him) before snapping out of it and realizing he was actually very much responsible for this child and course corrected into being a helicopter parent and how obi wan always read this as mistrust instead of concern and guilt.

#Star wars #qui gon jinn #obi wan kenobi #The disaster linages complicated relationship #Neglect #Trauma #Like qui gon was deeply traumatized individual #And I think he just could not deal with being responsible for another child #Like I'm pretty sure obi wan would do something and qui gon would be having literal flashbacks of xantos #Which is not an excuse for obi wan being left to fend for himself but #And that lackluster care ran deep man like obi wan regularly ended up on a completely different planet during those early missions #But to that 13 year old baby wan it felt like trust #So when qui gon started suddenly giving a shit and putting rules in place it felt like mistrust #It's a pretty common reaction to see in kids when their parents who hadn't been parenting get it together #Qui gon having so much guilt being a helicopter tired dad #Wrestling his feral padawan into one of those kid leashes #Qui gon: through gritted teeth: its the will of the force Padawan stay fucking still I mean it I swear to all the gods #Obi wan: 15 and feral and war veteran twice over embressed to the point of finding this humiliating: #Master hates me? Mater distrusts me?? He thinks I need to be held on to like I'm fucking 7 years old when will I ever be good enough for hi

[raspberryjellybrains]

yknow I've been thinking about what dream looks for in friends and lovers and I've noticed that it's not necessarily people that are mean to him, but people that are direct. dream himself deals in metaphor and manipulation, it's simply what he is, so just about everything within his realm that he's encountering consistently will be such that as well. considering both his own tendencies, the environment it breeds, and his whole Thing about guilt and choice, it makes sense he would choose people who are clear and honest with him. he wants someone who will tell him how it is, but not what to do with that—even when it's not really what he wants, dream knows it's what he can need. I think that's why figures like lucienne, matthew, death, and yes, mervyn can be important! on some level, dream knows he's convoluted and shifty by nature, and he's tried to combat that with concise words and mind-melting beauracracy, but it can't fix everything. he likes people to keep him in check and I think that is the most self-awareness he has ever been capable of. so... clap? no? idk. nod acknowledgingly.

#it is also that he is autistic #i dont make the rules. its just true. #also didnt mention for sentence flow but this is 100% why i think he REALLY hates desire #theyre the only manipulator in the universe better at manipulating than him. and uses these abilities to fuck him over. #they know how to blend direct observation with subtly implied direction to get him to do what they want whilst thinking hes not #dream knows this and he HATES it. because thats like. his every fear confirmed. in someone who is supposed to care for him. #and desire simply sees this as an extension of their function and good fun besides without understanding how deeply this messes dream up #with the guilt and choice thing: dream wants someone clear to blame and he would prefer it not be himself #so he wants to be given the option to be left with no choice so he can escape all personal responsibility as disguising it for himself as a #personal attack. the problem is that this is an inherently selfish thing to do and his perception of reality is so warped by ass kissing and #paranoia (great combo) that he ALSO cant tell whats a personal attack. #see: nada rejecting him and dream damning her to hell for 10000 years. #that also hit some other stuff he lacks the emotional wisdom to grasp #but like. why else would mervyn exist. genuienly #mervyn knows hes made by an uncaring god for menial and unnecessary work. everyone else knows hes full of shit and kinda right. #if dream didnt like what purpose he served on some level he would just remake or unmake mervyn all together. but he doesnt. #mervyn is like a chainsmoking barometer of public opinion #like boyboss good for him but thats it #anyway #dream of the endless #the sandman #raspberry rambles

[krizkrozapplesoz]

Thinking about Cletus having some kind of survivor's guilt after the whole trilogy

#talkin #Because like. It seems like he knows him Argus and Rufus are all the same clones of the alpha generation #I'll assume as much for this at least #So imagine you have two people left in your generator. Two “brothers” so to speak and they both die #One sacrifices himself for Cletus to survive and the other gets torn to shreds by the propeller they were all stuck in #He's Watching all of it too #Sure he has the future of deponia and elysium resting on his shoulders now #But ALSO the two other people who were WAY MORE QUALIFIED to save said future are dead now. All so he could live #Do you think he lies awake at night thinking about it. I do #And also also also i bet Goal feels a lot of guilt for her part in all of this. She's caused plenty of trouble too after all #Imagining that the shared survivor's guilt allows Goal and Cletus to properly bond #And for that to end up being the thing that lets their marriage finally work #With some proper therapy that is #Deponia #Can anyone hear me is anyone there