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#also jonah and rachel would be best friends
kaitcake1289 · 10 months
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jo from mythic quest and dina from superstore could make the worlds most toxic and evil yuri couple but y'all aren't ready for that one
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zillanovikov · 1 year
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sad gay wizard pining
This is how I convinced an author to write fanfic of her own novel about a wizard trying to stop magical climate change. This wizard, aka Ian Mallory, has been in love with his best friend, Jonah Augustine, for twenty years. Jonah Augustine is also in love with him. During this time, they have never banged.
"Surely like, one time," I said to the author as I beta read Cascade. Beta reading novels gives you access to the author's headcanon, sometimes. "It's been twenty years. At least a smooch."
"Nope," said Rachel A Rosen. "Not once."
"No one has that kind of self control," I argued. "Ian was literally the reason Jonah figured out he was bi."
"Ian's a wizard who can see all possible futures. He knows it would be a catastrophically bad idea."
"Counterpoint, I can see the future and I know if I finish an entire bag of chips on my own I will regret it, but I'm halfway through this Sour Cream and Onion and I'm not slowing down."
"Fine," said Rachel A Rosen. "I will write you a prequel short story of them not hooking up. It will be … much smuttier than you're expecting."
So she did.
If you want to read it, there's a free copy if you sign up to the Night Beats Newsletter. You can unsubscribe after downloading it if you're not a newsletter-kinda-person. You can buy Cascade here, but you don't need to read Cascade first to appreciate the wizard-pining. It stands alone plenty well.
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zalrb · 1 year
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OTH 3X05 Rewatch Review
OTH won.
1. I keep forgetting OTH is on Prime
2. IIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYY
3. One Tree Hill wants Tree Hill to be a basketball town so badly and doesn’t put in any of the effort.
4. I like how stiff these cheerleaders actually are.
5. “You’re breaking her heart you know that?” I’m sorry, he nearly died and she DIDN’T COME HOME.
6. Lucas, SHUT UP. You were the one who cheated on your girlfriend with her best friend and then dated that girlfriend’s neighbour broke up with said neighbour and went next to that girlfriend’s house RIGHT AFTER BREAKING UP WITH HER NEIGHBOUR
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7. Right, I forgot they thought he kissed Haley. I mean, still though.
8. The fight between Nathan and Lucas escalates to an unbelievable point, it would not cause a brawl between the team, that’s dumb.
9. Peyton, if you hate being a cheerleader, stop being a fucking cheerleader, jesus christ.
10. OH MY GOD, A WOMAN WITH ARMPIT HAIR? BURN HER AT THE STAKE.
11. Every time I see Rachel, I think about how me and my friend shipped Jensen with Sophia, I don’t even know HOW that came about but we were like Chad is disgusting and Sophia and Jensen should totally date and get married and Chad can choke and die then we found out Jensen was with Danneel and we were like ....................
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12. Chris’ album name is “Keller Instinct”? Ugh.
13. I like how Chris is supposed to be a hot shot musician but also has nothing better to do than hang around Haley and Chris, that’s weird dude.
14. It’s funny I rewatch Veep a lot and this character Jonah who is terrible is about to be offered like hundreds of million of dollars for his website and Selina the protagonist is like:
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and every time one of the characters is like “Dan’s running for mayor?? It’s like...” I think of this scene.
15. This shit is SO unsanitary.
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16. Dan, you’re running your own campaign.
17. I am posting this without comment and tagging @initiumseries​
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18. I totally forgot about Gigi.
19. The casting as Ellie as Peyton’s birth mom was a good choice though.
20. Oh God, is Peyton going to see Ellie’s picture of her and be like YoU LiEd To mE!!!! It is this scene right.
21.
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22. (it is).
23.
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24. At least she isn’t crying this time.
25.
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OH MY GOD, PEYTON, GET A FUCKING GRIP 
26. I am so done with these scenes, can we move on.
27. Ha.
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28. What is this dialogue? What does it even mean?
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29. I like how she puts this on Nathan like she didn’t kiss him and insist on working with him and didn’t ask Nathan to come with her on tour
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Once again I am reminded of how I like Naley together but build up Naley not so much.
30. “If you work with Chris and end up having feelings for him again, then I guess I have my answer.” “That’s ridiculous, Nathan, that’s not fair!” I mean, how though? You didn’t even say you didn’t have feelings for him, Haley. THIS IS HIS POINT.
31. I like how when Dan actually is mayor it’s not really a catastrophe, unless I’m misremembering.
32. At least Peyton tackles Rachel when she punches Brooke.
33. Like these fights don’t make sense because it’d be an entire team and an entire squad trying to pull apart TWO people of their OWN team/squad.
34. You were slut shaming Brooke like 2 seconds ago, Rachel
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35. At least he looks uncomfortable here, with Brooke he looks bewildered and then into it by the very end.
36. This always bothered me because it DOESN’T. MAKE. SENSE. Is it last year or two years ago?
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37.
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38. I always found it HILARIOUS that Brooke slaps Rachel and Lucas just watches like damn, Brooke. Doesn’t even go to see if Rachel’s OK.
39. “You know that thing about judging a book by its cover? Well it’s true. Sometimes you gotta read the whole thing” this is the clumsiest shit ever, STOP TALKING.
40. Nathan, why are you lurking by a tree?
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castiel-kline · 3 years
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cas and balthazar meet again post finale
This one really got away from me, and it got really long. I promise it does answer the prompt but I also made it super plotty for some reason. I hope you don’t mind!
Being taken by the Empty didn’t feel like dying. 
Of course, that’s what was happening to him, but it didn’t feel like that. It felt cold, and painful, and vengeful. Lonely and miserable and laced with glittering knives of regret.
It was his damnation. Not the traditional sense of the word, but true nonetheless. 
But if facing it meant he’d save his family? Save Jack from being subject to the same fate? He’d damn himself to this a thousand times over, without a single shred of hesitation. 
The Empty had him entirely covered in its goo, tendrils snaking under his skin and into his body from every angle. In through the eyes, the nose, snaking down his throat. Under the fingernails, into the ears, scraping through the tattered remnants of his grace and pressing down around his true form. 
It was agony. 
Eventually it subsided, and some of the inky tendrils retracted, leaving him gasping for air that neither existed in this realm nor was truly necessary. He collapsed in a heap, the Empty bubbling around him. He spared a glance up, wondering if the Shadow were nearby to gloat before sending them both into slumber. What he saw… well. Unexpected didn’t quite cover it. 
“Jack?” 
“Hmm. Guess again, Castiel.” 
“No.” Don’t you dare look like him.
“Oh, yes. Because it hurts you to look at him, doesn’t it?” The Shadow leaned down, condescension clear as day in its every move. So wrong on Jack’s face that it twisted something deep within him. It stared him down, watching him squirm, mania-painted smirk stretching wider. “Good. I want you to suffer, so that’s what you’re going to do.” 
“I thought you wanted your peace and quiet,” Cas managed, as more tendrils snaked out over his wrists and ankles. Dragging him a little bit further down, completely at the Empty’s mercy. Somehow he suspected that was the point.
The Shadow straightened, looking down Jack’s nose at him. 
“Of course I do,” It said, emulating Jack’s earnestness. Liar. “But I can’t!”
“What?”
“Wonderboy-” the Shadow gesticulated wildly in the direction of its facsimile body “-woke everybody up when he exploded all over me. So I don’t get to sleep, no, and if I don’t get to sleep then you definitely don’t get to sleep. None at all.” 
Quicker than a blink, the Shadow had fisted Castiel’s collar in its hands, bringing their faces inches apart. 
“At least,” It whispered, eyes wild with an energy Jack had never, and would never, possess. “I get to make you suffer like you’ve made me suffer. So I want you to look at this face, Castiel. Look at it, and know that it’s contorted in tears right now because Papa Bear abandoned him.” 
The Shadow threw him down, the goo swallowing him right back up. Submerged in the dark, he scarcely felt its weight. He was too busy drowning in a fresh cascade of guilt.
It yanked him back up, tendrils leaving him suspended in the middle of nothing. Some of them twisted at his feathers, pulling them just enough to be excruciating but not enough to rip them free. He screamed.
“Be quiet!” The Empty released him, and Cas fell back down, every fibre of his being crying out in pain.
The Shadow cackled, everything about it from the pitch to the cadence to the intention screaming wrong, wrong, wrong.
“You’re never going to regret this, are you?”
Cas glared at it, mustering up as much defiance as he could. 
“No,” he croaked. “Because saving my family? That’s worth dying a thousand deaths.”
The Shadow doubled over laughing again. Then, quick as a blink, kicked him across the face, sending him reeling backwards.
“‘Die a thousand deaths’? Please. You’re pathetic, you know that?”
Castiel pushed himself back up, following the Shadow’s pacing with his eyes. It walked with one arm tucked behind its back, the other gesticulating as it spoke.
“Death isn’t going to be enough for you, hmm. Oh, you know what you’ve never been able to take?” It spun back around, grinning down at him. “You can’t stand seeing the pain you’ve caused. And since you can’t see what’s left of your precious little family- not that they even care that you died, by the way- how would you feel about seeing the angels again?”
No. He must have looked visibly afraid, because the Shadow only smiled wider. 
“Not so pleasant a thought, hmm? Seeing as you killed most of them.” It laughed again, clapping its hands in an expression of glee that would have been endearing coming from Jack, but now simply served to be disturbing. “Oh, yes. It’ll be just like throwing a scrap of meat to a pack of starving dogs.”
Cas shook his head, but the Empty pressed on. It waved its hand, and Castiel was thrown some immeasurable distance away. He pushed himself to a sitting position, and watched in horror as the ground bubbled around him, and his brothers and sisters began to crawl their way out.
He recognized them, of course, because he’d taken care to never forget a single name. He saw Hael first, then Bartholomew, then Jonah and Efram and Ambriel and Samandriel. He saw Raphael, Uriel, Anna, Jophiel. He scrambled to his feet, unable to do anything but watch and wait for their wrath to undoubtedly descend upon him. 
Someone grabbed him from behind and pulled, running and dragging Castiel with them. He didn’t fight it, figuring that whoever had him was going to inflict a world of pain and there wasn’t a thing to do but accept it. They’d gone a fair distance, if there was such a thing as distance in nothing, before they stopped and Cas turned to face who had taken him. 
“Balthazar?” His voice came out strangled, as scarcely more than a whisper. 
“Cas,” Balthazar said, staring at him with something unreadable in his eyes. “Your wings…”
“Balthazar,” Cas repeated, finding himself unable to say anything else, mind swirling in an inescapable vortex of grief and guilt and pain. “I’m sorry, my friend. I’m so sorry.”
“What, for killing me? You weren’t yourself.”
“I was. That’s the problem.”
Balthazar just shook his head. “It’s going to take more than a stab in the back to get rid of me. You do know that, right?”
“If we weren’t already dead I’d offer you my blade to kill me. I deserve nothing more.”
“Castiel.” Cas forced himself to meet Balthazar’s eyes directly. “I know you, and so I forgive you. As I’ve told you before- nothing’s changed.”
Cas smiled bitterly. “Except me.”
“What happened to you?” Balthazar’s fingers traced the air where Castiel’s wings lay mangled and twisted in another dimension. “You look like you’ve been clawed apart by feral house cats.”
“I destroyed everything, Balthazar. So many times.” And he felt like he was being crushed under the weight of all his mistakes. Perhaps this was the torture the Empty preferred for him- giving him back a lost friend, giving him forgiveness- and then ripping it away again. Surely even someone as loyal as Balthazar wouldn’t want to associate with him after learning of the things he’d done.
“You, Cassie? I’ve only ever known you to do what’s right.”
“How can you say that when you saw me make one of my biggest mistakes? When I killed you because of it?”
Balthazar scoffed. “Mistake? Cas, you were trying to stop our control freak of an older brother from letting the other ones out to destroy the world. What about that is a mistake? Sure, Crowley was a bit of a snake, but come on. It can’t have been so long that you’ve forgotten your good intentions.”
Cas didn’t say a word, and Balthazar narrowed his eyes. “How long has it been, Cas?”
Cas sighed. “Nine years.”
“Nine years.” Balthazar’s eyebrows had shot all the way up. “Wow. Not long at all. So what could… no. Tell me you weren’t.”
Castiel frowned. “Weren’t what?”
“Weren’t still kissing the Winchesters’ asses for the whole nine years.”
“They’re my friends, Balthazar.”
“Oh, really?” Balthazar crossed his arms. “If they’re your friends, why did they treat you like one of the guns they keep in the trunk of their wretched car?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it, Cas?” Balthazar sighed, backing down a little. Nine years of death wouldn’t stop them from bickering, it seemed, though he did put a hand on Cas’ shoulder. An uncharacteristic attempt to show solidarity through the sarcasm.
“Look,” Balthazar continued. “What you do is your business, but… just tell me there was something good in those years. That it wasn’t just you running around trying to prove yourself to them.”
There was something, in fact, something he’d never expected. Something beautiful.
“I had a son,” he admitted. He’d often wondered what Jack would be like meeting angels that weren’t hell-bent on killing him. He’d imagined Jack meeting Balthazar, or Hannah, or Rachel or Samandriel, but it would never come to fruition. The best he would get was telling them about him, assuming he would be able to escape being choked and stretched and drowned by the depths of the Empty for all eternity.
“Why, Cassie, I’m impressed,” Balthazar said wryly. Oh no. Before Cas could interject and explain, Balthazar continued. “Looks like you really did get that stick out of your ass. And you put it right up-”
“Balthazar! He’s not mine, not like that. He chose me, and his mother was a friend. That’s all.”
Balthazar seemed to enjoy how flustered he was, but his tone was serious. “You adopted a human child?”
“No, he’s a nephilim.”
“Ah,” Balthazar said. “So they changed the rules regarding them in the past nine years, then?”
“No,” Cas said again, getting frustrated. He’d forgotten how much Balthazar loved to hear himself speak. Even if he had missed it, it was still mildly insufferable.
“Well, you rebel Cas, you. But, ah- who was the sire?”
Cas winced. “Lucifer.”
“Oh, my. That is unfortunate.”
“Yeah. Jack’s nothing like him, though. He’s… he’s very much like his mother. And I like to think he’s a little bit like me, too.”
Balthazar looked at him, somehow still reading him like a book after all this time.
“You spoil the poor child, don’t you?”
“I most certainly do not,” Cas huffed.
“Oh, yes you do. You’ve always been soft, but now you’re practically a down pillow.”
Cas’ smile was sadder, again. “I told you I’ve changed.”
“Maybe so. But we haven’t.”
“Thank you.”
Balthazar smiled. “I do have one question though, Cas.”
“Of course.”
“How did you die?”
Well. He supposed it would have had to be asked eventually. Unfortunately his hesitation gave Balthazar another opportunity to talk over him.
“Please don’t tell me it was for the Winchesters.”
“I love them.”
Balthazar rolled his eyes. “Of course you do. And unfortunately I love that about you. Well, go on. Tell me a story.”
Cas shrugged. “I made a deal with the Empty. My life for Jack’s, which- it wasn’t even a question. It said that when I was finally happy, it would take me.”
Balthazar frowned. “What did you in?”
“You know, I’m not really sure. But I managed to save Dean, and that’s all that matters.”
“Oh, Cas,” Balthazar muttered, sounding deeply sad. “Well, at least you were clearly a better father than our dear old absent God. That much is clear.”
Cas’ heart sank. He couldn’t not tell him, though he didn’t necessarily want to break the news.
“Balthazar.”
“What?”
“Um. A lot has happened since I’ve last seen you, and there’s a lot you need to know, but God- God was never on our side.”
--------
They walked aimlessly through the Empty, keeping aware for signs of their siblings or the Shadow, but oddly finding none.
“Well then,” Balthazar said, flippant as ever. Cas was nearly sure he was deflecting.
“That’s all you have to say? You’re not angry?”
“Nope.” Forced cheerfulness. “Never liked him anyway. Frankly, I’m surprised you even met the man.”
Cas paused and stopped moving, feeling something tugging at his grace.
“Cas, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” Balthazar had stopped too, hovering closer. 
A pocket of the nothingness in front of them seemed to pull itself inward, caving in like a black hole and then cracking open just a bit. Was this what it looked like when someone died and came to the Empty?
Hopefully not, because the distortion cleared and Jack was standing there. And it was painfully, obviously Jack, clearly indicated by everything from his posture to the grace Cas could feel reaching for his own.
Balthazar stiffened, preparing for a fight, but the minute Jack caught sight of Castiel the angel found himself with an armful of nephilim. He held on tight, feeling Jack trembling slightly.
Having connected the dots, Balthazar caught his eye over Jack’s shoulder and mouthed “down pillow.” Cas shook his head slightly, but turned his attention back to his son.
“Jack? Are you-”
“I’m getting you out, Cas,” Jack said, pulling back. “We’re both getting out of here.”
Balthazar’s stricken expression tugged at Cas’ heart.
“Just me?” Cas asked.
Jack’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“The other angels are awake, Jack. Can you…”
“I… maybe. But, Cas, I don’t… I don’t know them. Why…”
“It’s alright if you can’t,” Cas assured. “But if we can help them somehow, be that bringing them back or putting them to sleep… I need to try to make things right.”
Jack nodded. “I’ll try to help.”
Cas smiled at him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “Thank you. And thank you for coming to get me.”
“Of course. I missed you,” Jack said, eyes wide. Cas felt something else inside him twisting.
Balthazar cleared his throat, and Cas gently turned Jack around to face the third member of their party.
“Jack, this is Balthazar. He’s a good friend.”
Jack and Balthazar looked at each other, Jack frowning and Balthazar smirking in a horribly misguided attempt to be friendly. The silence stretched on, utterly deafening. Jack broke it first.
“I… I met an alternate universe version of you that was not very nice.”
Balthazar didn’t miss a beat.
“Well, you know what they say. Don’t judge an angel by their alternate universe counterparts, right?”
That got a bit of a smile out of Jack, though he was still wary. Cas couldn’t blame him, so he kept in contact to keep him at ease.
“We need to find the Shadow. Make an arrangement so that we can take a few angels with us and the Empty goes back to peace and quiet,” Jack said. The self-assuredness was clearly a front, but somehow Cas felt as if he’d have time to help Jack through it. 
“Okay,” he said, nodding at Jack. Jack nodded back, and the three of them started walking. Into what, they didn’t know. 
But Castiel had the strangest feeling that it was all going to turn out alright.
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crowdvscritic · 3 years
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round up // JULY 21
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‘Tis the season to beat the heat at the always-cold theatres and next to fans set at turbo speed. While my movie watching slowed a bit with the launch of the Summer Olympics on July 23rd, I’ve still got plenty of popcorn-ready and artsy recommendations for you. A few themes in the new-to-me pop culture I’m recommending this month:
Casts oozing with embarrassing levels of talent (sometimes overqualified for the movies they’re in)
Pop culture that is responding or reinterpreting past pop culture
Stories that get weEeEeird
Keep on-a-scrollin’ to see which is which!
July Crowd-Pleasers
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1. Double Feature – ‘90s Rom-Coms feat. Lots of Lies: Mystery Date (1991) + The Pallbearer (1996)
In Mystery Date (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Ethan Hawke and Teri Polo get set up on a blind date that gets so bizarre and crime-y I’m not sure how this didn’t come out in the ‘80s. In The Pallbearer (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), David Schwimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow try to combine The Graduate with Four Weddings and a Funeral in a story about lost twentysomethings. If you don’t like rom-coms in which circumstances depend on lots of lies and misunderstandings, these won’t be your jam, but if you’re like me and don’t mind these somewhat-cliché devices, you’ll be hooked by likeable casts and plenty of rom and com.
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2. The Tomorrow War (2021)
I thought of no fewer movies than this list while watching: Alien, Aliens, Angel Has Fallen, Cloverfield, Interstellar, Kong: Skull Island, Prometheus, A Quiet Place: Part II, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith, The Silence of the Lambs, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and World War Z. And you know what? I like all those movies! (Okay, maybe I just have a healthy respect/fear of The Silence of the Lambs.) The Tomorrow War may not be original, but it borrows some of the best tropes and beats from the sci-fi and action genres, so much so I wish I could’ve seen Chris Pratt and Co. fight those gross monsters on a big screen. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10
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3. Dream a Little Dream (1989)
My July pick for the Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! I CANNOT explain the mechanics of this body switch comedy to you—nor can the back of the DVD case above—but, boy, what an ‘80s MOOD. I did not know I needed to see a choreographed dance routine starring Jason Robards and Corey Feldman, but I DID. All I know is some movies are made for me and that I’m now a card-carrying member of the Two Coreys fan club. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6.5/10
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4. Black Widow (2021)
The braids! The Pugh! Black Widow worked for me both as an exciting action adventure and as a respite from the Marvel adventures dependent on a long memory of the franchise. (Well, mostly—keep reading for a second MCU rec much more dependent on the gobs of previous releases.) Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10
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5. Liar Liar (1997)
Guys, Jim Carrey is hilarious. That’s it—that’s the review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10
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6. Sob Rock by John Mayer (2021)
It’s very possible I’ve already listened to this record more than all other John Mayer records. It doesn’t surpass the capital-G Greatness of Continuum, but it’s a little bit of old school Mayer, a little bit ‘80s soft rock/pop, and I’ve had it on repeat most of the two weeks since it’s been out. Featuring the boppiest bop that ever bopped, at least one lyrical gem in every track, and an ad campaign focused on Walkmans, this record skirts the line between Crowd faves and Critic-worthy musicianship.
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7. Double Feature – ‘00s Ben Affleck Political Thrillers: The Sum of All Fears (2002) + State of Play (2009)
In The Sum of All Fears (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), Ben Affleck is Jack Ryan caught up in yet another international incident. In State of Play (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), he’s a hotshot Congressman caught up in a scandal. Both are full of plot twists and unexpected turns, and in both, Affleck is accompanied by actors you’re always happy to see, like Jason Bateman, James Cromwell, Russell Crowe, Jeff Daniels, Viola Davis, Morgan Freeman, Philip Baker Hall, David Harbour, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren, Liev Schreiber, and Robin Wright—yes, I swear all of those people are in just those two movies.
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8. Loki (2021-)
Unlike Black Widow, you can’t go into Loki with no MCU experience. The show finds clever ways to nudge us with reminders (and did better at it than Falcon and the Winter Soldier), but be forewarned that at some point, you’re just going to have to let go and accept wherever this timeline-hopper is taking you. An ever-charismatic cast keeps us grounded (Owen Wilson, Jonathan Majors, and an alligator almost steal the show from Tom Hiddleston in some eps), but while Falcon lasted an episode or two too long, Loki could’ve used a few more to flesh out its complicated plot and develop its characters. Thankfully, the jokes matter almost as much as the sci-fi, so you can still have fun even if you have no idea what’s going on.
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9. Double Feature – Bruce Willis: Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995) + The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Before Bruce Willis began starring in many random direct-to-DVD movies I only ever hear about in my Redbox emails, he was a Movie Star smirking his way up the box office charts. In the third Die Hard (Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), he teams up with Samuel L. Jackson to decipher the riddles of a terrorist madman (Jeremy Irons), and it’s a thrill ride. In The Whole Nine Yards (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), he’s hitman that screws up dentist Matthew Perry’s boring life in Canada, and—aside from one frustrating scene of let’s-objectify-women-style nudity—it’s hilarious.
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10. This Is the End (2013)
On paper, this is not a movie for me. An irreverent stoner comedy about a bunch of bros partying it up before the end of the world? None of things are for Taylors. But with a little help of a TV edit to pare down the raunchy and crude bits, I laughed my way through and spent the next several days thinking through its exploration of what makes a good person. While little of the plot is accurate to Christian Gospel and theology, some of its big ideas are consistent enough with the themes of the book of Revelation I found myself thinking about it again in church this morning. (Would love to know if Seth Rogen ever expected that.) Plus, I love a good self-aware celebrity spoof—can’t tell you how many times I’ve just laughed remembering the line, ���It’s me, Jonah Hill, from Moneyball”—and an homage to horror classics. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10
July Critic Picks
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1. Summer of Soul (…or, When the Television Could Not Be Televised) (2021)
Even director Questlove didn’t know about the Harlem Cultural Festival, but now he’s compiled the footage so we can all enjoy one of the coolest music fest lineups ever, including The 5th Dimension, B.B. King, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Nina Simone, Sly and the Family Stone, and Stevie Wonder, who made my friend’s baby dance more than once in the womb. See it on the big screen for top-notch audio. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10
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2. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
Robin Williams takes on the bureaucracy, disillusionment, and malaise of the Vietnam War with comedy. Williams was a one-of-a-kind talent, and here it’s on display at a level on par with Aladdin. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10
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3. Against the Rules Season 2 (2020-21)
Michael Lewis (author of Moneyball, adapted into a film starring Jonah Hill), is interested in how we talk about fairness. This season he looks at how coaches impact fairness in areas like college admissions, credit cards, and youth sports. 
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4. Bugsy Malone (1976)
A gangster musical starring only children? It’s a little like someone just picked ideas out of a hat, but somehow it works. You can hear why in the Bugsy Malone episode Kyla and I released this month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, plus how this weird artifact of a film connects with Gilmore Girls.
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5. The Queen (2006)
Before The Crown, Peter Morgan wrote The Queen, focusing on Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) in the days following the death of Princess Diana. It’s a complex and compassionate drama, both for the Queen and for Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen, who has snuck up on me to become a favorite character actor). Maybe I’ve got a problem, but I’ll never tire of the analysis of this famous family. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10
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6. The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972)
This month at ZekeFilm, we took a closer look at Revisionist Westerns we’ve missed. I fell hard for Roy Bean, and I think you will, too, if for no other reason than you might like a story starring Jacqueline Bisset, Ava Gardner, John Huston, Paul Newman, and Anthony Perkins. Oh, and a bear! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10
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7. New Trailer Round Up
Naked Singularity (Aug. 6) – John Boyega in a crime thriller!
Queenpins (Aug. 10) – A crime comedy about extreme coupon-ing!
Dune (Oct. 1) – I’ve been cooler on the anticipation for this film, but this new look has me cautiously intrigued thanks to the Bardem + Bautista + Brolin + Chalamet + Ferguson + Isaac + Momoa + Zendaya of it all.
The Last Duel (Oct. 15) – Affleck! Damon! Driver!
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (Nov. 11) - I’m not sure why we need this, but I’m down for the Paul Rudd + Finn Wolfhard combo
King Richard (Nov. 19) - Will Smith as Venus and Serena’s father!
Encanto (Nov. 24) – Disney and Lin-Manuel Miranda making more magic together!
House of Gucci (Nov. 24) - Gaga! Pacino! Driver! 
Also in July…
Kyla and I took a look at the classic supernatural soap Dark Shadows and why Sookie might be obsessed with it on Gilmore Girls.
I revisited a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece that’s a surrealist dream even Fellini couldn’t have cooked up. Yes, for ZekeFilm I wrote about the Vanilla Ice movie, Cool as Ice, which is now a part of my Blu-ray collection.
Photo credits: Against the Rules. All others IMDb.com.
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Goof Week: House of Mouse: Super Goof or Wish I Could Fly Like Super Goof (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)
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Hello all you happy gorshers and welcome back to Goof Week, my week long celebration of Goofy’s 89th Birthday. And today I take my once a month trip down to the house of mouse as part of my patron kev’s yearlong celebration of the show’s 20th anniversary. And since I had this theme week in mind I asked him if it’d be okay if he strictly randomized goofy episodes, he said yes and here we are. 
Luck was on my side as I got what I remembered was one of my faviorite episodes of the show. But before I can get if it lived up to the hype or not a brief word on Super Goof. 
Super Goof is actually from the comics, first debuting in a story where Goofy thought he had super powers and fought the Phantom Blot in a cowboy hat. 
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This concept was a hit so in 1965 Goofy was made a superhero for real with Super Goof #1. This dosen’t suprise me: this was the height of the silver age: The Lee and Kirby age of Marvel was in full swing and DC was still doing gangbusters. So there was market for a superhero spoof comic starring one of Disney’s best and brightest characters, who was given a bunch of super peanuts called super goobers to give him superman powers.  What DOES surprise me is the series lasted 74 issues from 65-84. And what’s more insane and wonderful? It didn’t get canceled because of low sales or anything. That was simply when Gold Key shut down... and Gold Key was FOUNDED three years before it meaning this book lasted the company’s ENTIRE lifespan. I’ll say that again, a book about goofy eating peanuts that started because of a story where goofy thought he was a superhero and fought a cowboy phantom blot, lasted 74 issues and only ended because the publisher shut down. That... is one of the most amazing things I have ever heard in my life. I’m genuinely impressed... this isn’t even a bad concept, I likes it and wish Disney would give it a full series. Farmer could do wonders with it. I’m just amazed that this odball little comic took off like it did. And as one final fun fact much like Superman, Super Goof set off the trend of Disney’s classic characters becoming heroes, with Donald’s own Papernik/Duck Avenger following in his footsteps. I REALLY want a Disney Superhero Verse in animatoin now, I know there was a mini series like that. And I will have to visit these comics at some point I just simply didn’t have room in the week with a movie review tomorrow. . 
So with all that out of the way how does Super Goof do on screen and does the episode hold up? Join me under the cut to find out.��
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As usual for HOM I’ll be doing the shorts and overarching story seperate soooo
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How To To Take Care of Your Yard:
Look anyone whose read my stuff or even just my goofy shorts special  will know how much I love the How To Shorts and how this series is responsible. This admittedly isn’t one of the BEST of them.. but it’s still fun to watch. Even a forgettable How To Short is still GOOD. It’s abotu Goofy taking care of his yard over the four seasons and has some decent gags but nothing really standout.  I Honestly DO wish I had more to say but this one’s just okay and it woudln’t stick out as much if both the wraparound and the other short weren’t so spectacular. Speaking of which. 
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Locksmiths: This is one of the few shorts I VIVIDLY remembered from childhood and for damn good reason. This is THE best short i’ve seen so far for House of Mouse this year and for good reason. The premise is simple enough: The Golden Trio are locksmiths.. who end up getting locked inside their own office just after Minnie calls with something urgent to tell them. 
The results are comic gold, with the standout bits being Goofy’s keys which is just such a wonderful hurricane of puns with some great visual gags to start it off that I can’t help but love it
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There’s TONS of other good stuff too: The boys fishing for the key, Mickey opening a ton of doors in a sequence MST3K would be proud of and the finale with the boys falling out the office. This is a true , hilarious classic and my words can’t really do it justice. Seek this one out on it’s own or in the episode you will not regret it. A true classic for Disney Shorts period. 
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Super Goof:
So onto the main story. Goofy asks Clarabelle out and she’s not only incredibly receptive but simply asks to check her schedule.. which he interprets as no.  I would make a joke here but i’ts clear from previous episodes HOM goofy has Low Self Esteem: he was utterly crushed not having a valentine and by his friends all wishing he could be less Goofy. So him overreacting like this is in character and comes off as endearing: it’s not that he thinks so low of her he’d think sh’ed pull something like this.. it’s that he’s so doubtful of someone liking him for who he is deep down he self sabotages something I can PAINFULLY relate to as that’s one of my biggest personal issues hands down. 
So outside presumably on break...
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Not THAT kind of break. Though since I bring it up: they both were wrong. They WERE on a break, and it was wrong of tweedle dee and tweedle dum there to keep needling it ESPECIALLY since their the ones who TOLD HIM to hide his sleeping with the waitress and took NO responsibility for that. Rachel treating it like an affair constantly when she’s the one who wanted space and didn’t give him any paramerters for said is fucking terrible. It’s telling that in the reunion trailer everyone but Matthew LeBlanc, who was clearly just having some fun agreed they were.  That being said Ross still slept with someone five seconds after being on said break, still listneed to the two of them on hiding it when it was a bad idea, and STILL caused said break by being a clingy asshole to such a degree even his previous history of being cheated on does not justify or excuse how badly he treated Rachel. What i’m saying is they both sucked, and thus deserved each other, and by the end NEITHER was remotely likeable, with both having done terrible things both in said will they or won’t they hellscape and outside it, with Ross dating a student and Rachel dating her assistant. 
Anyways after that thing I clearly needed to get off my chest, we get a narration informing us a METEOR IS COMING and it strikes the peanuts Goofy’s depression snacking on, as a result he becomes SUPER GOOF! And after a display of his powers with various disney characters (finding Gepetto and Pinocchio in a whale, saving the dalmations from cruella , lifting the giant from the littlest tailor) and finds he has a narrator. No really Goofy notices and is not happy about it despite all superheros having one. I mean he’s not wrong, look what the X-Men’s did to  Cyclops:
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But regardless he has him and Goofy flies through the air with the quickest of ease through the house of mouse impressing everyone who has no idea he’s goofy. This gag is a carry over from the comics and a transparent parody of the superman clark kent thing. But it works because Goofy still uses his name in costume, still has his hat and really changes nothing about his appearance. It’s simple but sometimes you just need a very simple gag to work and overxplaning it spoils the whole thing. Trust me I know as a certified experinced fuck up. 
So after the first cartoon Super Goofy guest stars, and we get some neat gags with the disney movie characters, though my faviorite is Peter Pan’s reactoin of “He Can fly he can fly he can fly, big deal. Anyone can do that”. It’s both perfectly in character and utterly hilarious. 
Goofy however starts to feel disheartneed as everyone compliments him.. and Minnie says he’s better than a regular goofy as do the others minus Mickey because he’s a good egg. And Clarabelle but he misinertperts her like of super goof as her liking him better as that. 
So fed up with everyone liking him better, Goofy throws away the peanuts, which he kept in his hat.. though one did fall in his waiter’s uniform. Remember that. The narrator questions if this is really the end and what if there’s peril but Goofy’s stubbornly instiant he won’t do it no matter what. 
Cue the what: another MUCH LARGER metor heading straight for Mainstreet
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Goofy refuses to summon super goof despite the danger... Mickey has an apt response for him
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This is the one scene I don’t really like: Goofy has a righ tto be upset they all prefer someone who just showed up hours ago over him, especially beceause it IS him, to the point Daisy was upset she got a picture of goofy instead of super goofy because J Jonah Jameson’s not going to pay for pictures of his next door neighbor. But Mickey has a right to not want to die horribly in a cataclysm of fire. 
So Goofy mopes off like his son to go save the world, fine whatever. Only as is cartoon law, the trash has been picked up meaning he dosen’t have any goobers.. except the CHEKOVS GOOBER. With it he chews it, flies up and has a truly impressive display holding it back while it’s just over clarabelle before dispoising of it. he hits on her in super form but she says she already has  date with regular goofy. Goofy’s confidence is restored, he’s probably getting laid tonight and we close on a Mike add for a school for Goofy’s. How much is tution.. asking for a me. 
Final Thoughts: This wraparound was great, a few small flaws but it has a great, engaging charcter driven story with some delightfully silly jokes that are right up my ally. It’s easy to see besides my love of superheroes why this one stood out to me: It’s funny, heartwrenching and stars one of my faviorite character.
The shorts are also good, one that’s okay , a bit too long but not bad, and one that’s an utter masterpiece. In fact the only reason the first short feels so long is you really want to get back to the main plot fast,  and that’s not a bad problem to have. This was an excellen tepisode and I recommend seeing it out. 
Before I get to my whole patreon speil, i’d like to say that House of Mouse STILL is not avaliable on Disney+ for reasons that haven’t been made clear. As such it’s on my Not Streaming List, a list I keep and update reguarly of shows that SHOULD be streaming on a particular service and have no clear reason NOT to be such as musical rights issues like the ones likely keeping shows like Drew Carrey, Northern Exposure and Murphy Brown off streaming. So check that out if your curious, link is on my main page and hit me up if you have any suggestoins for it. 
So thank you for reading and if you liked this review give it a like and consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As a patron you’d get access to exclusive reviews, the patreon’s discord and to pick a short each time I do one of these shortstaculars. Donald’s comnig next month and the deadline is in only a few days to join up for said month so the clock is ticking. Even a dollar a month helps me reach my stretch goals so please i fyou can sign up today and if not, I understand and i’ll see you at the next rainbow
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haveamagicalday · 3 years
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My reads of 2020
My top ten is in a separate post but here are the rest of my reads!
5 Stars
If You Tell by Gregg Olsen 
This is a memoir about the Shelley Knotek case. It focuses heavily on the relationship and struggles of her three daughters that were just children when Shelley’s tortures started. This book was fantastically written for such a morbid tale but be warned, it is not for the faint of heart. Trigger Warning: Abuse, torture, murder
Wayside School Beneath the Cloud of Doom by Louis Sachar 
The Wayside school books were some of my favorite growing up. I made sure to reread them all before reading this one. It felt like no time had past at all. This is a great blast from the past that won’t disappoint old fans of the series. 
4 Stars
All Your Twisted Secrets by Diana Urban
A group of seemingly unrelated students are invited to a scholar dinner that turns out to be a trapped. Once all the students arrive, they are locked in with a bomb and the the option to choose one person to die or they all die. As the night slips away, we learn the secrets and connections the students share that brought them to their predicament. Surprisingly not as suspenseful as you would think it would be and the secrets/bad things the students had done in the past really weren’t that twisted. Still it was very fun with an explosive ending.
Beyond the Shadowed Earth by Joanna Ruth Meyer
This is a sequel to Beneath the Haunting Sea and actually focused on the hero from the first’s books antagonist, Eda. Eda overthrow our hero from the first book as heir to the throne, blamed the king’s death on her and had her wrongfully banished to an island that launched the story of the first book. After that we never visited Eda again as the book focused on a different story instead of getting her kingdom back. So in this one, we see what happened to Eda after she took over. She is not a good person and the author isn’t afraid to make her unlikable at first, but also redeemable through her adventure and misfortunate. 
Break Your Glass Slippers by Amanda Lovelace
Another book of poetry from Amanda Lovelace that delivers profound and touching poems.
Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier 
A classic retelling of The Six Swans. This story takes place in a medieval/fantasy version of Ireland. Marillier is one of my favorite authors of fairytale retellings. This book is definitely a slow read but is gorgeously written and rich in character development. The story follows the fairytale with little variation. Trigger Warning: Rape (graphic depiction).  
Lady Killers: Deadly Women Throughout History by Tori Telfer
Nonfictional account of female serial killers. I liked that this wasn’t written like a wikipedia page and took a more narrative approach. After the first few women, they all start to blend together though. Lots of poisoning happens. It would have been nice for some variety. 
Malorie by Josh Malerman
The sequel to Bird Box that we probably didn’t need but was still good nonetheless. This one focuses more on Boy and Girl (now named thankfully) as teenagers and their view and challenges of the world they’ve grown up in. This book introduced new concepts that were interesting and creative. Somehow this managed to have a relatively happy and satisfying conclusion.
The Monstrous Feminine by Barbara Creed  
A look at horror films through a feminist and psychological lens. I absolutely loved this book and the ideas it presents. The first half of the book takes a look at certain horror films (such as Carrie, the Exorcist, Alien, ect.) and “challenges this patriarchal view by arguing that the prototype of all definitions of the monstrous is the female reproductive body.” I liked the first section of the book more than the second part where I felt it focused too much on Freud and his findings and challenging them through horror films.
No Judgements by Meg Cabot
A cute, fluffy romance that takes place on a small island preparing for a category 3 hurricane. Bree finds herself forced to shelter with the island’s resident heartbreaker and they don’t get along. At first ;)
The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides
Alicia, a famous painter and wealthy wife, shocked the world when she killed her husband and then stopped speaking afterwards. Now committed to a mental institute, Alicia is still refusing to speak. Theo is a therapist who jumps at the opportunity to work with Alicia and discover what really happened with her husband. Some of the twist was easy to pick up on at first but there was plenty that kept me guessing. This was a real page turner.
When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey
Alexis and her group of friends have one very big thing in common; they are able to preform magic. One night, Alexis’ magic causes an accidental death of a classmate and the friends have to ban together to make things right. This was a creative and moving read. There’s plenty of magic but it almost comes secondary to the friendships and blossoming love between two of the friends. 
The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson
Immanuelle lives in. a patriarchal society where the prophet’s word is law and the town is bordered by the evil and forbidden Darkwood. In the Darkwoods lurks four witches that seem to be calling out to Immanuelle. This book had fantastic world building and the story was unique and engaging. Sometimes it felt like we were just skimming the surface of possibilities and I felt that the book could have been longer or divided into a series. While the story wraps up in the end it does turn out there is going to be a sequel so I’m excited for that! Trigger Warning: Mentions of Rape
3.5 Stars
The Cousins by Karen M. McManus
Jonah, Aubrey and Milly never knew their rich grandmother. Her children were all cut off ominously with a note simply saying “you know what you did.” Now their grandmother is reaching out to the cousins and inviting them to work at her island resort for the summer. Lots of secrets and twists await them! This book was a lot of fun and probably my favorite of this author’s so far. Some of the twists border on zany but the overall tone of the book is a little zany so it works.
Horrid by Katrina Leno 
After her father’s death, Jane and her mother are forced to move across the country into Jane’s mother’s childhood home. The manor has many secrets hidden within that Jane must face. The book was well written and intriguing. The books deal with grief and mental illness with a touch of the supernatural. I felt that the overall pacing felt off though. Very little happened in the beginning and then a lot happens in the last 30 or so pages and then it ended abruptly. It was a great concept though and I'm interested in more from this author!
One of Us is Next by Karen M. McManus
A sequel to the hit novel, One of Us is Lying. This book focuses on one of the character’s from the first books little sister and two of her classmates. The stakes in this one didn’t feel quite as serious as the first book but it was a fun read with interesting twists!
The Return by Rachel Harrison
Julie went missing, leaving her 3 best friends grappling with tragedy. Then, exactly two years later, she comes back with no memories. The four friends decide to spend a weekend together but something is not quite right with Julie. This book was creepy! However, it focuses more on the relationships of the four characters and dealings with grief with a touch of supernatural sprinkled throughout. It’s a gripping novel from start to finish that will keep you guessing.
3 Stars
All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda
Nicolette returns to her hometown for the first time in ten years after the mysterious disappearance of her best friend. Shortly after arriving another girl goes missing, forcing Nicolette to relive what happened years ago. What made this book a page turner was that it tells the story backwards. Once she gets to her hometown it starts on her 10th day and works backwards to what happened on the day of her arrival. Unfortunately, while the concept works at first it builds up to a lackluster and disappointing ending. If you were to put the book in the correct order, it wouldn’t work as there are stuff that is found out in the first few days that the reader doesn’t know about but the characters do that wouldn’t make sense in a narrative sense.
Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris
From the outside Jack and Grace come off as the perfect couple but behind closed doors, everything changes. No twists here, Grace is Jack’s prisoner and she is desperately trying to get away. The book alternates between past and present about her current situation and how she got there. This involves a lot of suspension of disbelief. Jack is a cartoony type of villain with no real motive and he would never be able to get away with what he was doing. Grace is also not the smartest person, there were a lot of different ways she could have escaped but for the sake of the story she doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, this was still a suspenseful and fun read but also questionable and some points.
The Blue Salt Road by Joanne M. Harris
A quick, fairytale like story about a selkie who was tricked into becoming human and now longs to return to the sea. I feel like there was a message being preached in this story, but I can’t really pinpoint what it was. Regardless, this was a magical little read.
Clown in a Corn Field by Adam Cesare
Clown in the corn field is a slasher film put on page. It starts off like a typical YA novel and sets up a mystery as to who the clown is, but then the clown attacks at a party and the rest of the novel is that one night as the clown wrecks havoc and the teens have to escape. I think I wold have preferred and more drawn out mystery but fans of slasher films would really enjoy this!
Coral by Sara Ella
A sort of retelling of the Little Mermaid. Sort of. This book focuses on strong themes of mental health. The mermaid/fantasy side is minimal and almost completely disappears in the 2/3rds in to the novel. It was a slightly confusing read but had a powerful depiction of depression. Trigger Warning: Suicide
The Doll House Murders by Betty Ren Wright
A sad but sweet little mystery novel about a preteen girl who discovers a dark secret via an old dollhouse and its mysterious moving dolls. The subject matter was dark but the story was written for middle graders and thus mystery is handled with simplicity and strange charm to it.
Good Girl, Bad Blood by Holly Jackson
The sequel to A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder. This book hasn’t been released in the US yet but you can still get the British/original version on amazon which is what I did. This novel requires a stretch of disbelief and I didn’t think the mystery was as good as the first one. However, if you are a fan of the first one, you will still want to check this one out as well!
I Know Who You Are by Alice Feeney
You definitely have to suspend your disbelief when you read this one. It's gripping and while some twists were easily guessed, the final one took me for a surprise. It's equal parts dark/chilling and cheesy/silly. I'm still left with a lot of questions after the ending. It makes the book fall apart when you think about it but if you just take it for what it is, an entertaining but cheesy thriller, you'll enjoy it.
The Harp of Kings by Juliet Marillier 
This book features the children of the main characters from the Blackthorn and Grim series but you don’t need to read that series in order to read this one (though you should!). The book features three teenagers that are training to be warriors that are selected to go undercover in a nearby kingdom to find the stolen Harp of Kings before the new king’s coronation can take place. It was slow in the beginning and I felt there wasn’t much character development but it was an enjoyable read.
In Darkling Wood by Emma Carroll
Alice’s sick brother is getting a lung transplant and Alice is forced to stay with an estranged grandmother. Her grandmother lives on the edge of darkling wood, a place rumored to be filled with fairies. This book reminded me of a less dark version of When A Monster Calls. It deals with some of the same themes but this is more aimed towards children with a feel good ending.
The Lost Girls by Heather Young
In the summer of 1935, six year old Emily disappeared leaving her two older sisters and parents devastated. Sixty years later, both sisters are dead but one of them left behind her house and a notebook detailing what happened that summer for her grandniece, Justine. This book wasn’t so much of a thriller but focused more on Justine’s current issues with her daughters and ex boyfriend. I found the chapters with the notebook pages in between chapters more interesting than the modern story.
Love, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli 
I read the first Stargirl years ago but reread it before reading this one. This sequel doesn’t manage to capture the same charm as the first one did. The book is a series of letters that Stargirl writes (but doesn’t send) to Leo from the first book following her over the course of a year. I found it surprisingly boring at times and Stargirl seemed far to normal as compared to the first book. It was neat to see what she was up to after the first book but overall I didn’t think it was a necessary sequel. 
A Psalm for Lost Girls by Katie Bayerl
Callie’s older sister was considered a saint in her small town before she tragically passed away. Now the city is trying to have her canonized, but Callie knows her sister wasn’t a saint, and the pressure is what ultimately killed, so now she’s on a mission to prove that her sister was just a normal girl. This book involved a missing child that Callie’s sister was supposed to find before she died but couldn’t. The mystery there was very predictable and was kind of on the back burner to Callie’s story. I think this would have been a more interesting story if it had been from the sister’s perspective and how it felt to be a teen saint while she was still alive.
The Rose Without a Thorn by Jean Plaidy 
The story of Katherine Howard, the fifth wife of King Henry. I was looking for a novel that painted Katherine as sympathetic, as most adaptations make her out to be a seductress. This novel was strange as it read as a wikipedia entry in a narrative form. It was all telling and no showing and lacked real emotion. From the minor research I’ve done, it seems to be pretty accurate in terms of events that happened. Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse featuring a minor (but isn’t presented as such)
Sadie by Courtney Summers
Sadie’s sister was murdered and she is determined to bring the killer to justice. In between each chapter about Sadie is a the transcript for a podcast that is covering the case, as well as Sadie’s future disappearance . This is a very popular book but to be honest, I'm not sure what the point was? The podcast was an interesting idea but it basically just rehashed everything we already knew. Not much was added by it. The ending just fizzles away and the story tended to drag in places. It was very well written though and I think I was just not the right audience for it.
The Seventh Bride by T. Kingfisher
A creepy retelling of Bluebeard. It reads like a YA in some places but Adult in others. It was definitely unsightly and out there but I found it confusing in some places. It has some great creepy imagery and slight body horror to it.
The Supervillain and Me by Danielle Banas
Abby’s brother is a superhero beloved by the whole crime ridden town. But when a supervillain comes into town, Abby finds her paths crossing with him again and again. Okay, so the supervillain wasn’t even a villain and the reason for wanting Abby to help him was not a very good one. The book is mostly about the romance between the two which was nice but nothing spectacular. I found myself more interested in the musical Abby was starring in. It was about a cannibalistic royal family whose oldest son falls in love with a servant and he has to save her from being eaten by his family. Now THAT sounded interesting!
Winterdream by Chantal Gadoury
A Nutcracker retelling. This was a sweet retelling of the story. It didn’t add much to the original tale or the ballet but it was a good winter read to get into the spirit of Christmas.
They Wish They Were Us by Jessica Goodman
Freshman year, Jill’s best friend was killed by her boyfriend., Graham Now it’s senior year and Jill is the president of an elite school club but someone keeps texting her about Graham’s innocence and she can’t keep herself from diving deeper into the mystery to unearth what really happened to her friend. Gripping and twisty, this book was a solid teen mystery!
Not Rated
I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid
I read this almost a year ago and I still don’t know what to think about it. I can’t decide if the story was genius or simple shock value. Did the twist make sense? I don’t know honestly. I read this before I even knew there was a netflix adaptation coming and I while I read this book in one sitting, I only made it halfway through the movie. I personally don’t think it translated well to screen. If you are looking for a quick disturbing read with an ending you WILL NOT be able to guess, then I highly recommend this one.
The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror by Mallory Ortberg
There’s a pretty popular post on his webiste that has a link to a horrifying retelling of Curious George. This is a collection of retellings/unrelated short stories by the same author. I didn’t read all of the stories in this because some of them were just too difficult to get through and confusing. However, the dark retellings of fairy tales and children books were really enjoyable. I particularly liked the retellings of The velveteen rabbit, the frog prince and the six swans. I think they can all be found online and not just in this collection.
Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer
Is it good? No. Is it garbage? Yes. Did I still read it any way? Yes. Team Edward for life.
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trishzecrazy · 4 years
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season 4 of andi mack for:
-character development
• andi on not being selfish. she always goes over other people's feelings: bex, bowie, cyrus, jonah, etc. she's young and went through a lot of family and love life drama but she still needs to learn to think about other's feelings.
• cyrus. he's clearly insecure and buffy and andi dont really do anything about it? in my eyes at least. tj is already helping him on that :) i feel like cy needs to stand up for himself more and also not idolizing people (jonah)
• jonah. he is treated kinda bad by andi (her not really caring about his problems) but it does seem like he subconsciously use his relationship as coping mechanisms. i think him being single for a bit and working on himself, his anxiety, his feelings, his family, it would be a lot better for him.
•amber working on herself and what she did in the past to andi, jonah, etc. also focusing on her home life more.
• and more of course!
(personally i dont like kira like... at all so i don't even think of any redemption towards her honestly)
note: i love all of them, i think if they were actually CONFRONTED on their problems they would do their best to fix them
-relationships (tyrus, muffy+)
-ships (ambi, wonah+)
-friendships (cyrus and iris, tj and buffy, marty and tj, amber and cyrus, buffy and jonah, jonah and amber, jonah and cyrus, jonah and tj, KIPPEN SIBLINGS amber and tj, etc.)
•they (writers) should have let cyrus tell iris he was gay
-LGBTQ+
•coming out to parents/school/friends
•andi pan, amber realizing she is a lesbian, jonah bi
-old character comebacks
•reed and lester????
•iris, libby, walker, brittany?
-old rivals????? (maybe honestly idk if i can handle that torture again)
•kira
•rachel
-andi at sava! (walker-and maybe libby- there too?
-MORE SONGS PLEASE
-a lot more i cant type it all out right now
-healing the andi mack fandom please we are desperate and sad give us more content please--
ALL PERSONAL OPINIONS PLEASE DONT KILL ME OR SOMETHING >~<
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aconstantache · 3 years
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MY FAVOURITE ROMANCE NOVELS OF 2020
HM: The Minute I Saw You by Paige Toon; Fair As A Star by Mimi Matthews; You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle 
10. Take A Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert - loved, loved, loved these MCs. They were both so well-realised and multi-faceted. Zafir may be one of my favourite heroes ever and the depiction of a South Asian family here is also an all-time fave?? No boring, tired, sad diaspora vibes? No overused tropes re: Muslims? MIRACULOUS. So Zaf is a romance novel-reading lover of love and Dani is Not About Relationships. Unstoppable force meets immovable object etc etc.
9. Two Rogues Make A Right by Cat Sebastian - the ultimate in hurt/comfort decadence. Literally the entire plot is one person is really sick and the other person spends the entire rest of the book looking after them. LIKE, MAYBE THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENS?  It takes a bit to get into it but also the sick one is kinda villainous and the one looking after him believes there’s good in him despite all evidence to the contrary. V good dynamic! 
8.  Wild At Heart by K.A. Tucker - I read and LOVED The Simple Wild last year and was so happy the author decided to write a sequel. I would read ALL the books about these two characters just living their life in this universe. I know Tucker is branching out and writing about other characters in the ‘verse and: eh. I only want to read about Calla riding snowmobiles and Jonah telling her how competent she is I’m sorry!!! Wild At Heart focuses less on romance and more on Calla getting used to Alaska but it’s still satisfying seeing them work out how to compromise and start a new life together. 
7. Beach Read by Emily Henry - I love when a romance novel has a lot of hype and it lives up to expectations (see The Roommate for the opposite, ugh that book was bad.) Honestly I get off just on the blurb of this book: he writes pretentious literary fiction! she’s a bestselling romance author! they help each other write and slowly fall in love at the same time! It also deals with slightly heavier themes and there is focus on a recent death and some other stuff which I know a few people struggled with but there’s plenty of humour and light-heartedness so it all works imo
6.  A Dangerous Kind of Lady by Mia Vincy - It is so rare for me to like every book in a Historical Romance series but Mia Vincy’s Longhope Abbey is 3/3 atm. I loved the first two (as mentioned last year) and this one is an A+ addition (ngl I have qualms about the fourth book but I think MV has won some trust at this point so.) We originally met these MCs in the first book when they were introduced as very happily married and devoted so rewinding to them being conflict-stricken and angst-ridden youths was great.
5. You Say It First by Katie Cotugno - So I simultaneously adored this and also found it irritating. This book focuses on ‘liberal’ Meg who has progressive values and is very involved in things like voter registration phonebanks. She ends up on the phone with Colby who is her age and struggling with his family’s lack of money, his dead-end job, etc and has no time to discuss how the electoral system could help him. From a political point this had the potential to be really interesting but I think it’s pretty mishandled by the author. I think she could have done a much better job at writing a character who has no faith in the political system for valid reaons but like, some of Colby’s opinions are just nonsensical? Also Meg often feels ‘liberal’ in a way that is twee and annoying and superficial. Why did I place this so high when I have such a list of complaints??? Despite all this, the relationship between Meg and Colby is so sweet and satisfying and well-built. Most it it takes place over the phone and I love that liminal space that exists just for the two of them. It managed to outweight my negatives!!!
4.  If We Were Us by K.L. Walther - I know people have had qualms with this book but I still loved it. The boarding school vibes; the friendships; the siblings. Quintessential YA things done well! Sage and Charlie are best friends and would be perfect together (valedictorian types) except Sage is far more into Charlie’s twin brother (v not valedictorian type) and Charlie isn’t into girls at all. Two good, satisfying romantic relationships found here folks!
3. Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall - FAKE DATING EXCELLENCE. I think every year I need something new to fill this particular category and Boyfriend Material is a really stellar entry. That being said, I don’t think there’s much actual fake dating going on in this book apart from premise-wise but we move! Luc and Oliver have a good mix of awareness and conflict so you get the Good Stuff TM of them being together and sweet and wonderful while still having to wait for their climactic Get Together.
2. Today Tonight Tomorrow by Rachel Lynn Solomon - I’m obsessed with “I’ve hated you all along! Wait... have I?” narratives and it’s executed so perfectly here. Rowan and Neil are two massive nerds and competitive rivals who end up spending their last hours of school together. There is very little plot to this book - it is almost 100% relationship development and hangout time - which is almost always all I ever want from romance.
1. Mix Tape by Jane Sanderson - I read this all the way back in January (what a completely different time in the world!) so it’s a testament to how good it is that I still feel strongly enough about it to give it pride of first place. This is the kind of book - because it’s not reeeeally genre fiction - that seems destined for a sad or, at the very least, ambigious ending but (HA!) it provides a warm, wholly satisfying happily ever after. Anyway if you’re into second chances after decades and decades apart and people communicating through songs and yearning and never being able to Let Go - this is for you!
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I’m on mobile and don’t know how to do a Read More thing so I apologize in advance! Here’s the post that y’all asked for!
•••
As more and more of us in the Friendom continue to reach out to Hulu, our chances of getting a renewal for our beloved show grow as well. There seems to be plenty of factors that will affect the outcome of our current efforts, and it’ll be a long wait until we hear anything regarding a final decision. But for now, let’s try to fast forward a bit:
After almost a year of waiting, corporate at both Hulu and Disney Channel have finally heard our voices. They have decided to renew Andi Mack for a fourth season to stream on Hulu. Both companies announce the news on their respective Twitter accounts, and news articles begin appearing across the Internet about this miraculous resurrection. Cast members take to Instagram with reunion photos captioned “Surprise!” and #themackisback starts trending on Twitter internationally. Those who have made their peace with the original series finale rejoice as the moment feels so surreal, and the entire Friendom overflows with joy. For a second, it all feels fuzzy and too good to be true. But that raises the question:
What Would Season 4 Even Be About?
•••
In this TED talk, I will be exploring a few of the things I feel would be interesting plot points and ideas for the show to cover. These are just ideas from all the emotions I’ve been feeling since the finale, but I hope that I’m able to communicate them properly and that you understand what I’m trying to say, lol. Here I go!
From a logical perspective, there are things we know that the fourth season will focus on:
- Andi’s time at SAVA
- Cyrus, Buffy (and possibly Jonah) starting at Grant without Andi
- Cyrus and Thelonious’ new relationship
- Buffy and Marty’s new relationship
•••
There are other things I want to see from the fourth season, and there’s just so much unexplored territory with these characters that it really is bittersweet knowing that these stories will never unfold on the small screen for us. One can hope, and we will still have fanfics written by those in the Friendom. However if we do get a fourth season, these are some things I personally would love to see.
- Andi developing a true sense of independence. Her whole life she’s had an tight-knit immediate support system through her friends and family, but now she’s going to a school where she doesn’t know anybody doing things none of her other friends and family have had experience in. She’s been surrounded by things familiar to her since second grade (or possibly before that) so seeing her grow into somebody separate from those things would be so amazing. She knows SAVA is where she belongs, and now she’s gotta prove it to herself.
- Andi-Cyrus development. We’ve gotten a lot of Andi-Buffy and Cyrus-Buffy moments, but the two definitely outweigh any development we’ve gotten from Andi and Cyrus. I mean, sure, they’re best friends! I know they love each other and are important to one another, but it still seems like some unexplored territory. I’m hoping they’re just as close as they are with the other seeing as they’ve known each other since the second grade. Though now that Andi is going to a different school, I don’t know how they would work that in.
- Buffy’s home life being explored. We’ve only ever met her mother a couple times, but her dad didn’t seem to be significant enough to her story for them to actually cast and write him into the series. There’s no doubt in my mind that her parents are insanely proud of her for her growth and accomplishments since the first season. However, it would be nice to see what kind of relationship she has with her dad.
- Cyrus finally coming out this parents. We were robbed of such a plot point because so many people, regardless of age or gender or race, have to deal with coming out to their families. As much love and acceptance as Cyrus deserves, I personally don’t want it to be one of those “we’ve always known, we still love you” kinds of coming out because those aren’t always the case. I think that when he does come out, I can imagine at least one of his family members not fully accepting of it. I’m not saying that Cyrus needs to be have a hard time coming out to his family, but in the long-run it would make sense. Also if Thelonious is already out to his parents, I’m hoping he helps Cyrus come out to his as well.
- We need more sibling relationships to be shown. As I’m writing this I’m noticing that a large chunk of the characters are only children? They’ve had a lot of different family structures represented but haven’t really focused on any sibling relationships. I think Cece and Mei, and Iris and her brother are the only siblings we’ve been given.
- Jonah getting the proper help he needs for his anxiety. I really don’t want them to forget about Jonah’s mental health, but it almost seems like they let it take a backseat to his family’s financial problems. Real anxiety doesn’t just go away, and seeing as Jonah’s only been dealing with it for roughly a couple of months, they wouldn’t just subside this quickly. Obviously I don’t want him to suffer attacks every day for the sake of him having them, but it does need to be fleshed out and handled a little better.
- Bex and Bowie making some new friends their age. Maybe other parents with kids at SAVA? Maybe Cyrus and Buffy’s parents? I understand it’s important to be involved in your child’s life, especially after secretly being her sister/non-existent dad for 13 years, but I can’t remember a time when either Bowie or Bex have mentioned any other friends their age. Other than M*randa and that lady that wanted to sue Bex (lmao) there haven’t been many other memorable young-adult interactions. They’ve been so focused on making up for lost time with Andi, making up for lost time with each other, and assuming their roles as parents that they haven’t really grown beyond their familial bonds. It would be nice to see how the act when they’re not in Responsible Parent Mode™.
- More character development for Amber. Now that the GHC (sans Andi) are going to Grant with her, she can be like their Big Sister Figure™ and help them adjust. We’d hopefully see her more often and get a look into what she’s like on a more day-to-day basis. See how she copes with her familial problems on the days they really upset her. Maybe even coming a bit more out of her shell and joining their school’s chess team.
- Thelonious fully coming to terms with his sexuality. I’m hoping, if he’s not already publicly out, that they develop his story of self-acceptance. Do his parents know? His grandparents? The other GHC? The way his sexuality storyline should be handled differently than they did Cyrus’ because everyone’s experience with their own sexuality is unique. I can’t think of how to word this properly, but TJ seems a lot more open and bold about it. He wants the world to know that he’s proud of who he is, because it’s true. Cyrus sought validation and security from others, only to find it in himself. TJ sought validation and security in himself, and found it in others. These two have such an amazing dynamic, and it would be amazing to explore TJ’s inner workings to the level that Cyrus’ have been.
- TJ and Cyrus being more than each other. I want them to branch out and grow into successful young people who value their own personal lives as individuals as much as they value the relationship they have together. Obviously Cyrus tries out for Grant’s drama club and TJ tries out for the school’s basketball team, but imagine their new interests! Cyrus on the debate team, TJ in the school’s orchestra, Cyrus on student council, TJ in a peer mediation group! The possibilities are endless.
•••
Those were some of the heavier things I thought would be likely/addressable in the show, but here’s some smaller, less thought-out ideas would still like to see:
- Walker also attends SAVA. I feel as though he’s at least a year older than the GHC (same age as Amber) and has been there a year before Andi.
- Marty possibly also being jealous of Buffy. Possibly as a result of Rachel being so jealous of Buffy. Not to the extent that it’s toxic, but just enough to create room for growth. A good way to address the cycle of jealousy. Plus Marty has no character flaws yet, soo.
- A social hierarchy at their new high school. Sure, Jefferson might have had one too with Christina or the boys’ basketball team, but high school hierarchies are very real. They’re both subtle and unspoken but also noticeable and in-place.
- All the Muffy and Tyrus hugs. Sadly leaving poor Jonah as the fifth wheel, lmao.
- Buffy, Jonah, TJ, and Cyrus are either suddenly too busy for one another or one realize they’re all growing apart. (Think of the dynamic between Shane and Mitchie in Camp Rock 2 lmao) High school does tend to separate people from one another, and peer groups shift all the time.
- Andi not cutting her hair short again. I’ve noticed that she cut her hair again somewhere around the beginning of Season 2 and again at the beginning of Season 3 maybe. Either it’s a personal choice for her, or the crew on the show wanted her to keep a consistent look (I’m going with the latter). I think that her hair growth could be a metaphor for her character growth, seeing as she’s branched out and not worried about keeping things the same anymore.
- Other groups of people being represented. Maybe we might get a Muslim character, a dark-skinned character, a non-binary or gender nonconforming character. While the show does have a way with tossing aside its background characters, it would still be great for them to be shown in the AM universe.
- The return of other background characters like Iris, Libby, Reed, pink backpack kid, Leo, etc.!
- Buffy continuing the trend of carrying Cyrus.
- Any other character questioning their sexuality, now that Cyrus (and by then, TJ) are out. We’ve all kinda headcanoned Amber to be lesbian, despite all the Jamber; Andi to be pansexual despite all the Jandi; Jonah to be bisexual, less and less as the show progressed; and Bex to be bisexual, though now that she’s married I don’t want anything to happen to Bexie.
- An episode or two focusing on racism. A little bit more real-life, internalized racism than the racial prejudice towards Buffy’s hair and the racial stereotypes Andi faced.
•••
There are so many possibilities that a fourth season could bring us! And with Hulu, they might have less restrictions than Disney Channel laid down. I know that we shouldn’t get our hopes up too much, but I felt as thought we should start discussing what a fourth season would even be like before asking for one without speculation. That’s all I have at the moment, but maybe as time progresses I’ll think of some other things that I’d like to see or remember some plot points they left open.
I hope that if we do get renewed that it will still feel like Andi Mack, and that the future content still possesses the same kind of energy it gave off so well. As of right now, for me, it’s still all a bit fuzzy. I can’t believe the show ended. We got what we wanted, and yet are still yearning for more. That’s when you know something is good material, when it keeps you hooked despite any and all of the curveballs it may throw.
Somewhere out there, Andi, and Buffy, and Cyrus, and Thelonious, and Marty, and Amber, and Bex, and Bowie, and Cece are all living their best lives. It was amazing to experience their stories alongside them.
♡ Andi Mack will live on in our hearts, Hulu or not ♡
•••
(I know, I use a lot of commas I’M SORRY)
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27emailsicantsend · 5 years
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OK YA’LL NEED TO STOP SAYING MARTY NEEDS TO GET A PERSONALITY IF WE GET A S4
He already has one: it’s heart eyes for Buffy Driscoll™️ 😂
But, seriously though, Marty is one of my favorite characters. I think because he doesn’t have a lot of drama, people are disregarding him as not having a personality (this happened in the fandom until Jonah had panic attacks as well).
But let me prove to you he does:
He plays basketball, but still has some work to go
Is really good at track- so much so that he placed first for his age. He’s even better than Buffy as far as we know (which seems virtually impossible but he did it 🤷🏼‍♀️)
He doesn’t mind talking too much about his feelings, but leaves and shuts down when he’s too upset
He is genuinely such a nice person. He listens to Buffy, goes out of his way to make sure everyone around him is happy, and literally just does his best, but to a fault at times- like with Rachel (he is seriously such a soft boi- I stan)
Also, because he is so nice, he definitely doesn’t associate with crowds opposite him. Hence why he probably didn’t try too hard to get to know TJ and why TJ still might not know who he is
He is a flirty-banting type with girls he’s into, but maybe he just bants with everyone as part of his care-free spirit
He seems pretty outgoing. Almost every scene Buffy sees him he’s talking to 1-3 people, so he presumably is a people person with a lot of friends (which explains why it wasn’t hard for him to talk to Buffy at the snack table)
I genuinely would have been best friends with someone like him when I was in middle school. I have a very aggressive personality type (Aries), so most of my friends need to be on the more relaxed/fun side to counteract that. I see so much personality in him!
~However, if the show does get picked up, I would like to see his family life or if he acts fun and banty like this with all of his friends, even when Buffy isn’t around or even a more personal trial that doesn’t involve Buffy’s arc~
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Listen I want Marty in S4 100% as much as all of you, but give him some credit here.
He DOES have a personality, ya’ll just weren’t watching closely enough. 😎✊🏻
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multimetaverse · 5 years
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Andi Mack 3x16 Review
One Girl’s Trash really showcased why Andi Mack is such an important show though I wish they would have spent more time on the stereotypes plot. Let’s dig in!
Positives: 
When Andi Mack is at its best there’s really nothing like it anywhere on TV and it’s going to leave such a void when it ends and I hope something fills that void sooner rather than later. 
A really strong A plot by Elena Song, it makes such a difference that the diversity we see on the show is mirrored in the writers room. I was so happy that they actually had Andi used the word Asian when talking about the stereotypes she was facing; it was a big improvement from the more coded way they had to talk about the racism Buffy faced back in S1 in regards to her hair. Words truly do matter and being able to openly and accurately describe these kind of things is so important.
Lilan and Peyton posted on how much this ep means to them and I hope we’ll be seeing more plots like this on kids TV. 
Honestly my only real complaint about the A plot is that it felt too short and I wish Celia had been in this ep and that Bex could have been brought in to, seeing three generations of Asian woman supporting each other would have been great. 
I also liked that Andi said that Mrs. Frankel turning the stereotyping into a teachable moment wasn’t fun which of course would be true in reality. I also appreciate that the show continues to put black women in positions of authority.
It was great to see Andi so into art again and it makes for a good way to bring her story to a climax.
Andi’s art project looked like something a 14 year old might come up with and I liked that she was inspired but didn’t immediately know what she was going to do for her project. 
Hangry and resting happy face were very funny jokes. 
A rare Andi and Cyrus scene. Liked the callback to the rainbow wig and the protest and the experiment; definitely a show reaching to its past as it prepares for the end.  And we get two callbacks to the party tonight to set up the finale. It did feel a bit tacked on but that’s likely because the writers wanted to get in some solo time for this duo before they run out of time. 
Stellar acting from Trent and Lilan this ep. Bowie talking about wanting to one day see Andi get married in Bex’s dress and how it wouldn’t happen now was so sad. That was some good Bexie angst. and it actually felt earned.  I’m glad it’s all out in the open now. Bex’s biggest flaw is that she runs from her problems and she was being willfully blind to the fact that obviously Bowie wanted to get married. Now she has to face reality and make her choice. 
Jonah was hilarious tonight. Asher was killing it with the comedy. His groan when he said he’d have to breakup with Amber again? Emmy worthy. There’s really not much to Jonah other than Frisbee and dimples and I like when they just use him as comic relief; it usually lands better than when they shove Cyrus in that role. 
Jonah is definitely true to life for the average 14 year old boy but in fairness at least he recognized that he didn’t reciprocate Amber’s feelings and that he had to eventually be honest with her. 
Nice little callback to 3x07 with Jonah wearing the same blue sweater he wore when he was with Libby at the school. And a nice realistic touch since he would be re wearing clothes. 
It was good of him to actually take her on a real date and I liked the detail of him winning tickets on the radio. 
Andi really is being a good friend to both Amber and Jonah and is giving good advice, though how long that lasts remains to be seen. 
Amber was the most likeable she’s ever been. Really strong performance from Emily tonight. Disney PR posted that she actually was driving the go kart which is cool. Must have been really fun to shoot. 
I liked that we opened on community service, too often this show just ignores the events of the previous ep. 20 hours of service for trespassing and theft versus 100 hours for playing with a gun is interesting
More set up for Buffy’s injury. 
Negatives: 
Jamber is a huge mess and really not a wise use of precious screen time. Amber is clearly looking for the affection she’s not getting at home and Jonah is probably the worst possible character on the show to seek that from. I really don’t know what exactly Amber’s version of a happy ending will be; there’s really nothing the show can do to solve her parents problems or her financial problems. 
Amber has always been an oddly written character. She’s never gotten the full redemption arc TJ had and the writers never seemed to truly settle on an arc for her. I get why she was in so many eps this season: unlike Garren they had Emily available from the start and didn’t have to work around her schedule and unlike Luke she’s not playing a gay character who’s story needs to be delayed until the very end but I really don’t think we needed Amber in 11 of the original 21 eps this season.
Jonah is another character who has been woefully under developed. I don’t think the writers ever decided what exactly was the deal with his not liking labels or commitments yet also being a chronic relationship hopper. He’s right that what he and Amber have can just be fun instead of love but then why is he dating her? Just stay friends! Part of the problem is that Jonah is first and foremost a love interest and they don’t tend to get much development but because Cyrus’ story has so many constraints the writers were forced to focus more on Jonah than they would have if Cyrus had been straight without really having much in the way planned for him. 
Cyrus’ shirt at school was ugly. A really bad misfire by the wardrobe department. 
Looking Ahead:
So the original casting notice released by our friends at Yun Casting was correct and Rachel is still Marty’s current girlfriend and the official Disney synopsis describing her as Marty’s ex is incorrect. I don’t think it’s ever happened before where the synopsis got a detail like that wrong. Obviously they break up at the bowling alley so maybe that’s why Disney wrote it that way? The casting notice describes Rachel as a co-star so she won’t get much screen time. 
It’s going to be very messy making Buffy a homewrecker. Her saying ‘’oh you’re real’’ to Rachel is quite a power move but then again Driscoll doesn’t draw.  Likely we see her twirling her hair at Marty since Cyrus is there and is the only one who knows about that tell. 
Good on Rachel for seeing what’s right in front of her. She was obviously just a rebound for Marty and he’s clearly been spending a lot of time with Buffy once she reached out to him. Not a good look to have him be emotionally cheating on Rachel for the last several weeks but I’m sure that will be swept under the rug in order to get that Muffy endgame. 
Buffy seems to be hobbling a bit so clearly her foot is getting worse. Does it get injured at the bowling alley or later on since she seems to be injured before the game itself in 3x18. 
Still no hint when the new Muffy pro player plot happens. It was meant to replace their scenes at the original wedding and it really does seem like the original wedding happened pretty quickly after 3x17 so I don’t know if they can delay those Muffy scenes all that long. 
It does look like the timeline is fairly smooth, it’s only been a few weeks since costume day and the rest of the series probably only spans another few weeks or a month in universe. 
Andi goes to SAVA. Does she stay there or transfer to a school elsewhere? Is it her moving in the finale or is Jonah moving far away? 
3x17 had Ham so we’re going to see some sort of cuts or re-shoots. The texts released before this ep had a convo between Bex and Bowie and Andi about a movie night do-over that was pretty clear foreshadowing for an ‘’I Do-over’’ convo in 3x17 even if that’s now cut. Bex talked about having a movie night do-over and Bowie questioned if it was a do-over if it never happened in the first place and Bex replied that she would give Bowie the movie night her deserved. Swap in wedding for movie night and you have a rough outline of the kind of convo we likely would have seen in 3x17 before the re-shoots. 
Ham obviously had an important role to play in getting the wedding back on track but what exactly we don’t know. And how Bex goes from not wanting to get married to agreeing to get married and agreeing to Celia’s lavish wedding plan in otl is an open question. The show has always struggled with pacing and they really should have had Bex call of the wedding earlier in the season rather than rushing it like this. It will be interesting if nothing else to see what kind of Mack family scenes we’re getting next week; there’s a range of possibilities from most of them being cut to a brief Mack family only wedding happening.
Therapist Cyrus is usually pretty boring and I wonder if his advice actually helps. His meddling often backfires like when he accidentally convinced Jonah to get back together with Amber in S1. 
I really don’t know if they can keep Andi completely romance free for the rest of the season. I did wonder if her asking Jonah to share a milkshake was going to lead to something.  She’s been very supportive of both Amber and Jonah but it seems like the kind of situation where the writers would make things messier for the drama, even if they didn’t fully think it through. 
This could very well be the last time we ever see the GHC inside Andi Shack. And come to think of it we’ve never seen Jonah inside of it and maybe we never will.
These last 4 eps are going to be wild. Until next week folks.
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tyrus prompt: museum field trip where cyrus gets on the bus to find that the only empty seat is next to tj. also whoever they sit next to is their partner/buddy for the day. you can make this as angsty (post 313, both hurting and not knowing how to deal but forced to by the situation, so close yet so far etc) or fluffy (closer to a date, maybe an au where this is the first time they get to know each other) as you want! either way, love the concept of field trip setting tyrus
“oh and muffy are also sitting together/partners, if you wanted both ships in the same prompt! those two as partners could be fun. competing to see who's faster to fill in the worksheet or whatever first, but ending up enjoying themselves at the different museum exhibits. how carefree they are could either contrast with angsty tyrus for more angst (wishing they could enjoy themselves like that too, like they used to) or make a fluff fic even fluffier, idk, good with either”
thank u for the prompt, enjoy!!
(word count: 1951)
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“What do you mean you’re not gonna sit with me?” Cyrus whined as he and Buffy walked to the bus that would be taking them and the rest of their history class to the Shadyside Museum of History.
Buffy chuckled, knocking into his shoulder, “I mean, I’m not gonna sit with you. Marty already asked me to sit with him, and it’s been long enough ago now since he broke up with his girlfriend. I’m not screwing things up this time.”
Cyrus deadpanned, “Well, you have always been known for your determination, didn’t know why I expected this to be any different.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and stopped walking for a moment as she exclaimed, “Cyrus!”
“I’m sorry! You know I’m team Muffy and all, but I have no one else to sit with since Andi and Jonah aren’t in our class,” Cyrus complained, stopping with her.
“What about TJ?” Buffy questioned.
Cyrus squinted, “Well...”
Buffy smacked him on the shoulder. “You still haven’t talked to him? Why? You’re, like, the king of communication. Andi and I had to physically constrain you from talking to him during the whole gun thing.”
“Why do you want me to talk to him? You’ve never exactly been his biggest fan,” Cyrus asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
Buffy sighed, “Because, Cyrus, I’ve seen how important you are to each other. There’s gotta be a reason he ditched you for the literal devil.”
Cyrus raised one eyebrow, deadpanning yet again, “You mean Kira?”
“I said what I said. Now, come on, we’re gonna miss the bus,” Buffy said, grabbing Cyrus’ wrist and dragging him to the bus.
They made their way on the bus as the teacher was giving them instructions, droning on about, “...Whoever you sit next to will be your study buddy for the trip, and you are to stay with them at all times so we can keep track of you all easier...”
Buffy sat down almost immediately as Marty was in the front, which left Cyrus to look down the aisle on the bus to see the only spot left open. He walked down towards almost the back of the bus and sat down, and he turned his head to spot the one person he did not want to see, the one person he would have to be around the entire day.
TJ.
Of course, Cyrus thought, of course the universe wants to play me again. Thanks a lot.
“Hey, Cyrus,” TJ mumbled, looking down, almost scared to talk to him, which surprised the smaller boy.
“Hey,” Cyrus breathed out. It was all he could manage, really.
“Looks like we’re partners for the day,” TJ added, now looking anywhere but Cyrus.
Cyrus just nodded slowly, not knowing what to say. He looked across the aisle just in time to notice Buffy taking a glance at the two of them, who quickly turned around as to not draw attention to herself. Yeah, that didn’t work. He pulled out his phone and texted her.
cy-guy: what are you doing?!
slayer: TALK TO HIM!!
slayer: it’ll be worse if you guys are just in silence the entire day, if you at least talk then it won’t be as awkward
cy-guy: i hate it when you’re right
slayer: you must hate it all the time then ;)
He turned off his phone and faced the other boy, who was looking out the window as the bus started to move. He swallowed his pride, if there was any there to begin with, and said, “So, what’ve you been up to lately?”
TJ’s head snapped to look at him as practically the speed of light. “Oh, uh, nothing really... basketball, you know.”
Before Cyrus could register what he was saying, he blurted out, “You been hanging out with Kira a lot?”
TJ blushed—figures, Cyrus thought—before he responded, “No, not really. ‘S not like I want to anyw— I mean, you know what, I should just stop talking.” He tried to laugh off what he said, but Cyrus had caught it.
Maybe not figures.
“Why wouldn’t you want to?” Cyrus questioned, trying to tread as lightly as he could. He wouldn’t push, but he couldn’t stop himself from adding, “You kinda did a costume together.”
TJ looked scared then. He tried to joke, “Asking a lot of questions today, aren’t we, Und—Cyrus?”
Cyrus just raised a patient eyebrow, waiting for him to answer.
TJ sighed, leaning his head back on the chair. “It’s just a lot to explain.”
Cyrus turned to face him entirely. “I’ve got the whole day to listen. If you want me to.”
———
Meanwhile, Marty and Buffy had quickly reassumed their usual bantering ways, as Marty had been reading her texts with Cyrus over her shoulder. “What’s going on with him, anyway?”
Buffy replied, “He’s just being unusually... quiet.”
Marty snorted. “‘S something you could never do,” he teased.
“Please, Mr. ‘I Ate a Live Frog’, you never know when to shut up,” Buffy teased back, nudging him on the shoulder.
“Only around cute girls, which you would know if you were around when I started talking to Rachel,” Marty joked.
Buffy made a pitiful face, “I am sorry about you guys— wait.”
“What?”
Buffy had a look of incredulity now, as she continued, “You thought I was cute?”
Marty blushed and chuckled, “I thought that was kinda clear when I asked you out on the bridge. And you turned me down.”
Buffy’s mouth went into a straight line at that. “Right.”
“Right.”
———
They arrived at the museum soon after, splitting up to roam around and look at different exhibits. Marty and Buffy dashed ahead of the rest of the groups, obviously caught in some competition, again. TJ and Cyrus hung back from mostly everyone else, riddled with awkward silence. They took their time throughout the museum, and TJ would stare intently at every exhibit as Cyrus took the notes they required.
Eventually, though, Cyrus got sick of the quiet game and said, “Okay, I know you’re a history buff and all, but the history of oil in Shadyside cannot be that interesting.”
TJ continued reading the wall, dismissing him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“TJ,” Cyrus said calmly, placing his hand on TJ’s shoulder, and it was only then that he looked towards Cyrus. “You can talk to me.”
TJ sighed, looking up at the ceiling, “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just... don’t know how.”
“Then I’ll try my best to listen.”
TJ looked around the room then, noticing it was next to empty aside from two other pairs of students, and he dragged Cyrus to a bench next to the exit for the next exhibit. They sat down, a beat of silence following them.
“Kira and I had never talked before. She introduced herself right before you had come over to me that one time. The next day, she came up to me again while I was practicing alone and asked me if I wanted to do a costume with her,” TJ began explaining.
“And you said yes because she’s a pretty girl and you’d rather to a costume with your crush than your friend. I get it,” Cyrus said, trying to make sense of it all.
“Actually,” TJ took a moment, “I said no, because I was already doing a costume with you. I didn’t want to do a costume with her at all. She kept persisting, and I kept turning her down. Finally, she said, ‘You’d rather do a costume with Cyrus than with me? Have fun with that.’ It felt like she was implying that it was bad I’d rather do a costume with a boy than a girl, like it was a threat.”
Cyrus gulped. “Oh.”
TJ continued, “I was so ready to do the costume with you, I had the board shorts on and everything, but I couldn’t help thinking she was going to do something if I didn’t match with her, so I... took the coward’s way out.”
Cyrus furrowed his eyebrows, trying to comprehend what the taller boy was telling him. “Because you didn’t want it to look... gay.”
TJ crinkled his nose. “If that’s how you wanna look at it, yeah.”
Cyrus immediately grew defensive then. “What’s so bad with looking gay? Do you have a problem with gay people? Because if so, I’m just gonna lea—“
“I’d be a hypocrite if I did, Cyrus.”
Cyrus’ eyes widened. “What?”
TJ leaned forward, analyzing the floor as he rested his elbows on his knees. “I am... gay. I just didn’t want people to know yet,” he mumbled.
“Oh.” Cyrus put a comforting hand on TJ’s shoulder. “I’m glad that you trust me enough to tell me,” he said, giving him the warmest smile possible. “And, I’m sorry that I jumped to conclusions about things.”
TJ looked up at him with soft eyes. He nearly whispered, “You have nothing to apologize for, Cyrus. This is all my fault, I should be the one apologizing.” He took Cyrus’ free hand in his. “I am so sorry, Cy. You have no idea.”
Cyrus dropped the hand that rested on TJ’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I get it, you got manipulated, which isn’t fair at all. You have nothing to worry about.” He paused, then added, “If it makes you feel any better, I know exactly how you feel.”
TJ’s eyes almost popped out of his head as he began stuttering, “I– you’re– wh– a-are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Cyrus smiled confidently, “I’m gay, too.” He’d come a long way, and he was proud of the fact that he could actually say that with confidence now. (As he should be.)
TJ just gave him one of his signature grins, a blush painting his cheeks. “Cool.”
Cyrus chuckled, “I’m getting a little deja vu.”
TJ furrowed his brows. “What?”
“Oh, nothing.”
———
“I told you I could answer all the questions first!” Buffy boasted to Marty, who simply laughed in defeat as they exited the museum.
“You always were the smart one, weren’t you?” Marty teased. “Just means I’m the more athletic one.”
Buffy elbowed his side. “Oh, you wish.”
They both walked in a comfortable silence for a few beats, blushes painting both of their faces.
That is, until Buffy mumbled, “You know, if you asked me out again, I wouldn’t turn you down this time.”
Marty turned to look at her overdramatically and shouted, “Oh, really?”
Buffy grinned, blushing even more. “Please don’t make a big deal out of this.”
Marty simply smirked, stopped, and took both of her hands, exclaiming, “The one and only, Buffy ‘The Slayer’ Driscoll, will you do me the honor of being my non-virtual girlfriend?”
Honestly, Buffy was just surprised no one was paying attention at that point, but she rolled her eyes and nodded in response.
Marty dropped her hands as they made their way back to the bus, muttering, “Took you long enough.”
Buffy scoffed, “Oh, don’t be so entitled.”
“You love me.”
“Maybe.”
———
Yeah, Cyrus and TJ has seen that whole thing as they were walking out of the museum, and they couldn’t help but laugh at the spectacle Marty had made. But, Buffy deserved it, she deserved to be happy, so Cyrus was happy for them. TJ was just grateful they wouldn’t have to watch the endless pining and banter anymore.
They plopped back down in their spots on the bus as TJ blurted out, “I’m really glad we made up. That was probably one of the worst weeks of my life.”
Cyrus took his hand, replying, “Me too.”
Cyrus didn’t care if Buffy was looking that time. TJ didn’t care if anyone was looking that time.
———
slayer: so, tj?
cy-guy: so, marty?
slayer: oh shut up
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kippentrash · 5 years
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(1/?)The fact that I thought them saying long distance was a metaphor for how the relationship is slowburn is probably far fetched right? I think Rachel will show up in 3x14, that would be some conflict possibly because Marty is shown running with Buffy :o If I'm gonna be honest I think Muffy will get together romantically but once I meet Rachel I'll either be like "love this new character!" or "i want to cry why are you this way" JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY DISNEY I BEG YOU
(2/?) Tyrus tangents always welcome! My heart broke for both of them. Cyrus is already insecure as we’ve seen and this can’t be good for his self esteem :( TJ is obviously going through something and I’m worried for what it is. Did Kira make him insecure? Or was it something different? Either way this emotional conflict (as you pointed out) feels almost bigger than the gun. Because Cyrus trusts Tj at this point, the gun situation was the thing to cement that
(3/3) Totally agree with being outsold like this episode, while hurtful in aspects was so GOOD. We’re seeing Jonah growth, Muffy and Tyrus growth and I am here for it!! Bexie not having a wedding I was actually okay with? Hopefully Andi’ll be okay too. My cats a Burmese! He just reached his 1st year yesterday :) you have a dog??? What breed? How old? Sorry I love dogs they are great animals -ghostie anon
So like this turned out pretty long bc I addressed pretty much everything you mentioned (most elaborately the buildup and teardown of Cyrus) plus more here and there. Like, I’ve typed a lot before, and I’ve put things under a cut before, but this is LONG. Like when I first got into the fandom and typed a weeks worth of responsed for the Andi Mack Month prompts long. SO UNDER A CUT IT GOES LOL (I’m sorry again for it being practically a 5 page essay ;w;)
To summarize: Rachel will definitely be an interesting aspect of the ep, the things showed of Cyrus’s insecurities plus the fact that somersaults are ‘their thing’ makes it all the more painful, I’m really excited to see what specifically they chose to do with TJ and his insecurities, Jonah’s doing better and I don’t want Jandi to ruin that, this episode has some cool parallels to 1x11, and this episode set up so much with each of the relationships I’m ready to see unfurl. Oh and rip Andi bigtime this episode.
Oh and so you don’t need to scroll all the way down, THAT’S SO CUTE MY FRIEND HAS A BURMESE TOO!!! He always looks like he’s constantly terrified lol I don’t think he likes me. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM!!! Doggos are amazing I have a yellow lab and I wub her sm
OKAY ONTO MY HELLA LONG RESPONSE TO YOUR ASKS I LOVE YOU AND IM REALLY SORRY IN ADVANCED 
Ooo that’s a cool thought! Maybe maybe! All I thought about the long distance thing is it was to show that Marty has changed a little during their time apart and that it was a plot device to show that Buffy’s competitiveness can cause her to get in over her head still, as well as you know the Marty worrying stuff. But that’s actually really interesting I hadn’t thought of it that way! I wonder how slow burn they can make it though considering how little is left for them to work with.
Pretty much anything Muffy related will cause conflict when it comes to Rachel tbh. Like just them standing next to one another with her knowledge will be something because of the sheer amount of sparks flying between them when they so much as look at each other LOL (You can see my Muffy stan jumping out). And I’m all for it! No offense Rachel, I know you probably make Marty happy and stuff but like… Muffy. I’m honestly kind of curious how Marty and Rachel’s relationship is going to be portrayed considering it’s going to be sunk FAST and I’m pretty sure Muffy will happen extremely soon after so. We’ll see how that goes. Because Muffy is definitely endgame at this point in my opinion, whether it be ambiguous because Rachel and Marty just broke up and they want to find security in the newly rebuilt relationship they have before starting anything or something they show with full confirmation and commitment on screen.
I’m trying my best to have NO expectations of Rachel so we’ll see what happens when I meet her lol. There’s no character in this show at this point I have ZERO opinion on I think (watch me remember some as soon as I finish posting this lol), so I’m pretty sure that I’ll definitely form some feeling about her in the single episode she’s in. But I’m kind of hoping they’re not that strong of feelings. So we’ll see how that goes I don’t want to feel bad for her but I also don’t want to just despise her for being a buffer between Muffy so. WE SHALL SEE WE SHALL SEE.
As for Tyrus, oh my GODS right? Looking at it from Cyrus’s perspective might pain me even more than looking at it in TJ’s. 
TJ’s the one person who’s constantly believed in him and never seems to be ashamed of Cyrus, and then this happens. He was the first one to tell Cyrus not to let anyone, even himself, tell him what he can’t do. Then take into account that somersault is one of those big moments in Cyrus’s life where TJ was there and believed in him and didn’t seem to be ashamed or put off by it, even though Cyrus and Andi had insisted it was something Cyrus was incapable of. Both him and his best friend tried to warn TJ against it, yet TJ didn’t give up on Cyrus and was so proud when he was able to do it. But now that same thing that TJ had once been proud of and shown no judgment towards and is something Cyrus considered to be their thing is what TJ winds up opting out of. 
It brings me back to s2 when Cyrus said “He wants to be friends with me. Who knows why.” And it makes me really want to cri everytiem. Like you said, the gun situation built up their friendship even more and established its solidarity, and you can tell they got even closer after it. He thought they were comfortable and that he was as important to TJ as TJ was to him (which he IS), especially after the whole “only person I can talk to like this” thing. So TJ not telling Cyrus something, along with that ‘something’ negatively having to do with something he thought was special to both of them, must be a real punch in the gut.  Maybe Cyrus is more secure in himself than I’m giving him credit for and is just feeling betrayed, but I think it’s more of both betrayal, humiliation, and questioning of their whole relationship (which I think I’ve posted about already lol). 
AND THEN if you take when he and Jonah were supposed to wear matching jackets together and compare that to him and TJ in this scenario, I’d think that this feels even worse. TJ was the one brought up doing a matching costume in comparison to him bringing up the jackets with Jonah, and instead of just being a jacket from a random sports game he didn’t care for, this was an inside joke that he emphasized was their thing. So it was bigger and more important. This may be me reading into it too much, but considering being ditched in a situation like this is now something that has happened to him before due to the Jonah thing, he might feel even worse about himself for letting it happen to him twice.
I’m putting a lot of emphasis on the fact that it’s their thing, because even though Cyrus and TJ both saying that in the episode was cute for the simple fact that they say they have a ‘thing’, I feel like by saying that it also draws attention to the importance of what the costume was in their relationship. It was them both being proud of having a ‘thing’ and ‘inside joke’ together. And I kinda keep in mind that Cyrus and TJ had been talking about the costume and its importance to two different people trying to stand their ground against two different costumes. They know both of them found the costume funny and was a cool joke between the two of them, but they didn’t necessarily know how much importance it held for the other. But one party backed out of something that actually holds importance and emotional value for someone they claimed they didn’t really hang out with much and with no warning at all. If it were me my anxiety would make me wonder whether it had actually been important to them at all or if it were all in my own head. ;=;
This scene just feels so built up from so many different times we’ve seen Cyrus feel insecure, and now that TJ’s become someone he doesn’t find himself feeling insecure around and someone he instead finds comfort in, having it all compound into TJ no longer being someone who he can feel he trusts makes it so much worse. Especially since it related to something he felt was important enough to them that he’d opted out of the GHC+Jonah costume.
And on TJ’s side I feel so bad that he feels like turning down Kira for Cyrus is something that wouldn’t normally be accepted, and I’m really curious what route they’re going to go in terms of which aspect of what she said had caused him to change his mind, because really there are a few different things they can go about using. They can draw it on the lines of peer pressure and social hierarchy, fear of being too obvious with how he treats Cyrus, make him question himself/his sexuality, etc. and whatever route they do take will essentially come back to TJ’s insecurity. 
But like I said, TJ’s never seemed to be ashamed of being close to Cyrus before and has never seemed to care about how being friends with Cyrus (or ‘a person like Cyrus’) might affect his image before, so I’m really interested to see what part of his insecurities caused him to ditch Cyrus. He’s in so much pain when he sees Cyrus (Luke OUTSOLD) that it makes me wonder what pushed him to even consider hurting both himself and Cyrus in the process. Especially when you consider the line from 3x7 where he talks about how if he knew Reed had a gun, he definitely wouldn’t have brought Cyrus. So yeah, I’m really curious and hope to see them actually specify what part of her threat caused him to decide to change his mind. They pretty much need to have him give some explanation to Cyrus in order for things to mend themselves.
I also wonder if TJ will feel bad enough about this to avoid Cyrus himself or if TJ’s insecurities will cause him to feel like he doesn’t have the right or can’t talk to Cyrus without it being risky, or if Cyrus will be avoiding him after this or anything. This seems like a big argument type of thing. No TJ next episode means no confrontation for at least a period of time in-universe, and I don’t think it’ll be Buffy and Andi policing Cyrus again this time. Cyrus is his own person, they know that and acknowledge that more than ever after the gun incident, and I think they know whatever he does in regards to TJ will be his own decision and will support his decision like the good friends they are. People are upset at them for jumping to conclusions about TJ ditching Cyrus but fact of the matter is their friend is extremely upset over something TJ caused, and they’re being protective. Sort of like when Amber had done some bad things to Andi, it took Cyrus and Buffy some time on their own to lower their defenses. Plus, looking at Cyrus’s face when he was about to cry after TJ leaves with Kira tells me that while the gun thing wasn’t that personal, this definitely was.
Please say that it’s not a plotline they shove offscreen for an episode like they did with Jonah and Libby before coming back to it. At least show Cyrus having some distress about it and talking about it with maybe Buffy or something. And please please please Andi Mack I beg of you stop hurting TJ like this he’s already gone through so much and he’s NOT EVEN A MAIN CHARACTER SALKDJASKLDJ Anytime he does something like this it will give me flashbacks to “classic TJ” and I DON’T WANT IT TO (okay yes I do because it shows it’s a powerful line and they’re using it to provoke me properly but you know what I mean)
Jonah, Jonah, Jonah. This poor boy. He’s growing into his own person and becoming more understanding that while he should take others feelings into account he also needs to pay attention to himself instead of just always putting on a brave face which I love. But jfc he has the worst timing to make these decisions. Andi already had so many other things just crashing down around her, adding his anvil to the pile was definitely an oof.
I really hope that now that they’re emphasizing both how Andi does not want to be the next ex in the lineup as well as how Jonah finds being in a relationship too demanding that it’s actually building up to a single Jonah endgame, or at the very least an ambiguous endgame. They have it pretty set in stone at this point that Andi and Jonah are fine with their friendship and that Jonah’s been getting himself into relationships he is most definitely not ready for, so with so few episodes left I can’t see how they can turn that on its heel and result in Jandi endgame without some major logic gaps. 
For the love of EVERYTHING Jonah take some time to be single. Amber always needing a boyfriend pales in comparison to you always getting a girlfriend even though you don’t even seem to want one???
Also random but I really like how his decision to not partake in the group costume paralleled 1x11 where Andi decided to not just make decisions to make Jonah happy. I feel like this episode in general paralleled bits of 1x11 here and there tbh. Maybe I’m just reading into it too much but not just Jonah and Andi making their own decisions instead of making everyone happy, but the whole costume aspect vs the prison uniforms, Cyrus wanting to back out of Mt Rushmore vs wanting to change into his own outfit for picture day, Buffy helping Cyrus find an replacement vs Buffy helping Cyrus find a way to use the prison uniform well for his picture, and Jonah not participating in Mt Rushmore just for Andi vs Andi not giving up on her movement and taking off the uniform just for Jonah are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head! I haven’t seen anyone mention it and it’s not like its a big obvious parallel, but it’s just some things I started thinking about after comparing Jonah and Andi’s ‘were we ever’-esque speeches.
AND FINALLY MUFFY, TYRUS, AND BEXIE PLOTS OPENING. 
Like you said, I love the develpoment they’re giving Muffy and Tyrus! Muffy’s being given time to show that they fit like puzzle pieces even after not talking for awhile and that even after they haven’t talked for awhile and left on not the best of terms, they still clearly care for eachother whatever way that is at the moment, and I can’t wait to see how they add to that care and their dynamic as we get to see the rest of Marty’s episodes in the season. Tyrus getting angst specifically related to their relationship like Muffy’s ‘I want it to be real/I don’t want it to change’, Bexie’s proposal(s) and last name decision, and Jandi’s… well Jandi’s everything since pretty much it’s always something personal blown out of proportion for Jandi is something I didn’t expect and am actually excited for the more I think about it! Like yes it’s going to pain me until the show is back, but I’m not opposed to the angst itself lol. So I’m ready to see how they grow and to what extent they grow by the finale!
Bexie not having a wedding I’m actually okay with too. Like there’s really no rush to get married, if they decide later down the line they do want to have a wedding or just want to officiate it that’s fine. They’re engaged, and they’re committed to eachother, and that’s enough for them if they can be a family. Of course, eventually they’ll probably want to go through with at least something small in the future (if you think hypothetically not with the confirmation they’re gonna have a wedding in show) that’s fine too. Honestly, considering they didn’t even go through the process of beginning to date again before proposing, I sort of think it’d be good for them if they prolong the wedding. There’s no time frame a wedding needs to occur post engagement, right?
I do feel bad for Andi though, since she was so excited and working so hard with Cece to plan for the wedding, only for it to not happen since of course it’s not her wedding and she can’t make them get married if they don’t want to. This episode was just so mean to her oh my gosh, from her parents’ marriage to her group costume, they were things she was so excited for but had to rely on others which ultimately fell through and she just can’t do anything about it really. PLUS trying to work out a friends’ relationship and make it work for them even though it’s really not something she should need to get involved with must’ve exhausted her. Trust me, I know. I know the feeling for both the being excited for something but commitments fall through and the feeling of how tiring it is trying to help friends in a relationship understand their own relationship. Lmao.
I think that was about it in response to what you said. Sorry again that it’s so frEAKING long and if you read this far (whether you’re ghostie or you’re just a random passerby on this LONG ASS POST) you a real one and I love you
I should have applied to TyrusChat with this much commentary i stg SLKAJDLKSAJ except I was too socially anxious to apply and have such disorganized thoughts to dump. Whoops.
I hope this made sense. It took me like 2-3 hrs to type this all out while discording my friends (not related to Andi Mack), so yeah. Hope this was a fun read and is somewhat coherent since it’s 2am. No proofreading we die like… dead people.
OVERALL: As you put it best...
“JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY DISNEY I BEG YOU “
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ourfavcanadianshawn · 6 years
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Hard|D.S|Imagine
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A/n: First Daniel imagine! I normally do Shawn, but thought it would be fun to start expanding to more fandoms. I’m still trying to overcome a few months of writing block. Hopefully, writing about new people will help. If my writing style seems different, it is because I’ve spent some time over on Wattpad writing a TV show based story. I hope you guys enjoy this one. It is based off of the song “Hard” by Why Don’t We. Also I changed some lyrics of the song to the perspective of a girl because I haven’t read anything based on Hard coming from a girls pov. Enjoy!
Warnings: A few cuss words maybe? Angst a little, but turns to fluff
Words: 3,112
Pairing: Daniel Seavey x Reader
“Where’s Daniel?” Christina asked, her arm loosely embraced my lower back as she searched the side of my face for an answer. My mouth continued to contain a prominent sulk as no words were able to construct in my head a response. Instead of shaking or nodding my head, I gave her a halfhearted shrug and continued to stare blankly ahead to the bowling lane gutters.
Christina dropped her arm from my back and walked to be in my line of vision. She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at me. “Why isn’t he here for your birthday party that was his idea to throw?”
I exhaled heavily before matching her stance, “I guess he’s with Rachel.”
“You’re kidding me, right? He’s ditching his best friend on her birthday to go hang out with some random girl?” She exclaimed, throwing her arms up to match her level of confusion. I let a shaky laugh escape my lips as I looked away from her to where the other four band members of Why Don’t We stood. Corbyn held a green bowling ball in his hands while trying to align it with the pins from between his legs. Zach, Jack, and Jonah stood watching him as they chewed on my birthday cake. 
I was beyond thankful that the boys were able to join me on my birthday, but I would have been more thankful if Daniel could have come—even if it was for a few minutes.
“Christina, she’s his girlfriend. You act like you have the jurisdiction to make him attend this party. I’m just happy that I could have you, Anna, and the boys here,” I genuinely smiled for the first time tonight as I placed my hands on her shoulders, returning my gaze to meet her eyes.
She shook her head and brought me into a hug. “You would be even happier if he was here, though.”
“I guess even when it’s your birthday you can’t get everything you wish for,” my smile dropped into a more saddened one. My teeth were no longer visible as I barely held onto the grin. I let go of Christina as Corbyn came over and wrapped an arm around her back.
“Why does the birthday girl look so glum?” He furrowed his eyebrows at Christina and nodded his head in my direction. I let out a breathy chuckle and rolled my eyes.
“Take a look around, Corbs,” Christina whispered up at him. His face fell into curiosity as his eyes took a gander over the bowling alley. His eyes finally landed on my figure again as he glanced over at his band-mates. 
“This is a joke,” Corbyn forced a chuckle and let his head fall back, “Jerk can’t even show up for the party he’s been talking about for weeks? That’s really low of him.”
“Hey, he’s not a jerk. He’s just spending time with Rachel,” I said, wrapping my arms around my midsection.
“I still can’t believe how blind he is not to see the amazing girl he has in front of him,” Corbyn scoffed as he pointed to me. I frowned, “Because he already has an amazing girl by his side.”
I truthfully spoke. Rachel was an amazing girl. Never made me feel left out.
“Why are you so supportive of her dating Daniel? She always seems to break him. He should be dating you,” Christina spoke, tucking herself under Corbyn’s arm.
“Because…Because this isn’t my longtime dream where I’m with him and living the happy ever after I want to experience. This is reality…and in reality, she gets to have the happy ever after I want and so that narrows my dream in reality down to just him having eternal happiness, even if I can’t be the source of it, she is. His happiness comes first,” I explain to them. 
“Y/n,” Corbyn started, “You will never see it, will you? You are his happiness. Every time you enter the room, every weight seems to be lifted off his shoulders and a smile somehow always manages to become present on his face when you speak to him.”
I let out a huff and forced a smile at Corbyn, “And yet, he can’t even make an appearance at my birthday.”
It’s hard to act like I don’t think about you sometimes. I should win an Oscar.
Something in my head was hoping that I could be stood corrected, that Daniel would walk right into the bowling alley with a bright smile on his face and open arms ready to be accepted by me.
I sat down at one of the benches and roughly undid my shoes. I heavily sighed as one shoe dangled in my hand after hearing my phone ping from beside me.
iMessage from Dani:)
Can I stop by? I just really to talk to somebody…
I sighed again and typed, “of course.”
I told everybody goodbye and thank you for the gifts before driving back to my apartment.
I walked down the hall to my apartment to find Daniel sitting in front of my door with his head in his hands. My footsteps grew louder to him as I came closer.
He retracted his head from his hands and looked up to me to see a few birthday bags in one hand and my car keys in the other.
A quaint gasp escaped passed my lips as I took note of Daniel’s reddened aqua hue orbs and the unbroken stream of tears cascading from them.
His lips quivered as his eyes trailed up from the birthday gifts to my eyes.
He choked on multiple held back sobs. “Please don’t tell me I screwed up for the second time tonight.”
Guilt covered his face as his eyes pleaded for forgiveness. His whole body language seemed as if he wanted to hide under a blanket and fade away. “Dani…” I sighed as I ushered him inside my apartment. He sat on the couch as I rushed to get changed into some more comfortable clothes. 
“What happened?” I questioned as I walked into the living room. I took a seat next to him on the couch and brought him into my embrace. 
It was my birthday, right at the end of the night. It was that first time, she hurt you bad and you cried. Right in my arms, fell to a million pieces, held you together, boy, I know all your secrets.
“She told me she didn’t see our relationship being a long-term like I did,” he coughed and laid his head down into my lap. I took his beanie off of his head and began running my hands through his hair—the only way I had ever managed to relax him.
“I mean you know how much I have thrived for a good, long-standing relationship. Something that I would never do…she did with no hesitation,” he squinted up me. I nodded my head along to his words, my heart twisting with every syllable spurred from his lips.
“I never understood the crazy concept of love. I thought I did. I swear I did. Every lyric I’ve sung, every note I’ve played I thought all came from what I believed to be this crazy feeling of love. Yet, I still believe that I know the feeling of it,” he mumbled, finally locking eyes with me as I stared down at him.
“I am sorry. For forgetting your birthday, Y/n,” Daniel sincerely said. I smile down at him and cupped the side of his face. “It’s okay. You had much more going on.” 
Daniel sat up and pulled me into a bear hug.
“I wish I could easily fix my relationship with Rachel like how I can with you,” he mumbled into my hair.
Do you know what is to, be the one to fix you? And all you do is run back to the one who breaks your heart.
Daniel had got picked up by Rachel later that night. Somehow I always walk into the trap of rebuilding Daniel just to have him go running back to be knocked back down.
You’re makin’ this too hard.
“Hey, why does Daniel look so lost?” I asked Jonah after fiddling my way through the crowd of people at the boy’s house party—a week to be exact after my birthday. Jonah narrowed his eyes at me and shrugged.
“Take a guess,” he sipped on his Sprite.
“Where is she at?” I frown, referring to Rachel.
“She stood him up,” Jonah matched my frown and carefully watched as Daniel leaned against the wall with his phone screen illuminating his face. 
I watched him take a deep sigh and look up from his phone, immediately making eye contact with me. He forced a smile and nodded for me to come over.
“Looks like Prince Charming is looking for his true Cinderella,” Jonah chuckled at me, taking my soda and nudging me in Daniel’s direction.
I know I said I’ll be your friend, but it’s too hard. Hard, it’s just too hard. I said I’ll be there to the end, but it’s too hard. Hard, it’s just too hard. You keep runnin’ back to her, I know it’s hard. Hard, it’s just too hard.
“Hey, Y/n, are you having fun?” Daniel asked, bear hugging me, slightly cracking my back while at it.
I coughed slightly and hugged him back. “For the most part.”
“So I’m guessing you and Rachel are back together?” I cock my head at him.
“Well, not technically. She is willing to try out the long-term thing for me,” he beamed, his blue eyes shining with admiration as he spoke about her. I could see it in his eyes, he did know what love was. He knew the feeling of giving it. But sadly, something told me he didn’t know the feeling of receiving it.
“Also thank you, for cheering me up that one night,” Daniel quirked, pulling me into another hug, “It’s good to know I have a friend like you!”
Rachel finally showed up to the party. Jonah stood corrected. 
I watched in misery at Daniel and her slow-danced in the middle of the house as Christina and Corbyn swung in unison beside them. I focused down on my cup and kept swirling it around in my hand. 
My eyes came back to match up with Daniel’s figure twirling Rachel around as if she was truly a princess. I felt my heart drop. 
I saw a hand being held out in front of me, my eyes traveled up the arm to find Jonah grinning down at me. “You want to dance?”
“Sure,” I replied, taking his hand and joined him on the dance floor. Jonah tucked his hands on the middle of my back as I rested mine on his chest. He led us around the dance floor to where we swayed next to Daniel and Rachel. 
Daniel slowly took his eyes away from Rachel to lock eyes with me. An unreadable emotion flashed in them as he took notice of how close my body was with Jonah’s. I quickly glanced away at the floor and turned from the couple, swaying more with Jonah.
“You need to tell him,” Jonah sighed down at me, bringing me closer. I shook my head and relocated my hands to on top of his shoulders, “No, I don’t. I’m avoiding them.”
Jonah quickly peered over my head and nodded to someone behind me. 
“Not for long,” he whispered and quickly twirled me around until I was in a different set of arms. 
“Hi stranger,” I heard Daniel whisper from above me. I look up to be met with his glistening blue eyes.
I took a deep breath and exhaled heavily, “Hi.”
Daniel chuckled at the monotone of my voice and pulled me closer to him. His scent lured my head in to rest on his chest. The strong earthy smell he wore always brought a feeling of security to me.
“Smooth move you did there, Dani,” I complimented as I referred to the sly switch up him and Jonah had achieved. He beamed down at me and moved his right hand from my waist to clasp mine. 
“Well, of course! Anything to secure a dance with the best girl here,” he gently twirled me. As I came back from the twirl, Daniel’s eyes sparkled with esteem and wonder. He studied my face before displaying his teeth to me. Daniel kept a secure hold on me as he drew me back in. He rested his forehead against my shoulder causing me to feel his hot breath on my cheek.
“Has anyone ever told how stunning you look?” Daniel mumbled into my ear so I was the only one who could hear it. I shook my head at him with my pink tinted cheeks.
“Tonight? No,” I tighten my grip on his hand. “Personal” by The Vamps started to hum through the room.
Daniel brought his head up to normal where he could look down at me. He sent me a dazzling smile before casting a glance to another couple next to us. His eyes locked with mine again before replying, “I didn’t specify tonight. You always look stunning, Y/l/n.”
“Give me a break,” I chuckle as he just continues to stare at me. 
“I would never lie to you,” Daniel shook his head at me.
My eyes wandered to meet with Jack’s figure, which was leaned against a wall, an evident smirk plastered across his face. He nodded to Daniel and gave me a thumbs up.
“Tell him,” he mouthed to me. Once again, another heavy sigh fell past my lips. I looked up at Daniel who was already focused on me. 
“Hey…I have something to tell you,” I stammered as I awaited his reaction. 
The turquoise hues glistening around his irises flashed with an emotion of worry. “Everything okay?”
“Totally…but—“ “Hey, Y/n, do you mind if I cut in? A girl can only stay away for so long from her soon-to-boyfriend-again,” Rachel cut me off by sweetly tapping me on the shoulder.
“Just a minute. Y/n has to tell me—“ “Forget it,” I faked a grin as I cut Daniel off and retracted my arms from behind his neck.
“Are you sure?” He took a step near me causing me to step back. “I’m fine.”
“But Y/n—“ “Enjoy the party!” I say in a rush as I quickly dashed out of the house.
I felt hot tears running down my cheeks as I turned to look through a tall window that harshly displayed the scene I had just left. I watched as Rachel attempted to wrap her arms around Daniel, just to have him say a few words to her and start walking to Jack.
I shook my head and drove home until I saw a text from Jack.
iMessage from Jack
He broke up with her...
I groaned and continued driving.
Hard, it’s just too hard.
“Why did you leave the party so early last night?” Daniel questioned as he burst through my apartment door. I turned to him from my place on the couch to see him still in last nights clothes. The dark bags under his eyes communicated that he got no sleep last night.
“I wasn’t feeling well,” I shrug.
“Or was it because you didn’t like Rachel calling me boyfriend due to you being in love with me?” He rushed to stand in front of me. That was it. Every barrier had been broken down that I had built to keep him and my feelings separated.
“Daniel…I can’t do this right now,” I mumbled, standing to walk past him. He carefully gripped my wrist and turned me to face him.
“Not until you tell me by what Jack meant when he said that you’re in love with me,” Daniel ushered as he crossed his arms at me.
“It’s pretty self-explanatory from there. What do you want me to say? No, I’m not? I’m sorry, but I can’t lie to you Daniel,” I cried out, refusing to look into his eyes.
“Then why didn’t you tell me? That’s a lie there,” He threw his hands up in anger. “It was a lie I was willing to dwindle in,” I sigh before finally locking eyes with him. His blue eyes bored into me as if I had just killed his whole family.
“Why?” He whispered, his voice on the verge of cracking.
“Because you were happy.”
“Who said I was?” He raised an eyebrow. A outbreak of bewilderment spread across his face. His jaw was slightly opened and his hands were position of saying “what?” 
“I didn’t need confirmation…you showed it,” I admitted. Daniel let out a dry laugh. His face fell back to a stern one as he flailed his arms around in small motions. “Is this a joke?”
“Daniel…this isn’t a joke. Why do you think I stayed to cheer you up when nobody else would? Even though you break my heart directly afterwards every time by crawling back to her. I just don’t know how it’s possible, but even when you break my heart, I still love you with every cracked piece of it,” I exclaimed as tears cascaded down my puffy cheeks. Daniel stood a few feet in front of me with glossy eyes.
“Y/n, I always went back to her because she was my attempt to get over you,’ he paused.
“I remember you telling me one day that if you repeat a word over and over again, it loses its meaning...and that’s complete crap because you don’t know how long I lay awake at night, repeating your name and all it ever does is just grow the power of love I have for you,” Daniel sincerely said, moving to be in fingers length from me, “I never told you how I felt because I was scared. Scared to lose you. And if that ever did happen, I would be losing my best friend, my laugh, my smile, my muse….my purpose.”
“Daniel…every time I see you with Rachel it reminds me to swallow my pride. I never knew how powerful loving someone could be,” I opened up. Daniel smiled as he wiped a few of my tears.
“Imagine how I feel. Being in love someone. It feels like you’re free-falling with no net below to catch you. Just hoping that your person will be able to,” Daniel explained while caressing my cheek in his hand. 
“Will you be there to catch me?” I asked while becoming engrossed in his eyes.
“Over and over again,” he whispered before connecting our lips. 
“I’m in love with you Y/n Y/l/n.”
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ahouseoflies · 5 years
Text
The Best Films of 2018, Part III
Parts I and II are here and here.
GOOD MOVIES
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70. Mid90s (Jonah Hill)- I usually applaud filmmakers for letting visuals tell the story instead of spelling everything out, but Mid90s needs to spell some more stuff out, especially at the truncated end. His brother brought him an orange juice, so all of the abuse is forgotten? I need a bit more there.
I was always going to be in the tank for this though, having been the same age as the protagonist at the time, owning some of the same shirts as him and hanging some of the same posters on my wall. Despite the "My First Screenplay" beef I had up top, each supporting character gets something to do. Hill shows promise as a director (and the fingerprints of his influences) by being able to shift between poles of emotions in a matter of seconds.
69. McQueen (Ian Bonhote)- Although it waits too long to get into McQueen's depression, this documentary does an adequate job of showing the ups and downs of his life. It was great seeing things I've only read about, like the Voss show.
Here's the thing though: I'm not a genius, but if I were, I would hope that my closest friends and advisers would be able to articulate what made me great. A little less "We were working sixteen-hour days." A little more "He changed art forever."
68. Beautiful Boy (Felix Van Groeningen)- For better and worse, this portrait of a parent's worst nightmare is unrelenting. Surprisingly, the toughest moment is when Nic is fierce with pride, clean for fourteen months. Because when you pause and see that there's an hour left in the movie, you shudder at how low he might end up going.
Van Groeningen's sort of french braid of past and present hasn't changed for his English-language debut, but things worked best for me when he locked in on Timothee Chalamet's mannered but touching performance. I wish the movie had a proper ending.
67. The Kindergarten Teacher (Sara Colangelo)- This takes a little while to get sick and twisted, but I liked it once it did. Part of why it works is Gyllenhaal's commitment to the role. As dark as the character gets--and the film does seem hell-bent on establishing her as a failure when I'm not sure that's true--Gyllenhaal never judges her. It's probably her best performance since SherryBaby.
As for Gael Garcia Bernal, who plays a poetry professor who kisses people and then apologizes and says that he misread the moment and acts all bashful, are we sure about him? Are we sure he's good at acting?
66. The Spy Who Dumped Me (Susanna Fogel)- The spywork of the last half-hour is way too convoluted, but the comedy is fast and loose in service of a sweet female friendship. We're at the stage with the genius of Kate McKinnon in which I just assume that she came up with anything funny on the spot. For example, there's an off-hand joke that her character went to camp with Edward Snowden and was surprised that the news didn't mention how "into ska" he was. It's so bizarre that it had to be improv. Later, when Edward Snowden shows up as a character, I had to admit that the movie was tightly written. But I assumed it was McKinnon first. 65. Ready Player One (Steven Spielberg)- Halfway through Ready Player One, there's a sequence that takes place inside The Overlook Hotel of The Shining. The characters are walking through a photorealistic recreation of that setting, down to the smallest details, but it has been repurposed with different angles for this film. Not only have I literally never seen something like this in a movie, but I never imagined the possibility of such a thing existing. And somehow...it's corny and derivative.
So goes Ready Player One. It takes the simple pleasures of a Chosen One narrative with a killer villain, loads every corner of the frame with Ryu or Beetlejuice or a Goldie Wilson campaign poster, and punishes you with maximalism. Each piece reliably contributes to the whole, sometimes in thrilling and amusing fashion, but no matter when you check your watch, forty-five minutes are left.
When imdb came out, Steven Spielberg was one of the first people I looked up. What shocked me was how many projects I attributed to his direction when he had only produced them. In my kid brain, Spielberg had directed Gremlins or Goonies or An American Tail. They had his imprimatur of whimsy and wonder and childhood identification even if they were, you know, a bit more conventional and less purposeful than the movies he directed. Well, not since Tintin has there been a Steven Spielberg-directed film that feels more Spielberg-produced.
My favorite reference was the Battletoads. Or more accurately, imagining the seventy-two-year-old filmmaker going, "Oh, you know I gotta get the 'Toads up in this bih!"
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64. Ben Is Back (Peter Hedges)- Despite a little bit of note-card screenwriting--"Get a line about how insurance doesn't care about drug addiction in there!"--The first two-thirds take their time revealing information to the viewer, dropping bread crumbs of the family history quite gracefully. Roberts and Hedges play off each other well, and their charisma powers the first half. She, of course, has an ample bag of Movie Star tricks, but, surprisingly, he already does too. You can see, in the confrontation at the mall, for example, how the mother's dissembling and conniving would pass down to him.
So it's a real bummer when the final third decides to separate the leads and rushes to a baffling conclusion. It falls apart like few movies in recent memory.
63. Avengers: Infinity War (Anthony Russo, Joe Russo)- Whatever. I admire the skill that it must have taken to balance the revolving wheel of characters--even if it does feel like check-ins half the time. The movie is exhausting in a bad way until it's exhausting in a good way. More importantly, here are my power rankings. (Their power in my own heart. Thanos is obviously the most powerful.)
1. Rocket 2. Hawkeye (Renner Season even when it isn't.) 3. The Collector 4. Black Panther 5. Thanos 6. Iron Man 7. Ned 8. Nick Fury 9. Star Lord 10. Thor (His scene with Rocket is the best one in the film.) 11. Gamora 12. Hulk (Your boy is so earnest in this. "They KNEW!") 13. Spider-Man 14. Wong 15. Okoye 16. Doctor Strange (Way cooler in this than his own movie.) 17. Captain America (His hair was beautiful.) 18. Drax 19. Pepper Potts 20. Falcon 21. Groot 22. Black Widow 23. Winter Soldier 24. Loki (Is he alive? Was he alive before this? Can he impersonate people or whatever even if he's dead? What's his deal?) 25. Scarlet Witch (Her first line is, getting out of bed, "Vis, is it the stone again?") 26. Gamora's Sister (No, you look it up.) 27. War Machine (Do you think Cheadle forgets that he's in these? Like, he misses a day of shooting just because he forgot?) 28. Vision 29. Whatever Peter Dinklage Was
62. The Old Man & the Gun (David Lowery)- Sissy Spacek's character explains, on a tour of her house, that she pulled up some wallpaper and found a signature from 1881 underneath, which is so unique that--ugly as it is--she couldn't bear to cover it. The movie is sort of about that. Does a way of life from a long time ago matter now?
Does it matter how you present yourself? How much does intention cancel out action?
The questions play themselves out in a way that is formally interesting--Lowery swish-pans and advances the scenes in a way that he hasn't since Ain't Them Bodies Saints--but informally pretty dull. Redford is engaging as possible, but I feel like I maxed out on my concern for a person who refuses to change.
I've had the Sean Penn "on one" scale for a long time, but I'm introducing the "off one" scale for Casey Affleck, who is so purposefully muted that he seems like he's going to pass out in some scenes. Keep doing you, Case. As far as acting goes.
61. Disobedience (Sebastian Lelio)- I admired how little the film spelled out about the setting and the characters' pasts. The beginning is cautious without being slow, and the women seem drawn to each other with a sort of magnetism that is difficult to pull off. While the triangle of people at the center is realistic and fair, the picture is ultimately a bit staid. I don't want melodrama out of the story either, but I do think it would work better if the characters were more passionate about anything, even the religion that makes them lack passion. 60. Crazy Rich Asians (Jon M. Chu)- This movie is sweet, and it nails the rom-com fulcrum scenes that it has to. Hear me out though: Both of the leads are winning, and Henry Golding's charm keeps us from acknowledging that his character is a psycho. Here is a list of things that, over the course of a year, he does not bother to tell his girlfriend:
a. That his family is the wealthiest in Singapore. Or wealthy at all. But more notably, he tells Rachel no details at all about his family, such as his brothers' and sisters' names. b. That he skipped an important trip home a few months ago, which caused a rift in his family. c. How to pack or dress for their trip to visit his family. d. That his mother did not want them sleeping together at her house, not that he "wants her all to himself." e. That his family wants him to take over their business, which would necessitate a permanent move to Singapore. f. That he went out with one of the women attending the bachelorette party, and that this woman has very good reason to sabotage Rachel and Nick's current relationship. g. That the wedding they're attending is also a super-rich affair that will be covered by international media. h. That the wedding party they're attending the night before is a formal affair with hundreds of guests, not the "family party" that he presents it as. By the way, this is one of the two times that he not only doesn't accompany her to an event, expecting her to meet him there and find him, but he doesn't even send a car. i. That he's thinking about proposing to her. "We haven't even talked about that stuff," Rachel tells her mother.
Communication is key, Nick.
59. Lean on Pete (Andrew Haigh)- I liked the first half and its patient doling out of information. Haigh sews quite a few credible threads to show why the gruff Dell would take a liking to Charley. When the film diverges into a drifter story, I got frustrated with it. To me, drifter characters aren't interesting because they take unpredictable actions, what enliven films, and make them predictable. A dine-and-dash is a dangerous, exciting thing to happen in a movie, but when this scared kid has already done so much similar running, it dulls that edge. This is Haigh's least successful film, but it's still empathetic and sensitive.
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58. Hereditary (Ari Aster)- The first third of Hereditary is when it is at its most intimate and compact as a story of grief. And with the bridge of a genuinely shocking event, it becomes less Don’t Look Back and more of a hellish explainer.
Ari Aster is a master craftsman already, investing every element with intention, down to “Why are clocks so present in the frame?” That craft extends to Toni Collette, who is even better than she normally is. But in refusing to be mysterious and small, the film didn't connect with me on a level beyond admiration..
57. Gringo (Nash Edgerton)- The expository information about the company comes too late, the ending is too tidy, and I'm not sure what my girl Mandy Seyfried is doing in this. But it's funny overall, in large part because Theron and Edgerton bounce off each other beautifully, projecting a very specific brand of nouveau riche awful. She says, "Fat people are...hilarious," and he wears too many accessories in his pick-up basketball game, for which there's a running clock.
Many of these crime comedies fail because all of the characters are painted with the same cynical brush, but Oyelowo is so likable here as a frazzled guy in over his head, playing against the type of simmering dignity he inhabited as someone like Martin Luther King. I'm glad that he's getting at-bats with something this different.
56. Bad Times at the El Royale (Drew Goddard)- If you like table-setting (and I do), then this is going to be a fun time. Each room at the motel gets a two-sided mirror, each character is two-faced, many events are presented from two perspectives, and there's even a double in the title. It's hard not to share in Goddard's delight as he patiently lays out all of the Tarantinian pieces.
Once he has to start declaring things though, somewhere halfway in the meandering two and a half hours, the film doesn't end up having much to say. I'm not sure I wanted another Cabin in the Woods ending, but I did want it to add up to more than the modest pleasures that it does. Kudos to Chris Hemsworth and his dialect coach for finally piecing together a serviceable American accent.
55. Thunder Road (Jim Cummings)- As far as calling card movies go, this one is a pretty smart character study. It centers on how the things we find important, the impact of words in this case, can often be the things we struggle with the most, through dyslexia and spoonerisms and messed-up jokes in this case. That being said, no offense, the film would be 25% better with a more capable lead actor. 54. Annihilation (Alex Garland)- Much like Sunshine, another Alex Garland script, this story handles the mystery elegantly, with jolts of real horror, until we get where we're going, which doesn't live up to the promise. I do appreciate that it respects the viewer's intelligence--withholding answers to questions, sometimes never answering questions. I'm grateful that it exists. 53. BlacKkKlansman (Spike Lee)- Like Chi-Raq and Red Hook Summer, BlacKKKlansman would make for a hell of a YouTube compilation if you cut together its best moments. It's sharp and vital when it's at its best, which is pretty much any time it's commenting on the present, through "Now more than ever" Nixon campaign posters, mentions of how David Duke's policies might show up in Republican platforms, or the searing epilogue that brings back one of Lee's oldest tricks.
Like a lot of his recent work though, it's a mess tonally, and basic stuff like the timing of the cuts seems amateurish. I also think Lee's relationship with Terence Blanchard is hurting him at this point; the music doesn't match what's going on at all. I wish it hung together better than it does.
52. Widows (Steve McQueen)- This is the messiest film that Steve McQueen has made, which is its biggest strength and its biggest weakness. That loose quality allows for some expressive moves, such as when the alderman candidate takes a real-time two-minute ride from the poor area where he's campaigning to the tony area where he lives, in the same district. This is a film with admirable ambition to go with its cheap thrills.
But that same messiness produces as many bad performances (Farrell, Neeson, and, yes, Duvall) as it does good ones (Debicki, Henry, Kaluuya), and it elides so many moments near the end that I have lingering questions about whether a major plot point was even resolved. This is definitely the type of movie that has a three-hour cut that is better, and I still hope that director's cut doesn't waste five scenes on Debicki's prostitute relationship with Lukas Haas. (Where is his sliver of a face on the poster?)
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51. The Death of Stalin (Armando Iannucci)- I feel as if I have to adjust to the astringency of any Iannucci property, and when I do, I laugh a lot. This movie is hilarious, and I'll save you from a list of the jokes that work the best.
Iannucci and his collaborators take one of the most violent, tyrannical periods of history and expose its perpetrators as sniveling, feckless children who might accidentally spit in their own faces as they're trying to spit on someone else's. Destabilizing those in power--in this case de-memorializing them--and portraying them as lost, scared humans is the goal of satire. So even though he does it so well, part of me wonders, "Is that it?" Bureaucracy is dumb? Isn't this an easy target? For what it's worth, I felt the same way about In the Loop, despite everyone else's praise. I'm waiting for Iannucci to find a weapon sharper than the middle finger.
50. Tully (Jason Reitman)- In a way, it's refreshing for a screenwriter to be bad at writing men. The outdated, clueless, manchild dad is the biggest weakness of the script, especially since everything else is pitched with such realism. There's also one scene that I hate but probably shouldn't spoil.
Put aside that character though, and this is a movie with wit, verisimilitude, and even a bit of visual agility. The protagonist--Marlo, a Diablo Cody name if there ever was one--has a special needs son, and I appreciated the honest way that Marlo's frustration with him sometimes outweighed her understanding.
49. Fahrenheit 11/9 (Michael Moore)- Fahrenheit 11/9 is diffuse, but it's effective enough to be in the top half of Moore's work. He stays out of it mostly (besides that familiar narration, as gentle as it is ashamed), but his heart is clearly in the searing Flint section. In fact, I wish he had made a documentary that focused only on that American travesty, not all of them.
He has the same challenge that many of us do--pointing out the crimes and perversions of Trump while keeping the high ground--and he doesn't always avoid the low-hanging fruit. Dubbing Trump's voice over Hitler's is the type of shit that people hate him for. At most turns, however, Moore's choices make sense. A long diversion into the Parkland kids, even though I find them kind of tiring personally, serves as an inspirational peak to the valley of any people of a generation or two earlier than them.
48. Isle of Dogs (Wes Anderson)- Many Wes Anderson movies are flippant about death and disease. When the effect works, it's refreshing and disorienting. When it doesn't, like in this movie, it feels cold, as if he's moving dolls around in a playhouse.
But in every other way, the sweet and wry Isle of Dogs benefits as a manicured chamber piece. The details are obvious (the tactile fur on all of the dog puppets), less obvious (a translation provides the legend "very sad funeral" to accompany a news story), and even less obvious (more than one joke about how many syllables should be in a haiku). If the narrative--jaded stray finds redemption through guileless child--doesn't offer much in the way of re-invention for the director, then I'm glad the large canvas does.
47. You Were Never Really Here (Lynne Ramsey)- I wanted an artsy crime film, and I got an artsy crime film. I have no idea if I liked it. It's bleak and groady, more of a violence movie than an action movie, concerned with the cycle of abuse and the oily spread of vengeance. It begins twenty minutes after most films of its type might choose to, and it begins in earnest at the hour mark. The atonal Jonny Greenwood score is a perfect approximation of whatever kind of dark clouds are floating in the protagonist's head.
Even when it doesn't work, the film is a reminder that Lynne Ramsey is a real artist. Although this doesn't come close to the catharsis and real-world relevance of We Need to Talk About Kevin, it reveals a focused point of view. Whether it's depicting a sequence through only surveillance footage or cutting to a half-second of flashback, she includes exactly what she wants to.
46. The Commuter (Jaume Collet-Sera)- I gave Non-Stop two-and-a-half stars, and this is a much more elegant version of Non-Stop. Even though it succumbs to gross CGI and outsized conspiracy, the class-conscious table setting is non-pareil, and it lets Neeson act his age.
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45. Vice (Adam McKay)- Vice is a difficult film to evaluate because its greatest strength, the resolute, partisan, experimental point of view, is also its greatest weakness, the hand-holding, pedantic, antic point of view. There are moments in this film--the menu scene, the fake-ending--that are more inventive than anything else this year. And credit to McKay for a sui generis structure that covers thirty years in the first hour and two years in the second hour; if nothing else, he has the talent to make unitary executive theory fun.
It's a big, angry, auteurist, '70s swing, so it also takes a lot of chances that don't work and, quite obviously, it wields poetic license in the way that Ron Burgundy swished around a glass of scotch. Sometimes it doesn't know when to trust the viewer, like when it freeze frames and flashes "George H.W. Bush, President, 1989-1993" over a Bush-looking guy talking about "Barbara and I" as his son misbehaves in the background. Through no fault of McKay's, the story feels anti-climactic as well. Although I felt more distance than I expected from events that I consider recent history, the dominoes are still falling in the world that Cheney shaped.
One thing that is less debatable is Christian Bale's transformation into Cheney. That word "transformation" is used any time a famous person wears a wig. This performance, which spans decades and is not directly related to any of Bale's other work, is different. The portrait of Cheney is one of monolithic evil, which Bale suggests, but it's also grounded in reticent, clenched jaw micro-movements. Cheney, who is four inches shorter than Bale, seems like the smallest and biggest man in any room. At this point, if you told me Bale was playing Grendel, I wouldn't bat an eye. In fact, his Grendel might look a lot like Dick Cheney.
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