#and a different one is like 'yeah weve seen worse'

[thedragonemperess]

Sometimes my online life and my real life intersect and it's always in the wildest ways possible

#MY IRLS ARE READING SMUTFIC THAT IVE WRITTEN AND SENDING ME VIDEO REACTIONS #IVE WRITTEN SMUTFIC TWICE #ONCELER/READER SMUTFIC THAT I WROTE FOR A MUTUAL #(ONE OF THEM C R I E D) #AND HUMANIZED PIXAR CARS FANFICTION THAT I WROTE FOR MY EXBOYFRIEND #IN WHICH CHICK HICKS GETS FUCKED BY TEX DINOCO LYNDA WEATHERS AND STRIP WEATHERS IN THAT ORDER AND THEN LATER IMPLIED ALL AT ONCE #(THE SAME ONE THAT CRIED IS GOING ON ABOUT HOW GOOD MY DIALOGUE IS AND IS LITERALLY GIGGLING WHAT IS HAPPENING) #and then of course some of them have been through this before because theyve actually read the onceler smut before this is them rereading i #because the original video i have of it came up in my snapchat memories #but were talking about it in a GROUPCHAT #and there are OTHER FRIENDS IN THIS GROUPCHAT #so the OTHER FRIENDS are sitting here like 'i didnt know you had this in you tony this just never seemed like you' #so im like 'is this how i got disowned from the friendgroup? on the basis of cringefail pornographic fanfiction ive written?' #and one of them goes 'as if wed disown you im more cringe than you are' #and a different one is like 'yeah weve seen worse' #it is a SUNDAY NIGHT #marankton speaks because why not #anyway

[mbat]

!! these were made using bases !! the bases will be linked below the cut!!

the cut is so the post isnt too long to scroll past, but also i will be talking about the au in it!!

decided to draw my own take on adult flurry heart, mostly so i could draw my own take on opaline in the au where opaline is like a nightmare moon of flurry heart. if youre wondering who the third pony is, its chrysalis' disguise for the au, named gentle heart.

flurry hearts base:

opalines bases (one for the body, the other was only for one of the wings):

gentle heart/chrysalis' base:

i had to use bases because ive been in such a weird art block lately, i just couldnt draw bodies right, but i was having this idea and i just had to get it out of me lol. i drew everything else just fine, idk why i couldnt draw bodies. shout out to elementbases on deviantart for having a lot of good mlp bases! and organized into categories no less!

btw for reference for adult flurry heart i mainly used images of her only adult appearance which was in some mobile game ?? i never played it but its real and its the only time we see her as an adult, though i dont think we get any details about her aside from how she looks. i just wanted to say that cause idk how many people know about it.

also yes her cutie mark is different between versions of her

so this is an au ive been tossing around for a while, especially since it started out as a half-theory i had about g5 before it truly did set in that they were just fucking up the entire thing (no hate to g5 or anyone who likes it but im personally just. disappointed), namely when they were like 'oh yeah opaline is just some alicorn that celestia and luna knew as kids and when they didnt want to play with her she held onto that for thousands of years and became evil over it'

also apparently the reason equestria is separated is because she just. idk whispered mean things in everyones ears? idk man i dont read the mlp comics, i plan to read g4s comics but not g5s. i didnt even know g5 had comics until i looked up why the pony kinds were separate.

anyway the idea was a theory because before all that we had no idea who opaline was, why there was some random alicorn, i mean, weve seen so few throughout g4! she was so mysterious for that, and i feel like the most popular idea was that she was flurry heart, since that was one of the few alicorns we knew of, and flurry is such a blank slate, especially since we dont technically ever see her adult form (with one exception)

i still personally think they shouldve gone that route but i know now that they wouldnt have, they probably wouldnt have wanted to give one of their previous characters, especially one like flurry, any bad traits or make her a villain, even though it would be such a cool idea. not to mention, they couldve redeemed her? idk man. worse villains have been redeemed lol

on to my au though. i wanted to keep it feeling like it couldve been canon but also stretching it just a little bit to make maybe more sense and also be more my creation, yknow?

we see at the end of g4 that chrysalis is trapped in stone alongside the other two villains she was working with, but we also know that these stone prisons can still be escaped, as we saw in discords introduction. my idea is that the stone is kept locked up, but unattended to, and she escapes, though her fellow villains dont. the specific details will be saved for if i go more in depth on all of this somewhere else lol

she develops a plan, that being to disguise herself as a normal pony, and to become staff at the crystal empire castle. that disguise is gentle heart, a name she literally made up because she was mocking the 'stupid' (from her perspective) names that ponies have, and she just kept it. while she works at the castle, she gets close to a young flurry heart.

she acts very extremely sickeningly nice and sweet in this disguise, but theres an uncanniness to it, a disingenuine undertone that is only noticeable when youre looking for it, really. flurry heart comes to love and trust her as a friend, and gentle heart isnt seen as suspicious to really anyone in the castle. people still think chrysalis is trapped in stone, after all.

her next step in the plan, however, is that when no one else is around, she shapeshifts herself into cadence or shining armor, and acts like a horrible parent to flurry heart. this creates a deep disconnect for flurry, as one moment her parents are the best ever, and the next they arent. if flurry tries to bring this up to them, they have no idea what shes talking about.

flurry begins to confide in gentle heart about this, and gentle heart begins to plant the idea in flurrys head that she should run away, and that gentle could run away with her. after a while of this, flurry finally decides to do this.

they run far, far away together, flurry being a child/young teenager, and they hide where no one else really goes, far from towns and pretty much any ponies. (this location hasnt been chosen yet but its not the mooost relevant? the basic point is that theyre hidden away) and they set up a home here.

soon in, gentle heart makes a decision. she shows her true form to flurry heart, a flurry heart who was never taught about how changelings used to be before their reformation, as her parents thought it was a conversation for when she was older. they didnt want her to feel paranoid, or scared. the changelings she knows are bright, and covered in generally round shapes. theyre not like the jagged and dark chrysalis.

gentle heart tells flurry that she was cursed. that her pony form is her true form, but she was cursed by the princesses to be in this form. being in her pony form drains her of energy, her changeling form recharges that energy. really, its just her excuse to not need to be in that pony form anymore. she tells flurry that she was cursed falsely, accused of a crime she did not commit. that she was made to work at the crystal castle so an eye could be kept on her. she asks to be called chrysalis, as being called gentle heart in this form feels wrong.

chrysalis right now is the only person in the world that flurry heart trusts, so she accepts this as truth.

as flurry heart grows up, chrysalis begins to plant ideas in her head that the other ponies are awful and horrible, just like her parents seemingly were. that flurry heart is better than all of them because shes not horrible, and on top of that, shes a natural alicorn. there hasnt been a natural born alicorn in thousands of years before her. flurry heart begins to believe all of this too. she doesnt have anyone or anything else to tell or show her otherwise.

these dark beliefs warp her appearance overtime, making her go from her parents daughter, into what we know as opaline, akin to princess luna turning into nightmare moon. she becomes annoyed with, averse to her cutesy name she was given by her family, and adopts the name opaline, both because of her crystal cutie mark, and because part of her still thinks of the crystal empire as her home, though now more like its hers to own someday.

speaking of, into her adulthood, opaline and chrysalis form a plan. a plan to take over equestria. the idea of being the ruler of all of pony kind was a natural conclusion that chrysalis wanted opaline to make, and so she did. their first step was to invade the crystal castle and take it over.

chrysalis tells her that cadence was never a fighter, so she shouldnt be an issue, but shining armor would be. if both chrysalis and opaline combined their power, they would easily overpower him and anyone else daring to fight them. the thing is... this works.

for a few reasons, actually. people were shocked at the return of chrysalis, and on top of that, despite her warped appearance, opaline was recognized as flurry heart. there isnt exactly many alicorns, and especially none that look similar to her. there was a fight put up, but not at full power. no one wanted to hurt the lost princess.

she takes over the empire, trapping any who oppose her, especially her parents. she doesnt even give them the option to talk to her. she plunges the empire back in dark days, not in the way that sombra did entirely, but still. shes strict on her subjects, and begins to make them like a military, planning to use them to invade canterlot. anyone who would dare come to attack the empire would be held off.

after she knows her subjects are loyal (terrified), and properly molded into an army, she storms canterlot, chrysalis by her side. its a hard fight, but they do it. they trap the other princesses, and they take over.

opalines first rule of business is to make the crystal empire the new capital, the new seat of power. for a while, this is the most drastic thing she does, otherwise going slow with her horrid ideas and changes.

the worse comes when shes already caused distrust and discomfort among ponykind, pitting ponies against eachother. she begins to decree that ponykind must be separated by type, designating towns to each, forcing ponies apart by law. she made sure it was enforced. she didnt need ponies coming together to rise against her, so she forced them apart. the damage is done.

this of course doesnt last forever. twilight is free and gathers the elements, and they take opaline by surprise, ending her reign. they empty the empire and trap her alone in her castle. thing is, she also trapped them in a limbo-like state, along with the other princesses (and her father), as they had also tried to join the fight. and a final blow to her, chrysalis got caught in crossfire, and was seemingly killed. no one intended it, but it happened. opaline is devastated.

and now, shes stuck. trapped alone in a castle in the middle of a city. she has the whole city alone to herself, and all she has now is the items left behind by her people, and mostly books. she only ever sees them as fiction or propaganda though, refusing to take them to heart and accept them as truth. alongside reading and re-reading the books around the city, she schemes of a way out. she is not very successful in this for a long time.

the closest she gets to getting out is when she opens the barrier just long enough to see, and kidnap, a young unicorn. a one misty brightdawn. she forces misty to be her only companion in a long time, and raises her like a daughter, but not lovingly.

some stuff continues on similar to canon, like misty befriending the mane 5 and leaving opaline behind, but i wont say more because i can keep some secrets for myself :] i do have an ending to her story planned though!

also pls ignore timeline and other canon contradictions pls pls pls pls pls lol

#my post #mlp #my little pony #flurry heart #opaline arcana #queen chrysalis #my art #in which i talk waaaaay too much LOL no one needs to read that i was just having a time ok <3

[aroaceacacia]

re: anon (ur 100% correct btw) I saw a twt thread that was very well intentioned but seemed to misidentify the ppl involved as dsmp fans. they failed to realize the call was coming from inside the house, as it were.

hermitcraft fans, can we please stop blaming fandom strife on dsmp enjoyers coming into the fandom? i can almost guarantee 9 times out of 10 that the dsmp mains are not starting these fandom discourses among hermitcraft mains. dsmp fandom has seen and handled canon & jokes that are worse than scitties or shipping or w/e. all of the problems that weve had in the hermitcraft fandom have been started by hermitcraft fans, especially longtime ones (and occasionally, former hermitcraft fans who refuse to leave the past in the past and move on).

the main pillar of the divison between hermitcraft fans comes in the form of a question: "how fictional is hermitcraft?" fans who answer "it's not fictional at all" are more likely to say "hermitshipping is wrong because they're real people", and fans who answer "its mostly or completely fictional" are more likely to say "hermitshipping is fine because they're playing characters". this question - one of fictionality - is one that dream dreamwastaken literally answered himself in 2020 when he introduced the "/rp" tone tag, meant to indicate discussion of roleplayed, fictional events; this later evolved into the creation of the "c!" modifier, mean to indicate characters specifically (ie. c!dream, cdream, character!dream).

dream smp fans have their own answer to this discourse, and yeah while they may handle hermitcraft differently, they've been separating creator and story for almost two years now. its hermitcraft mains who cant let go of past fights, its hermitcraft mains who cant catch up to the dsmp fans or even the yogscast fans in terms of these discussions

in conclusion.

#bearvocalizations #discourse

[finn-shitposts]

Oki so!! Bonus question, how are things different to the first time I watched it?

I do remember a lot of it. I wouldn't have been able to describe what happened in any of the episodes, but as im watching, i recognise each episode and remember what happened. Like Maddison being a werewolf, recognising who the trickster is(!!!!) and knowing who Ruby is, etc. I think this time around, I'm seeing a lot more of the subtext than the first time. So, seeing how sam fits into his storyline from the beginning and how you start to see the effect of certain choices unfolding. I'm also having fun and seeing it in the tumblrfied* way of like "what if they were trans, how does that effect their brotherhood/relationship to eachother with Dean calling him "Sammy" and Dean having to both fit the older brother AND motherly role (and of course the huge overcompensation of masculinity). Its also fun seeing how they mirror each other quite a lot. Like if it were possible, i definitely think they'd be stuck in a loop of selling their souls for each other. Obviously, the whole premise of the show is how far they'll go to save each other, though. Uhh okay I wrote a lot more than I thought I would and I hope this all makes sense???

*i say this to mean the version of the show I've understood from seeing people talk about it on here and their ideas and thoughts and headcanons

Yeah no yeah i get what you mean with tumblrified supernatural sksjsk but like FR when you look at it in the context of them being queer in different ways it changes the meaning of so mamy scenes!!

And yeah theyre fucked up and codependent theyre a goddamn mess and it just keeps getting worse as the show goes on T.T every time they have one of those heartfelt emotional scenes of "dont die for me again" and you KNOW theyre gonna do some shit to break that promise 2 episodes later. It just gets exponentionally funnier the more it happens

And eheheheeh im excited for when you get to scenes/seasons that you havent seen yet! how many of them have been randomly spoiled by tumblr i wonder,,,, how many do you THINK have been spoiled but then youll get to the episode and realise weve all just been delusionally posting about popular headcanons as if they were actual plot too lol

#fef65b felix #ask #treasured mutual <3 #finn.txt #leah visits superhell #<- thats gonna be your spn ask tag lol

[spohkh]

Hi hello!!! Will you please tell me some of your ofmd headcanons??

hello hi!!! here are some thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain :-)

stede helps brush out ed's hair ONCE (one (1) time) and after that ed's like oh okay this is going to be your job forever now ❤️ so every night stede will brush it out and braid it for him. VERY important part of their nightly routine that also soothes ed into sleep :-)

VERY obsessed w the idea of stede being like. im a pirate. i NEED a tattoo. the convo i imagine is like theyre just lying in bed and stedes looking at eds tattoos and is like hmmm... i think i should get one. and eds like. holy shit absolutely. but of what? stede: maybe the flag of the revenge? ed: LOL which one we have like 5. stede: all of them! why not!! right down my arm! ed: stede i admire your ambition but maybe start small. anyway i think itd be cute for ed to give stede like a small stick-and-point star or something on his hand and then eventually they will get matching lighthouse tattoos thanks ❤️

weve already seen that stedward are CANONICALLY that annoying ass lovey-dovey couple and i KNOW once theyre actually together its going to be a ZILLION times worse and the crew of the revenge is going to be like voluntarily walking the plank just to get away. its not even necessarily PDA its just this like aura of Devoted Love they give off that has a 5-mile radius its insane. lucius and pete are like we openly make out in front of people but somehow yall are even more annoying. fish in the sea are like bro. the thought i keep having is of stede holding a meeting and at the end hes like ok any questions? and ed goes yeah ive got a few questions and the crew collectively groans and is like alright meetings officially over see ya. and stedes like what??? no its not!! lucius: every single time ed has a "question" at the end of our meetings that he needs to "ask in private" and then we dont see you guys for like an hour he just means he wants to make out. we know bc you guys are NOT quiet. and it happens LITERALLY every time. stede: thats not true! that. well. it doesnt happen EVERY time. does it? (looks at ed) ed: no yeah it does sorry but you being all captainy really gets me going. stede: oh! ed: yeah ok so lets go. and stedes like well cant argue w that

stede almost immediately starts using my love and darling and sometimes sweetheart at ed which makes ed absolutely high-five angels every time hes like ME??? ...ME... and conversely while i think ed may OCCASIONALLY call stede like, babe, or even love, i dont think any word will compare to just saying stede's name for him. but also he DOES keep calling stede mate, which he canonically uses a ridiculous amount and absolutely means it in a "dude (romantic)" way

on marriage: i really really love the idea of them exchanging rings in a literal sense, as in stede giving ed his turquoise ring and ed giving stede one of his ruby rings. i also have a different thought abt what they might do instead of a ring exchange but i shant say here bc im writing it into a fic :-) i also like the idea of them being like. ok we're husbands. like fuck a "proper ceremony" or whatever they just decide it and its law and then they throw a shipwide party after that the end

ok let me stop here but these are the main thoughts haunting my brain recently! :^)

#sowecanbepirates #ask #stedward #ofmd

[elriel-oblivion]

Okay here's the thing.. I respect everyone's opinions and they can ship whoever they want but like... For Elucien and Gwynriel... I literally cannot even see how. I would gladly ship them if someone gave me a valid reason. Elain avoids talking or even being in the same room as Lucien, and Azriel had one polite conversation with Gwyn. Az is just nice to her. As nice as he would be to any female. Elriel has foreshadowing & chemistry- The roses painted on her drawer and the rose necklace...👀

Strongly agree with all of this!! My main problem with anything that's not elriel is that a lot of anti-elriel shippers completely ignore or erase Elain. With these ships, it's always what benefits Elain does or doesn't bring. It's so misogynistic, people just ignore everything she's mentioned about her own heart and how she doesn't want a mate or the bond, she doesn't care for it, but oh Lucien's had such a hard life, he deserves his mate!!!!!

😒😒😒

Surely he deserves someone who wants him as much as he wants them, no?

Non-elriel-endgame with the canon we currently have would mean Elain's choices are stripped once again since she'd have to give up/lose the love she actually wants in favour of one she doesn't want that's attached to some cultural concept that means zilch to her and her human heart. I mean, sure sjm could spin it so Elain catches feelings for Lucien and they end up happily mated. But then what is the point of having Elain constantly avoid him for three books? That's not even setting up for a good relationship bc every time they interact/meet, the communication just gets worse.

While I can honestly see the potential of gwynriel bc platonic interactions can later become romantic, I still don't ship it bc it doesn't feel right the way elriel does to me. I can def see gwynriel becoming a strong healthy friendship, but if it's endgame then Elain ends up with Lucien, whom she visibly shrinks from and has been avoiding since acowar. She doesn't feel seen by him at all - as much as I love Lucien and truly do want him to have his own HEA, we can't deny that he's really just pursuing (I use pursuing in the loosest way since he's very respectful about it 😅) Elain bc of the bond. If we take that away, there's nothing between them imo and he probably wouldn't give Elain more than a passing glance for her beauty and that's it bc she's not the type of girl he's into.

But people don't wanna think about how that makes Elain feel. This girl who previously felt seen by only one person - who then rejected her bc of that bond itself - and craves someone to see who she truly is, is being courted by someone who doesn't actually like her for her, but just the idea of what a relationship with her would entail. He's only trying bc of some divine belief she doesn't share. That must suck like hell. It's almost objectfying, the bond. And again, I don't blame Lucien at all, not even for trying bc it is something that's important to him and his culture, but it's not a mutual thing. If it were important to Elain too and she just wasn't cooperating bc of some stupid shallow reason, then I'd be angry at her. But that's not the case at all.

But with Azriel, the first person to see her since Graysen, there's so much potential for growth - for both of them. They make each other feel seen. And for all that antis say neither has grown in the time they've known each other, how did Az pluck up the courage to almost kiss Elain after having not done anything with Mor for five centuries? How did Elain initiate that kiss - ie have the courage to follow her heart again after having it torn and shredded by Graysen? And anyway, weve never seen into Elain's head so we don't know what she feels has changed within her; we can only detect subtle changes from other povs, but there might be some huge changes in her learnt from Azriel, maybe about her outlook on life/strength, that she's just keeping hidden for the time (or that no one has bothered to see bc Elain is invisible 😭). Same with Azriel. One little chapter isn't gonna tell us everything he's been thinking the past two years.

But either way, we know now that they both have feelings for each other. Why is a mutual healthy relationship shut down so quickly, one where both partners' choices are taken heed of? If Elain had said no in that moment, Azriel would've stepped back instantly, no questions asked. He probably would've have some huge internal conflict about his own self worth but he wouldn't have gone further without Elain's consent. He's already shown he respects her, he said they've been sharing looks and touches, and these are things fandom eat up, so I don't understand why it's suddenly wrong or unwanted just bc Elain makes up half the ship.

And there's so much foreshadowing/symbolism that antis seem oblivious to, which, fair enough, interpret the text how you want. But even if somebody doesn't see the spark or blooming feelings between the pair throughout the books (how do they explain away all the stiffness whenever one of them is mentioned or is in the same room or something though? Genuinely curious here), there's a lot of plot foreshadowing. The Blood Duel has now been mentioned twice, as has the idea of breaking the bond, maybe more. There's the issue with Koschei and Elain not being able to see things related to him past mist and shadow. There's all this potential conflict that could arise between the Courts if elriel pursue their love, and conflict is the driving force of any novel.

If gwynriel were an IRL couple, I wouldn't care if there were never any conflict, but if I'm reading their story, I want more than just them falling in love and having internal conflict about whether they should kiss the other or not. Especially if the backdrop is a fantasy world on the brink of war with many players. I saw a gwynriel post mentioning Merrill once and while I do think she has the potential to be a running antagonist, I don't see her as anything but a subplot/crony for/associate with another stronger villain. I don't think she could carry a whole novel at the moment. So Gwyn is tied to nothing in the overarching plot. Same with Az. Not to mention all the theories about the Koschei/Swan Lake/firebird folklore that is potentially inspiring this new series in the acotar world. Of course, this could all change as we get more info about the next book/s and all, but compared to elriel certainly, I don't think there's as much conflict with gwynriel.

Ultimately, I don't claim knowledge of the next books' content, so I don't really care what people ship, but the main thing I take issue with is how they treat Elain in the midst. A lot of gwynriel arguments I've seen portray certain acts in a romantic/positive light for Gwyn but either completely ignore or erase any semblance of romance for Elain or tear her down. Like, we shouldn't push the narrative that Gwyn as an SA survivor can't have healthy meaningful sex in the future (yeah, of course I agree), yet some of the same people who say that are also people who judge and make fun of Elain and call her too vanilla for Az without having a clue what her bedroom habits/preferences are 🤯 This is just one of many. There are so many double standards I've seen for gwynriel against elriel and I'm just tired of it. And even if they're not doing any of that, they simply hate Elain and don't want her to be with Az and so ship gwynriel as the next best alternative. Like, can they not push down Elain in favour of Gwyn, please? That's so misogynistic 🤮

For all that this fandom flaunts the series being feminist with strong female characters, they sure do a good job in tearing down females who don't fit their definition of strong, despite even Feyre stating and acknowledging multiple times that Elain has a different kind of strength 😒

Gahhhhhhh. *exhales deeeeeeeeply* Sorry this is so damn LONG!! 😅😅😅😅😅 I did not expect to write a whole bloody essay lol but I hope it was fun/comforting to read at least 😅😆 I know I fall back on elriel posts when the ship war gets too intense bc I actually enjoy shipping elriel. They've become my otp, and I absolutely adore both characters of the ship; I think most of us elriels do. I haven't really seen any elriel stans who dislike/don't care for Elain and her welfare so it's nice being in this corner of the fandom where we can appreciate both Az and Elain equally. And of course, the other characters with their due respect. I truly do want Lucien to finally get his good life, but I don't think that's with Elain 😕

#elain archeron #elriel #azriel acotar #elain x azriel #Acotar #Acosf spoilers

[everybodyelseisrobots]

Sex and Longing

                                                          XVIII

Road Trip Location: New Orleans

Day 8 and I’m hanging off a balcony in New Orleans doing chin-ups.  Push-ups.  Squats.  Just trying to get the blood moving.

She’s off a long walk somewhere.   We haven’t been happy for days.  Just trapped in a car together, viciously unhappy.

I remember this feeling.  

18 years old standing in a sonic parking lot with a girl that hates your guts.   That distant, icey, disposition like they’re grinding their teeth and wishing you would disappear from the Earth.  

Or worse.  27 when you realize a girl is just playing with you.  That she’s found power over you and watching you dance.  

So yeah.  New Orleans.  We’ve finally had one decent night together.  Not great, but we’re at least not miserable and maybe that’s something to build on.

She goes for a walk and I’m doing push-ups in the Airbnb while trying to put together a plan.

I feel strained.  Self conscious.  I’m desperate to keep the good vibes going and not let slip this little bit of peace we’ve found and so I’m filing through ideas.

Maybe we’ll extend the road trip.  Maybe we’ll go to the beach.  Maybe we’ll splurge on expensive dinners and an Airbnb with a hot tub to help make this right.  Weve already burned some real money but maybe it would be worth it if would help us reboot and get through these fights.  

My thoughts are spinning up and all at once I connect the dots.  

I pause.  Open the mental box. Scheodingers cat is dead.  Undeniably dead.

It doesn’t matter that we’ve had one decent night and we’re playing nice.

This thing is dead and it’s not coming back.  

Everything about this interaction is wrong.  

I know what fun feels like.

I know what attraction feels like.  

That warm, bouncy, pliable feeing of a girl who is happy with you and wants you to take her home and fuck her against a wall.

I know what that feels like and I’ve never seen it come back once it disappears.

This ain’t it.  

We might survive today.

We might survive a week.  

But I’ve lost the frame.  Her mood is now in control of both of us, and we’re not going to live that way.

This relationship isn’t going to work.  So what do we do?

Bail out.  Cut our loses?

You can’t restart a relationship.

Maybe it would be possible to have a different relationship with the same person.  But to do that, we’re going to have to burn this one down and start again.  

I’m going to burn it down and plant something new.

Somewhere deep inside, the ancestors murmur a seismic appproval.  

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hey

Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in

Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?

Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it

Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself

Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes

Joe: I see that

Joe: your accent down the 📞?

Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour

Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way

Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands

Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing

Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones

Joe: i’ll keep that in mind

Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie

Joe: not actual escorting

Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model

Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that

Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one

Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already

Joe: I just did

Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌

Ronnie: sexist not to ask me

Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf

Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie

Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well

Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you

Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me

Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure

Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole

Joe: cheers

Joe: take 20% commission or whatever

Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this

Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig

Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of

Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah

Joe: you wanna do it?

Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention

Joe: not what it is so no

Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you

Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me

Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it

Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so

Joe: she’d be really let down

Ronnie: usually what gets you off

Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like

Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special

Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best

Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower

Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔

Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about

Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her

Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright

Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right

Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have

Ronnie: i dont dream 💔

Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you

Joe: or anyone, really

Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping

Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake

Ronnie: what you cant read me

Joe: clearly not

Joe: dashed your modelling dreams

Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you

Joe: is that sympathy?

Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time

Ronnie: again you wish

Ronnie: 💭💉

Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz

Joe: maybe I do

Joe: far as 💭s go

Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont

Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her

Joe: not tried it

Joe: but not a no

Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her

Joe: that is a no, tah

Ronnie: tell her not me baby

Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?

Joe: gutted

Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us

Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then

Joe: make a change for me

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up

Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam

Ronnie: not oi ing you

Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair

Ronnie: life aint soft lad

Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you

Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there

Joe: purely here for the homophobia

Ronnie: your kinks match 💘

Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks

Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘

Joe: the sisterly thing

Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth

Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt

Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira

Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers

Joe: lucky girl

Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you

Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you

Joe: i fit less than you, by far

Ronnie: fuck off

Joe: sorry

Joe: it’s weird, say the least

Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont

Joe: ditto

Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though

Ronnie: no

Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common

Joe: just the same mother

Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times

Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word

Joe: incubator then

Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down

Joe: worse if she did, the state of

Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you

Ronnie: were not the fucking same

Joe: you reckon

Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it

Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?

Joe: woah, just say you love me

Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us

Joe: hot

Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty

Joe: uni ain’t that interesting

Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round

Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna

Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done

Joe: nah

Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative

Ronnie: i dont want a narrative

Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker

Ronnie: in your dreams

Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual

Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like

Joe: Static is my kink

Joe: you know me so well

Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do

Joe: i’m a gentleman

Joe: and i’m taking that review

Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are

Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand

Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class

Joe: let’s do something

Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit

Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get

Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you

Joe: thank god

Joe: so take the risk

Ronnie: of what

Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you

Joe: that’s surely a given

Joe: risk anything but

Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her

Joe: christian grey or superman, like

Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell

Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that

Joe: touche

Joe: come on, what would convince you

Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it

Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see

Ronnie: then the answers nothing

Joe: nah

Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed

Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things

Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then

Joe: the opposite of that

Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah

Joe: nah, I am

Ronnie: like fuck will you

Joe: see, you want to be disappointed

Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it

Joe: if you don’t come and see

Ronnie: come where

Joe: see me

Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go

Joe: fuck sightseeing

Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]

Ronnie: go there

Joe: now?

Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go

Joe: okay

Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t

Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates

Joe: when you’re done being disappointed

Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not

Joe: you’ll see

Joe: I can’t show you over the phone

Ronnie: you could

Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager

Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either

Joe: pictures not doing no favours

Joe: if you’re there and i’m there

Ronnie: big if

Joe: I never know where to be

Ronnie: newborn i heard you

Joe: something like that

Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺

Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour

Joe: true

Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though

Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead

Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size

Joe: she’s a big girl

Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy

Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said

Ronnie: fuck all going for her

Joe: way to get in shape

Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls

Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue

Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her

Ronnie: 🐎

Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath

Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived

Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit

Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad

Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so

Joe: hold on

Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy

Joe: ugh, I wish

Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it

Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out

Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind

Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother

Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right

Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?

Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session

Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like

Joe: dangerously close to sharing there

Joe: you got your 💉 already then?

Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had

Ronnie: unlucky you

Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you

Joe: so I’ll cope

Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up

Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah

Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like

Joe: 💔

Joe: validations the last thing i need

Joe: had a whole lifetime

Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need

Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans

Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either

Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it

Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do

Joe: attention seekers anonymous

Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸

Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs

Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway

Ronnie: does it fuck

Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass

Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit

Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit

Joe: it’s not that

Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be

Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck

Ronnie: dont give em the choice

Joe: why?

Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to

Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre

Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try

Ronnie: then dont

Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail

Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep

Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞

Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever

Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common

Joe: just 50% of our DNA

Joe: never said we were twinsies

Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run

Joe: I wish

Joe: has your face healed

Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that

Joe: 😏

Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need

Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend

Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue

Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here

Joe: spoilsport

Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy

Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny

Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking

Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright

Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there

Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas

Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow

Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit

Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story

Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy

Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off

Ronnie: if we re telling stories

Joe: 😂

Joe: where we keep the horse

Joe: that en-suite is massive

Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash

Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked

Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me

Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah

Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with

Ronnie: youre welcome like

Joe: gotta stop being nice to me

Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch

Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕

Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do

Joe: obviously you’re that type

Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍

Joe: you’re inspiring, like

Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite

Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere

Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out

Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆

Joe: have a go at pushing it back in

Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism

Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off

Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]

Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]

Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite

Joe: 🚫🐍

Ronnie: gutted

Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever

Joe: I’ll take you back

Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as

Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help

Joe: you know I meant to Dublin

Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: I said if you want

Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want

Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials

Joe: you’d need directions

Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent

Joe: can’t say it’s your loss

Ronnie: shut up about it then

Joe: 🤐

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it

Ronnie: sizeist

Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine

Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment

Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe

Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it

Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain

Joe: go on, for your lols

Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch

Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too

Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be

Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too

Joe: if you’re lucky

Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔

Joe: damnit

Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?

Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for

Ronnie: noted

Joe: only the good ones

Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads

Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st

Joe: where were you

Joe: wonder how close it was

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending

Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane

Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah

Ronnie: you didnt say when

Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]

Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces

Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood

Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut

Joe: awh

Joe: message him 🧓🏼

Ronnie: fuck off calling me old

Joe: 😏

Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on

Joe: what mess have you made

Ronnie: havent killed myself yet

Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing

Joe: possibilities are endless still

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: come out

Joe: we can get new ink to dig out

Joe: whatever

Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time

Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way

Ronnie: flashy cunt

Joe: what being a student is all about

Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do

Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺

Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand

Joe: I could

Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby

Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?

Ronnie: nah not that ive heard

Joe: come on

Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads

Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah

Joe: shit i mean

Ronnie: why

Joe: why wouldn’t I

Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it

Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know

Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not

Ronnie: like its nothing

Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago

Joe: then tell me to leave

Joe: like it’s that easy

Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear

Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair

Joe: I never had the choice

Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time

Joe: you’ve always been in my life

Ronnie: and youve never been in mine

Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it

Joe: Alright

Joe: do it then

Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do

Joe: I’m not going unless you say it

Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you

Joe: like fuck it is

Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at

Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is

Joe: lie better

Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like

Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now

Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back

Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending

Joe: I never said I was a good person

Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you

Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out

Joe: Piss off

Ronnie: lie better cunt

Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem

Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done

Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies

Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong

Joe: I like you

Joe: I want you, to get to know you

Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself

Joe: So make me

Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do

Ronnie: fucks sake

Joe: you ain’t saying anything

Joe: what do you want

Ronnie: I dont want you to like me

Ronnie: fuck is that

Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable

Joe: not going to tell no one am I

Ronnie: so hate me soft lad

Joe: I’ll give it a go

Ronnie: ill make you

Joe: give it a go then

Ronnie: where are you then

Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]

Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]

Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]

Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]

Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]

Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]

Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]

Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]

Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]

Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]

Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]

Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]

Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]

Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]

Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]

Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]

Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]

Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]

Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]

Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]

Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]

[seraph-novak]

Are you taking prompts for Tyrus? If so, could you do one where TJ helps Cyrus to rehearse for a play? thanks, have a lovely day.

All feedback is very much appreciated, but comments and reblogs really make all the difference. Thank you!

Also available on AO3 ♥

~~~~~

Cyrus is quickly losing his patience. On the opposite end of the Kippens’ couch, Amber is grinning down at her phone, a strand of golden hair twisted around her finger as she giggles at something on the screen – no doubt another text from her ‘mystery’ admirer. Cyrus simply sits there and waits, passively fiddling with the corner of his script as he waits for his friend to snap out of her crush-induced daze.

Without thinking, he lets his eyes drift to the corner of the room, settling on the older boy sitting quietly in a well-worn chair, his nose buried in a book. His hair is a shade darker than Amber’s, but his eyes are the same sea-foam green, with a touch of grey softening the bright hue. He’s never really spoken to Amber’s brother before, apart from a few pleasantries exchanged in passing, but there’s something about TJ Kippen that has always intrigued him…

Just then, the other boy lifts his head, as if sensing Cyrus’ curious eyes. A blush warms Cyrus’ cheeks as he quickly returns his attention to the script in his hands, but not quick enough to miss the hint of a smirk playing on TJ’s lips.

“Are you almost done?” he asks Amber, his words sounding sharper than intended. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees TJ go back to reading his book, and his shoulders slump in relief. “Sorry, I just… I’ve only got a few more days to rehearse, remember? The nerves are starting to kick in.”

Amber glances up from her phone, a sliver of guilt fracturing her lovesick smile. “Sorry, Cy. Just gimme a sec.”

It takes closer to a minute than a second for Amber to finally put her phone down, but Cyrus lets it slide. At least he now has a distraction from the indecipherable looks TJ keeps sneaking him, scorching his skin and quickening his heartbeat. 

As they return to the play, Cyrus can’t ignore the longing glances Amber keeps flicking at her phone. With every new text, her concentration wanes even more, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she visibly fights the urge to throw the script across the room and pick up her phone instead. She’s practically vibrating with the effort to focus, her face pinching tighter and tighter as the incoming texts start to slow down.  

“Amber,” Cyrus says, nudging her leg with his foot. “It’s your line.”

She tears her eyes away from the phone, now blessedly silent, and shakes her head. “Sorry… Where are we?”

“Page 14. Line 38.”

“Oh, right.” She slides a finger down the script, her brow furrowed as she searches for the right line. A few seconds later, she clears her throat and falls back into character. “Thomas,” she says, her voice slightly higher than usual. “I thought you’d never –”

“Nope,” Cyrus cuts her off. “Wrong line.”

“Are you sure?”

Cyrus smooths his face and lifts an eyebrow, his breath catching on the edge of a sigh. “Unless we skipped ahead to the final scene without me realising, I’m pretty sure it’s the wrong line.”

Across the room, TJ snorts, an amused smile nicking the corner of his mouth as he meets Cyrus’ eyes. For a brief moment, something warm and sweet blossoms in his chest, but it’s quickly cooled by the sudden ringing of Amber’s phone. He shoots a glare at his friend, silently warning her not to pick it up, but it’s no use.

“I’m so sorry,” Amber says, shrugging helplessly. “It’s Andi. I have to answer!” Before Cyrus can protest, she throws her script at TJ and picks up her phone, already halfway up the stairs. “Run lines with Cyrus until I’m back, okay?”

TJ frowns. “But –”

“Thank you!”

A flirtatious giggle floats down the stairs in her wake, followed by the sound of her bedroom door closing. Once she’s gone, an awkward silence settles over the room. Cyrus looks over at TJ, his stomach churning as the older boy studies the script now lying in his lap, and forces a smile.

“You don’t really have to run lines with me,” he says, twisting his hands together. “I’ll just wait until she’s back.”

TJ scoffs. “That could be a while.”

“Yeah.” He huffs a laugh, then sighs. “Maybe I should just go…”

“I thought you said you only had a few days to rehearse?”

“I do,” Cyrus says, his heart skipping at the notion of TJ paying attention to what he was saying. “But I can do that by myself. Or I’ll ask my mom to help.” He winces, realising too late how lame that must sound. “Or one of my many friends.”

TJ chuckles, and the sound sends a pleasant shiver down his spine, soothing the aching burn of his cheeks.

“Let me help.”

“I… You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

“But –”

“Scooch over,” TJ says, gently slapping Cyrus’ outstretched legs with his script as he sits down on the couch. When he’s comfortable, he licks his finger and flips through the pages. “Page 14, right?”

Cyrus swallows thickly. “Um… Yeah.”

“You’re Thomas?”

“Yeah.”

“So, I guess I’m… Alice?”

A nervous laugh bubbles in his chest. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“I don’t mind,” TJ insists.

“Are you sure?”

“100%.”

Cyrus hesitates, then breathes a sigh as he settles down and reopens his script. “Okay then… I’ll start from the top.” He coughs to clear his throat, flicking an anxious glance at TJ, and starts to read. “I think we need to talk, Alice.”

“About what?” TJ says, a feminine twinge to his voice.

Cyrus fights back a smile and keeps reading.

They run through the scene fluidly, only stopping to turn pages and share secret smiles over the tops of their scripts. As Thomas confesses his undying love for Alice, and the tone of the play takes a turn into sappy territory, Cyrus feels himself flushing darkly, his voice turning tight and raspy as the two characters begin tossing flirtatious comments at each other.

“Who wrote this play?” TJ asks on the cusp of a laugh, his own cheeks turning pink. “It’s very, uh…”

“Terrible?”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna say it that bluntly, but yeah.”

Cyrus snorts. “A few of the girls in my group are Jane Austen wannabes.”

“Yikes.”

“Yep.” Cyrus scratches the back of his head, the smile slowly dying on his lips as he skims through the upcoming pages of groan-worthy dialogue. “We can stop if you want.”

TJ snaps his head up. “What? No! It’s just starting to get juicy.”

“I thought you said it was terrible?”

“It is, but…”

Across the room, the discarded book lying on the chair TJ was previously sitting in catches his eye, and a teasing grin spreads across his face. There’s a cheesy stock photo of two women in old-fashioned dresses strolling through a park on the cover, with tiny umbrellas held above their bonneted heads.

“Oh,” he says, folding his arms with a quirk of an eyebrow. “I see… You’re a Jane Austen wannabe, too.”

TJ blushes. “It’s my mom’s!”

“Sure.”

“Shut up…”

“Hey, I’m not judging!”

When TJ sees him smirking, he breaks into a smile of his own, playfully kicking Cyrus in the shin as readjusts himself on the couch. “Let’s get back to it.”

“Eager, aren’t we?”

“Ha-ha.”

Cyrus wipes the grin off his face, despite the butterflies still fluttering in his stomach, and tries to focus on the poorly-written script in his hands. They dive back into flirty banter – Austen style – all the while stealing glances at each other, their lips twitching with barely supressed laughter. It’s only when the scene shifts from light to serious that Cyrus feels his palms beginning to sweat.

“You look beautiful in the moonlight,” he says, his voice trembling. Even though the words aren’t directed at TJ, he can still hear his heart pounding against his ribcage as he risks a glance at the other boy, trying to gauge his reaction. “You look beautiful in all lights, of course, but this is different.”

TJ licks his lips. “Different how?”

“Your hair shines,” Cyrus says, his voice a whisper. “Your eyes twinkle like starlight. Your skin glows.” He lifts his head, eyes drifting to TJ’s face once again. His gaze is fixed resolutely on his script, but Cyrus can see the blush creeping up his neck, the ripple of his throat as he swallows, the slight furrow between his brows, the silent murmur of his lips as he follows Cyrus’ lines on the page… “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”

TJ freezes, his mouth falling open, and Cyrus realises his mistake: that line isn’t in the script.

“I…” The words die in his throat. He gulps back his embarrassment and tries again, his face starting to burn. “I’m sorry, I just… I-I don’t know where that came from.”

“It’s okay –”

“I got a little carried away, you know?” Cyrus closes his script and gets to his feet, desperately searching for his bag beneath the coffee table. “I think I should go now. Thanks for helping me and everything… I really appreciate it.”

TJ reaches for his arm, but Cyrus shakes him off.

“I’m sorry for making things weird,” he says, tears of humiliation stinging the backs of his eyes. “I don’t know if Amber told you, but I’m gay. Not that you care.” He laughs, completely mortified. “Wow. I just came out to a guy I barely know. This is just getting better and better, isn’t it?”

When TJ reaches for him a second time, he doesn’t miss. His fingers are gentle, but his grip is firm, and he doesn’t take his eyes off Cyrus’ face as he slowly lowers him back onto the couch.

“Calm down,” he says, giving his arm a quick squeeze before letting go. A blinding smile breaks across his face when Cyrus finally meets his eyes. “If you think I’m mad at you for calling me gorgeous, then I must be worse at this than I thought.”

Cyrus frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been flirting with you for the past half an hour, you idiot.”

“What?”

“Okay… I guess I really am bad at this.”

Cyrus shakes his head, trying to steady his racing thoughts. “Are you saying you like me?”

“I have for a while,” TJ admits, shrugging bashfully. “I know we’ve never really talked, but… I’ve seen you around. And you hang out with my sister a lot.” He huffs, one side of his mouth lifting in a crooked smile. “Why do you think I always stay downstairs when you come over? I like being around you.”

“Oh,” Cyrus says, a touch breathless.   

The tension in TJ’s shoulders melts away as Cyrus returns a tentative smile of his own. For a moment, they just sit there, smiling shyly at each on the middle of the couch, their knees deliberately brushing against each other.

“So,” TJ says after a while, his fingers nervously drumming the cool leather between them. “I was thinking… Maybe we could –”

“I’m back!” Amber announces as she bounces down the stairs, her cheeks rosy from her conversation with Andi. When she notices TJ and Cyrus sitting so close, she stalls on the bottom step, her smile morphing into a scowl as she narrows her eyes.  “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing!” Cyrus squeaks, accidentally throwing his script in the air and hitting TJ on the head. He cringes, hiding his face in his hands, and splutters an apology. “Oh no! I’m so sorry, TJ! Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

TJ rubs the back of his head and chuckles. “I think I’ll live.”

“Maybe you should go upstairs now,” Amber says, glaring pointedly at her brother. “We have work to do.”

“Right.” TJ rolls his eyes and gets to his feet, shoving his script into Amber’s hands. He picks up his cheesy Victorian novel and heads towards the stairs, only stopping to cast a gentle smile over his shoulder at Cyrus. “Good luck with the play,” he says, ignoring the daggers Amber is shooting at the side of his head. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

Cyrus chews his lip and shrugs. “You could come, you know? The tickets are all sold out, but I could sneak you in.” He blushes, immediately doubting himself. “Only if you want to, of course. I mean, the script is pretty terrible, and I’m not exactly the greatest actor in the world, so you really don’t have to –”

“I’m there,” TJ cuts in with another smile, offering him a wink before turning around and disappearing up the stairs.

As soon as he’s gone, Amber throws herself onto the couch and punches Cyrus in the arm. “You’re not allowed to have a crush on my brother, okay? That goes against the rules of friendship!”

“You have way too many rules,” Cyrus says. “And, besides… You’ve been flirting with my best friend all afternoon, so I’d say we’re even.”

Amber opens her mouth to protest, then freezes, a groan escaping her lips. “Okay, that’s fair.”

“Thank you.”

“But you do admit you have a crush on him?”

Cyrus glances at the staircase, the frantic beating of his heart still echoing in his ears as a nervous grin tugs at his lips. “Yeah… I think I do.”

The End.

~~~~~

You can find the rest of my Tyrus fics on Tumblr or AO3! Thanks for reading ♥

#tyrus #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #andi mack #tyrus fics

[kittenn1011]

So I watched the new Live Action Kim Possible Disney Channel movie...

... and it was both worse and better than I thought it would be at the same time.

Warning: spoilers. For what it’s worth.

Pros:

- Some of the voices are on point. If I closed my eyes, Ron could really be Ron on occasion. I actually had to go check to see if Shego and Drakken might’ve been the voice actors actually, they were that close at times. It’s a bit inconsistent though, and tends to depend on how well each line was written. Special shoutout to Mr. Dr. Possible who had probably 10 lines and they were all exactly right. In the first five minutes, Dr. Dementor was really good too.

- Some lines are perfectly written. Special attention goes to a lot of Ron’s lines and moments in general: Unfortunately, a lot of these perfectly Kim-Possible lines are the sort of lines I didn’t find the strongest part of Kim Possible (Ron’s comic relief moments) but they made me smile nonetheless. Kim’s got a few great lines, too. 

- The opening. It’s a bit weird in live action, but the music is the original opening and they do minick some of the most distinctive memorable moments in it: Ron losing his pants, Ron stealing the pom-poms, Kim on the phone, Kim’s power pose... 

- The CGI establishing shots. The CGI is weird but the perfect replication of the Possible Home and the very close replication of Middleton High with ever-changing pun sign included was a nice touch. (”Procrastonator’s Club meeting postponed” haha 100% Middleton High there).

- I kind of enjoyed Kimmy and Nan and Mrs. Dr. Possible on a mission together, though the changes required to get there was a bit pointed making it predictable. 

- Meta jokes. They stand out a bit in the context of a live-action movie but Kim Possible has always had meta jokes so I see them as a pro. 

Cons:

- Another Mary-Sue synthodrone artificial lifeform sent by Drakken to destory KP’s KPness with the power of high school. Predictable from the first moment she stepped on screen, and even with a reason for it the Mary-Sueness was plain annoying. She even had a purple mission suit like Kim’s S4 mission suit wtf guys. I get the Mary-Sueness was the point but could you like not make a point that’s actively painful to watch for anvilicious lesson???

- Why did they not do the cheerleading thing? It was kind of KP’s thing, and replacing it with soccer for no reason was just pointless and dumb.

- They really fucked with the KP lore. Some of it wasn’t fully detrimental and helped with the translation to live action-- I don’t mind Rufus the hyperintelligent test subject found in lab because it explains him in a way his backstory wouldn’t and willing suspension of disbelief would not get past in a live action show. Others made sense for the short form but were just a pain to hear because like... there’s a whole backstory to KP which we’ve seen and it just isn’t as impactful to just gloss over it all when the story literally takes place during what the show considered backstory (KP entering highschool-- seriously, we couldn’t get her epic cheer tryout???)

- With the budget for effects and the translation from the cartoon, some things just didn’t work. Ron’s physical humour was at least discarded pretty quick because it didn’t really work in live action as well, but there are other things too that were weird.

- KIM. Let me give this chick credit where it’s due, she didn’t do horribly. She just wasn’t quite right. Part of it is that she’s in-universe younger than Kim ever was in the show and the actress is younger than Kim’s voice actress-- Kim moved and spoke with a confidence this girl can’t/doesn’t emulate. It stands out when almost everyone else is on point voice-wise. The original opening theme makes the voice difference stand out more too, so despite my general enjoyment of it, it really did make the movie feel weaker by reminding me of the so much better show this is based on. 

- It ends with a deagged Drakken entering Middleton High and the not-synthodrone Mary-Sue joining the team permanently. Like, really guys? I was getting movie pilot vibes, yeah, but if you want to reboot it as a whole show can you at least be more true to the lore so you can use it? Anyways, deaged Drakken is the worst part of this though. I could deal with an un-Sued Sue... but the actor playing Drakken was perfect don’t replace him!!!

- That one meta joke about one outfit being cartoony. Bitch you wore the same mission outfit through the whole movie too. And Kim was notable for animation of its time for its rotating consistent wardrobe, and to be honest I think it’s notably more realistic than most live action Disney’s infinite wardrobe that clearly carried over here. Kim always had lots of outfits, but you also saw some outfits or pieces repeat like a real person’s limited wardrobe causes. Did you guys even look at the source material?

Anyways:

Overall, I was honestly not expecting nearly as much as I got in the areas there were positives, but I was expecting more when it came to lore and Kim herself than we got. Worth a watch if you have a spare few hours but not going to blow you away. The good moments are worth it, but the bad moments drag it down a lot.

#kim possible #kim possible reboot #kim possible 2019 #spoilers i guess

[darkhymns-fic]

Parallels

As a Chosen, Lloyd will be expected to take on the journey to complete the World Regeneration. Of course he would rather stay in the village with Colette and live his life alongside her. 

At the very least, he could give her something to remember him by.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairings: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel, Raine Sage, Genis Sage, Dirk Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: This was written for @frayed-symphony for a Secret Santa exchange! This fic was based off her Chosen Lloyd concept which she has drawn fantastic art for (here and here). I’m so glad I was given the opportunity to write something for you and for this idea also! (And over 8000k, I’m sorry haha). You’ve been an awesome friend and this story is just a small way of saying thank you!!

Lloyd

On one of Lloyd’s past birthdays – 14 to be exact – Colette had seemed surprised that he was getting her a present instead.

“But, it’s your birthday! I should be getting you something…” Although she couldn’t take her eyes off the little carving of a doggy figure he was just finishing up. They were far from the Church, far from Colette’s house even, in a part of Iselia’s forests where few others would stumble upon them. At least not yet.

“Hm, I don’t really care about my birthday that much,” he said once, and maybe that had already been too much. But just then, he had just finished his gift, remembering what the dwarf had taught him when the pastors weren’t paying attention. “And it’s more fun making stuff for you!”

He would never forget the way Colette’s eyes lighted up. How happy she seemed to be at one of his first attempts at crafting. But as long as Dirk kept visiting the church, and as long as Colette kept being his friend, he wanted to give her even more.

In the distance, they heard some voices call out to Lloyd. Although not by his name.

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Colette said then. “I hope I don’t get you in trouble.” She held the doggy statue safely in her palms.

Chosen, Chosen One the wind kept repeating. Lloyd shook it away.

He took her hand then, the one free of the statue, and smiled. “Hey, if you want to get me a present, you should take me exploring! I don’t think we’ve done much of it lately.”

Colette had smiled too, gripping the boy’s hand tight. Once they rushed away from the voices, Lloyd had sometimes imagined that they were both running away from those voices forever…

“Chosen! Chosen One!”

Lloyd had been trying to work on the necklace for the past three weeks, but there was always something interrupting him. The knock on his door, along with the insistent calling, was just another one of those.

He instantly put away his tools and the nearly finished necklace in a small tin box. Doing it fast enough while also not scratching up the jewelry proved to be a bit challenging, and he probably just made more noise that way. He could already hear the pastor grumbling outside his door. “J-just a minute!” he called out, going to a nearby cabinet.

“Chosen, this is the fourth time this week you have been late for your lessons. Punctuality is highly important-”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem!” Lloyd was trying to fasten up his outfit. It always felt so stiff and hard to move around in, but just getting away with the shirt and pants he slept in never cut it. (He tried). Once everything was set, he finally opened the door, totally not looking like he had been up half the night working on his project. “Okay, I’m set!”

Even after a lifetime of being at the Church, he never knew how to talk to the pastors, always so proper and formal in their speech. The old man looked at Lloyd with a certain air of disapproval – just a little bit, for he was still to be the savior of their world after all. He inclined his head slightly to Lloyd, maybe too much. Lloyd thought the big hat he wore would fall off from the action, and even shifted a little to catch it if it did.

“You’ve been doing so well lately in your memorization of the scriptures, Chosen. It would be beneficial of you to simply focus on that than on other, less vital pursuits.”

…Crap, did the old man already find out what he’d been doing? Lloyd shifted nervously on his feet, which probably didn’t help his image. “I just overslept a little! Sleeping is pretty important!”

The pastor didn’t argue, because it was frowned upon to argue with the Chosen. A little loophole that Lloyd had found out about when he was little, and may have used it to his advantage numerous times.

Well, until his dad got involved.

Lloyd pushed that thought aside and was more or less nudging the pastor away from his room’s door to get going. “Anyway, uh, let’s go! Got a lot of books to get through!” And man, was there a lot of books. He could read fast and well with all the years of book-reading he was forced to do. Not like he enjoyed it, but what else could he do?

“My, I must apologize then, Chosen. It is good to see you eager for a lesson!”

Lloyd put on a big smile until the pastor turned away to head for the stairs. Once unseen, he was back to frowning. The old man really was old and had not noticed Lloyd had long stopped following him. The Chosen watched him descend the steps, then leaned back against the wall, sighing so deeply it pulled at his chest.

Was there really a point in having more lessons?

As a Chosen, there wasn’t much Lloyd was allowed to do, and there weren’t many places he was allowed to go either. He was salvation itself, so he needed to be safe, and to stay safe, he needed to remain within the Church at nearly all times until he went to school. Going to school had always been something he’d look forward.

But as time passed, it was getting harder to enjoy much of anything.

Anything except the necklace, which he had been working on day and night – whenever the priests weren’t paying attention. At the very least, he could leave something behind for her, hoping that was enough.

And… if he had to choose, he would rather go through all this than anyone else… He imagined briefly of another dealing with the role of Chosen and it only made the ache inside him worse.

It was better this way.

Down the stairs’ corridor, he could hear the confused mutterings of the priest. He rolled his eyes and quickly followed after. Just something he would have to go through. Again.

…Still, these lessons dealt with way, way too many books.

Living at the Church did have some benefits though.

For one, it was right by the beach, which Lloyd had definitely snuck off to on more than one occasion. Colette had worried if it was okay for him to go, and Genis had worried he would trip against one of the rocks and crack his head open, thus ruining Sylvarant’s one chance at salvation. But that had only nearly happened one time! Making highly detailed sand castles with Colette, and burying a napping Genis in the sand, were things he didn’t ever want to trade away for just being safely cooped up in his room.

Another was that he got to see Dirk a whole lot.

Just after another mind-numbing book lesson, he made his way down to the atrium, the place more wide, the walls helping reverberate the sounds of his footsteps. He was glad to see the dwarf there, already setting up another work sculpture of Martel. Or maybe it was Mithos? Lloyd still had trouble telling the difference sometimes. He really, really tried to keep that fact hidden from his instructors. It had worked so far!

The dwarf turned to him, his bushy beard hiding half of his face, but not his grin. Hands were on both of his hips, eyes angled up at the boy that was slightly taller than him.

“Ah, Lloyd! Ya look ready to fall asleep on yer feet!”

“Ehehe… I’m fine! Really!” A tiny stumble against one of the pews but Lloyd more or less righted himself up. The dwarf merely shook his head.

“Well! I was just finished with my work. Need anything?”

Sometimes Lloyd wondered what made the dwarf come back here so much. He had been here ever since Lloyd was little, seen much more of him than of… Anyway, he was always traveling around so much, working on crafting commissions, sometimes even bringing back a souvenir he had bought on the road. Lloyd still had some of them; one of the famous Palma Potions from Palmacosta, some pottery from Triet, and even a cool-looking wooden figure of a swordsman! Dirk hadn’t specified where he got that last one, making Lloyd think he had made it himself.

He had thought about asking him many times before. But the years kept passing, and the day for when he would leave was only getting closer. He figured there was really no point in asking now.

Instead, he reached into his pocket, pulling out the necklace he had poured everything into. He held it up for Dirk. “You think this looks any good?”

The dwarf placed a hand on his chin, mock-deep in thought. “Hm, I don’t think that color works on ya.”

“Not for me!”

Dirk laughed loudly, his voice bouncing across the walls of the Church. After so much stress on being quiet within these walls, the dwarf’s laugh was welcome. He held out his hand. “Here, let me see.”

Excited to show off his work, but also worried on being judged, Lloyd gave it to him quickly. “I, uh… kinda had to rush through it this morning. But I think I got the size right this time! And, I didn’t waste the metal like you said and-”

“Hold on a bit, Lloyd.”

“Right, sorry.”

Dirk was holding up the necklace by its chain. The sunlight from the stained windows glinted off its pendant, a deep red jewel embedded in its center. After a brief look, the dwarf was grinning. “Really outdone yourself for this one.” He gathered it back carefully in his palm. “The chain work is strong, and the pendant is much more even this time. Not completely! Still need some work on that.” He handed it back to Lloyd. “She’ll be very happy with it.”

With Dirk’s praise, Lloyd felt something lift off his shoulders. The weight of everything else was still there… but this one thing, it gave him some lightness.

He held the necklace in both his hands before putting it away. “Thanks!”

“Yer welcome, lad. But.. I gather you still have more on your mind?”

Man, was he this easy to read with everyone now? Lloyd shook his head. “Nah, not really. Just bored with the same things, like always.”

“But your training should be giving ya some excitement.” Dirk crossed his arms, finally resting his legs by seating on a nearby stool. “And ya still got that sword I gave ya? The one the priests said was lost?”

Lloyd scratched at his cheek, grinning. “Hey, I did lose it! But then I found it again. Who knew it was under my bed this whole time?”

Dirk grinned back, laughing into his beard. “A shame it was not before they asked me to make you another one to continue with your training. But I suppose it’s good that you have a spare.”

Lloyd nodded at that. “Yep! And, well, can’t leave your other sword to waste. So it’s only better to use both, right?”

Both Dirk’s and Lloyd’s plan for him to use dual blades should have been so see-through, but once Lloyd started training with his double weapons, the priests couldn’t find much to argue with. The Chosen had to know how to defend himself, after all. And… his logic did make some sort of sense to them. Wouldn’t two weapons be better than one?

The dwarf shook his head. “Mighty clever thinking there! I’m sure that will help on your journey.”

The mention of the journey put a dark cloud in Lloyd’s head suddenly. Right. In the end, that was the point of the swords anyway. To protect himself until…

“Also!” Dirk’s voice broke through, and he watched as the dwarf reached around him towards a satchel, bringing it towards the front. “Got my latest commission done! And no worries. The Church will take care of the bill when they see it later.” He handed the folded clothes to Lloyd.

His eyes widened in glee at the design. “You already made it! Nice!”

“Fitting for a master swordsman and a Chosen, right?” Dirk seemed pleased as well. “At the very least, these would help you move around better, and has a place for your swords.”

Lloyd would have gone to hug the dwarf if he could – or if that wasn’t a bit weird. “I’m definitely wearing these from now on!”

Even as Dirk looked very pleased, he stared at Lloyd with another expression, one that Lloyd couldn’t place. “You’ve been doing a lot lately, lad. I hope you remember to rest in between all your work.”

In all fairness, this was a first that he ever heard come from an adult. Usually there was always something do, another thing to learn… “Ah, I’m okay enough. Besides, I’m taking your advice on things!”

“Oh, that so?”

“Yep!” Lloyd nodded. He had his new clothes underneath one arm, standing proudly. “Dwarven vow #4! Don’t depend on others. Walk on your own two legs.” He then grinned, glad he could remember that right! He only knew a few of the vows Dirk had mentioned to him, but some like those stood out. “I’m taking that as my mortal from now on!”

Dirk raised a bushy eyebrow. “Think you mean motto there, lad.”

“…Huh. That does make a lot more sense.”

“I thought ya read a lot.”

“I did! I do! Just, after a while of non-stop reading, all the words start to look the same…”

Still, the dwarf smiled. “Anyway… I’m glad you think my old sayings are of any interest. However, here’s another for ya. Dwarven vow #7! Justice and love will always win!”

“…That doesn’t sound as cool at all!”

It was easy to talk with Dirk, easier than most other adults. His dad sometimes just… well…

He saw the light in the sky in a nearby stained-glass window and flinched a little. “Oh, shoot. I gotta go. I’ll wear these though!” He held up the clothes then made his way back to his room, waving back at the dwarf. “I’ll see ya later!”

“Don’t trip over the stairs again!” Dirk called out, his bellowing voice finding every nook and crevice in the room. The pastors would have hated such a sound, but Lloyd was ecstatic. At least for now.

“…Is that a new outfit?”

Lloyd had been waiting forever for someone to comment on it, and Genis was never one to disappoint. He put his hands on his hips, knowing the euphoria he felt would be brief but trying to take as much as he could. “Yeah! Special tailor-cut for me!”

Genis looked to his Chosen best friend with a curious air. And maybe some suspicion. “Huh. Suits you better. Even those weird suspenders you have seem to work.”

“What do you mean weird?” Lloyd asked with a small frown.

“Nothing! I said they worked. I don’t get those white strips on your collar but… they also work, too.” Genis stared at Lloyd with more thought. “Yeah, this literally wouldn’t look good on anyone else.”

“Remind me to never come to you for compliments.”

Even as the younger boy laughed, Lloyd was grateful for Genis’ honesty. It was hard finding that in most people around him when they spoke with him. It was harder finding that in himself. He pulled at the, high collar in his new outfit, hoping someone else he knew would like it too. Or at least like it enough.

“You haven’t been to school in a while,” Genis hedged. Lloyd had just come back to Iselia as he walked from the Church, both of them meeting right by the schoolhouse. The day was already late, classes long over. Easier this way. Less people to speak with, less incredibly boring phrases to recite. “Chosen duties getting too much for you?”

It was meant as a joke. Lloyd didn’t really have it in him to laugh along to it though. He pulled at his collar, feeling an anxiousness to him that he had been stemming down for so long, but was slowly beginning to rise the past few months. “Just things. It’s nothing really.”

When Lloyd was quiet like, his friends always noticed. Genis raised his head, noting the tone. “Sorry. That was stupid to say.”

“It’s fine. Really!” He grinned, glad that the collar of his new outfit could hide away some of the strain there. “There’s been a lot of things lately anyway. I only had time now to even leave.”

Genis stared a little, but gave Lloyd some relief when his young eyes lost some intensity. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell them you snuck out again.”

“Heh… thanks.”

“Anyway, I know you’re not here to see me.” It was then Genis grinned, much brighter than Lloyd’s, much more hopeful than Lloyd could ever imagine to be. “Colette’s been talking about you all day. I don’t know how or when you got Noishe to deliver her a letter, but she was real happy about it.”

Noishe was his father’s dog first and foremost, but the creature always did him favors. And with Kratos having been gone for so long lately, it just made it easier.

“Shut up,” Lloyd muttered jokingly, and Genis only laughed again, the awkwardness about his duty of being a Chosen momentarily forgotten.

He wished it could be forgotten completely.

When he was younger, Lloyd had always wanted to travel the world, to see what it had to offer. When he was younger, the Church told him that he would someday, and he had looked forward to it, excitement lighting up his mind.

But on his eighth birthday, all that excitement went away.

Lloyd sat on the outskirts of Iselia, the grass around him still a bright green, the sky darkening as the sun began to set. He had been there early – a first for him. But for Colette, he would go the extra mile.

He heard her trip over the ground before he even saw her.

“Ah, s-sorry! I messed up.” He turned, finding Colette brushing away the grass stains from her dress, just a few feet away. Her blonde hair was a bit frazzled from her fall, but she still smiled.

Gloomy thoughts instantly went away at the sight of her.

“You’re such a dork. You didn’t need to rush here, you know.” Still, he couldn’t take his eyes off her as she sat next to him. She was always so cheerful and bright, and it made the world a little less scary to Lloyd when she was near him.

But it also made him feel bitter over the things he would miss as well.

“I know! Just, um..” Colette fiddled with her hands. “It’s been really boring the last few weeks without you. I was so happy seeing Noishe show up to my house! Though I think my grandmother’s sneezes might have scared him a little, sorry.”

“Oh. Oh right! I forgot she’s allergic..” Gah, why did he have to be stupid about these things? That explained why Noishe was all frantic when he came back. Even the sound of a twig snapping put the dog in a panic. “I guess I should have sent a person instead…”

“No, no! I was really glad to get it from Noishe… I missed petting him, hehe.” She pulled in her knees, looking at Lloyd with such curious eyes. “You said you got a new outfit from Dirk! It looks so cool on you!”

“Heh, yeah, it does make me cool, doesn’t it?” He smiled, sitting up straight. “It’s even got the Church of Martel symbol on it, see?” He pointed at his vest. Dirk had suggested it as one way to curb away any disdain from his pastors. With this symbol, it was still Chosen-appointed clothes. And with Dirk’s many, many work contributions to the Church, the pastors couldn’t deny him either. “It’s way better than the robe things they always make me wear.”

Colette nodded. “Yeah! You even have these cute ribbons.” She played with one now, always reaching out to Lloyd with little reserve, and Lloyd always glad she did. He was not someone far off or otherworldly like so many other people would view him as. “Are they meant to do anything?”

Lloyd thought about this. “Um… to make me look cool!” Just saying that made him laugh, and made Colette laugh too. It had been weeks since he felt this relaxed, and happy. It would be weeks that he would not feel this again.

He thought the time away would make him forget, but it only brought everything out in full force.

Lloyd was already handing her the necklace before he thought too hard about it.

Colette stared. “Lloyd?”

“I… I’ve been working on this for a little bit. Just to keep busy.” Just to make the days bearable. “Probably not as good as Dirk does it… but he can’t really teach me stuff for very long because of..”

Colette carefully took the necklace in both hands, eyes shining. “It’s so pretty! You… you always make such beautiful things, Lloyd.”

There was always something in her voice that stopped him, that made him wonder… While Genis and Raine always called him by his name, the way Colette does so was always different. It always pulled at him in a way that was sweet and painful. It had gotten too painful lately. Raine had already let him know today… only a month left before he would need to go.

“Is this really for me?” she asked, surprising Lloyd out of his thoughts.

“Yeah! This can replace the that other one I made for you a few years ago. That was all uneven anyway.”

“Oh, I still have that too… and the doggy figure! It’s still on my bookshelf!”

As Lloyd was momentarily stunned at that information, Colette circled the chain around her neck, the red jewel glinting in the waning sunlight. “I know you have so much to do lately. But I’m so happy!”

Some of that happiness got to him too. He wished he could keep it. “Heh. I wanted to give it you before I-“ He stopped.

“Before you what?”

He had nearly told her then. Lloyd had been trying so hard to keep quiet about things, about what will happen, about what he would have to face. But Colette was looking at him, and suddenly he was ready to tell her everything.

That wouldn’t have been fair though. At least one of them should be happy?

“Before I go on my journey, I mean.” His voice was quieter, which was hard to change. “I’ll probably be gone a while, so I wanted to give that to you first.”

At that, Colette was quiet too. Again, something that made him wonder. She looked ready to ask him a question. He anticipated it, unsure if he could keep lying.

Then she smiled. “I’ll miss you so much.” She kept holding the necklace in her palm, the sun making her hair shine. “I’m glad you wanted to come out here with me today.”

Lloyd wanted to hug her, and he did. That was one thing he would let himself do. He brought her close to his chest with a strong grip, and Colette held him back, her hands holding tight onto his new outfit. He didn’t care if it was wrinkled or whatever.

“Of course I wanted to,” he said softly. Then he pulled back, a smile on his face. “And once I regenerate the world, I’ll come right back again, okay? So don’t worry about anything!”

Colette kept one hand on Lloyd’s arm, while the other clasped the necklace again, pendant going between her fingers. At least, she would have something of him left.

“You don’t have to go back so soon, do you?” she then asked. The sun was nearly past the horizon, and the stars blinked up from their places in the sky. “Maybe, you can tell me what you’ve been doing? Not much happened in the village though.. so I’m sorry if I’m a little boring.”

Lloyd laughed. “Colette, I usually just stay inside and read old books all day. Believe me, nothing is more boring than that. And definitely not you! So no more apologizing, okay?”

If a pastor heard this – if his dad heard this – he’d have been in trouble. The most would have been a stern lecture, but he had heard nothing but lectures for weeks. Colette’s happy voice was such a difference for everything.

He could enjoy things for one day.

Colette was smiling again, looking beautiful as she always did. “Okay!”

So they both sat back, and they talked. Once the sun had long set, they were still seated by each other. Through all that time, Colette had not let go of the necklace. He wanted to keep that image of her for as long as he could.

Colette

“Colette… are you sure this is even the right way?”

Having never been out of Iselia her entire life, Colette didn’t know much about the world or which road led to where – especially to Triet. She sighed within the desert heat. The clothes she wore were different from her usual outfit for school, made of thicker material, with hidden compartments to sheathe away her chakrams. But it was doing her no favors in this sandy place where the sun beat down relentlessly.

“I… I’m not sure. Not anymore, I guess. I’m sorry, Genis.”

Genis sighed too, but out of exasperation. “You really don’t need to apologize… We probably should have brought a map before we left.”

“But, that nice caravan family pointed us to here! I don’t think they would lie to us..”

Genis shrugged. “I know. I’m just saying maybe we shouldn’t have rushed.”

There were a million things Colette could have argued on why they had to rush, but, she kept them to herself. She pulled at her shirt which was getting sticky with sweat, and she checked to see that her chakrams were indeed still on her.

Lloyd had left Iselia the other day. It had been so sudden, before she had time to prepare. Even Raine had not given her any indication that they would leave so soon. Or maybe that was the reason she hadn’t said anything…

“But it is weird, isn’t it?” Genis said aloud, following Colette still. “Lloyd and sis just leaving in the night like that.”

Colette wanted to say what she knew, but Lloyd had kept it a secret for a reason. She didn’t feel comfortable revealing it. Not yet at least. “Yeah,” she simply agreed. “They must have had to go right away.”

“…And Lloyd said you were supposed to go?”

“Uh huh!” She nodded, then giggled. A little difficult with how hot it was, but she managed. “I already told you that, Genis!”

“Yeah… I know.” His tone was low, unconvinced, or really, it could have just been the heat. “Well, sis was obviously supposed to bring me along too. Her and Lloyd really don’t pay attention to things sometimes.”

Colette inwardly sighed, feeling relieved. That was why Genis overlooked her obvious lie – he had one of his own. The people most important to them have left them alone, so there was no choice but to follow. Even if they were probably lost, and very, very dehydrated.

But I have to keep going, she thought to herself. As she plodded through the sands, she felt a familiar weight hitting her chest. She had not taken off the necklace ever since Lloyd first gave her a month ago. Then before his birthday had even come, the Church said he had already gone on his journey.

Colette fervently wanted to be with him, and with barely a word to her family, she had gone, leaving them a letter instead. She hoped her father and grandmother could forgive her.

“Oh! Is that it?” Genis was saying, and though still dizzy with heat, Colette was able to understand what he meant. Because just ahead was a walled city, standing so far apart from the sandy dunes. There were the figures of people walking by its entrance, and before she knew it, Colette was hurrying towards it. Any worries about maybe being a mirage from the desert did not cross her mind.

She heard Genis shouting after her, also giving chase, but she had to find Lloyd. Each day before he left, she had thought about telling him so many things. She knew she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if he had gone and then finished his journey. Once she entered Triet, the amount of market stalls were new to her! People in turbans shifted past her, not minding this pale girl with the light-colored hair. She started to walk off in a random direction, hoping to ask someone if they had seen… the Chosen around. She would have to call him that if they were-

“Lloyd!” she shouted, finding him at the edge of her vision. She hadn’t expected him so soon, seeing the boy to the far side of the plaza, trying to usher in a whining Noishe in one of the stables. He was already looking exhausted doing so. He still had on his new outfit, but now wore belts that held his weapons. She knew of them – it was why she had started using two of her own!

Colette grew excited, waving her arms to him. It took a moment before she saw Lloyd peer through the distance, and then his eyes widened. She started to go to him.

“Lloyd, I-!” And then she had tripped. She tripped so frantically that she had completely turned around, trying her best to avoid surprised passerby. Unfortunately, the only way to avoid them was to go straight into a wall.

She heard Lloyd shout her name back once she finally fell.                                  

“You know… you need to be more careful.”

Colette nodded silently as Lloyd pressed a small bandage on her forehead. It was only a minor scrape, that was what she usually got out of her falls. Although the stall she had fallen into had not been so lucky.

Once Colette had gotten out of the rubble, Lloyd had been rushing to her, eyes wide with surprise. The owner of the stall had been furious, seeing a Colette-shaped wall in his property… until Lloyd tried to calm the man down. There had been murmurs and stutters of the boy being the Chosen.

“Uh, yeah? That’s me,” Lloyd said, still trying to placate the man. “Anyway, she didn’t mean it! Colette just-”

“But why would such a hole be important to the Chosen?” the owner had continued. That had given Lloyd pause, slow in understanding, but then recovering quickly enough to avoid any further trouble.

“Because… it’s an important Church.. landmark?” Lloyd had winced at his own explanation, but no one seemed to notice besides Colette. “Yeah! To mark my pilgrimage… and junk. I, uh, I bless this thing!” He patted against the mark perfectly shaped like Colette’s falling body – the imprint of her arms raised high to try and avoid the inevitable. “It’s really important! It was made by my companion on the journey! So don’t be mad at her or… risk the wrath of Martel! Wait, is that right…?”

Yet even with Lloyd’s shaky explanations, that had been enough to send the crowd surrounding them into gasps of wonder. Soon people were touching the hole in the wall, now blessed by the Chosen, and that was when Lloyd took Colette’s hand and got them out of there fast.

She had seen Genis with a frowning Raine earlier, and wondered dimly if she had only gotten both herself and her friend in trouble. “I’m sorry,” she said, still seated on the chair.

“What? No, it’s fine! Someone would have tripped there sooner or later!” Lloyd had taken her into his room at the inn, worried about any injuries she may have had. “It’s not too bad. Just I guess the Professor should see later and then we can get someone to take you home-”

She knew he had been about to suggest that, and took his hands, gripping them tight. “I’m staying with you, Lloyd.”

She had expected a lot of reactions from Lloyd. Surprised at her determination, confused at why she would do so, and maybe even happy that she would go to him. But she didn’t expect the silence that followed suddenly. He didn’t grip her hands back.

Colette floundered for a moment, then instinctively reached for the necklace he gave her. It was hidden underneath her shirt, but she pulled it out, both to be reassured as well as to show him. “I want to help protect my friend on his journey… I’ve wanted to for a long time! My friend who makes wonderful things like this, and who’s always been kind to me. If I can just repay it back-”

“Colette, I didn’t ask you to come with me.”

She stopped, surprised by the sharpness in his voice. Lloyd blinked, then looked to the side.

“Lloyd, um…”

“I would have told you if I wanted-“ He bit his lip, then sighed. “This journey is supposed to be dangerous.”

Colette also looked away. “I know. That’s why I had to come.” A pause. “You’re mad at me.”

Lloyd dug a hand through his hair. “I’m… Just a little.” He sighed. “I didn’t want you to go through this too.”

Colette tried to search for a correct response. The best she could come up with, “Now you don’t have to be alone with it.”

“I have the Professor with me! Why do you-”

She gripped his hands tight, tight enough for the both of them. “I want to stay by your side, Lloyd! As.. my friend. And… I can help you. I won’t be a burden, I promise.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t say you would be.” She felt him finally hold her hands, at least slightly. “But it would be dangerous, I told you. You don’t even have an Exsphere or anything like it to-”

“I do!” Colette said suddenly. She calmed after. “I mean, I do. Look, it’s…” She rolled up the sleeve covering her right arm, showing a small key crest just on her forearm. It glinted blue, inlaid with polished metal. “I’ve been using this so I can fight off the monsters better.”

Lloyd looked at her Exsphere with complete surprise. “When did you get that?” Exspheres were not common to come by – it was mainly used by Desians or mercenaries.

“I… Dirk made me one. I saw him a while back and asked him if he could make me something. I told him I wanted to help you and he seemed really happy to do it.”

“…So.. he just had Exspheres lying around? He never told me!”

Colette blinked. “Oh. He said he’d been carrying one around for a long time.. It was the only one he had. I didn’t… ask him for an Exsphere exactly. Just if he had something that could help me.”

Lloyd continued to look surprised, confused, and a little betrayed. “But where would he just find one?” he asked, mainly to himself.

Colette wasn’t thinking about that now. She rolled down her sleeve, looking to Lloyd sternly. “I want to stay. And I know I can help you. So… please don’t turn me away.”

She saw him continue to struggle with his decision. His hands still held hers, a thumb rubbing across her palm. That somber look that she had seen Lloyd have lately – it was there again. There was once a time she didn’t know what would cause such a look in him.

He sighed again, but then small laughter left his throat. “Geez, Colette, you’re more stubborn than me.” He raised his head to her with a smile, even though it looked a bit sad still. She held his hands tighter in comfort.

“So, does that mean I can stay?”

“You’d just come back, I bet. You and Genis. I definitely didn’t expect him though!” He grinned wide then. “Missed his bestest friend, huh?”

Colette giggled, loving that grin of his. It was so rare now. “Well, he did say he missed Professor Sage…”

“Hey! What about me though?”

“It’s okay! I’ll miss you enough for the both of us!”

She wondered then, if that was a poor choice of words but Lloyd was still smiling. He even laughed.

“Heh, actually, um… does that mean Genis will be cooking for us now? The Professor keeps… wanting to do that lately.” Lloyd shuddered. “I could barely get through the first week.”

Oh no. Colette remembered the times their teacher had made the school lunch a few times. She giggled at Lloyd’s look. “I’m so sorry, Lloyd. I really am!” But she couldn’t stop laughing.

He smiled at that, even as he mocked sighed. “Are you making fun of me? Imagine the Chosen failing the journey because of indigestion. That’s embarrassing!”

It only made her giggle more, and soon Lloyd was laughing with her again.

Colette hoped she could keep him laughing throughout this journey.

Before Colette had left Iselia, she had decided to not mention what she knew to Lloyd. Even as she went over the knowledge in her head, searching for other ways, she knew it was not her place to say. But she could never fight off the feeling of wanting to be with him still. Once they had fought the guardian in the Fire Seal, she believed she could be useful while also being selfish.

A Chosen needed protectors, and she could even feel Raine’s gratefulness in having an extra pair of hands helping keep Lloyd from danger. He did run into monsters an awful lot…

Then Lloyd had nearly collapsed on the sands. She had never seen him so pale.

“Lloyd!” She caught him around the shoulders, and then he had just… kept slipping through her arms, making her hold on tighter. “Lloyd! Lloyd, wake up!”

“Wh…what?” He blinked dazedly at worried faces, leaning into Colette’s hold. “I was just… taking a nap.”

Genis’ expression went from worried to annoyed. “Are you serious?”

“Lloyd, how long have you been feeling faint?” Raine walked up to him, gripping her staff tight. “We may need to take you to a doctor.”

“I.. I’m fine! It’s fine!” Lloyd stood up again, gently moving away from Colette’s arms. “It’s just…the trial… I guess?”

Colette noted how quiet his voice had gotten then.

Raine was considering. “If that’s so… then we should at least make camp and let you rest. There’s an oasis not too far ahead. Genis, get started on dinner when we get there. Colette, please keep an eye on him.”

Lloyd stared at his Professor with some irritation. “I told you I’m fine. I’m not gonna run off!” Still, his voice was low.

But Colette knew there was something wrong.

After settling for the night, Lloyd had wanted to walk, and Colette hoped her presence wasn’t annoying him. But he seemed happy to have her near. They sat on the cool sands, the stars as outstretched as ever in the desert. Maybe they could find the same constellations here, too?

“Hey! Wanna see them again?” he asked her with a grin.

Colette’s smile must have been obvious, because Lloyd already summoned his wings. Great things that unfurled from his back in a great shift of azure light. Just like they had back in the Fire Seal. They framed him in a beautiful way that she wished she could say aloud without making it sound weird.

“That’s so cool!” she said, clasping her hands.

 “Heh, yeah. Although…it’s kinda hard to get used to these.”

Colette tilted her head at him. “Your wings?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, they really do look cool! But… they’re kinda big, aren’t they?”

The night made his wings appear that much brighter. They were so much like a bird’s wings, nearly as large as Lloyd was tall. Colette was seated on his right side, and his right wing was curled around them both. She had been tempted to reach out to them, wondering if that glow would make sensations across her skin.

He shrugged. “I guess this is just what it means to be an angel or something.”

Colette pressed her lips together, not saying anything at first. She still remembered when Lloyd had paled, falling to his knees, and not responding to her at all…

“Well, you’re still you, Lloyd. Just with wings!” Maybe there were better ways to say it, but she had never been as good with talking as he was. “And…” She risked something here, but she continued. “Even if you’re an angel, you don’t have to like your wings.”

Lloyd turned to her more fully. She could even feel the wind shift behind her, his wings flinching from his motion. “What?”

“I mean…” She tried again. “You don’t have to like them. Because… it doesn’t seem like you do.” Nervously, she reached up to her necklace, its weight comforting. “I think it’s okay to feel that. Or if you find them scary. I think I would, too.” Especially after a fall like that.

Lloyd kept staring at her. Soon, his wings dissipated into nothing, leaving only floating feathers of azure that also evaporated into the air.

His gaze shifted back to the sands. “It probably seems dumb… I’m a Chosen and I can’t stand the sight of my wings, heh.” His voice was hollow.

She dared once more. “Then… why did you want to show them to me?”

Lloyd took a moment. “Because I have to get used to it. Also… it’s easier with you, you know?”

She let go of her necklace to take his hand. Though she couldn’t see the Cruxis Crystal he wore, hidden away by the high collar of his jacket, she could feel it there. Maybe Lloyd had wanted to hide it from himself too.

“It’s okay, Lloyd.”

“Hm..” he said, unable to say anything more. But she felt him grip her hand back.

Sometimes silence was all that was needed. They stayed that way for a while before going back to camp.

Colette was not always so clever, or smart, or so self-assured. She second guessed herself on so many things, that even when she met a young Lloyd back then, it was his bright smile that got her to talk to him. She hadn’t even noticed at first that few others had talked to him either, that she had been one of the first friends he ever had.

But she never doubted she was Lloyd’s friend. And she never doubted that he meant so, so much to her.

When he fell earlier today, the doubt about telling him what she knew was beginning to fade away.

“Lloyd? Why are you up?”

He was looking up at the sky, standing on a small rise. He always liked connecting the stars – and showing her how to do it as well. There was only him and her awake now, while Raine and Genis rested by the campfire. Even Noishe was sleeping peacefully, with barely a whine leaving his throat.

He turned as she went to him. “Oh, it’s my turn to watch for the night, remember?” He smiled. “You should be sleeping though! It’s pretty late.”

The journey had been long and difficult, but it was what the Chosen had to endure – at least what Colette knew about it. Lloyd rarely talked about such things at all. Sometimes… the only way one could even tell he was a Chosen was at the seals, waiting for the angels to bless him. It was only then when he would look so different, but also so sad.

And each time, she could tell it was hard for Lloyd to hide that sadness.

“Lloyd… you collapsed today. Again. The Professor said you didn’t need to do that now. I was supposed to take over…”

He blinked, then turned away. “It’s okay. I feel a lot better now.”

She hesitated. Sometimes he did this, trying to shut himself away. Sometimes, she would let him, but not tonight. She couldn’t. “Lloyd, your hand. Is it feeling better?”

“Huh? Yeah.. yeah, it’s fine!”

She reached for it before she could think to ask him. Because she had a feeling he would say no.

After the Wind Seal, Lloyd had been fainting faster, too. Enough that she couldn’t catch him this time.

The scrape was deep in his palm, still bleeding a little. Looking at it made her own hand ache. “You didn’t get this checked by the Professor.”

He took his hand away from her quickly. “It’s fine.”

She shook her head. “It’s… it’s not, Lloyd. And you know that, don’t you?”

He didn’t say anything.

Colette reached for her necklace, the gift he had given her just a few weeks before he left. Its weight was a comfort that she held onto at night, and even during their fights against monsters, bandits and Desians, it had stayed strong. It was made by Lloyd who was strong himself, she knew. But even a strong person couldn’t be…

“You’re not eating much… and you haven’t been sleeping either.” Colette would sometimes wake and still find him staring up at the stars, all by himself. “Things aren’t okay.”

She felt cruel saying these things, but Lloyd could never lie so easy, not as well as he thought he could. And right now, no good lies were coming to him. He only looked away, eyes dark and his expression somber.

“Why are you…?” he started, but couldn’t finish. Still, Colette needed to tell him more.

“Lloyd, I… know about what happens.. on the journey.”

He turned back to her then. For a moment, she couldn’t read his eyes at all. She had to fill the silence.

“This necklace you gave me. It’s more than just a present… it was supposed to be a memento, wasn’t it? But, I don’t want it to be that. I really don’t.”

“You’re… not supposed to-” Lloyd stopped, realizing his mistake. “I mean, that’s not what…”

She moved closer to him, reaching for his hands again. She tried not to squeeze it tightly, even though she knew now he would not be able to feel a thing. “I… my grandmother knows a lot about the Church of Martel. She used to be a priestess actually. She never told me exactly, but her stories about other Chosen.. and the way you’ve been acting lately..”

Lloyd still wasn’t looking at her. Afraid she was just making things worse, she started to release him again. “I want to be by your side. I don’t want you to go away. I don’t know how to stop that but... I had to at least be here.”

Just as she let go, Lloyd went to embrace her. Like he had on the day he gave her the necklace, except so suddenly.

“Colette, I’m… I’m not doing okay. I’m not… They didn’t tell me this would happen.” He held her tighter. “Dad didn’t tell me anything at all.”

She held him back. “I’m sorry.”

He shook. When he spoke, his voice was a little harsh, but she knew it wasn’t aimed at her. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not… it’s never been your fault! I just can’t.. handle this. I can’t handle anything.”

Colette pulled away so she could see him. With the way he spoke, she expected tears. But none fell from his eyes. So he couldn’t… “I’ll help you find another way. There has to be one. Because I don’t want you to go.” It sounded so childish, the way she said it. Still. “I don’t want you to go.”

Lloyd looked so sad and lost that she wished she could comfort him better. Lloyd pulled her back in his arms, pressing his forehead to hers. “I don’t want to also. I just want to stay.”

Maybe it was the sadness there that made her want to kiss him. She wished she’d have done it sooner. She had been tempted to on the day he gave her the necklace, but held herself back. She was afraid doing it now would be cruel if he couldn’t feel it. But once her lips pressed against his, he kissed her back, fingers digging into her shoulders, desperation in his grip.

It had been fierce and deep. Lloyd pulled back with a little nervousness. “Um… I meant…”

Colette leaned in to take his lips again. Softer this time, finding ways to make him feel, at least perhaps a little. And maybe he could, in some way. Because he still held her so tightly, still tried to press against her mouth as much as he could.

I just want to stay, he had told her. Colette would find a way to make that happen.

#colloyd #tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #fanfiction #frayed-symphony #i really love this concept so much and wanted to give something for it #merry christmas for a great friend!

[captaindeanwinchesterforever]

Don’t Leave Me pt. 2

I just want to thank all of you who like to read my writing. I appreciate all the support! I hope y'all like this one. Love you guys!

Pairing: None at the moment *wink wink*

Warnings: some angst, some fluff, and a little bit of cussing

Summary: You are left having to deal with the aftermath of Gabriel’s death, but thank goodness you have a knight in shining armor.

Word count: 2,180

        I pulled into the garage of the bunker and parked my truck beside the Impala. I shut the engine off and sat there a few seconds to collect my thoughts. I got out of my truck and started to open the door to the bunker when I heard laughing and celebrating. It sounded like a fucking party. I was aggravated, but I knew that these people we brought back to this world didn’t kill Gabriel, so I didn’t need to take my anger out on them. I opened the door to see everyone having a great time. There was beer and food, people laughing and smiling at the victory they just had. I couldn’t be a part of the celebration, so I kept my head down and headed straight to my room. I hoped that Dean and Sam wouldn’t notice I was back. As long as I could stay out of their sight, I would be okay.

           “(Y/N)! Wait, please.” I forgot about the angel… I just kept walking, but Cas caught up with me and grabbed my wrist to stop me.

           “Cas, please let go of me.” I didn’t mean to snap at him, but I just couldn’t be in that room anymore.

           “I know you are hurting right now. I just want you to know that I am here for you. I’m sor…” I cut him off.

           “Don’t say it. I don’t need that right now.” I turned and glared at him with anger. My expression went from furious to sorrowful in less than a second.

           “I’m sorry, Cas. I know you’re only trying to help me and be a good friend. I really appreciate you being here for me, but I don’t need anyone’s pity. Just know that I love you and you are one of the most important people in my life. I just need some space right now. I’ll be okay.” I smiled and leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. I turned around and made a beeline to my room.

           I walked in and slammed the door behind me. I leaned back against it and slid down to the floor. Tears began to flow from my eyes. I had to put on a good face for the boys, but when I was behind closed doors, I could let everything out.

Sam’s POV

            I looked up when I heard the door open to the bunker. It was (Y/N). She was trying to make her way past everyone, and I assumed that she was making her way to her room. All I wanted to do is comfort her, but I knew how she was, and she wasn’t going to let any weakness show. I heard Cas yell out to her and grab her wrist. I grimaced a little thinking that Cas was about to get decked in the face, but to my surprise she didn’t do anything. I could hear a little bit of their conversation. I heard Cas try to tell her he was sorry, but she cut him off and the look she gave him was terrifying. If looks could kill that one definitely would have. Then I saw (Y/N)’s facial expression change. She regretted what she said to Cas and she said something that I couldn’t hear. She leaned up to Cas’ cheek and gave him a kiss. Then off she went to the only safe place she thought she had left.

           “Cas was real brave grabbing her arm like that.” I looked over and saw Dean standing beside me.

           “Yeah, real brave… I don’t know what to do for her, Dean. I know she wants to be alone, but I can’t just sit here and let her go through this alone. Hell, we both know how it feels to lose someone like that.” I was aggravated with everything going on, but especially that (Y/N) had to lose someone she loved. If I was being completely honest, I was pissed at Gabriel for putting her through this again.

           “I don’t know, Sammy. That’s a bit risky. Don’t get me wrong, I love (Y/N) just as much as the rest of us do but she’s different. She doesn’t like to show weakness. Hell Sam, that was the first time I had ever seen her cry. We’ve all tried to comfort her at some point, and you were able to for a little bit, but we both know that the only one that could calm her down is gone. If you feel like you need to help her then you should do it, but if you do you may not like the answer you get.” Dean has always cautioned me about (Y/N) and how she was, but it’s never scared me away. I know she isn’t like other women and I think that’s why I am drawn to her. I have always had feelings for (Y/N), but she loved Gabriel and I couldn’t live with myself if I ruined that.

           I couldn’t stand there anymore, I had to go help her. I took off through the war room and down the hall way towards (Y/N)’s bedroom. Once I reached her room, I stood there for a second. I could hear something coming from the other side of the door. I put my ear up to it and listened. It was her crying. She was trying to hold her sobs back, but she was failing.

           I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “(Y/N), it’s Sam. I just wanted to come and check on you. Can I please come in?”

(Y/N)’s POV

I was sitting on the floor sobbing when I heard a knock on my door. It startled me a little bit. I should’ve known that someone would come and find me.

           “(Y/N), it’s Sam. I just wanted to come and check on you. Can I please come in?” Of course, it was Sam. I thought I had slipped past him without him seeing me. I got up off the floor and wiped my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and opened the door.

           “Sam, I’m fine. I just want to be alone right now. I don’t want anyone around me right now. I think its best that you leave.” I felt awful being this hateful towards Sam, but he doesn’t need to see me like this. He definitely didn’t need to waste his time on me. I just wanted him to go celebrate and be happy. I went to close the door in his face, but he stopped it with his hand.

           “(Y/N), I just wanted to come and see how you were doing. You were gone for a while and I was worried. I didn’t know where you had gone.” He was so sincere, but I needed him to leave. I wasn’t worth his time or effort. I wasn’t worth fixing.

           “I appreciate that, but I’m good.” I had an agitated tone in my voice. Even with the hateful tone, he was patient.

           “We could just hang out like we used to. It was fun watching movies and talking to you. We used to talk about anything and everything. I just want to help you.” He was trying so hard to help me. I remember how much fun we used to have after I lost Gabriel the first time. Sam was always there. Through my good days and my dark days. I depended on him a little more than I would’ve liked to admit. My feelings for him started to change and I pushed them down. He wouldn’t want this hot mess. He was just being nice, and Sam deserved a whole hell of a lot better than me. As soon as these feelings started, they disappeared, because that’s when Gabriel came back into my life.

           “I don’t need you to save me again, Sam. I definitely don’t need a babysitter. I’ll be fine.” I sounded like a real bitch. If I didn’t feel bad before, I definitely feel bad now. I could see the annoyed look on his face.

           “(Y/N), listen. I get what you’re going through and I get you want to be alone, but I think being alone is the last thing you need to be right now. All I want to do is help you and all you do is push me away. I see straight through that act you put on for everyone else. I’m your friend (Y/N) and I care about you. So please just let me help you!” Sam had never raised his voice at me before. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I tried to hold them back, but one fell down my cheek. I saw the regret on Sam’s face for what he did. He started to apologize, but I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. He engulfed me in his arms and I finally felt safe again, just like before.

           “I’m sorry, Sam. Can you stay here with me for a little while?” I just wanted his company, nobody else’s just his. Sam shook his head yes and we walked into the room and closed the door behind us.

           Sam and I were laying on our backs staring up at the ceiling of my room. We were just kind of enjoying each other’s company, not really talking until I spoke up.

           “I’m sorry I was so mean to you earlier. I don’t know how to act or feel about what just happened. I want to believe that Gabriel is alive, but I have a gut feeling that he’s actually gone this time. I’m furious with him for doing this to me again, but most importantly I want to kill Michael. I want revenge Sam and I’ve never felt like this before. I’m overwhelmed with all the different thoughts going through my head. What’s even worse is that I have been such an awful friend to you, and you didn’t deserve any of it. Sam, you’re the only one I can be myself with and you have no idea how important that is to me. There are no words to describe how sorry I am to have put you through so much. I don’t deserve to have a friend like you.” I had rolled over on my side facing Sam while I said this. I really didn’t deserve him. The fact he still wanted to help me after I was such a bitch to him made me appreciate him even more. He rolled over to face me and looked at me for a second with his sad puppy dog eyes.

           “(Y/N), you don’t need to be sorry. I don’t blame you for what you said or how you acted. I would have done the same thing. I understand why our friendship changed when Gabriel came back. You loved each other and he had just stepped back into your life. I don’t blame you for wanting to spend all your time with him. You’re very special to me (Y/N) and I just don’t want you to feel like you have to go through this alone. I was there for you then and I am here for you know. I always will be. As for Michael, he isn’t coming back (Y/N). He is stuck in that other world with Lucifer. Where I hope they’ll rip each other apart.” He reached up and tucked some stray hairs behind my ear. I couldn’t help but smile. Sam made me feel safe and he took care of me.

           “Thank you, Sam.” I smiled at him and nuzzled myself up against his body. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. Right before I fell asleep, I heard him whisper something, but I couldn’t quite make out the words.

Sam’s POV

           (Y/N) snuggled herself up to me and I wrapped my arms around her. I missed this so much. I missed the smell of her hair, how warm her body was against mine, the conversations we used to have, but most importantly I missed her. I felt like I could fly. The smile on my face was never going to leave. (Y/N) deserved so much better than what her life has handed her. She was rough around the edges and often put up a wall to keep people out, but under all that she had the most beautiful soul. I had never had feelings like this for any other woman, she was everything to me.

           I could tell (Y/N) was starting to fall asleep, so I pulled her in closer. Her face was buried into the crook of my neck. Her breathing started to slow, and I could tell she had finally fallen asleep. I kissed the top of her head and whispered, “I promise to always take care of you and never leave you. I love you, (Y/N). I always have.”

           I could feel my eyes starting to get heavy. I didn’t want to leave her, so I rested my head on her pillow and drifted off to sleep.

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural fandom #supernatural gabriel #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #castiel #spn #spn fanfic #spnfandom #SPNFamily #spn gabriel #gabriel fanfic #gabriel fanfiction #sam winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction

[paladin-andric]

An Even Game

Hey, everyone! After finishing Blackheart I had a few ideas for some shorts, so I think I’ll be posting some! This one’s about a bunch of mercenaries taking some time off to play some rather elaborate games...

Sofia’s entrance into the company hall was far from silent, but with the boisterous shouts coming from the table, it might as well have been.

None of the group of five could hear her coming as they laughed and complained, the sound of rolling dice and shuffling paper being heard.

“It’s nonsense is what it is!”

“You’re just mad you’re losing!”

“Hey, I’m only losing ‘cause you stacked the game, you rat!”

The woman was a member of the Drakebloods, a mercenary company that had been successful enough to found their own hall. While small, as the company was, it was a pretty massive achievement for them.

It appeared several of the members were using their downtime to play games at the hall, all of them crowded around the round, wooden table and sat in cheap wooden chairs.

Sofia, a soldier within the company, chucked her things onto an empty table as she made her way to the end of game room. Ahead of her they sat, a massive map, a mess of cards and papers, and dice and miniature figurines taking up the entirety of the table.

“Hey boys,” she said casually, most of them turning to look at her.

“Oh, hey Sofia!” David answered, a notable chipperness in his voice.

David was one of three humans at the table, the others being Michael and Emanuel. The fourth member of the group was a koutu, one Sofia knew very well as Con. Though his true name was Conchobhar, enough of the company called him by the simpler nickname that he was now known by both.

The final man at the table was a saalik, one of the lizards from the desert kingdom across the seas. He was Bahim, one of the largest and most intimidating warriors in the whole company. His great size, plainly apparent strength, and frightening reptilian visage did little to show his true nature.

Emanuel smiled at her. “Hey, wanna join? We’re short a player!”

“Pona Federation’s still not taken,” Michael added, sounding a touch irritated.

“Uhh, actually I’d just like to watch, thanks,” Sofia answered, hands on her hips.

“Come on!” David said, trying to egg her on.

“We’d love if you joined us!” Conchobhar said cheerfully, clutching onto a slip of paper.

“Really, thanks but I don’t want to. I don’t even know what you’re playing.”

“We could teach you,” David said softly, a playful grin on his face.

“That’d take ages.” Michael’s voice was low and carried frustration in it. “This game’s already an hour in and we’ve barely done anything. Can we get a move on?”

“Hey...if she doesn’t want to play, we shouldn’t make her,” Bahim’s voice was quiet and meek, as it usually was. Quite a mismatch for the brutish-looking warrior.

“Tsk, whatever,” David said with a roll of his eyes, “If you say so…”

Sofia pulled a chair from another table and joined them, leaning over the massive map and piles of papers. “What in the world is this game, anyway? What needs THIS much work to play?”

“Deacan Kings!” Conchobhar said excitedly.

“Deacan Kings…?”

“You mean to tell me you’ve never played it?” Emmanuel asked, his tanned face staring at her in confusion.

She shook her head. “Never heard of it.”

“Wow…I thought everyone in the whole damn company played this at least once,” David mused.

“Not me. What IS it, anyway?”

“Deacan Kings is like playing history!” Conchobhar cried. “Err...well, like playing how history could have been, anyway. You pick a nation and try to manage your kingdom, and build up the administration, deal with court intrigue, and conduct politics with other plays, forge alliances, scheme, and try to conquer all of Deaco! It’s wonderful!”

Sofia crossed her arms and frowned. “Manage politics and administration? Sounds complicated.”

“Oh, it is!” Bahim said, a sort of shy happiness dancing on his face. “B-but it’s really fun! Once you learn everything, there’s just so much you can do! There’s so many different paths for you to take your nation! There’s dozens of laws you can change your stance on, and nation get their own bonuses, and your ruler gets personality traits that change things and limit what you can do, and how the game goes…” The large lizard stared off into the distance, lost in his joyful recollection of the rules like a child telling his parents about his favorite play.

“Hey, speaking of ruler traits…” David tapped the map. “Turn 20. Time for everyone to get one.”

The group all grabbed for a stack of notes in the corner, each taking one off the top one by one. As they looked at what trait their ruler now had, varying reactions came from all over the table.

“Oooh, I got workhorse!” Conchobhar said excitedly, “Yes!”

“Ah, whatever,” Michael said angrily, tossing his card to the table.

“What, what'd ya get?” David asked.

“Soft-hearted.”

“Hey, that’s not bad at all!” Conchobhar said, “That’s amazing for the endgame!”

“Yeah...for when you have a massive empire,” the irritated human said, “I’ve got two regions, man. TWO. All cause David’s mad that I’m better than him.”

“Aww, what are you talking about? I thought you were GOOD at this game!” David laughed mockingly.

“Literally no one plays the kobold tribes, you ass. They get annexed by turn three, tops.”

“Michael’s the best Deacan Kings player, basically ever,” Conchobhar explained to Sofia in a low whisper, “Whoops everyone here every time we play. David complained so now he’s handicapped.”

The woman nodded, now understanding why Michael seemed so annoyed. He was too good to play with, so they had given him a nation so outgunned it would be hopeless to win in most other players’ hands.

“Oh, and soft-hearted boosts happiness and lowers unrest in every region,” the birdman added, “Pretty amazing when you’ve got dozens of places to keep under control.”

The woman nodded, becoming more interested in the game. “I see…God, this is complicated. Interesting, though...”

“And yet here you are at turn 20. I don’t see what you’re complaining about…” David was grinning like mad.

“Cause you’re BAD,” Michael said, flashing a grin of his own, “Five thousand tribal warriors, and you just can’t stamp me out.”

“Tsk. You got lucky!”

“Nope. Learn about terrain and maybe your massive army could beat a couple of kobolds with sticks,” he shot back.

“I’m gonna kick your ass!” David shouted, “Just wait til ya-”

The man’s eyes went wide as he stared down at his card, his mouth freezing in place.

“Oooh, I think he got something good,” Emmanuel said, looking over at the other man.

“What? What did you get?” Conchobhar asked, trying to peek over his card.

“...GENIUS!” David announced triumphantly, “King Bohem is now a genius!”

“Horseshit,” Michael grumbled. The others all chattered in excitement as he tapped the table, deep in thought.

“That’s a good trait, I’m guessing.” Sofia said, the others turning to look at her.

“Are you kidding?! It’s the best trait in the whole game!” David answered, still ecstatic.

“It lowers civil unrest, boosts tax and trade revenue, increases your military command, gives a nationwide boost to prosperity, and makes you able to change laws three times as fast!” Conchobar explained giddily.

“I haven’t seen anyone get genius in a long time,” Emmanuel said quietly, “Speaking of which...I’ve got agriculturalist now.”

“Aww, come on!” Michael complained, “Did EVERYONE but me get a good trait?!”

“Soft-hearted’s a good trait, just-”

“Just not for the current situation, yeah yeah yeah,” the increasingly frustrated man cut Conchobhar off, “I know.”

“A true ruler serves the people,” the koutu said with a sly grin.

“Chieftain Stonebark giving his slaves hugs doesn’t really matter when they’re all about to die, does it?” Michael said with a roll of his eyes.

“...ah.” Bahim’s eyes rose from his card, a sullen expression on his muzzle. “Err...cheer up, Michael. Stonebark’s got it better than the Sultan.”

“Oh dear. Get one of the negative traits?” the man replied.

“Ahaha...you know how David got the best trait in the game?” the large lizard smiled sheepishly. “Err...Sultan Venhim is now...insane.”

There was a brief pause, the entire room bathed in oppressive silence for a moment...before everyone erupted into laughter.

Sofia watched them all lose it, confused by their reactions.

“O-oh, God!” David slapped his thigh. “Oh, WOW!”

“Rest in peace, Abinsil,” Emmanuel said, trying not to laugh.

“Oh dear...that just leaves the kobold tribes as allies to the Koutu Kingdom,” Conchobhar said with a notable amount of worry.

“Tsk...sounds like I might need to sail down there and take a few regions, Bahim,” Emmanuel said.

“W-what?! Aww, come on!”

“Hey, my back’s been against the wall this whole game! I’ve gotta do what I’ve gotta do,” the human answered back.

Michael’s anger seemed to have evaporated. “Huh. I guess things really could be worse…”

“Uhh...why are you all talking like he’s just out of the game?” Sofia asked, “Is it really that bad?”

“Yes, and he basically is,” Conchobhar answered.

“Insane makes you roll the dice at the start of every one of your turns,” Michael explained, “If you roll lower than 20, every one of your actions, changing laws, moving troops, diplomacy and troop movements...is decided randomly by rolling to see what happens.”

“Insane rulers basically flail about doing nothing until their entire nation is wiped out, since they can’t even move their troops to defend or attack anything,” Emmanuel added.

“That sounds...really, really dumb and unfair,” Sofia said, rubbing her chin.

“Yeah, but it makes civil unrest skyrocket too.” Conchobhar flashed a scrap of paper with lists of names and traits. “If they survive long enough there should be a civil war, and since the player usually can’t respond in any way they’re beaten and overthrown quickly...not that anyone should TRY to keep an insane king in power! Once they roll for their new monarch they can start playing again.”

“Ugh...PLEASE don’t invade me,” Bahim whined, “I don’t wanna get kicked out now!”

“I don’t know…” David gave the lizard a predatory grin. “You’ve been developing your regions SO well. They’re so rich…”

“Aww, come on! Don’t! Pleeeaaase?”

“Hmm...I’ll send you a marriage proposal!” Conchobhar announced, “Then we can form an alliance and I’ll take the heat off of you!”

“R-really?! Wow, thanks!”

“Don’t thank him yet, your loony king still has to roll to accept,” Michael noted.

“I’ll just keep trying til we succeed!” the koutu said happily, “Then I can deploy in your regions!”

“Hey, now everyone’s in a coalition against me!” David cried, “No fair!”

“Hey, you’re the one who picked the overpowered nation,” Michael said with a grin, “It’s only natural.”

“Bah! I’ll just deploy dragons against you all!”

“Once my capital gets to the next prosperity level I can summon dragons too,” Michael said, “You’d better watch out…”

“Argh! I won’t let you live that long! I’m attacking you!”

Michael shifted miniatures as David did the same, the two of them moving their “soldiers” into lines across their borders.

“Better hope that this doesn’t end up like the last assault…” the kobold player said with a grin.

“Whatever!” is all David, the Geralthin player managed in response, grabbing a sheet of paper. “Pah...forty to one, you see that?! You’re hopelessly outnumbered.”

“Than it’s an even game.”

Sofia leaned back as she watched them all go, everyone shouting encouragements and playful insults as the two players prepared for battle.

Perhaps I should learn how to play, too…

Tag list: @thereisnothingwrongwithbeingmad, @lady-redshield-writes, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @sheralynnramsey, @tawnywrites, @writer-on-time, @oceanwriter, @zwergis-spilledink, @fluffpiggy, @elliewritesfantasy, @homesteadhorner,  @laurenwastestimewriting, @elaynab-writing, @the-ichor-of-ruination, @disheveledcorvid-deactivated201, @reya-writes, @bexminx

[knightofbalance-13]

https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/178357985392/done-dirty-the-white-fang

Too bad both are technically terrorists because both use fear to achieve their political goals and both ultimately are failures because both are just inferior versions of Ghira’s philosophy who, mind you, is the only ACTUAL civil rights leader the White Fang had.

Yeah, I maybe getting into my own political beliefs here but at least I can explain myself better.

Y’know, finding interesting ways to showcase the subject at hand is getting difficult…

How, you’ve just used common as fuck memes. These aren’t even your ideas, they’re the ideas of others you’re using.

You want to know something?- I’d say that the humans were pretty damn fortunate that all the faunus wanted was equality. They could have easily had enslaved their would-be-racist asses after they had won that war (actually, this sounds like a kickass ‘what-if’ story, if someone wants to make that, send a link my way please).

1. That is racist Dudeblade. Ruby, Yang, Jaune, Nora, Ren, Pyrrha, Coco, Yatashuri, Neptune, Ozpin, Oobleck, Glynda, Port and so many more have not display racism at all. Hell, most of these have actually displayed the EXACT OPPOSITE by just treating as normal people. Anything else would be racist.

For fuck’s sake, weve seen four racist characters in RWBY. One of which is reformed, one of which is a jackass bully, one of which was an attempted TERRORIST and the last is Snowy Satan.

2. Dudeblade, mind explaining to me how the people of Remnant today are responsible for the actions of PEOPLE THEY’VE NEVER MET? Especially since, by your logic, every single Fanaus is responsible for the actions of the WF. Meaning they have more blood on their hands due to the Fall Of Beacon than humanity as a whole.

And 3. Goes to show your mindset for this doesn’t it? Goes to show you have a political bias to make things look bad.

But really, the narrative seems to be really split on how we’re supposed to treat the WF. If we’re supposed to sympathize with them, then making them a terrorist group that Blake has to reform makes that hard. If we’re supposed to hate them, then making it so that they were retaliating against oppression and racists was a poor choice.

Yeah-

You know you can sympathize with people while also condemning their actions right? I mean, that is literally the only thing that stops me from feeling completely detached from you people. After everything you’ve done with LESS justification, I can still see you all have your issues.

Or can you only see the world in monochrome?

To clarify before I go any further: I side with the White Fang. Not with Adam. The WF is a civil rights group made to ensure the equality of Faunus (And is for some reason the only civil rights group to do so), and defend them. Adam, on the other hand, is a white kid who kills people in schools because he got rejected by a girl he liked (arguably the most accurate thing about the racism plot). This is the main point of the image used.

Too bad Dudeblade, that’s not how that works.

When you side with one side, you side with everyone in control of that side. That includes Adam. And thing is: you just displayed the exact same thought process as Adam with your opening paragraph.

That’s like if a Nazi said “Oh, I just side with the idea of rebuilding Germany. I don’t with the Furher.” The people charge DEFINE the meaning of the group. And the last two were terrorists.

Also, as BLM shows, you can’t get equality through fear. You just devolve yourself to your enemies’ point.

On it’s own, the idea of Faunus isn’t necessarily a bad one. Taking inspiration from racism in America isn’t a stupid choice. But they didn’t take inspiration from racism in America, they based it on the struggle of African Americans in the US. And when you just copy/paste that onto your fantasy minorities that are supposed to be a stand-in for all racial minorities, it creates a problem.

A. The Fanaus were never enslaved. That alone disproves the ‘copy paste’ bullshit.

And B. You’re using American sensibilities to argue about the Fanaus so by your own logic, your arguments don’t work.

See, there are reasons as to why people would be afraid of faunus outside of them looking different. They hold inherent advantages like superior hearing, and night vision.

An easy fix for this would be to make it so that different faunus types are treated differently.

Dudeblade-

Name me one advantage an African man has over a Caucasian man.

The moment you make this about genetics, the moment the racists have a point.

Racism is petty, nonsensical, destructive and superficial. Your way would just justify that.

For example: Velvet. She’s got bunny ears. That means that she’s one of the “non-feared (Read: ‘good’)” faunus because all her trait does is give her better hearing. She’s ‘cool’ because she poses very little threat. Blake could also be in this category because she also only gets better hearing, but she might be trusted a little bit less because she gets better night vision thanks to her feline heritage. She is also ‘cool’ because she poses very little threat.

Except ALL fanaus have those traits. So there’s no difference.

Also people are racist against Asian people despite being genetically shorter than Cauasians. How are you gonna justify that? Easy answer: there is no justification. You just don’t understand racism.

Now we go to the other side of the spectrum and go to Tyrian. He would be one of the “Feared” faunus. Scorpions on their own already freak me out, so making one human-sized and still letting him keep his venom is terrifying to me. Tyrian is ‘uncool’ because he poses a very clear and dangerous threat.

Again, no one cares about ‘safety’ or whatever. Doing that would JUSTIFY the racism as natural paranoia. It’s the same reason why the X-Men don’t work as racism standins-because the bias against the mutants is JUSTIFIED since mutants have abilities that grant them a distinct advantage over normal people AND they can kill so many people so easily.

Faunus could have been used to showcase multiple forms of fear. In fact, these natural weapons and abilities would be an easy reason to justify humans hating them (again: Jealousy is right there). 

THAT. IS NOT. THE POINT.

How do you NOT understand that doesn’t work because it sends the message of ‘racism is okay so long as the race is a threat to you!’ God, are you TRYING to make RT look racist? Or are you THAT blind?

See, if it were jealousy that fueled the hatred, then a lot of things would make sense. Humans are mad that they can’t have the advantages that faunus have, so they attack and belittle them. Not only would this make sense, but it would be a far better idea than what’s going on right now (though, to be fair, it’s not that hard to be better than the canon story for faunus discrimination).

And yet somehow, you made a plotline where Jacques Schnee’s abuse of the Fanaus and Cardin’s racism would be JUSTIFIED and make THEM the good guys. 

People in the real world do not fear races because of genetics. That implies an idea like racism could exist in an intelligent world. People are racist because they were either taught that and never taught that was bad, they have a fear of what is different (an irrational holdover from our primitive days) or they had a bad experience and irrationally connect that to all people of that race. Racism is NOT justified. It is completely and utterly IRRATIONAL.

And this would miss the entire point of the WF plotline and just make Remnant so far removed from our world that no one could relate or care about the characters. You bitch about the fucking plotline and yet make the WORST POSSIBLE VERSION of it.

But it’s not just the Fang as a whole that’s been done dirty, there are also several members that have been dirtied too. Like Sienna Khan.

Oh goody, we can watch Dudeblade fail to understand individual character purposes as well as entire fictional race purposes.

The woman is a skilled fighter, has an interesting motivation, and managed to take over the White Fang.

And then she goes down like a bitch.

The writers tried to fix this by showing her off in the trailer, but that makes the situation far far worse.

- Sienna fights like that, and she gets defeated so easily?

Speaking of the trailer, it shows exactly WHY Sienna went down so easily.

Namely, Sienna TRUSTED Adam. Adam was her golden hero, her shinning example, her prepared successor/second in command in waiting. Adam was suppose to be the pinnacle of what Sienna’s ideals were. So even when he was within killing range, she never thought Adam would harm her.

Same thing with Batman and Miranda Tate in The Dark Knight Rises. Batman never considered the idea that Miranda was a threat to him because he trusted her.

Look, it’s possible to have a character show off how badass they are  even if they’re already dead. Take a look at Episode of Bardok from Dragonball. We, as the audience, know that Bardok is going to die, but seeing Freeza using his deadly technique after Bardok gives it his all in one final attack against the tyrant is one hell of a way to go out.

But Sienna just gets stabbed after less than five minutes of screentime.

A. That’s Bardock, Father Of Goku you idiot. Episode of Bardock is the one with time travel and him becoming the Super Saiyan that Freeza’s family feared.

And B. So are we gonna just ignore how Freeza negated that attack by simply POWERING UP an attack of his own, in his first form no less, thus suffering from the same issues that you bitch about here?

For a show that got known for it’s fight scenes, it really lacked in the fighting to justify why Adam managed to beat her.

And to preemptively shut down any argument that “Sienna didn’t have her aura up,” I have to ask you why you wouldn’t have your own guard up if the people around you were pointing their weapons at you, and had very clearly betrayed you.

Because Adam was still a trusted lieutenant in her eyes as well as the reason why Sienna was able to become High Leader in the first place.

Do yourself a favor and never play a Danganronpa game. You wouldn’t make it past the first trial.

Sienna not having her aura up seems a lot more stupid now, doesn’t it?

Maybe if I smoked a bunch of weed, drank a bunch of beer and smashed each bottle against my forehead.

Adam is also a character that was ruined. Not because he’s a terrorist, mind you (see comment about him being rejected above), but because they decided to make him a bitter ex.

A. So was Sienna. She literally said she wanted respect through fear, which is the same as being feared.

And B. He was always gonna be an abusive lover. The evidence was always there. The disconnect between what Blake described and Adam’s actions, her irrational fear of Adam, the worry and fear she has of people becoming like Adam. Not the show’s fault you reject reality.

Adam being a mentor figure and only a mentor figure should be enough to justify his relationship with Blake. There’s more relationships out there other than romantic and friendships. There’s student-teacher relationships, familial relationships, co-worker relationships, etc. 

Except it always had romantic undertones and it makes the pain of Blake leaving even more poignant-

Oh wait, you don’t understand writing. What was I thinking?

Adam being Blake’s mentor that fell from grace is really the only relationship we need for those two. It establishes a real fear, and it doesn’t add……… the problematic complications of an 18-year-old dating a 13-year-old.

Adam is a mass murdering, genocidal, racial supremist douchebag.

Adding Edhepophila isn’t even worth discussing.

Not only could this be a means of mirroring the relationship that Jaune had with his dead prop Pyrrha dead prop, but it would serve as a really cool moment of Blake surpassing her teacher when she inevitably defeats him. While I will acknowledge the fact that standing up to an abuser takes a lot of courage, it also takes courage to stand up to a mentor that you looked up to and admired- and finally tell them off or defeat them. That abuse story could have gone to Weiss, and her standing up to her abusive father- which she did. That was an awesome moment for Weiss.

A. That’s sexist dudeblade. You never call Jaune a prop to Ruby.

B. But it DOES seal the idea of fear and Adam’s sheer madness and evil. Just because a character wasn’t what you thought doesn’t make them bad.

But I guess Blake dodging into Adam’s sword and Adam somehow forgetting about Blake’s semblance was a higher priority. As was a priority for the writers to make sure that Adam goes down like a bitch. 

You know, kind of like how Yang forgot ‘Gee, swords are kind of a bad thing for me?’

Not like Adam and Yang have direct paralells to each oth-

Oh wait, they do.

... Don’t you look stupid?

I’d like to reiterate that as a surface-level idea, faunus racism isn’t a bad one.

Well your version is.

I’m sure that when we were younger, we all slapped animal parts onto a human, called it a new race, then called it a day. But it’s the poor implementation that makes it hard to sympathize with either side. 

Despite the fact that you don’t argue against the Fanaus side AT ALL and in fact side with them (well, superficially since you side with the terrorist group that uses them as a shield.)

Yeah I call bullshit.

Apparently, when fighting against the grimm, you can only resort to violence. And the grimm are a force with no mercy.

But when fighting against inequality, you can’t use violence at all. Because the racists will obviously learn the error of their way if they see their targets sitting around a campfire singing Kumbaya.

Dudeblade-

The Grimm DO NOT have the intelligence for discussion. They have animalistic intelligence AT BEST. You cannot reason with a wild animal, you can only run. But even worse, the Grimm DON’T WANT to stop. They WANT to kill. They WANT to destroy. You cannot reason with something that not only cannot understand you but doesn’t want to stop.

Let me give you an example of this. In Persona 3-5 games, there is an entity called the Reaper. Under certain circumstances, the Reaper will seek out and attempt to fight you. In Persona 5, you can actually communicate with the Reaper. You can ask it for an item, or for money or even to join you. But no matter what you try, it will always say this:

This is the Grimm.

You are trying to compare the complexities of racism in individuals to this, a creature with no desires other than your demise.

That is how stupid you look.

Also: I don’t wanna here this shit from a guy who, in this same post, tried to portray racism as something that could be rational.

And the fact that there are no humans pushing for equality is also a historical mistake. For a bunch of writers who basically copy/pasted the struggle of minorities in America onto their animal people, they seemed to have missed the part where even people in the majority were on the side of the minorities.

Proof?

Because no shit no human would join the White Fang, they’d probably just kill him. They’re racists.

As for actual equality: Ozpin, Ironwood and Leo all accept Fanaus without question, even former White Fang members. That is a push for equality.

Sympathy is a great start, but that has yet to go anywhere.

Aside from Vale letting fanaus own stores and not showing an ounce of racism aside from one asshole who could be from mistral for all we know and a convicted criminal?

There was no mention of any humans at the protests siding with the Faunus, there were no mentions of humans boycotting restaurants alongside them- It’s just the faunus struggle. 

Maybe that’s because the only protest we’ve ever seen was interrupted by the White Fang, meaning that if humans DID try to protest they’d actually be at MORE risk than anyone else because they run the risk of being murdered by the White Fang AND human racists unlike the Fanaus. Kind of like you usually don’t see BLM members who are white.

And it would be great if the writers would think this through a lot more than they have

A. Excet you know, anytime they do you just ignore it so why even bother,

And B. *throws him a shovel* the guy you want to talk to is over there, six feet under. You had your chance, you never said it. Now you get to pay for it.

Because all a lot of us want, is some freaking nuance for the racism arc.

Except you know:

Not only have most of the people who bitch about it shown they don't want nuance, they want their side to be seen as absolute good and everyone else as absolute evil.

Not only have you suggested a version that would make the racists JUSTIFIED in their actions, thus making the fanaus the bad guys here. 

But there is nuance. You just ignore it.

I would say that I want you assholes to acknowledge your bullshit but-

Yeah we all know how you’d react...

#dudeblade

[thelifetimechannel]

In this week’s bonus content, Dave places prank orders on the local carapacian message boards.

JAKE: Ms roxys mom!! JAKE: Is it true your girlfriends a vampire? ROSE: Last time I checked. ROSE: To be technical, the Alternian term is "rainbow drinker". ROSE: There are some differences, but if you're going for "attractive young woman who drinks blood", you're on the money. ROSE: Similar to the way "Ms Roxys mom" is on the money, but the term I'm used to is "Rose". JAKE: Its polite for one to wait until such a time as one had been introduced. JAKE: As such im jake. Dont believe weve yet spoken! ROSE: No, not directly, unless we've exchanged witticisms in a memo somewhere. ROSE: I've lost track of those. ROSE: I think they've become independent sentient creatures. ROSE: As such, they must be allowed to flourish on their own, making their own decisions. ROSE: They're grown up now. They can make their own choices. JAKE: Just walkin off all on their lonesome huh? JAKE: Godspeed to you memos. What happens in you stays in you. ROSE: With a tear in my eye, I waved them off to memo university, where they'll learn hard truths about themselves while obtaining an education. JAKE: I hear theyre going into the communications field. Good for them! ROSE: I expect great things of them. ROSE: And plenty of tawdry hijinks. ROSE: But if you've been reading them, you'll notice we already have those. ROSE: Dave tried to order a pizza from a carapace agent. JAKE: He what. JAKE: Can you do that? ROSE: Dersites have their own message boards. Mostly focused on fashion, apparently, but you can post whatever you like. ROSE: I doubt he received his delivery. JAKE: Do carapaces have pizzerias and if so what the heck have i been doing with reheated alchemized food for the past five months? JAKE: I am alas a deprived man. I never knew what i was missing until jane started bussing us the captchas for her home cooking. ROSE: Honestly? I have no idea. ROSE: I did roam Derse for a few months in another timeline, but I didn't have culinary experiences on the mind. ROSE: I can relate, though. ROSE: Most of my background was in microwave dinners. ROSE: Which I look back on with fondness now, after what we've been subsisting on for the last few years. ROSE: Which brings us back to the original topic, more or less. ROSE: Yes, this outfit has vampires now. That's a thing that we have. JAKE: Man. You guys were off having all the fun on the magical hijinks. JAKE: Not that tomb raiding wasnt a blast but you know there were no vampires. ROSE: As many of the more romantic novels would suggest, it's a bit of a burden. ROSE: But an asset if you want to keep your plans after being shot through the abdomen, or so she tells me. JAKE: So does it come with the unholy cravings and aversion to the daylight or is this weird alien vampiracy? ROSE: Actually, she's one of the few of her kind that enjoys the sun. ROSE: As for unholy cravings... ROSE: That depends on your definition. ROSE: *eyebrow waggle* JAKE: Er. JAKE: The blood drinking i meant the blood drinking!! JAKE: Gosh what you two do together is your own private matter. *tugs collar of god tier cape.* ROSE: She's working on that. ROSE: She won't go for your jugular without permission, if that's what you're worried about. JAKE: Good to know. Im not presently in a state of mind where id be interested. ROSE: Not that many people enjoy the subtle pleasures of being lunch. JAKE: I am an open-minded man. JAKE: But i dont think im into vore. ROSE: Based on what I've heard of the clutter in Jade's home, you may have been into just about everything else. ROSE: But then, fetishes don't always cross universes. JAKE: ! JAKE: Hey now no fair going through a mans dirty laundry! JAKE: What if i dragged out your alt-selves smut rags? ROSE: Relax. I've never seen any of it first hand. ROSE: The three who traveled with access to the house, on the other hand... ROSE: Also, I have smut rags? ROSE: Where are they? ROSE: I must see these immediately. ROSE: I wonder if I had the same usernames. JAKE: Funnily enough i hear you were specialized in vampire penny dreadfuls with real gals of the shadows. JAKE: Roxy did some digging and uncovered one of your many many psuedonyms. ROSE: I'll give you a king's ransom to get me copies and make sure my brother never finds out about this. ROSE: It's bad enough he uncovered my fanfiction.net account. JAKE: I will exchange it for your silence on whatever youve heard on alt-mes personal life. JAKE: Especially to dirk! JAKE: Well dirk... dirks one matter but definitely not hal. JAKE: Ill find some way to bribe jade and the rest. ROSE: I'll keep what I know hush hush. ROSE: Jade was evasive, though. ROSE: Mostly because she didn't want anyone to know you were dead. ROSE: I do know you had a passion for washed out blue pictures of women, though. I'll keep mum on that. ROSE: And the potential of illegitimate children scattered around the tri-state area. ROSE: You should always be careful about giving your full name to people over the Internet. Sometimes they do some digging. JAKE: Wait what. JAKE: What?? JAKE: Never mind i dont want to know! JAKE: Dirk wasnt exactly pleased about his alt self but as both men are apparently very very dead their checkered pasts shall lie with them. ROSE: As befits them. ROSE: Jade did use your past behavior to shame me, I'm afraid to say. ROSE: But it was yours, not his, and it was mostly to dissuade me from my familial path of jumping out the relationship plane without a parachute. ROSE: Apparently my genes don't have the monopoly on that kind of extreme evasive technique. JAKE: Oh... JAKE: Oh great. JAKE: Im an example. JAKE: A "cautionary tale" even!! JAKE: Madam let me just briefly say that by our deep emotional conversations that it does in fact take two to tango! JAKE: I wasnt the one who burned that particular bridge anyway. ROSE: Don't worry, we're all cautionary tales at this point. ROSE: That's what mythology is all about. ROSE: Respect your elders. Stay away from taboos. Don't have sex with cows. ROSE: The lessons from Greek mythology alone are practically endless. JAKE: The ol boys sound like they knew how to party. ROSE: That and not much else. JAKE: Did they do anything but go on adventures and cheese off the gods? JAKE: And hoe down like there was no tomorrow? ROSE: There were a lot of curses. ROSE: Our family tree may be just as convoluted, but hopefully we can avoid some of the drama. JAKE: I hope we got that out of our system now without having to see a man about a horse. ROSE: I think we've done a decent job of it. ROSE: I heard all of you had a blowout. ROSE: Two blowouts actually. ROSE: An emotional one and then a physical one. ROSE: We felt the aftershocks of the latter. JAKE: Yeah... JAKE: But we worked it out. JAKE: The physical blowout was the result of teamwork and friendship! JAKE: The emotional one not so much but its ok now! ROSE: That's been the story of our lives so far. JAKE: Just give dirk a hug if you get the chance ok? JAKE: He needs it. ROSE: Would he appreciate it? ROSE: I know my brother is worse than a bad kudzu infestation, but my ectofather seems standoffish. JAKE: No no trust me on this one hes on you he doesnt want to let go. JAKE: He just has a hard time initiating is all. JAKE: But hes down for some awesome platonic embraces almost all the time. ROSE: I see... ROSE: I'm spotting the problem. ROSE: We may be too alike. Someone else may have to lift our arms and gently wrap us around each other. ROSE: Then, once the hug is properly secured, it can become self-sustaining. ROSE: Maybe. JAKE: I will have to be the middle man then. ROSE: You'll broker our accord. ROSE: Anyway, unlike our illustrious Greek forebears, we're not myths written down. We can break our patterns. ROSE: I think we've already begun. ROSE: If I have to learn to initiate physical contact while not three sheets to the wind, maybe that's another step in the right direction. JAKE: I will be the one delicately managing the lamprey tendrils of strider-lalonde limbs. ROSE: Will you now? JAKE: I mean. Why not? ROSE: Far be it from me to impede on awkward sibling hugs. ROSE: I'll look forward to it.

#bonus content #jake english #rose lalonde

[ghostydoof-blog]

OOCly viewed chatlog you know the drill.

-- technicalGyrations [TG] began pestering eggBoy [EB] at 08:16 --

[08:16] TG: egg BOY

[08:17] EB: egg boy.

[08:18] TG: egg boi

[08:18] EB: that's me.

[08:18] TG: like soulja boy

[08:18] EB: one hundred percent farmland fresh egg boy.

[08:18] TG: but with eggs

[08:19] EB: hot off the truck and into market, soon to be on your breakfast plate at denny's when it's 2am and you're feeling down.

[08:20] EB: we should go to denny's sometime at 2am when we're feeling down.

[08:20] TG: we could go to dennys right now if youre feeling down

[08:21] EB: it's not 2am yet and i've been up since six making myself homemade mac and cheese.

[08:22] TG: okay instead of dennys come to my work and eat mac n cheesy with me and tell me whats going on

[08:24] EB: i can't, legs are broken.

[08:25] EB: my face hurts.

[08:25] TG: JOHN

[08:25] TG: JOHN!!!

[08:25] EB: suddenly my fingers are broken too, my skin is paper and my bones glass.

[08:25] TG: JOHN EGBERT YOURE KILING ME

[08:26] EB: it happens.

[08:26] EB: you are way too excitable for this time of morning, dave.

[08:27] TG: i have to be im at work and i gotta be excitable so i dont fall asleep

[08:27] TG: so i got music playin and im knitting and drinking some tea

[08:27] EB: i'll accept that.

[08:27] TG: you could be energized too if yall came here

[08:27] EB: i've got a pot of coffee on the table next to my bed and i have been playing threshers 2 all morning.

[08:28] EB: i need to get human games so i can stop playing this.

[08:28] EB: i.

[08:28] EB: ugh.

[08:28] TG: are you havin fun with it at least

[08:29] TG: whats wrong dude

[08:29] EB: i do.

[08:29] EB: i guess?

[08:29] EB: it just upsets me.

[08:29] TG: why?

[08:29] EB: actually a lot of things upset me lately apparently.

[08:29] EB: i'm worried about sollux.

[08:30] EB: apparently i had a family that i don't remember.

[08:30] EB: oh and we're from the same earth i accept that ok?

[08:30] EB: apparently your shades are from me.

[08:30] EB: somehow we forgot these things.

[08:30] TG: i need a second to process this

[08:30] TG: okay im starting the process

[08:30] EB: so i mean i haven't been able to talk about any of it and i'm losing my mind over it!

[08:30] TG: who told you this?

[08:31] EB: rose.

[08:31] TG: how do they know??

[08:31] EB: she's the only one that i've met that will just TELL me about myself.

[08:32] EB: she knew a john that she played that god awful game with.

[08:32] EB: her john knew a dave.

[08:32] TG: and her john gave her dave the same pair of shades i have

[08:32] TG: ?

[08:32] EB: they all played that game together.

[08:32] EB: yeah.

[08:33] TG: i have a feeling that we played that game together too

[08:33] EB: how?

[08:34] EB: everyone that has KNOWS they have.

[08:34] EB: how do you forget DYING?

[08:34] EB: or being a god or something?

[08:34] TG: when i talked to sky about some of this he basically said that what my dream was lines up with some stuff that happens in it and if youre from the same place as ME then we would have HAVE to played it together or someting like that

[08:34] TG: i think were remembering it though

[08:34] TG: since meeting each other

[08:35] EB: :/

[08:35] EB: i can barely sleep anymore, my dreams are so weird they wake me up now. i can't remember them but ugh.

[08:35] EB: they leave me in a cold sweat.

[08:36] TG: ive just been having a lot of migraines lately about all of this stuff

[08:36] EB: ugh.

[08:36] EB: yeah.

[08:36] TG: no dreams i can remember besides the one of someone giving me my shades

[08:36] TG: which is now you

[08:37] EB: when rose was telling me about the shades it hurt, and when she was trying to tell me about my family i?

[08:37] EB: i had a family, dave.

[08:37] EB: a dad.

[08:37] EB: you saw me give you your shades?

[08:37] TG: in a dream, yea, but it wasnt you in my dream just some shadowy ass lookin figure

[08:37] TG: a dad

[08:38] TG: is there any way you could find him?

[08:38] EB: he doesn't exist. the actual address on my id also does not exist.

[08:38] EB: the street does, but there isn't that number house on it.

[08:39] EB: i guess he did something shitty with baked goods and that's why i still don't like them though.

[08:39] EB: so maybe it's not that much of a loss.

[08:40] TG: i had the same thing happen to me address wise like they looked it up and theyre like shit my dude you dont exist

[08:40] TG: and that makes sense i guess

[08:40] TG: some shit like that probably stayed latent in your brain and surfaces without your control

[08:40] EB: yeah.

[08:40] EB: it still sucks!

[08:40] EB: i want him back, dave.

[08:41] EB: i'm grown now but i didn't want to be stuck in foster care for two years! i hated it.

[08:41] TG: i want you to find him so he can explain where the hell hes been all these years

[08:42] EB: he's dead.

[08:42] EB: if i remember correctly, it's been mentioned that he died.

[08:42] TG: WHAT

[08:42] TG: what the fuck

[08:42] EB: or disappeared into the game, if we really did play it.

[08:42] TG: thats even worse

[08:42] TG: but if he disappeared into the game like us wouldnt he be back if were back? this is so fucked up dude

[08:43] TG: do you think if you have a dad

[08:43] TG: that i have a dad

[08:43] TG: ?

[08:44] EB: probably! rose mentioned having a mom too i think.

[08:44] EB: or someone else had a mom. or something?

[08:44] EB: i can't tell if i know this stuff or if someone told me anymore.

[08:45] TG: i mean i guess the only thing we can do is ask rose more

[08:45] TG: if she doesnt mind?

[08:45] EB: she says she doesn't but i wouldn't want to push it.

[08:45] EB: she has a key to my apartment so if you want to meet her you could use my place.

[08:45] TG: we could talk to her together

[08:45] TG: just a meeting betwen all yall

[08:46] EB: i don't know dave she's really nervous about people still.

[08:46] EB: sort of a one on one kind of girl.

[08:46] TG: i could sit in the bathroom while we talk so she doesnt have to see me

[08:47] EB: oh my god dave no.

[08:47] EB: then we'd have to be in my bedroom!

[08:47] EB: what am i going to do, text her up and be like hey rose want to hang out in my BED?

[08:47] TG: dude weve hung out in your BED before

[08:48] EB: yeah but we're also more accustomed to that sort of thing.

[08:48] EB: she's been really alone for a long time, i don't think she's quite ready for THAT.

[08:48] TG: you have seen my shirtless bod before so were past that level of friendship

[08:49] TG: okay new plan: i can hide behind the couch while all yall are on the couch and i can talk from there

[08:50] EB: she might kill you if you do that.

[08:50] EB: but it's your ass not mine.

[08:50] EB: also your body is fine dave.

[08:50] TG: okay new plan: you can facetime me and we can talk from there

[08:50] TG: my body is,

[08:52] EB: how about this?

[08:52] EB: i talk to rose and ask if she'll meet you.

[08:52] TG: that also works

[08:53] EB: no deception and you guys can still use my place.

[08:53] EB: and dave.

[08:53] EB: your body is fine.

[08:53] TG: IT IS,

[08:53] EB: it IS, yes.

[08:53] TG: im yellin

[08:53] TG: youre too nice to me

[08:53] EB: i'm telling the fucking truth you goon.

[08:54] TG: youre STILL too nice to me you goon

[08:54] EB: if i wasn't armpit deep in my clinically diagnosed depression i would come kick your ass.

[08:56] TG: i mean i want to come over to kick your ass out of your armpit deep clinical depression but im at work and also armpit deep in my clinical depression

[08:56] EB: well look at us both stuck in this quicksand of sadness.

[09:03] TG: well pull each other out eventually

[09:03] TG: just gotta wallow for a bit til we feel better

[09:03] EB: i was doing ok until the shit hit the fan.

[09:03] EB: is it bad that it bothered me less when i didn't have friends?

[09:04] TG: i mean same but thats cause you have your own ways to deal with things and when friends get involved you feel like you gotta blab to them about everything and it messes up the coping

[09:04] TG: at least thats my theory

[09:05] EB: no.

[09:05] TG: ?

[09:06] EB: it's because i had nothing to worry about. i worked, a came home to my apartment. i ate and slept and watched movies and had nothing to think about but the next day.

[09:06] EB: now?

[09:06] EB: now i'm worried about my troll friends because they might just die for no reason.

[09:07] TG: and thats making you feel worse combined with your own stuff you got on your mind

[09:07] TG: i gotcha

[09:07] EB: i worry about my human friends because some of them are so sad that i just want to hug them and tell them it will be ok.

[09:07] EB: and yet no one wants me to care.

[09:07] EB: so i'm trying to not care.

[09:07] EB: it's hard.

[09:08] TG: hey if it means anything i want you to care about me

[09:08] TG: and i bet all your friends appreciate you caring even if it seems like they dont

[09:08] EB: congrats you're the only one that does!

[09:09] EB: between troll dave shitting on me for being empathetic and me royally fucking it with sollux i'm ?

[09:09] EB: trolls?

[09:09] EB: what are they?

[09:09] EB: why are they?

[09:09] TG: trolls are strange as hell and they have different views on emotions than humans do

[09:09] TG: makes em a bit complicated

[09:10] EB: i noticed.

[09:10] EB: apparently i messed up and started doing some weird quadrant stuff at sollux.

[09:10] EB: but it doesn't matter, he says it doesn't bother him.

[09:10] EB: (spoiler alert: it does.)

[09:10] EB: and i know it does.

[09:11] TG: i mean id be surprised if it DIDNT bother him

[09:11] EB: but if i don't say anything about it and act normal maybe it will be ok.

[09:11] TG: hes probably just making it seem like it doesnt bother him both for you and for himself

[09:11] EB: but i can't bring myself to talk to him because i don't want him to stop being my friend.

[09:12] TG: you should still at least talk to him if hes your friend dude

[09:12] TG: but i also think you should talk about the pale stuff too

[09:13] EB: i tried to.

[09:14] EB: but everyone else seems to want to get their nose so deep into my business there's no room left for me. i appreciate spanky but uh...he's way too nosy for someone i don't know.

[09:15] EB: i also don't get the subtle difference in what changes being his best friend to being his pale...whatever it's called.

[09:16] TG: theres only one way to find out and thats asking him about it

[09:16] TG: but id think it over before you do

[09:16] TG: i dont completely understand troll stuff either even though i live with two of them

[09:16] TG: and dude if you need me to back off just let me know ok

[09:17] EB: well, karkat told me he doesn't want any quadrants right now so i mean i don't want to poke that hornet's nest and bite the dust on it yet.

[09:17] EB: there's also the uh.

[09:17] EB: looming possibility that he's going to die.

[09:18] EB: so that's a thing i'm supposed to probably pretend that it doesn't bother me.

[09:18] TG: um what

[09:18] EB: he's messing with that game, dave!

[09:18] EB: and something is wrong with it! like really wrong!

[09:18] TG: nothing good ever comes from that goddamn hell game

[09:18] EB: it's not like i pour over every single post of his but i see enough to know that something bad is going to happen.

[09:19] TG: you definitely pour over all his posts

[09:19] TG: callout

[09:19] TG: and yea

[09:19] EB: i do not!

[09:19] TG: i have a bad feeling about this

[09:19] EB: he's not even denying it anymore, dave.

[09:21] TG: i think cause he realizes shit is going to hit the goddamn fan

[09:22] EB: i know.

[09:22] EB: i should just let other people do things for him.

[09:23] TG: john

[09:23] TG: why

[09:23] TG: ?

[09:24] EB: because.

[09:25] EB: i don't know anything useful to him. i don't know about the game.

[09:25] EB: i don't know anything about trolls.

[09:25] EB: or their romance.

[09:25] EB: or their society.

[09:25] EB: the more i learn the more worried i get.

[09:25] EB: the more i wish i could just pull him here.

[09:25] EB: give him a hug, tell him it's ok!

[09:25] TG: once he gets into the game he might be able to get here though

[09:26] TG: transportalizers are normally a game thing i think from what ive seen

[09:26] EB: i don't want him to ever go into that goddamn game dave!

[09:26] TG: rossea didnt play and she had to build her own

[09:26] EB: i want him to stop messing with it before it's too late.

[09:26] EB: he's going to die.

[09:26] EB: and i'm going to lose my best friend.

[09:26] EB: i'm...

[09:27] TG: john

[09:27] EB: i'm sorry.

[09:27] TG: i dont think hes going to stop messing with it

[09:27] EB: i know.

[09:27] EB: i know he's not.

[09:27] TG: so you can at least hope that he finds a transportalizer and get the hell out of there

[09:27] EB: i do hope.

[09:28] EB: but we didn't.

[09:28] EB: did we?

[09:28] EB: you died.

[09:28] TG: i

[09:28] EB: and so did our friends.

[09:28] TG: i dont know

[09:29] EB: we didn't survive that game.

[09:29] EB: not the same way other people have.

[09:29] EB: did we?

[09:29] TG: i dont think so

[09:29] TG: ?

[09:30] TG: but i dont know what happened at all

[09:30] EB: well my dream says everyone died.

-- eggBoy [EB] is now an idle chum! --

[09:42] TG: my dream says at least me died so i believe your dream

-- eggBoy [EB] is now an idle chum! --

[09:44] EB: it doesn't make it any better.

[09:45] EB: i have a lot of worries ok?

[09:45] EB: i'm sorry for suddenly dumping them on you but they just keep coming.

[09:47] TG: dude john

[09:47] TG: dont be sorry at all

[09:47] TG: were friends right?

[09:47] TG: thats what friends are for

[09:47] EB: yeah!

[09:47] EB: still.

[09:48] EB: i kind of exploded there.

[09:48] EB: hey dave.

[09:48] TG: what

[09:48] TG: ?

[09:48] EB: denny's date tonight?

[09:48] TG: of course : *

[09:49] EB: good.

[09:49] EB: because i feel like sobbing into a grand slamwich.

[10:09] TG: you can sob into as many grand slamwiches as you want bud

[10:09] EB: i can only maybe handle one.

[10:10] EB: they're kind of gross.

[10:10] TG: perfect to cry into then

[10:10] EB: exactly.

[10:10] EB: you've witnessed me crying, i'm gross.

[10:11] TG: DUDE youve witnessed ME crying

[10:12] EB: then we're even.

[10:30] TG: : *

[10:30] EB: right back at you buddy.

#pesterings #viewed oocly #long post // #mentioned: #keedlez2