#and a small bit of writing but not a lot

[derelictheretic]

Wip sometime!

I've been tagged in a few wip days but most recently tagged by @adelaidedrubman, @ishwaris, @strafethesesinners and @natesofrellis ty <333

Sending tags out to @viktor-sinclaire @englass @aceghosts @henbased @florbelles @shellibisshe @shallow-gravy @beemot @socially-awkward-skeleton @clicheantagonist @thomrainer @deputyash @unholymilf @redreart

I have not been writing a ton atm, doing all the october prompts wiped me out but I have some small things to share!!

Very small sneak peak at a Charmeine third bday fic that's in the works bc it's comin up soon 🥺💕

John had been counting down the minutes, unable to sleep due to his excitement. It was ten minutes to midnight, ten minutes until Charmeine's third birthday. The toddler was tucked in between Dean and himself, currently curled against Dean with one of her small hands clutching onto a handful of his hair. John gently petted her head, her light brown hair soft as silk under his palm. He could barely believe it had been three years, it still felt like they brought her home for the first time a week ago.

Well, she was much bigger than she was then, he remembers when he was able to tuck her small body against him with one arm. Not that he held her like that often, she'd been a wriggly one since she took her first breath and two arms were always advised when carrying her. Not everyone took that advisery under consideration, Jacob had constantly given John grey hairs with how haphazardly he carried his niece.

More of the single dad au, this time with a fun lil conversation about mortuary work bc I was watching a lot of playthroughs of the mortuarys assistant

Caleb laughs as Dean flops down on the couch, stretching out and resting his back over Caleb's legs. He lets out a dramatic sigh of content as he gets comfortable, Caleb trying to hold back his giggling as he bats at his dad's side.

"Is it just me or did the couch get bumpier?" Dean asks, eyebrows pulled tight together as he shimmies in place. Caleb rolls his eyes as Dean grins, playfully nudging Caleb's stomach with his elbow.

"Dad!" Caleb groans half heartedly, the grin on his face giving him away as he swats Dean's arm away. Dean chuckles and rests his arms down, opening his mouth to say something when the sound of quick footsteps interrupts. Charmeine jumps up and bodyslams on top of him before he can get a word out; earning a loud burst of laughter from Caleb.

"Oomf—hello sweetie," Dean coughs as Charmeine clambers up on him, sitting on his stomach and holding her hands up. Dean lifts his hands up and allows Charmeine to play a one sided game of paddy cake as she beams down at him.

"Daddy, do you want to hear what I learned today?"

"Of course I do angel, what did you learn?"

"Annie's daddy makes dead people pretty for funerals," Charmeine relays, continuing slapping Dean's hands and clapping along to a tune in her head. Caleb makes a sound akin to a scoff as both he and Dean look at her with their mouths fallen open in shock.

"Oh... Delightful!" Dean says after a moment of silence, glancing at Caleb who just shakes his head in disbelief.

"She says she gets to put makeup on them." Charmeine adds and Caleb repeats the sound he made before much less subtly.

"Is that allowed?" He asks, looking down at Dean who squints up at the ceiling in thought, before pursing his lips and shrugging gently.

And as always I have art wips coming out the wazoo, have a sneak peak at the 3 most recent ones <3

#been busy workin on comms but I have been doing tons of sketches in my free time #and a small bit of writing but not a lot #I have so many google docs of just dialogue bc I usually write the dialogue first and the add everything else after #so maybe one of these wip days i'll just share a bunch of dialogue lmao #misc: tag games #Far Cry Tag #nadine's wips #oc: Caleb Sinclaire #oc: Ace Sinclaire #oc: Charmeine Seed #si/oc: deputy dean sinclaire

[black-and-yellow]

The good ending.

#I stayed up to 1:30 to finish this #please like it #I can't see #if I do any more Loudspeaker stuff #which I probably will #I'm not going to add it to the masterlist on my pinned post #unless it's like super important #which it probably won't be #this is the ending. #but feel free to give more suggestions for fun comics #I love drawing Loudspeaker stuff and I think he has a lot of potential #also if you want to write a fic here's your ending #can you tell how tired I was getting as the drawings go on #hopefully you can read the text it's a bit small #bnha #mha #bnha au #mha comic #hizashi yamada #present mic #villain!mic #eraserhead #shouta aizawa #principal nezu #ua staff #loudspeaker au #aizawa smiling politely for once in his life #this should have gone with the last comic but oh well #too late now #goodnight x

[hedgehog-moss]

August! The pre-winter month. I’ve ordered hay and brought in the firewood that was drying outside. Tried to encourage my tomatoes to ripen before the first frost by plucking the new flowers so the plants would focus on their fruit (but is there anything more poignantly optimistic than a tomato plant making flowers on August 31st?) Harvested plums (very few this year—too dry...) and made my yearly supply of spicy plum chutney. Used the hammock when it was too hot to do anything else. Made my elderberry syrup (v. early this year!) but am still waiting for more blackberries to ripen so I can freeze them for winter pies. My climbing rose made three August roses (follow Pampe’s gaze) for the first time ever! It’s usually only in June. I love that she’s branching out.

#crawling along #the vegetable garden was a bit sad this year #even with a daily watering it got too dry i think with this heat #i got quite a lot of cherry tomatoes but one!! (1) courgette and 2 small aubergines and that's about it #however! the greenhouse plants are doing well and i really need to write a greenhouse update soon

[nostalgia-tblr]

I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (apart from I skipped some overly long action sequences) and I am not sure so can someone tell me whether or not Tony Stark was the baddy in that film? Because about halfway through I was sure he was but then it was maybe just an evil robot after all and I am confused because either this film was surprisingly subversive or it was about robots hitting each other.

#I CANT STAND THE CONFUSION IN MY MIND #also i get why people wrote wanda/sylvie. they should go on a wholesome chick-flick revenge-quest together. and also they should kiss. #also i am now only *half* joking about thor being in love with mjolnir #it kept doing Christianity Bits which was quite awks. #not sure why it used the bit about building the church on a rock for some metal i mean wasn't jesus making a pun there? about peter? #i think Vision might be Jesus? or else he's Dr Manhattan who's done a first year philosophy course. could go either way on that tbh. #BUT TONY WAS THE BADDY RIGHT? WAS HE? WAS TONY THE BADDY OR NOT???? #with the homocidal glitches in what he thinks is his winning personality? #and all the weapons he's made and is in fact still making but now he only sells them to The Good Guys? #except look how easily they fall out with each other and also don't a lot of innocent bystanders die in their overly long action scenes? #also i need to write fic about whether mjolnir does in fact obey some unknown code that can be cracked if you set your mind to it #she does like Robot Jesus so apparently we can rely on her to make the major decisions from now on #the ending's a bit ominous - apparently someone's collecting those TVA paperweights to do... something? Oh no! :O #yeah i watched the MCU in the wrong order shut up this was inevitable and Marvisney should just embrace that at this point #(i know 'Marvisney' will never catch on but that will not stop me using it) #the loki series ending is but the latest installment of “unlimited power with no oversight is fine as long as the Good people have it” #UNLESS TONY WAS ACTUALLY THE BADDY. WHICH AS I MENTIONED I AM NOT AT ALL CLEAR ON. #maybe what i mean is was tony stark the baddy *on purpose*? #i only picked this one to watch next because tumblr gifsets told me thor wears a nice coat in it #which he does! but only for a small fraction of the film :( #journey into the mcu #the avengers (the marvel ones not the other ones)

[werewolves-are-real]

I keep promising myself that ONE DAY, I will do enough research into 1800s China to write a proper Temeraire fic taking place there. But there's sooooo much I would want to research first. Even if I skimmed over court details as much as possible - which I don't want to do, tbh - it would just feel very shallow. And it's hard to properly flesh out any characters without any understanding of court life, dynamics between different classes... also just, you know, common beliefs? Attitudes? Religious beliefs too, etc etc.

One day! Hopefully. And we just get so little of Mianning (much less the other Chinese characters) it's hard to do them justice :( Doesn't help that no one really wants to tell Laurence or the aviators what they're actually thinking lol.

#I have some small bits from a fic I want to do #basically with confused amnesiac pre-Temeraire Laurence #who saves the prince's life and gets basically adopted into the royal family #then formally adopted when Temeraire hatches #right around the time his memory comes back and he gets to go back to England #hey I'm alive and a prince now here's my dragon #making his introduction to the Corps 100x as wild #and also after China Laurence disapproves SO much of barbaric England dragon-rearing #what do you mean you don't even cook their food?? #Raw meat? Xiang is a prince too thank you #- But I want to do a LOT of stuff in China first and really build the relationship with Mianning as a main character #(and a growing complex dislike of Yongxing who loathes him at first sight) #but also not wholly without reason become missionaries opium etc etc #suspicious amnesia backstory etc #and I can't write any of that properly without! So much research! #I am too lazy for this sigh

[sysig]

Greetings, human! ♥ (Patreon)

#My art #SCII #ZEX #The Captain #A warmup that I took a little longer with - pacing myself?? Could be #I wanted to work on the daily more at the time but ah I had a good fun with this one ♪ #Even if it was one I failed to record hhhhuah #Oh well - next time lol #Mostly inspired by accidentally starting a new fic with these two heck #Yeah on top of the recent DAX ideas coming in my brain decided to prank me with Yet More inspiration lol #I'm happy about it! I do enjoy writing :) #But it's also Extremely self-indulgent so fjdslkafjd while I'm having fun it's also like Oh No I'm Having Too Much Fun With This lol #Not such a bad thing every once in a while ♪ #They're just so cute hehe #Been having a lot of fun with this sizing of chibis lately - small sketches then upsized to ~about where I'd want them on-screen #Maybe a bit small still but that's not that strange lol #I really want to hit whichever library near here has a Cricut I must learn how these machines function and how much they charge #I mean if I can just make bookmarks at home what might the library be able to offer me hehehe ♪ #Anyway

[mymistakewriting]

so this is just a little thought that I've been discussing with some friends on discord that I just feel the need to put to actual words instead of my incomprehensible screaming that my brain's been doing.

Said thought pertains to the exchange during the interrupted first date. You know, the little "guess you can never have too much closet space" "ain't that the truth. Right, Evan?" after Buck panicked and sent himself careening right back into the closet and absolutely dragged Tommy along with him.

Let me make this clear, as I apparently have to do on all of my 911 posts: do not take this as me bashing on a character. I adore all of the characters mentioned in this post.

First: no, Tommy shouldn't have said that. If Eddie was even slightly less oblivious? That comment would've been enough to out Buck. That wasn't fair. Was it a good, snippy, dry-wit comeback to something that made him uncomfortable? Yes. But it wasn't fair. None of that situation was.

Second: Buck shouldn't have spoken for himself AND Tommy. I understand he was panicking. That first date was a damn good representation of a first date after you've started discovering you're probably not as straight as you always thought. But to go out with someone who is so clearly comfortable in his skin now and then immediately shut that closet door right back on them? Yeah, that was kind of a low blow, too. You could see Tommy shut right back down as he picked up his beer before he made his comment. You just know that Buck's panic-response of "hot chicks!" just reminded him of Sal DeLuca and how he always felt when he was trying to figure himself out only for his best friend and work partner to be one of the ones making the shitty ass gay jokes in a very negative light.

Neither of them were in the wrong for how they reacted to a stressful situation that scared them or made them uncomfortable. But neither of them were right either.

And I appreciate that Tommy drew the line in the sand that he did and waited until Buck reached out. I appreciate that there was actual communication there once they both weren't feeling raw and stupid about it all - because Buck has never had a relationship with open communication. So the fact that all of that awkwardness gave way to someone trying to meet him halfway, to being willing to explain his side of it and accept that Buck had panicked and was sorry for that behavior turning out the way it did? It's so important.

#kieran talks #911 #911 season 7 spoilers #evan buckley #tommy kinard #not writing #not rp #I have a lot of thoughts about these two but THIS is the scene I keep thinking about #there's so many small details about these two that I need to talk about #I'm just thrilled that Buck has someone who's willing to show him a little bit of grace when he missteps

[possamble]

Question to a fanfic writer: do you think that, in Marcille’s research ways *And* her love for romance novels… would result in her writing some in-universe fanfics of her own? Like, maybe she hypes herself up on something and get disappointed, or maybe she finds some character decision isn’t as ideal as she thinks it could be? Or it’s as simple as she wants to play around with the characters and see what happens?

I can’t help but imagine a scenario where she’s struggling with some romantic trouble irl and she’s struggling with deciding on what to do, but then the answer slaps itself upside her head when she rediscovers her fanfics and how she LITERALLY made a character or two do the exact romantic decision she needs to do? It would so silly but yet I can’t help but find it so charming. Hell, just the imagery of her writing romance fanfics of her own At All is just… delightful to me hehehe.

you know I've been rotating this in my head since I saw it this morning and. I went through a wild journey of opinions before I realized... Marcille wouldn't think about fanfiction like we think about it. In the modern age, yeah, she'd be a complete tumblrina -- but we're talking about a 17th century-ish fantasy setting.

Writing before the digital age was a physical commitment to investing ink and paper into your thoughts -- and this is even before mass production can make pens and notebooks kind of whatever to buy and use on a regular basis. I'm sure the situation wasn't dire, but I really can't see Marcille, perfect honor student, using her allotted supply of stationery at the academy on super frivolous things.

Fanfiction has been normalized incredibly fast in the past few decades. Think about now normal and popular D&D is nowadays compared to how much people looked down on it 20-30 years ago. Fanfiction was a freakass nerd thing to do until relatively recent history, something that was even considered offensive to the original creators.

Remember, we've already seen Marcille react to adaptations with disgust. She's kind of a hater and an elitist fan. She also considers herself a Reputable Academic. In a setting where a digitized culture hasn't reframed fanfiction as an act of appreciation and creativity, she would absoluuuuuuuutely think that fanfiction was complete loser shit.

If she did write anything about her favourite books... She'd. She'd be one of those assholes who writes huge scathing reviews of Dal Clan translations into Common. She'd be the fantasy equivalent of those Weebs/Japanese elitists on twitter tearing through every single localization choice in anime and JRPGs and being so so annoying about it.

If we're being charitable, we could say she'd be able to appreciate non-faithful translation choices that still do a good job of carrying over the original spirit of what was said. But I think we also have to acknowledge the possibility that, at her worst, she'd really really be like those guys who were malding about the Unicorn Overlord localizations so hard the (correction: Final Fantasy Tactics Creator, not the Unicorn Overlord devs) had to step forward and ratio them. (The silver lining is that she'd never get published in the arts review newspapers/journals that she submits her essays to. those poor editors just have to deal with her being persistent.)

#asks #marcille donato #dungeon meshi #im so sorry anon your idea was very cute and i know i wasn't supposed to take this so seriously but #god. the revelation hit me and i just cried laughing #she's so horrendous. i love her so fucking much. #i really do think the only setting she'd be able to write fanfiction is in modern aus #bc then she can just delete stuff she doesn't like and lose nothing but the time it took to write it #the problem is that she has the kind of perfectionism that stops her from doing things unless she can do them competently the first time #(gifted child syndrome) #but writing fiction is a skill. one that she would have to hone from zero. while not necessarily having natural talent for it. #her reading standards would be so much higher than her writing ability and she'd haaaaate that #... that said #i can see her absentmindedly dabbling in short form poetry in the margins of her journal #i think that's small enough of a scale that she'd accidentally do it a lot without thinking about it too hard #until she was actually half-decent at it one day #like... starting some years into the post-canon. this is crucial. she needs to chill a bit before this could happen

[silenthillbunni]

📓🖊️🧸

#i feel so lonely now bc i have no one to talk to sksksk #my sisters gets mad whenever i try to talk 2 mom and she just slammed doors nd got irritated at me #nd my mom is so stressed nd in a bad mood so she just got annoyed when i tried saying smth to her #so ig i should just vent to my bestfriend beloved diary confidant thats been here for me for 5yrs<3333 #anywayyy today was rough.. i woke up w a headache after 3hrs of sleep :(( #but still had to get up nd get ready nd eat boxed mashed potatoes for breakkyy 🤢🤮 (it's so gross after eating it everyday lol) #then w my hunchback nd achy stomach i went to school. it was frustrating bc ppl r so fkn rude #they bumped into me at the bus nd i had to sit like a weirdo caging my left stomach side from everyone. had to elbow some dumb fkn guy bc he #pressed his backpack into my side. so i had to basically push it away from me lol he thought i was so weird. but move tf away asshole?????? #got to school nd checked myself in the mirror nd i was so pale i look like absolute garbage its annoying :(( #it was next to insufferable to endure class bc my head hurt so bad (it was the worst part i think) nd i couldnt sit up straight so my back #hurt so bad too sksksks :< #but i managed to write a little but on my assignment #then i left a bit earlier bc i couldnt stand it anymore i was feeling so bad #wrnt to the library bc i had to return some books. could only carry two small ones tho so have to go back multiple times sksksk #felt soooo bad but ate some more disgusting mashed potatoes nd took a nap w an ice pack. took a migraine pill even if it upsets my stomach🤣 #now a few hours later i feel better physically #buuuuuut im so miserable im not even kidding #idc if it sound pathetic or fatty but genuinely that moment w a cup of coffee nd a small chocolate treat everyday makes me feel sm better #like im not kidding!!!!! it does a lot for my peace of mind sksksk T-T #im so miserable bc i cant eat anything still im so hungry :(( #and im weak. im pale. my skin's dry. it's itchy bc of malnutrition... i feel faint nd dizzy nd slow nd just not good at all #im so frustrated i hate this sm i wanna feel strong and healthy!! i dont wanna be constantly hungry. i wanna go to the gym nd go for walks #i wanna be able to sit up straight nd not get back pain!!! #i know i know it's only been 8 days since surgery and it takes time to heal i get it..... :( #but theres just too much going on and im so sick and tired of it all #mostly i just wanna be able to eat and feel strong bc i feel so weak nd i miss food so much sksksksk

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Saint of Bright Doors

a surreal Sri Lankan fantasy about colonialism, revolution, mixing fantasy with the modern world

follows a man raised by his mother to kill his father, a god-like cult leader

but as an adult he puts aside his life of violence and moves to the city for a quiet life

he becomes fascinated with ‘bright doors’ around the city that never open and have no other side, and joins a group studying them to find out more

and a support group for those with divine heritage that becomes increasingly revolutionary, until the task he was made for reemerges and his life upends

#the Saint of Bright Doors #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #this is kind of hard to explain I dont know if I did a very good job here lol #it is weird and full of so many interesting elements. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it but?? I really liked it mostly??? #It starts pretty small scale focused on the MC & slowly unravels the wider worldbuilding and narrative elements in a really interesting way #The first chapter or two I assumed it was typical high fantasy but then it’s like. oh this is a modern city. with emails and stuff. #The pacing is a bit weird - it’s quite meandering and also pivots significantly in the second half. tbh I’m still ????? about the ending lm #but also I am happy to float through on vibes. #and there’s some elements (like the doors that become….not that relevant) that I want to know more about. (as an aside - I saw someone say #that it’s a very clear retelling about Buddha’s son? which idk enough about but probably could give a deeper context to a lot of it) #writing style is kinda detached from the MC but also there is a reason for this that makes sense with the twist near the end! #which is a kind of twist i LOVE. Maybe I wish it had been emphasised a bit more over the story though? unsure. #I thought his mother's story was interesting also - you think she's an terrible parent just there for background context at the start but #then when she tells her story it's like ohh there's more context here. #also I hesitate to just say ‘if you like the spear cuts-- you should read this’ because I think the elements that are similar are done in a #kinda different way and might disappoint you if you’re expecting it to be the same as spear….but regardless the sort of dreamy writing #rich world; narrative with fantasy but also modern day elements; some of the writing style; mlm MC (tho not a romance) #idk. it will definitely not work for everyone but I enjoyed it overall #also it is full of queerness #bisexual books

[laughingtale]

the yitty yat we rescued btw

#OOC. #[ he is so small.... #[ i am working off of the minimun n a bit less of sleep bc gotta stay up to feed kitty fdskljds #[ trying to get some writings / the inbox call done but brain mush dfslksd #[ think we're going have to look after the kitty for a week.... we found someone but they won't be able to pick him up until next friday #[ <- misses writing so so much #[ falling behind on a lot of things but we stay silly

[seariii]

Que horror

#THE EMOTIONAL BACKLASH DAMN LMAO #okay so lately in my mind has been floating a small story i made like... 6-7? maybe 8 years ago for a literature class #the teacher was kinda weird and i didnt really learn anything on that class but so be it #he also made us write some sort of journal? okay and this story i was talking about i have the vivid memory i wrote it on a sheet of paper #not on the journal. so now im here like shit am i sure about thwt? where could i have put it? so i tried to look for it and didn't find it #and thought okay ill take a look at that journal AND WHEN I TELL YOU SEARI WASN'T ON A GOOD MENTAL STATE THEN IS #OVERSIMPLIFICATION. DAMN I DIDN'T READ ANYTHING BECAUSE JUST THE PAGES EMANATED SUCH HORRIBLE ENERGY #DAMN GIRL CHILL- it's okay it was something very necessary to pass by it was an important character arc but damn was it a lot #sigh so... ill probably have to re write that story.... i remember i made it in such a way that would make sense in both Spanish and english #i was really proud of myself heh... and i think its a cute concept that would be good to touch again... #heh mi pequeña Sol va a volver #so yeah ill write down the littke bits i remember and hopefully get to draw it soon... #i dont have high hopes on myself tho #seari talks

[bittersweetresilience]

i'm not really one to post snippets but... you know, since i'm unlikely to publish any of this anyway... i was going back through my fics and i am thoroughly charmed by how much i forgot i wrote. in about two minutes i'm going to forget i'm a fine writer and i enjoy my work again but for now i'm riding the high... such is life

#i'm particularly pleased with the second one because i remember writing the entire fic in a twenty minute sprint and assuming it sucked and #never looking at it again. but it's fine surprisingly. third one is the same i got a lot done that day #having a lot of writing experience is really just accumulating a bunch of similes and metaphors you can whip out easily and knowing how to #balance action narration internal external observation feeling without thinking. maybe writing poetry helps. i really like rhythm and flow #and making sentences end in a way where if you read them aloud it's almost like they're rhyming #i'm not trying to praise myself i'm just thinking #but you know what? i should praise myself. good job sunny #you did it. you're happy with your work again. you stopped having the crazy unhealthy social media feelings #you are comfortable with yourself even with everything that's happened and everything you're still afraid of a little bit #and you never stopped writing about murder and insane unshowable things 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 #everything is going to be okay i love ME and AUTUMN and MOONIE #wow i'm really just rambling to myself in the tags of a post where i feel good about myself 🤣 how cringe. how silly #but i will be cringe forever and weird and shedding the skin of my shame 😌 #i'm also listening to kurzgesagt soundtracks right now and thinking about the vastness of the universe #and how small i am and how none of this really matters and yet it's so beautiful and that just has me feeling some kind of way #🌃 #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic

[mossymandibles]

Idk if anyone remembers her, but I’m feeling a revamp for my girl Reya. I haven’t considered her in a minute and I already have a few ideas for her design...

I may include ‘grosser’ aspects. She’s a deep sea leviathan after all.

#blood #where I’m not ‘charkmancer’ anymore #and I feel like I’ve improved my designs a bit more #i want to give her a fresh new look✨ #she just has a lot going on #i want to give her her small place in the world too #I’m also working on a billion other things and writing tho so idk when that will be lol #oc reya

[idkanameatall]

Hhhhhhh brainrot hitting so hard. I low-key wanna revive all my Taz grad wipes again from the dead

#the duck quacks #unfortunately i didnt have a lot of writing from my taz era bc i was very insecure about my writing at the time but GODS i have pilesofideas #...post canon (or just mid canon #thundermen roadtrip au. where would they get a car? idk. can one of them even legally drive? probably not #hmm also had a sickfic with fitzroy going on where his magic just made things so much worse #also haf a 5 + 1 fic or Fitzroy bonding with snippers bht i only figured out 1 out of 5 and the + 1 oops #i also havr been wanting to write something with the whole old changeling Fitzroy theory going around. idk what but i rll wanna for funsies #i also had written a little bit about the tribunal going wrong i think? irk where i was going with that but it would fun to expand on that #also like always wanted to write a classic Fitzroy tapping mote and more into chaos and shit goes erongTM fic #lots of these are fitzroy centered whoops fjjfjf. hes very blorbo #also just relistening to just the curse and tribunal eps makes me want yo write even more #i wanna give the thundermen a small break after Out of Order to judt talk to eachother. i wanna write an argo POV of him worryinh abott #Fitzroy during that episode. I WANNA WTITE SM WUGHHHHHDHSBFNDBSSBZNNNFJJF #also wanna write fitzroy complaining about having to share rooms at the start of grad only to realize that when hr gets his own room its #suddenly harder to sleep anf he kinda misses the others #BC THATS ONE OF MY FAVORITR TROPES FRFR. almost all of these are just tropes i like and i wanna do with the Thundermen/do my own twist on #soooo msny ideas i can barely sit still and decide what to write kdkfkfkf

[turtlemagnum]

thinking about how the people around me, particularly people i dont know anymore, impacted my fantasy setting. the raccoon people i added because of a friend who wanted to be a raccoon. goblins existing in the way that they do because of someone i still know who really likes a specific kind of goblin, and made me like them too. even minor things, like deciding that a character's eyes were gray because the person i was talking to also had gray eyes. there"s definitely a lot of me in there, but there's still little bits and pieces of others in there too

#a pretty significant plot point for one of my characters is heavily inspired by stuff my mom dealt with #i really hope i can properly convey the gravity of the topic. particularly with tact due to how poorly i've seen it handled #in my writing i try to approach any topic with the baseline amount of empathy that people deserve. i feel *a lot*. #i sincerely hope it comes through that i care so much about so much #a particularly hurtful exchange i recently had was me casually saying that i care about a lot of things and my grandpa almost accusitorily #asked “like what” #i'm generally pretty open about what's on my mind. i try to connect with people time and time again and so often do i get nothing in return #it makes it hard to go on. sometimes. #one day. i hope i'll meet someone who cares as much as i do. cares about me as much as i care about them. #if i meet even one it'll have all been worth it. #part of me feels like saying “i can't bear to live like this anymore”. but i can. and i have. i can bare a lot actually #i don't think i'd be alive if i couldn't #there's a lot wrong in the world right now. i can't bear to watch most of it. this of course makes me feel even more guilty #at the very least i've made a habit of clicking the arab dot org buttons daily. i can't handle watching but i can at least help. #in a small way. that is. #i definitely feel like i needed to get that out of my system. rambling is what i do. after all #i feel like i have an abnormally strong will to live. i remember coming very close to a suicide attempt once. the razor actually cut into my #wrist just a little bit. i very much wanted to die at that point. on an emotional level #but i just couldn't do it. i need to live. i just need to. it'll have all been worth it. eventually. #eventually.