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#right around the time his memory comes back and he gets to go back to England
doomedmoth · 3 days
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Not fast, just furious
Pairing : Daniel Ricciardo x Reader
Warnings : use of y/n, smau, unhinged behavior, alcohol and cigarettes consumption, kys joke, suggestive texts, chaotic fluff, grumpy x sunshine, lando getting bullied
Synopsis : During his winter break in Australia, Daniel meets a barmaid with a big heart and a bigger mouth. When she starts following him during the races, fans are a bit unsure of how to deal with her unhinged behavior and total lack of media training. Daniel loves it.
Moth’s prophecy💡: Hi friends ! Pls be kind, it’s my first attempt at a smau and I’m on mobile, so the formatting might be weird. Also sorry if your name is Malva, it was the first one that came to mind lol.
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yourusername Walking in the club like we regulars
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yourbff leaving the club like an overworked mom
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melbournemirage our favorite employee 🤩
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yourusername wouldn’t mind a raise then 🤪
user1 gorggggg
yourbrother stop drinking on the job bitch
yourusername get a job before judging me bitch
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[Instagram] yourusername has added a story
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[Instagram] daniel3.jpg has added a story
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[Messages] Daniel has sent you a text
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wagupdates New wag alert ?? Daniel Ricciardo has now been seen a few times with an unknown woman around Melbourne and Perth during his winter break. At first thought to be a childhood friend, sources say they met at the bar where the young woman is working, and they have been getting quite cozy 👀 What do you think ??? 📸 via Australian celebrity press
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danyfanclub she looks cuuuute
user1 anyone got her @ ???
user2 apparently he been hanging out at melbournemirage so maybe she works there ???
malva she looks messsyyyy, doubt it’s gonna last till the season starts…
danyfanclub stay mad
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daniel3.jpg Aussie adventures before going back to vroom vroom
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maxverstappen1 honey come home the kids miss you
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user1 what camera do you use ???
wagupdates do we spy the new girl on the 4th and 7th slide ??? 👀
user2 THANK YOU I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE
user3 sneakyyy
danyfanclub can’t wait to see her in the paddock ‼️
landojpg we missed you at karting mate 🥺
daniel3.jpg sorry, too busy drinking cocktails 🤪
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[Messages] Your coworker has sent you a text in Charlie’s Angels
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melbournemirage Today we mourn the loss of our best bartender, yourusername . She had been with us for a little over a year now, and was the light of Melbourne Mirage, our pride and joy. She always won employee of the month, and not just because she created and awarded the title herself. A gathering in her memory will be held tonight at 9pm, everyone who knew and loved her is free to attend 💔
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yourbff LMAOOOOO
yourusername WHY THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I’M DEAD I JUST QUITTED ???
melbournemirage sometimes we can still hear her voice… 💔
daniel3.jpg don’t worry I’ll take good care of her 😇
yourcoworker you better 🔪
user4 DANIEL ???
danyfanclub finally we have the @ !!!
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yourusername last month stuff
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yourbff damn girl, money suits you well 😍
yourusername right ???
malva wow, gold digger much…
danielricciardo thank you for getting Max to fly us around babe 🥰
maxverstappen1 as if I was not offering after every race…
landonorris why don’t you offer me after every race ???
maxverstappen1 you can walk
landonorris TO SILVERSTONE ???
user1 from barmaid to wag, girl is living the dream life
user2 smoking is not cool girl…
yourusername minding your own fckn business is tho
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daniel3.jpg Sorry my cat bites, I found her in the streets. She’s a good girl irl.
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yourusername don’t reveal my secrets 🙄 (love you)
daniel3.jpg the world has to know ❤️‍🔥 (love you more)
lilymhe I can confirm the good girl part
yourusername I’ll be the best for you 🥵
alex_albon HM EXCUSE ME ???
danyfanclub ppl love to hate on her because she’s not trained like a nepo baby but honestly relatable queen !!
user1 boy is simping so hard
user2 she looks so fun to be around, finally a wag that doesn’t look fake
malva yeah she definitely got the street cat look…
user3 OMG GET A FUCKING LIFE GIRL
danyfanclub being this salty won’t make him like you go get a grip
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user1 replied to your story :
Did you and Daniel break up ???
malva replied to your story :
fucking finally, so looooong
danielricciardo replied to your story :
have fuuuun, I’ll call you when my plane lands 🐶
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yourusername Back where everything started. I know I sound like a bitch sometimes, but to my love, my sun, my pup, I am so glad I met you 6 months ago. You turned my life around and I can’t wait for more shenanigans with you. You make any place feel like home. I love you. To everyone else, especially those who thought we broke up because I had the audacity to go home two days before him : Fuck you all ❤️
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melbournemirage we were so happy to have you back, even for just a night ! Soon a #speeddating night at the Melbourne Mirage everyone ? 👀
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yourusername stop promoting yourself on my account
maxverstappen1 glad to have met you this year bro
yourusername #mates4life
user1 I didn’t know they were so close !!
danielricciardo my love ❤️‍🔥
yourusername my sun 🌞
user2 highway looking pretty good for a nap rn
user3 goooosh they are so cute I’m gonna kms
danyfanclub FROM THE MAIN ACCOUNT TOO ‼️
malva still not buying it
This user has been blocked
yourbrother you did not have to come back so soon
yourusername jeez 🤡 at least pretend to be happy for the gifts you little shit
yourbrother thx I guess
yourusername you’re adopted
landonorris can you bring me back some Tim Tam ? 🥺
danielricciardo no ❤️
yourbff no ❤️
yourusername no and kys ❤️
landonorris damn 🥺
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2kmps · 2 days
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DARK POOL
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aquatic monster x reader | 18+ | 2.8k
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story summary; your granduncle explains that the noises at the bottom of the lighthouse and the missing chunk out of his leg are from swimming rats. you let him think you're a fool.
story warnings; some graphic depictions that some may consider gory, mentions of biting, mentions of rats, creature in captivity, explicit sexual content, double penetration (not safe), prose + detail heavy, implied breeding, not proofread.
if you enjoyed it, please reblog + interact!!
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Granduncle told you that the rats in Cape Tellis liked to swim and when they were in search of food, they didn't care how long they'd have to paddle through the water to find it. Some would simply drift with the current for days; black-gray fur rotted off, skin peeled off bone, little faces disfigured by sea and salt, but they would keep going until their bodies nudged the rust-red walls of the lighthouse and found the energy to scale upward to a window and squeeze inside.
He mentioned this anytime you had something to say about the ruckus down in the basement—sometimes scratching, sometimes powerful, erratic thuds that you felt pulse through the floorboards, through the rubber soles covering your feet, and into your skin. That place was sealed behind a rusted metal frame and door, deadbolted and locked with a key he always carried on a chain through a belt loop.
It always jangled when he walked because he had a limp so bad that his entire leg always dragged a pace behind him and took a great amount of effort to haul forward. When you had asked of it, as memory dictated a handful of years prior he didn't have such trouble, he first claimed it had been a bad sinus infection that got into his brain and disrupted something neurologically. In another instance where he had stopped for a third time on an evening stroll together, he had said he scuffed with one of Cape Tellis’ formidable rats and the mangy bastard had won and taken a chunk of meat out of him before scuttling back into the walls.
“Just ignore it, it's normal that they're active this time of year,” he was saying while scraping fried eggs out of a pan onto your plate. Meanwhile, you winced to the usual commotion downstairs. “They get real flighty this time of year. The rats do. They get frisky and chase each other all around. I don't know nothin' about them besides being persistent, ugly things, but it may well be their special season.”
You ripped a sharp edge in your toast and prodded the egg yolk until the sunny orb burst, oozing out across your plate before you could scoop it all up in the bread.
“How long does it take for the rats to go away?” you asked with some interest in his answer, if for no other reason to know what sort of yarn he'd spin next. The bread was buttered, the eggs unseasoned, but you ate it all anyway while watching him. “Are they permanent residents or do they come and go? You must be feeding them if they stay here.”
Granduncle took a long time to situate his bad leg under the table, longer to arrange his silverware and the direction of his food. “Oh, they have no interest in leaving, I don't think. If they really wanted to, I imagine they would've jumped back into the water and swam somewhere else.”
Each time the noises rose up between the wood slats under your feet during breakfast, granduncle told you not to worry about it, but you quieted every sound in your head to better hear rattling metal, reverberations of some sort—like having a man’s deep, anguished moan pressed right against your ribs. You weren't sure what you were looking for when you listened, only that you knew they were rats.
Granduncle looked at you, his appetite pushed away towards the center of the table with his plate. “Let's go for a walk, yes? The rain won't come back for a few hours.”
When you did walk after a meal, granduncle would often have to lie down with his dead leg propped up on a short stack of pillows for a long while. It became something of a habit of yours to exert him too much after dinner, forcing him to keep up with your youthfulness—your merry prances and unburdened soul.
For what it was worth, he did the best he could to never be a hindrance. He didn't seem to fully understand his own limitations either, making it quite a simple thing to steal the key from his belt loop while he slept—deep and silent, so much so that you needed to drop a tissue over his face from make sure he was still breathing—and unfasten the lock to descend a set of slick, stone stairs.
There wasn’t much to at the bottom; a space half-flooded from seasonal rains raising the sea-level, old pieces of ship equipment hanging like ornamentation, an old folding chair that had yet to rust despite damp air, and a large hole in the ground that was dark like the throat of a nightmare envisioned in the most precious hours of night.
You held a plate of raw meat, freshly thawed from the freezer, outstretched with a flickering lantern in your other hand. Anywhere else, you'd have just brought a flashlight—but, he didn't like the bright lights, had ripped the last one out of your hands and smashed it against the wall. Oil lanterns were better tolerated, but he still seemed to cower from the gentle flickers.
So, you placed the meat on the seat of the folding chair and walked closer to the hole, wading a hand through seawater until touching braids of cold metal, chains pulled taut as though weighted down by an anchor. You gave the closest one a tug, always with the same caution as a child gripping his mother's clothes in uncertain times, and backed away.
He never made noise when he surfaced, always frightfully quiet, only indicated by a trail of bubbles that followed after where he roamed underwater. The first thing to emerge was a dorsal fin flared proudly from the middle of his head until midway in the deepest curve of his back. His eyes were on you, abysmal black things with a luster you likened to a landbound fish, and skin and scales that moved stiffly with his facial movements.
“You,” said the creature, toneless and in a voice far too raspy and deep to have an equal match amongst human men. “You have come. You are here.”
Months ago, he hadn't been capable of simple speech such as this. The noises he made were incompatible to anything you had ever heard—perhaps mere vocalizations he utilized underwater, possibly something long gone and archaic—but he had started mimicking you when you'd speak, and eventually you started slowing down, giving him the time to feel how the sounds vibrated in his own throat.
“I brought you food, again.” You gestured towards the seat with raw meat with your lantern, prompting his passing glance of interest before he was back on you. “Not hungry? He usually doesn’t feed you that well. I haven't been down here in a week or so, so I figured you'd be ready to scarf it down.”
“No.”
He came closer and the size of him grew, a towering figure with strong, broad-shoulders and a chest built to withstand the friction of the sea he used to own. His face, although hidden in darkness and flickering shadow cast from your lantern, gleamed as the light struck his iridescent scales. The shape of his lips were human-like yet taut, helping to comfortably fit his sharp teeth inside his mouth.
You'd wondered at times what exactly he was, what your granduncle believed him to be and feared so much to hide him away, chained to a wall. You fantasized that he could be the lost prince of some underwater civilization, or the offspring of several thousands of years of evolution between humans and something else.
He never seemed to understand you when you asked him what he was.
“Come,” his reach was limited by the chains that bound his limbs, keeping him shy of touching your body. “Come to me.”
With the lantern set aside, a distance you hoped wouldn't turn him petulant, you walked in his arms and the shackles and made home there as he surrounded you. His embrace was not the sort you could escape, nor was the kiss he pressed against your mouth.
There were parts of him you were too scared to touch, where his scales were like serrated teeth and he had much less control to retract at will like the dorsal find along his back. His lips were smooth and cold, however, a safe place for you to be on his body along with the hard flesh on his chest.
He pushed himself into your touch as your fingertips traced the shape of his torso, rose with the sprawl of his breasts and shoulders, molded into the ridges of his lower abdomen that you felt pulse and tense the further downward you roamed.
The sheath around his groin had swelled significantly and seemed to twitch when you smoothed your hand across it, kneading it gently to see what would come of doing so. You'd seen this only once before several months ago, a time where you'd been more frightened of him and fled from the basement for weeks when he'd acted more aggressive than usual.
It was one of the many things he had taken notice of that were perceived negatively—with fear and distance and shutting him away in this deep dark until you found the courage to feed him again, because your uncle was petrified along with being restricted in his ability to navigate the stairs with his lame leg.
So, he had learned to behave at the worst of times to keep food supplied, for you to stay wrapped up in him like this and so curious to challenge the extent of his self-restraint.
His kiss had grown full-bodied and restless and gone elsewhere on your body to a great expanse of skin. His face nuzzled into the fabric hiding your warmth from him, teeth tearing and fraying the threads that kept your clothes together until you stopped him.
“Stop—wait, wait, wait.” You walked back out of his arms once he was able to recognize the words. He reached for you despite the clattering bonds around his wrist, but you took your time to shuck the clothes from your body and fold them.
Once he had you back, he led you to the edge of the pool of endless depths and sank down inside of it. Your toes touched the very edge of darkness, stirring a rabble of butterflies in your gut that did not dissipate even once he resurfaced.
“Sit.” He gestured right at where you stood. “Sit down.”
The idea of having any part of your body submerged in the black water left you with little desire in continuing this, but you obeyed and slowly lowered your rear to the rim of the pool, legs speckled by goose pimples as the cold water gripped up to the inside of your thighs.
“Yes, good.” He was close enough to push your thighs wide apart and stick his tongue inside of you. You took in a great sucking breath, startled from the suddenness of it and the long, articulate appendage massaging a part of you in a way no one ever had before.
You leaned back on your arms when they weakened and shook from the sensations, eyes flicking towards the drab ceiling, wondering just how far under the living quarters of the lighthouse you actually were and whether granduncle would hear any lewd sounds that were beginning to hum in your throat.
“Keep going.” He said when you moaned, tongue retracted from your body to mimic the ministrations you made with your hand and fingers while you stroked yourself. “Keep doing it.”
He nudged your hand away to put his mouth over that stimulated spot instead, sucking and licking along you with such fervor that you dissolved into hard pants and whimpers, tempted to close your thighs around his head and push him away as the tight warmth inside of you flushed out with a kaleidoscopic burst of color and cool air following the trail of something slowly oozing out of you.
It took a second orgasm and chanting turned to cries to get him off of you. That brief respite ended when he took you by the waist and dragged you into the pool with him. By that point, you were too far spent to have anything but unshakeable indifference to the depths and the cold.
His kiss was as it had been before, rough and restless, forceful in a way that left you malleable and melting against him. Even when he had your front wedged between the rim of the pool and his chest, you couldn't bring yourself to react much.
You felt his thighs mold to the back of yours before the slim tip of his cock pushed into you, the girth of it thickening considerably at the base. The friction of the water wasn't an obstacle for him to fuck into you with greedy thrusts that threw your hips forward, knocking skin and bone against the wall of the pool.
“Oh, oh, oh, oh—” the ridges of his cock were an unusual feeling, catching your walls in spots, spreading you wider when he'd withdraw part way and plunge back inside. “Oh, shit—feels good. Harder. Harder. Harder!”
There was truly never any way to know how much he understood when you said it, something called into question when his thrusts slowed to a stop, but he stayed hard inside of you. For a moment, the water settled along with your heavy breaths and blood gushing through your ears.
Things slowly came back into focus—the dancing lantern light, the room temperature meat, the wicked water in which you were immersed to the waist while the rest of you was braced by him.
He shifted behind you, adjusting his thighs so yours went even wider. Before you could ask the things you wanted to, a new sensation stole your breath—the swollen head of a second cock, different in shape and size from the first, pushed into you and lay flush atop the other.
“Don't—don’t move.” You were struggling to do the same thing with such an enormous stretch you'd never had to accommodate before. Tension built in your throat, whether a sob or a scream or your own anxiety, and stayed there to cinch your voice into silence.
He soothed you with lips and teeth all over your flesh; the back of your neck, the cartilage of your ears and the underside of your jawbone. His large hands left the shelf of your hips and felt along your front side, nipples, chest, stomach, and groin where he tried to recreate the same pleasure on you now as you had done for yourself earlier.
“Good?” He nested his cocks deeper when he heard you moan. The pain of it was beginning to subside, but the strangeness of it remained. “Is it good?”
"Just—just don't hurt me.”
His hands were back on your hips to keep you seated on his thighs while he thrust into you. It wasn't as easy for him to move as it was before, perhaps realizing the limitations of a human companion, but continued in snappy pulses that made the water lap at the skin on your back and turned your thoughts into senseless, garbled things.
Soon enough, you were riding a sloppy, savage rhythm to which you had no control of whatsoever as he chased his end. In moments where he seemed to regress into a natural state, almost animalistic in the way he rutted into you and buried his cocks, one would slip out and go forgotten for a time. The length of it glided against your groin, a smooth motion underwater that prodded your sore spots before he was able to fit it back into place with the other.
Amid your luscious sounds were those of his own; labored, air-sucking rasps that rumbled from places more than just his throat. They were probably never meant to be heard above the surface of water, just as he didn't belong fucking a human while being chained to a wall.
You thought about that fact while the last thrusts he took seated his cocks so deep that you ached, hard surges of warmth flooding your insides in a way unexpectedly delightful. He clung to you with his arms and shackles even well after he had emptied himself in your body and retracted both cocks into their sheath.
After a while, he hoisted you out of the water and followed you to retrieve your clothes. He stopped short of the chains pulling in the wall, watching while you wiped away the remnants of him oozing down the backs of your thighs and redressed.
“Don't go.” He kissed you and let his cold lips linger over yours. “Stay here.”
You returned the affection as endlessly as he gave it, only thinking that sunrise would soon come to pull you apart.
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a/n: not my best work, but hopefully passable. it's really helpful when y'all reblog, so please do so!!!
I don't really have any comments on this because I'm starting over from zero on the long-fic of the aquatic monster story bc I hated what I had lmao.
anyway, please keep in mind that is a concept piece. chances are that none of this will be present in the actual long-fic. this just helps me to explore ideas and familiarize myself with characters.
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shadowandlightt · 2 days
Text
Of Nightmares and Memories | Eleven | Azriel x Rhys' little sister! Reader
Series Warnings: Kidnapping. Mistreatment. Cursing. Pining. Violence. Depression. Talks of suicide. Eventual smut
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten
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Shadows dance around you as you stand in the hall of the townhouse. You hadn’t stepped foot inside of it before. Hardly even paid any attention to it when you were little. You were sure Rhys had to have updated the interior. Because the townhouses on this block were nice, sure, but not nearly as cozy as this one seemed. 
Outside, the city was buzzing with life. So much so that it made you want to shrink away even further. Run to the mountains again, lock yourself away in the house of wind. Cassian and Azriel both resided there….you wouldn’t be alone. But you couldn’t face leaving Rhys, even if he had Feyre to worry about. 
First taking her to the prison, then taking her to the Weaver. He had to be insane. He wouldn’t clue you in on what was happening in the world, but you knew something had to be going on. He made mention of feeling safer once you were in Valaris, so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him. But you did hear him. And you would press him on it later. But now you needed to find your own footing again. 
“He had the twins set up a room for you,” Azriel said softly, hand gently resting on your shoulder, “No one can get in this house without permission, Rhys saw to that. And that includes me and Cass.” 
“Cassian,” You breathed out, suddenly remembering the man who was once like a second brother to you, “Where is he?” 
You spin around to face Az, and the door. There’s a look of surprise on Az’s face. The last time you saw Cassian, you’d punched him hard enough to break his nose. You had gotten into an awful fight with one another, that didn’t end until his blood was dripping on the floor. You remembered feeling a sense of satisfaction at the sight of him bleeding everywhere. 
“Sulking,” Az’s lips turned up slightly, “He wanted to go to summer, but he’s since been banned from the court for destroying a building or two.”
“He what?” You questioned, eyes darting back to meet his. 
“Story for another time.”
“Can you bring him here?” You question, not ready to fly at all, let alone to the House of Wind. 
“Why don’t we fly to him?” Az rose his eyebrows in a question. 
You shook your head, backing away from him just a step, “I don’t want to fly.” 
You didn’t want to summon your wings, something you hadn’t done since the day you were taken. You hadn’t allowed yourself that one pleasure, not when your mother’s wings were so cruelly cleaved from her body. Not when you had two long, thick, scars running down the length of your back from where Tamlin’s brothers cut into your flesh, thinking somehow they’d bring out the wings that were once there. 
“You don’t want to fly?” He questioned slowly, “You love to fly.” 
Your head shakes again as he tucks his wings impossibly tighter to his body, as if he was trying to hide them amongst the shadows that dwelled there. He didn’t know in full what happened to you, or at least you hoped he didn’t. You hoped his shadows hadn’t reported to him as it happened, only adding to the chaos of him trying to reach you in time. 
But by the time he made it to that clearing all that was left was two bodies hacked into pieces, one of your mother and one of your maid that accompanied you everywhere, and more blood than should have been possible. You could remember the way the grass was coated with it, soaking into the earth below. You wondered if it left a stain on that land. 
“Come back to me,” Az whispered, stepping towards you, “Leave all of that behind, and come back to me.”
“I’m right here, Az.” 
“Are you though?” He questioned softly, “Because I’m not so sure you are.”
You shiver with the memories that keep flooding your head. The sound of his voice as he begged you to be strong, that he would be there soon. 
Breathe, you had to remind yourself. Breathe, you’re free again. You’re home in Valaris, you’re with Azriel, and he would never let anything bad happen to you as long as you’re with him. You knew that in your very bones. But it didn’t make this any easier. 
Little Star?
Rhys’ voice made you jump, forgetting for a moment that you could still speak to one another. It seemed strange having him in your head after so long apart, you hadn’t even noticed the feeling of his mental claws gently stroking your mind. 
I’m okay. I promise Rhys. 
Az doesn’t seem to think so.
You roll your eyes, fighting the urge to send a vulgar gesture down the line back to Rhys. Instead you flopped down in a near by chair. 
Az needs to mind his own business for once. 
Go flying with him. Please.
Go tell Feyre she’s your mate, dear brother, and I’ll think about it. 
He retracted from your mind with that. The feeling of him being gone left you feeling utterly empty. You’d forgotten what it felt like to have someone else in your mind, how full you felt. Full of life, full of thought. Full of emotion and oftentimes joy. 
“Don’t rat me out to my brother,” You grumble at Azriel. 
“I’m just worried,” He admits, stepping to sit on the edge of the chair across from you. 
“You have no reason to worry,” You try to convince him, acting as if you’re brushing off some dirt from your shoulder. 
“I think I have every reason,” He said so softly you almost didn’t hear him, “Why won’t you come flying with me?” 
You shake your head again, “If you witnessed what I did that day, you wouldn't want to fly either.”
Her screams echoed in your ears. Terror ripped through your bones again, no matter how hard you tried to fight it. You remind yourself again and again that you’re safe, and free, and home. Because this place felt more like a home than the House of Wind ever did.  
“You weren’t there, you couldn’t understand,” You told him quietly. 
“Don’t remind me that I failed you, Y/N.”
“You didn’t fail me.”
“I didn’t make it to you in time,” He replies, “I failed you in that way, and in every way after for the last few hundred years. I gave up on you.”
“Everyone did,” You simply shrugged, “I even gave up. I don’t blame you for what happened that day.”
The sound of mighty wings cut off any reply that Azriel could have, before the door was being shoved open and Cassian came quite literally running inside. His hair was half up in a messy bun, dripping with sweat. His shirt was haphazardly thrown on, like he’d been in the throws of training when someone, probably Rhys, told him to get his ass down to the townhouse. He looked around, chest heaving with every breath. He wasn’t out of shape, no he was far from that. But you’d watched him train before, you knew how hard he worked. And you could imagine he was panicked, just by the look on his face. 
He dropped the broadsword he held in his hand, staggering forward a few steps. You gently stood, not wanting to spook him. But he already looked as if he’d seen a ghost, and maybe he had. Because you certainly felt like a ghost of who you’d once been. A ghost of the person that used to laugh alongside Cassian at everything. 
“Y/N?” His voice broke, “Brother, what kind of trick is this?” He turned his full attention to Azirel, demanding answers. 
Azriel said nothing though, only inclining his head towards you. A silent confirmation. Tears filled the general’s eyes as he looked you over, trying to reconcile the girl he once knew when the women standing before him. 
Your own eyes glossed over as you watched him. He shook slightly, so slightly it could’ve been missed, if you weren't paying so close attention to him. He surged forward, so quickly he was nothing more than a blur of dark hair and wings as he scooped you up in his arms, pulling you from the ground. He held you as tightly as he possibly could, sobs leaving his body. You couldn’t stop your own sobs as they shook your whole body. Clutching onto him, you breathed in his scent. Something distinctly Cassian and the smell of sweat. Truthfully, he reeked and needed a bath. 
“How are you alive?” He cried, not so discreetly, “We helped Rhys bury your body.” 
“No, you didn’t. That’s what they wanted you to think,” You try to explain, “It was Michaa that you buried.” 
“But-” 
“Don’t grill her on this, Cass,” Azriel warned, finally speaking. 
Cassian set you down and held you at arm’s length, finally really looking you over. You’d grown taller since the last time he saw you. He assumed in another life, you would've been fuller too, but you still looked gaunt even after a while away from the spring court. Your hair was longer and darker, much like Rhys’. Your eyes weren’t as bright as they once were, but the light was slowly coming back to them. You were slowly coming back to life. 
“I missed you, Cassi,” You sniffed, knowing how much he hated that nickname when you were children. But you couldn’t say Cassian when you first met him. 
“Cauldron boil me,” He groans out, using the back of his hand to wipe at his eyes, “I never thought I’d hear you call me that again.”
“I need a drink,” He says suddenly, making his way into the kitchen, “Az?” 
“Pour me one too.” Az nods his head, sinking into the chair once more. 
He looked older, and yet just as young as you’d seen him the last time. But with the way he held himself, you could tell that he’d seen many horrors in the hundreds of years that you’d been gone. He’d dealt with too much. 
“Me too,” You agree, sinking into your own chair, feeling the weight pulling you down. 
“You aren’t old enough,” Was Cassian’s quick response. 
You raise an eyebrow at him in challenge, “I’m old enough to fuck, therefore I’m old enough to drink.” 
Both males cringe, eyes going wide, wings flaring. You groan out, realizing what you’d just said. You were sure Rhys had figured it out already, why you smelled so much like Lucien when he saw you on Firenight. Why you still smelled faintly like the male.
“I’ll get it myself,” You push yourself up again and push past Cassian, “Territorial male bastards.” 
Both males follow you into the kitchen as you grab for the decanter tucked on the corner of the counter. The room feels almost too small with both of them and their wings closing in on you. You felt trapped again. 
“Who,exactly, were you fucking?” Azriel asked with cold precision. 
“None of your business, Shadowsinger.” You snap back, downing the knuckles’ worth of alcohol. 
Shadows swirl angrily around you. Some listening to Az, some listening to you. The fought one another, colliding in the middle of the kitchen in a black patch. Cassian’s wings were flared wide muscles tensing. 
“You know I can find out,” Az warns. 
“Can you?” You question, “Because you didn’t even know I was alive for the past few hundred years. How are you supposed to find out anything when you couldn’t even do that?” 
You could physically see the moment the words settled down in him. He jerked back as if you’d hit him, wings suddenly snapping in tight to his body. Even Cassian took a step back. You swallowed, feeling bad for throwing that back in his face. You tried to step towards him, but he only backed out of the doorway and made for the front entrance, slamming the door behind him. You heard the beat of wings a moment later. 
“That was a low blow,” Cass warned you, “Even for you, Y/N.” 
Even for you…because you used to fight with Cass and Rhys, viciously, but never with Az. You never felt the need to fight with him, because he was always on your side. He always seemed to understand you. He knew how far to push you. You, however, pushed him too far this time. 
You could feel yourself sink. Head hung low as you looked at the glass in your hands. You didn’t know how to be around people anymore. It seemed odd, being free again. Being back with your family, even though Rhys and Amren were gone in Summer with Feyre. You longed for Mor, who seemed to have made herself scarce, knowing you’d need time to sort out yourself. You wished she wouldn’t have left you alone with the boys though. You were making a complete mess out of everything.
“ Cass, I-” 
“Don’t apologize to me,” He shook his head, “Find Az and apologize to him. He beat himself up for centuries for not making it to you in time. I seem to think he’ll blame himself until the day he dies.” 
“I don’t know how to do this anymore,” You admit to him, so softly you aren’t sure if he hears. 
He’s quiet for a time, so very quiet that you can hardly make out the sound of him breathing, “Do what, Little one?” He finally questions. 
The sound of the name that only he called you, brings tears to your eyes. You curl in on yourself, wrapping your arms around you like a protective barrier. Cassian’s dark eyes softened at the sight, his wings drooping slightly. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as you thought of how broken Azriel must feel. It made your chest feel as if it was going to break in two. 
“I don’t know how to live anymore,” You reply, utterly defeated. 
“C’mere,” He opens his arms wide for you, dark eyes shining. You step into his arms, feeling their strength wrap around you. For a moment you feel safe again, like the little girl he once knew, “We’ll figure this out, I promise. We won’t let you down again.” 
“You didn’t let me down the first time,” You promised him, “But I think I might be too broken to fix.”
“No, no one is too broken.”
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drjholtzmann · 3 days
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this is dreamling more than dead boy detectives but it's been in my head since reading issue #25 after s1 of sandman. so, now feels like a good time to release it into the world. i just want them all to get in each others way
(season of mists spoilers)
------------
It’s not often that Hob smokes. It’s an expensive habit, and secondhand smoke and all that. But it’s hardly going to kill him, so he’s usually got an ancient pack on hand somewhere. Handy, especially in situations like this. Not that there’s ever been a situation like this before but, well. You live long enough. 
He slips out into the beer garden of the pub, lighting up almost absent mindedly, the action still muscle memory. 
“What the fuck,” he mutters, rubbing his thumb along his lower lip, “what the fuck. Dream, if you have bloody anything to do with this, I swear to god, Morpheus. What the fucking fuck.” He closes his eyes, lets his head fall back against the brickwork. Despite it all he huffs an exhausted laugh. Because sure. Of course. Yeah, why not. Of course this would happen. “Jesus Christ, Morpheus. Even if this isn’t you, bloody… fucking wish I could just ask.” It’s all said barely above a whisper. Just in case. Always just in case. He blindly ashes his cigarette and heaves out a heavy breath, “Lord above,” he scoffs, raising the cigarette to his lips again. 
“Hob?”
Hob startles, eyes snapping open, head knocking back sharply against the brick. “Fuck – ow – Dream?” He raises his free hand to rub the back of his head, wincing slightly. “That, uh… that worked better than expected.” 
“You were calling for me?”
“Yeah… sorta. I didn’t… think it worked like that. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You did not. I had thought briefly of you.” 
“Oh, yeah?” Hob grins. “How come? You miss me already?”
Morpheus sends him a withering look. 
“I, um… dreamt of you. While ago. Was that – real?”
“It was.”
He nods, thumb nervously tapping the filter of his cigarette. “Uh huh. Figured. With the wine, and…” he trails off. The hollow feeling of that dream, or rather, of that waking coming back to him in full force. “You said some ominous shit. Then I said some ominous shit. Was that real, too?”
Morpheus nods solemnly. 
“Right. Don’t suppose you’ll explain that?” Morpheus remains silent. “Right. Course not. Things okay, though? Now? I mean,” he gestures to his friend, “you’re here. That must be good, yeah?”
“Yes. And no.”
“Great. Fab.”
“What I thought I was facing has… changed.”
“...’kay. Well, can I ask you a question?”
Morpheus pauses but, after a moment, nods.
“S’it got anything to do with the dead kids hanging out in my pub?”
“What?”
“Yeah, couple of boys who look like they should definitely be in school – about, oh, fifty years ago. At least.”
Morpheus’ eyes don’t actually widen in alarm, but there is something to that effect happening… not quite in his expression, but in his aura, perhaps. Hob gets the feeling that if he were a cat the fur along his spine would be standing on end. 
“So… it is related?” 
“Perhaps.”
“Definitely, then.” Hob takes a short puff of his cigarette. 
“Show me?” 
“Uh… I don’t know if they know that people can see them. I don’t know if people who aren’t me can see them, actually. So just, um…” the caution dies in his throat as he realises who it is he’s talking to. Morpheus will do what he will, Hob’s advice be damned. 
Dream draws close, peering in through the windowpane of the door back into the pub. “How do you know?”
“You get pretty good at feeling when things are off once you’ve been around the block six hundred years or so. Also, they walked in through the closed front door. As in, passed right through the solid wood and glass.”
“I see.”
“Why are they here?” 
“To sample your fine selection of craft beer, perhaps?”
“Oh, he’s joking,” Hob has joined his side in peering not-so-surreptitiously through the door. “‘Mortal plane’ here, not here-here.”
“Death must have been busy… It is not like her to leave a job unfinished without good reason.”
“Must’ve…? What the fuck could be so horrific that Death is being kept busy?”
Morpheus, beside him, is silent. Deadly still. And it tells Hob all he needs to know. 
“Dream,” he hisses, “what the fuck is this? What’s going on?”
There is a long pause. “I ought not to tell you.” Dream murmurs, still facing the glass panel of the door.
“And I ought not have two dead teenagers in my pub. All things relative.” 
“They are causing no harm.”
“I don’t doubt that. It’s you I’m worried about now.”
“Your concern is of no use. What I mean is that they are no poltergeists, not aggressive, there seems to be nothing demonic about them.”
“Which means… there are poltergeists and demons running about at the mo?”
“I told you, I ought not say. There are diplomatic proceedings to take place.”
“You get that that makes even less sense, yeah?”
Dream seems to, at last, with an almighty eye roll, give in. “Hell is closed,” he hisses, turning to face Hob directly. 
“Hell is closed.” Hob repeats back, dumbfounded. “And that means… The devils are all here?”
“Precisely.”
“But the boys… aren’t devils?”
“They are not.”
“Okay. That’s good news. And the devils?”
Dream shrugs, sharp and languid. “Anywhere. Everywhere.”
“Great. Okay. Less good. Very much less good. So, uh. What… do I do? Am I supposed to exorcise them? Because, I have to be honest – would really rather not do that.” 
“You are under no obligations.”
“Oh.” 
“They could not be here without Death’s knowledge or her say-so. She will come for them in time.”
“Oh.” Inexplicably, Hob’s heart sinks a little.
“They are not alive, Hob.” Dream says, looking him in the eye. “They cannot live forever as the dead.” 
“Hm. Yeah. S’pose.” He looks through the windowpane at the two boys, chatting animatedly at a corner table out of the way. “They’re just kids, though. Barely got a normal life.”
“You cannot save them, Hob.”
“Why not?”
“You cannot. They may not be destined for Hell, but that doesn’t mean they can stay amongst the living.” 
“Says who?”
“The universe. Death, herself.”
Hob smirks, tilting his head down a fraction to look up at Dream from under a quirked brow. “You know what I think of Death.”
And Hob catches the tension at the corner of Dream’s mouth that he knows, whatever he might say to the contrary, is a suppressed smile. 
“C’mon, what if I just help ‘em live a little? While they’re here?”
“Hob.”
“What?! Can’t a guy be nice?”
“I have meetings to attend to.”
“That’s not a no.” 
“I think it a poor choice to flaunt immortality in front of two who have died so young. I would caution against it.”
“Okay. Fuck, fair point. But they don’t have to know about me. They wouldn’t somehow know, right?”
“I would caution against it, Hob Gadling.”
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seospicybin · 14 hours
Text
TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART IV
Hyunjin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (13,8k words)
Author's note: Enjoy the last, LAST chapter of THTH8 and the final season of THTH. 🥲
"The person leaving the retreat is Hyunjin."
The first thing Hyunjin does is check for you, he cares for your feelings more than his own. He's crushed hearing his name being called out but he can't imagine how it feels for you.
The whole you both standing next to each other, you've been putting a brave face on yet you break into tears the moment he pulls you into his hug.
"You have continued to put your physical urges before emotional connections," Lana says.
He's hugging you so tight because it will be the last time for him to do so until you both meet again, perhaps, outside of the retreat.
"It's okay. I'll be outside there, waiting for you," he assures you, rubbing your back and kissing the top of your head.
"Trust me," he convinces you with a tender caress on your cheek.
He has to let go of you to bid farewell to everyone else, his heart is getting heavier for every moment he shares with these people rushes through his head as he gives them a goodbye hug. In the end, he doesn't even remember the bad, he only remembers the good ones.
"Hyunjin, please leave the retreat," Lana says.
He walks back to you for the last goodbye, he wipes the tears rolling down both of your cheeks while putting on a smile for you even though his heart is breaking for not being able to be with you to the end of the retreat.
He kisses your forehead and fondly holds you by the jaw, "I'll see you soon, okay baby?"
You nod with your eyes red and pooling with tears, not able to say anything back to him without breaking into tears again.
"I'll see you soon," he says again with another kiss on your cheek.
He takes a few steps away and then turns around to look at everyone for the last time, like it or not, he finds friends in them and thanks them in his heart for the memories he'll cherish for life.
Especially you, thank you to the lovely and the achingly beautiful you.
With a bittersweet smile, Hyunjin turns around and then leaves.
-
HYUNJIN: I feel like I've already won with her but at the same time, I've got to go, [heavily sighs] leave this retreat without her.
-
With your eyes blurry with tears and your knees trembling, you wouldn't make it to the bedroom without Edie's help. "Come lay down," she says, guiding you to your bed and helping you get onto it.
She then sits on the edge of the bed, puts a pillow on her lap, and lets you rest your head on it.
"Oh, my God. I can't believe this," someone else says with a shaky voice and you can tell that it's Vic.
There are so many hands rubbing your back as you keep crying, sobbing into the pillow.
To say that your heart aches from Hyunjin's departure would be an understatement. It feels like someone has stabbed you right in the heart and twisted the knife over and over again.
"Hyunjin's gone," you croak in between your cries, saying those words only makes it unbearably painful.
You roughly wipe your eyes open and can finally see the girls gathering around you, offering their presence and their comfort to you.
"And I can't do anything about it," you croak then drop your head onto the pillow and sob again.
Edie comforts you by softly patting your head and putting away the hair stuck to your wet cheeks.
"Oh, God..." you breathlessly sigh while clutching your chest, "I'm going to miss so much."
"I know," Edie says, wiping the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes.
Vic finds your hand and squeezes it so tight, she knows she can't help you with anything but being here for you.
"It's going to be okay," a voice says behind you and you look over your shoulder to see Saskia there, landing tender caresses on your back.
How is it going to be okay when your heart breaks into smithereens and Hyunjin takes the pieces away with him? How is it going to be okay when you feel like you're losing a part of yourself? Are you going to be okay at all?
-
YOU: Obviously, I thought I would have more time with him [sniffles]
-
In the morning, your heart breaks all over again.
Waking up alone on your bed not only reminds you of your heartbreak but also reminds you that it's real, he really is gone and yesterday was not a dream.
The pain is there, telling you that it's all real.
You drag yourself up and sit with your back against the headboard, and have a sip of water as if it would lessen the stinging pain in your chest.
Noticing that your eyes are blank and looking sad, Edie jumps onto your bed, snuggling up to you and putting her long arm across your chest.
"I'm so happy that you stayed," she mumbles.
Her words warm your heart, and you respond with a caress on her forearm and a smile.
The bed creaks as someone else joins the two of you, also cuddling you from the other side of the bed.
"All of us are happy that you stayed," Saskia says, correcting Edie's earlier remark.
"We'll have the most amazing time," she mutters to you.
It already feels weird waking up without Hyunjin but that doesn't mean you're closed yourself off from having fun.
"Okay?" Edie asks, her big eyes looking right into you.
And it's not fair for other people to have to deal with your somber mood which indirectly affects them too.
"Okay," you answer with a nod and a smile.
It's sweet that they're making sure that you don't feel alone or left out in the retreat. Your partner may have gone but you've been given a chance to continue your journey and time to progress.
"Thank you," you mutter to both of them with a grateful smile.
Edie nuzzles her head further into the crook of your neck, "I love you," she cutely mumbles.
After all, you're not alone on this journey of self-discovery, you have these people you're sharing the journey with.
-
YOU: I'm thankful that these girls are so supportive. I think everyone here has been very kind and wonderful, I'm lucky.
-
It does feel weird being here without Hyunjin.
He'd always find you when he has nothing to do and vice versa, and when you're not together, you would find him in just a turn of your head, not far from your sight. You feel each other's presence whenever one of you enters the room.
The connection you have with him is one-of-a-kind, one that you haven't had with someone in a long time.
If he were still here, you wouldn't be alone for the upcoming workshop this afternoon. It has a nice setting with the sunset in the background and every couple has a table for themselves, you end up third-wheeling Remy and Saskia.
There's a cooking station set in front of everyone and not long after, someone enters while waving her hands high at everyone.
"Hello, my loves," she cheerfully greets everyone.
Everyone welcomes her with a round of applause and some cheers. She looks vibrant in her colorful outfit and pink bandana, a smile never wears off her face as she stands in front of everyone for her introduction.
"My name is Rita and I'm a chef," she announces.
"I'm here to teach you how to heat things up," she pauses as his eyebrow raises in intrigue, "and cook."
Rita looks like someone who gets along with everyone just fine, she has that happy-go-lucky vibe going and an infectious smile.
"But I know all of you are more interested in the heating things up part," she says, having some wits in her too.
-
YOU: I like Rita. She's such a sweet person. She brought a wonderful energy.
-
The previous workshops were about touching, sexual energy, emotional connection, and now, cooking which is great that you get to experience something different, completely new but not less helpful and educative.
"I think when you cook for someone, it's a sign that they're nurturing their love for them. Nobody cooks for people they don't like, right?" Rita says as she walks around to see everyone face to face.
"Well, unless you plan to poison them," she jokingly adds.
You're not great at cooking but if you have to rate your skill, you can safely say it's average, below average even so it's nice that you have the chance to improve that skill.
"I also think it's important to know that when we cook, we also add our energy, our passion, our love to it."
You find yourself nodding and agreeing to her words, because everything comes back to the intention of why you do something in the first place, if you do it out of love, that person will feel it.
"Seducing through food is a great ace to have up to your sleeve," Rita says with a sly smile, making everyone giggle in response.
She walks back to her cooking station and gets behind it, she puts her hands on the shiny surface to continue talking.
"Me personally, I would fall in love with someone who says something like 'I'm cooking for you today," she says.
Rita starts by taking bowls of ingredients she has prepared and puts them on top of the station. She then scans everyone and her eyes stop at Vic and Edouard's table.
"Come here, you, love!" She points at Edouard.
Edouard looks around thinking that she's talking to someone else and awkwardly gets up from his seat once Vic assures that it's him who got called to the front. He gets picked to cook the appetizer with Rita.
"I will teach you to cook for her," Rita tells him, "Something delicious like you."
She's making Edouard stirring the ingredients she puts inside the big salad bowl all the while explaining the process to everyone.
"We need something crunchy," she says, walking to the back to get something.
She then returns with a bowl of peanuts and puts some into the salad bowl, "You know what? Peanuts make you horny."
Edouard chuckles as he carefully tosses the salad, "We can't get horny here," he says.
"Oops! More peanuts then," Rita cheekily adds more peanuts into the bowl.
Once they finish, they plate it together and have Edouard deliver it to everyone's tables. It tastes sweet and sour, so refreshing, and what you love the most is the whole texture of it. Rita is definitely making it easy for everyone because even if you followed the recipe and everything, there's no guarantee that it'll taste this good.
For the main course, you get the honor to cook it with Rita. You're more than glad to make yourself useful and put your mind off things, and also to let Remy and Saskia have the table for themselves.
The first thing you do as you get behind the cooking station is check the ingredients and try to guess what Rita is going to cook with them.
"Why are you by yourself?" She asks you.
You politely chuckle and answer, "Lana sent my man home."
"Why?" She curiously asks.
"We spent too much money," you shyly reveal.
"How much?"
You never really calculated how much money you've spent until she asks you, "About 70 grand?" You give her a rough calculation.
Rita lets out a gasp and her eyes widen in surprise like a cartoon character, "Girl, what did you do?" She asks with a gentle shove at your shoulder.
"Spicy stuff, mostly," you playfully respond.
She takes your hands and holds them as she looks at you, "You look like a good girl but you're pretty naughty, huh?"
You nod, admitting her words with a shy laugh.
Rita is a great teacher, she gets you through each step with so much patience and you try your best to keep up with her as she tosses ingredients as she pleases. She checks the food once in a while to make sure it's well-seasoned and thoroughly cooked.
"What's the key ingredient in all food?" She asks you out of the blue.
You have to stop stirring the sauce on the pan to think of an answer, you're torn between a philosophical answer and a forthright answer.
"Love?" You settle on the former.
Rita's smile wavers a little, "I was thinking salt but yeah, okay, that too," she jokes.
You continue with the cooking while everyone else laughing at your answer but you don't feel offended at all, if anything, it feels good to make them laugh.
"Love means salt in food," Rita says as she adds a pinch into the saucepan.
You finish your task by delivering plates of food to everyone while Andy and Remy deliver cocktails they made together.
Once you're done, you come back to your seat at the table and have a bite of the food you cooked. It tastes better than you imagined, it's even better because you cooked it, and somewhat rewarding.
-
YOU: I think we can apply a lot of what we've got in this workshop to our lives. I really believe that when you cook for your partner, they can feel what you're trying to express to them.
-
Since Edie is a vegan, Rita calls her to the front to cook her meal together while everyone is busy having their main course.
"I know you're vegan so I'm making something special for you," she says to her.
"Thank you," Edie sweetly mutters.
"Everyone deserves to eat. How could I leave you out?" Rita kindly says.
Frida is handed the task of preparing the desserts for everyone and gets to decorate the plates together with Rita. As for you, you just can't wait to have a taste of it because it looks so appetizing.
When the dessert finally gets to you, it's so beautifully plated that you don't want to ruin it, but at the same time, you can't wait to dig into it.
"Can I save some for later?" Saskia asks Rita who's watching everyone eating her food well.
You take a moment to look at everyone to see how everyone is truly enjoying their food and you believe it's because Rita cooked it with her positive energy, passion, and love as she said.
This one made it to one of the most memorable moments in the retreat.
Seeing that everyone is close to finishing their desserts, Rita gets to the front of the station and clasps her hands together in front of her.
"I'm here to talk to you about love and one of the most sublime lessons I've learned in life is to spread all the love I have inside," she says with a smile.
She looks at everyone from left to right and continues talking, "Some people paint, some people dance, some people sing, well, I... I cook. I found myself like this, and I think finding ourselves is a good part of life," she says.
Everything she said is so heartwarming that you find yourself smiling listening to her talking which is exactly what you need after a torturous day you've had yesterday.
"This is the only one of many beautiful moments you'll have from now on, whether it's around the kitchen, on the dining table, or lying on a bed," she says with a grin.
Rita takes a breath before continuing, "After all, the best thing in life is to love and be loved."
Everyone is applauding in agreement to her words and simply in gratitude for the food, and this valuable workshop she shared with everyone.
"See you, lovely people," she concludes the workshop with a hand kiss at everyone and her infectious smile of hers.
-
YOU: Food definitely brings people together. Everyone was laughing, everyone was interacting. They're enjoying the food and the company they're with.
-
The villa is empty since the couples are being sent on dates. Remy and Saskia left this afternoon, then Vic and Edouard left not long after them while Diego and Frida will leave later.
The rest of us are hanging out in the swimming pools and enjoying most of the retreat since it's getting close to its end.
"How are you feeling?" Andy asks, brushing his wet, blond hair to the back.
"Well, it comes and goes, you know," You turn over to lay on your back and stack your hands under your chin.
It's hard not to miss Hyunjin when you used to spend most of your days with him in every part of this villa. The pain comes whenever something reminds you of him and it goes when you remember his promise that he'll be outside waiting for you.
That's how your day goes with pain that comes and goes like the waves.
While waiting for everyone else to come back from their dates, you're getting ready for a party Lana is throwing tonight, probably the last one in the villa.
You're about to do your hair when you see Vic and Edouard coming into the room, holding hands and smiling ear to ear.
"Oh, my God!" Edie squeals in reaction to their return.
You put down your hairdryer and look at them, "How was your date, guys?"
Emilie abruptly stops curling her hair and joins in to grill the couple with questions, "Tell us everything!"
"We went on a boat, we had fun cocktails and talked," Edouard answers.
"It was romantic with the sunset in the back," Vic adds another detail.
Edouard glances at Vic before continue talking and licks his lips, "It seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask her something," he says.
Edie is flapping her hands in excitement, kind of guessing where the talk leads to.
"What did you ask?" Andy asks with his shirt hanging loosely on his shoulders.
"I asked her to be my girlfriend," Edouard answers with a big smile.
The girls are cooing in unison but you quickly hush them since the story isn't finished yet.
"And what did you say, Vic?"
Vic can't contain her happiness, she breaks into a wave of giggles and nods, "I said yes."
Cheers erupt in the room and everyone comes to the couple to congratulate them on their relationship.
"I've fallen for him so badly," Vic shyly admits.
Edouard is gushing hearing her sudden confession and pulls her close to his side. He then remembers something that he hasn't shared with everyone, "We also got a green light!"
As someone who has seen them from day one, you must admit that they've come a long way and you couldn't be happier for them. At the same time, it's hard to not get jealous of them, and even harder not to think of Hyunjin in a time like this.
-
YOU: I'm very happy for them but obviously, the only thing on my mind is Hyunjin. I just miss him so much [sighs]
-
Andy leads the toast to start the party, making everyone raise their glasses in the air, and shouts Lana's name out loud at the count of three.
"Here's for Lana!"
"Lana!" Everyone shouts and collectively takes a sip of wine.
You allow yourself to soak in this moment for you couldn't get it anywhere else, and these people you thought were strangers at first, now become your friends that you'll cherish for a long time.
It would be a lot more meaningful if you get to finish it with Hyunjin but alas, you're proud of yourself nonetheless to be able to get to the endpoint. You decide to sit the rest of the party and watch everyone dancing to the blaring music while quietly sipping your drink.
Frida joins you and leans in to ask you against the loud music playing, "How are you doing, my darling?"
You swallow your drink first to answer her, "I'm having a good time with everyone but I can't lie, I miss him."
Frida smiles and nods, "I can see that."
Everyone knows you're not good at hiding your feelings so it comes as no surprise that she can see it, "But it's normal, right? If anything it shows that my feelings for him are deep and real."
"Of course!" She shortly replies.
"I think about him and the memories we could've had. He's not only my partner, but he's also my best friend like... I don't even think about the physical stuff anymore. I genuinely miss him," you openly share with her.
You miss his cute morning greeting, you miss having conversations with him, you miss listening to his random ideas and you simply miss being around him. You miss him with your whole heart.
Someone lets out a scream and you almost jump on your seat, Frida is as startled too. Then everyone looks in the direction of the stairs that leads down to the beach and you turn your head to see someone appears.
"Who is that?" Edie asks in a panic.
No one can see who it is with the mysterious person wearing a hooded black cape and looking down to hide his face. The figure keeps walking and stops in front of everyone, slowly revealing himself by pulling his hood down.
"Oh my goodness!" You let out a loud gasp in reaction to his return.
It's really him, it's Hyunjin and he's coming back.
-
YOU: This is one of the happiest moments in my entire life. And he just looks so good in all black.
-
Hyunjin is ecstatic to see everyone's reaction to his return, especially you. You light up the second he reveals that it's him and you come running to him, throwing your arms around him to welcome him with a tight, warm hug.
He lifts you off the ground and holds you just as tight, feeling his heart getting less heavier the longer he holds you.
Realizing that there are other people, he slowly puts you down to give everyone else a hug as well.
"I can't believe it!" Edie exclaims, jumping on her feet while hugging you from the side.
Andy is still in disbelief as well, he roughly brushes his hair to the back and asks, "Are you staying, bro?"
"Yeah. Tell us what is going on?" Frida hesitantly asks.
Hyunjin uses the opportunity to explain what happened to him after he got sent home by Lana that day.
"As I got kicked out of the retreat, Lana decided to give me a second chance," he says.
"I went through a one-on-one workshop. It was intense but I learned so much about myself and it'll help me moving forward," he pauses in the middle to look at you, "especially with you."
You brightly smile as he points at you and you come to his side, hugging him with eyes that flicker as you look at him.
"Which is why I'm here," he says to everyone.
-
HYUNJIN: I'm back, baby! [Grins]
-
Hyunjin is glad to be back here.
He has had to work on himself, he changed his outlook on things but the biggest thing he's taking from the entire experience is that he has a genuine connection with you.
You take him by the hand to the bedroom to have some privacy so you can comfortably catch up with each other.
"You're back," you happily exclaim as you enter the bedroom.
You turn around on your feet and look at him, "Can't believe you're back," you say again.
He takes your other hand and pulls you into a hug, "I'm here baby," he assures you that his presence is real and not just your imagination.
"I missed you," you mutter with a long sigh, a sigh that lets out all of your worries and restlessness.
"Missed you too, baby," he mutters back. In fact, he never missed someone this much in his entire life.
You both stay like that for a moment until he takes you to sit on your shared bed. He endearingly brushes your hair to the side and holds the side of your face.
"How are you?" He softly asks.
"I felt like grieving a death these past couple of days," you answer with a sad pout, "what about you? You need to fill me in about everything."
"That day... So many emotions going through me. Confusion, anger, there was so much that I can't even explain it to you," he replies, letting out a sigh that describes how overwhelmed he was that day when Lana sent him home.
"Let me tell you when I was away, I missed everyone," he says, lacing his hand together with you on his lap, "but you were on my mind 24/7."
There wasn't a moment where Hyunjin didn't think of you, it was what kept him going and eventually earned his way back here.
A smile rises on your face and oh, how he missed it, that smile cures all of his sorrow away and replaces it with something that wraps his heart warmly.
"I'm so happy you're here," you say to him with a blissful smile that shows him how much you meant those words.
You crash yourself at him, burying your face in his chest as he hugs you close while putting soft kisses on the top of your head.
You look up at him and smile with your eyes closed, "It still feels like a dream to me."
The melodic chime shatters the tender moment and Hyunjin immediately breaks the hug to face the cone.
"What's up, Lana?" He asks the cone. He glances at you and you give him a puzzled look in return.
"Hyunjin, through your one-on-one workshop, you were able to access your true feelings about your partner, proving to me that your connection is more than skin deep," Lana says.
Hyunjin nods and keeps holding your hand on his lap as he intently listens to what Lana is saying.
"However, actions speak louder than words. Which is why you will both be put to the ultimate test."
Of course, the thought of being put into another test makes him nervous because the last time he had it, he lost everything. This time he's sure will be different, he has learned to control his urges and is more prepared now.
"A night alone in the suite."
However, a test is a test and it's not going to be easy.
"While I was absent, the total sum of your rule breaks was $90,000," Lana informs, "If you refrain from breaking the rules tonight, you will win back all the money for the group."
Finding out how much his reckless act costs him that night at the suite, he realizes how selfish and how big of a mess he made for the group. Now, he's given the chance for redemption and he has to take it.
He looks at you and says, "Time to repay our debt."
"I have gathered the rest of the group at the cabana. You must now tell them of your challenge," Lana orders.
He takes a deep breath and answers her, "Challenge accepted, Lana!"
-
HYUNJIN: It's going to be the hardest test for me but will all the stuff I've gone through in the workshops, I'll show how much I've improved myself.
-
As Lana said, everyone has gathered in the cabana and waiting for both of you. It feels so awkward standing facing everyone, it's like he's trying to admit a crime he hasn't even committed yet
"We have news for you guys," you start the talk.
Hyunjin takes his turn to continue while steadily holding your hand, "Basically, Lana told us that we've got a night at the suite," he announces.
He can see that they don't take the news well because the last time you and he were in that suite, all hell broke loose so why the final test has to be held there he guesses is what everyone reckons.
"This is the final test," he says, emphasizing the importance of it, "If we pass this Lana will give back $90,000 to the prize fund."
Everyone is cheering at the mention of how much money will be gained from it but the key to success here lies in whether you both pass the test or not.
"Lord, help us all..." Diego sighs loud enough for him to hear it.
He understands that some people are still skeptical about him if the workshops really worked on helping him with his physical urges. But that's the motivation he needs, it encourages him to prove them wrong.
"The only way to make you guys proud is to pay you guys back," he says.
"That's right," Remy says, nodding along to his words.
You look at him before looking back to everyone, "Wish us the best of luck?"
No one says anything and it's getting awkward with each passing second goes in silence.
"Well, we've got nothing left now so please, do us proud," Andy says, representing everyone as he said it.
You look at each other at the same time that you both crack into laughter, he takes your hand and waves bye at everyone to leave for the private suite.
"Oh, yay! We get to go to suite again," you lowly exclaim and giggle.
-
HYUNJIN: It'd be nice to pay the debt to everyone but when I'm with her, the tension goes... [whistles] through the roof.
-
It feels like a dream still that Hyunjin is here.
The second you enter the private suite, you turn around and hug him again, feeling the warmth of his body against yours and drinking in his natural scent that you didn't know you missed so much.
"Missed you so much," you tell him again and again because telling him once is not enough and even though you're with him, you're missing him still.
He hugs you back and kisses you on the neck, without warning, hoisting your body to take you to bed.
The suite is decorated similarly to the first time you got here, the room is dim and lit candles lined up on one side of the wall, rose petals on the bed, a bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket of ice, the sex toys and condoms are present and ready to use.
You don't need any more pointers to sex, the room itself reminds you of what you did the last time you were here. Not going to lie, you get butterflies from the flashbacks.
Hyunjin swiftly pops open the wine and fills the flutes with bubbling wine.
"Do you remember what we did the last we were here?" You playfully ask him.
He licks his lips after sipping his wine, making them wetter and redder like a ripe cherry.
"When I told you you were on my mind 24/7, our time in the suite is included," he shamelessly admits.
"Which one?" You ask with a sly smile.
"The second time," he shortly replies.
It's impossible not to think about it when you had sex in this very room, on this very bed and the person you did it with is with you. You can see that he's thinking of the same thing too and despite everything, it was special for both of you.
"It means that it's our third time in suite," you remark, hooking your fingers on the belt loop on his jeans.
He leans in and puts your hair to the side so he can place a gentle kiss on your jaw. With his mouth only an inch away from your ear, he asks, "And you know what they say?"
"What?" You lowly ask back.
"Third time is a charm," he replies with a smirk and another kiss on your cheek, a little too close to the corner of your mouth.
You refrain from sexual stuff just fine when you're alone but when you're with him, all of your senses and everything you learned in this retreat are out of the window. He has that much influence on you and that's what makes him dangerous.
"Should we make a toast?" You suggest, raising your glass to the middle.
"Sure."
You clink your glasses together and say, "The third time is a charm."
"Third time is a charm," Hyunjin repeats the words while devilishly smiling at you and his teeth faintly biting his lower lips.
-
YOU: We did it once but I'm afraid, it'd only make us crave it more [bites lips]
-
You stand facing the sink and carefully take off your earrings, then your necklaces next, unclasping them one by one while Hyunjin checks the bathwater.
He then walks up to you, noticing that you probably need his help, "Need help?"
"Help me with the dress, please?" You sweetly ask as you place all of your pieces of jewelry into the soap holder.
"Okay," he obeys, putting all of your hair to the side before slowly unzipping your dress. He parts it open, exposing your back to the cool night air.
"Want me to take it off of you too?" He offers with his knuckles lightly caressing your back.
"Yeah, sure," you answer.
Hyunjin looks at you through the mirror as he pulls the straps of your dress down your arms and instead of keep pulling it down, he pulls it over your head and you raise your arms to the air to make it easier for him.
You can hear his low sigh as he takes a look at the reflection of your naked body in the mirror and he doesn't hesitate to slip his arms under and around you.
"My baby is so beautiful," he murmurs with his plush lips on your shoulder and drags them to your neck.
It feels a lot more arousing as he's holding your naked body while still fully dressed, you can feel his rough clothing making friction with your skin with the slightest of his movements.
"Mind your hands, please," you remind him as his hands slide down to your thighs.
He immediately rests his hands on each side of your waist and kisses your neck before pulling away. While you're putting your hair into a bun, you quietly watch him taking his clothes off through the mirror.
He's a lot more attractive than the one you imprinted in your mind, you wouldn't say he's muscular but he has muscles in the right places and they contracted when he's taking his shirts over his head, sending his hair disheveled.
You hurriedly distract yourself, taking care of the bath and turning the faucet off. You check the temperature once more by dipping your hand into the water.
"Bath is ready," you announce.
When you look over your shoulder, Hyunjin is already standing behind you, naked. You suddenly get nervous at how close he is, you can feel the heat his body emitting.
"You need help to take it off too?" He teasingly asks, picking at the thin strap of your underwear.
"If you want to," you coyly answer.
Hyunjin surely won't skip the chance to get physical with you, you stand still while hugging yourself as he takes your underwear off for you. He slowly pulls it down until it's pooling around your ankle and you kick it to the side.
"Are you going to help me get into the tub too?" You tease with a sly smile on your face.
To your surprise, he lifts you newlywed style and gently puts you down into the tub, showcasing his strength and the muscles on his arms.
"Anything else I can help you with?" He sweetly asks.
You take his hand and pull him close, leaving only a few inches between your faces. Seeing him this close and not being able to kiss him is a real torture.
"Actually yes, can you get the wine, please?" You politely ask with a soft smile.
-
YOU: I know for a fact that we can't be close to each other because if there's a spark, we'll catch a fire.
-
Memories are coming back, you and him in the bathtub, the water is warm but the temperature keeps on rising and rising. It's a scene that was once very familiar to him.
He'll never get used to seeing your naked body, you'll always appealing, alluring, and irresistible to him, it takes everything in him to not follow the urge to put his hands all over you.
The plan is to try to keep himself away from you but it seems like he already failed on that.
"Want to come to you," you say, putting your glass away and crawling over to him.
Unfortunately, your hand slips down the edge of the tub, sending you collapsing onto him but he's quick to catch you and steady you.
"Are you okay?"
You laugh as you rub your elbow, "I'm okay."
To avoid more accidents, he allows you to sit straddling him inside the tub, your hands are around his shoulders and your eyes are boring into his, filled with filthy ideas just like his.
"Let's get to know each other," you say.
He keeps his hands gripping the edges of the tub instead of on you, "Okay."
Your head is hovering above him and beads of water are dropping from the end of your hair onto his chest, "What's your favorite position?"
He kind of expected that the question would be about sex and he was right. Instead of running away from it, you're going straight for it, leading him into it. He drops his head to the back and groans.
"We shouldn't even think about it," he grumbles.
You're chuckling and lifting his head back to face you by supporting the nape of his neck with your hand, "We're just getting to know each other," you innocently say.
Hyunjin touches his lips as he thinks of an answer. He can think of his favorite positions but he can't help but think of the ones he wants to do with you. Then he looks at you and how you're straddling him, the way your eyes look down at him.
"I think this is the best position," he finally answers.
You tuck your hair behind your ear and place your hand on his chest, "Me on top is your favorite position?"
"I said best position for you, not for me," he explains it to you with a grin, "But I know I'd enjoy it nonetheless."
You giggle in response and lean in to kiss his neck, he's not expecting you to keep going at it, making a trail of kisses down the column of his throat.
This is not good and if he lets you keep going, he's not sure he can restrain himself anymore. He puts his hand on your neck and turns your head to make you look at him.
"We're here to talk so let's talk," he softly says, he gently touches your cheek with his thumb.
You nod and smile, leaning in while tightening your arms around his shoulders.
"Well, I'm so happy for us," you bump your nose against him, "Can you see that I'm so into you?"
It's hard to focus on the talk when your nipples are lightly grazing his chest. He has to actively tell his brain to keep it together.
"I never thought I'd meet the one here," he mutters to you.
You slip your hand into his hair, playing with his little ponytail and twirling it around your finger.
"Am I the one?" You ask with a shy smile.
He stares into your eyes which slowly enchant him, "You are the one."
He can't even believe that he said that out loud and his mouth would get ahead of his brain, but that doesn't make it less true. You are the one for him.
"I'd love to kiss you right now," you murmur with your lips merely inches away from his.
He immediately stops you from following your desire, he holds your face with both hands and keeps you close, "I'd love to do a thousand things to you but..." he can barely finish his sentence, he ends it with a sigh instead.
-
HYUNJIN: She's not making it easy for me, especially in the suite.
-
Bath time is over doesn't mean the temptation ends there too. You're dressed in a flimsy night dress that leaves so little to imagination and you catch him staring through it yet do nothing to stop him from doing it.
Hyunjin knows you secretly enjoy being ogled on like this.
"I feel like I need to test you a little bit," you say.
He lets out a chuckle, "Why?"
You put your hand across his chest and hover above him, "I need to know that you can be around me and you know, be good," you say with a nonchalant shrug.
He puts his hands under his head to prevent him from touching you, "I think I can. That's why I'm back," he not-so-confidently says.
"Okay," you repeatedly nod and touch his chest, caressing his soft, warm skin, then pour some wine onto it.
"What are you doing?" He asks with a suppressed moan as the wine streams down his front.
"I owe you a body shot, remember?" You coyly say, leaning in to drink the wine right from his body.
Hyunjin watches as you lick and suck the wine on his abdomen, you don't even hesitate to use your tongue to collect the droplets of wine on his abs.
"Oh, look at you being naughty!" He murmurs, feeling aroused at how you give him seductive gazes once in a while.
You giggle in response and continue your trail of kisses up to his neck and start nibbling on his ear, making his eyes flutter open and shut, immersed in the pleasure.
He has to use his hand to stop you or else, he'll get too worked up and—
You pull away and sit on the bed, tugging the hem of your night dress to take it off and leaving only your silk underwear on.
"And what are you doing now?" He asks, thinking that he's safely made it after that kinky body shot.
"You're okay with me sleeping naked tonight, right?" You say, tossing the night dress at him.
This is unfair. He's trying to be good and here you are, making it hard for him, literally and figuratively, and it's like everything he learned in that workshop evaporated from his head the second he sees your naked body.
You crawl over to him and just stay like that, hovering above him, teasing him with your body and how your breasts hang close to his face.
Using his knuckles, Hyunjin caresses your sternum down to your abdomen, then rests his hands on each side of your waist. How did he get himself into this compromising position?
"I'm anxious," he mutters.
You slowly lay yourself down on top of him and prop your elbow against the mattress to support your head, "Why?"
"Because I'm able to do whatever I want with you," he murmurs with his hand continuously rubbing the soft skin on your back.
You swipe your thumb across his lips and turn his head to face you, "If it were up to me, we could just say fuck it."
He slyly grins and licks his lips, making them glisten under the dim light, "Should we?"
You place a hot kiss on his neck and another on the sensitive skin behind his ear, then you softly whisper to him, "I say let's enjoy ourselves."
-
HYUNJIN: Despite everything, I think we deserve this last suite.
-
In the morning, it rains down kisses on your back, shoulder, and neck. He stretches his arm out, gesturing you to rest your head on it so he can pull you closer and peppering you with more neck and shoulder kisses.
"Morning," he hums to you.
"Morning," you mumble with eyes barely open.
You both stay like that for another moment, cuddling each other and simply enjoying each other's presence in comfortable silence.
After a while, he looks over your shoulder and says, "I had a great night last night."
You hold his hand and clutch it close to your chest along with the duvet, "Me too."
The morning continues with breakfast, you borrow Hyunjin's shirts since you're wearing nothing but your underwear. It really brings back the memory of the first time you went to the suite together with him.
While you're busy chewing your food, he suddenly grabs your elbow.
"You have a bruise, babe," he informs you with his thumb gently rubbing on it.
You put down your fork and immediately have a look at it, there's a blossoming bruise right below your elbow.
"Oh?" You guessed it was from last night when you accidentally slipped in the tub.
"Does it hurt?" His voice is tinted with concern.
"Well, it's your fault," you grumble at him and pick up your fork to continue eating.
He looks so puzzled at your words, making you want to tease him more.
"You were so rough last night," you jokingly add with a grin.
"Not that you minded last time," He replies with a cheeky response, then aggressively throws himself at you and attacks your neck with kisses.
There's not much time left in the suite, you head straight to the bathroom after breakfast, wash up, and change into a new pair of bikini. You're brushing your hair and tying it into a ponytail since you didn't take any of your hair products with you.
Hyunjin lifts you by the waist and sits you down on top of the sink, deciding to seduce you at the last minute, kissing you all over your chest and neck. Moans are spilling out of your parted mouth as he drags his full lips along your collarbone, then kisses the base of your throat.
He cages you between his arms and slightly bends down to be on the same eye level as you. The way he looks at you fondly yet intensely gets your heart flips and your belly turning at the same time. You keep your hands on his chest just in case he tries to do something.
However, you're not sure you can restrain yourself too when he looks this good with his hair slightly tousled and his lips are merely inches away from yours.
He then leans in, bringing his mouth to the side of your head, "I can put it in for a bit," he seductively whispers with his breath tickling your ear.
If you were anywhere than here, you would have crumbled in front of him in a second. Thankfully, you remember the task at hand and immediately push him away.
"Come on, we have to go!"
-
YOU: [Chuckles] It's kind of hard to resist him because I'm really, really attracted to Hyunjin.
-
The two of you going to the bedroom since everyone else is still there, probably waiting in anticipation whether we win that $90,000 back or not.
"What are we going to say to them?" Hyunjin asks.
"The prize fund is zero so I guess there's no money to lose here," You jokingly answer.
Hyunjin pushes the door of the bedroom and lets you in first. You see that everyone is still sitting on their beds and the chatter abruptly stops when they see you enter the room.
You both keep your facial expression calm and plain as you take a seat on the bench sofa in the middle of the room with Lana sitting prettily on the table at the end of the sofa.
Hyunjin looks at everyone and then at you, "Do you want to start?"
Well, you haven't thought of what you want to say but everyone is looking at you in anticipation and waiting for you to say something.
You open your mouth to speak but the cone gets ahead of you, Lana chimes and lights up.
"Last night, you both faced the ultimate test," Lana goes straight into business.
"If Hyunjin could put what he learned into practice, and as a couple you could refrain from breaking any retreat rules, the prize fund will be increased from $0 to $90,000."
You keep looking at the cone as she speaks and at times, glancing at Hyunjin.
"However, what I did not see was that your partner would be the problem."
Lana doesn't have to expose you like that, you were just having a little fun last night. You dramatically roll your eyes at the cone then look away.
"Even though she was successful in sexually arousing Hyunjin, he was able to dig deep, hold firm, and respect the rules of my retreat."
The most important part of it all is that you did not break the rules but okay, you'll let it slide because Lana is going to give back that $90,000.
"Which means the prize fund now stands at $90,000," Lana announces.
"Oh, yeah!" Diego triumphantly shouts and punches the air at the same time.
Andy is loudly whistling in reaction while everyone else is applauding the two of you for successfully paying your debts.
"Proud of you, guys," Edie cheerily says with a big smile on her small face.
"This is what you called growth," Remy says with two thumbs up.
It does pay to be good and you're happy that you don't owe anyone anything now. You can't say that it was easy to pass the test but you're proud of yourself for not acting selfishly and proving that you both have grown personally and as a couple.
"As a reward for showing restraint and putting the interests of the group above your own, I'm sending you on a date this afternoon," Lana adds.
Hearing that gets you to jump up and crash yourself at Hyunjin, and thankfully, he catches you right on time. Instead of putting you down, he hoists you higher and gives you a spin.
"Aww, stop it! You guys are so cute," Vic says in jealousy.
-
YOU: The last few days have been so hard for both of us. We earned this date. [Squeals] Oh, I'm just so excited!
-
Hyunjin meticulously picks his outfits for the date.
He settles on a light blue shirt and dark swimming trunks, he ties his long, dark hair half up and half down, and he uses his cologne with the scent you like so much.
As he waits by the beach for you, he's organizing his thoughts and planning on the things he wants to say to you. He has a plan in mind but he hasn't figured out how to do it yet, but more importantly, how to get the best outcome.
There you are, looking so beautiful with a smile that is brighter than the sun, walking up to him and only him. He holds his hand out of you even though you're still out of his reach.
"Have you been waiting long?" You ask the second you take his hand.
"Not long enough, apparently," he jokingly replies.
A boat takes you to a small island where the staff has prepared a nice picnic, along with a basket of food and a bottle of wine.
It's such a nice date, the sun is about to set for the day and there's no one in sight, it's just you and him, enjoying each other's company.
"You look amazing," he compliments you and how you look in your floral sundress.
"Thank you, baby. So are you," you compliment back with a smile.
He still doesn't know how to start, he can't just suddenly talk his feelings out but he knows he has to consider that he has limited time to do it, this date won't last forever and if he doesn't do it now, he'd only allow himself to keep retreating.
"I'm going to be honest, it's your physical caught my attention first," he confesses.
You smile and keep your eyes on him, letting him finish his talk while holding your champagne flute close to your mouth.
"I can't even say anything bad about you. You're stunning, undeniably beautiful," he awkwardly raises his hand at you.
Your smile grows wider and brighter, flustered from his words.
"But what truly amazed me was what you have inside. You're beautiful inside and out, and I admire you for that," he sincerely tells you as he lovingly stares at your face.
He puts down his glass of wine so he can take your hand and holds it in his, he looks at you again with a facial expression that turns a little tense from a while ago.
"I learned a lot with everything we've been through," he says, his thumb lazily rubbing the back of your hand as he speaks.
"We've come a long, long way," he adds.
Realizing that the talk is getting serious, you also put your drink away and give all of your attention to him.
"Yeah," you agree with a light nod.
"And for as long as I can remember, my emotions have been so shut off. I never felt what I feel for you with anyone else, ever," he emphasizes every word to let you know how much he means it.
You tilt your head to the side without taking your eyes off of him, and a smile that never wears off even for a second.
"You've brought out a vulnerable side of me I never wanted to bring out," he admits.
You nod again to show him that you are present and listening to every word he's saying.
"You made me realize that I do have a heart and I'm willing to take whatever risks are to come," he continues.
The smile on your face wavers a bit and you ask, "Are you sure?"
He nods and confidently answers, "Yes."
His next question is the one that he dreads to ask you but he has to, he has to know what you think before he can continue with the most important of all.
He gulps air and bravely asks, "What do you think about doing long distance relationship?"
He thought asking it would be the scariest part but it's not, it's waiting for the answer.
"Well, that's going to be a big challenge," you honestly answer.
For the first time, you break your eye contact with him and add, "The thought of it is scary to me."
The answer is making him nervous and he suddenly doubts his decision to ask you the big question. He gets caught between two choices: continue his plan and risk getting rejected or abort the plan and try again next time?
Risk it or play it safe?
-
HYUNJIN: I want her to be my girlfriend but the one thing that scares me the most is the person I've fallen for lives on the other side of the world.
-
It seems like something you said displeased Hyunjin in a way, maybe you said something he doesn't want to hear and you understand if he feels that way, you just want to keep it honest with him.
Since Hyunjin has done talking, you take the turn to tell him about your feelings and more. It's impossible to put your feelings into words but you try your best at it.
But first, you close the gap between your bodies, you scoot closer to him, and put your clasped hands on your lap.
"Hyunjin," you softly call him to get his attention.
"Yes?" He sweetly replies.
"I loved meeting you and getting to know who you really are," you barely began but you're feeling emotional already, "I loved how we've fallen for each other so fast but at the same time, it was natural and nice."
He keeps his eyes on you and at times, keeps your hair tucked to your ear from the sea breeze.
"We got to talk about our lives and exchange thoughts and ideas too," you continue while trying not to break into tears in between your words.
"And the way you're always there for me, oh..." you let out a sigh with eyes closed, "it's amazing."
From what he said earlier, you get it now that he's dreading the same thing with you. Once the retreat ends, the two of you have to go back home and live far away from each other. You can't even bear losing him for those two days after he got eliminated so what makes you believe you can stand living far away from him?
It's hard but it's not about capability, it's whether you're willing or not. For him, you're willing to do anything.
"Someone a million miles away that's worth it will always be worth it," you tell him.
He looks so tense that you doubt he catches the meaning of what you said to him so you simplify it for him.
"No man I've ever met is worth it," you hold his hand tighter and continue, "Except you."
The warmth and the glow on his face return almost immediately like someone has turned up the brightness on his face.
"I've never liked someone as much as I like you and I'm willing to make it work," you remark.
Hyunjin looks relieved but you can see that he's holding something back, you sense he still has something else to say to you.
"Um..." he tucks a lock of his hair behind his ear.
You lean in close and curiously ask, "What?
He looks up and he immediately holds your eyes in an intense gaze, "I would like to go to the next step," he says.
It's like someone holds your heart and squeezes it tight, making you hold your breath without you wanting to.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" Hyunjin asks with eyes that are filled with hopeful glints.
You allow yourself to breathe to give him a confident answer, "Yes."
Hyunjin doesn't wait to put his arms around you and pull you into a hug, he buries his nose in your neck to drink in your natural scent that gives him a sense of comfort.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes..." you repeatedly say as you hug him back.
Without looking, you can hear him smiling close to your ear and you don't expect him to say those three words right into your ear.
"I love you."
You immediately pull away from his hug and look at him, "Me too," you whine.
You almost cry because all this time, you thought he didn't like you as much as you do or even had the faintest idea that he would be the first and this soon to say those three words to you.
"You love me?" He asks in disbelief.
"I've been holding myself back from telling you that 'cause I'm not sure if you feel the same so I waited for you to say it first," you can't hold it much longer, you let your emotions out and your eyes instantly get teary.
"Oh, baby," he coos, pulling you into a hug again. He holds your face with both hands and places a chaste kiss on your forehead, long and lingering, making your heart overflow with warm feelings.
"Say it again to me, please?" He sweetly begs.
"I love you," you softly mutter.
You thought saying it would lessen the ache in your heart but it's the opposite, your heart still aches every time you say it because it's real and it's true, and the pain is the proof of it.
There's that melodic chime and you look around to see where it comes from, not realizing that it's both of your watches turn green.
Hyunjin doesn't waste another second but bring your head close and slightly tilts your head upward. He flashes you a smile before leaning in and placing his soft lips on yours. You close your eyes to heighten the other senses so you can taste him more and feel him better.
The kiss itself is rewarding and exceptional, you feel like kissing him for the first time all over again.
He stops and pulls away for a second to ask, "Is it still green?"
You glance down at your wrist and nod, "Uh-huh, it's still green."
Hyunjin dives in for another kiss, putting his hand on the nape of your neck and deepening the kiss rather too passionately, sending you both to fall onto the picnic mat.
-
YOU: We've still got a lot to learn and there's going to be plenty more challenges for us out there but if he's by my side, I don't think anything can go wrong.
-
Some people are hanging out in the firepit, catching the two of you walking hand-in-hand, returning from the date. They are hooting at the sight of you and you can't help but smile, well, you've been smiling non-stop since Hyunjin asked you to be his girlfriend.
"Look at you, guys! Smiling ear to ear!" Saskia teases you with a pat on your butt.
You both sit on the smaller sofa facing everyone, "I know you won't believe it but we got a green light," you brag with a grin.
"Oh!" Saskia coos with her hands covering her mouth.
"Go on, spill!" Emilie demands the details from you.
"It was a beautiful date. We went to this beautiful small island, just the two of us," you make it succinct for all of them.
"And we're official now," Hyunjin adds with her arm around your shoulder.
"Man, you have a girlfriend now!" Andy proudly says, coming at him for an aggressive hug.
"Aww, I'm so happy for you guys," Emilie mutters with an envious smile.
The happy moment has to end with Lana assembling everyone in the cabana. You both successfully gained back $90,000 in the prize fund so you don't have to worry about the money anymore. Then again, you never know what's coming, all you know is she always makes you worry in this retreat.
The cone chimes and at this point, you give up on trying to guess what kind of news she's going to announce this time.
"Hello, everyone."
"Hi, Lana!" Everyone replies
"How do you feel knowing the retreat is almost over?" She asks.
"I'm happy we learned a lot," Andy answers.
"Yeah. Exactly," Saskia agrees with him.
"Sad that it'll be over soon," Edie says with a pout.
"Can we stay a little longer?" Saskia jokingly asks.
"As this is your last night in the retreat, I've prepared a special Cinelana with your best moments in the retreat," she announces.
All is cheering in response to this delightful surprise from Lana but Edouard isn't that delighted to hear it.
"Another Cinelana?" He asks with a weird look on his face, "I heard the last one wasn't very good."
While Andy is rubbing his hands together in excitement, "It's going to be awesome."
"Fuck. Everyone is going to cry," Frida says, already fanning her eyes in case it waters.
The TV lights up with the screen showing the word 'Cinelana' and then a video plays, a compilation of moments from the first time the group entered the retreat to the recent one where everyone had fun during the cooking workshop.
Everyone cheers whenever someone is kissing and laughs whenever it shows the goofy things people did, and for you, your heart bursts whenever you and Hyunjin appear on the screen, getting all sorts of emotions as you're watching it.
Edie puts her arm around you and holds you close as the video keeps playing, she's getting emotional as well the more she watches.
When the video ends, everyone takes a moment to compose themselves before applauding. Looking back at it, you can see that you have grown a lot as a person and you find yourself getting emotional by it, you carefully wipe the corners of your eyes and try not to ruin your makeup.
"Damn. I look that good on TV?" Andy playfully says.
"Play it again!" Saskia pleads with her hands raised in the air.
Lana chimes again and starts talking, "After reviewing your steps here at the retreat, I can see that you've changed a lot since you arrived here. Anything you'd like to share?"
Everyone shares their experiences in the retreat and how it changed them in a way. When it comes to your turn, you take a second to gather your thoughts and organize them into words.
"I feel like I had a lot of barriers and here, I learned to open up and really be myself," you share.
Hyunjin takes his turn next, licking his lips before speaking, "In here, I learned that the more honest you are with people, the more they become part of your life," he says with a smile and a glance at you.
It's only hitting you now that the retreat is going to end soon and you feel emotional all over again. Everything that you went through here, shaped you into who you are today and for that, you're grateful for this experience.
After all, everyone is really happy to know that we did our best and everything worked out in the end.
-
YOU: I'm having mixed feelings, you know? I miss everything that has happened here. It was really like a movie, it went by so fast.
-
The lights are on too early or that's what you thought. You stay lying on your stomach and dive back into your pillow, refusing to wake up.
Not long after, Hyunjin sneaks his hand under and rests it on the arch of your back. He lands gentle caresses on your back and softly murmurs, "Wake up, baby."
"Mmh," you hum in response to let him know that you're awake.
Dissatisfied with your answer, he hovers above you and slowly puts most of his weight on you.
"Wake up," he says again with a slobbering kiss on your bare shoulder.
"I'm awake," you croak with your eyes closed.
He gently removes the hair covering your face to place a kiss on your cheek, "Still sleepy, mmh?"
You lift your head from the pillow and nod with your eyes still shut.
"Cute," he comments and places another kiss on your cheek.
He lets you sleep more as he cuddles you in his arms, playing with your hair while chatting with Andy on the next bed.
A while later, the cone chimes for her usual morning greeting.
"Good morning, everyone."
"Morning, Lana!" Diego is the loudest to reply to her greeting.
"Welcome to the last day of the retreat."
It's kind of hard to believe that you're close to the end line and when you look back at it, it feels so short compared to the thought you had when you started it.
"I'll be announcing who the finalists are shortly," Lana announces.
Hoping to win the money too would be too much to ask, you already feel incredibly lucky that Lana decided to give Hyunjin another chance and make it possible for you to finish the retreat together with him.
"This is the last day! Let's make it count!" Edie cheerfully shouts to the room.
Hyunjin cups your cheek and looks at you, "Want to swim together?"
"Okay," you mumble.
"Okay?"
"Okay," you repeat with a chuckle.
You head straight to the bathroom to wash up and change into a swimsuit before joining Hyunjin in the swimming pool.
The morning sun heats the pool water, making it lukewarm and comfortable for you to dip your feet in. You sit and watch Hyunjin skillfully swimming in a backstroke style.
As he waddles his way to you, you hold your arms out at him, "Take me for a ride, baby!"
He brushes his wet hair to the back before turning around, offering his back at you, and lets you hop on it. You put your arms around his neck for support as he takes you for a swim around the pool.
"So, what's our plan?" You surprise him with a question as the two of you stand on the side of the pool.
"Uhm..." he takes a second to wipe the beads of water on his face, "You're coming home with me, that's for sure."
You prop a hand under your chin and slyly smile at him, "And?"
This time, he wipes the beads of water hanging under his chin, "You want to know?"
"Uh-huh," you eagerly nod.
"Come closer and I'll tell you," he says with his fingers gesturing you to come close.
You obey and lean closer, he leans in as well but his mouth gets way too close to your ear and when you think he's about to whisper something, he kisses your neck instead.
He keeps you close with his arm tightly wrapped around your waist and instead of trying to fight it, you cave in and hold him back.
It's a moment like this that makes you wish things remain the same once you get outside of this retreat.
-
YOU: I'll miss waking up next to him and just being with him all the time [sadly smiles]
-
A little after lunch, Lana gathered everyone for the finalist's announcement. They may seem calm but you believe, they anticipate the news on whether they have the chance to win the money or not.
Lana comes online and after all these times, that melodic chime makes you nervous still.
"Oh, I'm not going to miss that sound," you groan.
Hyunjin smiles and rubs his hand up and down your arm to comfort you.
"Hello, everyone," Lana greets.
"Hello, Lana!" Everyone enthusiastically replies which is very unusual.
"I've been collecting data since you arrived and have now conducted my final analysis," She informs.
You have accepted the fact that your chance to be a finalist is slim, close to zero so you don't anticipate the announcement as much as everyone else.
"As you are aware, there was a prize fund of $200,000 allocated to aid your development. Now, the prize fund stands at $90,000."
"That's a lot of money," Diego says even though more than half of the total prize money has gone.
"There are three places at the final," Lana reveals.
You see everyone is glancing at each other and probably, calculating their chances in their heads as they keep following Lana's further explanation.
"Following my rules alone isn't enough to win. The finalists are those who have shown the most personal growth during their time at the retreat."
-
YOU: Will I win the money? Probably not. But would I like to win the money? Yes, I'd love to.
-
Hyunjin doesn't hope much about winning the money, he's happy just to gain that money back for everyone to win in the first place.
"The first finalist is..."
He also believes that Lana will make the right choices so whoever gets chosen, deserves it.
"Vic and Edouard, I nominate you as a couple," Lana announces.
Vic and Edouard take a stand and hug each other, looking utterly happy to be one of the three finalists. As a couple, they blossomed from all the hardships they went through together and that makes them deserve a spot in the final three.
"The second finalist is..." Lana continues with the announcement.
Hyunjin sees that you don't seem that hopeful to be called as a finalist as well but not disappointed either. The most important thing of all is you got each other and that's enough.
"...Edie."
A round of applause is aimed toward Edie who gladly stands up to take the second finalist spot, smiling as Lana explains the reason why she chose her to be a finalist.
"The third and last finalist is..."
His guess is either Frida or Andy because they both have shown so much growth in the retreat and they've been avid followers of Lana's principles.
"...Hyunjin."
It takes him a minute to register that Lana called his name, well, his guess is off-mark because he didn't expect that he'll be a finalist, or even considered to be one.
You keep yanking his arm, urging him to stand up as Lana instructed. He quickly gets ahold of himself and gets up from the sofa as everyone looks at him with pride.
"Hyunjin, although you connected with your partner from the start, you struggled to change your player ways, putting your sexual desires first and breaking numerous rules that I have to take drastic changes."
You quietly hold his hand behind him and stare up at him with a proud smile on your face, shaking it in excitement.
"But when I gave you a second chance, you embraced the opportunity to grow and found the importance of emotional intimacy."
-
HYUNJIN: I'm just happy to be considered that I am worthy enough, really.
-
It's a privilege to see him grow, he's changed so much from the person you met on the first day of the retreat to the man you're looking at now.
As someone who takes a small part in his transformative journey, you're more than happy to see his growth being acknowledged and standing as one of the finalists.
"Hyunjin, Edie, or Vic and Edouard will walk away with $90,000 and the decision will be made by the remaining guests."
At the end of the day, it's up to us to choose who actually wins because we are there every step of the way and being with each other all the time. You can only hope that everyone is making the right decision.
"Will the shortlisted guests please leave the cabana while the voting takes place?"
You get up to give Hyunjin a quick hug before he leaves with the other finalists.
"See you later," he mutters to you with a peck on your cheek.
"Mmh. See you later," you say with a smile.
Edie waves her hands and blows kisses at everyone before turning around to leave the cabana.
"I've been with them since day one. I've seen their journey so much and it's hard because how can you compare them?" Andy says, torn in between three choices.
"It's a question of decision which one you think deserves it most," Saskia suggests.
-
YOU: Hyunjin may have broken the most rules in the retreat but I've seen him learn and grow from those mistakes so my vote goes to him.
-
The dressing room is crowded and full of chatters, everyone is busy getting ready for the last party in the villa.
You put on the white dress you've been saving for which fits the theme 'White Party'. For the hair, you get help from Vic, curling them into loose, soft waves while you're doing your makeup.
This is what you're going to miss the most, everyone is in one room and interacting, there is laughter and smiles, and all sorts of energy converge in this one room.
Since the finalists have to wait in the dressing room, you make time to have a few words with Hyunjin and come up to him for a hug.
"I'm so proud of you," you mutter low enough only for him to hear and ignore that there are other people in the room.
He doesn't even try to stop you but stays still as you place little kisses and leave faint lipstick marks all over his face.
"So, so proud," you say again while tightening your arms around him.
He carefully pats your hand without ruining your hair and then kisses the top of your head.
"We're going to win that money," he jokingly says with a sly smile.
There's a possibility that he'd win but you don't want to put on a high hope. You decide to laugh it off but secretly wish that it'll come true in your head.
"You'd better. Flight tickets aren't cheap," you joke back.
With another kiss on his cheek, you leave the dressing room and catch Frida checking herself out in the bathroom. You decide to join her to check your appearance one more time.
"Look at us!" Frida says, putting her arm on your shoulder, "We became new women."
You smile as you look at both of your reflections in the mirror, and you like the person that you're seeing, she's confident, she's emotionally available, and ready for the world.
-
YOU: I came in a player and now I'm leaving with my head high and a smile on my face. I just need Hyunjin to win that money [laughs]
-
You and Frida are the last ones to join everyone by the pool where the last party is held. Frida notices that everyone is already holding a drink in their hands.
"Is that Prosecco?" She asks.
Frida squeals even though no one is answering her, she quickly grabs two glasses for her and you with Diego filling them for both of you.
"Let's have a toast for Lana," Andy shouts.
Everyone raises their glasses in the air and waits for the cue to drink it.
"And cheers to our long, hard, sexless summer," Edie adds.
Not long after, the finalists join the party with a dramatic entrance. The moment you had with Hyunjin earlier was so brief that you didn't pay attention to his outfit.
Silk shirts seem tacky to most people but Hyunjin is not most people, he looks damn good in it. It's one of those moments that makes you wonder if he really is your boyfriend. Heck! You even forgot that he's your boyfriend.
"You look amazing," you whisper into his ear.
"Thank you," he shyly says, blushing.
For the first time, everyone is happy for Lana to interrupt the party, mostly because they can't wait to find out who's going to take home the money.
"Good evening, everyone."
It may be going to be the last time you hear that melodic chime and God, let it be the last time.
"During your time at my retreat, you have broken my rules 20 times," Lana announces.
You almost choke on your wine hearing that, feeling guilty for contributing to half of those rule breaks.
"Goddamn!" Remy exclaims with eyes widening in slight shock.
"Throughout your stay, I've observed people commit to the process and ultimately make a significant change," Lana continues.
Edie cups her hands around her mouth and loudly says, "You did a good job, Lana!"
Everyone feels the need to give Lana a round of applause because all the credit goes to that cone-shaped cockblocker.
"The time has come to announce the winner."
This is where things get tense and you feel nervous for Hyunjin no matter how much you convince yourself that he doesn't need to win that money, he doesn't need to win anything at all.
"Finalists, please stand up!" Lana orders.
Hyunjin looks at you and you hurriedly give him a sweet kiss on the cheek.
"You got this, baby," you mutter with a smile as he gets up to hear the winner's announcement.
-
HYUNJIN: We've all been going through so many emotions and pushing ourselves to be better.
YOU: So happy that we've been able to share this experience with everyone here [smiles]
-
"The votes have been counted and only one finalist can check out with a $90,000 prize."
Hyunjin still can't believe that he's standing as one of the finalists and possibly, wins the money. It's a little funny though, remembering he went through a lot to get that money back.
"The person in third place is..."
It would be funnier if he won that money too, right? But he should remain humble, the other two are as deserving as him to win it if not more.
"...Edie."
Instead of looking disappointed, Edie keeps on smiling, she blows kisses to everyone, including him, Vic, and Edouard. Hyunjin smiles back at her, giving her a round of applause for winning third place.
Then it hits him that he's on the top two and it feels real with you holding his hand so tightly behind him.
"The winner who will be leaving with $90,000 is..."
He can feel you hold his hand tighter and tighter in each passing second his knuckles turn white.
"...Vic and Edouard."
-
YOU: We may have not won but I still win because I have the best man here.
HYUNJIN: Money is easy to make, but love is hard to find [smiles]
YOU: [looks at Hyunjin] Well said, baby.
-
Even though you didn't hear the name you wanted to hear, it doesn't stop you from celebrating. You even come to give them a hug to congratulate them on their win.
"Congrats, Vic!" You sincerely say to her as you tightly hug her.
Looking at her crying in happy tears gets you emotional as well, your eyes start to water, feeling tremendously happy for both of them and for everyone too.
To fully celebrate the moment, Edouard pops open a bottle of champagne and sprays it at everyone. You're lucky that Hyunjin immediately shields you from getting wine all over your dress.
After Edouard and Vic take a big, triumphant sip of wine, Lana comes with one, last announcement:
"My retreat is officially over. The rules no longer apply."
The way you and Hyunjin immediately look at each other and waste no time to crash your lips together that your teeth almost collide.
The kiss is momentous, making it a special memory that you'll cherish for life. Dare you say, like a movie.
"Pool party!" Andy spontaneously shouts into the night as he runs and jumps into the pool fully clothed.
Everyone laughs at the idea but a moment later, following suit, jumping into the pool with their clothes still on. Hyunjin looks at you to see if you think of the same thing as him. You nod in signal and take his hand, walking with him to the edge of the pool to finally jump into the swimming pool together.
He emerges out of the water first and hurriedly pulls you out, he puts your arms around him as support.
He suddenly gets the urge to utter his feelings and goes with it, "I love you."
You put your forehead against him and smile, "You know I love you too."
Out of happiness, Hyunjin lifts you up and quickly brings you down once he notices that your wet dress is stuck to your body and exposes everything, and a crazy idea crosses his head at that moment.
"What?" You ask in confusion.
He leans into your ear and says, "Want to check the suite for one last time?"
You gently hit his chest in reaction and break into laughter, and he thinks he should be taking it as it is, a crazy idea and nothing more.
You look around before looking back at him and say, "We should go now before anyone notices."
And this is why he likes you, you're shy but bold at times, a bit crazy but that's how he likes it. But the best thing of all, you are his.
-
YOU: Any final words of wisdom, babe?
HYUNJIN: It was an amazing journey with a perfect ending [smiles]
YOU: [nods] Yes.
HYUNJIN: But if I have to be honest, I just want to take her home now so we can f—
-
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sp00kymulderr · 16 hours
Text
just a touch
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Dieter Bravo (x afab!reader)
980 words
warnings: m masturbation, afab!reader mentioned, writer Dieter being horny af, unedited.
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Does anyone else ever spend all their day thinking about...
Dieter Bravo jerking off.
About how he draws it out for hours because he loves to be teased, even if he's teasing himself. He'll watch something filthy (he's got a great selection of porn, some homemade) or look at those nudes you sent him. But he refuses to touch himself the whole time, as he gets harder and more desperate for it.
He likes the luxury of getting off in bed, on his expensive soft sheets, or in the shower with the warm water running all over his body. He gets really sensitive the longer he holds off, so he'll give it as long as he possibly can. If he really wants to drive himself crazy, he'll force himself to go do something else after getting all turned on from whatever he chose to watch - something super mundane like read his many emails, or tidy up whatever mess was left out last night.
Usually though, he'll go to the big full length mirror in his bedroom, slowly take his clothes off, appreciate his own body. He spent a long time struggling with his body image, but nowadays he loves what he sees. His broad chest, the softness of his tummy, and then the bulge in his pants before he slowly peels them off. He's never been anything but proud of his dick. As far as cocks go he's got a pretty one, everyone always says it. He's still not touching it, not now as he appreciates the view of it in the mirror. His hands might come close, as his fingers softly feel their way around his own body, mapping paths you've taken as you've explored him yourself. He'll play with his nipples, pinch at the sensitive parts of his torso and grasp his stomach, appreciate the soft feel of it. He wishes you were there right now, but he'll make do with what he's got. Himself.
Finally...oh finally he makes his way on to his bed, sat with his back against the headboard with his legs spread wide. The mirror is angled just right, so he has a good view of himself from there. He's a little flushed, cheeks reddened. He's leaking precum, made himself so fucking desperate for his own hand. He looks really good, and he knows it.
He'll use whatever is closest, spit or lube or lotion. He isn't picky. Sometimes he'll use a toy too, depending on what he wants to feel and how quick he wants to get off. He loves playing with things that vibrate but they tend to make him come quicker than he likes so he doesn't use them too often - better when you're trying to overstimulate him to tears. Usually he'll use a butt plug when he's on his own, he likes his ass nice and full as often as it can be.
Now he takes himself in his hand, and the moan he makes at that first touch is sinful. He starts off painfully slow, teeth gritted in concentration as he tries to zone in on every single thing he's feeling as his fists glides up and down his cock. He'll think of you now the most, of the drag of your cunt up his dick. Or the warmth of your mouth on him. He'll bring up every memory he has of you and him together, the way you look when he's in you. The way you cry out as he thrusts into you for the first time. God, he can't take it this slow anymore.
As he quickens his pace, the noises he makes would make anyone blush. Dieter is never quiet like this. He loves to be heard, even if it's only him who can hear it right now. More, and more, and more. His free hand is playing with his balls, gentle tugs and squeeze that makes him tense dangerously and groan in pleasure.
Will he slow down now, calm himself down before he starts up again? Well, he'll try but at this point he's possessed by the need to come. He tries to be good, he really does. The way you like it, every last drop teased out of him but holding off for as long as he possibly can You tell him to be good, but you're not here right now and he can't quite bring himself to be that good.
He'll confess later, you can punish him if you want.
He's gasping out, a needy thing, beautiful noises of absolute heady pleasure. Eyes zoning back in just enough to watch as he brings himself to the edge. His favourite part to watch, as his movements falter and his balls tighten and with a loud cry he's spilling ropes of his cum onto his lower belly, onto his fingers, wherever it goes. Messy, he loves it that way. He pulls out every last drop he can, until its too much.
His head falls back against the headboard, eyes squeezing shut as he heaves out heavy breaths while his body trembles slightly from the climax. After a moment or two, he'll bring his hand up to his mouth and lick it clean. Dip his fingers into the mess he made and taste himself. It makes him groan, he tastes so fucking good. You always tell him the same, and he knows you're not lying.
In the time it takes him to regain his thoughts, he's laid himself down on the bed properly, sprawled out and a little dozy. He gets sleepy after he's come, but not enough to actually fall asleep. He just likes to bask in the feeling for a little while while he recovers. He bury his face in the pillow that still smells of you, and close his eyes and just enjoy the moment.
And if he really needs it today...he'll make it all happen again in a couple hours.
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azrielbrainrot · 9 hours
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I Laugh Like Me Again... She Laughs Like You - Part 6
Azriel x Reader
Description: Azriel would give anything to hold you one more time.
Warnings: Violence, Torture, Gore
Word Count: 5550
Notes: This took me a bit longer to write than I anticipated but I wanted to make sure not to forget any details. Hope you enjoy!
Part 5
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The sun was already shining high in the sky when you finally stepped out of the dungeon. Feyre had arrived with Cassian and Amren a few minutes earlier, ordering her mate, you and Azriel to go and get some rest while they took over for a few hours. Rhysand could only use his daemati powers for so long and the strain was starting to become visible on his face, so she likely could feel his fatigue through their mating bond. His efforts were starting to be in vain anyway, you needed to wear Norris down a lot more physically before his mental walls would start giving in.
You didn't want to leave at first, completely unwilling to take your eyes off Norris for even a second, but both you and Azriel had been forced to go take a bath and eat something, maybe even get some sleep and only come back later in the day. Logically this made perfect sense, but you'd rather stay with him until he told you everything you wanted to know. You believe them all to be more than capable of handling this but you also know Norris, if anyone could find a way to escape from the Night Court's dungeons it would be him.
Still, you knew it was going to take a lot longer than a few hours to crack Norris so you needed to keep your strength, you wouldn't be any help at all if you exhausted yourself. Apparently the same wards around your memories were also present in Norris' mind, meaning Rhysand was only able to knock him out in the forest but not read through his thoughts, the same way he wasn't able to reach your memories before. This meant he was the one in control of said wards, both his and yours. Amren was quick to explain that since they had been done with the help of a witch's tool, he had to have it with him to keep up his wards since it wasn't his own magic that was keeping them in place.
It also explains why he risked becoming your handler even though letting you know him could lead to this exact outcome. He needed to strengthen your wards every once in a while to make sure no memory slipped through them. Unfortunately, even without his checkups the wards were strong enough that simply time wouldn't give your memories back in full, at best only letting you see some fragments. There was also no way of knowing what they could do to your mind when left unattended so your only option was to keep pushing him until he told you everything you needed to know.
The tool he used couldn't be far, he either had it on his person or hid it somewhere close before meeting you in the forest. You've searched through his belongings more than once, as did everyone present in the cell, including Azriel's shadows, but came up empty. He likely had a powerful glamour cast on it, one you had to make him break. Getting your hands on that tool meant you could break both the wards around his mind, which would grant Rhysand access to any and every piece of information he wanted, and the wards keeping your memories hidden inside you. One simple object could set you free.
Azriel winnowed you to the middle of the mountains surrounding Velaris, right behind the House of Wind, making sure no one in the city could see your bodies drenched in blood but unable to winnow you straight home. Having a house protected by wards that didn't allow for any winnowing, even by its inhabitants, was really good in theory, you've never seen a safer place really, but in practice having to fly up every time was more than annoying, especially when you don't have wings of your own.
The air was strangely awkward around the two of you since you hadn't spoken a word to each other after the short argument in the forest. Most of your annoyance had worn off at this point, got redirected at your smug handler chained up in the dungeon, but you still wanted him to be the one to come to you and explain himself. His attitude earlier had seemed completely different from everything you'd experienced until then, you know there's a reason for it but you're too prideful to ask him about it.
The only plausible reason you could think of is that he's been using you to get to an assassin with a higher up position in the guild, but something told you immediately that wasn't the case, it seems like a part of you balked at the thought that he'd betray you like this. Even putting your annoying phantom feelings aside, it didn't make sense considering the High Lord has followed his word on letting you help in interrogating Norris. Your mind was fresh out of ideas, and much too tired to analyze that small argument. He'll tell you what happened eventually, and if he doesn't… Well, then it's a good thing you didn't get your hopes up even more.
“I'll fly you up to the House,” his voice was scratchy from not being used in so long, making it deeper as he almost whispered beside you, not wanting to disturb the quietness in the mountain. Azriel had done most of the cutting and breaking but he hadn't even asked Norris any questions, content in letting you and Rhysand take over the interrogation while he carved out Norris' skin. You can't be sure if it was because of your fight or just the grueling last few hours but he didn't seem to be in the best mood anyway.
You nod up at him, simply walking closer and letting him pick you up into his warm embrace, strong hands careful as they handle your body. You've only flown once - from what you can remember at least, you can't imagine a version of yourself who wouldn't ask her husband to take her flying regularly if he had wings - and, given the circumstances, you didn't really have the chance to stop and truly enjoy the moment. It would be the same now, even worse given the fact that you'd rather not deal with the shadowsinger, but the breeze hitting against your tired body sounded heavenly, and so did the big bathtub and soft mattress waiting for you up in your room. There was also no energy left in your body to even try to argue with him, if there was you would have been using it on your handler.
His body relaxes slightly when you simply slip your arms around his neck, his wings stretching and flapping a couple of times as he got ready to take flight. He looked like he was expecting you to refuse, as if there was any other way to the House besides flying and he wasn't the only Illyrian here.
The actual flight doesn't take long, within a few moments Azriel is gently setting you down back on your feet at the top of the stairs, hands lingering on your body as if moving on their own, a habit he can't quite break himself out of. You meet his eyes, briefly wondering if you should say something, debating if you have enough patience in yourself to extend a small olive branch to the male who is covered in the blood of your enemy.
He beats you to it, looking down before speaking as if he couldn't hold your gaze for top long - yet another way he's acting out of character. “You're free to do what you want. I'll meet you in your room and fly you back to the dungeon when it's time. I won't bother you before that.” The professional, detached tone in his voice makes your annoyance want to rise up but you swallow it down, realizing how tired you really were as soon as you had stepped foot inside the house.
“Alright,” you tell him before turning around and walking straight to your room, never looking back to see his reaction or the way regret flashes in his eyes as he watches your every step away from him.
Azriel stayed true to his word, only coming to check in on you right before it was time to return. You can't even be sure if he stayed in his room the whole time, if he truly spent these few hours resting as he was ordered since there was no sound coming from his room or around the house at all. Curiosity had gotten the best of you a couple of hours ago, when you woke up from your nap feeling strangely alone, like a piece of you was begging to go find him. This feeling was clutching at your heart for long enough that you actually considered going to find Azriel, but held on since you didn't fully know your way around the house and you had no idea where he could be. You didn't really know what to say either.
Luckily it wasn't long until you heard his footsteps getting closer to your room before a soft knock sounded at the door. He always does this, makes sure to let himself be heard before knocking. Sitting up at the edge of the mattress, you call out to him, wondering if he'll tell you anything now or simply fly you back to the cells.
As soon as his form comes into view you can tell he hasn't slept much if anything at all, dark circles prominent under his eyes. He's at least taken a bath, the sullied leathers were now replaced with new ones, the stench of blood not clinging to him anymore. You're wearing some yourself, your old ones as you've been told. Your clothes were ruined and putting them back on would defeat the purpose of the bath you took earlier, but it feels weird to wear a version of what you always see Azriel and his family in. He takes notice of this as well, hazel eyes raking over your form, lingering around your waist long enough for you to start feeling self conscious, standing up and taking a step closer to him almost involuntarily.
“Is anything wrong? I thought you left them for me to wear.” Since he had given you the leathers along with your old belongings you had assumed you were allowed to wear them, but, at this point, these clothes were more his than yours. Maybe he was scared you'd ruin them and he'd lose his memories of you.
“No, that's not it. They're yours,” he assures quickly, eyes widening slightly before a conflicted expression takes over his face. “The buckles are done wrong,” his observation makes you look down at yourself, there were more straps and buckles than necessary for any piece of garment and you'd taken a bit longer to figure it out than you cared to admit, apparently you should have taken even longer.
Your fingers reach for the straps around your waist, tugging at the leather before he continues, “I can help you with them. They can be hard to put on if you're not used to it.” When you look up from the confusing clothes and your eyes move to meet his, you find him watching your hands hesitantly, his own flexing at his sides. You end up agreeing without even thinking it through, something you almost regret when he walks closer to you and suddenly all you can see and smell is Azriel.
He looks into your eyes before reaching out to the buckles around your waist slowly, giving you a chance to push him away, almost expecting you to. You drop your hands at your sides awkwardly, not knowing what to do with them or yourself when he starts working on your leathers. Expert fingers undo the buckle before pulling on the straps, unexpectedly tightening your armor in the process which pulls a startled gasp out of you. His hands move to grab your waist, surprised by your reaction. Wide hazel eyes meet yours at the sound, a heat spreading within them the longer he holds your gaze, hands frozen around your waist.
All your senses are overwhelmed with him so close, staring down at you like that. The only thing you can think of is the kiss you shared a few nights ago, your entire body begging to repeat the action as he looks down at you with the same passionate look he had worn then. He seems to be reminded of the same, perhaps of similar moments from your previous life, even more scandalous ones surely.
Thankfully, some of your common sense finds you before you could do something stupid like pull him down to you and taste him again, the thought making you look away from him and clear your throat, hoping he breaks from the spell and lets you pretend it didn't happen. This prompts him to keep buckling the leathers, with an urgency he didn't have before, and you look down with him, following his movements even though your mind isn't actually registering any of them as you try to calm your breathing and not think of the way his hands feel around your waist. You'll likely need his help fastening everything tomorrow as well.
“These are meant to cross so the leathers are molded to your body and there are no openings,” he tries to explain as he finishes and moves back, but you can tell he's as affected by your little moment as you were.
You nod at him, “There were a lot of straps, I wasn't sure which ones belonged where. Some of them don't even look like they have a purpose,” you finish as you play with the straps around your wrists, the ones you really couldn't figure out.
“Those are for your gloves,” he explains, a somewhat endeared look crossing his face. “I didn't think you'd need them but you can put them on. Though I'm not sure how they will behave with your powers now.”
“Did I not have these powers before?” You hadn't thought of the possibility but if the spell could erase your memories maybe Norris could have found a way to give or take powers. Just the thought of it brings a chill down your spine.
“You did, but you've gotten a lot stronger,” there was a hint of pride in his words, though the somber meaning hung between you. No matter how hard you practiced and how well they could have trained you here, the results wouldn't be as fast or maybe as clean as the ones resulting from the guild's harsh training. The guild had no problem pushing you past your limits, you either adapted and got stronger or you'd die and be replaced. You suppose you never had to use your powers to torture people before either.
“When this all ends we could spar together,” you sound hesitant even to your own ears, “Maybe I'm even stronger than you by now.” You haven't talked about what will happen after all of this, you can't know for sure what you'll want to do when you recover your memories. You also keenly aware you had just been telling yourself you wouldn't make it easy on him, but ended up seconds away from kissing him and inviting him to spar with you as soon as you saw him.
“I'd like that,” he nods, a reddish tint rushing to his ears. He makes it unbearably hard to even remember why you were upset with him in the first place. It takes everything in you not to lean into his genuineness and forget it ever happened. You bite your lip and give him a small nod of your own, “Are you ready then? We should go.”
“I wanted to talk to you before we left,” his voice takes on a serious tone, regret peeking through every word.
“Maybe this is not the right time. They're probably waiting for us,” you offered, not really sure how to go about having this conversation after what had just happened, even if the curiosity was killing you. It was clear you couldn't keep a level head when it came to Azriel.
“No, I can't…” he cuts himself off, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh, a heavy sound coming from deep in his chest as if he’s been pushing it down for a long time. He looks scared somehow, his wings pulling in tighter to his body and his shadows crawling up his shoulders as if comforting, or even encouraging him. You let him find his composure, find the right words to explain the situation. This feels bigger than a silly argument when adrenaline was pumping through both your veins and that gnawing feeling in your chest comes back, getting stronger with every breath, making you think this might be something he's carried on from the time you were still married.
Azriel opens his eyes after a few moments, the emotions swirling in them enough to make you breathless, and reaches his hand out to yours, waiting for you to accept it and then squeezing it tight as if he needs the reminder that you're real.
“I need you to know I wasn't trying to keep any secrets from you or order you around as you said,” he starts lowly, shiny hazel eyes alternating between watching your hands clasped together and staring deep into your eyes, “We've had this conversation many times before. I know you don't remember but I need you to know I never meant to make you think I want to have any sort of power over you.” He brings your hand up to his chest then, spreading your palm right over his beating heart as he continues, eyes never straying from yours, “I know you can handle yourself, and I know you want to be there when Norris tells you everything. I wasn't trying to keep you away from the dungeon because I didn't think you could handle it.”
“Then why?” Your voice is but a whisper, not wanting to disturb the vulnerable moment.
“I never let you see me down there before, know the monster I have to become. You tried, many times, but I never allowed it. I've always been too afraid of what your reaction would be,” he presses his hand down on yours a little harder as his heart beat picks up, “It would kill me if you were ever scared of me, if you couldn't love me anymore after learning who I am. I was so scared of losing you. Scared that you would ever look at me with fear in your eyes instead of love.”
You let your gaze fall to the way he presses his and your hand to his chest, letting his heartbeat lead yours. It takes a moment for you to process his admission. From what he told you before you thought you had been open with each other throughout your marriage, but it seems there were parts of him he kept hidden even from you, especially from you.
Moments like these always leave you in a weird position. You can't speak for the old version of you, as much as you want to believe that you wouldn't leave him, would never feel scared of him, when your love for him transcended your memories as if it was written down into your bones, the truth is you don't remember her at all. Maybe she would have been scared, maybe his worries hadn't been completely unwarranted then. The thought leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
You turn your hand around, your palm no longer pressed against his chest in favor of holding onto his hand, your other hand joining in as you massage the rough skin and let them fall between you two, needing something familiar to ground yourself while you think of what to say. You twist his wedding ring around his finger once, closing your eyes at the tremble that runs through him at the motion, the way even his wings droop to the floor. The fact that he lets you touch him like this makes things so much harder sometimes.
“I've seen a lot of monsters. You're not one of them, Azriel. Far from it,” you start carefully, “and… I'm not sure how I was like before, if seeing you down there would have really been too much for me to handle but if I truly loved you like I think I did, then I know it wouldn't have mattered. There's nothing about you I see as unlovable.”
“Loved,” a broken mumble between you, not a question. This makes you look up at him. You want to deny it, tell him you still love him, but you can't make sense of the feelings inside you, can't say for sure what will happen to them when you regain your memories. Most of all, you don't want to hurt him, give him hope when he already lost so much, when you already hurt him so much.
You drop his hand, taking a small step back. “I'm not the same person you used to know, and recovering my memories might not bring her back either. Most of what's left is just my body.”
“It doesn't matter,” he says so matter-of-factly it almost makes you want to believe him.
“Azriel-”
“No,” he brings both of his hands to hold onto your face gently, giving you no option but to look into his eyes, “I love you. That didn't change when you died or over the century that followed, when I didn't think I would ever see you again. It didn't change when I saw you in the townhouse or even when you stabbed me. And it won't change whether you get your memories back or not, if you choose to stay or not.”
“I don't love you,” the words stumble out desperately, tears gathering in your eyes, “I don't even remember you, Azriel.”
“That doesn't change it either,” he smiles, thumb caressing your cheek softly. You know he means it then, know there's no way to change his mind even if for his own good. You can only pray to the Mother that your memories don't give you any unpleasant surprises. You're trying so hard to keep his heart safe, why must he keep offering to rip it out of his chest for you?
His expression changes abruptly as you're lost in thought and soon after you feel a presence in your mind before Rhysand's voice comes through. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Azriel's hands drop from your face then, a scowl overcoming his features. You can only imagine the words he's throwing at his brother in his mind, but Rhysand's voice returns, noticeably more amused, Our break is over. It's time to meet them back at the dungeon. I take it you'll fly our captive back? The answering growl that comes from the shadowsinger actually makes you hide a chuckle behind your hand. His gaze softening once again when he notices the gesture.
Despite the timing and the way he insisted on addressing you as “captive” to rile Azriel up, you could actually thank Rhysand for breaking you away from the moment. He's right, you've rested more than enough and it's now time to go back and finish what you started. You only have the luxury of dealing with your marriage after Norris is gone and you could actually remember your husband.
The flight to the dungeon is a lot easier this time as your prior annoyance was replaced with strangely welcomed awkwardness and a tinge of bashfulness. As much as you tried to deny it, you can't pretend Azriel's admission hadn't made your heart want to leap out of your chest. You don't think anyone could have remained impartial to such a confession, especially coming from a male like Azriel, but as soon as you step into the dungeon, you feel yourself morph back into the cold assassin. You could even feel Azriel's mask fall over his face as well, ready to resume what you'd started before.
This same routine is repeated for a few days, slowly but surely wearing the formidable assassin down. It wouldn't be long until Rhysand or Feyre could read through his mind completely even if he didn't willingly tell you anything. This sentiment was felt among all of you, it's like you could all taste how close he was to breaking.
You came back from one of your mandatory breaks to see Cassian leaning by the cell door, arms crossed over his chest, glaring at your prisoner as Amren stood in the middle of the cell covered in blood, a wicked grin on her face as Norris looked the most unsettled you'd ever seen him. She was told to hold back in the first days but since Norris insists on resisting, Rhysand had allowed her to toy with him. You truly hope you never cross her, just the thought of the things she could do makes every hair on your body stand.
Everyone stays in the room this time, knowing it's only a matter of time. Azriel takes over once more, every slash of his knife meant to give Norris unimaginable pain, completely focused on making the short remaining of his life as miserable as he can.
The difference between the male who had confessed his undying love to you, held your hand as if you were the most precious thing in this world, and the one expertly carving out your former handler's body was almost unbelievable. Azriel's face showed nothing but anger, and even then you knew it wasn't even a quarter of the seething fury burning inside of him. This wasn't your doting husband, this was the Spymaster.
You feel Rhysand's dramatic show of power before you see him walk into the cell, hands in pockets as if he was walking into his kitchen instead of a seedy dungeon reeking of blood and sweat. He passes by you and joins Azriel in tormenting Norris, letting sharp black talons run across the mental walls he's been so desperate to maintain. The smirk on his mate's face, who leans against the table calmly by your side, tells you they might even be teaming up on him.
Fatigue was starting to eat away at everyone the longer you spent inside the windowless cell, but, as Norris smirks lessened and his bared teeth stopped being enough to hide the obvious grunts of pain, his skin paling considerably as his blood pooled at his feet, it was clear that you were on the right track, only needed to keep pushing.
Your handler had started answering more questions too, if only to keep you distracted and away from any blades long enough. It's hard to believe that the male you've been frightened of for a century is the same one chained in front of you. If it weren't for the stubbornness and the pride he's managed to keep somehow, you wouldn't have believed it at all.
“This whole mission was a gamble. We couldn't know for sure if they'd written you off their wards even if they thought you were dead. When you walked in so easily I thought it would be a piece of cake from there. Seems I was wrong.” You had guessed as much. At the time, being sent to an unknown place on such short notice seemed strange and sloppy for how usually crafted the guild's plans were, but knowing what you do now, it makes sense. Not only were you written into the wards as he said, but if it hadn't been for the strange nostalgic feelings inside you, Azriel would have let you escape, you would have even killed him to do so.
“The spell should have sealed your memories and feelings tight,” Norris continues as if sensing your thoughts, “I'm not sure what is trying so hard to claw its way out from behind those walls.” He tilts his head to the side and pauses as if he found the answer and that self-assured smirk reappears on his lips. The sight makes your skin crawl, your powers reacting with you and sending an icy chill into the room. Temperature dropping as his smirk only widens even more and Azriel looks at you with a worried expression before catching himself. “Maybe I just messed up the spell,” he dismisses.
“What do you mean?”
“It is a tricky spell,” he shrugs nonchalantly, knowing that's not what you asked. Azriel moves before you, Truth Teller slashing across his skin for the millionth time, but Norris seems intent on keeping at least this last piece of information to himself. There's more to this, you know there is, but the interrogation moves on to matters of the guild. Rhysand is still worried that they will come for you now that you've deserted, and that they will bring harm to his beloved court.
Within the next few hours, Norris' healing stops being able to keep up with his injuries, even his voice losing strength. It seems like he was focusing the remaining of his energy on keeping his mental walls safe, but it's not long until you see Rhysand's smirk grow, a satisfied wicked thing on his face.
You watch as Norris' head goes limp, unfocused eyes dropping to the ground as the High Lord searches through his mind, probably making it as unpleasant as he possibly can. Your heart starts beating faster in your chest, anxiety building up at the thought that this could have all been for nothing, that Norris might not have the answer after all. You feel a hand on your shoulder but don't even have the mind to look back and check who is trying to comfort you.
When he finally steps back, he simply gives you a nod and a breath of relief escapes you as you stare back into Norris' eyes. You watch Azriel and Rhysand share a look in the corner of your eye, never daring to look away from Norris' defeated face. Within moments everyone starts clearing out of the cell in silence, leaving you and your shadowsinger standing over the prisoner.
It's only when Azriel's hand reaches for yours, tugging on it to get your attention that you look away. His eyes don't give away much and he doesn't say the words, but as he places Truth Teller in the palm of your hand, you know exactly what he means. He nods at you once and drops your hand, taking a step back and giving you space.
You look down at the dagger in your hands, the same one you had held to wound the male who now handed it to you, the one you'll now use to set yourself free. Describing the feeling running through your body is impossible, you always thought you'd die in the guild, as an assassin. Never even dared to think you could be more, never thought it would be possible to get out alive and find a life for yourself. You thought you'd be scared at the prospect but you can only feel excitement and relief.
Not wanting to waste any more time, you walk to Norris and pull on his hair to lift your face to his, so he can see all the hate and anger in your gaze before you stab the knife through his right eye slowly, making sure to get it through his brain, deep enough that no amount of healing or any trick he might have had up his sleeve would be able to save him, and twisting it around. You don't move for a few moments, listening for his heartbeat and paying attention to the blood seeping out of the wound. It's only when you're sure he's dead, that his heart is completely quiet and enough blood has poured out, that you pull the knife out with a squelching sound, flicking it down to get rid of most of the blood and any pieces of flesh stuck to it.
You hesitate for a moment before turning back, meeting Azriel's eyes. As much as you'd told him there was no need for him to worry of your opinion of him changing after witnessing what he did to Norris, of ever being afraid of him, you had hypocritically been scared of letting him see you like this, of seeing the cold blooded killer you had become, so far detached from the wife in his memories.
All your worries are proven baseless however. The only thing you can distinguish in his eyes is relief, at having the answer to getting your memories back and having the person responsible for your pain killed. You can't help the smile growing on your face, not caring for how it must look against the blood covering most of your body, and wrap your arms around Azriel's neck, pulling him down into a hug as a sigh of relief escapes you, tears rising to your eyes and flowing down your cheeks. His arms come around you immediately, tightening his grip on you and burying his face in your neck, tears of his own wetting your skin.
You're finally free.
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steviewashere · 1 day
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Loving Who You Are, Not What You Offer
Rating: Teen and Up CW: Referenced Rape/Non-Con (Not Between Main Pairing), Panic Attack (Sort of) Tags: Post Season 4, Post Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Steve Harrington, Coming Out, Protective Eddie Munson, Patient Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington Has Sexual Trauma, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Slight Comphet Steve Harrington, Dialogue Heavy
Okay, honestly, this one comes from a more personal place. So I'm gonna have to ask y'all to be kind about this one. I've recently come to terms that I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum and I just needed to apply that somewhere, so. Also, writing from Eddie's point of view rather than Steve's helps me, so I don't wanna hear shit about it.
Read the content warning one more time before you continue and let me know if I missed anything <3
🩵—————🩵 There was an uncovered layer to Steve Harrington, that much Eddie has deduced.
It’s a subtle, blink and you wouldn’t notice, kind of thing. But even this uncovered layer had layers. And he’s not sure if anybody else has caught on. He was able to catalog several odd things about Steve that just…didn’t match his character. Not at all. Which has led, though it started casually and accidentally, to Eddie making a whole new doctrine.
The Odd Steve Behavior Doctrine. With a few noticeable bullet points:
-Don’t touch him without asking -Don’t ask him about his sex life -Don’t talk about sex around him, at all -He especially doesn’t like casual intimacy -Earning Steve’s trust is like climbing up a rocky mountain
He follows these rules he’s made for himself. Tries to keep himself casual and known in Steve’s presence. And hopes that it’s enough to get Steve to crack, even the slightest. Maybe he’ll say why these things bother him, Eddie initially thought.
Maybe I’ll just keep my mouth shut and let Steve come to me in his own time, he eventually noted. Because he doesn’t need to be in everybody’s business all the time, which is a typical thing for Eddie. He likes being nosy and involved with the lives of people around him. He likes to think of himself as the person his friends can come to, no matter the reason or the intensity of their need. And maybe part of it is selfish, too. He can admit that to himself. That he, in turn, wants to be everything Steve needs at the end of the day. Bearing the brunt of all that Steve has going wrong or right in his life.
Things come to Eddie little by little from Steve’s mouth. None that answer to any of the bullets in his doctrine, but things that are important, too. Like confessions, moments that Steve saw as flaws.
“I called Jonathan Byers a queer in 1983. That’s why he beat me up. I deserved it,” he told Eddie one day. Casually, complete nonchalance, as easy as discussing the weather. Steve had been cradling a mug of coffee at their local diner. Picked at the pancake platter he ordered all for himself. And, at Eddie’s coming out (“I’m gay, Steve,” Eddie admitted quietly mere moments before. He brought up love lives. Was poking around what was going on with Steve’s. And casually, he realizes, it just came up.), Steve took a sharp inhale. Confessed this bomb of a statement. Grimaced at the memory that must’ve played out behind his eyes. Then, murmured, “But thank you for trusting me with that, Eddie. I just need you to know that I was somebody you wouldn’t before. In case that…In case maybe you wanna take back that trust. Wouldn’t blame you, that’s all I’m saying.”
Eddie sat in that for a good several moments. As they slurped at their room temperature, rather mediocre mugs of Joe. “I still trust you,” he eventually said, “You don’t have to keep proving yourself to me, you know?” Steve merely shrugged. And that was confessional number one.
Following that, Steve mentioned being tortured by Russians. Which, Eddie thought that was reason for him not liking touch. It may be part of the reason, but there was something to Steve’s eyes that told him that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Eddie didn’t ask. Steve didn’t elaborate. Tortured by Russians, beat up by his peers, chewed up like a dog toy, the list in Eddie’s mind of All the Bad Things That Happened to Steve was growing longer and longer by the day. But Steve was telling him things, letting him in. It was a start.
So, Eddie had two catalogs all about Steve to keep up with in his mind. All the Bad Things and The Do’s and Don’ts of Steve Harrington.
Being his friend was an earned thing and it was a pleasant thing, but it also broke Eddie’s heart bit by bit. He’d never admit to this, but he had to realize that at some point. He wondered if Robin ever felt the same. Maybe even Nancy. But he wasn’t going to ask. Because who asks something like that? Eddie won’t be the first, but it won’t be the last somebody thinks that, he’s sure.
Even though Steve was breaking through his own mold, cracking his mask, shattering mirrors of who he was, none of it actually answered any of Eddie’s don’ts regarding him. None of it eased him. None of it lended itself in any sort of way. If anything, all of these other greater things only added to the incessant itch that couldn’t be scratched under Eddie’s skin.
Who are you really, Steve, Eddie asked himself all too much.
He doesn’t want to upset the poor guy.
But he’ll never know, he’s coming to realize. It’s just not in the cards.
———
It comes to a head, because of course it does. And he didn’t mean for it to, but it just happens.
They’re hanging out at Steve’s new-ish apartment. Lounging around on his, frankly, ugly floral second-hand couch. It’s musty and not all that soft on the cushions, lumpy and shifting. But they make do with it as they have a movie marathon. Steve is sprawled between the far right and middle cushion, Eddie is leaning against the left arm rest, legs crossed one over the other, head in his hand. Then, his stomach grumbles all too loudly in a room full of droning noise.
He leans into Steve’s space slightly. Reaches out a hand and places it on his thigh. Squeezes Steve’s leg and opens his mouth to ask if he’s hungry. But, for some reason, Steve tenses to the extremes underneath his touch. His hands grip harshly to the back of the couch and the throw pillow near his head. Legs going taut and straining against Eddie’s touch.
“Steve?” Eddie calls softly.
“Stop,” musters from Steve. It’s tiny. Cracking in half. Brings tears to his eyes immediately.
Eddie furrows his eyebrows, though. “What?” He asks. “What am I doing?” There’s a thrum in his chest. Something unsettling and obtuse. It pulsates and shifts and bitters his throat the way acidic bile does.
With force Eddie’s only seen in the Upside Down, Steve latches onto Eddie’s wrist. Tight enough that Eddie has to bite back a yelp of pure and unadulterated pain. Nearly enough to break the bone that Steve’s thumb digs into. He shoves Eddie away with just his grip. Scrambles to the far corner of the couch, legs tucked in close to his chest, knees colliding with his chin. He wraps his arms around himself.
And then, the softest noise breaks through between them. It’s quiet, yet somehow louder than the tape playing. It works its way under Eddie’s skin. Into his stomach, through his throat, and into his brain. Steve’s gentle, manufactured cries. Stifled behind his lips. In real time, Eddie watches him shatter. The way his eyes gloss over, his cheeks going splotchy with the sounds, his shoulders shake.
“Woah, hey,” Eddie whispers, reaching out again. He wants to ground him. Wants to comfort the way he knows how. How he soothes Wayne’s panic episodes. And how he calms Dustin down from lashing out. Or when Robin talks herself in circles. Wants to just…be there. “Hey, Steve, are you—“
“Don’t touch me,” Steve bites out, “I don’t have anything—You—I don’t want to.”
Immediately, Eddie drops his hand to the now unoccupied middle cushion. The fabric meeting his palm. Going cold. Warm where Steve had just been relaxed. And Eddie—he may be a dastardly fool most days, dumb as rock the others, three time senior—knows exactly what he did, now that he’s focused on every small movement he makes. He’s perceptive to the way Steve is leaning as far away as possible. How crumpled he makes his body. Eddie notices how much space has been created and where his hands lie.
I’m so stupid, he thinks, that’s like rule one. 
Don’t touch him without asking.
“Fuck,” Eddie softly curses. He pulls himself away. To his own corner of the sofa. And swallows the bit of panic that rises in him. His eyes drift away from Steve’s fearful face, to his own hands. Twitches them in his lap, against his knees. Wants to cut them off. Throw them into a blender. Feed them to the birds. Something. But he forces himself to look back up.
Steve trembles against the couch. In a way that is not the Steve Harrington that Eddie met when fighting other worldly creatures. That dismantles everything and anything he once knew.
“Shit. I—Steve, I’m so sorry,” he quickly apologizes. “I’m sorry. I know that you don’t like that unless people ask. And I just—I wasn’t thinking, I promise. It was just—You know, I’m touchy with all my friends and I was just going to see if you wanted me to make some dinner or order some food. I was just trying to get your attention, y’know, and I didn’t mean anything by it. I promise, I swear. I swear on my mom, Steve. I would never—“ He takes a deep, gasping breath. Coughing on the inhale. His hands shake, now. And he doesn’t think he’s ever seen fear paint itself so clear and bright on a person’s face, but he’s looking into it. Steve’s pallor and yet still red cheeks. And his all consuming, though far away eyes. His built body, yet childlike hold.
A part of Eddie wants to cry, too. I’ve fucked up, he panics internally, I’ve fucked everything up and now he’s not going to be my friend and he was such a good friend, too. Why did I have to do that? I just wanted to make sure he was fed, too. That’s it. He’s such a good friend and now I’ve fucked it and I just—I—
“You wanted to make me food?” Steve quietly croaks.
Eddie, in an instant, nods. “Yes!” He exclaims in his own panic. “Yes, I swear, Steve. I wasn’t thinking when I touched your thigh. And I—What do you want to eat, Stevie? Say the word, I’ll find a way to make it or…something.”
His hands twitch in his lap once more. Thumbs catching on the ripped holes of his jeans. The threads soft and wearing away under his skin. The scratchy, dry bit of skin that peers through. He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t think he breathes. Just makes eye contact with Steve. Which, surely, is overbearing and unnecessary and…I’m probably freaking him out more, calm down. He takes a deep breath, blows it away from him, and lowers his shoulders from where he didn’t know they were hiking.
“It was nothing more than to check-in. I promise,” he reiterates, murmuring.
Steve, finally, draws away from himself. With his own breath. He unravels his legs, stretching them out to their full length onto the middle cushion. Arms going limp at his sides. Hands resting against his thighs. His eyes dart—left and right and left and right—between Eddie’s. Nods once. “Okay,” he meekly musters. “Okay, Eds. Can…We can order pizza. There should be a menu on the kitchen counter. I’ll—“
Eddie stands from his own cushion before Steve gets the chance to. “Nope, don’t worry about it. Just try and relax, yeah? I’ll go put in an order, pay for it. You…Pepperoni pizza?” Steve just nods, tentative and surprised. “Cool,” Eddie states, “I’ll be right back.”
The phone call goes by quick and he easily sets the money out for when the driver gets there. But he’s not entirely sure his presence is going to be a warm welcome in the living room again. He gets a glass of water anyway because, surely, Steve will tell him to go if he isn’t wanted.
Steve’s in the same position as when Eddie left. Though, his gaze isn’t entirely there. Somewhere beyond Eddie’s shoulder. But there’s a gleam, a little shine that tells him that Steve isn’t gone from himself, not yet at least. He sits back down in his own cushion. Glass on the coffee table. And turns, keeping himself tight to his own body.
“Hey, Steve?” He calls out, watching as Steve blinks sluggishly back into his body. “I—uh—I got you some water, if you want it. Drinking water usually helps me feel better after…After a down moment, y’know?”
Next to him, Steve hums. He sighs. “Can I trust you with something?” He asks, forgoing the water entirely.
Eddie nods in haste. “Of course, Steve. If you have something you have to tell me, I can keep things to myself,” he states. Which is one hundred percent true. He may be a loud guy, screaming and yelling when need be. May be somebody that fills a room with noise, if only so he doesn’t succumb to the silence. But he knows how to keep a secret. It’s sort of a survival tactic, is what he’d say if somebody asked him about it. He’s kept secrets about his parents, things behind lock and key in his ribcage. Granted, he may forget, but he won’t say a damn thing. And he surely won’t spill Steve’s beans, especially with the way he looks to him in open earnest.
“Okay,” Steve responds. His legs fall away from the couch and he rights himself into being completely upright. Ramrod straight. On the far right cushion. Mirroring Eddie’s tight pose. Feet flat to the floor. His eyes trace something on the coffee table, cracks probably, but Eddie can’t exactly tell. “Okay. I…You’re going to be the second person I’ve ever told this to, alright? And I—I figured that it would come out sooner or later, but you’re gonna need an explanation for whatever the fuck just happened. And I don’t know how else to talk about it without just going all-in. So…I just need you to listen. Can you do that?”
“Yeah,” Eddie murmurs, “you have the floor, Stevie. My mouth is shut.”
Steve nods slow, a ghost of a smile on his face. Breathes in through his nose, it traps in his chest and comes out as one gentle gust. He swallows heavily, words seemingly rising in his throat. And that smile falls away just as it sprung.
“In middle school, before I was popular and whatever, I had a group of friends that I ran with. We were all nerds, I won’t deny that. And—And I would involve myself with some of their interests, if only because I wanted to fit in,” Steve explains first. His eyes roam again. Not picking a spot, but Eddie won’t fault him for it. He continues, voice fracturing, “One of the guys I was closer to, we’ll call him R, he was interested in this club. It was kind of like a tech club? Focused on radios and channels and math and…Things that I was actually kind of good with, but needed a better understanding on. So, I figured, I’d sign up for this club. Go with my…friend.”
Before he goes on to say more, he leans over for the glass of water on the table. Holds it gently between his hands. Doesn’t take any sips. The condensation droplets roll down his fingers. Cold most likely keeping him grounded to the room.
Eddie can already tell he’s not going to like wherever this part of Steve’s past leads him. How Steve has to take breaks, it upsets Eddie greatly. He’s not sure he’s entirely prepared for whatever confession comes from Steve this time, but he’ll digest it. Get through this with the guy and figure out all he needs to.
Another steadying breath. And Steve’s voice is like gravel, but he keeps talking.
“It was a weekly thing. And we’d go in. Be taught about gadgets and whats-its and whatnot. R was there, though. He was always there. We’d talk, laugh, shoot the shit. Normal friend bullshit.
“One day, though. One day, something was…different. He looked at me. There was a sense of hunger. Want. A drive to him that I’d never seen before. He’d lean more into my space, drop his voice lower, whisper right into my ear.” Steve blinks in rapid succession. His breath keeps stuttering. And something in Eddie’s stomach sours. He goes, though. Pushing through. “I told him to stop. To knock it off. Kept telling him that I was trying to learn. That I wanted to focus. And he just…He wouldn’t,” he explains.
Eddie spikes with great unease and anger. Never at Steve. But whoever this so called ‘friend’ is, Eddie wants to maybe kill him. He keeps quiet, though. Steve wanted to share and he needs this out. And Eddie can listen. He can, even if it makes him want to cry, too.
“I thought that’s all it would be,” Steve speaks quietly, “Just him talking to me in this new tone. With this new level to his voice. But…I’m kind of stupid, I guess, so of course that’s not all he’d do. The next week at our club meeting, he got closer than before. He began to…” Steve stops and swallows. A single, silent tear crawls down his face. It doesn’t even phase him, the way crying usually does. It’s just background at this point. “…He began to—to touch me in ways I’d never been. And I—I told him to stop, I remember doing that. I remember putting distance between us. And saying no and saying stop and shoving his hands off me. But he just—“ A broken little sob. “—He was supposed to be my friend,” he states, small as a child.
The sobs rack Steve in such a way that his whole body is jolting with it. Nearly toppling off the couch. He chugs the water between cries, but doesn’t move from his spot. Tight and closed off within his own body.
“I wanted him to just be my friend,” Steve continues a moment later, nasally and choked. “But he didn’t want that. He kept overpowering every single decision I made. His breath on my earlobe. And his hands on my thigh, on my…He fucking touched my crotch. Tried to coerce me into having sex,” he spits. “That guy…He made me feel fucking disgusting. About my own body. About things I loved. About sex,” Steve growls, “Made me sort of dislike all those things, too.”
Eddie, for how loud he can be, is completely silent for once. Unable to form words. Not sure how to comfort. And if he could comfort, isn’t sure if that’s something he can do the way he wants to. He can’t touch. Can’t do what he’d normally do. And his body aches to take care of Steve or to simply hold him. To be…well, to be a friend. But that’s not something Steve can exactly trust.
He feels sick to his stomach.
The last bit of water is sipped at slowly, as Steve comes down. Then, he turns to face Eddie. Making direct and purposeful eye contact. “It’s not your fault, that I reacted like I did,” he states lowly. “And it’s not your fault that I close up when you want to talk about sex. Or you wanna talk about all that intimate shit. It’s something with me. Like something’s broken. It’s like a deep crack in me, Eddie.
“And I just wanted to clear up all that. Explain what I can, I guess.” He snakes out a tentative hand. It’s shaking and hesitant, but it still lands softly on the back of Eddie’s right. Squeezes. “But thank you for taking notice. And being concerned. And for apologizing. I feel safe with you, Eddie. I trust you a lot. Which is like—That’s probably highest honors you could earn with me.” And he chuckles slightly. It’s not a humorous thing, but it’s not exactly humorless either.
Eddie lets himself soak in this, though. Smiling warmly back at Steve. Because he needs it. They both need it. He murmurs, “Thank you for trusting me with that, Steve. That wasn’t easy and I’m proud of you for speaking up about it. I’m glad to be somebody you can trust.”
With another exhale, Steve relaxes back into the couch. His hand doesn’t move from Eddie’s. “I also want to say that you’re allowed to talk about your relationships with dudes,” he states quietly. “Seriously, I don’t mind. But just…Just check in with me? Before you do?”
“Of course,” he agrees instantly. “I’ll keep that in my noggin, promise, Stevie.”
Ghost of a smile on Steve’s face again. “Thanks,” he whispers.
A lull floats in the conversation. Steve removes his hand, watching as his fingers twitch, and there’s a little uptick to the corners of his mouth. Something pleased and almost…reverent at the way he looks at his hand.
Before Eddie can get up to change out the movie, he heaves a little sigh. And says, “Y’know, if you ever need any sort of physical comfort, need to talk about this, or you just need somebody to tell you that you’re okay, you can lean on me. Don’t even need to ask, really. I’m all arms.”
“I’ll think about it, Eds. This has been enough for me."
——— Steve comes out to him at the same diner Eddie did only a few years later.
It’s 1990, Eddie’s twenty-four and Steve’s freshly twenty-three. He has a certain spark to him. A sparkle to his smile and a pep in his step. And Eddie’s happy to see him happy.
Happy to eventually call their relationship romantic. Happy to share spots on the couch, curled around each other. Happy to kiss him slow and sweet or not at all, just able to gaze over coffee mugs and across the room and when Steve thinks he can’t be seen.
Eddie’s just happy to be allowed this love that fills his chest and in the colder, vacant spots of their lives.
But he realizes he still hasn’t heard everything about Steve. He gives it time, though. Because the second most important thing to Steve—first just being there for him—is patience.
The next of their chats happens when things get heated on the couch.
Soft kisses turn hungry, carnivorous. Hands wander over heated skin. Steve’s fingers against the hem of Eddie’s t-shirt. But his hands shake. And Eddie places his own hands off to the sides of the couch, pulling himself away before things can get any farther than they already are.
“Hey,” he softly speaks, “Steve, we don’t—I’m okay with just kissing right now. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
Steve stops next to him. Tensing up only slightly. “Are you—You’re sure about that?” His voice is so tiny, so unlike him. And though Eddie’s heard this tone before, it still breaks him.
He says easily, “I don’t want you to be scared of our first time, baby. It’s okay if we need to take things slow.”
He watches as Steve heavily swallows. “And if I asked if we never had sex?”
Eddie eyes him for a moment. Not wearily. With something like subtle pride. “Is that what you want?” He asks in turn. “Would that make you more comfortable?”
Subtly, Steve nods. “I—“ He sighs sadly. “I’ve been thinking about how to talk to you about it. With girls, I never even liked it. I just did it because it…There was something to say about a guy who could have sex with anybody he wants. But I also…I don’t know.” He shrugs as if trying to dismiss it, but Eddie doesn’t like that.
He sets a hesitant, soft hand on Steve’s shoulder. Squeezes when he doesn’t move away. “If you never want to have sex again, I’d be okay with that. I’d be more than okay with that,” he states assuringly. “You being happy and comfortable is what matters most to me. Not sex. I don’t give a shit about sex, not when I get to see you every day, smile on your face, and your eyes shiny and beautiful.”
Steve gives another small sigh, but the smile he has doesn’t waver. “Okay. I—Eddie, I don’t think I want to have sex,” he admits quietly. It shakes from his throat, but it’s still confident the way it lands between them. “It just doesn’t feel good to me. And I—I don’t want to force myself to do it. And it wouldn’t be fair to you, either.”
Another affirmative squeeze to Steve’s shoulder. “Alright, baby. Then we don’t have sex,” he agrees softly. “And if you ever change your mind—not that I’m forcing you to—then I’m okay with what you want.” He scoots himself closer so that their bodies are one single line, warm against each other. Reiterating, “Your happiness and comfort matter the most to me.”
With both of his hands, Steve wraps Eddie’s free one. Traces the veins on the back of his hand. Toys with his fingers. “We can still kiss, though,” he states quietly. “Maybe I want a kiss.”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Mhm,” Steve hums. So, he closes the gap. A wet peck to Eddie’s lips. Soft and venturing. One that last only a few seconds. He draws back with the softest smile adorned on his features. Murmurs, “Thank you for hearing me out on this. And for understanding. And for accepting this.”
“I love you, Steve. Just for you. Not the sex or touch. We could never do anything except sit next to each other and talk, and I’d still love you,” Eddie swears.
Steve sniffs something wet. Shoves himself a little closer, cuddling into Eddie’s chest. To which Eddie wraps his arms around his back in response. And he sighs, but it’s a sound of long awaited relief. “I love you, too, Eddie. God, I love you.”
The conversations are tough and they are stomach turning, but after it all, Eddie gets to have Steve. How he is. How he wants to be. And that’s all Eddie could hope for.
He kisses the top of Steve’s head and relaxes back into the couch. “I’m proud of you, Steve,” he murmurs, “Thank you for trusting me.”
“Thank you for being patient. Being here.”
Eddie squeezes them together even tighter. Warm in his chest at the content noise that draws itself from Steve. This could be all that they do forever and Eddie would never ask for more.
🩵—————🩵
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rocketbirdie · 2 days
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Memories.
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Before he could come up with an answer, though, Kunsel was hugging him. At first, it surprised him, though he didn't know why. Maybe just because the last five years had been completely devoid of positive touch like this. Maybe it was because he hadn't quite expected it. But either way, it was needed, and Zack felt himself sink into the hug almost immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend and burying his face in the other's shoulder.
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Am I lost? You're not lost, you know this place. See how you know this place? That's not right—
His panicked breath halts and the world shifts under his feet. Against the cracking ache and the fogged haze, he lifts his head and blinks into the shine of mako gold eyes. When did you get here? Kunsel has information and he sends it to you often. Leave, he's not important.
"Lost? Me?" His toothy grin sends a flare of pain behind his eyes. When have we met? You know him, like you know this place. "Kunsel, man, you know I've run around underplate a thousand times! Stop worryin'! I'll see you later, ok? Things to do, pretty girls to see—"
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Kunsel Zantos showed promise. That much had been obvious from day one of his formal recruitment; questionable background and motivations aside (that which, perhaps, had begun Tseng's careful monitoring in the first place). But in truth, the Turk had not expected him to last long. Bets placed against him for all manners of reasons/excuses, foolish enough to go poking his head in places they didn't belong.
And yet, here he was, stubbornly persistent despite it all.
The last time he had to deal with a SOLDIER directly like this? All those years ago. Alongside Zack. A case which had been pulled from its archival home to live under the watchful gaze of the leader of the Turks because of the very reckless idiot he was now working with.
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There was a comfort in physical contact that Aerith couldn't explain. It was always how she had been. But she bottled that for the sake of being heartbroken. The more Kunsel came around, the more that heartbreak lifted. The more she felt herself. The more she punched and pushed, teased and tapped. Invaded his space with those big green eyes and smiled at him as wide as she could...
She was happy.
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"...you're the only one that's left— you— you KNOW everything, and I know you have to live with that just as much as I do, but you've come back after all this time, and that's all you can say to me? 'Life isn't a game, Roche— life isn't a stage!' Then what am I supposed to make of it, huh? Play the loyal little hound like you? Bow down and kiss some Shinra ass while I'm at it? Abandon who I am; what my heart tells me to do? You're no better than those goddamn Turks."
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Thank you for the commission! 💜
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toasttt11 · 3 days
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September 2, 2021
Luke ran a hand through his hair and tiredly stumbling to the outside of the lake house seeing Sebastian sitting at the dock looking out at the water.
Luke grabbed the blanket hanging on the back deck and walked down the stairs and down the hill onto the dock and plopped down next to his best friend and threw the blanket over the both of them.
Luke has noticed something off with his best friend the last few days and knows something had been bothering him.
Sebastian didn’t even notice that Luke sat next to him to lost in old memories.
October 28, 2008
Five year old Sebastian giggled as he was knelt down on the grass in the backyard of his childhood home, he gently picked three tiny yellow flowers and held them in his tiny hand.
“Sebby!” Jennifer called out from the back patio knowing her youngest son is still outside and it was time for dinner.
“Coming Mama!” Sebastian gently yelled back and quickly jogged to the patio straight to his mother with a beaming smile.
Sebastian ran right into her legs hugging them tightly, Jennifer fondly smiled and rubbed the back of her darling boys head.
“I got you a present!” Sebastian looked up at her grinning and gently put out his hands with the flowers he picked.
“Oh Sebby darling they are perfect!” Jennifer smiled widely and gently took them from her sweet son’s hand, She leaned down picking him and pressing multiple kisses to his cheek, “Ready for dinner?” She asked him as she carried him inside.
“Mhm.” Sebastian mumbled resting his head on her shoulder and staring to fall asleep in her arms.
Sebastian blinked out the memories feeling Luke nudge him gently.
“Are you alright Sebby?” Luke looked at him in concern and Sebastian kinda nodded.
“You know my mother left right.” Sebastian stated to Luke, Luke’s eyes widen as Sebastian doesn’t ever talk about his mother but nodded.
“Her relationship with Dad was bad for a good while before we moved to Michigan and they were always arguing over something, most the time it was because she wanted more money to go shopping.” Sebastian let out a breath shaking his head, he’s never talked about this to anyone but it’s Luke. Luke scooted closer so their elbows and shoulders were touching.
“It was like she changed one night from the mother we knew to someone else. And then one day we woke up and she was gone.” Sebastian swallows harshly, “We found out she was having an affair for a long time as long as she was acting different.”
Luke frowned hating this lady for hurting Sebastian so much.
“It was hard when she left. Dad was emotional gone, he was heartbroken from her leaving and it was worse when he found she was cheating for months. He didn’t get any better until he started talking to Emily.” Sebastian explained, Emily his stepmother, also the reason his dad and older brother moved back to Massachusetts and why Sebastian lived with the Hughes.
“Micheal was obviously hurting but he did that by pushing everyone away and it caused strain on our relationship that’s never been fixed and Matt was trying to act happy and nothing has happened. She broke our family when she left and know she’s got a new family with the man she cheated with and has got step kids now.” Sebastian scoffed out an angry breath blinking to keep the tears in.
“Why can’t anyone just want to stay.” Sebastian whispered, His mother left for a rich man and a new family and his dad left him Michigan for a new wife, two step kids and a newborn son.
Sebastian shoulder trembled and Luke frowned quickly wrapped his arm around Sebastian’s shoulder and pulled him closer, “Let it all out, it’s just me.” Luke soflty whispered and it seemed to break the dam holding Sebastian’s waterworks.
Sebastian’s sobs were quiet but his whole body shook with the weight of them, he’s only cried once since everything has happened and it was the day his mother has left, he’s been holding everything but the anger in for years.
“I’ve got you.” Luke softly cooed and gently brushed Sebastian’s back and just held him letting him cry it all out.
Sebastian stayed in Luke’s arms for a long time just crying out all of the sadness and heartbreak before he finally started to calm down and his sobs slowing down.
Luke waited until Sebastian calmed down before gently grabbing his face and pulling it up so they held eye contact, “She’s a bitch for leaving Sebastian. And your dad is a jerk too for leaving.” Luke firmly spoke, he remembers how much he hated how devastated Sebastian looked after he found his dad and brother were moving back and with a new family.
“It doesn’t matter about them anyways, you never did anything wrong and they were stupid to leave you.” Luke reassured him, “But you always have a family with us. Dad doesn’t let anyone touch his grill but loves it when you help him. Mom loves everyone but absolutely adores you and literally always asking about you when you’re gone. Quinn rarely likes anyone but i’ve seen him treat you just the same as he treats Jacky and i, he thinks of you as a brother. And Jacky loves everyone but he is so protective over you and will never let anyone say anything that isn’t nice about you, he doesn’t do that for many.” Luke fondly told Sebastian everything.
Sebastian let out a watery chuckle, truthfully he feels more at home and with a family with the Hughes then he does with his own family and he is glad the feeling is reciprocated.
“Okay.” Luke checked and Sebastian nodded, “If you never want to go back to them you don’t have, you always have a home here.”
Sebastian smiled softly and nodded and pulled his best friend into a hug, “Thank you.” He mumbled.
“Always.” Luke promised and hugged him back.
Sebastian did find a home, just in Luke, and he found a family in the Hughes.
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munson-blurbs · 1 day
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Hey, I love your writing so much! If you’re taking requests I’d like a short fic about reader mourning the loss of their dog? I just lost my girl Sasha and would like a comfort fic , Eddie or Steve, either is cool with me- phantom
Hi, love 💚 I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and I hope this fic helps you through the grieving process. I went with Eddie for this one.
TW: death, loss of a pet, grief CW: 690
--
It feels like it should be raining. 
The sun hangs high in the sky, a gentle breeze blowing every so often. The weather gives no indication of any impending storm, not even a hint of gray in the white clouds. But to you, there’s a darkness that even the brightest light can’t repair. 
There will be no more wagging tail and excited barking to greet you when you come home. The realization cleaves your heart clean in half. 
Tears burn at your eyes and you let them fall, sliding down your cheeks and plopping unceremoniously onto the concrete stoop beneath you. 
“Hey.”
You look up and see Eddie standing in front of you, a cellophane-wrapped bouquet of daisies in his grasp. 
“Hi.”
The wrapping crinkles under his fingers as he sits beside you. He scoots close enough so you can rest your head on his shoulder. An ugly sob escapes you in a dramatic heave, but he refrains from commenting. In fact, he doesn’t say anything at all. 
You bask in the comforting silence, no expectations to talk or bare your feelings. Eddie presses a kiss to your forehead and sighs. 
“Can I say something?” He asks, and for the first time, you notice that he’s been crying, too. When you nod, he softly says, “She was a really good dog. The best, actually.”
“Mhm.” You don’t dare open your mouth for fear of starting up the waterworks again. 
“I keep thinking about the time I brought over burgers from Benny’s,” he continues, “and I left them on the counter for two seconds, and she tore into them.”
You scoff lightly. “It was more than two seconds.”
“Okay, well, I didn’t time it or anything. But it was fast. Like, lightning speed.” He taps his toe, knee brushing against the flower stems. “These are for you, by the way.”
Taking the daisies from him, you hold them to your nose and inhale. Fresh, new, alive. The juxtaposition has your chin wobbling embarrassingly. “Th-Thanks, Eds.”
Another pause, then: “Y’know, I lost a pet once, too.”
You swivel around, eyebrows pinched together. “I didn’t know Wayne let you have a pet.”
“He didn’t. I had to keep it a secret.”
“How did you manage to keep a dog a secret?” It’s not as though he and his uncle lived in a mansion; the tiniest Chihuahua could be easily spotted in their trailer. 
Eddie grins. “Who said anything about a dog?”
“A cat?”
He shook his head, giving the same response for your guesses of rabbit, lizard, and bird. 
“Do I even wanna know?”
He presses a hand to his heart in feigned offense. “I can’t believe you don’t remember Ant-chovy.”
You burst out laughing despite the weighty grief bogging you down. “Are you seriously comparing the death of my dog to the death of an ant?”
“He was my friend!” Eddie retorts. “And he was murdered right before my very eyes!”
You knock your shoulder into his with a playful shove. “Weren’t you the one who stepped on him?”
He scowls and plucks the bouquet from your hands. “I bring you flowers in your time of need, and you mock me?”
A smile tugs at your lips. “My deepest apologies. And my condolences for the loss of your dear friend, Ant-chovy. Who certainly was not an ant and who you definitely knew for more than five minutes.”
“Thank you.” Eddie gives you back the daisies; this time, he leans his head on your shoulder. “You’re gonna get through this.”
“Feels like I’ll be sad forever.”
He nods. “I know. But you won’t be. And I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to fuck off.”
You take a deep breath. “Is it okay if we talk a little bit about her? Like, share memories of her? Just for a little bit?”
“Course it’s okay.” Eddie smiles, coaxing the emotions from you without even trying. “You wanna go first?”
You do. With each word, the sunshine doesn’t sting quite as harshly; the blue sky seems less out of place. And should the rain start to fall, you will always find shelter in Eddie. 
--
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tunastime · 2 days
Text
Restful Dreaming, Mr. Freelancer
hi everyone :3 so um. I may have gotten very much into rvb smiles. and you know what happens when I really love something! and when I really love some guys from a something! yeap. here we go again. I just think caboose could be friends with everyone. I'm a caboose enjoyer what can I say. I love him.
Washington follows the Blue Team back to Valhalla, where he tries to get some much needed rest. Emphasis on tries. (3828 words)
When Tucker and Caboose find the unused, fourth room in the base, it’s Tucker that sweeps his arm out and gestures grandly to the room around them. It’s not very large—bed, closet, table, desk, bathroom. Enough space to walk around in—enough blue-white light to make sure nobody goes insane in somewhere so dark. Caboose goes on about how they’re almost neighbors, listing off what they could do being so close, gossip and sleepovers and the like, and Tucker goes on about how that’s nice, Caboose, and sure thing, buddy, and both speak to a Wash that’s not listening. He’s looking over the room, filtering in through a fine layer of yellow, just enough to change the hue from cool to warm, and something settles in the slope of his shoulders. He turns after a beat, folding his arms.
“You’re certain I can stay here?” he asks. Tucker shrugs.
“Yeah, I mean…” he starts, in the way that Tucker always seemed to do when he was on the edge of a decision that ultimately made him uncomfortable. “Just repaying the favor. Plus you’re the only one who really knows how to get Church outta that thing.”
“Epsilon,” Wash corrects. “And it’s a memory unit, not a thing.”
“Sure,” Tucker shrugs. “Whatever.”
“We still don’t know where that thing is,” Wash says, but it’s without any of the usual bored sting he might’ve normally laid on. He can feel the worry in the room like water around the ankles, like it invaded his boots. He steps side to side for a moment, trying to shake the feeling.
“We’ll find it!” Caboose pipes up, nodding several times. “We’ll find Church. I know we will.”
Wash sighs. 
“Yeah,” he says. “I hope so.”
There’s a beat of silence. Wash feels his lungs work against the tight feeling in his shoulders all the way up until the point where Caboose breaks the silence.
“I’m going to go make lunch,” he says. “I’m starving.”
“Good point, Caboose,” Tucker agrees. He turns to Wash as he adds: “You, uh, let us know if you need anything. You’ve got the tour, now, so…”
Wash nods.
“Right,” he manages. “Thanks.”
“Sure thing.”
The silence leftover is mostly full of the sound of air circulating through the room and pulling into his helmet. Washington stands in the room in that long moment, finding his head spinning just enough to rock his balance. He’s not so sure he should even be standing, but Tucker had handed him enough med-kits to keep him running, and his bones felt mostly in place, despite some nasty bruising up his shoulder and back, all the way down his right hip and thigh and knee. He pulls himself from his stuck spot, finally gathering the strength to unlatch his helmet. Both thumbs hook under his chin until it clicks, and he sets it in the armor stand. 
The thing about the armor is that they’re not necessarily supposed to take it off. It does come off, huge chunks of titanium alloy perfectly compressed to fit each wearer, to sit comfortably against layers of computer arrays and magnetic fasteners, bolts and straps and sealers. As soon as he starts pulling, chest pieces and arm braces come loose, and he sheds the exosuit slowly. Underneath is the cool-black bodysuit. That’s the part that really shouldn’t come off. It did, every once in a while, when there was enough time to spend recalibrating, readjusting, resyncing. The suit and all its layers, down to the skin, down to the channel of his spine, from tailbone to nape of neck, aligned with sensors and biocomponents along a fine, white scar to a thick, but equally healed one at the base of his skull, took time to adjust to. That time was precious.
But it didn’t matter with this suit. There was no connection. The suit would simply communicate without having to know, would respond to forces it knew best, and rely on what he had without a physical, grounding connection. He was free of it. The scar and its components would fade from his body. They’d be nothing but a memory.
Carefully, Wash dissects the titanium bodysuit—kevlar—coming apart at the seam, carefully fastened, skin-tight. It’s uncomfortable at first, adjusting to the air of the base, without the suit’s micro-adjustments for temperature and humidity, but he eventually shirks free and places everything in the armor compartment. 
He feels light. He also feels exposed and a little small. He searches for any sort of replacement, sleeping clothes, uniforms, anything plastered with UNSC across the arm or chest or back. When he does find it, he’s quick to pull it on and over his head. The shirt falls crooked across him, pants similarly too large, and he has to wonder what sort of Spartan these were made for, knowing how he certainly wasn’t the smallest soldier he’d met. It’s something, though, and he doubts he’ll be wearing it for very long. In fact, he finds himself tugging it off as soon as he figures out the shower, and douses himself in hot water long enough to get the plastic smell off his skin. 
Without the shadow of the day, his reflection in the mirror takes on a sunken quality. His eyes are dark and tired, lines stretching out underneath them, and the already-pale, now-bony quality of his face does little to hide it. He’s turned all sharp angles all too quickly. But if he’s got anyone to bitch to it would be himself. Well, maybe Caboose and Tucker would listen. But they probably wouldn’t understand. Epsilon might’ve ratted out his bad sleeping habits to Caboose, were he still around to actually see them. But he very well was half the reason they existed, so, touche. 
Besides, now Wash was looking out on a bed that was impossibly too big for him. He pulls back far too many layers of blankets and pushes aside pillows and makes himself a space between it all.
The lights are dim, casting long, fine shadows in the cool light. They dim further to a blackness as he settles, lying back in the few pillows and pulling still-starchy sheets around him. His tired body all but sinks into the mattress, body aching at every joint from overuse, begging to stay and to be comforted. It's there he lies for a moment, adjusting to weight and pressure, air and texture around him. He sighs. It’s the longest exhale in what feels like a very long time. The back of his throat, up through his nose, starts to burn. 
He squeezes his eyes shut. He takes a sharp breath in.
Washington’s hands come up on instinct, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes as he fights back a sound from deep in his chest. It’s hard—it feels so stupid to call this hard, because he could just crack, just for a second. Just for a moment of relief, and—he does, shutting his eyes tight still and willing in a breath through his nose as he turns his face into pillows that he hopes were nobody else's and probably never were and never would be again. Nobody knows he’s alive. Not Command, not Project Freelancer, not the Meta—Maine. Not even Epsilon. For now. The weight of his shoulders was so instant it nearly winded him, on a bed seemingly too large. It was simply him, unshackled, and the blue-white armor in its case, and Caboose, and Tucker. And the base around him was quiet.. 
Washington lets his body relax. Sleep comes like a heavy blanket.
His second week’s worth of sleep doesn’t go as well. Tonight, Wash is still awake. It’s not of his own choice—if it were he’d already be asleep, curled into the plush pillows and firm mattress. He stares up at the ceiling. His eyes are dry, and it’s not all that comfortable to blink, actually. He’d prefer to focus on sinking into this nice bed, but he’s having a bit of a hard time. What he means by nice bed is that he’s gotten so used to sleeping on the ground or in the back seat of a moving Warthog or the jet or his cot so folded and unfolded that it stopped being comfortable, or the bunk that was just the right size but not nearly deep enough to fit him without moving, that having actual room to move around is really good. It’s really good, actually, and he’s not sure when the last time he had such a nice sleep was. 
He’s not even sure when he woke up that first day, aside from the fact that it was Caboose waking him up and it was still dark out—or had just gotten that way. Maybe he’d slept that whole day. But he wandered around the Valhalla base instead, swallowing down the ache low in his spine. He mapped the rooms in his head, twisting around the circular hallways. Kitchen, armory, five rooms, garage, a small central living quarters that remained barren and empty, aside from bits of broken computers, radios, and robot parts. The floor still smelled like cleaner, remnant from the UNSC’s thorough cleaning.
Anyway—he’s still awake in his own room. His eyes hurt. He’s looking into the dark grey ceiling and wondering if sleep might crawl its way back to him when there’s a knock on the door. There’s a brief pause before it happens again. He frowns, scrubbing at his eyes as his brain fights the fog settling over it.
“Agent Washington,” a voice says, feigning a whisper through the sliding door. 
“Caboose?” he whispers back, furrowing his eyebrows. Isn’t it late? He looks over to the bedside table, reading the dull red numbers on the clock—yeah. Late. “What are you still doing up?”
He hears Caboose sigh. If he thinks hard enough he can imagine him leaning against the metal frame, cheek pressed against the door, looking about as pathetic as he sounds.
“I can’t sleep,” he says, part tired and almost part sad. 
“Why’s that?”
“I—” Caboose lowers his voice even further. “I had a nightmare.”
Wash blinks slowly, sitting up, eyebrows still furrowed as he frowns. He counts himself lucky that his head isn’t spinning from lying down too much. Sighing, he presses his fingers to his eyes, rubbing the sleep from them, trying to make the blurry room come back into focus.
“You—” he tsks as he words jumble in his brain, hazy with sleep. “Why did you come here?”
“Can I come sleep with you?” Caboose asks, completely ignoring the previous question. Heels of the hands to his eye sockets. Alright. Fine. He waves uselessly at the door, knowing full well Caboose can’t see him. Then it clicks in his brain: response. Right.
When Wash goes to give him an answer, it’s replaced by the sound of his bedroom door sliding open and shut and Caboose wandering in. The muddled dark obscures his silhouette more than usual and the normally wide slope of his shoulders was much more drawn in than Wash was expecting. He’s partially shrouded by his own blanket, wrapped around him as he steps in. 
Wash feels something rolling around in  chest as he watches Caboose shuffle over, like his brain isn’t absorbing the situation properly. He mostly just feels lost. He’s still sitting up, slouched forward, mouth a fine line. His arms pool in his lap, head tilted just so as he observes Caboose in front of him. This is weird, right? Not in a bad way. It’s just weird. 
Caboose stands there, frowning just a little bit, enough to almost be a pout, mostly looking at the bedside and not at Washington.
“I—” Wash starts, trying to protest. Caboose looks up at him for a moment with wide, brown eyes, and Wash feels his chest tighten. He shuts his eyes, sighing out of his nose. Then he pulls the covers back, gesturing vaguely to the space next to him as he lies back down. If there was one thing he’d learned from Caboose, it was that there was no arguing a point once he’d made his mind up. He was as stubborn as he was strong, and the man wasn’t slight. 
There’s a beat of silence as Washington gets comfortable again against the mattress again, feeling Caboose move to his left. He worms around a bit, knee bumping the outside of Wash’s leg, elbows knocking together as Caboose makes more of Wash’s bed his own space. With Caboose’s arm now pinning his own, he clears his throat.
“Caboose,” he says firmly.
“Washington,” Caboose says, like his name holds the same weight as it did so long ago. At least someone’s impressed.
He sighs. Caboose is a heavy, warm weight against his side, and although he clings to his left arm like his life might depend on it, Washington couldn’t necessarily call it bad. 
“You can either get comfortable,” he says slowly. “Or I’m going to ask you to leave.”
“Okay,” Caboose says quickly, wriggling further over. As his head lolls, it falls against the bone of the high of Wash’s shoulder. He ends up curled up in the space Wash’s side leaves open, head on his shoulder and arm over his ribcage. He’s heavy, holding himself and Wash to the mattress as he relaxes. Wash’s arm ends up pinned under him, bendable at the elbow, enough to shift around and find a comfortable spot to rest it. Caboose manages to pull the blankets over them both haphazardly, lying part on him and part over Washington’s torso. He squeezes his eyes shut. Caboose cannot be serious. This can’t be his solution, right? He takes a long breath in. Caboose finally says:
“Thank you, Washington,” in a soft and sleepy voice mostly muffled by his shoulder.
Washington sighs.
“Sure, Caboose,” he says, resigned. “Glad I could help.”
Caboose hums, sounding comfortable. In the time it takes for Caboose to finally knock out, how short of a time that was, Wash finally relaxes. He lets the weight around him settle him on the mattress, tired and heavy, and lets his eyes close. He can’t catch the edge of sleep just yet, but he can lay here, quiet and still, so that Caboose can sleep. He matches the slow rise and fall of Caboose’s shoulders, feeling his muscles slacken as he drifts off. Maybe it’s nice, actually. The weight against his side, pressure to the muscles that ache, warmth and heavy comfort. He can’t remember the last time someone shared the same bed space as him—those bunks were too small to really fall asleep next to somebody in, and sleeping in shifts wasn’t the same as someone sleeping against you. 
He can faintly feel where Caboose’s cheek is crushed against his shoulder, where his arm rests over his chest, hand tucked against his other side. When he looks over, Caboose’s eyes have shut, face relaxed in sleep. There, he leans, pressing his cheek to the top of Caboose’s head, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe it is nice. Maybe being needed for something so innocent as comfort could be nice. His chest twists, something as painful as it is warm weaseling up next to his lungs. 
It reminds him of Invention. Nobody really wanted to leave York alone after the accident on the training room floor. He could fall or trip, he could miscalculate and hit into something harder than expected. They spent time crammed into the bunk spaces, shoulders to shoulders, to hips, to legs over knees, trying to catch sleep in between missions, how little time that was. Washington found himself in these moments more often than not, and now more than ever it seemed that touch was a thing not often disseminated. But he had it now, and he let himself have it. He let Caboose snore into the hollow of his shoulder and tuned it out as he tried to rest.
In the morning he’ll ask him what bothered him so much that he couldn’t sleep, or why he thought Wash could help. It wasn’t important now. 
For now, he just tries to sleep.
Wash feels heavy. 
He blinks his eyes open, the world coming to in barely-there light and soft blankets. There’s a weight over him, warm and solid. Caboose still sleeps soundly even as Wash shifts to stretch pins and needles from his left arm. The world stays still, held in a quiet balance. In it, Caboose breathes slowly and evenly against his shoulder, torso still haphazardly thrown across Wash’s chest. He’s curled his hand in a loose fist, snagging part of Wash’s shirt. 
Washington sighs. There lingers a heavy, groggy feeling over his mind that he thinks he’ll have a hard time shaking, remnants of running too hard, too fast without stopping. He fought so hard only to again come up empty handed, aside from the now-bitter taste of his freedom. But for now he focuses on this moment. He rests his cheek against the top of Caboose’s head. 
As he does, Caboose hums, waking enough to tense and relax again.
“Good morning, Caboose,” Wash manages tiredly, lying still. Caboose doesn’t move either, except to shift his cheek to a more comfortable position.
“Hello, Washington,” Caboose says, slow and sleep-thick but cheery. “You let me stay!”
Wash huffs out something, maybe a laugh and maybe a sigh.
“You’re surprised?” Wash asks, staring at the ceiling. It takes a minute for Caboose to answer, and in that time, Wash’s eyes shut, too heavy to hold open. Caboose draws his arm back from his chest.
“Tucker’s not very cuddly,” he says, only partially answering the question. “I can’t really judge if people will like it.”
“I take it not many do?” He asks. Caboose shrugs, somewhat stilted, speaking in that long, sighing way that he does.
“It varies.”
Wash hums.
“Right.”
In a beat of silence, Caboose unravels himself. He sits up, swaying a bit, shuffling around. It leaves a cold hollow where he used to lie, and Wash pulls his arm back from where it used to curl around him. He folds his hands over his sternum as Caboose sits up and shifts back.
“How did you sleep!” He asks, leaning forward, arms resting on his knees. Wash nods, finally blinking his eyes open.
“It was fine,” he says slowly. “How did you sleep?”
Caboose shrugs again.
“I slept okay—” he says. “You scared off all my bad dreams I think.”
Wash snorts, furrowing his eyebrows. Caboose blinks down at him with wide eyes. It’s almost catlike, the way he watches over him, like he’s waiting for Wash to reach out and force him to move out of his space. He’s still slightly blurry, courtesy of the sleep in Wash’s eyes.
“I did?” Wash asks. Caboose nods, looking sincere
“Yep.”
Wash looks away, huffing out. Something turns in his chest, warmly at that.
“Well that’s good,” he says. Caboose nods again. He’s just far enough away that in the dim lighting Washington can’t really read his face, but it seems soft and comfortable and Wash tries to remember if that’s a good thing. There’s only so many times you see someone’s face while being out in the field that you sort of just learn reactions based on tone and less on body language. After a beat, Wash says, haltingly, brain trying to find the words:
“Caboose, what… what is it that you had a nightmare about? What—why did you come to me?”
Caboose shrugs, waving his hands back and forth. He’s not looking at him.
“Oh, you know, just about Church and Epsilon, and Tex, and you, and everyone dying and exploding and dying again,” he sighs, shoulders falling, looking distinctly less bothered than Wash expects him to be. It puts something cold-to-cool in the pit of his stomach. “But it’s okay, you’re still here! And nightmares are afraid of you.”
Wash swallows.
“Oh,” he says lamely. It doesn’t feel right, all of a sudden, to just be sitting here. Caboose tilts his head at him.
“Did you have a nightmare, Agent Washington?” he asks, leaning forward a bit. He squints at him. Wash stares back, eyes wide. “You look kinda pale.”
“Um, no,” he says plainly. “No I don’t… normally dream.”
“Oh,” Caboose says. His face drops. “That sounds sad.”
Wash shakes his head.
“It’s fine.”
Caboose hums, tapping his hands on his knees.
“You can tell me if you ever have a nightmare,” he says, smiling, a pleased look crossing his face. “I can come and scare it away.”
Wash snorts, a smile creeping onto his face. He folds his hands together, tracing out the edge of his thumb with his other thumb. He furrows his eyebrows as he looks up at Caboose.
“Are you looking for an excuse to sleep next to someone?” He asks, a curious lilt to his voice. Caboose blinks, eyes falling to his hands. He shrugs.
“No…” he says. Then, “Maybe.”
“Well it…” Wash sighs, shutting his eyes again. “It was nice. Thank you, Caboose.”
“Mhm,” Caboose says sleepily.
There’s a moment of silence. Wash moves to get more comfortable, shifting back to rest his head properly on the pillows. He can feel his body sag as he does, that tired tug pulling on his shoulders and hips and eyes. He drums his fingers against his sternum, watching Caboose. Caboose’s eyes slip shut for a moment as he leans hand against his hand. 
“I’m uh…going to try to get some more sleep,” he finally manages, clearing his throat. Caboose stays still, as if he’s fallen asleep again, shoulders weakly rising and falling as he breathes. “Caboose?”
There’s no answer. Caboose leans sideways as Wash goes to reach for him, folding like he’d lost all his core stability. As he crumples, he falls forward, half onto Wash in front of him, half into the bed itself.
“Caboose,” Wash tries again. Caboose doesn’t move, sinking further into his side.
Wash sighs. Caboose stays, solid and heavy and thrown over his chest. He feels like a little kid again, sharing a room with his sisters, or he feels like it’s some time back in training, both cats making their home on his chest. Caboose was kind of like a cat. If a cat were a dog, were late to the punch, were the same level as unable to catch the joke as he was. It was kind of sweet. Wash shifts him ever so slightly, until he’s leaning into his side again, head against his shoulder.
Caboose yawns, sighing out against his shoulder, shuffling to get comfortable. Wash curls his arm over his back, hand cupping around his shoulder, smoothing his thumb over the seam of his shirt. Caboose makes a little noise, a little sigh, and falls quiet. The world, too, is warm and quiet. Somewhere in that warmth, a soothing feeling washes over him.
Just a little more sleep, he thinks. Then he’ll get up.
31 notes · View notes
yuri-is-online · 9 hours
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Ooohhh any head cannons with malleus! Yutu and how diasomnia reacts to them?
Ah yes the banished Prince.  I was wondering when I was going to get an ask about him, and I admit I am a bit surprised it was only the one unlike a certain other prince. It's rather fitting to come back to Yutu posts with him though, there's a great deal of tragedy to be had with Malleus in this ayuu.
notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. SPOILERS FROM BOOK 7 ON HOW DRAGON FAE REPRODUCE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
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I've mentioned it before but Malleus! Yutu plays by half elf rules.  He's very young looking, he's around the same age that Yuu is, whatever you think that is, but he looks around 15 at most and shares his father's eyes and teeth.  Even in your world he had a reputation for being quite baby faced, this annoys him quite a lot, though he keeps his outrage to a brief pout if the person talking about it is Yuu.
Yuu remembers Malleus being their best friend, someone who was socially awkward due to isolation and came off as intense and scary because of it.  They go to great lengths to try and encourage Yutu to make friends, but the public opinion of them as weirdos really hinders this and is only increased as Yutu matures.  This Yutu doesn't like people very much, he grows up assuming everyone is mean and overly judgemental and that he will never be truly accepted for who he is no matter how hard he tries.
Being born in a different world does not make him any less of a Draconia, though unlike his father he is less prone to rage and more to long periods of melancholy; he is very much that sensitive goth kid with reams of bad poetry he will want to burn when he gets older and a love for rainy days. He has a deep love for classical poetry, music, and old clothes. If the area where Yuu lived had a ren faire then you can best bet Yuu took him there as a special treat more than once, he loves seeing all the medieval outfits and activities. He's explored every cemetery your town has, knows all of it's weird rumors, and any fun history stuff that might have happened in and around it, something he retains when transported to Twisted Wonderland. There are few people who know more about the history of Night Raven College than Yutu Draconia, for better or worse.
His interest in the macabre effects how he sees his parent's situation. While other Yutus might have needed time to adjust to the idea of magic and curses, Malleus! Yutu always firmly believed in it and assumed that was exactly what had happened to his parent. He went back and forth on his beliefs about his father, as a small child he thought of his father as a wonderful person who loved his parent so much that he must be searching for them surely, and that any day now he would swoop in and fly Yuu and him away to where they really belonged. When that never happened he began to wonder if maybe his father saw his relationship with Yuu as a mistake and that their memories had been altered purposefully to hide his identity. Whatever the truth, Yutu has decided that his loyalty is to Yuu, and that no matter who is trying to harm them he will hunt them down and have his revenge.
He announces as much to Crewel after he arrives in the mirror chamber, magic sparking at his finger tips as he roars it with a force he didn't know he had and immediately starts hacking at how dry his throat has become. It's very cute and not as intimidating as he might have wanted, but his point comes across well enough. Diasomnia is extremely pleased to have a Draconia back in the Housewarden's seat, though Yutu is less than pleased with this new position of authority.
The transition of being a hated outcast to the rightful King of a literal fallen kingdom is jarring. Learning of his father's controversial marriage to Yuu, of the uproar caused by their disappearance and his father's outright refusal to ever give up hope that his child and spouse would return is heartbreaking. Silver and Sebek had standing orders to go to them when not if they did, that's how badly his father wanted to believe he would be back. He was barely able to live with himself without them, but he had to. He had a kingdom relying on him, and someone else too.
We have gone back and forth in these posts about giving Yutu a sibling, but Malleus! Yutu absolutely has one. Dragon fae create eggs from magic and their partner's love, so in this scenario Malleus and Yuu decided to have two children, one that Mal would nourish and one that Yuu would. Technically, the Crown Princess is older than Yutu, but since she hatched from an egg she matures even slower than he does. She did grow faster than her father, the ability to transform into a human came much more naturally to her because of Yuu's love, but she doesn't look or sound much older than six. You are insane if you think this means she thinks of herself as the younger sibling though, her egg was older by two whole years so there! That means she is in charge! So Yutu absolutely has to stop learning boring "political smience" or whatever and play with her RIGHT NOW. She's wanted to meet him for so long TᴖT how dare her little brother deny her TᴖT look at her she's so cute how could he even think of scolding her TᴖT oh jail for brother jail for 1000 years TᴖT
Yutu might hate socializing and have a negative view of people but he absolutely adores his sister and thinks of himself as the big brother. He lets her claim to be in charge in the same way Malleus let Sebek do whatever he wanted because he finds it amusing. It is not uncommon to see the King in Exile holding court with the Crown Princess on his lap, rocking her softly as she naps. It helps solidify his control over what remains of Briar Valley, they might have been skeptical about having a half human King who cannot even transform into a dragon, but his professed dedication to his father's legacy of sacrifice and the clear adoration of his sister make his authority tough to deny.
Speaking of sacrifice, going back in time was hard for Malleus! Yutu. He felt there was absolutely no way he could bring his sister back with him because of how young she was and he was skeptical of whether or not it would even work. If it didn't he would be depriving Briar Valley of a king again, but if it did well. Then he would never need to be king in the first place, which Yutu finds reliving. While he did step up to the task, all he ever really wanted was to live with his father, Yuu, and now his sister in whatever way would have been normal for them. Sure, that normal turns out to have been quite abnormal, but that doesn't mean he still does not want it.
When the Once and Never King sees his father he has maybe more information than any of the other Yutus, even those who had met their dads. He conducted lengthy interviews with both Silver and Sebek, compiling a great pile of notes that he went through over and over again trying to come up with a strategy. All of that planning goes out the window when they actually meet, Yuu asks for permission from Tsunotarou to introduce the two of them, thinking it would be nice for both him and Yutu to have more friends and Malleus is just intrigued enough to say yes.
So this is a dragon fae. It's the only thing Yutu can bring himself to think when he sees Malleus, the other, more intense thoughts and emotions are distracted by the fireflies that accompany his father's arrival. They're beautiful, he can't remember having seen anything like them before, certainly not in his future. His father looks at him in brief surprise, and magic tingles up Yutu's spine. It's similar to the feeling he had when he first saw his sister, like recognizing like and seeking to form a connection. It hurts to shut himself off, but he smiles and focuses on his humanity as he puts forward his hand. "Hello Mr. Tsunotarou, I'm Yutu." The smile that stretches its way across Malleus's face is pure amusement, he must have really liked this ruse. What did Yuu think about that when they learned?
"My the humans of your world are certainly brave." He shakes his hand proudly, clearly pleased at the normalcy of Yutu's treatment but still painfully unaware how to be normal about it. "I am deeply pleased to make your acquaintance."
Malleus adores Yutu. There's just something about him that activates a part of him that he wasn't aware of before, and while he doesn't understand what those emotions are he recognizes his increased need to be protective of Yuu for exactly what it is. His mind thinks of Yuu as his mate, in body and soul, and that does terrify him slightly. Yuu is so tragically human, they'll die if he takes them home. They'll die if he lets them go to their home. They'll die if he never says anything at all and lets his love rot out his heart alone in his tower while they freely move through the world without ever having known of his emotions-
I haven't given much thought as to how I would want a Malleyuu confession to go down, but I could see them starting a sort of awkward courting process where Malleus takes them for long, late night walks in the forest to slow dance alone, brings them roses and handcrafted jewels he silently begs for them to wear to show just how close they are getting- but however it happens there is at least an understanding that there is something between them by the time Yutu's disguise is knocked off and he's forced to come clean.
It's a reveal Malleus does not take well. Oh not that he hates his son, he is overwhelmed with such a powerful love and joy at the mere concept of his existence he could never- no it's the fact that his future. His happy ending, that he fucking deserves after everything that his family has been through, was robbed from him and he wasn't able to do anything about it other than go to sleep? Him? The most powerful mage (fifth actually but he doesn't care about that) in existence couldn't stop that? Unacceptable.
After Yuu gets him to calm down and soothes the brewing thunderstorm they both are very focused on the well being of their child. I feel like both Yuu and Malleus would want Yutu to have a chance to just enjoy himself, for him to take off the crown he was never meant to have and just. Breathe for a moment. That's part of Malleus's motivation for introducing him as his son to the Diasomnia gang, he wants his child to have a chance to have some fun with his Uncles and Pee Paw Lilia.
Sebek bursts into tears when he learns of Waka Sama jr's existence. I think he feels a sort of kinship with Yutu, they're both half fae and they both have a deep respect for Malleus. He's very shy when he sees how much respect Yutu has for him. He's surprisingly humble when Yutu thanks him for protecting him in the future, insisting that he was just doing his job. He likes listening to Yutu play the piano, I could see Yutu trying to teach Sebek how to play an instrument, partially to spend time with him and partially just because he is curious as to how tone deaf Sebek can be.
Silver is deeply concerned about Yuu and Yutu's safety. He organizes with Sebek and Lilia to change up their patrols to include defending the new members of the royal family . He is a bit confused as to why Yutu wants to just hang out with him when all he really does is train, but he also is glad that the little prince is willing to train with him and take Silver's concerns about his safety seriously. I could see Silver apologizing for not being able to defend his parent, genuinely distressed about his situation and Yutu being a bit awkward about it. He never thought to blame Silver ever, why would he? Yutu is not unused to Silver's kindness, but it still overwhelms him. It's a pure sort of love that challenges what Yutu thinks about the world, and he doesn't know what to do with that.
Now. Mr. Pee Paw. Lilia is probably the most excited out of the entire group, look at this kid. You see him? Living physical proof that humans and fae can get along! If a Draconia did it then you can too, Grandpa Leven would be so proud! The future is concerning sure, but now that he knows about it he can plan for it. Lilia might be old, but he is still has some fight left in him, and he is very happy to use it on securing Malleus's family's future.
Yes, he does try to cook for Yutu. He wants to make him a birthday cake because he insists that they should throw him a party even if it isn't his birthday so he can have one with his Pee Paw and Dad. Yes everyone forces Yutu to distract him so they can make sure they've got something edible. He's so sad about it, how could they, jail for the little prince, jail for 1000 years.
Malleus is overly confident about his ability to change the future. Failure isn't an option as far as he is concerned, he will find the person who dared to corrupt his perfect future and he will have his due. His son will never have to live in a world without him, and he will never have to live in a world that rejected Yuu. Someone clearly needs to be reminded of just who Malleus Draconia is, and that memory will not be pretty.
Bonus
So the little crown princess. She learns that her idiot younger brother is planning to go back in time without her and she is very angry about this. How dare he, she knows he can't do anything without her so she makes sure to tag along anyway.
I toyed with the future kid reveal coming from her just marching up to Yutu and giving him orders, but I also like the idea of the Draconia family finding her lost in the woods crying because of how distressed she is that she can't find her little brother. Either way she doesn't understand the need for secrecy and wants to spend every single second she can with her parents. She causes a lot of rain when she finally gets to meet Yuu in person, she had so many dreams about meeting them and now they're real and she can hug them- she's just got too many emotions in her little body send help.
The Draconia family has pretty easy to follow naming theme, but I wasn't too certain about what names to give Yutu and his sister. I like the idea of Princess Draconia being named Mallia after Lilia but I am less certain about Yutu. In my notes Miss Princes was just called Princess Tamago because she hatched out of an egg. That's not her name but I could see that being something Yutu calls her.
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morningstargirl666 · 3 days
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WIP WEDNESDAY
This is your daily reminder that there should be more Bonnie & Caroline friendship in fics, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
“God, I’m so excited for Tyler to finally be able to come home.”
“He won’t have to take orders from Klaus when he’s dead, that’s for sure,” Bonnie muttered. She glanced up when Caroline remained quiet, frowning slightly. “Elena mentioned he invited you to the ball? Why would Klaus do that?”
Caroline scowled up at the ceiling, annoyed by the direction the conversation had taken. “I have no idea.”
Bonnie stopped looking through the grimoire. “Well, what did he want last night?”
“I don’t know.” Caroline shrugged, a little lost, throwing a hand up. “He asked me to dance, we talked, he showed me his artwork-”
“Artwork?” Bonnie echoed.
Caroline frowned slightly, worrying her lip.
“Yeah, he’s an artist, I guess,” she tried to shrug off, like it wasn’t a big deal. Even serial killers had hobbies, right? She didn’t mention the drawing he’d done of her - nope, not happening. She scoffed, shaking her head. “I’m pretty sure interpol has half his art collection listed as stolen or missing - like the feds would have a field day if they raided that place.”
“So he asked you to dance, spent time with you, showed you his personal art collection…” Her best friend paused, slowly closing the grimoire, eyeing Caroline critically. “...like a date?”
Caroline shot up into a sitting position, glaring at Bonnie. 
“It was NOT a date,” she hissed, slicing her hands through the air, as if to ward the accusation off. “There was no ‘dating’ of any kind.”
Bonnie’s eyes widened a fraction and she deliberately turned her gaze back to the grimoire. 
“Sounds like a date to me,” she muttered under her breath, opening the book back up.
Caroline tried to push the memory of Klaus admitting he fancied her out of her head, something fluttering in her stomach. 
“He was just cozying up to me to get to Elena,” she tried to excuse. Her eyes shot to Bonnie, pleading with her to agree. “Right?”
Bonnie sighed, regarding her sadly. “Is it really that impossible to consider that a guy may actually like you?”
“Bonnie,” Caroline carefully enunciated, “It’s Klaus.”
Her friend rolled her eyes, closing the grimoire again and throwing it to the side. “Yeah, obviously I’m not saying you should date him, Caroline. I’m just saying you’re,” she shrugged, gesturing to all of her, “you know, a catch. Any guy would be lucky to have you.” 
Bonnie leaned forward, grasping Caroline’s hands in hers as she smiled softly. Touched, Caroline couldn’t help but smile back.
“Hell,” Bonnie continued, “Tyler doesn’t even deserve you after he left you for dead in the woods and then ghosted you.”
“He’s trying to break the sire bond for me, Bonnie,” Caroline pointed out, her glare half-hearted. Secretly, her friend’s fierce protectiveness warmed her heart.
“Even so,” Bonnie conceded, letting go of Caroline’s hands, “it was a dick move, one he made on your birthday of all days. You don’t have to excuse him all the time.”
Caroline sighed - Bonnie was right. She let her head fall into her hands, running her fingers anxiously through her hair. Biting her lip, she looked back up at Bonnie.
“And if Klaus does actually…like me?” she asked quietly.
Sheepishly, Bonnie smiled, the expression halfway to a wince. “Start growing wolfsbane in the garden?”
“Would that even work on a hybrid?”
“He’s part werewolf, right?” Bonnie shrugged, picking up her grimoire again. A wicked smile curled around the corners of her face. “You’d assume so.”
Caroline shook her head, grinning too as she pulled out her phone. “Guess I need to google where I can get wolfsbane from, then,” she said, like it was a great chore.
“Check Petco, maybe you’ll find the dog version of catnip.”
Unable to keep straight faces, they giggled, both of them doubling over laughing.
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xhdream · 14 hours
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wild cherry (18+)
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pairing: skater!jiseok x fem!reader x hyeongjun
genre: smut, sprinkle of fluff wc: 3.9k
summary: your childhood best friend who studies abroad comes back for the summer break. his first day in his hometown after not visiting for three years ends with a sweet unforgettable experience and an unexpected new friendship for you
contains: sub!reader, slight food play? (there’s a scene with a lollipop involved, if it sounds uncomfortable to you, i advise not reading this), unprotected sex, public sex, oral (f), dirty talk, praise kink, pet names, masturbation (m), exhibitionism, voyeurism
a/n: please, keep in mind english is not my first language, i apologise in advance for any mistakes i’ve might missed
!! this is pure fiction for entertainment purposes
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There’s so much that three years can do to a person.
You realise it after you walk out through the front door and call out Jiseok’s name who’s on the other sidewalk.
He’s sitting on his skateboard, settled under a tree to hide from the July sun and waiting patiently to see you for the first time after three years.
You cross the street, and run into his arms. He doesn’t even get the chance to give you one proper look, because you immediately jump on him with the widest most radiant smile.
His arms lift you up in the air as you scream at him for not telling you that he’s decided to come back for the summer.
He only giggles into your hair which is half-wet with a sweet scent that tickles his senses. His arms stay tightly wrapped around your back.
“I just got here last night and you’re already yelling at me.” He jokes quietly, but you barely hear a word from your heart beating so fast.
His appearance can continue to change as much as it wants, but the welcoming feeling of his comforting presence will always remain the same, and you will miss it every time he’s gone no matter what.
You feel the warm breeze across the back of your thighs, and you realise the flowy summer dress you’re wearing has hiked up your body a bit too much, exposing more skin than it’s appropriate. Jiseok’s grip around your body unintentionally exposed most of your panties by bringing you in the air, and you decide it’s time to let go before any of your neighbours see it.
“Sorry for making you wait,” you speak up almost out of breath from the excitement, “but I was in the shower when you called.”
“No worries.” He chuckles, and you don’t know if it’s just you getting used to hearing it again in person, or if the sound really has changed a bit. “What’s thirteen minutes compared to three years?” He gives you an ear to ear smile as his eyes squint from the bright sunlight.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming.”
He shrugs shoulders, because the reason is pretty simple and obvious.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
You both can’t stop grinning at each other, closely observing the changes that you’ve missed during all this time. His hair has gotten longer, his figure more broad and confident, his gaze - bolder. You’ve sent many selfies in the chat, many pictures, videos and you talk on facetime often, but it’s not the same.
Not even close.
“I have a surprise for you too.” You move your hand up in front of his eyes and Jiseok gasps loudly.
“No way!” He grabs the lollipop the second he sees it. The same one you always used to buy while you were in high school and continued to buy after graduation. “Wait,” his brows fake a suspicious look, “did you know I was flying home? Do you have some psychic powers you’re not telling me about?”
“I wish,” you laugh. “I just buy some once in a while, especially this time of the year. The flavour reminds me of the good ol’ days.”
“Thanks, I missed them.” He opens his arms, inviting you in a hug again. “And you too.”
You cling onto his body, genuinely grateful to have him so close to you again. The memories throughout the years you’ve created together since you were little kids running on this same street you are standing right now, burst into your mind, but you shove them away, wanting to be fully focused on the present.
“I missed you too. More than I expected.”
“Told you it will be boring without me.”
After you back away, Jiseok accidentally peeks into your cleavage while you fix your dress, and his laughter suddenly dies down. He shifts his gaze up to your face with a coy smirk.
“You look beautiful by the way.”
It’s not only your nicely shaped breasts that he’s complimenting, but your blossomed beauty too.
“Thanks.” You respond a bit flustered because it’s the last thing you expected to hear from him.
“Oh!” He turns around. “Check out my new skateboard deck.” He lifts it in front of his chest with a proud grin. “Customised it myself.”
“I knew there was an artsy side to you.”
You run your fingertips along the colorful deck, telling him how much you like the creative design.
Jiseok hops on the skateboard, and you both take a stroll around the neighbourhood. He said he wanted to see if anything has changed since he left to study abroad, and you tell him the only difference is that a few people moved.
As the both of you chat, jumping from one topic into another, you catch with your peripheral vision that Jiseok is taking off his t-shirt. You quickly look away, but not for long because his feet speed up the wheels of the skate and he’s suddenly ahead of you with his back muscles into your face.
He used to constantly yell at you “check this out!” before doing his tricks, but now he doesn’t do it anymore; maybe he grew out of it and since he’s shown impressive skills in a few competitions he doesn’t feel the need to.
He pops ollie high in the air before groaning from the hot temperature. His shirt hangs from his shoulder, and the closer you get, the better you see his tanned skin and the abs… especially the abs.
“We should go to the skate park before I leave so you can see my newest jump. I learned something that will make your jaw drop.”
“We should,” you agree.
You don’t ask when he’s leaving. You don’t want to know just yet.
Later in the afternoon Jiseok called you to hangout, and you noticed that your heart is racing quicker with each passing minute as you wait for him to pick you up with his dad’s car.
It’s unusual. There’s no reason for it to beat this furiously for a friend you’ve known all your life.
The vehicle approaches and you sigh with relief once you sit on the passenger seat, enjoying the colder air.
“Seatbelt, please.” Jiseok glances at your chest before preparing to leave the empty street. “Hot, isn’t it?”
“Deadly,” you complain, secretly checking your reflection in the rear view mirror.
You thought it would be just the two of you, but turns out a friend of his will be joining you.
“Do you mind?” Jiseok asks, paying attention to the busy road.
His schedule currently is packed by meeting up with many hometown friends that he hasn’t seen in a long time. He does his best to squeeze in everyone in a short period of time, and you understand that.
“Of course not, it will be fun.” You reassure him with a quick curl of your lips. “Do I know him?” You ask, worried if the slight disappointment you felt is echoing in your voice.
“I might’ve mentioned him before, but I don’t think you’ve met him.” Jiseok admits after a few seconds of thinking. “I’m sure you’re gonna like him though,” he quickly adds. “He’s not like most of my friends, don’t worry.”
“I like your friends!” You turn to him with a fake expression of surprise.
“No, you don’t.” Jiseok peeps at you before fixing his gaze on the road again.
His laugh rings in the car, and you feel a wave of relief. You’re glad he doesn’t mind your opinions on most of his friends. Not that he’s here to hang out with them and invite you to come along, but when he’s done with college he may have more opportunities to travel to his hometown… You wonder what his friends are like in his current new life. Does he act the same when he’s with them or is there a different version of Kwak Jiseok that you have no idea about?
“Here he is.” Jiseok shouts through a wide grin, rolling down the window. He sticks out his hand and his friend greets him with some kind of special fist bump. “Damn, the ponytail is sick.” He exclaims after the dark haired boy settles in the back seat. “I didn’t know you’re growing out your hair.”
“Thanks,” Jiseok’s friend says. His voice is coming in a mellow calming tone from behind your shoulder. “Thought you knew.”
“Maybe I would’ve if you facetimed me more.”
His friend laughs through a sarcastic reply, and Jiseok finally introduces you.
“Hyeongjun, this is Y/N, you’ve heard about her, Y/N, this is Hyeongjun.”
“Nice to meet you.” You turn around, reaching for his hand.
He accepts it gently with a genuine smile, and that smile awes you quite honestly. As he walked towards the car you noticed he has a nice slim figure with an appearance that seems appealing at first glance, but now that you take a closer look at him, his face is charming. It makes you want to keep staring at him.
“Actually,” Jiseok’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts, and you turn back around, “Hyeongjun attends the same college as you, Y/N. He’s majoring in Art.”
“Really?” You peek at him intrigued.
“Have you seen each other around?” Jiseok asks curiously while taking a left turn. He’s driving towards a nearby supermarket where you’ve decided to grab drinks and snacks for a picnic at the park.
“I don’t think so,” you mumble and Hyeongjun agrees with you.
“Figured.” Jiseok nods. “Hyeongjun would’ve remembered you.”
“Wow, I didn’t expect it to get so empty here.”
It’s midnight, and the only sounds left around are coming from your unending conversation with Jiseok and Hyeongjun. You can hear occasionally some murmurs or barking in the distance, but it seems that from now on it will only get quieter.
The multiple beer cans are sitting empty outside of the blanket on which the three of you are lazing on along with a few empty packages of snacks.
“Oh, I almost forgot!” Jiseok sneaks a hand in the pocket of his pants and quickly unwraps the lollipop you gave him this morning. He puts a hand on his chest, overreacting after tasting it. “Just like I remember.”
“Wild cherry. It’s your favourite, right?” You direct your eyes on him, as you keep resting on your back. He’s sitting in front of you in one of the corners of the blanket, shirtless.
He humms in agreement, pulling out the lolly through his plump lips before showing off his enticing smile.
“But this one is even sweeter cause it’s from you.”
He hides it back in his mouth enjoying the way you attempt to look away shyly. Even in the darkness your features glimmer with a beam of light, and he can see clearly when you’re reacting to his words in a more special way.
Hyeongjun who’s sitting with his back leaning against the tree is picking out the next song to play on his phone while still drinking the remaining sips of his last beer.
He cannot help but steal shameless glances at your laying figure as you chuckle at almost everything Jiseok says. Your hair is spilling on the ground messy, but still beautiful while your naked legs move playfully left to right, distracting him with their hypnotising curves.
“Caramel apple should not come before wild cherry,” Jiseok bursts out dumbfounded.
“That’s your opinion,” you fight back. “I like it, I think it’s great.”
“Better than this?” He holds the red lollipop, anticipating your answer with raised brows.
“Maybe,” you reply, but you’re not able to say anything more after Jiseok moves closer, suddenly prepping himself over you. His lips hover over your mouth, slightly redder than their usual color, as his eyes pierce through yours which are stunned; not able to stop at just one part of his face. “What?” You ask.
“Can I kiss you so you can tell me if you still think that?”
You’ve never craved any taste so badly in your life.
“Yes.”
Jiseok presses his lips on yours, hard, yet cautiously at the same time. A burst of excitement and lust explodes in your chest the moment your mouths connect, allowing your lips to move in sync and explore parts of each other that were till now unfamiliar. Your tongues meet and the sweet flavour increases in your mouth as Jiseok’s dominates over yours.
He breaks the kiss, breathing out.
A moment later of just staring at each other somehow you find a conclusion despite the fuzziness of your mind.
“No, you’re right.” You answer, still facing him so closely. “Wild cherry is better.”
Your response provokes a smirk of pride on Jiseok’s face before it disappears from your vision. He moves lower down your body, his hands hike up your delicate dress that if you ask him, you look pretty much naked in anyway.
His palms explore your bare stomach and hips and you feel how every single place he touches starts heating up despite the normal temperature.
You spread your legs wider and Jiseok levels his face with your clothed cunt with a lollipop in mouth. He grabs it by the handle before speaking up.
“I have a feeling you’re sweeter, baby.” His thumb rubs the spot where your clit is and you sigh from how nice it feels. “Should we find out?”
You meet his heavy gaze between your legs.
“Yeah… I’d like that.”
After your permission, Jiseok moves your panties to the side, and shoots a warm thrill in your entire body through a long lick with his flat tongue. He repeats the same motion more slowly, giving you time to adjust to the feeling before he goes in to suck on your bundle of nerves, shutting his eyes in delight.
Hyeongjun respectfully ignored everything that happened a moment before this… however, he feels like it’s expected from him to watch this.
He sees Jiseok’s hands hugging your thighs as the sounds from his mouth devouring your pussy fill the silence of the deserted park. They’re so lewd and alluring. Just like the soft moans, spilling from your lips that cause his boner to grow.
Jiseok detaches from your folds, groaning from how turned on he is. The lollipop in his fingers appears closer until it bumps into your swollen clit.
“So sweet, doll.” He whispers in a raspier tone, tapping a few times with the head of the lolly. “I knew it.”
You feel him dragging the ball down your folds. The built up arousal is so much, the slickness makes it easy for half of it to slip inside your entrance with ease.
“Fuck, got you so wet for me.” Jiseok moves his dark gaze on your scrunched face, wanting to see your next expression when he pushes the rest of the lollipop into your cunt.
He smirks provocatively once you mewl with pleasure, letting him move it back and forth.
“What a needy girl,” he grunts, pulling it out slowly, “gonna cum from a fuckin’ lollipop.”
He hands you the candy all covered in your essence as soon as you rise up in a sitting position.
This is when the realisation that Hyeongjun saw everything hits you. You also just now notice there’s a new song quietly playing from his phone which apparently has his full attention, or that’s how he’s trying to make it seem.
Jiseok gives you an encouraging nod, his cocky expression with a hint of mischief tells you his imagination is running wild. He has something on his mind, and he’s excited to see you’re thinking of the same thing.
“Hyeongjun.”
Jiseok’s friend looks up at you questionably, and your lips turn up to make him feel less flustered.
“Do you want to try the lollipop too?” You ask.
He asks in return if it’s okay with you, and you respond by moving closer to him.
You guide it towards his lips and he separates them like by a command. You maintain the eye contact as you invite the sugary flavour on his tongue, but once he wraps his seductive lips around the ball which looks too erotic to you for some reason, you couldn’t control your eyes anymore. They move from his lustful eyes and remain on his mouth to watch how he sneaks out his tongue, swiping it along his lips after you pull out the lollipop.
He swallows the sweetness, and you gulp right after him - solely from the urge to kiss him. There’s a desire to find out how his lips would feel that bubbles up inside you.
“You can taste the cherry even better from her.” Jiseok calls out as if he has just read your mind.
You lean in and Hyeongjun does the same simultaneously moving his hand at the back of your neck. After your lips connect, your body flutters from an electric wave once again, but a different type - much more tender and lightweight than the one coming from Jiseok’s lips. Hyeongjun moves passionately as well, but in a graceful way like he’s worried not to get too caught up and make you fall apart, while Jiseok kisses without restraints, like seeing you fall apart is exactly what he wants.
You open your eyes and see the tip of Hyeongjun’s tongue out, not able to get enough of you yet. You gently close your lips around it, holding his neck with your two hands while his roam around your thighs underneath your skirt.
Every flinch he makes with his muscles, every breath he lets out, is as if he’s on slow motion. He wants this to last for as long as possible.
Your heart races as you suck on his wet tongue meanwhile your chin gets wet from a trail of saliva that Hyeongjun licks off after you unwrap your lips.
His hands leave your body - the opposite of his needs, - allowing Jiseok’s to grip on your hips from behind. He gets a hold of you again with an even bigger hunger that unlocks something primer in him from seeing you in this new light. So different and nasty from how your usual pure self is.
Seems like he’s not the only one who’s changed in the past three years.
“Are you having fun driving us crazy like this?” He tilts your head, running his tongue up to your ear.
Every time he touches you slightly you get the urge to moan pathetically, so you bite your lip to avoid it, at least for now.
Hyeongjun watches Jiseok peppering your skin with kisses while his fingertips make the thin straps of your dress slip off your shoulders.
“Not even wearing a bra?”Jiseok notes amused, squeezing your breasts. His erection turns more impatient as your nipples harden on the instant from the breeze. “Come here.”
Jiseok stands up, unbuckling his belt. Soon enough, his pants are open enough to free his cock, and you kneel in front of him while facing Hyeongjun who leans back against the tree; watching you take his friend from behind.
At first you couldn’t focus on Hyeongjun for a while. Feeling Jiseok sinking into you wraps your brain into a fog, unabling you to think or do anything else besides focusing entirely on his thick length going deeper and deeper.
Jiseok digs fingers in your hips while picking up a steady pace which has your moans elevating in the silence.
He shushes you to stay quiet, but his body speeds up.
“You don’t want to get caught fuckin’ in the park, right pretty doll?”
“More, please…” you whine in response finally able to take a peek at your surroundings illuminated by the moonlight. “Please…”
“Only if you don’t make a sound.” Jiseok warns you before slowing down his thrusts.
You nod obediently not letting Hyeongjun out of sight. Jiseok notices your fixed attention on him, and finds it quite intriguing.
He makes you lean back by pulling on your small scrunched dress. The fabric exposes your entire body besides just a small part of your waist. He humms quietly once you begin to move up and down his cock on your own, squeezing him perfectly with your tight walls while your nails stab his thighs as you support yourself.
“Tell me what else do you want, baby.” Jiseok runs his hands on your bare shoulders. His deep voice covers you in goosebumps.
You blink at Hyeongjun while the pleasure floods your veins.
“I… I want him to feel good too.”
“So sweet,” he coos, praising you with knuckles caressing your warm cheek. “You heard her.”
Hyeongjun doesn’t hesitate.
He unzips his jeans and the sound is enough to make your heart skip a beat from excitement. Your eyes widen in the distance, following the rushed movement of his hands.
When his slim fingers grip his shaft he starts tugging in a slow pace, imagining that the pressure around him comes from your gummy walls; that the smacking sounds from skin clashing against skin is because he’s the one kneeling behind you.
You’re bouncing on his dick; you’re making him throb and leak with desperation.
“C’mon, doll, don’t get distracted.” Jiseok speaks in a gentle manner, but you notice the slight tone of frustration hidden underneath. “Take it, c’mon.. fuck.”
He doesn’t wait for you to change your pace though, instead he decides to take matters into his own hands. He grabs your lower waist and starts thrusting against the desired spot rapidly; uncontrollably, like he doesn’t plan on ever stopping. Due to the insane amount of pleasure that shoots his core, his head falls back and his eyes roll at the back of his skull.
A warm knot forms in both of your bodies, so close to snapping, as sweat collects on different parts of your skin. It’s gliding down your forehead, neck, chest, your inner thighs along with the spilling fluids from your cunt.
Hyeongjun’s eyes are leveled with your boobs that shake every time Jiseok shoves his cock through you. As his lips open from another small moan, yours close, tucked between your teeth.
“Fuck, you feel so good… so tight and wet.”
And Hyeongjun can almost feel it too. If he keeps his eyes shut and just focus on your panting and the squelching coming from between your legs, he can really feel it. His fist speeds up, building up the intense heat inside as you whimper that you’re about to cum.
“Let it out, baby,” Jiseok grunts, his own voice shaking too. “That’s it, cum for me, good girl.”
He covers your mouth with force while his spare arm stays around you, wanting to keep his cock gliding sloppily till the climax shakes you up.
The thrill is staggering; it makes your body convulse in Jiseok’s embrace as you hold onto the arm that keeps you silent. A few muffled cries sneak out from his palm which are enough to push Hyeongjun over the edge. His cum spills all over his naked stomach in hot thick ropes and he manages to stay quiet till the end in comparison to Jiseok whose throat releases a deep groan after he jerks off, spraying your back with fluids.
Once Jiseok gives your ass a playful smack you let yourself collapse silently on your tummy.
The three of you wait for your breaths to return back to normal in the shared silence. For your surprise, it's not awkward nor perplexing. You let the minutes pass comfortably while the night summer wind finally turns colder, helping your bodies cool off.
The moon shines bright and you meet Hyeongjun’s eyes as he rests on your left side.
He smiles at you.
You smile back.
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bullet-prooflove · 13 hours
Text
Letting Go: Will Trent x Reader
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Tagging: @kmc1989 @yezzyyae @words-and-seeds @trublu2u @@cassiopeiablog
References to Trying Series
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Will visits Angie once a year, always on her birthday.
You know when it’s around that time because there’s always a subtle shift in his behaviour. He becomes more subdued, his temperament sharper. He spends his nights in the office instead of coming home, immersing himself in whatever case he can get on his hands on. His preoccupation is a coping mechanism, a way of outrunning the memories. You know this time of year takes him back to a dark place, one he’s spent years trying to claw his way out of.  He doesn’t tell you about the war it wages inside him, that he despises the fact he still feels an obligation to Angie, that even from beyond the grave she still has that power over him.
During the first year of your relationship, he tries to hide it.  This thing between the two of you is new and he doesn’t want you to think he’s still caught up on his dead ex, that he’s cheating on you with a dead woman. He becomes distant, cancels plans. He actively avoids you because you’re intuitive when it comes to him, he knows you’ll see right through him.
It’s the day after he visits Angie’s grave that you show up at this house with two cups of takeout coffee and breakfast pastries.
“It’s an olive branch,” you tell him. “I’m sorry for whatever I did…”
It’s that that changes everything. The fact you think that you’re the problem, that you’ve come here to try to rectify it. It’s in that instant he realises just how insidious his connection to Angie is, how it has the potential to derail the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
Over breakfast he tells you everything. It comes out in stops and starts because he isn’t sure how to describe his relationship with Angie, how to tell it in a way that doesn’t fill him with shame. He’s worked so hard to move on, to get past her but once a year he finds himself drawn back in and he hates himself for it. You hold him in the aftermath, his face buried in the curve of your neck as your hand smooths over his hair.
It's another reminder of just how different you are from Angie, she would never shown him this warmth, never given him her affection. She would have hated you, how good you are, how kind you are, all the things she couldn’t be.
It’s been a couple of years since then, his life has changed. He has a wife now, a baby on the way. He almost forgets about Angie. He’s too busy decorating the nursery and overhauling the garden so his child has a place to play. It’s only in the morning when you place a bouquet of yellow roses on the kitchen table that he remembers it’s even her birthday.
As usual the gravesite is overgrown. It’s a nice plot under an oak tree, one that Will picked out himself. He was the only attendee at her funeral, the only person to put a handful of dirt on her coffin. He’s the only person in the world who ever cared about Angie, who loved her flaws and all, and it shows. He takes his time tidying it up, pulling up the weeds from around the headstone before he arranges the roses carefully within the metal vase.
“It's over Angie.” He says softly, placing his hand on the earth, his fingertips curling in the dirt. “It’s time for me to let you go.”
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