#and also man people can be so fucking weird about joel

[prismatic-ink]

when the humor so good people think you have a mood disorder

#nah but fr though #imagine calling someone “manic” just because they're british #that deadpan sarcasm is a source of national pride #and also man people can be so fucking weird about joel #i've seen some people armchair diagnose him with both bipolar disorder AND autism #the latter of which was on Oli's stream with Lizzie that they both saw and reacted to #like you dont know him stop being freaks!! #i get HCing the characters because let's be real Life Series!Joel is a bpd queen #but the actual content creator? so weird! #smallishbeans #jimmy solidarity

[covetyou]

the best of you, honey, belongs to me

part 1 ⋆ part 2 ⋆ part 3 ⋆ part 4 ⋆ part 5

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader rating: Explicit (18+ only!) chapter warnings: dub con, unprotected P in V, oral (f receiving), creampie, choking, spanking, mild praise kink, potential assault, derogatory names (slut), drug reference, unspecified age gap. word count: 5.5k chapter summary: Joel Miller is an asshole. An asshole and a liar. Right?

A/N: HOLY SHIT I DID IT I FINISHED SOMETHING. I did it Ma!

Thank you all so much for sticking with me this month. Your support has been silly lovely and I genuinely love you all a little bit.

Ty to @iamasaddie and @jupiter-soups for being the first people to cheer me on from the sidelines. You both made me excited about my own writing, which feels weird but I'm very grateful to you.

I hope you like it, thank you, goodbye, see you soon, I love you.

follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future work

song: NFWMB by Hozier

Joel Miller was a massive fucking liar, you'd realized.

You probably would have been able to guess that before, but as you were stood here, back pushed against a brick wall in an alleyway, it was clear as day.

You'd been dragged down here by two men - a small rat like one and a taller one with a mean look on his face - and thrown against the wall. Your back smarted, and you tried to reason with them, but they were tugging at your clothes and threatening you before you could think of anything useful to say.

They were torn off you as quick as they were on you.

And now, heavy fists were pounding into them, beating into their faces and stomachs as they slouched pathetically against the brick opposite. Joel had found you, somehow noticed in a crowd of people that you were suddenly gone. He had someone with him, they looked similar enough that they could have been family, and both were beating into the men that had dragged you down the alley.

A yelled threat and the two men were hobbling away, beaten and bloody and holding onto themselves in their retreat.

"You okay?"

You're looking at Joel, so it takes a second to register that the other man is addressing you. You slowly turn to him - definitely related - and nod. You're stunned and a little winded more than anything.

Joel is flexing his fist, staring daggers at you. His companion doesn't say another word to you, but you hear him talk in hushed tones to Joel, before Joel mutters something back to him and he walks away.

You should probably be more scared of being alone down an alley with Joel Miller than the other two guys but, though it confuses you, you feel safer than ever. He'd protected you, saved you, and that's how you knew that Joel Miller was a fucking liar.

"C'mon," he growls to you, walking away and expecting you to follow. Of course, you follow, even through the low lying anger and frustration that's still simmering in your belly.

As you walk behind, you watch as he clenches his fist and flexes his hands over and over. Before you know it you're outside his apartment block, being roughly dragged up the stairs by a heavy hand on your arm, dragged down a corridor and deposited in front of his front door. He doesn't look at you as he fishes his key out from an inner pocket on his coat.

"Saw you fuckin' lookin' at me, I told you not to do that shit," he says angrily, throwing you into his apartment and slamming the door closed behind you.

"They hurt you?" You shake your head. "They touch you?" You shake your head again.

His nostrils flair. You can almost hear the bones in his hands creak from how hard he's clenching his fists.

And so you poke the fucking bear again, because what is there to lose. You'd spent all week mulling it over, getting angrier and angrier as you talked yourself in circles. He didn't like you and you definitely didn't like him. You didn't want to kiss him, but also you did. Neither of you cared, but maybe both of you did. Everything was feeling like a lie and all you wanted was the truth. So you poke, bracing yourself for impact.

"You're a liar," you whisper, pulling at the sleeves of your coat.

His eyes immediately snap to yours, and he's making quick work of the distance between you. He's toe to toe with you when he stops, looking down at you, fists still firmly clenched at his sides.

"What did you fuckin' say to me?"

You swallow before you speak again, meek as a mouse but a fire in your belly. "You're a liar. You said you wouldn't look out for me."

"S'that why you kept lookin'? S'that why you got yourself in trouble? To prove some fuckin' point?"

You frown at him - it hadn't been intentional. You were glaring at him when they grabbed you, stuffing a gloved hand over your mouth to keep your scream from being heard. The people around you didn't care, didn't stop what they were doing or go for help. They just left you. But Joel came anyway.

"You think I asked for that?" you say, trying to keep your voice from cracking. You never have and never will cry in front of this man, not like this anyway. You watch as his mouth curls to sneer at you, the fire turning into a sick feeling bubbling up through your belly as you watch his lip raise.

You don't know what comes over you, but you push at his chest, wanting to touch him and get him away from you in equal measure. It takes him by surprise, the force of your push making him stumble back.

You both stare at each other, unmoving for a beat, both shocked that you'd dare to touch him let alone push him. You think maybe you should run, get away before he gets you, but your reactions are slower than his, and you're raising your arms to protect yourself as he makes one big stride over to you.

The blow doesn't come.

He's pulling at your coat, jerking it down your arms, before tugging at the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head. It gets caught, and you hear a tear as it catches on your arm, but he keeps pulling anyway. The fabric splits from your body, tattered and ruined as it's discarded on the floor.

"You think I would fuckin' hit you?" he says angrily as he tugs at the rest of your clothes. "You think I would fuckin' hurt you in any way you don't want?"

You have no time to answer before he's manhandling you again, pushing you roughly into his room.

He pushes you forward onto his bed, bending you over and holding you there as he reaches around and tugs at your zipper. You fight to stand, but the weight of his hand keeps you in place as he pulls your pants and panties down in one, leaving them around your knees so you can't run to escape even if you wanted to. Any thought that you could, should, run is already gone. You don't want to, not any more. Whatever he wants to do, whatever anger he has for you, you want it. You want to feel his anger, you want it to burn into yours until you combust.

A hand claps down on your ass and you feel the sting ripple up your back. He wanted that one to hurt, and it did. Another sharp slap hits your other cheek soon after, the sting of pain made worse by your cold skin, but you're glad for it because you wanted that one to hurt too.

Both his hands rub across your cheeks, drawing a groan from you as he massages them and soothes the sting before rough fingers pull you apart. He always did like looking.

He wastes no time in plunging his wet tongue into your pussy from behind, Joel's hands yanking your pants down the to your feet to spread you open further for him. "You're fuckin' dripping," he says between breaths as you push back into his face.

"You this wet from those guys?" You don't answer, so he slaps a hand down on your ass again.

"Fuckin' answer me."

"N-no. M'not wet from them."

"Then why," he says, breathing deeply as he devours your pussy, the cold of his nose tickling your hole as the scruff on his jaw scratches at your inner thighs. "Tell me. Tell me why this needy fuckin' pussy is so wet."

"Because of you," you push your face down into his bed, biting at his sheets as his tongue swipes over your clit, already so sensitive your legs are shaking. You arch your back, exposing more of your cunt to his relentless tongue. There's no question or thread of shame in your mind why you like this - why you're already so close to coming undone just from him being an asshole and playing with your pussy.

"Me, huh? Little hole's desperate for me? Look at her cryin' out to be stuffed full, drippin' all over the place."

You couldn't help the drip of slick from your cunt, or the way his words always worked to make it worse. You knew you were a mess, but by now you knew he liked it, even if he taunted you for it. You felt how his grasping hands got firmer, saw as his cock got harder, just at the sight of your glistening pussy.

Two of his thick fingers are pushing into you, the cold feel of them startling you as they slide home. You'd spent a week thinking of his fist buried in your cunt, but his fingers still felt so thick, so much, plunged into your dripping wet heat as they were.

"If you make a mess on my sheets I'll rub your fuckin' nose in it. Act like an animal I'll treat you like one."

If you were an animal, he was fucking feral - a snarling, growling, feral animal of a man that you just couldn't resist.

His fingers curl, dragging against your walls harshly as his tongue slides against your clit again, swirling around the stretched rim where his fingers are embedded in you, tasting you, before slurping at your clit once more. You grind your hips back against his face, trying to get more friction on your clit as he fucks you with his fingers. They're warmed now, the burning heat from your cunt drawing the chill from his bones.

The wet squelch in your cunt is obscene as he laps at your clit, drawing you so close already, your feet still tangled in your pants and your moans muffled by the push of your face into his sheets.

Joel's fingers are gone just as your orgasm starts to raise its head over the horizon, ruining any high you were so close to getting. You slam your fist down on the bed in frustration, ignoring his gruff laugh as you muffle your fuck into his bed. His knees crack as he stands, undoing his belt and pulling his cock from his pants. He doesn't stroke himself, he doesn't need to, he just squeezes himself at the base, lines himself up with your hole and pushes forward.

A strangled moan pulls from your chest as he sheathes himself, pulling your hips back flush with his as his cock impales you in one movement.

"Fuck, if this pussy don't just love this dick."

He draws back slowly, pulling any slick from your cunt back with him, coating himself in you, before slamming back to the hilt.

"Uhh, f-fuck."

You feel him draw back again, holding himself back from you, tip barely inside your cunt, teasing himself at your entrance. Before he can, you push back onto his cock, taking him in with a deep moan.

He stifles a groan, fingers digging into your hips, pinching the flesh in his grip. You try to move, to fuck yourself on his length, but his grip won't let you. You can feel him throb inside you, and you hope he's already close to coming, that he wants you that much he can barely hold himself back.

The thought is gone as soon as he starts pulling back again and thrusting forward quickly, repeatedly slamming his hips into your ass and pulling you back onto him. The sharp slap of his hips and wet squelches of your pussy are muffled only by your moans and Joel's shaky breathing.

"Tell me - you fuck anyone else - like this," you say through staccato gasps as his cock collides with your cervix. "If you say you do - I'll know - you're even more of a - fucking liar."

He throws you forward, pulling out and standing glaring down at you when you twist to look at him, finally able to kick your pants and shoes off your feet.

"You think you're special?" he growls. You take him in, his massive figure stood there still clothed, cock hanging lewdly from his pants and covered in your slick. You want to lick it, taste your own pussy on his cock and catch the drip of precum from his tip before it's wasted.

"No. I'm not. And neither are you," you spread your legs as you say it, willing him to come back, to start fucking you again, but not daring to ask for it. "You're an asshole. I just like that you make me feel good."

"Feeling's mutual, sweetheart." He's pouncing on you before you can process it, yanking his shirt over his head before pulling your spread thighs across his clothed ones, notching at your entrance and sliding straight back in.

You thud back down onto the bed with the force of his cock fucking into you, staring up at him with an open mouth, panting as he starts to cant into you once again. His hands are holding your thighs against his as he rocks so deeply into you you think you can see your lower belly pulse with each movement.

His hands slide down your thighs, pulling you apart where his cock joined with you, swiping a thumb up the slick gathered there and rubbing it around your clit in rough circles. You reach down, hand trying to meet his and hold him there, but he swats you away. You move further instead, grabbing at the waistband of his pants and tugging down, slipping them over his ass before he's pushing you back again. Your fingers drag across his abdomen as you fall back again, watching a shudder crawl through him with the graze of your fingertips.

You try not to smile when his hand falls from you and shimmies his pants further down his legs, over his knees and kicking them off the end of the bed whilst still buried in you. You can see all of him again now, his broad shoulders, dark nipples, the trail of hair down to his cock where it disappears inside you. His thick thighs, spread almost as lewdly as yours, dusted in hair, the muscles flexing with each rock into you. He doesn't look at you as you drink him in, eyes focused on your cunt as he pulls you back open.

He spits down onto your clit. You whine when it collides with your skin and starts to trickle down your spread pussy. You whine again when his thumb draws it up and around your clit, massaging it into you, each swipe of his thumb jerking your swollen nub and bringing you closer to coming undone as he pounds you hard into his mattress.

You throw your head back with the feeling of it all, moaning loudly into the open room.

"You'd let me do anythin' to you, huh."

"Yeah," you admit, head still thrown back and eyes closed. You would, you couldn't even say why, just that you knew you would. That for all the pain at the end of the world, this was a pain that was worth it, a stretch that made you ache in the right ways, the sting of his palm that electrified you, made you feel alive.

"You're just beggin' for me to slap your pussy pink again, ain't you? Fill that pretty little asshole up with my cum. Wear you like a fuckin' glove." He's growling, muttering obscene things to you, things you both know to be true. "You'd let me fuck you anyway I want, even share you with whoever I want."

You nod, stupidly bobbing your head along with the rhythm of him sliding into you.

"This pussy is mine," he growls. "Say it."

"Yours!" you pant, you didn't want it to be anyone elses any more, what was the point when he'd ruined you for anyone else. "M'yours!" Fuck.

"All o' you? That's more than I even asked for sweetheart."

And he's falling forward over you, hands planting either side of your head for leverage as he pounds into you harder than he ever has, abandoning your clit just as you were about to fall apart underneath him yet again. Any words to correct yourself are gone as you groan, pulling your brows together and watching him. His face relaxes and contorts over and over, sweat beads at his temples. You know his hair would feel damp if only you would reached up to touch it.

He shifts to his elbows, the sweat from his chest and belly mingling with yours, making your bodies slick as they slide together. You watch his mouth open as he pants, the heat of his breath on your face cooling the sweat dripping down your neck. You can smell him, see every imperfection of his skin in such detail that you're struck dumb, angry, and desperate all in one swoop. Something so close still feels so far away, and a frustrated sob is bubbling from you before you can stop it.

Something inside you snaps with that. You'd be chasing it for weeks, denied something you hadn't even dared to ask for.

You grab him by the throat as his hips roll into you, gasping out a breath before you grit your teeth and say it, forcing him to look directly at you.

"Fucking kiss me."

He laughs in your face and you fight down the shame for even daring to ask for something you wanted, something you deserved. "Is that what you want?"

You nod, squeezing his throat beneath your fingertips.

He pulls back from you - you want to claw at him and hold him to you but he pushes your hand against his throat with his own. He looks down between you, your pussy creaming around his cock and swollen clit twitching with each thrust.

You tighten the grip on the sides of his throat, feeling the hard thud of blood through his veins at your fingertips, drawing his eyes back to yours.

"Fuck, that's it, sweetheart."

He suddenly throws your arm down from his neck, pinning both if your hands down as he puts his weight on top of you.

"That what you want?" he grits out. "That what you keep coming back for? Thought you were whoring yourself out for pills, not a fuckin' kiss. Are you that fuckin' desperate?"

He's goading you, you know he is. Still, you want to scream at him, but his face is close to yours now, so terrifyingly close you could kiss him by accident if you weren't careful. Suddenly you're terrified of it, desperate but terrified.

His aquiline nose slides up the side of your face, and you stop breathing. "You want this?"

"Please." You'll be angry at yourself for begging later, right now you'd say anything if it meant he'd finally give it to you.

He drags his nose across your face, rubs his nose against yours. He's practically still inside you now, the shallow rock of his hips the only movement either of you are making. "You sure?"

"Please," you whisper again, breath ghosting across his lips. You try not to move your mouth too much, barely muttering the word in case your mouth touches his. His own breath huffs against your mouth, teasing you with the taste of him.

"S'all you want, huh?"

"Mm." He's so close you don't trust yourself to speak.

His nose nuzzles into yours, the hair on his face tickling at your sensitive top lip. Then you feel it, the bow of his top lip swiping against yours, not kissing just feeling.

You're frozen, terrified to move, terrified to feel what you've been desperate for for months.

But you made it through the worst days at the end of the world. What was fear any more except another lie.

You press your lips forward, done with waiting, done with being patient, done with putting others first. You want it so badly that finally, finally, you take it.

At the first press of your lips to his, he releases your wrists, sliding his hand down the curve of your body to hold you to him. You moan into his mouth, blinking back angry tears as you wrap your own hand around his neck to pull him in further. At first he doesn't move against you, letting you kiss the soft swell of his mouth, but when you slip your tongue against his bottom lip and breathe him in, his mouth opens and his lips press to yours, giving back everything you're taking.

"This all you wanted this whole time?" he whispers against your mouth.

"Not all I wanted," you mumble. Your eyes are closed, head dizzy from breathing so deeply, from finally doing the thing you'd literally only dreamed of.

"No?"

"No," you swallow before continuing, the shame of admission gone now. What shame could there even be when it was so obvious. You open your eyes just as you speak. "I wanted all of it."

"Yeah?" You think from the look on his face that he needed to hear it as much as you needed to say it, so you kiss him again, just because you can.

He presses his hips into you harder, making you gasp straight into his mouth, the sharp pressure of his cock so much with the fuzzy high in your head. He does it again, kissing you of his own volition this time and swallowing your moan down as he starts fucking you again, one hand settling in your hair as the other wanders your body. You can still taste the salty sweetness of your own pussy on his mouth as you lick into him.

Your own hand dances with his over your body, teasing your own nipples and stroking down, down, until you push your hand between your bodies and feel between your legs. You're a mess, sweat and the wetness from your pussy merged together to create a slip and slide of slick as he slides his cock into your tender hole. You stroke at the base of him and feel another shudder work its way through his body before you move your hand back to yourself, circling your own clit as he rocks his length into you.

"You gonna make yourself come on my cock?" he says, looking down where your hand strokes at your clit. You nod, lips brushing his, capturing him in another kiss as you moan, so close already.

"Good fuckin' girl. You rub that pretty pussy. She just fuckin' loves this dick." True.

His cock in your pussy, his hands in your hair, holding your body, your own hand strumming your clit with well practiced movements, the feeling of his lips on your own. It's all so much so quickly, everything you've been craving for so long, that the fire in your body burns so bright it explodes out of every pore before you can hold it off.

"F-fuck, Joeeel."

You come with a cry, every part of your body shuddering and convulsing, hand twitching over your own cunt as you desperately try to keep the high going as long as you can, until you're so sensitive all you can do is grip your own thigh, your nails creating half moons in the soft flesh.

"You're all mine, huh?" he says gently, still inside you now as he feels your walls pulse and twitch around him. You nod, floating from his kisses and your own high. "No one else gonna touch this pussy. S'all mine."

"S'yours."

"Needy, needy, pussy," he grunts into your mouth, as your cunt quivers around him, an aftershock pulled from you at just his words and the rasp of his coarse hair against your clit.

It hits you then, for all he called you needy you never actually asked for what you wanted, what you needed. You never took it either. Not until now. But he always did.

"I think you're just as needy as I am," you whisper.

He clicks his tongue and cocks his head. "I never said I wasn't, sweetheart."

A quick shuffle of his knees later he's pounding into you with abandon, your cunt had barely stopped throbbing by the time he started again.

"Ohhhh, god."

You don't move to kiss him again, he's chasing whatever high he needs now and you let him take it, back arching, moaning as he pounds away, cock slipping inside you with ease. The hand in your hair pulls harder, tugging your head back. You think this is going to be it, he's going to come inside you like this, but then wet kisses are being peppered across your neck and collar bone, his moans sounding more like those of a common whore than his usual grunts.

You want to come again already, so you grip him tight, hands roaming from your body to his arms, his shoulders. Your nails claw at him, pulling him closer and pushing him away, trying to tear him apart with your bare hands as he fucks you.

He moves quicker still, head buried in the crook of your neck as he holds onto you and slams home over and over. You think he's almost there - hope he is because how much more screaming can your voice take before it breaks - when he's yanking your hair again. His mouth latches to your own in a sloppy kiss, tongue fighting with yours and his cock squelching into the wet heat of your pussy as he comes undone, groaning into your mouth, shuddering, fucking ropes of thick cum into your empty cunt and never stilling for a second.

His hips stop bucking against yours before his mouth does. He kisses you softer, groaning, slowing down to catch his breath before he finally removes his lips from yours with a shuddering gasp, screwing his eyes shut.

Cum practically gushes out of you when he pulls out, and you expect him to get up and leave like he has every time before. He doesn't. Instead, he rests his head next to yours, kissing your shoulder, the warmth of his body encasing yours.

Your face finds his, nudging against his jaw. He shifts, letting you in, and your mouth finds his again. You kiss him until you turn to liquid, sighing deeply and tracing soft patterns on his skin and your own with your fingertips.

Eventually, he releases your hair, and you think the moment is truly over. But then he rolls over, flopping down next to you, the weight of him dipping the mattress and making you shift closer to his side. He closes his eyes, putting an arm behind his head, and you take the chance to look down at his naked body, his cock now soft between his legs.

The feeling that bubbles up through you rips out of your mouth in a laugh. Joel's eyes fly open, finding yours, making you laugh harder. Tears are falling from your eyes - the absurdity of it all too much to bear. So angry at him, at yourself, for weeks now. Wanting something for so long, something that it turns out you could have just reached out and grabbed. Driving yourself near mad over wanting to be touched in a way you thought he never would, when maybe all along he thought you never wanted it. You're left with nothing but small giggles and an aching belly by the time the feeling bubbles out of you completely.

You wonder how all of this must look to him. How small and naive you must look, just a silly girl giggling in his bed. If he thinks it, he doesn't voice it. He just shakes his head softly and raises an eyebrow at you, as if to ask if you're done.

You lie next to each other in silence after that. He doesn't tell you to leave, and you don't move to either. You just lie there, arms barely touching, sweat drying and cooling both of your bodies.

You'd always been okay with silence, more often than not finding yourself with nothing to say, especially these days. But something in this moment tells you to speak, and so you do, filling the silence with your own voice before the opportunity can be taken from you.

"Thanks for helping me out there," you start softly. "I know you said you wouldn't, and I'm not trying to prove a point I just... Thank you. I was looking at you. I couldn't help it. I've been... angry. At you, yeah, but mostly myself. So I was looking, but I didn't realize it was that much, I swear and I -"

"S'okay," he stops your ramble so simply and quickly you frown, an involuntary tut falls of your mouth. He casts a glance over to you, almost chastising as he continues. "Ain't lyin' when I say it though. You gotta stop lookin' at me. I really can't be lookin' out for you, just got lucky this time. There's assholes bigger than me out there."

"Doubt it," you scoff. He raises an eyebrow and runs his tongue along his teeth, daring you to say more. You don't.

You fiddle with the sheets between you, biting at your cheek and bottom lip, so much more to say but the words just ending up jumbled in your head.

"I wasn't lying either. When I said I want it. All of it." That's a start, you figure.

"You don't want me. I could be anyone."

"Maybe I don't. Never said I did. I just know that I want whatever this is," you gesture between the two of you. Whatever had started as a transaction was clearly more than that now. You enjoyed the feel of him, the way he touched you and talked to you. You enjoyed the escape of it all. It was nice to know another person in the world knew you were there, that you existed, cared about you in some way, even if it was only enough to make sure you came. "Sex was never really any good with anyone else anyway."

"I've got other people I have arrangements with. I've got Tess, I've got -"

"I know. That doesn't matter. I'm not asking you to change. I don't want anything to change. I just want..." you trail off, shrugging. "I just want this for me. I don't care what it is for you, as long as it's good too."

He looks at you, taking you in with curious eyes, working out if what you're saying is true. If really, in this moment here and now, you want this exactly as it is. "I can do that."

You think that he gets it, understands it all more than you could ever explain. The thought of that alone is more comforting than any touch he could give you. It could have been a sweet moment, if that's what you two were. But it's not, and still he ruins it anyway.

"Pussy really is no one else's but mine, huh?" There's an edge to his voice that tells you he's holding back a laugh, and you could fucking hit him.

This time, you do. You relish in the oof that leaves his body as your hand collides with the side of his chest. He catches your wrist before you can land another soft blow, your skin prickling in his firm grip. You know from the feel of his hand and the look in his eye that you'll fuck him again before you leave his apartment today.

It only takes a few minutes for you to prove yourself right. You climb on top of him all soft curves and bouncing tits, hair a mess, face scrunched and jaw relaxed as you ride him, kissing him as much as you've ever wanted. Even when your legs ache, when he starts fucking up into you with each bounce of your hips, you carry on, wanting to take from him again and have him fill you.

He never tells you to leave, but eventually you get up, putting your clothes on, tucking your torn t-shirt around you. You expect your dad will be wondering where you've got to soon.

Joel sits and watches you dress until you're stood fully clothed, looking at him lying nude on his bed, a total contrast to what happened in this room just a week ago.

You think for a moment, waiting as he gets up and walks with you back through his apartment. You take in the last few hours. The last week. The last few months of knowing Joel Miller.

"Joel?"

"Mm."

You look him up and down as you stand in front of his door, still naked as the day he was born. "You're a massive slut, you know that, right?"

He laughs. Full bellied, head back, laughs.

"Takes one to know one, sweetheart," he says with a smirk, winking as he unlatches the front door.

You kiss Joel again as you leave his apartment. He can't stop you now, and you don't think he would ever even try.

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[corazondebeskar-reads]

ain't no rest for the wicked - chapter two

ain't no rest for the wicked series

two: trouble will find you

series masterlist | prev chapter | next chapter

Tess Servopoulos x f!reader x Joel Miller

words: 6.9k

summary: After weeks of nothing, you finally hear from Tess and Joel again.

warnings: dark-ish Joel and Tess, smuggler!Joel, smuggler!Tess, boston QZ, QZ life, bittersweet ending/no happily ever after, poorly negotiated d/s-style dynamics, poor communication, enthusiastic consent, oral sex (m & f receiving), p in v, degradation, face slapping, pussy slapping, spanking, stalking, canon-typical violence, threesome, cum eating, light rope bondage, shower sex

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

Weeks go by, and nothing weird happens. You can’t say you aren’t disappointed, but they didn’t say it was going to be a repeat thing. They definitely implied it, sure, but you could be cool about it.

So you had the best orgasms of your life with two of the most unhinged people you’ve ever met. Who needs hinges, anyway? And why do people say unhinged?

Wait, does it mean open? Like they’re unhinged because they have no door? Because, in that case, they’re two of the most hinged people you’ve ever met.

God, you miss when you could ask Google. Or Yahoo. Or Jeeves. Man, the internet was so cool. You bet your fucking Neopets are dead.

By the time you circle back and decide that you’re pretty sure unhinged does not mean open, you’ve autopiloted home.

You turn the key until it clicks and push open the door to your flat. At first glance, there’s no explanation for the way the world seems tilted just so.

Except for the little folded scrap of paper on your shitty rusted table. When you pick it up, something garishly yellow flutters to the ground.

It’s unmistakably a sunflower petal. It’s winter. Where the fuck—

No. Nope. You do not want to follow that thought; you want to let it fuck right off.

You rub the petal between your fingers. It’s so sinfully soft, there’s no doubt in your mind that it’s real.

The paper just says “tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. Tomorrow what? Tomorrow when?

When you open your cabinet to grab a can of soup, the first can you pick up rattles. It also doesn’t have a lid, so. There’s that.

You groan out loud. If you don’t look and just put it back, will it disappear into the other dimension from where it came?

In the end, you peek anyway, and yep. Sunflower seeds. Baked and salted, from the smell.

The implications are unsettling. In their minds, are you cannibalizing yourself at their whim? Are you consuming yourself in a pursuit of pleasure?

Are you really fucking overthinking it?

Tomorrow. For cripes sake. There’s no way you sleep tonight.

Except once you’ve had your soup and nibbled away at most of the sunflower seeds, your full belly lures you into the quiet of the night.

You’re nearly as jittery at work as you were the first time. Granted, you’re a little less afraid of them and more anxiously excited, but the thought of them sends your leg bouncing.

Your chair squeaks the whole time.

“Hey Sam,” you say as casually as possible to your deskmate.

“What?” He says warily.

“Do you know where I could get a horseshoe?”

“A… what?”

“A horseshoe, you know, like horses wear.”

“A singular horseshoe? Do I even want to ask why?”

“Yeah, just one. And no, probably not? Let’s say I’m just really into country chic decor right now.”

Sam turns back away from you.

Typical.

You’re getting ready to leave when you realize you don’t actually remember their address. You’re pretty sure you could find the right building since you walked yourself home, but there’s an uncomfortably large margin of error.

Also, the stupid note didn’t give a time. Should you go home first? Maybe they’ve broken in again to leave a little clue?

You’re saved from figuring it out when you find Joel in exactly the same place as before. You don’t startle this time—you’d peeked around the corner on purpose.

“Hi,” you say, fingers wrapping around your backpack straps.

“Hi.” It’s brusque and he’s scowling, doesn’t even look at you.

“I-I could have walked over. I don’t wanna inconvenience—“

“You’re not. I don’t want you walkin’ by yourself.”

“Ok.” You kind of wish Tess was there. You like Joel fine, but she’s at least a little more talkative. Even if everything out of her mouth throws you off center.

Actually, this is probably fine. Maybe you’ll still have your wits about you when you get there.

He keeps a little distance ahead. Not enough to lose you in the crowd but enough that it almost looks like you aren’t following him. Like he doesn’t want to be seen with you.

You don’t have hurt feelings. It’s fine. People might think he was cheating on Tess, you get it.

Whatever the fuck they were doing with you was certainly not cheating.

Tess is already in the kitchen when you get there. Joel hovers in the living room until you head in, like he thinks maybe you’ll snoop through the apartment if he doesn’t keep watch.

You’re not that stupid. That’s a fucking death wish.

She’s cleaning a pan. Joel grumbles at her about leaving it for him, and she rolls her eyes while he pulls out your chair.

You remember this, at least, and manage not to make a fool out of yourself.

Tess dries her hands and sits down across from you. “Hey, sunflower. You miss us?”

You burn up immediately, wishing it were literal. It’s like she knows you’ve had fingers stuffed up your cunt every night, remembering how they felt. How you buried your face in the pillow and wished it was the soft folds of her.

She chuckles. “Don’t worry, we missed you too. We’ll show you how much later.”

Joel sets hot plates down in front of you both, followed by glasses of water, before he takes his own seat.

You wonder if this is a special production or if they’re letting you see their natural domesticity.

If you thought dinner last time was a delicacy, nothing could have prepared you for this.

The slab of meat is unmistakably pork and rests on a bed of baked apple slices beside yellow squash and pale zucchini rounds.

You look up from your plate with wide eyes.

“Best not to ask,” Joel says.

You nod. This time, you go slow, savoring each bite. It can’t be real, you think. It can’t really be yours.

But they let you eat everything on your plate. No one snatches it away or scolds you for touching something you don’t deserve. Tess seems downright pleased when you set your fork down for the last time.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” You finally blurt.

Tess quirks an eyebrow. “Thought we made ourselves clear last time. When you’re here, you’re ours.”

“And we take care of what’s ours,” Joel says. When you snap your head to look at him, his eyes are dark and narrowed. Like he’s angry at the insinuation that they wouldn’t.

“O-okay,” you say, fixing your gaze back on your plate.

He stands up and clears the dishes, piling them in the sink.

Tess takes you by the hand and leads you out of the room. You expect her to stop at the couch again, but she takes you into what must be their shared bedroom.

Joel shuts the door behind him when he comes in. The room is warm and dark, the winter sun having retreated for the day already.

They don’t give you a moment to work yourself up. Tess is already kissing you as she walks you back to the bed. Instead of pushing you into it like you expect, she tugs you to a stop when your knees run into the mattress.

Her mouth moves down your neck as she easily discards your clothes. You shrink a little, and she tugs on your hair, forcing your head back so you look her in the eye.

“No being shy, now,” she warns. “S’ours to look at anyway.”

She peels your arms away from where they had instinctually folded across your breasts. Moving to one side, she smirks at Joel.

“Look at your little pet, baby. Ain’t she pretty?”

His hand brushes the curve of your breast, barely making contact but drawing a shiver from you anyway. “Sure is. A real sight for sore eyes.” His thumb finds your nipple, and you moan, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

He pinches it, smirking when you gasp.

“You look like you got a plan,” he says to Tess.

“You want two cunts to fuck today, baby?” She says.

You can almost see the switch flip in his brain. “Yes, please, ma’am,” he says.

She presses a much chaster kiss to your lips before patting the mattress. “Hop up, sunflower. On your back, head right here.”

Once you’re situated, she tucks a pillow under your head and climbs on top of you, settling her cunt right where you need it. When you try to touch her, though, Joel stops you, catching your wrists.

“Keep ‘em by your sides, or I’ll tie ‘em down.”

Tess laughs, dragging a finger through your folds. “I think she wants you to, baby.”

He crouches down by your head. “S’that so?”

You look at him from where you’re trying to reach Tess with your mouth, but she’s lifted her hips just a little too high. You whine.

“Yes, sir.”

His grin is otherworldly, all sharp teeth and shadow. “Attagirl,” he says, patting your cheek.

His hands are gentle but competent as he binds each wrist to the bed, stretched out to the posts of the footboard. Tess sits on your face while he works, letting you overstimulate yourself between her wet cunt and his control.

Once you’re secure, she leans forward and flicks her tongue over your clit, pulling a gasp that deepens into a drawn-out moan as she continues.

You whine when she lifts her hips back up just too far for you to lick inside her. Joel grabs your hair and holds you in place, dipping his cock into your mouth.

“Get it nice and wet for her, sunflower.”

You try your very hardest to give him the sloppiest blowjob you can while being held still.

When he pulls out, he presses his balls to your mouth, and you respond with soft licks as he notches his tip at the slick entrance of Tess’s cunt.

“Lick her,” he grunts, resisting the urge to plunge in all the way.

You’re on fire. This has to be, hands down, the filthiest thing you’ve ever done, but he props the pillow up more so you don’t have to strain your neck when you lick down his cock to where he’s splitting her open.

She moans into your pussy.

He holds you there, with your tongue flat against where he pushes in deeper. When he’s buried, you flick your tongue to his balls and back.

“Suck them,” he pants, and you obey, stretching your mouth around him.

He starts to thrust gently, not wanting to jostle himself against your teeth, but he loses patience eventually and yanks you off to shove you to her clit.

You’re squirming as she works you over, three fingers deep, stretching you to get you ready for Joel. You suck and lick at her clit as she cums, meaning to lick her through it and keep going for another.

But Joel tugs you back to lick where she leaks around him.

You’re glad he tied you down. It’s all so much, almost too much, and you don’t think you could have held still. The rope’s embrace holds the last shred of your sanity.

At some point, you started whimpering against them, pleading as best you can without pulling your mouth away.

“Aw, you wanna cum?” she mocks with an affected simper.

“No,” Joel grunts, his hips snapping hard against her. “Only way she's coming tonight is on my cock.”

You sob a little bit, and she pulls back to slap your aching clit. Your hips buck, and you nearly lose the fight.

“Oh, she fuckin’ loved that, baby,” she tells him.

“‘Course she did, she’s a fuckin’ slut for us.” He says.

You moan. You think you should probably care that they’re talking about you like this. Actually, you do care. You care a lot. It’s so fucking hot.

“You’re just our little whore, sunflower?” he says.

You nod minutely with Tess’s clit pinched between your lips, and she cums again, her slick rubbing on your face with each stroke of his dick.

“Alright,” she says, tapping his hand where it grips her hip.

He pulls out and unties your wrists. Tess lets you keep lapping at her for a minute, but when you’re free, she slides off you and sprawls, languid and satisfied.

He gives you a light slap on the cheek. “Trade places.”

You sit up and lay on your stomach to the side to let Tess move to where you had been. But first, she rolls to face you and pulls you in for a deep, slow kiss.

You go to tangle your fingers in her hair, but she catches your wrist, rubbing her thumb over the ridges left behind.

“That’s enough,” Joel growls, yanking you by the ankle.

Tess laughs. “Don’t wanna be left out, baby?”

“Wanna get my fuckin’ dick back in one of ya,” he says.

She gets situated with her head down at the end of the bed and tugs at you to climb over her. You waste no time diving back into her cunt until Joel smacks you hard on the ass.

“Did I tell you to start up?”

“No, sir,” you say, voice breaking a little with desperation and a little shame.

He slaps the other side of your ass for good measure. Unlike the way he eased into Tess, he doesn’t wait to push into you.

You’re so grateful for Tess stretching you out before. His cock feels impossible. You cry out into her bush.

Your wriggle, and she holds you still with a powerful grip on your hips, licking at your clit while he shoves forward.

“That’s right. Shit,” he slaps your ass again when you squirm. “Hold still and fucking take it, girl.”

Your cries are muffled, but you’re not protesting. It’s just so fucking much.

Tess distracts you from the sting and pinch of him by gently biting your clit, which hurts a hell of a lot more but also makes you a hell of a lot wetter, ultimately easing his passage. Enough so that he slams the rest of the way in.

Your mind whites out when he starts pounding into you. Tess shifts to lick at where you’re broken open on him, and your fists tighten in the sheets.

“Please,” you whine, breaking away from her cunt only long enough to beg.

“What d’you think, baby? She been good enough for you tonight?”

He rubs his hand over the side of your thigh and hums. You hold your breath. You’re pretty sure he’s just teasing you, but it’s a fucking struggle not to cum.

“Yeah, she’s been a real good girl,” he says. “Go on, sunflower, cum on my fucking cock.”

It hurts. It hurts where you clamp down around him. It hurts where Tess is relentless against your clit. But it’s maybe the hardest you’ve ever come—you’re pretty sure you blacked out.

When the world filters back in around you, you’re laying with your head on her, giving pathetic little kitten licks to her clit. Joel’s fucking you down into her, and when he sees that you’re semi-present, he shoves your head back into her folds.

“Again,” he snarls, and your body listens. Spasms. Falls apart again.

Vaguely, you’re aware of him begging Tess and desperately asking where he’s allowed to come. Whatever they decide, he pulls out abruptly. She slips out from under you and yanks you onto your back, swinging a leg over your hip to grind against you.

You reach for her with limp arms, and she finally, finally lets you cup her breasts as Joel tugs his aching cock and warm cum splatters across your face, tits, and arms.

You don’t even hear him walk away, but he comes back a minute later with a warm, damp towel to find you scooping some of his cum into your mouth. He groans, cock twitching.

“You gotta stop that, sunflower, or I’m gonna need that mouth again.”

You look up at him with wide eyes and part your lips.

He fists his cock and looks at Tess. She’s dozing off already but nods. He cleans her first, gently wiping away incidental splatter and residue of her own pleasure from her thighs.

You wait patiently with your mouth open and he rewards you by easing gently into your throat. He’s fully hard again now.

He fills your throat easier at this angle. Well, easier for him.

“Breathe,” he says, gripping the back of your head. “That’s it, sunflower, just breathe. You’re takin’ it so well.”

He helps himself to handfuls of your breasts, rubbing and tugging at your nipples while he chases his second orgasm.

“Cum with me. Show me what a fuckin’ cumslut you are,” he grunts between thrusts.

Tess leans over close to you. “Don’t swallow, sunflower.”

He pulls out a little right as he cums to let it pool in your mouth. It’s a fucking struggle as you let your own orgasm roll over you. When he pulls out, Tess pulls you in for a kiss and shares in his spend.

Again, the fucking filthiest sex you’ve ever had. You’re not sure how you managed it, but you’re not going to voice a single damn doubt, not going to risk whatever this is.

He finally cleans you off and putters around the room, tossing the towel in a hamper and tugging his clothes back on.

“I’m followin’ her home,” he murmurs to Tess while you’re in the bathroom.

She sits up. “What happened?”

“Tell ya more when I get back. But her place is too close to the boundary, and I caught a little tip-off when I was waiting to pick her up.”

Tess frowns but by the time you come out, dressed and refreshed, they’re lounging on the bed.

“C’mere,” Tess says before you can speak or move for the door. She tugs you down to the bed. “How’re you feeling?”

“Good,” you say automatically. You’re not actually sure. Everything’s a little fuzzy; the world wrapped in a cotton ball. You may or may not be shaking a little.

“You sure you’re okay to get home safe?”

“Mhm.” Your eyes are heavy, though, and the way her nails are tracing swirls up and down your arm is making you woozy.

You must have dozed a little because Joel’s coming back in the room and you didn’t know he ever left.

He hands you a mug of tea and sets a plate on the bed beside you.

“Gotta eat something. Y’look like ya might faint on your way,” he says at your crinkled face.

You sip from the tea and close your eyes as the warmth and sweetness crawl through you. “Thank you,” you say.

Tess has you leaning against her still, and you stay that way while you eat the sandwich Joel made. As it dwindles, your awareness of the situation grows stiff and uncomfortable.

You sit up. “Thank you, but um. I better get going.” You’re only a little dizzy when you stand up.

Joel takes the dishes out of your hands. “Sure you’re alright?”

“Yep,” you lie. “So, um. Have a good night.” It feels stilted, after what you’ve all just shared, but what else do you say to your two-time hookups? You skedaddle before it can get weirder.

You would have said yes this time, you think, if he had offered to walk you home again.

It’s only a week later when there’s a knock at your door.

There’s never a knock at your door. No one visits; there’s no one to visit.

You stare at the door for a minute, sitting on your bed eating room-temperature peas out of a can with your only spoon. The noise had startled you, and now you’re going to have to launch a search and rescue mission.

It knocks again. Well. Not it, you suppose, not the door. Whoever is on the other side.

You stand up, spoon hanging from your mouth, and open it with the chain still latched.

“Y’ain’t even gonna ask who it is?” Joel snaps.

You shut it and remove the chain, opening it all the way to reveal his scowl.

“Hi,” you say through clenched teeth where they hold onto the spoon. You’ve got one hand on the door and the other on your can of peas.

“You don’t even have a peephole. What’re you doing, just opening the door for strangers?”

“You’re not a stranger.” You’ve stuck the spoon into the remaining peas so you can speak clearly.

“You didn’t know it was me.”

You step back to let him in, eyeing him as he steps through the doorway.

He narrows his eyes at you. “What? I got somethin’ on my face?”

“No,” you say, not at all suspiciously, and cringe internally when your eyes can’t help but dart up and then back to him.

He turns and looks above the door where you’ve nailed a blue plastic horseshoe. Despite his apprehension, Sam had actually found one—leftover from some children’s game.

Though now you were wondering if it was less about the horseshoe shape and more about the properties of a ferried shoe. Maybe intent? Maybe the metal? Maybe it had to have been worn by a horse? You had never really listened to your grandmama. She was just a crazy old lady.

Or at least, you thought she was. But now there are mushroom zombies, so. Who knows.

Joel looks back at you with an eyebrow raised. “Doing some decorating?”

“Uh-huh,” you mumble, trying not to feel embarrassed. Then you remember that Joel being here is the weird part of this situation. You refuse to feel weirder than that.

“So, um,” you start.

He steps closer and tucks his fingers under your chin, thumb brushing over your cheek. It’s impressive how little it takes now for your brain to shut up.

“Hi,” you squeak.

“Y’said that already, sunflower.” He takes the can from you and sets it on the counter.

“Right,” you say, feeling a little ensnared by his gaze. “You have really pretty eyes.”

To your surprise, he blushes a little. His eyes go wide and his lips part. Instead of a response, he hides his reaction by kissing you so you’re too close to see the pink of his cheeks.

He turns you so he can press you against the door, licking into your mouth and pressing a thigh between your legs. It turns hungry very quickly, and you moan, spurring him on to slide his hands up your shirt.

“Not that I—“ you try, but he doesn’t let up. “Ah—hang on,” you turn your face.

He takes it as an invitation to nip and suck on your neck. You’re still distracted, but at least you can attempt to string together a sentence.

“Not that I mind,” a gasp draws out the words, “but why-yyy are you here?”

“Wanted your advice on interior design,” he says, jerking his head to the horseshoe, “but I think I’ve changed my mind.”

“Oh, shut up,” you try to say, but he’s latched back on to the sensitive area near your shoulder that has you abandoning your train of thought.

“Need you,” he says against your skin before he breaks away to tug your shirt over your head.

You can’t argue with that. Well, you could, but why would you want to when he’s got his hands and mouth on your breasts?

He grabs and pins your wrists above your head in one hand. The other pinches at whichever nipple isn’t currently in his mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you gasp.

He smirks around his mouthful before biting down so you cry out. His fingers find the seam of your leggings, stroking over to feel you squirm.

“Please,” you whimper.

He slaps your breast. “You wanna try that again?”

“Please, sir.”

“Down.”

You sink to your knees, but he doesn’t pull his cock out right away. Instead, he cups your cheek in his hand, watching closely as your eyes flutter shut and you lean against his hand.

“You still okay with all this?” he says, immovable gruffness betrayed by a hint of genuine concern.

You nod against his hand.

He draws his hand back, and a whine from you. It’s cut off by a sharp, but clearly restrained, slap. “Words, princess.”

“Yes, sir.” It caught you off guard, but you find you like the faint sting and heat of it.

“Yeah? Even that?”

He seems serious, no hint of a smirk or glint to his eye, so you pause to consider.

“I liked it,” you decide. “Felt nice. Made me want to please you.”

Now he grins and slaps you again. It’s not hard enough to leave a mark, just enough to make you gasp.

The heat spreads through you, and your mouth falls open, eyes following his hand as it drags away from your face to grasp his length through his pants.

“See what you’ve done?” He grips your chin tight with his other hand. “Gonna take care of that for me?”

“Please, sir.”

He pops the button open on his jeans and drags the zipper down unbearably slowly. You whine, and his fingers dig into your jaw.

“Be good,” he says. He draws his cock out and gives himself a few strokes just an inch from your mouth.

You look up at him and stick your tongue out. You want to whine, but you’re afraid if you’re not good, he’ll just fuck his hand.

He releases your chin. “Go on,” he says.

You kiss the sticky tip, licking the residue from your lips before taking his cock into your mouth. You moan in tandem, and his hand finds purchase on the back of your head.

“This place is kind of a shithole,” he says, looking around your tiny cube of a home.

“Gee, tha—“

He doesn’t let you finish, shoving you back down on his cock.

He fucks into you for a while, enjoying the way you moan around him when his dick bruises the back of your throat.

When he yanks you back suddenly, you gasp for air but try to get your mouth back around him.

“No, stop,” he says. “I don’t wanna cum yet. Want your cunt.”

You whine, and he almost caves, looking at the pure hunger with which you’re regarding his swollen, angry cock.

“I said no,” he says instead, jerking your head a little.

“Sorry, sir,” you say with a sigh.

He looks over your shoulder. “Y’ain’t even got a fuckin’ bed.”

You follow his gaze to your perfectly fine mattress. “I do so!”

“That ain’t a bed, sunflower. That’s a mattress with no box or frame.”

“Wait, hang on, haven’t you been here already?”

“Nah, that was Tess who stopped by.”

“That’s a funny way to say broke in.”

He quirks an eyebrow. “You complainin’?”

You look up at the horseshoe for a moment. “Nah, I guess not.”

He looks at it, too, and back to you. “I don’t wanna know. You got a shower?”

“You hate my bed that much?”

“No, I’ve been shovelin’ ash all day. M’not gonna fuck you like this, just need to rinse off.” He should have gone home first, he knows, but going back to an empty apartment just compounds his anxiety. He took a hard labor job on purpose, hoping it would distract him from the tightness in his chest.

It’s not that he doesn’t know Tess can handle herself. He just hates it when she goes alone for a deal.

“Yeah, okay,” you say. Before you move the towel away from the bathroom door, you stomp hard a couple of times and then wait a moment before opening it.

He decides not to ask.

“C’mon,” he says, tugging you by the hand into the tiny bathroom. At least you have a combination tub, so it won’t be too tight of a squeeze.

You start the shower for him and dig around in the cabinet for a clean towel. He reaches past you and grabs another.

“Wh—I got you one,” you protest.

“Y’ain’t gettin’ in with me?”

Oh. “Oh,” you say. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“But do you want to?” he asks, suddenly very close, backing you up against the sink. His hand lingers at the side of your throat.

“Uh-huh,” you nod.

“Then get in,” he says, tugging you away from the counter and giving a smack to your ass.

You yelp and strip down as he does the same. But he stops halfway through shucking off his pants after looking at the tile where his shirt landed.

“Do you eat in here?”

“What? No.”

“There are crumbs all over the floor.”

“Oh, those’re for Estella and Georgie.”

“I don’t want to know, do I?”

“Probably not.” You pause. “On second thought, you should. They’re mice. Please don’t hurt them.”

“Estella and Georgie are mice.”

“Yeah.”

“From outside.”

“Yeah.”

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. His exasperation does not, you’d like to point out, stop him from stepping into the shower behind you.

His body cages you in, wrapping himself around you from behind. He rests his chin on your shoulder for a moment while his hands dance down each rib and over your stomach. They slide back up to your breasts, crossed to hold you against his chest while he gropes you.

You arch a little, as much as you can in his iron grip, and revel in the press of his hard cock against your ass. He groans when you roll your hips against it. You whine when he releases you, and he swats at your thigh.

“Let me get clean,” he scolds. “That was the whole point of this.”

Still, he can’t resist lathering your tits with his soapy hands and drinking the moans from your lips.

“I thought you were gonna fuck me,” you whine.

His fingers wrap around your throat and squeeze just so, sending sparks down your spine.

“I thought you were gonna be my good little girl,” he growls in your ear.

You whimper, involuntarily grinding back against him. “I want to. Please, I want to be—”

“What? Say it, baby.”

“I wanna be good,” you say.

His hand tightens until you squeak a little. “No, no, baby. Say, ‘I want to be your good little girl, sir.’”

You’re burning up. You can’t even blame the shower, because even the hottest water you get isn’t that hot. You whisper it back.

He eases up on your throat. “Can’t hear ya. Speak up.”

“I want to be your good little girl!” you blurt. “Um. Sir.”

He chuckles, dark and low, and the breath sends goosebumps skittering down your arms. “Yeah? You want to be my good girl and take my cock?” His hand slides down, almost where you need it, but he stops short of parting your lips, the tip of his finger brushing gently.

“Please,” you whine.

His middle finger dips in just enough to graze your clit. “I don’t think you want it bad enough.”

You grind back against him; a frustrated sob lodged in your throat. It slips free when he rubs a slow, gentle circle. “Please, sir. Please fuck me.”

You cry out when he pulls his hand away, but it’s only so he can push you up against the wall, hand between your shoulder blades to bend you forward. You brace yourself on the chilly cheap plastic.

He takes himself in hand and rubs the head of his cock against your slippery cunt. “I dunno. Doesn’t seem like you really want to get fucked.”

“But I’m so wet,” you protest.

“We’re in the shower, sunflower, ‘course you’re wet.”

You’re rapidly losing your grip on your sanity and also the wall, so you reach back and grab his hips, shoving yourself onto his cock. You’re not stretched enough to take it all, not even with your momentum, but the fat head of him pushes into you.

You and Joel gasp in unison, his hands tightening where they hold you, fingernails digging in. You moan, bringing your hands back to the wall as he pushes forward, voice breaking into a keen as he splits you.

He groans and grinds in deeper. “What a greedy fucking slut,” he says, having regained his senses. “Couldn’t wait, huh? You need it that bad?”

“Uh-huh,” you pant between thrusts.

“Alright,” he says, and then he stops. He holds still, buried balls-deep.

“No,” you sob.

“What?” He cracks a hand across your ass, grinning when you moan. “You want it that bad? Go ahead. Fuck yourself on my cock.”

You do. You rock yourself on it, trying to chase your pleasure on him. He grabs a fistful of your hair, to which you sputter a protest. You’d been careful so far not to get it wet.

“You got something to say?” He spanks you again. “Spit it out.”

But you’ve already forgotten about your hair, because no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to get the angle right. Your orgasm lies far out of reach.

You whine instead. “Please fuck me.”

“What’s the matter? You’re the one who helped yourself to my cock. Now ya don’t know what to do with it?”

You think you might actually cry. No, yep, tears are stinging in the corners of your eyes. You look back at him over your shoulder and hope you look pathetic enough for him to take mercy.

“Aw, baby, look at you,” he croons. “Shouldn’t have been so greedy, huh?”

“M’sorry,” you say. “M’sorry, sir, I promise I’ll be good.”

“You better,” he says, and then finally, finally shoves roughly into you.

The pace he sets meticulously takes you apart. His cock batters at you, his tight grip on your body unrelenting as he takes and takes and takes.

“So much better now, huh?” he says.

“Yes—oh fuck, s-so much. Thank you, sir.”

“Attagirl,” he moans. “Touch yourself, baby.”

You’re quick to obey, longing for his thick, calloused fingers.

But he knows that already. “See? Ya just can’t do it right yourself. Just let me make you feel good, okay?”

You’re nodding before he’s done talking. He wrenches your hand away and reaches down to pinch your clit.

“Now,” he growls. It’s a good thing, too, because you were already starting to fall apart.

He fucks you through it, and another, and another. Between the contrast of the warm water and cold wall, the brutal slap of his hips against your ass, and the dizzying pleasure, you feel fuzzy around the edges.

“Ah, fuck,” he groans. “Kneel.”

He steps back just enough to let you turn and drop to your knees. The water ricochets off his back as he plunges into your waiting mouth, and you swallow him down.

When he eases out, you’re soaked from the spray.

“Think we need to clean up again?” you say.

“Nah, why bother? I ain’t done with you yet.”

“What?” you gasp.

“Not a chance, sweetheart. Dry off and go lay on that sad little thing you call a bed for me, alright?”

It’s actually easier for him this way, he tells you with a smirk. “Ain’t gotta worry about my knees.” He’s lowered himself to the floor, with your ass perched on the end of the mattress.

Practically lounging, he’s spread your thighs to carve a space for himself, holding you as he takes his sweet time. For a goddamn eternity, all he does is kiss and bite your thighs, with the occasional soft lick to your folds. But he doesn’t dip in, doesn’t seek out your pleasure.

No, it’s very clear that this is for him. Which is not to say he doesn’t want you to feel good; he very much does. But tonight, he has the luxury of time and a comfortable angle to do whatever the fuck he wants.

You’re shaking, legs trembling, when his tongue finally nudges inside, just a quick flit of his tongue into your cunt before he drags it up to your clit.

“Please,” you sob, much like you have been. But this time, it’s different. He can tell from the way you’re squirming and clenching down.

“Give it to me,” he growls into you, and sucks at your clit until you come.

It feels like hours. There’s no way it can be, really, but he works you over again and again until you can’t take it anymore. You’re crying, real tears sliding down the sides of your face, and your hips move of their own accord in an attempt to escape.

He doesn’t let you out of it that easy. His hand comes down against your cunt before you realize he let go of your leg. And fuck, it feels good, but also, you might be dying?

“Can’t, I can’t,” you whine.

“You sure? I think you got one more in ya.”

“Fuck,” you sob.

He eases up a little, fucking you with his tongue while his fingers rub gently around your clit. When you cum, you have to bite your fist not to scream. He holds you down with a strong arm across your hips as you buck and struggle.

But he backs off as soon as you’re coming down. “Attagirl, that’s it. So good for me,” he murmurs, climbing up onto the mattress beside you.

He rolls you over into his arms and kisses your forehead, nose, and lips. “Such a good girl, takin’ everything I wanted.”

You’re limp. You think maybe he’s one of those vampires. What did they call them? Energy vampires? Or are you thinking of some kind of demon?

Anyway, you think he drained your life force out of your cunt. You can’t keep your eyes open, and your limbs are heavy. You’re sleepin’ with the fishes, you think, and giggle a little.

“You okay?” he says.

“Mhm, m’just so sleepy,” you mumble. Even your lips feel too heavy to move.

“I gotcha, sunflower; you can sleep.” He kisses your forehead again and tugs your comforter up around you both.

There’s a knock on your door for the second time in twelve hours. That’s more than the last twelve months.

You startle awake and yank the sheet up to your neck, but relax a little when you see Joel. He’s already hefted himself up and approached the door.

The knock comes again, but this time you notice there’s a pattern to it.

“Who is it?” he says anyway.

“Just me,” Tess says.

Joel unlatches the locks and lets her in.

“Thought I might find you here,” she says, low and quiet.

“You okay?” he says.

“Yeah, but I need your help with some cleanup. How’s she?”

“Good,” you whisper.

Tess does a double take. “Thought you were sleeping, sunflower.”

“Was, but people keep banging my door down today.” You yawn and for some reason, reach your arms up.

She obliges your sleepy plea, coming close enough to bend down and kiss you. “Don’t worry,” she says. “We’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” you agree. But something falls in your spine, something sad and heavy and taboo.

“I gotta go back out. Meet me downstairs,” she says to Joel, who’s getting his filthy clothes back on. She gives you a kiss on the forehead. “Be a good girl and go back to sleep.”

You hum your agreement and lay back down against your pillow.

Joel crouches down by the mattress. “Sorry, sunflower, we gotta get goin’,” he says, giving your cheek a brief caress.

The disappointment is there and gone so fast, he thinks maybe he imagined it. Maybe he just wanted to see it.

But it was real, much to your displeasure. You didn’t want them to think you were getting greedy, that you felt any entitlement to their time.

“Okay.”

“Need ya to lock up behind us.”

“Just turn the thingy before you close the door,” you mumble, trying to spare your poor feet the pain of the frigid floor.

The look he levels you is nothing short of furious. “You tryin’ to be funny?”

“No?”

“That flimsy little joke ain’t gonna protect you. Your hinges are too weak; anyone could kick that in. At least the deadbolt and chain would buy you a minute.”

“It’s cold,” you whine. But you know he’s right. After all, Tess got in and out without causing any damage. Hang on, though. What was that about weak hinges?

Does that make you… unhinged? You laugh out loud at your joke. Your daddy always said it was a good thing you thought you were funny, ‘cause no one else would.

He ignores it and yanks the blanket off you.

“Hey!”

“You can have it back when you get up.”

“Mean.”

“You think this is mean? I’m fixin’ to put you over my knee and change your little attitude.”

Your eyes go wide, and there’s a tell-tale heart(beat) buried beneath your panties. “You wouldn’t.”

“You damn well know I would.”

You swallow hard around the sudden ache in your throat where his cock should be.

You get up and shuffle over to him. “Alright, quit yer bitchin’. I’m here, and I will lock all the locks.”

He wraps the blanket around your shoulders. “Good girl,” he says and presses a brief kiss to your forehead. Before you even register it, he’s gone, door clacking shut behind him.

You lock all the locks and climb back in bed, but sleep doesn’t find you again.

next chapter

*title from "Trouble is a Friend" by Lenka

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #tess servopoulos x reader x joel miller #tess x reader #tess x joel #joel miller x tess servopoulos #joel miller x reader x tess servopoulos #tess servopoulos x you #tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopolous x joel miller x you #tlou smut #tlou fics #the last of us fics #the last of us fic #the last of us smut #fic: ain't no rest for the wicked

[ohraicodoll]

i see a prompt request 👀 what about “stop trying to help me it’s just hurting you” with feral reader… maybe joel is the one helping her with the adjustment to settlement life in wyoming? or they’re out on a run and she gets hurt? anything tbh you decide

Yesssss I am all for this one. I had some downtime and managed to write this so fast. So have some angst and maybe some lore and both of them fighting lol

Left Behind Joel Miller x f!Reader/OFC The Last of Us 2.5k Words (3rd POV) (Lots of callbacks to Monsters but not necessary to read first. Feral Reader's name is used sparingly so yes, she's technically more an OFC as you get lore in this one) Summary: Settling into life in Jackson wasn't going so easily and Joel is hit with the possibility she may not be welcomed to stay.

“Joel, she’s trouble, man,” Tommy ran a hand through his hand exasperatedly, pacing the hard packed ground in front of both their homes, “I know shit was rough out there. Hell, the three of you were practically hissing at everyone when you came through that first time, but it’s been a couple months. She’s scaring half the town and you’re scaring the other half acting like her goddamn guard dog.”

The older Miller brother clenched his jaw, hands on his hips and trying not to show how much his split open knuckles smarted, “I wouldn’t have to if those assholes would stop treating her like a fucking pariah or giving her shit every time she tries to stand up for herself.” “You have got to admit it’s not exactly like she’s giving them much reason not to act that way,” Tommy sighed and spread his hands pleadingly, “She threatened to stab Johnny at the lumberyard through his hand for looking at her weird, not to mention I’ve already had to take her off patrol duty with anyone but you after she beat Grant-” “That boy learned the hard way to keep his hands to himself,” Joel cut him off.

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head, before glancing back at his house where his very pregnant wife currently was, “Brother, I can’t have her acting this way. I get it’s not perfect here, but we can’t have trouble like this. Maria…she’s already considering that if Red doesn't get her shit together she may not be welcome to stay.” Silence fell between the two, boiling and tense. He didn’t have to even look up to know the look on his older brother’s face at his words, could feel it as if flames were on his skin. It was like lighting a match around gasoline, waiting for the whole thing to ignite. He knew that as much as his brother cared about the young girl in his charge, he also cared about the woman that came along with them. And when Joel Miller cared about something, he’d go through hell for them. “That’s not gonna happen,” Joel bit out harshly, snarling. His irises had darkened to almost black, the hints of hazel swallowed almost entirely. His body was tight, a wire begging to snap. But the younger of the two could only shake his head, feeling lost and unable to comprehend what to do. Torn between the home he had helped create and protect, his wife who had the weight of the community on her shoulders while preparing to give birth to his first kid, and his brother’s protectiveness over the rough woman currently inside the house. “Just get it sorted. Talk to her. My hands are tied, I can only do so much,” Tommy sighed, turning and heading back across the lot to his own home and life. Joel didn’t watch him leave. His eyes were trained on the ground, blood roaring in his ears as he replayed the words over and over again. They were considering kicking Red out. He’d dragged her all over the country, to Wyoming then Colorado and Salt Lake and back to Jackson, forcing her to settle down only for her to get kicked out. He knew she was having a hard time. She’d never stayed in a QZ, had stayed out in the world too long alone or with the wrong people and didn’t know how to deal with a community like this. Normal people who didn’t have to tear each other apart for scraps. While he and Ellie didn’t have the smoothest transition and were still rough around the edges, they’d managed while the woman had hit wall after wall. She was defensive, quick to react and bare her teeth. It was fine out beyond the gates but inside Jackson where everyone was trying to find a new normal it had caused issues. One of the steel workers was Grant’s brother and hadn’t taken kindly to her beating the shit out of him. He had refused to give her some parts they needed for the house and then called her a bitch when she’d slapped his payment down and went to snatch the items. But he hadn’t registered Joel around the corner listening and before they all knew it his fist was flying into the man’s face. He’d have done more if Tommy hadn’t broken them up. But his brother was right and she did have a reputation, had scared a lot more than half the town. He’d seen the way mothers had pulled their kids away or the looks some of the guardsmen gave her. Ellie had told off more than a few, shouting across the plaza when she’d catch it, defensive. He’d watched Red shrink in the settlement, only fully confident like she usually was outside of Jackson. He’d figure it out. He had to. 

With a deep sigh, he turned and went inside. Ellie had been sent to take care of the errands and get the groceries they both knew Red wouldn’t be able to get. The teenager was understanding and was doing the best she could to help, keeping any complaints to herself or to him when they were alone to not burden the woman. She was as protective of her as he was of both of them. The house was quiet. It was all something he was still getting used to. Having a house again, a home where he didn’t have to worry about getting attacked or FEDRA raids, no more furniture salvaged from garbage dumps and pipes that rattled without a drop of hot water. Jackson made it easy to get comfortable, to feel like it was before the world was ravaged. Easy for him at least. He paused and waited a moment, hearing the almost imperceptible sound of breathing on his good side before he rounded the kitchen counter and looked down. Red sat on the tiled floor, knees pulled up to her chest, head resting back against the cabinet doors. Her face was blank but he’d learned to read the small hints of thoughts on her face. Lips pressed tight, eyes focusing on her nails even as he hovered. She’d heard. He knew she had. “Should I start packing my bag now or wait for Maria to give me the word?” she chewed on her lip, feigning nonchalance. “Neither. You ain’t going nowhere,” Joel bit out with a furrowed brow. She laughed humorlessly, mouth turning into a grimace, “That’s not up to you, Tex.” Those eyes looked up finally, met his, and he could see the resignation there. This wasn’t something she was going to fight if they made her leave. She’d do it and he knew why, knew it was for them, but refused to accept it. “Like hell it ain’t.” “Stop,” abruptly getting to her feet, she hissed at him, “Just stop it. Stop trying to help me. It’s only hurting you and Ellie. You have actual family here, Joel. Flesh and blood family. You could murder someone and they’d still keep you here and Ellie as well, but I’m a liability. To you, to her, to all of them. I get it.” “I don’t give a fuck if you get it, Red,” Joel was angry, getting into her face, “They’re not kicking you out. End of conversation.” “Not end of fucking conversation,” she growled, “I’m not risking yours and Ellie’s only chance at a safe, stable life. If that means I go back out there then so be it.”

“God, you’re so fuckin’ stubborn sometimes,” he all but yelled through his teeth. A laugh tore from her, sharp and loud, her brow raised, “Oh that’s hilarious coming from you.” He wanted to beat his fist through the fucking wall, pick up a glass and shatter it if only to release some of the frustration dealing with her gave him. That damn martyrdom that he hadn’t ever been able to get rid of, scream out of her no matter how many times he told her to stop it. She was so willing to throw herself away for his or Ellie’s sake as if what happened to her didn’t matter and it drove him insane every single time. “You better quit that shit,” Joel ground out between clenched teeth, “That stupid fucking selfless bullshit. For what? As punishment because you lost some people? That…fucking Harry you were with?” He hadn’t ever brought up the name she had mentioned once because he knew what it was like for someone to bring up the past. She hadn’t offered much of her background and he never asked, but there had been small moments. That name had stuck in his brain though, like the little stars tattooed on her collarbone and the “love ya” on her skin in someone else’s handwriting. 

The silence following his words were deafening, all emotion wiped off her face. It was as if someone had scrubbed away anything that made her a person, human, in seconds. 

Then something darker took over and twisted and she smiled, a showing of teeth, and eyes so hollow they seemed like caverns, “Is that what you think? That I’m punishing myself over some boyfriend that died when the world fell apart as if most of the fucking population didn’t also die too? That I’m what? A sad little heartbroken girl pining over some lost love?” A laugh left her lips and it felt like poison, dripping venom. He clenched his fist, anger burning hot, but he knew better than to say anything or approach her when she was like this. Dangerous. Sometimes she was so dangerous he wondered how he had ever thought it was safe to turn his back on her. “That’s real sweet, Tex…I shot him, you know?” she laughed again, not a bit of humor on her face, “Not because he was infected. No. He wasn’t even bit, didn’t have a scratch on him. He was fully alive and healthy before I blew his face right off.” She’d mentioned the man’s name long ago on the road when they’d gotten drunk out. It had slipped out of her covered in pain and regret, Harry and her younger sister, how she'd been barely starting her life when the apocalypse hit. A singer. Ellie had mentioned she had been trying to be a singer and he’d always pictured a bright eyed girl unprepared for what was to come. He had wondered if that death had been what had broken her, guttered her and tore out her soul to the point she lived on instinct only, how that girl had become the hissing creature before him. Now he wasn’t so sure.

Stepping closer to him, he resisted the urge to back away, to show that he was like the rest of them and scared of her too. She almost smiled wider and he knew she was expecting him to, a test almost, “You see we were on a run. Harry, me, and Annie. Spooked some runners so we booked it out of the building because back then I wasn’t much of a fighter, hadn’t learned yet. So I trusted him to keep us safe. Yet, lo and behold, when we get through the front door and I turn around, I see him.” Her words were made of broken glass that cut her apart and made her mouth bleed, devastation and rage coating each one but he didn’t move or try to comfort her lest he got cut too, “Harry had shoved my sister behind so he could get through first then shut the door in her face. I watched them through the glass tear her apart, screaming my name, because I had trusted him to have her back. Instead he got her killed. So I killed him.”

There was no smile then.  He remembers how they met. Ellie had fallen behind while running from scavengers because he hadn’t put her in front of him. It had been Red who had saved her and like a missing puzzle piece, he could see the picture come together. Knowing her now and how it wasn’t normal for her to go out of her way to help strangers, but she’d helped them.

Because Annie had fallen behind once before and she couldn’t save her. Blamed herself for her death.

“It was my fault and I’ll be damned if I ruin both of your chances at staying here where you are safer. Not because of me,” the snarl had left her face, hackles dropping until just the woman was left. Exhausted and a little sad and lost. It’d broken her, he knew that. In the same way Sarah’s death had left him a shell. But he’d kept going for Tommy, Tess, and eventually Ellie.

She hadn’t had anyone until them and now she thought she was putting them at risk.

Joel frowned and stepped forward, their chests almost pressed together, before cupping her face between his hands. His knuckles were bruised and bloody still, but neither of them cared, had never cared about getting blood on the other, “I hate to break it to you, darlin’, but if you think after that I’d still let you go then you’re wrong. I learned my lesson last time we were in Jackson. We stick together. No one’s getting left behind.”

Her eyes squeezed shut, a broken sigh leaving her lips. Her hands came up and gripped his waist, fingers wrapping around his belt tightly like he was a lifeline. Resignation wrapped her entirely in its embrace and he knew the fight had gone out of her, “I…I don’t know how to be around these people. There’s too many of them and they all stare…I’m going to mess up.”

The admission brought a slight smile to his lips, a crack in the defense she had attempted to put between them and a sign that she was giving in, “Well I think as long as you don’t try to maul or kill anyone and maybe limit to punching one or two people a month, that’ll be good enough.”

She huffed exasperatedly, head falling forward and leaning against his chest. His thumb traced her cheek, the other combing through the tangled mess that was her hair. For all she used to gripe at Ellie for taking care of her own, she wasn’t much better. But the strands were still soft and he took advantage of it when he could, feeling her relax against him.

“I’ll talk to Tommy and Maria. You just give yourself time to adjust and try,” Joel murmured, “We’ll figure it out, but you’re not going anywhere.” She nodded against him and at last wrapped her arms fully around his body, sinking into him while he held her tightly back. They both stayed there for a while, arms tight, standing in the middle of the kitchen.

Joel would pull every string, get every ounce of leverage he could get to ensure she stayed. No one was going to take her away from them.

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x oc #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x feral reader #joel miller #tlou #the last of us #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfic #raicodoll writes #series: feral #feral reader #anon #asks #oc: Red #all the lore drop #I tried not to include her name but since it's connected to Monsters I figured it'd be fine #3rd pov is hard to keep faceless but its impossible for me to write in 2nd pov #Series: feral

[pedros-husband]

you feel bad about your scars

pedro pascal characters x male reader

characters included: javier pena, joel miller, javi gutierrez, marcus moreno, ezra, din djarin, frankie morales, agent whiskey, silva, oberyn martell, dave york, dieter bravo, tim rockford, and dio morrisey.

javier pena: he doesn't understand why you don't like your scars, he has tons, and your always talking about how much you like his, so why are yours any different? he's not good with words, so instead he'll show you just how much he loves your scars, whether its gingerly kissing over each one, or a more steamy approach in the sheets.

joel miller: he himself has been self-conscious about his scars, to him they're a reminder of mistakes he's made, fuck ups. but it's a completely different story with yours. he's all over you the moment you say something about them. he was never a touchy lovey-dovey guy, even before the breakout, but when he met you, you changed it all. so, he'll wrap you up in blankets on the couch and put a random movie on that ellie stole from bill's, it's not like you two are going to watch it anyway with the way he's thinking og showing you he loves them anyway....

javi gutierrez: he loves every part of you, and when i say love i mean LOVES, adores, worships, you a GOD to him (in a cute way not a weird way)s o when you shy away from his touch when he traces over your scars, he pouts like a puppy. cue the- " mi hermoso why don't you like your scars? i think they are adorable", and with your permission, he will kiss every single one, muttering little words in between like 'my handsome man' and 'gorgeous'. hes such a sweet golden retriever boy i can't

marcus moreno: he thinks scars are just a normal part of your body (even if its from sh/surgery) so he sees them as a part of YOU, and he loves all of you, therefore he loves them just as much. if you comment on how insecure they make you feel, he'll wrap you up in his arms and cuddle you, pressing kisses to your neck and whispering 'they are part of you my love, and you are so very beautiful...my handsome husband.'

ezra: he doesn't really know how to comfort you on it, but he still assures you that he finds you very handsome and attractive both with or without scars, they don't define you and in his eys, you are perfect in everyway.

din djarin: he is a very shy boy that isn't great with words or affection but he want to show you that he finds you beautiful and even loves your scars ESPECIALLY, so he flips the autopilot on and grabs your wrist (gently), pulling you to the bunk room, he switches off the light and drags you into the bunk, wrapping himself around you and tracing over your scars with his fingers for hours on end until you fall sleep with a smile. its an unspoken sort of love but you can almost hear his thoughts as he delicately traces over the dark lines on you skin.

frankie morales: he's had his fair share of scars from being in the military, so when he hears your concerns about yours, he understands. He's hated his because they remind him of all the people he's had to kill, at the lives lost from his hands, so he will pamper you completely and re-assure you that yours scars are beautiful, and a part of you that he loves very much.

agent whiskey (jack daniels): he also practically worships your body so hes nearly enraged at the fact that you DON'T see your body and scars the same way, he whisks you up into his arms (get it :0) and nearly throws you down onto the bed, crawling on top of you and showering your whole body in kisses, his hands gliding over the lines off each scar and whispering in your ear how handsome they are, and just how much he loves them, and you.

silva: hes shy so it's hard for him to express just how much he loves them, but he wants you to love them too so he'll at least attempt to comfort you, stumbling over his words a bit but getting the point across nonetheless, and the thought makes your heart melt a little anyway.

oberyn martell: physical affection is basically the only way this man can communicate his feelings towards you, so that is what he does, during a steamy make-out session or passionate sex, where he'll focus on telling you just how much they turn him on/he loves them, and make sure you do not leave that bed/room until you feel the same way about them that he does.

Dave york: he has also been in the military, so he has his scars too, but you made him love his, meaning he's confused how you don't love yours too. he'll take both your clothes off, (in a non sexual way) and carefully trace his fingertips over your scars, mumbling about how they tell a story, then he'll sit back in his chair and let you do the same,occasionally piping in about a particular scar that he used to hate, that you made him love.

dieter bravo: he doesn't have that many scars so he doesn't fully understand why they would make you insecure or be worried about them, to him your still his handsome boyfriend and scars don't change that.

tim rockford: there is no way you couldn't love them, because tim reminds you how much he loves the every chance he gets. he thinks your scars are awesome, whether they are from self harm or a surgery, he will look at them and touch them for hours, just marvelling at them with big eyes, and will ask you details about how you got them (if your comfortable with it), and mumble about how sexy they are, and how much he loves his handsome boyfriend

dio morrisey: he thinks they're badass and goth as hell. if you say otherwise, he'll simply cut you off and just tell you to stop being so stupid. he thinks they're cute, but he won't admit that. he's a tough love kinda guy, but you see through it and can kind of read what hes really thinking and feeling about them anyway.

————————————————————————————

So I don’t know if anyone noticed but I deleted my Frankie fic from my page because I got SO self conscious about it and I probably won’t venture near the smut region again for a while because I overthought it so much… anyway hope you like this little thing :)

#joel miller #male reader #pedro pascal x reader #joel tlou #frankie morales #oberyn martell #oberyn martel x reader #male x male #dio morrissey #agent whiskey #jack daniels #tim rockford #dave york #ezra prospect #javi gutierrez #marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader

[treeba-rk]

a small collection of shit the tumblr treebark community has tagged about cc!renchanting. Everyone feel free to contribute, many of these are pretty recent (from the infinite pining era), not from old posts!

#omg just call him hes not your ex   #i think about this so much. bro really was just like man that guy was weird. i think i’m in lo— #also this was very heterosexual of martyn. #relationship goals (they are not dating) #I hate them so much I fucking hate them #MARTYN WHEN I CATCH YOU MARTYN #can martyn like get a job #is this real?? #never a boring day following martyn on Tumblr #once again im reblogging the gayest ass mcyt fanart from none other than martyn in the little wood #martyn this is a really gay post to reblog /silly #its the single pathetic bisexual dogboy swag # everyone say thank youse to false #theyre having gay sex in that box. ok! #this is why joel betrayed dogwarts right at the start #fellas is it gay to do Whatever this is #treebark in the eyes of those around them is apparently horrifying #the server has chemicals in the water that turns the fucking ccs gay for Ren diggity Dog #Jesus christ #martyn intheliitlewood what are you doing in my falafal #I almost went full crazy insane treebark fangirl in the tags until I saw martyn inthelittlewood official reblogged it #SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA ENTER YOUR SLUT ERA AND THAT IS FINE TOO #fuckin slay martyn go kiss men Now we just pray he doesn't find the smut artists and find out people assume he's a bottom #he broke into our house and won’t leave :( turns out he’s the one who built the house? i think that’s why we let him stay #‘classic treebark bait’ MY ASS #martyn that shit is straight out of a fanfic #i think martyn can lurk in treebark tag if he wants #martyn once again outing himself as a renboy #shoutout to cherri for the renchanting propaganda god bless #WTF REN YOU CANT DO THIS TO US #they make me homophobic #mans woke up in a cold sweat checked his tumblr askbox wrote That and then fucked off for the rest of the day like nothing happened #the m in martyn stands for manic pixie dream girl #people be normal in the tags challenge: failed #why is martyn writing fanfiction and putting it on my dash at 3 am? #Top 10 Signs You Should Dm Him:#Number 1: you're writing fanfiction in tumblr ask box answers

this is an incredible collection and i am flabbergasted by how you keep track of this. treebarkblr is hilarious

<3 <3 <3

#ask box #answered #treebark #save #trafficshipping

[beardedjoel]

closer | part thirteen

joel x f!reader. non-apocalypse au  

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3  

chapter summary: it’s the fourth of july, and joel’s cookout is proving to lead to an interesting evening for the two of you. 12k words.

chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), soft!dom joel, rough sex, spanking, oral (m + f receiving), joel creams his jeans....., dirty talk, praise kink

a/n: i loooooove these fucking idiots!!!!!!!

The Fourth of July rolls around a few days later, and you wake up with a pit in your stomach that immediately follows you into the entirety of your morning. Your parents have been excited about it since Joel invited them to his cookout the other day. They have plans later on with some of your family here in Austin, but they decided to spend time at Joel’s for a while before going there. They’re just glad that they feel like they’re fitting in here in this new neighborhood, but meanwhile you want to throw up at the thought of interacting around him with this little secret of yours. You can’t deny that it also makes you feel a little bundle of desire tear through you when you think about sneaking around - stolen glances, grabbing at each other the second you get alone, the built up anticipation of the day spent around each other holding this in. It’s been working wonders on you just to think about, and despite Joel keeping you very satisfied lately, you find yourself craving more, sometimes needing to touch yourself when you two aren’t together just at the thought of him. Some things never change, you realize with a laugh, despite the fact that you’re getting what you wanted from him now. 

It doesn’t help that you haven’t been able to spend any time together the last few days, with Joel busy at work and getting things prepared for his party. Him and his crew even took a brief hiatus from everything at your parents house with the holiday, leaving the bathroom operational but needing its final touches. 

Joel has been texting you a bit for the last few days, but it’s weird to feel this distant from him, especially since the last night you spent together had been completely mind altering. The man had made you come six times, something you would have said was probably not possible before then. Having no direct contact with him since then, however, has set you a bit on edge, making you feel even more self conscious and anxious about seeing him later today in front of so many people. You just hope that there wasn’t anything that had happened that night that put him off of you.

You decide to try and ease some of your nerves and go for a swim, changing into a white bikini and grabbing a towel before heading out to the backyard. You made sure to grab a glass of iced coffee to sip on while you continue to wake up for the day. You dangle your feet for a while, trying to take steadying breaths as the still early sun beats down on you and sip on your coffee. You finally plunge yourself in, swimming a few laps around the pool to get some nervous energy out of you before pulling yourself onto an innertube and floating around aimlessly. You try to let the soft lapping of the water and gentle way you’re floating give you some peace of mind, but you’re worried about all of the people you might run into at Joel’s cookout. Are his friends going to be there? Family? Coworkers? All of these people in his life who know him well, but have no idea about you and the things you do together. The thought makes your stomach twist in equal anticipation and desire and the familiar ache of desire comes between your legs. You’re fighting it, feeling too lazy to get out of the pool just to rub one out, but it’s becoming hard to ignore. 

As if right on cue, Joel slides open his back door and comes outside, clearly ready to make preparations for the party today as he lugs out some extra folding chairs, and then tables with multiple trips. You smile to yourself that he hasn’t noticed you yet, and you can just watch him work, his muscles popping as he carries things out of the house and sets them up. You have the urge to run up to him, make him promise that he still wants you, but you quickly veto the idea from your worry-ridden brain. You’ll just play it cool, he’s allowed to be busy, after all. A pleasant hum escapes your lips at the sight of him continuing to work and you feel the ache between your legs you have been trying to ignore growing. 

Joel’s head does a double take in your direction, a shocked looking expression on his face at the way you’re casually floating through the pool, body on full display as you toy with the straw to your iced coffee with your tongue. Joel stands, staring at you for several moments before deciding to pull out his phone. You float over to the edge of the pool where you left yours, and sure enough, a message from him comes through a moment later. 

Joel: How long have you been watching me?

You: Long enough to get worked up

You see Joel practically groaning with a tight expression from across your two yards, a smug smile suddenly on your lips at his reaction. 

Joel: You know what happens when you tease me like this, sweet girl

You: Oh, I know. I’m counting on it happening

Joel looks up from his phone, his eyes lingering on you for a few long moments before he looks back down and begins typing furiously.

Joel: Extra punishment will be making you wait even longer for what you want from me. You’ve got to earn back being my good girl if you’re going to act like this

Now it’s your turn to groan, the wetness between your legs becoming more apparent with each message he sends and you squirm a little on the inner tube, your thighs rubbing and clamping together. The last time he made you earn that status, it ended up being the most fucking insane night you’ve ever spent with another man, and you’d be eager to repeat it again. Joel is watching your every move intently as he glances up from his phone. A moment later, your phone pings again. 

Joel: If you’re so worked up why don’t you go touch that little pussy and think of my cock inside of you while you come

You inhale a sharp breath as you read the message and your thighs squeeze even tighter. You almost don’t want to give him the satisfaction of rushing off to touch yourself, but the needy aching of your pussy is absolutely taking over right now. 

You: Why don’t you come and do it for me?

Joel: That’s for good girls, and as we both know, right now you aren’t one of them you little fucking tease

You see Joel warring with himself, but deciding not to come pleasure you seems to be his final decision. You sit and pout for a few moments before deciding if you’re going to be a bad girl for him today, you might as well keep it going. You plunge into the pool off of your floatie, dunking your head under. You surface and swim yourself to the edge of the pool, climbing out by the ladder. You tilt your head back slightly, exposing the length of your neck and dripping hair behind it, your bikini shifting on your body with the weight of the water. Your nipples are stiff from the chill of the pool and temperature change, and you know Joel can probably see them clear from over there. You wring your hair out and throw it causally back behind your shoulder, letting the glistening drops of water cascade all down your body. You shoot a biting glance to Joel, who is gripping the back of one of the folding chairs tightly, watching you. You smile sweetly, gathering your towel and phone before heading back into your apartment. 

Your phone buzzes as soon as you’re inside, of course, with another message from Joel. 

Joel: Can’t resist touching that perfect wet pussy because I told you to huh?

You: Would rather it be you… my door’s unlocked. 

You can feel the hesitation in his response, the bubbles popping up and disappearing several times before he answers. Your hand has already snaked into the wet fabric of your bikini bottoms, your fingers brushing against your clit as you let out a little moan. 

Joel: You’ve got to wait for what you really want and think about what a little tease you are. 

If he wants a tease, you’ll fucking show him a tease. You pull down your bottoms, standing half naked and stalking over to the window that overlooks Joel’s yard. You shoot him a quick message before bringing your hand back down in between your legs. 

You: You’re gonna wish you’d never called me a tease

Joel seems to take the hint, and you love that he knows you well enough to know that text meant to look up at the window. His jaw slackens a little at the sight of you in the distance, hand in between your legs, cupping yourself and then beginning to rub your finger on your clit again. You hear your phone going off as you get more into it, your fingers exploring lower as you sink one inside of yourself. You hope from this distance Joel can see the waves of pleasure crossing your face as you moan into the touch. Your phone pings again, and again, so you stop suddenly to look down at it.

Joel: Naughty girl… you’re going to regret that 

Joel: I know you only wish that was me right now, desperate little thing. You know it won’t be the same without my cock inside of you

The last message makes you laugh out loud, simply him typing “Fuck” and sending it to you. You open his contact info and dial his number, setting the phone back down and putting it on speaker. He answers silently, opting not to say anything right away as you step fully back into view of the window, watching him hold the phone up to his ear as he sits on a patio chair facing your window.

You pick up where you left off, rubbing circles on your clit as Joel watches on, and now you moan a little more loudly, making sure your phone picks it up. You swear you can hear Joel breathing heavily on the other end in between your own noises.

“Play with your tits, baby, let me see,” he spits out, seeming to break his vow of silence that was being used to punish you. You love that you’re unraveling him by the moment, and it turns you on even more, urging you along. You brush your hands along the curves of your breasts, playing with one of your nipples, through the thin material of your bikini top, causing your hips to buck forward a little bit as you groan.

“Yeah, baby, that’s it,” Joel murmurs. You see him discreetly cup himself on the front of his jeans, trying to soothe some of his own ache, and you smile deviously.

“Need something over there?” you breathe out as you slide your fingers down and start pushing one in and out of yourself.

“Tell me what you’re doing,” he commands, ignoring your sass, and you know it’s killing him he can’t see you as clearly as he would like.

“I’m fucking myself with my finger,” you state plainly as you moan quietly when your thumb brushes your clit again.

“Just the one? I know you can take more than that, my filthy little girl,” Joel says with the hint of a smirk in his voice.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” you say defiantly, feeling bold with this much distance between you.

“But I do, baby. You told me that first night, you want me to take control, and I can see how much you fuckin’ love it when I order you around, tell you where to put your hands and when. How to move your body for me, when to come. Want to be an obedient little thing for me, don’t ya? Even when you act up like a little brat.”

Now you break out in a small sweat, knowing he’s right, having told him all of that yourself. You unleash a louder moan as his words echo through your mind and your finger moves quicker on your clit, your other hand still playing with your nipples.

“I do,” you breathe out, giving in to him embarrassingly easily.

“Good. Now put two more fingers in and fucking take it,” he says quietly, a lethal, low tone to his voice, and you shudder at the sound. You do as he says, whimpering a little at the sudden stretch, but he’s right, it feels amazing. “Well?” he says impatiently.

“F-feels so nice,” you mumble, lost in the pleasure, finding it hard to stay standing in front of the window as your knees want to buckle underneath you.

“Good girl,” he says, and you light up a little at the words, wondering if you’ve earned them back. “Just for now,” he coos, “I have a few more things in mind to teach you a lesson.” 

Just the thought of what those ideas could be is enough to send you over the edge, and you start coming onto your hand, plunging the three fingers deep into yourself and hitting your g-spot. You moan loudly, and through hooded eyes and can see Joel’s tense form sitting down below, watching you squirm and writhe as you ride the waves of pleasure from your climax.

“Mmm,” you hear him breathe out through the phone, not taking his eyes off of you.

“You missed out,” you say with a little laugh, your breathing still coming down from the pure bliss of the previous moment.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” Joel confirms.

“Yeah,” you reply.

“Good. Can’t wait to get my mouth on ya,” he says. You shudder a little, the aftershocks of your climax still present and you feel a dull ache rising back up at his words.

“Don’t you have something you need to take care of?” you say suddenly, seeing his hand still resting on his likely throbbing crotch.

Joel grunts disapprovingly, but doesn’t deny it. “Smart ass,” he teases, and you laugh.

“See you later, Joel,” you say, before hanging up, hoping to leave him wanting. It doesn’t take him long to get out of the chair and head inside, where you know he’s going to jerk himself off to the thought of what he just watched you do. It spreads a warm little feeling throughout your chest as you smile to yourself, moving from the window to get ready for the day.

Your confidence from this morning has all but faded as you check yourself in the mirror one more time before having to leave for Joel’s cookout. You suddenly hate every piece of clothing you own, feeling less confident than ever around him. Maybe it’s because you know that he can’t pay attention to you in the way you’re used to, and you’re worried about how others there are going to view you. You swear you never used to be this socially anxious, right? Or maybe nobody had brought it out of you like this before.

You decided on a plain white mini dress, thinking it’s simple and classic, and it shows off enough of your legs and curves that you think Joel will enjoy getting an eyeful of you and have to deal with resisting you for hours. You spent a little more time on your hair to get it into pretty, loose waves that you’ve clipped half back. Your makeup was an effort, but you managed to get something you’re proud of, a fresh, clean look with a little dark eyeliner and mascara, a slight bit of shimmer on your eyelids, and a touch of blush and pink lip gloss. You do feel pretty, you think as you tilt your head at yourself in the mirror, it’s just important to you that Joel thinks so too.

You breathe out a final breath before meeting your parents in their house to head over together. Your mom fawns over your outfit and hair for a few moments while you feel flushed with heat uncomfortably thinking if she only knew the half of it she wouldn’t be so excited about it. Your mom and you keep a close eye on your dad as he makes his way over to Joel’s on his crutches, but luckily it’s a short distance and he’s been getting quite good at using them lately. You swallow hard as you see the party is in full swing, and Joel looks like he’s having a great time, chatting amicably with a group of people somewhere within his age group. When he sees you and your parents approaching, he smiles, breaking away from the conversation to greet you three. He goes to greet your parents first, thanking them for coming, but you can see his eyes linger on you several times throughout their conversation, taking in your dress as flickers of heat flash in his eyes a few times. You know it was quick enough that only you’d notice, but it doesn’t mean you don’t little feel a little rush at the sight. He finally greets you casually with a wave and words of gratitude for coming by, and it’s a struggle to keep your tone neutral as you reply to him.

He invites you inside to grab something to drink, and you agree, telling your parents you’ll grab them something as well. You breathe out a small sigh of relief when you see his kitchen is mostly empty, aside from a few folks grabbing plates of food from the counter and bringing them outside.

“Nice dress,” he says, maybe the most quiet you’ve ever heard him. You inhale sharply, just the change in his tone from the way it was outside enough to set you off. You let a smile peek out the side of your mouth.

“Wore this with you in mind,” you say, trying to be just as quiet as you two open the fridge and look inside. 

“There’s more options outside in the coolers, if ya want,” he tells you, and you turn towards him, locking eyes fully for the first time since you arrived. And… you’re melting. You force yourself to get it together quickly, snagging three beers from the fridge and holding them against your body. It honestly feels good to have the cool sweat of the cans pressing against you, grounding you to the present instead of wherever your mind was trying to take you with Joel.

“This is good,” you say, smiling up at him. The look he gives you is absolutely devastating, a sly little smile like he knows you, he wants you, he’d rather stay alone in this room with you all night. You try to return the look as best you can before you two have to head back outside. His hand brushes along your lower back down to your ass as he walks behind you, his fingers trailing there for just a moment before he splits away from you when the door to the patio opens. You force yourself to breathe out a long, calming exhale and locate your parents.

You hand the drinks to them and have a seat at their table. They’ve already gotten into a conversation with another neighbor, and you’re glad they’re getting to know other folks in the neighborhood. You’re not actively participating in the conversation, or even fully listening, but you’re trying your best not to be rude and speak up here and there when it calls for it. You’re too busy keeping tabs on Joel, feeling like a complete psycho as you do it, but your mind isn’t able to focus on much else.

He’s over at the grill, cooking up steaks, burgers and brats for everyone. Everything, all the meats, sides, and snacks smell and look amazing, but once again, you find yourself distracted as you watch Joel’s broad shoulders and muscled back working over at the grill. You can help but notice a beautiful woman at his side, holding onto a plastic cup and laughing as she chats animatedly with Joel. Something twists deep in your gut, and you immediately hate yourself for it. It’s a primal, sickening feeling borne completely out of jealousy, you know, and you take a large swig of your beer to try and drown it out into the background of your thoughts. 

Of course Joel is going to have beautiful women talking to him. You can’t expect that you’re the only one he’d want to fuck around with when he looks like that and could easily pull another woman anytime he wanted. He’s sweet, charming, and attractive, so it makes sense that he would be getting this kind of attention. It doesn’t mean you have to like it, though, you think, drinking your beer more quickly now. You want to slow down, but you suddenly think that maybe alcohol will help calm the intense surge of jealousy and anxiety that’s tearing through you right now. You know he said just last week that he had only been thinking about messing around with you lately, but it doesn’t mean he hasn’t and won’t change his mind, and you hate the thought of that. 

You know that your eyes are glued to him, and to the observant person you must look slightly obsessive with the way you’re stare at him. Joel and the mystery woman are still chatting, and he seems happy, which you want for him, but it still causes a sinking feeling to pass through you. Suddenly, Joel’s head turns in your direction when the woman is distracted by another party goer joining their conversation. His eyes catch yours but you quickly look away, gripping onto the cold can of beer in your hand. But you know he saw you staring daggers into his back. You flick your eyes back up to his face, where he’s giving you a wry expression, as if he’s been reading your thoughts for the last few minutes. You try to give him a smile but it comes out weak, not reaching your eyes. He dares a quick wink at you and suddenly your chest is rising with warmth again, this little bit of attention enough to begin busting you out of the dark jealousy that was overwhelming you.

You take a deep breath, your eyes catching on a familiar face across the patio. You excuse yourself from your parents and walk over, smiling shyly. 

“Hey, Tommy,” you say.

“Hey there,” he replies, returning your smile. “How you been?” You forgot just how warm and kind his presence is, a lifeline to you at this party full of strangers. 

“Oh, not too bad,” you say, but you know the reason you came over isn’t to exchange pleasantries. “Listen, um, I just wanted to apologize for the last time we met, that was super… well, awkward,” you admit, casting your eyes on and off the ground as you try to get out what you need to say. 

“Aw, hey, no worries. I know you weren’t trying to make things uncomfortable. My brother can make an ass of himself sometimes,” Tommy says with a smile.

“I think I egged him on, so don’t go too hard on him,” you admit, twisting your lips to the side. Tommy eyes you with a slight look of questioning but doesn’t say anything for a moment. 

“Probably shouldn’t say this, but I’ve never seen my brother so in his head about someone before,” Tommy says suddenly with a thoughtful expression, and you feel your stomach bottom out as a nervous churning overtakes you. 

“What?” you manage to stutter out, unable to think of anything else to say. Your mind is reeling with too many sudden thoughts, and it’s hard to keep yourself present. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anythin’,” he concludes. 

“No, it’s okay. I just didn’t know what you meant. I think you’ve got to be misreading things.”

Now it’s Tommy’s turn to look taken aback. “Misreading things? Sweetheart, no offense, but I nearly caught you and my brother about to jump each other's bones.”

You laugh lightheartedly at his response, and he smiles. “I just mean about him being in his head. I think I’m just… stress relief, or something,” you say with a slight cringe. You don’t know how you’ve ended up admitting even more to Joel’s brother about the nature of your relationship, yet here you are. 

“I see, so you two haven’t stopped things, then,” Tommy replies a little more seriously. 

“Maybe it’s my turn to not have said anything,” you grimace, feeling like you’ve overstepped. 

“S‘alright. I had a feeling, anyway.” He shrugs, taking a sip from the cup in his hands. 

“We aren’t really telling anyone about it, if you could… y’know. Sorry to put you in a weird spot.” You look at Tommy with a hopeful and apologetic expression, feeling completely uncomfortable with your request to him.

“I got you. It’s alright. I just want you to be careful, is all. I’ll handle things with my brother, you shouldn’t have to be in the middle of all this.” Tommy replies. You wonder what he means about being careful, but you don’t know if you can handle inserting Tommy into this situation any longer. 

You nod slightly. “Thanks,” you say, and then decide to change the subject. “Are you enjoying the party? This is really nice.”

Tommy looks appreciative for the more normal conversation and nods. “Yeah, every year it’s always a good time. I like seein’ everyone gathered together like this.”

“It’s nice, although I know literally nobody here,” you chuckle. 

Tommy looks out at the crowd of people enjoying themselves with you. “Want any introductions?”

“Oh, god, no. I think I might be too shy for that.”

Tommy lifts an eyebrow at you. “Lemme know if you change your mind.”

“Actually,” you spit out quickly, “Not an introduction, but, uh, who’s that? With the blonde hair over there?” you ask, nodding your head in the direction of the woman who’d been talking with Joel. 

Tommy’s expression becomes even more suspicious, and he looks you in the eyes, a gleaming hint of amusement behind them. 

“Old friend, why?” he asks, crossing his arms.

“Just wondering. She’s very… uh…” you trail off, feeling like shrinking up into yourself and never coming out again. Tommy laughs good naturedly at your pained expression. 

“Do yourself a favor and just enjoy the party. No use worrying about what my brother’s up to, eh?” Tommy says, his tone lightening with encouragement towards you.

“That’s probably good advice,” you respond, pondering for a few beats. “Thanks, for being so kind to me when you don’t have to be.”

“You’ve done nothin’ to warrant anything other than that, alright? I ain’t mad at ya,” Tommy tells you with a quick squeeze on your shoulder. You smile, and then Tommy gets called out by another guest at the party, so he kindly excuses himself to speak to them.

You stand alone now, crinkling the sides of your now empty beer can. You glance over at your parents, having what looks like the time of their lives with all their neighbors, engaged in a fun conversation that you don’t have the energy to be a part of right now. You see Joel, finishing up everything on the grill, encouraging the people around him to make plates. You feel completely lost suddenly, like you don’t know where to go, who to sit next to, if you would choke on your words if you tried to talk to one of the many strangers surrounding you. 

Fuck, you think, as you slip the few steps behind you to the sliding door, opening it and stepping inside. You go to the fridge, pulling out another beer and cracking it open, taking long, drawn out swigs until it’s half empty. You catch eyes with someone coming back from using the restroom and give them a shy smile, which they return. You breathe out a shaky exhale and stand with your back leaning against the counter, grateful for a few quiet moments to yourself. 

This is ridiculous, you think to yourself. You have always been alright in groups, able to at least introduce yourself despite having been rather shy your whole life. Seeing Joel with that beautiful woman really got in your head more than you would have expected, and you suddenly felt like you couldn’t approach him at all, like the last few weeks together have been completely erased. You finish your second beer, immediately going for a third and deciding you have enough liquid courage to head outside. You see Joel’s eyes catch your entrance, a quick flash of disappointment he didn’t get a chance to see you when you were alone inside. 

You continue into the party, grabbing an empty paper plate and filling it with food. You feel that last beer you quickly drank settling and a slight tipsy haze coming over you, making you feel a bit more brave than you were before. You sit at a table with your now full plate, complete strangers at every seat, but they look kindly at you as you sit. 

“Is this alright?” you ask them. Most of them nod enthusiastically, saying muddled greetings to you that are overlapping as they all talk at once. One of them, a woman with dark brown hair and kind green eyes smiles at you. 

“Haven’t seen you at one of these before,” she comments, taking a bite from her own plate of food. 

“My parents live next door. They just moved in this summer,” you announce. “How do you know Joel?” you casually ask, looking around the table to invite anyone there into the conversation. 

Several of them reply that they work with, or rather for, Joel, but it seems like a casual relationship, that they’re all very friendly outside of work. The woman who greeted you also works for Joel, and you can see it now, her rough hands and strong body are definitely someone who does physical labor for a living. 

“Is he a mean boss?” you ask with a hint of teasing in your voice, and they laugh. You spot Joel out of the corner of your eye when the laughter sounding from the table catches his attention, and it makes you want to smile smugly that you’re now a distraction for him too. 

“No way, not at all,” one of the guys answers with a shake of his head. “Tough, but fair,” he concludes. You could see that in him, that he doesn't take bullshit, and as long as you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing on the job, he’d be happy. You feel a strong hand grip your shoulder, the way the fingers curl around it is familiar and you fight the urge to shudder down your entire spine. You know before turning your head who you’re about to see, but the stunning form of Joel above you as you sit still threatens to pull the air from your lungs. He’s slightly red cheeked from laughter and the heat of the grill, his hair causally messy, and his navy blue shirt clinging to him. 

“Don’t tell me they’re all talkin’ about me,” Joel says to you, removing his hand before it’s there too long for anyone to grow suspicious. You all smile and chuckle, several of his employees denying it but smirking light heartedly. “Whatever it is, I probably deserve it.” 

“Oh, I’m sure he does,” a new voice says, and you peer away from Joel, turning your head to see the woman who’d been chatting with Joel earlier standing across from you. Her elegant, perfectly manicured fingers are holding her cup as she takes a drink, and she’s even more beautiful up close. Her hair is short, blonde and pin straight, shiny as the sun catches it. Her red t-shirt and jean shorts show off her curves and tall legs. You immediately shy away from the conversation, just taking her in for a moment while everyone starts jokingly poking fun at Joel. You try to laugh along, staying with the conversation. It’s not like the woman is looking at Joel in any particular way that bothers you, in fact, she just seems perfectly friendly towards him. The hints of flirtation are in the way she sometimes watches him for a few extra seconds, always seeming to be laughing around him. And if they were together in some form, is that really something you can be upset about? Joel has never expressed having feelings deeper for you than physical ones, so you have no right, no claim to him as yours, really.

“I’m Lexi,” she says, looking at you. Her voice is sweet but smoky, and you suddenly wish your own voice didn’t have to follow it up. “I don’t think I’ve met you before, right?”

You shake your head and introduce yourself, trying to project your voice despite feeling like shrinking up. You explain to her about your parents moving in next door, and she replies enthusiastically. You genuinely don’t know how you’re getting words out, how you’re carrying a conversation with her. You’re getting that overwhelmed feeling again, like you don’t know what to do with all of the emotion you carry for Joel. It’s painful to think about, picturing him and that woman together, him doing the toe-curling, life changing things that he does to you to her instead. You’re already halfway through this next beer too, and it’s not helping with your unsettled stomach now as jealousy and confusion curdle it. 

“Did everyone get enough to eat?” Joel asks, acting as ever the good host, and his voice cuts into your introspection. Most people murmur affirmative responses, claims of how good everything is, and expressions of gratitude.

“I was actually going to get some of that fruit salad, I totally forgot,” you announce, trying hard not to slur your words as you find the perfect out of the situation. Joel steps back slightly from where he was standing behind your chair and lets you out. You refuse to make eye contact with him, afraid he could read you in a second, but you quickly grin at everyone at the table before stepping off, trying to rush away as casually as possible. 

You make it back inside, the cool air a balm to your skin and current emotional state. A few people mill around and you breeze past them, finding your way down the hall. Instead of holing up in the bathroom and blocking people from using it, you explore further down, cracking open a closed door at the end of the small hallway. Sure, it’s not completely moral to snoop, but you just need somewhere you can be alone right now. You peer inside, slipping in and shutting the door quietly behind you before breathing out, long and slow - this is much better. 

It looks like you’re in Joel’s office, a rather small room but it seems to get the job done. There’s a dark wooden desk with his computer on it, piles of paper, folders and typical office supplies adorn the top of it. He has a filing cabinet underneath the desk to one side, and a small seating area on the other wall with two comfortable looking leather chairs. You head over to one of those, sinking yourself down into it and pulling out your phone to distract yourself. You managed to remember your beer, you notice as your other hand still grips the can, so you finish it, willing your brain to just give in to the tipsiness and forget all the stupid, shitty thoughts you’re having right now. 

The door opens a few minutes later and you jump at the sound of the doorknob turning. Your mouth is already open, ready to spill out some excuse to whoever is walking in, but instead, you say nothing as Joel comes into the room, closing the door behind him. He approaches you slowly, purposefully, with a tense look in his eye. 

“Now what’s my girl doing hidin’ out in here, hm?” he asks. 

“I… needed a minute,” you say, unable to think clearly at the sight of him after being three beers deep in a relatively short time span. 

“Hmm,” Joel says, approaching the chair and standing there directly in front of your legs, looking down on you. You suddenly salivate, feeling your insides burning with the desire to taste him, to pleasure him, to make sure he knows how good you’ll be for him so he doesn’t forget you in lieu of some other beautiful woman. “You still need a minute, or should I stay?” he asks, and you know he knows there’s only one answer to that question. 

Instead of saying anything, you reach forward to his waist, undoing his belt while you peer your eyes up at him, blinking slowly and pouting your lips. He stands silently, letting you work on his belt and you reach for the button and zipper of his jeans. His eyebrow cocks a little when the zipper goes down and you inhale sharply at the throbbing bulge against the fabric of his briefs. 

“Baby, if you’re upset or jealous, you can tell me. I saw you watchin’ me all day,” he suddenly says, and you stop, your hand resting on the waistband of his briefs. You feel vulnerable and transparent all of a sudden, realizing that he’s noticed it that much. 

“I’m… not,” you say, completely unconvincingly. 

“My only question, baby, is why?” Joel says sternly, gripping your chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to keep looking up at him. “Why be jealous when your sweet little cunt is all I want wrapped around my cock, and I keep comin’ back for more no matter how hard I try not to. What’s there to be jealous about when all of that’s so obvious?” He shakes his head slowly, looking at you with a mixture of softness and frustration on his face.

You stun at his words. “I - I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’m… there are a lot of pretty women. I just want to show you -“ you stop, gulping heavily and trying to avoid his eyes. “Show you…” you trail off, reaching into his briefs and pulling his hard cock out. The length of it slips free, reminding you just how deliciously big he is. You lick your lips at the sight, hoping he understands what you’re trying to say when your words are failing you. 

Joel’s head tilts and he slides the hand on your chin around to the back of your head, gripping tightly. “If you won’t listen to me, then I’ll just have to fuck those jealous words right out of your pretty little mouth, won’t I?”

Your lips part slightly in shock but you nod, dipping your eyes to his cock and biting your lip. 

“On your knees, sweetheart,” Joel says, and you quickly slide off the chair, landing softly on your knees with your head perfectly positioned in front of his hips. He pulls out your hair clip, letting the half of your hair free that was pinned up. He splays his hand onto the back of your head now, holding it still while his hips thrust forward, the head of his cock brushing your lips. You open them and he slides in, just moving the head slightly in and out. “Yeah, that’s it, baby,” he groans quietly as the wetness of your mouth envelops him. 

His hips move more aggressively now, holding true on his promise to practically fuck the words out of your mouth as he suddenly pushes in to the back of your throat, threatening to gag you. It feels good, almost like he is able to fuck those thoughts out of your head if you can just take his cock as deep as he wants you to. You’re desperate to be his number one, the only one he wants to spend time with like this, and you suck hard on him as he pulls out, eliciting a loud groan until he pushes back in as far as he can again. 

“Fuckin’ Christ, angel, look at you…” Joel breathes out, watching his hips push his length into your mouth over and over as his hand holds your head steady. “Takin’ my cock so good when you’re jealous, huh?”

You let out a tiny moan of affirmation, the vibration of your mouth on him making him shudder slightly. He’s now pushing your head in towards him with his thrusts, his own head tilting back as his eyes flutter slightly as he goes deep. You gag, spit drooling out all around his cock, and it urges Joel on further as he doesn’t let up. 

“That’s right, you’ll never say another jealous word again, will you? Gonna believe what I say? Gonna be a good girl and let me praise you and worship that perfect pussy without any questions?” he drawls out, his voice full of heady desire and grit. Your pussy pulses and throbs at his words and the feel of his thick cock in your mouth.

You can only make a noise you hope Joel will take as a yes from you. You feel like you should hate what he’s saying - the possessive, condescending tone behind it all, but you fucking love it, and you know Joel does too. Maybe you two are made for each other in this way - someone only seeking to be praised and dominated, and the other more than willing to give that to them. It’s no secret just how much he loves turning you into a sloppy, begging mess for him, and you’ve learned that you’re happy to let him whenever he wants it. 

“Fuck, baby,” he blurts out, “Look at you, fuckin’ love suckin’ cock, don’t you? Bet you thought about it all day, I know I missed your lips wrapped around me. All I could think about watching you in that little dress,” he hums, steadily continuing his thrusts into you. They’re turning more ragged, his body trembling slightly from the pleasure. He whimpers as you flex your tongue to flick down the length of him as he is pulling back before plunging it in and rapidly repeating the movements. 

He moans, a breathy noise coming out of him and he pulls out quickly, fisting his cock with his free hand and aiming it for your chest. You lurch forward, frowning as your mouth misses the fullness of him immediately. 

“Only comin’ in you once you’ve earned it back. You’ve been a bad girl today, remember?” He smirks as he pumps on his cock several more times before groaning, the ropes of cum releasing onto your neck and chest. It drips immediately between your breasts, sliding down into your dress. He watches it intently, the sight of his cum slowly working its way down your tits while you gaze up at him with desperate eyes threatening to turn him on all over again. “If you want a taste, it’s right there,” he says with a smug grin that you want to kiss off of his face.

“So unfair,” you whine, slumping down further onto the floor, giving your knees a rest. 

“Deal’s a deal, baby,” Joel says, tucking himself back into his jeans and refastening everything. “Maybe you won’t be such a little tease next time.” He winks at you before lifting an eyebrow. 

You gape your mouth open, unable to find a good enough retort for him. Joel hands you a tissue off the box on his desk and you wipe yourself up, and you’re feeling thankful that you wore white today. Joel reaches out a hand and pulls you up, tucking you in under his arms for several moments. He breathes in deeply, taking in your scent before sighing. 

“Can’t stay in here forever,” he says to you, pulling back a little bit. The look of disappointment on his face matches exactly how you’re feeling right now. 

“I know,” you reply, frowning. “You go first, and I’ll come out in a few minutes.” He nods and lets go of your waist, his presence immediately missed by your body.

“Oh,” Joel says, stopping halfway to the door, “After everyone goes home, you wanna come out with me to watch some fireworks?” Joel asks, and the stark contrast to the man he was a few minutes ago is jarring. A smile tugs at your lips and you let it show completely, not caring about playing it cool right now. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Your parents went to spend the second half of the day with your mom’s brother and his family, having gotten an invite to watch fireworks as a group. You made up the lousiest excuse that you just weren’t feeling up for it after Joel’s party, but it worked well enough.

You meet Joel outside close to dark and climb into his truck. He risks a small kiss on your lips once you two are settled in the car, and you glance around afterwards to see if anyone could’ve seen it. You’re not sure what you’d even do if someone did see, but you’ve been feeling the compulsion to check anyway since you two agreed to sneak around.

Joel drives off, glancing over at you every so often with a soft look in his eyes. 

“You took the dress off,” he comments into the silence. 

“There was, well, cum on it, so…” you say plainly, and Joel lets out a loose chuckle that takes several moments to subside. 

“Fair enough, baby. S’okay, I almost like this better anyways,” he says, sneaking another look at you before focusing back on the road. You changed into tight spandex shorts and a little crop top, throwing on an oversized, comfortable zip up jacket over it in case it got cool once the sun went down. 

“You say that about everything I wear,” you counteract. 

“Cause I like everything you wear,” Joel shrugs. “You look good in anythin’ darlin’.”

You bite the inside of your lip as a half smile pulls at the corner of your mouth at his sweet words.

“Did you have fun today?” Joel asks. 

“I… did. I think you threw a great party, really. It was just a lot for me with all the new people and not being able just - to kiss you when I wanted,” you admit. 

“I hear ya, that was tough. Maybe no parties for a while,” he says, and you chuckle a little. 

“Didn’t know you were so popular, though,” you tease, waggling your eyebrows when Joel shoots you a skeptical glance. 

“Not true,” he retorts. 

“Is so. Everyone there loves you, Joel, accept it,” you say defiantly. Your arms cross over your chest, willing him to understand just how great he is and how admired he seemed by everyone you talked to that day. You’d gone back and socialized a bit more after Joel’s visit with you in his office, and you’d learned a little bit more about what Joel is like as a friend, a coworker, a boss. Most of their stories conclude for you that sure, Joel can be very grumpy in the wrong situation, but at the core of all of it, he cares deeply. 

“Here we are,” he says, pulling the car up to the side of the road and veering off onto a less defined patch of road. Joel drives for just a little longer until he pulls up to a grassy hillside, parking the car. You two are the only ones here, and the stars are starting to twinkle overhead as you gaze out the top of the windshield. 

“Wh- what is this?” you ask. 

“Used to come ‘round here all the time when we were younger. It’s the perfect spot for fireworks, trust me,” he tells you. You’re glad it’s just the two of you here after the long day you spent wanting to be in his arms. Joel seems to share the same sentiment, unbuckling his seatbelt and leaning over the console to you and wrapping his hand around the side of your face, crashing his lips into yours. 

He opens the bed of his truck for you two to sit in and wait for fireworks to start. He props a few pillows along the back of the truck and lays a blanket out to sit on before you climb in behind him and settle in. 

“So you’d come here as a kid? You really have lived around here your whole life, huh?” you ask him. 

“Yeah, Tommy and I’d go crazy on the sparklers right over there,” he says, his eyes staring off distantly as he recalls memories. “One of the only times my parents didn’t fight, weirdly,” he adds, and your eyes widen before you control your expression, your interest piqued at his talk of the past. 

“Your parents didn’t get along?”

“Nope, not a lick of good blood between them by the end of it all,” Joel replies with a shake of his head. “She’s remarried now, though, for a long time and it's goin’ real well for her now.”

“Your dad… instigated the fights?” you ask hesitantly.

Joel nods. “Mhm. Mean guy, real tough, didn’t know what to do with himself so he’d take it out on all of us. Yellin’, fightin’… Only hit my mom once, and that when she had enough. Thankfully…”

“Wow… that must have been terrible. I’m so sorry, Joel,” you say quietly, snuggling up next to him to show your support. He lifts an arm and puts it around you, and you tuck yourself into your favorite spot under his shoulder, rubbing circles on his chest with the palm of your hand. 

“Thanks, sweetheart. Wasn’t always easy, but Tommy and I, we tried to take care of things for our mom. He and I get our fightin’ with each other from our dad, and we fuckin’ hate it,” he chuckles, and you feel one side of your lips turn up in a smile. 

“Seems like you guys have a good relationship, though, most of the time, right?”

“Yeah, we do. Couldn’t run a business with just anyone,” he replies. You nod in agreement, and dare to ask the question on your mind. 

“Your dad? What… er, do you still see him?”

“Used to for a while. He died about 4 years ago, though. Drank too much, didn’t take care of himself, the works,” Joel replies solemnly, still staring off into the darkness. 

“Jeez, that’s just… awful. I’m sorry, again, Joel. I know I keep saying it, but there’s not much else to encompass something like that, y’know?” you say, blinking hard and shaking your head. 

“Oh I know, darlin’, thanks for just listenin’ to me. You’re a good listener,” he replies, now pulling his eyes off their unfocused stare to look down at you and smile. 

“You’re welcome. I love hearing more about you, so it’s easy.”

“Alright, your turn,” Joel says playfully, nudging you. 

“My turn what?” you ask, laughing a little. 

“What’s the deal with your life story?” Joel says openly, looking at you with expectation.

“My life story? Jesus Joel, can’t we get a focused topic?” you reply with sass. 

“Alright, fair point. Your parents seem like good people, doesn’t seem to be much of a story there, but correct me if I’m wrong?”

“No, not really, actually,” you ponder with a chuckle. “They’re very cute and in love most of the time so it kind of gave me this expectation that I’d meet someone and have that same thing super young like they did. But it just hasn’t happened like that.”

“Hasn’t happened, but you wanted it to? Marry someone young?” Joel questions you with a quirked brow.

“Nah, I’m glad I wasn't married in my early twenties like them, after all. I just assumed as a kid that’s how it would be because of them, but honestly I’m glad to have just been able to go to school and everything, get my life sorted out a bit.”

“Makes sense. And personally I’m very glad you weren’t already snatched up and married to some guy,” Joel says lightheartedly, poking you in the side and prompting you to laugh. 

“Promise I won’t get jealous, but tell me about the other guys you’ve seen,” Joel says a moment later, and you shoot him a skeptical look. “Alright, I’ll try not to get jealous,” he adds on, a more realistic proposition.

“I don’t think there’s really much to tell…” You think for a moment, piecing together your memories into a cohesive story. “I saw someone for a few months in college, he cheated on me, so I swore off dating for a while before meeting Will, and he was nice but it didn’t last. A few random hookups followed that, and that’s really it. Nothing… excited me enough to stick it out,” you conclude, then look up at Joel, seeing his eyes intently looking into yours. “Until you,” you add timidly, but not shying your gaze away. 

“Until me, huh?” Joel says cockily, tilting his head. “These other guys… what was wrong with ‘em that wasn’t exciting?”

“I don’t know, it was a decent connection, but I never knew the depths of what I really wanted until you showed me. That sounds fucking corny, but whatever. You taught me a lot of stuff,” you admit, your cheeks burning a little bit. 

“I like teachin’ you what you like, baby,” Joel says, leaning dangerously close to you now, his lips looking so inviting. “My good girl, learned so fast, didn’t you?” he teases. You arch your hips up a little, responding to his words and nod. 

“Nobody else called me that before,” you breathe out as your lips brush each other’s. “Or fucked me like you do. Didn’t make me come until I want to cry, or make me a begging slut for them. Only you, Joel, only you could do that to me,” you rasp, your hips completely turned towards him now, pressing yourself into his thigh. His smirk is downright devious as he soaks in the words you’re saying and feels you grinding against him slightly. 

“Think you’ve earned something from me for sayin’ all that, sweet girl,” he says, his tone dropping slightly with suggestion. You raise your eyebrows at him with a grin.

“You think so?” you ask brightly, eyes already glazing over with desire.

“Boostin’ my ego like that, least I could do,” he says, teasing you before shifting himself to straddle your hips. Your body immediately responds to the closeness of him, your hips adjusting and grinding up into his weight. Joel’s lips find yours and it only takes moments before he turns more feral, your tongues sliding against each other, lips clashing and sucking on one another’s in a hungry heat. Joel takes your neck against his lips and kisses it, his tongue flicking along the skin and sending you moaning. He threatens to suck the skin and leave another mark, but he stops suddenly.

“I’ll show a little mercy tonight,” he says, glancing at you with a wink. 

“No, only in that one spot, that’s it,” you breathe out desperately, chest already heaving from the passion of the moment.

“Don’t want any mercy, huh?” He starts grinning in the greedy way he does when he likes what he’s hearing from you. You shake your head, ready for whatever he’s going to throw your way in the bed of his truck. This will definitely be a first for you. “Naughty girl…” he murmurs before continuing to give the skin on your neck attention, ghosting his lips down to your collarbone and upper chest, but finding your clothing in the way, he slides your zip up off your shoulders and you help him shrug you out of it before he tugs at the bottom of your shirt and pulls that over your head as well. You settle down further onto the makeshift bed Joel made for you two, laying more flat on your back now against the pillow.

Joel takes in your half naked body for a few extra moments with a glint in his eye before diving back in, biting your skin and leaving you practically breathless as the small sucks and bites pepper over your skin, getting closer to your breasts. When he finally reaches your nipple, you’re already feeling so much anticipation that the moan you let slip out is louder than you’d have expected. Joel’s groan against your skin in response only urges you on, loving the way he loves hearing what he does to you.

He then bites onto your nipple hard, a completely new sensation for you, and you yelp a little bit but it trails off into another moan as the pain quickly turns into pleasure.

“Said you wanted no mercy, so what’ll it be, hm?” Joel counters, seeing how you’d tensed and yelled out at his biting.

“No, no, it’s good - more, Joel,” you hastily breathe, toes curled and body tense.

He pauses with his mouth above your breast, looking at you expectantly.

“Please,” you add on as a whisper, recalling what seems like one of his favorite rules. The smirk returns to his face and he slides a hand along your thigh, edging close to the apex as he bites again on your nipple. You cry out, your hips desperately pushing towards his hand, willing it to go where you need it to be. The heat swelling up in your core and between your legs is starting to reach the needy category when he continues working on both of your nipples, flicking and biting them for what feels like ages, getting you to a fever pitch of need before his fingers finally clutch onto the edges of your shorts, tugging them down. He has to lift his head off of you, and you breathe a small sigh of contented relief, your body needing the cooldown for a moment as he works your shorts off of you.

“You always wear all this stuff just for me, sweet girl?” Joel asks, bemused, as he gazes at your underwear - a pretty dark purple sheer thong.

“Of course,” you reply, breath hitching as his fingers play under the side straps of it, tempting you. “I know you like it, seeing me dress up for you,” you say with a small smile.

“That I do baby, knowin’ our little secret - you always wearin’ your little outfits just for me,” he says with a quiet tut, sliding the thong down your legs now and revealing your sex to him. It’s dark, but Joel can still see well enough to notice just how wet and swollen you already are for him, as usual. He groans as he slides two fingers inside of you, testing just how ready you are for him and feeling the warm, tightness of your cunt around his digits. 

“Fuckin’ never could get old, darlin’, this pretty little pussy of yours,” he pushes out, his voice wavering slightly with need. You simply moan quietly in response and he slides his fingers in and out a few times before holding them up and seeing your slickness coating his fingers. A fully cunning little smile pulls at his lips before touching his fingers to your lips, pressing you to taste yourself on his digits.

“Don’t make me ask,” he warns you, and you’re half tempted to ignore him to get one of his special punishments that you love, but you decide to drive him crazy by pulling the fingers deep into your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around it. Your eyes are locked on each other’s, and his grin only deepens into something primal as he feels your warm mouth surround his fingers, lapping up every bit of your own wetness from them. He pulls them out with a slight pop and looks at you intently.

“Your turn,” he says suddenly, a look of expectation crossing his face.

“W-what do you mean?” you ask timidly, your body trembling slightly with the anticipation of Joel’s next touch.

“I wanna taste you,” he states plainly, and you wrinkle your brow, slightly confused.

“You could do that, easily. Put your mouth down there,” you suggest with raised eyebrows, and he gives a suggestive chuckle in response, then shakes his head slowly.

“No, sweetheart. Not until you do as I ask, and I know you want my mouth on that gorgeous little pussy, so I suggest you do it. Feed me with your fingers.”

Your mouth gapes slightly open for a moment before you bite your lip. You slowly trail your hand down your stomach, Joel’s eyes watching every torturous inch it moves, and you hesitantly dip your hand between your legs, finding your opening. Christ, you’re insanely wet. Not that it’s anything new, every second you spend around this man seems to put you in the craziest state of arousal, but it still surprises you sometimes just how little he has to do to get you to be a weeping, sloppy mess for him.

“Go on,” he says sternly, watching your fingers pause. You continue, sliding a finger inside of yourself, your hips moving slightly into the sensation. Joel lets out a small grunt of appreciation as he watches you slowly finger yourself. You lift your now slick finger out from between your legs, offering it up to him, and he grabs your wrist zealously, guiding your finger to his lips. He slowly sucks in on your finger, savoring every second as his eyes shadow with desire while they look deep into yours. You inhale softly, the feeling of his mouth on your finger so intense right now with how turned on you are. Joel doesn’t seem to be getting enough, because he swipes two of his fingers through your folds before pumping them hard into your cunt and bringing them to his own mouth, adding them in along with your finger. He pulls his head back, eyes rolling slightly, dragging his tongue along your and his finger before pulling them all out.

“Fuck, can’t get enough,” he sighs, lightly lapping at the pad of your finger as he still holds your wrist. You’re squirming, your hips moving uncomfortably with the desire steadily building in between your thighs. “You want me to stick my tongue inside of you, sweet girl, hm? Play with your little clit until you’re moanin’?” he says teasingly. You nod, a small whimper coming out of your mouth at his proposition, desperate for him to do what he’s saying now.

“You’ve been good,” he says, hand now stroking your thigh. “Now keep it up, put your hands on the side of the truck over there for me,” he commands, and you blink for a moment before scrambling up, moving over enough to get to the side of the truck. You grip the frame with your hands, standing on the truck bed with your ass protruding while awaiting Joel’s next move. He scoots over to you, nudging your legs further apart with his hands as he grabs at your ass, smirking to himself. He lowers his body, getting on his knees so that his face is behind you, immediately putting it between your legs and licking a strip down your pussy, landing a soft flick over your clit. 

“F-fuck,” you stammer out immediately with a stifled moan, your hips spasming down into his mouth.

“Oh, pretty girl, can’t have you get too excited yet, need to taste you till I’m satisfied,” Joel says, moving his mouth off of you briefly. You try to quiet down so he’ll keep going, and he dives back in between your legs, feasting on you from behind. You groan out in pleasure as his tongue pushes inside of you and coats itself with your arousal, Joel making a satisfied noise at the taste of you. 

You’re in absolute ecstasy, Joel’s teasing having taken way longer than you’d bargained for before finally getting some relief as he flicks your clit a few times with his tongue. He surprises you a moment later by sucking on it, and you inhale sharply at the sensation, breathing out an affirmation for him that it feels good.

His mouth hooks on tighter, the sucking harder than you’d ever experienced him doing, and it’s too much, it’s so intense that your knees wobble a little bit. You let out a faltering moan, your body’s response somewhere bordering on pain and pleasure before falling to the latter and you push your clit a little further into his mouth. After many long seconds, he releases it, breathing heavily onto your skin.

“No showin’ you any mercy, remember?” he says, and you sigh, eyes already feeling glassy from the way he’s treating your body. You nod lazily, hips pushing back down to urge him to continue, and he snickers lightly before licking your clit and sucking again, a little harder this time. You yelp and squirm under the immense amount of pressure and pleasure building right in that spot, the warmth of his mouth unending on the bundle of nerves. 

You hear a distant noise, the sound of a car approaching your private spot, and as it gets closer, Joel’s mouth moves off of you to turn towards it but you cry out. 

“Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop, Joel,” you say breathlessly, your hands gripping harder onto the metal of the car’s frame. Joel lets out a disbelieving chuckle and laps his tongue down your slit a few times. 

“Oh yeah? Don’t care if they watch us?” he coos, speaking in between strokes of his tongue. “Watch me make you scream my name?” A long drag up your slit followed by circling your clit with his tongue. “Dirty little thing…” He sucks hard on your clit again and you moan loudly before hearing the car drive away, likely spotting whatever they hell they thought you two were doing in this private spot and driving off quickly. You breathe out a laugh amid your ecstasy, quickly focusing back on Joel’s movements. 

You hear one of his hands working his belt before he unzips his pants and you glance over your shoulder, seeing his hand go down into his jeans and grab firmly onto his cock. 

“See what you do to me?” he breathes, licking and lavishing himself in all of your wetness, now coating his beard as he quickly begins pumping his cock with his hands. He growls and spanks your ass hard, eliciting a yelp from you before his mouth is back between your legs and to your utter surprise, he nips at your clit lightly and you almost jump, your hips twitching with such a different sensation. 

“Makes me almost angry, baby, how fucking hard you get me,” he says into your cunt before biting you again, his hand steadily working on his own cock and building his own pleasure. 

“Fuck, Joel,” you cry out, your whole body shaking from what he’s doing to you. He breathes heavily, grunting as his hand moves rapidly, trying to keep his mouth on rhythm through his own hand distracting him.

He suddenly pulls his mouth off,  buries three of his fingers from the hand that was jerking himself off deep inside of you, pumping several times until you leak all over his hands and he hums in satisfaction as he brings it back down to his cock, coating himself in you inside of his jeans. Mere moments later you hear a small whimper and a few expletives pass through his lips, still on your pussy, and he breathes out loudly. 

“Look at you, makin’ me come like a schoolboy in my jeans, baby,” he mutters. 

You hear a burst of sound and see a flash of light through your closed eyelids - the fireworks are starting, but they can wait. You can feel your climax so close, it feels like you’re practically reaching for it, your fingertips grazing the unbridled pleasure coming your way. 

“Fuckin’ come for me now, sweet girl, I wanna feel you soak my fuckin’ face, baby,” he groans out, the movements of his tongue becoming more frantic on you. You moan loudly, bouncing your hips back into him as he steadily works on your clit, placing sweet, toe curling bites on it every so often. You can’t believe it’s even possible for that to feel good, but it fucking does. The sound of the fireworks starts to drown out your moans, encouraging you to be even louder, crying Joel’s name. 

One last perfect circle of Joel’s tongue sends you shattering, your pulsing, aching clit shoved further into his mouth as he starts sucking hard while you spasm your hips. The pleasure is causing your knees to buckle, and Joel grabs your ass with both hands, squeezing each ass cheek tightly as he holds you up and steady as you continue to be hit by wave after wave of warm, tingling pleasure. You’re loud, maybe louder than you’ve ever been with Joel, not worrying about parents or neighbors or anyone hearing you two as you scream his name above the crackle and pop of fireworks. 

You breathe out a long exhale, your hips relaxing along with your hands on the side of the truck and steady your shaking knees. You settle down onto your legs when Joel pulls his face away from your thighs and you collapse your front against the truck, glancing at the sky to see gorgeous lights dancing above you two in several spots. This little viewpoint Joel chose offers a look at fireworks shows from several different nearby towns, all going at the same time. It’s beautiful, and you’ve never seen more than one fireworks show at once, so it’s fun to see the sparkling patterns in the distance as well, lighting up the whole sky. Joel tucks his body against yours, wrapping his arms around the front of your chest and dragging you down onto the blanket with him, holding you so you two can watch the sky together. You let out a small shiver, still completely naked, and Joel holds you tighter, tucking one of the blankets up around you now. He kisses the side of your face up and down as you keep your eyes on the fireworks, a small smile dancing across your face while his lips tickle and leave a tingling sensation over your skin. 

“Joel…” you say quietly, and turn to look in his eyes, your lips parted with your next words right on your tongue. 

“I know…” Joel says, not allowing you to say what he thinks might come out of your mouth. You stop short, unsure of why you were even going to say those words in the first place. You don’t love Joel, do you? It’s just that post orgasm feeling, that little bliss that lives inside you for a while afterwards that makes the person who gave it to you glow a little brighter for the moment. That’s not love, that’s… something else. You’re almost glad he didn’t let you embarrass yourself by letting it slip from your mouth.

“Me too,” he adds after a few silent moments, uncharacteristically timid, and your eyes widen, unsure if he’s saying what you think he is. You close your lips, pressing them together and give him a slight dip of your head, understanding he can’t go there right now. Instead, you turn your face a bit more and lean forward to kiss him softly. He reciprocates it immediately, a hand grazing your cheek as he holds your face to his tenderly. A radiant spark ignites in your chest when he touches you like this, so sweetly, like you’re only his to hold and also his to break. It makes you worship him  and fear him all at once, knowing he’s always going to be your undoing one way or the other.

Maybe this is love, you silently wonder to yourself. If it isn’t love, then how could anything else ever be?

taglist: @paleidiot​ @mumma-moonchild​ @soph55​

#fic: closer #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader

[rosenbergamot]

i like to think that theres just sometbing in the hermitcraft server code that transforms u into a hybrid. like. these were just regular ass humans before they started living there and by proximity the server has started to morph them into Something else. it started slowly at first in the earlier seasons and has only gotten more potent and effective as it goes on, almost as if its building and feeding off their energy.

and now doc is a. cyborg goat thing. rens a Dog. false and grian have bird wings. mumbo has shifted forms so many times that none of them can even tell if he was originally a human. cleo has become a FULL ON CORPSE. joe hills is a puppet now. like this is just normal for them. they just learn to live with it. these are permanent modifications made to their bodies and their minds and theyre all just like Yeah. Price i pay for being a hermit i guess XOXO

AND SOMETIMES IT CHANGES FROM SEASON TO SEASON (or from month to month, even) like joe wasnt a puppet last season but some force greater than him decided to yank his soul out of her body and now theyre a puppet. tango switched from blaze to Cold blaze and back to blaze between seasons. it FUCKED with him. imagine having ur core temperature shift so much like that. iskall rejoins and suddenly his bones are shifting all over again into a new form that the server has deemed is most appropriate for him this season. and its agonizing, sure, but its also like a 🙄🙄 eye roll moment bc we’ve been through this!!! god its like puberty all over again.

cub waking up one day and having to break the news to scar that hes no longer a vex . scar gets so sad he chews a hole through his base. jevin becoming less slimey and more solid and is so confused and uncertain about his entire life now because he cant fit in parts of his base when hes this solid. enderman mumbo who shifts and now no longer has a legitimate excuse to not make eye contact with people.

imagine being joel and skizz and talking to the past newcomers ab the weird stuff going on with ur body. skizz has noticed his shoulder blades have been aching recently, as if something underneath the skin is trying to pop out. joel has these weird growths on the top of his head. gem and pearl just laugh and go yeah man thats normal. shouldve been there when i became a weird alien thing last season lol.

theyre both just like ??? AND NOBODY WANTED TO TELL US ABOUT THIS???? to which all the other hermits shrug bc its such a widely accepted fact. its doing some cocomelon shit to their brain fr

#i wrote this last night in a stress induced haze #ignoring the obvious TERRIFYING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS #i think it could be funny #like SIGHHH the server is making me into a fish bc it sees how much time ive been spending near the water #grian is shaking his fist at the sky like GIVE ME MY WINGS BACK #u could go in so many different ways with this btw #like. body horror. slapstick comedy. angst. #the sky is the limit #i also think the code is as previosuly stated doing some cocomelon shit to their brain #hermitcraft #hermitblr #rosie writing

[lizzieisright]

Okay just a little thing about characters in my Marvel AU: (I kidnapped Acrane women for it. Again)

Original six:

Captain America!Abby. She is untrusting but honourable, worn out already: the new world is foreign and weird and her adjustment is still ongoing. She still dresses like her time, but if Steve looked like a grandpa Abby just looks like your friendly neighbourhood lesbian. Fun fact! She had a small guy named Steve to teach her grandma computer courses. He also taught her how to not get tracked on the web.

Iron Man!Ellie. Cocky, explosive, genius. Lost her mom and Joel after a stupid fight, got angry and started building weapons because of it. After being captured and almost dying gets back into her mom's vision of Williams Industries and starts building things to help people, and because she is a fucking Ellie Williams she is as rich as before.

Black Widow!Reader. You're a Russian assassin who escaped to the US after getting on a bad side with a lot of people in Europe. Let's just say Shield missions to Europe are a big pain in your ass. You put up a polite smily front because your grim attitude is not something Americans appreciate. (Guess who will)

Hawkeye!Manny. He is just a funny guy who saved your ass back in Europe and because I wanted to have one guy on a team the same way they only had Natasha. Manny doesn't have a secret family on the side, he is just there making a little team of cold blooded sarcastic assassins with you. You don't need to smile as much around him.

Thor!Vi. Got sent to Earth for punishment and instead fell in love with the little world. She is still visiting her friend Darcy and gives her incredibly crazy love advice from time to time.

Hulk!Caitlyn. This one doesn't really make sense, but the comedic potential is good. ("How many PhDs does Hulk have? Zero! I have seven" with Thor!Vi by her side can you imagine?). Caitlyn was too curious about Abby's story and tried to recreate the serum but ended up becoming a giantess who almost destroyed Harlem. She is very awkward and nervous, and hates being lied to. Tried to get away from gamma-radiation research and went away to help the poor with her medical skills.

Now others:

Fury!Sevika. Because these people need someone with no bullshit attitude. Sevika is constantly tired and smokes so much it's a miracle her lungs work. She is tough and doesn't tolerate anyone's shit. We don't know her story and we actually shouldn't.

Loki!Jinx. It's in the name. Vi's little sister who adored her, but when the time came to choose between her and humanity Vi chose humanity. And then it turned out her hair is blue for a reason and Jinx is not only adopted but also the child of an enemy. Jinx is out for revenge. She plans to destroy Earth with everyone on it to get Vi and then destroy Asgard to get Vander. (Also the comedic potential of Caitlyn repeatedly slamming Jinx into the floor)

Pepper!Dina. The only person who can make Ellie do something she doesn't want to. Dina gets shit done and done brilliantly.

Maria Hill is now also a Coulson and gets paid double.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #cap!abby #marvel au #I also have a list for ca:tws characters #the movie rewrite is coming soon! #written on a knee

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e2 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post, not quite a liveblog. this post is gonna be unpolished and messy bc this is the only way i know to process my emotions abt these episodes enough that i can actually start talking coherently about them.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

did not notice the first time around that buttons is sleeping with his legs sticking up resting against the side of the ship. king.

WHY DID THEY USE A DIFFERENT TAKE OF THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL SCENE WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS.

oh god the face stede makes after he breathes out all wistfully is so pained... ogughuhg heartbreak......

why is the groom cake topper dirty ed were you kissing it. ed. edward.

hNNNG ed pushing the painted bride figurine closer..... im gonna throw up

ed!! rolling over and crying!!! TAIKA HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT LOOKING SO FUCKING SAD THIS SHIT HURTS ME

like i can literally feel the tears burning in his eyes. the way his chest starts shaking with sobs but he's managing to keep the sobs in for like one more second. he's trying so hard to hold it in and i've cried like this before and it physically HURTS

also oughg the song. run from me baby... run my good wife... run from me baby..... you better run for your life........ ED THINKS THAT'S WHAT STEDE DID!!! RAN AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! and he thinks that was stede running for his life bc like, he thinks he's inherently monstrous and unlovable and hnnnnnnnnngggg. ed teach go to therapy challenge.

the crew responding to zheng's wake-up bell is so relatable. me when my alarm goes off at 6am

ok so the running bit where stede's crew has never heard of China before. is kinda weird to me. and honestly it kinda runs back to what zheng said in the last episode "one thing i've learned in my time here: you people know so little" about nobody knowing how valuable indigo is. like the show is portraying your average caribbean pirate as really ignorant and only like, ed stede and fucking ricky are on par with zheng yi sao. and i mean knowledge doesnt equate to intelligence so like the indigo thing i didnt really bat an eye at but when it was played for comedy with olu not knowing how to pronounce china i was like... hm. but the season's just started so maybe im reading too much into it but idk. it's a weird writing choice to me.

loving how at the start of last season the crew almost mutinied bc stede was a soft captain but now roach is out here embracing how all of them are "tender as hell."

love how lucius and pete have their romantic reunion chat just. fully in front of an audience

stede looks. so upset. watching lupete kiss. this man misses his boyfriend so fucking bad

lucius not even trying to hide how much he Does Not want to be stuck with stede in towels

also hi the sky in this scene is so pink. it was blue when buttons was doing tai chi so i guess this is sunset. day one complete.

buttons confirmed sea witch one of the best scenes in s2 so far. intrigued by auntie saying "i have looked for you far and wide" like are there other sea witches and auntie only wanted buttons?? or is buttons literally the only sea witch in the world. i want the lore.

ed. eddie eddie edward. ed my beloved babygirl. i would fuckinggg die for you

ok but also there is literally no way frenchie didnt see ed when he walked in like ed is standing Right There. i love when directors do stuff like this tho it's so funny to me. "ok joel just walk in there and pretend like you dont see taika standing literally right in front of you"

just noticed ed was polishing the handle to the wardrobe (the main wardrobe) right there. he's tidying up. getting his affairs in order before he— *i break down into inconsolable sobbing*

i wont like tho it was very funny to me when we finally got this full scene and ed's "and no more stede" turned out to be "no more izzy." very fun for me

god i LOVE when we get pirate code shit. none of these rules ever make sense it's always just whatever works for the plot's sake. "that's the code of the sea: the new first mate always kills the old first mate. it's always been like that" i don't think it was literally ever like that i think the writers decided that making up this bullshit rule would add drama to the situation. it's like how pirates can win duels by rendering their opponent's sword inoperable (as if pirates ever had like ritualistic duels). or next episode when zheng yi sao is gonna kill them for mutinying against ed. i love how all the logistics of the plot are always some handwavy-bullshit bc the show just Does Not Care about this shit. this is the ed and stede show and everything else is just superfluous set dressing

we were all fixated on lucius living in the walls none of us predicted that it could be izzy living in the walls

"start with his leg see where it goes" frenchie what does this MEAN

archie thinking jim was asking which leg to cut off and just. answering the question genuinely. is so fucking real lmao me too girl

JIM PUTTING THEIR HAND OVER ARCHIE'S TO BRACE THEMSELF BEFORE THEY START CUTTING INTO IZZY'S LEG... the romances on this show are unparalleled

archie when izzy's leg starts gushing: aye yai yai!

stede telling everyone in laundry abt his whole romance with blackbeard. and stede telling zheng and auntie abt blackbeard when he thought they were just soup sellers. you KNOW stede's been telling literally everyone he meets abt how he's looking for his beloved ed.

lol ok but cuba was not written on the map in the one shot and then stede says "oh, hang on, he might be in cuba!" and it cuts back to the map and he underlines the word "cuba" which somehow mysteriously appeared on the map while stede was chatting. 10/10 no notes

also GOD do i relate to stede so hard sometimes. it did not even occur to stede to ask lucius how he's been until lucius points it out and then he's like "oh! right! how are you??" and he does genuinely care but he was just so absorbed in his own shit it did not occur to him to ask. like. ohhhh baby does that hit home

LUCIUS DRAMATICALLY PAUSING IN THE DOORWAY WHEN STEDE TELLS HIM TO WAIT. HIS HANDS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND HIS HEAD BENT. THIS FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HIM!!!!

LLOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER "oh, yeah. now you care?" AND THNE SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE WALKS AWAY god i LOVE this soap opera

ok but buttons looks very confused when auntie says "i see you've adopted the humble form of a man" and then she hands him the book abt shapeshifting. like did she know that he doesnt know how to change form or what.

auntie asks buttons to bless their travels. anyway this is how stede somehow didnt get everyone killed in e1 despite the fact that they were at sea for a few months and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

LOVE auntie's little... yell? whimper?? before shuffling away nervously. incredible performance.

also the spellbook thing is in chinese. pretty cool how buttons knows how to read chinese.

ed jumpscare 2!

frenchie's "fire away. not literally, i hope" I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME KJSGHKFJDGHJHK WHAT A GREAT FUCKING LINE

love how irl frenchie using the wrong hand for that throat-slitting pantomime would be unimportant but the show acts like that's something that could actually give frenchie away bc they need to really nail home the fact that Ed Is A Fucking Genius

another thing ed is: INCREDIBLY HOT. he is being intimidating and evil to frenchie rn and i am very very into it.

obsessed with archie casually picking some random gore off her hand

also obsessed with how jim is just poking at izzy's leg. they learned how to butcher animals as a kid tho so i guess they're not really grossed out by severed body parts lmaoo

also also obsessed with how izzy would absolutely have not survived this at all. i love this show

list part 2:

ok im sorry but "he's our dick" does not feel earned to me. like they use that fantastic shot of the whole crew in episode 6 last season but what's crucial abt that shot is izzy isn't hanging out with the crew. he's sitting away in the corner monologuing abt how he thinks maybe ed might not want to kill stede.

i do think it's significant tho that jim wasn't there for izzy at his worst aka threatening to withhold rations for laughing at him. like they weren't part of the vote to mutiny against izzy. but frenchie was and frenchie was like "start with his leg see where it goes" which does not seem like he's really that invested in keeping izzy alive.

also it's weird how we don't see fang at all for this bit with hiding izzy in the walls. like he would be the one i'd expect to have the strongest connection to izzy bc he knew izzy before the show started and he was hugging and comforting izzy last episode.

anyway imo jim keeping izzy alive is more abt them missing when they were on the ship with olu and the whole crew and the ship was like a family, not necessarily abt feeling loyalty to izzy specifically. i could be wrong tho who knows.

one thing i do know is that it is VERY important to point out how jim is struggling really hard with everything, archie is not. she wasnt there for the co-captaining era at all and she seems to be rolling with everything like it's all expected. this includes the wedding raid and ed pointing a gun at her last season and stuff. even now she's mostly just confused by why jim is bothering to try and keep izzy alive. but she acts like the amputation and the violence are all what she expected.

yay kissing!! with the shit stuffed up their nose and covered in blood and jim still holding the leg GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

hnng when archie says "you have... hope" jim's jaw tenses and they visibly swallow after the word "hope." god jim is going through it

"the wooden demon boy that thirsted for life" god i love this game of telephone that the show is playing with pinocchio it's so fucking funny

archie definitely still says a few syllables after "no i was cleaning up blood" while jim was leaning in for another kiss but none of it forms a coherent word. relatable.

ed's "ohhhhohoho. ohoho" is so funny to me. this man is so jealous that other people are getting to kiss ppl they like but not him.

hm archie and jim are not actually kissing when we cut to the shot of ed standing in the stairwell. i imagine this is an editing goof or something

jim and archie pulling away like two kids who got caught kissing under the bleachers during gym class or something. incredible. one of jim's nose plug rags is mysteriously missing now. i think archie ate it.

ed shushing frenchie. nothing to say here but "i need him carnally"

"take the fuckin leg" ed does NOT like mess!!!

"he was your friend" well jim. he might have been ed's friend. but he had a very strange way of showing it.

why does it sound like ed has spurs on his boots

OLU IS SO CUTE I CANT BLAME ZHENG FOR BEING LIKE "you're doing so good at filing thanks so much!!" WHEN HE'S ACTIVELY FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

also. i want to know about auntie's filing system. ahead of it's time, you say?? tell me more. hi my name is jess and i love sorting things

ah yeah olu mispronouncing china moment

olu and zheng are cute tho ngl

roach is having an orgasmic experience drinking soup. very relatable.

love that stede called the broth "insane" like fics so often get stede's voice wrong bc he will randomly say casual slang in a way that contradicts his general s1 vibe of stuffy frilly rich guy. but he's more like your average dad whose general grammar when speaking is pretty outdated but he's also trying to use slang to fit in with his kids

oh god stede is trying so hard with lucius it is giving SUCH awkward dad vibes. "when i was young and edgy" and "mr. cool" STEEEEDE

"my spicy little rat boy" im so sad that lucius hates that pet name bc this is the funniest thing black pete's ever said

aw nooooo the way pete jumps when lucius yells at him :(:(:(

yo wee john has like a wristband with all these sewing needles and shit stuck on it that's such a cool costume detail

the first thing izzy says after waking up is "my leg" and in my head im hearing it in the spongebob meme voice

first: very funny how ed responds "yeah!" like, laughing about the whole. amputation thing. and then secondly i am obsessed with "up in Leg Heaven" he is so fucking quirky. i love him.

"have you come to take the other one" yeah you'd probably enjoy that huh izzy.

love ed's dangly earring. gender.

smthng abt how izzy is instantly exhausted and dismissive when ed tells izzy to take the gun vs how ed was also bored and dismissive when izzy said "i have love for you." idk if there's anything there im just making tenuous connections in my head rn

help. ed clenching his fists when he's standing with his back to izzy. he really wants izzy to do it but also even deeper than that he really doesn't he wants to live

izzy starts to laugh the same way he started to cry last episode with like a really loud sudden gasp of air. also he laughs so weirdly jesus christ

also jesus this is so fucking dark. i mean obviously but im fucking reeling right now from ed trying to get izzy to kill him and izzy's response is just "do it yourself you fucking pussy." fuck.

more thoughts on this scene here

"i loved you... best i could" i actually dont have a lot of thoughts abt this at all aside from it just seems like a weird thing for ed to say. idk. i have a few metas abt this saved that ive been meaning to read so maybe that will help me deconstruct this but i think i'd need more time to figure out why this line feels weird to me. it could literally just be that i dont like blackhands at all but idk. probably not gonna unpack my feelings for a while tho bc in terms of everything i want to dig into from these 3 episodes alone this is at the bottom of that list lol

love how ed tells frenchie "go live" right before he steers them into a storm and tries to doom everyone on the ship.

"two messed-up kids probably" i know this is one of those things that some viewers are just always gonna have a problem with but it's so fucking funny to me how stede is like. never seeing his children again. and is like "yeah they're probably traumatized by how i was a bad father. well that's for mary and doug to deal with!"

lucius winking when he calls stede quite the fuck-up. i love this snarky gay

anyway for how fucked up the vibe is on ed's ship at least they weren't playing human puppet or making people catch rats with their teeth

shit this is longer than the last post. anyway list part 3:

ok i completely forgot abt this scene where the crew back on the Revenge is talking in the hallway before they go confront ed but i think it's rlly interesting how jim is the only one who says anything abt how ed's sudden cheery mood is NOT a good thing. fang is like "do we think he's better?" and jim's like "fuck no!" and frenchie's like "idk he seemed pretty calm to me." like this is so fucking juicy to me. jim knew this wasn't "better." i think this is because jim kinda gets it. they know what it's like to be told you're only meant for violence. and they know what it's like to want something softer. last season i probably wouldnt have said jim understood ed's suicidal tendencies but the way jim KNOWS that this isnt better makes me wonder if they understand this, too.

altho when they go outside and ed is like "it's a bad storm! and i took the wheel! and im gonna fire into the mast! we're all gonna die!!" jim yells "what do you want, you piece of shit!" (in spanish) so maybe they dont get the suicide bit of it. but they did understand that ed wasn't better.

oh ed's voice in "what do i want?" is so whiny and sad. babygirl is fucking going through it. good thing the rain is hiding his tears ahaha. ha.

"all love dies im just hastening the process" objectively this is fucked up but also it is so funny to me that he's like "i got dumped so now nobody else is allowed to be happy and in love." he broke up all the couples at the end of s1 and he raided a fucking wedding. babygirl i love you. you are so unwell

VERY RANDOM THOUGHT and i would have to go back to last episode double check but i dont think any of the background crew are women?? it's just archie??? which kinda bums me out a bit like i dont only want female rep in the main cast i want to see random background women too. i could be entirely wrong abt this tho just in this scene i only see dudes in the background

anyway archie being like "alright i guess we're fighting" bc this is archie's normal. archie is just kinda resigned to her life being shit.

stede crossing out "dead" and circling "alive" is so fucking funny to me hfjkhdjvgdfjk like. manifesting.

but also he does kinda manifest that in the next episode doesnt he?? he loves ed back to life ahaha oh god oh fuck *starts sobbing*

"looks like he's gotten back into arson" okay and??? wee john's an arson enthusiast also, cmon lucius dont judge a man for his hobbies

stede's fucking face when he considers what lucius said abt "maybe his time with you is the best it's gonna get for him" like i think he tries to think abt it and just. cant. he cant fucking accept that. god im gonna throw up.

HNNNNG THE RUN FROM ME SONG COMING BACK IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

i cant get over how archie is like. yeah bro it's fine. it's cool just kill me im not gonna hold it against you.

jim's like "YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!!" and ed's like "teehee yeah :3 u got me"

oh bro some of the random background crew people just fully go overboard huh. damn. rip those guys.

ok so im choosing to believe that izzy fired a lucky shot there bc the man couldn't even shoot himself point blank in the skull but im supposed to believe that he got ed right in the arm from the other side of the deck in the middle of a crazy storm and the ship rocking like crazy and izzy's probably suffering from like, insane amounts of blood loss?? i dont buy it. i mean it doesnt matter at all but i think he was trying to hit ed's general torso area and if ed didnt have his arm held out izzy would've missed. like i said tho this makes no fucking difference. it's just a fun little headcanon hehe

love how ed laughs like an absolute maniac here. babygirl u are so unhinged.

wait it's fucking wild how in the middle of all this we to cut to auntie putting the map back together and then we see that zheng is bringing her fleet over land. anyway this is foreshadowing obviously but like considering the song choice and cutting this between ed's suicide attempt and then the crew mutinying. is a choice. and idk why they made that choice yet.

it is a pretty dramatic reveal tho. i didnt appreciate that the first time but holy shit. she's just pulling her ships all the way to the caribbean. girlboss.

and then the mutiny. the relief on ed's face hurts me so fucking much

other thoughs about this scene here

HOLY SHIT THIS POST CREDITS SCENE AHHHHHH

so first of all. auntie saying olu can be allowed to clean up random hairs around the desk and zheng being like "there's not that much hair" girl you know you're lying. her hair is so long and so gorgeous and you KNOW random strands end up making scary-ass hair spiders if somebody doesn't regularly sweep things up

second of all: olu pretending there's a carrier bird with a messege for zeng to give her a break is SO CUTE. OLU. OLU YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #edward teach #stede bonnet #crew of the revenge #archie #zheng yi sao #izzy hands #izzy critical #s2e02 #txt #mine #og #gentlebeard #ofmds2rwwiptjdmtaors

[bonesandthebees]

feel free to use this ask as a reason to ramble about eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, id love to hear

oh man okay you asked for it spoilers for eternal sunshine of the spotless mind under the cut

I just think this movie is such a good display of a toxic/unhealthy relationship. joel and clementine are terrible for each other. by the time they're at their bitter end, they constantly argue and insult each other and neither one feels like a good person when they're around the other. but they also truly, deeply love each other. the tragic thing about those kinds of toxic relationships is that it comes to the question of "is it more painful for us to be together or for us to be apart?"

the end of the movie is just what drives me the most insane. after hearing the tape recordings from each of their mind erasure sessions they know full well how this relationship is going to play out. it's not like they broke up, learned from their mistakes and worked to become better people, and then got back together. they didn't learn anything because they erased the other from their memory! there's no chance for them to not repeat those mistakes. it's going to happen. they both know where this is going to lead. but that love is still there even if they can't remember it. they still feel drawn to the other person. the theme of is the pain you'll feel at the end worth the love you feel during it is just one that I love thinking about. it's so raw and messy and human. you know you're going to hurt this person but you want to love and be loved by them anyway. you're not meant for each other but you're going to pretend to be for as long as you can. it's tragic and beautiful and again, so utterly human.

and of course there's the smaller things like clementine being a fantastic deconstruction of the manic pixie dream girl trope before the manic pixie dream girl was even formally named. like yes she's got colorful hair and a quirky personality but then you see that oh, she's actually fucked up. at the start of the movie when we're introduced to her post memory wipe, she's blunt and spins wildly between moods and she's got the colorful hair and talks about wanting to name the dye colors—she's got the quirky weird girl personality! then as we go through joel's memories we see that bluntness and those mood swings aren't a joke. she can genuinely be a mean person and her entire mood flips on joel in two seconds flat just because he made a single comment. the quirkiness isn't a cutesy thing, it's a facet of her personality that might seem intriguing and fun at the start, but does also cause issues in the relationship later on.

and joel is an interesting dive into the nice nerdy guy who ends up with the manic pixie dream girl trope too. yes he's awkward and nice and offers her a ride home and all that, and doesn't really know how to respond to her flirting in an awkward but charming way. but then later on (or technically earlier on as we go back through joel's memories) we see that while he's quiet, he's very judgemental. he thinks of himself as better than clementine and picks at her flaws in his head. the fact that he never puts a voice to his thoughts lets him bottle things up inside and makes him bitter. like how clementine's bluntness is strangely charming at first, joel's awkwardness is only charming until it makes it impossible for him to properly communicate his feelings with his partner.

and again, despite all this they love each other. they love each other so fucking much. and they would rather be hurt by one another than be happy with someone else.

and yeah theres also the subplots with the memory wiping staff and I really liked the inclusion of the girl who works there finding out she asked for her memory of her affair with her boss to be wiped and how betrayed and violated she feels after finding that out and all that, but the highlight for me is always just joel and clementine and everything about their fucked up dynamic.

we all know on this blog that I love unhealthy and messy relationships. and tbh I think it started with this movie! out of my top 4 movies, 3 of them (including this one) are about complicated messy relationships between people so. I have a type lol.

#ask #jiksvokrat #eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

[strmborns]

TLOU: Endure and Survive

Spoilers for The Last of Us episode 5 bellow

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“Super Sam,” that boy is the cutest

Henry looked straight into Joel’s eyes, I loved that. And I have to say Pedro is even more attractive from far away

“He has an asshole voice,” he does and Joel can’t even lie, or won’t bother

SAM IS SO CUTE I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HIM

Its so weird seen Joel without his backpack

The children’s room… so fucking sad

Ellie and Sam playing football 😍

“You might not be her father, but you were someone’s,” I WAS WAITING FOR THIS LINE

I mean obviously I’m siding with Henry, but I like how they are showing us both sides. Why Henry did what he did and the hurt it caused people. That being said, Kathleen is unhinged

THE FUCKING SNIPPER SCENE

Joel is in full dad mode already

I feel so bad for Joel, he was literally begging the old man not to shoot. We can tell he is tired of killing people

Guess we found out where all the infected went

This child infected was so gross but she also saved the day

So Joel didn’t have to kill the big infected like I did… so unfair

The whole infected scene was just insane for me

Kathleen talking about how maybe Sam was just supposed to die just really went there with the whole fate thing. He dodged death a couple of times and in the middle of that madness he was the one that got bit, this 8 year old child’s fate was to die, a very tragic death

“I’m scared of ending up alone,” my poor baby what did they do to you on part II

I don’t really remember this part in the game, but Ellie so desperately trying to help Sam broke my heart

“Stay awake with me,” I’M IN TEARS

Joel begging Henry to give him the gun, knowing what he would do, and Ellie just confused. I can’t take it

#the last of us hbo #the last of us spoilers #the last of us #ellie williams #tlou #joel miller #pedro pascal #bella ramsey

[moon-ursidae]

TLOU HBO EPISODE 2 SPOILERS

general thoughts and shit are going here in a list! see ya’ll on the other side!

got a late start bc i was w a friend i hadn’t seen in a long time.

ANYWAY

oh shit okay jakarta this is where it pretty much started yea?

yuuuup there’s military men

this is so fucking horrifying bro

the slow buildup is so fucking good

i’m excited to see what neil does w this episode bc we know the dude can direct the shit out of a game haha

OH MY GOD WHEN SHE MADE THE INCISION IN THE LEG AND YOU COULD SEE THE GROWTH??? GROSS BUT AWESOME

AND IN THE MOUTH?? STOMACH CHURNING. SO AWESOME.

oh my god wait so the u.s. government probably got the idea to bomb after they did in jakarta?? CRAZY.

i feel so sorry for this woman. she’s absolutely horrified. these poor people in general dude. jesus christ.

the cold opens so far have REALLY set the tone well for the episodes and series as a whole

if anyone skips this intro, i simply do not trust them

BELLIE!!!

this is fucking gorgeous

DIRECTED BY NEIL DRUCKMANN

joel and tess sitting there like parents the next morning after you miss curfew💀💀

“there’s not gonna be anything bad in here?” “just you.” “oh, funny.” THEMMMMMMM AAAHHHHH

his hand :(

anna torv is so pretty

LMAO the difference in what they’re eating

“you must’ve heard that he wants to shoot you.” AND THE WAY HE DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING BLINK

bella is literally ellie you bitches that doubted them better EAT GRASS

“whatever happened to me is the key to finding a vaccine”

LIKE THE GAME HAHA

“fuck you man i didn’t ask for this” !!!!!!!!!!!!

“if she so much as twitches” AND SHE STARTS JOKING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

bella is ellie bro

joel is so over this shit lmao

“jesus fine i’ll just have to throw a fuckin sandwich at them.” I LOVE HERRRR

omg joel moving the heavy ass furniture HAHAHAHA

THIS IS FUCKING GORGEOUS

THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD

OMG ALL HER PINS ON HER BAG 🥹

pedro looks so goddamn fucking good my god

omg i remember seeing bts of this SOOOO long ago this is crazy

she lied about riley to tess :(

“mom, dad, boyfriend?” “i’m an orphan and uhh nooooo” so subtle and so good.

THE MUSIC FROM THE GAME AHH it’s changed slightly but it’s the same basically

HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO ATTRACTIVE

sorry haha

THESE PRACTICAL SETS ARE CRAZZZYYYYYYYY

HOTEL???

“i don’t know how to swim.” “seriously?” “you think we have pools in the QZ?” “no, smartass. i mean-“ *jumps in to show her that it’s shallow* “i don’t know how i was supposed to know that” LMAOOO I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH ALREADY

also it’s not the last of us without wading in some gross water

THE FRONT DESK BIT HAHAHA

I LOVE HER SO MUCH

“you’re a weird kid” “you’re a weird kid”

proceeds to get fucking jumpscared by a skeleton and joel jumps to see what’s up

AHHHHH🥺

him reaching to help her up and them both letting go as soon as possible but joel lingers there and looks at his hand🥲

probably bc of the whole infection thing but also 🥺

guys if you have to take the elevator shaft DON’T.

JOEL GRABBING HER HOOD TO MOVE HER💀

BOOSTING HER UP TO FIND A WAY AROUND HAHAHAHAHAHA JSBSJSBSJSBSJHDHDHDHSHSBWKDBK

NOW THIS IS A FAITHFUL ADAPTATION

omg now they’re left alone together HAHA

“where’d you learn to do that?” “the circus” AND HE JUST LOOKS SO EXASPERATED HAHA

i love that ellie is so inquisitive about who joel is in both the game and series now. i would be doing the same if i was traveling with this man i met less than 24 hours ago, but it just hits so much harder knowing what joel’s been through yknow?

him stopping her immediately from asking personal questions bc he doesn’t wanna get attached and doesn’t want her to get attached either bc that would be harder for him AHHHHHHHHHHHH

“how long do infected live?” “oh i thought you went to school” IN SUCH A SASSY WAY I LOVE HIM

he looks so fucking good.

“what about that guy last night?” THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER KSHAKSHSKV

saved by the bell joel haha

HOLY FUCK. THAT’S ALL INFECTED????

i like that this is how they’re introducing the tendrils more. tess is telling both ellie and the audience how they work

“museum.” YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA BABBYYYYYY

BUT ALSO FUUUUUUUUUUCK NO.

these practical sets are INSANE

i fucking love how they’re so smart with each other already

OH FUCK IT’S CLICKER TIME BABYYYY

the way they’re trying to get her to shut up lmao

this is bad. they are making so much noise without making any noise and i’m STRESSED

that’s so many bodies holy fuck

OH MY GOD IT’S THE ROOM FROM THE TRAILER

LEMME SEE THOSE CLICKER PRACTICAL EFFECTS BABY

THE WAY I JUST GOT CHILLS DOWN MY FUCKING SPINE TO MY GODDAMN TOES JUST HEARING THE CLICKING SOUNDS

OH. MY. GOD. THE WAY THEY MOVE. THE WAY THEY SOUND. I AM SO SCARED.

OH FUCK OH SHIT OH FUCK

IT’S SO MUCH BIGGER THAN JOEL OH MY GOD

RUN?? JOEL SKAHSKSBOWBSLWBSKSBE

FUCK TESS IS ON HER OWN. NOOOOO

THIS IS ALSO SO ACCURATE TO GAMEPLAY BC YOU CAN JUST HIDE FROM THEM AGAIN AFTER YOU ATTRACT THEM

THE WAY THAT I’M SCARED TO BREATHE OR MOVE

OH MY GOD THEY’RE FUCKING HORRIFYING

THE SILENCE TO THE CLICKER BEING SO CLOSE AND SO LOUD???????

THIS IS SO CRAZY

OH MY GOD IT’S ONE OF THE FIRST FINAL SHOT THAT THEY POSTED ON SOCIALS

FUCKING JUMPED OVER THE COUNTER???

AHHHHH THIS IS SO SCARY

PLEASE NO TENDRIL I WILL THROW UP

TESS!

tess…

“twisted ankle, but yea.” AND ELLIE GETTING BIT AGAIN AND SAYING “i mean if it was gonna happen to one of us.” AND TESS’S FACE OH MY GOD PLEEEAAASSSSEEEEEEE

THE BLOOD ON HER JACKET :(

OH MY GOD IT’S THE FUCKING SCENE THE PLANK CONNECTING BUILDINGS AND THE SHOT AHHHHH

this is another way i KNOW neil directed this

the way joel is immediately tending to tess :(

and how she’s snappy w him bc he’s being pessimistic, as per usual, and she’s dealing with A LOT rn

he looks kinda hurt dude AHHH

THE SCENE!!!! THE SCENE!!!!!!!

THE SAME MUSIC!!!!!!!!!

i’m crying.

“is it everything you hoped for?” “jury’s still out. but man you can’t deny that view.”

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HERRRRR

AND HE IS THE LAST ON THE ROOF AND LOOKS AT THE FUCKING WATCH AFTER LOOKING AT THE VIEW MORE😭😭😭

I’M SO EMOTIONAL

and the frame stays on the ladder with the capitol in the background like the game 🥺

omg the way tess is so far ahead of joel and ellie AHHHHHHH

him checking on her arm to see what’s up AHHH

oh fuck. it’s the capitol building.

the way his paternal instincts have already kicked in i can’t. the way he moved ellie from the bodies UGH.

tess’s desperation is so palpable from the moment she stormed inside. anna torv is fucking fierce and i love her.

“that’s not my fucking home!” uh oh.

me during this whole fucking scene:

oh my god.

ALL THE FUCKING RUNNERS UR JOKING

PLEASE DON’T LET HER BE FUCKING MAULED TO DEATH I WILL RIOT

“save who you can save.” I WILL GO INTO THIS IN A SEPERATE POST BC KAHAKSB

the way he DRAGS her out of there.

oh my god. the way she’s left standing there but she takes those last few breaths to recenter herself. FUCK man.

PLEASE DON’T LET HER BE MAULED.

this is almost worse oh my god.

the way she’s frozen in fear oh my god

the tendrils will never NOT be disgusting.

jesus christ.

i fucking LOVE that final shot of ellie. i will also discuss further.

THAT’S IT??? MORE PLEASE OH MY GOD.

i gotta wait a week for bill and frank??? DAMNIT.

IT’S ELLIE’S T-SHIRT!!!!!!

the part where joel is talking to bill looks like a flashback! he’s got a lot less gray goin on. i’m excited to see more of their relationship!

BTS TIME!

YEEESSSSS CLICKER BTS

barrie gower popped the FUCK off holy shit

SEE. THEY PUT HELLA THOUGHT AND RESEARCH INTO MAKING THE CHANGE TO TENDRILS.

FUUUCK man tess was literally about to start her redemption and she finally found hope :(

“neil understands how to create fear” YEA HE FUCKIN DOES GODDAMN

okay! holy fuck! i’m emotional! AHH!

i’m gonna go think about this shit and make seperate posts for my thoughts later bc it’s almost 3am haha

fucking amazing job to the cast and crew again. holy fucking shit.

i’m obsessed.

#the last of us hbo spoilers #tlou hbo spoilers #hbo the last of us spoilers #hbo tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #the last of us hbo #hbo the last of us #tlou hbo #hbo tlou #the last of us #tlou #mads watches the last of us!🌿

[otherworldly-locos]

My thomas design is finally done oh my god (1/7)

Here is the boy! I’ve procrastinated for maybe like 5 months now on trying to get my ttte designs done. I have no idea why, but my body physically wouldn’t let me draw the train men 😭

But now since Thomas is done, im gonna start working on edward pretty soon.

Some info on him under the cut :))

•Thomas Graham was born in the uk and loved everything trains. His father worked on the gwr so he was a very big inspiration for little Thomas. He took the time to watch his father work and tagged along with him if he could.

•Thomas was friends with Percy Lewis growing up, a kid who also really liked trains but also liked knitting and other activities like that. They always played a game where one of them was a conductor and the other was a passenger. The train was usually made out of a wooden box.

•They both went to the same junior high, high school, and university centered on engineering and robotics. Both of them were practically inseparable.

•Then after university, they moved to sodor to become engineers and the fat controller gave them both their own engines.

I’m not that good with the biography stuff so I’m gonna move to hcs lmao

•Thomas is very famous on the island due to the multitude of heroic deeds he had performed for the past couple decades.

•very much a big prick. He can be kind and respectful on rare occasions but to mostly everyone (even sir topam hatt) he is very rude and annoying. Hiro and Percy are the only exceptions though. He cares for them too much.

•He likes playing sports a ton. He plays a game of football (soccer) with the steam team when they all have their break days.

•This is just a quirk that my ver of sodor has but people who are born on sodor or have moved to the island are gifted/cursed with sorta eternal youth. But it varies from person to person. This is a phenomenon that’s never been explained.

•That specific quirk effected Thomas when he moved to the island. When he arrived, he was 26. But as time went on, he noticed he never aged physically. So thomas is pretty damn old considering how he works on the railway for decades. But he still has a childlike attitude.

•Thomas has the biggest, fastest crush on Percy. He loves his best friend so much. But he can’t bring himself to tell Percy. He fears it’ll ruin their relationship.

•him and Percy like to pull pranks on the steam team and other ppl on the island that they know

•This mf has a record collection and loves listening to billy Joel and the Beatles. Although he was born in the uk, he likes American music very much.

•He hates Diesel 10 so so so much. Like a grudge type of hate. He feels this way because d10 did some not very good things in the magic railroad and dotd. There’s definitely no way he’ll change his opinion on him anytime soon.

•other then Percy, his other close friends have to be Anne & clarabelle, hiro, skiff, lady, and the rest of the steam team ofc. He has a rocky relationship with the strike trio but still loves them very very much.

•dude snores so loudly. Gordon’s room in next to his and the man wants to throw him through a wall sometimes.

•very very proud of his shitty stubble

•saving this for last but Thomas is fatherless. His dad died of an accident whilst walking to work. Very sensitive topic for him :(

All this info probably sounded a lot better in my head but I hope this is alright! I’m really excited about making my own human au. I’ve been thinking about this for awhile :))

Edit: fuck the whole thing about the island having a weird age thing, I’m not gonna mess with that since it’s complicated and I’m lazy so they age normally now.

#thomas the tank engine #thomas the train #ttte #ttte thomas #ttte fanart #ttte au #ttte human au #art #ttte percy #ttte diesel 10 #diesel 10 #I am estatic about this post bro omg