#and for people like me who feel the urge to be ultra specific in everything they create

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Reference Guide to Seb's Hair(Long post w lots of pics):

I would rate these but I love every version of him too much so I cannot pick 🤭, I'll add some commentary though. This took a horrible amount of time but it was also a great excuse to download and show off a truly terrible amnt of Seb pics(I was in tears half the time bcs of cuteness agression)

0. Testing(Jerez)(February 10th-12th):

Honestly such perfect Seb hair, I find this soooo cute!!! His hair is honestly always so perfect at Jerez testing every season. I love the length and style, he looks so incredibly pretty <3

1. Australia(March 26th-29th):

And now he is...bald. I actually kinda love this hair, he's my little kiwi fruit!! But I also can't help but mourn the Jerez hair. I'm just like: why did you feel the need to go bald, Seb??? It makes him look so young!

2. Malaysia(April 2nd-5th):

3. China(April 16th-19th):

I think the highlight of his bald era is how much he embodies the nickname "sunshine." Like the way his hair and eylashes glow in the sun??? Literally sunshine. Also it's cute to see his hair grow more fluffy

4. Bahrain(April 23rd-26th):

The texture differences are so interesting, I think this length looks its best when it's more fluffy like in the top right pic.

5. Spain(May 7th-10th):

It's funny how his hairline does that point in the middle, again: looks better when he looks unkempt

6. Monaco(May 21st-24th):

Weirdly shocked at how much his hair grew in-between Spain and Monaco??? Also I forgot that those fashion pics were from this weekend, and I was jumpscared by his mohawk look. I think he should keep away from hair product hahaha

7. Turkey(June 4th-7th):

Lego hair looking ass. Kidding kidding, just think his hair looks best all natural

8. Silverstone(June 18th-21st):

Lowkey kinda baffling to me how different his hair looks at different stages of the weekend. The podium hair especially is just soooo different, its very cute but yeah idk

9. Germany(July 9th-12th):

I did not realize he cut his hair again during this season?? Seeing these was very surprising to me, I had thought he grew it out for the entire season but I guess not! But I guess if he hadn't gotten a haircut the entire season, he'd probably have his angelic curls of 2010 by the end

10. Hungary(July 23rd-26th):

Kinda love the looks he was serving this weekend, it's just very spikey and cute(also the cunty sunglasses!!

11. Valencia(August 20th-23rd):

12. Belgium(August 27th-30th):

That garage lighting makes his hair look soooo much more yellow rather than his fair blond in the sunlight

13. Italy(September 10th-13th):

This transitional growing period is not my fav, just the way his hair sweeps in is funny

14. Singapore(September 24th-27th):

Looking particularly blond this weekend!! His hair is just very light and pretty

15. Japan(October 1st-4th):

I think most of these are from post-quali and for good reason; I love the way it looks like he has highlights in all the bottom pics

16. Brazil(October 15th-18th):

I love his scruffiness from this weekend!!! The scruffy stubble is sooooooo!!!

17. Abu Dhabi(October 29th-November 1st):

Pretty cute I think but yeah like nothing can really compete with his hair length in 2010 for me so I look at these and I'm like, ooooo growing longer!!

Conclusion: I think it's fun to get to see the process of someone's hair growing out. I've noticed that a lot of men with short hair get very consistent haircuts to keep their hair generally the same length, and I think that's so boring!! I think it's great to grow out your hair for a few months time because you get to see yourself at all the different stages and experiment with all kinds of different looks! So yeah, props to Seb for serving all kinds of looks this season!!

Also it's always interesting to me how much hair length/style and facial hair can change a person's look, but particularly how old/young they look. Like when he shaved his his head, it made him look so young. But in Brazil for example, with the longer hair and scruffy facial hair, he def looks older!

And of course, let me know which you like the best :D My favorite is Jerez <3

#i need a tag for posts like these which is just: #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion(not deranged) #this is mainly just ref for me #and for people like me who feel the urge to be ultra specific in everything they create #hope this was interesting for people who are not just me!! #i love how I originally foolishy tried to make this in one night. so naive..... #okay anyways posts i wanna make in this same vein: #more seb hair guides obv(guys idk if you knew but im very normal abt his hair) #id like to try and categorize all his 2009 and 2010(and before) helmets since theyre not on his website and i love them a lot #this would take a horrendous amnt of time but id love to try and make a guide of all nando's facial hair(hes had so many wild ones okay) #and then i wanna rate all the rbr race suits bcs i think about them *so often* and i have many thoughts #sebastian vettel #sv5 #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #catie.rambling.txt #we do a little bit of f1 #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

[girlkomaeda]

thinking about replaying all the danganronpa games and reading more of the novels and spin offs n stuff…

#I’m always thinking about komahina and komaeda but it’s been a while since I was actively into danganronpa itself… I’m feeling the urge now #honestly I never finished dr3 anime because I didn’t like it 😭😭😭I know everything that happens in it I just never finished the last 4 episo #bc I got ultra depression and couldn’t watch anything for a while when I was 15 #I did actually like most of dr3 but there were like just a few things I didn’t like #I don’t remember why so I’m curious if I’ll feel differently about it now. I also didn’t like some of komaedas characterization #I liked most of komaedas characterization but I also felt like they used him for fan service too much. not talking about the shower scene #that was just funny and awesome. I love komaeda sexualization #I remember not liking him blowing the gym up or whatever bc I felt like it was more fan service than anything. but that’s just my opinion #and it’s been so long so maybe when I rewatch it I’ll feel differently who knows #I just felt like thag part was kind of silly and didn’t make much sense. it felt like just fanswrbeice like here’s Komaeda blowing somethin #up like ok thanks. I guess. like it’s not even completely out of character really I just didn’t like it #also honestly I got so into komaeda at some point that seeing him made me feel ill I can’t explain it. like I got sick seeing people talk #about him or make videos about him or mention him… it was crazy #even now I still get stressed out to an unreasonable degree when people from my pov mischaracterize him or stray too far from my specific #headcanons like it’s not super healthy LOL but I think I’m allowed to be super insane about at least one gay anime boy ok #I’m better at recognizing when I’m being unreasonable now though… I respect some different interpretations… sometimes #damn this ramble paragraph might be proof that i should not get actively back into danganronpa itself

[rorykillmore]

so today is @tailsthesales  and as a birthday fic he requested a piece fitting tails into a transformers au!  so. i gave it my best shot. imagining tails & co as autobots was actually EXTREMELY fun. this is idw-verse (fitting, i figure,) aaaand takes place directly after the dark cybertron arc where shockwave has almost destroyed all of reality, just for a point of reference.

so happy birthday, giz!!! i know we are all experiencing some rocky times right now, but i hope you manage to enjoy it. <3  you have been such a consistently warm and engaging presence in my life in all the time we’ve been friends and co-admins, and i endlessly appreciate how quick you are to support my ideas and encourage my writing. hopefully this fic serves to do the same for yours, because i can’t WAIT to see more of tails in the future!!

“Ha. Sonic? Slow down? The war may be over, the universe may have almost ended, and Megatron may be an Autobot, but some things still are never gonna change.”

“Alright, alright, alright. Head count. Everyone sit down for a head count.” Rodimus raises his voice to be heard over the crowds, and seems... honestly, rather taken aback when people actually listen. “...Okay, one: wasn’t expecting that to work. Two: there are way too many of you to actually count, so nevermind.”

Tails actually hears Knuckles snort.  “And this is what happens when you slap ‘Prime’ on the end of your name and call yourself a leader.”

“Hey, come on, cut him some slack,” Sonic says, astoundingly cheerful for someone who is presently laid out on a portable operating slab. But then, he’s always been unflinching about putting his life in Tails’ hands.  “He did just help save the universe.”

“We all did,” Knuckles grumbles.

“I don’t see too much damage,” Tails reports, trying to distract them both with some good news.  “That Ammonite’s shot totally missed your transformation cog, which is great! This coulda got ugly.”

“Have I told you lately how much I love your bedside manner?” Sonic chuckles, looking up at him. “But thanks, Tails. Close me up and lets get back out there! I’m sure there’s a lot of injured Autobots who could still use our help.”

The three of them - as Ratchet, the medic Tails looks up to most, once said - make quite a team.  Sonic is a racer-turned-Autobot-frontliner who likes to play the hero nearly as often as Rodimus does (Tails supposes that might be why he’s so quick to defend him), Knuckles is an ex-Wrecker who joined up with them during his quest to lead a life with less... well, wreckage (not that they always avoid it), and Tails himself is a helicopter bot and a medic who just recently completed his training. Together, they form Team Sonic (after some mild debate between Sonic and Knuckles -- which Tails had stayed out of, because he just didn’t think “Team Tails” had the same ring to it), and they’ve stuck together since even after the war officially ended.

Tails definitely isn’t complaining. They’re stronger together -- and war or no war, the universe still needs their help! 

...As recently evidenced by, uh, Shockwave trying to destroy it. Thank Primus they all got out of that one okay, Sonic’s minor interior injuries aside. 

He closes Sonic up once everything is back in working order, and predictably, the former racer is back on his feet in an instant. Tails has never exactly known him to be the patient type.

“Try and take it easy for a little while, just in case,” he warns gently regardless.

Knuckles barks out a laugh.  “Ha. Sonic? Slow down? The war may be over, the universe may have almost ended, and Megatron may be an Autobot, but some things still are never gonna change.”

“Megatron is a... what?”  Tails turns to him, optics bright with disbelief, certain he must have misheard. Even Sonic stops dead in his tracks, waiting for the punchline.

Knuckles shrugs, almost uncomfortably. “Just a rumor that’s going around.”

Tails has to admit, it’s not a very plausible rumor. The feared leader of the Decepticons? The guy with the body count in the billions? An Autobot?

Sonic crosses his arms. “Unbelievable. People will say anything.”

“Everyone here accounted for?” Ultra Magnus’s voice booms above them as his rounds finally bring him to their group. Tails straightens up instinctively and gives Magnus a quick salute for good measure, since, well. That’s the kind of thing Magnus appreciates.

“Yes sir! Sonic had a gunshot wound, but it wasn’t serious.”

“Tails patched me right up, as per usual,” Sonic asserts, giving Tails a quick, confident smile that has Tails beaming back at him.

Ultra Magnus seems satisfied by that report.  “Very good. Listen,”  He pauses, turning to scrutinize Tails specifically, and Tails goes still.  “Optimus wants to speak to you.”

There’s a moment of silence as the three of them take that in.

“Prime?” Knuckles finally and impulsively blurts out.

Ultra Magnus gives him a deadpan look in response.  “Do you know another Optimus?”

None of them do, of course, but Tails can’t help but share in Knuckles’ confusion. Why would Optimus Prime want to speak to him? If there’s a de facto leader of their little team, it’s Sonic, after all. 

But when he turns to meet his friend’s gaze, Sonic is staring somberly but encouragingly back at him, and Tails takes heart in his silent show of support. He turns back to Magnus carefully.  “Er, sure, Ultra Magnus. Sure thing. Um -- now?”

“Whenever you have a moment.”  Ultra Magnus ticks their names off on his datapad and starts to move on.  Then he pauses, glancing shortly over his shoulder. “I wouldn’t keep him waiting.”

Tails is pretty sure Magnus didn’t mean for that to sound as ominous as it did. A good sixty percent of what comes out of Magnus’ mouth is, notoriously, unintentionally ominous just by virtue of him having absolutely no sense of humor (not that Tails would ever say that to his face). He looks back at his friends again. Knuckles shrugs, and Sonic gives him a thumbs up.

“You guys’ll be okay?” Tails still asks just to make sure.

“Golden,” Sonic assures him.  “Go on and see what the big guy wants. We’ll wait for you.”

Tails takes heart in knowing he doesn’t have to question that for a second.

When he finds Optimus, though, he looks more... harrowed, somehow, than Tails expected. Maybe it’s just that Tails is used to him looking so unshakable, though comparatively, Optimus still looks a lot less shaken than the rest of them. It makes Tails wonder what really did happen with Megatron.

Then again... the battle hadn’t been easy on any of them. It’s not a stretch to say that there’s probably not an unshaken ‘bot among them.

“Sir?” Tails greets, standing to respectful attention none the less.  “You wanted to see me?”  

“Yes, Tails. Thank you for lending me a few moments of your time.  I know you must want to be with your team right now.”  Optimus pauses, and Tails tries not to waver under his scrutiny.  “Are they all alright?”

“We’ve had worse scrapes, sir!” Tails assures him, and then winces a little, because that makes all the lives that have just been lost seem horribly trivial.  “ -- I just mean! We were lucky, this time. Sonic got shot, but I patched him right up.”

Optimus nods slowly.  “Ratchet tells me he commends you on your medical skill.”

It takes a second for that to sink in.  “Commends -- ?”  Tails stumbles over his own words.  Ratchet? The Ratchet?  The Autobots’ most famous and accomplished medic?  If-Tails-Had-A-Hero-Besides-Sonic-Himself Ratchet?   

“Oh,” is all he ends up saying,and he winces immediately and tries to amend:  “Wow. That’s... quite an honor, sir.”

“Well, he isn’t one to give out easy praise.”  Optimus’ tone sounds a little warmer now.  “Which is why I had... hoped to ask you for a favor.”

Name it,  Tails wants to say,  whatever you need!  But, he reminds himself, that’s not exactly his call to make.  Sonic is the de facto leader of their team, and even if Tails was to act individually, he... wouldn’t want to do it without consulting his friends. Still. To even be asked, by Optimus Prime no less, is...

It’s...

“What is it?” Tails asks, focused and somber.

Optimus barely hesitates, in a way most ‘bots wouldn’t recognize, in a way Tails only just manages to catch.  “The war may be over. Shockwave may be gone, and the threat he posed along with him, but... I fear there are dangerous days yet to come.”

It’s not exactly reassuring. Tails represses the urge to shift his weight nervously. Is there some lingering threat Optimus is still worried about... ?

“Will you stay here on Cybertron?”  Optimus finishes his request finally.  “At least for the duration of Megatron’s trial?”

“Megatron is -- going on trial?” Tails blurts out before he can stop himself. Again, he thinks back to Knuckles’ rumor.

“He says he plans on pleading guilty. If that proves true... it won’t be a long one.”

The list of Megatron’s crimes is so immeasurably extensive that Tails understands the worry of the alternative. To contest each and every charge could take years.

And, after all, it’s Megatron.  It’s not unreasonable to wonder if he has something else up his sleeve.

“But want to account for every possibility, in the meantime,” Tails provides, nodding to himself.

“At the very least, some of the Decepticons won’t stand for it. Ratchet wants as many medics on standby as possible. And... I wanted to request you specifically.”   

Tails’ spark feels like it’s fizzling in his chest.  “...Why?”

“Because you’ve held onto your kindness, all this time,” Optimus replies heavily.  “And I think we’re about to need a lot of that.”

It should make Tails swell with pride. But for a moment, it only makes him sad. What will become of them now, their kind, who have only ever known war with one another for millions and millions of years? 

But whatever the future holds, Optimus needs him today.  Resolutely, Tails answers, “I’ll have to ask my team. I dunno what the plan was, as far as staying on Cybertron goes, but... if Sonic thinks we’re needed here, I’m sure he won’t say no.”

“Thank you. Even just for considering the request,” Optimus’ gratitude is resolute, and Tails can’t help but smile in response.  “You know where to find me, whenever you’ve made your decision.”

“We won’t keep you waiting long,” Tails promises, and giving him a wave, turns to make his way back to his friends. In a way, maybe it’s a good thing they already have another mission ahead of them.  Primus knows none of them have ever been the type to stand still.

#fic #also: tails is a medic because i figured that'd be a good translation of his mechanic skills #if he were. you know. a robot. who works on other robots.

[gdelgiproducer]

What’s been your favorite staged version of JCS? (Non-concert)

First, a list of the staged (non-concert) versions of JCS I’ve seen: two high school productions (about which you’ll hear nothing in this post; it’s unfair to judge them in competition with pros), the closing performance of the 2000 Broadway revival, two performances of the national tour that followed said revival (one of which featured Carl Anderson as Judas and Barry Dennen – Pilate on the original album, Broadway, and in the 1973 film – as Herod), and four performances of a national tour initially billed as Ted Neeley’s “farewell” engagement in the role of Jesus. In total, discounting the number of performances of each, five productions, only three of which we will consider here.

The 2000 Broadway revival had basically all the problems of the video of the same production: I’m sure Gale Edwards is a fine director of other shows, but she missed the boat with this particular iteration of JCS. (Not having seen her original production at the Lyceum Theatre in 1996, which unfortunately never left that venue and was reportedly far better than the one that went wide, I can only comment on this version.) Her direction and the production design that accompanied it were full of the kinds of blatant, offensively obvious attempts at symbolism and subtlety that appeal only to pseudo-intellectual theater kids. In real life, there’s no such thing as obvious good vs. obvious evil (things just ain’t black and white, people), and any attempt to portray this concept on stage or in a film usually results in a hokey “comic book” product, which is kind of what the 2000 production was. 

The first thing Edwards did was draw her line in the sand. “These are the good guys, and these are the bad guys.” The overall production design played into this ‘line in the sand’ feel as well, being so plain in its intentions as to almost beat you over the head with them. There may have been some good concepts mixed in, but for a show that runs on moral ambiguity, they were very poorly executed and did damage to the piece. Some examples:

Annas and Caiaphas were devoutly “evil,” seemingly designed to inspire fear.  It’s easy to see good as so very good, and bad as so very bad; to want to have the evil in a nice little box. But it’s not that simple. As Captain Jean-Luc Picard (and now you know where my Star Trek loyalties lie, curse you!) once said, “…villains who twirl their mustaches are easy to spot. Those that clothe themselves in good deeds are well camouflaged.”  Evil isn’t always a clear and recognizable stereotype. Evil could be lurking inside anyone, maybe even in you, and you would never know. People aren’t inherently evil. Like good, it’s a role they grow and live into. And since history is basically a story of the developments and actions of humans over the ages, maybe it’s a mistake to view the characters who’ve played their parts in it so one-dimensionally. It doesn’t dismiss the evil they did, but it does allow one to understand that this potential to be good or to be evil is in everyone, and that it’s not always as simple as just doing the right thing.

Judas was an almost thoroughly unlikable prick (though Tony Vincent played him a tiny bit more sympathetically than Jerome Pradon in the video); in beating Jesus over the head with his cynicism and curt remarks, any sense of a fully three dimensional person was lost, leaving us with a total, utter dickhead. If the audience is to truly feel for Judas, and appreciate his fall, it’s imperative for them to see his positive relationship with Jesus. More importantly, it has to be readily apparent. It shouldn’t be the audience’s responsibility to assume as much. I never once saw any love, or even a hint of friendship, between Jesus and Judas in the 2000 production. Judas’ interactions with Jesus were a constant barrage of either completely in-your-face aggression, or more restrained (but still fully palpable) aggression. No hint of a conflict in him, or at least none the audience could see, and what use is a conflict or emotion if the audience isn’t privy to it?

And when not telegraphing an ultra-specific view of the story’s events, everything else about the design would’ve left a first-time viewer befogged. Young me liked the industrial, post-apocalyptic, pseudo-Gotham City atmosphere of the set. Older me still likes it (though I am firm in my opinion it works best on stage), but realizes what a mess the rest of it was. We’ve got Jesus and the apostles straight out of Rent, Roman guards that looked (with the choice of riot gear) like an army of Darth Vader clones with nightsticks substituting for light sabers, priests that practically stepped off the screen from The Matrix, a Pilate in generic neo-Nazi regalia, a Herod with showgirls and chorus boys that seemed to have visited from a flash-and-trash third-rate Vegas spectacular, a Temple full of ethnic stereotypes and a mish-mosh of dime-store criminals, and a creepy mob with a striking resemblance to The Addams Family that only popped up in the show’s darker moments. Lots of interesting ideas which might work (operative word being “might”) decently in productions of their own, all tossed in to spice up a rather bland soup. The solution to having a bunch of conflicting ideas is not to throw all of them at the wall at once; you look for a pattern to present itself, and follow it. If no pattern emerges from the ideas you have, it’s a sign you should start over.

You can see what my basic issue was: where other productions at least explored motivation, examining possibilities and presenting conflicting viewpoints for consideration, the 2000 production (when not utterly confused in its storytelling thanks to conflicting design) blatantly stated what it thought the motivation was without any room for interpretation – this is who they are, what they did, why they did it, so switch off your brain and accept what we put in front of you. Which, to me, is the total opposite of what JCS is about; it didn’t get famous for espousing that view, but for going totally against the grain of that.

The national tour at least had Carl and Barry to recommend for it the first time around, but for all the mistakes it corrected about the 2000 revival (swapping out the shady market in the Temple for a scene where stockbrokers worshiped the almighty dollar, with an electronic ticker broadcasting then-topical references to Enron, ImClone, and Viagra, among others, was a fun twist, and, for me, Barry Dennen gave the definitive performance of Herod), it introduced some confusing new ones as well:

For one, Carl – and, later, his replacement, Lawrence Clayton – looked twice the age of the other actors onstage. Granted, Christ was only 33 when this happened, but next to both Carl and Clayton, Eric Kunze (I thankfully never caught his predecessor) looked almost like a teenager. When Ted and Carl did the show in the Nineties and both were in their fifties, they were past the correct ages for their characters, but it worked – in addition to their being terrific performers and friends in real life whose chemistry was reflected onstage – because they were around the same age, so it wasn’t so glaring. Without that dynamic, the way Jesus and Judas looked together just seemed weird, and it didn’t help anyone accept their relationship.

Speaking of looking weird together, the performer playing Caiaphas – who was bald, and so unfortunately resembled a member of the Blue Man Group thanks to the color of lighting frequently focused on the priests – was enormously big and tall, while the actor in the role of Annas was extremely short. Basically, Big Guy, Little Guy in action. Every time I saw them onstage, I had to stifle the urge to laugh out loud. I’ve written a great deal about how Caiaphas and Annas are not (supposed to be) the show’s villains, but that’s still not the reaction I should have to them.

The relentlessness of pace was ridiculous. It was so fast that the show, which started at 1:40 PM, was down by 3:30 PM – and that included a 20-minute intermission. What time does that leave for any moments to be taken at all? A scene barely even ended before the next began. At the end of the Temple scene, Jesus threw all the lepers out, rolled over, and there was Mary singing the “Everything’s Alright” reprise already. How about a second to breathe for Mary to get there? Nope. How about giving Judas and Jesus two seconds’ break in the betrayal scene at Gethsemane? The guards were already grabbing Christ the minute he was kissed. I was so absolutely exhausted towards the end of the show that I was tempted to holler at the stage to please slow down for a minute. The pace didn’t allow for any moment in the show to be completed, if it was ever begun; it was just too fast to really take advantage of subtle touches and moments the actors could’ve had, and as a result, I think they were unable to build even a general emotional connection, because one certainly didn’t come across.

The cast was uniformly talented singing-wise, with excellent ranges and very accomplished voices. (In fact, the second time around, the woman understudying Mary, Darlesia Cearcy, walked away with the whole show in my opinion, and I am incredibly glad to have seen her career take off since then.) But, in addition to some being more concerned with singing the notes on the page just because they were there than imbuing them with emotion and motivation, the cast was undercut by the choices that production made with the music. For one, there’s a huge difference between singing “words and notes” and singing “lyrics and phrases.” When you have a phrase like “Ah, gentlemen, you know why we are here / We’ve not much time, and quite a problem here…” you sing the sentence, and if sometimes a word needs to be spoken, you do that. You don’t make sure you hit every single note by treating each like a “money note” (which you hit and hold as long as you can to make sure everyone hears it), dragging out the tempo to hang on to each note as long as you can. Generally, the actors were so busy making sure every note was sung – and worse, sung like a money note – that they missed the point of singing a phrase, and how to use one to their advantage. Caiaphas and Pilate were particularly egregious offenders. (I’ve never understood some of these conductors who are so concerned that every note written has to be sung. The result suffers from it.) 

And then there’s Ted’s production. Of the three, it’s the one I liked the most, but that’s not saying much when it was better by default. 

The production design was stripped-down, the set basically limited to a bridge, some steps, a stage deck with some levels, and a couple of drops (and a noose) that were “flown in.” The costumes were simple, the sound was very well-balanced, and the lighting was the icing on the cake. Combined, the story they told was clear.

The music sounded very full, considering the pit consisted of a five-piece band relying in part on orchestral samples.

Ted, for being of advanced age, was in terrific form vocally, if his acting fell back a little much on huge, obvious, emotive gestures and choices. (I love him and all, but his attempts at acting were kind of like a “Mr. Jesus” pageant, striking all the appropriate Renaissance poses. The film, through editing and close-ups, allows him a subtlety he just ain’t got onstage.)

And there were some beautiful stage pictures; for example, there was a drop with an image of a coin with Caesar’s head on it in the Temple scene, and it fell on the crowd when Jesus cleared out the riff-raff. In the leper sequence that followed, the chorus’ heads popped out of holes in the cloth, under which they undulated, pulsing to the beat, and rather than being treated as a literal mob scene, the sequence had a very dream-like effect, a mass of lost souls reaching out to Christ. It was rather like a Blake painting, with a creepy vibe in a different manner from the typical “physically overwhelm him” approach. He didn’t interact with them, didn’t even turn to look at them, until finally he whipped around with a banishing thrust of his arm, hollering “Heal yourselves!” Sometimes it was over-acted with annoying character voices (remember, I saw this four times), but when it wasn’t, the effect was chilling.

My main beef with the show was, oddly enough, on a similar line to my beef with Gale Edwards’ production: it drew lines in the sand. But in this case, it drew them with respect to Jesus’ divinity. 

As written, JCS deals with Jesus as if he were only a man, and not the Son of God. The show never suggests that Jesus isn’t divine, but neither does it reinforce the view that he is. Portrayed in detail in JCS is the mostly-unexplored human side: ecstasy and depression, trial and error, success and regret. He agonizes over his fate, is often unsure of his divinity, and rails at God. Not so in this production. Aside from “The Temple” and “Gethsemane,” there was never any room for doubt that Jesus was the mystical, magic man portrayed in the Gospels.

At the top of the show, after a fight between his followers and the Romans during the overture (a popular staging choice I’m not a real fan of, but you’ve got to do something during that moment in a fully staged version, and I understand why it’s an easy choice to make for exposition purposes), Jesus made his majestic entrance, spotlit in robes that looked whiter than Clorox bleach could produce, and raised a man from the dead. Well, where’s the room for Judas to doubt? Clearly “this talk of God is true,” we just saw it! If this guy is actually capable of performing miracles, and more than that specializes in necromancy, good luck telling him that fame has gone to his head at the expense of the message and he’s losing sight of the consequences! Try explaining to anyone that that person is “just a man”!

If that weren’t enough, Jesus went on to have a constant connection with God throughout the show, speaking to a spotlight that focused only on him and often served to distract him from anything else happening onstage, and at the end, during “John 19:41,” his body separated from the cross, which fell back into the stage, and he ascended to heaven. 

Now, though the former was admittedly played to excess (some reviewers unkindly compared Neeley to a homeless man with Bluetooth), there are arguments to be made in favor of both of these choices: a Jesus who constantly seeks a connection with God that isn’t reciprocated, searching for guidance or at least a friggin’ clue, is great foreshadowing for his eruption – and acceptance – in “Gethsemane.” As for the ascension, depending on how it’s staged, there’s room for argument that it could be interpreted more metaphorically than literally, as the moment when Jesus’ spirit is born, as Carl Anderson once put it (meaning, to me, that his message is given life and strength when his body fails him). But this production didn’t have that level of shading and layers to it, and coupled with the resurrection at the start, it defeated the rest of the story.

None of ‘em’s perfect, and I don’t think I could create the perfect one. Thus, concert.

#AMA

[aquosevolved]

🖊 Pineapple Sushi kids

Ah, yes. Time to finally reveal these rascals. If I had the foresight to bring my sketchbook with me to Ohio, maybe I would have finally done some concept art after getting this. This is going to be in bullet point format since I don’t feel like doing my ultra flowing descriptions.

Other relevant ships in these following headcanons are Azurrin and LeoSaku. Anything left unspecified is left to reader interpretation because I…kind of don’t give a shit about, like, 60% of the Nohrian and Hoshidan royals. 

Lilith-specific Kiragi headcanons + General Headcanons

Kiragi has Lilith’s hair without the fade to red

Excited to be a big brother. Kind of reckless so he’s not a very good influence but he’s so kind and earnest that it kind of balances out

As a consequence of being a dragon, Lilith!Kiragi is a lot testier and more stubborn than any other possible version of himself but those are by no means defining personality traits.

All very close in age. Kiragi is 2 years older than Tabitha who’s 3 years older than Suzanoh who’s 1 year older than Yoru

Everyone has Valla Prince(ss) (which is functionally identical to Nohr Prince(ss)) and its promotion Valla Noble (Swords, Dragonstones, & Lances) as their reclass option

Tabitha (2nd oldest)

She’s short. Very short. Like, shorter than me short, which is short as hell.

Has pinkish-red hair, like a combination of Aunt Sakura and Aunt Hinoka.

Has gold eyes like Lilith

Tends to be a worrywart and feels responsible for keeping her brothers out of trouble

Better at wrangling her idiot brothers than most people (only people better are their parents and Uncle Corrin)

Very much a bookworm and loves learning. 

Those last two things combined make her Uncle Leo’s favorite. 

Good leadership skills. Looks up to Uncle Corrin and Aunt Azura a lot, more than her brothers with the former.

Dark Mage is her default class (except her outfit’s actually sensible) and Dark Knight is her canon promotion

Out-of-universe naming convention was wanting something Biblical/Abrahamic to go along with Lilith

No in-universe naming convention yet

Suzanoh (3rd oldest)

The tallest. Not saying much as his parents are both pretty short but he’s at least taller than both of them and his siblings.

Dark brown hair like Uncle Ryoma and his paternal grandfather

Also has gold eyes like Lilith

Super serious on the outside. Developed a “no nonsense” personality even as a child

Frequent urge to cause mischief despite being so serious

A more subtle troll you will never meet

Really good with numbers and logical thinking. Good with tactics and logistics.

Monk is his default class and Great Master is his canon promotion

In-universe naming convention is after one of Takumi’s ancestors, the namesake of the Great Wall of Suzanoh

Out-of-universe naming convention is after Susanoo, the Shinto storm god

Yoru (Youngest) (aside from some Silver Scale OCs, he’s my most developed OC by no small margin)

Is also short, but taller than his sister

Platinum blonde/near white hair like Uncle Corrin

Has brown eyes like Takumi

Is a total Mama’s Boy

Very quiet and introverted. Even in the company of people he’s close to, he can go literal hours without saying a word.

Very timid. Scared of pretty much everything. Grows out of his fear eventually but he’s still a bit timid as a teenager/adult

Oddly enough, despite being afraid of so many things, he really likes bugs.

Looks up to Aunt Azura more than his siblings.

Takes singing lessons from Aunt Azura but she’s one of the handful of people he’ll actually let hear his singing 

Ridiculously high emotional intelligence and is really good at helping other people with their emotional problems.

Is a non-combatant. But, hypothetically, his default class would be Ninja and Master Ninja would be his canon promotion.

In-universe naming convention is that he was born in the middle of the night under a full moon and Lilith wanted his name to be symbolic of that

Out-of-universe naming convention is that Yoru means night.

#asks #galator13 #Fates #LiliTaku #Lilikumi #Pineapple Sushi #Kiragi #Tabitha #Suzanoh #Yoru

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

warning; long text ahead!

Okay so I usually don't do this sort of thing (i'm used to taking commissions for smut writing usually, reacts are kinda new), but I did say id write a little something to whoever guessed the ship I was talking about earlier, even if i was kidding.  @mfimagine16 asked; “Could I get Rodimus, Drift, Cyclonus, Perceptor and Minimus reacting to f s/o getting really badly hurt?” (they added Rung later in the conversation) so, let's get this started. I really hope you like it winner! (note; they were not specific on bot or human, so assume human SO unless stated otherwise)

Rodimus (MTMTE);  

It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. You were always the perfect power duo, him being your super speedster and you being his dynamite gal. so when you try to toy with the enemies and their attacks, only to be met with a blast to the shoulder, causing you to go down with your hand clutching firmly to your bleeding wound, time stops for Roddy.

He drops everything and scoops you up in his arms. He doesn't even realize he's gathered a few hits on himself in his rescue mission to come after you. Everything turns to white noise around him. He's seen you bleed before, each time over you tripping on the lost lights floor, or you getting a papercut, but this was a lot for him. Human blood was so deep in color, it was enough to almost put him off red for good. Magnus is yelling at him, but all he can hear is his own thoughts. ‘Red’. he immediately drives back on board the ship and has Ratchet inspect you. Magnus pulls the team back, deciding the risk of more wounded did not outweigh the energon the team would have gathered from the nearby mine, found on this planet.

Rodimus is a mess when Ratchet takes you away from him and demands space. He's pacing back and forth, not even letting Magnus’s scolding get to him. Primus, he didn't even notice he was in trouble until Magnus stopped his pacing. Rodimus couldn't fight the urge to dig his face into that comforting bust.

When he's finally allowed back in, he almost knocks down medical supplies in his hurry. He sees you, weary and groggy from blood loss, but alright, all patched up. Your okay. He immediately holds your tiny hand and smiles, using his shoulder to wipe his face clean. Funny, he didn't remember his face getting wet. You ask him about this and he just scoffs. “Me? I'm good, totally. I was just upset because you practically let yourself get hit. Hurt my pride that your my idol when your that easy to take down.”

Rodimus plays it cool for the longest time. It's not until Ratchet gives the okay for you to leave, that he lets you know that he was scared. Don't make him regret it, he barely opens up to anyone, let alone someone he thinks is so cool. He’ll check up on you plenty, and when your alone with him, is on you like a lost puppy. In public, he’ll brag about your wound, even make up some grand story about it. He’s a leader, he can't be seen moping around, even if he has a good reason for it.

Conclusion; very worried boy, you two need to assure one another, else things start to have a major imbalance.

Drift (MTMTE);

Drift has had a hard knock life. And since you've established that you haven't had it very easy yourself, he's grown very close to you. Hes helped you, you've comforted him. He's been your rock, and you've been his foundation. You two work so well together, it tends to freak some others out, just a little.

You are also one of the few that has comforted him about his past, that what he did then, does not contribute to what he does now. You tell him,”you used to hurt people. But now, you don't. Like me, you could never hurt me”. And for a very long time, this has been a comfort to him. Up until one day in training. He's in his holoform to help you train, same as always. You tell him you are more than ready for his more sturdier offensive moves. He's unsure, given that Megatron himself taught him the said aggressive maneuver, but you say you're sure. He strikes, just as he would any foe, and hurts you.

Even his holoform, Drift is very formidable, and more combat ready than you. Too combat ready, given that his strike hurt you bad enough to break your arm. When you scream, he finds himself having flashes of the past. Screams of mercy, the sound of blade slicing through metal, the sound of tearing. Oh you made such an ugly snap sound when he broke your arm, he hated that he had a new sound to add to that memory bank. Trying to stay calm but failing, he gets back into his bot form and drives off to medbay with you.

Ratchet kicks him out, exiling him to the waiting room. He waits on the floor, trying desperately to meditate and use his breathing exercises. His chi is so out of whack, which only leads him to more stress. He only finds some salvation when ratchet lets him back in to see you, nearly an hour later. Your arm is all done up in a neat cast, and Ratchet explains how he has to help you keep it dry and intact while it heals. He nods, focusing on every word. He takes you back into his room right after, and tries to make tea. He drops his cups, spills hot energon on himself. You have to tell him to come over to you before he damn near gives himself metal burn.

Once he's with you, he tries to say sorry in any manner possible, that he knows he shouldn't be touching you, much less being rough with you and-

You have to shut him up with a kiss. You have to tell him it's okay. Until you fully heal, you need to keep a close eye on him. No matter how many times you assure him, he feels terrible, and will try to find himself back on stimulants. He has long since kicked the habit, but knowing he hurt you, something so precious and forgiving and pure, it broke him. Thankfully you have him do so many things to help you heal, that he doesn't have the time to go find some stimulants.

Conclusion; he will wait on you constantly, but you need to do the same for him.

                Cyclonus (MTMTE);

Cyclonus has his plate full with Tailgate as is. When you join the mix, hes pretty much a babysitter. Not that he minds it, your just as innocent and devoted as Tailgate is, while simultaneously being very different from the sweet little marshmallow. He protects you with the same overbearingness he does with Tailgate. Don't think this saves you from insults however, he too, will make fun of your face if he is given the chance.

With the three of you living together in the same room, with you being so small and frail, challenges are expected to arise, which he was well aware of. What he wasn't aware of, was Whirl coming over one day and manhandling you, trying to make a fleshie joke. Which causes him to accidentally let you go, and promptly plummet to the floor. From a height of about ten feet. Cyclonus, stoic faced, pushes Whirl aside and comes to your aid. When you claim you can't move without pain, he snaps his fingers for Tailgate to follow him to medbay. Ratchet takes you from him, and they both sit in the waiting room, Cyclonus with his arms folded, cross legged on the floor, letting Tailgate get some panic out of his system. After thirty minutes however, he grabs the small minibot, and pulls him to his lap. “You panicking will not help her. Relax.”

This is a huge part of him assuring Tailgate, as well as himself. Tailgate falls asleep in his lap, given that they've waited for four hours, and Cyclonus merely scoops him up in one arm as ratchet calls him in. turns out, you broke two of your ribs, as well as your left arm. Good thing your right handed. Cyclonus nods stoically at Ratchets instructions to care for you, and scoops you up in his other hand. Once he's into the room, he sets you down into your little bed they had put in for you, and Tailgate into their recharging slab. He asks if you feel any pain at the moment, and when you assure him that you are just fine, he nods. “Do not hesitate to wake me up if you need something. Anything at all. Even if you need to bother me to talk, primus knows Tailgate does so already.”

While you recover, he dotes on you, but does not coddle you. He doesn't want you to feel helpless, and he often has to remind Tailgate to do the same. You two have to be careful when he leaves the room, he will hunt down Whirl and beat the scrap out of him. Rodimus and Ultra Magnus has troubles keeping him behaved when the cyclops is in the same room as he is, and already tore off one of his gun titties. He hurt you, and has yet to even realize what he did wrong to you.

Cyclonus worries about you. But he doesn't pester you with calls when he's out, as he knows you'll call him if your in need. He will force you to take your pain meds and stay in bed as you need. If you try to refuse him, you will be met with the scary lesbian glare. Do not test him.

Conclusion; firm, yet very concerned boyfriend. He's still very angry at Whirls actions, and will act on his aggressions. He cares so much about you, but will use his actions to vocalize it.

           Rung (MTMTE);

Rung has valued you the day he's met you. It's nice to have someone else on board who’s also small, and often easy to forget. Someone who is also caring, someone who’s equally useless as he is. Well, compared to what everyone else does on the lost light anyway. Suffice to say though, you are NOT useless to him. You are his source of comfort, and he is yours. You two make for a wonderful, small pair. It's a comfortable, simple life.

Rung, as sweet of a mech as he is, does have quite a number of enemies and those at his throat. He tries to feel that you are safe, that you are in perfectly capable hands with the little psychiatrist, but he knows better than that. It's why he wasn't very surprised by Fort Max suddenly snapping at the lost light crew, and you, him, and Whirl being held hostage. You and Rung were well aware of Max’s state of mind, (you were just as perceptive as Rung was, and he loved that about you) but it came to a surprise to you both when Max took you in his hand, and clenched. Oh the crack you made, the screams that came from your throat. It shattered the poor bots spark. And all he could do was calmly try to talk Max down, which he succeeded after some time and help, with help from Rewind. Course you didn't go without being squished a few more times like some toy.

By the time Max was peacefully restrained, by the time he was freed from his bounds, you were in tremendous amounts of pain. While Rung was about to dash into medbay for you to receive proper care, this was halted, thanks to a shot from Swerve meant to disable Fortress Maximus that had  instead hit Rung in the head. Skids carried you and Rung to medbay, in a hurry, with Ratchet muttering about how this didn't look good. You were put under some anesthesia to stop the pain, and you watched Rung’s body be carried into another room.

You came to just a bit later to hear that Rung’s service would progress tomorrow, in order to give you a day to heal. You were badly broken, emotionally and physically. It hurt to move, which made sense, given that you broke nearly all your ribs, nearly punctured a lung, and broke both an arm and a leg. It wasn't fair, any of this. Ratchet gave you a sleeping aid later that night to help you sleep. You slept your required eight hours, but you felt exhausted when you came to the next morning. That is, until you heard that by some miracle, Rung had survived. After you were permitted to leave, Rung took you back to his quarters. He was still shaken up, but more over you than himself. He's done his time in life, it'd be no real shame if he perished. He was thankful he didn't, but he was more thankful that you were okay, all things considered.

Rung helps you out in any way he can, bringing you tea, reading you poetry, being someone to listen to you. He's quite worried that this may have given you PTSD or something of the sort, so he always tries to check in on you. He doesn't want you to fear Max, who is desperately trying to make amends for the situation, but he understands if you need him away from you for a while. Rung just wants the best out of a bad situation.

Conclusion; supportive boyfriend, who will talk to you constantly, and is trying far too hard to make everything alright. He has a habit of spreading himself thin, so do try to listen to him whenever he rants. He doesn't do it often, and it makes him feel so much more important when you look at him with those doleful eyes of yours when he speaks.

                    Perceptor (MTMTE);

Preceptor was interested in you the day he met you. For one, you were a human, who he has never seen up close before. Two, you were rather interesting to talk to, given that you actually understood what he was saying (unlike the times he's forced to conversate with Rodimus or Riptide). Three, well, you were a rather cute little creature. It sort of made sense that you two clicked pretty early on, and established a relationship. Even if Percy’s delivery was more factual than romantic, you got the sentiment.

Perceptor knew you were careful in his lab, you werent the one who randomly tried to drink chemicals like Whirl (he claimed that he could ingest things just fine, despite lack of mouth), but he was still careful around you. You were human, who needed air to breathe, needed food for energy, and vitamins to keep everything running. You were so frail compared to his kind. It's why when he was testing the chemical composition for a new material they found on a recent planet, and one that he believed could be used to make an energon substitute, he was aghast at the properties, and by you coughing. He didn't even realize you snuck up on him in a bout of curiosity, and the chemicals were quickly taken in by your lungs. He shouted at Brainstorm to handle the material in his stead (something he never did unless it was urgent), and dashed to medbay, leaving you in capable hands. He was studying human anatomy recently, but he knew he wouldn't be able to care for you. Part of being a scientist was knowing your limitations. He did research while he waited, and tried not to let logic cloud his processor. Some might find him rather emotionless at times, but in reality, he was just very calculative, trying to let fact take over emotions.

You'd be fine, he was fairly certain. Ratchet was capable, humans were usually very sturdy, you weren't exposed to it very long. Yet, Ratchet hadn't studied human anatomy to its fullest, humans have died to rather ridiculous things (he onced read a story of a human who suffocated on powdered sugar getting into his lungs), and he wasn't fully aware of how much toxins a human body could handle. This, and many other factors, led him to calculate a 50-50% chance. Suffice to say he was nervous.

When Ratchet called him back in and claimed that, given events, you were perfectly fine, Perceptor felt at ease. To know that you somehow got hurt thanks to his testing, it made his spark sting in pain. He listened to Ratchets words on how he thought to best care for you, and along with his research, you were on the speedy road to recovery. This didn't mean you were off the hook however, he was cross with you for ignoring so many health protocols when you snuck up on him. He cursed human curiosity and sent you a pdf file on safety. He said to read it over again, but to take your time with it, given recent events. He checks on you every hour or so, but tries to let you rest, well aware that slumber did wonders on humans, and was known to greatly speed up a healing process. Anything to get you to stop having such heavy, strained coughs.

Conclusion; he cares for you as you heal up, but is a bit cross that it happened to begin with. He winces when you cough however, and finds himself giving in to babying you like a little sparkling. He’ll ask you how he's feeling, and actually uses this as a chance to do research, both on human capability, and the chemical makeup of the materials. He didn't put so much energy into researching if it could be used as an energon substitute, especially since it made you so sick.

               Minimus (MTMTE);

Honestly no one saw either of you coming. When you were first on board, you clung mainly to Rodimus. Course Magnus was on you like a strong adhesive due to this, anything in Rodimus life had to go under careful inspection. He was heavily against you at first. You were tiny, easy to kill, a huge weakness, you took too many resources to take care of, they had to install a thing called a bathroom for you to live here. He was tempted to just head to a planet similar to earth and just leave you there, but it went against the Tyrest accord to remove someone from the ship against captain's orders. So there you stayed, much to his displeasure.

It wasn't until you became a huge emotional support for Rodimus that he started realizing how important you were to the ship. You gave him encouragement, and while you often encouraged bad habits (such as pranks and skipping morning meetings), he realized just how much you were needed here. It was to his surprise that he very quickly fell for you. You were kind, and had a zest for life that he admired. It wasn't until you saw all of him that you began to feel the same.

You found Magnus imposing, bossy. When you caught Minimus cleaning his armor in his room, you were pretty shell shocked. You were too stunned to even hear his lectures on privacy and what rules this went against the tyrest accord. It wasn't until you called him cute that he finally shut up, very unsure of how to respond. Some perverts have said suggestive to him in his lifetime, but cute? That was a new one.

It didn't take long for you two to establish a relationship, and even though he didn't smile very much, he showed love by making sure you took care of yourself, taking care of your meals, reminding you to bathe and stay hydrated. It took you quite a while however, to get the point across that you were in love with Minimus, given that it's the real him. It took quite a bit of coaxing to get him out of his armour when you wanted to pull him out of work and have movie night. Magnus was strong, a protector, someone you needed. But you insisted on Minimus, so it was minimus you recieved.

You once told him he could still protect you without the armor on. You have no idea how literal he took that statement. One day, he tried to surprise you at your duties (you did cleaning for certain parts of the ship, which you did wonderfully thanks to your small stature) by showing up as Minimus. To his horror, your leg had caught itself into one of the gears in the engine room. He tried to pull the gears away, but it wasn't enough. It was a task for Magnus, not Minimus, he commed everyone he could while he stayed by your side, not wanting to leave, knowing damn well you'd panic and only injure yourself further. It was twenty minutes before Fort mac showed up, and was able to pry the gears apart, just enough to free you. Minimus was giving a spiel about the slow response time, while simultaneously trying to get you to medbay. Now maybe wasn't the time for him, but he needed some order amongst chaos. He finally got you to medbay, and while you were being treated, he went to his room to get himself back into his amor.

Once you were given the all clear to go to your room, Magnus watched over you constantly. He had a strict schedule to keep you to, and scolded you for getting yourself into such a predicament, and even went so far as to scold you as you dared to ask for Minimus. It was thanks to Minimus that you stayed there for so long. However, you refused to take your medication unless it was given to you by Minimus, so he complied after a week of struggling with you. Everything is prompt, on a routine, with not a single variable different, unless Ratchet called for it.

Conclusion; self conscious, small boyfriend. He takes care of you to the best of his abilities, while simultaneously taking care of his other duties. And when, for whatever reason, he can't watch you, he leaves you in very capable hands (Skids, Percy, someone who can follow written and verbal instructions, someone you felt safe with. Someone who was bigger than himself). It'll be awhile before he feels comfortable out of the armor, and a while for him to believe your okay long after you've healed. Hes strict about your routine, and will not take no for an answer when it comes to you getting medications and rest. Hourly check ups, even well into the night.

#reacts #this is probably pretty bad #but I did put some effort into it #hope its good

[rivetgoth]

Any hot takes on 2001 maniacs (field of screams) that you'd like to share with us mere mortals

Oh I have… so fucking many. Whenever people ask me for 2001 Maniacs headcanons with no specifics I just get lost cuz I SERIOUSLY… DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE EXTENT OF TIME I’VE SPENT THINKING ABOUT 2001 MANIACS………

I’ve been thinking about the timeline of Harper’s life and specifically his struggle with sexuality & shit, the way I see it Ogre kinda implies that his version of Harper seen in Field of Screams is supposed to sort of be an older/more mature version of Giuseppe Andrews’ Harper, kind of combining Giuseppe’s Harper with Stanley Dyrector’s Harper in the original 1964 but like… added homosexuality (and for the record Ogre’s Harper is SO fucking similar to Stanley Dyrector’s Harper, I rewatched the original Two Thousand Maniacs! a few weeks ago and I seriously had forgotten how strong the parallel is, much more than Giuseppe Andrews’ Harper imo - And this makes sense, cuz Ogre said he grew up with the original Two Thousand Maniacs and even remembers when he saw it for the first time as a kid LMAO). So the way I kinda see it is that Giuseppe Andrews’ Harper is a reflection of what “our” Harper was like when he was a kid. Since Giuseppe is considerably younger than Nivek anyway.

Assuming Harper is around Ogre’s real age at the time of filming, which was 46, Harper woulda been born in the late 1810s, for time period context.So I think when Harper was younger, like in his teens into his 20s, he was seriously like, the town black sheep and just so fucking notoriously rebellious, just the worst troublemaker and specifically ladykiller who just flirted with and fucked EVERY girl in town. He’s always loved death, he’s always been a freak, in the comic he was demanding Pleasant Valley go to war before the massacre even happens and is even the one who first fought back against the soldiers who were causing trouble by straight up murdering one by ripping his heart out (again, BEFORE the massacre). I think Harper’s response to being gay in the ultra conservative Deep South of the 1800s was just to repress it and instead go after as many women as possible, and to channel a lot of his feewings into like, murdering animals and stuff cuz he really had no fucking healthy outlet at all for everything he had pent up over the years.

But there had to be, like, an in-between from that Harper and the Harper we see in Field of Screams, and I think the massacre definitely did a number on his mental state but I think there had to be a transition before that to the slightly more respectable, much more charismatic and mature Harper we see in Field of Screams, who’s clearly admired by even the highest ranking members of Pleasant Valley (B- Buckman…). I have this whole headcanon for that that I’ve shared before where I basically think that Harper and Milk Maiden were engaged for awhile… I think that they were really good fwiends and fuckbuddies and like, on and off dating and they were “coworkers” since Milk Maiden would screw around with Harper while he was doing doctor bullshit, and Harper really does genuinely love spending time with Milk Maiden and they have a lot of shared interests (murder) and everyone ever agrees that Milk Maiden is like the sexiest woman ever, so Harper was kinda hoping that it’d get rid of his ~homosexual urges~ if he settled down with Milk Maiden, and in kind of a panic he proposed to her and they got engaged and everyone in Pleasant Valley was soooo happy and just going on about how PERFECT Milk Maiden and Harper were for each other and how Harper was SO LUCKY!!!! and Harper was like kind of terrified cuz as the wedding grew closer he was just. So not feeling it. But he tried to keep his chin up and stay positive!!!1111!!!1 telling himself that this would like finally make him normal :))

And of course being how they are neither of them were waiting till after marriage to fuck LOL and I think one night Milk Maiden just confronted Harper and was like… “We don’t … have to get married. You realize that right.” And Harper fucking panicked and was like WHWHWH AT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHAT?? WHAT??? WHAT???? and Milk Maiden basically like fucking told him that she… knows… If a man isn’t interested in her. And she’s like “I know men well enough to know that if a man isn’t interested in me then he’s not interested in women at all. Harper.” and Harper just vehemently denied that but after relaxing a little bit he did like finally admit that he… maybe wasn’t… ready to settle down yet after all :) And there wasn’t really any bad blood between em because Milk Maiden would much rather not be tied down to someone who isn’t interested in her anyway cuz that means she’s free to just fuck men who actually are into her, so they found a way to kinda call off the engagement in a way that didn’t raise questions and they continued to be good friends / murder buddies / friends with benefits (Ogre said that they still get off together to murder even though Harper doesn’t like having sex with her which is .. I’m not even dissecting that now but that’s what he SAID) so things ended well overall, but it was also a REALLY BIG SCARY TURNING POINT for Harper because, well. It kinda hits him that he was literally in the perfect position to be married to the most beautiful sought after woman in Pleasant Valley who he himself genuinely adores and likes spending time with but…  it wasn’t… enough. To make him feel normal XDD and he still has no fucking interest in women at all. So it was… kind of. really horrific for Harper too.

And I really like this scenario, I’ve given a lot of thought to it cuz not only do I think it creates more depth to Harper and Milk Maiden’s relationship but I think it also really paints them both as… like… adults. It reminds you that they’re adults and that Harper has even come close to straight up marriage and been engaged and all that and idk it’s… good, I like it.

BUT YEAH I FEEL LIKE THAT KINDA SOBERS HARPER UP A LOT AND HE’S FORCED TO REALLY FACE HOW FUCKED UP HE IS and that was .. BEFORE the massacre. After the massacre things go even more downhill, I kind envision that it was the night of the massacre that made Buckman really come to love and admire Harper and see him as a real second in command, because in the comic, after Buckman was murdered that night Harper took over and tried to lead the people of Pleasant Valley away to defend themselves from the soldiers. So Harper took over for Buck and I feel like that really created a bond between Harper and Buckman (they were on good terms before though too, Harper most likely was the one who helped Granny give birth to the kids and I HC that Harper is their godfather but yeah) that obviously “is stronger than death” LOL, but that’s kind of miserable for Harper sometimes cuz it means not only does he have to deal with the misery of being fucking dead and cursed and all that but on top of that after repressing his stupid feelings forever his biggest crush of all time is suddenly constantly complimenting him and depending on him and gushing about how smart and loyal he is and Harper is like.  Burning inside.

And. Speaking of. Burning Inside…. Ministry. Industrial music. Harper canonically (according to Tim Sullivan in the audio commentary) saw Trent Reznor and/or Marilyn Manson and fell in love and wanted to be just like them and steal their looks (a joke about how Trent and Manson stole Ogre’s looks LOL), which is supposedly why Harper as we see him in Field of Screams is decked out in piercings, black middle part, industrial band tattoos (you can definitely see Ogre’s Process tattoo in multiple shots, for example), etc. That woulda prolly been in the mid-early 90s, when Trent and Manson toured together and Trent had his iconic 90s goth middle part (in fact, they toured together with the band PIG, also very Harper-core for obvious reasons, for the Self Destruct Tour in 1994, IN LATE APRIL, and there was no concert the day of April 22, 1994… or was there?). Industrial music is the gayest music genre as you all should know, and a great place for self expression for stupid gay idiots who love death and blood, so… really really good outlet for Harper :) He’s like over 100 years old and just head over fucking heels for Trent Reznor to cope with being closeted in the Deep South for the last century which is… so… fucking unreal. Hey pig yeah you hey pig piggy pig pig pig!!

So yeah :))))))) Gay rights! -Harper Alexander

#2001 maniacs #ask #soft hooting #anonymous

[funkymbtifiction]

High Ne and long term projects.

Hello, Charity. Being ENFP, how does it factor into running this blog? Did it in any way contribute to its inception?

In the sense that I took an interest in MBTI and started ‘talking about it’ while I was learning about it, yes; I thought typing characters would be a fun way to learn and like a lot of NP’s / intuitives in general, I started off long before I had a substantial knowledge base to work off of. It’s been a continual learning process that has slackened off in my interest in the last couple of years, since I’ve kind of exhausted most of the available resources -- although I am still interested in learning more / hearing about interaction between types, to expand my knowledge.

One of the reasons I started this blog and maintain it is out of the hope that it could educate in a fun way -- that by reading profiles of characters and why / how they think as they do, people might start recognizing patterns in them and come to find their own type in the process. =)

Seems to me you’ve been at this for years, and it occurred to me that you have to deal with answering tons of questions. That must require patience.

Yes, it does, sometimes more than I have to offer (patience is not my strong suit!). And as my interest wanes, my enthusiasm for answering them has also waned -- but sometimes I get a great question that demands a fun or deep answer and that usually fires me up to respond; especially if I feel re-framing something in a new way could help people understand a function better.

And it’s safe to assume you get a lot of similar questions, and about personal problems and such. Does it drain you?

I do, yes.

To be honest, the questions that could be answered by the user doing a simple SEARCH (you can find almost anything on this blog by typing it into Google along with “funkymbti” -- for example, “Stranger Things funkymbti” or “fe vs fi funkymbti or even by using this blog’s very own search engine) I find irritating for obvious reasons. I don’t mind questions because people are always learning and/or discovering the blog, so I do wind up answering some of the same things multiple times in different ways; but sometimes I just point them to a similar answered ask.

I receive a lot of questions about ‘are these two types romantically compatible,’ and I always answer that MBTI has nothing to do with that; two people of the same type are not the same, and unless you’re wondering how to communicate better due to Fe/Fi differences, I can’t answer that, because I don’t know the Enneagram type, the mental health levels, or traumas of the individuals involved. Hence why I urge people not to date or break up depending on MBTI type! (My parents have no functions in common, get along splendidly, and have been married 35+ years, because both are agreeable, mentally healthy people.) Pick someone who makes you a better person, regardless of type. ;)

Does it drain me? If it requires anything other than Ne (abstraction, etc), yes, it can be draining. Coming up with specific examples from my own life is hard -- but I prefer to use them instead of abstract hypothetical situations.

(You have high Fi, so, how do you empathize with issues that don’t resonate with yours?)

I do care very much about people, but I focus more on ‘fixing the problem’ and ‘offering solutions’ than trying to offer emotional reassurances beyond ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that,’ etc. Some people just want to know their type -- others have deep hurts. I’m not a psychologist, so anything I don’t know about, I simply say I don’t know... or I will point them to resources.

I actually do not really like typing people online, since you can get a ‘false’ image of them / may tend to rely on stereotypes a lot, so usually what I do when people ask for help on that front is to further illustrate functions for them / ask them to read different sources, and then will answer questions if they have them / tell them if I get a stronger sense of one function or another. I was mistyped by others online so much, I became rather insecure about it -- so I do not want to make that mistake with anyone else and/or ‘force’ a type onto them.

Does it bore you, or even irk you, perhaps?

Sometimes, yes. I do get tired of answering “what’s the difference between ENFP and INFP?” every couple of weeks. (I think I now have at least 3 pages of comparisons between the two in the enfp x infp tag!) But ... I can also understand how confusing cognition is, how hard it can be to tell the difference between functions, and how hard it can be to decide between two similar types, particularly if you are a shy person or have social anxiety, or an Enneagram type that makes you less risk-taking and/or more risk-taking than is usual for your type. (I go through a minor typing crisis of my own at least once a year, as I debate whether I’m an ENFP or an INFP... so believe me, I GET IT. And it frustrates me if I can’t help you figure out your type; I hate to leave people with as many questions as when they arrived, but people are COMPLICATED, and there are a MILLION factors that go into who you are and why you are the way you are and how your brain works! So there is no ‘quick’ method to MBTI.)

Sometimes, I run in circles with someone and feel like my brain has turned inside out and all the lines between the functions blur until I can’t distinguish them anymore -- and those are the days when I think, “Why the hell are you even doing this?”

What keeps you going?

The thought that out there somewhere may be a person for whom this blog can help, by allowing them to say, “AH, THAT’S WHY I THINK THIS WAY!” I really desperately want people to understand how to communicate with one another -- so even on my worst days, that keeps me from hitting the DELETE button; the idea that out there someone may discover one of these pages and go, “Oh, so that’s why I can’t make my best friend / boyfriend / girlfriend / parent / child understand me! And that’s why they think the way they do!”

Part of this is because I used to fight ALL THE TIME with my ISFJ friend, until we discovered MBTI -- and it explained everything about her, so that I was able to understand why she loves what she loves, and why I couldn’t seem to give her what she needed / wanted from me (Fi/Fe problems) -- and then... we have never had another fight since. Once we ‘got’ each other, that was it. Oh, we still annoy one another a little bit, but I don’t expect anything from her she cannot give and she doesn’t expect ultra-gush from me. I value that so much, the idea that I could help someone else find it, keeps me going.

And have you ever wanted to give it up?

Yep, about once a month at least.

Also, how does sticking to the one topic of MBTI keep your Ne satisfied?

It doesn’t. That’s why I dabble a little in Enneagram / Socionics from time to time, read lots of psychology books, and have a lot of side projects going on in my free time. Although... typing new characters is also kind of fun, especially as I wonder what kind of response they may generate (how popular will this one be? has anyone even SEEN this movie?! is someone of that type out there going to be super excited that their favorite character IS THEIR SAME TYPE??). I suppose I also have this secret desire to ensure everyone has tons of characters who share their type, hopefully COOL characters, so that they can realize that no type is more awesome than another, and can feel good about being an ____.

(This is why it annoys me there’s so many ‘evil’ NJ villains and not enough SFJ villains!)

Or is that very narrow minded of me to limit your Ne like that?

It’s not narrow at all; Ne needs newness all the time to stay interested -- but as I said, there will always be new movies / television shows to ponder. ;)

Thank you, Charity. Have a spectacular weekend.

You too. :)

- ENFP Mod

#question #enfp #mbti #personal #submission

[crystalelemental]

Let’s start with something my writer friends might yell at me for: In any narrative that’s not entirely visual, there’s going to be exposition.  This happens, and I’m pretty sure it’s unavoidable.  Someone, at some point, is going to just explain something.  “Show, don’t tell” exists to encourage people to actually demonstrate what they’re talking about, rather than just wall of text at people at every turn.  In essence, it’s insisting that you need to show the important parts to make a believable story with any emotional impact.

When we’re talking villain redemption, the critical component of a good redemption arc is the turning point.  A turning point is used either to showcase the exact moment a villain’s motives and goals are called into question by the villain themselves, and serves as the tipping point for them to change their actions, or to emphasize how irredeemable a villain is by having them reject the introspection and continue to act as they have.  The immediate example of this that comes to mind is Kira from JoJo part 4.  Had he kept his head down, he could’ve lived the rest of his life comfortable and quietly with that family.  Instead, he has too go all murderer again, and we’re shown that he’s beyond help.  These turning point moments guide the rest of their development, and is the critical component that needs to be shown to make actions beyond that point believable and meaningful.

Again, examples are better, so let’s take a scenario in which ORAS had gone the alternate story route in the same way as USUM.  In RSE, Maxie and Archie have their villain moments as you chase them around the region, watching them cause problems.  At the end, they use the orbs to awaken the legends, and stare in horror as the sun/rains intensify.  They comment aloud that this isn’t the world they wished for, and that everything is all wrong.  In that moment, we see the introspection and the realization that they done goofed, and they begin to work toward stopping the problem before vanishing, only showing up to return the orb to its proper place.

Then, in ORAS, the same events happen, up until the time of awakening.  When the beast awakens, Maxie/Archie disappear with them.  They’re completely gone, you witness the devastation alone, and you go to battle the beast alone, maybe with Steve/Wallace’s help.  When you return from the cavern, Archie and Maxie are just there, and Steven comes up to you and says “Hey, so I talked it out with them and they decided the ecosystem is probably okay as it is!  They’re good now!”  And the rest of the game, there are hidden scenes they have placed around where they might make statements like “I still wish to find a way to create more habitable land for people, but maybe the oceans are necessary too” or something along the lines of acknowledging the other side.  Which one hits harder?  The first, obviously.  It shows the impact their actions had, the moment they looked within themselves and found their way, and made action to change.  We don’t really see them being good at any point, but if we were told in a game that took place years after this that they were around and good people, we’d buy it.  Because we saw the moment they changed as people.  The second just has them uttering some vacuous nonsense about the other side having a point without really doing anything.

Or, supposed FRLG and HGSS took a different path.  In RBY, Giovanni is fought several times, and at the end he disbands Team Rocket in shame.  In GSC, you get the follow-up on Team Rocket disbanding, and maybe a scene of Giovanni contemplating his history before leaving for good.  Then, in FRLG, you fight Giovanni only as the Gym Leader.  You see him in the villain roles, but he never battles, always passing it off to others.  You beat him, and you get something like “Not bad, kid.”  And that’s it.  You beat the rest of the game, and it ends there.  Then in HGSS, Team Rocket is still disbanded, and you see Giovanni a lot after you beat the admins again, and he’s talking about how “Maybe the caring and love for Pokemon is what makes a trainer strong” but otherwise does nothing.  Again, he’s not evil now, based solely on “he’s not doing anything evil, and he’s commenting on understanding the problem.”  But there’s no justification.  Again, without the moment of introspection on the part of the villain, subsequent actions that show they’re good feel like they came out of nowhere, and there’s no context for the alteration.

That’s what happened this gen.  In SM, Lusamine unleashes the Ultra Beasts on the world to escape to her own paradise with Nihilego.  We see her fuse with this being that she captured, and the beast she is now part of rejects her, nearly kills her, and it's her child that comes to her rescue at the last second.  We see the experiences she had as a villain, and the final line she gets in the game is acknowledging that Lillie is "becoming beautiful."  Similarly, Guzma we see within the world of Nihilego, now freaked out and defeated.  He encountered something that he couldn't touch, much less beat down, and the creature was terrifying to him.  The core of his being as the toughest dude alive is broken down, and we see his reaction to the world while within it.  Because we see these things, we have justification for them to change.  Do they?   Not openly. Lusamine is apparently still having a rough time of it, and Guzma still hasn't internalized what Hala was trying to teach him, but in giving you his "lucky charm," he takes that first step.  We don't see what lies beyond that, but we see the first moments of reform, and the transition is believable because we've gotten justification in the scenes that are shown to us.  Had Lusamine come back late in SM post-game, and talked about how she’s considered changing, I’d buy it.  Had Guzma been shown, later on, to have come to accept his losses and is working toward improvement, I’d buy it.  I have been shown their tipping point, I have had the process shown to me, and we’re making progress.  That is believable and significant to me.

In USUM, they handle it very differently. Let's start Lusamine.  Lusamine's scenes are kept virtually the same, up until the very end of the Aether Paradise Invasion.  They keep the Nihilego thing (and then do nothing with it, oddly enough; what was the point of that now?), and more significantly, they keep her snapping at Lillie that she has no children.  Then, in the immediate scene after this, Lusamine is talking about how they're good kids and she's doing this to protect everything.  Which...okay, that's some strong whiplash.  From "You're both dead to me" to "You're good kids" in the span of under 3 minutes of gameplay.  Incredible.  Honestly I feel like that level of backpedaling on a character is enough to justify my distaste.

The next time you see her, she's being thrown back to your world by Necrozma and urges you to run.  You do not do this, and instead go to fight Necrozma. When you return, Lillie tells you she talked it out with her mom, and they're on good terms now.  Guzma gets the same problem.  They come back from their Necrozma trip, which we don't see, and he just states he gets what's going on and bam, reformed.  There's no struggle, no sense of reality to it. Essentially, there’s no follow-up.  The turning point is critical to show, but it’s also pretty important to show an act of good.  Maxie and Archie are a good example.  They return the orb.  It’s small, but it’s an act showing their change.  Imagine if they’d kept that and had the fossilized legend in their basement, and you all have a good laugh about something with another character while they held the orb and the legend was right behind them.  That’s what happened with Lusamine and the frozen Pokemon.  Her “thinking about letting them go” is not action; the problem still persists, and nothing she does at any point shows her to be any different.  She tells you she’s different.  She tells you she might let things go, or that she’s not going to control Lillie and Gladion’s life.  But there’s no presented action behind it.  SM may not have shown us the end of that process, but it leads us through the first steps in a way that's far more believable than what USUM presents.  USUM wants us to believe that they're beaten up, and suddenly now they're good.  For reasons!  If SM issue is "I don't see her change at the end," then USUM's problem is "I don't buy that she's actually changed."

To cap this off: "show, don't tell," as a concept, exists to state that the important details of your story need to be explicitly shown, rather than implicitly stated.  If we're told a major event happened but don't see it, it feels like we're cheated.  If a major change in a character occurred but we don't see it, it doesn't feel believable.  The critical aspect of a redemption arc isn't that they get to be good. That's the outcome at the end of the road.  The critical component is seeing the turning point.  When we see the turning point, it's easy to accept that a redemption has occurred or will occur, (ie, "when did you start becoming beautiful?").  In fact, stories sometimes use the demonstration of this turning point, followed by the villain not accepting it, in order to show how irredeemable someone is.  It's important to have that moment to establish the impact of a change, or the impact of a refusal to change.  Without being shown a turning point, a villain's redemption is now implicit.  We're left to just believe that the turning point occurred and that it was justifiable (ie, "We talked it out and it's fine now!").  One presents a situation in which, regardless of the villain's choice, that choice has meaning.  The other presents a situation in which no choice was made, things just happened.  I don't think I need to explain which one carries the emotional impact.

As a few miscellaneous points for the responses on the other posts, because I can’t not:

I commented that Lusamine is one of the most villainous villains not based on global impact, but on emotional impact.  It’s the same deal as the old Voldemort/Umbridge dichotomy.  Voldemort’s bad and a problem for everyone, but Umbridge is the evil you know all too well, so its portrayal is familiar and powerful.  Lusamine hits home in a way that most world-ending villains don’t, so I count her as one of the best villains in the series in that regard.

My problem with Rainbow Rocket isn’t that Giovanni leads, it’s that Giovanni is the only one with a point being there.  The others have no story influence.  Archie and Maxie literally state that Giovanni is just letting them stay there, and Cyrus just wants to go home.  Only Ghetsis has an alternate plan, but his is just jumping on Giovanni’s plan and hoping he can control Giovanni.  Everything hinges on Giovanni.  If you want a celebration of all villain teams, you could’ve easily made a post-game where Looker and Anabel team up with you to take down the Rainbow versions of each organization, which all have their own motives and stories.  Instead, they’re pushed into Giovanni’s without purpose and they all seriously feel neglected.

Necrozma is a problem for the same Voldemort/Umbridge reason above.  Necrozma has a more global impact, but no emotional impact.  It’s just a force of nature that’s a threat in its current state that you have to stop.  Going from a villain that is entirely emotional impact to something that’s just a nebulous enemy with no bearing on the people present feels like a downgrade.

Lusamine is 100% a damsel in distress in the post-game.  She’s unconscious, Giovanni’s trying to turn her into a mindless puppet, and your entire involvement is going in to save her.  She is, by literal definition, a damsel in distress.  And for your first female villain in the series, that’s...really bad.  Especially following SM.

However, I will concede that I hadn’t considered Guzma wanting to fight and beat down UBs as his own reward for tagging along with Lusamine.  So that was an interesting point to read.  I also can’t argue that many of their traits are different across games, but the issue isn’t the traits, it’s utilization of those characters that causes problems for me.

I will also concede that not getting to fight Mother Beast is the greatest disappointment of the century.  I was hoping they’d fix that by having Lusamine fuse with Nihilego to fist-fight Necrozma, but alas, they did not do that.

#pokemon ultra sun and ultra moon #pokemon sun and moon #lusamine #usum did bad #ultraericthered

[fictionaljournalofbbwomans-blog]

EPISODE 07.03.4040

SHARE YOUR CONTROLLED BRAIN IRL 

Is BB right about the money? 

She has a doubt, especially after bathing in a crowd environment, she goes through all her recent actions and declarations and gets worried of the receptions, she hears all sorts of accusatory comments about what she fashions to survive and it is really hard to discern who is really hinting... The people or the Masters through the people?… Will that generate more exclusion, misunderstandings and laughing? She tends to forget about it until she is in a space, as she is so used to be alone with all her theories and discoveries, locked in a restrained internet world that gives her half of the necessary infos and some made out facts, pages and discouraging hacking alarms and software bugs. She concentrates for a second; “It’s something SO big that it traumatises all my friends, chosen and blood families, entourage, activists and allies to keep silent, and the police refusals, lawyers and medias ignorance! That much of a level of isolation and efforts in intimidation to keep everyone silent and divided, strait up violence which eventually leads to groups of 10 police and firemen coming to take me by force to hospital to inject hardcore meds in my ass while all details disappear and everyone gets back on their everyday days... Come on! It HAS to be fucking BIG? No? HAS to involve big money!” And she is 99% sure amounts must go high high HIGH and even surer that using her body and brain as objects to bash, fuck and manipulate should grant her with that 66% easy…? Presumptuous? 

After months of being ostracised from friends and fun, buried under incessant brain eating and keeping as healthy as possible BB goes out clubbing parred with a wise amount of drugs. She needs to have a dance so badly, see familiar faces, and feel surrounded by good energies!… Barely touches the substances after her initial start and go line, very surprising and unlike her, but she is content and fulfilled with this change, and only takes half of a pill too late or too early, stupidly just before she decides to actually leave the venue without saying anything, having had enough of nightlife psychosis theatre... Ho one important piece of information for our readers is that, the Bastards want her to believe that people around her can only read her thoughts when she is high on drugs. We will explain in further diving in the story that it is a trick marketed to make her believe the perpetrators are the infamous members of her family, and it is a system with a processus that will only end when she sobers up from all drugs and clubs or music making for years. 

She walks home delighted to have seen her friends and received love hugs and actually danced hard for so much longer than for so long! She remains puzzled on the reason why these public thought reading sessions are still hapening… She THINKS they are really not playing in the “Doctors” favour. The grand realisation of the ampler and spectrum of the operation for BB happened thanks to one of these instances and she is really grateful for it.

This brings us to raising 2 more questions: First: does this mean she is right in thinking that the Masters can decide when and for how long people have access to her thoughts? And second: do they have access to it all, are they aware of what they make her think and what is genuine and how direct is it? BB: “because it feels really fucking live!” In your ears? On your phones? In an inoffensive V2K for the rest of population? Just a couple of the worst words there and there, beamed out to nearing curious heads…? 

BB: “I feel that I see them come close to me and try and catch my eyes, when that is done they stand still, bend down their upper body slightly in my direction, like waiting to hear something imminently… Or could that be another trap to make me think they hear me live strait in ears and make me tell that to a professional Psychiatrist LIAR?... And so you’re waiting to hear... get informed... about…??? My panicked urged thinking on the way you look? The way you move...? Really…? Is that interesting what I think about the way you look? Do what you get satisfies you? Or can we agree that it is generic, always the same, absolutely non specific, vulgar, and most importantly useless as fuck? Is it somehow interesting and, I can’t grasp why? So hearing the primary thought of a female bodied individual under pressure and harassed in a social environment who was traumatised while growing up, by Patriarchal society’s pressure to work on the way she looks as a priority and to make it fit the selling standards as well as prove it by finding a men against all women is fascinating? Or is it better to get the embarrassed judgements about your races, genders and genitals she wishes never crossed her neurones?”

Unmistakably choosing a social environment at night, which was initially and is even more now an anxious and difficult process for her to go through is the perfect setting to share her brains out, the absolute jackpot if you want her to sound hysterical and obsessed! She systematically scans rooms and analyses level of security within them, trying not to look shaky and scared. She is used to taking shit from her trusted ones under instructions, and so having to assess a full night of energies to open or close to is without a doubt setting her off to make another bunch of enemies. Or so they think! The Evil dumbers trying to play her body want to add to hysterical and obsessed, offensive and ridiculous. Offensive is really important because it raises up many hurt feelings for harassing comments and actions to want to fuse, and ridiculous obviously linked to making people laugh, it is hard not to laugh at something funny, she feels like laughing too when listening to the thoughts farting out of her head… Some she owns up to, some are put through.    

She is a vessel for anything and everything they want to make the female body say! Or shall we even go as far as to say; what they want a feminist to think? An exemplar soft white piece of bread for the sausage of their choice and pile of sauces. Are they really still Witch Hunting? Trying their best and most, lets have a little count… mmmmhhhh fuck loads against 1, to demonstrate that being a feminist is being a hypocrite? Do they need to prove womxn remain women and when you dig into their primary unrepressed thoughts, you can see how much they like to be raped? How much in competition there are with each other and how obsessed they are with their appearance and men? Acting this through BB Womans who never ever had any specifics in gender preferences appears to be worse! She knows she has taken on the role of the bad bad BAD feminist and finds it comical but it is probably not what is read by her surroundings. It could translate in; “Wow heard what she thinks!!! She’s got issues!!! That’s so mean” or... BB: “Insensitive or self-centred and everything else you might want to put in to justify your wish for me to feel ashamed, leave or just move away, bearing your sigh and spare you the consideration or memory of “that game you’re fed up with?”

When confronted with a lot of energies, everything becomes ultra binary; fucking or not fucking the men, “fine!” But then Comparing her size and looks with every female she encounters, obviously pointing out when she wins and noticing awful recurring words come out of her like some unfounded diarrhoea, and if they have a male partner it goes something like how better for them she is, like dog pissing, highlighting ingrained female competition as compulsory? When it comes to trans* people she is stuck by the thought of their genitals… being the worst one of all she can think of being stuck with while trying to be next to her friends.  

Again BB is really fed up to have to justify herself for ANY thoughts at all, but some of these need to be outed as their doings… All the ones that go something like; Fat, ugly, small, dicks, pretty, better, jealous… etc… Could not be further from the way she considers a person for the first time or the people she knows, she would never call them repeatedly fat or ugly or EVER want to categorise anyone with all encompassing description of their appearance, and if it happens that she did, well that would be a good subject to bring into light and discuss. 

The process is simple, they make her stop and wonder with a short and accusatory: “SSSSSSiiiiii” which in french translates to some stronger YES when opposed to a no. “Si” means you are a liar and what you really think is not what you think basically. So they go:”Hoooo, Siiiiiii BB you think that she is….” and wait for a word to be shat. Or: ”No, you don’t think that he…” Back and forth and back and force until they force out some blunt annoyed spelling of raw thinking to be fired out, and here we are, you do not just undo a thought? Do you? It’s out there, it is shared, it has shamed, it has hurt! 

But it crucially needs to be massively underlined as irrelevant! She is not perfect that’s fucking right, and she is not a sleepless moraliser anymore either, although she did take that one, good to work on even, and forced to understand she did not know how to get all her points across efficiently…  She then also got to learn quite a lot through this hyper introspection: the first thing that comes to your mind, and if it does not come, they extract it anyway, is rarely considered or enunciated by your brain. In the same way that you would not just punch the guy next to you in the metro on your way to work because it’s a hard morning and you can not stand anyone, you would also not just describe, judge or attribute some simplistic insulting words describing someone’s appearance in your head.. and even less out loud. No! You refrain your primary urges. Same goes with thoughts. If you’re fast and hold a lot of self awareness you should be able to catch them, but they often just hover deep in your disorders and insecurities. When you got them you can analyse them and decide to give them whatever importance you want to give them and restrain or indulge consequently with the attitudes and reactions related. 

BB thought she had been clear about ways to understand or try to understand how it could feel to be her, but that was with forgetting these special nightlife stretches… If you can imagine yourself in a club night slightly aside fearing to near bodies but still trying to look like you can handle it, having to juggle your thoughts made a public matter, avoid considering the ones they send to your brain and their constant calling you out on the worst of what you think or repeat under pressure, pay or not pay attention to what is said and acted around you, wonder if it is kind or not, scripted and imposed or scripted and acted enjoyably or pure reactions to your turbulent inner voices, steer clear from looking at people not to spew out anything offensive, nor focus on yourself not to seem self obsessed, wonder if you should be here or not, if your friends are ok with what the hear, having a nice time or if you are fucking up their party and your friendships just because you’re here, want to dance and you miss them, add to all of it some high level of anger against the people hired to remotely drill your brain hiding like weak knees, when you should just be free in a space made for body release and expression… and you can probably imagine a mine full of intense emotions to make you give it up very quickly. Last time she held it up for about 5 hours, was never scared or wanting to hide and danced as hard as she could and is really proud! 

BB only has had positive discoveries from these moments, lengthened endurance to keep ok in her favourite environments and countless signs of kindness and support. Which brings us back to wondering why are these brain eats organised and who does it really profit? Does it only happen when she is on drugs? No sorry, checked and checked! It had ceased to happen in the streets in the last couple of weeks. She understood there is a certain distance to respect to receive… the closer the clearest?  

As whispered above; is could be Patriarchy and their demonstration of the limits or incapabilities of womxn, some mindless misogynist droned out revenge, or is there a parent wanting to fully extract their “past the point mentioning” grown up child from rave environments and their consumptions, and if so who is performing the “parent”? Was the family, the evil, backward, jealous mother scenario set out from the get go of a thought reading experiment to create groundbreaking machinery or is it more recent, so to transform some joke that got a bit too far in a love fueled rescue? BB: “Huh... Is this just a fucked up fucking game?… Who is playing? And how do I become the only remotely playable body?” And last thought of option seeming most accurate for BB at this stage; “It just smells like a social media thought reading study and experiment... No? Does this just need to keep on without my consent and full knowledge on mechanisms for my whole life?” It certainly looks like this is what they are hinting at. Unfortunately for them though, this outrageously fucked up, unconstitutional and violent story has taken a turn of NO RETURN; they have let it go too far and too long, they have seen it too big which instead of inviting her to swallow it as impossible, got her to understanding it as impossible not to be REAL. She now knows TOO MUCH she can NOT forget. She already remembers everything from her 2 previous painful reality discoveries after hospitals, medications and all her datas, writings, videos and pictures destroyed. This 3rd time around the amount of support and signs of her sanity she is lucky to have had are printed deep in her memory, she is so grateful to have lended in a coussin of radiant power and love and everything she knows to be truth is most definitely not erasable. And even if their torture and pressure was nearing anything she would cede under and resign to take some anti psychotics giving way to their increased and sustained control of her body and brain, she would stop as soon as possible because this substance is hurting her physically and mentally and would run back to raves, altered states and people she likes to surround herself with, read what she wrote again, remember it all and resume to fight its disgusting doings and presence at all on this planet! 

But she has to admit that she has exhausted ideas on what to write, expose or communicate through her fiction, appart from going down the past slide show of her administered life and sharing all the crusty details of her slow realisation of the deception. They are sensitive and difficult times to recall and describe without emotion and more introspection, and could also loose her in interpreting many aspects and times as inaccurately linked to being a targeted individual. She is still not sure how efficient that would be, thinking that it could also hurt, guilt trip or offend some loved ones involved in hurting her or contributing to her isolation, or tickle the risk to drown herself in greater despair... BB: ”The past is the past... yerrr but... and in 2 days it’s International Womxn’s day! Wowwww!” But then again force is to constate that writing to expose perpetrators’ pestiferous work protocols is proven to be the most efficient tactic she found effective towards increasing tranquility, in small steps but could it eventually lead to owning herself, her mind and her body back? her popularity or NOT, who fucking cares! The worst of her outer and inner self is a public matter... but indispensably her INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS! 

Here is how she is going to power through this misogynistic shit storm. Just keep up what she is doing! Writing it all out and OUT, impose the amount of self care she wants to impose on herself, re-educate to rave environments for as long as it takes to feel at ease, not give anyone a word on her levels of consumption, since it is unquestionably highlighted that she has absolutely no problems, addictions or mental disorders resulting from her monstrous drug taking most of her life... Quite the contrary, it has always unveiled the truth! She will be thinking and dancing in ways that she sees fit or are envisageable under the machine hold in parties, try to not let them destroy chances to get hired somewhere, build her strength up day by day, walk, ride, shit, cry, masturbate and tell her points of views around Blue to whom ever wants to hear them. And If there is any problem with that, “Just let me know!”

#intellectual property #whistleblower #bbwomans #humanautomation #mind control activism

[omgkatsudonplease]

a prompt mayhaps: Viktor is a big-time lingerie designer and Yuuri is a model ;)

finally getting around to this one! s/o to everyone on discord who aided and abetted ;)

In retrospect, it really should have been more obvious. After all, the brand’s name is Secrets by V, for crying out loud.

But at the time of their first meeting, Yuuri had been nothing but nervous. It had been his first shoot as a History Maker – the industry nickname for the beautiful, sexy models of all genders who advertised Secrets by V’s ultra-luxe lingerie. The new campaign that season was fairytale and true love-themed, to better highlight the romantic details on the new Stammi Vicino line. Yuuri had rushed in late that morning, no thanks to the traffic, and then watched as two female models posed together in each other’s arms, clad in coordinated bra and panty sets with wings on their shoulders.

(He’s still not sure how he managed to join their ranks. He’s just too mild-mannered and plain – too Clark Kent, no Superman.)

“Are you looking for something?” someone asks, and Yuuri turns to see the most beautiful man looking at him curiously. His silver fringe falls into one of his icy blue eyes, and he’s clad in a simple navy suit, clutching a tray of coffee.

“Y-Yeah!” Yuuri stammers. “I’m the new model? Yuuri Katsuki?”

The man hums, consults a clipboard, and nods, pointing to a door to the side. “Go through there and they’ll get you ready for the shoot.”

Yuuri nods his throat feeling more and more like sandpaper the longer he stands there and watches this man scrutinise him. “Th-Thanks,” he says, feeling his face redden. “Are you – do you work here?”

The man raises an eyebrow and nods.

“Are you in charge of this shoot?” wonders Yuuri.

The man laughs, shaking his head. “No, I’m just watching.”

“So you’re an intern?”

The man’s eyes widen briefly, but he quickly recovers and nods, laughing. “You could say that,” he says. “I’m Viktor.”

“Yuuri,” says Yuuri, and loses himself in the brilliance of Viktor’s smile as he shakes his hand.

Viktor shows up to his other shoots. It makes Yuuri feel a little better, to see a friendly face. But as it’s also the most beautiful friendly face that he’d ever seen, it also makes him a lot more nervous.

The new line after Stammi Vicino is called Intoxicated. Yuuri is posing for his set with another male model. Christophe Giacometti is Swiss, extremely flirtatious, and a very well-known History Maker. In fact, he even has his own cologne. The only reason Yuuri knows that is because the man is drenched in it right now, and the scent of patchouli and vanilla is threatening to overwhelm Yuuri’s senses. 

“So you’re the new model everyone’s been talking about,” Christophe remarks in between shots, as the director instructs them into a new pose.

“I am?” wonders Yuuri, blinking at him and vaguely trying to devise some non-aggressive way to inform the man that his cologne is overbearing.

Christophe nods. “Not a lot of people can turn Viktor’s head like that, you know.”

“Viktor?” echoes Yuuri. “The intern?”

Christophe snorts. “Not the intern, the –”

“Yuuri!” Viktor’s voice chirps from off-set. “I brought coffee!”

Yuuri can hear the director sigh and suggest everyone take five. He clambers up from his current position and puts his robe back on, walking over to get his cup of coffee from Viktor. It’s warm, and done just the way he likes it.

“How did you…”

Viktor’s smile is enigmatic. “I just do,” he says. “How are you liking the sets?”

“Oh, this?” Yuuri pulls his robe back slightly to reveal the briefs that he’s currently modelling, not sure if he’s imagining the small intake of breath from the intern standing next to him. “They’re pretty comfortable, but not really my style.”

“What is your style?” wonders Viktor.

Yuuri shrugs. “Not blue and purple sequins, at least. Maybe something classier? I…. I actually liked Secrets by V’s spring collection from a few years back. Especially the one with the mesh and crystals.”

He definitely doesn’t mishear the thoughtful hum that Viktor makes at that, but he doesn’t think much of it, because he has to finish up his coffee before the break ends. It burns at his tongue a little, but that’s at least better than drinking it cold after the shoot ends.

After he finishes his cup, he shrugs off his robe and rejoins Christophe on set, not noticing Viktor’s gaze lingering on him the entire time.

“Doing anything after this?” wonders Viktor after a shoot for the next line, called Les Parfums des Fleurs. Yuuri had been posing with countless amounts of silk flowers for the past three hours, and is looking forward to nothing more than crawling into bed and watching Netflix.

“No,” he admits. Viktor smiles at that.

“Would you want to grab something to eat with me, then?”

Yuuri nods, and Viktor beams, and as Yuuri goes back to the dressing room to change into street clothes, he wonders why he can feel everyone’s eyes on him as he leaves.

Viktor takes him to a really nice bistro down the street from the location where they were doing the photoshoot. It serves delicious Mediterranean cuisine, and even the lunch prices are staggering enough for Yuuri to do a double-take at the menu.

“Don’t worry,” says Viktor. “I’m buying.”

“Isn’t the internship with Secrets unpaid?” wonders Yuuri vaguely.

“Don’t worry about it,” insists Viktor, his cheeks now flushed pink as he hides his face behind his menu.

Yuuri frowns. “Are you sure? I’d hate to impose –”

“Yuuri, please.” Viktor sets down the menu and places his hand on Yuuri’s. The places where their skin touch feel warm, almost tingling.

“O-okay.” He bites his lip. “If you say so.”

“I insist,” replies Viktor. 

Yuuri’s brows furrows. “Why, though? I’m just another model.”

Viktor’s eyes go wide at that, and he shakes his head. “No, you’re not,” he says. Yuuri wants to tell him that he isn’t worthy of being wined and dined like this, even for lunch – in fact, he feels woefully out of place sitting in jeans and a t-shirt in this upscale bistro in the first place. But Viktor blushes again, his blue eyes sparkling, and Yuuri realises then with a jolt that maybe Viktor feels just as nervous about this as he does. 

So he smiles. “Okay,” he says. What should they talk about? Work? The weather? Those both seem like terrible ideas. “Any recommendations?” he asks, gesturing to the menu.

Viktor breaks out into a relieved smile. “Anything on that menu is great, but I find I like their hummus and falafel the best.”

Yuuri finds himself agreeing roughly twenty minutes later.

From: Christophejust get a fuckin grip and tell him already

To: Christopheno, it’ll intimidate himi like that he only sees me as me

From: Christopheu could not sound more smitten if u triedif he’s really worth ur time he’ll be fine w the truth

To: Christopheyeah you’re rightbut i’ll do it after the show

From: Christophew/e do it sooni’m telling u this b/c i care about u

The line that Secrets by V is showcasing for its annual show is called On Love. Each set of lingerie in the line is a conceptualisation of some form of love – Agape, Pragma, Ludus,Philautia, Mania, Storge, Philia.

And Eros.

Yuuri loves the Eros set. It’s a bustier and brief set and it clings to him like a second skin, fitting him perfectly – as if the designer had made it with his measurements specifically in mind. There are splashes of crystal at one shoulder of the bodice and at his waist, gossamer panelling intersected by black satin, and a small skirt to one side that flares at the hip. The briefs are also black, though along the back there’s a significant mesh panel crisscrossed by black satin ribbons.

Viktor delivers this set to him, his cheeks tinged pink as he pushes the box into Yuuri’s hands. He’s now seated on the other side of the screen in this tiny dressing room, and Yuuri can feel his heartbeat pounding in his ribcage as he contemplates the fact that the most beautiful intern in the world wants to see him in this outfit. With a slight wobble in his legs, he slips into a set of nude flats and steps out from behind the screen.

“What do you think?” he asks, watching Viktor’s jaw drop in response.

“Um,” says the man, the pink flush in his cheeks turning crimson. “You look…. good.”

“Just good?” wonders Yuuri, almost a little playful, as he turns around to give Viktor the full experience, thrilling as he catches a glimpse of Viktor’s flabbergasted expression in the mirror. 

“Extraordinary,” amends Viktor, his voice a little hoarse. “Ravishing. Captivating.”

Yuuri feels a strange warmth tingling through him, spurring him to step closer to Viktor, to keep him in his gaze. “Good,” he breathes, a sudden urge to trace the line of Viktor’s jaw with one finger threatening to overwhelm him. 

For a moment they just stare at one another. And then Viktor steps forward, closing the distance between them, and Yuuri can feel his breath ghosting against his cheek. He can smell Viktor’s cologne; it’s not patchouli and vanilla, and he breathes in a deep lungful of it.

“Yuuri, I – I should tell you something.” Viktor’s voice is hesitant. Yuuri looks up into his eyes, trying to figure out what it is that Viktor wants to divulge. He opens his mouth as if to ask, but then the door opens and one of the runway assistants pokes their head in.

“Mr Katsuki? You’re up in – oh. Mr Nikiforov. I’m so sorry. I’ll tell them Mr Katsuki’s busy –” and they leave. And Yuuri turns to see Viktor slowly flushing bright red where he stands.

Yuuri’s voice sounds strange to his own ears when he finally speaks up again. “Viktor Nikiforov?” he asks. “You’re V?”

Viktor laughs, sheepishly rubbing at his nape. “Surprise?”

Yuuri gapes at him. It’s as if everything in the world has suddenly shifted three inches to his left, and he doesn’t know how to get it back – or even if he should. “So you…. you designed this?” he asks, gesturing to the bustier. 

“You loved the other set from a few years back, so I thought I’d revive it a little,” replies Viktor, tilting his head curiously to the side, fixing Yuuri with that intense, beautiful blue gaze. “What do you think?”

Yuuri smiles. “I love it,” he replies, and kisses Viktor. 

For the first couple of minutes, Viktor freezes under Yuuri’s lips, but then he quickly melts, hands coming up to cup Yuuri’s face, holding him in place to deepen the kiss. Yuuri can feel (however dimly) Viktor walking him backwards, pressing him up against the wall of the dressing room. Viktor’s lips move from his to pepper kisses down his neck, and Yuuri tilted his head back and moans.

“Viktor,” he gasps, after feeling the sensation of Viktor sucking at his skin. “You’re going to leave a mark.”

Viktor pulls back to look at him with a wicked grin. “But it fits my artistic vision for your set perfectly,” he teases, his voice positively purring, and Yuuri can’t help but laugh at that.

Reaching out to tug Viktor back in, he breathes, “I’d hate to contradict your artistic vision,” and loses himself in the brilliance of Viktor’s smile as the man kisses him again. 

#yoi #viktuuri #victuuri #lily's dabbles #lingerie model au #daiyanodumpster #ask

[zinnia-apologist]

All It Takes Is A Fall

Author: Kendall McIntosh (BittersweetNSour, Eskay64)

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Arena Tycoon Greta, Zinnia

Content Warnings: Survivor’s guilt, suicide urges

Summary: In the aftermath of an Ultra Wormhole opening up above the Battle Tower and Anabel getting dragged in, Greta - Anabel's girlfriend up until the incident - deals with her grief very poorly. It takes a surprise visit from Zinnia to stop her from doing something drastic.

~ [Serebii] ~ [Fanfiction.net] ~ [Archive Of Our Own] ~

It had been a month since the sky ripped open above the Battle Tower, and a huge black beast came out of it and wreaked havoc. Nobody was sure what it was; not even Noland, the one Frontier Brain that actually held a Pokédex, nor anyone that the various picture-taking bystanders at the base of the tower brought the photographs to for identification.

But it really didn't matter. It came, it caused massive damage, and it left, right back through the wormhole in the sky.

And now Anabel was gone because of it.

Greta had been waiting in the lobby when it happened, watching Anabel's latest Gold Symbol challenge on a big screen. For dramatic effect, she had just recently decided to start moving all such challenges to the roof of the building. And of course, that put her right in the way of the alien creature's destruction, when it came. Her and her challenger both.

Anabel had been on the losing side of her challenge, and as per Battle Frontier regulations, she had only brought three Pokémon up with her. She hadn't planned on using two of them anyway -- she called on the favor of Raikou and a Latios for the sake of a battle, but Legendary Pokémon rarely allowed themselves to be legitimately caught by humans, instead simply coming as called as a temporary ally. And by the time the strange black creature appeared, the two Legendary Pokémon had already come to fight and left in defeat, leaving Anabel with a wounded Snorlax, an Alakazam, and her starter, an Espeon who rarely battled anymore. Greta knew Anabel was in no shape to face a creature like that, especially one that -- at least based on its appearance -- seemed to be Dark-type.

Truth be told, Greta doubted she stood a chance against whatever it was either. But it didn't matter. She had to be there to help her childhood friend, her rival, her girlfriend, in this crisis. So, as soon as she possibly could, she made her way through the panicking crowd and toward the first elevator to the top.

She didn't make it in time.

They were gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A month since that happened, right down to the day. The Battle Tower was closed to everyone except Scott, the remaining Frontier Brains, and anyone who had volunteered to help clean up the damage and maintain the building, which had become a memorial to Anabel. Greta had unrestricted access to it.

So now she was on the roof, standing on the edge, looking down.

The events of that awful day kept playing in her head, over and over and over. Seeing the beast come out of the sky, rushing to the elevator, watching in agonizing pain as the floor number sloooooowly rose to the top, the doors opening to a wrecked roof.

Too slow. Too slow. TOO SLOW.

It was her fault, she thought. She insisted. She should have been there, she was so close, but it didn't matter. Her girlfriend was presumed dead. Even if she wasn't, Greta would never get to see her again.

They'd been together since the beginning. Her Umbreon was from the same litter of Eevee as Anabel's Espeon; Greta could have gotten a starter Pokémon two years earlier, but wanted to wait until her first friend, her best friend, her favorite person, got hers. They'd traveled all across Kanto, Johto, Sinnoh, and Hoenn together, and been there for each other's worst points -- and Greta, having depression and borderline personality disorder, had a lot of worst points. Somehow, Anabel had always managed to keep her going strong without even trying -- whether it was words of encouragement, or sending pictures of Umbreon plushies captioned "saw this and thought of you!" on bad days, or sharing a laugh poking fun at Lucy's obsession with snakes. Somehow, Anabel always had a way of making her happy when it mattered.

Until now. She was gone.

It should have taken me! She kept insisting to herself. They can all live without me! They all deserve better than someone who can't save someone who actually matters, then keeps obsessing over her when she's gone. Real useful, aren't I?

She inches closer to the edge, clinging with one hand to the railing. All it takes is a fall, she tells herself. All it takes is a fall, and then if Anabel's dead, I can see her again. And if she's not… the others deserve better anyway. Scott deserves better! Nobody would even remember me -- who talks about Greta anyway? Nobody, nobody does, nobody cares, nobody would care if I--

"Pretty night tonight, huh?"

Greta yelps and whips around, almost toppling off the edge before catching herself instinctively. Behind her is a very short girl, with black hair cut into a bob not unlike her own, and wearing a cape and an ankle brace with a strange marble-like stone embedded in it.

"Wh-who are you?! H-how did you get up here?" Greta's voice trembles. Nobody was supposed to know she was here!

The mysterious girl smiles and hops up onto the railing beside Greta, sitting down and kicking her feet over the side. "They don't have a Battle Tower where I'm from. There's plans, sure, but they haven't actually started building it yet. Gotta say, it's pretty darn impressive!"

Greta just gives her a confused look. Not only did the girl avoid both of her questions, she didn't even seem to acknowledge the fact that she was about to jump off!

"...L-listen, whoever you are… I, uh, y-you shouldn't be here. It's off limits. Frontier Brains and authorized personnel only, g-got it?"

The mystery girl just shrugs. "You left the doors unlocked behind you. Thought it was safe to follow you. I like high places, y'know?"

Well, that answered one question. Next time, lock the doors to the stairwell.

"Well, um… it… it's not safe here. L-listen, just leave!" Greta shouts.

The girl sighs. "You can't climb up here specifically because it's dangerous and then tell someone else not to, that's just hypocritical. Nope, I'm staying riiiight here, so you're just gonna have to get used to the company!"

Greta groans. It wasn't supposed to be like this! She can't do it now that someone's watching her! She climbs back over to a safer position, only now realizing just how badly she's shaking. "O-okay, I'm… I'm safe. You happy now?"

The girl smiles again. "Better! But I'm still staying."

Greta sighs, trying to calm herself. "...I-if you say so. Can I… at least get your name?"

The girl kicks her feet idly. "I'm Zinnia! You're Greta, right? The Arena Tycoon?"

Greta nods. "Th-that's me, yes." Calm down. Just. Calm. Breathe. Breathe…

"Nice to meet you!" Zinnia spins around and hops back off the railing, leaning against it. "Soooooo… what's on your mind? I'm gonna play therapist for a bit, if that's okay."

Somehow, Greta doubted it mattered if she said it wasn't okay.

"I… lost someone. Really close to me. You might have heard about it on the news, it was… it was the girl who ran this building before."

"Mmmmm… can't say I really keep up with the news." Zinnia shrugs again. "But still, sucks that someone died. It'd suck even more if someone else did, y'know?"

"I…" Greta starts to say something, but realizes she doesn't actually have a response. This whole situation was catching her incredibly off guard. She fumbles for words. "I… I… don't think therapists usually say stuff like that…?"

"Well, guess we know why I don't have a license, then! But whatever, that's not the point. I… well, I know how you feel, Greta. I lost someone close to me too. But you know how she would have wanted me to respond to it? She'd want me to keep fighting! For the people we haven't lost yet!"

Greta spends several seconds in silence. When she speaks again, she's very quiet, almost whispering. "I… guess so. And… she might not actually be dead either…"

Zinnia beams. "Well, that's even better! Keep fighting until you find her, just like I'm gonna keep fighting until I find my Aster again! And if I don't… well, wherever she is, I'm gonna do everything I can to protect her. You do that too, okay?"

Greta pauses. After a moment, she slowly nods her head. "I… okay. I will. For Anabel."

"For Anabel!" Zinnia smiles. She extends her arms in an invitation for a hug. Greta hesitantly accepts, but when she does, it's an eternity before she lets go.

"Hey… I'll keep a look out for her, okay?" Zinnia whispers. "For Anabel, I mean. I travel a lot. If I see her, I'll tell her someone's looking forward to seeing her again. Got it?"

"Thank you… thank you, Zinnia."

They finally break the hug. Greta gazes out over the Battle Frontier one last time, then turns back around to start climbing back downstairs. Astonishingly, Zinnia is already gone, as stealthily as she came.

Greta promised herself she wouldn't disappoint her.

#fanfiction #pokemon #pokemon emerald #pokemon oras #greta #arena tycoon greta #zinnia

[peachingboy]

Boku No Hero Light Novel No.2 Trans

Chapter 1: Commence the Study Groups! (そろそろの勉強会),  Part 3.

[Part 1, Part 2]

t/n: at first I didn’t think I’d get this done today but! due to the fact that bnha s2 was starting today which gave me a big motivation boost to do something bnha related and hence me plus ultra-ring through part 3! Btw I also want to say thank you to those who have left kind messages in my ask box, they really make me happy! THANK YOU <3

Kyouka is starting to get the quadratic formula’s they were going through.

“Ah I see, you can solve them like this?”

“Oh, Kyouka-san, at first glance you’ll feel like you are stuck but if you look at the question properly you will be okay.”

“As expected that’s our Yaomomo, so easy to understand!”

“Oh, please, don’t say stuff like that..” 

Kyouka’s honest thoughts about Yaoyorozu made her blush happily, her explanations made it really easy for everyone to understand.

“Yaomomo-senseiiiiiiiii- How should I do this English translation?”

“Just give me a minute Ashido-san….. ah this one…”

Yaoyorozu’s standing study plan was the most perfect, each subject was carefully timetabled together, everyone’s weak point was analysed and measured. Yaoyorozu taught everyone with kindness and carefulness which made everything easy to understand too.

When they think about all the time and preparation she’d put into this, to think in the beginning they didn’t want to enter into this palace.

Because Ashido really wanted to attend the lodge for the test of courage she is aggressively trying really hard to concentrate.

“Uh, your face is gonna explode!”

However, there is already one person who has had enough, that guy is Kaminari Denki.

From the sports festival to the work placements, they’ve literally been swept away by these events, it’s bewildering and then having to come and study, the brain is going to fry if this keeps up!

“X&Y ions combination…. auxiliary verbs…. Sumerians and Crown Shock….”

“Ahhhhh! If you say anymore, I’m going to really explode!”

Even though he didn’t emit any electricity he had on his stupid facial expression. Kaminari turns towards his neighbouring Kyouka who tells him:

“Get a hold of yourself! Don’t you want to go to the lodge?”

“I doooooooo, but even Aizawa sensei said who ever gets failing marks won’t be able to attend, I even had supplementary lessons at school!”

“AHHHHHHHH…. somebody……. anybody please exchange heads with me!!”

Ojiro tried to give him some encouraging words, but the soon to be reality for Kaminari is him blowing up and sinking, because of this Ojiro felt bad and apologised for not being more sensitive.

“Kaminari-san, should we take a break soon? It’s good to have moderate breaks, it raises efficiency” Yaoyorozu suggested, just then a voice could be heard from outside the doors.

“So then…” The door opens, and the butler enters.

“As you wished, the tea has been prepared.”

“Welcome back.”

Don’t tell me, he’s just been waiting on standby all this time???

Kyouka and the gang eyes rounded at the sight of the maids reeling in a wagon with tea and cookies in front of them. 

Just from the looks of it, the tea set prepared were obviously really expensive, they watched a crimson red coloured tea being poured out into the cups. The steam along with the soft aroma can be felt drifting in the air around them.

The butlers and maid left out to avoid getting in the way of their break so they quietly and quickly distributed the tea and left the lecture hall.

“Pleas everyone drink and eat up.”

Yaoyorozu acted as a cue and everyone stopped their studying and took a sip of the crimson red tea.

“The tea brewed by the maid for us…” The carefully brewed red tea rains down and stains the dry grounds of Kaminari’s heart.

“mhmm, that hit the spot!” The obviously exhausted Ashido complimented.

“Harrods? or something right?”

“Yes that’s correct, I personally love drinking this specific blend when studying, it’s produced in a different area, that’s why the blend produces a complex flavour of persimmons so when your brain becomes weary, you relax and drink this, it’ll instantly rejuvenate you.”

“ummmmmmmm…… I don’t really get what you just said but it’s delicious!”

“I don’t usually drink tea but this crimson red tea is really good!”

Sero and Ojiro appeared to be quite interested in the tea.

Ashido eyes began to shine at the tea coloured cookie she just dipped into her cup.

“This cookie looks real yummy!” The little distorted shapes on the cookies were kinda weird but nonetheless they were certain it was ordered from some fancy high end shop which had their version of stuff they’d thought would be delicious, well that’s what everyone thought as they put the cookies into their mouths.

Yaoyorozu smiled at everyone eating, waiting for the taste of nutrients (?) to hit, it was different from the usual sweet tastes, she anticipated them to taste the complex bitterness.

“……………………”

The five cocked their head slightly at the unexpected taste, at first they were stuck in a state of confusion but suddenly a strong bitter and pungent taste came rushing in their mouth with a strong hint of salted fish!

Their senses were going off, their tongues were tingling and their mouths and throat felt like it was under attack. They turned their head back to try and stop the smell of fish from getting into their nose.

“YGYGSHJSSJSGSGSGJSG” 

This isn’t something people can eat, they had to trust the instinct of their tongues right now, but they were in such a fancy place, there must be a reason, they have to doubt their own tastebuds.

This must be the taste of celebs.

“What do you guys think?”

To stop themselves from puking, they pressed their hands down onto their mouth, their faces turned blue and started producing cold sweat.

Yaoyorozu suddenly notices their demise, but they five just chugged down the red tea alongside the cookies.

“Is it possible that it is not suitable to your taste?”

“Ah…h n-no it’s not like that…”

“The celeb cookie is grea—–t!”

Somehow Ojiro and Ashido managed to open their mouths to try and not hurt Yaoyorozu feelings but she becomes worried she made them eat bad cookies.

“………….?!”

Yaoyorozu’s face fills with shock.

“Wai- please excuse me for a moment..”

She presses her hand against her mouth as she becomes mildly confused.

The remaining five waited for her footsteps to distant away from them before they end up throwing the cookies away.

“uwaaaa! The taste is still in my mouth..”

“These aren’t cookies anymore, they’re weapons of mass destruction!” said Ashido as she tries to drink out the taste with her tea.

Kaminari was still staring suspiciously at the cookie.

“But this really woke us up right? It got me in one shot!”

Following on from what Kaminari said, Ojiro mentions with a serious expression.

“I really had to work up the courage to take bite it once.”

Kyouka also downing her tea played lookout and kept her eyes fixed on the door.

“I wonder if Yaomomo tasted something weird, she did look confuse?”

“Ah, it doesn’t matter, she’s going to return soon.”

However, it was the opposite to what Kaminari said, it didn’t seem like Yaoyorozu was going to come back any time soon. But they can’t resume their tutoring with a teacher however, they thought with concentration, motivation and a different mindset they could atleast try,

But Kyouka couldn’t function with the smell still lingering, she’s still trying to get rid of the taste that is still swimming in her mouth with the tea.

“Wait a minute guys, I’m gonna head to the toilet”

“Ah, me too! I need to go too, I drank way too much!”

Both Kyouka and Ashido get up and opened the door, there was a maid on standby for anything they might need.

They had to hurry as the urge to pee was unreal, the long corridor playing music did not help either and Ashido was about to burst!

“fuaa- I made it! 

“It’s tough because this place is so wide!”

The two exit after washing their hands both with refreshed smiling faces, suddenly they both stopped.

“Ah…. which way was back again?”

“oh.. god”

Right or left, no matter which way they look it’s just the same continuous long corridor! It feels like they came from the right but it also feels like they came from the left.

Kyouka was embarassed about the maid waiting in front of the toilet so she sent her away, now who was going to make sure they returned back okay?

“I don’t think she’s coming, let’s just go which ever!”

“Huh?!…. wait!”

Ashido simply suggested turning to the right based on only intuition, Kyouka was unsure but followed anyways.

“They’re late…. did those guys get lost or something?” Sero asked with a laughing face, Ojiro agrees with an eyebrow raise.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they got lost, look at this place.”

“But the maid would be there to bring them back right? They should be okay, no?”

“Nah, I think so too” Ojiro smiles. While Ojiro and Sero were conversing, Kaminari planted his face down into his notebook and started rubbing it around.

“…………………”

He wiggles the top half of his body like a giant worm, Sero and Ojiro couldn’t help but notice, they exchange looks and then watched Kaminari’s head, Sero with a calming voice asks;

“Dude, what did you just do?”

“I’m trying to get the knowledge to enter my head.”

“Dude, I don’t think that’s going to work, you’d probably lose more knowledge like that” Sero calmly pointed out as the teary eyed Kaminari raises his head.

“sooooooooooo what should I doooooooooo?!”

“Try and study normally.. don’t you think?”

“My brain has reached its limit!…. Limit!!! If I don’t get one more letter into me… uhhh….hu…good bye lodge camp… hello supplementary lesson hell.”

Even his dreams of having tea made by maids before couldn’t stop Kaminari from going into give up mode, Kaminari is just doing whatever now.

Ojiro and Sero tries their best to console him.

“I-it’s gonna be okay man! There’s still plenty of time elft!”

“Y-yeahh… Yeahh! That’s right! If we just focus hard enough we can surpass any difficulties! Remember the school’s motto!”

“PLUS ULTRA!”

“….Even if I can’t remember one more letter?”

It didn’t look like Kaminari’s give up mode was going to end anytime soon, this went against his usual positive attitude. I guess the studying and it’s stress really changes you negatively!

“Hey, you can definitely plus ultra that last letter can’t you?”

“Yeah, what Ojiro said, you can totally power through the last word! Don’t you want to attend the lodge camp?!”

His classmates kind, encouraging words had Kaminari’s stuck gears slowly moving again.

“………y-you’re right! I just need to power through this last letter!” said Kaminari as his eyes fell upon his English text book and its tightly packed lines of English letters.

From A to Z he tries to line up the letters in a formation he’d like and was able t to read from.

pa———–n, Kaminari bursts a brain cell!

“ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can’t I can’t I can’t!” Kaminari tries to escape from the reality as he covers his ears from Ojiro and Sero’s worrying words.

The world is cruel, he remembers the ridiculing from Mineta Minoru from a few days ago.

-When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you gotta do…

“….ha”

Kaminari lets out a dry laugh, the days before it was Kaminari who kept bragging to Mineta about going to study at Yaoyorozu’s house.

“Ay, you alright there dude?”

“Man,, you seem pretty tired, maybe you should call it a day and head home to bed?” suggested Ojiro and Sero who were seriously concerned Kaminari probably over studied.

Kaminari with a bitter smile said, “You’re wrong, Mineta… that guy… he said studying at Yaoyorozu would be helpless… that I should cheat… I keep remembering those words”

“Ha…ha, if you cheat you won’t be able to attend the lodge camp, don’t even think about that conversation with Mineta.”

“you’d get expelled dude!” Ojiro and Sero laughs together, Kaminari laughs too.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Kaminari looks at the reflection on Sero’s arm. Sero’s quirk allows him to shoot tape from his elbows which he can control freely and draw back whenever, it’s an extremely high-tier, useful quirk. And then Kaminari suddenly remembers the class seating order, Kaminari sits diagonally behind Sero’s seat.

“hahaha….ha…. no that can’t be right….”

“hah?”

Ojiro and Sero stared at him with puzzled faces as his laugh disappeared and his frightening voices draws near to them.

t/n next part switches back to bakushima and teaser note they visit a drinks bar after escaping the library lmfao fun times, once again dependent on my speed I’ll try to post it asap.

btw pls check my acc from time to time for updates, I thought at first I could just go back to my previous updates and post links to new parts but it’s actually really troublesome to do so, so please pop back every now and then to check for updates.

And last but not least, bring on season two!

#boku no hero academia #bnha #my hero academia #light novel #translation

[topicprinter]

I made a comment the other day on a post on here that was quite poignant to me and was related to possibly the biggest theme in my own life the last 2 years.I don't come on here much and rarely comment. I'm not sure why I come to r/rentreprenuer these days but I think it's because I find it interesting to browse through what goes through other peoples minds in relation to this subject. I tend to see the same things repeat themselves quite often and I guess I just kind of have an urge to get a few things off of my chest that I hope may help a couple of you out.If anything I say on these posts comes across as negative or harsh towards 'wantrapreneurs' or early starters, please forgive me- I too have been where they are several times throughout my career and I have made many many mistakes.(Pre post edit- I've added the * symbol to sentences where I may trigger offence but in fact this is something I have been guilty of myself)There are several crossovers within the points which I maybe should tie up and summarise at some point and please bear in mind that other than emails I am not an experienced or particularly good writer.Well here goes... I'm going to start with a few 'Don't Do's'.Aiming for the StarsOnce or twice a year I meet up with an old army buddy of mine. Every so often we do it in his home town and he brings a couple of his mates from school he still drinks with- every damn time there's this one guy who calls me Mr Money (I don't think Im anywhere as wealthy as he thinks I am) . He's obsessed with money and entrepreneurship despite never having set anything up himself, he quickly turns the conversation to my current and previous endeavours and then proceeds to start pitching me with some of his own.I think what annoys me the most about him is that he reminds me of how naive and pie in the sky I was myself in my early twenties. Most of his ideas are either far too lofty and ambitious to be the basis of a credible starting point or are too complicated/ niche/ in an unknown market to be in any way feasible to make a start on.The worst part though is that these ideas always have the aim of making millions.I have personally lost more by either giving up or not putting enough effort into ventures that would be nice little earners because of they were exactly just that. When I was 24 I completely messed a business that turned over half a million and paid me personally about 80k because I didn't think it was scalable enough to make me a millionaire by the time I am the age I am now.I'm still not a millionaire and other than by creeping over the line at some point by the way of investments I have no real desire to be.My advice to anyone starting out is to think small... like really small. And really simple.The smaller and simpler it is, the easier it will be to start. It will also make it easier to replace yourself by paying someone else to do most or all of the work for you. You can then work on expanding the business and/or diversifying your business interests.My position now is that I have several 'nice little earners' and am in the process of starting another. The bulk of my weeks work is in what I call my 'job business' where I am basically a part time consultant to a large multinational. The remainder is on my side hustles. These side hustles employ people who do most of the work and my role is in providing the direction and authority that most people need (more on this later).The main thing on these side hustles is that they are fairly run of the mill, they're not that 'economies of scalable' and they're in no way revolutionary.They're just simple, startable, runnable and profitable businesses.Looking for too much adviceThis should really head up the list. The fact that many of you are here will be that you are looking for advice*. Like I said in my opening comment, Im not looking to put anyone down.My own searching for the missing secret, that one little tip (or list of a hundred) or that 'thing' that I was clearly missing has cost me more than anything else, if not more than every other mistake combined.If I had just trusted my gut more and worked through a few more (as Bob Ross puts it) Happy Little Accidents I would have gotten to where I am now far sooner and far more enjoyably the first time round.​We don't know what we don't know- this much is true. But the important thing to get clear on is- How much do I need to know right now?​Overcoming the anxiety of not knowing everything one would ever need to know to make a success of things and just getting going and keeping moving is probably one of the biggest contributors to success I have seen in others and is certainly the biggest in my own rise from the ashes.One of the main reasons I feel qualified to write on this subject is not just my own 'average success' but that fact that I am very fortunate to know and count among the friends of quite a large number of self made people. I'm not sure how unique I am in this respect but I think I must be somewhat unusual that many friends, family and friends of friends are business starter/ owners. As a keen observer and one time habitant of a special kind of 'Self Help Hell' I have spotted common themes in so many of them that I almost feel that I can't be wrong about them.My own going from a bit of a f&*k up to what I now consider to be a very ideal situation by aligning my own behaviour with the more useful ones that I have observed in those others, really validates to me what I've learned.​The reason I make and stress this point is that the things I have seen work for other people is almost entirely at odds as most of the things that the 'gurus' and self aggrandising entrepreneurs you see on youtube and on the top ten non fiction books list all the time.​One of the things that most of the gurus keep telling you is that you need to keep reading and learning and consuming everything that the 'success' industry has to offer. I completely disagree with this and other than a healthy interest in ones (slow and steady) personal development I really think that most of it should be avoided.I think we all learn better by simply doing and that there isn't really that much to learn.A) You don't need to know what the routines and habits of billionaires and ultra successful people are, besides, most of the writers of these types of books are more than likely way off about just how normal these 'superhuman' people really are.B) By reading a lot of this cr@p you are more than likely decreasing your chances of achieving your own version of average success. You may, as I did, get into the really bad habit of comparing yourself to people that are so far out of your league in terms of luck/ circumstance, confidence and natural ability that you can beat yourself into a depression.C) By reading the stories and autobiographies of famous entrepreneurs you are reading the story they like to tell, which will have to be in line with what they have told other people in private or at paid after dinner parties; and hence will unlikely be exactly the truth. There will also be a lot of a survivorship bias in their recollections of the epochs in their journey.​Not one of the really successful people I know did any of this searching for the holy grail of advice. In fact they almost all did the opposite- they got busy, trusted their gut and in multiple cases actively avoided external advice expect for single issue specific problems where they would speak to or hire a consultant.​By telling yourself that you will be able to do it if you can just read this list of a few more books or go to this seminar- you are telling yourself that you lack the actual natural ability that many successful people rely upon for the bulk of their progress.I'm not saying that some of the stuff in the plethora of books on the subject won't help at all in any way, but I am saying that you really don't need it and much of it is misleading, unnecessary and bad for your self esteem.I could probably bang on about this some more but I'm going to leave it at that for now.-You can do it and you don't need a motivational book to help you do so.​Desperation to have a business/ Lack of patience.One of the things I see on here a lot is really a desperation to be an entrepreneur and wanting to do so right now rather than later* (when conditions are more suitable) and while I suppose everybody's desire to do so will be as unique as them, I think a lot of people fall into the categories below.Sadly, again, I think that the self help industry and its regurgetators helps fuel the 'screw it just do it' mantra- but for myself and those that I know that have gone on to (eventually) do well, setting things up right and making each next step was on a firm footing have been key.Yes you have to take risks and sometimes fail* but throwing all caution to the wind and going all in on the first turn of the cards doesn't pay off in my experience.Here are some examples of desperation and impatience:Not fully understanding how money works and think the only to feel safe/ comfortable/ happy is to have lots more of it* and due to being also lower educated* that the only way out is to be a successful entrepreneur*. Jumping into starting a business before one is mentally and financially ready in order to cure a lack of wealth.For the vast majority of people who were born into the lower classes of wealth*, it's common to think that the best way to rid of the default empty insecure feeling is to have more money and that the only real option do so is to be a business owner- this is some ways true but can easily lead to desperation.- Learn to understand how money works and live below your means before you start trying to make more of it.​Feeling that one is different and hence somehow better than the majority of everyone else; and therefore should exist at the top of the food chain*. Starting a business rather than exist alongside the hoy polloi.Also somewhat true but can also easily lead to desparation.It wasn't until life turned me upside down and smacked my a$$ did I realise that humility felt better deep down and was more useful.- Get used to the fact that you are very very average in the big picture. You will be a better leader, salesman and producer/ purveyor of goods if you put your fellow man on an equal standing.​Hating something at work- either the job itself or someone in it.No * as only partially guilty here.Hating ones boss/ colleagues or feeling superior to the work can often be the source of desire for entrepreneurship and in my opinion is a bit of a recipe for disaster. If you are in this boat I really strongly recommend you learn how to tolerate and get on with people and the drudgery of boring work. Entrepreneurship has plenty of that in store for you.You will have a hard time with your staff, suppliers and customers if you can't put up with dealing with a few d!(kheads. While owning the business will give you a bit more choice and control over who you deal with and how, I think that people who find it hard to get on with people wherever they go tend to be the source of many of their own problems and will fair no better as the one in charge.- Learn how to get along with people before you start.- I dont believe in being manipulative in anyway but there are indeed some truly horrible people out there, you have to be able and willing to outsmart and feign commonality with them or they will take advantage of you.It's definitely not wrong to desire to be an entrepreneur and I dont suppose there really is a bad reason to start. I guess the point I'm making is that owning a business isn't a 'get out of a sh!tty situation' card but should be more of a chance to be a little bit more of yourself and to give the market a slightly better product or service than exists presently. Don't get involved with things you aren't capable of understanding and don't start for the wrong reasons and you should be okay.OverthinkingI said there was going to be some crossover here and I think this is one of them points.Too many people don't get started on things or start on the wrong things because they overthink key parts of the journey- usually far before the situation has arisen.Again this can lead to the addiction to business and self help books- it keeps feeding the unknown unknowns conundrum and even worse lets people think they are doing something about their desire for entrepreneurship.There will be problems, there will be boredom, there will be hard times. The road ahead meanders through the hills and mountains; a continuous hike of ups and downs- the plateaus are few and bring with them their own fears and worries.Get going and learn as you go. You'll figure it out. If you're realistic about what you're setting out to do, the problems you'll face will be more manageable and more in line with your current capabilities.​​I'll call it there for now and if you're interested I guess I'll keep writing.​​​​​​​

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

[brandic-art]

In the past I’ve entered this expression of blogging because something was gnawing deep inside to get out and be shared. A specific experience, story or “ah-ha” accompanied with an urge to be acknowledged through words. Today, it’s as if my heart is clogged up with so many occurrences swirling around in my mad mind I only can be clear that I’m here because of my need for time with the written word. The writer in me yearns to take center stage as I work through and assimilate not the month or season but just the last 10 days.

Serendipity, chance, luck maybe a large serving of them all generously given by some source outside of myself. I attribute this moment to how a baseball player must feel after throwing the perfect game. As if velocity, speed, endurance, focus and the perfect zone has come over my artist and in just a few moments in time years of work have been translated into an exchange of resources, acknowledgment seeing my labor expand away from me, this dream becomes my reality and then grows past me into the lives of others.

I contemplate this strange feeling of emptiness and abundance. This last week I delivered a large part of my personal work to new clients.

“Play On”

Loading up hours of brush strokes that had attached to them pieces of my soul. Each work had a story of a time and place to which life was brining me inspiration to which I grew. Some of the pieces reminded me of past love, my children when they were younger and needed me more, hard lessons and mental obstacles I’ve face but mostly these pieces where created in a time before I had choose this work as my full time profession. These works expressed a simpler more naive version of myself.  When being an artist was a way I spent my time just for me.

“I See You”

Back then my studio was a sanctuary I would hide myself away from the world and be in private conversations with the quiet voice within. It was a time before my physical body showed signs of dis-ease when I was free and unmasked to use any material to express the rawness of my emotions.

“Lost Oak”

I was naive to what the future held for me, the journey I would take and the courage that would one day reveal itself through this dynamic world of living ones greatest dream. Seeing the new home to which these pieces a long time ago were created and realizing that what seemed like individual works created over the space of years where strangely a full collection and would stay together, would privately live together and seeing them bring joy to the new owners ironically built from some of the toughest of life lessons yet today bringing color and excitement to their personal space. Witnessing the energy of  alchemy; my intention to take that which was dark and translate the energy into lightness! My individual expression is acknowledged as I find the courage to let these works go with the faith I will be inspired once again and my studio walls will not be barren but the emptiness is actually a sign for a new reality. Space now opens to express again!

“76102”

After making the emotional journey of releasing so much of myself in a moment I quickly shift gears into the part of me that shares my artist with others. The conceptual artist moves in as I design and prepare to facilitate one of the largest projects I realized in the past 24 months. Working with what has become one of my favorite clients feeling the energy build up to pull off this feat as life tosses me curve balls. After years of swinging at whatever ball is thrown, I realize the depths  of the very message I speak in my work, about the importance of the creative mind and the powerful tool it can be utilizing it in more ways than designing my work. Needing to be in ultra focused mode and hit each mark I’m reminded life has it’s own designs. The hours and days become messy. My motherhood is called forth to parent a sick child, the weather becomes damp and humid delaying each stage as I yearn for the hot Texas sun to help in the drying process. Time reminds me of the continuation of each moment and lack of control I have over space without a bull pen behind me life shows me that my conviction alone will be the driving force which will accomplish a victory. The only choice to make is to believe. Believe I am exactly where I’m supposed to be and everything is perfectly orchestrated, that my intention has sourced every moment for my benefit and the future will show me how perfect each obstacle is as a stepping stone for success. My intuition takes over as it guides me through and speaks calmness into my actions with the message to show up in every moment fully engaged and in some mystical way, sometimes illogical, even life will reveal a better plan than the best plan of the past.

“Lone Ranger & The Lady-N-Red”

The job is delivered, 450 people have been touched by my work. A new headquarters piece is now in full swing as the large expression is now moved into the finalization process in the only space I have large enough to house it. I’m back to where I began 11 years ago…my living room! I should have seen this moment coming as my current studio space tiny and mighty is being shared with the young artist of beARTsee and the open door policy for the community pushes my work back home in the private spaces to which I need to dance with this canvas.

In only a few days I’ve lived in both these scenarios as I barley have time to catch a deep breath before heading back to my real studio to host Fort Worth’s Bi Annual Gallery night. Revealing what 250 hours of summer art camp looks like, changing uniforms from individual artist, to facilitator artist and now standing on the mound of the outreach program Non-Profit beARTsee to reveal the works of the young artist who I’ve grown to love not just for their work but all of their messy little lives!

Together the community peaks their head in to measure and judge our work together. Seeing how art can be used in a therapeutic, fun, educational, emotional and inspiring way to touch the lives of young people and breath life into their personal journeys. There are days that the young artist inside me, the one that revealed 11 years ago, sees the same artist in these young people. The naive silly younger woman who thirsted to feel life. Who willed herself to muster the courage to take the journey into herself. Who fashioned a lifestyle unique to her greatest desires. The original desire was to feel life seemed simple. Intending to use art as a way to heal and develop myself. I didn’t see myself living out the reality I have today. Back then I couldn’t imagine my works leaving my own walls without an inkling someday my work would live in New York, LA and many places between that the canvas and paint would be the bridge for me to work with people all over the world  sometimes involving translators to share my ideas. Looking back I thought what I wanted was simple. Just to know my heART. To be a contribution to myself and that my life would make a difference for others. I didn’t sense it was a dynamic dream because my sub-conscious hid that away from my logic. Knowing that I needed to emotional mature before realizing the expansiveness my dreamer was being. Maybe this moment is not about selling work, facilitating group team building, or sharing the mission of a grassroots Non Profit. Possibly, it’s about realizing I’ve grown to be able to consciously see the vastness of my dreams. The balance between my logic and creative minds have surrendered to each other, no longer vying for more attention, but willing to work together to understand more fully who and what I came her to be.

This week was like the perfect game. Every aspect of my artist; my individual canvas work, my corporate work and my non profit work not only was realized, each one captured it’s greatest victories. All in what feels like one moment in time. The past 11 years converged, opened up and received the fruits of many years of labor.

I write these final words feeling odd emptiness almost like the one that first spiraled me into this journey. I’m comforted by the wisdom I’ve collected knowing that the emptiness is not hollowness. It’s actually the expansion of my consciousness, the new space to which the next game will be played. My logic is on my side these days measuring and judging what all this means. It tells me that then next 11 years will be built from all the experiences of the previous. New work is bubbling up inside each new piece will also be a reflection of every brush stroke that escorted me into this moment. Every tear will be represented in new joyful experiences. This blankness in my heart is a sign not of disconnect but of new beginnings; an open sign to be more of who I’ve been. Knowing that not every time on the field is a perfect game, which is not where success lies, but in the continuation of tossing out that next expression and always swinging beyond the fence!

Heres to Expressing Outside the Box!

Always in Love & Laugher-

Brandi C.

Please become part of the story being told through this work by making a charitable contribution through this link Donate.  Small expressions make big impressions!  Please forward & share our story.

Brandi Cottingham Lives in Fort Worth, TX she is a mother, facilitator, speaker, writer and artist with a focus on using the creative mind as a powerful tool for creating the life of ones greatest dreams.  Brandi travels across the United States designing Corporate team building, Community Art Projects,  Weddings, Parties and individual consulting using Art as a metaphor for her powerful messages.   To book Brandi for your event contact her at brandicottingham@me. com.

BeArtSee is a Non Profit organization using the labor of art for social change.  BeArtSee Studio is located in the Crockett Row Development at 827 Currie St., Fort Worth, TX 76107 through the collaboration of local Fort Worth Artist Brandi Cottingham & Vestar Development for Carlyle/Cypress West 7th LP.

4 The Love of being in the Game In the past I’ve entered this expression of blogging because something was gnawing deep inside to get out and be shared.