#and i dont really know how to stop

[dazais-crab-addiction]

Tonight I learned that my 20 yr old partner has never played chess and doesn't know how to play chess. This is mind boggling to me. They claim its not weird for people to not know anything about chess so I. I need to see. Please.

Okay so, I made a mistake in not elaborating the meaning of the options. You do not have to be good or know what you are doing in the slightest to pick that you have played before. The middle three options are for your understanding of the game having never played it at all. The reason there's a percentage on the last option is because my partner made a tumblr so they could pick it because they think they are hilarious.

#crab says words #chess #tumblr polls #i learned how to play in elementary school and so did all my siblings #i use to play chess with random people constantly in highschool #im really bad at chess but its still fun to play ya know #i just am so shocked they literally knew nothing other than “the horses can move in an L shape” #i taught them how to play and made then play with me so dont worry i fixed the situation 😌 #pls reblog this 🥺 #i take it back!! my notifications will never recover!!! pls stop reblogging this!!!!!!

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #trafficblr #Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this #and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please #Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have #Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him) #But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but) #And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol #I love them so #oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying #but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy #Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea #tubby art

[ruporas]

invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because #it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has #given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably #since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc #of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:) #in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun #but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots #he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at #the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is. #mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax #but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe #the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww #u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww #ruporas art

[u3pxx]

can i show you guys an old oc of mine her name is reina (she/he) and he is a retired villain and also he loves her superhero wife a lot

#butch woman save me ... butch woman pl #i dont really make ocs bc i get bored making stories of my own (thats really sad i know dfghdj) but i do LOVEEE designing characters #she used to be a boy oc but now i just transed her gender god bless ASKSKS #the thing was he's like this robotics expert supervillian whatever #and her wife (rosie) is the superhero who always tries to stop her #i never really knew what their story would be about bc i was just here for the character concepts lollll #i also drew rosie with this one but i wasnt satisfied with how her design looks :^( #ill share her here if i redesign her in a way that i think looks good in the future asksksk <3 #sunnysidedraws #den's ocs tag #described #id in alt text #ocs #original character

[stiffyck]

I'm posting it before I can back out

No one will ever see me again goodbye I'm going to chuck myself off a cliff now

#i dont even wanna tag this #its bad quality on purpose btw #i totally could give you the hd version but i would most likely have to kill myself to do so SKFFKVKSG #my urge to draw gay people is strong but my embarrassement is stronger #gtws #jimmy #trafficshipping #hermitshipping #i dont even know if i should tag it with my art tag.... #ill do it. just for you guys. but i will be ignoring it every time i see it #my art #OKAY I SHOULD STOP RAMBLING #GOODBYE EVERYONE IM GONNA GO DIE IN A DITCH NOW NO ONE TALK TO ME #solidaritimes #i was made aware there is another tag for them: #scaridarity #which is somehow worse #(i do not like their shipname its so. weird idk how to describe it djgkrgls) #how do people draw kissing this is EMBARASSING #okay okay ramble over i really nees to stop procrastinating and just post it

[saetoru]

if gojo doesn’t win this then it’s proof that all men do is lie bc why tf did you tell me in season one you’d win and have me all cozied up with no worries like “yeah trust. my man got this !!” only to make a fool out of the both of us. i’m never trusting nobody again this is not a game ok my mental health is not a game

#jjk leaks #jjk 236 #this is what i get for looking at the leaks #i told myself i would worry ab it in the morning #but curiosity rly does kill the cat huh #SOBS #IM ACTUALLY REALLY SAD I DONT KNOW WHAY TO DO #I KEEP TEARING UP IM LITERALLY NOT UNDERSTANDING HOW TO PROCESS THIS #half of me is delulu queen core like #nah he’s coming back it’s just a scare #and half of me is like #stop being delulu girl it’s over

[aterfish]

Being ace is an opposite of fuck around and find out:

Fuck nobody and never know for sure

#never knowing is actually a very important part #bc you learn that you dont care and you dont wait for that ✨special someone✨ #if something changes: cool #if nothing changes: cool #i dont need to be sure to be okay with my sexuality #and i dont need proof for others if i want to use one label or another #peace and love on planet earth #humans have too short lives for random people telling them they can't live their life how they want #asexual #asexuality #aroace #ater babbling at 2 am #hello new followers time to disappoint you 💖 #also im sex repulsed. but if you are not? then fuck and never know for sure ✨ #its literally 2am i really should stop and think before posting something. but dis a problem for a future fish #Right now fish wants to post their stupid post

[moeblob]

What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?

#fe warriors three hopes #mercedes von martritz #miklan anschutz gautier #we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it #i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way #so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault) #did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him #no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF #no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how #he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes #who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ? #like that npc stuck with me a while ok #just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now #i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo

[ghostespresso]

staff logging on to tumblr dot com today

#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site #changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too #this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus #if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear #if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine #the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money #someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont #tumblr staff #EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but #that doesnt stop the post from being stupid #the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase #if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything' #staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did #so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post #edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post #they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us #i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded #and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money #tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol #ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years #but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one

[lazycranberrydoodles]

when i saw eeaao in theaters it made me cry 3 times and then immediately became both my favorite movie and the best movie i had ever seen :) / follow for more art! / reference below the cut

my beloved

#i’ve been practicing portraiture because i find it really difficult #i tried my very best to get this right but eventually caved and superimposed the references to get the proportions right 😔 #tumblr keeps killing the color on my pieces also and i dont know how to stop it… #eeaao #eeaao fanart #eeaao art #evelyn eeaao #evelyn wang #art #my art #portraiture #digital painting #fanart #everything everywhere all at once #this has been in my drafts foreverrrrrrr

[harunefrog]

I drew a thing!!! You know this one!!!

#isat #in stars and time #isat siffrin #isat isabeau #this took like the whole week #it probably wouldn't have if i didn't decide to redraw the template entirely from scartch #but you dont get it #i REALLY wanted the stars to have four points #anyway #im gonna probably do more sketches now #like get back to the sonic ones #or more AA au #if anyone is more familiar with aa case writing hmu because i have no idea what the hell im doing #but i really want to make this fangame #wait i haven't mentioned it before i am kinda working on an aa fangame for isat #but i wanna hold off on doing too much spritework until i have AT LEAST the tutorial case figured out #and i have literally no idea how to write a case that's like not very difficult and makes sense #anyway yeah i should probably stop this rant #OH WAIT ONE LAST THING #i know nothing about the series this art trend is from i just know people draw ships like this and i wanted to do it too #harune draws #I forgot i have to tag my art if i want it to be findable later

[queenerdloser]

i just finished dark heir

#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU! #i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him #dark rise #okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections #that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought. #hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil. #me: [screams into the abyss] #i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!! #and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again #and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted #instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have #become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth #he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them. #anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone #me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it #i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it

[lomltrentarnold]

Can you do Trent or Jude being so clingy , always hugging your waist can be short or long ur choice🙏🏼

❛ clingy. ❜ — trent alexander-arnold

‣ warnings : long fic!! clingy baby :(, they’re both clingy tbh, the boys teasing, love struck fools, kissing, & physical touch is kind of their love language, lots of pet names, mentions of eating.

‣ hana’s notes : hey babes <3 i decided to make this a long fic cause i was having too much fun 😭 also because im in love with both of them i’ll do a jude version next !! hope you like this one 🫶 the ending is kind of awkward im sorry 🫠

MAIN MASTERLIST

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

the lights were playing tricks on your eyes, first it was blue and then it turned purple and then it was green. the music was deafening, that much you knew, you could hear it from where you were standing outside the house. the party was in full swing, there were confettis everywhere, cups littered on the floor and bodies dancing in the middle of the room.

it was supposed to be a small celebration, but by the loud sounds of cheers, yells and people singing along the music, you didn’t think that was the case.

your boyfriend was at your side, arm tucked neatly on your waist as your fingers tangled with his.

“didn’t think there would be this many people.” trent chimed, his body was slightly bent so that his mouth was on the same level as your ear. you choose to ignore the shivers you felt.

you laughed at that, this is definitely not a small celebration, “yeah.”

“trent!”

you both snapped your head towards the familiar voice, seeing hendo waving to get your attention. he was surrounded by the other liverpool players, you couldn’t make them all because of the lighting but seeing the shadow it looked like virgil and milly were beside him.

trent waved back as you both navigate through the crowd, making your way to them. trent’s hand never leaving your body.

“glad you guys could make it!” virgil exclaimed, patting your boyfriend’s back in greeting, before sending you a warm smile.

the conversation went on, you telling the squad some stories and drama that has happened in your life the past week. the boys all soaking it up and even giving feedbacks for your situation which you appreciate for. (even if ibou’s and milly’s advice was just telling your so called friends to mind their damn business, you still appreciate it.)

you were so engrossed in your storytelling that you didn’t even noticed that trent was staring at you with awe filled eyes.

he loved seeing you like this, interacting with his teammates like you have known them since forever, the boys treating you like their little sister and giving you advice, and the fact that you all get along so well is making him feel emotions he hasn’t felt in a while. he wanted to pepper your face with kisses.

you turned to look at him, when you noticed that he became quiet. “do i have something on my face?” you whispered, eyebrows furrowing in concentration on wiping your left cheek.

cute. he thinks.

trent chuckled and shook his head, “no, babe. you look fine.” he paused, “gorgeously, fine.” he added, hands wiping invisible lint at the corner of your lip.

he could’ve swore he could see stars in your eyes at his compliment. the sight made him grin as it mirrored the one that you wore.

you only broke apart your little staring contest when you realised that everyone has stopped talking. you turned to see the boys were all looking at you and trent. some with smirks on their faces, some with soft smiles.

but the same thought crossed their minds at that time, trentski is in love. in love.

you cleared your throat, feeling sheepish, “i’m getting some snacks okay.”

you started to move but didn’t get far because of trent’s arm that was still wrapped around your waist. you tried to move again, thinking he would loosen up his grip, but it only got tighter.

turning your head to look at him, you were met with the famous sight you have come to be accustomed with. the sight that you always fail no say no to. trent’s big brown doe eyes eyeing you with an adorable pout settling on his lips.

damn it, how is he so perfect.

you could already hear his pleads, be quick, please. don’t leave me too long. wanna be close to you.

you kissed his cheek, a giggle escaping your lips. “be right back.” trent reluctantly removed his arm from your waist as you manoeuvre your way to the snacks table.

there is a plethora of choices, chips, sweets, vegetables, cakes, even fruits. you could hear your stomach grumbling in hunger, quickly picking up a paper plate and filling it up with watermelon cubes.

you were so deep in thought of the food in front of you, you didn’t realise the lingering figure that was closing in your space. a sudden pair of hands laid on your hips almost made you drop your plate in shock, but when a certain perfume scent hit your nose and a certain dread-head lands his face in the crook of your neck, nuzzling his nose there and inhaling your scent. you had an idea of who it was.

“you said it’d be quick.” trent mumbled against your neck; you almost didn’t hear him.

you laughed, and you could feel trent’s lips curling upwards at the sound, “i’ve only been gone for 3 minutes.” you teased, rolling your eyes.

and as if trent could feel that you rolled your eyes, he gave your hip a little pinch. you jumped a bit at that, puffs of laughter leaving your lips.

there was a few moments of silence between you two. you relax against the boys chest, his arms securing itself on your waist as you guys sway to whatever song was playing.

you placed one of the watermelon cubes in your mouth, doing the same to trent, feeding him over your shoulder as you both munch on the fruit, “this is your party, baby. go enjoy yourself.” you expressed, feeling slightly guilty that you took him away from having fun with his teammates.

little did you know that he wanted to be next to you.

even his teammates advised him to do so, noticing his constant fidgeting the second you left.

although he was called a simp by alex and robbo —which then left bobby confused on what that meant and they had to explain to him— he wasted no time trudging the crowd to get to you.

after you finished filling up your plate with goodies, you turned your body to face trent. your faces inches away, lips touching but not feeling. bodies so close that all you guys can feel was each other. you were in your own little bubble.

where all you could feel was him. him. him

one of trent’s hand left your waist moving to your cheek. his thumb grazing your cheekbones with softness that made you all mushy.

“yer so pretty.” trent whispered softly, the volume of his voice making it seem like it was a secret. like you were the only one that’s meant to know. like you were the only one that matters.

feeling flustered you rushed out, “you’re pretty as well.” letting your face melt into his palm.

trent let out a little chuckle, dazzling smile on display that makes your insides all gooey. he gives your forehead and cheek a fleeting kiss, his pillowy lips feeling soft on your warm skin, —the warm skin that was caused by the attention that the footballer was giving you— he licked his lips, making your eyes involuntarily evert to them before landing a sweet kiss to your lips.

your head feels dizzy, your cheeks were flushed, your legs are a little wobbly and your heart feels like it could burst from the affection.

“here you lovebirds are!”

the little bubble you and trent formed was interrupted by robbo’s bellowing voice.

“thought you lot went to shag.”

you laughed at his reaction, the boys’ relationship was honestly your favourite.

“robbo!” trent shockingly exclaimed.

“what?! it’s was an educated guess!”

reblog to support!

#i could go on and on and on abt this fic #but ut had to stop somewhere #maybe the excess ideas that i have will be used in jude’s version #no one knowsss 🫣🫣🫣 #i dont really know how to end this so yeah <3 #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold fic #trent alexander arnold fluff #taa #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander imagines #trent alexander x you #trent arnold #football #football x you #football x reader #football x y/n #football imagine #hana writes!

[ganondoodle]

so

ninetdy just announced that they are, and have been, working on a live action zelda.

i am not joking.

like i needed to lose my only source of sanity right now too, fkying hell

there goes my hyperfixation i guess.

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #i hATE live action anything #fucking STOP #i #i honestly dont know how to deal with this #if you know how hyperfixations are #you might get how i feel #among all this shit going on #i really didnt need to lose that too #im actually crying man #the worst timeline #there is no way to do it right

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

#derpy speaks #good omens #good omens 2 #no i dont think crowley is gonna ever hate aziraphale for what happened but he's allowed to be angry #he's allowed to be done with it all. he's allowed to be exhausted. just look at his face when he drives away. #meh. idk. but i dont know how i'll feel if crowley just INSTANTLY accepts aziraphale back in a situation involving #idk - ''hey help me stop the new apocalypse'' #at least. without like. SOME pushback? it can even be something small like ''are you SURE you want ME to help you? do you really need me?'' #doesnt have to be a straight refusal but i'd like SOME kind of action to show that crowley is putting his foot down for once #he deserves that self respect #do NOT reply saying that im insinuating that aziraphale is actively malicious or doing it on purpose. #everything he has done up until now is his own complicated response to all the trauma and guilt he's been through #but despite that crowley is STILL allowed to be upset... it's messy. i can write a whole paper about how this whole thing #is just unfortunate on both ends. again. we didnt get queerbaited we got communication baited 😭 #but help me out here. am i just too fandom-brained to have these expectations from the story? #is there something obvious im missing that is making me sound like a complete asshole here? do i need to get my head out of the gutter? #someone please explain it to me if so because whatever it is‚ i can't find it #not queued

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I always thought that handcuffs were kinda stupid. As a little kid I would watch movies where the bad guys were hauled away in cuffs and I'd always think "alright, I guess that's inconvenient for them?" but I never really understood why they didn't just... take them off and escape

This curiosity heightened when I saw that my aunt had real metal handcuffs that locked with a real key and I quickly, before any adult could see what I was doing, shackled both my wrists with the cuffs as tight as they could go.

And when I say tight, I mean tight. I had reaaaaal skinny wrists and I was a child wearing adult handcuffs, so you'd think the cuffs would be loose but nope. Those things weren't circular anymore, they'd folded in so much that they looked more like the shape a cat's pupils turn when they're mad.

And what they don't tell you about real handcuffs? Those suckers are sharp. The inside edges are almost bladed, I guess to discourage exactly what I was trying to do but that certainly didn't stop my curious lil neurodivergent brain, oh no no.

Anyway, after about five minutes of pulling, straining, huffing and puffing, I finally went to find the adult with the key.

I was so disappointed.

And so, so hopelessly confused.

Course, no one questioned why I had locked my aunt's handcuffs and why I needed them unlocked. And, of course, I didn't communicate my confusion in any way.

So it wasn't until way later in life, when I had quickly shimmied out of one of those indestructible water park wristbands and saw the horrified eyes of my friends watching me with morbid glee, that I discovered that, apparently, most people can't dislocate their thumbs at will.

The moral of the story here is that neurodivergent children have no concept of typical versus atypical and that I cannot be contained by your petty mortal means.

#personal #tangent #irl story #i was just thinking about this cause I saw yet another movie with handcuffs and my reaction immediately was confusion #and i had to stop. and be like 'no. that person is STUCK. they aren't just playing along because handcuffs are a universal time out rule' #because yeah. i did think that everyone was just really polite and chill about the universal handcuff timeout rule... #and not that they actually just... couldn't get out #imagine not being able to fold your hands into a perfect cylinder the same size as your wrist tho. wild. how u live like that? #it took me five minutes to get out of the handcuffs CAUSE THOSE FUCKERS ARE SHARP #anyway i don't wanna know why my aunt had those #im neurodivergent i dont ask questions