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maplesyrupsainz · 4 months

Text

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙do-over | MV1˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: max verstappen x fashion designer!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, "enemies" (exes) to lovers

warnings: i just be making shit up fr

summary: in which they meet again and rekindle their relationship much to the delight of their fans

a/n: tbh i got no idea how to do enemies to lovers so i went for like a past messy breakup nd rekindle of the relationship now they're older nd more mature or wtvr let me know what u think!!! this was a req but it was super duper vague so i jus pulled this together nd pls fr bare in mind tht im not a max verstappen fan by any stretch lol

request!!!: Enemies to lovers with Max please

my masterlist

alternate ending

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, yoursister, and 83,238 others

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and 927,194 others

yourusername heard you need inspiration

view all 18,293 comments

yourbff my girl forever nd ever ⭐️

liked by yourusername

user1 new fan gained

user2 omg i rmmbr her from when she dated max & now im just rediscovering her she's sooo gorgeous wtaf

user3 i can't believe max fumbled her

user4 my competition for her hand jus tripled

user5 quadrupled more like

user6 max verstappen found dead

user7 cant wait for a new collection

yourusername posted a story

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, and 318,928 others

ynupdates I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

yourusername i love u 🫀🫀

user8 u are fr the coolest girl in the world

yoursister so proud of you 🥹

yourusername stop it you'll make me emotional 😭

user9 you are so so loved

user10 nothing you could've said would put us off supporting u forever🤟

messages ->

instagram ->

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, yourusername, and 719,948 others

maxverstappen1 life lately ⏰

view all 15,283 comments

user11 Y/N IN THE LIKES I REPEAT Y/N IN THE LIKES

user12 no freaking way

user13 i need to know what's going on have they spoken since the podcast ?!!

user14 exes to lovers arc incoming🥹

user15 he's so cute

landonorris why is your comment section so full up of drama max

maxverstappen1 i didnt ask for this

user16 max is so tired of us LOL

user17 not sorry

user18 i love drama

user19 max acting dumb like he didnt post this to get her attention

ynupdates

liked by user17, user3, and 18,294 others

ynupdates y/n y/l/n spotted today outside a cafe with ex beau max verstappen, following the release of a podcast episode on which y/n discussed her feelings on how the relationship played out. the meet up has come after they were seen liking each other's instagram stories & posts, however the discussion they were having reportedly seemed heated and as though they were having a disagreement. rumours/theories of them rekindling their romance were rife but what is the consensus now? we are sending our love to y/n as always!

view all 6,183 comments

user20 omg what is happening

user21 im so surprised she even met with him

user22 he wants her back & she cant deny him bc every girl has a soft spot for their first love

user23 agree but tbh it's probs good tht they argued or wtvr coz she isnt giving in to him she's making sure he fights for her 🤷

user24 some of u guys are delulu af

user25 what i would give to be a fly on the wall in that convo

user26 i hope he's changed or at least fr lets her move on

yourusername

liked by yourbff, maxverstappen1, and 798,373 others

yourusername never lonely 🖤

view all 6,183 comments

user27 omg first time we've seen y/n with her guitar in ages

user28 the guitar omg

yourbff best girl in the world

yourusername i love u 🫀🫀

yoursister hard at work or hardly working?

yourusername shut up you

danielricciardo you better not be drinking tequila without me!

yourbff we wouldn't dream of it

user29 omg daniel publicly being friends with y/n !!?

user30 something is changing here

user31 there's something in the air 🤔

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, danielricciardo, and 88,294 others

danielricciardo hang tight

yourusername lol thanks??

user32 send locaysh 🤟🤟

user33 we miss u y/n

user34 omgggggg i cant wait for more designs from u

maxverstappen1 posted a story

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and 213,293 others

yourbff MAX WHAT ARE YOU DOING

maxverstappen1 getting coffee what does it look like

yourbff i know you're not taking that to y/n

danielricciardo if y/bff/n msgs u ignore her

maxverstappen1 👍

user35 SOMETHING IS HAPPENING HERE

user36 is this for y/n

user37 this plus y/n's story .... the maths is mathing

user38 No freaking way

yourusername posted a story

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, and 134,293 others

charles_leclerc im on the edge of my seat!!

yourusername 😭 hi charles

yourbff I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING Y/N U GUYS ARE NOT SLICK

danielricciardo ignore y/bff/n

yourusername done & done

user39 im spinning around

user40 i've connected the dots

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourbff posted a story

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 22,293 others

danielricciardo have you forgiven me yet

yourbff i'll forgive max before i forgive you

maxverstappen1 have you forgiven me?

yourbff what do you think max emilian

yourusername you are not mad at all

yourbff of course not. i always loved max

yourusername 😜

ynupdates posted a story

liked by user22, user8, and 84,283 others

user45 oh my god it's real

user46 NO WAY IS SHE BACK IN THE PADDOCK

user47 & she said she couldn't ever be just friends with her first love...

ynupdates NO YOU'RE RIGHT

user48 they are soulmates for real

user49 i can't believe all it took was a podcast episode

yourusername posted a story

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 548,293 others

charles_leclerc i will say i am shocked but happy beyond words to have you back!

yourusername ❤️❤️ catch up soon!

danielricciardo she's back for goood

yourusername don't speak too soon

yourbff can i come

yourusername max said only if you forgive him in writing

yourbff 😑

user50 shameless 🥹🥹🥹

user51 YOU GOT THAT GLOW OF A NEW OLD RELATIONSHIP

ynupdates not you trying to pretend you aren't ecstatic

user52 i want whatever max verstappen has

ynupdates posted a story

liked by maxverstappen1, user44, and 128,103 others

user53 the lol

ynupdates trying to pretend i care about racing😕😕😕

user54 he's down bad for her always has been always will be

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 828,045 others

yourusername weekend off

view all 5,921 comments

user55 they're just friends they're just friends they're just friends

user56 i dont believe it for a second

yourbff get back to work

yourusername im busy right now

yourbff oh i wonder what with

user57 max max max max

user58 she gets prettier everytime i see her

maxverstappen1 so glad to have you back on the paddock y/n ❤️

yourusername glad to be back !

user59 they r so stiff

user60 trying to trick us into thinking they arent in love

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, and 982,193 others

yourusername all the good in my life

tagged: maxverstappen1, yourbff

view all 21,283 comments

user64 SHE LOOKS SOOO HAPPY

ynupdates her smile😭😭😭

yourbff the way you're glowing

liked by yourusername

maxverstappen1 i love you ❤️

yourusername i love u too 🥹🫶

user65 i'll never recover

user66 the new (old) f1 it couple

user67 best wag of all time

user68 cant wait to buy all of y/n's new collection

user69 literally same it looks soo cool

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 1,284,083 others

maxverstappen1 i won

tagged: yourusername

view all 34,838 comments

ynupdates omg she is so hot what the hell

maxverstappen1 you're telling me

user70 OH MY GODDD

user71 her in max's car oh myyyy

yourusername wow

yourusername i love u fr

maxverstappen1 ❤️

danielricciardo you're welcome everyone

yourbff you do not get credit for this

danielricciardo have you forgiven me yet

maxverstappen1 and me?

yourbff no never

yourusername tell the truth y/bff/n

yourbff ok fine i was never mad

THE END 🤍

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #smau #f1 smau #f1 x reader #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #mv1 #mv1 imagine #mv1 x reader #maddie's smau

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enlighten3d · 25 days

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(this might become a tradition lmao of me throwing oc lore at you while you’re probs alseep) okok so the main families in the story are the beckett’s (we know all about them), the biswar’s (janette’s family) and the rivera luzardo’s (carmela’s family)! there’s another one but their not as important to the story at the moment!

Basically janette’s family’s deal/literally janette’s life story (so sorry this is so long akdhdl) is:

-Mum continued the family cult and roped janette’s dad/her husband into it

-When janette and her sister were born, janette’s dad up and left with janette’s sister Mary (name to be changed btw) and janette didn’t have contact with them until she was in her early 30’s

-Her mum made her life shit (its a cult what did you expect tbh/silly) meaning she was very reliant on her mum for most of her teenage years/early twenties

-Janette killed her best friend Huan Lin (cult reasons)

-Then her mum (who’s name is Diana) got really sick and was given a year left to live and janette,who was 25, was like ‘oh thank god i’m out of here’ and left before she could see her mum die

-And basically spent her late twenties running around the cities, trying to catch up on everything she’d missed in her very closeted life (music, alcohol, friends, work etc)

-Then her guilt caught up to her in the form of her best friend’s ghost and her mum’s ghost and went back home to the town that she was raised in to dismantle the cult

-that is basically where the main story starts but the dismantling of the cult isn’t going well (she’s basically started it up again)

YEAH SO. THATS HER LIFE? I was going to go into the other families but i will do that laterrr (janette was stuck in my head today) but yeah yeah as always any questions are welcomeee

yes this might and i am all for it, i love waking up to see Lore and eating it and replying to it like hours after ive seen it bcs i procrastinate too much

mary... why do i get the feeling that something Bad happened to her. its either that or she left and never heard anything abt this ever again and now lives happily on like... a fucking farm or some shite.

was janettes reunion w mary and her dad okay... were they Weird.. why didnt her dad take her too.. was it the courts. i bet it was the fucking courts.

okay but also DID JANETTES DAD (does he have a name? if not can i name him charles. /nf) K N O W ABT THE CULT STUFF?? HOW DID HE AND DIANA MEET?? DID HE FALL IN LOVE W THIS GIRL, GET MARRIED, EXPECT A HAPPY LIFE, AND BOOM, WEIRD CULT SHIT. SORRY BRO, YOUR SKINS BOUTTA BE STOLEN (yes ik that they (prolly) dont steal skin, its just funny to say it like that). or did he Know what he was getting into and think 'i can fix her'...... stares at him 👁️ What Is Up With You...

does mary know anything at ALL abt the cult......

.are the Cult Reasons the same reasons that carmela cut off ryans arm (i THINK those are the right names..). Are They. Are They.

the ghosts.. does everyone get a ghost ? or is it just the cults/ppl who got sacrificed for weird cult bullshit. can only ppl who are.. oh i cant think of the word so ill just say Attached to them see them? or it just everyone. or yeah, is it a sort of 'you knew this person + were instrumental in their death' thing.. (do ppl who died and then got resurrected (ahem, janette, ahem) get ghosts. do they see ghostly versions of themselves... (this is getting too close to the dsmp /silly) probably not, right. MORE OF A HEATHERS-STYLE THING YEAH?? GETTING TORMENTED??

bro the cult would have disappeared if you didnt Meddle........ oh well, L

does she get haunted by the ghosts to this day (i think she does?? you mentioned smth like that near the start i think)

damn janette. thats some shit indeed...

#asks #am i allowed to suggest names for mary or #i have so many questions abt janettes dad #and abt the cult rituals and shit #HOW DOES THE CULT ACTUALLY FUNCTION.#DOES THEIR WORSHIP POWER THE SPIRITS IN ANY WAY???????#👁️#anygays thank you for the food (:#gods my tendency to ramble in tags is back #it was much much worse than this back when i did tumblr rw rp i promise you #ive hit the tag limit soooooo many times #murder lesbians

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helluvapurf · 11 months

Text

*claps* Just finished the newest HB dropped today, lets talk about it! :>

TL;DR version: Found it a... "decent" ride overall (prob among the "better" eps of the S2 lineup so far), though nothing really to write home about compared to other fave eps-

Longer Version: *warning ahead for spoilers*

So, positives out of the way first!

-Striker's back again... and YAY, didn't end up dying after all 🙏😭Was kinda scared with him going against Stolas they were gonna start watering him down to a "mwaha I'm macho~" cliche, but imo he remained pretty competent from start to finish (and even still carried that whole "f*ck the monarchy" attitude towards Goetias while interacting with Stolas (whilst simultaneously working under Stella)... which I really hope the show builds on more for any future appearances down the line)

-M&M themselves got to lead the show in chasing Striker/fighting him (no Blitz or Loona intervention whatsoever), which was also pretty refreshing! 👍 I enjoyed their antics in the Wrath ring and the eventual fight scene itself proved a fairly entertaining one too (*that music change midway though lol*)

-Ngl, I was kinda worried that with Stolas' "damsel" bit it was gonna get old quick... but I'm pleasantly surprised to see the guy actually bite back fairly strong in his own way (both with words and a bit with physical strength too like the stone-stare attempt). And with the inclusion of that "heavenly" rope voiding his powers, it helped offset him feeling too "woobified" compared to past eps .3.

-Blitz and Loona stuck together throughout their visit to the hospital, which proved sweet & funny to watch too ^^. Always nice to see some vulnerable sides in this girl aside from just being moody all the time imo.

-We finally get Andrealphus' canon debut, and he proved to be a fairly decent villain himself too. Being smart enough to recognize the risk in killing off Stolas too quickly (esp. while Via's still his only other heir), and seems to be generally manipulative in steering his sister in the "right" direction (while talking down to her at the same time like a ditzy child), which I'm curious to see played out as well as the season progresses further.

-Bit more of a "minor" point, admittedly... but yay! A Via mention~ 🥺Looks like she'll eventually be more involved in Andre & Stella's plot in the far future, so that'll be interesting to see~ :o

Now... for the negatives? ...Weeeell-

-Stella... just, *sighs*. What more can I say about her that others haven't done so before? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️While I never really minded her being a bitchy villain tbh, I was expecting at least a little competency written in to her role trying to tear Stolas (+Blitz) apart... but, now? She's... literally just so one-tracked & immature onto wanting Stolas dead (not even reacting to Andre mentioning her daughter during their "plan"), that even her own brother is calling her out of how stupid she's being...? 😐Just... yikes, man...

And like, even all this I wouldn't so much mind if HB was a strictly comedic cartoon/Stella herself was just a one-off threat (like Martha & those old guys from the "Cherub" ep)... but with Stella clearly being framed as the new "big bad" of the series after first calling that hit on Stolas back in "Harvest Moon" (framed all dramatic-like both there and later on in "The Circus")... its otherwise embarrassing that Stella's about as complex as a slice of white bread... 😒😒

(*Heck, if you think about it I don't get why we couldn't have Andrealphus be Stolas' evil ex since he's clearly gonna be given more substance than his sister by the looks of it (esp if those potentially dangerous ice powers of his are any indicator)... but, idk I'm just rambling at this point lol >>*)

-I feel like some of the emotional beats didn't... quite hit as they should've, at points? Like, that last shot of Stolas browsing through his phone messages w/ Blitz seemed like it was trying to address what happened in "Ozzie's" (with Stolas even seeming to respect Blitz' boundaries better while their "deal" is still ongoing)... but then with the sad music playing and Stolas just turning away all sadly at the end, I wasn't sure whether to take that as hopeful or... just angsty, I guess? .-.

-In terms of the humor this time, while def a step-up from the last couple eps... I feel like some of the jokes didn't land as strongly compared to others? Like, for every decent bits like Striker (then later Millie lol) telling off the annoying music band, others like the... erm, "endowed" Striker statue & the karen fight Blitz had at the hospital just felt a bit too... "on-the-nose", I guess? 🤷‍♀️

-While I don't really mind this being a shorter episode, pacing-wise I feel like got a bit rushed at certain points (Like, I'm surprised Andre just kinda randomly showed up right at the first few seconds with how "hyped up" his initial concept was lol). Which could easily be fixed by just tweaking down some of the unnecessary filler bits imo.

#helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss review

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astudyincontrasts · 11 months

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Here’s a little confession for you, study <3

I used to read x reader fics as a kid (probs at 10-12?) but since it isn’t very acceptable even in some fandom spaces, I stopped. When I found your writing, I still felt a little weird about it and almost ashamed? But your writing has given me back the joy I felt as a kid reading silly x reader Naruto fics in the best of ways???

Like. I remember reading Penance for the first time, and pressing to get notifications whenever you post to keep track of your writing? And seeing the “study has posted ‘Penance - Chapter 10’” gave me so much joy. I can’t even express it with words. Seeing you post anything, writing or not, just makes me so happy. <3

And today I was rereading some old Penance asks, and my dad asked what I was grinning about and I just dismissed him but he said something along the lines of “it’s nice to see you smile, anyway.” I know your writing isn’t, like, the cure to depression (actually it might be), but. Just. Finding such joy in reading again after years of not doing so, and after years of depression,,,,,,,,,,,,,, girl (gender neutral) do you understand the power you hold?

I’m just rambling but I wanted you to know that your writing literally changed my life for the better. <3 I hope you’re well and I’m sending you all the best <3

you come to my house, you make me cry my own tears?? ?

No sorry you get back here RIGHT NOW and get hugged for like three straight hours. IMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW GET BETWEEN THESE ARMS OR SO HELP ME

Fuck. You got me good, fam. I’m a little shaky-handed emotional rn. This is such a sweet thing to come tell me, and more than feeling proud that you liked my work, I’m proud of you for finding that spark of joy in your life again, for smiling and being excited and sharing in the world. Thank you for this and for being so incredibly lovely 🖤

When it comes to x reader fics I’ll be honest with you, I never wrote a single one in the many many years I’ve been writing. I took a very long hiatus from tumblr and writing after the porn ban gutted my friend group on here and Arcane kinda dragged me back to tumblr after I fell in love with it. I wanted to start writing again after devouring Gaybybirth’s entire Viktor library and when I took a look at the landscape of fic writing, x readers were literally all I saw, so I figured what the hell, that’s the popular format now I might as well. I get the appeal of it too; you can more easily slip yourself into the story and enjoy the canon character you want to bang without having to wrestle with someone else’s OC standing between you and your beloved blorbo. I’m not sure it’s the best format for my work but I enjoy it and so far it’s been loads of fun to play with. I’m definitely shifting slowly, moving away from y/n use which tbh feels kind of childish and awkward and interrupts the flow, and more toward first person perspective OC vibes that people can still feel comfortable reading as themselves.

None of that matters though. What matters is how I’m going to be thinking about this sweet, wonderful message for a very long time, and how happy I am that something I made could mean so much to you. “It’s nice to see you smile” … that’s a pretty awesome power, but I think it also belongs to you 🖤🖤🖤🖤

#asks #penance #😭🖤#don’t look at me my eyes are sweating

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gins-potter · 11 months

Note

Are you all caught up on the OC finales? What did you think?

I caught up today! I thought they were fine to really good!!

Med was really solid. Surprising no one I'm absolutely heartbroken that Will is leaving but I'm glad he went out in typical Will fashion, had a really nice scene with Sharon at the end, and we got Manstead endgame. Liliana and Dr Charles are back together! They're so flipping cute, I love that for them. Dasher are doing Dasher things, I had to LOL when Hannah was like HARD NO about dating Archer and he was so offended. I think Med's gonna return to somewhat normal next season, probs the first half will be dealing with whoever buys the hospital and convincing them to turn it not-for-profit again. The only question marks for me are whether Maggie and Dr Song stay. I think if they continue to do O.R 2.0 things, Dr Song will, and I think they've left it a bit open for Maggie depending on Marlynne's health and what she decides. I was a little surprised they didn't address it more in the finale about the possibility of her leaving since the episode before made it feel like much more of a sure thing. A solid episode!

Fire was... kinda meh if I'm being honest. Like it's not unusual for me to multi-task while I'm watching tv, but I still pay attention to what's happening with the plot, but I was dicking around on my phone while watching Fire and kept realising that I was fully not paying attention to what was going on and kept having to go back and rewatch. Like, it just felt like lots of talking ha ha. I think where we go from here is super dependent on whether Taylor comes back next season or not. Feels like they're setting up Carver and Violet, which I'm not against, but haven't fully let go of Carver in his feels over Stella either, so if T.K doesn't come back and Stellaride break up (BIG IF NO ONE THROW TOMATOES) they might continue to pursue that as well. I'm more and more on the Stella/Carver train (NO ONE HATE ME) so I'm super fine with those angsty looks he's sending her lmao. Super here for the little friendship between Kylie and Ritter and very keen for Kylie to become the new candidate (that has to be where this is going). Sylvie's adopting the baby, yay for her I guess, I mean, like I said in another ask, I'm pretty sure I know this is heading for a Kara exit, which I'm not opposed to, so I'm just very.... okay? about this storyline. It feels rushed, but it's fine, and I get a Brettsey endgame (probably) so fine. And Mouch... maybe I'm stupidly optimistic but I don't think he's dying. I think Christian is leaving the show, but I don't think Mouch is dying. Idek why tbh. It's a bit anticlimatic if he does die tbh. Like he didn't even get shot, it was a random piece of shrapnel. Idk, I think he'll probs survive and then retire. Maybe I don't think they'll kill him because it would mean that PD also has to change Trudy's characterisation over on that show. Like imagine her husband dies and they never even mention it on PD 💀💀💀

PD was the best episode imo. The pacing and writing was great, even though I'd seen bits and pieces of it already online I still felt drawn in by it and I really felt the tension. I felt like Adam, Kim, and Kevin all got to shine. Hailey and Voight not so much, sad for Hailey, get fucked Voight. Absolute snaps for Kevin getting to shoot that racist mother fucker, and I know he's just a kid but lmao fuck Callum. Fuck his mum too and I hope she goes down for some of this shit. One of my only question marks is why Torres wasn't in the ep? I can't tell if it's a weird writing choice to keep leaving him out of episodes or if the actor has some sort of other commitment keeping him from being in every episode, but I feel like they either need to commit to his character being part of the team, or drop him and bring someone who will be around all the time. Burzek slayed as always, inject that moment of Kim on the phone and absolutely sprinting to get to Adam into his veins. Kim in the ambulance, and at the hospital, "Are you his partner", "You're with Adam" "I'm with Adam" yeah girl you tell that bitch. You ARE with Adam. I mean, as with every other Burzek shipper I'm annoyed that they clearly filmed a Burzek scene at the hospital and then cut it. I hope they release it as a deleted scene at some point bc I need it. I've seen the theory that they cut it because it shows Adam's alright and Paddy might leave the show.... I mean.... maybe? I doubt it. It's more likely they cut it bc the show has a hard on for Hank Voight and wanted to end on him. I think it would have been a better ending to end with Burzek because it would have been a really full circle, cyclical ending from where they started the season, and the episode, but, what can you do? I'm sure someone will write the fic. Still, despite all that, a really great episode and end to this arc.

Sorry, this got long but yeah, those are my thoughts. Med 6/10, Fire 4/10, PD 8/10.

#oc spoilers #one chicago #chicago med #chicago fire #chicago pd #answered

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nopressurenostress · 8 months

Text

Crashing: back to work

I’ve been at work for a week and the fatigue has hit quite hard. I’ve been showing a new colleague the ropes and pushed too hard. I wasn’t getting any warning signs until the last moment and then down I went on the familiar downward cycle. I want to go to the gym today but I know I need to slow down so I don’t enter burn out. Things I have learnt.

🥀I notice my warning signs better these days

🥀6 weeks off is enough to forget how to pace! I work in a school so it’s a massive change to routine!

🥀 accepting help is getting a little easier

🥀 taking responsibility and stepping in to call the shots of when to go home is getting a bit easier

🥀 the shame is lessening

The smaller warning signs that a fatigue attack (or whatever I’m meant to call it) that I don’t ignore now are :

🍄 feeling dizzy even though I’m hydrated and have eaten

🍄 waking up more tired than I usually do (I find it hard to remember to compare)

🍄 working out how physically far away things are comes to the top of my priorities

🍄 it is harder to concentrate, sit up and I walk slower and stay closer to the walls

🍄 things start to feel a lot heavier that I can normally lift with ease

🍄 I start to count the hours left in the day

🍄 I start to feel nauseous and achey - general malaise when I know I am not going down with something

Things I do to start helping myself out:

🍇 sit the fuck down when I can

🍇 not feel bad for asking people to carry stuff and open things for me (honestly all the doors are fire doors at work and it’s not great)

🍇 prioritise everything: decide what’s urgent to do and what can be delegated and what can wait - better one day now than a week because I pushed from fatigue into pain

🍇 whack out the stick - deal with the comments by just steamrollering them with other stuff or jokes or if it’s the kids and/or I cba to explain I normally say something like “my body gets more tired than my brain so I need help” - kids are actually better at taking an answer tbh

🍇 decide when I will probably be done and organise the “exit plan” - I used to push past the exhaustion point and learn the hard way and also it ended up creating more of an issue tbh. The illness being the issue - I was trying my best and was not intending to “cause” more issues by overstaying my fatigue - but I know it better now. People know what happens if I stick about - they don’t need to for it to be ok I am going. It helps somewhat. But I didn’t need to “show them proof” for it to be valid. This is a hard point.

🍇 nibble food. Drink Diet Coke for the nausea (should probs be peppermint tea but I don’t like it). Hydrate.

When I get in from a lift home I :

🎒dump everything. Do it another time - not important right now

🥤drink and snack integral - probably leave a wake of chaos but it is so much better to wake up to than hunger and thirst. Bedside table

🚰 wash face if the spoons are available

🛏️ Collapse in bed and try again another day

That’s the routine for now. Maybe one day it’ll be better - I hope so. It’s a hard job to do without fatigue. So I hope for a less demanding job one day that still gives me fulfilment. But I am so thankful for my patient coworkers who give me a lift home and keep an eye on me on the bad days. I do the best I can. I hope it shows. I hope my presence helps even on these days. Also I hope this is not a crash and I can be back up and running by the weekend. We’ll have to see.

#recovery #mine #self help #self care #mental health #self awareness #self improvement #adhd #fnd #fatigue #functional neurological disorder #chronic fatigue #chronic illness #care plan #working chronic illness

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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I was checking an oldish tag on here and saw some of your old asks about Stas where people told you everything she was doing, full transparency and you defended her like no other. Everything they spoke about came to light and we are now or have been seeing since Europe everything and more that people mentioned . So im curious (maybe you’ve said before but i didnt see it) what made you change your stance and open your eyes to her odd behavior especially towards Colby? The asks were pretty blunt and straight forward and you still found a way to curve every answer.

I checked the tag btw because i noticed today that not only did she promote Katrina on twitter, but made a tiktok to her song, told people shes her biggest fan, and has been liking a bunch of C4 edits and pics. I remembered seeing asks talking about her never supporting Kat only Colby so after seeing that i came back here to try and find what else those asks said and saw everything everyone has been saying is pretty legit.

i did say a while back why my feelings changed for stas, but i'll just state them again i guess lol

also holy shit this is long sorry about that lmao

so, originally, when ppl would come to me saying why they didn't like stas, to me it didn't feel like it was a legitimate reason. and i felt that way bc they would come on here, talk about her, but give no proof to their claims. just say that "oh i heard this" or "i think she did this" or "did you see she did this" and to me, none of it was enough proof to throw her off the island, so to speak. i mean, some anons talked about her liking edits as proof enough that she was shady or up to no good. ppl would use her likes on twitter as main example of "see! look how bad she is" and the tweet in question was either not there (bc she probs unliked it) when i would go looking for it or if it was about colby and her… it was harmless and not something like "colby and her should be together. they have something going on".

also, no offense to anyone that sent me asks in during that time period, but i don't exactly have the most faith in the fandom towards ppl outwardly hating on a girl bc she's close to colby. it's happen countless times. the amount of times i've been told that the reason a girl that colby's friends with or hooking up with or JUST STANDING NEAR is bad bc "she just gives me bad vibes"… let's just say, if i had a nickle, i'd be a rich woman. so when it started happening with her, i didn't think much of it. thought of it as jealousy or just over-protective fans.

but things started to change a bit, i would say, by summer. i think after one too many trips to vegas, my liking for her was dwindling. idk if she did something or what (bc at this point i don't remember), but the vibe changed around her and what she was doing. at least to me. not to mention, no matter what she did, it was drama. and that itself was exhausting.

then colby made that tiktok with her. and when he started deleting comments shipping the two of them together, that's when i knew oh, he really doesn't want to be shipped with her and i thought this was him actually laying down the law and finally putting his foot down to all the shipping that goes on between him and stas.

then europe happened. and i fucking KNEW this trip wasn't gonna end well. i felt it in my bones. or maybe i'm just really good at picking up patterns lol

what first started to gross me out, was finding out about her mom posting things. and look, i'm all for a supportive mother. and tbh idk if her mom ever responded to fans. but what concerned me was how much info she was sharing publicly. and then how many fans were searching for her mom, finding her page, and basically narrowing down where they were in brussels and all that. snc have been stalked before, have had their house broken into before, what they DO NOT NEED is someone with them basically giving their every location just bc those fans are subscribers.... or random ppl on her mom's facebook.

that's when i also noticed that her roommate was at least cognizant of fandom drama that had happened not too long ago bc she liked a tweet about it while it was happening. that turned me off quite a bit as well. and i know a lot of ppl bring up stas posting the video from colby's bedroom and honestly…. ngl that flew under my radar. it just didn't feel like anything to me at the time.

and then finally: tomorrowland. the amount of fans that upticked their talks of colby and stas when they were basically forced to hang out with one another the whole time bc kat and sam wanted their own time away (which is fine, don't get me wrong. but it just really didn't help the already existing issue of colby and stas being shipped) was super fucking annoying. i basically was getting upwards of 10 asks a day, and that's a light guesstimate, about the situation. and while i don't mind talking about something…. i don't want to talk about it that much.

then, the malishka thing happened. i literally ignored it on here bc i just couldn't talk about it. at first, i was angry at colby. like why would he post this this is so stupid. but as time has gone on, i've basically come to the lovely realization that stas is the one that posted it (also, according to some whispers i've heard she basically told her subs that she did. idk tho that's alleged). realistically, colby doesn't understand russian. he probably filmed her, showed her the video, and she typed that and posted it. she also had earlier post the pic on his story of her face zoomed in. at least, that's what i personally believe. and when asked what malishka meant, she probably lied or just didn't tell him bc he probably didn't rewatch his story.

bc something to note is that they had terrible wifi in tomorrowland. so he might not have even known about this whole thing until a day later or so.

and what made all of it worst was the fans' reaction on twitter. and the fact that a lot of the fans that came out and congratulated colby and stas for "finally being together" after "all this time of us knowing" were both ppl i followed and ppl my age……….. i basically was about done with the situation. and then of course she had to like a tweet about the malishka thing. and that solidified it for me.

and if THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, they came home from the trip and colby hung out with her one more time right before moving to vegas. he literally told us on xplrclub that he was gonna be THIRDWHEELING in vegas (aka laying it on AS THICK AS HE COULD that he was single), and that fucking night stas told her subs that she was going on a date. and wouldn't you believe it, but it was her and colby hanging out ! along with others, but no one saw them on her story. just her and colby.

after that, colby mentioned multiple times about being single, being young, and wanting to have fun while in vegas. and i think that's when the tides personally turned for stas. she had fun playing house with colby in europe, she had her fun of living the fantasy of what it would be like to be colby's gf, to be Y/N. but reality set in when they came home. i think the last night they hung out, i think she confessed how she felt, and he rejected her. and look, she has every right to be upset about being rejected. i get being rejected, especially by someone you feel you have a connection to, SUCKS ASS. i'm not denying that. however, you caused your own delusions. colby was literally hooking up with six flags girl multiple times this past year, LITERALLY BROUGHT HER TO A HANG OUT SESSION WITH THE CORE FOUR, …..and you think he was into you???? the same man that deleted comments about the two of you together????????? the same man that FOR YEARS has begged the fandom to stop shipping him with every girl he's friends with??????? that man… was into you?

i mean, he went on a (assumed) date with a girl in vegas and stas tweeted like four things that night about being hurt or whatever (idk at this point i don't remember all the details) and then on top of that deleted said tweets. maybe something happened between them. i doubt it wholeheartedly tho. i think she loved the fantasy of them being an item, but he wanted no parts of it.

bc that's the thing: colby loves to tease us sometimes. like with amber. he loves making the fans freak out. but when he does shit like that, he chose to be part of the game. this is the only time he asked not to be included…. and she did it anyway. i don't think he knew the extent of breadcrumbs she was leaving for fans to speculate. i think when he saw what happened with the malishka shit (bc again he probs didn't see it until a day or two later bc of wifi and just wanting to enjoy his vacation) i think stas left a soured taste in his mouth. and then she made it worst by telling fans that her and him were going on a date…. and that was enough for him to be done with her. that's why at kat's bday party he sat as far from her as possible and seemed to not want any parts of the party. and that's why she's talking about being rejected now. bc i personally think they are done being friends as of rn.

i mean… it would make sense too. bc the moment he was hurt by what stas did, who did he run back to after all this time? shea, the original stas lmao

and as for stas all of a sudden being up kat's ass, to be as bluntly honest as i can be, i do not fucking care. i've gotten a bunch of asks about it. i can't be more frank than literally telling yall i don't care. i'm tired of talking about stas. bc even tho i don't like her, and i do think she is a bit of a snake, not everything she does is newsworthy or needs to be talked about. she liked something that implied feelings for colby? who cares. she wrote a poem about him? who cares. she wants to leave comments about how much she loves kat? omg who cares. we all know at this point she wants attention.

STOP GIVING IT TO HER.

#ask #personal #i'm not angry i'm just disappointed lol

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kpophubb · 2 years

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Morning baby 💗 💌

I hope you slept well? :) I have my training in 20 min , but I really want to write to you 💗❤️‍🩹❤️

First of all you haven’t offered me in any ways, I’m sorry that you felt that way or maybe the way I wrote was quite triggering 🥹 but you are fine , MORE THAN FINE ACTUALLY. I just read your response and literally im so happy if I actually received a real hug from u🌞🙈💖

Thank you for your understanding and efforts and just the love you put in your messages, it is really really precious to me 🥹❤️

I actually wish I could train myself to control these feelings and the need of affirmation from others. Life really doesn’t make sense for me anymore. I want to give up , but these 2 months I feel like I grew stronger and there is still something holding me back , maybe I’m afraid of dying idk . ., but im tired of living you know ? It’s so exhausting and pointless

thank you for being my safe place now , being the person I can trust and open up , I don’t want to change for the worse … and tbh I just exist doing tasks on a daily basis , thank you for being open and accepting… literally 😭🥹🥹 AHHH OMG I FEEL MY EYES GEETING WATERY NOOO🙈🙈🤧

You are very good person , amazing and I hope you will have SOOOO MANY GOOD EXPERIENCES:) also I hope my emotions and things I share aren’t influencing your day / mood 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’ll add bebe songs to our playlists :)) I love first 2 , I’m not sure if I have heard 3rd one

About book yes def :) ahowww me when u get them :))

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 🥺❤️

What are your plans for today ? Have the most wonderful day 🏞🏞🏞

~ 🐁 :)

My 🐁 anonie ~☺️💗 noooo omg I’m not even offended in the slightest so dw!!! Your emotions and rants really DO NOT affect my mood at all. Yk the reason I chose my occupation and major of medicine? It’s bc I always wanted to grow up to be kind and help people around me. I feel valid about myself when I can make others feel comforted and smile so I LOVE getting your messages and lifting u up!💖 and about being exhausted and feeling like giving up on life, I mean don’t even think it’s coming from someone really positive minded and full of happiness, but it’s coming from someone who comes from a place of being suicidal and hopeless in life too. There was once a point in my life where I just existed, cried myself to sleep everyday, and would indulge in self harm cause I hated myself and hated life. I didn’t want to live cause I felt like nothing good could come out of it. Back then, if someone told me that things are gonna get better one day and I’ll be really happy in the future, I would’ve never believed them. Heck, I’d feel like they’re all lying cz my life was so messed up I didn’t even believe I could wake up to a tomorrow where I could be at peace or smile even if it’s for a second. But after constant fighting and hanging on for 2-3 years, I came where I did today. Where I’m happy, smiling, ambitious again and thankful for all the bad things that I went through bc they made me stronger and brought me to where I am today. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” That’s the truth. I’m sure you will see your rainbow soon just hang in there. By saying hanging in there I mean cry, feel sad, fall down, get tired, doubt yourself but crawl back up again with the remaining of your strength. And never feel like there’s no hope cause there will ALWAYS be hope no matter how ugly situation you’re faced with. Maybe not now, maybe not soon, but someday you will DEFINITELY be happy and look back and be grateful for enduring it all. 💓

And aww 🥺 idk if I’m a good person yet but I try to be and improve myself everyday. Baby steps towards my dream person slowly!💖 and I’m glad I can make you feel safe. There’s nth more reassuring than having someone who listens to everything you gotta say without judging you and understanding you, ik. As for what I’m gonna do today, aaah idk yet. 😩 probs gonna just lie down and eat a lot. Bc my books haven’t arrived yet and and I bought a new makeup palette a few days ago?🤣 I just wanna try it out even tho I’m not that much into makeup. I barely wear it! And IM EXCITED BC MY SKZ ALBUM IS OTW and I wanna order manifesto:day 1 enhypen albums!! I saved money for that 🥹 but the kpop store isn’t replying to my msgs yet and I’m so impatient.🥲 I love youuuu saurr much too (says it in jakey’s aussie accent) and have a great day❤️🥰 DID YOU KNOW BEBE REXHA DID A REMIX W ITZY??????!! THAT TOO OF ONE OF MY FAV SONGS OF HERS ITS GONNA BE RELEASED TMRW IM SHAKING IM SO EXCITEDD!!!😭😭😭😭I’m in a really good mood today bc my jakey is all recovered from covid! Man, I prayed for my love so so much and I couldn’t be more grateful to god that he’s healthy and active again!💗💗🤲🏻

#mia’s asks #🐁 anonie #❤️💖🤗🥰#cat pics always cz I LOVEE cats 🥰#and you seem to be cute like one

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somewhere-out-there-maybe · 18 hours

Text

Tonight Was Not Fun

Tonight was not fun at all, no, wait, some parts were.

I asked him about his ex and countered back with mine.

I said it to hurt him because I question sometimes if he did cheat on me with her but honestly, who the fuck cares...

I haven't really talked to J in a bit, he texted me when drunk, but ignored it. Sad tbh, like bro, I'm trying not to drink, but I'm no saint.

I regret what I said but the nails in the coffin.

I'm done trying to pursue him I think.

Just like everything, I'm always the one reaching out. It really got to me today. I was thinking of my bio mom, and realized she hasn't reached out.

I don't really mean much to her. I'm just someone she gave birth to and that's it.

I couldn't imagine treating my own like that. I'm always worried about her.

Man, let the trauma come through.

Suppose I'm used to being abandoned.

I don't know if I can try again...

He's done with me and I'm used to this.... Abandonment.

Nope, not gonna cry... Nope, I'm crying.

I need therapy.

I always project blame on myself, but never think about what they've done.

I'm used to being the scapegoat I guess.

Pretty sad actually...

So, dear you, I'm the reason everything didn't work out.

I'll take the blame so your fucking ego can be okay...

It's not like you ever thought you had problems or you've never hurt me before...

I'll always be the villain... I'm just a soulless human being I guess...

What's fucked is my alter personality came out because of the stress and depression...

That's not good, it means I'm super depressed... Stressed. All the emotions.

She comes out when I can't deal with shit, mostly ptsd...

Fuck... I don't wanna think of this tbh..

I just wish we were chilling rn, watching a movie, smoking a joint, and not having a god damn care in the world.

Instead, I'm blocked.

I sound like a record on repeat with the blocked thing.

Prob change my number and shit soon anyway.

Not for the ex or whatever, for other personal reasons.

I won't disclose that though... I just want peace.

My life has been chaotic for so long, I just want peace...

I wish he & I could be chill but we're two tornados colliding..

We're a perfect storm, beautiful yet disastrous.

I love him a lot but... at what cost?

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